Hunting Demons New and Improved
by PyroQueenOfFire
Summary: Lana Meckenzie met the Winchesters and felt an instant connection to them, and they felt it too. With the unearthed secrets, death and the need to be loved and desire to be trusted, can Lana and Dean stay soul mates? Dean/OC; a little Dean/OC/Sam; Sam/OC
1. Welcome to the Team, Lana

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

**Okay, so just a couple little heads up like I did when I moved this over from Quizilla:**

**There will be some inconsistencies—like I came up with Hell Hounds for a storyline before Hell Hounds were introduced into the Supernatural world, so I had to make due, haha.**

**Plus, there are things about Lana's character that change—because of lies and such.**

**You don't really fully know the truth about Lana until "Season Two", so much later on.**

**On top of that, this is the "born again" version of the story.**

**It needed to be rewritten, and so that's just what I'm doing with it.**

**I hope you enjoy it just as much, or more than the other version of it.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

xxxx

The girl walked through the dark alley, sure that something was following her, but she tried to stay calm. If she stayed calm, then she might be able to get away because they wouldn't think she knew they were following her, and then she would be able to get home safely…right? She'd be able to rejoin her friends and then pretend like the whole bait idea wasn't a bad idea…right?

Sadly for her, that wasn't the case. The footsteps got closer, and she started to run, she knew it was stupid, but she felt that she had to—like it was the only way to get away. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she tried to even out her scared breaths, and when she got to the middle of the alley, she looked behind her to make sure she could get away, and when she didn't see anyone, she closed her eyes happily, and stopped running, letting out a sigh of relief.

She turned around to face someone she had never seen before, and just his presence terrified her. She was going to scream, but his hand shot out to her neck, and his long nails scratched her delicate skin and she swallowed as the large incisors protruded out of his mouth and he bit into her neck. This wasn't how vampires had ever been described to her before and it shocked her, but she knew better than anyone that sometimes a hunting job could turn around and become something else at the drop of a hat.

Relying on her gut instincts as she always did, the girl was going to scream, but the man snapped her neck before she could say anything, and then drank from her until she was dry, and licked off the wound, instantly healing it, discarding her body in the dark alley, licking his lips and walking off as if nothing had happened, shouts of two girls being heard as he hurried off into the night.

xxxx

It wasn't the first time weird things had happened here, and it sure as Hell wasn't going to be the last. I was busy researching the most recent death—the girl in the alley—the girl who happened to be my best friend: Chelsea Fields. The wake was today, and so I was in a black dress, wearing a black hat with a black veil attached to it, working on my portable, wireless laptop before I left in my car.

Chelsea was the fourth girl in the last four months that had been found this way—devoid of blood, with no physical wounds but that of the cracking of her neck. I had noticed that each attack was made every month, on the 15th of each of those months, and I was going to figure it out—I was going to need Jen to come back online so that instead of thinking about what had happened when we'd found Chelsea, I could focus on how to kill the monster that did this to her. My cell phone rang as I was looking up dark rituals on the net, and then I looked at the cover and jumped up, shutting the laptop and running to the door as I opened the phone as I remembered why Jen had logged off in the first place.

"I'm on my way, Jen. I just got sidetracked. I'll be on time for the wake. No problem." I told her.

"You better be." She said. "Chelsea's parents have been wondering where you are."

"I'm on my way." I said again, locking the door.

"Good. Get here soon." She told me. "We can't research forever—our best friend was killed while the three of us were on a hunt and her wake is _now_."

"Right, Jen. Right." I sighed. "Bye."

I hung up my phone and then hurried to my silver Lexus, driving all the way to Chelsea's house, parking on the side of the street and taking a moment to let it all sink in. Chelsea, Jen and I had all grown up together and now she was gone…claimed by a hunt…all because I was stupid enough to go along with her bait idea. I sighed and blotted my now wet eyes with a Kleenex from the glove compartment, getting out, locking my car, and hurrying up to the house, running into these two men that looked kind of underdressed, and I blushed.

"Sorry." I told them, ringing the doorbell. "I should really learn to watch where I'm going."

"You look like you're in a hurry." The one with lighter hair and hazel-green eyes told me—he was definitely the most attractive to me of the two.

I nodded. "I'm late to my own best friend's wake. What side of the family are you on?"

"Oh…we're just friends from school." The darker haired one explained to me.

"I don't think I remember Chelsea mentioning you—I don't remember seeing you either." I said.

"Right…because you went to the same school too." The light haired one told me.

I smirked. "Yeah, and I don't remember any good-looking men there. It was an all girls' school, guys. Do your research if you want to snoop around."

The shorted one smacked the taller one in the arm initiating a rather upset reaction as Jen opened the door. The two composed themselves when I hugged her tightly, pulling away from her to see her looking them over. Jen had always been the more hospitable one of us, so I just let her take it from there, even though I was going to talk to the casual dressers about what they were _really_ doing here.

"Who are you guys?" She asked the two men.

I waved the question off. "Friends from school."

She nodded and laughed a little, both of us in on the little joke we had between us since neither of us went to school. Jen had been the hardest to convince to drop out of college, but after the attack on me that happened for the first time in a long time, she agreed. Now she knew through our little code that the two men behind us were just really bad hunters. I had a certain intuition about people, and now was just one of those times when relying on my instincts was key.

"Well how about you take your _friends_ into the study and talk to them there, will you? I need to check on the refreshments table and then I need you to work on _your _duties." Jen told me, squeezing my hand and taking off.

I turned to the men and smiled. "Follow me." I shook my head a little as they thought for a moment, but soon they were following me into the empty study, watching me as I shut the door behind us and locked the door. "I'm Lana…all right cuties, what are your names so I can help you with your cover?"

"I'm Dean." The light haired one told me. "And this is my younger brother, Sam."

I smiled. "Well nice to meet you. Just to let you know, I did _not_ go to the all girls' school, and I will pretend I know you, okay? Now why are you _really_ here?" The men looked at each other, and then looked back at me as we sat down and I realized that they thought I wouldn't believe what they were going to say. "Something supernatural, eh? I agree. Jen and I have been researching. But what, I still haven't figured that out. God what I would do for a scotch!"

"Scotch sounds good." Dean told me with an impressed smirk. "I take it we've encroached on another hunter's territory then?"

I smiled at him. "We're not going to find any scotch here, and no…not _encroach_. Jen and I, as much as we want to do this for revenge, could actually use another pair of eyes and ears. It's our fault Chelsea got ganked, and as weird as it sounds…I think we're dealing with vampires." I explained, lowering my voice a little, just in case someone randomly waltzed into the room. "She was drained of all of her blood, and her neck was snapped—I'm thinking a demon of some kind—or some kind of dark ritual, but my research hasn't really reached any conclusion yet."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "No _wonder_ you need our help: someone needs to explain to you that vampires—"

"—have to be beheaded? I'm aware of that, thank you. What you're not aware of is that some of the really stupid ones that people write about in books actually exist. Perhaps not by name, but definitely by definition." I replied, cutting him off. "Who needs whose help now?"

Dean cleared his throat, but I knew he was intrigued, Sam laughing a little as he watched the two of us verbally go at it.

"What makes you think you can trust _us_ with this?" Dean asked me.

I took the time to make eye contact with him and smiled. "You were trying to be undercover, and you're not dressed for the occasion. Not to mention that you needed an alias, so you were obviously looking for something, and this being the fourth death…in any ritual, there would most likely be one more—pentagrams. We both need each other's help and I figure why not team up for the time being, right?"

Sam and Dean nodded before Sam spoke up. "Could you show us your research?"

I nodded. "After the wake, sure, Sam. As for right now, I need to run on off to do my best friend duties, but since Jen is coming over later to help me some more, I suppose our new eyes and ears should join."

"All right…after the wake then." Sam told me with a smile…a killer one at that.

Four hours later, Sam and Dean followed me in their beautiful Chevy Impala to my house, and when we got out, I opened my door and sighed happily—it was good to be home and practically alone. I'd never really gotten entirely used to a hunter having to be secretive and alone and mostly unattached—the best ones were _completely_ unattached—but with my past, I was learning. I ushered them in and went straight to the mini bar, pouring myself some scotch and Dean as well when he got that look on his face—that happy look I used to wear a lot more often.

"Scotch?" I asked Sam.

He shook his head. "Water's good, thanks."

I nodded, and gave him some ice water, and then I went to the couch and cuddled into it, opening my laptop and then looking up at them as I drank my scotch on the rocks and I giggled. They were standing there stiffly until Dean swooped down into the lazy boy chair near him, Sam rolling his eyes and muttering something under his breath to his brother that Dean rolled his eyes at.

"Make yourselves at home." I told them, mostly to reassure Sam since Dean had already taken the liberty of putting his feet up on the coffee table. "Hey! Use a coaster!"

Dean smirked and grabbed one of the coasters, putting his feet down and coming to sit down next to me on the couch, picking up my notepad. Sam followed suit and sat on the couch across from the one that Dean and I were occupying, waiting for me to pull up the things I had on what possibly could have killed Chelsea. He definitely seemed like the one that took things a little more seriously, while Dean seemed to be in it for the thrill of the hunt—so different and yet…they fascinated me.

"You see," I began, turning the laptop so Dean and Sam could see it, "if it was this ritual here to bring about great evil, it requires blood of five people, and would be able to be complete in two months—something about the moon cycle—which fits with the pattern of the deaths. However, you do not need all of the blood of each victim, and the cracking of the neck makes it a lot harder to draw blood. Jen and I were stuck on that for a while, but that's the way it is sometimes, right? Guess until you get it right?"

"But what if they cracked the neck later on after they died?" Sam asked me, trying to piece it all together.

I shook my head. "The marks indicate that the blood was drained afterwards—the bruising."

"How do you know this?" Dean asked me, genuinely curious and waiting for another answer that would make Jen and I his kind of hunters to work with.

I blushed, and got myself a second glass of scotch. "Jen and I have fake ID's for morgues—its how all the great hunters do it isn't it?"

Dean beamed. "It certainly is. After the wake, Sam and I were going to go and look at the bodies ourselves."

Sam leaned back on the couch as he looked over the notepad Dean had returned to the coffee table and then they both looked at me as I poured myself a third glass of scotch. Sam seemed a little hesitant about me ingesting all of the alcohol, but for some reason the research just reminded me of the confrontation…of Chelsea's death…of my ridiculous plan that got her killed. I was supposed to protect her, and I had practically handed her to the vampire on a silver platter and I was supposed to live myself after that? So what if I got revenge on the vampire that did this? My other best friend was no longer here and it was my fault it had been that way.

"You think you should slow down?" Sam asked me, genuinely concerned for me even though he barely knew me—if he even knew me at all at this point.

I shrugged, and I was actually starting to feel sad. "You don't understand…" I began. "I feel like if I had just told her it was a plan that was most likely going to go wrong—if Jen and I had been straight with her—we could have spared her—I could have handled myself a lot better in that situation but I let her do it…I'm pretty much the worst friend ever."

Tears started to spill out of my eyes as I drank the third scotch down, and then I was sobbing, and grabbed onto Dean who was closest, and Dean hugged me gingerly, trying to comfort me without ruining his manly reputation—I was only assuming he had one of those reputations because he acted like it—it was in the air of the way he walked and everything. He wasn't at all comfortable with the touching, even if I had spotted him checking me out before, and so I let the shift happen—let Sam comfort me instead. Sam was strong, and he held you firm and gentle, and I snuggled into his chest, Dean clearing his throat so as not to be forgotten.

"It's all right. You couldn't have saved her." He said slowly as the doorbell rang.

"That must be Jen." I said, pulling out of Sam's arms and wiping my eyes.

"You want some space?" Sam asked me, looking me over to make sure I was going to be all right—couldn't very well have one of his partners become a basket case of nerves.

I shook my head. "You know, since you guys are going to help me, why don't you just crash here. The whole house is mine and it gets lonely, so feel free to stay as long as you want. Extra blankets and pillows are in the hall closet. My room is the second on the right up the stairs if you need me."

The boys were surprised but Dean nodded, me heading to the front door and pausing a moment to check myself out in the mirror near the door. I knew I shouldn't have started to put alcohol in my system—not when I knew I was a sad drunk and I had things to be sad about. After tousling my hair a bit and then making sure my eyes were as dry as I could get them, I reached for the door knob and opened up the door to reveal my grinning best friend.

"Hey, honey." I greeted.

Jen smiled and then looked sad and sighed. "Have you been crying, Lan?"

I just shrugged a little. "I'm kind of in a funk right now and _might_ have had a couple."

Jen rolled her eyes and nodded before she hugged me, her eyes widening as she looked past me into the living room at Sam and Dean. She was going to talk to me about how I needed to be more careful when mixing my sorrows with spirits, but now she was focused on the two hunters standing in my living room. I laughed a little and helped her out of her coat, hanging it up on the coat rack and nodding as she found her words.

"What are they doing here?" She asked me, shooting me a look. "Did you open up some kind of hunter inn, or whore house when I wasn't looking?"

I laughed. "Since they're helping us out, I figured the least I could do for them was spare them a motel stay."

"Fine…at least you're using your head as well as being hospitable…leave it to _you_ to house strange, attractive men." Jen nodded and then waved at them as I smiled and shrugged playfully. "Um…hi guys."

"Nice to see you again, Jen." Sam greeted her warmly, Dean giving her a small wave.

Jen followed me into the living room and I handed her the notebook, her setting to work on my laptop as Sam looked things up on his and I went into the kitchen. Dean followed me and I couldn't say I wasn't happy about it—I'd been practically making eyes at him ever since we'd met, and I had no idea was I was so drawn to the cheeky son of a bitch. I turned to face him as I grabbed the vitamin canister out of the cabinet, and he smirked a little, making me want to jump his bones.

"I never asked you why you were here." I told him. "And I mean, like here—in Kansas."

Dean nodded and looked at me hard before he decided to answer truthfully. "We just finished a case and found this one."

I smiled at him and tucked my brown hair behind my ears. "That's got to be some luck of ours that we found new help—I have to hand it to luck because my karma is amazingly terrible."

"Oh, really? Well I suppose you could thank your luck then…we were in the area, heard about the mysterious deaths over here—and we're from Lawrence." Dean told me, and I could tell he really didn't walk about himself much when he made a little face and then recovered quickly—he was being too honest.

I smiled again though. "Small world."

"That it is." Dean told me with a shrug. "And not like that ridiculous Disney Land ride either."

I laughed at him and for a moment the two of us made direct eye contact and smiled at one another and I felt pretty good about the current situation. Even though I knew they wouldn't be staying, for the time being I had company and it was the kind of company I was looking forward to. Honestly, it felt to me like we had a connection, and I had a strong feeling that Dean felt it too…and then we heard Jen laughing.

"Sounds to me like Jen and Sam are getting friendly." I told Dean, our eyes still locked.

He chuckled and I suddenly felt tingly all over—in the _best_ way. "She didn't giggle, so I doubt flirting is going on. Why…you jealous for the giant?"

I smirked and shook my head. "One, Jen doesn't giggle, and two, I really don't think I'm interested in either of you, and since Kevin's death is still fresh for Jen, she's not either—your brother just must be funny."

I knew I was lying—I wanted to take Dean then and there, but I was standing my ground since we'd just met, I wasn't easy, and I didn't even know his last name. He was simply another hunter, in the same vicinity, and I had been celibate for quite a long time…my entire existence, actually. Still, something about him was making me feel like I knew him—feel like there was something between us that was completely unexplainable…a connection of some sort. Again…my feelings were almost never wrong.

"Sam's girlfriend died recently too, actually." Dean admitted, motioning his head into the living room. "If you want to ruin both of their chances of getting laid, then be my guest."

I laughed and shook my head at him. "So you're _that_ kind of guy, huh? I mean I know lots of hunters—males and females alike—are rather horny and promiscuous, but some of us actually have some morals…and they include not hooking up to try and get over a death of someone close to you."

Dean smirked and let out a low chuckle that made my entire body tingle again, and I went past him into the living room, smiling as Jen and Sam went over research together. She was simply laughing because Sam had some funny hunting stories to tell—there was no obvious flirting going on, even though Dean and I could tell that Sam and Jen might possibly be interested…at least Jen was. Noticing our entrance, Jen told Sam it was time for her to go and headed out to finish things up for her father, hugging me before she began to head to the door.

"I say we do this bright and early tomorrow morning." Jen explained, looking me directly in the eye. "I have some new research for you, but maybe you should look it over when you're sober."

I nodded and laughed. "All right. I need to sleep anyway, so get your ass home."

She smiled and waved 'bye' to the boys, me showing them to the guest rooms and then giving them a small tour of the house so they knew where things were, and made sure to let them know they could make themselves at home…and made sure to end the tour back in the living room. I grabbed the bottle of scotch even though I knew I shouldn't since we had to hunt the next day, but part of me wished that Chelsea was here arguing with me and Jen about how it should all be done. I looked at Sam who was worried and I couldn't help but already become attached to the two men standing in my living room—hunters or no, they were so protective…and so genuine.

"Sure you don't want to slow down with that stuff?" Sam asked me again. "I mean if you want I can stay up and we can talk."

I smiled at him, noticing Dean shifting a little uncomfortably. "It's just one night and I don't want you to give up sleep for my stupid problems…I'll be okay, I promise."

A few hours later, I had only had two more glasses of scotch, and I was pacing my room, thinking hard about things, tears streaming down my face. Occasionally I would have to blow my nose, and then I looked up to see Dean coming into my room, carrying a bag of cookies—I didn't even care that I was in a short nightgown and I looked like a mess. It was almost as if he was suddenly _trying_ to be an angel, and I wasn't going to stop him.

"Thought maybe you'd want some." Dean said with a shrug, like it was nothing.

I smirked at him. "I've known you less then twenty-four hours, really, and you're already hitting on me."

Dean smirked too. "You've been hitting on me all day…scotch?"

I pointed to the nightstand, and soon I was trying to keep up with him, and the both of us were wasted, and I was crying my heart out, and laughing as well, trying to figure out the murder. Dean was also opening up to me, even though I could tell that he could handle a few more before he _had_ to spill his guts to some random girl he'd only just met…he seemed to actually want to share things with me. Then I hit a nerve when I asked how he and Sam ended up hunting together, and Dean told me how he and Sam had been hunting all kinds of demons before when they were young, but now Sam had dropped out of college because Jessica, his girlfriend, had been murdered, and they were looking for their father who had gone AWOL.

"I'm sorry I brought it up." I told him, lying back on my bed and looking at him.

"Its fine, Lana, really." He turned his head and gazed at me fondly, reaching out to stroke my hair. "You know, you're really beautiful."

I smiled and sat up, my face close to his, way too lonely to deny the poor man a good lay. I'd never done this before, and I certainly had no idea what I was doing, but he was taking care of me in a way and I was never going to see him again. It was one of those opportunities that I couldn't let pass me by, so I kissed him, pulling away right as he started to kiss me back. I bit my lips and ran my fingers through his sandy brown hair, our hazel eyes locking together before his lips crashed into mine and he laid me down on the mattress, his fingers slipping up under my nightgown.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute." I said as he removed my underwear and went for his belt. "I don't even know your last name."

Dean chuckled and ran his thumb over my lip with the hand not up my nightgown, and I knew that even if he didn't tell me, I was going to let him have me. He wasn't even upset I'd stopped; he just ran his fingers along me lightly between my legs making my lust for him grow, and then when I asked him what his last name was, he abandoned trying to simply arouse me and looked me in the eye.

"Dean Winchester and you are?" He asked me.

I smiled at him and gasped when I felt one of his fingers push inside. "Lana Meckenzie."

Sex really wasn't at all what I had imagined it to be ever. There were moments when I wanted to scream it felt so felt so fabulous, but that moment when he finally pushed in was so painful, I had to bite my lip to stop myself from asking him to stop. I fought back the tears, and after a few moments it started to feel a lot better, especially with his mouth and hands trying to please other parts of me along the way, so I sucked it up and the two of us finally got a rhythm down. He had nothing but dirty and coaxing words to say, so we bantered a little, me climaxing first, followed by him, and then afterwards he held me…the ladies man I was pretty sure he was, was spooning me, and when he nuzzled my hair with his nose, I just snuggled into him and fell asleep.

xxxx

Everything hurt the next morning: my head, my privates…and then when I opened my eyes they hurt too when I was practically blinded by the light, and quickly covered my eyes—damn windows! When I looked around, squinting, I saw Dean lying under the covers, the bottom half of him was covered with the sheets, our clothes on the ground. I grabbed a large button up shirt and pulled it on, and then pulled on a fresh pair of panties and pulled my hair back into a ponytail—I was never going to drink again, that was for sure. It was fun, my cherry was popped, but for some reason now I felt like a cheap floozy, and Dean and Sam were gonna pack up and get out of my life when this hunt was over and I didn't want them to leave.

"Oh my." I heard Dean say.

"The joys of scotch." I replied, turning to him with a smile on my face as he laughed.

"Sam's still down there probably." He said, squinting until I closed the curtains.

I shrugged and headed for the door. "I need coffee more than anything—I could care less if your brother sees me like this."

I turned the doorknob, stopping when I heard Dean's voice ask, "So how was it?"

I looked at him with a smile on my face. "It was one big, happy blur. You're kind of better than I thought you would be."

Dean chuckled when I winked at him, and I headed out of the bedroom, going downstairs, putting the ground coffee beans into the coffee maker and then adding water. Then I went into the bathroom and grabbed some Advil, turning around to Dean, and then I gave him my two pills, and got myself two more. He looked used to hangovers, and I certainly wasn't, even though I had been drunk once or twice before, and I envied that he could handle so much more than me.

"When will the coffee be ready?" Dean asked me as he popped the pills down.

I shrugged, and then I felt it—rising chunks. "You might want to leave."

"What?" He asked me with an eyebrow cocked.

I couldn't answer him, because I had lifted up the lid and then leaned over the toilet, throwing up the evidence of what caused me to sleep with Dean the night before, as Dean made a noise and left the room. He knew if he stayed in there with me while I was vomiting he would lose it too, and I really couldn't blame him. When I was done, I flushed the toilet, rinsed my mouth out, and then I grabbed my toothbrush and some toothpaste, and brushed my teeth. Walking out into the kitchen, I poured myself a cup of coffee, and then I went and sat down with my laptop, trying hard to ignore the splitting headache, and the stomach lurches, and then I looked up and saw Sam looking at me funny.

"I figured you guys wouldn't mind if I walked around like this for a little bit. I have the worst hangover." I said, closing my eyes and taking a sip of my coffee.

"It's not like I haven't seen more." Dean said, sitting down on the other end of my couch and drinking coffee too, me really wishing my hangover was as minimal as his as Sam looked at us both a little confused.

Dean cleared his throat. "We, uh…don't judge me, Sammy."

Sam sighed and shook his head. "Real nice of you to take advantage of her, Dean. You know I thought you were the one who said that we weren't supposed to get close to people when we were in this line of work."

"Thank you for the concern, Sam, really, but it's fine." I told him with a fond smile, pleased that he cared enough to try and put Dean in his place. "Dean and I are both consenting adults and it was just one night that made us both feel better—I'm a big girl…I can handle it…even if it was my first time."

I had mumbled the last part into my coffee, but Sam and Dean had both heard it and looked at me as I sipped my coffee. Sam then immediately gave Dean an angry look and would have lectured him then and there if I hadn't been in the room, I was sure, and Dean…I couldn't place his look. He was a little stunned and yet a little proud and yet a little upset with himself, and I instantly knew that he was going to remember me, even when he was off getting ready to hop into bed with someone else.

"You certainly seemed experienced last night, Princess." Dean asked me and then he laughed a little and shook his head. "You really don't mind giving out information, do you?"

"Neither do you." I pointed out and shrugged. "I didn't bring it all up." Sam sighed, and then I set the cup down and dinked around on my laptop as Sam and Dean exchanged looks with each other, Sam wanting to say something but not in front of me, and then I sat up straight, my eyes widening. "Oh my God, I know exactly what we're dealing with! Ritual? Pshh! When we were first researching, Jen told me that she was pretty sure there was a lair around here of the old school vampires—the stake in the heart ones—but we never found anything. Since no girl died last night…plus Jen kind of tailed a shady looking guy last night and thinks she found a lair."

Sam took the information all in and nodded slowly. "Okay, but…what about the bite marks?"

"Vampire saliva has healing powers." Dean and I said in unison.

We looked at each other for a moment and then looked at Sam, me pleading with him to accept it and help us. Sam and Dean knew they didn't have a reason not to trust Jen and I thus far, so they nodded and we got dressed and headed to the coordinates that Jen texted to me on my cell. I looked up at the building and called Jen, her laughing when she picked it up, Sam and Dean arguing over by the Impala as I stood on the sidewalk.

"So are you sure this abandoned building is the lair, Jen? You've been wrong before." I told Jen as I made a face at having to go in there.

"Look, trust me here. Who bailed who out of the building with the secret plans last time because she was being stupid and didn't listen to her?" Jen asked me, and I knew her eyebrows were raised at me just from her tone.

I sighed and replied in a small voice, "You did."

"Exactly. Now go in the stupid building, Lana." Jen told me with a laugh.

"Okay. Okay. Fine." I said and motioned to Sam and Dean, who joined me.

"Just be careful—don't let anything happen to Sam." Jen said, and hung up on me.

We were standing outside of a huge building in the city, and I had my hands on my hips. I wasn't sure that they were right about this because it only took Sam two hours to find it. Cases rarely ever just dropped into your lap, but sometimes they did and I would just have to be thankful about this one, I supposed. I looked at Dean looking me up and down, and then I just rolled my eyes and went towards the door instead of telling them what I wanted to tell them.

"Wait!" Sam cautioned. "We have to be prepared."

I smiled, and pulled a gun out of my coat pocket. "Holy bullets with crosses etched into them—won't kill them, but it'll hurt like a mother." I explained, and then I pulled two viles of clear liquids out of my pockets and then I handed them to them. "Holy Water. Use it well."

They looked at my funny, and Dean held out his hand for gun. "Hand it over."

"Um…no." I told him. "I get the heavy machinery—I brought it after all."

"Oh please. Like I'm going to let a woman carry the gun." He said and motioned for me to hand it over again. "Like you even know how to operate heavy machinery."

I scoffed and shook my head. "I learn pretty quick—you learned that last night—and for your information, I take offense to that sexist comment. Now are we checking this out or not? You are helping me with my case, and honestly now that I know what needs to be done to finish it, I could really do this without you."

"No, no. We're good." Sam told me, standing right by my side. "Don't let the fact that he's an ass make you do something stupid."

I smiled and nodded at him. "Wouldn't dream of it."

Sam nodded and kept walking, Dean coming up next to me both of us lagging a little behind. He reached out to grab my hand, me stopping and looking at him as he gave me a look and then Sam turned to look at us. My eyes were focused on Dean though because obviously there was something he wanted to say to me.

"I don't think Sam wanted to know anything else about last night." Dean told me, and I knew it wasn't what he wanted to say, but it was what came out anyway.

I shrugged a little and let go of his hand. "I don't think you ever want to talk about it again. Was it really that bad?"

"I don't think now is the time to talk about this." Sam said suddenly. "After we kill the vampires, please?"

I nodded, and led the way into the building, walking slowly and listening hard to the things around me as I walked. Something moved past me quickly, and I turned to the right and started looking around madly, trying to figure out where this thing was. Dean was close to me on my other side, like he was protecting me, and I smiled slightly. He was so mutli-faceted, and I really wished that after this I wouldn't have to see the last of him…I wanted him to stick around.

"Over here!" Sam called out and I turned around and saw a hitch in the wall.

I pulled on it, and then I stepped inside and immediately tried to hold my breath at the stench. There were three dead bodies hanging on the wall—all of them looked like familiar missing girls from the past few months, and I realized how wrong my theory had really been—this thing fed like all the time. It just meant that Jen was pretty much the brains of the operation, and I was just the gung-ho Mistress of Violence.

I whirled around when I heard a noise and I saw the vampire with his hand to Sam's throat, cutting off his airflow, and then the creature looked at me, a sly smile spreading across his face. Dean stepped in between us though, and Sam smashed his vile of Holy Water into the vampire and it screamed releasing Sam as Dean threw his bottle. The vampire started to come at me, and then Dean shook his head and hit the vampire, but it didn't faze him much.

"She's my toy, not yours." Dean told it, and then I grabbed a stake out of my pocket on my pant leg and shoved it into his heart, watching him burst into ashes.

"Let me fix that for you." I told Sam, hurrying over to him as he nodded, and followed me outside.

Once at my house, I cleansed, treated, and wrapped up Sam's hand while Dean sat there and looked at things on my laptop. I was already attached and I knew it, but looking into Sam's chocolate brown eyes while I treated him as best I could made the feeling sink into my gut just a little more. Sam smiled his infectious smile at me and I couldn't help but want to snuggle into him, blushing a little as he chuckled a little and it warmed my insides.

"Thanks." Sam told me, and I just smiled and nodded.

"Anytime. And you." I turned to Dean, walked over to him, and slapped him. "I am nobody's toy."

Dean rubbed his cheek and smirked a little, and we hung out for the rest of the day, me telling them to get a good night's rest here before leaving. It took convincing but Sam caved first, and the next morning I made breakfast as Sam and Dean told me that they should really get going. I nodded, and I realized that my heart was breaking when they gathered up their things to go and packed up the back of the Impala. It was just going to be me again, in this big, empty house, occasionally with Jen over to bond with me. Both of my adopted parents had been murdered by demons, and my siblings…they weren't around and that was simply the way it was so I followed them to the Impala and bit my lip at them.

"You sure you have to go?" I asked them suddenly.

Sam nodded slowly. "We have to find our father."

"You can't stay for like, two more days? One more day?" I tried glad Sam was considering it even though he was shaking his head.

Sam smiled at me. "We would, but we should be heading out."

"It's not like we won't call." Dean told me with a grin.

"Yeah, because I trust you to call me." I said, smiling as he smiled and shrugged. "Look, at least wait for like ten quick minutes, all right?"

"Okay." Sam nodded as Dean sighed, "Fine."

I ran upstairs and packed like the wind, running out with one bag of clothes, and one bag of weapons. It was a rather rash decision on my part, but I couldn't just let them leave me when the connection I felt with them was so strong. Sam smiled a little at me even though Dean stayed surprised the whole time as I stood there in front of them for a moment and then continued to move so that I wouldn't back out.

"I'm coming." I said, opening up the back door of the car and tossing my things in. "I could really help, and I'm in need of an adventure. Jen will always keep in touch, and fighting demons is thoroughly refreshing. I have money too and hunting experience!"

"Just get in, Lana." Sam told me, grinning and motioning to the car.

"Can you wait one moment while I talk to her alone please?" Dean asked Sam, holding up a finger to his brother and then dragging me over to the porch and looking me directly in the eye. "Why would you want to do this? You have a great place here, and beautiful friend, and I don't see why you'd throw your life away on hunting."

I smiled at him and ran my thumb along his hand, surprised when he didn't take his hand away from mine. "I think I made that clear—helping people leaves me with a wonderful feeling inside. Besides…having a normal life is over-rated, and when you know about the existence of monsters…it can't really be 'normal'."

Dean nodded slowly. "You know I was only trying to get to you earlier right? You don't have to do this to get back at me, because last night was amazing and I wouldn't want to take it back…I'm just a dick sometimes."

"It's nice to know, Sweet-Talker, but I'm not doing this to get back at you—and don't worry, I'm not doing this to get _with_ you all the time either—I just want to help, and I don't really have anything here besides Jen, and she's got her own life actually trying to be normal, so without me that's less hunts for her. This isn't about the fact that you want to just leave this as a one-night stand, is it? Because I won't get in your way of other girls at all—I'm over you."

Dean laughed as I winked. "You know what, we could use a change in pace. Come on."

He moved his head in the direction of the car, and I smiled, and followed him, getting into the back seat of the car. I couldn't even begin to describe the joy I was feeling that I was actually going to get to travel with Sam and Dean. They were perfect strangers, and I knew that, but on some level we understood each other because we understood what it was like to be a hunter…what it was like to sacrifice and keep secrets.

"Welcome to the team." Sam told me, and then Dean turned the engine over and the car sped out of the driveway.


	2. Flirting and Water Spirits

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I realized I should prolly start putting a warning at the beginning of every chapter, so I will.**

**I love this story, and the re-write is going fabulously.**

**=D**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

xxxx

Traveling with the boys was actually rather pleasing and entertaining. I was learning quite a lot about both Sam and Dean, and I was finding myself rather attracted to both of them. I knew it was bad because they were brothers and Dean had totally deflowered me, but I couldn't help it, and they were so different from each other that it kept me intrigued. Dean was definitely the ladies man I thought he had been, while Sam was a gentleman and protective without being overbearing. To be honest, even though I knew there was a connection between Dean and I, Sam was the one I was starting to fall for with his shy smiles, his killer grin when he was entertained, and his dimples—and of course his sweet as sin attitude.

A couple weeks after we had started traveling together—me sleeping in Sam's bed when we got to motel rooms because Dean always tried to cop a feel—we stopped at a gas station. I was rather hungry so I got out of the Impala while Dean tossed Sam his wallet, Sam pulling out one of the fake credit cards and looked at me as I shifted in the backseat. I set my laptop on the seat next to me as I cursed under my breath leaning up and over the middle and shoving the charger for my laptop into the cigarette lighter. Dean was looking at my chest and I knew it, and I just rolled my eyes and then got out to get a newspaper as Sam started to pump the gas.

"Can't you look news up on that precious laptop of yours?" Dean asked me with a chuckle.

If I haven't yet mentioned that Dean Winchester was hot, than I have to mention it now. Sam and Dean Winchester were both very attractive, but for completely different reasons, and I knew it was their differences that made them both so appealing to me. Sam had darker brown hair, was taller, his muscles more defined, and big, strong hands that honestly could touch me anywhere at anytime. Dean's hair was lighter, his muscles were more lean, he did amazing things with his tongue, his nose was sexy, his freckles adorable, his arms locked around you and you knew you were safe and protected, and damn was he attractive naked—tack on cheeky and funny as Hell and you got yourself a rather amazing man. It was hard to choose, but Sam didn't look at me like I was simply another warm body and a notch on his belt.

"The internet doesn't smell like a newspaper, now does it?" I asked smiling.

Dean smiled and shook his head, following close behind me as I headed into the gas station to buy myself something to eat. It was early morning and I had dozed in the backseat of the Impala when I wasn't glued to my computer screen trying to learn more about monsters, demons and ghosts using the sites Sam had showed me. I wasn't quite trusted enough to touch their father's journal and I didn't press them on it—there were things about my family I wasn't comfortable sharing with them either, and when in a tight spot I just lied…something I was damn good at by now—oh! Powdered donuts for cheap!

"What brings such a gorgeous girl to parts like these with two such unworthy men?" The cashier asked.

There was definitely something wrong with me because I normally didn't like blondes, but this man was definitely on my, 'Oh-My-God-You're-Fucking-Hot' radar. He had dark blue eyes that twinkled when he smiled at me, looking me up and down and I sighed ever so slightly because I wasn't looking for any more hook-ups—alcohol and I were no longer friends, and I was not picking up any more strangers…even if they were hot strangers. So I just laughed his line off and grabbed the powdered donuts, a couple bags of chips, some gum, and a pack of the power Vitamin Water, dragonfruit flavored, and headed up to the counter, putting it all down.

"For your information, I don't like you hitting on my girlfriend." Dean told him sternly.

I felt my cheeks flush, but I smiled, and looked away so neither of them could see it. If Dean was going to pretend that he was my boyfriend than more power to him, but he definitely wasn't going to bed me again anytime soon—not until I felt like I wasn't just his plaything. The cashier didn't stop smiling at me, but he did smile a little less when Dean's eyes blazed into his when they made eye contact for a brief moment and he swallowed a bit…Dean was a little intimidating.

"Sorry dude, I didn't know." The cashier told him, raising his hands up a little in surrender.

"Well now that you do, can you please ring this stuff up for us?" Dean asked him shortly.

I smacked his arm for being so rude, which made him upset and the cashier rather happy, and then pulled out the money to pay for things. Dean, however, wanted this image to stick, and kissed my cheek and paid for it with his own money, even helping me to carry my junk food back out to the Impala. Sam had just put the nozzle back and was getting into the passenger seat, stopping and opening up the back door for me, me smiling at him and him smiling back, and then I sat in the back and put my laptop on my lap after I buckled in.

"You owe me $15.78." Dean told me, and he was serious about it.

I laughed and shook my head. "Actually, you _chose_ to pay for that. Get over it."

Sam frowned at his brother. "Could you at least be nice to her once in a while?"

"But she practically threw herself at that cashier back there!" Dean protested.

"Um…no I didn't. _He_ hit on _me_, and _you_ jumped in and told him to stop hitting on your girlfriend. If anyone's throwing themselves at anyone, it's you throwing yourself at me—I could have been completely independent and paid for my own food, so since you tried to be a gentleman, you gotta reap what you sewed, Buddy." I told him with a smile on my face.

Dean grumbled and then was quiet, starting the car and getting back on the road, Sam sneaking glances back at me. I smiled at him, our eyes meeting, and then blushed a little and got onto my IM, Jen online. We started to talk about what had happened and what she had been up to, and though she thought Dean was flirting and I did at first, I was pretty sure he was simply marking his territory, and I was no one's property. When I called him a 'jerk', she reminded that he was a jerk that I had a one-night stand with. I giggled, and then I wiped the smirk off my face when Dean turned around, and went back to talking to my best friend, occasionally making eye contact with Sam.

"What do you think that guy meant back there when he said 'these parts'?" I asked as we passed some place the military was blocking off. "Oh, I was just asking Sam something, Jen."

"I don't know. I think it was just a pick up line." Dean said angrily.

"Stop the car, Sam." I told him, and he nodded. "Jen I'll call you back."

I hung up my cell phone, got out of the car, opened Dean's door, and dragged him out. He wasn't happy about it, but he followed me behind a few trees where no one could see us, and I pushed him up against the tree. I was a little sick and tired with Dean being aggressive and acting like he owned me, and like he was jealous about every guy that came onto me—even though not all of them did. Sam was just barely dealing with all of it, and Dean was now smirking at me…one of the other things about Dean Winchester that made him hot.

"I'm through with you being angry at me for other people hitting on me when I didn't do anything. If you like me, or you're jealous someone else is looking at the thing _you_ slept with, then deal with it and stop taking it out on me!" I told him firmly. "You do _not_ own me, and you do _not_ get to take your jealousy out on me! Just be a man and own up to the sexual feelings so we can both move on."

Dean sighed. "I just—you're part of our team now, and it's not good to go making ties with people."

"I made ties with you guys and it's turning out fine." I told him with a shrug. "And I love our banter, I do, but can we make it a little more playful, please?"

"All right but only if you promise me on thing." Dean said and when I nodded he took a deep breath. "Just don't get attached to me okay? I tend to hurt people."

I laughed a little and smiled at him, stepping a little closer too him. "Well it's too late for that, because I'm already attached to you…you _and_ Sam."

Dean smiled a little bit too. "I see."

I rolled my eyes, which was becoming a habit with me with him. "Don't even think about getting _any_more from me. I'm attached to Sam too, you know—I _just_ said that…in fact I think I'm rather quite attached to Sam."

The look in Dean's eyes made me think that he was going to kiss me and I held my breath for just a moment, but the second I stressed Sam in the last sentence, Dean pulled back. He nodded and then he got out from between me and the tree and headed back for the car, me biting my lip and staring at the tree instead of watching him go. If they hadn't been brothers it would be so much easier, but they were, and I was about to wedge in between them and I really shouldn't have been trying to do that…so maybe I should just be their platonic friend with boobs—Hey! That's actually a good idea, Lana!

I went towards the car and got into the back seat, Dean already back in the driver's seat, ready to get the car back out onto the road. I couldn't tell if he was jealous about me being attached to Sam _and_ him, but I knew that part of me wanted him to be…I was such a terrible person. Sam looked at me as I buckled myself in, determinedly not looking at either of the Winchester brothers, my eyes focused on my laptop. I could feel his gaze though, and _wanted_ to gaze into his calm and caring chocolate eyes, but I was willing myself to be collected and mature about this…God I wanted them both.

"You know, someday that laptop of yours is going to make your eyesight go." Dean said as I got it out and opened it up, happy Jen was online still.

"Why must you keep making her angry?" Sam asked him with an exasperated sigh. "I mean all you do is pick fights with her—no wonder women only wanna be around you for a night."

I laughed and Dean shot us both looks. "Maybe it is, Sam, but honestly he's not making me mad, he's just trying to banter with me.

Sam smiled as the two of us made eye contact, the beeping from Jen's conversation being the only thing that dropped our gaze. The youngest Winchester was _definitely_ flirting with me, and I was really glad that even though Dean and I had totally slept together already when we were drunk, Sam wasn't shying away because I liked the meaningful eye locks. I felt his gaze leave me as Dean looked over at his brother and grumbled slightly, waving it off when Sam asked him if something was wrong, and soon we had stopped to stay in a hotel for the night, me proposing it because I wanted better room service, and in turn better food, and so Sam told the man at the front desk that we only needed two beds and one room in which I piped up that Sam and I were married. Dean looked a little dejected, but went along with the story as I slipped my arm through Sam's, and then we went up to our rooms after acquiring the key.

"This is so much better than a cheap motel!" I exclaimed, flopping down on the nearest bed and then sitting up, my feet dangling over the foot of the bed. "So…I'm going to sleep here and you two are going to share that giant thing."

Dean laughed. "Oh no, sweetheart—you're going to sleep with Sam since that's what you've been doing the whole time you've been with us and he's your precious_ husband_."

"Someone sounds resentful." Sam told Dean, tossing his duffle at my feet and bending down to rummage through it. "If you want to sleep with her for a night, all you have to do is ask."

"What am I, the Winchester Whore?" I asked with a laugh. "Because, Baby, I expect to be paid for my services if you're just going to be passing me back and forth between the two of you—and you do not get to pimp me out to strangers or fellow hunters."

Dean chuckled and then he sighed. "Damn, because I know a couple hunters that would pay quite the pretty penny to have a night with you, sweetheart."

I rolled my eyes and then looked at him, trying not to bite my lip as Sam's hair ran along my bare leg, me wearing shorts. Dean noticed the slight flash of pleasure in my eyes though and the eye contact broke between us, Dean opening up the duffle he'd tossed onto the bag. Sam headed into the bathroom and I pulled my shirt off, Dean looking over at me and eyeing my chest as I searched in my duffle next to me for a tank and my boxer shorts. Dean had already seen me naked, so changing in front of him really wasn't an issue, and when I was dressed, Dean and I heard the shower in the bathroom running and Dean chuckled.

"Poor guy wants to smell all right since you're going to be cuddling up with him." Dean pointed out.

I smirked and shrugged. "I kind of like it when he smells like he's been active."

Dean grumbled a little and nodded. "So…Sam's the kind of guy that you're into?"

"Honestly? Honestly you are both rather attractive and any girl would be lucky to be with you…I choose to sleep in Sam's bed because first time I slept in yours and you copped a feel and rubbed up against me and I liked it." I replied with a laugh. "Just because you're both here, doesn't mean I should be taking advantage of it and we all know it."

Dean nodded. "All right…I can deal with that since you so logically and dotingly explained it the way that you did."

"I'm glad, Dean." I replied, and then set my duffle next to Sam's and got into the bed under the covers, looking up at Sam and smiling as he came out of the room drying off his hair in a t-shirt and boxer shorts. "Someone's getting a snuggling tonight because they smell good."

I knew that the flirting with Dean in the room was totally not the right thing to do, but I couldn't stop myself—the words came out of my mouth and there was no taking them back. Honestly, the grin Sam gave me really made me feel just fine about it, and Dean turned the light off rather quickly when Sam crawled into the bed with me, and once we were bathed in darkness I cuddled up into Sam and blushed when he stroked my hair. In that moment I felt Sam's breath on my face, and beamed at the faint smell of mint—the man smelled damn good and when the kiss was pressed to my lips, I returned it.

Even though Dean was in the room, in the next bed over—which kind of made it all the more appealing, honestly—Sam's hand slipped down out of my hair and traveled to my right breast, giving it a soft squeeze. I wanted to moan out loud but I knew I couldn't, and stroked his jaw with my thumb, shaking my head and pulling my lips away, only to rest my mouth by Sam's ear to whisper to him as softly as I could. Honestly this was a dream come true, but things were going way too fast, and though I knew they'd both been lonely for a while and I was shiny and new and female, it was starting to get a little risqué.

"Not with Dean right there." I whispered, nipping his ear softly and snuggling my body even closer into his. "Goodnight, Sam."

"Goodnight, Lan." He whispered back, and I couldn't help but swoon almost at the nickname because the care and sincerity was behind it in a romantic way.

I woke up the next morning to Dean's arms wrapped around me, his face buried in my hair, and Sam wasn't in our bed anymore. I was wondering how and why Dean was in Sam's bed, and figured that Sam had gone out to do something, but what if he came back and Dean was here holding me like this? Dean smelled fabulous and he was locking me into that tight embrace with his safe, strong arms, and I couldn't help but shift so that he was completely cuddling me…so that he had me where he wanted me.

"Your hair smells good." Dean whispered in my ear, biting my ear lobe softly which sent pleasant shivers down my whole body.

I groaned happily. "God you Winchesters are a couple of horny bastards! And thanks…I make it a point to bathe."

Dean chuckled at my joke, ignoring that I'd thrown Sam into the 'horny' category. "So what would you say if I asked you to let me love you?"

I turned over in his arms to face him and shook my head him pouting which made me instinctively bit his pouting lip softly, widening my eyes as he set his hand on my thigh. First he sleeps with me while we're drunk, then he cops a feel when I joined the team and made the duo a trio, then Sam went and flirted with me, then Sam groped my breast and kissed me sweet and hot, and now Dean stroking my thigh, trying to get in my pants again. Fantasy, yes, but I didn't want to be some slut, and I certainly wasn't letting Dean back into my pants _that_ easy…he had to work for it and I had to be sure he wasn't gonna jump any random hussy that came along.

"Admit that you like me." I said, my hand stopping his.

"What?" He asked, honestly perplexed by the order.

I nodded slowly and repeated in a different way, "Admit that you want me."

Dean sighed and then noting my determined expression, gave in. "Look, I _am_ attracted to you."

"And?" I asked, demanding an actual declaration and running my fingertips along his beautiful damn lips as my leg ran along his under the covers.

"And I may want you." Dean answered me after he swallowed.

I beamed at him and got out of the bed. "Well at least you admitted it."

I knew that I was being a tease and I shouldn't have been, but physical stimulation seemed to be the only thing that Dean understood. He really wasn't very happy with the flirting and then with me leaving the bed when he wanted to jump me, but there were too many things to consider and I needed to think them all over before bedding either of them. Dean made a noise and I looked at him, our eyes meeting as he sat up and raised an eyebrow at me, a little annoyed and little aroused.

"So I admit I might have a physical attraction towards you and you just get up from the bed when we could take advantage of the isolation?" Dean asked me, making sure he got it right.

I rolled my eyes and then reestablished the eye contact. "I'm physically attracted to you too, and you're a funny guy, and you handle yourself well—in all definitions and actions—but I think with more than my lust."

Dean sighed and laid back down on the bed, believing my every word—even though I didn't believe it myself. Honestly if I could just pick between them or keep my flirtatious comments to myself I would have, but I obviously couldn't and that was going to gibe me some serious trouble. It was then and there that I started to honestly take a good look at my surroundings and remind myself that I had come to be with them…and to hunt. It was totally not like me to do this to men—brothers especially—and I really didn't want to turn into a slut, so I took a deep breath and sat on the bed, Dean propping himself up on his elbows and looking at me.

"We could talk though…and maybe if we decide farther along down the road that we like each other, something could possibly escalate…" I said slowly.

Dean nodded slowly and I laid down next to him on the bed, both of us looking up at the ceiling, and we began to share random hunts with each other that we had been on. It was actually rather nice to get to know the Winchesters a little better even if it _was_ from Dean's point of view without Sam there to defend himself, and I ended up snuggling into him when he 'stealthily' scooted his body closer to mine. The warmth and the closeness was definitely welcome, and I very much wanted to stay in here and possibly go another round with the man, but I couldn't…I had to focus and use my brain since Dean wasn't using his upstairs one.

"So you're dad pretty much bred you to hunt?" I asked Dean, looking up at him as my head now lay on his chest, his steady heartbeat pounding in my ear.

He looked down at me and ran his hand along my arm as our eyes met. "Pretty basically, yes—that's why Sam went to college…to get out."

"Do you want to get out ever?" I asked him, and I knew it was much too heavy of a conversation for us, but he didn't have to answer because we heard the door, and Dean got off of Sam's bed, hurrying to the coffee table and sitting down at it as Sam came in the door and sighed loudly. "What is it, Sam?"

He looked at me wearily. "I think I found a new demon."

"Of course you did." I told him, getting off of the bed and then standing at the foot of it, leaning on the end of it and taking a deep breath. "Can I take a shower first, maybe?"

Sam smiled and nodded at me, Dean shooting me a rather witty and dirty remark, me heading into the bathroom and got into the shower. Thinking about the boys pretty much made me need to take a cold one, and once that was done, I wrapped myself in a towel and blushed when I realized I hadn't grabbed my clothes out of the duffle I needed to change into. I swear to God it wasn't a planned move, but then again Dean had already seen me naked, and I for some reason already found it easy to be around Sam, so I grabbed my brush I had put there the night before, and brushed my hair as I walked out of the bathroom.

The towel was securely in place around me and I opened up and turned on my laptop so it was booting up, my face flushing another shade of crimson as Sam blushed and Dean raked his eyes over my towel-covered body appraisingly. I hurriedly grabbed some clothes out of my duffle and went to put them on in the bathroom, Sam and Dean completely silent in the room, until I emerged and then Sam started to explain about people dying from their worst fears. Dean thought it was a little sketchy, and I kind of did as well, but Sam was so certain that there was something here that I couldn't help but humor him and his adorable puppy dog face as Dean headed into the bathroom for a quick shower.

"So these people are dying from their worst fears? How did you find that out?" I asked Sam, sitting next to him on the couch in the hotel.

He turned to me and looked me in the eye. "I was talking to this woman who's husband and daughter both died—her husband drowned, and her daughter got caught on fire and burned to death—both of those were their fears—the husband's was water, and the daughter's was fire." Sam explained to me slowly.

I nodded and bit my lip. "So it could not only be like a fear demon, but an elemental fear demon?"

"What else would it be? Aren't all fears elemental?" Dean asked, stepping out into the room, a towel wrapped around his bottom half with another towel in his hand drying off his hair.

"I suppose." I told him with a sigh. "You just have to disagree with everything I say, don't you?"

Dean nodded and then Sam stepped in before Dean could retort and said, "Some people are afraid of seran wrap."

"But you could tie that in with air." Dean told his brother, pointing a finger at him and grinning because he'd just won that argument…yeah…except he hadn't.

"But the fear itself isn't air—it is the seran wrap—so not all fears are elemental." I replied, and couldn't resist holding up my hand, grinning more when Sam in fact high-fived it like I was hoping he would.

Dean sighed and shook his head, smirking slightly as I checked out his torso. "So we need to find an elemental demon?"

I nodded, and then started to search the Internet for elemental demons, and all I found were sites for Charmed about Barbos, the Fear Demon. It made me laugh a little quietly, mainly because for some reason looking up demons and finding movies and TV shows reminded me of all the little, silly, random games Jen and I used to make up on hunts to keep ourselves entertained. Hunting was one of those things that Jen and I did because we could, and we rarely went far out of our way to stop something when we knew there were plenty of other hunters out there that could the job just as well or better than we could. Then I found an ancient legend about a man with black wings and an angelic face that preys on the fears of humans, and I decided that it was definitely a better bet than Babos, so I got up and showed the Internet page to Dean and he nodded slowly.

"Does he have a name?" Dean asked me, searching the page with his eyes.

I turned the screen back to face me and shrugged, shaking my head dismally. "If he does, I'm not finding it."

Sam sighed rather loudly from his heap of nothing in front of him too. "All right…can you call Jen and ask her if she knows anything?"

I beamed at him and dialed Jen's number, closing the top of my laptop and holding up my finger to the boys, going out of the hotel room and standing in the hall. There were things I wanted to talk to her about that weren't related to the 'hunt' at all, and I certainly didn't want the boys to be aware of how perverted I was. It had been a miracle enough to get them to bring me with them, but if they caught wind that I was seriously this close to trying to coerce them into a threesome, it would all be over right then and there and I'd be headed back to Lawrence. So when Jen picked up on the other line, I beat her to the punch line without giving her time to answer or to think.

"I had to take a cold shower today because I want to sleep with both of them _really_ bad." I told her quickly, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. "And on another note, I was supposed to call you to ask you about a hunt Sam thinks he found but we're stuck on, Miss Research-Guru."

Jen laughed at that. "Trying to butter me up you horny little freak?"

I blushed and nodded furiously. "I'm trying to butter you up _soooo_ much."

"Well I'm in the middle of solving a case of freak fires, but I guess that I can go ahead and look something up for you since you're research-impaired." Jen told me, and I laughed with her, waiting until I heard the familiar 'hey look, I've got something' sound come from her. "Okay, I know that if you're looking for elemental fear demons, you're probably looking at a sort of shape shifter, but not an actual shape-shifter because this thing though genetically different and driven, is like a…demon mimic. You can kill them by shooting them in the heart with a silver bullet, but they need to have their bodies burned, or they'll just come back."

I nodded. "All right. Thanks, babe…I love you, Jenny, you know that?"

My best friend laughed and I knew she was nodding. "I love you too, Lan."

xxxx

Our search came to a dead end, and so we went to Wisconsin, and I called Jen, and she came and hung out with me because this was her kind of gig—it dealt with water spirits, and Jen was good with those. I pretty much just knew the basics about this case because I hadn't been focusing much lately, and so I wasn't quite sure what was going on. My brain was all jumbled because I'd taken to dreaming about the Winchester brothers, and my showers were pretty much always cold these days. Jen just joked and called me a perv all the time, except when the boys were around, and then she just called me one using her eyes instead of her mouth.

"Let's see, what do _I_ know about this case?" I repeated Jen's question and then nodded slowly. "Well the victim's name was Sophie Carlton. I talked to her brother, Will, yesterday and he said he saw something drag her into the water…he was cute, let me tell you."

Jen just giggled and shook her head. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you. Ever since you lost your virginity to the man slut, you've been a little _too_ flirty. I mean flirty, yes, you always have been, but I think some of him rubbed off on you."

"And in me." I told her, both of us laughing even though she rolled her eyes at me. "Sorry…maybe you're right…that was one sick, hilarious joke that I should have kept to myself." I leaned back into the motel couch and then focused back to the task at hand. "What did you come up with?"

"I talked to the sheriff and his daughter's son, Lucas, is pretty shaken up. You see his father was one of the victims. I came back to do some research, and I found out that there have been 3 drowning victims this year, 6 more over the last 35 years, and their bodies were never recovered." Jen explained to me as I nodded and pointed to the screen on my laptop as she showed me the webpage with some articles on it about the drownings.

"It says here that Christopher was married to Andrea, and he took Lucas out swimming; Lucas was on a floating wooden platform when Chris drowned. It took 2 hours before the kid got rescued. That has to be hard." I said sadly, making a face. "That poor kid is so completely scarred right now…this mean we have to check out the creepy lake?"

Jen nodded and I sighed, getting up to grab my coat since it was nippy out, Jen still on my laptop looking up some things as I got ready to head out. That was my Jen…_always_ researching even when we got to the point where we pretty much knew what was going on and how to deal with it. She was just one of those people that beat the horse even when it was dead—nothing was too carefully planned, too researched, or too explained as far as Jen was concerned, and I loved that we differed in that way. While she relied mostly on the facts and the logic, I relied on my gut—it's what made us such a terrific crime-fighting team…if of course, you know…we _fought_ crime…

"Lan?" Jen asked me as I handed over her coat as well and asked what was up now. "It says here Will died today—I think it's a family tie."

I sighed. "Why do the hot ones always have to bite the dust?"

Jen rolled her eyes at me but couldn't help but laugh, and then she took her coat from me and we hurried to the lake to test out whatever theory was in Jen's head right then. We got there just in time to see Bill Carlton leaving, and we saw Sam and Dean and I smiled and then decided to pretend I was more interested in the lake than in them. If I was ever going to survive Jen leaving my side and not having anyone to talk to about me being a horny perv, I was going to need to learn self control where the boys were concerned.

"Wow, it's such a pretty lake…do you two come around often?" I asked, mentally chastising myself for having to slip into a joke.

Dean smiled at me though. "Only when we know beautiful women will show up. So what brings you here finally?"

I shrugged and gazed down at the water, trying to regain my position. "I just like the scenery. Jen's the one with the answers."

It was in that moment that I looked over at Jen and saw the looks that she was giving Sam, and I suddenly realized that I was jealous. She _knew_ my dilemma, but since I always complained about how I couldn't jeopardize anything by being with either of them lately, I really couldn't complain. Still, why did she have to be interested in Sam when I was interested in Sam? Wasn't that breaking some kind of non-existent best friends code or something…liking the same guy?

"You swim often?" Dean asked me, and I stopped looking between Jen and Sam and looked him in the eye.

"Nah. I just think lakes are pretty." I told him with a wink, trying to mask the feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Dean winked back and nodded. "Well it's a good thing you don't swim often, because otherwise you might drown. You know, there have been several people who have drowned lately—know anything about it, or is Jen keeping you in the dark about the details you refuse to learn?"

I looked at him and our hazel eyes met, and I smiled at him genuinely, telling myself for the umpteenth time that I was _not_ getting in the Winchesters' pants. We were simply hunters that were working together, and this whole different gender thing didn't have to be childish if we could spare. Dean stood a little bit closer to me and I sensed the tension in the air suddenly and smile a little, looking up and making direct eye contact with Sam, both of us sharing a quick smile before I turned my attention back to Dean.

"I am actually quite aware that there's a family connection? Jen didn't have to spell that one out for me." I told Dean with a big grin. So what exactly brought you guys here? Working on the same part of the case as we are? I thought we split up the different parts since there were four of us."

"Scenery." Dean answered with a shrug, he and I beaming at each other.

I nodded, raising my eyebrows up and down. "Just scenery? Not the mysterious angry spirit in the lake?"

"Well that too, but we have different sources." Sam explained and then shrugged playfully. "Besides, you know Dean—he _hates_ research."

Sam and I laughed and Jen started to explain about the Carlton's and then Dean had to point out the sheriff and he was connected to, Sam nodding. Dean had to remind us that he was just as smart as Sam was, and since Jen was picking up on my annoyance that she was flirting with Sam, she decided to just focus on the hunt. I felt kind of bad being the bitch that I was being at that particular moment, and so I took a deep breath and then decided to go ahead and close this case too.

"I think you should take a look at this and tell me just how angry this spirit is." I told Jen, trying to appeal to her and her knowledge of water spirits. "Of course we can't really tell by just looking now can we?"

"Jump in it." Jen told me.

I turned to her. "So you want me to jump in, and if I don't die, it isn't just lashing out?"

Jen nodded as she shrugged a little bit. "Pretty much…yeah."

"All right. I'm trusting you because you would never let anything truly bad happen to me." I replied, and then took my shirt off, revealing a red halter swimsuit top, and then took off my pants, jumping into the water and then surfacing and wiping the water away, treading it. "How long do you want me to stay like this?"

"Longer if you actually take your clothes off." Dean smirked, Sam smacking him in the arm as I splashed him with water and Jen turned and sat down on the edge of the pier and looked at me.

"Only a couple more moments." Jen said…because if you're gonna get naked, I want to not be here to see it.

"Oh you know you want my body!" I told her as I laughed loudly, her shrugging and laughing too as Dean made a surprised and yet pleased face. "It's kind of freezing in here, Jenny…and why aren't you coming in—besides only wanting one of us in danger in case your theory flops?"

Jen shrugged and replied, "I wasn't going to take my clothes off in front of them."

Dean and I laughed, Sam joining in only softer, and after I got out of the water and started to wring my hair out, Sam came over to double check that I was okay. We were seriously in the middle of some really messed up love square, and it was started to feel kind of juvenile, so I grasped Sam's hand to let him know I was fine, and then wrapped the towel Jen handed me around myself, standing closest to Jen. This was going to be a really interesting ride for me if I stuck it out with Sam and Dean, and I was actually looking forward to it, because I still felt connected to them.

"This spirit obviously wants revenge." I told the three of them as we looked at the lake. "And not just any kind of revenge…Lucas and Jake are in some serious trouble since they're the closest relatives."

Jen sighed loudly and nodded. "We have a job to do, then. Come on, Lan, lets get you all dried off and proper to talk to Lucas' mother."

Dean and Sam nodded and headed off to talk to her, and that was when we found out that the spirit had taken Jake the next day. The spirit was none other than Peter, a young boy that Bill and Jake had accidentally killed when they were younger, and it would no longer terrorize anyone. All it wanted was its revenge and once Jake was dead, there was no one else to lash out at, and the spirit could rest in peace.

"Well I need to be getting home then." Jen told us as we all stood near the Impala. "That was fun, and I feel like I helped, and so I need to go home now."

"Why?" Sam asked her after a moment. "I mean you're a valued part of our strange new team."

Jen smiled at him and shook her head. "My parents—they expect me home soon, and I'm the only thing they have left. I have to be with them, and honestly I don't like hunting so much…I only do it when I have to cause it's close to me, or when Lan asks me to help."

Sam nodded and gave her a soft smile. "I understand."

I hugged Jen and then turned to the boys. "I'm going to see her off, and meet you back at the motel—don't turn down the covers without me."

**Note: No, Lana is not a whore…re-writing just made them all hornier, and I have NO idea where it came from…chapter three soon! =D**


	3. Flying High on More Than Lust

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I think this re-write is going rather well, and I fell even MORE in love with Lana and Dean this time around.**

**Didn't think it could happen, but they grew on me even more.**

**Hope you enjoy it!**

**=P**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

xxxx

I watched Dean as he slept because sleep was evading me and I was kind of a crazy stalker…I mean not really exactly but there was nothing better to do and Sam was out getting coffee. Dean was wearing boxers and a dark T-shirt, and he was absolutely adorable, his sandy brown hair all mussed up and his mouth open a little, but Dean Winchester didn't drool. I just sat on Sam's and my bed across from Dean, and looked up as Sam came in, and Dean reached under his pillow his eye opening as his sense went alert.

"Morning Sunshine!" Sam said, handing me coffee as he spoke to Dean.

I beamed at the tall, attractive Winchester and grasped the coffee cup. "Thank you."

Dean grunted and turned over. "What time is it?"

"Oh it's like 5:45." I replied, sipping my coffee happily.

Dean made a noise and looked at Sam and I surprised. "In the morning?"

"Yep." Sam replied with a nod and a shrug.

Dean looked at both Sam and I and I knew he was concerned, and he really should have been even though Sam and I were trying to hide it. Sam and I had been staying up late and talking since he kept having nightmares, and we'd started to hammer out a few things about this 'relationship' of ours. He was attracted to me, and I to him, but he was lonely since Jessica's death was still so fresh to him, and I was definitely already way too attached to the hunters that had accepted me into their lives. It didn't mean we wouldn't pursue our attraction if we thought it was worth it when we'd known each other a little longer…it just meant we'd be more aware.

"Did you two sleep last night?" Dean asked, sitting up. "Or did you have another bonding pow-wow of talking and groping?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sam I don't sit up all night and grope each other…we sit up all night and care and share and sometimes I let him braid my hair."

Sam chuckled as Dean grinned at me and then Dena and I broke contact when Sam sat down next to me on the bed, our thighs rubbing together since he sat so close. Over the last couple weeks Dean actually hadn't seemed annoyed at all by Sam's and my closeness, but in that moment I saw the glint of jealousy in his eyes and then it was gone just like that, and he and I were making eye contact again. Sam was completely oblivious to it and that was fine with me—I really didn't want to have to deal with some insane love triangle that could ruin everything I was finally creating by keeping my hormones in check.

"So you two didn't sleep then?" Dean asked us and he was slightly annoyed.

Sam chuckled and I smiled. "You know, it's nice you're concerned but—"

"—Oh I'm not concerned. You're asses are keeping me alive, so I need you both sharp." Dean told him, cocking an eyebrow.

"Dean…" I began sternly after sipping my coffee.

Dean shrugged and looked at us. "Seriously, when was the last time you got a decent night's sleep? Sam's been having nightmares, and you don't ever sleep a whole night through, Lana."

I shrugged too as Sam looked to me for support. "Sam and I can function just fine the way that we are, thank you very much. Now Sam, hand the man his coffee and explain to him that we don't spook easy."

Sam laughed and did as I said, Dean smirking at his obedience. Honestly I was already rather cozy with the two, and it was definitely the best time I'd ever had in my life. My life had been rough, and so had theirs, and our little adventure together was putting us all in rather fantastic moods, that showed through our hunting. It was nice to be able to hunt like this and not have to worry about what was going to happen when we moved on—we were always going to have each other, even if I was the new addition to the team.

"It's not just the nightmares, Dean…it's everything. I forgot about this, you know? This job gets to you." Sam admitted.

I frowned. "That is really _not_ what I told you to tell him."

Sam shrugged and nudged my ribs playfully with his elbow. "Yeah, but it's the truth."

Dean sipped his coffee. "Well you can't let it. You can't bring it home like that."

"You mean you never get afraid?" Sam asked him, me raising an eyebrow at Dean as he shrugged.

"No, not really." Dean replied as he sipped more coffee.

Sam nodded slowly as I gave Dean a look, both of us not willing to believe that he could be in this profession and _not_ let a certain amount of it get to him. Sighing, Sam reached over and slipped his hand under Dean's pillow, a little hint of tenseness rising up in Dean as he tried not to let the motion get to him. I was a little confused, but then I couldn't help but crack a smile when Sam pulled a knife out from under Dean's pillow. He then proceeded to hold it up and Dean looked for the words to say and I laughed.

"That's not fear. It's precaution." Dean said, and I giggled more as he said it.

"Whatever." Sam replied with a laugh. "I'm too tired to argue with you."

"And I'm just too tired in general." I admitted, yawning and then frowning. "Maybe we should start getting me more shots in my coffee."

Dean laughed loudly. "No thank you—you get rather cheeky when you have lots of caffeine in you, Lana."

I winked at him. "I'm cheeky all the time…coffee must flow through my veins."

Dean probably would have had some sort of comeback to say to that, but his cell phone rang and Dean leaned over to pick it up as I set up my laptop. Mostly I just wanted to see if Jen was online so that I could vent some of my much needed frustration about the tension lately out without having to talk to the boys about it, but that wasn't going to happen because she was sleeping…lucky her. I was just going to have to try and keep the flirting down, and I smiled when Dean told us that the guy on the phone was some guy that Dean and his dad helped a couple years back, and we had to get dressed and go to some plane place for a hunt.

"I'm tired." I pouted as I went to grab my jacket.

Dean leaned in, his face close to mine as he grabbed his jacket from behind me. "Well you should have slept more."

"Yeah?" I asked egging him on and practically begging for a kiss by looking at his lips.

Dean nodded and bit his lip, smirking at the desired effect that it had on me when I moaned a little and then put a cork in it. He was doing this on purpose to get a rise out of me, and I was trying so hard not to have any of it. So what if Dean Winchester was hot? So what if Sam Winchester was also hot? I was the third wheel to the hot fest, and I needed to keep my hormones under control and deal with this in a much more professional hunting way.

"I believe we have a job to do." Sam told us as he rolled his eyes a little.

I couldn't help but blush a little as Dean smiled and then we headed out in the car to meet up with the man. The man talked to us about the poltergeist that Dean and his father helped to get rid of, and then he said he was happy to see Sam because his father had talked about him a lot, and he was happy to meet me, because anyone who did our kind of work for other people was worth knowing. He took us into a room and put in a CD, telling us that he wasn't normally able to get a hold of things like this, but he thought it was up our alley.

"It's the pilot in the cockpit of the United Britannia Airlines, Flight 24-85. It was one of ours." The man said as it played.

We sat there listening, and after the man talking, we heard the scream of a being—this was definitely our thing. It certainly wasn't just some normal flight and I was rather excited that we were going to be doing a hunt. I wanted to focus on something I was good at, and try really hard to keep myself on track doing something that was going to benefit others. In fact, wasn't that the whole point of having hunters? To defeat monsters and to keep the public out of it so they could go on with their normal lives? I have simply lost my way, and now I was going to get back what I had lost.

"Jerry, we're going to need passenger manifests, a list of survivors—" Sam began.

"—and can we see the wreckage?" Dean and I asked at once.

Jerry nodded and said he could get us the rest of the stuff, but he didn't have the kind of clearance we needed to see the wreckage because everything had been locked down. Dean drove us to get fake ids, and Sam and I waited outside by the car and I realized that no matter how hard I tried, I was going to be attracted. The only difference now was that I felt a lot more in control of myself, even as I smelled the fabulous smell that was Sam Winchester.

"So how are you?" I asked Sam honestly.

Sam shrugged and we made eye contact. "A little antsy I suppose."

I nodded. "Me too. This could be something big…but I really meant how are you with the nightmares and the coping?"

Sam nodded and smiled a little. "It's a lot easier with you here, honestly, Lan. Dean doesn't really understand it, and it's nice to know there's someone else I can talk to who you know…has a heart."

"I'm glad I can help, Sam." I replied, and reached up to stroke his hair.

We were having a moment, and then even though Dean came out and got a look on his face that he wiped off, he came over to us. I slowly pulled my fingers out of Sam's soft locks—even though I didn't want to—and I took the fake ID that he gave me when he gave Sam one too. We both looked at the IDs and then Sam sighed and Dean gave him a look because he'd gone to lengths to get them. Still, it was kind of a place I hadn't really been before seeing as how Sam and Dean were much better at this hunting thing than I was…seeing as how they were more experienced.

"This is really illegal. Even for us." Sam said as he looked at Dean.

I took a deep breath. "So even really experienced hunters don't do this really? I hought this was hella illegal."

"Yeah, well it's something new. You know people haven't seen it a thousand times. So what do you got?" Dean asked us.

Sam and I were supposed to be looking over the cockpit message and Sam had definitely found something—a hidden message. With further research Sam and I had found that there had been histories of demons and spirits connected to boats and planes, and we decided to visit the survivors—starting with a man named Max that was in a psychiatric hospital. They were the only sure fire way for us to figure out what was going on, and how to solve this hunt once and for all.

"You checked yourself in here, why?" Dean asked Max, but Max didn't want to talk about it.

"Can you tell us what you thought you saw? Please?" Sam asked him as Dean was being sent chastising looks for making him feel bad he was delusional—or so he said he was.

Max took a deep breath. "I saw this man with these um…eyes—these black eyes—and he um…I saw him—I thought I saw him—open the emergency hatch. But that's impossible right? I looked it up and there's like two tons of weight there."

I tried to be as sweet as possible to Max because he was so scarred, and once we'd gotten all of the information out of him that we could, we headed to talk to the wife of the man that was thought to have caused the crash. His name was George Phelps and we were very certain he had been possessed by a demon, and so this was going to be one of those cases where we had to figure out the connection before it was too much. Since George was dead now, the demon was going to have to find another body to inhabit to strike again…unless it was done.

"Man, I don't care how strong you are. Even if you're on PCP, no one can open an emergency door in the middle of a flight." Dean said out loud and looked at me as I laughed. "What now, Lana?"

I waved it off as I kept laughing. "It's just that in Buffy that's what they also pin on the vampire killings."

Dean laughed too. "Yeah, you're right...and I stick by my statement."

Sam laughed loudly. "Not if you're human anyway, guys—that demon ripped off a whole door of a plane in flight."

"I really need coffee. So sorry to make you guys do this alone, but I seriously am tired, and if I don't get a pick-me-up, I might die." I told them as we began to head for the freshly widowed Mrs. Phelps' house.

Dean smirked. "Well if you wait, I could _be_ your pick-me-up."

I smirked back but shook my head. "You have a job to do. I'll help—I just need to walk to that café and get myself a latte. When I get back, I'll help you all I can…besides, Winchester…the whore isn't in right now."

Dean laughed while Sam shook his head and laughed too, me heading to the café the next block over and ordering a large latte. I paid the barista and she smiled at me and then I gave a little wave and a tip and headed back to the Impala. It seemed that Sam and Dean were done with their little talk, and I was fine with that—I had taken my sweet time to get back to think about the hunt—yeah, I know, unbelievable. Grinning, I smiled at the boys and then Dean was the first to talk to me when I got up to the car.

"We're going to the NTSP Warehouse." Dean told me with a smile.

I nodded and sipped my coffee. "Cool."

"But first we have to look the part." Sam explained.

I raised an eyebrow but agreed that we needed to dress the part, and the three of us went to 'Mort's for Style', and had to get suits. I changed in the car as Sam and Dean went inside to get some suits fitted and then I tried rather hard to fix my hair and to try and get my skirt to be longer—which probably wasn't going to happen. So I was pretty much stuck in my blouse and my short skirt, and I needed to find my heels. I got distracted from putting them on though as Sam and Dean came out in suits—let me tell you, the boys looked _amazing_ in suits.

"I look like one of the Blue's Brothers." Dean complained.

"No you don't. You look more like a seventh grader at his first dance." Sam said.

I smiled and laughed a little as I came out of the car in my white button-up blouse tucked into my black skirt that was tighter than it used to be on top of being kind of short—it stopped above my knees, and I was in the middle of pulling on the jacket that matched the skirt when Dean finished looking at himself and looked at his brother. Neither of them had noticed me yet and I was actually okay with that even though my hair was doing the flippy thing that made me look so much more attractive than I normally did. Yes, I was freaking vain, and I was kind of wanting to stand next to them and make some joke about how hot the three of us were.

"I hate these things." He said, and began towards the car, but stopped when he saw me. "Wow."

I blushed. "Oh, it's nothing. May I say you two make those suits look good?"

Dean smiled and looked me up and down. "I have to take it back—these things look great on her—the skirt is definitely the best touch of all of it I have to say…and the heels accent your legs."

I smiled and blushed, and then we all got into the car, and I wished I hadn't been tongue-tied because I wanted to have a comeback. There were so many things that I could say about his cheekiness, but at the same time I really just wanted to take the compliment…it had after all come from Dena Winchester. He had somewhat meant for it to be a compliment that had nothing to do with getting into my pants, and as I thought about it, Dean drove us to the warehouse and we flashed our fake ids and went to look at the wreckage. It was amazing—mainly because I'd never seen plane wreckage this close and personal before.

"What is that?" Sam asked his brother as Dean put headphones in his ears.

Dean showed it to his brother. "It's an EMF meter. It reads Electromagnetic Frequencies."

"Yeah, I know what an EMF meter is. Why does it look like a busted up walkman?" Sam asked as I giggled a little and began to walk ahead.

"Because that's what I made it out of. It's homemade." Dean said happily, smiling.

"Yeah. I can see that." Sam said, and I turned because the smile had been wiped off of Dean's face since he said it like he disapproved.

I snorted with laughter though. "Ah, honey, I'm glad you made something with your own two hands. Try it here."

Dean winked at me and my support and brought it over to the emergency door handles, and then Sam scraped off some of the stuff. It was pretty obviously not ectoplasm—it was definitely sulfur, which told us that demon possession was certainly real. W had proof now, but we heard someone coming and hid outside and ran for the car as the alarm went off. We had to jump a fence—which in a skirt sucks—and then ran the rest of the way to the car, and drove over to give the sample to Jerry.

"This stuff is covered in sulfur." Jerry told us as he looked at us.

Dean nodded slowly. "Hmm. There's not too many things that leave a sulfur residue."

"This is big—a demon possessing people to take down an airplane." I nodded as I took a deep breath, Dean nodding as well, and I took off my jacket and unbuttoned my first two buttons, making him smile over at me and I rolled my eyes, but smiled too. "It's not the coolest in here, all right?"

"You might want to button that back up—he's getting a look." Sam told me as I smiled and nodded, and buttoned up my shirt and put the jacket back on.

"Books, books, books." I said as Sam and Dean researched.

"You want to help?" Dean asked me as I randomly looked things up on the computer.

It had been a while since I had truly been in research mode, and lately Sam had been pretty much doing all of the research on his own, and I was simply helping. When Dean shot the question in my direction though, I looked at him from the bed, and agreed with Sam's idea that the Japanese were onto something thinking that each disaster happened with a demon behind it. It was big, and not our normal gig, and somehow the three of us were going to have to stop whatever was going down so that no one else got hurt.

"I wish Dad was here." Dean said, scratching his head.

"Yeah…me too." Sam replied.

I smiled at them sadly. "Hey…eventually we'll find him, we just…we have other things to do right now—other people to protect."

Sam smiled at me as I said it and I smiled back, Dean's phone ringing so he answered it and I broke the eye contact with Sam. It was one of those things now where it was really easy to connect to them, but that was as far as it was going…that was as far as I was going to let it go. We both looked at Dean as we heard that there was another plane crash, and soon Dean had us heading out to Nazareth, and I was getting hungry again because of things I wasn't really to reveal about myself to the Winchester's quite yet.

"All right. I'll grab the food and you two just get in the car." I told them both as I shut the top of my laptop.

"You are strange today." Dean said while Sam nodded.

Sam shut his laptop too. "Yeah…you going to be all right."

"Guys, I'm fine." I told them softly.

I shrugged as I grabbed the food and headed out to the car, and then I went with them to get stuff from the wreckage and then we found out there was also sulfur on it when we took it back to Jerry. We found out that it was using a biblical number—40—to record death. Normally there were no survivors, and each crash happened 40 minutes in, but now—now it was going after all of the survivors of the crash we had been called out here to investigate for. Dean assured us we would make it to the airport before the next flight, but Sam was certain that even with Dean's driving we wouldn't make it because it was a five hour drive.

"We'll make it." Dean tried to tell us, but when we got there, even Dean speeding into a parking space didn't seem like it was going to help us.

"Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, Dean! We're about to walk into an airport?" He told his brother, both of them looking at each other questioningly before Dean went to the trunk of the car and then emptied himself of his weapons and then shut the trunk before turning to us.

"I feel naked." He said, and then we followed him in.

I was finding it rather packed inside the airport, and told Dean to page Amanda Walker—one of the only survivors of the last crash—and Sam agreed with me. He seemed to be doing pretty well too, except that by the end Amanda was pretty sure that it was all a prank and hung up on him. It was pretty much our plan and with Dean all upset, Sam and I were the only ones that were even thinking clearly.

"Damn it! I was so close!" Dean exclaimed.

Sam nodded and then he shrugged. "All right. It's time for plan B. We're getting on that plane."

"W—W—now, just hold on a second." Dean said and I noted that there was suddenly some fear in his voice I'd never heard before.

"Dean we have to." I protested earnestly.

"Dean, that plane is leaving with over a hundred passengers on board, and if we're right," Sam paused to quiet himself, "that plane is going to crash."

"I know." Dean told his brother, still terrified of something.

"Well, okay. Then we're getting on that plane, we need to find that demon, and exorcise it. Look, I'll get the tickets, you get whatever you can out of the car—whatever will make it through security and meet me back here in five minutes. Are you okay?" Sam asked concerned Dean was looking a little pale.

"No. Not really." Dean told him.

I studied Dean's face and tried to figure out where the sudden fear was coming from because I'd never seen him like this before. It was actually kind of attractive to see that Dean Winchester was in fact afraid of things, but at the same time Sam and I needed him to be at his best so we could get this done. So I reached out and squeezed his hand even though we were in public and he let me do just that…hold his hand.

"What is it Dean? What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Well I kind of have this problem with um—" Dean made a motion with his hand and then stopped and looked ashamed.

Sam looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "Flying?"

"Well it's never really been an issue until now." Dean protested as he looked at the look on his brother's face.

Sam laughed a little. "You're joking, right?"

"Do I look like I'm joking? Why do you think I drive everywhere Sam?" Dean asked in an annoyed voice.

I didn't know why exactly I found Dean Winchester so incredibly attractive right then and there, but I was pretty sure it was the adorable look he made when he was freaked out. I knew that with some of the irrational fears I had that I had never brought up to them, I shouldn't make fun that he was afraid of planes when there was a real threat to them, but part of me was also rather wanting to laugh. Besides, wouldn't you hug Dean Winchester too if he was standing there in front of you making adorable faces and running his fingers through his hair?

Sam looked concerned. "All right. Uh—I'll go."

"What?" Dean asked him like he hadn't heard him properly and I myself was kind of wondering how that was going to work as well.

"I'll do this one on my own." Sam told him with a shrug.

"What are you, nuts? You said it yourself—the plane is going to crash." Dean said frantically as I realized I couldn't let Sam go on a plane with a demon alone.

"Look Dean, we can do it together, I can do this one by myself—I'm not seeing a third option here." Sam said in voice that was growing impatient.

I looked from Dean to Sam. "I could go with you."

"Come on! Really? Man." Dean said, physically looking nervous as ever.

He really didn't want us to go on our own, but it was pretty obvious to him at that point that we were going to do this with or without him. We didn't want to, but if Dean wasn't going to put his feet down on the plane, then I was going to have to go with Sam. It was too dangerous to let Sam go on his own when an exorcism needed to be done, and I really wanted to be there for my adorable puppy, so Dean would have to stay here on his own and be safe while Sam and I did our job.

"It's okay. I'll be there too. And I mean free peanuts—it doesn't get better than that. I'll meet you on the plane—go watch the next victim." I tried to assure Dean.

I was turning to go when Dean took my hand and I turned around and looked him in the eye. For the first time since Dean and I had met, the look in his eyes had been genuine and true…had honestly been pleading. I wanted to melt right then and there as my knees buckled a little underneath me, but tried to stay strong as his thumb ran over my hand and Sam watched us. It just felt so natural for her hand to be in his and his eyes to be locked on hers, and she couldn't stop looking at him.

"Please don't go." He told me.

I had never wanted to kiss Dean more than right then, but I decided not to and I just smiled and stepped up closer to him. He wanted someone to stay with him, but I was kind of wishing that he would see that Sam needed me on that plane with him more than he needed me on the ground with him. Deep down I knew that he knew that, but he was pretty much also being a little selfish and wanted the hot girl to himself—I _did_ mention earlier that I was a little vain, sorry.

"All right, Dean. We'll stay together on this one, but that means you have to come with us. I love flying, so let's let Sam get the tickets, and we'll meet him back here." I told him softly, his face a little closer to mine.

Sam nodded, and Dean and I got what we could out of the car and then rushed back to get on the plane. We walked down the aisle and went to pick some seats, Sam stealing the window seat, and we let Dean have the aisle seat so that I could sit in the middle between them. Dean shook just a little bit when Sam looked over at him and I took Dean's hand again and suddenly felt a little like I had before when I thought about mine and Dean's connection to each other—I felt like this was natural and something I was always meant to do…be there for him when he needed someone.

"Just try to relax." Sam told him.

"Just try to shut up." Dean shot back.

I laughed a little and then caught our flight attendant's attention. "Could I get some peanuts over here?"

"You and peanuts." Dean muttered.

"Keeps my mind off of the flight. Gum?" I asked him, but he shook his head at me. "Seriously—it'll help when your ears pop." I said.

Sam and Dean both refused the gum though, and I had to wait for the peanuts until after the plane took off. I wasn't certain what the deal was with the refusing the gum since it really did help and Dean needed all the help he could get, especially when the plane actually took off. Dean looked very uncomfortable, and since I was right there next to him to comfort him and Sam had stolen my window seat, I really only had Dean to pay attention to. For some reason I really wanted focus attention on him, and he seemed to be all right with that even though he was still really freaked out by the whole thing. He gave me a look and tried to smile but it was hidden by the fear in his eyes and he started to hum, which made Sam laugh.

"You humming Metallica?" Sam asked him, highly amused.

"Calms me down." Dean said quickly, humming some more as I smiled at him.

Sam nodded. "Look man, I get you're nervous all right, but you gotta stay focused."

"Okay." Dean answered.

"I mean we got, thirty minutes and counting and track it down and perform a full exorcism." Sam added.

"Yeah, on a crowded plane." Dean told him unhappily.

I sighed a little and nodded. "It's going to possess someone that's a little messed up—maybe mental or something."

Dean knew that Sam and I were only trying to help, but it was pretty obvious that he needed to be up and about instead of just sitting there. So he nodded vigorously and looked at Sam and I as we tried to make sure that he was actually going to be of help with this, and then Dean seemed to have his mind made up.

"I'll go check on her mental state." Dean said, looking back at Amanda.

"Let's be subtle. If she's possessed, she'll flinch at the name of God." Sam told him.

"Good one." Dean said, unbuckling and getting up.

"Hey!" Sam called in a hushed voice.

Dean stopped and leaned over a little, me glad his face was so close. "What?"

Sam looked at him hard. "Say it in Latin."

"I know." Dean told him in a rather annoyed voice.

"Okay. Hey!" Sam called again in the same hushed voice, as Dean asked him 'what' again and leaned over since his trek back there had been interrupted again. "In Latin it's 'Christo'."

"Dude, I know, I'm not an idiot!" Dean said, and got up to walk, just as there was turbulence.

I laughed a little bit and Sam and I looked back to make sure that Dean was going to be all right even though he was seriously antsy. For some reason even though I'd been flirting with both of them, it was becoming rather obvious to me as the jealousy settled in my stomach that Dean was the one I wanted to call my own. It was probably because I went and got attached to him when he broke my hymen, but he also seemed like he needed someone as much as I did, and I wanted to understand the Winchesters like no one else did…which meant to a certain extent they would need to understand me too.

"Think he's flirting with her?" I asked Sam suddenly. "She is actually rather attractive."

Sam smiled and looked at me. "He knows what to do…are you jealous?"

I rolled my eyes. "Why would I be jealous when I'm just a business partner?"

Sam really didn't believe me anymore than I believed myself, but I put on a rather practiced face and looked up as Dean came back. He didn't look as scared, but he still had that masked terror in his hazel irises and I wanted to make the pain go away, so I reached my hand out and he took it without realizing what he was doing and looked directly at Sam. It was nice…holding the strong, worn hand of the hunter in my own less experienced hand, and I swallowed as he began to speak.

"Okay, well she's got to be the most well adjusted creature on the planet." Dean said, and told us there was no demon in her or getting in her—and that meant it could be anyone—and then the turbulence got worse and Dean freaked out a little more. "Oh come on! That can't be normal!" Dean exclaimed softly.

"Hey, hey—it's just a little turbulence." Sam said calmly.

Dean's eyes flashed angrily. "Sam, this plane is going to crash okay, so quit treating me like I'm freaking four!"

"You need to calm down." Sam said softly.

"Well I'm sorry I can't!" Dean replied hostilely.

"Yes you can." Sam said calmly.

I was starting to feel the tension between the two a lot more than I had been feeling it before, and I was starting to squirm a little myself. There was no way that it was good for Dean to be freaking out this much, and Sam and I knew it and it was Sam's place to talk to him about it and not mine. Dean and Sam were practically my family now but Sam was actually Dean's brother and so I let them hash it out a little.

"Dude, stow the touchy-feely, self-help, yoga crap—it's not helping!" Dean was saying as Sam started to interrupt him.

"Dean, if you're panicked you're wide open for demonic possession so you need to calm yourself down right now." Sam said sternly but lovingly.

I nodded at Dean and he sighed. "Sam's right, Dean…just take some deep breaths—Sam and I won't let anything happen to you, and I think you know that."

I rested my head on Dean's shoulder and held his hand, stroking his skin with my fingers as Sam explained the two parts of the exorcism. First, we had to get the demon out of the body of the victim and then it would manifest and that would make it strong enough to wreak havoc on its own, and then the second part would send it back to Hell once and for all. That meant that we were going to have to figure out who the demon was going to possess and we were going to have to figure it out rather quickly.

"So are you going to be okay finding the demon?" I asked Dean as I lifted my head off of his shoulder and looked at him fondly. "I care about you, you know?"

Dean smiled and then _he_ kissed _me_, and I found the butterflies erupting in my stomach. I hadn't initiated the touching of our lips, but I definitely wasn't going to push him off just because I was set on being platonic. He was thanking me in his own 'Dean' way and I was going to let him because his lips were soft and warm, and I had wanted to kiss him so many times today. Then when he was done he had to make my stomach go insane and run his nose along mine softly and look me in the eye.

"I'm going to be fine, Lana…thank you." He whispered.

I just nodded and then couldn't resist kissing him again. "You're welcome."

Dean smiled at me but stopped his hand mid-raise to stroke my hair since Sam was watching us rather closely. When the blush rose in my cheeks, Dean pulled away and suggested we look around, Dean heading around with his homemade EMF meter, and I sat in my seat, looking things up in the documents I had saved to my laptop since I couldn't access the Internet while in flight. I looked up at them a little while into our tasks and saw them in the aisle, instantly knowing that something was up and trying to figure out what it was. I got up and went over to them just in time to see a man turn as Dean said 'Christo', and his eyes were black.

"Oh sweet baby Jesus." I said and followed the boys to go and talk to Amanda.

Sam sighed loudly. "She's not going to believe this."

"There's only twelve minutes, now." Dean told him. "It's this or we all die, Sammy."

When we got back there to see the poor girl, Sam and Dean explained to Amanda that something was wrong and then she said she would help us because we seemed sincere. She went to go and get the co-pilot, and we waited for her and when she came back, Sam and Dean attacked the man to exorcise the demon, and I went to make sure that Amanda was going to be okay. This was a lot for her to take in, and the boys had just effectively attacked a man that she was pretty sure didn't deserve to be attacked…even when things started to go all supernatural on her.

"This is a lot to take in, huh?" I asked her calmly.

Amanda nodded. "I just—what are they doing?"

"Exorcising a demon." I whispered and she looked at me wide-eyed. "Yeah. Crazy. I know. But you saw what the holy water did to his body and you can't tell me that was what you would call normal."

Before we could do anymore talking, the plane began to plummet, and Amanda and I held onto things, and then I made my way back to where Dean was and I planted myself up against the wall near him. He needed some support since this was one of his greatest fears, and since it was ingrained in me practically now to watch over him, I was going to go down with him if we were going to die…but Sam finished the exorcism. Then, as the plane began to regain itself, Dean looked less like he was going to throw up, and I stroked his cheek with my hand.

"You all right?" I asked.

Dean just hugged me to him, and when he pulled away, he kissed me and though confused and surprised, I returned it and pressed my body close to his to let him know that I enjoyed the new closeness. I knew he didn't have the words yet, but I was all right with that because I felt like this was just something he and I had to deal with together and we were going to get through everything that was thrown our way. He went to look through the curtains at Sam, and then shook his head—he was very unhappy and we were all worried about what was going to be said when we got off of the plane.

xxxx

Lucky for us, Amanda would keep our secret, and so we began to go for the exit once we were back in an airport because Dean wanted out of here, and Sam didn't look so good because the demon had said something about Jessica. Dean told him it was all just a lie the demon came up with because demons can read minds, and Sam said he believed, but I knew part of him didn't. Demons had a way of being almost too convincing, and I had known quite a few of them personally that had a way of telling you just enough truth to get you interested and then getting away before you could get the rest of it.

Dwelling on different things, we went to talk to Jerry who was very proud of us, and then we went to go and get on with it. Sam and Dean were both wishing that their father was there and I knew I was one poor substitute for him, but that they needed me for a completely different reason—and sex had nothing to do with it. So as I leaned on the trunk of the Impala with Dean and Sam, Dean in the middle, I squeezed Dean's hand as he and Sam leaned their heads together and put Dean's phone on speaker so we could hear John's voicemail message even though Sam was certain we'd get nothing.

"This is John Winchester. I can't be reached. If this is an emergency, call my son Dean. 866-907-3235. He can help." The message said.

Dean hung up the phone as Sam got teary eyed, and then Sam stopped leaning on the trunk of the car, and Dean sat there for a moment. I looked at him and then took Sam's spot and Dean looked over at me as Sam got into the car rather hurt and upset. Neither of them wanted to talk about how their father had reactivated his number and never tried to contact them, and I wasn't about to force them to open up about anything. I knew better than anyone else that sometimes keeping things to yourself meant that you could figure them out and explain them better later when it was a better moment to come clean.

"You're never going on a plane again as long as you live, are you?" I asked him with a smile on my face.

He smiled and shook his head. "Not unless you're there with me."

I blushed a little and looked at Dean softly. "I kind of like seeing the softer side of you, you know?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Well the softness only lasts so long, Lana."

"Yeah, I'm aware." I told him with a laugh and then I stroked his cheek. "It would be nice to see it a little more when we're alone though."

Dean winked at me as I said it and we both went to get into the Impala, the voicemail on both of their minds as we headed to the nearest motel to stop off. Still rather upset, Sam headed out to grab a bite to eat and to think, and I sat on the end of the bed I was going to share with Sam and I looked up at Dean and he glanced over at me as he ran his fingers through his hair. He didn't want to have a chick flick moment with me at all, but at the same time I could tell how desperately he wanted to talk about what had happened between the two of us on the plane and in the airport, and I wanted to talk about it too.

"So…you really care that much about me?" Dean asked me.

I nodded and shrugged. "Yeah…I consider you and Sam my family. I mean I know it's soon and I'm too attached but…I have you guys' backs and I know that you guys have mine. Isn't that the way it's supposed to be?"

Dean nodded and walked over to me. "Yeah…but demons see getting attached a sign of weakness. Sooner or later one of them is going to find out and use our ties against us—there is a reason I warned you not to get attached."

I stood up and put my hands in my back pockets, looking him in the eye. "Just admit that having someone else to back you up is pleasant, Dean."

Dean replied to that by kissing me, and this time I was definitely more caught off guard than any other time that I had been lip-locked by Dean Winchester. This time the kiss was needy, and the second his fingers slipped into my hair, I wrapped my arms around his neck and I found myself completely caving to him even though I'd been so sure that I wouldn't. He needed the comfort and I wanted to give it to him, even though I was so certain that I could make my way through this without getting romantically involved again, no matter my crushes.

"What are we doing?" I asked him suddenly because I didn't know when to shut my mouth.

He smiled at me and ran his nose against mine. "I believe we're kissing."

I smiled too and kissed him again. "I meant where is this going, Dean? I mean what is this between us? Are we more than some one-night stand, or are you simply in need of a more physical release of your emotional tension?"

Dean stroked my hair. "I refuse to get mushy here, but…this is gratitude for what you did for me today, Lana…you were there for me when you could have just laughed in my face."

"Well it's not like I didn't laugh at you at one point or another." I told him playfully and giggled a little as he rolled his eyes and stopped me with a kiss. "You're welcome by the way."

Dean chuckled and the sound and the way his body shuddered when the sound rumbled out of his body pretty much made my decision for me. Besides, as his hands traveled down my sides, I pretty much found that my own body felt like it needed to be with his, so I tugged on his hair a little and felt him smile into the kiss. He slipped his fingers up a little underneath my shirt and stroked my bare stomach and I gasped a little as I felt his hand slip down into my pants and when I nodded and whispered his name in pleading he slipped his hand out and started unbuttoning his buttons.

I pulled my shirt off and undid my jeans, pushing them off and lying back on Dean's bed as Dean shed the button-up and then the t-shirt, getting his jeans off as well. Then he slipped his boxers off as I got my panties and my bra off and I smiled as he rested his naked body against mine and kissed me slowly and softly this time. I had no idea before just how caring and considerate that Dean Winchester could be, but he knew it was really only my second time and he was going to make it worth my while since I was caving to him. He knew more about me already than I thought that he had, and so when he looked me in the eye and I nodded and wrapped my legs around him, he cupped my face and kissed me, biting my bottom lip as he pushed his flesh inside of mine after a little while.

I gasped and then moaned and Dean chuckled a little and told me I was beautiful and I really couldn't do anything but give in as our bodies started to move to the same rhythm. He didn't seem to want to take much this time like he had the first time, but it was definitely still just sex for the two of us, even though the kisses were starting to mean something a little more…even if neither of us knew what yet. This wasn't just him showing his appreciation, this was him needing a release and I was willing to give it to him because for some reason I was falling for him. Wait a second…bad confession Lana—bad.

"We should really shower and everything before Sam comes back." I managed to breathe out when we'd both reached the breaking point a couple times and were too exhausted to go again. "He certainly doesn't want to see _your_ naked ass when he walks in, and I think the nakedness may make him uncomfortable sleeping in the bed next to us."

Dean looked at me as his wet body rested against mine and he smiled a little. "So you're going to sleep in _my_ bed this time?"

I smiled a little at the happiness in his voice and nodded. "Unless you want me to sleep in Sam's…"

Dean shook his head and kissed me swiftly. "You're welcome in my bed any time."

"Good to know." I whispered and kissed him again because I couldn't help it and he kept it soft and caring.

Then I pulled back and the two of us went to get a shower in before Sam got back and for the first night in a very long time, I feel asleep in Dean's arms…and I felt like that was where I was supposed to be. It was a little strange, but at the same time it felt right to be snuggled up against his warm body, and I wondered suddenly what this was going to mean because Dean was right—eventually these bonds would be used against us and I didn't know if I could handle that. I didn't want to see the Winchester's hurt…which meant I was going to need to come clean to them about myself.


	4. A Little Acceptance

**WARNING: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

xxxx

Sex with Dean Winchester…sex with Dean Winchester…that's pretty much all you get out of it. I want to tell you that I woke up snuggled in his arms and feeling like it was my place to be beside him, but not so much…I woke up to Sam typing on his laptop. Dean had already gone out to bring us back some diner food, and Sam was kind of ignoring me, like he knew what had happened the night before. Still, I adored Sam, so I got out of the bed I'd shared with Dean the night before and sat on the edge of his.

He surprised me by looking at me and smiling that dazzling smile of his and I couldn't help but smile back at him. Turning the laptop towards me, I noticed that Sam was trying to track his father down by any means possible and I admired his persistence. The only reason that the two of them had even decided to band together again after all of these years was because John was missing, and now he seemed fine…but didn't want to be found. That didn't sit well with either Sam _or_ Dean, but Sam was more upset about it than Dean was.

"I guess we keep going then, huh?" I asked him. "Where exactly did your brother go?"

Sam shrugged a little. "He was hungry. Would you like to get some coffee before we head out?"

I smiled at him. "You know me pretty damn well already don't you, Sammy?"

Honestly at first I thought Sam was going to get on my case for calling him that, and I hadn't meant to, but he seemed rather happy about it. I guess I was enough a part of their little family that I was allowed to call him by a nickname now. To be fair, Sam had been the first one to call _me_ by a nickname, and until Dean called me by one, I wouldn't be completely part of their little 'club'.

"I think I know you well enough." Sam replied with a grin, Dean waltzing into the motel room rather happily.

I looked at him and laughed a little. "You nice enough to bring back food for me and Sam too?"

Dean shrugged a little. "Why wouldn't I bring you two food?"

I smiled and reached out for the bag he was handing out to me and I was honestly surprised at how easy it was to deal with Dean even after we'd slept together _again_ with no strings attached. He didn't seem too attached so that was fine, and I pointed out what Sam had been doing and after eating a bit we got back on the road to look for John some more and after a few hours ended up at some coffee place. It was definitely mostly my idea to stop there because I was jonesing for my caffeine fix, and Sam was researching while Dean watched me.

Honestly Dean watching me made me feel pretty good about myself, but at the same time I was kind of wondering about what this meant about us…_if_ it meant anything at all about us. There wasn't actually an 'us' as far as Dean was concerned, and so we pretty much didn't speak about things unless we were joking with each other. It was odd, but he really was becoming one of my best friends—that I occasionally thought about naked.

"Those things are really fattening." Dean told me, pointing at my caramel frappachino as I smiled at him and sipped it.

"Well guess what…I like them, and I've been drinking them for forever and as you very well know, I'm not fat yet." I replied with a smirk and a shrug.

Dean smirked back. "You definitely aren't."

"And you know something else? Alcohol is more fattening." I told him playfully knowing that beer was really Dean's drink of choice. "I mean if you drink it all the time."

Dean smiled and laughed a little. "Well the sex is much more enjoyable sober, so that can easily be remedied."

I laughed a little with him too as he winked and then let it go, and I looked back down at the newspaper in front of me and tried to focus. Mostly I wanted to focus on anything other then Dean's infectious grin, but I couldn't seem to until Sam came over to us. Dean looked up at him when I did and we both grinned at Sam, Sam smiling at me mostly, which I understood. Sam pulled out his chair and Dean let out a chuckle, both Sam and I knowing that a joke was coming.

"Your half cafe vanilla latte is getting cold, Francis." Dean told Sam with a grin.

"Next time, give me a gender _appropriate_ badge." Sam told his brother in a huff as I held in a laugh.

Dean shrugged as he smiled. "It's more fun to go after the ladies."

"Yeah, fun for you." Sam said dismally, plopping down in his chair.

I waved it off. "Just ignore him, Sammy—did you find anything?"

It was the first time I had called Sam 'Sammy' in front of Dean and he did a double take just like I thought he would. He was the only one that Sam let get away with the nickname before I came along, and now I was allowed to call him by the affectionate name and Dean didn't know how to take it. At first I was fairly certain that he was now convinced that Sam and I were together or something, but soon the look was wiped off of his face and all attention was on Sam. That was Dean Winchester for you—moving on so fast you were still registering when he was already over it.

"I've checked the FBI databank: no John Doe fitting Dad's description. I even ran his plates for traffic violations." Sam explained dismally.

"I'm telling you, Sam, I don't think Dad wants to be found." Dean told him. "If we can't track him down, then there's no telling what lengths he's going to, to keep his distance."

"But why? I mean what's he doing? What if—he's in trouble? What if he needs our help?" Sam asked helplessly.

I reached over and took Sam's hand. "When we find a lead on him then we'll follow it. However, if we can't find anything before then, then it's probably best to—"

"—Yeah, I know. People to save, Evil to hunt." Sam told us with a sigh.

I nodded and turned my laptop towards him. "For instance, this. From Iowa—about 100 miles from here."

Sam looked at me and squeezed my hand before letting it go and focusing his attention on my laptop when Dean cleared his throat. The three of us were rather used to the new arrangement, but at the same time they still did things that surprised me sometimes. Like now for instance, Dean giving me a look and then instantly wiping the look off of his face when he realized I was looking at him and it dawned on me—I was already getting under their skin. Vain assumption, yes, but the behavior wasn't _that_ hard to read.

"Mutilated body found near victim's cars parked on a 9-mile road. Interesting." Sam read out loud and then looked at Dean and I skeptically. "What, for us? Really?"

"Keep reading." Dean and I persisted.

Sam nodded slowly. "Authorities are unable to put together a realistic description of the killer. The sole witness, whose name has been withheld, is described as distraught. She is quoted as saying the attacker was invisible."

"Could be interesting." Dean said as I said, "Death may equal case."

Sam laughed a little as he nodded. "Or it could be nothing at all. One freaked out witness who didn't see anything doesn't mean it's the Invisible Man."

Dean shrugged cavalierly. "But what if it is? Dad would check it out…can we?"

I could tell that Sam wasn't in the happiest mood ever that Dean would bring up that their father would do it, but it certainly caught his attention. So he nodded and looked over more of the information and we decided that it was only best to go to the college and pose as college students so we could find a way to talk to the reverend and his daughter that attended the university. That was where this particular hunt started to get kind of…personal and strange.

"We can say we're here for the fraternity, and she can say she's here for the sorority." Dean said with a shrug. "I mean it settles everything."

I gave Dean a look. "So you're sending me off by myself while the two of you get to stick together?"

Dean sighed, and set his hand on mine. "You'll be fine."

I rolled my eyes at him and then we finished up our little coffee break and got back into the Impala to drive to the university. When we got there, we talked to the people there, and said we were new transfer students. Before I could even get anything out story wise, Sam explained that the three of us were siblings, and after the loss of our parents we really wanted to go to the same school to spend time together. Dean grumbled and I wasn't too happy to not to get to flirt with the boys while I was there, but I sucked it up and decided to deal with it.

One of the girls we talked to was really excited to let me into the sorority, and wanted to give me a tour, and Dean was eying her. At least when Sam checked people out he was rather subtle about it, but the truth was that Dean was about as subtle as a peacock. So I had to actually go _inside_ the sorority in order to talk to the girls in there without having to deal with the boys—without having to deal with Dean making a fool of himself. As funny as _that_ was, I just wasn't in the mood to watch him flirt with other people.

"So I heard a guy died a few days ago." I said after I introduced myself inside the sorority to some of the girls.

The one showing me around nodded sadly. "Yeah. It's terribly sad. And get this—the eye witness was the Preacher's daughter, Lori."

I made a concerned face. "That's gotta be rough, and I feel like I should go and give her my condolences…would you happen to know which church?"

She was surprised at first but then genuinely seemed to think that I actually _was_ the nice person I was pretending to be, and told me the name of the church. Once I got the address from her, I hurried out of the room and then I went outside and ran into the guy who had been eying me the whole time Sam, Dean and I had been coming up with our alibis before, and I smiled an awkward smile. It wasn't that he wasn't attractive at all…it was that for some reason I didn't want to flirt with anyone but Sam or Dean…that was definitely going to be a problem. Stop with the bad confessions, Lana!

"Hey." I told him, trying to be accommodating and trying to ignore my inner confessions.

He smiled at me. "Hi. So…what made you pick our university?"

I was about to come up with some random story off the top of my head, but Sam and Dean came up behind him and those two were rather intimidating. It really didn't matter if they weren't my boyfriends or anything like that—if I was actually their sister then it was probably a good idea not to touch their sister if they wanted to keep all of their limbs. The look on Dean's face was priceless as the guy made up an excuse and left and I couldn't help but just wish that I had it in me to flirt with someone _not_ a Winchester for crying out loud! Why couldn't I have my own fun too?

"I could totally have scored." I said in an annoyed voice.

Dean frowned. "You were honestly into that? That scrawny thing with the bad hair?"

Sam punched Dean in the shoulder. "He was actually kind of attractive and if Lan wants to flirt with someone legal, you should let her—it's not like you don't hit on much uglier waitresses."

I beamed at Sam and then turned to Dean and shrugged. "See? I don't ruin _your_ fun."

"Whatever." Dean replied, and reached out to stroke my hair a little, making me a little weak in the knees and I had to push his hand away slowly.

"We have a job to do and looking at your sister lovingly is a little creepy." I told him, but smiled at him so he knew I wasn't _completely_ shutting him down.

Then we went to go to the church and got in there late and all sat next to each other as we sat down and listened to the rest of the sermon. I kind of enjoyed being in the church atmosphere again since it had been quite a while for me, but Dean looked rather uncomfortable and I guess I couldn't blame him. When the sermon was over, we went outside and met the preacher and his daughter, of whom was already making eyes at Sam. It shouldn't have, but it made me a little jealous and I knew I had to do something to get my mind off of it, so I was more than happy for the three of us to head to the library.

"What do you think?" Sam asked as we went into the library, referring to our conversations with the preacher and Lori.

"Lori's hot." Dean said with a chuckle.

"Excuse me?" I asked stopping suddenly and realizing what words I had let come out of my mouth.

Dean looked at me and raised an eyebrow while he smirked. "Is someone jealous, perhaps?"

I rolled my eyes. "What? No—I just think it's really inconsiderate to be hitting on a girl whose boyfriend just died."

"It's the classic Hook Man." Sam said, trying to change the subject as Dean and I gave each other awkward looks.

I composed myself though. "It makes sense. I mean the sharp instrument used in the killing, and everything…can we research a little more and take care of this, please?"

I knew that I wasn't very good at hiding the jealousy that I was feeling, and I was a lot harder on myself than the boys were hard on me. For some reason it was just too hard to keep my head around them and I wasn't quite sure what I was going to do if I couldn't get a handle on myself. This was too much, and all of the annoyance with myself and the caffeine crash made me fall asleep in the back of the Impala, waking up to Dean holding me, stroking my hair. I laid there for a moment enjoying the smell of leather, gunpowder and coffee, but then I realized what I was doing and pulled away from him and sat up, my arms crossed over my chest.

"Well someone is grumpy." Dean told me with a light chuckle.

I knew he was trying to be playful but I wasn't in the mood. "So where is Sammy?"

Dean cleared his throat and stopped smiling. "He's grabbing a couple things right now figuring some things out. So…honestly, Lana…are you into Sam?"

I gave him a look and reached for my laptop. "I believe I said once that I wasn't into either of you."

"Yeah, but that was before." Dean told me, looking me over. "You know…before everything."

"You mean before I slept with you again?" I asked him softly.

Dean and I sat there in silence for a little while and he just nodded and looked at the front seats of the car and I swallowed. I wanted there to be a little more from him on his part so I knew that I could trust him—I was pretty sure that I couldn't, and that was the worst part about all of it. I could totally trust him to protect me from monsters, and to have my back so I wouldn't get my ass murdered out here in the unknown, but with my feelings? How could you trust someone who didn't respect women? For now Dean and I had the physical down, but the emotional was something I would need, and Sam had that.

"Never mind, it doesn't matter. We're going to go and look at the source, so how about you try and find something else before Sam gets back, all right?" Dean asked me.

That was another thing about Dean Winchester—unless you got him drunk enough and alone enough to pretend to care, he shut down the emotional things. He thought it was rather macho not to talk about feelings, but I thought it was a lot manlier _to_ at least _address_ his feelings. If he and I were going to survive each other, then we were going to need to get our acts completely together and figure out like responsible adults how we were going to survive each other _without_ the sex. It was just one of those things that we were going to have to deal with…if Dean would be mature enough to deal with it with me…that was what I needed to find out.

"Does it occur to you that maybe we rushed into this?" I asked him suddenly.

Dean turned to look at me and we made eye contact. "What do you mean by that?"

I shrugged a little. "I mean if I hadn't been so persistent and just let you and Sam leave you never would have had to deal with me."

"Yeah, but it's honestly more fun with you around to be a mediator." Dean told me, smiling a little. "And you have to admit that you love hanging out with us adorable Winchesters."

I rolled my eyes as he wiggled his eyebrows. "Come on, Dean, I'm being serious here. I mean I could have just been a one-night stand for you and this could be you and Sam with no third wheel. I mean sure you're occasionally apparently getting sex out of it, but…I just…I think I'm jealous."

I bit my lip as Dean looked at me and then he scooted closer to me and I felt the butterflies again. This was hard, and I was trying to be strong, but how do you say 'no' to a guy that smells fantastic, has beautiful hazel eyes, sexy hair, and a grin that's to die for? How do you say 'no' to a guy that is willing to stroke your hair while you sleep as long as no one has to see the two of you in public? Honestly…if you have pointers for me, thanks, I'd love to take them.

"What are you jealous about?" Dean asked me, egging me on as he looked at my lips.

I swallowed and I knew he saw it. "I want to go with you guys to go to the source of it all."

Dean nodded a little, still looking at my lips, his face a little closer. "It'll be really dangerous."

I laughed awkwardly. "Like when would _that_ stop me? I can really handle myself and you know that."

"Fine, but you have to stay near me at all times." Dean replied, his gaze unwavering as he looked at my mouth.

Every time I bit my lip, the corner of his mouth would turn up into a rather satisfied smirk, and he seemed rather happy with the feelings he was making course through me. All he had to do was sit close to me and breathe on me while talking to me like he cared—which I knew on some level he did—and I was practically putty in his hands. It didn't matter to me in that moment that one day I could wake up and he'd be gone for good…I just wanted Dean Winchester to come out and admit some things and then kiss me for Christ's sakes! What exactly was he waiting for? A verbal invitation?

"You worry too much." I told him, and then I went for it.

I wasn't planning on it, but he was practically breathing down my neck and it bothered me and I had to act. What the Hell was wrong with him anyway? If he wanted me so badly then why wasn't he making a commitment? Or was he simply trying to get a rise out of me? He was definitely succeeding if it was a rise he was trying to get out of me because I was kissing him and he was kissing me back, his fingers already in my hair. I moved to get onto his lap but then I stopped and pulled away and he looked rather confused, and I was confused too because for once my brain was working more than my body.

"Any random kid on campus could walk by and see us making out and we're technically related." I told him, tucking my hair behind my ears.

Dean looked at me and laughed a little. "So we're a close family, whatever. We'll be leaving right after this hunt anyway."

I raised an eyebrow and placed my palm on his chest as he moved to kiss me again. "You may not care about it, but I dunno, it's a little weird."

Dean gave me a look. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." I replied, and Dean just held his hands up in the air and I moved away from him as Sam came back to the car.

I was trying so hard not to be a tease, and I tried to wave it all off as we went out to the place where the boy was killed, and while the boys sported the weapons, I just walked along with them. I knew I should have toted a weapon, but I was pretty sure we weren't going to find anything—blame my feelings—and it turned out we _didn't_ run into anything except a sheriff who took us in. Dean came up with a story about how we were just trying to haze Sam and Dean had brought me along to impress me because I was his girlfriend—step up from sister, I'll tell you that.

The sheriff actually bought the story, and he let us go and we tried to figure out what we were going to do next—especially since another murder had just happened. We had gotten up early to check on things and to see how Lori was—Sam's idea—and found out that Lori's girlfriend had been murdered the night before, which almost linked Lori to the murders. Her boyfriend, then her roommate? In this line of work there was really no such thing as coincidences, even if she seemed way too sweet and innocent to be a murderer.

"Think we'll get to see a naked pillow fight?" Dean asked suddenly as he, Sam and I were trying to sneak into a building to figure out some more information about what was going down and how to stop it.

I laughed loudly. "Wow…that is such a Dean Winchester thing to say, isn't it?"

Dean shrugged. "You just don't understand the hotness of a naked pillow fight."

"Who says?" I asked him loudly. "What if I enjoy them as much as you do? You are so sexist sometimes, Dean."

Dean smirked at me as Sam hopped up to get into the room where Lori's roommate was murdered. "Well aren't you just full of surprises?"

I rolled my eyes and Sam reached his hand down so that I could get into the room too, Dean helping me up from below. If I had been more upset with him I would have gotten upset with him for palming my ass, but I let it go and the three of us looked around the crime scene to figure out what happened. I was the first to find the symbol, and I waved the boys over, pointing to it, Sam showing up to it first.

"We are definitely dealing with the Hook Man." I told them.

Sam sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah…yeah we are. I'm going to go and check on Lori since the murders seem to be happening around her, and you two go to the graveyard and do what we do best."

"Yay for burning remains!" I told them with faked enthusiasm.

Sam smiled at me and then we parted ways that night, Dean and I going to find the gravestone and burn the bones of the Hook Man, burying his remains with salt. We were walking in the graveyard, and it was dark, and all together scary. Normally graveyards didn't have this kind of effect on me, but for some reason tonight it was just so much weirder than normal, and I wasn't sure how to handle it. Tack on the fact that I couldn't stop looking at Dean's ass and you've got yourself the source of the damn problem.

"I hate this." I said out loud since the silence was killing me. "I really hate graveyards."

Dean smiled at me. "Well I'm here to protect you."

"Right, because I need the protection so much. How about you just dig and I'll cheer you on?" I asked him with a big fake smile.

Dean frowned, and then we found the grave and he started digging…yes without my help. I was being the lookout, and it was kind of bothering him that I was being so hot and cold with him and I completely understood that. Perhaps if I just went into full-on 'flirt with the Winchesters' mode it would make all of our lives that much easier…no that would probably make things that much harder. Flirting never made _anything_ easier, and I had learned that the hard way many, many years ago and would rather not repeat that…that or a lot of my not so amazing past.

"I get stuck digging the grave while Sam gets to hang out with the hot chick." Dean complained.

I knew he was mumbling it so that I wouldn't hear, but it was pitch black and it was silent except for some night sounds so maybe he _knew_ I'd hear it. Besides what the Hell did he mean by that? I knew it was my vanity that made me find myself rather hot, but what the mother-loving fuck? Honestly if it upset him this much to be paired up with me then why hadn't he simply argued over the positions with Sam and gone off to stalk the hot college girl and made Sam hang out with me, the ugly one, in a graveyard?

"Nice to know you appreciate my looks." I told Dean, looking down at him in the grave.

Dean sighed loudly and looked up at me. "Lana, I didn't mean it like that and you know it—you're one of the most attractive women I've ever met, I just…Sam has the easy job."

I shrugged it off. "Maybe that just means you get more man points this time."

Dean smiled up at me as he crawled out of the grave, and then lit the match and dropped it onto the bones. They went up into flames and we watched them burn in silence, Dean dumping the salt onto them and then setting to cover it all back up as I watched him and tried to figure out what to say next. I wanted Dean and I to be good friends and at this point it seemed to me that the two of us would never really be friends—not the conventional meaning of it anyway.

"You're kind of hot when you're shoveling." I told Dean with a shrug as he finished up what he was doing.

He chuckled and looked at me. "Oh yeah? Wish I could say the same for you…but you didn't do any work."

I laughed loudly. "Yeah, I know. Look at you though! You're sporting some serious dirt!"

Dean rolled his eyes and kissed me, and I found myself for the first time simply accepting that this was how things were going to be with us. The two of us were pretty much going to flirt with each other and yell at each other, and sometimes sleep with each other. It was something I was finally on board with, and I loved that for a moment I actually felt like Dean cared enough to make the kiss soft and caring. Before he had just been getting me in the mood because he was a master of the bedroom, but this was different—this time he didn't have to.

"We should find Sammy." I told him, pulling away. "I mean as much as I'd like to make out with you covered in dirt and sweat in the middle of dead people, there's things we need to get done."

Dean nodded and stroked my hair. "You make sense, Meckenzie."

"I know I do, Winchester. Let's go." I told him, and though surprised when he took my hand, I grasped his back, and went headed to see Sam.

Sam called us and let us know that Lori's father had been attacked, and that the Hook Man was most definitely connected to Lori and what Lori found to be immoral. Her boyfriend tried to get too far with her, her roommate was kind of easy and trying to get Lori to change, and Lori's father was having an affair. So Dean and I hurried to be by Sam's side while he was in the hospital with Lori and her father, and had to tell the cops that we were Sam's brother and sister—yeah…we were back to _that_.

The talk with Sam pretty much led us to believe that there was something in the church tying the spirit here that we needed to find, so Sam went to check on Lori who had left to go to the church to pray. Dean and I watched him go and followed slowly, both of us trying to figure out how to define this new arrangement we'd reached and yet not really wanting too. At this point, with no label, it was easier to get out of it later when I pulled back away from him.

"They have an attraction." I told Dean in the silence.

Dean smiled a little. "Like ours?"

I smirked and then laughed and shook my head. "Not like ours. Theirs is based on more than just sex and kissing the other one to get a rise out of them."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, well…that just means ours is way more fun to test out than theirs is, don't you agree?"

"I have to concur." I told him with a laugh and then pointed towards the church. "We should prolly go waste a ghost."

"How do we know you and I didn't kill it _after_ it attacked her father?" Dean asked me.

I shrugged because I honestly _didn't_ know, but as always seemed to happen to us in our profession, the Hook Man was alive. We were desperately trying to scramble around to figure out what we needed to burn, Dean making rather nice shots with the shotgun, and then I saw it, around her neck—what if it was connected to Lori because part she wore part of him around her neck in the form of a cross? That could work, right?

"I thought you burned the silver!" Sam cried out to Dean.

"Obviously we missed something!" Dean replied angrily.

I nodded and pointed to the necklace around Lori's neck. "Where did you get that?"

"My father. He said it was a church heirloom!" Lori replied in a scared voice.

I nodded, and Sam took the necklace from her and handed it to me as the Hook Man began to scratch through the walls. Since it had to be burned, I tossed the necklace into the fire, and the Hook Man melted and burned before us, and I smiled. I had pretty much just proved that I as a vital part of the team, and that in itself made me more confident about my decision to stay. Then the ambulances came and Dean and I talked to the cops while Sam made sure that Lori was all right.

"So you saw him?" The cop asked us.

Dean and I nodded and Dean replied. "Yeah I saw him. We all saw him. We fought him off and he freaked out and ran."

The cop listened and when I nodded, he looked around and sighed. "Look, you two and your brother—"

"—oh don't worry, we're leaving town." Dean told him.

I nodded, and followed after Dean, smiling at Sam and Lori as she went up to Sam and checked on the arm the Hook Man had scratched. Mostly I wanted to check on Sam's arm, but I knew that with the way they had bonded without me—which yes, I was a little jealous of—it was really her place to do it, and Sam needed a girl who could focus sole attention on him…not one who kind of slept with his brother sometimes. So I got in the back seat as Dean got into the driver's seat of the Impala, and I opened my laptop.

"They're definitely attracted—it's a pure attraction." Dean told me.

I smiled up at him. "Our attraction is pure as well—at least _I_ think it is."

Dean shrugged a little. "You also think we need more. Don't deny it either, because well…I know girls like you."

I laughed and nodded. "I think that sentence is _all_ an understatement, honestly."

Dean laughed a little himself and nodded, then dropped the subject and watched Sam's interaction with Lori in the mirror on the side of the car. He kind of wanted Sam to be happy and I could tell that, but at the same time he wanted Sam to be aware like I was, that attachments were bad, and that was just the way things were in our lives. Still, Dean smiled at the sight, and then Sam got in the car and he looked down, and Dean looked over to him and then in the rearview mirror and sighed.

"We could stay." Dean told him.

Sam shook his head slowly though, and then Dean started the car and we began to drive off. It became clear to me right then and there that the three of us really needed to take some time for ourselves and stop being so selfless. I mean our job was incredibly important, but so was actually having some semblance of a life. Even if the life wasn't incredibly wonderful, we owed it to ourselves to have a _little_ fun.

"Anyone want to take a little vacation before we move on to the next monster before we find your dad?" I asked them out of the blue.

"What did you have in mind?" Sam asked me with a small laugh.

I shrugged a little bit. "A beach or something. I just think that we could use some sort of fun for a few days."

Sam turned to me and smiled. "All right. I think we could do that if we only took off like two days."

"Seriously? I thought you were incredibly set on saving dad." Dean told him, raising an eyebrow that Sam seemed to always cave to me.

Sam smiled and nodded. "We can still find and save dad…we just get to take a little break…like Lan said, Dean: we could use some sort of fun."

**Note: I dunno who YOU'D rather Lana be with, but I'd love to know. =P Even though I think we all know who she actually ends up with…haha.**


	5. Beach Fun and Relationships

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter is a filler that sets things in motion.**

**There's a much longer chapter next though.**

**=P**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

xxxx

I was busy e-mailing Jen late in the afternoon at the beach when Sam showed up and sat behind me, peering over my shoulder. He had been rather excited honestly that I had mentioned taking a break, because we both needed to get our thoughts sorted out, and I was pretty certain that the two of us were at the same area for now as far as thoughts were concerned. I pointed to the e-mail and Sam rolled his eyes and placed a quick kiss to my cheek because he wasn't going to _read_ over my shoulder—that was a Dean thing to do.

"So does she miss you yet?" Sam asked me, his chin resting in the dip in my shoulder near my neck.

I can't say I wasn't enjoying how close his face was to mine. "She misses me _all_ the time, Sammy."

Sam chuckled and his breath tickled my ear. "Is that so, Lan? Well I can't say I blame her—your company is rather welcome."

"Don't I know it?" I replied with a cheeky smile and nuzzled my face against his for a moment before I sent the e-mail off and shifted to face him. "So what's on the agenda for today?"

I have to tell you right now, that having Sam Winchester's face this close to mine was practically heaven. His deep brown eyes were sparkling at me and he had that dazzle in his smile, and I couldn't help but lean in a little further to test the boundaries. I'd already accepted my lot in life with them, and Sam was making it rather hard to resist him at the moment and I was pretty sure he had intended it that way. In fact he seemed to be just like his brother when it came to flirting—except that Sam seemed to genuinely want a relationship attached, which I was much more willing to accommodate for.

"So, on this vacation that you've laid all out for us, why are you e-mailing people?" Sam asked me with a glance at my mouth. "There are plenty of other things you can do on a beach, now isn't there?"

I smiled and glanced at Sam's lips too before our eyes met again. "You mean like hit on the life guards and tan?"

Sam laughed and I bit my lip happily at the sound of it. "You could watch Dean and I try new things too…when you're not hitting on the lifeguard and focusing on your tan."

I rolled my eyes and scooted in a little closer to him. "Something new like what exactly? Isn't Dean hitting on girls with small bikinis that are easy?"

"Yeah, but he told one he could surf." Sam replied with a shrug.

I couldn't help but burst out laughing when I had heard that, but for some reason it really didn't surprise me in the slightest. Dean was always coming up with really farfetched stories to pick up easy women, and since we were at a beach, it only made so much sense that he would try and use surfing as one. Now I wanted him to reap what he was sewing—I wanted to see Dean Winchester try and surf, and I wanted to see it more than almost anything. Mostly, I just wanted to see who exactly this girl was that Dean was hitting on that was worth such a ridiculous lie.

"All right, lets go see how the Winchesters do at surfing." I told Sam with a large grin. "So which beach babe is it? The redhead with the rack that stayed all day yesterday to see him and made him extend our vaca a day? Or some new conquest?"

"The redhead with the rack and her friend." Sam replied.

I laughed loudly. "Well of course, it's for two easy beach chicks."

I grabbed my laptop and my towel and went with Sam to go down to the beach to where Dean was chatting it up with two rather attractive women, and Sam reached out to stroke my hair. He was anticipating my jealousy, but honestly it was a Dean thing to do—flirt—and I was rather all right with it. I have to say too that seeing the Winchester boys without their shirts on was rather nice to see, and I was certain the girls Dean was hitting on were rather excited to see the lean muscled Winchester…and one seemed to like my Sammy too.

Sam was definitely more toned than Dean was, and had more muscle, but they were both appealing for different reasons. I pulled off my t-shirt and shimmied off my jean shorts as the two went to grab some surf boards, Dean checking me out when he and Sam came back and I let my hair down out of its ponytail and gave Sam a swat on the ass as the two turned to go. I smiled after them as they lay on their boards and paddling out to catch a wave, and then took a seat next to the redhead with the rack, and her blonde friend who looked just as easy.

"That one with the build is fine." I heard the redhead behind me say about Dean.

"I agree." The blonde replied. "Though the other guy is cute too—definitely toned."

The redhead shrugged. "I'm partial to the one with the hot ass."

"So either of them will do then?" I asked her with a small laugh.

They smiled at me and nodded as we laughed, and I turned around to look at Sam and Dean as they both stood up and tried to ride the wave but Dean fell off. I couldn't help but laugh loudly at how well Sam was catching on compared to Dean, and the girls behind me seemed to be even more turned on by the fact that Dean had lied to impress them. Remember when I said that Dean went after easy girls? It was starting to seem to me like Dean would have to go _off_ of my radar…I didn't want to be easy.

"It's so cute that he can't surf!" The redhead exclaimed.

I laughed a little bit. "Yeah, it _is_ a little cute, but check out the one with the amazing ass."

"Is he your boyfriend?" The blonde one asked me. "I couldn't help but notice how you tapped his ass as they left."

"I'm Lana and the boy who sucks at surfing is not my boyfriend." I told them, holding out my hand. "It's up in the air about the other one, though."

The girls nodded and introduced themselves—the redhead was Lynn and the blonde was Courtney. The redhead was hoping to get lucky with Dean, and I was pretty sure she would at this point if she didn't mind the lying, and if the blonde was willing to share him, Dean would have himself a party. I personally just wanted Sam right now, because in my acceptance I had weighed my options and if I wanted something other than random sex and kisses that came out of nowhere because he was lonely—Sam Winchester was the one to go to for substance, and when I turned to see them coming back, the girls flocked to Dean as he dripped wet, Sam getting all of my attention.

"Well someone certainly doesn't suck at surfing." I told Sam, reaching up and shaking the water out of his hair. "Nice job and I think we may have the place to ourselves tonight, because he might be getting lucky with not just one but two ladies tonight."

Sam chortled. "Oh because they're such ladies."

I scrunched up my nose. "You're right…why in the world would _they_ be constituted as ladies—they're far too easy."

"Far too." Sam chorused, and we grinned at each other before turning to Dean and watching him deal with his instant popularity.

It made me rather happy actually to see the guy getting the attention thrown at him that he wanted so badly, and then Sam took my hand and excused us. We were both pretty certain that Dean was going to get himself one wild night—if not two—and Sam and I were going to spend some time getting to know each other better. Neither of us really paid any attention to any of the faces Dean might have made at us walking away from him hand in hand, and I'd be lying if I said we were really thinking about it right that second—we were too busy laughing at how easily Dean got skirt.

We walked to the little beachside condo we'd rented with one of Dean's fake credit cards, and while Sam laid down on the couch, I sat on the floor—my couch, I assure you. Sam Winchester was far too gentlemanly to force me to sit on or sleep on the floor, and I was far too stubborn to let him switch places with me. We were going to watch a movie since there really didn't seem to be anything else to do, and since it wasn't like we carried anything with us, it was up to Pay-Per-View. I wasn't sure exactly what I was in the mood for, but I figured that if I was going to flirt with him, I was going to need to pick a horror movie and _pretend_ I was afraid of it.

"You really want to watch a horror movie in the middle of nowhere near a body of water?" Sam asked me with an eyebrow raised.

I rolled my eyes as I looked through the list of movies to choose from. "Honestly, I don't think any of these movies are even scary I mean under 'horror' they have _Van Helsing_…what about that movie inspires fear?"

Sam laughed. "You have a point…what about something _not_ scary then?"

I smiled and laughed. "You mean like everything on this list? Oh! _Wrong Turn_!"

"How is _Wrong Turn_ scary?" Sam asked me skeptically.

I shrugged a little and bit my lip, getting the movie to start after charging it to Dean's credit card that had paid for the condo. We had three different rooms, and there were two bathrooms, and though sleeping in my own bed the night before had been fun, I was so used to cuddling up next to Sam. On top of that there was a kitchen and a dining room, and then the living area which was pretty spacious, and we'd been utilizing its space for the time being since it was cushier than living out of the Impala.

"Honestly?" Sam asked me again.

I shrugged again. "I have an irrational fear of incestuous mutants, all right? In all reality, things could mutate into them, and I certainly wouldn't wanna be killed by one."

"Fair enough." Sam replied, and started to play with my hair, which made me hold my breath for a moment. "You all right, Lan?"

"I'm totally fine." I assured him as the beginning of the movie began to play.

I watched as Sam nodded at me out of the corner of my eye and he told me I was tense and started to rub my shoulders. His hands were like magic as they ran along my shoulders, and he pushed my hair over my shoulder and I lulled my head a little because it felt so good to have his hands run over my skin. At first I was a little surprised when he untied my halter to get a better handle on my neck, but my body never showed the surprise and Sam kept going, working out the kinks. I was starting to feel slightly hot and bothered by the man sitting behind me and I had to do something—say something.

"2003 was actually a damn good year for 'horror' movies." I told him, using my fingers to make quotes when I said the word 'horror'.

Sam chuckled and I loved it. "Oh yeah? What makes you say that?"

I shrugged a little and then stopped moving my shoulders to let him rub them. "Jenny and I spent a lot of time watching the movies that year with ice cream and various other junk foods. I mean there was _Wrong Turn_, _Underworld_, _Jeepers Creepers 2_, _Texas Chainsaw Massacre_—we enjoy movies with blood in them that have the occasional moment that make us jump or scream."

Sam leaned in and whispered in my ear, "Sounds to me like the two of you need to put a little fluff in your movie diet."

"Sammy…" I breathed.

I hadn't meant to make it sounds like I seriously wanted him, but at that moment I did and I shouldn't when a person was getting murdered on the TV right that second. I turned to look at him though and then got onto the couch, crawling onto his lap and then forcing myself to look at the TV as Sam watched me, curious at my behavior. He reached his hand up and cupped my face, running his thumb over my bottom lip and I closed my eyes and knew for a fact that he was smiling because he could see every reaction I made to him. This was so not what I had signed on for, but I was practically putty in his hands right that moment and all I could think about was how his fingers were now tracing shapes on my collar bone.

"Oh look, blood." I managed to say, looking at the TV as they showed the first dead body. "You can tell it's fake."

"Lan?" Sam asked me.

I knew I was going to regret it the second I turned to face him, but I couldn't help but _want_ to look into those chocolate eyes. He smiled at me and then his lips crashed into mine and he slipped his fingers into my hair and pulled me closer to him. His lips weren't as chapped as Dean's and I wished desperately that I hadn't thought that at first, but soon the kiss was all its own and the only person I thought about was Sam. Sam Winchester, the only guy this whole experience that had actually put my needs above his own—the only one that was willing to call the attraction between us something other than simply an attraction.

"Favorite song?" Sam asked me.

I giggled because I thought it was cute that he was trying to get to know me while we made-out and groped each other on the couch. My hands had somehow made it to his chest and my fingers were drawing circles around his nipples, which he rather seemed to enjoy, and I couldn't say I wasn't a fan of his fingers under my halter running along my stomach as I went to straddle his lap. His lips traveled to my neck where he bit me softly and I moaned a little, enjoying the sucking and the pawing and forgetting what he asked me…yeah, I honestly couldn't remember.

"Favorite song?" Sam asked again like he could read my mind.

I took a deep breath and tried to think. "Um…_Learning to Breathe_?"

Sam chuckled a little and kissed my jaw. "_Parachutes_."

I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair. "A **Coldplay** kind of man, eh? That's kind of hot, I have to say."

"Most people wouldn't agree with you." Sam replied, stroking my cheek and looking me in the eye as he ran his nose along mine.

I shrugged. "And who needs their opinion anyway?"

Sam chuckled and nodded and kissed me again, but this time a scream interrupted us and we both were suddenly very alert because it hadn't come from the TV. I got off of Sam's lap and pulled my hair back, tying my halter again and then heading to the window as Sam grabbed a gun and followed suit. We both sighed because we were going to have to go and check it out and so after grabbing some jackets we went outside into the cold night air and turned on our flashlights as we checked by the ocean. It was really breezy outside and I had bare legs, so I shivered and Sam started to pull his jacket off and I shook my head.

"No, no, no—I'm totally fine. Honestly my legs get cold last, keep your jacket." I told him with a smile.

"Not gentlemanly." Sam replied.

I sighed loudly. "Come on what kind of a girlfriend would I be if I totally jacked your jacket? Oh my God…I'm so sorry—that was so not what you wanted to hear."

"Actually…I like the sound of it." Sam admitted with a blush.

I had thought the moment would be really awkward between us, but it hadn't been…and so I was now Sam Winchester's girlfriend. The thought made me smile and it made him smile too as I nodded, and then I forced him to keep his jacket and we didn't run into anything and headed back to the condo to do a little bit of research before I yawned and Sam suggested turning in. Another difference between Sam and Dean Winchester—Sam actually meant _sleep_…and I really couldn't blame him. It was a bit early to be in a relationship after Jessica…and even earlier to be thinking about having sex with someone else…I admired the crap out of Sam for trying and promised myself I wouldn't be too difficult for him. If there was anything I understood, it was how hard it was to start over after losing someone close to you—how hard it was to start over after having your heart completely broken apart

_"You're losing sight of what you're __**supposed**__ to be doing." Bethany Meckenzie told me._

_I took a deep breath and nodded, looking at the girl tied to the chair in the basement of the warehouse. It wasn't the first time I'd been sent to find things out from someone tainted with demon blood and it wouldn't be the last. There were so many things that I wanted to tell them I wouldn't do for them, but I never had to torture—just ask questions until I was blue in the face. Most of them were willing to help me too—it was the possessed ones that wouldn't tell me what I needed to hear._

_"Last time I hit a dead end." I tried._

_Marcus scoffed. "Sweetheart, that happens—just means you need to think outside the box."_

_"Besides…you can't play into his plan." Bethany explained to me, running her fingers through my hair. "He wants to have you and you can't let him."_

_"You keep telling me that, but I don't know exactly what it is that you two are talking about." I told them exasperatedly. "Who is 'he'?"_

_Bethany and Marcus just smiled at me like I should know and I sighed and looked at the blonde girl as her face suddenly changed into that of a man. He looked up at me and suddenly he was standing on his own, in front of me and looking at me with sad, troubled eyes. I wasn't the only one looking for this demon, and I was fairly certain the demon had less to do with my parents' murder, and more to do with myself. There was so much I didn't know about my heritage—like my real father's true identity—and I was already messed up because of my real mother._

_"He'll be the one to take you to the woman who murdered us." Bethany explained with a smile. "Memorize his face…find him."_

_I sighed loudly. "How do I find him without a name?"_

_Marcus nudged me lovingly in the jaw with his fist and grinned. "You'll figure it out, baby cakes…just go back to Jen and research."_

I had to do my best the next morning to simply stretch awake instead of bolting awake. I'd dreamt about my parents quite a lot actually, but never like that. Their spirits had never really moved on and if I had learned anything at all about my dreams, it was that they were always true—they always meant something. In fact, this time I was pretty damn sure that I needed to head back to Kansas, and that neither Winchester was going to be very happy about it—especially Sam. We'd finally gotten used to the three of us being a team, but this was something I had to do all by myself, and the girl screaming last night was something that Sam and Dean could handle together.

Sam tightened his arm around me and I snuggled my back into his chest, smiling as he kissed my neck and nuzzled his nose against my skin. He was one of the sweetest men that I had ever had the pleasure to know, and it made me feel rather happy to know that he was so calm, and he wasn't regretting agreeing to my randomly blurted out proposal the night before. We'd fallen asleep talking about our favorite movies, and bands, and TV shows, and then he'd told me a little bit about college, and I admitted that I never went—that I was 21 years old, and I still had so much more to experience out of life.

"Good morning." Sam whispered, smiling at me as I turned over to face him and he tucked some hair behind my ear before stroking my cheek. "Are you all right? You seemed a little distressed when you were sleeping."

I nodded a little. "I'm going to be fine, I think, I just…I never really came clean to you guys about my parents."

"We never really thought it was our place to ask about them." Sam admitted, and I kissed him softly. "What is it you want to tell me about them?"

"I was adopted." I replied slowly, stroking his cheek with my fingertips and running my thumb along his mouth as I looked him in the eye. "I loved my adoptive parents to death, I really did, and they tried to keep me safe from the hunting world—but I always knew about it. They let me do what I pleased really—even with all of their rules—because my parents were kind of…they were taken by demons."

Sam pulled me closer to him and stroked my hair and he nodded and took the information in that I was feeding him. I needed him to understand about Bethany and Marcus Meckenzie in order for him to understand why I had the dreams that I had…why getting involved with me was tiring, which Lance could very well attend to. It was easy too, telling Sam everything because he was so understanding about it all—so willing to help me in any way that he could. There was just so much I couldn't tell him, and so part of me was feeling bad that I was already lying to my boyfriend…and we'd been dating less than 24 hours.

"I'm sorry, Lan." Sam told me softly.

I smiled at him. "I know…there's nothing we can do about. The point is, when I was 18, my adoptive parents were murdered in a fire, and they felt it was their job to watch over me…to point me towards their murderer. So, occasionally when I'm off track they come to me in vivid dreams and I just had one—telling me it's time I headed back home and worked on my search."

Sam frowned. "How do you know you can trust them, Lan? I mean they could just be angry spirits luring you—"

"—into a trap? Yeah, I know. I have also been around a lot of spirits in my day, Sammy…and in the three years I've been doing things for them, not once have they led me astray." I explained, and then I sat up and looked towards his bedroom door. "I'd only be gone for a little while, I promise."

"So you're planning on coming back then?" Sam asked me, resting his hand on my knee and running his thumb along it.

I smiled at the human contact and rested my hand on his before I turned to him and I smiled brightly at him. He smiled back and I leaned down to kiss him, lying down with him and snuggling up against him as I opened my mouth for his tongue and he slid his hand into my hair. I rather thoroughly enjoyed kissing Sam, and he seemed to enjoy it too, but we both knew my mind was made up and I needed to get going, so when I pulled away, he just stroked my hair and nodded as he looked me in the eye.

"If you don't keep in touch, I'm going to have to hunt your ass back down, and you know I can do it." I told him with a grin.

Sam chuckled and watched me get off of the bed and head for the bedroom door. I turned to look at him and leaned on the door frame, smiling as he sat up and looked me up and down, both of us having fallen asleep in our swimsuits the night before. Chuckling he told me to go get dressed and he'd shower and then make some breakfast, and I nodded and headed out of his room and then towards mine, passing Dean's—he had wanted to be in the middle.

"I'm surprised you're in." I told him, catching a glimpse of him and then leaning on the doorframe of his room. "You have a good night?"

Dean looked up at me as he took his boots off. "Judging from the fact that I _just_ got in, you tell me."

"Well then it must have been some night." I said and nodded with a smile. "Sam and I had a little fun ourselves."

"I figured seeing as how you're dressed in what you left me in and you're coming from the direction of his room." Dean told me with a cheeky grin. "I'm not stupid when it comes to testing the boundaries."

I rolled my eyes. "For your information Sam and I did _not_ jump right into bed with each other…but we are however a couple now so no more random kisses and no gratitude sex, all right? That would be tacky."

I didn't know what to classify the look on Dean's face as, but I was pretty certain he was actually all right with it. Sam and I were actually testing out a relationship and I hadn't found myself thinking about Dean at all until I had walked past his bedroom. I wasn't sure exactly what that said about me either, considering the first thought when Sam's lips first touched mine had been about the great feel of Dean's chapped lips…I was messed up. Even so, it was nice to know that Dean and I could talk about this and he could be cool with it even though I was doing what I swore I wouldn't do in the beginning—get in between the two of them and their brother dynamic.

"Well I'm glad that Sam could find someone to care about him that can take care of herself when faced with danger." Dean told me, and he sounded rather sincere.

I smiled and nodded. "Thank you…I'm going to let you get your rest while I shower and then get changed. Sam's going to make breakfast and since you'll be out cold, he'll probably be the one to take me to the airport. Oh shoot! Reminds me! I need to go buy a ticket online!"

Dean came out of his room into the living area. "Wait, what? You're leaving already?"

I opened up my laptop on the coffee table and nodded. "I have some things to take care of in Lawrence."

"You've got some pretty damn good timing, Lana!" Dean told me angrily.

I looked up at him and made a face, rather confused by his sudden change in temperament. He obviously had something on his mind that he hadn't come clean to me about because even though he didn't know the whole story behind my going, he sure wasn't making a fuss because he was mad I was leaving Sam. When I looked away from him to book my spot on a flight, he scoffed and I sighed loudly and then took a deep breath because I really wanted him to just spit it out.

"What exactly is your problem here?" I asked him.

"_My_ problem? You accept Sam's proposal to be his girlfriend and then you abandon him to go home!" Dean exclaimed.

I laughed. "That is _not_ what is going on here and that is _not_ why you're mad at me. You're mad at me because I'm changing the dynamic on _you_ again."

"This has _nothing_ to do with me." Dean replied, but his voice faltered.

It was in that moment that I realized that even though we'd only known each other for a little while, I was officially something to them. Dean, even though he acted tough and made speeches about not getting attached, got attached damn fast and he was attached to me and now he had to figure things out without me. His father had abandoned them, and now he was afraid that I was abandoning them too and I wasn't—I just had some things to take care of that I had to do with Jen, and Jen had a life of her own she hated leaving unless she had to. Since the search for the woman that murdered my parents kept hitting dead ends, it was no reason to uproot her and besides…my parents had explained that I had to go back to Kansas.

"Dean, I'm not abandoning you two, all right? I have some things to work on surrounding my parents' murder, and I have to do it from home…I'm coming back." I explained, closing the laptop when the e-mail confirmation went through on the booked ticket.

Dean gave me a look. "Who said anything about abandoning?"

"I know more about you than you want to let on, Dean, and I get it, all right? You hate being alone, and now I'm switching things up on you again. It was you, your father and your brother and then Sam left and you had to cope. Then your father left and the first thing you did? You went to get Sammy." I told him softly with a shrug.

"Don't do that, Lana. You have no—"

"—you told me that fist night after we met that you needed to be near him because besides your father, he was all that you had. Well Sammy is still here and even though you've gotten used to the estrogen and the boobs, you can do without me for a little bit, all right?" I told him as he ran his hand down his face. "I'm coming back."

He and I looked at each other for a moment and then he nodded, wishing I knew, that he hadn't been drunk enough to tell me anything like that. I knew him and Sam better than I knew I should be this point, but hunting and everything brought out sides that no one else had ever seen—it really showed your character. Deep down Dean hated being alone, and I hated making him feel like he wasn't going to see me again when he was attached to me, but I was coming back, and he had to know that too. They were part of my family now, and I wasn't going to stay away from them for too long—that was a promise I was going to keep to myself.

"I hate that you know me like that." Dean told me.

I smiled as I headed for my room, my back to him. "Yeah? Well get used to it, Buddy, because we're all going to have to have to know quite a lot about each other to survive this if demons try and possess us or something."

Dean laughed a little when I turned to face him. "That's right…like how you sleep on your right side? And how when you have a nightmare you furrow your brow when you sleep? And that like me…you have to have at least one person around that understands you?"

I was honestly taken back by how much Dean knew about me, and I wasn't sure anymore how to react to him. He and Sam as close as I was to them, in the back of my mind Dean would always be there, nagging me and pushing all of my buttons. One second he's totally pushing me away to flirt with the hottest thing he can see, and the next he's practically all over me with soft kisses and gratitude sex. One minute he's all over two chicks on a beach he probably slept with the night before, and the next he telling me things about myself that I guess I always knew, but never thought about…he was one layered son of a bitch.

"Cheater." I told me and he smirked and shrugged.

"Yeah, but you're still playing the game." Dean replied, and we both heard the shower turn off in one of the bathrooms.

I laughed a little and then looked at him as I backed up into my room, my hand on the door. "Just make sure Sam has something to make for breakfast."

With that I shut the door in his face and I grabbed some clothes to change into after my shower, getting in and getting out, smelling breakfast as I got dressed. I brushed my hair and I smiled a little to myself as I checked my appearance over in the mirror and then packed my duffle and put my shoes on, heading out to sit next to Dean, the island ledge between us and Sam cooking, and I smiled as Dean did. Sam Winchester could cook…who the Hell would have known _that_?

"Smells good. Eggs?" I asked him.

Sam nodded happily. "Yes—eggs."

I pulled my hair back into a ponytail. "Well what a breakfast to be shipped off with. You guys are going to keep in touch with me, right? Like even if you get into _big_ trouble and have to change your phones and numbers?"

Sam reached out to stroke my hair and looked me in the eye. "Yes. I will keep in touch with you no matter what."

"What a way to start a relationship, huh? Long distance?" I asked him sadly.

He kissed me softly, and then pulled back. "That is some hot steam."

"Well you leaned over a _stove_, Knucklehead!" I told him as I laughed. "But hey…I'll miss you—both of you."

"Thank you for including me, now can we eat?" Dean asked out loud.


	6. Trying to Come Clean

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**For those readers who read the other one, a lot has changed and yet most of it is still the same.**

**This chapter is kind of…I love it.**

**I think it starts to show exactly what I wanted Lana and Dean to be in the first place, and I'm better at showing it now.**

**ENJOY!**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

xxxx

It took me three weeks to get the courage to even go see my parents' graves. Sam and I had had lots of conversations over the phone, and lots of laughs, and stories of what he and Dean had been doing, and then the conversations stopped—for some reason he stopped calling, and stopped answering the phone. When I called Dean, he didn't answer either, and I was worried, but I needed to do what I came to do. I had left them to take care of things that I hadn't been quite emotionally ready to take care of, and Jen had been busy with work and with little things of her own and the dreams were getting worse—I needed to visit their grave.

I put on some tight jeans, a white tank top, a jean jacket that matched my jeans, and then I put tennis shoes on, packed up my car, locked up my house, and went to the graveyard. I took some flowers I had picked out of the garden in the back of the house, and I sat down between the graves, pulling my hair back into a ponytail and then looking from grave to grave, wondering what it was I was supposed to say. There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but my questions were only answered when I slept, and the dreams were starting to get scary…they were starting to get unbearable.

"I came because I had the dreams again." I began slowly, and when I was only met by silence, I wiped my eyes before the tears leaked out of my eyes and ran down my cheeks. "They aren't staying consistent either, which is what I'm most worried about. There's the one—the fire and you two just smiling at me, holding me to you while the house burned. Then, the two of you weren't there anymore because I knew that you were dead—that you were in the house burning and I wasn't allowed to go in and save you. Then there's the other one…the one with the girl strapped down to a chair and then suddenly it's a man—always the same man. But now the dream is starting to change—sometimes I kill the girl and I don't know why I do it. Why do I do it?"

I took a deep breath and nodded because I knew the question wasn't going to be answered, but that was what I was most worried about—me killing that girl. I honestly had no idea why she was strapped down to the chair in the first place but she always was—and she always told me that 'this wasn't me', and I couldn't figure out what that meant. I knew my task right then and there was figuring out who that man was, but with no name, there was no way I was going to find him—and I was getting worse and worse it seemed at figuring out the clues hidden in the dreams. Somewhere in the dream was the man's location, but for now I wanted to go back to Sam and Dean…so I changed the subject as I sat there on the ground and looked at the gravestones—I knew I had a job to do, but there was just no way that I was going to get it done on my own, and I had a new family now…I had a new place to belong.

"I remember the house after they repaired it—after they refurnished it. It looks the same, but it's different without you…I was convinced for the longest time that the two of you were haunting the place—and you were. But then you left, and you were supposed to move on but you send me these dreams that I don't understand! Annie's gone, Jen has a life, Chelsea was murdered, and I then met Dean and Sam, and through them I found my purpose in life—I found a new place to belong and I don't want the dreams anymore. I will avenge you…but please…the dreams are starting to scare me." I admitted, and then I shrugged. "Besides…I've got a boyfriend again, and he understands me and his not answering his phone means that something is wrong." I let go of the flowers and then stood up, smiling down at the gravestones. "I love you—both of you—but I have to go and make sure if Sam and Dean are all right."

With one last fond glance I got up and I went to try and pick up their trail, which was a lot easier than I thought it would be—but I knew them. It was weird that I knew them already after very little time, but we had bonded so fast that none of us really took the time to question it. The only thing I was questioning besides the dreams was why Sam and Dean weren't answering their cell phones and I was getting nervous. It took me a few days to drive all the way to where Dean and Sam had been last time, and then I had to pick up the trail again, and I ended up in a town where disappearances had been occurring so I figured jackpot!

As I drove by a house, I saw Dean's car, and Dean talking to an attractive female, so I pulled over behind him and parked. I checked my hair and applied lip gloss before I realized that Sam wasn't standing out here with Dean, nor was he in the car, and that worried me a little too—unless he was in their motel researching. I got my jeaned butt out of the car, fixing my black top, and straightening my jean jacket and I sat on top of the hood of Dean's car, leaning back and crossing my ankles so I could get his attention. Even if I wasn't dating him, I was rather happy to see him alive, and in the mood to kill the son of a bitch for not talking to me in the last little bit.

When he turned around as the girl went into her house, he smiled a little, coming to me, and giving me a classic Dean look—what a smartass. I pulled him into a hug though, and at first he was startled, but soon his arms were around me too and we just held each other because it was good to be in such familiar company again. He seemed really tense, but he was starting to relax, and I had a feeling something was going on with him that I wasn't aware of and I wanted to know. As always with Dean though, he realized it was getting a little too 'share your feelings' and he let go of me and pulled back.

"I figured you'd be with Sammy." Dean told me with a shrug.

I raised an eyebrow. "Okay…and where _is_ Sammy?"

Dean raised an eyebrow in response to my question. "What? He hasn't talked to you?"

I gave him a look. "Neither have you, so don't try turning this around on him like it's some sort of childish game or something. Where is Sammy?"

"Last I saw him he got mad at me for taking this case and I left his ass on the side of the road." Dean replied and I smacked his arm. "Hey! It's not _my_ fault he went and had to get all stubborn, all right? I blame _you_ for that trait, Missy."

I sighed and nodded, sliding off of the hood of the Impala and looking over at my car—Dean's was so much sexier. Dean followed my gaze and just shrugged since he'd apparently shoved enough in my face, and then he fiddled with his keys and cleared his throat. I turned to look at him, curious about what he wanted to say, but the words never came out—he wanted to tell me something but like always he shut down, and there was nothing that I could do about it. Right now we were in the middle of a case, and I needed to figure out where Sam was and see if he was safe.

"So what demonic or supernatural thing are we dealing with now?" I asked him, changing the subject so that he didn't have to.

"Let's go see." Dean told me, plastering a smile on his face, and then he pointed to my car. "What will you do with your car?"

I shrugged and looked at him. "I have family close to here, and if you don't mind seeing them, I can drop it off with them."

Dean smirked and a joke was coming, I knew it. "Isn't it a bit early to meet the fam? And I mean with Sam not even here, tsk, tsk."

"Sooner or later Aunt is going to want to meet you Winchester boys." I told him with a laugh. "So you drive and I'll follow so you can fill me in first, all right? We can drop my car off later."

Dean protested that we could drop my car off at the motel first and _then_ go to the apple orchards, and I sighed and agreed—easiest to keep us in the same car. So we headed to the motel and I sighed loudly as I checked my phone for word from Sam…there wasn't any, in case you were wondering. It was getting to the point where I was pretty sure he was either really mad at me, or he was simply certain I'd come to help and I was mad and he was letting me cool off. Still, one of them should have had the decency to keep in contact with me, and I would have hoped it would have been my boyfriend.

"The quicker we get this done, the quicker we get to Sam." Dean told me as he caught me looking at my phone.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, you're right—let's go see this scarecrow you keep mentioning."

Dean grinned as we piled into the Impala, me riding shotgun for the first time. "Sounds like a plan! I haven't actually seen it up close and personal yet—you showed up before I made that happen."

I laughed a little. "Well sorry to be such a bother."

"You're never a bother, Lana…well…you know…" Dean said, and we both laughed.

It felt nice to be back here doing this again, even if it was with just Dean at the moment. I had missed the company and the banter and the fun and the car, and it was nice to know that after three weeks, Dean and I were still good friends. Honestly, it was even nice to know from the glances we snuck with each other that we were still highly attached, and though it could prove fatal later on, for now it gave us both the company that we craved. Let it be known that Dean Winchester and Lana Meckenzie _hated_ to be alone, and they would do practically _anything_ to keep themselves from such a fate.

"Is that it?" I asked as we got out of the car and headed towards a figure in the distance.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, I think it might be—let's get closer to it."

I nodded as well and we both went right up to the scarecrow saying simultaneously, "Dude, you're fugly," and then Dean had to turn to me and add, "and you're beautiful."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Still smooth, Dean, still smooth."

He shrugged and gave me a playful wink and I just brushed it off, both of us looking at the picture Dean had printed out. We held it up to the one in front of our faces to make sure that it was a match, and then Dean took a couple steps to the side and nodded, noting that everything was there that was supposed to be there and I checked my phone. It was a bad, nervous habit, but I really wanted to hear from Sam and soon—the Winchester's needed to get their asses into gear.

"Nice tat." Dean told the scarecrow.

I laughed and looked at Dean. "I am so glad yours and Sammy's arms are clean from something like that—nicer to look at."

Dean smiled at me. "You don't have any new markings, do you?"

I smiled back as I shook my head and laughed again. "No, I don't."

"Remind me to check that later." He winked and then headed back towards the Impala.

I rolled my eyes and called after him, "Hey now, that's Sam's job!"

Dean shrugged and without turning back around replied, "But he isn't here right now, is he?"

While Dean worked on the task at hand, I ran my fingers through his hair to calm him down and to calm my nerves. The two of use needed some sort of closeness with Sam not even answering for Dean, and to keep our mind off of that, we were researching the ugly scarecrow thing. It seemed to be some sort of sacrificial thing given how many couples were missing and when Dean mentioned 'fertility God' I couldn't help but laugh and then I had to compose myself when Dean shot me a look. I wasn't even _trying_ to be immature, I just thought there were better reasons to sacrifice people.

"Never mind, I'm just going to agree with you, because the information fits." I told him, holding my hands up in surrender.

"Fine, but don't stop." Dean replied and went back to researching.

I rolled my eyes and started to massage his shoulders, taking a deep breath before asking what I wanted to. "So…what happened between you and Sam?"

Dean sighed loudly, but he was too close to me to lie. "It's just that Sam belongs in his world, and I belong in mine. We—I'm obsessed with fighting demons and doing what Dad wants, but Sam—Sam's obsessed with reading between the lines and trying to find him when he wanted us to deal with this thing. It just makes him who he is."

"Wait a minute…John actually _told_ you to do this one?" I asked him surprised. "Like he just showed up or what?"

"He called us and told us that we needed to focus on the hunt, but Sam wanted to find Dad instead." Dean said and he would have shrugged, but he liked the rubbing.

I nodded, and then after a little while I decided to take a shower and he let me go, me getting out and getting dressed, Dean trying to figure out some more of the lore. When I yawned he told me to take a nap, which I shouldn't have done because when I woke up, Dean was gone, and there was only a note left behind in his wake. It infuriated me that he would try and take something like that on by himself, and the note infuriated me even more than his disappearance.

_Lana,_

_Went to check in with the sheriff._

_Didn't want to wake you._

_Did you know you drool when you sleep?_

_Dean_

So the first thing I did was head out and check in with the sheriff but no one had apparently seen him and it all began to make sense—everyone was in on it. It was like a Texas Chainsaw Massacre thing, and so I headed out to the apple orchards to try and see if I could find Dean. If they were using him as a sacrifice, then all I had to do was find him before the scarecrow came to life and claimed him, and then it would all be over. Well, it would all be over if we could kill the scarecrow…so that meant finding Dean, which meant grabbing a gun and heading into woods by myself. Good thing I wasn't blonde or a serious ho—meant I wouldn't be dying first.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" Sam asked me out of nowhere and I jumped. "Aren't you off doing what you need to do?"

"Sam, you're such an ass!" I yelled at him and then I jumped on him and started kissing him. "I finished that. I—I got worried about you guys when you stopped answering your calls."

Sam returned the kisses and held me. "I knew that if I told you what was up, you wouldn't finish what you needed to do…but you did that anyway."

"I'd rather be with you guys then on my own. That being said, we should split up to find your brother." I told Sam, getting off of him and pointing in two different directions. "I'll go that way, and you go that way."

Sam wasn't really happy with the whole idea of splitting up, but that was probably because he was the smart one that would be picked off in a true horror movie. Even so, we split up, both of us armed just in case, and then I saw two people tied to trees as offerings: a very attractive female that looked scared out of her mind, and then none other than Dean himself. At first the girl thought I was the scarecrow come to get them, but one look at me and she realized I was there to save them—maybe she noted the excited look on Dean's face too.

"Thank God! I knew I was much too pretty to die by the hands of that ugly thing!" Dean exclaimed, motioning his head in the direction of the scarecrow.

I smiled and nodded. "You know, that thing is even _fuglier_ from far away if you can believe it."

Dean looked up at me and smiled, and I squatted, and set my gun on the ground. "I can believe it—the guy gives fugly a bad name."

"It seems you got yourself into quite a mess without me. It seems this is what you get for leaving me sleeping." I told him and I laughed a little and then gave him a look as I started to work on the bindings on his wrists.

He smirked, and then his fear took over. "Hey, you could cut me down, you know, _before_ the scarecrow comes alive."

"What scarecrow?" Sam asked from behind me.

I looked towards where the scarecrow had been, and then moved a little quicker than I had been moving before to get Dean untied, and then hurried over to untie the girl as Sam and Dean headed to the Impala to get Dean a gun as well. We needed to hunt this thing down and kill it once and for all, and after grabbing the girl to get her to safety, we all split up a little again, me on my own away from the group. I really hadn't intended to be separated from the others, but I didn't really have a choice at this point and I knew it.

Part of me had felt something on the wind—something I was supposed to listen to, but it wasn't the way it should have been…something was different. When I looked around, no one was there, and I felt that my legs were suddenly lead and I sat on the ground. Sometimes this happened and I just had to accept it but not right now—not in the middle of a hunt where I needed to have my wits about me. This was no time for the spirits of dead parents to be angry with me for giving up on what I was being told to do.

"Don't come to me now." I whispered, knowing my parents could hear me.

"Remember what you promised." Marcus whispered on the air.

I swallowed and nodded. "I remember, Dad."

"Don't let him win." Bethany replied and I found my legs able to work and I stood up and nodded slowly.

"I promise." I replied, and then I opened my eyes and the breeze stopped.

There were things about it I understood, and things about it I still didn't, and it was about time I came clean to Sam and Dean about _all_ of it. If there was one thing I had learned over the years, it was that I was a liability, and I needed to be honest with the people that I surrounded myself with. Jen had always been able to take care of herself, and it was our common bonds that we shared in Junior High that bonded us together forever, and if Sam and Dean were going to be my new family, then they needed to know too…they needed to be made aware.

Shaking the thoughts away because there were more important things to focus on, I hurried through the words and ended up back at the trees that the girl and Dean had been tied to. Apparently burning the tree would make the scarecrow go away forever, so we were all on board with it and let her do it since her family had been the ones to turn on her and sacrifice her. That was one area where Sam, Dean and I differed from these people…there was absolutely _no_ way in Hell that we would _ever_ sell each other out, and I was grateful for that…grateful for them.

"Oh my God! Your eye looks so much worse now then it did before." I told Dean.

He nodded a little and shrugged. "This is what happens when a sheriff beats you in the eye with the butt of his rifle."

I made a face. "I'm really sorry, Dean."

Dean waved it off and we all looked around at the lighter morning sky, and then helped the girl back home. She got herself all together and then we took her to the bus stop, seeing her off on the bus and then turning to each other. There were some things that we all needed to sort out together, and I was a little worried about how all of this was going to go down. I didn't know how they were going to react to me, or what they were going to do when they found out, but I knew that I had to trust them no matter what.

"So I guess we all need some answers." I said out loud.

"I think that's an understatement." Sam told me with a nod. "I mean what the Hell happened to the three of us?"

Dean took a breath and shrugged. "I think its obvious, don't you? We lost sight of the most important thing—killing the things that go bump in the night."

"That's not what Sam and I meant, and I think you know that, Dean." I told him firmly and then stuck my hands in my back pockets. "What's with you two anyway? I've been having the worst dreams lately, and then you two not calling me back, and not answering—it was a bit unsettling. I know that it was _my_ idea to run off and go back home, but I told you I would be back and you two promised to keep in touch and not even my own _boyfriend_ called me back. What exactly does that say?"

"That you don't put out enough?" Dean offered with a playful shrug.

Sam and I both shot Dean looks, but we knew he was just trying to _not_ have a serious conversation that we all _needed_ to have. It was simply in his nature to shut off the feelings and we got that because it made his job easier to do—the killing and all of it—but at the same time there should have been a certain level of emotions…a certain agreement between the three of us. We were going to have to deal with each other all the time, and we needed to be honest with each other…needed to act like adults.

"I wanted you to do what you needed to do for your parents, Lan—even Dean understood that you had to do what you had to do." Sam explained, placing his hand on my waist and drawing my body close to his, resting his chin on the top of my head. "We knew we needed to give you your space and we did just that…we didn't mean to worry you."

Dean nodded slowly. "I think I understand better than _anyone_ what it means to do what your parents say—even if its blindly following orders."

"Yeah, but to be fair when she got here, you shouldn't have left her asleep." Sam told Dean. "She could have saved your ass."

"Or gotten sacrificed with me." Dean pointed out and then he shrugged.

Sam nodded and then smiled at him. "Good point. It's a good thing he left you sleeping."

Dean smiled and nodded and then told Sam he was welcome and they both headed towards the Impala like nothing had happened between them. I couldn't just wave it all off like they could though—I had to know what we were all going to do now, and I had to explain to them about what was going on with me. If things with me were going to get worse, then they had to understand that and they had to be prepared…they had to be ready for what was going to come and they had to accept me, or I had to go back to the original arrangement with Jen.

"Guys, there are still things to discuss." I told them stubbornly, not moving towards the car.

Dean sighed loudly. "Can we talk back at the motel, please? I would _really_ appreciate it if we could get your car to your folks and _then_ have a serious discussion _not_ out in the open."

I nodded slowly and headed towards the Impala. "Fine, fine—for once Dean Winchester brings up a good argument."

Dean grinned. "Hear that, Sam? I'm smart sometimes."

"Sometimes being the key word." Sam replied, and got into the passenger seat and closed the door behind him.

We were all pretty speechless in the car ride to the motel, and then as the boys turned to me to watch me get out to go to my car and then follow me to my aunt's place, I froze. This was the best time to talk to them about everything, and I had to explained things in a way that would give them all of the facts, and yet still keep them protected enough from the truth. My past was dark, and it was sorted, and I knew I could keep them safe…but I didn't know if after this, they would exactly be so keen on me still tagging along with them, and I wanted that more than anything in the world.

"Are you getting out or what?" Dean asked me impatiently.

Sam sighed at him and shot him a look. "Dude, will you give her a minute please? She's looking for a way to tell us something so just chill out."

I smiled a little at Sam and nodded slowly, wishing I had opened up earlier. "Yeah, uh…I have something I need to tell you."

"Great you look _really_ serious." Dean noted, sighing and giving me more of his attention.

I nodded and then I took a deep breath and decided to just go for it. "Look, part of the reason why I haven't opened up about my parents other than saying they died in an accident, was because of the _nature_ of the accident. Well, also because I'm adopted and my birth parents are a really sore subject for me. You see, my father—my real one—he got bitten by a werewolf when he was younger, and so I have some wolfish tendencies. It sounds really retarded, I know, but no one ever caught him, and he didn't know he did any of it, and then married my mom, they had me, he took off, my mother I have no idea what happened to her and…I'm completely normal. See, Jen and I did tests when my adoptive Mom and Dad explained things to me, and I don't transform or kill people, I just…I get weird around full moons when the full spectrum of the wolf instincts kick in. No transformations or anything, I promise you—I'm just in tune with all the supernatural stuff. It's kind of like Peter Parker's spider senses, actually. Instead of going through a transformation, I tend to just, get bombarded with information that I suddenly start to pick up and know, and after three nights—the night before, of, and after the full moon—I'm all better."

Sam and Dean looked at me in shock for a moment, and then they seemed to finally process everything that had just spilled out of my mouth. I was rather thankful for that, but it wasn't the full story and I knew it…but maybe it was just better for now to let them chew on that for a while. After all, Sam had just found out that the reason his girlfriend was so messed up was because she had weird, tainted blood, and he was going to have to figure out with he was all right with that or not…and I really hoped that he would be all right with that, because I liked being his girlfriend.

"Um…so the accident…?" Dean asked me finally. "The one with your adoptive parents?"

I nodded slowly. "Someone found out about who I really was, and retaliated. I blame myself everyday for that fire and that's part of why I listen to them when they come to me in my dreams."

"Oh God…you have freaky dreams too?" Dean asked me with a groan. "I have no idea why I even find that endearing."

"It's because you're impressed she can handle it all and not go crazy." Sam told him, reaching out and holding my hand. "Besides, its spirits talking to her, so it's not so freaky thing and you know it."

Dean shrugged and nodded slowly. "True…it's more just she should salt and burn the bones of her parents."

"Not that simple Dean, and please be a little more considerate about the dead, all right?" Sam asked him.

I couldn't help but smile at the two because I appreciated them much more than they knew. It was already quite obvious to me that they accepted me for who I was and not for what my blood defined me as, Dean was just trying to make the situation lighter than it was, and that was his coping mechanism. Sam had already heard part of my confession, and he seemed completely un-phased by the other part of it now that he'd had time to process—I was just Lana Meckenzie to them, and that was the way that I wanted it to stay, and it looked like for now, that was how it was going to be.

"So did you ever find who killed your parents?" Dean asked me slowly. "Or is that why you're telling us this now?"

I smiled a little sadly. "I'm telling you because sometimes I'm going to have to go and do things and you aren't going to understand why I have to do them. There's so much that I still don't understand, and I won't until I actually find my real parents…well my mother. No one knows what happened to her, and Jen and I have hit dead end, after dead end, after dead end—the woman either didn't exist, or she's _damn_ good at hiding."

"Sound like someone we know?" Sam asked Dean.

Dean sighed loudly. "Sadly, yes, but now that the care and share is over can we please get your car to your family member's house and then be on our way? I mean there are other things to fight, and other places to see."

"And other waitresses to romp with?" I asked him with a laugh.

"Well that's a given." Dean replied with a grin.

I rolled my eyes and laughed and then hopped out of the backseat, and drove to my Aunt Debra's and I dropped the car off in her driveway and looked up towards the door. I really wanted her to meet the Winchester's, but I didn't want her to give anything away to them that I wasn't quite ready to share yet. There were still things that I needed to protect them from, and I very desperately needed them to understand more about me before I was able to come clean _completely_ about my past.

"She hates rude people." I told the boys when they came to stand next to me, looking at the house. "Other than that, she's rather friendly—and I mean she'll grab your ass."

Dean laughed. "Well if she's hot, I don't mind that."

I rolled my eyes and held Sam's hand, smiling up at him as he smiled down at me. "I think she's really going to like _you_ at least."

**Note: I would like to apologize now…this chapter is just as long as the last one. =S Its the NEXT one that's the longer chapter. Sorry for that. More soon!**


	7. I Can't Lose You

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This is where the story gets more into a 'triangle', triangle, so it gets more angsty.**

**And it's less Lana being horny about both of them.**

**She has made her choice and now the three have to cope.**

**They have to cope, and someone changes his mind…**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

xxxx

Dean and Sam parked the car in front of an abandoned house and retrieved weapons from the trunk. We had been keeping to the three of us lately, and even when nights resorted in me and Sam cuddling _while_ we talked to Dean, the three of us were getting to know each other better. Now we were at the end of a rather tiring hunt, and the boys were getting out the strong taisers, and I was making sure all of my research was par.

"So, the strong ones?" I asked them as they were getting the taisers out of the back.

"Yeah." Dean replied with a nod.

"I really don't think this is a good idea." I told them, looking at the strong taisers that could only be used once. "Because I really think there's another way to go about it."

"We'll be fine." Sam assured me, and kissed me swiftly. "How about you stay here?"

I really hated having to be the look-out, but sometimes it was my job, and I mostly accepted it. To be fair, Sam and Dean were far more experienced than I was when it came to hunting, so if they told me to stay behind, I gave them very little distress about it. I was starting to give them more grief about it in some situations, but still didn't feel like it was entirely my place yet these days.

I frowned at him when he pulled his lips away. "And miss the fun?"

"We can handle it, and you've been doing all the researching." Dean told me with a shrug. "Just hang out here and be look-out."

"All right. Fine. I'll stay." I told them with a sigh.

"Good." Sam said kissing me swiftly and then leaving with Dean to go and find the demon we were tracking.

I sat in the car while the boys went into the house, and decided to call Jen, but all I got was her answering machine, so I left a message. She'd been pretty distant since her parents had her doing some online classes since she was taking time off from hunting now that I had a new 'crew' to run with, and I really couldn't blame her parents for wanting to keep her safe. When I hung up though, I looked up to see Sam coming towards me fast, and I hurriedly got out of the car to meet him as he came towards me.

"Where's Dean?" I asked him in a panicked voice as I noted his worried face.

"Call 911 now, Lan!" Sam told me frantically.

I didn't ask questions, I just dialed and got an ambulance, learning that Dean had somehow electrocuted himself. At the hospital, Sam gave the nurse a false credit card, with the name Burkowitz on it, to pay the bill and went back to make his statement to two police officers. He told them that we had taken a shortcut that took them by that house and we heard screaming, so we stopped and found the kids in the basement. Sam put an end to his statement to go talk to the doctor who told him that the electrocution triggered a heart attack and Dean's heart was damaged, and I found myself getting teary eyed and Sam grasped my hand because he knew how much I cared for Dean.

"How damaged? Sam asked the doctor.

"We've done all we can." The doctor answered. "We can try and keep him comfortable at this point, but I give him a couple of weeks at most, maybe a month."

"No, no, there's…there's got to be something you can do, some kind of treatment." Sam replied, doing his best to hold back his tears as some leaked out of my eyes.

The doctor gave him a rather sorry look. "We can't work miracles. I really am sorry."

"Oh God." I told no one in particular, sitting in a nearby chair. "I should have gone with you two and stopped this from happening."

"No Lan, don't think like that. Let's just go and visit him okay?" Sam asked me.

He was trying to be so strong for me and I wished he wouldn't, because honestly as much as I cared about Dean and was devastated at what was happening, but I wanted Sam to be able to cope in his own way without worrying about me. Our relationship was definitely not one-sided, and I wanted him to know that if he needed to show something, I was here for him—he, unlike Dean, actually talked about how he was feeling without making jokes about it. Even so, he wanted to be strong for Dean too, and so he grasped my hand and we went into Dean's room and found him busy watching television, knowing we came in, but keeping his eyes fixed on the TV.

"You actually watch daytime TV? It's terrible." Dean told us with a slight smile in his tone as he spoke to us.

"I talked to your doctor." Sam answered in a voice full of sadness.

"That fabric softener teddy bear, ooh I'm gonna hunt that little bitch down." Dean said, and I sat next to him on the bed, Sam watching us.

"Dean?" Sam asked him.

Dean looked at him and turned the TV off, shifting a little as my fingers found their way into his hair. "Yeah, all right, well, looks like you're gonna leave town without me."

"What are you talking about? I'm not gonna leave you here." Sam replied.

Dean gave him a look when Sam stood his ground firmly and I was surprised actually that Dean would honestly think we would just take off without him. We were family, and there was absolutely no way that Sam and I were going to leave him behind when he had limited time to live. We were planning on spending our time with him, and trying to figure out how to get him out of this fate because there was _always_ a supernatural answer, and he knew that.

"Hey, you'd better take care of that car or I swear I'll haunt your ass." Dean tried to joke.

"I don't think that's funny." Sam replied, tears in his eyes.

I shook my head and sniffled a little, holding it together as best I could. "Sam's right…the joke isn't funny, Dean."

"Oh c'mon, it's a little funny." He told Sam who tried to form half a smile but above all was just trying to hold back his tears. "Look Sam, what can I say, man? It's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw, that's it, end of the story."

I bit my lip and did a rather good job at keeping the tears at bay, wishing I had more time with him, and wishing he wasn't being so cavalier about all of it. Dean was not supposed to die on me already—I hadn't even gotten to have the kind of time with him that I wanted, and I wished desperately that Dean and I had more time to spend together. I was losing one of my really good friends, and I really wanted Sam and Dean to have more time to get to know each other too…after all they were getting to know each other again after their fall-out when Sam went to college.

"Don't talk like that, alright? We still have options." Sam explained as I nodded.

"What options? You got burial or cremation." He told Sam who shook his head. "No, I know it's not easy… but I'm gonna die and you can't stop it."

I looked at Dean and we made eye contact as I stroked his hair. "Watch us."

Sam nodded and after he and I exchanged looks with each other and he nodded, he left the room and I sat there looking at Dean, and he looked up at the television again. Every time the two of us got into a situation like this, I was the one who had to try and start the conversation because Dean hated having intimate talks and I needed it. This was serious and I didn't want to lose him and he knew it, but he had to cope with it all by making jokes, and I was going to have to deal with that.

"This really is crap." He said, looking at me for a moment as I wiped the escaped tears away and gave a brave smile.

I lay there next to him and curled up with him, knowing that if I tried to talk, my feelings would pour out of me and it might just make him feel worse. I knew him well enough to know that if I just started spilling my guts out, then he would start to lose it and he really didn't want to right now…but part of me needed it. Whether he liked it or not, Dean Winchester meant something to me and if he really was going to die, then he needed to have the decency to have a personal conversation with me.

"Come on, where's my brave girl?" He asked me after a pause. "I mean even Sam was holding it in better then you. And why aren't you with your boyfriend anyway?"

He laid down a little bit and held me, and I snuggled into him and tried to form the words in my head because I really didn't know how to make them come out. I simply wanted to spend time with him because something bad had happened to him that I was responsible for, and I felt like I really needed to be here for him. Sam was my boyfriend, but he also understood that Dean meant a lot to me, and I could make it up to Sam later, but for now Dean needed me…and I needed him.

"Don't try to think too much—it might hurt." I told him with a smile on my face, snuggling into him. "Sam and I are fine I just want to make sure that _you're_ all right. You are, right? I mean besides the knowing that you're going to die?"

Dean kissed my forehead. "I'm going to be fine, Lanni."

I looked at him and smiled a little more, the tears coming back and him shaking his head and kissing my forehead again, holding me closer. He'd just given me a nickname and part of me felt like it was because he knew he was dying, but the other part of me was pretty certain that he just honestly felt that right in that moment, he and I were connected, and it was time he made me feel like he actually cared. Dean wiped my tears away with his thumbs and then made a joke and I rolled my eyes and got off of the hospital bed, heading to the motel room with Sam.

"How is he doing?" Sam asked me when I shut the door behind me.

I shrugged a little. "He's not actually _coping_ if that's what you want you want to know."

Sam nodded sadly. "Yeah…that was what I wanted to know. Hey…are you all right, Lan?"

I smiled at him as genuinely as I could. "Me? Yeah…I'll be all right. You should call your dad."

"Already done." He said, and came over to me and placed his hands on my shoulders.

I let him gather me up in his arms and stroke my hair, and I suddenly realized that when Dean was gone, Sam and I would only have each other. If there was anything that I knew right in that minute, it was that as much as we needed Dean, and as much as we were sure that we could get him out of this and keep him with us, we would always have each other after he was gone. There was an unspoken agreement there to take care of each other, and I never felt closer to either of them than right in that moment.

"I'm so glad I know you two." I told Sam, looking up at him and smiling as he looked down at me and ran his fingers over my face. "You really don't understand how much I appreciate you, Sammy."

Before he could answer me I'd leaned up for a kiss, and Sam needed the emotional release as much as I did. Besides, we'd both been kind of working up to this physical milestone for a little while now, and though I had kind of hoped it wouldn't be partially because we were in need of cheering up, I knew that deep down it was something both of us had been wanting, and we were both willing. Sam was so sweet, and so considerate, and he asked me _twice_ if this was something that I wanted…he really wanted to make sure I wasn't just trying to make _him_ feel better.

I smiled at him and I pulled my shirt off, Sam nodding as he smiled and pulling his off too, both of us standing there with our tops off, our eyes meeting as he stepped up close to me. The eye contact was only broken so that I could look at his pecks, running my fingers along them and wondering how I came to be the way that I was now. Once drunken night and suddenly sex was just kind of sex…there was nothing really magical about it anymore…nothing sacred anyway. I'd gone all the way through High School with one boyfriend…and we never had sex because I was saving myself.

One of Sam's hands traveled down my body to the zipper on my jeans and I watched him unzip it as I realized that there was a reason for everything I was doing. I honestly believed in fate, and I believed in karma, and I believed that there was a plan laid out for everything and even though it was my fault I let myself be deflowered, there was nothing _wrong_ with sex. Sam and I were in a committed relationship, and the majority of the world did this in their relationships all the time, and even though it complicated things, it could bring people closer together.

"You're thinking a lot." Sam told me, slipping his long fingers down low which made me close my eyes and claw at his pecks a little at the invasion.

I bit my lip and then composed my thoughts as his finger dipped and stroked inside of me, putting my senses into overdrive. "Are you sure _you're_ ready to do this…I don't want to hurt your heart anymore than it's already hurt by making you regret something."

Truth was I'd be rather upset if he just simply pulled his finger out and then pulled away and made everything stop. I was on autopilot now and he couldn't turn me off if he wanted to, and he seemed to like it that way. He responded to my words by using his free hand to cup my chin, bringing me in for a kiss as his invading finger pushed a little farther in and made me moan against his mouth. Why did _both_ of the Winchester boys _have_ to be experienced when it came to sex? Damn them.

We quickly got each other out of the remaining obstacles and made it to the bed, Sam stroking my hair and me tugging at his softly as we continued to bruise each other's mouths with kisses as we merged. He moved against me deliberate and slow, and when neither of us could really take anymore of it, Sam held me close to him and kissed me soft and slow as we tried to process the last two go's. It had helped us to cope in our time of need, and it had felt incredible, but something was off and we both knew it…but we were far too dependant on each other to say anything about it.

xxxx

Three days later, Sam and I were in the hotel room and Sam tried to call his father, but he got the voice mail again. It was becoming a rather regular habit for John to ignore calls, and I was kind of getting sick and tired of it because I really thought he should care more about his own children. Dean was dying, and John didn't have the decency to pick up _or_ to call back, so what did that _really_ say about him? I mean honestly…what kind of father would do something like that?

"Hey Dad, it's Sam. Hmm, you probably won't get this but…it's Dean." Sam sighed. "He's sick and…doctors say there's nothing they can do. Hmm, but they don't know the things we know, right? So don't worry 'cause I'll do whatever it takes to get him better. Right, I just wanted you to know."

He hung up and dropped the phone as I came and sat next to him, feeling like I should really be of more help than I was being. Sam and I had found a few things that we wanted to go over with Dean, but first we were trying to get a hold of John again and to no avail. So I ran my fingers through Sam's hair and smiled at him as he kissed me softly, knowing then and there that my presence really was enough as far as Sam was concerned. Now all we had to do was go and talk to Dean about what we had finally com across, that we were sure would save Dean's life—and _that_ was what we were _really_ set on.

"At least Joshua called you back about saving Dean." I told him, running my nose along his. "That's all that matters right now—that we have an option."

Sam nodded, and held me close, and I returned the embrace and ran my fingers along his scalp as we sat there on the motel couch and thought things over. All I needed was to be here for him, and he was always going to be there for me, no matter what happened, and for this moment he needed comfort because his father was ignoring him. Suddenly somebody knocked on the door, which surprised us because why would someone be looking for us? It surprised us even more when Sam opened the door and Dean was standing there.

"Are you crazy?" Sam asked as I got up to go to Dean.

"I'm not going to die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot." Dean answered.

Sam and I saw right through his attitude and Sam pointed it out to him as I helped him to sit down. Dean wanted to go through the journal just in case there was anyway that we could get him out of this since he knew Sam and I had been trying to do just that, and I piped up about Joshua. I told him that Joshua called Sam back and told him about a guy in Nebraska—a 'specialist' as Sam put it.

"You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you?" Dean asked us with a slight chuckle, and we knew he was grateful for it.

I shook my head as Sam said, "We're not gonna let you die period. We're going."

Even though he put up a little bit of fuss because he was Dean Winchester and it was in his nature to do just that, we headed out to see the specialist because even more than he wanted to be difficult, Dean wanted to be saved. So when we got to the place, we parked the car near a tent a lot of suffering people were heading for, and I hurried over to the passenger door to help Dean out of the car. Sam got there as Dean shook his head at me and reached out to help Dean get out of the car, but Dean pushed him away and then looked around annoyed.

Dean gave Sam a look. "Man, you're a lying bastard. Thought you said we were going to see a doctor?"

"I believe he said a 'specialist'." I told him with a smile on my face.

"Look Dean, this guy is supposed to be the real deal." Sam pleaded with him. "Lan and I spent a _lot_ of time trying to make sure he was the real deal so we wouldn't get your hopes up too much."

"I can't believe you brought me here to see some guy who heals people out of a tent." Dean argued.

One of the people heading towards the tent heard Dean and said, "Reverend Le Grange is a great man."

"Yeah, that's nice." Dean retorted.

I gave Dean a look and he shrugged his shoulders at me, not really in the mood to argue with me about him being rude or not. Since he was dying I had to let it go, and as we walked, we passed a protester who was distributing tracts. It was sort of nice to see that not everyone followed the flock, but at the same time, Dean really didn't need anything else detouring him from what Sam and I were trying to accomplish here.

"I take that he's not a part of the flock." Dean said ironically.

"Well when people see something they can't explain, there's controversy." Sam protested with a shrug.

Dean gave Sam a look. "C'mon Sam! A faith healer!"

"Maybe it's time to have a little faith Dean." Sam told him.

"You know what I've got faith in? Reality. Knowing what's really going on." Dean explained to his brother.

The boys and I had never actually sat down and talked about faith before, but it seemed like one of those things that really honestly needed to be discussed. I was huge on faith—it was one of those things that really kept me going, and it was kind of heartbreaking to see that Dean really wasn't a believer at all. At least Sam was more open to it, and since we were the ones in the relationship, that was a good thing, but for some reason I really felt like Dean really needed to put some faith in things he couldn't explain and I couldn't help but dwell on that.

"How can you be a skeptic with the things we see everyday?" Sam asked him.

"Exactly," Dean answered in a lower voice, "we _see_ them. We know they're real."

Sam nodded slowly. "But if you know Evil's out there, how can you not believe Good's out there too?"

Dean was ready with his answer _there_. "Because I've seen what Evil does to good people."

"Maybe God works in mysterious ways." A young woman said.

"Exactly." I agreed with her.

Since I was with Sam, the feelings of jealousy as Dean turned to look at the beautiful blonde woman that festered in my stomach were unacceptable. Dean was allowed to look at whomever he wanted and for some reason since Sam and I actually started dating, I'd never really been too jealous—not until I thought I was going to lose Dean. It wasn't healthy to have these feelings for him when I was with his brother, but for some reason right then I really couldn't shake them off and it unnerved me.

"Maybe he does." Dean replied with a small smile. "I think you just turned me around on the subject."

She smiled at him and I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"I'm Dean." He said holding out his hand. "This is Sam, and this is Lana."

"Layla." She answered and then her tone changed a little. "So, if you're not a believer, then why are you here?"

"Apparently, my brother believes enough for the both of us." He replied, which made Sam smile. "And I can't very well tell Lana I won't do this for them."

I was rather happy to hear that mine and Sam's opinions meant so much to him—even if he was still flirting with her—and it made Sam happy too and that was what mattered. As long as Dean was here and willing to receive whatever help we were willing to get him, that meant that he was going to stay with me and Sam that much longer. This had to work…Sam and I had faith in it and if there was one thing neither of us was willing to live without yet, it was definitely Dean.

"C'mon Layla, it's about to start." A woman that looked like her mother told her.

We went into the tent where a notice was displayed: "Welcome all faiths – True believers revival."

"Yeah peace, love and trust all over." Exclaimed Dean, nodding his head in the direction of a surveillance camera.

I rolled my eyes a little and then the three of us looked for seats and it was no surprise that Dean wanted to sit in the back of the room, but Sam and I made him sit closer to the stage. Sam and I were determined to make this work, and so we wanted Dean to be as close to the faith healer as possible, and though he protested, he did in fact sit with us. Then, Reverend Roy Le Grange started his speech and we were all ears, even Dean, who wasn't believing us.

"Each morning, my wife Sue Ann reads me the news; it never seems this good, does it? It seems like there's always someone committing some immoral, unspeakable act, but I say to you: God is watching. And God rewards the good and he punishes the corrupt. It is the Lord who does the healing here, friends, the Lord who guides me in choosing who to heal by helping me see into people's hearts…" He was saying.

"Or into their wallets." Dean said leaning towards Sam, and I sighed.

"You think so, young man?" Roy asked.

Dean looked around and then up at Roy. "Sorry."

"No, no, don't be. Just watch what you say around a blind man, we've got real sharp ears. What's your name, son?" He asked.

"Dean." Dean replied.

"Dean, I want you…I want you to come up here with me." Roy said with a smile on his face and Sam and I couldn't help but smile too.

Our plan looked like it was going to work, and even though Layla's mother seemed very disappointed, everybody applauded. The look on Dean's face was disconcerting, and I was pretty sure he wasn't on board with it but everybody applauded to encourage Dean to climb onto the stage.

"No, it's okay." He answered Roy.

"What are you doing?" Sam and I asked him.

Roy nodded and smiled a little. "You've come here to be healed, haven't you?"

"Oh yeah, but um…maybe you should just pick someone else." Dean answered with a wave of his hand.

"I didn't pick you, Dean, the Lord did." Roy told him.

"Get up there!" Sam insisted and Dean complied to loud applause as I motioned my head to the stage and pointed sternly.

There was a slight smirk on Dean's voice as the commandingness came out in me, and he got up and Sam and I let out a sigh of relief. The slight smirk was gone when Sam and I grasped hands, and then he went on stage and I tried really hard not to get my hopes up, but I had to believe that Dean would be healed by this. He just had to be…I wasn't willing to be without him yet…I still needed Dean Winchester.

"You ready?" Roy asked Dean as Dean stood before him.

Dean laughed a little. "Yeah, look no disrespect but I'm not exactly a believer."

"You will be son, you will be." Roy told him with a smile on his face.

Then Roy invited the faithful to pray with him and he laid his hand on Dean's forehead and suddenly I felt like this was a bad idea and I tensed up. Dean didn't seem too well and he fell down to his knees, and I started towards the stage a little, but Sam held out his hand to stop me as the feeling got worse in the pit of my stomach, and my feelings were almost never wrong. When Dean suddenly collapsed, Sam and I rushed to the stage and tried to get Dean to come around and when he did, he seemed like he was seeing something, but there was nothing in the area that he was looking in…but the feeling still remained and that worried more than anything.

xxxx

After the healing session, we all went to the hospital to make sure that Dean's condition had definitely improved. Sam and I were banking everything on this and Dean was rather annoyed and wanted us to stop doting on him and making such a fuss, but we couldn't help it. Dean even _looked_ better than he had when he was dying, and so we were pretty certain that whatever Roy had done had worked, and we were excited for him and his 'new chance at life'.

"So you really feel okay?" Sam asked Dean.

"I feel fine, Sam." Dean answered him with a sigh.

I ran my fingers through Dean's hair and then squeezed his hand. "You're sure?"

"Yes, Lana." Dean told me, kissing my hand and then letting it go when he caught the look Sam was giving us since he knew our somewhat strange history.

We couldn't very well dwell on it too long though because Dean was started to get sick and tired of our constant babying, and the doctor came into the room. I don't think Dean had ever been so happy to see someone else in his life, and I couldn't help but smile a little at him as he gave her his full attention. It wasn't even a flirting attention either—he just really needed someone other than me and Sam talking to him right then.

The doctor smiled at him. "Well, according to all your tests, there's nothing wrong with your heart. No sign there ever was. Not that a man your age should have heart trouble but, still it's strange it does happen."

"What do you mean 'strange'?" Dean asked her after a moment with a look on his face I had already come to understand.

"Oh, just yesterday a young guy like you, 27, athletic, I don't know, had a heart attack." She answered with a small shrug.

Dean waited until the doctor left to speak again. "That's odd."

"Maybe it's coincidence. People's hearts give up all the time, man." Sam told him.

"No, they don't." Dean answered him and shot him a look.

The look in Dean's eyes was _quite_ unmistakable _now_, and I really wanted to just get as far away from here as I could, but the feelings in my stomach didn't want to be ignored. Sadly, there was something supernatural here and I was pretty sure that Dean knew that and because he was such a stubborn bastard, he was going to argue with Sam and me until he was blue in the face. I just wanted to take this miracle and run with it, because if the death was connected to Dean's recovery, Dean would never truly forgive himself for it, and I would hate to see him do that to himself.

"Let's not look into this much further in the direction you're going." I said suddenly, wanting to change the subject desperately and take Dean out of the hospital.

"I agree with Lana. Look Dean, do we have to look this one in the mouth? Why can't we be just thankful at the guy who saved your life and move on?" Sam asked him with a sigh.

Dean gave him a look. "Because I can't shake this feeling, that's why."

"What feeling?" Sam and I asked together.

Dean took a breath. "When I was healed, I just…I felt wrong, I felt cold and for a second, I saw someone. This old man, I'm telling you Sam, it was a spirit."

And there we had it—Dean had seen something rather supernatural, I had a feeling something was wrong, and now we were going to sucked into a hunt. It wasn't that I didn't want to help out, I really did, but I just didn't know how I felt about Dean going right into another hunt practically with a brand new heart. Still, this was no time to be selfish because I was a hunter, and hunters always put everything else before themselves…it was just the way.

"But if there was something there, Dean, I think I would have seen him too. Man, I've been seeing an awful lot of things lately." Sam replied with another sigh.

"Oh excuse me, Psychic Wonder, you just need a little faith on this one. Sam, I've been hunting long enough to trust a feeling like this." Dean answered.

"Is that what you were looking at?" I asked Dean and at first he was confused, but he nodded. "Fabulous…I was getting my feelings and so…I think Dean might actually be onto something Sam, as much as I don't want to deal with it either."

Dean nodded slowly. "Why don't you go check out the heart attack guy, Sam and Lana and I can go to visit the reverend."

"It sounds like a fool-proof enough plan to me—_someone_ has to keep an eye on the guy that almost crapped out on us." I replied.

Sam smiled and nodded, and then Dean and I went to Roy's and told him Dean would be fine but that he wanted to make sense of what happened. According to Sue Ann, it was a miracle—which was apparently the case around her husband. When Dean asked him when the miracles started, Roy explained that one day he woke up and he was blind and the doctors figured out he had cancer and gave him one month to live. So he and his wife prayed for a miracle and when he got too weak, he asked Sue Ann to keep praying and he ended up going into a coma and the doctors thought he wouldn't wake up but he did and his cancer was gone, his blindness being the only proof he'd been sick.

"And suddenly you could heal people?" Dean asked him curiously.

"I discovered it afterwards, yeah. God blessed me in many ways." Roy answered.

Sue Ann smiled and took her husband's hand. "And his flock just swelled over night and this is just the beginning."

"Can I ask you one last question?" Dean asked Roy after a pause.

"Of course, you can." Roy told him.

Dean nodded and then found the right words. "Why? Why me? Out of all those sick people, why save me?"

I had a feeling that the question would come sooner or later, and I squeezed Dean's hand and he grasped it back because whether he'd admit it or not, he needed the closeness, and he needed the reassurance. He and I made eye contact as Roy smiled and began to explain what it was that he did and how he did it, and I couldn't help but smile softly at Dean as Dean focused his attention on the man.

"Oh, like I said before, the Lord guides me. I looked into your heart and you just stood out from all the rest." Roy explained to him.

Dean nodded slowly. "What did you see in my heart?"

"A young man with an important purpose, a job to do and it isn't finished." He told Dean with a small nod.

I smiled at the words he spoke. "And he saw right."

"I've been meaning to ask you, miss, what is your name?" Roy asked me.

I hadn't actually thought that Roy knew I was there entirely even though his wife had mentioned I was there, but it was nice that his smile on me was so fond. This man couldn't be connected to anything bad as far as I was concerned, but it was because I truly wanted to have faith in his healing powers. He was the kind of man I would go to listen to, and part of me felt bad that we were here gathering information to use for a hunt…a hunt where we weren't sure _what_ we were hunting.

"This is Lana—she's one of the only things I have true faith in." Dean said, and I blushed…I hadn't been expecting that.

"Well you keep her around—she's the light at the end of the tunnel." Roy told him.

I blushed some more and smiled. "Well thank you very much for that."

Dean smiled at me and we made eye contact and it felt like we were both finally understanding each other, and then we turned to Roy and thanked him for everything. He had given me Dean back and I couldn't be more grateful to him at all. Roy and Sue Ann wished us the very best and then we began to leave the house and in doing so, we ran into Layla. She seemed pleased to see us, and I smiled at her because she was so friendly and kind and I really wished her the best.

"How are you feeling?" Layla asked Dean.

"I feel good. Cured, I guess. What are you doing here?" Dean asked her.

Layla smiled. "You know, my mom, she wanted to talk to the reverend."

"Layla?" Sue Ann asked her from the front door.

"Yes, here again." Layla answered her.

It took me a moment to figure it out, but I was starting to understand something about Layla—not only did she have a lot of faith, but she was waiting for a miracle. The miracle she was searching for was going to come to her from Reverend Roy, and she was so hopeful, and Dean hadn't been. The sadness of _his_ revelation of that only flashed in his eyes for a moment, but I knew it was only because he was trying to have a conversation with her that wasn't _too_ meaningful.

"I'm sorry but Roy is resting, and he won't be seeing anyone else right now." Sue Ann told her plainly.

"Sue Ann, please." Layla's mother begged. "This is our 6th time. He's got to see us."

"Roy is well aware of Layla's situation and he very much wants to help, just as soon as the Lord allows. Have faith, Mrs. Roarke." Sue Ann said before going back inside.

Mrs. Roarke was very disappointed and angry with Dean. "Why are you still even here? You got what you wanted."

"Mom, stop." Layla intervened.

I understood her fury and her sadness because she was a mother and she wanted her daughter to be healed, but I really wished she wouldn't take it out on Dean. It probably seemed rather unfair that Dean had showed up out of nowhere and gotten healed and here they were trying again and again just to get in and see him. I felt for her, but honestly? Honestly I wouldn't have had it any other way because I selfishly needed Dean alive.

"No Layla, this is too much. We've been to every single service. If Roy would stop choosing strangers over you, strangers who don't even believe… I just can't pray any harder." She told her daughter rather dejected.

Dean was feeling guiltier now. "Layla, what's wrong?"

"I have this thing…" She began.

"It's a brain tumor." Her mother explained. "It's inoperable. In 6 months, the doctors say…"

Dean nodded slowly. "I'm sorry."

Layla smiled at him and shrugged a little. "It's okay."

"No, it isn't. Why do you deserve to live more than my daughter?" She asked, and then left, Layla following her.

I took Dean's hand and leaned into him, running my hand up and down his arm to reassure him that he wasn't alone in this and it wasn't his fault. He knew what I was trying to tell him with my body language and he didn't believe me, but he didn't verbally say it at all. He simply squeezed my hand and we walked back to the motel, Dean and I getting into our room to see Sam looking upset, and I suddenly didn't want to know what it was that he had found.

Sam took a breath. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry about what?" Dean asked.

"Marshall Hall died at 4:17." He answered.

I swallowed as I looked over Sam's research. "That's when Dean was healed."

In fact, each time someone had been 'miraculously' healed, someone died at the same time of the same symptoms the person saved by a miracle used to suffer from. It seemed Le Grange was trading a life for another, and Sam had now given the three of us proof of that. Dean began to feel that Marshall Hall died so that he could be saved, and Sam tried to comfort him by saying that Marshall would have died anyway even if someone else got healed, but Dean still felt guilty, so it didn't make any difference in the long run.

"The thing I don't understand," Sam mused, "is how is Roy doing it, how is he trading a life for a life?"

"Oh, he's not doing it. Something else is doing it for him." Dean replied.

Sam looked at him funny. "What do you mean?"

"The old man I saw on stage. I didn't want to believe it but deep down I knew it." Dean said as he thought out loud.

"You knew what? What are you talking about?" Sam asked.

"There's only one thing that can give and take life like that. We're dealing with a Reaper." I answered. "Every culture has one under different names."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "But you said you saw a dude in a suit."

"Oh, what do you think? That he should be working in that old black robe thing? You said it yourself that the clock stopped, right?" Dean asked, showing Sam a picture of a Reaper holding an hourglass that I had found. "Reapers stop time. And you can only see him when he's coming at you, which is why I could see him and you couldn't."

"Maybe." Sam said thoughtfully.

I took a deep breath and sat down on the end of Sam's and my bed and I put my head in my hands because it was all so much more real. Dean had actually almost died, and now we had to stop the man who had saved Dean's life because he was taking the lives of innocent people—he was playing God. Everything about this whole experience was completely bittersweet and I kept feeling conflicted even though I knew that made me the worst kind of person that there was. On the one hand I wanted very badly to leave Roy alone because he had given me Dean back healthy and safe, but on the other hand I had to save the innocents because Roy was going about saving people in the wrong way—he wasn't God.

"There's nothing else it could be Sam. The question is: how is Roy controlling the damn thing?" Dean asked heatedly.

"That cross." Sam told him as he thought about it.

Dean looked at him funny. "What?"

"There is this cross." Sam said searching in a tarot deck. "I know it's in the church, still I know I've seen it before. Here."

"A tarot?" Dean asked as he looked at the card that Sam was showing him.

I nodded slowly and finally looked back at them. "It makes sense."

Sam then explained that tarot dated back to a time of Christianity when some priests were still using black magic, necromancy to push death away or to cause it. Dean took the information in as I tried to figure out what it was that I wanted to ask Sam, and I realized that I knew what he was getting at. There were really only a couple explanations for _how_ Roy was doing what he was doing, and we had to narrow it down to the right one.

"Is Roy using black magic to bind the Reaper?" I asked Sam.

"If he is, he's riding the whirlwind; it's like putting a dog leash on a great white." Sam replied as I nodded in agreement.

Dean nodded slowly. "Okay, then we stop Roy."

"How?" Sam asked.

"You know how." Dean replied almost immediately.

Sam made a face at him. "Hey, what the hell are you talking about? Dean, we can't kill Roy and you know it."

"Sam, the guy's playing God. He's deciding who lives and who dies, that's a monster in my book." Dean told him.

I shot Dean a look and hit the coffee table with my hand. "No, we're not gonna kill a human being Dean. We do that and we're no better than he is."

Dean could tell how upset I was growing and he nodded slowly. "Okay, so we can't kill Roy, we can't kill Death. Any ideas?"

"Okay…if Roy is using some kind of black spell on the Reaper, we've gotta figure out what it is, and how to break it." Sam said, and I nodded because it was far better than killing the old man.

We ended up going to the church—if Roy used a spell, there might be a spell book somewhere. Dean sent Sam and me searching for it while he tried to stop Roy. As for the protester, he was still there distributing tracts. I admired his determination, and since we were pretty sure that Roy was one big fraud his healing didn't actually make up for his taking of life, I was rather on the guy's side at that moment and so were Sam and Dean.

"Roy Le Grange is a fraud, he's no healer." The protester said.

"Amen, brother." Dean retorted.

Sam nodded and added, "You keep up the good work."

"If you try hard enough, I'm sure you'll get through to them." I assured him because I knew when we were done, Roy wouldn't be 'healing' anyone else.

The protestor smiled at us. "Thank you."

Sam and I waited for Roy and Sue Ann to leave their house and then we got in through a window and headed for their library. We didn't really want Dean coming in for fear that he'd lose it and do something we'd _all_ regret later, and so it was up to Sam and I to do the sleuthing at that particular moment. There, Sam noticed on one of the shelf units a place where there was no dust and he deduced from that, that the book placed there was moved recently which was our safest bet…even though it looked unpromising book-wise.

"There's nothing interesting about that book though." I said dismally.

"But look at this." Sam told me.

Behind it, was hidden another book in which Sam found an article about Marshall Hall who was a homosexual teacher, and an article about the young woman who died just after him who was a militant for abortion rights. He also discovered an article about David Wright, the protester who distributed tracts and suddenly it all made sense to me and I realized why I had felt the feelings before—this was wrong and I had to help stop what was going on before it happened again.

"Oh my God—he's going after the people he finds immoral." I said out loud. "He really _is_ playing God, and he's taking it much too far."

Sam nodded and phoned Dean and told him that Roy chose his victims among the people he saw as immoral and how we thought David was going to be the next one. He asked Dean to prevent Roy from healing someone else while he and I tried to find David, whom Sam and I managed to find thanks to his screams, but we couldn't see the Reaper. Dean called us to tell us he had stopped Roy, but it made no difference—he proceeded to tell us that it was in fact Sue Ann that was behind it, and we really believed that Roy had no idea, and thought he was doing it all for the greater good. When we met up again, Sam showed Dean the book we found in the library and we were all pretty sure _exactly_ how to handle this case.

"There's a spell to bind a Reaper in it. All we have to do is find a black altar with human bones and blood." I explained to them.

Sam puffed out a breath of air. "To cross the line like that, a preacher's wife, black magic, murder, evil."

"Desperate." Dean answered. "Her husband was dying and she's done anything to save him. She was using the binding spell to keep the Reaper away from Roy."

"Cheating death literally." Sam said with a nod.

Dean looked at him. "Yeah but Roy is alive so why is she still using the spell?"

"Because she let the power go to her head and she's using the reaper to kill anyone she thinks is immoral." I replied.

Dean shook his head and I knew he hated her, but that he was going to—for Sam and I—simply follow our laid out instructions. This was going to be a little hard to do but if we got it done quickly, everything would be just fine and we could continue on with our lives…a life that Dean now had back. Thankfully Roy wasn't aware of what was going on, and so I felt much better about him saving Dean…even though I knew Dean would never let it go because someone else had to die for him to be saved…because Dean Winchester honestly had a heart.

"Hey, Sue Ann had a cross around her neck." Dean said suddenly.

I smiled at his helpfulness. "All right, so we destroy both the altar and the cross just to be on the safe side."

When we arrived at Roy's, Layla's car was already there and Dean felt guilty again. It was coming in waves from him and I understood it, but I really wanted him to have his wits about him, even though I felt bad for Layla too. What had happened was really upsetting, and I wished that Layla could be healed too, but we weren't like Roy—we couldn't choose who lived and who died just because we cared the way that we did because sometimes life was unfair…and it was me realizing that that made me truly hate myself for my selfishness about Dean being saved before.

"You know, if Roy had picked up Layla instead of me, she'd be healed right now." Dean said suddenly.

"Dean, don't." Sam and I told him.

Dean couldn't stop though. "And if she's not healed tonight, she's gonna die in a couple of months."

"What's happening to her is horrible, but what are you gonna do? Let somebody else die to save her? You said it yourself Dean, you can't play God." Sam told him earnestly.

Dean just closed his mouth and we looked around inside the tent, Roy and the faithful gathered about, but Sue Ann wasn't there. She was the one that we really needed to find so that we could get the cross from around her neck and so Dean sent Sam and me searching for her in the house while he created a diversion to move the policemen away from the house. It was going to be harder than we thought, but we could do it—I had faith in our teamwork and Sam and I found the entrance to the basement and I followed him down there. We found the altar, on which a picture of Dean had been placed, which meant that tonight Dean's life would be traded for Layla's—I could _not_ let that happen.

"I gave your brother life and I can take it away." Sue Ann told us and Sam knocked over the altar, but Sue Ann had time to escape and she locked us in the basement. "Sam, can't you see, the Lord chose me to reward the just and punish the wicked and your brother is wicked and he deserves to die just as Layla deserves to live. It's God's will. Goodbye, Sam. Goodbye, Lana."

"God would never ask you to kill innocent people!" I cried up at her through the locked doors. "That's not your job!"

Sam couldn't manage to open the doors, so we had to find another way to escape. I realized that if there was any time good enough to show some of my hidden talents, then there would never be a good enough time. Then again, I was much more willing to chant a spell silently while Sam hit the doors hard, and then when they in fact gave way, Sam just assumed that he'd done it. It wasn't the time yet to come clean about that and we hurried to Sue Ann, and Sam broke her cross, which stopped the Reaper. Unfortunately without her control over it, the Reaper smiled at Sue Ann and Sam and I couldn't stop it from taking her life.

It was kind of a horrible thing to see, but that was what she got for playing with something as dangerous as dark magic, and Sam and I had to make sure that Dean was all right. He seemed all right considering the Hell he had just been through, and I hugged him tightly and he hugged me back as Sam reached out and rested his hand on his shoulder. Then we went back to the motel to get some sleep, Dean restless and me not able to sleep knowing he was upset even though Sam's arms were locked tightly around me in a fond embrace, and in the morning we began to pack and Sam and I were worried about the expression on Dean's face.

"What is it?" Sam asked him.

"Nothing." Dean replied almost immediately.

I nodded a little and then repeated, "What is it?"

"We did the right thing here, didn't we?" Dean asked Sam and me after a pause.

Sam nodded at him. "Of course, we did."

"It doesn't feel like it." Dean replied.

"It really doesn't, does it?" I asked him as I took a breath and he shook his head.

Someone knocked on the motel door, and then Sam let Layla in—he had called her pretending Dean wanted to tell her goodbye, and Sam and I started to leave the room. I smiled at her as she came out of the room, and I hugged her because I honestly wanted the best for her, and I was very sorry that things hadn't worked out any better for her. Life sometimes handed us things that we had to tough through, and he had a plan for everyone.

"Thank you." She told me. "I've learned something today about God."

"He works in mysterious ways." I told her with a smile. "Just let the faith, guide you. As long as you have faith, the world feels like a better place. I'll keep you in my prayers."

She smiled, and then Sam and I headed out of the room and left Layla to talk to Dean on her own. We lugged our duffles out to the Impala and tossed them into the backseat and then I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned up to kiss him softly, glad he had leaned down halfway. I slid my fingers into his hair and I smiled when he rested his forehead against mine, my eyes closed as I tried to find the words for him.

"I didn't know you believed." He told me.

I nodded and smiled. "I have great faith, Sam."

"I'm beginning to understand that." Sam replied and he stroked my hair. "You are quite smitten with Dean…did you know that?"

"What? I don't see what you're getting at here, Sammy." I told him with a stunned look on my face.

Sam nodded slowly. "I meant it as not what it sounds like…I meant that you are incredibly attached to him—you care for him very deeply."

I could tell by the sound in his voice that he was pleased that I cared about Dean so much, but that he was a little nervous at the same time. It was rather unconventional that I had slept with Dean before dating Sam, and I knew he was a little jealous seeing as how he was my boyfriend and Dean and I were very close, but I really didn't think that he had anything to worry about. As drawn as I was to Dean, and as connected as I felt to him, I was in a relationship with Sam, and I wasn't just going to up and chuck him to the side of the road for his brother.

"I care for you _both_ very deeply." I admitted with a nod.

Sam smiled at me. "I'm going to go pack up the car—check on him please?"

I nodded and with a quick kiss I headed back into the motel room, passing Layla leaving in the hallway. Dean looked up from packing and smiled at me, me trying to keep my body still and resist the urge to hug him but I lost out on the battle. The last two incredibly nail-biting hunts were now over and I could breathe, and Dean wasn't going to die and leave me. I flung my arms around his neck and buried my face in him, him wrapping his arms back around me and running his fingers through my hair.

"I have no idea what I would have done if I had lost you." I whispered to him, trying not to cry. "You have no idea how much you mean to me."

Dean nodded against me. "It's actually nice to know how much you care, Lanni."

I pulled away and smiled at him, my eyes glossed over with tears. "Promise me that next time you won't carelessly get yourself electrocuted, all right?"

Dean rolled his eyes but he chuckled a little. "I promise. Now will you go and ignore the giant please? He's been less cranky on this road trip when his girlfriend was the one nagging him instead of his brother."

"Will do, Dean…so you'll be out soon?" I asked him.

Dean kissed my forehead and then looked me in the eye. "I promise I'm all right, Lana, you don't need to worry about me."

"But I do." I admitted, and he really had no idea just how much I had to.

**Note: I hope you enjoyed the little over 21 page chapter! More very soon!**


	8. Your Heart Is Somewhere Else

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This one changed A LOT in the re-write, but I really do love this story to death, and re-writing it is really keeping me happy.**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

"I think that if we take this route, then we'll be right back on track." I told Sam as Dean was on the phone.

We had stopped off on our way to Pennsylvania because we had lost our way, and we were trying to figure out what to do and where to go. Dean looked kind of detached over on his phone and it was a little troublesome, but all in all it was turning out to be a pretty damn good day. Sam and I were a little distant, but we were trying to keep up the happy façade until we could get alone to talk about things, and I can honestly tell you that the two of us wanted to get to Pennsylvania _really_ badly.

"That seems right." Sam said with a nod.

I smiled at him and then Sam told Dean we had figured out where to go, and then Dean told us that we weren't going to Pennsylvania—we were going to go help out an old friend. Honestly I didn't mind that he wanted to head out to help an old friend, but it was the anxiety he was trying so hard not to show to us that was making me a little nervous. As Dean drove, I sat in the back and I sent Jen an e-mail, and listened to Sam as he talked about a Cassie, and Dean mentioned that they had dated, and I suddenly became very interested—when he talked about her it felt like he had unresolved issues with her. Perhaps she was the one…the one that had Made Dean the way that he was.

"You told her?" Sam asked him suddenly. "The big family secret and you told some chick you dated for a couple weeks?"

I swallowed when I realized that Dean had loved this girl—trusted this girl—enough to tell her the family secret, and I was actually jealous. This had to be why Sam was pulling away from me…he was starting to know me better than I knew myself and I was jealous every time Dean was with another girl, every time Dean talked about other girls…every time Dean looked at me like I was family. I was dating Sam, and I adored Sam, but there was really no head over heels magic love going on with Sam and we both knew it…God I needed to sit down and get my head in gear.

"Are you coming?" Dean asked me finally.

I had been silent the entire drive, and we had finally made it to the police department to meet up with this…Cassie Robinson. Part of me wanted to see her and to meet her and to just do my job since I was desperately trying to be a good hunter, but if I was this jealous without knowing anything about the girl, then there was really no telling as to what I was going to do just meeting her. This was a terribly hard hunt for Dean and I wanted to be there for him but if the green-eyed monster seriously was inhabiting me right then, there was no way I was going to get through this.

I kind of felt like a Mary Sue honestly, and that thought alone was making my insides churn more than realizing I was jealous of Dean. Why should I be jealous of Dean anyway? So what if his pain acknowledged that he in fact had a heart and he in fact _was_ capable of respecting women? I had picked Sam, and things had been great with Sam…up until we'd slept together of course. He and I still needed to discuss that, and I needed to focus on the hunt.

"I'm in the middle of something, just go talk to her, and I'll be here when you get back." I told him.

He nodded slowly, and I could tell that he was a little torn between what he really wanted, but I wasn't going to let him see me in a vulnerable position—I was done with that because all it was getting me lately was hurt. I was making some really terrible decisions, and all I could do right then was be as strong as possible and focus on what could be a hunt. I knew that that meant that I was going to need to talk to Cassie and I was going to need to figure out what was going on here, but I just couldn't bring myself to get my legs to work. So, I did what I had always done in situations like this…I called Jen and I was so relieved that she answered her cell.

"Hey, Lan! How goes the hunting adventure?" Jen asked me, and I could tell she was in the middle of something but making time for me anyway.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "I'm a harlot."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa—you didn't convince them to do a threesome or something did you?" Jen asked me, suddenly alert and focused on me.

"No!" I exclaimed rather loudly, and then calmed down a little. "I just feel like suddenly romance is what matters to me and it has never been that way with me before. I haven't felt this way since Lance, Jenny! Since _Lance_! You have _got_ to talk me down."

"Have you talked to Sam yet about everything?" Jen asked me calmly. "Because until you talk to him about you feeling awkward and him pulling away, nothing is going to get resolved. Besides…I thought you weren't sexually attracted to Dean anymore—since Sam I thought that feeling had passed."

I sighed loudly. "It's not about sleeping with Dean, Jenny…it's about seeing yet another facet of his personality. I want to be close to both of them…I do…but I can't do it without getting too attached. What if I'm crushing on Dean? Like in all seriousness, what if Sam and I just needed emotional closeness from someone other than you and Dean and now I've ruined all of it?"

"That could be it, Lan, but you won't know until you talk about everything and come clean about it all. You won't solve anything by keeping it all to yourself." Jen explained to me.

I nodded because I knew that she was right, and venting had made me think about things a little more clearly. From the moment I had laid eyes on Dean, I had been attracted and I had wanted to try something out with him. Then I'd been a little turned off by his womanizer attitude, and Sam had been there sweet and gentlemanly like the man I had always thought I should end up with. Dean then proceeded to show me that he was more than just some woman using, smart-ass, but I was too focused on Sam and how good Sam made me feel and so Sam and I started dating, and then…then I almost lost Dean.

That entire hunt had really been one of the hardest hunts I had ever been put through, and I had realized that all that really mattered to me then was saving Dean. Sam and I had both felt how strange it was to sleep together, no matter how much it calmed our nerves when it happened, and all the while in the back of my mind I needed Dean safe. How could I have never noticed just how attached to him I had become? It wasn't love yet…I was pretty sure of that…but I was definitely in serious like with the man and the jealousy was just the icing on that proverbial cake.

"We're meeting up with Cassie at her house." Dean informed me as he and Sam and got back into the car. "She's going to fill us in on everything there."

"I'll call you in a little bit, Jenny, I know you're busy." I told her and told her I loved her before hanging up the phone and nodding at Sam and Dean as Dean pulled the car out onto the road. "Sounds like a plan."

Dean looked at me in the rearview mirror. "Hey…are you okay? You seem a little out of it, Lanni."

If it wasn't bad enough that I was already going over everything in my mind over and over and over again, Dean just _had_ to call me by that infernal nickname. All I could do of course was just nod my head and flash a smile, but my insides were working over time when I realized that I really needed some air—some time _away_ from Dean. How could I honestly like him? He chased skirt more than he hunted, and though he seemed hurt and upset even though he was rather desperately trying to hide that, he was still Dean Winchester. I wasn't supposed to get involved with a guy who could break hearts in a heartbeat and didn't look back when it was done.

"Why did you two split up?" I found myself asking, wishing I hadn't when I felt the pain coming from Dean, but he still wasn't physically showing it.

Dean shrugged. "Sometimes things just don't work out…happens in this line of work."

And there he went again—pushing emotion out the window to focus on things that actually made sense to him. I could only imagine how hard it must have been for Cassie to even get in the realm of close to the man. For a little while I had thought that I was close to him—that he trusted and respected me—and it was partially that, that had my stomach all in knots and twists over this. He had told me so many things that he had told Cassie and she hadn't accepted it…and it had broken his heart. But he was Dean Winchester…he wouldn't _ever_ admit that he had a heart to break.

"She's got a nice house." I told her when Dean parked the car. "Can't wait to meet her."

"Something tells me you two will either love or hate each other." Dean said as he got out of the car, Sam and I in tow.

I shrugged a little at his words and sent a smile in Sam's direction as he reached out and squeezed my hand, both of us making the eye contact that used to be so reassuring. Now it was kind of hard to be reassured when there was so much uncertainty and unresolved tension behind the irises. Still, I managed to keep a rather brave face on as the beautiful mixed woman in front of me opened up the door wide and smiled at the three of us standing there. She looked strong and I could feel the inner struggle within her—this was going to be a really hard hunt.

"Good to see you again." Cassie said with a smile and then her eyes landed on me and I didn't like what she was feeling about me. "Hi…I'm Cassie."

I smiled at her to try and be sweet. "Alana Meckenzie, I'm—"

"—she's a hunter like Sam and I. She's our partner." Dean told her.

I was pretty certain that he was trying to keep me as an option so he could make Cassie see what it was that she was missing, but that wasn't fair to Sam. Sam was still my boyfriend, and I was _not_ going to get in the way of Dean dealing with his unfinished business. This was his fight with Cassie, and his alone, and I was not going to be dragged into it even if Dean wasn't trying to be petty exactly. He'd cut me off prematurely because he wanted to have some way of showing her that he'd moved on, when in fact he'd simply chosen to ignore the whole situation, and I didn't want to be his crutch.

"I'm also Sam's girlfriend." I said, trying to make it like I was staking my claim as Dean got a look on his face like he was upset I kept going.

"You two look good together." Cassie told Sam and me.

I smiled at her. "Thanks. I think so too."

I didn't want any tea, and I wasn't tuning into the conversation all that much even though I knew that I should have been. The just of it was that Cassie's father had been murdered—run off the road by tracks made from a car that didn't actually exist, and it was that reason alone that she called Dean. Dean dealt with the unexplainable, and now she believed what he had told her before, and Dean was not in a happy place right now. Part of me was ripping apart because of it, and part of me knew that this was something Dean was going to have to deal with—it was his unfinished business, and he and Cassie were going to have to work things out. I wasn't happy about that, and it killed me that I wasn't happy about that, but that was just the way that things were going to have to go.

"We should talk to some people to narrow down suspects." I told Cassie.

She nodded at me. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

I smiled a little. "We'll be back to let you know what it is that we find out."

She still wasn't sure about me because she was noticing the looks I had been throwing at Dean and honestly I could care less. I was figuring things out and she needed to figure things out, and that was just how it was going to have to be. So the boys and I left and I opted to go back to the motel and research a little, Sam dropping in later and shrugging off his jacket as I looked things up on the web. I was actually working this case instead of moping around feeling like a terrible person, and Sam looked like he had something to tell me so I gave him my full attention.

"Believe it or not, Dean was in love with her." Sam said with a shake of his head and a smile. "It's seriously unresolved though because she dumped him and well…you noticed their looks I'm sure."

I furrowed my brow a little. "I didn't like the tone in that, Sammy."

Sam took a deep breath and sat down on his bed. "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what's going on with you and us lately, Lan."

I sighed loudly and stood up, walking over to him and looking down at him as he looked up at me. I knew that Sam was far from stupid, and so just the fact that he practically knew what I was going through wasn't surprising—but it hurt. Sam honestly didn't deserve what I was putting him through, and yet he didn't look hurt at all…he looked sort of amused and that was a little strange. He was supposed to be mad at me and think I was some sort of cheap slut—he wasn't supposed to be smiling at me and pulling me onto his lap to look me in the eye and stroke my hair.

"You've been slowly falling for Dean since the two of us met you, Lan. You and I both needed companionship and I think both know that once we slept together the magic was kind of gone." Sam explained.

I nodded. "It wasn't because it was bad sex either."

"No! It was actually rather fantastic." Sam replied with a chuckle.

"Yeah." I agreed with a smile. "It's just that…I think we both knew then that neither of us was really 100% committed to the relationship we'd formed. We're really good friends, and I hope we _stay_ really good friends…but honestly neither of our hearts will be in this the way that they've been in other relationships."

Sam kissed my forehead. "That's pretty much it."

The look that we were sharing let me know that the two of us didn't regret what had happened between us, and that we were still really close. It was nice to tell you the truth, because Sam was really my closest friend besides Jen, and I needed him no matter what. Still feeling bad about how things had gone down, but needing Sam's comfort since Dean still hadn't come back yet and was "checking on" Cassie, I cuddled up with Sam in his bed. Dean and Cassie had some things to work out between them, and if that meant resolving sexual tension then so be it—this was after all Dean.

As much as I wanted to believe that Dean and Cassie could just talk things out like normal people, I knew there was history there and since they'd only dated a couple of weeks, there had to be sex involved. Dean was a primal, sexual man and even though he had managed to fall in love in such a short time that_ I_ couldn't even manage, there were things about him that wouldn't change. I didn't want to think about them touching each other, and so I tried to push the thoughts from my mind as Sam and I drifted off to sleep, waking up in each other's arms.

I gave him a hug that he returned and kissed his forehead as his phone rang, me getting up to get changed as he got a little down. It was pretty obvious by the look on his face—the slight sadness and the determination—that someone had died and that meant we needed to buckle down and close the case. Oh the sooner the better as far as I was concerned—I was almost ready to go back with Jen and try and have a normal life just so I wouldn't have to be around Dean and Cassie together. She wasn't even a bad person—I had no right to even be upset—I just couldn't help but wish she was out of the picture.

"We need to go and check out a murder. One of the guys that Dean and I talked to yesterday was murdered, and it may give us another clue." Sam explained, starting to get dressed. "Dean's meeting us there so are you sure you wanna come?"

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks for the concern, Sammy, but I'm a big girl and your brother is a whore. Sleeping with his ex-girlfriend he somehow managed to fall in love with in two weeks is not something I control, nor do I care."

Sam nodded with a smile on his face. "Yeah…the bitterness and resentment in your voice _really_ makes it sound like you don't care."

"I don't appreciate the sarcasm, Sammy—move your ass out the door." I told him.

Sam just laughed and nodded, and the two of us went to the crime site and looked around and then Dean showed up and I frowned—he smelled like her. I had kept telling myself that I was going to be just fine with knowing that the two of them had slept together, but for some reason I couldn't help but feel hurt. I _knew_ that I had started to fall for him a while back, and he'd known me much longer than just two weeks and what? Love wasn't ever going to be on the plate for us? Why did I even care about Dean's love anyway? He was more than willing to give it away to the first easy chick with a nice ass and huge rack in the form of sex. Being jealous…I can pretty tell you with absolute certainty that I _hated_ being jealous.

"I lied, I'm not okay." I told Sam with a sigh. "He slept with her and it bothers me."

Sam nodded and reached out to stroke my hair. "I'm sorry, Lan. We're just going to have to see how this plays out."

I swallowed as Dean came closer to us. "I'm going to go and call Jen."

Dean looked a little upset that I simply ran off the second he got to us, but I really couldn't handle the fact that he smelled like her—that he'd slept with her. To a certain degree I knew that was something I was going to have to get used to, but right now I didn't want to deal with it, so I wasn't going to. Besides, Dean and Sam could talk to the cops without me, and I could vent and be a silly High School girl. Oh God…was that really what I was becoming? Some jealous High School twit? God should just smite me now…that would be a lot better than what I was putting myself and everyone else through…what bullshit.

"Jenny, I'm becoming a silly High School twit." I told her dismally when she answered her phone.

Jen laughed a little. "I take it you talked to the boys and something went wrong? That's just like your karma, Lan."

I nodded slowly. "Sadly, yeah that _is_ just like my karma. I talked to Sammy…Dean though I didn't. This case we're on is with his ex-girlfriend. His ex-girlfriend that he only dated for a couple of weeks and feel in love with and now they've gone off and had sex and I just…"

"You feel hurt because you were willing to give him something at one point but he didn't fall for you? That he's capable of love but it looks like you'll never get to have any from him? Wow…you should come back and hang with me." Jen told me and I knew she was smiling because she found the whole situation entertaining.

"I've actually been thinking about it." I admitted honestly. "I can't focus on being a hunter when I wanna claw out the eyes of _every_ girl that looks at him. I can't stop thinking about him, Jenny!"

I whined a little and she told me to finish up the hunt and then seriously consider coming home, and we hung up after our usual 'I love yous', Sam telling me Dean was going to research a bit with Cassie. Then he offered to take me to get something to eat since we'd skipped breakfast, and I was completely up for that. _Anything_ to get my mind off of Dean and Cassie and what they _might_ be doing instead of researching was definitely a good idea. So I ordered some coffee and some pancakes, and sucked the coffee down and then poked at the food as I thought about things, Sam watching me.

"Are you going to be okay?" Sam asked me finally. "Sorry, stupid question."

I waved it off with a smile. "No, no, that's all right—it's _not_ a stupid question. I think I will be just fine as soon as I stop acting like a teenager. I can deal with this, and I can suck it up and hunt."

"I think you should just tell Dean how you feel." Sam told me, taking my hand. "I'll always be here for you, you know? Even if he's a total dick about it, or doesn't feel the way that you feel, it's best in the long run that you let it be known so you can close the door on it and focus if need be. We're friends, and we're family, Lan—just think about talking to him, all right?"

I smiled, and kissed Sam swiftly and softly, and then the two of us ate our food and got up and went back to the motel, Dean already there and looking through things. I avoided his gaze and sat on Sam's bed with him, plugging in my laptop and checking my e-mail from Jen, who was sending me information about the current hunt. The two of us were feeling pretty on top of things and Dean wanted to talk to me, but I didn't want to talk to him for fear of verbally vomiting all over him. I had been in this place before, and right now I didn't want to be in this place again.

"So…" Dean began as Sam went out of the room for a moment to get something from the car, leaving Dean and I alone together.

I was silent, trying hard not to just blurt out everything that was going through my head right that second.

"…I don't really know what to say." Dean finished. "All I know is you seem to be avoiding me suddenly."

"Maybe it would be better if neither of us spoke." I told him with a shrug. "There's nothing to discuss."

Dean nodded slowly. "Did I do something to piss you off, Lanni? Cause I seriously didn't mean to."

"You haven't done anything wrong, Dean. Drop it." I said with a smile and a shrug. "We should be focusing on Cassie and on the next death right now anyway, shouldn't we?"

Dean was going to say something when his phone rang, and then he dragged Sam and me with him because Cassie was almost attacked by the scary ghost car that was killing people. Apparently it was all because of something that Cassie's father had done in the past, and we would need to get the body of the man he killed out of the swamp and destroy it. Luckily that meant we'd probably have to split up eventually and I could go with Sam because I really didn't want to deal with Dean at all when I was being ridiculous. At least I knew I was begin ridiculous and I could admit it…it was just so much harder when you had feelings for a person—so much harder to _actually_ want them to be happy even if it was with someone else.

"I don't know if I want to deal with it, Sam." I told him as Dean came out of Cassie's house.

"I know, but hey at least you're being professional." Sam said with a smile. "I mean you could have totally bit her head off when she was being kind of bitchy when you sided with Dean, but you didn't."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…but how long is _that _going to last?"

"You've always got me." Sam told me for what seemed like the hundredth time, and then he hugged me. "I will always have your back."

I nodded as I hugged him back, letting go as Dean showed up. There was a small look between Sam and me and then it was gone just like that and he and Sam started talking about getting the body. I was about to put my two cents in but Cassie came out of the house and I accidentally rolled my eyes and groaned, getting into the car before I embarrassed myself any further, occupying myself until Sam cleared his throat. Why did I have to look up and catch Dean and Cassie kissing each other so happily? Had the two of them really no decency at all? PDA, seriously…I didn't want to see it.

When the two of them finally broke apart, Sam and Dean got into the car and I bit my lip to keep myself from making anymore of a fool out of myself than I already had, and we went to get the car out of the swamp. We set the body on fire, but the spirit car was still alive and kicking—and it was so fantastic for us that it was seriously pissed. Dean left in the Impala to lure it away, and Sam and I were supposed to figure out how to burn the truck—this so wasn't good. I may have been seriously pissed at the man, but I didn't want him to die.

"If it hadn't been in the swamp this would be a whole Hell of a lot easier." I told Sam angrily. "Wait—what about hallowed ground?"

Sam looked at me for a moment, and then he called Cassie and got directions to the old church, and led Dean there via phone directions. It was really the only plan we had, and Sam and I were pretty much crossing our fingers that this would work. We both wanted Dean alive and kicking after this, and so this had to be timed perfectly.

"Make sure he goes _exactly_ seven tenths of a mile." I told Sam.

"Did you hear that, Dean? _Exactly_ seven tenths of a mile." Sam repeated.

I looked hard at Sam as he continued to talk to Dean, and then felt myself calming down a little bit since Sam seemed happy. He assured me that Dean was all right, and then he told Dean about the plan and then turned to me and told me Dean had hung up on him after he had said that the thought hadn't occurred to him that the plan wouldn't work. I couldn't help but laugh rather loudly because there had been some doubt in my mind, that was for damn certain.

"So he's all right?" I asked Sam.

Sam nodded and smiled. "He's fine."

"Good. It would be a Hell of a lot harder to hunt demons without our bait." I told him, and Sam smiled because he knew I was trying to make myself feel better. "Hey, Sam?"

"Yeah?" Sam answered as we began to walk along the road.

"Are you mad at me at all?" I asked him.

Honestly I really couldn't understand how Sam could be just fine with me and with everything that had happened. I knew we'd talked about it, and the two of us agreed that though we were attracted to each other it had been more of a need that had run out, but I still felt like _someone_ should be upset with me. This was new for me, and a situation I had never been in, and there were so many things I could have done to avoid things that had happened…so many ways I could have handled the situation better.

Sam smiled at me and shook his head. "You and I are always going to be friends, Lan. We may have used each other to get some emotional calm, but I think we're old enough and mature enough to know that's all there was. You really don't have to sweat it."

"I just feel like I used you." I told him slowly. "I really don't want you to feel like you were used or like I was rebounding or something. I really do thoroughly enjoy your company."

Sam beamed at me. "And I enjoy yours too, Lan, but I'm not Dean and you're not Jess."

I nodded. "Thank you, Sammy."

Sam nodded, and then we smiled at each other, both knowing concretely that we were simply family, and that whatever we had thought was there wasn't. We were going to be there for each other, and we'd always have the other's back, but the spark we knew we needed in a relationship just wasn't between us. I leaned on Sam as we walked, and after spending the night in the motel room, me still in Sam's bed, but Dean in his, we got up the next morning to leave. You can just guess what Dean wanted to do…yeah…say 'goodbye' to Cassie.

I sat in the car with Sam and we watched the interaction between the two, Cassie telling Dean that she didn't see a future with him, but he told her he'd seen stranger things happen. Still, I knew that deep down he knew that it was her way of telling him that once he left out of her life again she was going to move on and he should too, and he would deal with it like he dealt with everything—easy sex and not talking about feelings. It hurt me to know that Dean had so much bottled inside him he needed to let out, but there was no way for me to help him with that if he wasn't willing. So I simply watching him walk away from her and get into the car, us driving away.

"You ever think it's worth it? Doing what we do when you could find a girl to accept you and settle down instead?" Sam asked Dean.

I was rather eager to know the answer to that, but Dean wasn't talking, and simply grabbed some sunglasses and put them on with a small smile on his face.

"Wake me up when it's my turn to drive." Dean told Sam, and I nodded from the backseat and composed an e-mail to Jen on my laptop.

xxxx

"Why didn't anyone wake me up?" Dean asked me when he realized I was driving.

I shushed him. "Sam's in the back sleeping."

Dean nodded, took his sunglasses off and then he looked at me. I wasn't appreciating that he was simply staring at me through silence and I knew I had no right to be angry with him but I was. What right did he really think he had to just stare at me for no good reason? I was in a rather bad mood and I didn't like that his eyes were on me like that when there were other things to look at.

"What?" I asked, seeing him out of the corner of my eye.

"I'm sorry." He told me. "I'm sorry for whatever it was that I did to you that's making you act like a bitch."

I scoffed. "_That_, Dean Winchester, is the _worst_ apology I have ever heard. Besides…you have nothing to apologize for."

"Obviously I do." Dean replied.

I took a deep breath as I shook my head and then I glanced at him and then looked back at the road. It would be so much better in the long run if I just gave up and laid it all out there but how I could I? He had practically _just _left Cassie, and it wasn't fair of me to lay all of _my_ stupid ass problems on him when he had problems of his own he'd never own up about, right? But how was I going to get through this if I knew I hadn't come clean about _everything_? Oh God…here goes nothing, Lana.

"It's not your fault that I'm losing it because of you." I told him finally.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "What? I'm a little lost by that statement."

I took a deep breath. "Does it occur to you that maybe I've been so pissy and I was so cold to Cassie because maybe I like you? I've been practically falling for you since we met at Chelsea's wake, and I turned off the idea of you and me because I thought you were in it for the sex. Then I find out that you're capable of love—even more capable of it than I am—and I couldn't focus on the case once, Dean. Not _once_! All I can think about is you, you, you. Why the Hell did you have to go and electrocute yourself, huh? If you hadn't have almost died, I would never have figured out just how much I wanted to be with you!"

Dean was rather stumped. "Wow…"

"Yeah…" I replied with a nod.

Dean shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Poor Sam."

I glanced over at him questioningly and then remembered that Dean had no idea that Sam and I were no longer together because I'd been avoiding Dean like the plague. I didn't have the time to tell him either because Sam had woken up and asked if he should take back over. He was trying to give Dean time to process and me time to realize the severity of everything that I had just blurted out, and it was a good idea.

"Sorry to wake you." I told him genuinely.

Dean scoffed. "You have more than that to be sorry for."

"Dean, don't—you have absolutely no idea what the whole story is." I told him dangerously. "I will not allow you to tear me down when you have no right to."

"What whole story is there, Lanni?" Dean asked me, raising his voice. "This is the worst situation I have ever been in!"

I sighed loudly. "You know trying to talk to you is like expecting a rock to talk back—it's fruitless. So how about you and I just _don't_ talk? Sound peachy? Good, I'm glad."

I got off on an exit and parked in a motel parking lot, getting up and going to go and get the three of us a room. Dean was beyond pissed because he thought I was mind cheating on Sam, and if he hadn't been getting so damned defensive I would have set him straight but there was too much going on in my head. I just really needed to sleep, and when Sam came in and spooned me, I happily accepted the comfort and Dean scoffed and mumbled to himself as he turned over and went to sleep. He was never going to talk to me about any of it until he was sure he wouldn't be screwing Sam over.

In fact for a whole week Dean and I didn't talk unless we had to. Sam was letting us stew in our own juices and wanted Dean and I to talk things out without his involvement, and lucky me, I got the chance to talk to Dean over breakfast. It wasn't so much talking as it was Dean scoffing and me getting really fed up with him thinking I was a mind cheater, and Sam really didn't want to be in the middle of it. He looked like he wanted to leave the table, and Dean and I just kept going.

"Sam…" I started dismally, but he shook his head and I sighed. "Fine," I told the waiter, "I'll have apple juice instead of another cup of coffee."

"I'll have orange juice and pancakes." Sam told him.

"And I'll have strong coffee." Dean said, looking at me. "It's so sweet that you let your boyfriend order you around."

I looked him in the eye. "You know for your information, Sam and I haven't been dating since _before_ you slept with your precious bitch of an ex-girlfriend. In fact it was _your_ brother who suggested I talk to you in the first place so you scoff one more time and I'm stabbing you with a fork."

Dean looked at me blankly. "Wait a minute…you've been letting me push you around for the last little over a week when I honestly had no right to?"

"Oh my God! The thing has a brain!" I exclaimed, standing up from the table. "I'm not hungry anymore."

Sam wanted me to stay and I felt like a bitch for being so angry, but I just left the diner and went back to the motel. I actually _was_ rather hungry so I searched through my duffle for anything at all that would transubstantiate, finding an unopened but squished granola bar and realizing that it would have to do. Since I was much too hungry to protest, I simply bit into it and finished it before Dean came into the motel room and I sighed loudly. I had really said everything that it was that I thought needed to be said—everything that I had _wanted_ to say—and I wasn't so keen on us being alone right now.

"This isn't—"

"—I know."

"We can't—"

"—I know."

He nodded and ran his fingers through his hair. "Good."

I simply nodded at him and then I put my hands in the back pockets of my jeans and took a couple steps back when he took a couple towards me. Obviously _he_ wasn't finished, and so I was kind of worried about what was going to happen next if Dean and I actually just started to talk about everything. There was absolutely no logical reason for us to be together, or to talk things out and we needed space—something that was and wasn't Dean's forte of things.

"What happened to 'this isn't' and 'we can't'?" I asked him as he took a couple more steps to me and then stopped.

Dean swallowed. "_You_ picked _Sam_."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah I did, and then Sam and I realized that we weren't actually attracted to each other like that. He needed an outlet for his pain over losing Jessica, and I simply needed to be close to someone, and wasn't sure if you'd hurt me or not."

"Well you were smart to think like that. If you haven't noticed, getting close to me really doesn't help anyone." Dean replied, sitting on his bed and then chuckling a little. "You satisfied with your granola bar?"

I snatched up the wrapper and sighed soon, shaking my head. "I'm seriously hungry, honestly."

"Then we should go and get you some food." Dean told me, standing up and heading fpr the door. "Unless you wanna stay here and practically starve."

I smiled a little at him and sighed and rolled my eyes, letting him take me by the hand and drag me back to the diner. We got the same waiter who seemed rather amused that I had stormed off and then come back with Dean and not with Sam, which by the way…where was Sam? It was nice to be this close to Dean right now, but I was wondering where he was. Dean ordered some pancakes for me though and I just smiled it off and then I leaned back a little and looked at him.

"What?" Dean asked me, a cheeky smile on his face.

I shrugged and laughed. "Nothing just…I think my inflating your ego made your head bigger."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Oh ha, ha."

I laughed again. "Seriously, you're starting to look like a bobble head!"

Dean retaliated by stealing some of my pancakes when they got to me, and I couldn't help but just laugh and then we went back to the motel room and we sat with Sam, who had movies for us to watch. We were all kind of in need of serious unwinding, and so we watched a few movies and then it was time to pick a bed and with a smile and nod from Sam while Dean was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, I crawled into Dean's bed and snuggled under the covers. Dean was rather surprised, but he turned the light off and got under the covers with me, snuggling up against me. It wasn't some romantic arms around me thing seeing as how he hadn't told me anything about how _he_ was feeling—even though I wasn't expecting him to ever—it was simply an arm draped over me, both of us keeping the other warm until we woke up to Sam freaking out.

"Sammy, what's up?" I asked, Dean grunted an annoyed grunt.

"We've gotta move…now." Sam replied, his duffle already thrown together as he grabbed some pants and a jacket.

It was almost deafening, the emotions pouring off of Sam, and the second he told us that he had a vision of a man being trapped in his car, in the garage, and suffocating, Dean and I were up and packing to head to the car. It had looked like suicide according to Sam, and as Dean drove and Sam looked up the license information as I pulled some clothes on in the back seat. Once we got to the house, we found out that the man had died _exactly_ how Sam had seen it play in his head, and I went back to the car to look a few more things up while Dean talked to Sam in the crowd.

"It couldn't be, could it?" I asked myself out loud, staring at the seat in front of me. "I mean…no…no…there has to be another explanation."

I shook the thoughts off and then the boys and I found a nearby motel and the next morning we came back dressed as two priests and a nun. I was really hungry, kind of sore, and I just wanted to sleep. My senses were practically in overdrive and it was starting to make me a little queasy, but that wasn't the hard part—it was determining what emotions were coming from whom.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Dean asked me as I rubbed my temples, trying to fight off a headache.

I waved it off and shrugged as I smiled. "Just wishing I wasn't dressed like a nun."

Dean smiled and then the three of us talked to the family at the wake, trying to piece together what had happened to figure out why Sam had seen it. Dean pigged out on the little beef hotdogs on a stick while Sam talked to Max, and then we all decided that there was something up with the fact that there were no traces of paranormal activity. It was pretty weird, and then I felt it—something was emanating from the Max, but I wasn't sure exactly what yet.

There was something so familiar about it and so I went to look through some of my old files on my laptop while Sam and Dean went to go and stop Max's father's brother's death. I would have helped them, but it was just too much of a feeling and I had learned _never_ to doubt my feelings. That's when I realized that Sam and Max had something in common with Annie—something in common with me. It was too painful to go into so I just let it sink in and then tried to ignore it. Sam and Dean showed up though and I knew I could at least warn them without actually having to come clean about my past. This was something they needed to know at least, and so I took Sam by the hand and I smiled at him a little.

"You and Max have the same kind of power." I told Sam. "It's not the exact same power, but it originated from the same place. I just…you two have similar feeling…auras I guess you could say."

Sam nodded and then stroked my hair. "You're heading back to Lawrence aren't you?"

"I have to. Can you handle this hunt without me?" I asked him.

"Yeah, we can do that." Dean replied before Sam could. "Just…don't take three weeks this time, all right?"

I smiled at him. "I promise."

**Note: The next chapter will come VERY soon! I'm excited with how this one is going, and I hope you guys are too! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	9. VERY IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE

**AUTHOR'S NOTE****:**

_**Hey guys.**_

_**I have some bad news…**_

_**So last night my laptop died…and I haven't backed it up for two months.**_

_**What does that mean?**_

_**That means I have lost a whole lot.**_

_**That means I have no new updates and probably won't for a while.**_

_**I'm on my mother's computer right now and I don't know when I'm gonna get my laptop fixed or when I'm gonna get my documents back.**_

_**They think that since it's a driver/hardware problem they can fix it and recover my stuff.**_

_**We'll see.**_

_**Mom and I have fixing it on the highest priority—we're trying to get it done by Tuesday, but I don't know.**_

_**For those of you that don't know, I am going to Pennsylvania bright and early on the 22**__**nd**__**, and won't be back until the 28**__**th**__**.**_

_**However we also just got a new place and will be moving in there when I get back and I won't have Internet access until a week after that…or longer depending on how severe this laptop problem is.**_

_***makes a not happy face***_

_**I just wanted to let you guys know that it could be a while before I get anything updated at all and I'm kind of really messed up over it.**_

_**I seriously HATE losing documents.**_

_**I apologize that you guys have to wait forever again.**_

_**I love you all for your support of me.**_

**Kyla aka Pyro**


	10. The Oddest Things Bring People Together

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I can't actually tell you how much I love where this is going.**

**Hope you enjoy this.**

**Lord knows I need to make myself feel better since Dean girl or no I'm pissed at him S5 atm…lol.**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**So ENJOY!**

xxxx

Being away from the boys was actually really hard, I have to admit it. Now that everything was out in the open all I wanted was to talk to Sam and Dean and hunt with them but I had to look up things on Annie. I really wanted to look up some things on our parents too, but everything was cut short when Dean called me on my cell phone. If I told you I was expecting to hear from him first I would be lying—and I'd be lying even more if I told you that my heart didn't skip a beat when I looked at the cover of my phone and saw that it was in fact him calling me.

"Hey, Dean—what's new?" I asked him, trying to sound cool even though just knowing he was on the other line was making my stomach do belly flops.

Dean took a deep breath. "How quickly can you get to Hibbing, Minnesota?"

I swallowed and suddenly my whole demeanor had changed. "What's wrong, Dean?"

"It's Sam—he's been kidnapped and for some reason the first person I thought of was you. If you were here it would make this easier and I'm sure we could find him faster." Dean explained to me.

I smiled a little and nodded. "I'm coming straight there."

I thought it was kind of adorable that Dean was trying to be really strong and tough by pretending he just needed me there to help him find Sam. Obviously Dean could get it done by himself, but it was nice to feel needed even if he was pretending he didn't need me just to be by his side and reassure him. So I got there as soon as I could by plane and when he opened up the motel room door for me that night I smiled at him and he ushered me in and locked the door before coming over to me and hugging me tight.

He leaned his head against mine and then pulled away and though I wished he'd held on longer, I knew I needed to be caught up on what had happened exactly. While I was researching for the last couple of days and hitting dead ends, Sam and Dean had come to Minnesota to look in on some kidnappings. Now Sam had been kidnapped and Dean wasn't sure what to do, but wanted to go to the sheriff station in the morning to check in on things since he was pretty sure whatever had happened was caught on one of the surveillance cameras.

"We should both get a little sleep and then be up right when the sheriff station opens, all right?" I suggested and nodded when he did, shrugging off my jacket and tossing it onto the motel room couch.

He got into his bed after taking off his shoes and his jeans and his jacket and I stripped down to my tank and my panties, sliding into bed with Dean and smiling when he slipped his arm under my neck. I snuggled my body into his warm one, and the two of us laid there for a moment or two, my forehead in the crook of his neck as his other arm wrapped around me as well. I knew it was one of those rare Dean Winchester moments to cherish, so I simply kissed his chest softly and slipped my arm in between his and his side, because I knew he needed the closeness since Sam was missing and he was worried.

I hadn't been expecting him to start stroking my hair though and I had to get a grip on myself because the closeness was definitely something that I had been lacking and I needed him but this would be taking advantage of him. He was worried about Sam, I was worried about Sam, and the two of us desperately needed to sleep and then get up in the morning and find him. Still, his lips pressing against my temple as his fingers ran through my dark locks was starting to make me crave more closeness, so I simply closed my eyes and pressed my body against his a little more and whispered, "Goodnight, Dean", which seemed to make him understand—he just nodded and we drifted off to sleep.

The following morning I woke up to breathing on my face, but kept my eyes closed as Dean stroked my hair and then kissed my lips ever so softly before getting out of the bed. He was thankful for me and he knew where I stood with him now, and that changed our entire 'relationship' with each other because now he knew that I was falling for him and with no Sam as an excuse not to face it, Dean had to deal with it. Believe me I still wasn't sure what all of this kissing me while I was 'sleeping' stuff was, but I could certainly get used to it and that was what _truly_ mattered to me right now…besides finding Sam.

"Good morning." I let out lazily, stretching and opening my eyes as Dean changed.

He smiled at me. "Get up and get dressed."

"How direct and forceful." I replied playfully since the tone he had used for me hadn't been harsh in the slightest. "I'll be ready in five minutes."

I got out of the bed and grabbed some clothes to change into to, then I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth before I ran a comb through my hair and then pulled my hair back. Then I joined Dean in the main part of the motel room and with a smile and wave of his head, the two of us were out of the room and headed towards the sheriff station. Dean explained to me that he had taken the name, "Gregory Washington" because of the mishap in Saint Louis with the shapeshifter when I was off doing my thing and he had been framed for murder and then the shapeshifter died in his form and I simply nodded.

When we got in there, however, I took on the persona of his wife and though confused at first, I was rewarded by the glint of satisfaction in his eyes. We met with Deputy Kathleen Hudak, and asked her to search the missing persons. At first she thought we were covering the Jenkins case which was odd because the State Police weren't doing that to her knowledge, but Dean replied that he was looking for his cousin.

"We were having a few last night at this bar down by the highway and I haven't seen him since." Dean explained.

"Does your cousin have a drinking problem?" She asked Dean.

"Sam? 2 beers and he's doing Karaoke." Dean answered, a slight smile on his face when she smiled at him. "He wasn't drunk, he was taken."

She nodded at him. "Alright. What's his name?"

"Winchester. Sam Winchester." I replied, feeling slightly jealous even though I knew I shouldn't be.

"Like the rifle?" She asked, slightly amused.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, like the rifle."

She ran a search for him and came up with quite a lot of information about him.

**Name**: Samuel Winchester

**Born**: May 2, 1983

**Place of birth**: Lawrence, Kansas

**Physical description**: 6'4'' Height 180-190 lbs Brown Hair, Brown Eyes

_No distinctive markings or tattoos_

**RELEVANT LINKS**

Dean Winchester (deceased) - brother of the subject

The woman clicked on Dean's file and some more information was displayed on the screen.

**Name**: Dean Winchester

**Born**: January 24, 1979

**Died**: March 7, 2006

**Place of birth**: Lawrence, Kansas

**Place of death**: St. Louis, Missouri

**Physical description**: 6'4'' Height 175 lbs Brown Hair, Green Eyes

_No distinctive markings or tattoos_

Subject was prime suspect in multiple homicide investigation in St. Louis area prior to his death

**RELEVANT LINKS**

Samuel Winchester - brother of the subject

"Samuel Winchester." She said out loud. "So, you know that his brother Dean died in St. Louis? That he was suspected of murder?"

"Yeah, Dean…kinda the black sheep in the Winchester family—damn he was good looking though." I replied with a smile. "Is there anything on Sam though?"

Dean rested his hand on the hip of mine farthest from him and pulled me close to him, noting the care in my voice—and maybe rather happy with me that I thought he was good looking. Kathleen checked for Sam and told us he wasn't showing up in any current field reports or hospital records. I nodded slowly and then looked at Dean, who looked directly at Kathleen and decided to go for a completely different approach—mention the surveillance cameras outside the bar.

"I'm thinking the cam would pick up whatever took him—or whoever—" Dean immediately corrected himself.

Turned out that Kathleen had access to the traffic cams but to have things done the right way, Dean and I had to fill out a missing person's report about Sam. It was annoying but seemed like it absolutely had to be done, and so we filled it out and then we handed the report over to her.

"Officer, look, he's family. I kinda…I kinda look out for the kid. You have to let me go with you." Dean pleaded with her.

"I'm sorry, I can't do that." She replied and Dean looked a little upset.

"Well, tell me something. Your county has its fair share of missing persons, any of them come back?" He asked her when she didn't answer he nodded. "Sam is my responsibility and he's coming back, I'm bringing him back."

She nodded and went to go and get the two of us the images from the traffic cameras and I set to rubbing Dean's shoulders as he sat down. He was surprisingly rather relaxed given what was going on and when Kathleen got back with the images, she let Dean and I looked at them. There wasn't anything really interesting in them, but she showed us a van that was probably stolen and told us that it was most likely involved with Sam's disappearance—which meant an actual kidnapping…no demons or ghosts or anything supernatural…just humans.

"So you're pretty sure he was kidnapped by the people driving this van?" I asked her.

She nodded and we started searching for the van in the police car—however the vehicle didn't pass the next traffic cameras so the driver turned off somewhere. Add on that there was no road on the map but according to Kathleen and that spelled out trouble…especially when she explained that there were private roads allowing access to backwoods properties. Then her computer beeped and she explained that she ran our badge numbers just to be thorough and they had come up stolen. Not to mention I was a man with a unisex name and Dean was apparently an over weight black man.

"I lost some weight and I got that Michael Jackson skin disease." He told her with a small smile on his face.

She didn't believe him and I just sighed and she asked us to step out of the car but we really needed to find Sam and this was starting to make everything harder. Dean and I both knew that even though we were probably getting arrested when this was done Sam was the top priority and we had to fight to keep looking for him. Neither of us were about to give up on him, and we knew that we needed Kathleen's help whether she wanted to give it to us or not.

"Look, you want to arrest us? That's fine, we'll cooperate I swear but first please, let us find Sam." Dean explained to her.

I nodded and looked at her. "Sam is important to us and we need to find him."

"I don't even know who you are or if this Sam person's missing." She told us.

"Look into my eyes and tell me if I'm lying about this." Dean said firmly, pleading with her without actually pleading.

She gave him a look. "Identity theft—you two are impersonating officers."

"Here is the thing. When…when we were young, I pretty much pulled him from a fire and ever since then I've felt responsible for him—you know, like it's my job to keep him safe. I'm just afraid if we don't find him fast…please, he's my family." Dean explained to her.

"He's the only family that we have and we have to make sure he's safe." I added, grasping Dean's hand.

"I'm sorry; you've given me no choice. I have to take you in…" She told us, looking at a picture of a man and herself. "After we find Sam Winchester."

It made us feel rather thankful for her when she didn't arrest us because she needed our help, but it confused Dean and I little bit too. It was pretty late and it was best to keep us together, and by morning we were trying to find where the van had veered off and I was trying to rely on my instincts while Dean talked to Kathleen. Turned out the man in the picture with her was her brother, Riley, who had disappeared under the same conditions and despite all the research, they never found anything.

"I know what it's like to feel responsible for someone." She told us.

Dean and I nodded and sat in the back of the police car until I pointed out a road and Dean asked Kathleen to pull over. She did and then got out of the car and told us to stay back while she went to take a look, but we refused. Sam was our responsibility and neither of us were _completely_ convinced that it was just a run of the mill kidnapping—of course we weren't going to tell her we thought it was demon related but come on…could it really just be some messed up human beings?

"You're civilians…and felons I think—I'm not taking you with me." She told us firmly.

Dean nodded. "You're not going without us."

"Alright, you promise you won't get involved; you'll let me handle it?" She asked us.

"Yeah, we promise." I piped up, really needing to save Sam.

She nodded slowly. "Shake on it."

Dean reached out to shake her hand, and she took the opportunity to handcuff him to the car door handle. Part of me was going to fight back but she could take me so I simply let her handcuff me to the handle as well and Dean made a disgruntled noise. He was pissed I just gave in so easy, but he was going to have to start giving me the benefit of the doubt—maybe even trusting me a little more.

"Kathleen, I really think you're gonna need our help." Dean told her.

"I'll manage, thank you." She told him and then headed off.

Dean sighed and gave me a look before looking at the cuffs. "I gotta start carrying paperclips."

"You think bobby pins will do?" I asked him with a smile.

I reached up with my free hand and got one out of my hair, handing it over to him as he beamed at me—apparently a bobby pin would do. He didn't say anything to me, but I knew by the cheeky grin on his face that he had something to say but he was keeping it to himself while he concentrated on picking the lock. We both heard an engine so he tried to be quicker about it, getting his off and then mine before he handed it back and I put it in my pocket and followed him as we followed Kathleen's path.

The two of us were dead set on getting in, freeing Sam and then punishing whomever or whatever had taken him. It was in that moment as we got to the barn where they were holding Sam that I realized I hated being away from Sam and Dean—I hated not being here to have their backs. Jen would always be my family and I would always love her more than life itself, but Sam and Dean were my family too and I couldn't leave them out here to simply fend for themselves. They meant everything to me and it was my job to stick by them and to make sure that neither of them would die—I could keep them safe and that was what I _should_ have been doing.

"Sam, are you hurt?" Dean asked him.

Sam shook his head. "No."

"Damn, it's good to see you!" Dean exclaimed and I rested my hand on the cage.

"I leave you two alone and you get yourself kidnapped?" I asked Sam, and he smiled at me.

Kathleen spoke up though. "How did you get out of the cuffs?"

"Oh, I know a trick or two." Dean replied.

I smiled at him as I kissed Sam's hand through the gate and then Dean and I looked over the locks but they were complicated. Sam explained to us that they were controlled by a box and showed us there it was which was very helpful. At the same time, we were still kind of iffy about what or who had actually done this, and it wasn't so straight forward—but our lives _weren't_, so it was kind of expected.

"Have you seen them?" Dean asked Sam.

Sam nodded to us. "Yeah. Guys, they're just people."

"And they jumped you? You must be getting a little rusty there, kiddo. What do they want?" Dean asked as he headed for the control box.

"I don't know. They let Jenkins go, but that was some sort of trap." Sam explained. "It really doesn't make any sense."

"Yes well they don't have to play by any rules, do they? I mean normally what we look for is kind of straight forward—they follow a pattern." I said with a shrug.

Dean nodded. "She's right—people are just plain crazy."

"Did you guys see anything else on the way in?" Sam asked.

"There were a lot of cars and in case you didn't know, you're in a barn." I replied with a small smile. "I'm pretty sure they take the cars when they take the people."

That little bit of knowledge seemed to appeal to Kathleen and she looked at us as Dean tried to find the key to the cages. I was pretty sure they were inside but my attention was focused on Kathleen when she opened up her mouth to ask me a question that burning inside of her.

"Did you…did you see an old black Mustang?" She asked me.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…yeah I did."

We all felt pretty bad when we realized that she was asking about a car that belonged to her brother, and Dean mentioned that the key had to be inside the house. I wasn't about to let him go search by himself, so the two of us headed into the basement of the house with flashlights, and found all sorts of collections of pictures. Then we headed upstairs as quiet as we could and we found some jars—one of which Dean picked up and I made a face…it had human teeth in it.

"Did you hear something?" I asked Dean softly.

He nodded and we turned around, facing a little girl and Dean said, "It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you."

She nodded. "I know."

Then before I knew what was going on she threw a knife at Dean, pinning his jacket to the wall, then when I went to stop her from calling her father, she stabbed me with another one. I paused a second when Dean cried out my name and then looked down at my wound and the blood on my hands before the two other Benders showed up and Dean went to fight them. He was actually doing pretty well, and I sat down because I was starting to feel a little lightheaded.

"I'm gonna kick your ass first, and then yours." Dean told them, but the father knocked him unconscious with a frying pan and then knocked me out too, Dean regaining consciousness before me. "Oh you gotta be kidding me? That's what this is about? You…you yahoos hunt people?"

"You ever killed before?" The father asked Dean.

Dean paused a moment. "Well, it depends on what you mean."

"I've hunted all my life, just like my father and his before him. I've hunted deer and bear; I even got a cougar once. But the best hunt is human. Oh, there's nothing like it. Holding their life in your hands, seeing the fear in their eyes just before they go dark makes you feel powerful alive." The father replied.

"You're a sick puppy." Dean told him softly.

The father kept going. "We give him a weapon, give him a fighting chance. It's kinda like our tradition passed down, father to son. Of course, only one or two a year, never enough to bring the law down. We've never been that sloppy."

"Don't sell yourself short, you're plenty sloppy." I told them, wishing I didn't feel a tad dizzy.

Father Bender went up to Dean and looked him in the eye. "So what, you're with that pretty cop? You're a cop?"

"If I tell you, you promise not to make me into an ashtray?" Dean answered, and one of the sons hit him in the face.

"The only reason I don't let my boys take you right here and now is that there's something I need to know." Father Bender explained.

Dean scoffed a little. "How about "it's not nice to marry your sister?"

The man grabbed a heated up poker and asked Dean if there were more cops on the way looking for them and I swallowed. I was in a lot of pain and pretty sure Dean still had something cheeky left in him to say, and I wanted him to be careful because I didn't want him hurt. Maybe he didn't remember, but I couldn't lose him—he meant far too much to me and now I was starting to freak out because the knife had obviously hit something semi-serious.

"Eat me! Oh no, no, no, wait, wait… you actually might." Dean said, and the son that had hit him before made a face.

"Stop playing games and answer the question—you play games and we'll play games." The son threatened Dean and Dean made a noise when I opened my mouth to speak, and so I shut my mouth. "Looks like there's gonna be a hunt tonight after all, boy and you get to pick the animal: the boy or the cop?"

I shook my head. "No one else is coming, all right?"

"I will stick this in your eye." The son holding the poker to Dean's face explained.

"The boy!" Dean said suddenly. "I pick the boy."

We were both aware that Sam was the one that could actually take care of himself out of the two of them—Sam or Kathleen—and yet I felt bad about it. These were hunters and as much as they wanted a game, they didn't want any trouble and we had brought a cop with us. Blame my feelings, but I knew that this really wasn't going to end well, and I needed to get untied.

"Lee, go do it." The father said, handing his son the key that Dean and I had come in to search for to free Kathleen and Sam. "Don't let him out though. Shoot him in the cage."

"What? I thought you said you're gonna hunt him, you're gonna give him a chance." Dean said suddenly.

The father looked at Dean. "Lee, when you're done with the boy, shoot the bitch too. We'll clean up this mess before any more cops come running around here."

The moment we heard a shot Dean yelled, "You hurt my brother I'll kill you, I swear. I'll kill you all, I WILL KILL YOU ALL!"

Father Bender called out for Lee but when he didn't answer he told his other son, Jerry to go with him to check, and left us with Missy—the little girl. It was actually kind of embarrassing that I had been stabbed by a 13 year-old girl, but I was trying not to dwell on it when Sam came in and got Dean and I untied as she ran off. I went after her even though I was bleeding and managed to lock her up in a closet before going back downstairs and trying to explain to Sam and Dean that I was fine.

"You need to have that looked at." Sam told me and Dean made a face and then cleared his throat a little which made Sam smirk. "Dean would you like to check her over and see if I missed something?"

"I believe Kathleen is still out there." Dean said and I nodded so we headed out to find her.

When we got outside she was coming out of the barn and when she asked where Missy was we explained where she was and I told her that I locked her in a closet. Then Dean wanted to know where Father Bender was and she said she shot him while he was trying to escape but I was pretty sure it was revenge. All I wanted to do was get to a hospital and I smiled at Dean when he let me lean on him for support…for some reason I was seriously falling for him.

"So, the State Police and the FBI are gonna be here within the hour, they're gonna want to talk to you…I suggest that you're both long gone by then." Kathleen explained after she talked to the sheriff station.

"Thanks." Dean replied. "Listen, I don't mean to press our luck but we're kinda in the middle of nowhere and she's been stabbed…think we could catch a ride?"

Kathleen nodded. "Start walking… duck if you see a squad car."

"Sounds great to me, thanks." Sam told her.

I smiled at her. "Don't worry I get it and there's honestly no hard feelings."

"Listen, huh…I'm sorry about your brother." Dean said slowly.

Kathleen smiled and nodded. "Thank you. It was really hard not knowing what happened to him, I thought it would be easier once I knew the truth, but… it isn't really. Anyway, you should go."

The three of us nodded and moved away from her, and Dean opened up my jacket and looked over my wound and I pushed his hand away when he got a worried look on his face. He sighed loudly and told me to stop, and I rolled my eyes and shook my head and then he gave me a look and I pointed to Sam—there was no way I was going to let him carry me when we had found Sam and Sam was all right.

"Don't ever do that again!" Dean scolded Sam.

Sam laughed a little. "Do what?"

"Go missing like that." Dean replied.

"You were worried about me." Sam told him happily.

Dean gave him a look. "All I'm saying is that you vanish like that again, I'm not looking for you."

"Sure you will." Sam told him.

"I'm not." Dean protested, but the three of us knew he really would.

It was actually kind of adorable the looks the two were giving each other and I wanted more than anything for them to stay this way forever. I envied their relationship—mostly because I missed Annie and the two of them seemed so close and so willing to do absolutely _anything_ for each other.

"So, you got sidelined by a 13 year-old girl, huh?" Sam asked Dean with a laugh.

Dean gave him a look. "Oh shut up."

"Just saying you're getting rusty there, kiddo." Sam replied.

"Shut up." Dean told him laughing.

I smiled at them and then stopped and Dean turned around as we walked. "You know speaking of the creepy girl can you please carry me before I pass out?"

Dean smiled too as Sam reached out to stroke my hair and he picked me up, making a joke about how heavy I was that made me hit him in the shoulder, but we knew it was a joke…we knew that there was something about the moment that was bringing us closer together.

**Note: Next chapter very soon. I'm pretty much trying to work on all of my SPN stories because the new season though making me upset mostly, is giving me soooooo much inspiration. The other stories will get updated too though.**


	11. That's the First Step so Listen to John

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**All right now we're getting into the romance and the secrets and as it progresses I really do think it gets better.**

**I hope you enjoy this one…I really enjoyed putting it together.**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

xxxx

"Oh my God I'm fine." I told them as I sat up in the hospital bed. "Stop babying me—you're enjoying torturing me and I can't believe _you're_ letting him do it, Sammy."

Sam shrugged and smiled at me as Dean started to annoy me again with the spoon in the pudding. I didn't need to be fed and he knew it, but the three of us were kind of bored just sitting there waiting for the nurse to come back and tell me I was fit to leave. When Dean came at me with the 'helicopter spoon' again I smacked his arm and laughed when some of the pudding got upset and landed on his shirt.

"Oops…my bad." I said with a laugh.

Dean gave me a look. "You did that on purpose."

"I did no such thing, stop blaming the wounded." I replied, a grin on my face.

Dean smiled a little and then the doctor came in and told me I was free to go and so I shooed the boys out of the room and got dressed, all of us heading to the motel and then settling in and bonding some more. The three of us felt like a family and even though Dean and I still had yet to talk about _anything_ regarding my verbal vomit, it felt nice to be close to him and Sam. Then it happened…a visit from the past that I hadn't wanted to involve the boys in—especially since I'd been lying and now they were going to know about it.

"Chelsea?" I asked into the phone.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Little Lana." Chelsea said with playfulness in her voice.

"Wow. I didn't think I'd ever hear your voice again." I told her, and it was true—no matter what it was that I was lying about, I hadn't expected her to contact me ever again.

Chelsea laughed. "Well I never thought I'd try and help you."

"What's this about?" I asked her, looking around outside of the motel to make sure that Sam and Dean weren't around to ask me what was going on.

"This is about me showing you and Jennifer that I wasn't just something you two could push around—I have brains, brawn, and I know all about your little bonding with the Winchesters, and the man who can help you put your parents' souls at rest and the death of Jen's last boyfriend—it just comes at a price." She explained to me.

The only thing weirder than Chelsea calling me out of the blue was Chelsea calling me to barter away information. Knowing Chelsea and what she was capable of, I just took a deep breath and rubbed my temples and decided to play her little game with her. The only thing holding me back was how deep the involvement with Sam and Dean could potentially get.

"I thought it would." I told her finally when she made an annoyed noise at my silence. "What kind of price?"

"I want Dean Winchester." She said without skipping a beat.

I froze. "What?"

"That or his younger brother, Sam. Unless…you or Jen would rather sacrifice yourselves." Chelsea added with a little hope in her voice.

"Of course I'm going to sacrifice myself." I told her quickly, swallowing a little. "No questions asked."

"What?" I heard Dean say.

I turned around and shushed him by putting my finger to my mouth and he gave me a look and I knew we'd be talking about this soon. It wasn't that I didn't want to somehow tell them 'goodbye', it was just that I didn't want them making a big deal about things and babying me. They seemed to be doing that a lot lately and this was just going to make them baby me more.

"Just tell me where I need to meet you, and I'll come alone and unarmed so you can sacrifice me or whatever." I told her and Dean gave me a concerned look.

"Alley behind the church. Tomorrow night. Better show or I'll take someone precious to you." Chelsea explained to me.

Before I could say anything, Chelsea hung up and I turned to Dean and sighed as I pocketed my cell phone and he started to talk to me. He hated that I was being secretive and when I said it was just a joke between Jen and I and I needed to go see her, he saw right through my lie. Then he was even _more_ upset that I was lying to him when he and Sam could help me with whatever it was that I was hiding from them.

"You're not sacrificing yourself." Dean told me firmly.

I took a deep breath. "I don't think that you get to tell me what I can and can't do."

Dean was rather upset that I would even _say_ something like that to him and in a huff he was back in the motel room and I was sighing because this wasn't his fault and I had no right to take anything out on him. So I followed him into the motel room and he sat in a huff on the bed, me and Sam making direct eye contact and him nodding. He and I always seemed to be on the exact same page, and I smiled at him when he kissed the top of my head and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, leaving the motel room.

I took that moment to climb onto the bed with Dean and he gave me a look so I kissed him and when he didn't respond, I pulled away and pouted a little. He narrowed his eyes a little at the emotional manipulation, but when I kissed him this time, he returned it, his hand going into my hair. I wanted more than anything for him to just talk to me about my little outburst but I wasn't going to force anything on him—I wanted Dean Winchester to come around in his own time anyway.

"Sam gave us some space…" I whispered as Dean bit the hollow of my neck softly making me smile and moan softly.

Dean nodded and kissed the bite mark. "I caught the look between the two of you."

"Oh, so you're not _completely_ brain dead and oblivious then?" I asked him, giggling when he rolled his eyes at me and in one quick movement pinned me to the bed.

"You mind telling me what that phone conversation was about?" Dean asked me.

I shook my head and sat up a little, pulling off my shirt and wishing that would be enough for us to move on but Dean was stubborn and he wasn't letting it go. Even when I kissed him and he kissed me back, the moment we pulled away for air he asked me the same question and I sighed. It wasn't something I wanted to talk about or come clean about and if this was our last intimate moments together, I wanted some damn action.

"I think we can talk later." I told him.

He shook his head. "We're not having sex until you explain the phone call."

I nodded and then gave him a look, and he nodded too and got off of me. When I grabbed my shirt from the floor where it had been tossed and went to put it on, Dean told me I was being selfish, and that wasn't what family was about. The notion that he thought of me as family almost made me tell him, but when I turned around he had already dialed Sam to get him to come back so I just sighed and dropped it, ending up sleeping in Sam's bed that night because Dean was upset.

I couldn't blame him, and it was those thoughts that made me have trouble falling asleep that night. When I woke up the next morning, I stretched and then saw that Dean wasn't on his bed and I turned to look at Sam. I smiled at him and pushed his hair out of his face—he was so adorable when he slept. As he stirred I returned to the feeling that something was definitely wrong, and I got up and went to the door, looking at how it seemed precarious even though it looked fine—then I saw the note. I saw the note and suddenly everything was wrong and I started to panic. The note read:

_Dean's with me. Show up before he learns the_

_Truth—unless you don't mind him learning_

_About your little secrets…and Sam._

I showed Sam the note and sighed. "I don't have any idea why the two of you even tolerate me in the first place."

"What is going on here, Lan?" Sam asked me.

I took a deep breath. "It's the return of my past."

I knew that he wanted more than that, but I was already grabbing my jacket and then raising an eyebrow at Chelsea calling me. She was bored that I hadn't been there sooner and when I explained I was just about to head to a library and a store to get some information and some things to do a spell to track her down, she told me it was more fun for her if I just showed up. So I hurried to the coordinates that she had given me and I swallowed when Sam said my name in an annoyed tone and gave me a look.

"Chelsea?" Sam asked me.

"My name sounds so much hotter when little Sammy Winchester says it." Chelsea said, licking her fangs.

Sam shot her a look. "Don't call me that."

"Oh, I forgot—only your brother and your girlfriend can call you that. Lana, Lana, Lana I thought you'd be here sooner." Chelsea mocked me with a laugh.

"Well you called—didn't that defeat the purpose of watching us squirm to get to you?" I asked her.

When I gave her a lock and laughed she didn't look as amused and made a sudden movement that I wasn't ready to anticipate. Chelsea grabbed my throat, and though I could tell that Dean wanted to cry out and get her to let me go, a sound never escaped his lips and with one move she had tossed Sam away from us. I squirmed a little and then looked her in the eye as she looked at me angrily.

"I'm going to kill you and then Dean, and possibly leave Sam alive for my own pleasure." Chelsea said, winking at Sam who looked disgusted. "You people are way too good at killing demons."

"Let her go!" Sam said, hitting Chelsea when he got back over to us.

She flinched a little, but her vampire strength and her ability to read minds was the only thing that kept her on her feet. I watched her as she gave him a look and then she turned to Dean and smiled. It annoyed me that she was smiling at him like she knew so much and the problem was she did…she knew so much that could threaten our already fragile right now balance of things.

"Dean and I had a little chat about things while you two weren't here." Chelsea said and shrugged, tightening her grip around my throat a little. "He's a little pissed that _someone_—I'm not naming names—didn't tell him the truth about me."

I tried to swallow. "You mean about how Jenny and I stupidly let you get turned?"

"Yeah…how you and Jennifer get people you care about cared." Chelsea explained.

"I don't understand why you didn't tell me, Lanni." Dean told me, hurt in his voice and he wasn't even trying to mask it as Chelsea moved the hair away from my neck, licking my skin so she could bite me.

Sam seemed hurt about it too and I kicked a little and Chelsea smiled at me, glad that she had managed to put a wedge in between me and the boys. It was rather annoying too that neither of them was making a move towards me, not because they didn't care, but because they were still a little stunned that I kept such a vital secret. Honestly the secret could have gotten us all killed and I was feeling bad enough about it, but it was worse when Chelsea grinned, and ran her incisors along my flesh. Right when she was about to bite me Sam finally moved towards us and stabbed her through the heart with a stake I had given him before we came in, and she screamed, making me double forward to get her voice out of my ear, and then I turned to see her burst into ashes right in front of me.

"That's not the end of her…" I said softly.

Sam gave me a look. "Are you kidding me?"

"Chelsea…she has tricks up her sleeves." I told him and then went to untie Dean, who pulled away from me and I nodded slowly. "We should get back to the motel and I need to call Jenny and let her know what's up."

"Maybe you should just go back to Kansas." Dean spat at me hostilely and then headed out of the warehouse and Sam looked at me sadly.

I knew that he didn't want me to leave and he told me to give him and Dean a little time, but that he didn't want me to just take off. Truth was I knew Chelsea would be back, and I knew this was not the time to leave them so I just decided to go ahead and go back to the motel, even though Dean wasn't talking to me. Oh well…I was sticking around to help them and to let them know that they were still my family and in fact in a little over a week later as the three of us accepted that we were going to be a team even though Dean still had yet to even speak to me. It was mostly me and Sam doing the bonding and it was the two of us that got wind of a hunt and told Dean so we headed to a young woman named Meredith's building.

"Manhunt continues for Stealth Killer—second murder in 2 months." Sam said while Dean got a bag out of the trunk.

I fixed the ridiculous "Pierce-Franklin Alarm Systems" outfit I was wearing that the boys were outfitted with as well and sighed. It wasn't that I didn't like dressing up to lie—that was my favorite part—it was that I felt like my time could be better spent doing more research while Sam and Dean actually looked around inside, but they were babying me. They were worried that without them around to protect me I couldn't handle myself or something and that bothered me…it bothered me a lot—I could take care of myself no matter how "sweet" the gesture of protection was.

Even so, we got into the apartment because the landlady believed our story, and after closing the apartment door, Dean noticed the security chain was cut. Dean explained to the lady that we were just seeing what was wrong so we could stop it from happening again. Then Sam asked the hard questions—like if she was the one who found the body—and she explained to us that she had, and that it had been a few days after she had died…she had been alerted by the smell.

To make things more exciting, the windows weren't broken, the door was bolted and the security chain was on the door since they had to cut it to get in to retrieve the body. Moreover, the alarm was on, and there had been absolutely no sign of struggle at all when the policemen and investigators had been searching things.

"Everything was in perfect condition…except Meredith." She explained to us.

Sam nodded slowly. "In what condition was Meredith then?"

"Meredith was all over, in pieces. The guy who killed her must have been some kind of whack job. But I tell you, if I didn't know any better, I would have said a wild animal did it." She told him.

We gave the apartment a once-over without her and found some EMF residue which honestly got me incredibly excited. It wasn't people dying or anything—it was the exhilaration of a hunt and the satisfaction of stopping something and saving lives. Now we just had to figure out what exactly we were dealing with so we could research it a little more and stop it before it struck again so we headed to the police station and Sam and I waited out in the car.

"I wish he'd look at me." I told Sam, who nodded and gave me a small smile as Dean came back out to the car.

"You say you talked to the cops?" Sam asked him.

"Huh…yeah, I spoke to Amy, the charming perky officer of the law." Dean said with a grin on his face.

Sam nodded to prompt Dean continue. "Yeah? What did you find out?"

"She's a Sagittarius, she loves tequila, I mean…" He sighed happily and smiled a little more when I scoffed. "…and she's got that little tattoo…"

"Dean!" Sam and I scolded him.

"What? Yeah…huh, nothing we don't already know. Except for one thing they're keeping out of the papers." Dean told us and we both gave him looks and he was no longer having fun with his game. "Meredith's heart was missing."

I nodded and pointed at the shape of blood on the pictures. "Well it's not a werewolf—the lunar cycle is not right. Plus, if it was a creature, it would've left some kind of trace. It's probably a spirit…what the Hell is that symbol?"

None of us knew and so we headed to a bar and Sam let me look over John's journal while I looked things up on my laptop, Dean at the bar flirting. I knew that I deserved his not trusting me, but it was driving me crazy seeing him hitting on random girls. It was too much to ask for him to talk it out with me—or even just _yell_ at me—and I knew I was going to have to deal with it but we were also doing a goddamn heart and he was my freaking Winchester! Oh God…no more confessions, Lana…stop…

"I talked to the bartender." Dean told us when he came to rejoin us, a napkin in hand.

Sam nodded. "Did you get anything, besides her number?"

"Dude, I'm a professional, I'm offended that you would think that." Dean told us but we weren't convinced _or_ impressed. "All right, here." He said proudly, showing us the napkin, making sure I saw it.

"Would you mind doing a little bit of thinking with your upstairs brain, Dean?" I asked him. "You could at least _pretend_ that you're taking this seriously."

He seemed amused that I was so upset and smirked a little. "There's nothing to find out: Meredith worked here, she waited tables, everyone here's her friend, every body says she's normal. She didn't do or say anything weird before she died. So, what about that symbol? Did you find anything?"

"No, nothing. Nowhere in Dad's journal or in the usual books, I just have to dig a little deeper I guess, but with Lan's help I'll get there." Sam explained.

It was apparently Dean's turn to scoff and I rolled my eyes when he made a joke about how Sam and I were just the perfect team, and then I sighed loudly when Dean wiggled his eyebrows at us. Sam cut into the tension between us by mentioning the first victim, Ben Swardstrom, which was good because otherwise I could not have been held responsible for my violence towards Dean. Basically a month prior, he was found mutilated in his house which was locked with the alarm on and Sam still didn't know the link between the banker and the waitress cause so far they had nothing in common.

"To recap, the only successful intel we've scored so far is the bartender's phone number." Dean replied in a cheeky tone.

I was going to react to him but I caught Sam's gaze and noticed the blonde that he was looking at. He stood up as she made her way over to him and apparently her name was Meg and they knew each other and he asked her why she wasn't still in California. Mostly I was worried because she had a weird aura about her and I wasn't impressed at all by her…I was worried about the potential danger to the boys she could present—blame my instincts.

"Oh, I came, I saw, I conquered. Oh, and I met…what's his name… something Malcolm Murray, at a bar." She told him with a smile.

Dean was surprised by her "The Ballad of Malcolm Murray" reference, and then Sam asked her if she was from Chicago, she informed him that she was from Andover, Massachusetts. Sam nodded and Dean got a little antsy about being in the conversation and cleared his throat so that his brother would realize that he was in need of attention. The action made me smack Dean in the arm and at the same time Meg reacted and Sam turned to face Dean and me.

"Dude, cover your mouth!" Meg told Dean.

"Meg, this is my brother Dean and next to him is Lana…she's my ex now." Sam explained and blushed a little.

Meg nodded slowly. "So you're Lana? I guess your feelings for Dean surfaced then?"

I was shocked but Dean was flattered and asked, "So you heard of me?"

"I heard of you. Nice, the way you treat your brother like luggage." She told him angrily.

"Sorry?" He asked her, confused and no longer smiling.

She nodded. "Why don't you let him do what he wants to do? Stop dragging him over God's Green Earth."

"Meg, it's alright." Sam told her.

Dean nodded slowly and whistled. "Okay, awkward. I'm gonna get a drink now."

He gave Sam a look and I smiled awkwardly and told her it was nice to meet her before I followed after Dean and sat next to him at the bar. For just then he seemed less angry with me because of how Meg had reacted to him and I sighed a little and I reached out to grasp his hand and was surprised he actually let me touch him. A slight smile spread across my face and when he looked up at me and made actual, direct eye contact I felt even better about things.

"What kind of terrible things do you think he told her about me?" Dean asked me.

I shrugged and smiled a little. "You're his big brother and he looks up to you…I highly doubt he just bad mouthed you the whole time he was with her. Wait a minute…he met her when he dated me? When the Hell did he meet her and how does _she_ know I like you? He knew while he was dating me?"

"I thought you were supposed to be the observational one." Dean told me with a laugh.

I pushed him in the arm hard and then we saw Sam making his way back over to us and we headed out of the bar and Dean asked Sam how he knew Meg and Sam sighed. He knew what I knew—Dean was pissed that Sam would say something bad about him behind his back and I wanted to know what she knew too. Sam explained that he met her right after he and Dean fought in Indiana—during the time period when he wasn't calling me or returning my calls.

"I think there's something strange going on here, guys." Sam explained to us.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, tell me about it, she wasn't even that into me."

"No, man. I mean, like our kind of strange, like maybe even a lead." Sam said when I smacked Dean upside the head and he grabbed my hand.

"Dean!" I chastised when he grabbed my other one too. "Let go!"

"Why would you say that?" Dean asked Sam, holding my hands behind my back and still walking me out to the car.

Sam chuckled a little when I squirmed. "I met Meg weeks ago, literally on the side of the road and now I run into her in some random Chicago bar. I mean the same bar where a waitress was slaughtered by something supernatural. You don't think that's a little weird?"

"I don't know: random coincidence. It happens." Dean replied.

"You let me go right now or I'm kicking you where it hurts." I threatened and Dean chuckled and kept his hold. "What? You don't think I will?"

Dean shook his head. "Nope…you're not going to hurt my cargo."

I sighed because he was right. "Please just let go."

"I'm looking for an apology for assaulting my head." Dean explained to me.

"Well you're not getting one." I told him and sighed because he was still holding my hands behind my back.

"Guys, focus, please, all right. Coincidences _don't_ happen to us. I could be wrong; I'm just saying there's something about that girl that I can't put my finger on." Sam said and then pushed on Dean. "Let her go."

Dean sighed and nodded letting go of my hands and shooting me a warning glance when I smacked him arm. Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head, calling us children, and then Dean smirked at his brother and it was _my_ turn to roll my eyes. Maybe I was acting like a child but Dean and I needed to have an actual conversation and he wasn't going to give it to me unless I pushed him for one and I didn't want to push! Why was liking him so goddamn hard?

"I bet you'd like to put a finger on it. Maybe she's not a suspect, maybe you've got a thing for her, maybe you think a little too much with the upstairs brain, huh?" Dean asked his brother, raising his eyebrows playfully and pointing down at Sam's crotch.

"Do me a favor: check and see if there's really a Meg Marsters from Andover, Massachusetts, and see if you can dig anything up on that symbol on Meredith's floor." Sam told us and I nodded.

Dean made a face. "What are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna watch Meg." Sam replied with a shrug.

Dean chuckled. "Ah, ah, yeah, you are…"

"I'll try to see what's what…better safe than sorry." Sam explained to him.

"Alright, you little pervert." Dean said and I couldn't help but crack a smile.

Sam left Dean and I in the motel and we started to research as Sam took the Impala to go and check on Meg, and it was pretty easy to look up Meg Marsters—the woman really existed. Dean found the information on her while I looked up the symbol and showed it to him, him nodding, but not really smiling _at_ me…just smiling that we had the information in front of us. So then he picked up his phone and called up Sam, teasing him about his way of showing affection and after I smacked him playfully and he grabbed my hand I swallowed…our fingers interlaced and he just held my hand in his lap.

"Yeah, Lanni found the symbol—it's a Zoroastrian symbol…I'll let her tell you about it." Dean said, and handed me the phone, still holding my hand with his other one and looking at me.

I blushed a little and put the phone up to my ear with my free hand. "Hey, Sammy. Um…the symbol is actually used to summon a kind of demon of darkness called Daeva whose origin goes back to 2000 BC and nobody knows its real appearance. They're really savage and from what I've found, the demon must be summoned so somebody's controlling it, Sam—somebody who really knows his stuff."

"All right…well…I'll keep my eye out." Sam told me.

"Sounds like a plan—hey, your brother is making annoying hand gestures so uh…here he is again." I told Sam with a laugh and gave Dean the phone as Sam chuckled too.

"Why don't you go give her a private strip-o-gram? No, but bite her—not too hard though that would leave a mar—Sam? Sammy?" Dean asked and then chuckled, Sam obviously having hung up on him.

I laughed a little and then randomly reached out to stroke Dean's hair. He turned to me and leaned in a little and I wished he wasn't still holding my hand in his lap because he was kind of starting to take my breath away. When I swallowed he glanced at my lips and smirked at me, then he let go of my hand and stood up to go to his duffle and I made a face. Had he seriously just done that? Left me hanging completely after making it look like he was going to kiss me?

"Are we ever going to talk about any of this?" I asked him suddenly even though I knew it wasn't the time.

Dean chuckled a little. "I think we pretty much talked about the symbol already—and how that Meg chick has no idea what she's talking about."

"I meant about how I feel about you, Idiot." I told him rolling my eyes. "I mean are you even going to acknowledge it?"

"No…because feelings are a weakness and they could get us killed." Dean replied and then he slowly turned to look at me as I nodded. "Come on, Lanni, don't look so down—what did you _want_ me to say? Did you want me to ask you to be my girlfriend? Promise not to hit on any other girls and commit to you? If any demon caught wind of how much you meant to me, we'd both have Hell to pay—literally."

I got what he was saying and I wanted to be really upset but then I went over what he had said: "If any demon caught wind of how much you to me, we'd both have Hell to pay—literally". That meant that Dean had feelings for me—he was suppressing them, but he had them and even if he hadn't realized he'd said it, they were there. It annoyed me that he wouldn't just admit it and maybe stop glancing at me and then looking away, but I promised I wouldn't push…I promised that I would give him his space and be professional and so I had to keep my promise.

"I was having some negative vibes earlier with Meg…do you think that maybe she has something to do with the symbol?" I asked Dean with a shrug, trying to change the subject. "I mean Sam also thinks something is wrong…that something is up with her."

Dean looked at me. "Why didn't you tell me you were getting bad vibes from her sooner?"

"Because in all honesty I was getting bad vibes from the bartender but do you really think she has something to do with the symbol?" I asked him.

Dean took a deep breath and then he nodded, opening his mouth to say something but then deciding against it and then Sam came running in the door. We were going to have a heart-heart because I was going to say something to him that I thought needed to be said, but the look on Sam's face made me rethink everything. I had to focus on the mission at hand and Sam looked like he had some information for us so Dean and I focused every bit of our attention on him.

"I gotta talk to you!" Sam exclaimed. "That symbol? Meg had an altar with that symbol on it and she was communicating with someone."

"With who? With the Daeva?" Dean asked him.

Sam shook his head. "No, you said those things were savages. No, this is something different; someone is giving her orders, someone who's coming to that warehouse."

"Well Dean called Amy earlier and found out that both of the victims were from Lawrence…so we all kind of fit the bill on this one." I explained to him.

"What if she has something to do with whatever killed Mom?" Sam asked us.

I bit my lip. "Guys this feels like something big so I think we should stick together on this. Normally I would support splitting up—questioning Meg _and_ taking out that altar of hers but…what if something bad happens?"

"I have to agree with Lanni when she puts it like that…I don't think we should do this alone." Dean agreed.

I saw the look in his eyes and I swallowed reaching out and grasping his hand while Sam grabbed a duffle and put some things in it. Dean opened up his phone and dialed his father's number and I smiled a little when he grasped my hand and looked at me as it rang. Then it was obvious that it went to his voicemail and though Dean looked mighty crestfallen, he just left a message.

"We think that we've got a serious lead on the thing that killed Mom so, this warehouse, its 1435 West Erie. Dad, if you get this, get to Chicago as soon as you can." Dean explained, and then hung up the phone and pocketed it.

Sam came back into the room and shrugged a little at his collection of warfare. "I'm not sure what to expect so I guess we should just expect everything, huh?"

We started to get all of the weapons put together, and I couldn't help but wonder how I was going to fit into their lives if we killed the demon that killed their mother. That was all that John had ever wanted according to Dean, and honestly I wasn't sure Sam would stick around after this—Sam wanted a normal life someday…he didn't want to hunt forever. Dean on the other hand…Dean was the one I had no idea about because as sure as I was that he'd keep hunting, he was full of surprises still.

"Big night." Dean said suddenly and I looked up and smiled as they spoke to one another.

"Yeah. Nervous?" Sam asked him.

Dean shook his head. "No, no. Are you?"

"No, no way. Yeah, could you imagine if we actually found that damn thing, that demon?" Sam asked him a little excited.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, alright?" Dean told him.

Sam nodded. "I know, I'm just saying, what if we did? What if this whole thing was over tonight? Man, I'd sleep for a month, go back to school, just be a person again."

"You wanna go back to school?" Dean asked him.

Sam and I both looked at him and I knew that there was going to be a small sort of row and I didn't think I should be in the room for it. Part of me wanted to stay and hear what was going to be said but it didn't feel like it was any of my business so I wanted to give them their space.

"Yeah, once we're done hunting the thing." Sam said with a nod.

"Huh..." Dean replied.

Sam gave him another look. "Why? Is there something wrong with that?"

"No, no, it's great, good for you." Dean told him and it didn't sound so sincere.

"I mean, what are you gonna do when it's all over?" Sam asked him as I started to cross to leave the room.

Dean shrugged a little. "It's never gonna be over, there's gonna be others so there'll always be something to hunt."

"But there's gotta be something that you want for yourself." Sam said as I made it to the bathroom door.

"I don't want you to leave the second this is over, Sam!" Dean answered as I turned the doorknob, and I watched Dean head over to the chest of drawers and lean on it as I went into the bathroom and closed the door behind me, still listening through it.

It was a moment between them I shouldn't have been a part of and I wanted to let them talk things out amongst themselves. Whether we were bonded to each other or not, they were brothers and this was their fight, and it wasn't my place to be in between them. So I simply listened to them because I was curious, but I was keeping my two cents to myself on this one.

"Dude, what's your problem?" Sam asked him.

"Why do you think I drag you everywhere, huh? Why do you think I came and got you at Stanford in the first place?" Dean countered.

There was a pause. "'Cause Dad was in trouble, 'cause he wanted to find the thing that killed Mom."

"Yes, that, but it's more than that, man. You and me, and Dad, I want us to…I want us to be together again, I want us to be a family again." Dean explained to him and I found the tears forming. "Hell I even want Lanni to be there with us."

I hadn't expected the last part and I perked my ears up…had he really just said that? Was I really _so_ important to him that he considered me part of their family? And was that even a thing to get so excited about?

"Dean, we _are_ a family. I'd do anything for you but things will never be the way they were before." Sam told him.

"They could be…" Dean said, and he actually sounded hopeful.

"I don't want them to be. I'm not gonna live this life forever. Dean, when this is all over, you're gonna have to let me go my own way." Sam replied after another pause. "And if you really want to keep Lan around, you're going to have to talk to her…you're going to have to let her in."

There was then silence between them, so after a few more moments I came out of the bathroom to go back to what I was doing and they simply glanced at me and then went back to what they had been doing as well. The talk seemed mostly out of their systems now, and so we finished up and went to the warehouse to see Meg and she was reciting incantations. Dean asked her where the Daeva was and Sam asked her who she was waiting for, and after telling us that weapons wouldn't harm the Daeva, she told us she'd been waiting for us and the Daeva appeared and attacked us.

If I haven't mentioned lately how much I hate being rendered unconscious and tied up…I have to mention it now. I came too after Dean did, and a little before Sam and realized I was bleeding just a little bit—bleeding _again_. Mostly I was worried about the boys though, and thinking about trusting my instincts just a little more since Meg actually _was_ bad news…since we were totally screwed since all three of us were now caught and bound up.

"Hey Sam, don't take this the wrong way but your girlfriend is a bitch." Dean told Sam when Sam came to.

Sam nodded slowly. "Yes, the whole thing was a trap. Running into you at the bar, following you here. Hearing what you had to say. It was all set up wasn't it? And that the victims were from Lawrence…"

"Doesn't mean anything. It was just to draw you in, that's all." Meg replied and looked at me. "I expected you to figure it out sooner what with all of your little talents."

"You killed those 2 people for nothing?" Dean asked her after he glanced at me because of what Meg said.

Meg shrugged a little, still looking at me. "Maybe—I've killed a lot more for a lot less."

I didn't like the way she was looking at me and neither did Dean or Sam, but what worried me the _most_ was that she acted like she knew things about me—things about me that I didn't want anyone to know until I was ready to tell them. Dean was being cheeky, and Sam had things figured out, and I was starting to think that Meg was going to spill everything and I couldn't have that.

"You trapped us, good for you. It's "Miller time", why don't you kill us already?" Dean asked her.

Meg looked at Dean finally. "Not very quick on the uptake, are we? This trap isn't for you."

"Dad. It's a trap for Dad." Sam said out loud.

Dean scoffed at her. "Oh sweetheart, you're dumber than you look, 'cause even if Dad was in town, which he is not, he wouldn't walk into something like this, he's too good."

"He's pretty good, I'll give you that, but, you see," She told him, getting closer to him and it was making me annoyed with her even more, "he has one weakness."

"What's that?" Dean asked her with attitude.

I spoke up. "You and Sam. Whether he answers your calls or not, he's your father and you're his boys and if he thinks this will avenge Mary, he's gonna show."

Meg smiled. "You're smarter than I pegged you for, Lana—on top of that I happen to know he is in town and he'll come and try to save you and then the Daevas will kill everybody. Nice and slow and messy."

"Well, I've got news for you: it's gonna take a lot more than some shadow to kill him." Dean told her firmly.

"Oh, the Daevas are in the room here, they're invisible; their shadows are just the only part you can see." Meg explained.

I looked around and I swallowed a little, wishing I didn't feel as helpless as I did right then, and then Sam spoke up and I looked at him. He and Dean were worried about John, and I knew that if we could figure something out then we could get out of this mess alive. So I tried to get out of my restraints without alerting Meg as she smiled at Sam.

"Why are you doing this, Meg? What kind of deal you've got worked out here, huh? And with who?" Sam asked her firmly.

Meg shrugged a little. "I'm doing this for the same reasons you do what you do: loyalty, love, like the love you have for Mommy…and Jess."

"Go to Hell." Sam told her when she mentioned Jessica.

"Baby, I'm already there." Meg replied.

I watched as she got closer to Sam and told him that she knew how he felt about her—that she knew he had watched her changing. It was kind of disturbing to watch her hit on Sam so strongly like that and then I noticed that Dean was trying to cut through his ropes and I wished I felt naked without a knife too. In fact I really wanted to be out of the room when Sam started to kind of hit on her back and she heard Dean's knife ad headed over to him, taking his knife and throwing it away.

"Are you just trying to distract me while your brother gets free?" She asked Sam.

Sam shook his head. "No, no, it's because I have a knife of my own."

He pushed her back from him and Dean told him to go and take care of the altar, leaving me to close my eyes and focus as the Daevas appeared again and took Meg, sending her flying out the window. I got out of my restraints before Dean made it over to me and then we went to the window to see Meg's body sprawled out on the street. Dean wanted to ask me how I got out of my restraints with no knife or anything, but it wasn't the time or place for that conversation, so we all headed back to the motel instead, Sam still holding the bag containing the different weapons. When we entered the room there was a figure standing in front of the window and when he turned I knew I went pale—he was the man from my dreams…the man that Bethany and Marcus had been telling me to find.

"Dad!" Dean said, and I had to do a double take when I realized that the man I was supposed to find was in fact Sam and Dean's father, John…and Dean looked _so_ happy to be in the same room with him.

"Hey boys." He answered before embracing Dean when Dean headed over to him, and then he looked at Sam. "Hi Sam."

"Hey Dad." He told him before putting down his bag.

Then John looked at me when Dean apologized for not knowing it was a trap and I swallowed because the look he gave me reminded me of the look Meg had given me—somehow he knew who I was but I'd never seen him before…not before my dreams anyway. Dean and Sam noticed the look and then Dean piped in and told him that I was Lana, their hunting companion and I held out my hand and John shook it slowly.

"Nice to meet you." He told me with a smile, giving me a once-over.

I smiled as best I could. "You too…um…how long have you been here?"

"I got there just in time to see the girl take the swan dive. She was the bad guy right?" John asked them, he and I still looking at each other, our hands still in each other's.

"Yes, sir." They answered in unison as I just nodded.

I didn't know how to just bring up that I needed his help with my parents' spirits while we were on a hunt that had nothing to do with them, and I had no idea how to talk to him with the boys there without spilling things I didn't want to spill. How did he know me anyway? It was obvious that there were things he didn't want the boys to know about me and with Dean glancing at me like he was jealous I was still touching his father and Sam wondering what the Hell was going on, I was surprised John and I were remaining so damn calm here.

"Good. Though, it doesn't surprise me, it's tried to stop me before." John told them, pulling me out of my thoughts as he dropped my hand.

"The demon has?" Sam asked him.

John nodded. "He knows I'm close—it knows I'm gonna kill it…not just exorcise or send it back to Hell, actually kill it."

"How?" Dean and I asked him.

"I'm working on that." John replied smiling.

"Well, let us come with you, we'll help." Sam told him. "Lana is also a perfect addition to the team—even dean thinks so."

John smiled at me and then shook his head. "No Sam. Not yet. Listen—try to understand…this demon is a scary son of a bitch. I don't want you caught in the crossfire, I don't want you hurt. I'm sure that Lana can handle herself too, but this is too dangerous."

"Dad, you don't have to worry about us." Sam tried.

"Of course I do, I'm your father." John answered, tears welling up in Sam's eyes. "Listen Sammy, last time we were together we had one hell of a fight."

Sam nodded slowly. "Yes sir."

"It's good to see you again. It's been a long time." John said sincerely.

"Too long." Sam nodded, and John smiled a little and hugged him close and I wiped a tear away.

Dean reached out and stroked my hair and I smiled at him a little, John looking over at us and then me going over to Sam and moving the duffle, turning to see John whisper something to Dean and then pull away. I raised an eyebrow because looked miffed, and shook his head, but John's smile made him nod slowly and then the Daevas attacked and ruined the moment. They went after John first and then me and the boys and when I mentioned light, Sam took a flare bomb out of the duffle and it went off, the shadows disappearing long enough for the four of us to head out of the room. Sam wanted to leave immediately, but Dean shook his head a little and it looked like he was making a really tough decision in his head.

"Wait, wait, wait! Sam, wait. Dad, you can't come with us." Dean told him.

"What? What are you talking about?" Sam asked Dean, totally miffed.

"Hey boys, you're beat to hell." John told them and then reached out to move some of my hair out of my face to reveal a cut and I just let him. "You should get Lana looked at."

I smiled at him a little. "I can handle myself, thank you."

"We'll be alright." Dean assured him.

Sam made a face. "Dean, we should stick together…we'll go after this demon—"

"—Sam, listen to me. We almost got dad killed in there. Don't you understand? They're not gonna stop. They're gonna try again, they're gonna use us to get to him. Maybe Meg was right: Dad's vulnerable when he's with us. He…he's stronger without us around." Dean explained and when he glanced at me, I knew he was trying to get this 'feelings' thing through to me and I nodded slowly.

"Dad, no." Sam said, putting his hand on his shoulder. "After everything…after all the time we've been looking for you. Please, I've got to be a part of this fight."

John smiled at him a little. "This fight is just starting, and we are all gonna have a part to play. For now, you have to trust me son, okay? You've got to let me go."

Sam didn't want to but he nodded slowly and John headed for the car after telling us all to be careful and I knew that he was going to keep in touch—that I was going to have to get John's number out of Dean's phone. We watched John drive off and then we got into the Impala and drove a different direction and I knew Meg was watching…I knew we hadn't seen the end of her. I told them I was pretty sure she wasn't gone for good even _if_ we'd seen her body on the ground and they thought I was just tired and drained even if by now they trusted my instincts. So I let it go until we got to the motel and Sam went into the bathroom to get ready for bed and Dean suddenly spoke up.

"He says I picked right." Dean told me.

I turned to face him. "What?"

"I think he thinks that I have feelings for you." Dean said and he shrugged it off but he swallowed when I walked up to him and looked directly at him.

"You do." I replied and smiled when he looked me in the eye and gave me a look. "Maybe you should stop punishing yourself—and me in the process—and come out and admit that you're feeling for me what I'm feeling for you."

Dean shook his head. "Lanni…I can't do that. I can't be a reason for getting you killed."

I rolled my eyes and kissed him, pouring myself into him. He responded for a moment but when I tried to deepen the kiss more he pushed me off of him softly and shook his head, looking at me with sad eyes.

"I am not going to be a reason for you getting killed." He repeated.

I nodded slowly. "Tell me you don't have feelings for me, Dean—and say it truthfully. Honestly and truly tell me that there is absolutely nothing between us."

"What is the point in that?" He asked me.

"The point is that you can't say it…you can't say it because there's something between us and you're as scared as I am about it but the difference is _I'm_ willing to face it." I explained to him.

Dean didn't like the implication that he was a coward and kissed me, wrapping his arms around me and then moving one hand from my lower back to my hair as I deepened the kiss this time and he didn't pull away. I held him close to me and then when he pulled back our eyes met and he smiled a little, and I knew that the closeness was at least making me happy and I felt accomplished. Things were different even _without_ his vocal recognition of that but I needed the vocalization and he seemed to know me well enough to give it to me.

"I care about you…I care about you a lot." Dean admitted, the sad look returning because he didn't want his weakness for me or my weakness for him to ruin us.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him tenderly. "Baby, that's the first step."

**Note: More soon, I promise! I love where this is heading! Some of my favorite ideas are coming up so stay tuned…and feedback is always appreciated.**


	12. So Dean is Falling? And 'Hello' Kevin

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter is a little angsty, and me having fun with love triangles that aren't entirely love triangles, but kind of and there's a little smut so there's the warning.**

**Also, JEN IS BACK!**

**Along with someone else…**

**WARNING: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

xxxx

Waking up to Dean actually there in the morning was heavenly—it really was. I stirred that morning and cringed a little, feeling the bruise that was still there from being stabbed. The soft chuckle I heard next made me open my eyes, and since Dean was grinning at me, I couldn't help but smile a little too, but my attitude was still in tact. The fact of the matter was that I had cringed and he was now _laughing_ at me.

"Oh so you find my pain amusing?" I asked him, raising my eyebrows at him.

Dean shrugged as he smiled. "Maybe a little."

"Well you better take it back." I told him, biting my lips as he looked at them. "Are you paying attention to me at all?"

"Something about you being commanding and thinking I'm listening." Dean replied with a shrug, still focused on my mouth with his eyes.

I smirked a little. "Oh and now you're being cheeky, eh?"

I turned my head to look over to see where Sam was since I didn't hear any gags or laughing and when he wasn't there I looked over to the table in the small motel room and wondered where Sam was. It wasn't that I didn't want to focus all of my attention on Dean it was just that as nice as it was to finally have his undivided attention, Sam could walk in _any_ minute. He could walk right in and then all of our little fun would be interrupted anyway so why even start it?

"When did Sam step out?" I asked him when I looked back at him, smiling a little and rolling my eyes when he looked at my lips again. "What is so fascinating about my mouth, Dean? Is it the lip biting?"

Dean smirked when I bit my lip again. "It could be the lip biting."

"If you're going to kiss me you have to keep it—" I tried, but Dean's lips collided with mine when I tried to speak to him.

I kissed him back and slid my fingers into his hair, loving the feel on his warm lips on mine—loving that his lips were a little chapped. Then I felt his right hand on my knee, and I shook my head a little as he started to trace his fingertips along my skin, up my thigh. When he bit my bottom lip softly though and sucked on it I felt like I had to keep the kissing going but his hand was on the move so I stopped it with mine.

"Okay, lovely as this is…no." I told him softly, my eyes darting to the door and then back to him. "What if Sam walks in while we're starting something? I am _not_ going to be caught in a compromising position."

Dean sighed a little and then nodded. "That's your phone."

"I know it is." I told him with a smile, reaching over to the nightstand and picking it up. "Hey, Jenny!"

"Lan! I'm glad I caught you! Okay, um…you're not going to believe this but uh…Kevin is back."

I sat up a little, startled and Dean's whole demeanor changed. "Kevin? Jenny…Kevin's dead…isn't he?"

"Apparently he's just been held hostage. I kinda need you here." Jen replied in a pleading voice as I nodded.

"Of course, Jenny! I'll be right there as soon as I can!" I informed her. "I love you, hon—keep me posted on his condition."

She told me that she would and after she told me she loved me too we hung up the phone and then I got up from the bed and hurried to my duffle. Dean was giving me one of those looks as I opened my phone back up to call Sam, and then when I had told Sam that we had to go to Lawrence again, he gave me another look and I hung up with Sam and then looked Dean in the eye. I took a deep breath and decided that since we were in a "kind-of/sort-of" relationship, he deserved to know all the news first.

"Kevin was Jen's boyfriend for a long time—they were desperately in love and we all thought they were gonna get married and then procreate and have freaking adorable babies. Then Kevin was kidnapped and we were all pretty certain he was dead—or you know…._worse_ than that—and so Jen had to move on and it was hard for her. Apparently…apparently he is alive." I told Dean with a small shrug. "He's been kidnapped for a long while and Jen's looking into it but she needs me."

Dean nodded and got out of the bed too, standing next to me. "Of course she does. When Sam gets back we'll all head out."

"What?" I asked him with a smile when he chuckled at me.

"Nothing just…are those man boxers?" Dean asked me, looking at my black tank and my black Batman boxers with the yellow symbols on them.

I rolled my eyes. "Way to be sexist. Who says they have to be 'man' boxers?"

"Well there's a hole for a piece of equipment you don't possess." Dean replied.

"Well forgive me—they don't make super hero 'chick' boxers." I told him with a laugh. "Batman is the greatest."

Dean laughed and then reached out to stroke my hair and I leaned up as he leaned down to kiss me for the second time that morning. If Dean could just admit he wanted to have a relationship with me, then everything would be easier for me to feel secure about. I knew I had to give him some time with that, but that meant that I was the vulnerable one here—I was the one with the feelings actually on the line.

"I need to get dressed…" I told Dean, pulling away a little and looking him in the eye.

He nodded slowly. "Yeah…we both do…"

"Yeah, in a minute." I said, and then I kissed him again.

Dean chuckled a little and kissed me back, his hands starting to roam a little before Sam walked into the motel room and Dean and I pulled apart at the sound of the door opening. I sent Sam an embarrassed smile and then grabbed my clothes out of my duffle, heading to the bathroom and getting dressed. Then I came out brushing my hair and let Dean go in to change, smiling at Sam when he handed me a cup of coffee—he really did know me fairly well.

Sam motioned his head towards the bathroom door. "So…you two finally together?"

"We're uh…we're at the stage where Dean admitted he cared about me." I told Sam, sipping my coffee and then sighing a little. "Right now it's really about Jen, so when Dean is dressed, we need to head to Lawrence. Kevin is back in the picture and I'll explain _all_ about him when we get into the car."

Sam smiled a little. "I'd definitely like to be in a loop."

I reached out and grasped his hand. "Sammy, you're always in _my_ loop."

Sam nodded at that and then we headed out into the car and I had to explain about Kevin—Kevin the man that would always have Jen's heart and now he was back. In fact in High School, Kevin and Jen didn't even actually date, even though they loved each other very much…they were just too worried about hurting their friendship to try and be together. At least until Jen got hurt on a hunt and Kevin refused to leave her side at the hospital, and decided to go ahead and take a shot—and it worked. I had never seen two people more in love in my life, and when Kevin was kidnapped and we thought he was dead, I had never seen Jen so broken…I had never seen her take so hard to hunting until her parents got involved.

"Wow…you guys really have some back story." Dean said from the driver's seat.

I nodded slowly. "You have no idea."

"Yeah just to be clear, if something like Chelsea out of the woodwork happens again, I am going to be thoroughly pissed so…anything you want to share?" Dean asked me.

I knew he wasn't exactly threatening me, but at the same time his voice sounded kind of ominous and I realized that if I didn't at least come clean about _some_ of my past, then when I laid it all on them in the future Dean would leave. I wanted Dean and Sam to stick around so I decided then and there that I should at least tell them about their father…that way they at least trusted me to be honest with them. I knew I didn't really deserve that knowing that there was so much I still couldn't share with them…still so much I wasn't ready to face about my past.

"Remember when I told you that my adopted parents come to me sometimes to try and get me to find their killer?" I asked them slowly.

Sam and Dean nodded, Sam turning to me. "Yeah…"

"Well…I had a dream where they told me that a man would be able to lead me to their killer—well _showed_ me the man. I couldn't find him because I didn't have his name or anything but his image has been ingrained into my mind almost and…and he's kind of…he's kind of your father." I said.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…Dad?" Dean asked me as Sam looked surprised at me.

I nodded at them. "Yeah…that's why I was so stunned when we met…and I think he knows me. He was looking at me weird too."

"Come to think of it, it _did_ kind of look like you guys had met before." Sam said as he thought about it.

Dean shrugged. "I just figured he was assessing whether or not she was good enough to be hunting with us honestly."

"How does _our_ father fit in with _your_ adopted parents?" Sam asked me.

"Trust me if I knew, I'd tell you but I don't know—I just know that he does." I replied.

Sam and Dean nodded, and after a few stops for food and a few naps in the car, we made it to Kansas and when I unlocked my house and stepped inside, I was filled with a mixture of sadness, pain, relief and happiness. I hadn't thought you could miss one place so much, but I certainly did and I was kind of glad to be back with Sam and Dean. My house was the first place where Dean and I had slept together, and the first place where we'd really researched for a hunt together…it was a fond place to be.

xxxx

Jen had told me to go ahead and sleep and so I made up the guest room for Sam and then Dean insisted that he sleep in my room. It wasn't that I was entirely protesting it was just that I wanted to be his girlfriend and we still had yet to have that talk. But I mean if you were confronted with sleeping in Dean Winchester's arms would you turn it down? Of course you wouldn't—in fact any of the Winchesters would be a nice choice.

I woke up in Dean's arms, our legs entwined, and I swallowed a little when I felt his fingers run along my stomach under my tank and I bit my lip. I mean I really didn't mind being propositioned for some morning sex but I think we all know how my brain gets and I wanted badly to do something but I feel like I _need_ something else at the same time. So when Dean kissed my lips and then bit my bottom lip, I mumbled out words I hadn't meant to mumble but I was kind of glad that they came out.

"Am I your girlfriend?" I asked him.

Dean pulled back a little and I looked him in the eye and then I cocked my head a little to one side as Dean stroked my chin and he smiled at me. Then his smile turned into a smirk when I bit my lip and I wanted badly to just kiss him again and then forget that I mumbled anything but when I sat up to kiss him again Dean shook his head and pulled back a little. It was almost like he was playing with me, and I kind of wanted to smack him in the arm and tell him to cut it out but when I opened up my mouth to say something he spoke first.

"Is that what you want to be?" Dean asked me.

I swallowed. "Well I know you have this thing about not getting attached but…I mean if we are going to keep sleeping together and I'm going to keep falling for you, it would be nice to know where this is going…"

"All right…then you are." Dean told me with a nonchalant shrug. "You made me decide to be somewhat attached and since I definitely like you…I don't mind if you call yourself my girlfriend."

"Yeah but calling myself that and _being_ that are two different things." I told him, propping myself up on my elbows.

Dean nodded and leaned in, his face inches from mine. "Lanni? You're my girlfriend."

"Right answer." I said, and then I kissed him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

Dean chuckled a little into the kiss and then I felt his hand on the move and I gasped a little when I felt his fingers traveling under the waistband of my boxers—well _his_ boxers. I'd gone ahead and grabbed a pair of his fresh ones to wear the night before and when I had gasped, he'd taken the opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth and then my cell phone rang. Dean shook his head at me, making me gasp one more time as I felt a finger push in, and I shook my head too…only at him.

I reached over and picked up my phone, trying to roll my eyes at Dean when he chuckled, 'kinky' at me, but they were lulling in pleasure as my breathing got heavier. I tried to push his hand away but he pinned it to the mattress with his free hand, and then started to rake his teeth along my neck as I flipped my cell phone open. Jen was on the other line and I knew it was terribly tacky to answer the phone during sex but Jen and Kevin were the reason I had come back to Lawrence and though Dean added another finger making me swallow down a moan, I was determined to have a short conversation and then push Dean off and go to Jen's.

"Ready for us?" I mentioned to get out, closing my eyes and biting my lip hard as Dean hooked his fingers inside of me.

Dean smirked and I could have killed him.

"Yeah. Kevin hasn't woken up yet this morning, but he's sleeping pretty peacefully. I want you to hear his story from him and uh…oh my God…are you and Dean _occupied_ at the moment?" Jen asked me when I whimpered involuntarily as Dean dipped and stroked.

"What? No!" I puffed out, feeling like I couldn't hold my release off for long but definitely trying to.

Jen groaned at me. "You are sick…come over when you're done and you've showered."

There was a slight hint of amusement in her voice so I just puffed out a 'will do' and then hung up the phone and gave in, letting out a soft cry when my release hit me and then I took a couple deep breaths as Dean removed his fingers. He chuckled and then kissed me, brushing my bangs off of my slightly wet forehead and running his nose along mine.

"I should throttle you." I whispered to him, kissing him softly. "Jen needs us and you have me pinned."

Dean chuckled again and shrugged. "As long as the throttling involves a spanking."

"Who's kinky now?" I asked him with a cocked eyebrow and then ran my hand down his torso and look down a little. "Do you need help with _your_ little…problem?"

"I wouldn't call it a 'problem' exactly." Dean said and then grinned as I ran my fingers under the waistband of the boxers _he_ was wearing but before anything happened, Sam knocked on my bedroom door and Dean sighed loudly. "What is it?"

Sam sighed from the other side. "Don't we have a reason for being here?"

"You're going to have to help yourself." I told Dean, wiggling out from under him and then heading towards my dresser and shooting towards the door a, "I'll be right out, Sammy."

Dean sighed and then turned over and I blushed as he started to rub himself. "Thanks for at least a better morning than yesterday."

"I'm gonna…change in the other bathroom." I said suddenly and headed out of the door with a larger blush on my cheeks.

It wasn't that I was a prude—I wasn't—but the sex stuff was still totally new to me and to have Dean start to touch himself while I was in the room was awkward. All I knew was I needed to get dressed and go and see Jen, and in the process, I needed to figure out where Kevin and been and what had happened to him. God only knew what the poor guy had gone through, and I wanted to be there for Jen as well as for Kevin—I just needed answers.

"So I'm ready to head on out." I told Sam with a smile when I was dressed and had headed downstairs for some coffee and some cereal.

"Where is Dean?" Sam asked me and then he added on, "Do I even want to know?"

I blushed a little. "He's uh…taking care of something at the moment. Coffee!"

"And by something you mean…yeah…I didn't want to know." Sam replied, and poured me some coffee while I pulled some Crispix out of the cabinet.

I poured myself a bowl and turned to Sam. "So…how are you?"

"If you're trying to ask me how I feel about you and Dean, I really am fine, Lan. I'm a big boy and I know how you two look at each other and it's nothing compared to how you and I have _ever_ looked at each other." Sam replied with a shrug. "You both have my blessing."

"I meant how are you doing since you saw your Dad? I could cut the tension in the room with a knife…but thank you…for the blessing too." I told him with a smile.

Sam nodded and we both smiled at each other, making that eye contact that I had realized I had grown so completely dependent on. I knew in that moment that I could trust Sam with absolutely anything and he would be right there by my side—I knew that Sam was going to be one of my best friends forever. It was one of the greatest feelings I had ever had, and it was nice to know that he knew he could trust me too, because he opened his mouth to answer my question.

"I'm actually doing a little better than I had expected." Sam admitted to me. "I mean I kind of thought I was going to be somewhat of a wreck to have found him and had to push him away, but I…I felt like he appreciated me again—if only for a moment or two."

I nodded slowly and rested my hand on his shoulder. "It was really hard for you when you went off to college, wasn't it?"

"Yeah it was…Dean and Dad both abandoned me. Dad's been upset with me for a long, long time, but I didn't want this life. I'm starting to realize that it's my destiny, but I just…I wanted to be normal, but I'm just a freak." Sam said with a shrug and I sigh.

"Sammy you are _not_ a freak—you're a hero as far as _I_ am concerned." I replied, sipping my coffee and eating my cereal.

Sam smiled at me and thanked me and then we ate some breakfast and talked with a Dean a little when he finally made his way down. Then we made sure we were ready and headed over to Jen's, her letting me in and smiling at the boys for coming too. It took me a moment, but I realized that I was _really_ excited to see Kevin again, and oddly enough he was excited to see me.

See it wasn't that Kevin and I weren't friends—it was just that I had _always_ been _very_ protective of Jen and so sometimes he was very weary of me. But the second he saw me he got up from the couch in her living room and he made his way over to me, hugging me tightly to him and I had to return the hug. Jen and I had just been so worried when he was missing and so upset when he was gone, and I liked knowing that he was alive.

"Am I glad to see you!" Kevin exclaimed.

"I'm so glad that you're alive!" I told him, stroking his hair a little and then pulling away and looking over the brunette man in front of me. "I take it Jen did all the usual tests on you?"

Kevin nodded. "And of course the not so usual ones. Are these the Winchesters?"

"I see Jen's been informative, I'm glad." I told him with a smile as I nodded and pointed to each Winchester respectively. "This is Sam, and this is Dean—he also happens to be my boyfriend."

Kevin chuckled a little. "Jen left that part out."

"It's a recent development." Dean replied, shaking Kevin's hand after Sam did. "So tell us…where have you been all this time?"

"How many details do you have and/or want?" Kevin asked them, motioning over to the couch.

Sam shrugged. "We only know the basics and we'd like to know everything."

Kevin nodded and the five us of sat in Jen's living room, me reaching out and grasping her hand as Kevin began to explain everything. It seemed like the boys showing up for Chelsea's Wake was _definitely_ not a coincidence now that we were learning all of these things. Kevin hadn't said that specifically, but Kevin had been kidnapped by a very powerful woman who was a werewolf. Luckily for Kevin the torture wasn't as excruciating as we had all thought, but it was still torture and he was still going to have to live with it. He didn't know the woman's name, but he made certain that I understood that the woman had known my adopted parents.

"Do you think that she had something to do with their death?" I asked Kevin cautiously.

Kevin shrugged a little. "I honestly don't know. All I know is that she mentioned you and I'm certain getting away wasn't a trap but…she's not going to stop trying to get me back."

"Well if she _is_ the one that murdered your parents, Lan…then you need to talk to Dad." Sam told me.

"This is all starting to hit me as strange." Dean said softly as Jen looked at me funny.

She squeezed my hand. "What does he mean, Lan?"

"John Winchester? Their father? He's the man from my dreams with Marcus and Bethany." I admitted and swallowed a little. "I don't think any of this is a coincidence."

"Well I don't believe in fate." Dean told me.

I just nodded as Jen looked between the two of us and Sam cleared his throat in the awkward silence to follow. If there was something that Kevin and Jen knew about me, it was that I _did_ believe in fate and that I had a _lot_ of faith. I honestly didn't mind that Dean didn't believe in either of those, but eventually it would get the two of us into trouble but this was the now. All that I knew right then and there was that I had to talk to John and so I stood up and turned to Dean.

"I need to borrow your cell phone so that I can call your father." I told him.

Dean nodded and got it out of his pocket, handing it to me. "I'm going to talk to Kevin more but tell me how it goes."

"Will do." I replied and went into the kitchen by myself, dialing the number and being sent to the voicemail like I had expected. "Um…hi, John. This is Lana Meckenzie—we met a little bit ago but I'm pretty sure that you know me. Look, I, uh…I'm calling because creepily enough I have dreamt about you and I need your help. Call me back…bye…"

I hung up the phone and took a deep breath, turning around in the kitchen to see Dean coming in the door and I smiled at him a little. He came up to me and I leaned back on the counter, my elbows on it, Dean placing his hands on it on either side of me and then leaning in a little. Why I was so attracted to a man who liked to tease me a little by breathing on my face and just hovering there I had no idea, but it honestly turned me on a _lot_ and I couldn't help it.

"Your Dad isn't answering—is that a habit with him?" I asked Dean, handing his phone back to him.

Dean nodded slowly and sighed. "Sadly, yeah. He's been kind of elusive for a long while now and I don't know when we'll see him again."

"Don't worry—your father can take care of himself." I told Dean, stroking his cheek with my hand.

"Lanni?" Dean asked me slowly, stroking my hair and taking a step closer to me, our noses practically touching.

"Yeah?" I managed to get out.

Dean smiled a little. "Do you think that you can promise me that you're not just going to take off on me?"

"Of course I can promise you that." I told Dean with a smile, and kissed him softly.

Dean wrapped his arms around me and kissed me soft and slow stroking my hair with one hand and running his fingers up under my shirt with the other. It was Jen's house and I felt a little bad about doing this here, but at the same time I felt like Dean needed a kiss and I knew I sure as Hell did. It was when he went to hoist me up onto the counter that I shook my head and had to pull away and bite my lip, tucking hair behind my ears.

"Jen's house." I said.

Dean nodded slowly. "I know where we are."

"So you know it's not appropriate here then, right?" I asked him with a smile.

"All right, all right. Jen suggested we look up some things on this werewolf." Dean told me as he took a step back.

I nodded slowly and then got off of the counter, reaching up and slipping my fingers into his hair, pulling him back in for another kiss. I hadn't thought about doing that at first, but I knew I wanted it, and I wanted it _badly_. Dean chuckled a little and pulled me closer, slipping his tongue into my mouth as Jen came into the kitchen, breaking the two of us apart—it would have been _so_ much nicer to have gotten to continue.

"I called John and left a voicemail." I told Jen who looked at us and nodded.

"Yeah, well…Dean? Can I speak to Lan alone, please?" Jen asked him.

Dean nodded and kissed me swiftly, heading out of the kitchen and then I looked at Jen and I knew there were things she wanted to know. I actually wanted to catch up with her as well so I decided the conversation might as well start now—even though we had a werewolf to look for.

"So I take it you and Dean are all over each other now?" Jen asked me. "This morning's little tête-à-tête wasn't enough for you?"

I blushed a little. "We were _just_ kissing, Jen. In fact for your information the last man I slept with was Sam. I mean something might have happened this morning had Sam not knocked on the door, but I mean…I kinda want to…"

"Does Dean _know_ you slept with his brother?" Jen asked me as she got some orange juice out of the fridge. "And on top of that how are you feeling about it all? How does _Sam_ feel about it?"

"Sam's fine—he has given us his blessing and no…no I kind of haven't told Dean yet that Sam and I slept together. I mean…how much does it _truly_ matter?" I asked her and then I nodded and bit my lip.

It meant quite a lot but I didn't really know how to tell Dean that I had slept with Sam while Sam and I were dating. I mean he couldn't get mad at me for it—even though he probably would anyway—because he had all sorts of sex experience under his belt and practically no relationship experience. In fact it seemed to me that 'love' wasn't really word that Dean said…it was something that he could feel, but he didn't actually voice it so that was something I was a little curious about in this long run.

"He'd rather hear it from you than finding out on his own." Jen told me as she sipped her orange juice.

I nodded and took a deep breath. "I can't…I don't know how to just bring it up. Just go up to him and go, 'I slept with Sam while we were dating, thought you should know'?"

"Well maybe not _exactly_ like that, but you should tell him." Jen said again. "You know you have to do it so stop trying to talk your way out of it."

"I'm not trying to talk my way out of it I just don't see why I have to tell him anything about it. I mean I don't ask about _his_ sex life." I protested as I crossed my arms over my chest. "Sam and I dated, we had sex and then we broke up and now I'm with Dean and Sam and I are just friends, I promise. Besides, I don't ask Dean what he does with strange waitresses or nurses or what his past sex life has been like so why offer up the information about myself?"

Jen nodded. "All right, all right, point taken. Just…be careful, all right?"

"Always." I told her, and we both laughed when she rolled her eyes and headed out into the living room where Kevin stood up.

He looked like he had some news and Sam seemed like he was busy in research mode on his laptop and Dean…Dean looked rather upset but it was one of those things he wiped off of his face. I sighed just a little and then asked Sam if his research had come to fruition but he and Kevin had pretty much nothing to offer me so Jen said we could stay for a little while and maybe go have some lunch but Dean was fidgety so I told them we'd see them for dinner. Once Sam, Dean and I got back to the house I offered some places for us all to go and unwind but Dean had other things to say.

"So when were you two planning on telling me?" Dean asked as Sam and I started to look over a list of things we could possibly do to pass the time.

Sam looked up at him. "Telling you what?"

"I heard what you were talking about in the kitchen." Dean said his eyes on me.

"What are you talking about, Dean?" Sam asked his brother.

I took a deep breath. "Sam…can you let Dean and I talk alone for a moment please?"

"No, I think that Sam can stay in the room for this one." Dean told me and Sam still looked pretty confused.

"I don't know why you're being such a hypocrite about all of this." I said as I crossed my arms over my chest. "You have no reason to be mad about it."

"He's my _brother_!" Dean protested and Sam looked like he got it.

I rubbed my temples and resisted the urges to yell at him as Sam started to step in when I wished he wouldn't. Dean had no reason to be angry about any of this, but at the same time it would probably have been better if Sam didn't try and argue with Dean when Dean wasn't angry about the sex—he was angry about who the sex was _with_. It was kind of easy to tell that Dean was upset because the one thing he held over his brother he no longer held over him—call it vain or not but the look on his face said it all.

"Dean I'm allowed to have sex with my girlfriend." Sam told Dean as calm as he could. "You were in the hospital, both of us were kind of upset and it happened. Then soon after we broke up and it doesn't matter anymore. Why are you bringing it up? You have sex all the time."

"That is not the point and you know it, Sam." Dean said, looking at him and then looking back to me. "I mean were you ever going to tell me?"

I took a breath. "Honestly? I wasn't thinking about it, no. I don't go around asking you who _you_ had sex with or wanting to snoop around in _your _sexual history background. You wanna talk to me about your exes? About those random nurses and waitresses you've been with?"

"I…I…I'm going out for a little while." Dean sighed and then grabbed his jacket and headed out of the house.

I watched him go and took a deep breath, turning to Sam and running my fingers through my hair, smiling at him a little. It wasn't that I was even ashamed of what Sam and I had done—Sam and I had dealt with that already and Dean had no right to pry. Then again, I understood that he was upset because Sam was his brother…Sam was also my best friend and I knew that he and I had a connection that would threaten any _normal_ boyfriend.

"He's falling for you." Sam told me as if he was reading my mind.

I looked at him funny. "What?"

"He's not mad about the sex…he's mad that you and I have a connection." Sam explained to me.

"He's _not_ falling for me but it is kind of weird that it was _this_ that set him off like that." I admitted with a sigh and then ran my fingers through my hair. "Do you think this ruined things?"

Sam reached out his arms and I fell into them, letting him hug me as I listened to his steady, comforting heartbeat. He stroked my hair while I pressed myself against him a little more and I took a deep breath and then pulled back my head to look up at him. I had once been attracted to Sam and it wasn't that I wasn't now…it was just that I was listening to my feelings now and I was going after what I knew I really wanted.

"He'll be back." Sam assured me, kissing my forehead.

I nodded slowly. "I certainly hope so."

"Don't worry…the man wouldn't just abandon the woman he's falling in love with." Sam told me, trying to reassure me.

"Yeah except he took off on Cassie." I reminded Sam with a sad sigh.

Sam nodded slowly. "Well Cassie didn't believe him or believe _in_ him and he knows that _you_ do so don't underestimate him, Lan—believe in him."

**Note: This was going to be a longer chapter, but I wanted to save some of the angst and the making up and some of the comedy for the next chapter. The next chapter will be pretty long though—longer than this one and some things will happen I think you guys will all be excited about—I know **_**I'M**_** excited about it. Remember: Feedback is **_**always**_** Appreciated.**


	13. You Learn Something New Every Day

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay this chapter is like BEYOND fun.**

**I added in more of the nerd stuff than I did the first time around.**

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I do!**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

xxxx

It turned out that Dean was pretty much out until around 2 in the morning—so Sam and I had gone to have dinner with Kevin and Jen ourselves and the waiter thought we were all on a double date. Sam and I didn't even bother to protest about it, we just gave the waiter awkward smiles and tried to keep conversation going with Jen and Kevin. He'd been gone for a while, but Jen was willing to try again with him and I couldn't blame her…I knew how in love with him she still was and now he was back and she wasn't about to let him go.

"So you decided to come back?" I asked Dean, sitting up in my bed reading a magazine when he finally made it into my room.

In all actuality I hadn't expected him to come back to sleep in _my_ room, but part of me had hoped he would and this is where he had shown up. I wanted him to apologize even though I knew the words 'I'm sorry' would never actually come out of his mouth over this right now, but at least a little hint that he was would be enough for me. So, I was ignoring him with my body language, even though I was definitely talking to him.

"I think you know me well enough to know that I'm not just going to up and abandon you—I mean I made _you_ promise that you wouldn't do that to me." Dean explained, unbuttoning his button-up and setting to taking off his t-shirt as I watched him out of the corner of my eye.

I took a breath. "So basically if it was _me_ who got pissy _I_ could just storm out and come back whenever I felt like it as long as I didn't _abandon_ you? No calls? No nothing? Awesome. Didn't know that was what I'd agreed to, but thanks for letting me know."

"It's quite obvious that you don't see this from my point of view." Dean said as he pulled off his jeans.

"Yeah, and you don't see it from mine!" I replied, raising my voice a little as I turned to look at him.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"So what if I slept with Sam? Yeah, I get that it means that you have both been my boyfriend, and you have both slept with me, but come on, Dean—I have to live up to _every single_ girl you have _ever_ been with!" I exclaimed and angrily slammed the magazine down on the nightstand by the bed with the lamp on it and Dean nodded slowly and ran his hand down his face.

"In all my thinking about it, I hadn't thought about it like that…" Dean admitted, sitting on the side of the bed and looking at me.

I nodded slowly and then ran my fingers through my hair, taking a deep breath and running my hands down my face before I turned to him and looked him in the eye. His eyes were so beautifully hazel—just the right mixture of the green and the brown—and I wanted so badly to kiss him right that second but I was angry. This was no time for angry sex…this was the time for discussion and Dean and I needed to have it out if it was the last thing we did.

"I'm still not sorry I didn't tell you." I told Dean softly. "I mean I'm sorry that it's hurting you but I did what most 'normal' girlfriends do with their boyfriends."

Dean chuckled at my air quotes around the word, 'normal'. "I know that and I know it's childish for me to be angry about that, but he's my baby brother, Lanni. I may have gotten to touch you like that first but…how am I supposed to compare to him?"

"Why do you feel like you have to compare to Sammy?" I asked Dean rather confused.

"Why do you feel like you have to compare with all the other girls?" Dean retorted.

I shot him a look. "Because I do!"

"I make my point!" Dean replied.

I let out an exasperated groan and Dean nodded at me and I realized that this was one of those things we were just gonna have to accept and let go. Dean wasn't the only one to touch me and I was definitely _not_ the only one to touch him in a sexual manner so since Dean had more to be nervous about I was going to have to give in. I didn't have to travel with any of his old conquests—just interact with his potential new ones—but Dean, Sam and I were a team and Sam and I did have a rather intense connection with each other.

"I give in." I said, making a motion with my hands and then lying back on the bed. "I give in, you win—your point has been made."

Dean nodded. "Good, so…is there where we get to the make-up sex?"

"I don't know why I'm attracted to you." I teased, sitting up and pulling my tank off with a smile on my face. "Are you just going to sit there?"

Dean smiled at me and soon we were kissing, him on top for a little while, but as the clothes started to come off and Dean started trying to talk 'dirty', I had made my way on top and he was making me nervous. I pushed on his chest a little and shook my head when he cocked his head to one side all hot-like to wonder what it was that I was doing and soon I had the sheet pulled around me as I sat up on him a little and bit my lip. I knew he liked it when I did and that I really shouldn't have, but that's what I did when I was nervous and when I was thinking and when I was confused so he had to deal.

"Remember when you did that and I let you the first time this happened and we were kind of both drunk?" I asked Dean and he nodded, cocking an eyebrow at me. "Well I'm not that girl and you're making me nervous. I don't do the 'dirty' talk or the strange positions or obscure sexual favors—I wouldn't even begin to know how."

Dean nodded a small smile on his face. "I'm sorry, Lanni—I'll lay off the talking part."

"It's not the talking I have a problem with…it's just some of the things you're starting to say." I told him, a redder blush rising up in my cheeks. "I'm considering myself still new at this judging by what _you _have done in the past, and I don't know how to react."

"Baby, I'm sorry." Dean said again sitting up a little with me still with my legs wrapped around him.

I closed my eyes and opened my mouth a little because sheet covering my chest or not, our skin still shifted against each others and it felt fantastic. Then I bit my lip again and opened my eyes as Dean stroked my hair and leaned in to kiss me again, me realizing he just called me 'baby' affectionately. So I let him kiss me and then push the sheet away from in between us, and I laid back down with him, enjoying every action we took and lying next to him when it was over, trying to catch my breath and resting the palm of my hand on my forehead.

"I am so sorry that was the worst sex you ever had." I told him as I squeezed my eyes closed.

"That was definitely _not_ the worst sex I have ever had—stop beating yourself up over it." Dean said and I could tell he was sincere but I felt terrible.

I opened my eyes again. "I talked practically the whole way through it."

"Lanni, was it bad for you?" Dean asked me, ignoring what I had just said.

I shook my head. "Of course it wasn't bad for me."

"Then stop comparing yourself to the other girls." Dean said with a sigh.

"I don't know why you're even dating me." I replied and we both fell into silence.

I knew that I was being a little annoying but I honestly couldn't stop thinking about what it meant to be Dean Winchester's girlfriend. I mean I was going to be expected to do all sort of things for and _to_ him, and I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to be able to do it. Dean Winchester was a sexual beast and he knew that, and he enjoyed sex more than most men did, and how the Hell was _I_, Lana Meckenzie, supposed to keep him entertained with that when I knew nothing about it? There was nothing stopping him from getting his rocks off somewhere else because as far as I was concerned the only things that changed was who was on top even though I knew that there was more to it than that but the thoughts made me blush.

Dean propped himself up on his hand and looked at me from his perch on his side. "Why don't you talk to me about what has you all flustered, all right?"

I turned my head to look at him. "You're amazing and you know things that could make my head spin but…you could be having better sex with a stripper or a prostitute or even God forbid a dominatrix. There are things you're going to end up wanting that I don't think I can do for you, which makes me a little insecure about how long I'm going to get to keep you. I mean I can't even imagine how women can, you know…with their mouths…"

"So you'd never even consider it?" Dean asked me, and I couldn't tell if he was disappointed or curious or both—I was too flustered to understand the tone in his voice.

I just shook my head. "Not only do you use it for sex, but you use it to pee with."

Dean chuckled a little when I blushed a deep shade of crimson and I told him that it wasn't funny and he nodded but the laugh kept going. I rolled my eyes and started to scoot away from him a little so I could turn onto my side as well and put my back to him, but his arm shot out to stop my movement, and he pulled me closer to him. This wasn't the kind of conversation I had wanted to have with him, and I knew it was just making everything more awkward for us but I couldn't make the words stop.

"I think that is one of the funniest things I have ever heard." Dean said, laughing harder and shaking his head again as I blushed more and started to move away again. "Lanni, you need to stop worrying about everything, all right? You're perfect, I'm perfect and together this sex thing is just going to work itself out, all right? I'm not going to leave you, and I would _never_ push you into anything you didn't want to do, okay? I love you too much to push you away."

I paused a moment at the word. "You what me too much?"

"I care about you too much." Dean replied automatically and I noticed the hint in his eyes that he realized his slip-up.

The only thing left on my mind then and for the next few weeks was what kind of slip-up it had been because since then he hadn't said the word 'love' again and I hadn't pushed him on it. All I wanted to do was this next hunt and try and get the things Dean and I had talked about out of my mind but I just kept dwelling on it. Currently though I was hoping that this hunt in Richardson about deaths that started two months ago would be enough to occupy me for a little while.

"I should call Jen." I said aloud as we traveled down Interstate 35, me on my laptop, Sam sleeping in the passenger seat and Dean driving.

"Mmm-hmm." Dean replied, glancing at Sam.

I looked up and raised an eyebrow as I watched him glance at Sam again like he was checking to make sure that Sam was really asleep and then I sighed when I saw him pull out a white plastic spoon and put it in Sam's mouth.

"Dean, what are you doing? You're supposed to be driving, Moron—keep your eyes on the road." I told him with a shake of my head.

Dean faked a hurt look. "Ouch. That was cold, Lanni: calling your boyfriend a moron. Shame on you."

"Dean, don't you dare!" I told him as he snapped a picture of Sam with the spoon in his mouth with his phone. "The temptation just too much?"

Dean nodded and then turned the music up and started singing so that Sam would wake up—which he did…with a jump. He quickly knocked the spoon out of his mouth and looked rather upset, shooting Dean a look.

"I told him to keep driving." I said with a look shot Dean's way too.

"Oh I know you wouldn't encourage it." Sam told me and then looked at his brother. "Man, we're not kids anymore, Dean. We're not gonna start that crap up again."

Dean tried to look all innocent. "Start what up?"

"That prank stuff—its stupid and always escalates." Sam replied.

"Oh, what's the matter Sam? You're afraid you're gonna get a little Nair in your shampoo again, huh?" Dean teased him.

I gasped loudly. "You would do that to your own brother?"

"He would." Sam replied and then nodded at Dean. "Alright, just remember you started it."

"Oh, oh, bring it on Baldy." Dean chastised as I rolled my eyes.

It was kind of cute to be honest that Dean and Sam were getting along after the little hitch a few weeks ago, but at the same time I wanted their wits about them for a hunt. I needed to be able to focus on something I could hunt down and kill, and having them distract me with somewhat funny pranks wasn't going to help me. You can probably believe how excited I was when they seemed to remember why we were even on the road now.

"Where are we anyway?" Sam asked Dean as he looked out the windshield to the highway.

Dean shrugged a little. "Few hours outside of Richardson…why are we going there again?"

"Because two months ago a couple of teenaged kids got spooked by an abandoned haunted house that has a legend behind it." I replied because I needed focus. "According to the legend a spirit takes girls and strings them up and the kids saw a girl hung in the cellar but when the cops arrived the body was gone so they just think the kids made it all up."

"They might be right about that." Dean said with a shrug.

Sam shrugged too but shook his head. "I've read some of the accounts and I think they're pretty sincere."

"And where did you read these accounts?" Dean asked him.

"Well, I knew we were going to be passing through Texas so, um, last night I surfed some local paranormal websites and I found one…" Sam told him, trailing off.

Dean glanced at him. "And what's it called?"

"Hellhoundslair dot com." I replied and brought it up on my laptop in the back seat of the car.

"Let me guess: streaming live out of Mom's basement?" Dean asked us.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, probably."

"Most of those websites wouldn't know a ghost if it bit them in the pursqueeter." Dean reminded us slowly.

"Look, we let Dad take off—which was a mistake by the way—and now we don't know where the hell he is so meantime, we've got to find ourselves something to hunt. There's no harm checking this out." Sam told him.

Dean agreed and so the three of us headed into Richardson and talked to the group of kids, who all had different accounts of what had happened but one name rang out with all them about where they'd heard the story: from a guy named Craig. Craig owned a record store and Dean pretended that we were reporters for the "Dallas Morning News" and Sam added that we were doing an article on local haunting and rumor had it that Craig knew his stuff.

"You mean the 'Hell House'?" Craig asked us.

"That's the one." Dean answered.

Craig nodded. "I didn't think there was anything to the story."

"Why don't _you_ tell us the story?" Sam asked him.

Craig looked a little pleased. "Well, supposedly back in the 30's, this farmer, Mordechai Murdock, he still lives in the house with his 6 daughters. It was during the Depression, his crops were failing: he never had enough money to feed his own children. So I guess that's when he went off at the deep end."

"Sounds like this is gonna turn into a tragic story." I said and smiled at him when he smiled at me.

"Well, he figured it was best if his girls died quick rather than starve to death, so he attacked them. They screamed, begged for him to stop, but he just strung them up, one after the other, and when it was all finished, he turned around and hung himself. Now they say that his spirit is trapped in the house forever…stringing up any other girl that goes inside." Craig explained with a little shrug.

I nodded slowly because I believed him, but at the same time I was pretty certain that there was something else going on that he wasn't letting us in on. It was the way he was _telling_ the story that made me a little suspicious, and almost ready to side with the cops about it all.

"Where did you hear all this?" Dean asked him.

Craig shrugged at him. "My cousin, Dana, told me. I don't know where she heard it from. Realize, I didn't believe this for a second…"

"But now you do." Sam finished for him.

"I don't know what the hell to think, man. Guys, I'll tell you exactly what I told the police, okay? That girl was real. And she was dead. This is not a prank. I swear to God, I don't want to go anywhere near that house ever again, okay?" Craig asked us.

I nodded and the three of us smiled. "Thank you."

He nodded and gave me a smile, and as we left I smirked a little at Dean rolling his eyes at me. I hadn't actually been flirting with the guy—it was just friendly smiles and I had left it at that. Besides, this was starting to look like if we couldn't find any EMF, then it was definitely just some huge prank.

"I can't get any readings off of the house with that transformer in the way." Dean said with a loud sigh.

I nodded and then shuddered a little. "Then we have to go inside the house."

Sam nodded and though I was rather hesitant—I mean come on I was a girl and if this was real I _could_ be the one getting strung up in there—I followed them inside. We looked around and saw the symbols that the kids had talked about, and I was starting to get a strange vibe off of the place…I was pretty sure this was a hunt. What _kind_ of hunt, I wasn't very sure about…

"It looks like old man Murdock was a bit of a tagger during his time." Dean told Sam and I as Sam and I looked over the symbols.

"And after his time too." Sam added, pointing out one of the symbols to me. "The reverse cross has been used by Satanists for centuries but this sigil of sulfur didn't show up in San Francisco until the 60's."

"That's exactly why you never get laid." Dean said, pointing to him and then going to another symbol.

I laughed a little as Sam took a picture of the symbol he'd found. "Sam gets laid—be nice to him."

"What about this one? Seen this one before?" Dean asked Sam and I about a cross looking symbol that kind of looked like it had a reverse hook on the lower branch in order to ignore my last statement and focus on the hunt.

"No." Sam answered before taking a picture of it too.

I looked at it and shrugged. "Well…it looks a _little_ familiar…"

"I've seen it…somewhere." Dean replied.

Sam went up to another symbol and ran his fingers on it, and we both realized it was fresh paint which brought us back to thinking the kids lied to the cops. Then we heard a noise in the other room and Sam and Dean broke the door down and we got practically blinded by flashlights. There were two men with the flashlights that looked like they thought they were professional paranormal investigators from TV, and gave us their business cards.

"Ed Zeddmore and Harry Spangler." Sam read on the card as I smiled at the attractive nerds who nodded in respect to their names. "Hellhoundslair dot com. You guys run that website?"

"Yeah." Ed answered with a smile on his face.

Dean decided to play to the ego. "Yeah, yeah, we're huge fans."

"And we know who you guys are too." Ed told us.

"Oh yeah?" Sam asked him.

"Amateurs." Ed answered. "Looking for ghosts and cheap thrills.

I put my hand in front of my mouth to stop from laughing out loud, my eyes raking over the men in front of us who thought they knew what they were doing. They kind of looked like Ghostbusters, honestly, and though attractive, they obviously had _no_ idea what was going on here, and prolly never would—unless they stuck around. Honestly, I didn't want them to get hurt, so Sam, Dean and I had to stay.

"So if you guys don't mind, we're trying to conduct a serious scientific investigation here." Harry told the three of us.

Dean nodded skeptically. "Yeah, what have you got so far?"

"Harry why don't you tell him about EMF." Ed said proudly with a grin on his face.

"EMF?" I asked with a small laugh, biting my lip to stop from laughing out loud at the ridiculous situation we were all in right then and there.

"'Electro Magnetic Field'." Harry explained and then added, "Spectral entities can cause energy fluctuations that can be read with an EMF detector."

Then Harry switched on his EMF which made a lot of noise like Dean's did outside, and Sam and Dean feigned to be impressed as the giggles started to bubble out of me. I wasn't trying to be rude, I was just highly amused by what I was witnessing and I was making it look like I had no idea what I was doing.

"So, have you guys ever really seen a ghost before?" Dean asked them.

"Once." Ed answered. "We were, um, we were investigating this old house and we saw a vase falling off the table."

Harry nodded with a serious expression on his face. "By itself."

"We, we, we didn't actually see it, but we heard it and something like that, it…it changes you." Ed added.

"Well we should go and let you guys get back to work." Dean told them, and with a wave and wink from me, I headed out with Sam and Dean to research the symbols.

xxxx

While the boys went to the library to go and check out some things, I hung back at the motel and got on IM, smiling at Jen online. I wanted to talk to her so it was best that I call her, and I did, smiling when she picked up rather happy.

"If it isn't Lan." Jen said and I knew she was smiling. "What are you doing? You're online so I assume that you're at a motel."

I nodded and took a breath. "You assume correctly! Actually there's a little more to talk to you about than just how I am, how the boys are, and how hunting is going."

"What?" Jen asked me. "How does that make any sense when all there _is_, is how you are, how the boys are and how hunting is…"

"What about 'how is your relationship with Dean going'?" I asked her with a laugh.

I could tell she was rolling her eyes. "Lan, that falls under the 'how are you' category."

"Yes, well…remember when I told you the embarrassing sex story?" I asked her with a sigh and nodded when she said she did. "We haven't had sex since then."

"I'm not surprised—Dean Winchester is gonna want you to be a little more open to trying new things and you know it." Jen said through her laughter. "What are you guys hunting right now?"

I smiled a little and told Jen about what we had been up to and even took a couple pictures of our drawings of the symbols and of the ones Sam and I took pictures of already and sent her the pictures so she could help. Mostly she had been 'hanging out' with Kevin and by that I mean 'having sex with' but whatever _someone_ should be getting lucky these days. And that was when I stopped dead in my tracks—why the Hell did I even _care_ about sex? That wasn't who I was! Oh God…who the Hell was I anymore?

"Are you listening to me, Lan?" Jen asked me.

I sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I just realized I'm not who I used to be."

"Well you're learning more about your companions and your past, so you have to change somehow." Jen explained. "I should go, but keep me informed. I love you."

"I love you too, Jenny. We'll talk soon. Bye." I told her, and we hung up and I smiled when the boys showed up just then, walking through the door. "So what did you find out?"

Sam sighed loudly as he sat down next to me. "Well there was actually a Murdock who lived in that house back in the 30's and he _did_ have children only 2 boys and he never killed anyone."

"Also the missing peoples records don't show anyone that matches the description of the girl who supposedly died two months ago. I think the Hellhounds guys made it up, honestly." Dean said with a shrug. "I say we find ourselves a bar and some beers and leave the legend to the locals."

"Awesome. I guess I'll go ahead and uh—" I began and then Dean cut me off.

"—Sam's about to go out and scavenge up some dinner." Dean told him, giving him a look.

Sam laughed and told us there might be some more research potential here, and headed out as I went from the table to one of the beds and laid down on it. I bit my fingernail as Dean ran through some information on the laptop one more time and then I sighed a little and he looked up at me. I had _thought_ that he had gotten Sam to leave because maybe he wanted something but apparently not.

"Is someone looking for a service or something?" Dean asked with a smirk.

"Or something." I replied and sat up a little, resting on my elbows and looking at him. "Have I ruined _everything_ we had the potential to be?"

Dean sighed a little and came over to me, standing at the end of the bed as I sat up completely and scooted to the end of the bed, hanging my feet over the edge. He reached out and stroked my hair, which was a good sign, and then he leaned down a little and shook his head. I smiled and nodded and then I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, holding up my hand to silence Dean when he started to ask me what was up.

"Why don't you teach me something—like one thing at a time?" I asked him slowly, shrugging a little.

He put his fingers under my chin and made me look up into his eyes. "This is all up to _you_, Lanni. We're not doing _anything_ that—"

"—Dean _I_ offered." I told him with a laugh, and then I pulled off my shirt and smiled at him. "So how about you stop trying to pretend you're chivalrous and you teach me something that you like all right? I know there's a lot more to you than just sex, but it would make me feel a little better knowing I can keep you."

"But Lanni you _can_ keep me, that's just it. I don't want you to do this because—will you stop taking your clothes off, please?" Dean asked, and though he sounded annoyed with me, he swallowed when I shimmied the jeans off and kicked off my socks.

I reached out for his belt. "Look I _want_ this, all right? Just…think of something simple and show me, all right?"

"All right." Dean resolved, helping me to get him out of his jeans as well, kicking off his socks and shoes. "We're going to need to start this little encounter over though."

I laid back on the bed and got comfortable, Dean climbing on top of me in just his boxers and kissing me. It started off soft and sweet, but soon I could feel the heated passion and his hands started to roam and I shook my head. He made a face and then raised his eyebrows as I ran my right hand down his torso and stopped at the waistband of his pants.

"This time should be all about you." I whispered, our eyes meeting. "I want you to show me what you like but try to keep it—"

"—Lanni—"

"—please?" I asked him.

He nodded and guided my hands slowly into his pants, our eyes locked the whole time and then I bit my bottom lip when I felt him in my hand and felt him wrap his hand around mine, around himself. He showed me the pressure and the movements and I swallowed but felt oddly powerful when he whimpered a little and closed his eyes, letting me take over. Then he kissed me and bit my bottom lip, mumbling to me to stop for a second and then I slipped my hand out and looked him in the eye to see the change in his demeanor—the lust in his eyes.

"You know the clasp in the front means business." Dean joked, his eyes resting on my bra.

I blushed and shrugged a little. "Well I thought I'd made it clear that I _did_ mean business."

"My turn." Dean whispered, and kissed me again before he got me out of my underwear and got his boxers off, both of us reaching each breaking point we needed, and I was hoping that for now, Dean was fairly satisfied.

Afterwards I laid on my back and smiled at him as he laid on his stomach, his torso on mine as he looked me in the eye, and I wished to God I hadn't said some of the things that I had. For some reason playfulness had taken over now that I wasn't feeling as shy about touching him in his more naughty places, and I had hoped I hadn't completely embarrassed myself.

"So how was that?" I asked him, biting my fingernail with a slight smile on my face.

He smirked and stroked my hair. "That was definitely good for me, Lanni."

"Well I'm glad." I said, grinning a bit. "I _told_ you that I learn fast."

"Let it be known that I should never, ever doubt you." Dean replied with a chuckle and he leaned down to kiss me, grunting when I pushed on him a little and gave him a look. "What is it with you trying to be all commanding and in control?"

I smiled and cocked my head to the side a little. "This is your brother's room too and for the record you like knowing I'm not that easy so let's get up, shower, and then go to sleep nice and warm and cozy."

"For some reason I wish we were at your place so we wouldn't have to worry about Sam walking in." Dean said with a big grin and then he nodded. "Let's shower."

I smiled at him and nodded, kissing him one more time before we got up and took a shower together—which took a little while to get Dean focused but eventually we got clean—and then we got dressed and snuggled together in the bed. It felt like I belonged right there in Dean's arms as he spooned me, stroking my hair softly as I smiled and rested my hand back on his thigh, glad to have him move closer to me and press his chest to my back. Then just when I didn't think it could get any better, Dean pressed a kiss right behind my ear and smiled against my skin, his breath on me.

"I'm glad you're here." Dean whispered to me and stopped stroking my hair to wrap his arm around me and pull me close to him.

"I'm glad I'm here too." I assured him as I snuggled my body deeper into his and removed my hand from his thigh.

I ran my hand down his arm and rested my hand on his, our fingers interlacing which sent my body into butterflies when he squeezed my hand and kissed the back of my head before making himself comfortable against me. We fell asleep peacefully and I felt safe and home wrapped up in his arms, and then we woke up to Sam telling us there was an accident in the house and a girl died. We need to check it out and I sat up in the bed a little and looked at Dean, blushing and tucking hair behind my ear.

"I apologize now if I made your arm fall asleep during the night." I told him, referring to the arm he had under me at one point as Sam got up to use the bathroom first, now off of his phone.

Dean smiled and caught my chin with his thumb and forefinger, running his thumb along my chin. "Don't apologize for that."

"Have I ever told you that I like you when you're sweet?" I asked him, biting my lip a little.

"The lip biting has got to stop." Dean told me, pointing a finger in my direction. "Get dressed."

I grinned at him. "Wow you're sexy when you take charge—don't get used to it though."

He rolled his eyes at me and the two of us got dressed, Sam coming out of the bathroom completely ready and then we went to talk to the cops. We asked them what had happened and apparently a girl committed suicide in the house the night before. The thing that was stumping the cops was that she had a boyfriend, friends, a good life—it wasn't the M.O. of a person who would kill themselves.

"What do you think?" Sam asked us.

Dean sighed. "Maybe we missed something."

"That means when there's less police swarming around here tonight, we need to check this out." I explained texting Jen to keep her in the loop at the same time. "In the mean time I say food is our best plan ever and I kind of have a headache so I could go for some caffeine."

"Ever think that maybe the _caffeine_ is your problem?" Sam asked me.

I smiled at him and shook my head, us making eye contact. "It most certainly isn't."

Sam rolled his eyes and he and I palled around the rest of the day while Dean tried to figure out the symbol he had found and then the three of us set out for the house that night only it was swarming with policeman trying to make sure no teenagers went in there and got hurt. Then we saw Ed and Harry and so Dean shouted something and the cops headed for them, giving us our 'in' to hurry into the house and figure things out.

"No time to stall." Dean whispered to me when I halted before going in.

I nodded. "A bad time to get cold feet, I know, but…what if the ghost is real and I'm next?"

"I'll protect you—I promise." Dean told me, and I knew he meant it—he wasn't _just _trying to get me inside before we got caught even though I knew that was certainly part of it.

"Fine." I said and stepped into the house with them. "Give me the gun and don't let me out of your sight."

Dean nodded and smiled at me, and we walked around the house and then went down the stairs and saw some things on shelves. It was gross, and the dust was starting to work on my allergies, and then I noted the playfulness of Dean returning. This was like Heaven to him—especially with his and Sam's prank war going on still.

"I dare you to take a swig of this stuff." Dean said to Sam, smiling.

"Why would I do that?" Sam asked as he looked at things and I stayed near Dean.

"I double dare you." Dean told him and I smacked him in the arm. "Hey! Do you remember what happened _last_ time you smacked me?"

I laughed a little. "Yeah you held my hands behind my—"

I screamed though when I heard a scuttling noise and then clapped my hand over my mouth and sent Sam and Dean 'I'm sorry' looks.

"Sorry." I said in a hushed voice.

Dean smiled. "Since when do you scream?"

"Since I want to live and I'm _this_ close to dying." I told him with a forced smile and then I shrugged and pointing around. "And there are rats."

"I hate rats." Dean agreed.

Just when Dean and I were agreeing that was a sign something bad was going to happen, the ghost showed up and started for me—the girl. I didn't want to be strung up and the moment we realized the rock salt wasn't affecting it, I screamed again and headed out of the house as fast as possible, running right into Ed.

"Sweet Lord…of the Rings!" Harry exclaimed as I smiled at Ed a little who seemed a little protective even though he was scared.

Then Dean grabbed my arm and told Harry and Ed to keep their equipment—especially their video camera—out of his face and we were out of the house safe and sound, Ed and Harry getting nabbed by the cops. I felt a little bad for them, but at the same time they didn't have _any_ idea what they were doing and I didn't want them to get hurt. Then there was Dean getting annoyed with me when I happened to shrug and mention that maybe Ed was a little attractive…

"On the bright side we know it's a hunt." I tried, changing the subject. "Is Sam the only one talking to me?"

Dean gave me a look and then looked back at the symbol and sighed loudly. "What the hell is this symbol? It's bugging the hell out of me. This whole damn job is bugging me. I thought the legend said that Mordechai only goes after chicks."

"It does." Sam answered. "That's why it went after Lana first."

"Yeah but then it came after you and me. I mean, that explains why he went after you, but why me?" Dean asked.

Sam rolled his eyes as I bit my lip. "Hilarious. The legend also says he hung himself but did you see those slit wrists?"

"Actually yeah, I noticed those." I told him. "You know when I wasn't screaming and running."

"What's up with that? An axe, too? I mean, ghosts are usually pretty strict, right? Following the same patterns over and over…" Sam mused.

Dean nodded slowly. "And his mood keeps changing."

"Exactly. I'm telling you, the way the story goes…" Sam began and then trailed off so I got up from his motel bed and went to look over his shoulder at the Hellhoundslair site. "Someone added a new post at the Hellhounds site. Listen to this: 'They say Mordechai Murdock was really a Satanist who chopped up his victims with an axe before slitting his own wrists. Now he's imprisoned in the house for eternity'. Where the hell is this going?"

"I don't know but I think I might have just figured out where it all started." Dean said and he smiled as he looked at his notebook.

Then he got us to head back down to talk to Craig and I suddenly understood—the symbol was a logo for Blue Öyster Cult. So it was obvious that Craig had answer for us he hadn't been willing to share before and now we needed them. Things were getting too weird and though I could tell that my feelings were a little off, I knew that something was up, and something big was going to happen today.

"Tell me Craig, you're into B.O.C. or just scaring the hell out of people?" Dean asked him, giving him the album on the symbol was on. "Now, why don't you tell us about that house? _Without_ lying through your ass this time."

I smiled at how commanding Dean could get sometimes and Craig explained that he and his cousin Dana came up with the story. He and Dana nailed some chicken legs and painted symbols found in theology text books and from albums, just to make the place look haunted—to them it sounded like fun. Then Dana pretended to be the dead girl from two months before and it spread to Harry and Ed who put the story on their website and that was how it started—it was all supposed to be a big joke.

"If it wasn't real, how do you explain Mordechai?" Dean asked Sam and I as we headed out of the record store.

I shrugged a little. "More research."

"Agreed." Sam said, and we headed back to the motel where we researched a little more and then Sam got into the shower.

I laid on Dean's and my bed and flipped through a book I'd brought along in my duffle, and then I sat up when I noticed Dean moving out of the corner of my eye. I made a face when I realized he was shaking something all over Sam's clothes, and then Sam opened the bathroom door and Dean whirled around.

"What if Mordechai is a Tulpa?" Sam asked us.

Dean scratched his head, glad to see Sam had no idea what was going on. "A Tulpa?"

"Yeah, it's a Tibetan thought form." Sam explained.

"Yeah, I know what a Tulpa is." Dean told him. "Hey uh, you get dressed and we'll talk about it over some food."

Sam nodded and as Dean started to leave he realized I wasn't with him and sighed heavily before he came over to me and held his hand out. I rolled my eyes and got off of the bed, taking Dean's hand and realizing I _was_ kind of assessing Sam's abs. It was Sam's damn fault his peck moved when he walked all hot like but that didn't mean I preferred him over Dean! I didn't!

"Come." Dean told me.

"I'm coming. I'm coming." I said, following him out the door. "And for the record I am not a dog."

Dean nodded. "Yes, but you _are _easily distracted."

I nodded, and then I stopped him in the hallway. "Why are you upset with me for the flirting?"

"I'm not upset with you. You can flirt if you want to." Dean said, trying to shrug it off.

"Dean it bothers you—you forget that I know you." I replied.

Dean sighed again and then he kissed me. He honestly thought that if he just kissed me for a little while I would let it go, but at the same time we both knew he was only _hoping _that was the case because he knew me too. We both knew that the second the kissing stopped, I was going to continue our conversation whether he wanted to continue it or not, and I certainly did.

"I kind of adore everything about you, so the flirting is merely flirting. You do it all the time and I don't want it to be okay for _you _to do it, but not for me." I told him, wrapping my arms around his neck as he slipped his arms around my waist.

"You are a stubborn piece of work, has anybody ever told you that?" Dean asked me with a chuckle.

I smiled and nodded. "Yes they have, now kiss me again damn-it before Sam comes."

Dean kissed me again and pressed me up against the wall in the hallway before Sam came and cleared his throat, Dean placing one soft kiss to my lips before taking my hand. Then we went to grab a bite to eat and Sam kept wriggling a little and I felt so bad seeing him in such discomfort but every time I went to open my mouth to tell him, Dean stuck a fry in it.

"Who says I'm hungry?" I asked him.

Dean smiled a cheeky smile at me and then looked at Sam. "Hey Sam, what's your problem?"

"Nothing, I'm fine." Sam replied as I went to smack Dean's leg and he grabbed my hand, ready for me, our fingers interlacing as he held my hand in his lap.

"Yeah, so keep going: what about these Tulpas?" Dean asked him.

Sam nodded. "Okay. So there was this incident in Tibet in 1950. A group of monks visualized a Golem in their heads. They meditate on it so hard they bring the thing to life, out of thin air."

"So?" Dean asked him.

"Oh my God! Imagine what 10,000 web surfers could do!" I exclaimed.

Sam nodded. "Craig starts a story about Mordechai then it spreads, goes online, and now there are countless people all believing in the bastard."

"Ok wait a second. You're trying to tell me just because people believe in Mordechai, he's real?" Den asked Sam as Sam typed away on his laptop.

"I don't know, maybe." Sam answered and shifted uncomfortably again.

Dean made a face. "People believe in Santa Claus, how come I'm not getting hooked up every Christmas?"

"Cause you're a bad person." Sam replied and I nodded vigorously as Dean nodded too. "And 'cause of this…"

Sam turned the laptop to show Dean the symbol that Craig and Dana had painted on the wall and it all made sense. For centuries it had been used it concentrate meditated thoughts, so people who visited the Hellhounds website are on it, staring at the symbol, thinking of Mordechai, and it's enough to bring him to life. That would explain why he was immune to rock salt, why he changed what he did each time, and why even though it started out as a joke, a girl was now dead.

"Why don't we just take the symbol off of the wall?" Den asked with a shrug.

Sam and I shook our heads. "It's not that simple."

"Once these spirits are created, they take on a life of their own. So question is: how to get rid of Mordechai? We can't do it without these Hellhounds guys." Sam explained.

"It means we need to talk to Ed and Harry and the sooner the better." I agreed, standing up to go and frowning when Sam started to move more visibly.

Dean said he had an idea and started to go as Sam said, "Man, I think I'm allergic to our soap or something."

"Your brother did it." I said as Dean laughed and Sam looked at him.

"You're a friggin' jerk!" Sam told Dean as Dean laughed harder and headed out with a coffee in hand.

Dean nodded and kept on laughing. "Oh, yeah!"

I rolled my eyes and then Sam went to go change while Dean got what he needed for his plan and we headed to the trailer where Ed and Harry were staying. I told Sam and Dean to let me try and handle it first, and then when Dean said something along the lines of 'you go flirt with Dungeons and Dragons', I rolled my eyes and listened intently. I could hear the two through the door thanks to my abilities and I found them both adorable.

"This story could be our ticket to fame, money and sex, Harry." Ed explained to him. "Be brave, he adds, okay? WWBD. What Would Buffy Do, huh?"

"What Would Buffy Do?" Harry repeated in a slightly low voice. "I know Ed, but she's stronger than me."

"It's okay." Ed replied and I knocked on the door.

It sounded like they were a little startled and I couldn't blame them, but I smiled pleasantly when they opened up and saw me there. Ed smiled a little and I wanted to totally up and turn on the charm but Dean was expecting that and stepped in and ruined it.

"Look at that, action figures in their original packaging." Dean joked. "What a shock!"

"Guys, we need to talk." Sam cut in.

Ed nodded slowly. "Yeah, um, sorry guys, we're…we're a little busy right now."

"Okay, we'll make it quick." Dean retorted. "We need you to shut down your website."

Ed and Harry started to protest and I got in between the four of them and plastered the 'Lana' smile on my face and decided to appeal to their ego—years playing KOTOR kind of gave me the upper hand there.

"Look they're just upset that you two are so popular." I explained, stepping on Dean's shoe when he started to snort laughter out of his nose. "I mean you guys have a website and everything. We're here because we know something really amazing about Mordechai and I thought you guys being the experts and all, you could, you know…use it."

"And why would you tell _us_ that?" Ed asked me.

I beamed and started to squeal like a fan girl. "I'm such a huge fan of your site! I wanted you guys in on it and these two are just being ridiculous."

"Lana it's a secret!" Dean protested.

"Besides they have to shut it down! More people are just going to keep going into that house and getting themselves killed!" Sam added on.

Harry looked concerned and nodded. "Hey, maybe he's got a point."

"No, no. Okay, we have an obligation to our fans, to the truth." Ed explained with an affirmative nod.

"Well, I have an obligation to kick both of your asses right now." Dean retorted.

Sam put his hand on Dean's shoulder. "Dean, Dean, hey. Just forget it, alright? These guys, you could probably bitch-slap them both like I could probably tell them that thing about Mordechai. But they're still not gonna help us. So let's go."

"Yeah, you're right." Dean answered.

I bit my lip and looked at Ed and Harry with the best puppy eyes I could muster and they told the boys to hold on. Sam and Dean started to feign arguing about whether to tell them or not and I bat my eyelashes at Dean who sighed loudly.

"I'm telling you two…" Dean said.

Sam nodded. "But if they agree to shut the website down, Dean?"

"They're not gonna do it, you said so yourself." Dean protested, shaking his head.

"They believe in protecting the innocent—it's what Buffy would do." I explained.

At those words Ed spoke up saying that he and Harry would shut the site down and there we had it—the plan had worked. We knew they weren't going to, but if we gave them the fake information, then they would put it up and the people on the website would believe it, and then we'd kill Mordechai.

"It's a secret Sam." Dean told his brother.

"Look, it is a pretty big deal, alright? And it wasn't easy to dig up." Sam added, turning to Ed and Harry. "So only if we have your word that you'll shut everything down."

Ed was excited and nodded. "Totally."

"Fabulous. This is a death certificate from the 30's—we got it at the library. Now, according to the coroner, the actual cause of death was a self-inflicted gun shot wound." I explained handing over the paper Dean had doctored up.

"So, he didn't hang or cut himself." Dean explained.

Harry looked at it and then us. "He shot himself?"

"Yup, with a .45 pistol. To this day, they say he's terrified of them." Dean explained with a smile and a nod.

"As a matter of fact, they say if you shoot him with a .45 loaded with these special wrought-iron rounds, you can kill this son of a bitch." Sam added.

I beamed and then touched Ed's and Harry's hands with mine and the three of us made eye contact before whispering, "Remember what Buffy would do with the truth."

Ed and Harry both looked incredibly excited and hurried into their trailer, me turning to Sam and Dean and all three of us high-fiving. Then we went to get some dinner and Dean started to irritate not only Sam but me by pulling the string on a laughing automaton. I rolled my eyes and took a swig of beer, while Sam checked the website for updates and gave Dean a very annoyed look.

"Why do I like this stuff?" I asked, holding up the bottle after taking a sip.

"I don't know." Dean said, pulling the string of a laughing wall ornament.

Sam glared at him. "You pull that string again, and I'm going to kill you."

Dean laughed and pulled the string again, making Sam get angry. "C'mon man, you need more laughter in your life. You know, you're way too tense."

Sam made a face and then showed us that the website had been updated, letting us know we had to wait long enough for enough people to look it up and believe in it. So Sam raised his beer to Dean and I and we clunk glasses and then Dean chugged his a bit while Sam started laughing and I set mine down—it just didn't taste right. Dean realized the bottle was stuck to his hand and I rolled my eyes: Super Glu.

"You didn't?" Dean told him.

Sam laughed his adorable laugh. "I did."

He showed Dean the tube of glue and then he laughed before pulling the string of the automaton. It laughed with him and I ate some food and took some Advil to make my headache go away, the three of us heading to the house, guns in hand to get rid of Mordechai once and for all.

"Do you think that Mordechai is at home?" Dean asked us as we headed for the cellar door.

Sam shrugged as I did. "I don't know."

"Me neither." Dean said and then we heard a noise and turned around to see Ed and Harry there trying to make a video.

We heard some noises coming from the cellar and then the spirit appeared suddenly, still holding an axe like last time and our guns were useless. I was the first one out of the house and found out as they all came running out that Ed's and Harry's server had crashed and so the fake story couldn't take. So Dean decided to just up and torch the house and I wasn't so sure about it, but it seemed like it would be the only way to do it and save anyone who tried to come to the house in the future. It was the only option at that point, so we burned the house with Mordechai in it and watched the house as it went up in flames, Mordechai trapped in the house.

"What if the legend changes? What if there's a new version in which Mordechai is allowed to get out of the house?" Sam asked.

Dean nodded slowly. "We'll just have to come back."

"It kinda makes you wonder, of all the things we've hunted, how many existed just because people believed in them?" Sam asked out loud.

We thought on that and packed to leave, meeting up with Ed and Harry before that, and so we stopped to talk to them. They seemed pretty smug and happy and so I wanted to make sure they were leaving with egos intact and I wanted to get to the Impala.

"We got a phone call from a producer who saw our website." Harry said.

Ed nodded to us. "He wants to discuss picture rights. Who knows, maybe he'll even want us to write the script."

"Sounds awesome." I told them. "Maybe there will be an RPG for X-Box or something."

Ed and Harry seemed hopeful and headed off in their car before Sam spoke up.

"I have a confession to make." Sam admitted.

Dean looked at him as we neared the Impala. "What's that?"

"I was the one who called them and told them I was a producer." Sam explained and we all laughed.

"Well, I'm the one who put the dead fish in their back seat." Dean said with a smile.

"Truce?" Sam asked him.

Dean looked at him and nodded. "Yeah, truce. At least for the next hundred miles."

"Thank God." I told them.

They got into the car, and then they got straight back up and made faces as I laughed and pointed at them.

"Sam!" Dean cried.

"I sat in it too!" Sam told him.

"You are cleaning that off of the seats." Dean said looking at me as I doubled over with laughter.

"So you can dish it out, but you can't take it?" I asked him. "You'll notice there are wet towels in a bucket in the back that will wipe it right up and not hurt a thing."

Dean gave me a look. "I have honey on my ass."

"I thought you found our pranks childish." Sam told me, a smile on his face.

I shrugged as I smiled. "I wanted to have _some_ fun."

"Clean it up." Dean said, looking at his ass. "I am _not_ sitting on a towel all the way to a motel."

"Oh, I don't know about that—I kind of feel like getting to a motel really soon and having a little R-rated fun but if you're not interested…" I said with a shrug, smiling when Sam rolled his eyes and sat on a dry towel after wiping up the honey from his seat and Dean's eyes lit up.

Dean smiled. "See Sam, I get laid."

"Don't be vulgar, Dean, or I'll take back the invitation." I told him.

"Just so you two know, I'm getting the room first, and then I'll be out early until lunch so you two will have time then." Sam said. "I'm tired."

"By morning she may not want to anymore, man." Dean protested.

I gave him a look with a small smile. "Dean, I'm right here, and at this rate I won't be in the mood anymore anyway."

Dean sighed. "Fine. Let's not talk about the hot and sweaty love."

"Let's not—especially if you're going to call it that." I told him and heard my cell phone go off in my pocket.

Dean smiled. "You know you love me."

"I might…I might love Sam too. You never know, do you?" I asked him, pulling my phone out and noticing that it was Jen.

"Lanni…" Dean warned—in a loving tone because he wanted me and we both knew it.

"Ha, Ha, the joke's on you." I told him and answered the phone. "Hey, Jenny."

I watched as Dean went to wipe the honey off of the seat and went to the vending machine to have a little more privacy with the phone call. I explained about my headaches and she talked to me about how she and Kevin were doing and then I stopped in my tracks.

"Oh my God." I said.

Jen stopped because I had cut her off mid sentence. "What?"

"I thought the headaches meant my period was coming but I'm like almost three weeks late for my period." I told her and I was met with surprised silence. "Oh my God, Jen…I think I'm pregnant."

**Note: More soon! Hope you enjoyed the 24 page chapter! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	14. This Isn't What I Planned

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay this next chapter is kind of filled with a lot of fun and angst.**

**Hope you enjoy it!**

**I certainly enjoyed writing it!**

**=D**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

xxxx

For a little while I just kind of shrugged off the notion of being pregnant. I totally couldn't be and so I decided to ignore it, but then I looked at the calendar and I new I had to be—there was just no other explanation for it. So I had bought a pregnancy test under the radar of Sam and Dean to make sure but I hadn't used it yet. There hadn't been a good moment where I actually had my own privacy, and so I was waiting until there was a good time and right that second wasn't.

Dean and I had been a little horny as of late and currently we were kissing each other in my room in Lawrence, and I smiled into the kiss as Dean pressed me up against the wall, his hands on my hips and his body against mine. Thankfully none of our awkwardness—okay, _my _awkwardness—had ruined any of the physical things between us, and I slid his jacket off of him, and then sighed when we both felt the vibration. As was Dean's way though, he continued to kiss me while I reached into my pocket and pulled away slightly, answering the phone.

"Hello?" I asked as Dean kissed my neck softly.

"Hey! I was just calling to check up on you. Are you all right? You sound out of breath." Jen told me.

Dean chuckled, able to hear Jen's voice. "Do you remember what happened _last_ time you answered the phone—?"

"Jen, I need to call you back, all right?" I asked, hanging up the phone before she could answer and before Dean could finish what he was saying.

I put the phone on the bedside table and then Dean smiled because he knew that he could definitely keep kissing me now—not that he would have stopped either way. I pulled his face to mine and kissed him, smiling as his hands went down to my pants, and began to unbutton them, but then the phone began to vibrate on the table and we both sighed. We just wanted to get done what we had wanted to get done, and the phone calls were _not_ helping us get there.

"Hello?" I asked, wishing Dean and I could continue, and shooting Dean a look when he started to slip his hand into my pants.

"Hey, this is Sam. Jen told me to call and ask what was up." Sam told me matter-a-factly.

"Look, Sam, Dean and I are kind of busy right now." I told him and gasped just a smidge when I felt Dean's fingers.

"Oh—OH!" Sam said quickly and I knew he was blushing. "Right. Bye."

"Bye." I told him shutting the phone, and Dean smiled and started kissing me all over again.

Soon we were both on the bed, and finally getting all of each other's clothes off, using that pent up lustful energy, content afterwards, lying amongst ruffled sheets. Dean stroked my hair and bit my neck softly in the same spot he'd been paying attention to for the last little bit. Then he pulled away and admired his work and I made a face and got up, the top blanket wrapped around me and went to look in the mirror.

"Dean…you had to, didn't you?" I asked him with a sigh, turning to look at him.

Dean smiled from the bed, lying on his side with his bare chest visible and the covers covering his bottom half except for his feet. Then he nodded and turned onto his back, putting his arms behind his head like he was proud and confident and I rolled my eyes and laughed a little bit.

"What?" He asked all cheeky and adorable.

I walked out of the bathroom, the blanket wrapped around me, my hair all pulled to one side and my head cocked a little bit. I pointed to the mark on my neck and he shrugged all innocent-like which made me roll my eyes and smile a little.

"Hickie. I can't cover this one up easily." I told him, raising my eyebrows at him.

Dean gave me a look too. "You bit my shoulder so…I think I'm entitled to leave my own mark. Besides—it's like a Dean Winchester brand."

"Oh so now you own me, is that it?" I asked him with a laugh.

"Come back to bed…" Dean said softly.

I smiled and heeded the soft order, snuggling up against him and resting my hand on his right peck, kissing the left one that was next to me. It was nice to be so close to him, and yet at the same time I wished I had the bravery to tell him that I thought I was pregnant. I was hoping desperately that he would fall asleep so I could just take the pregnancy test and then know from that, but then I'd have to see a doctor.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Dean asked me, stroking my hair and kissing my head softly.

I smiled a little. "Nothing, I'm great."

"And that's a lie…" Dean told me, placing a soft kiss to my head.

"Well…maybe I just wanna make sure this is going to be sweet and not you know…interrupted." I told him lamely, closing my eyes at how stupid it had sounded.

Dean chuckled a little. "It's adorable that you think I'm sweet."

"You have your moments." I laughed and then looked up at him and we made eye contact. "This is not going to make you happy but uh..."

I trailed off a little and was going to go ahead and try to tell him but I didn't get the chance and had to hold the covers around me as Sam came barging in. He looked embarrassed so he put his hand up over his face as Dean told him to get out but it looked like he had something important to say to us.

"What is it, Sammy?" I asked him, tucking hair behind my ears.

"You two want to help with a case?" Sam asked as he swallowed.

I sat up with covers a little more. "Yes. What is it?"

"A demon." Sam said slowly. "Jen needs help."

I nodded and got up with the covers to grab some clothes. "Okay, we'll be ready soon."

I hadn't really thought about what I was doing but I realized I was changing with Sam in the room when Dean cleared his throat. I blushed and sent him an 'I'm sorry' look but he got really, really annoyed and Sam swallowed again his hand no longer covering his eyes.

"Get out, Sam." Dean told him and Sam hurried out, closing the door behind him.

I swallowed and pulled on some of my clothes. "Sorry. Just…I'm comfortable around the two of you and so it's habit—I don't think about it all the time."

"Well I'm not all right with that." Dean replied and got up to get dressed himself. "I mean is there an ulterior reason behind that one you just gave me?"

"Dean, I—" I tried.

"—no! I _know_ I'm a little _too_ worked up over it, but you're my girlfriend and you're Sam's ex-girlfriend and this is what I was talking about!" Dean told me as he angrily buttoned up his shirt. "Sam has had you too and I can't deal with it when I know there's a chance you may get tired of me and you have him to fall back on!"

My eyes widened at his honesty. "Dean…hey! Look at me…"

Dean grunted and then he looked at me slowly and I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him softly and smiling a little when he returned it, angry or no. He hadn't meant to explode at me like that, and I needed him to know that I wasn't going to get tired of him and fall back on Sam. There was absolutely no way I could do that—I was in far too deep now and I knew it.

Dean ran his fingers over my bra strap, me standing there in my bra and my jeans, Dean fully clothed by now since he got dressed rather quickly when he was angry. Actually, he probably just knew how to get dressed so quick because he was used to banging and dashing—but I didn't want to think about that. I just needed Dean to know how I felt about him even though we hadn't known each other a terribly long amount of time, and I knew deep down it would frighten him just a little bit.

"Dean?" I asked him.

Dean's eyes made contact with mine. "Yeah?"

"I love you." I told him.

He looked rather surprised, and I knew I was kind of surprised myself—I had opened my mouth to tell him that I cared about him and I was his girlfriend and I was going to be by his side no matter what, but I'd just…I'd just said "I love you". Why in the world would I have just said, "I love you" to Dean Winchester? I mean…did I seriously _love_ him? Because I hadn't sat down and thought about _love_.

"What?" Dean asked me.

I shook my head and then I kissed him but for once in his life Dean Winchester didn't want to just kiss—he wanted answers. I didn't want to have this conversation because if I had blurted out that and known in my gut that I felt it, there was no telling what I was going to blurt out next. Couldn't he just kiss me and let me ignore it? I let _him_ ignore it when he'd said it after awkward sex and during an even _more_ awkward sex talk!

"What did you just say?" Dean asked me, having successfully pulled out of the kiss.

I looked him in the eye. "I care about you."

"That's not what you said." Dean told me, a sly smile on his face. "You love me."

"Yes well that's not what you said a few weeks ago! So what now?" I asked him, pulling away from him and putting my shirt on.

Dean swallowed and then he nodded slowly and ran his hand down his face. He wanted to be out of this conversation now too but there was no way I was letting it go. He started to pull his shoes on and when we were both dressed I got in between him and the door and he gave me a look.

"We're talking about this." I told him.

He sighed. "Jen needs help with a demon problem."

"And you love me." I replied and Dean sighed loudly.

"Lanni…please move." Dean said and groaned when I shook my head.

I took a step towards him. "Say it."

"I'm not saying it." Dean told me, looking me in the eye. "I told you I didn't want to get too attached to you because it was going to get you killed so…this thing we're doing is done."

"No it's not." I said, pressing myself flush against the bedroom door and looking at him as he put his hand on the doorknob. "Why the Hell do we have to suffer because demons are out there? I'm more than willing to feel the brunt of your burdens."

Dean shook his head but when I kissed him he didn't pull away and I knew that deep down it was because he wanted this as badly as I did. When I moved a little he nodded into the kiss and gripped my waist, hoisting me up and I pulled away a little. Our eyes met and I ran my nose along his, wrapping my legs around him and squeezing just enough with them to let him know that in that moment _I_ had the power.

"I love you." I told him again. "Don't freak out about it and tell me how you feel."

Dean swallowed and eyes still locked, I bit his bottom lip softly and he sighed. "I love you, Lanni."

"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" I asked him with a smile and kissed him when he started to shake his head. "Please don't pull away now."

"What choice do I have?" Dean asked through the kisses.

I sighed a little and pulled back. "The choice _not_ to."

I kissed him one last time and then I got off of him, fixing my shirt and heading out of my bedroom, heading to the staircase when I remembered the reason I had come back to Lawrence in the first place—to take the pregnancy test and see my family physician. So I told Sam and Dean to head to Jen's without me and I'd meet them there, and though not really on board with that at first, they headed out, and I went into my bathroom and locked the door, looking at the box. It was really now or never and after I peed on the stick, I jumped at the vibration of my phone on the nightstand and went to answer it because Jen really _did_ need help and I was supposed to be being helpful.

"Hey, Jenny." I told her with a smile as I answered the phone.

She laughed a little. "You untangled from your boy toy now?"

"Yes and he and Sammy are headed over to you now." I told her softly.

"So you're, uh, finally taking that pregnancy test? Have you told Dean yet?" Jen asked me seriously.

I sighed loudly. "I don't know how to tell him, Jenny—I'm waiting to see if it's true first even."

"Well I'm gonna let you go to take deep breaths all right?" Jen told me. "You need to have a little space and I need to pick up a couple things before the doorbell rings and I bring them into a not _really_ tidy house."

I laughed a little. "All right. I love you—I'll call you the second I know."

"You do that, and I love you too." Jen replied and we hung up.

I was getting really antsy about all of it because I just wanted to know what the result of the test was so that I could figure out what to do about it. Then I could help Jen with her demon problem and I could go about my business and everything would be fine. I was just really stressed, and maybe I just forgot to write my period down on the calendar—that could be it!

"Will you just give me an answer already?" I asked the stick angrily, and then after taking a few deep breaths and waiting a good five minutes, I looked at the stick and my jaw dropped.

I headed out into my room and then I set the pregnancy test on my dresser and looked at my self in the mirror. The answer I had been waiting for was right there and I was having a hard time wrapping my head around it. Then I let out a small scream and I let all of my frustration and fear out.

"Why do _I_ have to be pregnant?" I asked loudly and then gasped a little when I saw Sam's reflection in the mirror. "Hey, Sammy."

xxxx

Sam and I had sat in silence at the Starbucks for a good twenty minutes or so after he had walked in on my outburst. I was no longer angry, but I still sure as Hell was scared. Part of me was actually a little excited because I was having a baby and I had always thought that someday I _would_ have one, but the other part of me was terrified not only of _being_ pregnant, but of having to tell _Dean Winchester_ that I was having his baby. How the Hell was I going to do that?

Love was bad enough because he didn't want to be in love for fear of hurting me, and now there was going to be a baby. What if he thought I was trying to tie him down or something? I mean there were so many things he could think when I told him and in all reality there were hundreds of ways the talk with him could go and I wasn't sure if _I_ was even ready to talk about it out loud…even though I knew Sam wanted to.

"And you're _sure_ it's positive?" Sam asked me.

I nodded quickly. "Yeah…I just don't know if it's true—I mean there _is_ such a thing as a false positive."

"Do you think that's what it really is?" Sam asked me softly, and I knew he could see right through my trying to make excuses.

"I think…I think I'm pregnant." I told him and sighed and put my head in my hands. "I told Jen that the test was positive and I made an appointment with my family physician, and I just…I think I'm stupid."

Sam reached out and rested his hand on mine. "Lan, you're _not_ stupid."

"Yes I am." I replied, nodding some more and looking up at him. "Even the stupidest kids in the class remember the things they tell you about sex during Sex Ed, Sammy. I mean I don't go around having sex with any random thing with legs like Dean used to do, but I should have been on birth control or something! Things were _so_ much easier when I had planned on not having sex until I was married!"

I put my head in my hands again and heard the noise Sam's chair made as he scooted it closer to me and put his arm around me. All I could do was lean into him, eventually resting my head against his chest and closing my eyes as he ran his hands along my arms. He knew the baby wasn't his and he knew I was freaking out, but he also had that moral compass of his, and I knew exactly what he was going to say before he opened his mouth to say it to me.

"You have to tell Dean." Sam told me softly, kissing the top of my head.

I shook my head. "How am I supposed to do that?"

"Oh I dunno…use your words?" Sam asked me and I rolled my eyes, but smiled a little as he smiled at me when I pulled back to look up at him. "My brother's not the cold-hearted bitch that you think he is, Lan."

"I never said that Dean was a cold-hearted bitch." I replied with a chuckle and then I sighed a little bit. "I just…I'm already putting him under so much stress and this is just one more thing he's going to think is getting to close and putting me in danger."

Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah, but Dean's automatic response to _everything_ is tied to his ridiculous theory about relationships, Lan. He has let you in more than any other girl, _ever_, and I think you owe it to him to let him know that no matter what happens between you two, you guys can talk about it and deal with it."

"Why do you have to be the smart one?" I asked him with a smile and then I nodded slowly. "Just let me grab a White Chocolate Mocha and we can be on our way."

Sam chuckled at me and nodded, letting me get myself some coffee and then he went to go help Jen and Kevin and I went back to my house after letting Jen know what was up. I just didn't want to deal with it when I knew that all I was going to do was obsess over it and freak out, but it was the only thought in my mind. How could I be a mother? I was a hunter, and I had a past that would make it practically impossible to even keep a child safe…so why did part of me even want one?

I started to tear up when I thought about my mother, and about Annie, and it dawned on me suddenly that there was nothing that I could do now that it was done and I had to accept what was happening to me. I knew that I still had to see the doctor the next day, but part of me simply knew that I was expecting and I had to accept it. The thing was…I already wanted the baby—I just didn't know how in the world Dean was going to react to it all and that worried me.

"Lanni?" Dean asked.

I looked up as he opened the bedroom door. "I thought you were at Jen's with Sammy."

"Lanni are you crying?" Dean asked me, coming over to me as I stood up and tried to plaster a brave smile on my face. "What's wrong?"

"What a thing to ask." I said and shook my head, taking a step back from him when he reached out to pull me in to him. "If you hug me I'm going to lose it."

Dean just nodded slowly and reached out to stroke my hair, which honestly didn't make the situation _any_ easier at all and Dean knew it when a couple more tears slid down my cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumbs and looked me in the eye and I just couldn't take it anymore. Suddenly it was like verbal vomit everywhere and I couldn't stop any of the words that were coming out of my mouth.

"I have been freaking out for a couple of weeks trying to ignore what was going on here but I can't ignore it any longer, Dean. I mean we've been going at it like bunnies and neither of us has really taken the time to get our sex life in order. You've been doing everything you could—even though we've had the occasional slip up—and I'm not stupid, but apparently I shouldn't be trusted to do a Goddamn thing! I mean I come into your life, I practically throw myself at you, I date your brother, I decide sex isn't bad, I finally get you as my boyfriend, I fall in love with you and now I'm just about to push you away and I don't want to, but if _I'm_ not handling it well, then how the Hell are _you_ going to handle it?" I asked him and took a breath.

Dean cocked his head to one side. "What in the world?"

"I didn't plan it." I told him slowly. "I didn't plan on meeting you, or sleeping with you, or learning all this sex stuff before I was married—I mean that was my plan! I was going to fall in love, get married, have sex, start a family—then _you_ came along! You came along with your cheeky attitude, and your sexy banter, and that amazing grin and the hair and the teeth and the amazing kissing ability and we _slept together_. I mean I threw every moral I had away for _one_ drunken night with you and all I could think about was how much I wanted to be near you!"

"Lanni—"

"—God, I mean do you know how many times I just sat around and thought about you? Dreamt about you? Fantasized about you? You're _Dean Winchester_! And even though I didn't know your reputation, I knew there was so much more to you and there is! You are a hero! You and Sam! You save people because you want to and not because you have to and I swear that you're everything I've ever wanted!" I exclaimed and the tears started to come. "I have practically forced myself on you and I am _so_ sorry, Dean."

Dean shook his head. "Lanni, you didn't—"

"—of _course_ I did! _You_ wanted to keep yourself distanced from me because having feelings for each other was a weakness and now I've forced myself on you so much that I even _forced_ you to tell me you loved me! Who the Hell am I to make you _do_ that? I'm ruining your life and I—"

Dean was obviously tired of hearing me yell and watching me cry because I was silenced by him kissing me suddenly. The feel of his warm lips on mine was almost too much for me, and I felt a little overwhelmed when his fingers slipped into my hair and he brought my body closer to his, cradling me protectively. The thought that he wanted to be so near me and make me feel better made me start to cry a little and Dean shook his head and he pulled away and looked me in the eye, still holding me close, our faces only inches apart.

"Lanni—"

"—I know that you're not going to up and ditch me when I tell you but I just can't bear to think that I'm forcing things on you." I told him quickly, biting my lip.

Dean laughed a little. "Can you stop interrupting me, please?"

"Dean?" I asked him.

Dean shook his head. "No, I think it's _my_ turn."

"But—"

"—you never forced any of this on me, Lanni. I was attracted to you the minute that I laid eyes on you and even though I wanted to take off with Sam afterwards, I knew that I wanted you to come with us. Then you did, and I realized that I could talk to you about anything—I mean I've told you things that even _Sammy_ doesn't know and that's because I trust you. I trust you, and I respect you…and even though you had to take the moment into your hands I didn't lie about what I said before and I need you to get that, all right?" He asked me.

I nodded slowly. "Dean, I—"

"—the second I gave you your nickname I realized that you were part of this family and you're always going to _be_ a part of this family no matter what happens. I don't know what it is about you, Lanni, but I know on some level that I _can't_ let you go—you mean far too much about me…and you know far too much about me." He joked and then when I opened my mouth he continued. "I have _no_ idea where all of this is coming from, but I know for a fact that there is nothing that you could possibly say to me that would make me pull away. I'm in far too deep now and I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

I opened my mouth to say something again but this time Dean's mouth was covering mine again and I couldn't stop kissing him. He was just so caring and I was touched by his words of truth and kindness but then the thoughts crossed my mind again and I knew that even though this was nice and I was enjoying it, Dean had to know. He had to know why I'd gone off, and I had to come clean because if I really _was _pregnant, it would affect Dean's life too.

I pulled away and closed my eyes for a second before interrupting him again. "Dean, I think I'm pregnant."

**Note: Sorry for its shortness, but there will be a MUCH longer chapter next with some of Lana's, Sam's AND Dean's past in it and it should be up soon. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	15. The Past Always Comes Back

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter has only change a little from the original one.**

**Still, it's different and there are some new things.**

**ENJOY!**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

xxxx

"Okay, so he honestly looked at you and went 'with a baby'?" Jen asked me, laughing a little as we sat at her island counter in her kitchen. "Wow."

I swallowed. "At least he didn't just like…leave me. I mean when I looked at him like he was retarded, he nodded and he hugged me and he kissed the top of my head and I just…I think he's still digesting, so we're not really talking about it."

"But the doctor…she said you were?" Jen asked me, referring to the hospital visit that morning.

"Yeah…she said I'm definitely pregnant and we're thinking the conception date was the awkward sex talk." I told her, laughing a little. "About 6 weeks ago, Dean and I made a baby—a _baby_ Jen."

Jen laughed. "You mean as opposed to what?"

"At least he loved me then." I mused, and then I blushed when Jen's eyes widened.

Dean and I hadn't actually come out and talked about how we felt about each other to anyone else and now I'd blurted it out. So with practically no prodding at all I explained everything to her and she told me she was happy for me, but worried at the same time and I certainly couldn't blame her for that. I knew that there was so much more to Dean than his reputation as a womanizer, but at the same time I understood completely that his fear could potentially push us farther apart.

Right when I was trying to explain to her that I was pretty sure Dean and I could get through this as long as we stuck together, my phone rang so I took it out o my jacket pocket. It was a restricted number so I just let it go to voicemail—if they didn't leave a message than it wasn't important anyway. The thing was though, they _did_ leave a message so I checked my voicemail after it signaled me that I had a message and I was shocked to say the least.

"Lana, I know this is probably surprising that I'm calling you, but I think the two of us should talk about some things. I know you, and I knew your biological mother, and I know Annie. I haven't told Sam or Dean because my sons have far too much on their plates already but I wanted to let you know that I've seen them too. Right now I'm focused on my own case, but I have information for you as well. Call me back at 985-562-4527." John explained.

I stared at the phone and swallowed as I saved the message. "John called."

"Whoa! Really? You should call him back then." Jen told me, suddenly alert. "I mean if he is a way for you to avenge what happened to Marcus and Bethany than you need to do just that."

"I know, I just…I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed. I mean all of this is happening right now, and it's happening really fast." I told her and bit my lip. "I'll call him back later when my stomach doesn't feel so queasy."

Jen smiled sympathetically. "Morning sickness?"

"No…nervousness." I replied.

Jen nodded at me took my hand in hers, and then after a little more catching up and hanging out with Kevin when he got back, I headed back to my house to the boys packing. Sam explained that John had called them and given them the means for a hunt and I smiled and nodded, packing and looking up when Dean came into my room and opened up my underwear drawer to help me pack.

I chuckled a little. "What's with the helping me pack the unmentionables?"

"I dunno about 'unmentionable'—I like these." Dean replied, holding up one of my pairs of Marvel Super Hero boxers. "Let me guess: your favorite is Wolverine?"

"Oh God, no! I'm totally into Wade Wilson…Deadpool." I added when he looked at me like he had no idea what I was talking about.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Isn't he the guy with the scar? The mercenary?"

"Just the one. He's 'The Merc with the Mouth'. He's cheeky, he's horny, he's hot, he plays with swords, he doesn't take crap from anyone, he's—"

"—me?" Dean asked with a chuckle, tossing me the boxers.

I caught them and put them in my duffle and smiled. "Yeah…I guess you could look at it like that. Except of course that _you_ don't play with swords."

"Knives are close enough." Dean said with a shrug and then he came over to me and took a deep breath, resting his hands on my shoulders and turning me to look at him. "How are you, Lanni?"

I smiled a little at his attempt to let me know that he cared and that he wasn't pushing me away even though I knew he was scared. We were _both_ really scared about how we were going to be parents and it was really nice to know Dean wasn't just burying the problem or walking away and so I just smiled a little and shrugged. When he started to stroke my hair with one of his hands I smiled a little more and took a step towards him, resting my hands on his open button-up and looked at his t-shirt.

"I told my Dad." Dean told me in the silence.

I looked up at him and our eyes met. "Yeah? How did he take it? What did he say? Does he hate me?"

"Lanni? That mouth of yours, as adorable as it is, needs to close sometimes." Dean laughed and I smiled a little and nodded. "He told me to be careful, and to make sure that I let you know that I'm not going anywhere."

"Seriously?" I asked him softly.

Dean nodded and I realized that he was confused as to the tone in my voice but I couldn't be anything _but_ confused. If John actually knew things about me and my biological mother than why in the world would he want Dean to stay near me? To _procreate_ with me? Then again the procreating part had come as a surprise to both of us and it wasn't like we could take it back now that it was done…so maybe John just wanted Dean to do the right thing and take responsibility…

"What is it?" Dean asked me.

I just shook my head to wave it off but Dean placed his fingers under my chin and raised my eyes up to his and they practically bored into me. He seemed so serious, and so in need of an actual answer and I didn't have anything for him—I couldn't talk about my mother, or my father or Annie…there was still too much _I_ couldn't face, so why tell Dean about it? It probably wasn't a good decision, but I was sticking to it whether it was or not.

"I think we should go ahead and focus on this hunt your father is sending us on." I told him, kissing him before he could protest. "Besides, sitting around here all comfy and cozy is getting boring."

Dean smiled at my joke. "Oh yeah? Hey…Lanni?"

"No, Dean—I'm _not_ staying behind." I told him, turning back to my duffle and zipping it up. "I'm pregnant, not useless."

"Lanni, the job we do is dangerous." Dean said. "And no, I'm not saying this so I can ditch you and not own up to this."

I sighed as he rested his hand gingerly on my stomach. "I wasn't going to say that."

"Consider it at least?" Dean asked me, leaning towards me and looking me in the eye, sighing as I shook my head. "Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

"I was born that way." I replied with a shrug and headed out to the car with him and Sam.

The three of us piled into the Impala even though Sam brought up that maybe I should stay behind too, and when I got upset about it the two relented and we got out onto the road. At one point I had them pull over so I could buy some things from a gas station, and while Dean filled up the car, I answered my cell phone as it rang.

"Hi." I said slowly, smiling a little bit.

"Hi, Lana." John told me softly. "I hope I've caught you at a good moment."

I smiled and picked out a bag of chips. "I'm doing great, actually. What's up?"

"Look, I didn't want to do this—especially now that I know you're pregnant—but I'm close on the trail of the woman that killed your parents. Her name is Nora, and I think she may be headed to Georgia. I'm going to keep you posted. I just wanted you to know, all right?"

"Thank you for that. Do you mind if I ask you how you know me? How you know my mother and Annie? Why you wanna help me?" I asked him, hoping I wasn't stepping on any toes asking him my questions.

John chuckled a little. "I owe your mother—that's something that I can explain to you when I see you next. For now, just know that I have your best interests at heart."

"I guess I can take that for what it is, so thank you, John." I told him. "I'll talk to you when you have more information about Nora for me."

"Bye for now, Lana." John said.

I nodded and we said our 'goodbyes', me heading back out to the car and getting into the backseat with my food and my Vitamin Water, wishing I had a coffee. I had a rather large smile on my face and Sam was looking over what John had given to them, and it was looking like it would be a good hunt. I knew I had to be careful since I was pregnant, but I really still wanted to help Sam and Dean out as much as I could.

"You know, I love your Dad." I told them.

Sam laughed a little and made a face. "That's good to know."

"So this place is called Fitchburg?" I asked them, changing the subject.

Dean nodded, but so far Sam wasn't convinced that any of the information we had was leading us to an _actual_ hunt. He didn't find anything strange about Fitchburg, be it in local newspapers or in police records, and soon I had to agree with him…except I felt like we had to do this. John didn't seem like the kind of hunter that would send us on a hunt that wasn't a real hunt.

"Are you sure you got the coordinates right?" Sam asked Dean.

"Yeah, I double-checked: it's Fitchburg, Wisconsin. Dad wouldn't send us coordinates if it wasn't important, Sammy." Dean said curtly.

Sam sighed. "Well, I'm telling you. I looked and all I could find is a big steamy pile of nothing. If Dad is sending us hunting for something, I don't know what."

"Because it's hidden." I piped up as we drove.

"Why do you say that?" Sam asked me, looking back at me for a moment.

I opened up my laptop and shrugged. "Because it always is."

"Or maybe he's gonna meet us there." Dean offered hopefully.

"Yeah, 'cause he's been so easy to find up to this point." Sam told him sarcastically.

Dean made a face. "You're a real smart-ass, you know that? Don't worry I'm sure there's something in Fitchburg worth killing."

"Or at least worth finding." I laughed.

I knew by now that it was never a good idea to joke around while the boys were sort of arguing, but I was in a pretty good mood—John was going to help me to avenge the death of my adopted parents. There really wasn't anything that could get me down right then—not even any of my slightly negative, conflicting feelings about what was going on around us. Something was here, I just wasn't sure exactly what that was yet, and I wasn't sure I could fix it…

"Yeah? What makes you so sure?" Sam asked us.

"Because I'm the oldest, which means I'm always right." Dean told him and shrugged. "Besides—if Lanni thinks something is here, we should trust her instincts."

Sam rolled his eyes. "You being older doesn't mean you're always right—Lan's instincts, however, I am willing to put faith in."

"Good thing you guys have a girl on your side, because otherwise we'd be _totally_ lost." I smiled at the two of them as they laughed.

Then we pretty much went silent as I sent out some e-mails and such, and then once we got into Fitchburg, we parked by a school yard and Sam leaned against the car and observed. When Dean came over to join Sam and me, he told us that nobody had heard anything weird and that kind of bothered me as I looked around the playground…it was _far_ too quiet.

"What time is it?" Sam asked.

I checked my watch. "It's 4:10. It's too quiet for the time kids should be getting out of school. Let me tell you, I was a loud one."

"You're loud now." Dean told me, but he smiled and so did I, and then pointed out how quiet it was to a little girls' mother who mentioned that kids were getting sick.

For a second I just chorused with Sam that it was a shame, but then a shiver went up my spine and I felt the blood rush away from my face. This was no coincidence, and I knew that I couldn't be there no matter what. There was pretty much no way on God's green Earth that I could sit around while kids were taken one by one…sit around while my past suddenly caught up to me.

"Lanni?" Dean asked me.

I shook my head slowly and took a few steps back. "I can't do this. I'm sorry."

I hurried back off to the Impala and got in the backseat, packing up some things and shaking my head as I muttered to myself. When I got my things together, I pulled them out of the backseat, Sam and Dean showing up to tell me we had to go to the hospital and they were both worried about me.

"Are you all right?" Dean asked me, and frowned when I took a step back from him. "Lanni, what is going on with you?"

I bit my lip as the tears formed in my eyes. "I can't stay in this town."

"Lan, we need more than that." Sam told me softly. "Can you tell us more than that?"

"Look, can I just go to the motel and research a little more?" I asked them softly. "Please?"

Sam and Dean nodded, and the two of them took me to the motel before they headed to the hospital and I called Jen on her cell phone, desperately needing her assistance with this. She answered after a few rings and I didn't even let her get through her greeting or get in a joke before I was already talking and trying to calm down and breathe.

"I can't be here anymore, Jenny!" I exclaimed, sitting down, taking deep breaths.

"Lan? What the Hell is wrong?" She asked me, trying really hard to get me to calm down. "You sound like you're hyperventilating! Breathe!"

I shook my head as I took a breath. "I got her killed and now it's back, Jen! I think the Shtriga is here and I can't do this! I can't!"

"The Shritga? Really?" Jen asked me calmly. "Lan…I think you need to face this."

"How can I face this, Jenny? I got my little sister _killed_! This is the one that got away from me and I know that part of me wants revenge against it, but I'm not strong enough! I'm not!" I told her, the tears coming out. "I'm the reason my baby sister is gone…"

Jen tried to calm me down for the next ten minutes or so and I took a few deep breaths and then I got a call from Dean who told me that the kids' bodies were all wearing out and that each time one kid got sick, it was the next siblings' turn the next night. It was the Shtriga's pattern, and though they didn't know what we were dealing with, I was pretty damn sure I did. So I told them I'd meet them at the latest victim's house, and when I got in there I was a little jumpy but I tried to assure the boys that I was fine as I looked around the room.

"You know this might not be anything supernatural, it might just be pneumonia." Sam told Dean and me as I slowly made it over to the window.

Dean shrugged at him. "Maybe…or maybe something opened that window. I don't know, man. Look, Dad sent us down here for a reason. I think we might be barking up the right tree."

"Open the window." I said, rubbing my arms because I suddenly felt cold.

Sam did so, and nodded. "Hey Dean, you were right, it's not pneumonia."

Dean went over to the window too, but I backed up in the room a little—I knew _exactly_ what we were dealing with, and it wasn't good. This thing fed on the innocence of children and because of my weakness so many years ago, I was now an only child and I had to live with Annie's death every day.

"It's rotted." Sam said. "What the hell leaves a handprint like that?"

"A Shtriga." I told them slowly. "It's a child killer—or almost. I just—can we leave please? I really can't be in here."

"Is there something—" Sam began.

I shook my head at him as I backed up towards the door of the room. "I'll explain when we're out of here. Please. Let's just go."

I got out of the room and went to the Impala, placing my hands on the hood and taking breaths to stop the tears, but I couldn't. Because I hadn't been strong enough to defeat this monster in the past, there were more little kids being killed off and I was responsible for it. It was my job to clean up this mess but how was I supposed to do that? I didn't have the strength to face this monster…I didn't have it in me.

"I know why Dad sent us here." Dean told Sam. "He's faced this thing before. He wants us to finish the job."

I wiped tears away and shook my head, not letting either of them touch me. "I never wanted to see that Shtriga again. I got away from it once, but that—oh God, this is all my fault."

"This isn't your fault, Lanni." Dean told me firmly, and something in his voice made me think that he was feeling guilty too. "So…you've seen it?"

I nodded. "It's not something you forget—that kind of thing scars you. It's what got me asking my parents about the supernatural—started me off wanting to hunt the bad things so no one else would have to deal with them."

"So, what the hell is a Shtriga?" Sam asked as we got out of the car and went into the motel.

"It's kind of a witch, I think. I don't know much about them." Dean said with a shrug.

Sam nodded slowly. "Well, I've never heard of it, and it's not in Dad's journal."

"But it's _very_ real." I explained and shrugged. "It's _very_ real, and it's _definitely_ here."

"Dad hunted one in Fort Douglas, Wisconsin, about 16 or 17 years ago. You were there,

you don't remember?" Dean asked Sam.

"No." Sam replied, looking at both of us.

Dean nodded slowly. "And I guess he caught wind one of these thing's in Fitchburg now and kicked us the coordinates."

"So wait, this…" Sam began.

"Shtriga." Dean finished.

Sam nodded at him. "You think it's the same one Dad hunted before?"

"Huh, maybe." Dean said.

"But if Dad went after it, why is it still breathing air?" Sam asked again. "I mean no offense, Lan, but my Dad takes out everything."

Dean shrugged at him. "Cause it got away."

"Got away?" Sam asked unbelievingly.

"Yeah Sammy, it happens." Dean said impatiently.

"Not very often." Sam told him.

Dean got a little angry and it was obvious then that this was personal with him—almost just as personal with him as it was with me. I wasn't sure what his back story with it was, but I was pretty certain that I was going to have to explain about Annie now. They weren't going to let me off the hook with this and I wouldn't let them.

"Oh I don't know what to tell you, maybe Dad didn't have his Wheaties that morning." Dean said angrily.

"What else do you remember?" Sam asked.

"Nothing, I was a kid, alright?" Dean said, wanting to change the subject.

Sam just nodded and then we all went back to the motel, going past Joanna and her son, Michael, going to our room. I paced a little and got upset when Dean came towards me again and his own anger mixed with mine was making Sam uncomfortable. We were about to fight and he didn't want to be here for it, but he had to research, and he knew there was always a chance he'd have to be the mediator, so he stayed put as he opened up his laptop.

"Will you let me try to be comforting, please?" Dean asked me, his voice raised a little.

I turned to look at him. "If you touch me, I'm going to lose it, so no!"

"You can't blame yourself for this!" Dean told me.

"Don't tell me what to do!" I snapped at him. "This Albanian witch is going to feed off of the life force of children until it has its fill and it's because apparently not only did _I _let it get away, but your Dad did too!"

Dean's eyes flashed. "Don't talk about my father with that tone!"

"If you tell me what to do one more time!" I yelled back, getting into his face.

"Guys!" Sam exclaimed.

Dean and I looked at each other for another moment before turning to Sam and Sam nodded slowly and then pointed at his laptop. He'd found something, and by the look on his face he wasn't happy about it, which meant that the two of us weren't going to be happy about it either. This Shtriga was causing more problems than I was hoping she would be and I wanted badly not to have to deal with this all at once.

"Lan is right—this Shtriga is an Albanian witch that prefers to feed on the life force of children because their life forces are stronger. Also, 'Shtrigas are invulnerable to all weapons devised by God and men'." Sam read to us.

"Great." I muttered.

Dean shook his head. "No, that's not right. She's vulnerable when she feeds."

"What?" Sam asked him, looking up at him as I looked back at him.

"If you catch her when she's eating, you can blast her with consecrated wrought irons, buckshots or rounds I think." Dean explained.

I tried to get him to look me in the eye. "How do you know that?"

"Dad told me, I remember." He answered heading over to search something in a notebook.

Sam nodded angrily. "Oh! So anything else Dad might have mentioned?"

"No, that's it…what?" He asked seeing Sam and me staring at him.

"Nothing." Sam said, looking back at the computer screen.

I crossed my arms over my chest at the animosity in the room. "We need to find her before we deal with anything else."

"Well that won't be a cakewalk. Shtrigas take on human forms when they're not feeding." Sam explained.

"Then we have to figure out what disguise." I told them. "Most likely an old woman."

"Really?" Dean asked.

Sam nods. "She's right."

"Dead center of the houses that have been attacked was the hospital. When we were there, I saw a patient, an old woman..." Dean said.

He trailed off as Sam got a goofy look on his face and I took a seat on Sam's bed, not wanting to sit next to Dean right that moment. The three of us were trying really hard to just focus on the hunt, but there were a lot of things that the three of us had to get over and that meant coming clean. It meant 'sharing and caring' and it was pretty common knowledge that Dean didn't do that sort of thing if he could help it.

"An old person, huh?" Sam asked Dean.

"Yeah." Dean replied.

Sam smiled at him. "In the hospital? Wow, better call the coast guards."

"Oh, listen smart-ass," Dean answered, "she had an inverted cross hanging on her wall."

"You two should go check it out, but I'm not going." I told them firmly, resting my hands on the end of the bed.

Sam and Dean turned to me and they both made different faces at me that I didn't like. I knew I was being childish because this thing was _killing children_, but I was not going to be a liability to them when I knew when it came down to it, I was going to paralyzed again by fear.

"Why not?" Sam asked me with care in his voice. "I thought you were safer with us."

I looked up at him. "I just—please don't make me."

"Why don't you just tell us what's up with you?" Dean asked me.

"Why don't you go check up on the woman with the inverted cross?" I asked him.

He gave me a look and I gave him one back, which made him angrily grab his coat and head directly out of the door. Sam sighed and I shook my head at him when he opened his mouth to speak and headed out too. They went to the hospital and didn't really find anything, coming back in silence and getting ready to sleep on it and go back to work first thing in the morning. I changed into my sleep wear as well and then climbed into the bed with Dean, his back to me in a huff.

"Don't." Dean said firmly when I rested my hand on his side.

I took a breath because I knew I deserved it. "Look…I wasn't always an only child, all right?"

I took my hand away from him and turned to lay on my back, resting the back of my hand on my forehead and looking up at the ceiling. The weight shifted as the tears came to my eyes and Dean propped his head up on his hand, reaching his arm over me and resting it on the other side of me, pulling my body closer to his, which just made the tears come. The whole reason I hadn't wanted him to touch me or to comfort me was because I knew I would lose it, and now I was crying and even Sam was alert to what was going on as Dean held me even closer and ran his nose along my hairline, kissing my temple softly.

"Is that what this is about?" Dean asked me.

I nodded slowly, still looking up at the ceiling. "I got my little sister killed, Dean. I looked that Shtriga in the eye and I couldn't kill it and Annie suffered."

"Lanni, we're going to kill this son of a bitch." Dean told me.

"I know, I just…I can't do this." I said softly and turned to face him, snuggling into him and kissing his neck softly. "I want to help but I don't think I have the strength in me. Just _thinking_ about the Shtriga makes me practically hyperventilate."

Dean kissed me. "I am going to right this, Lanni."

I nodded and kissed him, holding onto him and then groaning softly when he bit my bottom lip and then slipped his tongue into my mouth.

"Dean, that's not fair." I whispered, trying to catch my breath. "You've gotten me all horny now and we can't because Sam is right there."

Sam sighed. "And still sadly awake."

"Sorry, Sammy. We'll sleep, I promise." I told him, and snuggled into Dean as he stroked my hair and held me close to him protectively.

Something had changed between us and as far as I was concerned, it was for the better, and I hugged him close, falling asleep feeling protected. Then when we woke up, we found out that Michael's little brother had been attacked by the Shtriga, and Sam and I offered to babysit him while Dean took his mother to the hospital. I was really upset that I hadn't been able to feel the Shtriga's presence the night before, but I was stressed…and now one more kid had paid for my mistakes.

"You want to go to the playground?" I asked him softly.

Michael shrugged. "Nah."

"How about I read you a story? I know that when I was younger, my little sister liked me to read to her. It could help take your mind off things." I offered, smiling at him fondly.

"All right." Michael answered with a nod.

I smiled and grabbed my Hans Christian Anderson book from my duffle, reading a few stories out loud to him until Sam decided to head to the library. When he was off researching, Michael and I played some board games and I realized that someday this was going to be me—someday _I_ was going to have my own child to read to and play with and I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to have all of this extra responsibility…was I?

"There's my baby." Joanna said when she and Dean got back. "Thank you so much for watching him."

I smiled and rustled Michael's hair. "It was my pleasure. How is Asher?"

"He's…I'm sure he's going to be all right." Joanna replied.

I smiled at her and nodded, following Dean back to the motel, Sam meeting up with us. Dean told us that the doctor was the Shtriga, and that we really needed to finish this up because he was getting really upset about it all.

"I'm surprised you didn't take him out." I said, hugging my knees to me as I sat on mine and Dean's bed.

Dean shrugged a little. "Yeah, well number one, I wasn't going to just open fire on him in a pediatric ward."

"Good thinking." Sam told him.

"Number two, the bastard's bullet proof unless he's chowing down on something. And number three, I was packing. Which is probably good because I would have burned a clip in him just for the principle of the thing." Dean answered.

Sam smiled at his brother. "You're getting wise in your old age, Dean."

"Damn right." Dean said and Sam nodded.

I sat up and frowned a little. "He'll come back for Michael."

"Then we have to move him." Sam said, nodding slowly.

Dean shook his head. "We should use him for bait."

"Are you nuts?" Sam asked him. "No, forget it, that's out of the question."

"It's not out of the question, Sam. It's the only way. If this thing disappears, it could be years before we get another chance." Dean explained.

Sam shook his head in protest. "Michael's a kid. And I'm not gonna dangle him in front of that thing like a worm on a hook."

"I have to side with Sam here. It's wrong to make any kid endure that." I told him.

"Dad did _not _send me here to walk away." Dean said.

"Send you here? He didn't send _you_ here, he sent _us_ here." Sam corrected him.

That seemed to touch a nerve with Dean and I stood up, sighing a little and looked at him as Sam looked at him too. We really wanted him to come clean, especially since he had said he was going to finish this and now he was starting to get antsy which was never good with Dean. Dean Winchester trigger happy could really only go one of two ways and this hunt had to do with kids so _nothing_ could go wrong.

"This isn't about you Sam, alright? _I'm_ the one that screwed up. It's my fault, there's no telling how many kids have gotten hurt because of me." Dean said and then he looked at me. "This isn't your fault, Lanni."

I was thoroughly confused. "What?"

"What are you saying, Dean? How is it your fault? Dean, you've been hiding something from the get-go. Since when does Dad bail on a hunt? Since when does he let something get away? Now talk to me, man. Tell me what's going on." Sam told him. "I mean we at least know now that Lan faced it."

"Fort Douglas, Wisconsin. It was the 3rd night in this crap-room and I was climbing the walls, man. I needed to get some air." Dean began with a sigh.

Then he began to tell us about how John had left him with Sam and had given him explicit instructions to stay with Sam—stay in the room with him while he was sleeping. However, he wanted to go play a video game, so he left, and came back to the Shtriga trying to get Sam, so he picked up the gun, and the witch reacted to the metallic click but Dean didn't shoot right away—he hesitated. Then John entered the room, told Dean to move away and he fired a full round of bullets at the Shtriga who escaped through the window. Then he took Sam in his arms and made sure he was all right before scolding Dean for leaving when he was told not to.

"Dad just grabbed us and booked. Dropped us off at Pastor Jim's, about 3 hours away. By the time he got back to Fort Douglas, the Shtriga had disappeared. It was just gone—it never resurfaced until now. Dad never spoke about it again… I didn't ask but he…he looked at me different, you know, which is worse. Not that I blame him. He gave me an order and I didn't listen, and I almost got you killed." Dean said regretfully.

Sam looked at his brother lovingly. "You were just a kid."

"You can't take the blame for that." I whispered, smiling a little because Dean had told me the exact same thing and I had gotten upset about it when in all reality, sometimes monsters got away…sometimes we couldn't get the job done—we were only human.

"Don't. Don't. Dad knew this was unfinished business for me. He sent me here to finish it." Dean explained.

I nodded slowly. "I get how you can blame yourself—you disobeyed a direct order. At least Sam is around, Dean. When I first came in contact with the Shtriga, it took my sister—it killed her. I came into her room and read her a bedtime story, and as always, laid there on her bed with her until she fell asleep. The window opened, and then in came that terrible monster and it knelt by my sister—ignored me—just wanted her. Growing up in the environment that I did—but not being allowed to touch the guns—I knew to go to my parents, so I did and told them Annie was in trouble, and when they came up to see it was too late—I panicked. I just sat there. I didn't scream or anything. It even took me a moment or two to move. Then it was my turn the next night. I didn't scream when it came in my window. I just looked at it. It was a good thing my father came in and tried to get it—but it escaped—then it either went to you, or it went into hiding. Either way, it's not just your fault. At least you pointed a gun at it—I just stood there like a dumb little girl." I recounted, in tears. "You know how tough I am now? I have to make up for it because deep down I'm a coward. Part of me wanted to die that night it came back—I don't deserve to be here when Annie paid for my mistakes."

Sam and Dean came and sat on the bed with me and I smiled a little but wiped my tears away and leaned my head on Dean as he kissed the top of my head. Sam ran his fingers through my hair and then grasped my left hand and I nodded and then shook my head and stood up, straightening myself out. No…I was not going to be that cowardly little girl any longer—I was going to help to kill this Shtriga for once and for all and that was all there was to it.

"It's really not your fault." Sam said. "Either of you."

I smiled at him softly as I stood there looking at them. "Look Sam, I know you mean well, but who else can we blame. It's our responsibility—and my sister's gone because I stood there. She was my little sister, Sam, and she's gone. I can't bring her back, and it was my fault I didn't scream and interrupt her. I've never been the same since then. All of this talking about it, is really just making me realize that I _have_ to kill it. I don't want to use Michael, but if that's our only hope…we have to take the chance."

"No—I still don't like using Michael as bait. How about me?" Sam asked me.

"That won't work. We need a pure source—a child. Believe me, I don't like it, but it's gotta be the kid." Dean told us firmly.

I nodded and took a breath to stop the tear. "Then it's what we have to do."

It was really eating away at me that we were going to have to use an innocent child as bait to such a terrible monster, and I rested my hand on my stomach as we went to talk Michael into helping us out. I was going to be a mother in nine months, and I was actually _willing_ to possibly sacrifice a _child_? What was wrong with me? Something inside of me was definitely telling right then that I was definitely not supposed to procreate. Deep down I'd always wanted to be a mother, but in my chosen profession, it just wasn't in the cards and it shouldn't have been.

"I'll be back." I said suddenly, going back to the motel room to possibly throw up, coming back out a few minutes later and running into Sam and Dena in the hall. "What happened?"

Dean sighed. "He won't do it."

"Give me a minute." I told them and I went outside and found Michael. "Hey. Sorry we bombarded you earlier."

"I'm still taking it all in." Michael shrugged a little.

I nodded. "It's a big thing to take in. Look, this is going to sound terrible, but I lost my sister to this thing, and I can't—I just want you to know that you helping us could really help us to save all the other kids that could be affected by this in the future. I don't want to make you do this—in fact I would give _anything _not to let you do this—and if you don't want to, we won't make you—we'll find another way. This is just the best plan we can think of right now."

I ruffled his hair as Michael nodded, telling me that he would think about it and I smiled and headed back to the motel room. I stood outside the motel room door and rested my hand on my stomach again, shaking my head and wishing I wasn't such a terrible person before I headed inside. So I went in and told Sam and Dean that he was thinking about it, closing my eyes and nodding as a knock on the door sounded and Dean opened it up to Michael standing there.

"If you kill it, will Asher get better?" Michael asked him, me turning around to smile sadly at him.

Dean took a deep breath. "Honestly, we don't know."

"You said you're a big brother?" Michael asked.

"Yeah." Dean replied with a nod.

Michael nodded too. "You take care of your little brother? You'd do anything for him?"

"Yeah, I would." Dean told him, smiling a little at the young boy assessing him.

"Me too." Michael admitted and then he nodded. "I'll do it."

I couldn't help but speak up. "You sure you want to do this?"

Michael nodded, and then Dean looked at Sam and I, and we nodded in agreement. We began by installing a camera in Michael's bedroom and then Michael asked what he was supposed to do. I was second-guessing the plan but I kept my mouth shut about that and just smiled at Michael and tried to be my charming, convincing self.

"Just stay under the covers." I told him. "Just act like you're sleeping."

Dean nodded at him. "We'll be in the other room with the guns, and when we come in after the Shtriga shows up, you need to hide under your bed, okay?"

"You sure you won't shoot me?" Michael asked.

I smiled and sat on the bed, stroking his hair. "I promise you, they're terrific shots. They won't fire until it's clear."

"Oh, and another thing: gun shots are much louder than in the movies so you'll have to cover your ears and not come out from under your bed until we say so." Dean told him. "Michael, you're sure you wanna do this? You don't have to, it's okay. I won't be mad. Lana is always convincing, so I want to make sure."

"No, I'm okay. Just don't shoot me." Michael said strongly.

Dean smiled at his strength. "We're not gonna let anything happen to you. I promise."

"Remember, we'll be right over there." I told Michael softly. "You want me to stay or anything? Because I can stay with you if you need it."

Michael shook his head. "I'm okay."

I nodded and hugged him. "You're a brave kid."

We watched from the next room and by the time it was 3 a.m. still nothing had come through the window. It was starting to feel like nothing was going to happen and I wanted to go in and check on Michael, but I also didn't want to ruin this if the Shtriga really _was_ going to show. I couldn't let this Shtriga get out of this town—I couldn't let it live.

"Are you sure iron rounds are going to work?" Sam asked Dean and me.

I shrugged a little. "Maybe."

"Hey Dean, I'm sorry." Sam said suddenly.

"For what?" Dean asked him.

Sam sighed a little bit. "You know, I've really given you a lot of crap for always following Dad's orders. But I know why you do it."

"Oh God, kill me now." Dean replied with a sigh.

"How about don't do it, God: we need him for this." I told the ceiling.

Suddenly, the hand of the Shtriga appeared on the screen of the camera we had placed in Michael's room. Michael watched her open the window and then Sam and Dean got ready, but Dean made me stay put until the Shtriga was above Michael when I made a sudden move to go and save him. Michael took refuge under his bed, and then the three of us went in and started to fire, the Shtriga falling on the floor.

Dean went up to see if the Shtriga was dead, but she got up and sent Dean flying up against a wall. Then she disarmed me and smiled, backhanding me in the face and sending me across the room with one throw. Next she disarmed Sam and began to suck away his life force, Dean caught her attention as I got up, and then shot her in the head. This time, since the Shtriga was actually feeding, the bullet killed it and suddenly I felt a huge wave of relief sweep over me.

"You okay little brother?" Dean asked Sam, at his side as I went for Michael.

Sam just nodded as Dean shot the rest of his bullets into the already disintegrating Shtriga and then I couldn't help but shoot a few into it as well, before tossing Dean the gun and getting on my hands and knees. Poor Michael was probably completely scarred now, and I smiled at him as his eyes and mine made contact and he seemed scared, and yet incredibly brave.

"You can come out now, Michael." I told him.

Michael came out from underneath his bed, and I took his hand. "Is it over?"

"Yeah. It's over." I nodded to him. "It's safe now."

"Thank you." Michael said, hugging me.

I hugged him back and then tucked him in, having Dean make sure the window was shut and locked, and then we went back to our motel room and went to sleep, getting up the next morning and packing completely. We were putting our things in the trunk when Joanna, came over to us with the good news about Asher and the other kids being saved. As we were leaving, I waved to Michael who smiled at me and waved back, and I felt like I was going to miss him—I was proud of him.

"It's too bad." Sam said softly.

Dean shook his head. "No, they'll be fine."

"It's not what I meant. I meant, Michael. He will always know that there are things out there in the dark. He'll never be the same, you know? Sometimes I wish that…" Sam began, but then he trailed off.

"What?" Dean asked.

Sam looked at him as we drove. "I wish that I could have that kind of innocence."

"I know what you mean." I said with a nod.

Dean nodded as well. "If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could, too."

"I wish we _all_ could have been more innocent longer." I said and then I rested my hand on my stomach and I took a deep breath as Dean looked at me in the rear view mirror.

"Is Annie the reason why you turned to everything you turned to?" Dean asked me. "Is she that pivotal moment that turned you into a hunter?"

I nodded slowly and looked up. "After she died, I knew that it was up to me to save everyone I could from that fate—I—I'm surprised I didn't freeze that last time. That thing had me so messed up and now it's gone."

"You have us Lanni." Dean said softly.

Sam nodded and turned around a little to look at me. "We'll always have your back."

I smiled at them because it meant quite a lot to me to have their support, and at the same time I was feeling pretty bad about everything that was going on. For some reason I was freaking out, and I needed to voice it because that was how I was. All of this was happening so fast and I didn't think I could handle it—I didn't think I could do it.

"I am going to be a terrible mother." I said suddenly and Sam and Dean both glanced at me. "I am going to be a terrible mother."

**Note: There is some of Lana's past. Now some dark stuff is ahead, so be prepared. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	16. Getting Dean to Share and Care

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Sorry, this is reposted.**

**Okay this chapter is full of a lot of stuff, including a POV shift and smut.**

**That's your warning.**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I was the most surprised that Sam flat out told me to make things up to Lana while he checked up on some things with Bobby and everything. We were both pretty worried about Lana's outburst in the car and though we had both set to tell her that there was no way she would be a terrible mother, my girl was stubborn and she was pretty sure she was doomed. Part of me had a feeling that it was my fault as well, mainly because I didn't want to talk about the baby, nor had I really been making her feel entirely like I wanted to have her around.

Truth of the matter was that I was scared—I was scared that I was going to be a father, and I was scared of how close to Lana I was. Sooner or later she was going to want something more from me, and I didn't know how much more of me I could give her without putting her in even more danger. Damn woman had gone and made me fall in love with her and I'd gone and knocked her up and though part of me was giddy about it, the part of me that was sacred about what all of this meant was winning out.

"Why is Sam taking the car?" Lana asked me as she slung her duffle over her shoulder and looked at me. "I'm not in the mood, so whatever he thinks he's doing, you should stop him."

I took a breath and she headed for the office, getting us a room with two doubles and then claiming ours as she always did. Then she got ready for bed and laid on it, opening up one of her many books she brought with her, propped up against the headboard, reading. She was kind of rather attractive when she read, her head cocked to one side, and a fingernail in her mouth, her legs crossed. So I took a deep breath and I pulled off my shirt and undid my belt, pushing off my jeans and crawling onto the bed with her.

"What are you reading?" I asked her, kissing her bare shoulder softly, willing myself not to simply pull the tank off of her now.

She smiled a little and rested her head against mine. "I'm reading 'Othello'. It's about a man who is deceived by his best, most trusted friend, and kills his wife."

"Wow—talk about depressing." I told her, laughing a little. "You are kind of a freak, you know that?"

"Thank you." She replied, laughing too and then she kissed my nose as I looked at her. "Dean, I'm sorry."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "For what, Lanni?"

"Um, hello—for getting myself knocked up." She told me, closing her book and putting her fingers to my lips as I started to protest. "I should have been smarter about all of it."

"Lanni? You have to stop putting blame on yourself for _everything_." I told her sternly, running my hand up her leg and shaking my head when she started to talk again. "You need to shut the yap."

She stopped my hand when I made it to the opening in her boxers with my fingers. "I believe I said I wasn't in the mood."

"You lied." I replied with a shrug.

"Oh I lied, did I?" She asked me with a laugh.

I nodded slowly our eyes locked as she bit her lip and then glanced at mine, which made me smirk. She wanted it and I knew she did, so I simply looked at her eyes as she looked at my mouth as I often did, and then she groaned pleasantly and I slipped my fingers into her boxers, frowning a little. The frown caused her focus to shift and she looked me in the eye again, cocking her head to the side which honestly was going to be my undoing if she kept it up.

"What?" She asked me, smirking a little when I sighed. "You afraid of a little work?"

I laughed a little. "Oh so you _planned_ this?"

"Of course not—I just naturally put panties on and _then_ the boxers. That's something you should learn because the routine never changes." Lana told me and then started to get off the bed but I had other plans.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I was pretty sure that the entire set-up here was planned by Sam and Dean and though part of me didn't want to play right into their hands, part of me wanted this Dean, and wanted this with Dean _badly_. So I let him pin me to the bed and then kissed him, smiling a little against his lips as he was shocked for a moment or two, but then responded readily. He was all I wanted and for now I had to count my blessings because I had him and he honestly wanted to be here…I needed to be thankful.

"I love you." I whispered as his lips left mine to kiss my jaw line and then my neck.

Dean paused a moment and then kissed my neck resolutely. "I love you too."

Part of me wanted to talk to him about his hesitation, but he honestly meant it—I could tell by the tone in his voice. Besides, if I tried to talk to Dean Winchester about feelings, and got upset about his hesitation to say 'I love you', this 'encounter' of ours was so over. I knew that 'love' was a word that Dean never used, and if I kept trying to pressure him into saying it, I was just one of those girls I didn't want to be.

All that really mattered was that I loved him, and he was here for me when he could have up and left a long time ago. Just that fact that he was so willing to have me in his life was flattering, and I was rather pleased that even though something big had happened to us, he was still here. Now whether he was still here because he wanted to be here, or whether he was still here simply because his father told him to be was _completely_ up for debate.

"I think it's time I do something for you, Mister." I told him softly, kissing him swiftly and pushing on him a little, sighing when he wouldn't budge. "I'm horny too, Dean, but honestly."

He laughed as I did. "Lanni, I don't need to be serviced through making you do things for me—I just want to be with you."

"And in order for _that_ to happen, I have to be allowed to do things _to_ you." I told him with a laugh, sliding my hand down his torso. "You've taught me well, I think."

"Lanni…that's not fair." He breathed out as I slipped my hand into his boxers.

I smiled and kissed him softly as I tugged in him a little. "Life isn't fair."

"Aren't you just adorable?" Dean asked me with a small laugh, and kissed me back, rocking against my hand as I changed the pressure on him. "You're a fast learner."

"Oh, I know." I replied, and kissed him again.

For a little while we just kissed and let our hands and tongues do the talking, but soon Dean was no longer open to the idea of not being the one in control. He liked to be the one that initiated things, and had things go the way _he_ wanted them to go, so soon the tables had turned and I was the one biting my lips trying to concentrate as he did things to me instead. It seemed to amuse him too when I told him not to be such a damn control-freak, even though we both knew it was good for me.

"I thought you didn't want to drag it out." I puffed out as his fingers pushed in and out. "I thought—"

"—I thought you _did_." Dean protested, closing his eyes as I went to touch the length of him again.

I smiled a little when he moaned and matched it. "No more games."

"Agreed." Dean replied, and slipped his fingers out, kissing me tenderly.

Soon his flesh was flush inside of mine and we rocked against each other until our climaxes shattered us, and then we smiled at each other and kissed a little more. Dean scooped me up into his arms and held me protectively close, kissing my damp forehead as I traced random shapes along his saturated pecks. I giggled a little and asked for another go, Dean making me promise we'd get straight to the main event—I wasn't sure _why_ he was in such a hurry, but right then it didn't matter…I had a my man with me and that was all I needed.

xxxx

We were at a bar about a week after the whole Shtriga incident and Dean was picking up chicks and putting their numbers in his phone while Sam and I were looking at the paper. A couple had their throats slit in their own home, and Sam signaled to Dean, who didn't look happy being interrupted, and I laughed a little bit. Jen and Dean had been chatting over the phone about his commitment—even though I had wanted her to leave it alone—and Dean was trying to prove he could still get girls.

He wasn't going to sleep with any because he knew that would cause me pain and thankfully he didn't want to do that to me, but at the same time I was feeling pretty annoyed about how things were going. Dean was attractive, and he was flirtatious, and he really _could_ get any girl he wanted no matter what. I smiled at Sam as he rested his hand on mine as Dean came over and shrugged it off—I wasn't going to let it get to me.

"I think I got something." Sam told Dean when he made it to us with a beer.

"So do I." Dean said.

I rolled my eyes. "Anything could look like that."

I looked down at my jeans and halter-top as I said that and frowned—I was attractive even pregnant. Just because I wasn't throwing myself at him didn't mean I didn't have spunk and talent and everything else the boy needed and/or wanted. I mean I knew he was mine but I was also feeling a little neglected and I mean the bet had been that he could still get a girl _no matter what_. Maybe that meant that I could step in and raise the stakes a little bit…

"I could even look like that." I said with a pout.

"Lan, you're gorgeous just the way you are. What are we this time?" Sam asked Dean.

Dean said something along the lines of talent scouts, and I was annoyed, but I smiled when Dean smiled at and rested his hand on my knee. I knew he loved me, and I knew he was just trying to win the bet since money was involved, but why did the bet have to involve cheap whores in bars? Why did the bet have to be Dean picking up floozies? It was annoying and I wanted it to stop.

"Sam, she has a friend over there. I could hook you up." Dean said with a smile. "Just because I'm not taking them home, doesn't mean that you can't."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, because Sam trusts your taste in women _so_ much—you got lucky with me."

"Lana has a point." Sam said, both of us high-fiving and laughing. "Besides, I can get my own date."

"You can, but you don't." Dean told him.

Sam looked up at him a little aggravated. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." Dean said quickly and then pointed at John's journal. "What do you got?"

"Well besides the case, I've got Lan to keep me company." Sam told him, and I smiled.

I smiled at the support. "You sure do."

As Sam began to explain the case, I looked over at the girls at the bar checking Dean out and I frowned and took my cell phone out to text Jen. As far as I was concerned, Dean was mine and there was no way in Hell I was letting some cheap sluts even _think _they had a chance with him. So when Dean asked if we could do this in the morning so he could win the bet, all bets were officially off.

"I have a feeling you're going to owe Jen that hundred bucks!" I called to him and he just laughed a little and stood in between the two girls, me smiling at Sam and then standing up. "Sorry, I need to wrangle up my man even though he's going to be out $100."

Sam chuckled and nodded. "I think he'll forgive you."

"Let's hope so." I replied, and then headed straight over to the bar, Dean raising his eyebrows at me and the brunette and the blonde looking at me as I got up to them.

They thought I was stepping in on their territory and I totally wasn't—it was _my_ territory and _they_ were the ones trespassing. I plastered a smile on my face and Dean closed his eyes for a second, realizing that I was in fact the jealous type and he was about to lose money. Like he had _any_ right to be even _remotely_ angry with me…

"Looks like fun over here." I told them, sitting down next to the brunette on the bar stool.

The brunette took a breath. "Three was really our limit."

"Oh." I told her like I had just realized I wasn't welcome and then smiled and held out my hand. "I'm Lana—his knocked up girlfriend and I'm afraid _two_ is our limit and he's one, and I'm two so…"

"You are disgusting." The blonde told Dean, and she and her friend headed off after telling me I could do better.

I waved at them as they headed off and then my smile turned into a frown as I looked at Dean and shook my head. He was laughing because he found the whole 'face-off' rather entertaining, but I wasn't finding it entertaining. I could have blamed my hormones, but really I was just upset that my boyfriend was off flirting with not just one but _two_ girls that were definitely not me. Was it too much to ask to have Dean's _full_ attention? I really didn't think so.

"It's kind of adorable that you're fighting for me." Dean told me, placing his hand on the bar stool next to me and leaning in.

I rolled my eyes and put my hand up to stop his mouth. "I'm not kissing you."

"You _do_ realize that I _wasn't_ going to take either of them home, right?" Dean asked me and sighed when I widened my eyes a little and stared him down. "Baby, I think we _both_ know how I feel about you."

"Well you should show me that a little more often because I'm feeling ignored. You haven't said a single thing about my outfit, or my hair—I'm having a good hair day!" I protested, shaking my head and pushing on his mouth with my hand as he chuckled and leaned in again. "I look good tonight and you had divided attention and it was between _two_ girls, and neither of them was me."

Dean sighed. "Lanni, I—"

"—I don't want excuses, Dean; I'm just telling you that I'm upset. I'm your girlfriend, and I don't think it's too much to ask to have your full attention—_especially_ when I'm looking mighty fantastic tonight." I told him, pouting a little. "Like _mighty_ fantastic."

Dean chuckled and nodded, taking me by the hand and leading me back over to Sam, the three of us heading to the motel. Even though Sam and I really wanted to check out the house of the couple that had been murdered, Dean wanted to stay at the motel and so I sat next to him on the couch when Sam went to go to sleep. He stroked my hair and then started to nuzzle my neck with his nose, and I sighed and then bit my lip and closed my eyes as he started to nibble.

"I'm not caving." I whispered, but I knew it wasn't convincing since we both knew that I most certainly _was_ caving.

Dean chuckled a little. "Let's go outside."

"Why?" I asked him, but followed him when he took me by the hand and had me follow him outside and then I shook my head as we made it to the Impala. "Oh no…there is no way."

"Come on, Lanni—I promise everything will be fine." Dean assured me.

I swallowed and then nodded, holding the back door open as Dean got in before me and laid on his back, smiling at me and motioning for me to join him. I got in and straddled his waist, him pulling his knees up and then I reached back behind me and shut the door. I made sure the doors were locked, which made Dean chuckle and then I looked at him and bit my lip and he nodded softly and ran his hands along my jeaned legs.

"Don't worry, Baby—we won't do anything too crazy." He told me.

I nodded and smiled a little. "And we're staying like this?"

"Unless you'd like to shift." Dean replied with a smile.

"No! No…I like being on top." I said with a blush and then I pulled my halter off and smiled down at him, tucking my hair behind my ears. "I think I'm caving."

Dean chuckled and sat up, stroking my hair and bringing his face close to mine. "You look amazing tonight, Lanni."

"Stop trying to suck up and kiss me, Jerk." I told him, smiling and rolling my eyes.

xxxx

Sex in the backseat of a car? It wasn't the worst thing I had ever experienced, but definitely _not_ what it seemed like in TV shows and movies. It was fun, it felt incredible, but it was kind of awkward, and I'd hit my head on the roof of the car. Having Dean on top was definitely the easiest way to get through the sex, and then when we'd had all the sex that we had wanted, we'd gone inside and gotten dressed and laid in our bed.

Dean had been sweet, and charming, and he'd stroked my hair and held me close to him and I wanted so desperately for that moment to last forever and I knew it couldn't. Eventually Dean and I were going to have to get up, and we were going to have to go about life, and hopefully…Dean and I would talk about the pregnancy. Hopefully, Dean would acknowledge it instead of choosing to turn my switches on whenever we got in the neighborhood of discussing it.

I let it go though, so I smiled a little and snuggled up close to him, both of us getting up early with Sam and getting ready to go and EMF sweep the Telesca house. Dean was pretty tired though, because he'd been pretty active the day before and then we'd have a sex a good three times the night before—I'd already had myself some coffee. So Sam and I had done a sweep of the house and then when we'd found nothing, we went out to the car and saw Dean sleeping in the passenger seat with sunglasses on.

"Push on the horn." I told Sam with a laugh.

He looked at me. "Yeah? All right—it could be funny."

"_Could_ be?" I asked with a smile on my face.

Sam smiled too and chuckled a little before he pushed on the horn and the sound of it woke Dean up with a start, him jumping while Sam and I laughed. We got into the car and Dean gave us both a look, still calming down a little from the shock.

"Hey! So not cool!" Dean said.

I smiled at him. "It was simply too hard to resist."

"Quite the girlfriend." Sam told Dean with a laugh as Dean took the sunglasses off slowly. "Now we did a sweep of the house and we got nothing. However, Lan and I got a lead, so I'm thinking we should go to the Auction House and check some things out."

"Sounds good." Dean replied and then looked back at me. "How come _you're_ not tired?"

I leaned forward as I grinned. "Because _I_ haven't been up for more than 24 hours. _I_ got some sleep—now are you going to be helpful or lazy all day?"

"I think someone needs more caffeine in their system because they're grumpy." Dean told me with a chuckle.

I sighed loudly. "You and me both, but Sammy cut me off—he thinks my 'insane level of caffeine consumption' is harmful to the baby."

"Good thinking." Dean said, and it was all he said before turning to his brother.

Honestly, I hadn't expected more than that from him, but at the same time I was disappointed—I mean I was carrying his baby and he never talked about it. I didn't wanna force the conversation on him but the least he could do was act like he wanted it—he just acted like it was just some other part of life and ignored it.

"So let's go." I said, and leaned back, making a face that made Dean sigh.

He just nodded though and then the three of us went and we found the auction house and decided to check it out since Sam and I had been so intent on going in. We were eating food when the guy came over to us and kicked us out because we weren't on the list after we had looked around a bit and found a creepy picture of a family. We met Sara, who talked to us about the painting, and then we were pretty much out on our asses trying to piece all of our findings together.

"You were attracted to her." I told Sam with a goofy smile on my face. "That Sara Blake made you a little speechless."

Sam blushed a little. "No she didn't."

"Well at first I thought Dean would go for her, but he turned down the mini quiche—there was no help after that one." I said, looking at Dean.

Dean rolled his eyes. "You know, lately you're sassier than normal."

I shrugged. "This is the real me. You're finally seeing my true colors."

"Besides—why would I pick her when I have you?" Dean asked me.

I smiled a little because he was kind of being mushy in public, and I knew it was his way of making up for making me upset in the car. So I rolled my eyes and told them we should get to the motel, and when we did I frowned at the black and white and the disco type theme and the nasty taste of furniture—though it grew on me. As weird as it was at first, it really didn't seem too bad as the hunt wore on…and the beds were comfy, so how could I complain _too _much?

Once we were unpacked, I offered for us all to go out to dinner but Dean wanted to just order some pizza like always. After a little trying to persuade I gave in and Sam made a 'date' with Sara to talk about the paintings and everything, while Dean and I had some pizza, then I got dressed down, washed my face and brushed my teeth. Once I'd gotten dressed into my pajamas and then put moisturizer on my face and rinsed my mouth out with mouthwash, I looked up after spitting to see Dean's face in the mirror, and I almost screamed, but then I shook my head and turned to face him.

"That was nice of you." I told him.

He came to me without saying a word and kissed me. I was caught off guard, but because I loved him, I kissed him back. When we pulled away, I smirked and Dean stroked my hair which made me rethink my witty remark from before. He was going out of his way to be sweet and caring, so how could I be mad at him at all? Right now he was just being a loving boyfriend, and I really needed the support—especially since I was starting to feel a little nauseous.

"What was that for?" I asked him slowly.

"You've been kind of down lately and I haven't been helping." Dean replied, and leaned in to kiss me again. "I'm sorry."

I waved it off and then put my hand over my mouth and groaned. "Why is it called 'morning sickness' when it hits in the early evening too?"

"I'm not the person to ask." Dean told me with a sad smile and left the bathroom when Sam came in with the Provenances that we needed.

I was focusing a little more on keeping the vomit down than I was on Dean being vulgar asking Sam how it all went, but I couldn't help but chuckle when I leaned on the bathroom door frame. Sam sighed loudly as Dean asked if he had to do Sara any 'special favors' and then Sam shot me a look when I right out laughed.

"Dean, get your mind out of the gutter." Sam said sternly.

"I don't think you'll _ever_ get him to do that." I told Sam.

Dean took the moment of eye contact between Sam and I that softened Sam a little to mention that we could always stay for a while so Sam could ask her out again, but Sam changed the subject to talk about the painting. Sam was pretty adamant about sneaking into the Auction House and stealing the painting to burn it, but Dean wasn't letting me go with them. Just in case something went wrong, I was supposed to stay behind, and though that annoyed me, I knew it was in my best interest.

I spent the time they were gone talking to Jen on the phone, and then she went to sleep and so did I, waking up the next morning to Dean sitting on the side of our bed, stroking my hair. I was about to turn over and tell him that I was thankful for him, but then he started to freak out about how he had left his wallet and we all had to go and get it back. When we got there though, it was all just a rouge to get Sam and Sara to talk again and I rolled my eyes as Dean steered me away from them.

"So we did that, why exactly?" I asked Dean as we got to the car.

"Sam needs some time—this is how he'll get over Jessica." Dean explained to me.

"Right. So…what do _we_ do?" I asked him, looking at him and shrugging.

Dean smirked at me. "I'm glad you asked."

Dean kissed me, wrapping his arms around my waist and then deepening the kiss, his fingers going to my shirt, but I stopped him. It was adorable that he wanted his brother to hook-up so that he could, but I wanted to talk things over whether he wanted to or not. He sighed as he looked into my eyes and knew what was coming, and I nodded slowly and then bit my lip before taking a breath and opening my mouth to speak.

"You know, when the baby comes you can't ignore it anymore." I told him softly, looking down at the ground. "I mean it's easy to do it now, but sooner or later it's going to be a crying being."

Dean nodded and put his fingers under my chin, making me look at him. "I know…I just don't know exactly how to deal with this. Right now I'm just trying to keep you and the baby safe."

"I get that, I do, but sometimes it would be nice to know if you actually _wanted _it or not." I explained slowly.

Dean was going to say something when Sam came out, and started freaking about the painting still being there. Apparently it had come back even though they had burned it, so we got into the car and tried to figure out what else there was for us to do. When I mentioned that it could have something to do with the bones of Isaiah, Dean nodded, and so we went to go and see if we could get more information on where the bodies were buried. All we found out was that the man had killed his children, then his wife, and then himself, and that the picture kept changing—that, and the bodies were cremated—so they were already burnt, and that would put a damper in things.

We went back to the motel and I groomed myself and sat on the bed, e-mailing Jen—she and I had been talking on the phone a lot lately, but I was starting to feel like there was something going on she wasn't talking to me about. She was busy, I was busy, and though we had made a pact a long, _long _time ago to tell each other everything, we both finally had solidly different lives of our own. Then what I thought was going to be calm and peaceful e-mailing, turned into Dean annoying Sam by continually bringing Sara up, and Sam and him started to fight. It was all about Jessica, and we knew that, but Sam knew it too, and that was the important part.

"Hey. How _you_ doin'?" Dean said, smiling at me as he laid on our bed next to me.

I looked up from the computer. "Look, I know you hit something with this whole Jessica thing, but you need to back off just a little and let Sammy be."

As we were talking, Sam freaked out on the phone with Sara because she had sold the portrait, and we all took off to go talk to Sara about getting an address and she came with us to this old woman's house—and the old woman had died the same way as the others—her throat was slit with a razor. She was definitely freaked about all of it, and when we got back at the motel we were happy Sara lied for us, but then we had to explain the ghost thing, and she wasn't taking it well. On the other hand, she wanted to come and help us, so I shrugged because we could use all the help we could get right then.

"All right, but I need you to try and wrap your brain around it." I told her. "I know this is totally improbable, but it's true and we need you completely on board, otherwise it could get someone killed."

After Sam convinced her of the truth, she was more willing to help us, but the look on Sam's face made me smile a little—he cared too much about her to let her come along. Sam told Sara he didn't want her to get hurt, but she felt responsible for selling the painting, and went ahead of us all out the door. I was actually incredibly fond of her, and went to grab a weapon because believe it or not I was doing this no matter what.

"So we going, or what?" Sara asked, going out the door and shutting it behind her.

"Sam," Dean said, pointing to the door, "marry that girl."

"You marry this one." Sam retorted.

I looked up suddenly. "Hey! Don't scare him like that! We're not at that point in our relationship yet, so drop it."

"I agree." Dean replied, and part of me felt sad about it.

I knew I shouldn't feel too bad about it since Dean and I really hadn't known each other a long period of time, but eventually what if I _did_ want to marry him? I mean I loved him, and we were having a baby, and what if one day I wanted to be his wife? Would Dean Winchester _ever_ wanted to even _get_ married?

"Lan?" Sam asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I smiled at him. "I'm fine. Let's go."

He and Dean sighed at me but let me go too, and we went to the crime scene and examined the portrait, giving us clues to the burial sight, and so we went there and found out that the father wasn't there. That meant we had more research to do so we went to find the death certificate and to figure out where he was buried, and left Sam and Sara alone and resulted to our wiles to get us in. When we came out, it was obvious they had had a meaningful chat, and I was glad because I wanted Sam to be happy—he deserved it more than most.

We went to go and dig up the body, and then we burned his bones and decided to go make sure that the deed was done, but Dean told me to stay in the car so that Sam could make his move, which made Sam a tad perturbed. I wanted Sam to be happy just like Dean did, but Sam needed to be able to go about being with Sara on his own _if_ he wanted to. Actually, it was a really admirable trait for Sam to want to give himself a good grieving period so he could honor Jessica's memory, but if he _did_ move on I wanted it to be with Sara Blake.

"You are being forceful." I told Dean, pushing on the back of his chair a bit. "Stop it."

Dean shrugged and turned on the music, lounging in the front seat, but Sam motioned for him to knock it off, and he did. Unfortunately, Sam and Sara got shut in the house and we found out that it wasn't the father at all—but the little girl. It was one more creepy little girl for the history books and Dean made me stay in the car as he tried to get through the door and then Sam called to him that we had to burn the little girls' doll—because it some of the little girls' real hair in it.

"Gross." I whispered as Dean made it back to the car.

Dean and I drove and found the doll and burned it, killing the spirit, which thankfully meant that our job was done. Unfortunately, this meant it was all over and we had to move on—which meant Sam saying 'goodbye' to Sara. We all got up the next morning and got dressed and ready to leave and everything, and then stopped off at the Auction House. We saw that the picture was back to normal, and that the little girl had murdered her first family, Isaiah adopted her, and then she killed his family and had been killing people ever since.

"We should leave." I said, hugging Sara as she hugged me back. "I need some fresh air. Nice meeting you, Sara."

"You too, Lana." Sara told me with a smile.

"I'll go wait in the car. See ya, Sara." Dean walked away. "Just burned the doll and killed the spirit. Don't thank me or anything."

I leaned over to him and whispered, "Thank you."

Dean smiled at me. "I'm just glad you're here too."

"So you can get me to cave to sex?" I asked him with a laugh.

Dean shook his head as we left the building and headed towards the car and then he sighed and I looked over at him. He reached out to rest his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye, which honestly made me feel better about it all. _I_ was making the jokes and _he_ was being serious for once and it was certainly a nice change of pace for us.

"No, Lanni, because we need you and I…love you." He said with a smile.

I smiled at him too. "I love you too. Is there…is there—"

"—I want our baby. I know that I don't come out and say it…but I do." He told me.

I smiled and got a little teary-eyed, about to say something when Sam came out and Dean and I both looked over in the direction of the noise. Sara gave Sam a glance and then shut the door, both Dean _and_ I surprised when Sam turned back around and knocked on the door. Sara opened it up and smiled at him, Sam kissing her and it made Dean and I both smile at them over there happy.

"That's my boy." Dean said with pride.

I nodded as I grinned. "Yeah. It's good he's happy."

"Let's wait in the car." Dean told me.

"Yeah. Let's do that." I replied, and got into the backseat as Dean got into the Driver's seat and turned around to look at me. "What?"

Dean reached over to stroke my hair. "I don't want you to get hurt."

I rolled my eyes and kissed him slipping my fingers into his hair and biting his bottom lip softly before pulling away. Dean grunted and then his face changed when he noted my discomfort and he couldn't help but make a joke about the situation.

"Kissing me makes you want to vomit?" He asked playfully.

I shot him a look. "No, but carrying your baby apparently does."

"That's so much better." He told me and sighed. "What can I do to make you more comfortable?"

"Honey, I think morning sickness has to pass all on its own." I said and then scrunched up my nose. "You could bathe when we get to the next motel though."

Dean made a face. "I smell fantastic."

"What did you do?" Sam asked Dean, getting into the passenger seat of the car.

"Nothing, I just—the smells have been getting to me lately and he still smells like crypt." I replied and then buckled myself in. "Are we heading out or what?"

Dean chuckled and started the car. "God, you are so demanding."

"And you love me." I replied, all three of us smiling as Dean pulled the car out onto the highway.


	17. Bonding with John Winchester

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay so this chapter has a LOT to do with Lana, the woman who killed her parents, and John.**

**The standard warnings apply: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

A few days after the fiasco with the painting and the creepy little girl with the razor blade that came out of it, Sam, Dean and I were on the road again, heading to go and find a place to stop. There was no set hunt, but then my phone rang and I knew that for me there was definitely about to be: It was John.

"Hey!" I answered excitedly.

John chuckled. "Hey, Lana. Look, I know this is totally not the right time, and I know you have an unborn child to think about too, but I need you to fly over to Georgia—by yourself—and help me to defeat Nora."

"What?" I asked, swallowing because I knew that was never going to fly with Sam and Dean—_especially_ right now.

"I have a pretty good feeling you haven't told Dean about your powers, right? Well you have to use them to kill Nora and avenge your parents' deaths." John explained to me.

I took a deep breath and nodded slowly from the backseat of the car. "Okay, but the thing is, they won't let me go—not by myself."

"I thought about that, but I came up with an alibi—I'm your crazy uncle in Georgia that only you're allowed to see, and I'm dying so you have to come fill out papers—no demon things for them to pick up on." He told me.

"All right." I told him and then quickly became somber. "I understand. Thank you. Talk to you soon."

I hung up the phone and looked at them, both intently waiting for me tell them what that was all about. There was only so much that I could say on the phone to John without telling them that their father was in fact calling _me_ and still had yet to get into contact with _them_. There would be Hell to pay for that so I pretty much had to suck it up and get this over with _without_ letting them in on it—besides…I still hadn't come clean about _any_ of my powers yet.

"So?" Dean asked me finally.

"So, what?" I answered with a shrug, trying to make it out like it was nothing.

Dean gave me a look in the rearview mirror. "What was that about?"

"I have an uncle in Georgia who's in an asylum, and he's dying. Since I'm now the immediate relative on his forms, I got the first call." I explained to him, biting my lip a little bit to accentuate my lie and pass it off for a truth.

"That sucks, Lan. I'm sorry." Sam said, smiling back sadly at me.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, Lanni. So what's going to happen?"

"They're going to call my cousin and have him deal with it." I replied sadly, shrugging a little and then shifting uncomfortably.

"We could take a trip there if _you_ want to deal with it." Dean offered, noting that I wanted to go but I wasn't making them go out of their way."

I shook my head. "No, that's all right. I think Ben can take care of him—I have faith in him."

"Is Ben your cousin?" Sam asked.

I nodded at him. "Yeah. Uncle Joe was always his favorite."

"Uncle Joe the crazy one?" Dean asked me with a small laugh.

I nodded yet again. "Next right is a motel. I'm kind of tired."

When we got to the motel, we all got ready for bed, and I said I was kind of wide awake and I'd come to bed later. Dean wanted to hold me to make me feel a little better about the whole situation, but I insisted and turned the TV on, keeping the volume low so that I wouldn't keep Sam or Dean awake. Unfortunately, Dean was making this rather difficult on me and brought a blanket over, snuggling up against me.

"Baby, I'm sorry about your uncle." Dean whispered, kissing my neck as he rested his head on my shoulder.

I smiled and leaned my head against his. "I know—it's all right though…sleep."

I kissed the top of his head and then when I was absolutely sure that Sam and Dean were sleeping, I got up, got dressed, and then I left them a note saying I'd be back tomorrow and to call me, after packing my things and putting them in the car, taking only myself. I called John and let him know that I was on my way, and then I got to the airplane by cab and got onto the plane. Something told me this wasn't going to end well, but I couldn't sit around and do nothing when Nora was out there and I was the key to stopping her once and for all.

The plane ride to Georgia was rather nice, and once the plane landed I got off the plane and went out through security, and found John waiting for me. I smiled and ran over and hugged him, keeping up appearances in public just in case…and for some reason wanting to hug my baby's grandfather. At first I thought John was going to be somewhat distant like he was when I first met him, but he hugged me back and then placed his hand on my stomach, which made me blush a little but I was happy about it.

"So you got here safe and by yourself." He said and then he laughed a little. "Or at least _mostly_ by yourself."

I nodded and smiled at him. "Yeah…_mostly_.I told Sam and Dean the uncle story, but they wanted to come and help me deal so I made up a cousin. For the record, you're Uncle Joe, and you're Cousin Ben's favorite uncle."

He laughed a little too. "Not yours?"

"Of course you are—I just needed a reason not to come—I left them a note saying I would be back sometime tonight hopefully and to call me if they wanted to." I explained to him. "It was bad enough I left without Dean okaying it—not that he wears the pants in this relationship because really…he _doesn't_. I just…I'm carrying _his_ baby and he's going to be beyond upset that I just left."

He nodded at me. "All right. Let's be quick, then."

We got into his car and drove to the crypt that John said Nora had been retreating to, and then explained that she'd been going from town to town. He only ran across her because his own hunt had lead him here, and he decided to kill two birds with one stone. Besides…he owed my mother—whatever _that _meant. Note to self: when you survive this fight, ask John more about your mother.

"Crap!" I exclaimed, jumping as my phone rang and then answering it quickly. "Dean, honey, I love you, but I'm a little busy right now and I'm going to have to hang up. I'll call you back soon."

I hung up the phone as he began to protest, and then turned the phone off, turning to John as he laughed a little. He was amused, and he was proud, and at the same time he was trying so desperately to be serious but he was too entertained. When I raised my eyebrows and asked him what was so funny, he just waved it off and calmed himself down a little bit.

"That could have gotten us noticed." John informed me, smiling a little.

I blushed and shrugged. "Sorry."

"That's all right. It's good to know he's protective of you." John replied.

"I think he's only protective of me because he knocked me up. I mean I know he loves me and I'm trusting in that, but…I can't help wondering how differently he would be acting if I _wasn't_ pregnant." I told John with a shrug, pocketing my phone.

John reached over and rested his hand on my stomach and I smiled sadly—John didn't really know me and yet he was being more of a grandfather in the respect of touching my stomach than Dean was being a father. Why wasn't Dean this way about it? I knew he had admitted that he loved me and that he wanted the baby, but couldn't he rub my stomach more often? Hold me protectively placing his hand on my stomach when we _weren't_ sleeping? All I needed was the verbal and conscious reassurance…I needed to talk to him again.

"Give him time, Lana—he'll come around to all of it in just the way you want him to. My eldest has never really done this 'love' thing…but I'm sure that he'll figure it out with you." John explained and then took his hand away. "Shall we?"

I nodded and smiled at him. "Yeah…we shall."

"Grab a gun and make sure you're ready to use some magic. I know you don't want to, but Nora will be tough without it." John told me with a sad smile on his face. "I know you can do this—I believe in you."

"Mother, give me strength." I whispered as we got out of the car.

With a reassuring smile from John and a new feeling of power coursing through my veins, I got out of the car and grabbed a gun, heading into the crypt. I was _that_ much closer to finding out about my past—about my adopted parents' pasts. I was _that_ much closer to actually defeating the woman who had killed my adopted parents, and even closer to putting their restless spirits to rest.

"We can do this." John told me when we made it to the door of the crypt. "You have to embrace what you are."

I nodded and he and I made eye contact. "Here goes."

We burst into the crypt as Nora was knelt in front of an alter, chanting. The doors clammed shut behind us, and I did a double take, realizing it wasn't from a gust of wind or anything—it was Nora. She laughed softly as she felt mine and John's presences behind her, and I swallowed because I had to do this…I had to use the magic I had been trying so hard not to use over the years.

"If it isn't Alana. I wasn't expecting you to show." Nora told me.

Her voice was musical, but had a doggish quality to it and I firmly stood my ground as she stood up and turned to us. She gracefully walked toward us, smiling, her canine teeth glistening in the dim light and I wondered right then just how many different breeds there were. All the lores had very similar things in common, but for some reason there were differences in different places—almost like evolution or something.

"Don't touch her." John said, getting between us and making me look at him funny—why was he protecting me when he had said that it was _my_ fight?

"You shouldn't have brought the spectacle." Nora informed me, backhanding John so he went flying into the wall and then I understood—having someone else's life in my hands was going to make me do what I thought I couldn't do.

I narrowed my eyes at her after glancing at John to see if he was okay. "You disgust me."

She reached out to touch me, but I had already silently chanted the spell, and the force field burned her but made her smile a little as she pulled her hand away quickly. She was impressed—no doubt because the rumors about me had talked about how I had given up magic. Now here I was embracing the part of me I had tried so hard to suppress, and I was going to be an actual match for her.

Nora laughed softly. "So you decided to embrace the inner witch?"

"Why did you do it?" I asked her, wishing John would get up now, but he was knocked out cold.

Nora smiled and shrugged. "Why else? I wanted to dispose of you. You're an abomination—a mix of human and witch and werewolf and demon. Your mother thought that giving you and your little sister up was for the best but I knew—I knew who she gave you up to. Your mother thought that raised in a different kind of environment, you could become powerful enough to make a difference—a larger one than him and his sons are making now. She thought you could defeat your father, but I couldn't let that happen, so I burned your adopted parents' house down. First I used magic to bind them, and then I put the house up in flames and you were left alone, and vowing never to let your supernatural sides surface…it would have been better had you been in there too, but at the same time I've liked watching how you've suffered over the years without them."

I was crying now—it was all my fault. "You monster! Die the way you killed them!"

Nora laughed but it was soon wiped off of her face when she heard me speak the incantation and her face twisted in horror as her feet caught on fire. She began to look at me with hope in her eyes, but I wasn't going to reverse the spell and somehow she knew it. She almost seemed _pleased_ that I was so bent on my own revenge, but I couldn't see past my revenge to analyze that look.

"May your children use their magic to bring ruin." Nora told me as her entire body caught flame. "May your life be full of despair."

As her body became ashes, I felt a presence I had known had been there for a long while, and I smiled as my adopted parents appeared in front of me, smiling and almost corporeal. I had finally laid their spirits to rest and they were saying their 'goodbyes'—they were no longer going to come to me. They had been the only parents that I had ever known, and they were now officially going to be gone forever.

"You did it, Lana, my dear." Marucs said, smiling at me.

I nodded and cried a little just happy to see they were moving on, even though I knew I was never going to see them again…feel them again…talk to them again.

"Do not fret about what she said. You need to know that you're part of something far bigger—something that you won't comprehend until you're standing there in it all. Lana, you're coming up against the most powerful weapon of all—a weapon not even he will think about for a little while longer. Keep this to yourself, but find a way to eliminate Chelsea—she is at the root of the vampires holding this weapon. Once you obtain it, you will need to know how to take her out." Bethany explained. "I wish your task was done, Sweetheart…but your role in this is far from over."

I nodded as they both kissed me, their ghost lips brushing across my forehead as I tried hard to think of the perfect words to say.

"We haven't much time, Sweetheart. Thank you for releasing us. Now it is time for you to embrace your true destiny." Marcus said, he and Bethany both taking a step back. "Never lose your faith."

I nodded and swallowed the lump in my throat. "I love you both, and I won't forget you…ever."

They smiled, and then faded from view, making me stand there for a minute to assess everything that had just happened before I went over to Mr. Winchester as he stirred, and when he looked up he looked straight at the pile of dust on the floor that was Nora. I had taken her out, laid my adopted parents' souls to rest, and now even though I didn't know too much more than I'd already known, I knew that if I stayed with Sam and Dean, I was going to be a liability to them—but I was in far too deep with them now. Did that mean…did it mean the day had finally come for me to be truthful with them?

John looked from the pile of ashes to me. "You embraced your inner witch?"

"Fire spell—a bit of her own medicine." I told him and then made a face at the wound on his head. "Ow! Your head needs attention!"

John smiled as he cringed. "Yeah, she did a number on me…but it pushed you to where you needed to be."

I nodded slowly, and helped him to his feet, both of us heading to his car to get the First Aid kit out. Once he was bandaged, we put everything back in the car and then we went to the airport and waited an hour for the plane. I hadn't checked my messages, or called them back, and for now I thought that was for the best…I still didn't have _any_ idea as to what to say to them.

"Shouldn't you call them?" John asked me, noting the worry on my face.

I shrugged. "I suppose, but I have to figure out what to tell them first. All of our paths will bring us together again, and when that happens, they need to know the truth."

"Before they left they talked to you, didn't they?" John asked me. "You sounded like your adopted mother just there—Hell you sounded like your _birth_ mother just there."

"When we first met you knew me, John. _How _do you know my birth parents?" I asked him as I swallowed, not sure I actually _wanted _to know the real answer to that.

John took a deep breath. "I have actually done quite a few hunts with your birth mother, Lana—well I _had _actually. Then she explained everything to me: you, Annie, how you had to be kept safe. So I talked to Bethany and Marcus about things and they left me watch over you from afar. Demons sometimes mention the plans set in motion for you, but I truly don't know what those plans are—you're a promise I made, Lana."

I nodded slowly and smiled a little as the flight attendant said my flight was leaving, and so I hugged John tightly and then let go and got on the plane. It was another rather nice flight, and once I got off in the next airport, I took a taxi all the way to the motel, taking out my phone and turning it on to ten new voice messages and I smiled because they were all from Dean save three that were from Sam. They were worried, and they had missed me, and so I did what I should have done in the first place—I dialed Dean's number.

"Finally! Are you all right?" Dean asked when he answered his phone.

I smiled at the genuine concern in his voice. "Yeah. I'm okay. I just—I needed to take care of it myself."

"We figured, but we didn't leave." He said with a sigh. "We didn't know where you were, which wasn't very nice, nor like you, Lanni."

"I'm sorry I didn't leave any means of communication, it was just…it was something I had to do by myself." I told him with a shrug.

Dean cleared his throat so I knew Sam was in the room with him. "We were really worried—Sam especially…you know how Sam is."

"Yeah, I know—he totally loves me." I told Dean with a laugh.

Dean cleared his throat and I knew it was a sign for me to take back what I had said, but I wasn't going to—I wanted him to tell me how much he missed me. I wanted him to verbally tell me how much he wanted me, how much he loved me, and how much he had worried when I was gone. Unfortunately the words didn't come out of his mouth…he just handed the phone over to Sam and I felt like I was going to cry.

"Dean was flipping. Next time you leave _please_ tell us where you're going. I thought he was going to die." Sam told me.

I smiled sadly. "Nice to know he misses me…I'm on my way up."

"All right—I'll tell him you'll be here momentarily." Sam told me, and I thanked him and then I hung up the food and headed to the motel room, smiling when I opened the door and then smiling more when they both got up and hugged me—out of character, but I was pretty sure it was because I was pregnant.

"Never thought I'd ever say this, but you guys have to stop with the love—I need to breathe." I said with a laugh and they nodded and let go, trying to act all macho and shrugging it off before they gave me looks. "What?"

Dean crossed his arms over his chest. "You tell us—you're the one that looks kind of guilty, Lanni."

"Yeah, well…liars are kind of naturally guilty people." I told him with a sigh, setting down my duffle and taking off my jacket.

"What the Hell do you have to lie about?" Dean asked me.

I took a deep breath and sat down on the couch, pushing my bangs out of my face and realizing that I didn't even know where to start. I figured that the best place would be my powers but I didn't want to—after this I wasn't even going to use them again so why tell them that? Why did I have so many secrets from them anyway? What if I got them killed? What if I got my baby killed? I was in way over my head here…

"I fought a demon. I went out there specifically to kill Nora due to a tip I got from a reliable source, and then my parents' spirits were avenged. I know I shouldn't have gone alone and that it was dangerous but…I had to." I explained and for a second they actually thought I was kidding—and then they looked livid. "If you're gonna yell, remember that other people can hear you through the walls."

Sam was the first to speak. "How could you? You can't just run off in your condition and do things like this!"

"Sam it was _my _fight! Come on, you have to understand that!" I pleaded. "Dean, tell him I had to do it."

"I'm not going to tell him any such thing." Dean replied, and went for the motel room door. "I'm going for a walk—I'll try not to kill anything while I'm out without telling you first."

I took a deep breath and shook my head when Sam started to talk to me when Dean slammed the door shut behind him and I went to bed. I knew that I had deserved it and that this was my calm before the storm. Once I came clean, I was no longer going to be welcome so it was about time I got my affairs in order…it was about time I severed my ties with them and moved on, on my own.

xxxx

Even though Dean and I really hadn't talked for a good week and I was far too scared about having a baby to leave Dean and Sam for good, we had decided to play a game. We were bored on the car ride so we were playing the simplest game we could think of and Dean was being a jerk about it.

"Look, it's been almost thirty minutes: answer the question." Dean told me.

I sighed and looked at him. "But it's a _hard_ question."

"I find it rather easy." Sam shrugged.

"Well you weren't paying attention to the little underlying message." I explained in an exasperated voice.

Sam chuckled lightly. "Okay. What underlying message?"

"He asked 'sweet and simple', or 'heated and breathtaking'—he meant 'him' or 'you', not just what kind of sex." I explained and shot Dean a look. "And it was an evil thing to do and I shouldn't answer but I'm going to."

Dean laughed. "I didn't think you'd pick up on it, honestly."

"Well I did because I'm smarter than you." I told him and crossed my arms over my chest. "All right. So how about this? I like the sweet and simple—it's all kind and loving and you never want it to end. The heated and breathtaking is amazing while it lasts, but after that it's just a memory—the love is forever. How's _that_ answer?"

"I don't think it was entirely truthful." Dean replied with a shrug as he parked.

We were all really hungry and it was morning, so we parked outside of a place that said, 'Home Cooking', and went inside. We sat down at a nice table and ordered some good breakfast, the three of us chatting a little, but I was kind of fed up with none of us talking about what we actually _wanted_ to talk about.

"You know, I'm a little fed up with this." I said, closing my newspaper and then sighing. "I'm eating more pancakes, and then rocking out to music in the car."

"You've had four." Sam informed me with a laugh.

I gave him a look. "You're a jerk. I'm eating for two!"

"Do you _both _want to be fat?" Dean asked me, pointing to my plate with syrup remnants on it.

I reached over the table and hit him in the arm. "Goodbye to both of you!" I told him and stood up, fixing my shirt. "For the record, I'm pregnant, _not_ fat!"

"Lan! We didn't mean it like that!" Sam called after me.

"I don't care!" I called back, and then had to turn around, go back, and take the keys out of Dean's pocket, and his hand caught mine.

Dean's eyes met mine. "You owe me for this."

"Dream on." I told him, and pulled my hand away.

I took the keys, went out to the car, and then I turned on the station to some oldies rock music. I then proceeded to play my air guitar and sing out loud until the boys came and they laughed, getting into the car. It made me shrug as they looked at me and Dean changed the station.

"That was embarrassing." Dean laughed, Sam getting into the back since I was in the passenger seat for once.

I smiled at him. "Not for me."

"We're going to Manning, Colorado." Sam informed me.

I nodded slowly. "All right. Did you at least—thanks."

I took my latte from Dean and smiled—I loved him for remembering me like that, but I was pretty close to yelling at him. Mostly I was keeping all of it bottled up inside of me, and we drove all the way to a man by the name of Elkins' house. He had been mauled, and it was obvious that there was serious handiwork involved in this one. Vampires—but not the kind I was used to—and it was then, right after Sam found the salt that I smiled.

"Can you guys wait a moment?" I asked them.

Sam turned to me and gave me a look. "What?"

"I just—I need to go out there and like—go to the car." I told them lamely.

Before they could protest, I went outside and then I smiled and looked to see the presence I had sensed—John Winchester. He had been trying to get by unnoticed, but I was learning more and more from my pregnancy that I was hypser-sensitive. So, I ran to him and hugged him, him hugging me back but sighing a bit.

"You know, someday you're going to get someone killed." He smiled, and tugged on my hair playfully like a father does sometimes.

I smiled too and let go, sticking my hands in my pockets. "I kind of just wanted to see you. You're the only one around here that actually talks to me like I'm not glass—like even though you know what's going on, you want me to be included.

"Well hello to you too, then, Lana." John replied.

"Hi." I said with a smile and small wave, and then I pointed in the direction of the boys. "I should probably go back before they see you. We covered our tracks well, and they probably found something—I'm having those stupid senses and the blood was too much anyway—then I knew you were here, and had to welcome you."

He nodded to me. "All right. Just follow them—if I need to, I'll show myself."

I nodded, hugged him one last time, and then I went back to Sam and Dean who had found a clue—a post box. When we got to the office, there was a letter in the box. We took it out to the car and looked at the initials on it: J.W. How hard was it to figure _that_ one out?

"It's for your father." I said out loud as they stared at it.

"Are you sure? Are we really sure?" Sam asked me.

I sighed loudly. "Look, you know I have senses, honey. It's for your father. Read it. Memorize. Eat it. Besides, even an idiot knows that John Winchester is kind of J.W."

"Why are you hostile today?" Dean asked me suddenly.

"I don't know maybe I'm pregnant and no one wants to talk about it. My ankles are sore, I'm bloated, I pee a lot, I have a headache, and an unattentive boyfriend. Yeah…I think that's pretty much all of it." I told them and laughed a little when there was suddenly a face at the window and the boys jumped as he opened up the back door to sit with me. "Hey, John."

John chuckled. "Long time no see."

"Yeah. I expected you like an hour ago." I told him with a smile.

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Wait. You two—what?"

"I heard about Daniel and came to check it out." He told them. "I'm all right."

"I saw him when he saw us at the house earlier." I told them, shrugging. "We're good buddies."

"Apparently." Dean said slowly.

He was pretty upset with me and Sam and John could feel the tension between us and part of me felt bad about it. I felt like I had every right to be mad that Dean kept ignoring everything and wouldn't open up to me when I'd given him everything—and the other part of me felt so hypocritical because I _hadn't_ let _him_ all the way in either…I had walls up. He was in my heart…I just hadn't been entirely truthful and for us to actually have a functioning relationship that was going to survive, I needed to be honest with him.

"Why didn't you come in?" Sam asked his father.

Dean nodded slowly. "So that's why you went out."

"I was making sure you guys weren't followed by anyone or anything—nice job of covering your tracks by the way. Lana here though—you should control her better." John told them as he smiled.

I smiled too. "Yeah they should, but too bad they can't. So—that's yours, isn't it?"

"Yes. Well…he taught me a lot about hunting, but we had a falling out. I hadn't seen him in years. Let me look at that." John told them.

He opened it and started to read it, and then he decided that we had to go because the man had had it all along—a cult revolver. The three of us were confused, but we decided that we were going to listen to him—and Sam was going to drive. We were supposed to find this gun and Sam wasn't happy we didn't have the whole story. John thought they were extinct, but they weren't—we'd encountered the easy ones—these ones weren't scared by holy water, crosses, could walk in sunlight, and could only die by beheading—not even by a stake in the heart. This was going to be hard.

So we went to the motel we had been at earlier when we had come to Elkins' house, and we decided to go to sleep. It was going to be a little hard because there were four of us and two beds, and there was no way John was sleeping with either of his sons. That meant one of them was getting the couch, and part of me wished it was Dean.

"You know, I think this whole two bed thing is how I got my grandkid conceived in the first place." John said aloud with a chuckle.

I blushed. "Yeah…that and Dean's inability to keep his hands to himself."

"Oh, I'm not the _only_ one of us that initiates—" Dean began.

"—oh shut-up. Your dad needs a place to sleep." I told him, cutting him off and awkwardly tucking hair behind my ears. "You can have mine and Dean's bed. I can take the couch and he can sleep on the floor."

Sam shook his head. "No—you're sleeping in a bed, Lanni. Dad can have my bed and I'll take the couch."

"Thanks boys, but _I'll_ take the couch. You know you have manners suddenly—impressing a certain someone?" John asked them, looking back and forth between Sam and Dean.

"Okay, Papa Winchester's turn to shut-up." I told him with a laugh. "Things were easier when I wasn't dating either of them and they had to thumb wrestle for me—loser got me of course."

"When we were in a fight once, Sam and I did 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' and I got her—I swear I got kicked only because in my dream she was working me over." Dean told his father, who laughed.

After a couple more 'funny' stories about the three of us, we all got ready for bed and I got into the motel with Dean, surprised when he wrapped his arms around me. He kissed my neck softly and nuzzled my hair with his nose which brought tears to my eyes. I turned over and kissed him, pressing my body as close to him as I could. What I really wanted was for him to just tell me how he felt—to care and share without me pushing him to do that.

"I love you." I whispered, nipping at his jaw line a little. "I love you and I'm still mad at you, but for some reason I need you."

Dean nodded, kissing me and stroking my hair. "I hate when you stop speaking to me. For some reason I miss that nagging voice of yours."

"Well aren't _you_ romantic?" I told him with a small laugh as I rolled my eyes.

"I need you safe, can you do that for me?" Dean asked me softly.

I paused but I nodded slowly, kissing him again and nodding into it, then pulling my lips away and curling up with him. It was nice to fall asleep in his arms, even if we were woken up by John. My head was on Dean's chest and he wiped his eyes from being jostled, John talking about a couple who had phoned in about a body that the cops found missing. He was certain it was vampires and when Sam questioned him, John told us to just follow and headed out of the motel room, which left Sam, Dean and I to get up and to so just what he said—to follow him.

"Where'd my jacket go?" I asked, looking around as John went out the door and

Dean started putting his shoes on.

"Here." Dean said as Sam followed his father.

I looked at him and sighed. "You'd think I'd remember where I put it. Where the Hell are—there's _one_ sock."

"You must have taken them off in your sleep." He told me with a chuckle.

I nodded at him. "I do, do that occasionally."

"Only when you're troubled." He smiled and brushed something off of my face when I looked up at him.

"Eye crusties." He told me.

I made a face. "Ew! Now I _know_ I look terrible!"

I started going to the door and Dean took my hand and it stopped me. He pulled me back around to face him and leaned his face in close to mine, breathing on me. If we hadn't needed to get our asses out to protect some innocents, I would have dragged him down on the bed then and there. Well…also if I didn't feel like I looked like shit.

"Ew." I repeated to him softly, my heart beating a little faster as Dean's beautiful hazel eyes held me in place.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "'Ew' that you have eye crusties? Everyone has them."

"No. 'Ew' that you had to touch them and that I look terrible." I told him.

I looked at him sadly with a little pout, holding my breath a moment as he leaned in farther, keeping the eye contact but closing the distance between our lips without touching mine with his yet. He was driving me crazy and he knew it—he knew as annoyed as I was with him when he did this, it seriously turned me on.

He smiled at me. "You're beautiful—don't let anyone tell you any differently. I know sometimes you wonder because of where my attention is turned, but you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever met, and that's the truth…I love you."

Then, he did something I _also _wasn't expecting—he kissed me as someone came in the door, and our lips parted and we smiled at each other before looking up. Part of me hadn't wanted to give the moment up, but he'd said it first with absolutely no pressure from me and I believed it: Dean Winchester loved me. Dean Winchester was willing to _admit_ that he loved me, and that was more than I could ever wish for.

"We need to go." John informed us, a small smile on his face.

"Right." I told him, heading for the door.

"Lan—jacket." Dean said, handing it out to me.

I turned around smiling and took it from him. "Right."

I headed out the door, Dean behind me, and when we got to the site, we were supposed to stay put, and Sam was getting agitated and hostile. He and his father fought a little when he came back, but we were going to follow him. All the tension Dean and I had been contributing was dissipating…but John's tension with Sam and Dean just seemed to keep mounting and mounting with everything that we did.

"Dean, touch up your car. I wouldn't have given it to you if I had known you were going to ruin it." John said as he went towards his car.

Sam and I smiled a little and almost mocked him with laughter, but the stern look on his face and his determination to get into the car made us shut up, and I got into the back while Sam drove. He and Dean started arguing about their father and I sighed because I was no stranger to this familiar disputing…but it was stressing me out and Dean and Sam were already upset I was with them in potential danger. Sam felt they were being treated like children, and Dean felt they should follow their father, and I felt like I had already done a lot of hunting while pregnant, so why not another hunt?

"You seem a little tense." I told Sam.

"Don't talk to him while he's driving." Dean shot at me.

I felt snapped at and sat back in the seat. "Sorry. I'll stop talking."

"I can't believe you—what haven't you told us?" Sam asked me angrily.

I took a breath. "Wait, now _I'm_ the victim of a fight? I've been nothing but supportive of all of you and I don't think you have any reason to be mad at me right now."

"Well you _do_ kind of talk to him like you have a secret." Sam informed me and I nodded slowly because it was only a matter of time, I supposed.

"That's because we do." I told them slowly.

Dean turned to look at me. "What?"

I sighed loudly. "Look, my source was your father. He knew where Nora was, and he told me and I went to fight her."

"Our father sent you after a werewolf by yourself? _Pregnant_?" Dean asked me sternly.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"Then he goes and gets Lana to put herself and her unborn child in danger and she blindly follows him too!" Sam shouted.

"Sam! Not only am I _right here_ but I _chose_ to go! I'm my own person and I wouldn't have gone except that it meant letting my parents move on! Their spirits have been tied down to this earth for years, and I _had_ to let them move on! They deserved to go to the afterlife and be at peace! Why don't either of you understand that Nora was _my_ fight?" I yelled back. "_Mine_! She wasn't yours, and it wasn't you place to weasel your way into something when you have no right to weasel yourself there!"

Dean's cell phone ringing made us all stop talking, and then Dean told Sam that we needed to pull onto the next exit, but without an explanation, Sam lost it, floored the car, and pulled us all over and got out of the car to argue with his father. Dean and I got out of the car too and we were ready to get in between them if we had to, because both John and Sam looked pissed and this wasn't going to end well, I was sure of it.

"We need to talk." Sam told his father firmly.

"About what?" John asked, coming towards us.

Sam waved his arms around a little. "About everything."

Dean had to step in between them because Sam and his father hadn't resolved their past and things were getting unsettling. I didn't have anything to add, and Sam was done blinding following his father, and his father wasn't ready to talk about it. They got into another big fight just when I thought it was over about Sam leaving in the first place, and I got back into the car because it wasn't my place to be in their fight.

"Stop it! Stop it! That's enough!" Dean said, pushing them apart.

Sam and his father parted and we went to our own cars, and then we continued. We watched as we had found the lair, and their father thought it best we all go in and find the gun and leave. It wasn't exactly the _best_ plan, and I was still pregnant, but I sure as Hell wasn't letting them go in by themselves, and I sure as Hell wasn't glass.

"But there are four of us and then 8-10 of them—that's suicidal. I don't know if I can take two of them on by myself." I told him.

"That's all right—we just have to be quiet." John said and then leaned in to whisper, "And if things get rough, you have powers."

I nodded slowly. "Fine."

Then John told us about the colt and how they forged the gun to kill anything—there were only 13 bullets, and the gun was forged in 1935—the night people died at the Alamo. Somehow Daniel got his hands on it, and now we needed it because it was going to kill the demon that had killed Mary…Sam and Dean's mother. That was what had started it all, and John wanted the gun to avenge his wife's death.

"Kill anything, like supernatural anything?" Dean asked him.

"Like the demon?" Sam added.

John nodded at them. "Yeah. Like the demon."

"I guess I'm in then." I told them, grabbing a sword. "How come I never knew we had a pretty one?"

Dean smiled. "That's my girl, but, Lanni, I think you should stay put."

"Baby I'm in this with you, and I can't let you go to your deaths without me." I replied as he stroked my hair. "So what are we waiting for?"

After a face from Dean and a small nod, we went in and tried to be as quiet as possible, but Sam tried to rescue a girl that was beyond rescuing—one that had been turned. She screamed, and it woke them all up, and we had to run. We lost John at first when we were out, and panicked—we couldn't lost him to damn vampires.

"Dad? DAD?" Sam and Dean called.

"John? Uncle Joe? Dad?" I tried with a swallow.

Sam and Dean looked at me and Dean was upset. "Uncle Joe?"

"Forgot that. He came up with the alibi." I said as I blushed a little.

Sam sighed and Dean looked a little mad too, but before they could say anything, John came towards us. Thank God he was alive and kicking because I certainly didn't want to lose him already. He was part of this somewhat broken family I had become a part of and I desperately needed us to be as patched together as we could be.

"They won't come now—they'll wait until dark. Once a vampire has your scent, they have it for life." John explained to us.

I sighed loudly. "That sounds super awesome. What do we do now?"

"We get to the nearest funeral home, that's what." John said softly.

Dean and I ended up going to the funeral home just the two of us because we needed some time together. John was rather perceptive and though we were after blood because dead man's blood is like poison to vampires apparently, it was giving us some time to talk. Honestly though, do you think that Dean and I were going to talk about anything _truly_ important?

"Weird how there's different kinds." Dean said in our silence.

I shrugged a little. "Well look at humans—there are Caucasians and Mexicans and Chinese and Japanese—the point: we all have different races as it were, who are susceptible to different things."

"Good point." Dean told me with a slow nod.

I nodded at him and took a breath. "So where are we?"

Dean turned to me after getting the blood and we walked out to the car as he assessed the question. He knew what I meant by it, but at the same time he wasn't exactly sure what it was that I wanted from him. All I wanted was for him to answer truthfully, and he knew it, but deep down he wanted to make me happy and I liked that.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked me as he got to the car.

"It's just—where are we?" I asked him. "Where are you? Where am I? What are we going to do? Not the time to discuss right now, but…what are we going to do?"

Dean nodded at me. "Yeah. It's obviously complicated."

"Not really. We're only making it complicated." I said and then decided to change the subject because obviously this wasn't going to happen here. "You going to be bait?"

"Yeah." Dean told me, starting up the car.

I sighed and look at him from the passenger seat. "Be careful please?"

"Of course." Dean replied, and smiled at me.

I nodded and sat back as he drove us back to the motel, handing the blood to John, and then he told us that we knew what to do. We went and Dean pretended he was fixing his car, and one of the vampire females came up to him as the rest of us watched from our perches and I made a face.

"You need a ride? We could go back to my place." She told him.

Dean smiled a little and shook his head. "I don't think so. I draw the line at Necrophilia."

She slapped him, and then she picked him up, and kissed him, and I cringed—remind him about the showering and the brushing teeth and the mouthwash thing—only double this time. We shot her and the guy she was with, with arrows, and then came to the scene, her fainting and Dean picking her up because of the dead man's blood, and then John beheaded the male vampire and I felt a little hot and bothered. I'm not gonna lie—the way John did it was _incredibly_ hot.

"Burn these." John told Dean. "It will block our scent and hers until we're ready."

"This stuff stinks." Dean said, going over to the fire and burning what his father had given him.

John chuckled a little. "That's the idea."

"You sure they'll come for her?" Sam asked him.

John nodded to him. "When vampires mate, they mate for life—she's more important to the leader than anything. The blood sickness will wear off though, so we don't have much time. I want you guys to do what you need to do and then get out of here as fast as you can."

"Wait, Dad, you can't take them all out by yourself." Dean said suddenly and I nodded, standing next to him and crossing my arms over my chest.

"Look, that's an order." John told them. "And you listen too." He told me.

I swallowed. "Come on, this is a bogus plan and I'm not exactly your daughter so since when do _I_ have to listen?"

"But after that we'll meet up, right? Use the gun together?" Sam asked, and his father looked very much as if the plan was to do it alone. "You're leaving again aren't you? You're still want to fight the demon alone. I don't get you. You can't treat us like this."

"Like what?" John asked him.

Sam looked at him firmly. "Like children."

"You _are_ my children. I'm trying to keep you safe." John replied.

"Dad, all due respect, but that's crap." Dean said and I did a double-take.

John did too. "Excuse me?"

Normally Dean didn't stand up to his father, and watching how loyal Dean was to him, and how rebellious Sam was with him this last little bit I was stunned. Suddenly Dean had a backbone where his father was concerned and it was attractive—he was trying to protect the only family he really had left, and John was being ridiculous.

"You know what Sammy and I have been hunting—you even sent us on a few hunts yourself. You can't be that worried about keeping us safe. Plus, you sent Lanni alone to fight the big bad that killed her parents and she's pregnant…I mean she's _pregnant_ with _your_ grandkid." Dean explained to him.

John gave him a look. "That's not the same thing, Dean, and Lana is special—she was the only one who could fight Nora."

"And that is a different story for another time." I told them. "The thing we're trying to point out here is that in order to survive this, we have to do this together."

Dean nodded. "She's right. So…what is it, Dad? Why do you want us out of the big fight?"

"This demon is a bad son of a bitch. I can't make the same moves and worry about keeping you alive." John explained, and I knew he was trying to keep them safe, but this was their fight too…and he was their father.

"We won't make a ruckus." Dean told him with a shrug.

John smiled sadly. "I'm not planning on making it out of this alive. Your mother's gone, and I can't risk losing you two, too."

"What happens if you die? What happens if you die and we couldn't save you? You know, I think Sammy's right: we should do this together. We're stronger as a family Dad, and you know it, we just are. With Lanni, we're even stronger—we can do this if we do it together." Dean told him, touched by his father's admittance, but not willing to show it.

"We're running out of time. You do your job and you get out of the area. That's an order." John said, and then he walked off leaving Sam and Dean angry.

I nodded slowly and looked at the boys. "Let's just do this, please."

We went to the vampires' nest, and had to take out the vampires and rescue the people in the cage. That was pretty easy in itself and then we all looked at each other and I spoke up because this was killing me. We had to save John, and we had to do it whether he wanted us to help or not—he was part of the family and we couldn't have his death on our hands.

"We have to go and save him." I said, fixing my jacket as we left the nest.

Dean looked at me. "What?"

"You both want to _not_ follow his order, so don't. You have a reason now—I have bad feelings that he'll die without us. Now move." I told them, heading out the door.

"Besides, I can be your loophole. I want to save him, I don't have to follow his orders and you two have to protect me."

They followed, and we ran through the woods, me handing Dean the crossbow so he could shoot vampires, and then Sam and I took the swords. Dean shot one of the vampires after we saw their father going down, and then Sam and I ran towards them, having to be close to cut off their heads. Sam got knocked down, and then the head vampire grabbed him and started to choke him as Dean and I ran towards him, and Dean picked up his dropped weapon and I rose my own.

"Come any closer and I'll break his neck." The vampire told us. "Put the blade down."

"Do it. Do it." Sam choked out.

Dean and I nodded, and the sword clattered on the street, and then Dean put the blade down. I didn't want to do it because now I felt like we were completely unarmed, but I didn't want Sam to die—he meant far too much to me.

The vampire looked at us. "Why can't you just leave us alone? We have as much right to live as you do."

"I don't think so." John said, and the vampire whirled around and was shot in the face with the cult gun we had been after.

The vampire fell to the ground slowly, but it was obvious that this gun was something else. He let Sam go, and I held onto him, and the female vampire was pissed that we could do something like that. And me? Alana Meckenzie? I was once _again_ hot and bothered by the hotness by Papa Winchester…great.

"Luther!" The female vampire cried out.

She was going to come and get us, but the other female made her get in the car, and they left. Why we just let them go, I didn't understand, but at the same time we had to make sure that Sam was all right. We looked at John and we all knew this fight was not anywhere near as hard as the one to come and after helping Sam, we went back to the motel and started to pack, and I sighed and sat on the bed when I was done—I'm a speedy packer.

"What is it?" Dean asked me.

"I just—they'll be back. They have our scent for life." I reminded them.

Dean looked at me. "Let's not dwell on that. We'll deal with that when the time comes again—_if _it comes again."

"What's _really_ on your mind?" Sam asked me slowly.

"I made you guys ignore a direct order." I told them softly. "He'll be mad at me."

Sam and Dean smiled and kept packing and I smiled a little too because there was an unspoken agreement that I was part of the family—that John would only be angry because he cared so much. That thought made me feel pretty pleasant about it all, and at the same time I was a little worried about all of my feelings for the Winchester Men. I loved Dean—I loved him with everything that I had…but they were all rather…oh God…was I _really_ the Winchester whore?

"You didn't make us—you just gave us a better incentive too." Sam told me and smiled at me.

We all looked up as their father came into the room and I smiled a little and crossed my legs as he put his hands in his pockets. He was going to talk to us about our disobedience, and I was actually ready to be reprimand…you can turn that into a dirty joke if you want to…I certainly am doing that in my head.

"So boys…" Their father began.

"Yes, sir?" Sam and Dean asked, going a little closer to him as I stayed on the bed.

John nodded at us. "You ignored a direct order back there."

"Yeah, but we saved your ass." Dean said, but he looked as if he would be punished under that strong façade of his.

"You're right." John told him with a nod.

Dean did a double-take, rather confused. "I am?"

Their father nodded at him. "It scares the Hell out of me. You're all I've got, but I guess we _are_ stronger as a family. So, we go after this thing…together."

"Yes sir." Sam and Dean said, and then they smiled.

"And you." He told me, making Sam and Dean part a little so I could be seen on the bed from the door.

I smiled my smile at him and beamed up innocently. "Yes?"

"You encouraged them, didn't you?" John asked me with a stern look that threatened a full-out smile.

I shrugged playfully. "Maybe a little bit."

"Thank you for that. It's nice to know you have our backs." John told me. "I think Dean was spot on when he said you were part of this family."

"Of course I have your backs." I said with a smile. "I love all three of you very much."

John nodded at me and then he went to go pack some of his own things, and then when Sam and Dean were done, we had to take the things out to the car, but I sensed Dean had something to tell me, and Sam taking their bags out pretty much let me know that he did. I put my hands on my hips nonchalantly and smiled at him as he came up to me and then placed his hands on mine.

"What?" I asked him.

Dean stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. "Vampires mate for life."

"They do." I nodded to him.

"So how come they have to be all respectable in that manner?" Dean asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't know—it kind of makes me feel like maybe humans have something wrong with them."

"Maybe." Dean agreed with a shrug. "So for the record, I've brushed my teeth, showered, and used mouthwash since that vampire kissed me…"

I smiled at him. "Oh, did you now?"

"Oh I definitely did." Dean told me, leaning in.

I kissed him softly and then smiled when he deepened it on me, cradling me in my arms and smiling at me when he pulled away and I grunted in protest, my eyes still closed. He brushed his lips against mine but evaded the kissing and I pushed on his chest as he chuckled at how badly I just wanted to kiss him.

"You're a tease, damn-it." I said, sighing. "Is it too much for you to push tongue even just for a second?"

Dean chuckled. "How romantic, Baby."

"I just—" I took a deep breath and pulled out my phone to see the text and looked back up at Dean. "Jen needs me to call her asap…can we talk soon, please?"

"Of course we can, Baby." Dean told me, and then headed for the door. "Come out to the car when you're done."

**Note: Okay hope you liked that 23 page chapter. The next chapter leads up to some drama, and some sadness—you're warned now. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	18. When All You Love is Taken

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay so this is up sooner than it was going to be and is short, and has a huge cliffy.**

**Standard warnings apply: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

I kissed Dean's neck softly and smiled at him as we poured over some of John's things. Dean and I were sitting on the bed in the motel room and my legs were over his, both of us cuddled together. We had been trying to be as close to each other as possible and it was easy, and yet at the same time I was being distracted when we were _supposed_ to be focusing on John and on what John knew.

He had been through a lot and knew a lot about what we were going up against. I was pouring through his papers with great interest while he talked to Sam and Dean about the trail he had picked up a year ago, causing him to take off and Sam and Dean to reunite, and then about the demon. We found out it went after families—families with infants that were _exactly_ six months old.

"That why it came for me? So what happened to mom and Jessica is because of me?" Sam asked him.

Dean got up when I moved my legs for him. "For the last time, Sam, it's not your fault!"

"No it's _not_ my fault, but it's my problem!" Sam shouted at him.

"No, it's not your problem, it's _our_ problem!" Dean shouted back.

John stood up as I looked up and I wished that there was something that I could do about all of it. Sam, Dean and John were my family, and I wanted Sam not to pin all of this guilt on himself because this wasn't _his_ fault. A demon had come into his life when he was really little and had ruined all of this and it wasn't Sam's fault—I just wished I could explain that to him.

"All right, that's enough." John told Sam and Dean.

"So these heat fluctuations and everything—where are the signs now?" I asked, trying hard to change the subject.

John gave me a small smile. "Salvation, Iowa."

I nodded and opted to get into John's car, and he accepted because he knew how I felt and he knew I was trying here. Sam and Dean needed to talk to each other, and I didn't want John to be alone. So I sat in the passenger seat of his truck and I bit my nail, glancing at him as he drove and occasionally looked at me too.

"You okay, Lana?" John asked me calmly.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah, I think so—I'll be fine."

He nodded at me. "You know what you're going to do now?"

"No…no, I don't. I mean I need to be here for them but I can't tell them, John. I can't tell them about my powers, and about _how _I killed Nora, and I just…Dean said no more secrets and I have _so _many secrets!" I told him, taking a deep breath.

John glanced at me. "What's stopping you from telling them? I think they've proven that they trust you—that you're part of the family."

"I _know _that they care about me!" I exclaimed and put my head in my hands. "It's just that Dean never really tells me what he feels. He's getting there, and I'll wait for him forever, but what if in all this waiting he realizes that he can do better—realizes that I can't possibly be the one for him? I mean I'm _lying _to him! I can't come clean about my true parentage, or about my powers and do you know how he's going to take this? I mean my baby is going to inherit my genes! I think…I think Dean knows that he can live without me and that's why he holds off on every emotional thing."

John paused a moment and then shook his head as I nodded. "I think Dean knows he _can't_ live without you, and that's why he pushes you away, Lana. He's going to stand by you no matter how angry he is at you for keeping so much from him. Just…trust him, and try not to condemn him for things he hasn't done yet. I know its daunting but trust me, Lana—that boy of mine is in love with you."

I turned to him and smiled. "I really hope that's the case."

John smiled too, and then his phone rang, and he got very grave as he chatted and I checked my text messages and sighed loudly. Turns out that Jen and Kevin had gotten into a fight and he had a flesh-eating bacteria for a while. He was fine now, but I was worried about them and hadn't seen them in a while, which was killing me, and then John pulled over and I swallowed as I felt the pain coming off of John in waves that he didn't show on his face…like Dean…and the boys followed us.

"I just got a call from Caleb—Jim Murphy's dead." John told them after getting out of the car.

"Pastor Jim?" Sam asked him. "How?"

John looked at him. "His throat was slashed."

We found out there were traces of sulfur, meaning a demon had found him, and it was time for us to act like every seconded counted and split up—going to the hospitals and looking for every certificate of birth to pinpoint which infants would turn six months next week—it would take awhile. In fact it was going to be a pretty daunting task, but I was willing to do it if it meant that I could help. Besides, the sooner we got this over with, the sooner I could do what I needed to do…what I _wanted_ to do.

"Dad?" Dean asked him.

John nodded slowly. "Yeah. You know, it's Jim—I can't—this ends now. I'm ending it. I don't care what it takes."

Then he got in the car and I went to his window, wishing there was more I could do and more I could say, but I didn't have anything. There was little I could say to make it better, and I knew John needed some time to himself and I knew that I needed to talk to Sam and Dean. What if this was it? What if this was the end for us?

"You want some space? I'll go with the boys." I told him, resting my hand on his arm.

He smiled at me a little. "All right."

I went to Sam and Dean's car and I shrugged when they gave me looks. "He needs space. Mind if I hop in the back?"

"Not at all." Sam said, but Dean seemed mad at me and I was going to let it go.

We drove to the hospital and Sam and I went into the Salvation Iowa Medical Center and Dean took off, and then when we were done getting our information, Sam began to look hurt—he was having a vision. I reached out and put my arm on his shoulder, taking a deep breath and rubbing it as he cringed.

"Sam? Are you all right?" I asked him.

Sam nodded at me. "It just hurts."

He pulled out a map and looked for a train and I just nodded, knowing he was onto something. Then we ran to the train tracks and he kept having vision spurts as we looked around to find the house from it—and we found it, running to talk to the woman from his vision. He was going to be a hero, and I was going to help him with that no matter what.

"Here, let me help you." Sam told her, offering to help her carry things as she tried to balance the baby carriage too.

We made small talk and found out that Monica's daughter, Rosie turned six months—today. This was bad…this was _very_ bad. What was happening here? Could the demon really be here? Could he really be right within our grasp?

"Sam? What do we do now?" I asked him as we started to head back.

He couldn't answer because he was having visions and I swallowed. I rubbed his back and he began to calm down, but he was still in pain. I kissed his check softly and ran my fingers through his hair before we went back to the motel and Dean and John sat on the bed while Sam sat in a chair rubbing his temples and explaining. I ran my fingers through his hair as he spoke.

"A vision?" John asked skeptically.

Sam nodded at him. "Yeah. I saw the demon burning a woman on the ceiling."

As they began to fight about the visions and not calling and everything, I got up and left the room. I sat down and I began to realize that I didn't really belong with them—this was their fight…it wasn't mine. What I really needed to do was find my mother…what I really needed to do was to find out what was going on with me and to figure out if I could really put Dean through all of this. I just…I needed to get away…

I ran down the street and I went to a nearby park and I sat on the bench and I started to cry a little. I loved Dean, and I loved our baby, but I was pretty certain that no matter what I did, I was never going to be able to do this. It wasn't that I didn't think that Dean would understand…it was that I felt so terrible about everything that I had put him through. Sometimes I felt at home and safe—no I _always_ felt at home and safe with them—but I just didn't deserve them.

"Hello?" I asked, picking up my phone when it rang.

"Lanni, are you all right?" Dean asked me.

I shook my head. "Not really. I need to be alone for a little bit, all right?"

"Where are you so we can talk?" He asked again.

I shook my head again. "You need to see your father off and get the gun. Please don't worry about me."

There was silence for a moment but then he replied, "I'm going to call you back soon, all right?"

I nodded and smiled sadly. "Okay."

I hung up the phone and I looked at it for a moment and then I called Jen because honestly she was the only one I could think of to talk to. She could understand the keeping secrets, and part of me knew that she would talk me into telling Dean. I was just scared, and I wanted Dean to stay with me no matter what, but my secrets were far too daunting, and the second I came clean, I could kiss him 'goodbye'…maybe it would be easier if _I_ was just the one to leave…

"Lan, what's up?" Jen asked me when she answered the phone.

I took a breath. "Jen, I'm lost."

"Honey, you sound like you've been crying! What's wrong?" She asked suddenly.

"I'm pregnant, I'm lying to my boyfriend, and I can't come clean. I'm too afraid, Jenny. I can't do this. I can't tell him about my heritage—about my parents, about my powers. He's scared enough about this baby…I can't scare him about it more." I explained to her. "It would just be better if I left him and let him move on with his life to someone better out there that actually deserved him."

"Take deep breaths, Lan. Take deep breaths. Look, even though you and I have always been close, Sam and Dean are your family. You connect with them much more than anyone else—besides me, of course. You guys have your downfalls, but you can't quit when it gets tough. You have to talk to them—have a heart to heart." Jen told me. "Dean is going to be pissed but you knew that. You knew that and you still entered into this."

I nodded slowly and smiled a little. "Yeah…hey, I would talk more and take in your wisdom, but I need to meet them—the big fight is just moments away."

"All right. I understand. I love you." Jen said truthfully.

"I love you too." I told her with a smile. "Bye."

I hung up, put the phone in my pocket, and took off for Monica's house. I saw their car and I took deep breaths before I got into the back seat of the car, and they both turned to me. This was a moment I had to take and even though they could tell I had cried, I was talking before they could.

I forced a smile. "Well look at this."

"Hey, Lan." Sam told me.

"Hey, you mind if I steal your brother for a moment?" I asked him.

Sam shook his head. "Of course not."

I got out of the car, and Dean followed, and we went to a clearing across the way so no one suspected that we were doing anything wrong. He stepped up close to me because he knew I was having a rough time and he wanted to make it better, but he couldn't. I was stubborn, and I had made up my mind and we were going to talk just in case some time we couldn't talk about it anymore.

"We need to talk about things." I told him, sticking my hands in my pockets.

"Yeah we do." Dean said, nodding and putting his hands on my hips, bringing my body closer to his.

I took a deep breath and looked at him, but I couldn't find the words to say, so I stepped up closer to him and kissed him softly. Dean nodded a little and licked my bottom lip a little and I opened my mouth for his tongue, wrapping my arms around his neck. He cupped my face with his hand and tried to bring me even closer to him, but then I pulled away and he opened his eyes.

"What was that for?" Dean asked me.

"I may not be around for much longer." I told him truthfully, feeling my voice crack.

Dean sighed loudly. "You're not going to die tonight, Lanni."

"Not that—I mean after this, I'm leaving. I'm going back to Kansas." I said and I regretted it the moment that I said it, but I didn't deserve him.

Dean looked at me for a moment with hurt in his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I mean after this I'm going. I don't belong here with you and Sam and your dad. You guys are my family, but I'm just another liability and I mean I'm pregnant and on top of that I'm hormonal. Look at how this demon unraveled you and Sam. Look at—look at the demon I had to kill." I said, but I stopped talking because it hurt me so much that I was keeping such important things from him.

"What happened with that?" Dean asked me slowly. "I mean you don't want to talk about it, but you keep bringing it up."

I looked at the ground and then into his eyes. "Because I'm a freak, Dean. My mother? She was a witch and not the sell your soul to the devil kind—the kind that has actual powers. My mother gave those powers to me, and I'm going to give them to our baby. How did I defeat Nora? I had to use my powers. I was faced with her, she hurt your father, I talked to her and she told me how much she hated me and how she needed me dead, and then I had to use incantations and I felt it rip me apart inside. I killed Nora, and talked to my parents' spirits who told me about Chelsea, whom I have to kill, and I realized I have darkness in me. I don't belong with you because in the long run, I'm going to hurt you…Baby, you're a hero and I can't be your downfall."

Dean pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me. "Lanni, if you try, you can make this your home. Together we can have a home."

I nodded into him and cried. "How can you keep me around after knowing all of this? I mean I'm something that you should be hunting right now and you know it. I lied to you all this time, and I can't be the thing that distracts you and gets you killed."

"Baby, I'm freaked, but you taking off is _not_ the answer." Dean told me.

I just bit my lip and nodded slowly, and then we pulled away and he wiped away my tears. He kissed me tenderly and I knew that he was trying to get me to change my mind and I just needed to think because I felt like I was going to get him killed. Was this how Dean felt all the time? Was this why he hadn't pursued me in the first place? Why did I force myself on him?

"Go to Sam. I'll be there in a moment." I told him when he pulled away and ran his nose along mine.

Dean nodded, and then after a moment or two I began to walk back to the car and I got in, noting the looks on their faces. This could be our last night on Earth if things didn't go well with the demon, and I was freaking out. I just wanted them to know how much they meant to me, and this was as good a time as any.

"Obviously someone's been having a heart to heart." I told them, smiling at how patched up they seemed.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked me.

I nodded at him and smiled genuinely. "I'll be fine, I just…I want you two to know that I love you guys."

"Not again. Look, no one is going to die tonight except the demon." Dean said with a sigh. "So don't do this."

I smiled a little. "But I still love you."

Dean turned slowly. "I love you too."

"I love you too, Lan." Sam told me with a nod.

I smiled and then Dean tried calling his dad but there was no answer, and then the electric disturbances happened and there was a bit of a freak out. John was missing, the demon was on its way, and this was it. This was big, and I wasn't sure I could let them do this alone, but that would mean that I would be endangering the baby…again…

"It's coming." Sam said aloud.

We ran in the house to try and save Monica and her baby and the husband attacked us, and so we had to go and look for the demon upstairs, and save the baby from a fiery doom. It seemed easy enough, but the bullet just wasn't going to cut it because when the shot was fired, the demon just stood there like it was nothing and that didn't sit well in my stomach…neither did the way the demon was looking at me…

We all thankfully made it out of the house alive, and Monica thanked us, but the demon was still alive and though Sam wanted to go inside, Dean and I wouldn't let him—this was bad. The Colt didn't work, and there was something going on with the demon that seemed so familiar to me. This was definitely not going to end well and I wasn't certain what I was going to do now.

We tried to call John again, but it wasn't working. I sat hugging my knees to me and then Dean said something Sam didn't want to hear, and Sam grabbed his shirt and threw him up against the wall. Dean explained Sam and Dad were the only things helping him to keep it together, and he couldn't live without them. It made me think about my family, and I couldn't take it anymore. I got off of the bed and was going for the door when Sam let go of him, and Dean tried calling again—Dean's voice caught me.

"Where is he?" Dean asked aloud.

I turned to Dean and I looked at him, and knew right then and there that Meg had their father and they needed me more than ever. Dean hung up the phone and looked at Sam and I and I knew that I couldn't let them do this alone. Confused or not, I was certain that they were my family and I needed to be there for them.

"They've got Dad." Dean told us and started to freak out and he and Sam looked worse off than ever before.

"What are you doing, Dean?" Sam asked him.

Dean looked at him. "We have to go."

He and Sam began to talk as I grabbed my things, and then we all got into the car and we were all pissed off—tensions were high. While they were arguing, I was desperately trying to call Jen and getting no answer. I made an angry noise as Dean said we needed help, and we drove until we got to a man named Bobby Singer.

Bobby was pleasant and he was nice to me—especially after hearing about me having Dean's baby—and I was thankful for him. While Sam read the books and Dean talked to Bobby and got some things, I stood outside and continually tried calling Jen. When she finally answered the phone, I screamed in joy.

"I know you two were probably busy, but this is big!" I exclaimed.

Jen was definitely out of breath. "I'm so sorry, honey! I just—what's wrong?"

Before I could say anything, I saw Meg and she smiled, and I hung up the phone, sticking it in my pocket. I was about to say an incantation when she backhanded my face and sent me flying. I blacked out for a little while, waking up to Dean backhanding Meg for saying something.

"Bitch gave me a serious headache." I said angrily.

I got up and then I went outside and I stood there, looking at my phone—three missed calls from Jen. I dialed the phone and then I smiled when she picked up even though I knew she was freaking and I couldn't help that.

"I thought the worst!" Jen cried.

"Well Meg showed up and Sam and Dean are exorcising the demon in her body right now." I told her. "Bitch gave me the world's biggest headache. I need you to pull up everything you can on—"

I stopped as a black cloud went into the sky, and I knew the demon had just been exorcised. It meant that they had gotten the information that they had needed and they had sent her packing, and now they were going to need me…so I had to go.

"Jen, I have to call you back. Right now they need me." I explained. "Can you please look up everything you can on these demons that work for the demon we're after? We need all the help we can get."

"Of course, Lan. Are you three all right?" Jen asked slowly.

I nodded a little. "Yeah, I suppose. I mean we're all freaking out, but this is their father. This is the man that helped in their creation, and they love him more than anything or anyone. If he's gone, then there's nothing that will stop them from snapping and getting revenge. I just—I understand and I probably would help them—if John's dead then I'll snap too. We need information to keep us at least _kind of_ safe, Jen. We need you."

"Of course. I'll call you as soon as I find something. Just give me a little bit because I'm a little tired—tossing and turning with Kevin and all. I'm going to need to shower." Jen told me.

I smiled at her happiness. "Okay. Tell Kevin I'm sorry for ruining his fun, all right?"

Jen laughed at that. "All right."

"I love you. Just in case I never get to tell you that, I love you. I always will. You're my best friend and I wouldn't be this far without you." I said as I wiped away a tear.

Jen sounded tearful. "I love you too, Lan."

Jen was my best friend and I knew that I could never live without her and that I needed to see her more often. She knew it too and we both hung up and then I wiped my tears and went inside to see the real Meg dead. Bobby told us to get to our next destination, so we went to Jefferson City, Missouri, and got the guns—and then Sam and Dean argued more over the Colt and whether it was staying or going, and Sam won—it was staying, guarded in the trunk by symbols so the demons couldn't get through it.

"This is going to suck." I told them when we found where John would be.

It was an apartment complex with human shields of all sorts: women, children, elderly—if it knew what we looked like and the demons could possess anyone they wanted to, we were screwed. We decided to pull the fire alarm, giving us all 7 minutes exactly to do what we needed to do. Sam pulled the alarm, and then Dean and I tried to come up with a clever story to distract the policemen so Sam could get us firemen suits.

When we got inside, we found two demons, and had to put them in the closet and then put massive amounts of salt there so they wouldn't escape—then we went looking for John. When we found him, he was sprawled on the bed and Dean ran to him, but thank God he was still breathing. Just to be sure, Sam splashed Holy Water on him, and then we found he was fine, and the boys began to move him while I directed them out—unfortunately, the demons were possessing people left and right now, and they kept coming.

"We've got to move." I said, guiding them away from them. "We need a place to hold the fort or something."

We ran into a room and tried to get out the window, pouring salt on the windowsill as we got down, making sure we were all going to get through this. A demon attacked Sam as Dean carried John, and then when Dean tried to help him, he got thrown off, and the demon started beating the crap out of Sam, and when I ran to help too, I was thrown away too, and then I saw Dean use the Colt, and I cursed myself for being afraid of embracing my inner witch again when I'd done it before. I helped them, and then Dean drove all the way to an abandoned house so we could have a place of sanctuary.

The first priority was John, and we got him into a bed, and then Sam went to lock up and put salt everywhere. I knew that I should've been helping, but I was more interested in patching things up with Dean. I wanted him to know that I was always going to be here, so I took his hand as he left his father's side and was looking at himself in the mirror in the bathroom, and he turned to me. I kissed him, and was only a little surprised when he kissed me back. The kiss grew between us, but we just stood there holding one another because it was a moment in which we both knew we were safe and loved—we both knew we were home.

"I won't leave you." I whispered when our lips parted. "I promise you, I won't."

Dean smiled and kissed me softly. "Good. I don't know what we would do without you."

"You'd be fine without me—it just wouldn't be nearly as much fun." I said, kissing him when he started to protest. "Go talk to your brother. We'll talk when this is over."

Dean nodded and as he went to talk to Sam, I sat with John as he slept, running my fingers through his hair. It was kind of amazing that I felt like he was like my father, but I really did—he was an amazing man and he protected me and he treated me like I belonged…I was going to miss him.

"I don't want to lose you. You're the closest thing to a father that I have." I told him sadly, and I wiped the tears and I smiled as he looked at me, and I tried to be strong. "Hi."

He smiled at me. "Don't cry, honey. I'm not leaving."

He got up to go and talk to Dean and Sam while I cried, and then the lights flickered and I got up to go and went out to see Dean pointing the gun at his father, and I suddenly wondered why if he was a demon, I didn't sense it. I backed up against the wall and then I started to mutter an incantation under my breath that would give Sam, Dean and I the strength we needed to do what we needed to do. When Sam came back, he sided with Dean and then we found out that the demon was possessing John—_the_ demon. We all got pinned against the wall, and then he started to talk to them and I got pissed suddenly.

"How dare you?" I asked him. "How come I can't sense you? And the Holy Water?"

The demon smiled. "You have no idea what you're up against, Lana. Until you embrace your heritage and the blood running through your veins, you'll never get it. You know me…I know you…someday you'll understand that."

I frowned, and then he started to taunt them as I struggled. He was telling their inner most secrets, and then the demon looked at me and I knew I was in for it. If he actually came clean about my secrets without letting _me_ do it, I was _definitely_ losing them and I didn't want to lose them.

"And you. Lately you don't feel like you belong. You know that more than this family not needing Dean, they definitely don't need you. Ever since you showed up, you've brought more drama then they needed, and you know you have to leave—but you never told them that you know you're going to die before this is over, have you? Did you ever think that maybe if you told them, you'd have the man you loved by your side before the end? Ever think to let him know that no matter what you would always love him and only him? Or did you realize he wouldn't care, nor would he change?" He taunted me.

Then the demon started to try and kill Dean, and I watched as he was in pain and he began to bleed from his torso and his mouth. Dean kept talking to his father inside and telling him not to let the demon kill him, and then as it looked as if he was dead, John was in control again and he began to cry, and as we were all let down from the wall we were being pinned to, Sam grabbed the gun and shot his father in the leg as I went over to Dean and I ran my fingers through his hair, looking up as Sam checked on him, and then on his father, who begged him to kill him and with that kill the demon, but he hesitated, and the demon left his body.

Sam and I got them into the car, and as we drove to the hospital, Sam and his father argued about Sam not killing him, but before it could go very far, I realized Dean was fading, and then we were all hit by a large truck, and the car was smashed. Amazingly, I was the only one who wasn't unconscious or maybe dead, though I was bleeding everywhere, and I checked Dean and then got out of the car, not knowing what to do or whether they would hold on or not as I pulled out my cell phone and tried to ignore all of my pain all over.

"I didn't think that would kill you." Chelsea said, laughing a little as she looked at me.

I turned to see her standing there and I was aware I had not heeded my parents' warning—find a way to kill her. What was I going to do now when I needed to get them to a hospital and I needed to save them? Dean was really fading here and I loved him and I was starting to have stomach pain. I placed my hand on my stomach and swallowed, looking at Chelsea.

"What do you want from me?" I asked her.

Chelsea just shrugged, raised a gun, and shot me…my body fell backwards, and hit the ground hard…

**Note: Happy Thanksgiving guys! I'm really sorry this left on a cliffy and it was pretty much pure angst. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	19. In Our Time of Dying

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I suggest tissues for this one.**

**I love this chapter, but I am biased.**

**I hope you guys like it!**

**Standard warnings apply: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

When I awoke, I was in a place of only bright white light and I swallowed because I was _really_ hoping this didn't mean that I was dead. It was as if I was in an entirely white room, and I was pretty certain that this was _not_ a good sign.

"Hello?" I asked aloud.

"Hello." A voice answered.

I turned to see a very beautiful woman near me and she smiled at me and for some reason I felt calm. She didn't seem dangerous, or bitter or anything like that…she just seemed helpful and I was hoping that meant this was a good omen instead of a bad one. So I took a step towards her and cocked my head to the side a little, examining her and trying to find the right words to say.

"I'm sure you're confused. I am Alexian, and I'm your guide." She told me softly.

I definitely _was_ confused. "What do you mean, my guide? Am I—am I dead?"

Alexian shook her head. "Not yet, Alana. You were simply chosen."

"I don't understand." I told her, and then took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and then looked up at her as I sat up slowly.

Alexian nodded. "I know. Alana, you must embrace your destiny. When you finally freed your parents, you were told of Chelsea, and you didn't heed the warning. Chelsea shot you, and you still have yet to find your birth parents. They're a big deal in all of this, Alana—in a way, they're the _reason _that all of this is happening. You are dying right now, Alana, but you are being given one last chance."

"One last chance for what?" I asked her.

"One last chance to find yourself." She said simply. "You're being given a chance to make a choice."

I raised my eyebrows. "So…I'm still a little lost."

Alexian smiled and nodded at me, placing her hands on my shoulders and I couldn't help but follow her as she began to walk. She just seemed so genuine and I didn't really feel like she was trying to hurt me…I really did feel like she was trying to help me no matter how confused I was.

Alexian smiled at me warmly. "We are in your subconscious, Alana. I am your guide from the other plane, and I am here to help you find who you are."

I nodded slowly. "All right. The sooner I do this, the sooner I can check on the others."

"Then let us begin." Alexian informed me. "We haven't a moment to lose. We'll begin with your past."

I nodded, and then Alexian took my hand as everything around me looked like the kitchen in my house, and I was much younger, watching as my little sister sat at breakfast and played with her Cheerios. She was four and I was six, and it looked like a couple months before the Shtriga attacked…it was back when we were all incredibly happy.

"Mommy, what is this?" Little me asked my mother.

"That's a faerie, Lanni." My mother answered.

Annie looked at the book I'd found. "Why is she naked?"

My mother blushed and took the book. "They don't have the rules our society has. Let's get you two to school."

I followed my mother as she took Annie and I to school, and I watched the day as I saved Annie from a bully, and I told her not to follow the shadows she kept seeing—the shadows I now knew to be the Shtriga looking for its next victim.

"Why are you making me watch this?" I asked Alexian, swallowing the lump in my throat.

Alexian turned to look at me. "You love your sister. You love your family. Everything that you have ever done in your life has been for the love of family, Alana."

"I let my sister die." I said angrily. "You can't tell me I stand for family."

"Look how much you wanted to protect her." Alexian urged.

I blotted my eyes. "Why don't you tell Annie how much I protected her?"

Alexian began to walk towards me, but I backed away. "Apparently I love family. What's the next stop?"

Alexian nodded, and then I saw something I'd already been through—something I didn't want to go through again.

"Chelsea?" I asked into the phone.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Little Lana." Chelsea said with playfulness in her voice.

"Wow. I didn't think I'd ever hear your voice again." I told her, and it was true—no matter what it was that I was lying about, I hadn't expected her to contact me ever again.

Chelsea laughed. "Well I never thought I'd try and help you."

"What's this about?" I asked her, looking around outside of the motel to make sure that Sam and Dean weren't around to ask me what was going on.

"This is about me showing you and Jennifer that I wasn't just something you two could push around—I have brains, brawn, and I know all about your little bonding with the Winchesters, and the man who can help you put your parents' souls at rest and the death of Jen's last boyfriend—it just comes at a price." She explained to me.

The only thing weirder than Chelsea calling me out of the blue was Chelsea calling me to barter away information. Knowing Chelsea and what she was capable of, I just took a deep breath and rubbed my temples and decided to play her little game with her. The only thing holding me back was how deep the involvement with Sam and Dean could potentially get.

"I thought it would." I told her finally when she made an annoyed noise at my silence. "What kind of price?"

"I want Dean Winchester." She said without skipping a beat.

I froze. "What?"

"That or his younger brother, Sam. Unless…you or Jen would rather sacrifice yourselves." Chelsea added with a little hope in her voice.

"Of course I'm going to sacrifice myself." I told her quickly, swallowing a little. "No questions asked."

"What?" I heard Dean say.

I turned around and shushed him by putting my finger to my mouth and he gave me a look and I knew we'd be talking about this soon. It wasn't that I didn't want to somehow tell them 'goodbye', it was just that I didn't want them making a big deal about things and babying me. They seemed to be doing that a lot lately and this was just going to make them baby me more.

"Just tell me where I need to meet you, and I'll come alone and unarmed so you can sacrifice me or whatever." I told her and Dean gave me a concerned look.

"Alley behind the church. Tomorrow night. Better show or I'll take someone precious to you." Chelsea explained to me.

Before I could say anything, Chelsea hung up and I turned to Dean and sighed as I pocketed my cell phone and he started to talk to me. He hated that I was being secretive and when I said it was just a joke between Jen and I and I needed to go see her, he saw right through my lie. Then he was even more upset that I was lying to him when he and Sam could help me with whatever it was that I was hiding from them.

"You're not sacrificing yourself." Dean told me firmly.

I took a deep breath. "I don't think that you get to tell me what I can and can't do."

Dean was rather upset that I would even say something like that to him and in a huff he was back in the motel room and I was sighing because this wasn't his fault and I had no right to take anything out on him. So I followed him into the motel room and he sat in a huff on the bed, me and Sam making direct eye contact and him nodding. He and I always seemed to be on the exact same page, and I smiled at him when he kissed the top of my head and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, leaving the motel room.

I took that moment to climb onto the bed with Dean and he gave me a look so I kissed him and when he didn't respond, I pulled away and pouted a little. He narrowed his eyes a little at the emotional manipulation, but when I kissed him this time, he returned it, his hand going into my hair. I wanted more than anything for him to just talk to me about my little outburst but I wasn't going to force anything on him—I wanted Dean Winchester to come around in his own time anyway.

"Sam gave us some space…" I whispered as Dean bit the hollow of my neck softly making me smile and moan softly.

Dean nodded and kissed the bite mark. "I caught the look between the two of you."

"Oh, so you're not completely brain dead and oblivious then?" I asked him, giggling when he rolled his eyes at me and in one quick movement pinned me to the bed.

"You mind telling me what that phone conversation was about?" Dean asked me.

I shook my head and sat up a little, pulling off my shirt and wishing that would be enough for us to move on but Dean was stubborn and he wasn't letting it go. Even when I kissed him and he kissed me back, the moment we pulled away for air he asked me the same question and I sighed. It wasn't something I wanted to talk about or come clean about and if this was our last intimate moments together, I wanted some damn action.

"I think we can talk later." I told him.

He shook his head. "We're not having sex until you explain the phone call."

I nodded and then gave him a look, and he nodded too and got off of me. When I grabbed my shirt from the floor where it had been tossed and went to put it on, Dean told me I was being selfish, and that wasn't what family was about. The notion that he thought of me as family almost made me tell him, but when I turned around he had already dialed Sam to get him to come back so I just sighed and dropped it, ending up sleeping in Sam's bed that night because Dean was upset.

I couldn't blame him, and it was those thoughts that made me have trouble falling asleep that night. When I woke up the next morning, I stretched and then saw that Dean wasn't on his bed and I turned to look at Sam. I smiled at him and pushed his hair out of his face—he was so adorable when he slept. As he stirred I returned to the feeling that something was definitely wrong, and I got up and went to the door, looking at how it seemed precarious even though it looked fine—then I saw the note. I saw the note and suddenly everything was wrong and I started to panic. The note read:

_Dean's with me. Show up before he learns the_

_Truth—unless you don't mind him learning_

_About your little secrets…and Sam._

I showed Sam the note and sighed. "I don't have any idea why the two of you even tolerate me in the first place."

"What is going on here, Lan?" Sam asked me.

I took a deep breath. "It's the return of my past."

I knew that he wanted more than that, but I was already grabbing my jacket and then raising an eyebrow at Chelsea calling me. She was bored that I hadn't been there sooner and when I explained I was just about to head to a library and a store to get some information and some things to do a spell to track her down, she told me it was more fun for her if I just showed up. So I hurried to the coordinates that she had given me and I swallowed when Sam said my name in an annoyed tone and gave me a look.

"Chelsea?" Sam asked me.

"My name sounds so much hotter when little Sammy Winchester says it." Chelsea said, licking her fangs.

Sam shot her a look. "Don't call me that."

"Oh, I forgot—only your brother and your girlfriend can call you that. Lana, Lana, Lana I thought you'd be here sooner." Chelsea mocked me with a laugh.

"Well you called—didn't that defeat the purpose of watching us squirm to get to you?" I asked her.

When I gave her a lock and laughed she didn't look as amused and made a sudden movement that I wasn't ready to anticipate. Chelsea grabbed my throat, and though I could tell that Dean wanted to cry out and get her to let me go, a sound never escaped his lips and with one move she had tossed Sam away from us. I squirmed a little and then looked her in the eye as she looked at me angrily.

"I'm going to kill you and then Dean, and possibly leave Sam alive for my own pleasure." Chelsea said, winking at Sam who looked disgusted. "You people are way too good at killing demons."

"Let her go!" Sam said, hitting Chelsea when he got back over to us.

She flinched a little, but her vampire strength and her ability to read minds was the only thing that kept her on her feet. I watched her as she gave him a look and then she turned to Dean and smiled. It annoyed me that she was smiling at him like she knew so much and the problem was she did…she knew so much that could threaten our already fragile right now balance of things.

"Dean and I had a little chat about things while you two weren't here." Chelsea said and shrugged, tightening her grip around my throat a little. "He's a little pissed that someone—I'm not naming names—didn't tell him the truth about me."

I tried to swallow. "You mean about how Jenny and I stupidly let you get turned?"

"Yeah…how you and Jennifer get people you care about killed." Chelsea explained.

"I don't understand why you didn't tell me, Lanni." Dean told me, hurt in his voice and he wasn't even trying to mask it as Chelsea moved the hair away from my neck, licking my skin so she could bite me.

Sam seemed hurt about it too and I kicked a little and Chelsea smiled at me, glad that she had managed to put a wedge in between me and the boys. It was rather annoying too that neither of them was making a move towards me, not because they didn't care, but because they were still a little stunned that I kept such a vital secret. Honestly the secret could have gotten us all killed and I was feeling bad enough about it, but it was worse when Chelsea grinned, and ran her incisors along my flesh. Right when she was about to bite me Sam finally moved towards us and stabbed her through the heart with a stake I had given him before we came in, and she screamed, making me double forward to get her voice out of my ear, and then I turned to see her burst into ashes right in front of me.

"That's not the end of her…" I said softly.

Sam gave me a look. "Are you kidding me?"

"Chelsea…she has tricks up her sleeves." I told him and then went to untie Dean, who pulled away from me and I nodded slowly. "We should get back to the motel and I need to call Jenny and let her know what's up."

"Maybe you should just go back to Kansas." Dean spat at me hostilely and then headed out of the warehouse and Sam looked at me sadly.

I knew that he didn't want me to leave and he told me to give him and Dean a little time, but that he didn't want me to just take off. Truth was I knew Chelsea would be back, and I knew this was not the time to leave them so I just decided to go ahead and go back to the motel, even though Dean wasn't talking to me.

"Do you see now?" Alexian asked me.

I looked at her angrily. "See what? See that Dean and I aren't meant to be? I see here that Chelsea ruined my life."

"You wanted nothing more than for Dean to be safe. You wanted to protect him, and he wanted to protect you—you're his family. Even when things are as dangerous as they can be, you and Dean sacrifice _everything _for each other. You're one of the most loyal people I've seen in this world. Look at everything you sacrifice." She explained to me.

"And where does it get me?" I asked her slowly.

She smiled at me. "It could get you here."

I followed her to a place that was a future I'd only dreamt about and I found myself tearing up a little. It was a nice house that obviously had kids in it, and the sound of arguing but it was all oddly pleasing.

"Trevor, stop trying to paint your brother!" I heard my future self, cry.

"But Mommy, Duncan said my painting was worse than his!" Trevor replied.

Trevor, the little boy that stood in front of me was no more than six, and Duncan wandered into the room and looked about four. The two of them looked very much like Dean, but they had my eyes which made me smile and rest my hand on my stomach reverently.

"Clean this up before your father gets home you two." My other me told them.

"Are you mad at us, Mommy?" Duncan asked as I set my hand on my obviously pregnant belly.

"No sweetheart, but you really shouldn't put the paint anywhere but the paper Daddy and I buy for you." I said, leaning over and stroking his hair, and I clearly saw a diamond ring on her left ring finger—how Dean could afford a diamond, I can't begin to tell you. "Go clean yourself up."

"Lanni, I'm home!" Dean called from the front door.

My other me's face lit up and she went to the door, kissing him softly. He rested his hand on her stomach and nuzzled her neck, making her smile, and making me smile. This Dean was actually visually excited about having kids, and he had two running around and one on the way.

"She's been kicking a lot lately." The other Lana told the other Dean pleasantly.

"Daddy!" Trevor cried, running to him and hugging him.

"There's my boy!" Dean said, picking him up and stroking his hair.

"He painted his brother today." The other Lana told Dean. "I should go help Duncan clean up."

"Let me do it, honey. You've done enough today." Dean said, kissing her softly and then taking Trevor to go and help Duncan to wash off the paint.

I smiled at them. "They seem so happy…I wish I could give Dean that. He wants a home so badly."

Alexian nodded at me. "Anything can happen. You just have to be willing to give things up, and you have to never let your dreams die. Believe in the future—believe in yourself."

"I think I can do that—I'd do anything to get here." I told her.

Alexian smiled. "Then grasp it—hold onto it with everything you have."

"I will." I said triumphantly, and then I found the light fading, and the darkness returning.

xxxx

When I woke up, I was feeling rather sore and I distinctly smelt hospital. As I tried to move, I realized that the soreness wasn't going to keep me here—I was going to get up and find the others. There was far too much at stake for me to just lie here in a hospital bed and not do anything.

"Dean?" I asked out loud, wishing I could gather the strength to talk louder, but I knew it wasn't going to happen. "Who is in here? Shouldn't there be a nurse?"

As no one answered my question, I sat up, cringing the entire way, and then I looked down and saw that I had had some surgery for that bullet. I started to freak out because I was pretty sure I wasn't far along enough in my pregnancy for the baby to survive surgery and anesthetics. I was sore all over, bruised, definitely scraped up, and I'd been cut into…how was my baby?

"No wonder I'm sore." I whispered, standing up and holding onto my IV, walking out of the room with it on its wheely thingy.

It took me a little while to walk down the corridor, and when I got to the room I was looking for, I freaked out a little bit and walked into the room. Dean was in a coma, that much was obvious, and I sat next to him and I took his hand, kissing it softly. I had been pretty certain that Dean had gotten hit with the worst of it, and I needed him to be all right—I needed him to wake up…I needed to talk to a nurse.

"My mother told me once that talking to people in comas works." I said and then I sighed and shook my head. "But that's probably not what you wanted me to say as the first thing I say to you."

I looked at him for a moment and wiped a tear away before I looked up and saw Sam coming in. He was silent for a good while looking over his brother, but then he looked at me. We made eye contact and I bit my lip, both of us pretty upset, and he knew something…he knew something and I was pretty sure it was a bad kind of something.

"For a moment I thought you were dead." He told me softly.

I nodded slowly. "I had to get out of that room."

"It's probably not good for you to be up and about." Sam said, honestly worried about me and the condition I was in.

"I need to be here with him." I explained to him, and then looked back at Dean. "I lost the baby, didn't I, Sammy."

Sam opened his mouth to say something but a doctor came in and told him that his father was awake, and I looked up and Sam looked back at me. I wanted an answer to my question but it could wait—John was awake and he needed to know how his sons were. Everything going around me was far much more important, and I needed to accept that.

"You want to give him my regards, please?" I asked Sam. "I have one more thing to say before I make my way in there."

"Say it and I'll carry you in there. You don't look like you're walking too well." He told me, swallowing a little.

I nodded and then looked at Dean. "No matter what, Sam and I are going to find a way to get you out of this. We're not going to leave you…I love you."

I leaned over and kissed his forehead and then Sam came over and picked me up, and as I dragged my IV along, he carried me to John's room and I smiled when he looked up and then Sam set me down for a moment. I was standing pretty well it was the moving that was hurting me all over.

"You're looking a little under the weather." John told me and I knew he cared.

Sam nodded at his father. "She had surgery earlier. Something shot her."

"What?" John asked, very concerned.

"Let's not get into it. I'm fine. We need to worry about Dean." I told him, waving off my own problems because right now what mattered was getting Dean out of his coma.

John gave me a look. "What shot you, Lana?"

"Chelsea. Now moving onto Dean being in a coma." I said, not wanting to ruin John's hope of having grandkids and needing him to help me save Dean.

Instead of asking about Chelsea again, John looked at Sam and he nodded. After Sam explained everything to him, Sam gave me a look as he was going out to get his Dad some supplies, and I shrugged, cringing a little. John gave me a look as I rested my hand on my stomach and bit my lip so I wouldn't cry—I had to be strong about this…and maybe find that nurse to talk to.

"What?" I asked him as he looked at me.

"Go rest." John said softly. "In your own room."

"But I need to be with Dean." I protested.

John smiled at me. "If you kill yourself in the process of watching over him, when he wakes up he'll blame himself."

"Fine." I puffed out, sighing and then nodding. "I'll go take a nap or something."

"And we'll talk about Chelsea later." John nodded and smiled.

I nodded at him and felt a little defeated. "Fine."

I got up and walked to my room, laying in my hospital bed and lying down on my bed and looking at the ceiling. I reached over and pressed the button for the nurse, taking a deep breath because I really needed to know…was I still pregnant? What happened during the surgery?

"Everything I wanted to tell him I couldn't. Everything I wanted to show him I couldn't. Here I am, shot by Chelsea, possibly miscarried, and then the man I love slips into a coma. What am I supposed to do?" I asked myself and then looked up as the nurse came in. "Hi. I, uh…I was wondering about the surgery…about my baby."

The nurse nodded solemnly. "When you came in, you'd lost a lot of blood. We did everything that we could, but you were slipping away and it came down to you or the baby. Since the father of the baby was in a coma and your only other next of kin was Jennifer on your contact list and Sam, the decision was up to them…we tried to save you both."

"You did what you could." I managed to say, and ran my fingers along my stomach, tears coming out of my eyes.

I had been far too weak to save my baby, and everything the nurse was saying to me was being absorbed, but I was also broken. What if Dean died and I lost _both_ of them in one fell swoop? That demon was going to pay, and I was going to make damn sure of it, that was for certain.

I went to sleep for a little while, waking up to doctors running past my room and I stood up to go see what was going on, Sam running after them too. They went into Dean's room, and started shocking him with defribulators. I had to hide my eyes in Sam's chest, and he held me tightly as the two of us cried. He was slipping away and we couldn't help him…at least not as we were.

"Still no pulse. Clear!" A nurse said.

"No change." The doctor told her. "We'll have to switch to CPR."

Everything seemed so hectic and chaotic, but thankfully, his vitals returned to normal and he was all right, but something was up, I could feel it. There was a presence around Sam and I, and I was pretty certain that there was something bigger going on here. I looked around and then looked back at Dean's body lying there, knowing there was only one thing left for me to do.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked as he walked me to my room.

I shook my head. "No. I don't like to see him there…like that."

Sam nodded at me. "Me neither."

"Can you…can you hold me?" I asked him slowly.

Sam nodded, and wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to him. I felt so safe there in his warm embrace, and I was thankful to him—thankful _for_ him. He was my Sammy and I needed him right then…I also needed John, Dean and Jen…I needed them desperately right then because I was going to lose it.

"I don't know what I would do without you guys…you're my family." I told him.

"We think you're our family too…the three of us love you." Sam explained to me.

I nodded into him. "And I love the three of you…know that."

With that, I kissed him softly, and then I rested my forehead to his, enjoying the contact _and_ feeling a little bad about my lips on his. It wasn't a romantic gesture, but at the same time, Sam and I were never _just_ friends and we both knew it.

"What was that for, Lan?" Sam asked me, stroking my hair.

"For taking care of me…for helping me through this." I told him, nodding slowly and touching my stomach. "I can't…I can't believe that I lost it. I mean…I didn't even know what it was yet…it was just kind of a baby—_my_ baby. I…I don't want to tell you dad that I lost it, okay? Not yet…I can't do it."

Sam nodded, kissing me swiftly. "Sleep, Lan, and let's not make this thing here a habit."

"Girl Scout's Honor." I said, laying on the bed and closing my eyes to sleep, and then when I woke up the next time, it was to Sam going past my room to Dean's so I got up and followed him. "What are you doing?"

"I think it's time we tried to communicate with him." Sam told me.

I nodded at him because I agreed, and I leaned on the doorframe and began watching from the door as Sam talked to his brother. Mostly I was worried about my own plan, but now if we got to talk to Dean, I was going to be able to ask him to forgive me.

"Hey, um. I think maybe you're around, and if you are, don't make fun of me for this, but, um…but there's one way we can talk." Sam said, pulling out a weegie board.

"His spirit is mocking you." I told Sam with a smile and a laugh, and Sam smiled a little too, and then sat down on the floor and I watched him.

"Dean?" Sam asked. "Dean are you here?"

I watched as he sat there for a while, and then the piece moved and I smiled while Sam laughed with relief. Dean was around—or at least his spirit was—and that meant he was in more trouble than I had thought. At least he hadn't completely moved on though, because his body was still hanging on, so I had to act fast.

"Oh God, it's good to hear from you, man." Sam said aloud to Dean's 'spirit'. "Things haven't been the same without you."

"Damn straight." I muttered with a nod and then the piece began to move again.

Sam focused on the board. "Dean, what? H…U…Hunt? Are you hunting? Dean, it's in the hospital what you're hunting? What are you hunting? What is it?"

We watched as it moved. "The Reaper? Dean…is it after you?"

As the piece moved to the 'yes' on the board, Sam freaked out and wanted to find a way to save Dean so he went to his Dad, while I stayed in the room and sat next to his body. I knew I should probably be using the board to try and talk to him, but if he was in the room and could hear me, then this worked too.

"Now that I know you're around, I know you can hear me. So until Sam gets back, I want you to know something…I love you. I may have said it earlier, but I needed to say it again. This love I have for you isn't going away. I'm in love with you. In love with your pigishness, in love with your hardheadedness, in love with your kindness…I just…I can't lose you. In doing what I want to do next, you might get mad at me, but I need to do this…because I love you…and I can't live without you." I explained to him and then I noticed the weegie board moving and I laughed a little and shook my head. "Okay, so um…do you promise not to hurt me when this is all over?" I asked him.

The piece moved to 'no'.

"Sounds like you, Mr. Stubborn." I said with a sad smile and as I said that, the piece moved around the letters and I smiled. "I know you love me." I whispered and looked up in the general direction I expected him to be. "I love you too…Forgive me."

xxxx

I set myself up in my room as Sam looked through their father's journal for things on Reapers, and then I lay down on my bed and I closed my eyes, but then opened them and reached for my cell phone, calling Jen. In all this time—even with the nurse explaining that she'd contacted her—I hadn't called her and she was my best friend. I hadn't let her know that I was awake, and that I was fine…that Dean was hanging on by a thread.

"Hello?" Jen asked hurriedly.

"Hey, Jen! I realized I hadn't called!" I told her.

"I was wondering where you went to! I've been worried sick! You haven't called in like three days!" She cried.

I nodded at her. "I know, I know. Look, don't freak out, but I need you to come to the hospital. Dean's in a coma and getting chased by a Reaper, and I'm…well I'm…I got out of surgery and now I'm recovering."

There was silence and then I heard a rather angry noise. "What the Hell, Lan? You should have called me far before this! I'm going to be there in a few hours!"

I just nodded as she hung up on me and then I left a note for Sam, because she would call back for directions, but I would be on a different plane of existence—I had to do this spell. Dean meant far too much to me, so I lay there and closed my eyes, chanting the spell under my breath. For a moment I felt disoriented, and then when I looked around I saw my body lying there and I nodded.

"Here goes nothing." I told myself, and then I walked down the hallways and heard a woman speaking.

"It's an honorable death. A warrior's death." She said and I stood in the hallway listening.

Dean scoffed at him. "I think I'll pass on the 72 virgins, thanks. I'm not that into prude chicks, anyways, thanks."

I smiled, knowing he was alive, and a bit at his little joke.

"That's funny. You're very cute." The woman told him with little emotion.

"There's no such thing as an honorable death. My corpse, is gonna rot in the ground, and my family is going to die. No. I'm not going with you. I don't care what you do." Dean said, and I felt myself wanting to go to him, but feeling compelled to listen a little more before I showed myself to him.

She nodded at him. "Well, like you said, there's always a choice. I can't make you come with me. But, you're not getting back in your body, and that's just facts. So yes, you can stay. You'll stay here for years—disembodied, scared. And over the decades, it'll probably drive you mad. Maybe you'll even get violent."

"What are you saying?" Dean asked her.

"Dean, how do you think angry spirits are born? They can't let go, and they can't move on. And you're about to become one—the same thing you hunt." She explained to him.

I walked into the room and looked at him, wanting to cry, and scream, and touch and smile, but I froze. This lady standing next to him must have been the Reaper, and I was worried because I didn't want Dean to die. There had to be _something_ that I could do—I couldn't just roll over and play dead while the man I was in love with died.

"I wasn't expecting you to do this." The Reaper told me.

I ignored her and went over to Dean, kissing him hard on the mouth and then pulling away. What if I really wasn't ever able to be with him again? What if no matter what I did, Dean died? What if I was left without the baby _and_ without Dean?

"I couldn't let you go without that." I said, trying to stop the tears that were coming now. "Not at all."

"Why are you here?" He asked. "You're not dying too, are you?"

I shook my head. "I put myself here because you need me, and I need you."

"Is that what you were talking about?" He asked me, stroking my hair and stepping closer to me.

"Yeah. I knew I could get to this plane. I've tried it before with my parents, but they never let me see them." I explained to him and then I wiped a tear away.

"So you know I'm dying?" Dean asked sadly.

I nodded to him, biting my lip to stop the crying. "Yeah."

Dean held me to him and I tried to be brave, tried to tell myself he needed me to be strong, but I just couldn't bring myself to be strong—I needed him. I'd already lost my beautiful baby and now I was going to lose him too? How was I going to get through this? I knew that it was selfish, and I shouldn't have been thinking about just myself but I had just lost a baby and I had no real time to mourn it yet…how could I mourn a baby _and_ the love of my life?

"You didn't even get to hear the baby's heartbeat." I told him sadly and then decided to make a joke instead of dwelling on the sadness. "You're dying and _still_ not pushing tongue."

Dean chuckled a little, and then we pulled away from each other and I looked at him for a second, and then turned to the woman. It was only fair that I talk to her since she was taking Dean away from me, and if Dean was really dying…I couldn't tell him about the baby being gone.

"Are you the Reaper?" I asked her.

"To Dean I'm Tessa, but yes." She answered me with a nod.

I nodded at her and smiled. "Do you deal with exchanges? Like could you take me in place of him?"

"No." Dean said firmly, shaking his head. "Don't even answer that. She's staying. Lanni…you're staying."

I turned to him. "They need you more than they need me—you can't die."

"Maybe it's time I talked with him. Neither of you should fear death." Tessa said in a soft voice.

I smiled at her sadly. "My parents used to say that, but I just—I always thought Dean and I would have some sort of future together."

Dean smiled and stroked my cheek, cupping my face. "Tessa, can I have a moment with Lana really quick?"

"Sure." She nodded at him, and with that she stepped out of the room, and then he looked at me.

"I was worried about you." He told me.

"You were worried about me? Honey you're the one in the coma." I said, wrapping my arms around his waist and looking up at him.

Dean swallowed. "You got shot."

"And got out of surgery fine." I told him, trying so hard not to lose it.

Dean kissed me softly. "Baby, losing the baby is no reason to sacrifice yourself for me. I'm in love with you too. If I have to go, I want you to know that…and I want you to be able to move on without me. I don't want you to sacrifice yourself for me."

I tried to smile. "That's noble, but Sammy and John _need_ you. You can't leave them now."

"I'm in love with your strength, your sassiness, your stubbornness…and the way you make me feel like I'm a good person. I love you so much it hurts." He said to me, trying to get me to understand that he couldn't let me die.

I was crying now. "Why tell me this, now? Dean why can't you fight this?"

"Because I'm dying, Lanni. I'm dying and I needed you to know that I would do anything for you. I want to love and protect you always, but sometimes you have to move on." He told me, and he leaned down.

I kissed him, and felt him wrap his arms around me, holding me to him as the kiss deepened. He pushed his tongue into my mouth and I couldn't hold back the tears anymore, thinking about how I may never get to do this anymore. Then his hands roamed along my frame and as his hand traveled up my shirt, he rested his hand right below my breast and we pulled away a little.

"Not to ruin a romantic moment or anything, but you might as well…you won't get to do that again." I told him with a small laugh. "Think of it as something that I'll remember you by."

He chuckled and then kissed me a little more passionately than before, and he rested his hand on my breast, squeezing it softly and then we pulled our lips away. I pressed my forehead to his and closed my eyes, biting my lips and holding back the sobs. I didn't want to lose him…I couldn't lose him…

"I love you." I said softly, kissing him again.

"I love you too." He replied, and he was crying a little, which was breaking me.

I sat in a chair in the room and Dean sat on the hospital bed, looking at me, and then Tessa came in and sat down behind him, running her fingers through his hair as I held onto his hand. I kissed his hand softly as Tessa began to talk to him, and I realized that this was it…these were the last moments that I was going to get to spend with him.

"It's time to put the pain behind you." Tessa told him.

"And go where?" Dean asked her sadly.

She smiled at him. "Sorry. I can't give away the big punch line. Moment of truth. No changing your mind later. So, what's it going to be?"

Dean pondered it a moment and we made eye contact. He was my Dean, and this was our last moment together and all I needed to know about how he felt about me was in his eyes. We didn't need any words, and I knew I was never going to find another man like him as long as I lived. I nodded a little, smiling sadly at him, and then he looked at Tessa softly before the lights began to flicker.

"What are you doing that for?" Dean asked, and then I found myself flickering.

"This can't be good." I said, and found myself waking up in my hospital bed with a start and I looked around. "So did she take him?" I asked myself, trying to get up, but I had used a lot of strength to do that spell. "Get up, Lana! Seriously, now!"

I used what was left of my strength and got up, looking up as Jen came into the room, Kevin following her. I really didn't need this right now because I needed to get to Dean's room and get there now, but Jen had that look on her face and Kevin was always backing her up. So if I was to get out of here, I was going to have to go through Jen first and that _far_ easier said than done—I'd learned that early on in our friendship.

"Kevin…close the door." She told him rather forcefully and Kevin complied as she looked around the room and her eyes flashed with anger. "You did not!"

I swallowed. "I didn't what?"

"Kevin! She used a spell!" Jen cried.

Kevin sighed. "Now you've set her off."

"I what?" I asked him.

Jen looked furious. "You're in for it! Think about it! You just put yourself in danger doing that! Where were you?"

"Dean's dying, Jen." I replied, somewhat calmer than I had expected it to come out. "I needed to see him on his plane before he was taken by Death."

Jen looked phased, but still needed to rant. "Killing yourself is no way to say goodbye!"

"Sit down, Sweetheart." Kevin said softly.

"No! Stop, Kevin!" Jen told him and he sighed.

I took that moment to notice that when she turned sideways, everything about her changed. My little Jen was pregnant. Why hadn't I noticed when she came in? Of course she had been rather pissed at me…but why didn't she tell me? And was that a _wedding band_ on her finger?

"I can't believe this! Why didn't you call earlier? Why didn't Sam call?" Jen asked, but she looked a little sadder now. "I was worried sick! I had no idea what had happened with the demons! I was trying to figure out if I would know if you would die or not, and then you call and lay everything on me! What were you thinking? You weren't!"

I smiled at her sadly. "Jen…I'm sorry."

"You should be!" She cried, actually sobbing now. "I don't know what I would do without you! We've been each others' rock for years and years. I can't lose you."

I started to cry too, and she came over to me and embraced me, and then I cringed a bit and she pulled away. I was still in a lot of pain and I needed to use the last of my strength to hug her _and_ to make sure that Dean was all right now.

"Sorry." She said sincerely.

"Let's check on Dean. I was thrown out of the other plane by something, and all I really remember is finding him and the reaper, talking to him a bit, and then…then I was here. I need to know if he's alive or not." I told her.

She nodded at me. "Kevin, help me to help her to him."

"How far along are you?" I asked as Kevin helped me to stand.

"16 weeks." She replied.

I smiled at her. "You're rather large."

"Don't even go there. He did this to me." Jen told me angrily.

"It's twins." Kevin informed me.

My eyes widened. "Oh!"

I was definitely excited for Jen and for Kevin, and I'd ask her about all of it later…even though part of me was upset because I no longer had a baby. Even so, the three of us went to Dean's room as some doctor's were clearing out, and then I prepared for the worst, but saw Dean sitting up.

"What?" I asked aloud.

"Oh my God, are you okay?" Dean asked me.

I nodded at him and sat on the bed, stroking his hair. "That's not the point…how are _you_?"

"I'm fine." He said and then Sam asked him what happened. "I don't remember."

I nodded slowly—he didn't remember…none of it. The look on my face made Sam and Dean ponder things, and then I sat in a chair and I looked up as they noticed Jen and Kevin for the first time.

"Oh! Hi you guys!" Sam told them.

"Hey, Sam. You need to watch Lana a bit more closely. I mean sure, you needed to be here for Dean, but she did a spell." Jen said and I rolled my eyes as she ratted me out.

Sam and Dean turned to me and Sam sighed. "In your weakened state?"

"Lanni…" Dean began, but I shook my head.

"There was a Reaper after you." I told him.

"What?" Dean asked.

I nodded at him. "Then I did the spell to get myself on the same plane as you."

"Lan, that was dangerous." Sam rubbed his temples. "You're not in any state to be going around doing spells."

"I needed to do it." I shrugged. "I got there when Dean was talking to the Reaper, and then…then the two of us talked a bit, and then I was thrown back into this plane. Something went down, but I don't know what."

I was about to say something else when the doctor came in and stood by his bed.

"I can't explain it. The Edema's vanished. The internal contusions are healed. Your vitals are good. You got to have some kind of angel watching over you." He told Dean.

"Thanks, Doc." Dean said.

The doctor nodded and then he looked over at me. "Shouldn't you be in bed, Ms. Tunston?"

I smiled a little. "Just checking on them."

"Hurry the visit up and get back in your bed." He told me. "You should be resting."

"Don't worry, we're on it." Jen said, and then the doctor nodded and left the room, Dean turning to Sam.

"So there was a reaper after me?" He asked aloud and we all nodded. "Then how did I ditch it?"

Sam looked at me and when I shrugged so did he. "Beats me. You really don't remember anything?"

"No." Dean replied. "I just feel something in the pit of my stomach. Something's wrong."

Then there was a knock on the door and their father came in, looking at his boy with love in his eyes but Dean was right about one thing—something was wrong. Sam was going to fight with him, but John didn't want to…there was _definitely _something going on with him. He sent Sam to get him caffeine, and then the rest of us left the room because he wanted to talk to Dean alone.

I was really hoping that Sam had kept my secret and not told his father about anything, and I leaned on the doorframe of Dean's hospital room, not listening to what they were saying. I was giving them their privacy but at the same time I had come so close to losing Dean, that I really just needed to be near him. This whole day had been trying, and we had all been through so much, and I really just needed something happy to happen.

When John came out of the room, he looked rather solemn, and I took his hand in mine and he smiled a sad smile. Something was up with him and I wanted to know what that something was…but was it my place to pry? I wasn't sure if I should or not, but at the same time…he meant so much to me and I wanted him to be happy too.

"Lana, I want you to know that I love you, okay?" He told me.

"What did you do, Dad?" I asked him without thinking about it, and he turned to me, smiling a sad smile.

He reached out and stroked my hair. "You called me 'Dad'."

I nodded and hugged him. "That's the way I love you—like my own father. You've honestly been the only one I've had in a really long time, and you love me like part of the family."

"I do—you're pretty much my daughter-in-law, you know?" He told me with a smile. "I love you, Lana. I want you to stay strong. I want you to do what you do best: follow your gut. Love them. Love yourself."

"You're leaving aren't you?" I asked him, the tears coming. "I'm going to miss you."

He kissed my forehead. "I'm going to miss you too, Lana."

He kissed my forehead one more time and then he headed down the hall and I looked in on Dean, going back into his room as he looked up at me. Jen and Kevin showed back up as I got onto the bed with Dean and started to cry a little as he rested his hand on my stomach. He didn't remember anything so he didn't have any idea about the miscarriage and I didn't have the heart to tell him about it right then.

There was no way I could keep it from him, but I was too mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted to get into it. I laid my head on Dean's chest and listened to his heartbeat, kissing his shirted peck softly and hoping I would never be stuck in this life or death situation like this with him again. If it came down to it, I would give my life for him, and I would do that in a heartbeat.

"Are you sure you're all right, Lanni? You just seem so sad." Dean told me.

I looked up in his eyes and kissed him. "I can't talk about it right now, Baby. You sure _you're_ okay?"

He nodded at. "Yeah…I'll be fine—I promise I'm not leaving you any time soon."

I nodded and kissed him again, smiling a little when he stroked my hair, both of us pulling away when we heard Sam yelling for help. The two of us scrambled up and hurried out of the room, followed closely by Jen and Kevin to see John. The doctor's were in his room with him trying hard to save his life with defribulators, and compressions, and I wasn't sure I could handle anymore loss…and I broke down when they stopped…

"Okay. Stop compressions. I'll call it. Time of death 10:41 a.m." The doctor said.

**Note: Almost 22 pages of writing in between cooking, whoo! Still, I AGAIN apologize that I posted something sad on a holiday. Happy Thanksgiving! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	20. Coping and Clowns

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Sorry for all of the sadness I've put you through!**

**Here is the next chapter and there is still **_**some **_**sadness, sorry.**

**I promise that next chapter will have more comedy.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

After John passed, we ended up heading to Bobby's and he gave us all a place to stay—except Jen and Kevin who went back to Kansas. Turns out the day Kevin was kidnapped, he and Jen got married but when he went missing, she didn't tell anyone about it. Then he came back and she wasn't sure the two of them would actually stay together and then she got pregnant and didn't know how to handle it—especially when she found out she was having twins.

Honestly, I was fine with that—she had a lot to deal with—even though part of me still wished she had told me about it all. I had other things to be upset about though…John was dead, I'd lost my baby, and I still hadn't told Dean. How could I do that to him? Each time I went to tell him he said something about how he was glad he hadn't lost everything…in all reality he had lost half of the people he cared the most about.

I sat in a room at Bobby's and I hugged my knees to me, sitting in shock, my tears streaming down my face, but no one knew I was crying…no one was there. Even when people were around I tried to keep my sadness to myself, even though I was visibly the most broken out of Sam, Dean and I. How were the three of us going to make it through this? How were we going to manage?

"I miss you, John." I told the empty room. "I miss you so much."

I wiped my tears away when I heard the door open, and I quickly flipped up the laptop and pretended to be fine as Sam and Dean walked through the door. They weren't really paying attention to me because they were engaged in their own conversation, and so I blotted my eyes as discretely as possible. Besides, I was used to this since we were all sharing the same room.

"I just never thought about her like that." Sam was saying.

Dean shrugged a little. "Well now we know she had a lot going on."

"But she's pregnant. And on top of that, she's married. For some reason it was easier to accept with Lana." Sam told him, and I knew they were referring to Jen.

"That's only because she was with me, and you assume every girl with me is easy." Dean said with a shake of his head.

Sam shook his head. "Lana is not easy."

"Not at all." I told them, starting an e-mail to Jen.

"You okay?" Dean asked, sitting down on the bed and handing me a latte.

I nodded at him slowly. "Yeah…I, uh…did you know that they're having twins? Jen and Kevin?"

I got off of the bed as Dean's hand started to move towards my stomach and Sam swallowed, knowing this was painful for me. Dean made a face and I tried to give him a smile as I crossed my arms over my chest. I was definitely having a hard time with all of this and I wanted Dean to know without me blurting because I couldn't take it anymore—I had to tell him with _some_ tact.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Sam asked me after a pause.

I shook my head. "No. I just want to…I want to wake up."

They nodded, and then Dean got up and he and Sam grabbed some things because we were going to give John a hunter's funeral. It was going to be hard to watch as he burned, but it had to be done so he wouldn't come back as anything. Still…it seemed so cold and I had no idea if I was going to be able to get through it without breaking down again. John Winchester was really gone…he was really not coming back…

"I'm going to grab my jacket." I told them, and headed out of the room before either of them could ask me anything.

We stood there in the dark air watching John's body burn. No one wanted him to come back as a spirit or anything, and I couldn't take it all, just like I thought I couldn't. I stood in silence a little bit off by myself, not wanting to deal with the sadness that was coming off of Sam and Dean in waves. I didn't want to deal with this…not at all.

For the next couple days, Dean worked on his car, Sam walked around, and I just lounged around in silence. I hadn't spoken since we burned John…it wasn't worth it. There was no point in talking about any of it, and no point getting Sam down or bothering Dean while he tried to fix his baby because of the crash. Still, it was the day I was going to tell Dean about the baby.

I hadn't planned it, but I had been taking a shower and my fingers ran along my scar and I couldn't stand anymore—I sat down in the tub and hugged my knees to me. I decided to just run a bath instead, but only sat in the water, Dean coming into the bathroom after knocking on the door a few times. He was worried about me, and he became even more worried when he shut the door behind him and noticed me in the tub with tears streaming down my face.

"Lanni…" Dean told me, reaching out and stroking my wet hair. "Baby, please talk to me…please…"

I sniffled a little and closed my eyes. "I lost it, Dean."

I shook my head a little as he got into the tub fully clothed, and resituated us so that our torsos were touching, my legs draped over his and wrapped around him. He stroked my hair and kissed my forehead as I cried and held me protectively close, brushing his lips across mine. He didn't know what to say and neither did I, but I had to let it all out since we were here, and once I started, I couldn't stop it.

"When we got hit by the semi, I got out of the car and I tried to make sure that everyone was okay and went to dial 9-1-1 for an ambulance. Then Chelsea showed up and she shot me, and I passed out. My body was going through too much and I just…they contacted Jen and they talked to Sam and after a while it was me…or the baby." I told him, trying to contain the sobs. "I wasn't strong enough to withstand anything! I lost _our_ baby and it's all my fault!"

Dean shook his head. "No, Baby, it's not. Hey…Lanni…look at me."

"Dean, I—"

"—things like this happen, Lanni. You can't blame yourself for _any_ of it." Dean told me, nuzzling my nose with his until I looked him in the eye.

I swallowed and then I sighed a little. "I didn't want to say anything because you already have so much to deal with."

"Baby, you can't handle this all on your own…it was my baby too." Dean said, and rested his forehead against mine. "You need to keep me in the loop here, Lanni. I mean I'm still trying to wrap my head around you having powers and I just…I need you to be honest with me—I need you to tell me things. I need you…can you let me in, please?"

I nodded and returned the kiss he placed so pleasantly on my lips and then he took off his t-shirt and kissed me again. It was nice to just kiss him back, our skin touching and know that we weren't going to actually go at it in the tub. We just needed to be close to each other, and I was so grateful for him—so glad that he was alive and with me.

"I'm so sorry." I told him softly.

He shook his head. "I love you."

I nodded as some more tears came, kissing him again and wrapping my arms around him, both of us eventually getting untangled from each other and me finishing my shower. Then the two of us got dressed and spent the next couple of days doing our own thing, and still being as close to each other as possible at night, snuggled close, him keeping me protected in his arms. I slipped back into silence, and Sam really wanted to talk to Dean about what was going on, but Dean didn't want to talk about his father…not even to me…in fact besides telling me that he was sorry he hadn't told me how much he wanted the baby, he didn't talk about the baby either.

That particular day, I was lounging about in jeans and a tight red t-shirt, my hair pulled back into a pony-tail, my bangs kind of annoying me as I read, but I pretty much left them alone. Dean was under the car trying to fix things, and Sam came over and they started arguing about how they were handling everything differently, and then Sam told Dean he had an address of a woman who might be able to help.

"Well, ask Bobby if we can borrow one of his cars." Dean told him, trying not to fight with his brother while he was upset.

"You coming, Lan?" Sam asked me.

I looked over at them and nodded, standing up from my seated position on the ground, and dusting myself off, nodding slowly again to reassure them of my decision—and to reassure myself. Lately the three of us were just kind of dealing with John's death in our own ways, and no one really talked about babies in front of me, so we side-stepped that too. It would be good to go on a hunt and get everyone to try and get back into the swing of things.

"You sure you don't want to talk a—" Sam began, but I held up my hand and he dropped it, nodding at me.

When we asked Bobby, he gave us keys to a van, and I got into the backseat, buckling up and looking out the window. It was kind of hard to think about how life was going to be now, and I wished that I could feel better with just a thought, but I couldn't. We had to deal with a lot of death in a really concentrated amount of time, and I was fairly certain that once the hunt was over we'd all go back to being upset and grouchy with each other.

"Lan, you can talk to us if you want to." Sam said as he got into the passenger seat.

"She doesn't want to talk, Sammy." Dean told him calmly. "Let her be."

Ignoring him Sam said, "Lan, it might make you feel better if you talk about it."

I turned to look at him as he looked back at me, and he sighed, knowing my eyes said it all—I'm not talking about it, and that's final. Every time I opened my mouth to try and talk through my feelings I became a water fountain and we were trying to do something here. I just wanted to lose myself in something else, and as we pulled up to the Roadhouse, I smiled a little as Dean and the car weren't getting along real well.

"This is humiliating! I feel like a freakin' soccer mom!" He said, slamming the car door and then reached out to stroke my hair and tell me he was sorry—the joke was funny until his 'sorry' reminded me of children.

"It's the only car Bobby had running." Sam told him.

As the boys tried to figure out if anyone was around, I put my hands in my back pockets and I looked at the old saloon. It wasn't too inviting, but I followed them in and at first I noticed someone on a table, and then there was a blonde woman with a gun, but I couldn't find my voice.

"God I hope that's a rifle." Dean said as the woman put it to his back. "You know you really shouldn't put a rifle to someone's back, makes it real easy for them to do this."

With that, Dean whirled around and took the rifle from her, but she punched him in the face hard and he called for Sam, who was being led out by someone else with a gun, and told Dean he couldn't help him. We seemed pretty out-gunned by two women, and it made me smile a little as I walked over to Sam and Dean and took a breath, trying to look really not hostile at all.

"Sam? Dean? Winchester?" The lady holding the gun to Sam asked.

"Yeah." Dean said, holding his nose.

The lady smiled a little. "Son of a bitch."

"Mom, you know these guys?" The girl asked, glaring at me too.

"I think these are John Winchester's boys." She replied, and then she laughed. "Hey, I'm Ellen. That's my daughter Jo."

They lowered their weapons and Dean turned to Jo. "You're not gonna hit me again are ya?"

"So who are you?" Ellen asked me.

"That's Lana." Sam told her with a small sigh.

Ellen's eyes lit up when she heard my name and I realized that she _too_ knew who I was and I was pretty certain I wasn't going to be happy about what she knew too. Why was it that everyone seemed to know me or know _about_ me, but I didn't know them? What was it about me that made everyone so interested in me?

"Oh! So you're Lana, huh?" Ellen asked me and I sadly looked at her funny and the smile was wiped away. "Don't you speak? As I remember, John said you had quite the mouth."

"She hasn't spoken lately." Sam said with a small nod.

With a nod from Ellen, we followed her and she got Dean some ice for his nose, and then they started talking about the help she said she could give John on the message she left on his phone. When she figured out he hadn't sent them, she asked if he was all right, and the tears welled up. I walked away from them a bit and kept my back turned trying hard not to lose it…I really didn't want to lose it.

"It was the Demon, we think. It just got him before he got it, I guess." Sam explained to her as calmly as he could.

"I'm so sorry." Ellen said after a pause and I crossed my arms and then wiped away some fallen tears, trying hard to stay collected.

Dean nodded at her. "It's okay. We're all right."

"Really, I know how close you and your Dad—" Ellen began.

"Look, lady, I'm fine." Dean told her firmly and it broke my heart because I knew he wasn't _trying_ to be rude—he just hurt so much over the loss of his father.

"Are you okay?" She asked, and I knew she was talking to me.

I turned to her and nodded, and then I left the saloon because I didn't want to talk about John. I wanted to help, but I didn't want to look like a complete and utter insensitive jerk. So I took a few moments to collect my thoughts, and then I walked in as Ash, the man who was sleeping on the table when we came in, walked away with some of John's research, and I knew that he was getting ready to track the demon down.

Dean walked over to me and put his hands on my shoulders. "Hey, Baby…are you sure you want to be here right now?"

I just nodded at him, smiling a little when he leaned in to kiss me because I hadn't been expecting it. He'd been so incredibly attentive lately, and I really just wanted to show him that I wasn't _entirely_ broken, but I _felt_ entirely broken so that was hard. Still, I kissed him back slow and sweet, pulling back and nuzzling his nose with mine, smiling at him and sending him off to his brother when he called him, noticing Jo's look in my direction.

It was obvious that she was kind of into Dean from the look that she gave me, but she also respected me for some reason. Besides, I had nothing to worry about because I knew Dean wasn't going to stray from me…I knew he was in love with me. He hadn't actually told me that he was in love with me the way he had when he was dying and we were with Tessa, but I knew it from how supportive he'd been being.

So I just nodded a little and headed over to Sam and Dean, smiling a small smile genuinely when Dean reached out and rested his hand on my back as I stood next to him. He really did love me and care about me, and I suddenly felt incredibly selfish being so mopey and so unable to contain my pain when that was all Dean was doing—hiding his sadness. I really needed to make this up to him, so I started off by running my fingers through Dean's hair, massaging his scalp with my fingertips and stepping closer to him as he sat on the bar stool, him showing me the papers and I looked him in the eye and nodded—he knew I wanted to take the case.

"You do?" Dean asked me and I nodded. "Okay then."

He was confused that I wanted to take the hunt when it had to do with children, but I just needed to get out and do something. It was going to be hard, and it was going to open up some pretty fresh wounds, but I needed to do this so we got into the car and started to drive in the dark as it rained. It wasn't until I actually read over the rest of the papers that I realized what had killed the little girl's parents—a clown…I was _not_ good with clowns and I let out a small shriek and Sam turned to me.

"What?" He asked me, but I just tried to wave it off and he nodded.

Dean made a face. "You have got to be kidding me. A killer clown?"

As I stared at the paper, Dean and Sam had a little spat about whether it was more normal to be afraid of flying or clowns, and then I handed the paper to Sam and texted a message to Jen, who was in Kansas again, with Kevin. She was going to be kept nice and safe by him—that was the plan—and I was glad that she was really safe. I wanted Jen to have those babies…she was my best friend and I was Godmother, and I wanted those twins to pop out healthy and unharmed.

"You sure you're going to be okay, Lan?" Sam asked looking back at me. "I just worry when you're quiet."

He and Dean had just finished a conversation about how Sam was doing this case because John would have wanted them to do it, and I looked up at him, and shrugged. I wanted to talk and they were being supportive, so it was about time I stopped moping around and started to think about Sam and Dean. They had just lost their _father_…why was I being so selfish about this?

"You can always tell us anything." Dean said, and I nodded. "We love you."

"I hate clowns too." I told him after a long pause.

Sam smiled a little. "So why did _you_ want to do this? It's children _and_ clowns."

"It's bad enough losing a child, but these children are losing their parents brutally, I just…I want to help them. I haven't helped anyone in what seems like a long, long time and I need to do this—for everyone." I said and then I swallowed. "Please don't make me…I can't talk without everything hurting."

"Lan, I'm sorry." Sam told me, reaching back and grasping my hand as Dean looked back in the rearview mirror and smiled sadly.

I just waved it off and wiped away a fallen tear. "It's okay I'm just going to nap."

xxxx

I woke up to Dean running his fingers along my arms and I smiled up at him, sitting up and resting my head on his shoulder. He stroked my cheek softly and kissed me, his lips lingering against mine even when the kiss ended. I kissed his hand and smiled again, resting my forehead against his.

"Why are you being so sweet?" I asked him.

He shrugged a little. "I can't be sweet?"

"Thank you." I told him, and kissed him swiftly before I got out of the car and looked at Sam. "More murders?"

"Yeah." Sam replied and then shuddered. "Good thing you got to sleep…clown walked by."

"Didn't need to know." I told him, hugging myself.

"We need to blend in." Dean said, and I followed his eyes to a "help wanted" sign.

I shook my head. "Fuck no."

"It's for the kids, Lanni." Dean said with a little laugh. "I promise I won't let them make you dress up as a clown."

I looked at him, then the sign, then Sam, and then back to Dean, closed my eyes, and sighed. "Fine…for the kids."

Sam and Dean nodded and then I followed him into a tent where a man was throwing knives. I looked around and felt a little uneasy in the tent, but at the same time I was trying not to make something out of what could be nothing. So I smiled and let Dean take the reins on this one since he had more to cope with than I did, and hunt would do him some good.

"Excuse me we're looking for Mr. Cooper. Have you seen him around?" Dean asked the man.

"What is that, some kind of joke?" The man asked angrily, taking off his sunglasses to show he was blind.

Dean swallowed and made a face. "Oh, God, I'm sorry."

"You think I wouldn't give my eyeteeth to see Mr. Cooper, or a sunset, or anything at all?" The man asked.

Dean turned to Sam and me. "Want to give me a little help here?"

"Not really." Sam said as I shook my head and Dean turned back to the man, slightly annoyed, smiling an annoyed smile.

"Hey Barry, is there a problem?" A little man asked.

"Yeah, this guy hates blind people." Barry said as the three of us turned to see the man that had just come in.

"No, I don't." Dean said laughing awkwardly, turning to Barry again.

The man looked upset. "Hey Buddy, what's your problem?"

"Nothing, it was just a little misunderstanding." Dean told him.

"Little? Son of a bitch." The man said, coming at Dean with something.

"No! No! No! Could someone tell me where Mr. Copper is? Please?" Dean asked in a desperate voice as Sam and I laughed.

They ended up helping us even after being upset with Dean, and we went to see Mr. Cooper and Dean looked a bit frazzled, and I put my hands in my back pockets. None of us were really happy about being here, but we were going to see this through and that was just the way that it was.

"You guys picked a hell of a time to join up. Take a seat." Mr. Cooper told us.

Dean immediately went for the regular chair, leaving Sam or I the clown chair. Sam motioned to me but I shook my head—I would rather stand then sit in that thing. It was childish, sure, but clowns creeped me out and I sure as Hell wasn't going to _sit_ on one…fake or not.

"You want my chair, Little Lady?" Mr. Cooper asked me with that creepy old man smile.

I shook my head and plastered a smile on my face. "That's okay."

"She can sit here." Dean said, patting his knee.

At first I was going to get him back for what he was doing to Sam by sitting on Sam's lap, but that would push his body closer to the clown and that would be just plain cruel. So I sat on Dean's lap and set in to telling Mr. Cooper about how much we wanted to be there and how we just needed a new circus to be at. Unfortunately Mr. Cooper could see right through our lie about working in a circus before, and told us a little story about his father and how he used to run a freak show until he was shut down, and the people that toured with him rotted in hospitals and asylums.

"You guys should go to school. Get married. Have 2.5 kids." He told us after a little while. "Live regular."

"Sir…we don't want to go to school. We don't want regular. We want this." Sam told him, leaning forward a bit, making me shift.

I nodded and found the words just spilling out. "Besides, I can't have kids. This is something different. Something that makes us feel like we're doing something good. Normal is overrated."

Mr. Cooper nodded and gave us the job, and then we walked out of his office and I stood there in silence as Dean and Sam talked about school. Sam was having second thoughts about going back because he thought their Dad would have wanted him to stay with the job, and Dean was having issues because Sam spent half his life doing what John didn't want. Then he walked off in a huff and I grabbed Sam's hand, both of us quite aware that as much as Dean wanted to ask me about my little slip-up about the kids, he was more pissed about Sam and about John.

"He's dealing with it in his own way. Let him be for a bit." I whispered to Sam.

Sam turned to me and nodded. "I know. Lana? Are you _really_ okay? You looked so damn sad when you mentioned not being able to have kids anymore and the only reason I know you can't is because the nurse told me after they stabilized you after the surgery…have you told Dean?"

"How do I do that, Sammy?" I asked him honestly. "How do I tell him that I wanted that baby _so_ much, and that all I want is to have babies with him but I can't? I…I mean _I'm_ still in a bit of denial about it."

Sam nodded and kissed my forehead to let me know he was there for me. "Together we'll be fine, Lan."

xxxx

We were working as trash collectors in reddish suits, and I sighed as I called Jen. I really liked being in constant contact with her after everything, and since I was finally talking again, I knew she deserved to hear my voices. I'd been keeping contact via text and e-mail, and she certainly deserves _so_ much more than that.

"Finally, you're talking. What got you to do that?" Jen asked as she picked up the phone.

"We're doing a case about killer clowns." I told her as I made a face.

She laughed a little. "Oh I bet you're _loving_ that."

"Sam and I are not keen on it at all actually—both a little jumpy, but not finding anything." I explained and sighed. "Earlier I was getting some irky feelings, but I dunno if its just me being paranoid or not, you know?"

"I can do some research if you want." She said and I knew she was looking for something to do since she was practically under house arrest.

I shook my head though. "No, that's okay. I just wanted to check in. Hey…how is Kevin adjusting?"

There was a small pause and then Jen spoke up. "He's okay I think—me having powers like you is kind of…overwhelming to him. My mother and your biological one were both in a tight knit group of witches—they had powers and we got those powers. He's…he wishes I had told him sooner because our kids might have powers too."

"Yeah, I was pretty sure that was going to be the toughest thing for Dean to swallow…seeing as how I haven't come clean about my father and I never plan to." I told her and then heard the familiar beep in my ear. "Hey…Dean is calling on the other line. I'll call you back, okay?"

"Okay. Just help me out…being stuck here forever…so not fun." She said, exaggerating the sentence.

I smiled. "I know. Love you…bye, Jenny."

"Bye. Love you too." She told me.

"Hello?" I asked, switching over.

"Sam and I think we found a girl who saw a disappearing clown." Dean said when he knew I was on the other line.

I nodded at that. "So we should follow the family home."

"Meet you out front?" He asked me.

"As soon as they look like they're getting ready to leave, call me." I replied.

Dean agreed with me on that so we hung up with each other and I continued to do my new 'job' until Dean called me later. Then I met up with him and Sam up front and we tailed the family—I _definitely_ didn't want another child losing its parents. It was bad enough that there were clowns behind it all, but clowns hurting children's lives? That just wasn't going to fly with me.

"How long do you think we'll have to wait?" I asked them. "I need to check in with Jen."

Sam turned to me. "I don't know. Dean, I can't believe you told him that we were writing a novel about a story of a killer clown."

"I told him an urban legend about a killer clown." Dean corrected him. "Hey! Get this. I mentioned the thing about the Bunker Brothers in '81, and before Mr. Cooper worked for the Cooper Carnival, he worked for the Bunker Brothers."

"So you think whatever happened, he brought the spirit with him?" Sam asked him as I took that information in.

Dean shrugged. "Something like that."

We sat there in the car waiting for the clown to show up, and Dean drifted off to sleep, but Sam and I were on our guard. We were not going to be outsmarted or jumped by a clown—not a chance. Then we saw the lights go on and the little girl walking around, and so Sam shook Dean and he woke up with a start, looking at the house as the girl opened the door.

We went in and shot at the clown with rock salt, but nothing happened the way it would happen if the clown were a ghost, and the parents came and we got out of there, ditching the van and walking down the street. Luckily it was broad daylight, but the duffles were kinda heavy and Sam and Dean yelled about dealing with their father's death in a different way, and Dean hurt Sam's feelings.

"Don't get all Maudlin on me man." Sam said, as he was about to call Ellen.

Dean gave Sam a look. "What do you mean?"

"I mean this strong, silent thing, of yours, its crap!" Sam pointed out.

"Oh, God." Dean replied with an eye-roll.

"I'm over it! This isn't just anybody we're talking about! This is Dad! I know how you felt about the man." Sam protested, trying to get Dean to open up about it.

Dean gave Sam another look. "Back off, all right. Just because I'm not caring and sharing like you want me too—"

"—No, no, no—this isn't what this is about Dean. I don't care how you deal with this, man, but you have to deal with this, Dean." Sam said forcefully, and I sighed as I walked in silence behind them, and Dean's head cocked a little. "Listen, I'm your brother all right, and I just want to make sure that you're okay."

"Dude, I'm okay!" Dean shouted at him. "I'm okay! I swear the next person who asks me if I'm okay, I'm gonna start throwing punches. These are your issues, quit dumping them on me."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked and they stopped after I did, facing each other as I searched for the words to say.

"I just think it's really funny, this sudden obedience to Dad. It's all like, 'What would Dad want me to do?' Sam, you spent your entire life slugging it out with the man! Hell, you picked a fight with him the last time that you saw him! And now he's dead, so now you want to make it right?" Dean was saying angrily as Sam's face changed to that of hurt. "Well I'm sorry, Sam, but you can't! It's too little, too late!"

"Why are you saying these things to me?" Sam asked in a sad voice as I closed my eyes to what Dean had just said.

Dean whirled on him. "Because I want you to be honest with yourself about this! I'm dealing with Dad's death! Are you?"

There was a long silence between all of us because we were all hurting and we couldn't seem to talk it out with each other without getting on each other's cases about it. Sam and Dean were both hurting, and both dealing in their own ways, and I couldn't get in the middle of it, but at the same time I really _hated_ seeing them fight, and as I began to walk up to them, Sam spoke up.

"I'm gonna call Ellen." Sam said, trying hard not to be hurt, but he was.

"Can we…just not fight here?" I asked them both.

Sam and Dean just walked along, and I knew Dean felt bad about what he said but he wasn't going to take it back. I swallowed as Sam called Ellen, and then I put my hand on Dean's shoulder and he stopped to turn to me.

"How come you aren't dealing with it? Normally you're the one telling us we're hiding something." Dean said before I could say anything on the subject. "You're normally the one holding all of us together and right now I kind of miss that, Lanni—I miss it a lot because me and Sam yelling at each other is just…its…"

"I'm dealing with this the same way I dealt with my parent's death at first: thinking about the good memories, thinking about how much I loved him, and how much he loved me. Thinking about every wonderful thing he did, and then the thoughts about never seeing him again come in, and I have a silent cry." I admitted to him, putting my hands in my pockets. "I just—I can't talk about it all yet. I'm having enough trouble as it is trying to talk about losing the baby and it just…it's not that time for me. Dean, please don't—I don't want a hug. It will make the tears I'm keeping at bay right now, come out." I added as he opened his arms a little bit.

He nodded, and then Sam spoke up before Dean could say anything and we began to walk on again. We found out it had to be a Rakshasa—they took on a human form, fed on human flesh, could make themselves invisible, and could only enter houses if invited. That meant that it took the form of a clown so the children would let it in so it could kill the kid's parents…I was surprised that Sam and Dean were being civil after all of that.

"They sleep on a bed of dead insects?" I asked Sam as he explained some more.

Sam nodded to me. "And every 20 to 30 years they come out again."

"Did Ellen say what could kill it?" Dean asked him.

"Legend goes a dagger made of brass." Sam said.

Dean nodded and pondered it. "I think I know where we can get those."

"Cooper worked both carnivals." I added to them, trying to piece it all together, but not entirely certain that it was Cooper behind it all.

"That picture of his father…it looked just like him." Sam agreed with a small nod.

Dean looked at him. "You think it was him?"

"I dunno. Who knows how old he is?" Sam asked him with a shrug.

"Good point, but…let's not go kill random guys, okay?" I said with a small laugh.

Sam nodded in agreement. "Before we go stabbing things into Cooper, we better make damn sure it's him."

We agreed even after Dean made a remark about Sam being a stickler for details and decided splitting up was the best option. Dean would get the blade while Sam and I tried to figure out if Cooper had bed bugs.

xxxx

As Sam and I went into Cooper's "room" that night, I looked around to see if it gave off any vibe, but it didn't. Then Sam went for the bed with a knife and I turned to him because I really didn't want to be there but I needed him to know I was in this hunt until the end. This was important—it was saving people and that was what we were about…we were hunters and we put everyone else above ourselves even when things were tough like they were now—_especially_ when things were tough.

"Honey, let's get this done quickly, please." I told him.

Then we heard a gun cock, and we turned to see Copper pointing a gun at us. "What are you doing?"

"We were just looking for—" I began.

"—You want to do those kinds of things you do them in your own place. Not mine." Cooper told us with a stern look on his face.

"That's not—" Sam began, but I took his hand.

"No, it's fine. We get it. Sorry. We get carried away sometimes. Let's go, Honey." I told Sam, dragging him along.

Sam just shut his mouth and we hurried out, both of us glad not to be in _too_ much trouble and honestly it was kind of funny. Copper that we were complete horn dogs, and it was actually a pretty damn good cover if I do say so myself.

Sam looked at me. "That was…weird."

"Not like we haven't been mistaken for a couple before." I told him with a small laugh. "Just not a couple that couldn't keep their hands to themselves."

"Very true." Sam replied and laughed with me. "It at least kept us pretty under the radar."

I nodded with him in agreement and we went to look for Dean, which wasn't so hard when he came running. He wasn't necessarily coming for us, but he looked a little spooked so we knew that something was up and hurried over to him.

"Hey!" Sam said.

"Hey." Dean told him.

Sam looked at Dean hard. "Well Cooper thinks we're peeping toms, but it's not him."

"Yeah, I kind of gathered." Dean said, looking around him. "It's the blind guy, He's around here somewhere."

"You get the—" Sam began.

"—brass knives? No. It's just been one of those days." Dean replied angrily.

He wasn't angry with Sam, he was just angry in general because it really _had_ been one of those days. None of us were really on the top of our games, but it honestly made me feel a _little_ better because my feelings from before around him had been accurate…I just needed to be more focused on the hunt than on my damn feelings and save people.

"I have an idea." Sam said after a pause and as they began to take off for the Fun House I shook my head.

"No!" I called after them. "No! I hate Fun Houses more than clowns!"

"Lanni, come on! This is no time to freak out!" Dean said as I came towards them.

I gave him a look. "It's the perfect time to freak out! You're suggesting heading into a scary, cramped place to fight an invisible guy that could kill us!"

Dean kissed me and told me he'd protect me and when I went to say something cheeky about how kissing me wasn't going to make it better, he kissed me again…and I caved. I couldn't help it, and when we got into the Fun House, Sam and I were separated from Dean, but we found some brass organ pipes which would at least help in the long run.

"Those could work." I told Sam.

Sam began to tug on them as Dean found us, and then the invisible man showed up, but we couldn't see him as he threw knives at us…I guess cause he was, I dunno, _INVISIBLE_. Dean got an arm pinned to the wall, but the knives only went through his shirt, and as Sam tugged, I tried to figure out a way to sense him—he kept moving.

"He's moving too much, I can't pin point—Dean, above you. Pull the lever so the steam whirls around." I ordered him.

As he did that, the steam began to fill the room and then Dean saw the shadow as I finally pinpointed his location. We were that much closer to taking him out and getting things back to—well as normal as they could be around here—and I whirled around as Dean's eyes widened.

"Sam! Sam, behind you!" Dean and I cried.

Sam turned around, and as he stabbed the Rakshasa with the brass pipe, Dean pulled the knife out of the wall, and the Rakshasa died as I smiled a bit. The steam began to clear as Dean put the lever back, and we looked at the remains.

"I hate Fun Houses." Dean said aloud.

"Go figure." I replied, and then we went to go and see Ellen.

It really was a job well done, but at the same time there were some unresolved issues hanging around us, and tension in the air. The three of us wanted our old, playful relationships back with each other, but that was going to take some time and I wasn't sure how we were going to fair in the end. Sam and Dean really needed to talk to each other, and I really needed to talk to them too.

When we got into the Roadhouse, Ellen was there to greet us and we sat at the bar, Dean resting his hand on mine and our fingers interlacing. Ellen just smiled at the two of us when she glanced at the hand holding and I blushed a little—she obviously knew about our relationship somehow. All I knew right then was that I needed to be with Dean, and I wasn't about to let him go.

"You boys did one Hell of a job. Your father would be proud." Ellen said, handing them beers. "And you…you did great too—you should feel proud of what you did."

She handed me a beer too as I nodded, but looking at it made me realize that I could have it…that I wasn't able to have kids. I bit my lip and Ellen glanced at me, Dean squeezing my hand and looking at me as I opened my mouth to say something and then shut it. He opened his mouth to say something as I stood up, but Ellen beat him to it.

"Lana, are you all right?" She asked me in a motherly voice.

I smiled at her sadly. "You're great, Ellen, and I appreciate the hospitality, but I just lost a baby a little over a week ago and I just…I can't."

"Lana, I didn't know, I'm sorry." Ellen told me as I motioned to the beer.

"It's okay, you didn't know." I said, glancing at Dean as he swallowed. "Baby, I need fresh air, so…"

Dean nodded at me and I kissed his hand, leaving as Jo showed up to sit down next to him, Sam talking to Ash. Ash was showing Sam that he was on top of things and letting him know that if any of the signs or omens showed up, he'd be on it—he'd know what was going on and he would contact us.

"You know I have a couple of beds if you guys want to stay. I'm assuming you two have your own beds and you share with Lana, and that works for me—the offer's open." Ellen Sam and Dean as I stood just outside the door of the Roadhouse.

"Thanks, but no. I have something I need to finish." Dean told her.

I wiped the tears away and took a couple of deep breaths as Dean and Sam came out of the Roadhouse, and then got into the car and we went back to Bobby's. Dean set right in on working on his car, and I sat outside near it, on the ground, doing what I did while I was here before—reading and thinking over things. I thought about what the three of us could possibly do now that he was gone, and I looked up as Sam came over and stood next to me as I sat there, Dean working away to work through his pain. Sam wanted to talk and he knew he was going to get his wish, but at the same time we both knew this wasn't going to be some sweet, brotherly moment.

Sam put his hands on his hips and took a deep breath. "You were right."

"About what?" Dean asked, getting up from fixing one tire and going around to the other side to fix another.

"About me and Dad." Sam said, and Dean stood up to look at him. "I'm sorry that the last time I was with him, I tired to pick a fight. I'm sorry that I spent most of my life angry at him. I mean, for all I know, he died thinking I hate him. So you're right: what I'm doing right now is too little…it's too late. I miss him, man…and I feel guilty as Hell…and I'm not all right…not at all…but neither are you that much I know." Sam told him as the tears welled up in my eyes and Sam nodded. "I'll let you get back to work."

Then Sam turned and walked away, going inside, and Dean stood there for a moment watching him go as I wiped away fallen tears. I hated to see the two of them so hurt like this and it got even more heartbreaking when Dean took the crobar he was holding and he began to hit his car repeatedly, breaking a window, and then beating the trunk. He was letting it all out, and though he was hurting the car, it was the only piece of his Dad he had left…the only piece of his Dad he could let his anger and pain out on.

When he was done, he stood there hurt and sad, and I went over and I hugged him because I really didn't know what else to do. He resisted briefly, but then he let me wrap my arms around him and I knew he wanted to cry, but he wasn't going to—he was stronger than me because the hugging was really getting to me. When we pulled away, he looked at me and I nodded a little.

"I love you." I told him sincerely, shrugging a little and smiling through my tears.

Then he kissed me and though I was caught off guard, he needed this, and I returned his kiss with a passion we hadn't shared in a long while, and when we pulled away, we were slightly breathless. Dean stroked my hair, and clenched his jaw a little, trying to relax but not being able to with all of the pain he couldn't seen to get off of his chest in words.

"Let's go to the room and try and work through the pain in a more pleasing, physical manner." I whispered to him.

"I can't let you do that, Lanni." Dean replied, running his thumb along my cheek as he cupped my face lovingly.

"Sure you can, Dean. I mean we both need this—it's an outlet." I explained.

Dean smiled a little, and then he shook his head. "Not the right time, but thank you for thinking of me…you and I need time…for all of it."

I nodded slowly, smiling as he stroked my cheek a little more and I kissed him again. He and I were so broken, and for him it was mostly over his father, and for me it was mostly over the baby. I didn't know how either of us were going to get through this, but I knew then more than ever that we needed each other—that together was the only way that we were going to survive any of this.

"Lanni, thank you _so _much for thinking of me." Dean said softly, a little lost in though.

"Always." I promised with a nod.

Dean swallowed. "Do you want to let anything out? Sam and I have."

"I love your father like my own." I told him, smiling slowly and then putting my hands in my pockets, and looking at the ground. "He was so watchful over me…so loving of me…so wonderful to me. He gave me advice about us, gave me advice about how to keep everything in check, talked about my parents like the wonderful people they were. He treated me like more than a pretty girl with freaky powers like most people treated me—he was my family, and now he's gone…and he's not coming back. You know I never got to thank him? Not for anything and…" I said, but I trailed off as the tears came out and I wiped them away before Dean held me to him and I began to cry.

"He knew you loved him." He whispered against my hair as he embraced me. "I know he knew you loved him."

"Thanks for that." I told him and then I got choked up. "God, I feel so bad because mostly I just…I wanted that baby so badly, Dean."

Dean pulled back and looked me in the eye. "Don't feel bad about mourning the baby more than my father, Lanni—you were closer to the baby and I understand that, all right? Dad knew that you were thankful and he knew how much you needed him. You and I were going to have a baby…a baby that I was really growing fond of."

"Dean, I—" I tried as he got tears in his eyes, but he cut me off.

"—Lanni this doesn't have to be the end of that dream for us, you know. You stayed, and you've been honest, and you've been letting me in and you're my family, all right? When I'm with you, I'm home and God you know how I hate getting chick flicky like this but it's true. Someday, I will give you that family and I've never said that to anyone." He admitted and I lost it.

He was looking at me questioningly as the tears just started to pour out and I ran my fingers along his cheeks, caressing them softly. I looked into his eyes and I bit my lip, trying to stop it from quivering so much as I tried to find the words to say. When he asked me what was wrong I knew there was no way that I could keep it from him any longer, and though it was breaking me, I had to let it out.

"Baby, we're never having kids." I told him, and swallowed the painful lump in my throat. "I mean for a while I believed we'd be fine, and we'd have a baby and we'd find the demon, and kill it, and do what we needed and then eventually, things would work themselves out. Then I saw Alexian, who gave me hope when I was dying after Chelsea shot me, and I thought maybe we could…but…the bullet…they had to remove a significant part of my uterus…I can't conceive, Dean. They said it's going to be damn near impossible."

Dean stroked my hair. "I…I don't know what to say, Lanni."

"You don't have to say anything. You were on board because you had to be. I mean I know you actually wanted it, and I attribute that to me, as vain as that sounds, but now you don't have to feel like you have to be a family man…because I can't give you kids anyway…I can't give them to myself." I told him, the tears streaming down my face as I sniffled a little, trying to take in a breath through my nose. "I wanted to have babies with you so bad, Dean. I didn't want to scare you and talk about that, but I just…I was so excited—I was _so_ happy to be having your baby, and now…now I won't ever be in that situation again."

"I love you." Dean told me strongly.

He kissed me, both of us sad, but glad that we had talked it out and were letting each other in. All that mattered right then was that we were being honest with each other, and though the chick flick moments between us would eventually go back to being pretty non-existent, right now we were coping, and we were coping together. I knew then that no matter what happened, Dean and I would be able to get through anything…we were in love, and as dangerous as that could be in our profession, we couldn't handle being alone.

"I'm going to let you get back to your baby." I told him, smiling sadly and kissing him swiftly.

Dean nodded and wiped away some of my tears with his thumbs. "All right."

I smiled and kissed him one more time, heading to the door to go in and then turning around to face him. "Hey, Dean...I love you too."

**Note: So this chapter has a little bit of happiness in it…but a lot of angst. I actually cried writing some of it—shows you how attached I am, lol. Hope you liked it because it was 20 pages! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	21. Gray Areas and Committments

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay so this chapter is still kinda angsty, but has some comedy and romance.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

I woke up at Bobby's and tried hard to find a reason to get out of bed. No one was around, because Sam and Dean had gone out for food, and Bobby was out buying more parts for something or other. So I sat up and threw the covers off of me, looking down at my pajama pants and short sleeved button-up shirt, and got out of bed, getting a little more dressed since I was going to be walking around Bobby's place—that meant putting a bra on.

After I'd done that and grabbed a snack from my duffle, I looked out a window in the room and heard the door open. I turned around to see Dean coming in, and I smiled at him and he sat on the bed and motioned to it, so I sat down on his lap, and wrapped my arms around his neck, peering at him. He smiled at me as I ran my fingers through his hair, and I had a feeling it was going to be a playful morning—our chick flick moments were getting less and less and soon we'd be back to our cute, horny selves.

I leaned in a little but didn't kiss him. "Good morning."

"Morning—I thought I could make something up to you today." He told me with a smile.

"You mean like greet me with coffee?" I asked him excitedly.

Dean chuckled and kissed me softly. "Well greet you, yes. However, I didn't bring you coffee."

I faked a shocked look. "No coffee?"

"No coffee." Dean told me, and then leaned in and brushed his lips against my ear. "But Sam went off to try and keep Bobby on his errand for another good couple of hours…"

I smiled shifted my weight on his lap which made him grunt a little pleasantly. "Well now why would they leave the two of us crazy kids alone? Especially when I think its about time you took me for a test ride…"

Dean just smiled, and then he kissed me and we sat there on the bed kissing for a good long while. As the kiss grew between us, Dean's fingers began to play with the buttons on my shirt, and once my shirt was unbuttoned, I slid it off of me, and Dean's lips traveled down to my neck, and he sucked on my skin softly.

Sighing happily, I ran my fingers through Dean's hair and then I played with the bottom of his t-shirt, and slid his shirt off of him, smirking as he bit my skin lovingly and then pulled away. I kissed his neck softly, sucking on it as he ran his fingers along my back, and then laid me on the bed and climbed on top of me. After giving him a hickie, I pulled away from his neck and we both looked at each other and smiled.

"I believe I see the clasp in the front." Dean told me with a chuckle, running his knuckle along the swell of my breast, glancing at my bra.

I took a breath. "I believe that means I mean business."

"Have I ever told you how much fun you are?" Dean asked me, a grin on his face.

"No." I laughed and smiled. "But I will take fun over awkward any day, I promise you that."

Dean rolled his eyes and kissed me again with a smile on his face, me running my fingers along his cheeks, trying to draw him in closer. He smiled a little into the kiss, and when his tongue touched my lips, I parted them to allow his tongue to slip into my mouth. Moaning softly, I felt his hand travel down from my hair to my breast, and I jumped slightly, laughing.

"Dean…" I whispered.

He smirked at me and left his hand where it was whispering back, "Lanni…"

He kissed me, squeezing my breast softly, and I giggled a little, continuing to kiss him. We hadn't gotten to just be playful in a long while and I was pretty certain that if I screwed this up neither of us would get where we wanted, so I ran my hands down his naked torso, getting to his jeans and pausing. After a moment of stroking his abs, I had to suck in a little air between kissed as Dean squeezed again and then ran his thumb along the bra cup right across my nipple. To even the score, I dipped my fingers under his waistband and our breathing started to change.

"Why in the Heavens do you wear a belt?" I asked him suddenly, feeling the need to get him naked pretty much right then and there. "Don't get me wrong, I enjoy working for it, but I'm not so good with belts."

Dean chuckled and dragged his lips down my chest, raking his teeth along my breasts and I closed my eyes and tilted my head back into the pillows. Oh if he wanted to take the reins then he could take the reins—this felt far too good. I was a little surprised when I felt his tongue and it made my whole body tingle and I knew I couldn't take it anymore—he was making me act like a cat in heat…damn him!

"Okay, pants off now." I said, stroking his hair and biting my lip as he chuckled and it rumbled against my chest. "Where the Hell do you learn your moves?"

"I think it's safe to say that—" Dean began but we both heard a noise and the door to the room opened.

We both turned to see Sam standing there and I blushed and for once actually wished Sam would just turn around and step back out. I wanted Dean to continue what he was doing, and though he was all for making my phone conversations awkward, Dean wasn't into doing things to me when his brother was standing there. In order to alleviate the embarrassment, I let out a small laugh and then sat up when Dean did, covering my chest with a pillow and smiling awkwardly at Sam.

"I thought you said you'd keep Bobby busy." Dean told his brother with a sigh.

"I said I'd _try_—he really wanted to get back." Sam said with a shrug. "Thought I'd warn you two at least that we're back."

Dean and I got up and Sam just smirked and then walked out of the room while Dean and I grabbed our shirts. We both paused a moment, neither of us really wanting to put them on and the wheels turning in our heads. Unfortunately, neither of us could think of a way to continue where we had been headed before. If it had been Jen's house I just would have called out that Dean and I were going to have sex…but I didn't know Bobby that well so oh well for us, I guess…

"I guess you'll have to make it up to me later—today it's time to work on your baby some more." I told him. "And I was referring to your car since you can't work on me anymore."

Dean chuckled and nodded as he pulled his shirt on, and then my phone rang. "Who is it?"

"Who's the only person that really calls me?" I asked him, smirking a bit.

Dean smiled at me. "Jen. Pick it up."

I pulled my shirt on and then picked up the phone and rested it on my shoulder as I buttoned up my shirt. "Hey, honey!"

"I'm coming and Kevin doesn't know." Jen told me in a soft whisper. "Meet me at the airport so I can get to Bobby's?"

"Are you sure that you—" I sighed when she said my name in a chastising way and nodded. "Yeah. Sure thing. Um…I'll see what car Bobby has up and running."

Dean looked at me. "When will she get here?"

I turned to him. "I don't know."

"A couple days." Jen said in yet another whisper, which meant she didn't want Kevin to hear her on the phone and he was close.

"A couple days." I told him.

"By then she'll be ready." Dean smiled, and then left the room as Sam came in.

I watched his ass as he left and frowned a little. "Call me before you get on the plane in a couple days, Jenny."

"I will, Lan. Bye for now. I hear him coming." She whispered, and then there was a click and I hung up.

I laughed a little at my best friend's odd behavior and then headed out to the living room area and sat with Sam on the couch. Dean had already headed out to the Impala to try and fix her up some more after his brutal beating on her a couple days before, and Bobby was undoubtedly studying something. I had actually grown quite close to Bobby during the time we'd been staying here, and I was thankful for him.

"You looked kind of annoyed with me earlier." Sam told me with a small laugh.

I smiled at him and snuggled against him. "I wasn't annoyed with _you_, I was just really looking forward to having a little sex."

"So you're feeling okay about that then?" Sam asked me, running his fingers through my hair. "I know you weren't feeling so okay with it a couple days ago."

"Yeah…I'm getting a little better about it, I think." I admitted with a nod. "Thanks for looking out for me, Sammy."

Sam smiled at me and kissed my forehead, and then we watched some TV and hung out with each other all day, and then we got a hunt. Dean was actually really excited about that too, because he got his baby fixed sooner than he had anticipated. She looked so shiny and new, and a total machine, and I knew that Dean was in a _much_ better mood.

"Whoo! Listen to her purr! Have you ever heard anything so sweet?" Dean asked Sam as I IMed Jen in the backseat like the old days.

Sam laughed merrily. "You know if you two need a room, Dean, just tell me."

"Oh don't listen to him, Baby." Dean told the Impala. "He doesn't understand us."

"You're in a good mood." Sam said with another laugh.

"And why shouldn't I be? I have my car, and a case, Lanni and I are mostly patched up…things are looking up." Dean admitted as I smiled in the back.

When Sam mentioned that Red Ridge was about another 300 miles away, Dean said, "good" and then he sped the car up. He was incredibly happy, and when we got where we needed to go, Sam and Dean wanted to talk to the Sheriff, and so they dressed up as reporters and I sat in the car and stuck a piece of gum in my mouth—I wasn't quite up for that just yet.

"You do some more research and we'll see what the Sheriff knows that might help." Dean told me, stroking my hair.

I smiled at how well he knew me. "Ask about a connection between the cows and the murders—it may be a Satanic ritual."

xxxx

"I think that _someone _wants a certain someone else to go with them to the morgue." I told Dean as I fixed his tie in the motel room when he and Sam got back.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Someone's trying to get all mushy on me."

"Oh, our chick flick ended? Boo-Hoo." I said, pouting my lip and smiling when he bit my pouting lip softly. "We could still be a thriller…"

"I'm only letting you come with us because that skirt hugs you the right way." Dean replied and laughed when I smacked his arm.

I rolled my eyes at him. "I do _not_ know why I love you so much."

Dean smiled and then we went to the morgue, Dean making up an excuse to get the guy to get out of the room. Then he and Sam argued a bit over who was going to open up the box with the head in it. I rolled my eyes as I laughed a little, and felt pretty good about the three of us actually trying to move on.

"Oh my God, I'll do it, you big babies." I told them, and took the box over to the table and Dean followed.

"Just in case you pass out." He said, but I knew by the look on his face he didn't want to be labeled as a wuss.

I nodded and took a breath. "So hopefully we get a backwards pentagram on the forehead, or we're back at square one."

"No pentagram." Dean said as I opened up the box and Sam came over. "See if there's anything down her throat, kind of like that moth in 'Silence of the Lambs'."

He and Sam argued over it a bit more and I sighed. "Boys, come on. This is ridiculous."

"Why don't you do it then?" Dean asked me, motioning to the severed head.

"Because there is _no_ way I'm doing that." I told him with an indignant scoff.

He sighed, and then Sam checked her throat. "Dean…get me a bucket."

"You find something?" Dean asked him as I gagged a little and made a face.

"No, I'm gonna puke." He said.

I nodded and looked over what he was doing, trying to keep the vomit at bay. The only thing worse than dealing with the severed head, was dealing with sticking our hand into her mouth. Then Dean and I both saw the same thing and Dean spoke up.

"Wait a minute, lift her lip up again." Dean ordered Sam.

Sam shot him an angry look. "You want me to puke, don't you?"

"No, something's there." I said, and then we found a vampire fang when Sam did what Dean told him to. "Oh my God—she wasn't an innocent girl…she was a vampire."

"That changes things." Sam pondered out loud.

Dean gave Sam a look. "You think?"

We got into the car and then we drove to a bar and went inside, and I was getting weird vibes from a guy inside. We made eye contact, and then I looked away and followed Sam and Dean up to the bar. If I was getting weird vibes, then it was best to stick with the two men that I actually trusted with my life.

"What can I get you?" The bartender asked them.

"Three beers, please." Dean replied after glancing at me to make sure that was all right and I just kid of nodded slowly.

Sam spoke up. "We're looking for some people."

"Sure…it's hard being lonely." The bartender said. "Though she probably gives you a run."

I looked at him with a glare and Sam and Dean looked at each other, wondering who was going to step in and how. At first I just expected Sam to because normally he stood up for me first, but Dean was my boyfriend. Why wasn't he getting all jealous and stepping in for my honor? Oh he was _definitely_ going to pay for pausing and actually _thinking_ about how to react! He should have just simply _reacted_!

"I think it would be best if you showed the lady some respect." Dean told the bartender, his eyes flashing a little.

I nodded. "I am _not_ a whore."

"Yeah, that's not what we meant." Sam said, and pulled out a fifty as the bartender looked me up and down and I crossed my arms over my chest in an attempt to hide myself from his gaze…it wasn't working.

The bartender took the fifty, and then Sam asked if there were some people who had moved in about six months ago—probably real party animals that slept during the day and partied at night. When we figured out where we were supposed to go, the 'Barker Farm', I chugged a little of the beer and then went out with the boys and made a rather upset face.

"I can't believe he said that!" I told them as we left and then turned to Dean. "And what the _Hell_ was with the hesitation to defend me?"

Dean smiled a little. "You know you don't always like it when I step in for you—sometimes you like taking care of it yourself and the guy was an ass. If he had tried to touch you, I would have knocked him on the floor and he didn't come right out and tell you to your face that you were anything really derogative—I mean you give _me_ a run."

"Well this time I wanted you to be jealous boyfriend." I said, though I smiled because sometimes I really _did _want to handle jerks on my own and I nodded slowly. "Now if you care to know…" I looked around and lowered my voice, coming closer to them, "…we're being followed."

"I know." Sam replied with a nod. "Let's go towards the alley."

We walked down in the alley and then hid until the man I had made eye contact with caught up with us, and we backed him against the wall. He had dark skin and his eyes were dangerous but he definitely wasn't a demon or vampire or anything. Still, I wasn't getting good vibes off of him, and I knew in the long run, trusting my instincts was the absolute best choice.

"I'm not a vampire." He said as I said the same thing about him.

I nodded at him. "If he was, I would have gotten that from him—he's just a creep."

"I believe her, but just to be on the safe side…" Dean told the man.

I smiled at him as he and Sam forced the man to show that he didn't have retractable teeth, and then we introduced ourselves and went to his car and saw his collection of knives. His name was Gordon Walker, and he knew a lot about the Winchesters, and about my parents and me, and that creeped me out a bit—I didn't like knowing everyone knew me!

Still, he was a hunter and so we offered to help him with the hunt and he turned us down. He wouldn't tell us anything about the nest, and he wouldn't let us help him finish off the vampires. Dean was itching for a hunt, but I was trying to figure this guy out—he seemed off to me. I mean he wasn't anything supernatural, but I certainly didn't trust him and it was kind of annoying me.

"I'm sorry guys. I'm a 'go-it-alone' type of guy, and I'm not quite sure she could handle it." Gordon said with a smile in my direction.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! First I'm a whore, and now I can't handle vampires? You know what, I've killed more demons than you can even imagine. Hell, you know enough about me to know that I've killed more demons than most hunters, including the old school vamps." I told him and waved my hands in the air.

Gordon just smiled and got into his car, and I frowned, Dean speaking up. "He didn't mean anything by it."

"Are you kidding? It's like Pick on Lana Day!" I shot at him. "I'll be in the car if you want or need me. You know? The poor helpless girl?"

And with that, I hurried over to the car and then got into it, knowing I was being childish, but really wanting to prove that I could handle myself. I was no longer as upset about Dean not standing up for me sooner either—I could have chewed that guy out all on my own. Now, out of nowhere, some hunter shows up who knows who I am and he actually had the _audacity_ to say I _couldn't_ handle vampires?

That was just it! I was going to show _all _of them that I could do it, and I got out of the car as the boys came over and I straightened out my shirt. They both recognized the look on my face and smiled, nodding at me when I told them that Gordon was going to need our help. So we headed out to find him and when we got there, I helped Dean beat on the vampire before Dean seemed to have it under control.

I was feeling pretty proud of myself, and a little turned on when Dean got the vampire over near a giant chain saw, and started to cut his head off. At the same time, I was feeling a little worried like Sam was because of the look of bloodlust in Dean's eyes—he liked killing the vampire a little _too_ much. Still…Dean with blood splattered all over his face while he was out of breath? It doesn't take a genius to know that that mental image is seriously gasm-worthy.

"Well, I guess I'm going to have to buy you guys that drink." Gordon said panting because he had gotten beaten up. "And you…you are amazing, Alana—I take back what I said before."

I nodded at him because he had better. "Please, call me Lana. Besides, if you're going to buy us some drinks like you promised before you drove off leaving me feeling like crap, you should call me Lana."

So the four of us went out to our cars and I grabbed a couple of washcloths from my duffle and handed them to Dean, who chuckled. I rolled my eyes because he was feeling pretty damn good about himself, but I giggled when he reached out and grabbed my ass, pulling my body close to his as he wiped himself off with his free hand.

"My baby thinks I'm sexy all blood-splattered." Dean whispered, leaning his face in.

I nodded at him. "I do, but…you smell like dead person and that's not as sexy."

"Careful, Baby, I like it when you make fun of me." Dean replied, leaning in a little further.

"Stop being all hot and tempting!" I told him quickly and pushed on him. "I love it, and I'd like to take you in the backseat right now, but I should remind you that you just met a new hunter and you're being all PDA right now."

Dean shrugged. "I'm marking my territory."

"Oh, cause I _belong_ to you, huh?" I asked him, raising my eyebrows.

"No…but you _are_ my girlfriend and you said before you wanted me to be all jealous boyfriend." Dean reminded me and then snuck a kiss from me.

I smiled at him and swatted his ass as he turned away and then shrugged a little when Gordon looked our direction and assessed it all. He was obviously convinced that Dean and I were sleeping together, and I didn't mind him thinking that—it was definitely true. Besides, I could totally get used to the PDA because I liked other women knowing that Dean was in fact _my_ boyfriend, and not _their_ fun night.

I got into the car and we went to the bar, but Sam and I weren't having a very good time, actually. Dean and Gordon were having a little too much fun talking about the decapitation, and to be honest, I was kind of upset with the way Dean was acting. It was clearly obvious that Sam wasn't enjoying the conversation, but Dean was dealing with it his own way, and since Sam and I were finding the way he and Gordon were acting kind of rude, we went back to the motel by ourselves and sat down.

"You okay?" I asked Sam as he sighed.

Sam shrugged a little. "I don't know…I kind of hate what's going on around here, right now—did you _hear _them talking? They see hunts in black and white and that's not how they are! I mean look at you!"

"Yeah…Dean is being influenced by Gordon to view this as just any other hunt and I'm clearly…I mean I'm a supernatural being and he isn't hunting me." I agreed with a nod. "It's probably only because I put out, too."

Sam kissed my forehead. "Stop selling yourself short, Lan—we love you and _that's_ the only difference."

"I love you too, Sammy." I assured him.

He smiled at me and then sat on the couch to watch some TV and I quickly got into the shower and then when I was done washing my hair and everything, I got out and wrapped a towel around me and used another one to dry my hair. Sam wasn't in the room anymore, so I just assumed he had gone out to get something, so I got dressed and then I felt like something was wrong—like I was being watched.

"You fucking blood suckers, just come out." I told them.

I knew they were there, but it wasn't until Sam came in that we got ambushed and then knocked out. When I woke up, I was gagged, and so was Sam, and we were somewhere with vampires. A woman came to us and told us they drank from cattle—told us not to hunt them because they weren't like the others. Then she had her men take us back without a scratch, but we were blind folded so we wouldn't know exactly where they were.

When we were returned, Sam and I looked at each other and then we knew we had to make a decision. On the one hand they were vampires, but neither of us wanted to hunt them because they weren't hurting us and their story about feeding on cattle was actually checking out. So, the only thing left to do for Sam and I was to tell Dean that it was time for us to pack up and move on.

"We tell them." I told Sam with a shrug, crossing my arms over my chest. "We tell him, we pack up, we move on and find another hunt somewhere else."

Sam nodded in agreement. "We just tell Dean—I don't trust Gordon…and neither does Ellen."

"I don't trust him either, so now that _that's_ settled…we'll have to talk to him alone. Gordon…I don't know—I'm blaming him for this." I pointed to my hair and Sam smiled a little even though the circumstances were grave.

"You look fine." Sam assured me.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "I look like a mangy cat, but thanks for trying to make me feel better, Sammy."

Sam just went inside and came out with Dean and I took a deep breath. "We wanted to tell you that we just can't deny our feelings for each other anymore."

Dean gave me a look. "You wanna be serious?"

"Sure—Sammy and I don't think we should do this hunt." I told Dean plainly, shrugging at him.

"What?" Dean asked. "Where were you?"

I took a deep breath. "_In_ the nest."

"Where is it? How many did you kill?" Dean asked hurriedly, ready for action.

"None." Sam replied with a shrug.

"What?" Dean asked, and I turned to see Gordon listening to us, but I felt the tension between Sam and Dean and it was more important to me—especially since Dean had anger in his voice.

I made a face. "They're not like other vampires—they haven't been killing humans."

"Then how do they stay alive? Or undead?" Dean asked me matter-a-factly.

"The cattle mutilations—they haven't been feeding on human blood." Sam explained.

Dean was looking at Sam and I like we were crazy and honestly at first we had thought that we were crazy. The thing was, Sam and I didn't see this hunt in black and white like Dean and Gordon did, and I was pretty certain that we were all really about to fight. I hated fighting with them, but there was really no way that I could avoid this one because Dean was being ridiculous.

"Is that what they told you?" Dean asked Sam and I, looking at us like we were stupid. "And you believed them?"

Sam sighed and nodded. "Look at us—there's not a scratch on us."

"Even so, we need to find them and waste them." Dean told us, shrugging at him.

Then he and Sam began to argue about Gordon and his judgment, and then Sam accused Dean of filling the hole from their Dad with Gordon who was a poor substitute after Dean got mad about Sam calling Ellen without telling him. Sam dragging Ellen into it and trying to get Dean to actually verbally open up to him about their father was not a good idea in the long run, and I gasped as Dean punched Sam in the face and I felt my anger boil up. I knew Dean felt like he had found someone to look up to and trust, but that was uncalled for and I wasn't sure I was liking Gordon's influence on Dean in the slightest.

"Dean?" I asked, as Sam was recovering.

"What?" He asked angrily, and I punched him hard in the face and his head jerked, and then he looked at me angrily.

Then as he and Sam argued some more, I went inside the motel and grabbed a towel to finish with my hair—the testosterone war was killing me, and my hand hurt. I knew I bruised my knuckles and I sighed, wishing that I hadn't left Gordon alone too long because Lord knew he was doing something that was going to make everything that much worse.

"He snaked the keys." I heard Dean say.

"Yeah…he's probably already headed out there." I told them, taking a breath. "He was listening to our conversation outside."

We hurried to the nest, and found Gordon torturing Lenore, the vampire who let Sam and I go, with her one poison—Dean Man's blood. We found out that he knew they were nice, and he just wanted to kill them—wanted to kill them because he hated them…because his sister had been turned, and he had killed her. He didn't believe in shades of gray as Sam and I did…only in the black and white of the hunt. Then he cut Sam with the knife and had him at bay, Dean cocking the gun and pointing it at him as I started to use a spell.

"Don't even try it, Alana." Gordon told me. "You think I can't counteract whatever it is you're about to do—I'm proving a point, here."

As he squeezed Sam's arm, he dripped blood into her mouth and though she hissed, she resisted it. Lenore resisted the temptation, which made Sam and I even more convinced we should all just leave because she was proving our point. So, Sam and I helped her outside, and I heard the fighting inside, knowing that Dean was pretty pissed that he had gotten played—he wasn't really okay with that.

I looked Lenore over. "You get Lenore out of here…I need to…I need to think."

"He won't hold you hitting him over you forever." Sam told me, supporting Lenore's weight.

"I need to practice these powers of mine." I replied, waving it off. "I'll be all right, I promise."

Sam nodded at me and then he took the car and headed off with Lenore to keep her safe. I sat outside on the porch, and I pretended to practice with my powers, but I really sat and thought about things. There are gray areas—I had been looking at the Chelsea situation in black and white, but really…really Chelsea was mad at Jen and I for treating her like she didn't matter—and she did. We just had to show her that again…because it had been _our_ fault that she had gotten turned in the first place.

Chelsea was the reason I had lost my baby because if I hadn't gotten shot where she had shot me, the surgery wouldn't have happened. I was never going to be able to forgive her for making it so that I would never be able to have children, but Jen and I had gotten her killed…_I_ had gotten her killed. I had to figure out what Chelsea was up to, what she wanted, and how I was going to be able to take her out.

xxxx

Come sunrise, Sam came back and I looked up at him, smiling. "Hey, Sammy."

"You okay?" He asked me, sitting down next to me.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…just a lot of thinking."

Sam nodded to and then looked at the door. "You been in there?"

"No, I haven't—I figured Dean could use his space and torture Dean all on his own." I replied. "Besides…I punched him in the face."

"Let's go, Lan." Sam told me, standing up and holding out his hand for mine.

I looked up into Sam's eyes and nodded, taking his hand and letting him pull me to my feet, both of us going in as Dean talked to Gordon. Sam assured Dean that Lenore and all the others got safely and Dean nodded, not really looking my way and I understood that. When Sam asked if Dean was ready to go, he said "almost", and then he started to say "goodbye" to Gordon before he punched him so hard the chair fell backwards, and then he sniffed and cleared his throat.

"Okay, I'm good now, we can go." He said merrily.

Sam and I chuckled a little, and then followed him, and Dean wiped some blood off of his mouth and started getting a little antsy. He wanted to apologize, but he was Dean Winchester, and even though Sam was his brother, Dean really only seemed to apologize to me. Then again, I was technically his 'lover', so it was really the only reason he was so nice to me, and besides…I had punched my poor, hot man in my face.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Sam?" Dean asked his brother.

Sam turned to him. "Yeah?"

"Clock me one." Dean told him.

"What?" Sam asked skeptically, wondering if he heard right.

"Come on, I won't even hit you back, let's go." Dean said as Sam chuckled.

Sam shook his head and then answered Dean after a pause. "No."

"Let's go. You get a freebee…hit me, come on." Dean told him.

I smiled a little at Dean's way of apologizing to Sam for hitting him in the face, and Sam laughed too. Dean was just trying to make everything good between them, but Sam had already forgiven him because of how Dean was feeling about their father. In fact, since John died, Sam had been cutting Dean a lot more slack these days than I was and I felt a little bad about that.

"You look like you went 12 rounds with a block of cement, Dean. I'll take a rain check." Sam told him, walking away, and I followed him.

"I wish we never took this job. It jacked everything up." Dean said, walking to the car as well.

Sam looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"Think about all the hunts, Sam. What if we killed things that didn't deserve killing?" Dean asked him slowly. "I mean what if you and Lanni are right about these gray areas?"

I sighed and climbed into the backseat as Sam tried to convince Dean that since he didn't kill the vampire that was all that mattered—he saw the gray area. Then Sam mentioned me and how I was a gray area, and it just meant we had to be more objective…we had to make sure that we knew the whole story before swooping in and taking people out.

"'Cause you're a pain in my ass." Dean said, sounding slightly teary-eyed.

Sam chuckled. "I guess I might have to stick around to be a pain in the ass then."

"Thanks." Dean said after a pause as Sam opened up the passenger side door.

"Don't mention it." Sam told him, getting into the car.

After a long moment, Dean climbed in and we drove off, heading for a motel and getting ourselves a room. Dean and I hadn't actually talked to each other since I had punched him in the face and Sam could sense the tension on my end so he decided to go and grab something to eat and Dean sat on our motel bed. I took a deep breath and put my hands in my back pockets, standing in front of him and biting my lip as he looked up at me.

"Do you want to hit me?" I asked Dean softly.

"What?" Dean asked me with a chuckle.

I cocked my head to one side. "Do you want a freebee? I mean you deserve it—I hit your beautiful face."

Dean pulled me down on his lap and I smiled at him as he stroked my hair and then reached for his duffle. I was kind of confused as he started to rummage through it, and even _more_ confused when he pulled out a small jewelry box. My mouth gaped open a little when he opened it and pulled out a silver band with an engraving in it and held it up.

"Even though you punched me in the face, Lanni…Jen and I have been talking and she told me I needed to make sure that you knew how much you meant to me." Dean told me with a shrug.

I swallowed. "Dean…is that…a _promise_ _ring_?"

"This is really chick flicky for me, so can you just put it on or _not_ put it on?" Dean asked me.

"You are _so_ romantic." I told him, grinning at him and holding out my hand for him to put the ring on my finger. "You better be putting that ring on my finger, Deano…because if you don't, I'm gonna have to hurt you—romance works with me, just so you know."

Dean laughed and slipped the ring onto my left ring finger, kissing me softly as I grinned at him. He actually loved me enough to commit—even if it wasn't actually a proposal—he loved me enough to care about how I felt. When I started to slip off my button-up top, we both sighed, Sam walking into the room and Dean flopping back on the bed. I had to laugh a little, even though I really just wanted to have sex with my under the radar, romantic boyfriend.

"Sorry, Baby…maybe later." I told Dean with a small pat on his abs.

**Note: I've been on a roll so this was fun. Hope you guys liked it! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	22. No More Crutch For Us

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**So I seem to be on quite a roll with this one, huh?**

**I hope you guys are all still enjoying it!**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

"Dean, seriously!" I told him in a harsh whisper as his fingers traveled up my leg. "Sam could walk in here any moment and I am _trying _to talk to Jen!"

Jen laughed loudly through the phone. "He's just upset you guys haven't had sex in a few weeks."

"Yes, Jen, I know that—Dean!" I chastised.

"Dean, stop being such a perv." Sam told him with a laugh, coming back into the motel room with coffee.

Dean sighed. "Thanks for ruining my fun, Sammy."

Sam rolled his eyes as I continued to talk to Jen on the phone and though I was feeling a little bad about letting her come and not telling Kevin. In fact I wasn't the only one feeling bad about it—Sam was pretty upset with me about it too. In the long run I knew that in putting myself in the middle and being thrilled about her coming, I was going to piss Kevin off, and though that was bad, I was willing to risk it.

"Seriously? You're letting her come, several months pregnant, and without Kevin knowing?" Sam asked me. "I haven't changed your mind yet?"

I shrugged and sat on the edge of the bed after hanging up with Jen. "She's my best friend, Sammy—I'm gonna let her come and visit."

"I mean, why not?" Dean asked aloud, grabbing a coffee and sipping it. "Jen's the one that wants to come and see us. I mean, why not let her?"

"Because, Dean, Kevin is her _husband_. He should know that she's coming to hang out with us—three people that hunt demons whenever we get the chance. She shouldn't be in this environment." Sam explained to us like we were slow.

I sighed and we all piled into the car to go to the airport. "Sam, it's going to be fine, Jen and I know how to protect ourselves—she and I are both witches."

Dean nodded at that and I nodded slowly, waiting for Sam and Dean to pick up on what it was that I had just said. I had just informed them that it wasn't just _me _who had powers—no, my best friend had powers too. It didn't set in until we parked the car in the airport parking lot and Dean turned to me with a look on his face and I just kept nodding, waiting for him to say it out loud.

"Wait, you mean you _both_ have powers?" Dean asked me.

I laughed a little. "Yeah, and the babies probably do too."

"Wow." Sam said and nodded slowly. "I still think this is a bad idea."

"I guess I don't have to worry about it now, but uh…_our _baby would have probably had powers too." I explained to Dean, nodding and then changing the subject. "Let's go get Jen, shall we?"

The boys nodded and we went into the airport, hanging out around the luggage carousel while I impatiently tapped my foot as I waited for my doey eyed best friend. I didn't have long to wait for her either, and when we saw each other, we both immediately grinned and went to hug each other fondly.

"Jenny!" I cried, breathing in the scent of her hair as I held her close.

"Lanni!" She replied.

I laughed a little at her baby bump, genuinely excited about it because it was as big as either of us had gotten and I loved her beautiful babies. It didn't matter how I felt about babies right then, all that mattered was that Jen and hers were safe and sound so that when Kevin called me to yell, I could genuinely tell him not to worry. Besides, while she had her family, I had my promise ring to show off that I kind of had Jen to thank for…so needless to say my bosom buddy was going to get all the attention while she was there.

"How are you?" Sam asked Jen as he and Dean came over to us.

Jen smiled at him. "I'm okay, though the babies seem to want to kick their mother."

"It happens." Dean replied with a shrug.

"So what brings you here?" Sam asked Jen. "I don't want to hear any crap about visiting either—I know Lan a _lot_ better than that."

Jen laughed and looked at me. "Well you were right—should we tell them?"

"I was _really_ hoping we wouldn't have to." I admitted.

Dean gave me a look as Jen laughed, both of us completely aware that our cover was blown and we were going to have to come clean. There was always the off chance that we could just cover it all up with some other lie, but then again…Sam and Dean were starting to be able to see right through my lies. Still, Jen and I were pretty particular about what we were going to do and right now we were going to play it safe.

"Fess up, Lanni—what's going on?" Dean asked me, his voice all hot and stern, which was incredibly annoying because it made me want to cave.

I was able to shrug—thank you, Jesus. "Nothing important—Jen and I just wanted to get together like the old times. Let's go to the Roadhouse."

"Why?" Dean asked skeptically.

"Because I want to meet Ellen—Lana tells me lots of things about her, but I want to meet her first hand." Jen told him with a grin.

The boys seemed skeptic, but they took us without any more questions—at least about wanting to go to the Roadhouse. It seemed that Jen was a lot harder to read than I was, but that was because they were forced to see me every day. So we chatted a little about her plane ride and then got her bags and got into the Impala, Jen and I in the backseat.

"So how's Kevin?" Sam asked, turning a little to talk to us.

"Kevin is as protective as ever. I appreciate it, don't get me wrong, but I needed some air." Jen explained. "I mean he was going to take my laptop away because of radiation. He thinks it will have a negative affect on our magical offspring."

I laughed loudly and shrugged when she hit my shoulder. "Seriously? The man is _too_ worried."

"Well he _was_ tortured by werewolves and found by vampires before he was returned to us." Jen said with a mild shrug.

"True, true." I told her. "But you can't blame it all on that—he was a nut _before_ he was taken from us against his will."

Jen shot me a look and when I pouted she rolled her eyes and the four of us sat there in silence until we got to the Roadhouse. When we walked in, Ellen looked up from cleaning a bar and smiled, coming over to us. I was actually happy to see her since our last meeting hadn't been so pleasant, and I welcome the hug…I missed having a motherly figure around.

"Well hello, you three…and who might this be?" Ellen asked with a smile on her face as she pulled back from the hug to look Jen over.

Jen held her hand out. "Jennifer Delkan."

"We just call her 'Jen'." I told Ellen with a grin. "She's been my best friend since…well her mother knew my birth mother _and_ my adopted mother—we're womb buddies."

Ellen laughed and stroked my hair in a motherly fashion. "I've heard of you from John."

"From John? Really?" Jen asked, her face flushing a little. "That's a high compliment!"

"Well if he knew _my_ mothers, he knew _yours_, and besides…I told him all sorts of stories." I told Jen, a cheeky grin on my face.

She rolled her eyes at me again and then we turned when we heard footsteps, me smiling at Jo and giving her a little wave. I had nothing against her, but I didn't know her well as of yet and I was pretty excited to have her and Jen meet. Jen was a fabulous judge of character and I was hoping to spend a little time here with Ellen and Jo, so it would be best we all get to know each other.

"Who's this?" Jo asked, a smile on her face.

I pointed in between her and Jen. "Jo, Jen. Jen, Jo. Jo is Ellen's daughter, and Jen is my best friend."

"Nice to meet you." Jo told her, she and Jen both shaking hands. "What brings you out here, Jen? And…pregnant?"

"Visiting my friends and seeing what Lana's going through. Plus, the husband is a being a little _too _over-protective for my taste." Jen joked, and Jo smiled friendly at her.

I pushed my bangs out of my face as they dropped hands and Dean cleared his throat, Ellen's eyes lighting up. At first I was completely surprised by her reaction, but then remembered that my bangs were more on the left today, and my promise ring was on my left hand. She smiled at me and I held it out, she and Jo looking at it as Dean sighed behind me and Jen and Sam laughed a little.

"It's a promise ring." I informed her as she looked at it. "I think Deano's feeling a little bad about the funk I've been in since…well…yeah…"

Ellen glanced at him. "Well you're proving some of your father's stories wrong, Boy."

"I think I'll take that as a compliment." Dean told her. "Think we could get a couple beers?"

"And for those of us who can't consume alcohol—like Preggers over here—who's up for a bit of poker?" I asked with a grin.

Jo laughed at me. "I'm in."

"I'm totally up for it." Jen said with a nod, and the boys shook their heads.

"You know what? I think we'll stay out of this." Sam informed us.

Dean nodded slowly. "But we'll have fun watching."

We all sat there either playing poker or pretending to be interested in the game and not the hostilities between all the females. It turned out when you sat all of us down to gamble, things got pretty ugly. Right now the tensions were the highest between Jo and Jen, mainly because I was good at Texas Hold 'Em…not five card stud like Jen…and Jen was winning.

"And the win goes to me." Jen said, practically throwing it in our faces.

I rolled my eyes and then nodded. "She's good at this."

"Really? Then let's up the stakes a bit." Jo replied, not at all about to be intimidated by Jen which made me smile a bit.

"You mean with money? Bring it on, Blondie." Jen told her with a smile on her face.

"I'm out of this." I said, holding my hands up in the air. "Call me a wuss if you must."

Jen turned to me and laughed. "Oh, I must, Lan."

"So be it, Jenny…do your thing." I told her.

"Now don't cheat." Jo warned her, looking at Dean and I mumbling over Jen's shoulder to each other.

Jen snapped at me and Dean, so we stopped talking to each other. "I don't cheat. That cost you, Blondie—now I'm going to play my hardest."

The boys and I sat back as the girls glared at one another, and Ellen handed us beers as we watched. It was going to be on intense game, and if Dean and I kept talking to each other and getting Sam involved, we were all going to get killed…by the pregnant card shark…

xxxx

A couple hours later, Jen and Jo were actually pretty even with money, and Ellen made them break it up. They shook hands and we all tried to find some common ground, Ellen eventually making Jo help her, so it was just me, Jen, Sam and Dean looking at each other. Jen and I both knew it was about time to get down to business, and so we looked at the boys and they sighed at us…like they knew what was coming. Actually, they were pretty sure about what was going on with us, but until we actually confessed, they had nothing on us and that was how it was going to stay.

"So…Lan…I think its time we…had a girl talk." Jen told me, looking at me as the boys assessed our behavior with their eyes.

I nodded slowly and looked from Jen to the boys. "Give us some space, boys?"

Dean raised an eyebrow as Sam got up. "What are you two up to?"

"We just want to talk about boys and…babies…that kind of stuff." I told him, trying so hard not to swallow because Jen's babies or not—my _Godchildren_ or not—I didn't actually _want _to talk about babies.

"We'll give you guys some space." Sam said, smiling at me.

I smiled back. "Thank you."

As they left, I turned to see Jen giving me a stern look and I quickly stopped smiling—it was her business look. On the one hand I was really excited about getting to do something, but on the other hand I was really getting tired of all of this hunting. All hunting did was get my mind off of things for just a little while and eventually I needed to actually deal with my problems…and I didn't want Jen to get hurt.

"So what's with the ghost?" I asked Jen, trying not to think about my problems.

"I'd like to know what's with you and Sam." Jen said, looking at me and giving me a rather stern look.

I shrugged at her. "Well…nothing…there's been some flirting, but nothing really. Dean gave me a promise ring and I'm madly in love with him, I just…I can't get the courage up enough to tell him that I don't think I…so the ghost?"

I grabbed some of the pages that Jen and I had gotten on the man Robert Douglas, who was haunting his house and killing off family members one by one. Mostly I wanted to talk to Jen about how I didn't want to do this anymore, but Jen and I were on a mission and that was that. The two of us really badly wanted to get this hunt taken care of and show that we could still do it…even if we both knew it was dangerous.

"So this is a revenge gig?" I asked Jen.

She nodded and took the papers from me. "I did some more research and found out that he was so angry, he staged his entire murder. He got himself killed on purpose, refused to move on, and had ancient symbols planted everywhere. He can't be defeated unless we use our combined powers to banish him—force him to move on."

"Wow…that's one messed up man." I said, shaking my head.

"And we can stop him—the four of us." Jen added, rubbing her stomach.

I nodded slowly. "All right, but please let's keep this to ourselves. I know that we can keep you safe, but Kevin, Sam and Dean won't be too happy about what we're doing and you know it."

Jen smiled. "I know. So what excuse can we use to get away?" Jen asked me.

"How about…we need to buy some feminine products for me?" I asked her with a shrug.

Jen laughed loudly. "If it'll work."

"Trust me…it will." I assured her as I laughed a little myself.

The two of us went out of the room and snuck past the boys—thankfully I didn't have to even use my excuse for them. I actually had a feeling that Sam and Dean had been around me enough to know it wasn't my time of the month. Besides, I was off because of the miscarriage and that was a conversation _none _of us actually wanted to have because it still hurt far too much.

"If anything goes truly wrong, you run, and I'll set things up for you to come back safely." I told Jen firmly. "Those babies are going to actually be _born_."

She nodded, stroking my hair. "All right, Lan…for _their_ sake."

The two of us surprisingly made it up to the attic with no problems from the ghost, and I set up the candles rather quickly while Jen muttered ancient words under her breath, both of us beginning to sense the presence of the spirit. He tore at us, and bruised my skin, but Jen stayed pretty resistant—the babies kept their mother protected. It was just one more thing that came with having 'magical offspring', and I was glad to have her safe.

"What are you doing?" The ghost asked harshly.

I joined Jen in muttering the ancient words, and soon there was a loud screaming and then a harsh, shrill sound, and then the ghost was gone, and Jen passed out.

xxxx

"I can't believe you did that!" Kevin screamed at me.

I was up to here with him. I knew he was mad and he had every right to be, but I wanted to be able to keep hearing for a while, thank you very much. The more he yelled at me, the louder he got, and the more I really wanted to just sit down and talk about this instead of just being yelled at and not getting a word in edge-wise. This was my fault, and deep down I was pretty certain that part of me knew this was going to happen and decided to be reckless…because I was bitter. How could I have put Jen in such danger? I was such a terrible friend.

"Kevin, I know you're mad, but—" I began.

"—there are no 'buts'!" Kevin cried. "She passed out!"

"And I'm fine. If we hadn't done this, no one would have been able to vanquish him. The babies are fine." Jen tried to explain to him.

"Good to see you up and about." I told her, going over to her, but Kevin stepped in between us.

"Look, Alana…I'm taking her with me. You're going to stop coming around until the babies are out of her." Kevin explained to me forcefully. "You of _all_ people should know what it's like to lose a baby. I know it's too soon, and I know that's a terribly rude way of putting it, but…how could you let her do this?"

Jen jumped in and I really wished that she hadn't. "Kevin, you're over-reacting. Lana is the godmother to these two hoodlums, and she protected me. She could have used that spell of hers to stop the scratches and bruises, but she didn't—secretly she protected me. Kevin, this job comes with dangers—but you have to deal with it."

"Jenny, these are our babies." Kevin protested, rubbing her stomach.

Jen kissed him and he smiled a little and I found myself almost completely unable to take it because that's what _I_ wanted. I just wanted to be pregnant—to have Dean's baby back in my stomach and Dean slowly coming around. I was just going to continue to get older, and I was going to become a bitter hunter because I was never going to get to have a family of my own…this was really messing with my head.

"And I'm keeping them safe." She assured him.

"We are going to go home though." Kevin ordered, smiling at her.

I smiled and went over to her, kissing her cheek swiftly. "I'll call."

Jen nodded. "I know."

After they left, Sam and Dean both gave me quite the earful about what I had done and how I shouldn't have been so reckless, and then Sam hugged me. I honestly hadn't been expecting it, and I really needed it. So I hugged him back, and then we all got packed up and had a nice night of sleep, waking up and heading out the next morning because Sam felt we should move on. We ended up trying to do a hunt that didn't actually end up panning out and a week after the incident with Jen, Sam had other plans on his mind and Dean and I were a little iffy about the place he particularly wanted to go.

The thing was, I wasn't sure if I could handle going with them to their mother's grave. It was a little hard to swallow already all the death, but how could I deny letting Sam go and pay a visit to his mother? She gave birth to him, he never got to actually know her, and it only made sense that he would want to see her now that John was gone too.

"Come on Sam, I'm begging you—this is stupid." Dean protested, really not wanting to face any of his problems either.

Sam looked at his brother from the passenger seat. "Why?"

"Visiting Mom's grave? She doesn't even have a grave. There was no body left after the fire." Dean tried, desperate to get out of this.

"She has a headstone." Sam replied, nodding a little.

"Yeah, put up by an uncle—a man we've never even met." Dean told him. "So you wanna go give your respects to a slab of granite put up by a stranger?"

Sam sighed as I swallowed. "Dean, that's not the point."

"Then enlighten me, Sam." Dean told him.

"It's not about a body, or a casket, Dean…it's about her memory." I explained, understanding why Sam wanted to do this. "The least you could do is just cut Sammy some slack and let him do this."

"Mmm." Dean muttered.

Sam smiled at me and then nodded at his brother. "And after Dad, it just—it just feels like the right thing to do."

"It's irrational is what it is." Dean said in an annoyed tone.

"Look, Man, no one asked you to come." Sam reminded him.

In fact it was the truth—Sam had mentioned what he wanted to do and Dean and I didn't really wanted to be alone because one of us would bring up the baby and my irrational behavior with Jen. Neither of us were facing anything, and we hadn't even really been speaking much which was kind of disconcerting—but he was being faithful. I had expected him to be, but at the same time, I was a little worried about how he was acting, and how I was acting…our relationship was a little rocky even though it wasn't exactly about our _relationship_.

"Why don't we swing by the Roadhouse instead? We haven't heard anything about the demon lately. We should be hunting that son of a bitch down." Dean suggested, hoping Sam would let us turn around.

"You're right—you should. Just drop me off, I'll hitch a ride, and meet you there tomorrow." Sam told him, not backing down.

"Right." Dean scoffed, and then he looked defeated. "Stuck with those people. Making awkward small talk until you show up. No thanks. Lanni would try and get them to play poker, and then her hustling them would end in a bar fight and we'd get kicked out anyway."

I smiled and laughed a little. "I guess we're off to the cemetery then since I'd rather not get my boyfriend's beautiful face broken by a big burly hunter with a 'Shelly' tattoo on his huge right bicep."

"What in the world?" Sam asked me as he laughed, Dean letting out a chuckle too.

I just shrugged and started to say it again, but the mood was already lightened and we headed straight for the cemetery. When we got there, Sam went off to his mother's gravestone, and I wandered around for a bit looking at all the other headstones while Dean looked around too. He was stopped by one that said, "Loving Father", and I didn't want to disturb him.

To give him his space, I took a couple of steps in an opposite direction, but I stopped when I ran across a "Loving Son" one…for a five year-old. I swallowed the lump rising in my throat and tried to tell myself that the kid had gotten to live a bit, but it hurt too much. Dean rested his hand on my shoulder and took a breath, but I shook my head so he wouldn't speak and looked up, pointing at a dead tree, me walking over to it first, Dean following me.

"Look at this circle of death around her grave." Dean told me. "And this flower—half of it is alive."

I nodded and looked at him. "Go talk to the groundskeeper."

"Already on it." He replied, and headed off as Sam came over.

"What's this about?" Sam asked me.

I pointed to the circle. "The perfect circle of death."

"Angela Mason. She was a student at the local college. Her funeral was three days ago." Dean told us as he came back over.

"And?" Sam asked him.

"And?" Dean repeated. "You saw her grave. Everything dead around it, in a perfect circle. You don't think that's a little weird?"

Sam nodded a little. "Maybe the grounds keeper went a little agro with the pesticide."

"No, I asked him. I asked him: no pesticide, no chemicals—nobody can explain it." Dean told him.

"Okay. So, what are you thinking?" Sam asked him, giving me a look because I was apparently being a bad influence on him and helping him to be distracted, but I thought it was a hunt too.

Dean shrugged at him. "I don't know…unholy ground, maybe."

"Un—" Sam started repeating, surprised, but he stopped.

"What? If something evil happened there, it could easily poison the ground." I protested.

Dean nodded, glad to have the back-up, but Sam looked secretly annoyed with both of us and our way of retreating lately. The two of us were trying so hard to keep our minds elsewhere, even if I really just wanted to go back to my home and try and do something with my life. With hunting, came creepy ghost children, and children having their parent's murdered—or being murdered themselves—I didn't _want_ to deal with it.

"Remember the farm outside of Cedar Rapids?" Dean asked Sam.

Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"It could be the sign of a demonic presence…" Dean said to Sam, who seemed pretty skeptical at this point.

"Or Angela's spirit, if it's powerful enough." I added, and then Sam didn't answer and headed for the car.

Dean was annoyed with his brother. "Well, don't get too excited, you might pull something."

"It's just…stumbling onto a hunt…here…of all places?" Sam pointed out, also annoyed but handling it a lot better.

"So?" Dean asked him.

"So," Sam repeated, "are you sure this is about a hunt, not about something else?"

Dean gave Sam a look. "What else would it be about?"

"You know? Just forget it." Sam brushed it off, even though I knew part of him was upset that only _he_ had talked to his mother's gravestone.

"Believe what you want, Sam, but I let you drag my ass out here. The least we can do is check this out." Dean told him angrily.

Sam sighed and nodded. "Yeah, fine."

"The girl's dad works in town—he's a professor at the school." Dean explained to him.

"Yeah. Fine." Sam agreed.

"Do you two always have to fight?" I asked as them, really wanting to move past this already

Dean shot me a look as the engine turned over. "We're not fighting."

Sam and I sighed and then got into the car and went to pay Angela's father, Dr. Mason, our condolences. He let us in after we used our real names, and Sam and I sat with him while Dean looked around. Sam and I were both pretty certain that Dean was _not_ going to make this a very easy visit, but he really wanted to get to the bottom of this and I did too.

"This is an unusual book." Dean said, showing the book he found to Dr. Mason.

Dr. Mason nodded at him. "It's Ancient Greek. I teach a course."

"So, a car accident, that's…that's horrible." Dean told him, and I tried really hard not to reach over and pinch him because it was kind of rude.

"Angie was only a mile away from home when…" Dr. Mason began, but he trailed off.

"It's got to be hard, losing someone like that." I said genuinely, smiling that Lana smile at him.

Dean nodded at that. "Sometimes it's like they're still around…almost like you can still sense their presence. You ever feel anything like that?"

"I do as a matter of fact." Dr. Mason admitted.

"That's perfectly normal, Dr. Mason." Sam told him, but I could tell by the tone in his voice and the look on his face that the words were meant for Dean. "Especially with what you're going through."

"You know, I still phone her…and the phone's ringing before I remember that, uh…family's everything, you know? Angie was the most important thing in my life and now I'm just lost without her." Dr. Mason explained.

Sam nodded and gave a soft smile. "I'm very sorry."

"If there's anything you need, just ask." I assured him, even though I knew there was nothing that I could do for him.

He had lost his little girl, and nothing could bring her back and somehow he was going to have to learn to live with that. On top of it, Sam and I were annoyed that Dean was showing absolutely no compassion, and after a couple more kind words to Dr. Mason, we went back to the motel. I was still pretty sure we had a case here, but at the same time, none of the pieces were truly falling into place.

"There's something here, we just haven't found it yet." Dean argued as Sam washed his face.

Sam reached for a towel. "Dean, so far you have a patch of dead grass and nothing."

"Something turned that grave into unholy ground." Dean told his brother angrily.

"There's no reason for it to be unholy ground. Angela Mason was a nice girl who died in a car crash. That isn't exactly vengeful spirit material. You heard her father." Sam explained, looking at his brother as he came out of the bathroom.

Dean scoffed. "Yeah, well maybe Daddy doesn't know everything there is to know about his little Angel."

I sighed loudly and the two of them looked at me as I sat on the end of one of the beds, really hating where this conversation was going. We were all pretty high strung and none of us were in good moods and this was going to tears us apart more than it was going to bring us together. I guess we should have known that eventually we could no longer hide all of our feelings behind random hunts.

Sam sighed too and looked at Dean as Dean flipped through John's journal. "You know what we never should have bothered that poor man."

"There's one point I agree on." I told Sam, and Dean shot me a look, but before I could say that I believed something was up, Sam spoke up again.

"We shouldn't even be here anymore." Sam admitted, resting his hands on his hips and looking at Dean.

"What are you saying, Sam? That we should just bail without even figuring out what's going on?" Dean asked, cocking his head and shaking it.

Sam chose his words carefully. "I think I know what's going on here…it's the only reason I've gone along with you this far.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked him.

"Sam…" I warned.

"This is about Mom's grave." Sam said confidently.

Dean scoffed and looked down at the ground. "Got nothing to do with it."

"You wouldn't step within 100 yards of it." He said, as Dean looked a bit miffed. "Look, maybe you're imagining a hunt where there isn't one so you don't have to think about Mom…or Dad."

Dean looked up at Sam rather angrily, and I stood up just in case I would have to get in between the two of them. I had seen Dean hit Sam once before and I really didn't want anything in the room to get physical even though Sam was fighting back emotionally. Neither of them were seeing eye to eye, and I desperately wanted to be the mediator, but I didn't know what to do.

Sam sighed at Dean and nodded a little. "You wanna take another swing? Go ahead if it will make you feel better."

"I don't need this crap." Dean said, and then he moved and grabbed his phone and his keys, and Sam sighed.

"Dean, where are you going?" Sam asked him, both of us watching Dean head for the door.

"I'm going to get a drink. Alone." Dean said angrily, and then he opened the door and slammed it behind him.

I went for my jacket too. "I'm going to go and talk to him. There really might be something here, Sammy…even if he's desperately just looking for a hunt."

"I'm more willing to believe you than him right now, but I really don't think anything is here." Sam rubbed his temples. "She doesn't fit _any_ of the characteristics of an angry spirit, Lan, and you know it."

"We're just not digging deep enough." I replied.

Sam and I paused and I knew what he was going to say next. "That…or you're hiding something too."

I sighed and then I kissed his cheek softly, pulling on my jacket and going out to catch Dean before he turned on the car. I rapped my knuckles on his window and I knew he knew it was me out of the corner of his eye, so he paused, his eyes fixed on the steering wheel. After a moment though, he rolled the window down and I smiled a little, trying to be as calm as I could about it all.

"Can I come?" I asked him.

Dean looked at the steering wheel and then at me. "Why?"

"Cause I believe there's a hunt, and you know you like having me around, even when you're pissed." I told him, smiling even though I didn't really feel like smiling.

"Get in." He nodded.

As I got in the car, I put my hand on his and he sighed a little. "Look, we could go get a drink and then we can check out Angela's place. There's bound to be more clues there, but you look like you need a beer."

Dean looked at me and we locked eye contact, both of us aware that this was something we could count on—the understanding we had with each other. Still, we were both in this hunt for a different reason and neither of us wanted to discuss it…no matter how happy we felt even for a second just being together.

"Why do you do this?" He asked me.

I looked at him and smiled a little. "Why do I do what?"

"Why do you make me so weak?" He asked with a sad smile that came on his face and then disappeared.

I smiled a little. "It's my job. Let's go."

He nodded, and we stopped to get a couple beers, and then we got Angela's address and we went to her house. We looked around a bit, and then a girl showed up and she ran into the room she had come out of, and then threatened to call 911. That's what Dean and I got for going ahead and trying to do this without Sammy.

"I'm Angela's cousin!" Dean cried out to her.

"What?" The girl asked, and she was more willing to talk now.

Dean nodded and I smiled a little. "Yeah, her father sent me over to pick up her stuff. My name's Alan—Alan Stanwick."

"Her Dad never told me you were coming." She said, poking her head out of the room.

"Yeah, well…how else would I have the key to your place?" He asked, and then he chuckled and I was pretty happy that he could think on his feet like that.

She nodded slowly and then looked at me. "And you are?"

"His girlfriend—I just thought I'd lend a hand." I explained and smiled at her.

She nodded and then got dressed to come and talk to us, and started crying everywhere when we asked her about things—turns out her name was Lindsay and she was Angela's best friend. All she would tell us was how great Angela was, and cry some more. Dean kept handing her tissues, and then we heard about how Angela's boyfriend Matt had slit his own throat and had been seeing her everywhere before he died…that was the freaky part…and definitely up our alley of things.

"Were Angela and Matt a happy couple? I mean…was there any reason that Angela would be angry with him?" Dean asked her.

Lindsay shook her head. "What? No, of course not. Why do you ask?"

"Just asking." He answered before asking her where Matt lived.

With that, Dean and I thanked her, and gathered some of her things before we left, and went to Matt's place to look around before going back to the hotel. When we walked in, I heard something about "Casa Caliente IV" and I stopped walking as Dean went ahead of me as Sam looked up from having rapidly turned off the television. Dean gave him a look and Sam looked startled as I raised my eyebrows at him.

"What?" Sam asked us.

"Awkward." Dean told him before walking the rest of the way in the room to get more dressed down.

Sam nodded and then looked at Dean as I came further into the room too. "Where the hell were you two?"

"Just working our imaginary case." Dean retorted and he was annoyed and I sighed again.

"Yeah? And? " Sam asked as I put my brave face on and flopped back on the bed.

Dean nodded at him. "Oh, well, you were right. I didn't find much. Yeah, except Angela's boyfriend died last night, slit his own throat but you know, that's normal. Uh, see, what else? Oh, he was seeing Angela everywhere before he died. But, you know, I'm sure that's just me transferring my own feelings."

"Okay, I get it. I'm sorry, maybe there is something going on." Sam said dismally.

"_Maybe_? Sam, I know how to do my job despite what you might think." Dean told him.

"We should check out the guy's apartment." Sam suggested.

I sat up. "We just came from there: a pile of dead plants, just like the cemetery."

"Hell, a dead goldfish, too." Dean added with a chuckle.

"So, unholy ground?" Sam asked us.

"Maybe. I'm still not getting that powerful angry-spirit vibe from Angela. I've been reading this, though." Dean added showing Sam a journal.

Sam gave Dean a look. "You stole the girl's diary?"

"Yeah, Sam…and if anything, the girl's a little _too_ nice." Dean explained, a mischievous smile on his face.

"I told him not to, but you can't stop this one from anything if his mind is set to it." I told Sam with a shrug. "Even so, Dean and I want to do some more digging and talk to more of her friends."

Sam sighed and nodded. "You get any names?"

"You kidding me? I have her 'bestest friend in the whole wide world'." Dean said, and threw the diary at Sam.

We took a little bit to go through Angela's diary, and then after a little while we decided to go and see Neal and pretend we were grief counselors. I smiled at Neal when he opened up the door, and I was pretty certain that we could get through this…I was pretty certain Neal would talk to us. Besides…my vibes were going haywire…this guy knew more than he was letting on…and it got more and more obvious as Sam put the act into effect.

"Grief can make people do crazy things." Sam told Neal.

Neal nodded, but didn't seem convinced. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened to him—I am—but if Matt killed himself, it wasn't 'cause of grief."

"No? Then why?" I asked him slowly.

"It was guilt. Angie's death was Matt's fault and he knew it." Neal replied without skipping a beat.

Sam raised his eyebrows. "How was Matt responsible?"

"She really loved that guy but the night of the accident, she walked in on him with another girl. She was really torn up…that's why she crashed the car." Neal added and then he thanked us for our concern and went back inside his house.

So we headed down the walkway to the car and leaned on it, and Dean pressed the angry spirit thing. I was getting a little sick and tired of Sam and Dean pushing each other's buttons, but I didn't want to deal with it, so I stepped in instead. It was best Dean argue with me than argue with Sam as far as I was concerned by now.

"So, if Angela got her revenge on Matt, you think it's over?" Sam asked Dean before I opened my mouth to speak.

"Well, there's one way to be sure." He replied, and then he got into the car and Sam and I followed suit.

I swallowed. "Dean…do we _have_ to burn the bones? I mean she's going to be a ripe, rotting body in a coffee…not _bones_."

"Since when are you afraid to get dirty, huh?" Dean asked, and we sat in silence as Dean drove us back to the hotel.

That night, we went to the cemetery to burn the bones even though I was totally against it now, but when we actually got to the coffin and lifted the lid, we saw that Angela's body wasn't in there—nothing was. So much for the angry spirit theory. It was starting to look more and more like what was going on with Angela was more like raising her from the dead…it was more like zombie action—without the eating people's brains.

"What's with you taking both sides?" Dean asked, wrapping his arms around me like any other night.

I took a breath and snuggled my back into his chest. "Because I understand it from both points of view. Do you have a problem with that?"

"No, I just…I was hoping you'd take my side because there's a hunt there." Dean explained, and I knew that part of it was because I was his girlfriend too.

"I _am_ on your side…I'm just on Sam's too. I know that sucks, but come on, Dean, you and I are _both_ doing this for an ulterior motive. Damn-it, don't turn over!" I told him, hearing Sam sigh as Dean pulled his arms away and turned so his back was to me.

I sighed and whispered that I loved him, kissing the back of his head and slipping my arms around him instead. I was glad that he let me, and then the three of us fell into a silence and it felt oddly awkward to me. The three of us very rarely had awkward silences with each _other_, but I tried to push the thoughts from my mind as we fell asleep, knowing we had more to do in the morning.

xxxx

The next morning, we headed to Dr. Mason's house to ask him some more questions because we needed to figure out where Angela's body actually was. Either the death had been faked, or someone had risen her from the dead, and that was our kind of gig. Actually…that meant this was going to be a really _annoying_ and _disturbing_ kind of our kind of gig.

"Dean, take it easy, okay?" Sam asked him as Dean knocked on the door hard.

"You're Angie's friends." Dr. Mason said when he opened the door.

"Dr. Mason—" Sam began.

"—we need to talk…about Angela." Dean interrupted him, making me make a face.

Dr. Mason nodded. "Well, come in."

"You teach Ancient Greek. Tell me," Dean asked, holding out the paper he used to write the symbols we saw on the coffin lid down, "what are these?"

"I don't understand." Dr. Mason answered. "You said this had something to do with Angela?"

Dean looked rather annoyed. "It does. Please, just humor me."

"They're part of an ancient Greek divination ritual." Dr. Mason replied.

"Used for necromancy, right?" I asked calmly before Dean could open his big mouth.

Dr, Mason nodded at me. "That's right."

"See, before we came over here, we stopped by the library and did a little homework ourselves. Apparently, they use rituals like this one for communicating with the dead, even bringing corpses back to life…full-on zombie action." Dean said hostilely.

"Yeah. I mean, according to the legends. Now, what's all this about?" Dr. Mason asked us.

Dean stared Dr. Mason down. "I think you know."

"Dean." Sam said sternly.

"Look, I get it. Okay? There are people that I would give anything to see again, but what gives you the right?" Dean asked him, getting rather upset.

"Dean!" Sam intervened.

Dr. Mason really didn't know what we were talking about. "What are you talking about?"

"What is dead should stay dead!" Dean cried, and I knew this was personal.

"What?" Dr. Mason asked.

I grabbed Dean's arm. "Stop it!"

"What you brought back isn't even your daughter anymore! These things are vicious—they're violent! They're so nasty they rot the ground around them. I mean, come on! Haven't you seen 'Pet Cemetery'?" Dean asked him in a loud, angry voice.

"You're insane." Dr. Mason replied and he headed for his phone.

Dean apparently wasn't done and jerked his arm free from my grasp. "Where is she?"

"Get out of my house." He answered as he dialed a phone number.

"I know you're hiding her somewhere." Dean told him, snatching the phone from him. "Where is she?"

"Dean, stop! That's enough!" I told him harshly.

Sam stepped into the conversation. "Dean, look: beautiful, living plants. We're leaving."

"I'm calling the police." Dr. Mason warned us.

"Sir, we're sorry. We won't bother you again." Sam promised and I nodded in agreement before we left the house.

Once out of Dr. Mason's house, Sam and I whirled on Dean because his behavior had been _completely_ uncalled for. What the Hell had he been thinking going off like that with absolutely no proof to back himself up?

"What the hell's the matter with you Dean?" Sam asked him.

"Back off." Dean replied angrily.

I shook my head and held my hand up to Sam. "That man is innocent! He didn't deserve that! Where the _Hell_ do you get off blaming him out of the blue with no proof? We just terrorized a poor man who lost his daughter for nothing! Nothing, Dean! What the Hell is wrong with you?"

"Okay, so she's not here—maybe he's keeping her somewhere else." Dean told us.

"Stop it! That's enough, okay? Enough!" Sam cried.

Dean was very upset with us. "Guys, I know what I'm doing."

"No, you don't…at all. Dean, I don't scare easy, but, man, you're scaring the crap out of me." Sam told his brother lovingly. "Hell you set Lan off and she's been nothing but a faithful girlfriend this whole time. She's _always_ on your side."

"Don't be overdramatic, Sam." Dean replied and then shook his head. "For your information she's on _everyone's_ side."

Sam wasn't done. "You're lucky this turned out to be a real case 'cause if it wasn't you would have found something else to kill."

"Sam, not now." I said, rubbing my temples.

"What?" Dean asked angrily.

Sam didn't take my warning to heart. "You're on edge, you're erratic—except for when you're hunting—'cause then you're downright scary. You're tail spinning, man, and you refuse to talk about it, and you won't let Lan and I help you."

"I can take care of myself, thanks." Dean replied bitterly.

"No, you can't! And you know what? You're the only one who thinks you should have to. You don't have to handle this on your own, Dean. No one can." Sam coaxed him and I reached out to rest my hand on his shoulder, but Dean was really tense and really upset.

"If you bring up Dad's death one more time, I swear…" Dean said, clenching his fist.

Sam sighed loudly. "Please, Dean, it's killing you. Please. We've already lost Dad. We've lost Mom. I've lost Jessica. You and Lan lost the baby…and now, am I gonna lose you, too?"

"We better get out of here before the cops come." Dean replied, changing the subject. "I hear you, okay? I'm being an ass and I'm sorry, but right now we got a freaking zombie running around. We need to figure out how to kill it…right?"

"Our lives are weird, man." Sam said softly.

"You're telling me. Come on." Dean told him, and we went to the motel.

There were so many things that I wanted to say, but honestly I wasn't very certain I could get them to come out without sounding as angry as I was. I understood that Dean was going through a tough time, but I was too…we both needed Sam to help us through this, but at least _I_ was admitting that. Dean and I were both being reckless and I didn't realize that until I had actually taken Jen on that hunt…Dean hadn't realized yet just how much help he needed, and was instead focusing on ways to get rid of Angela.

"We can't just waste her with a head shot?" Dean asked us.

"Dude, you've been watching way too many Romero flicks." Sam replied.

Dean sighed loudly. "You're telling me there's no lore on how to smoke them?"

"No, Dean, I'm telling you there's too much. I mean, there's a hundred different legends on the walking dead, but they all have different methods for killing them—some say setting them on fire." I replied, rubbing my temples.

"One said…where is it?" Sam said, flipping to a page in the journal. "Right here…feeding their hearts to wild dogs. That's my personal favorite, but who knows what's real and what's myth?"

Dean sighed too. "Is there anything they all have in common?"

"No, but a few said silver might work." I replied and leaned back in the chair I was in. "Silver's a start."

"Yeah, but now how are we gonna find Angela?" Sam asked us.

Dean gave Sam a look. "We got to figure out the person who brought her back."

"Any ideas?" Sam asked.

"I think it was Neal, but only because I got a vibe from him, I have no proof." I suggested and smiled when Dean agreed with me.

"Lana may not have anymore proof, but you got your journal, I got mine." Dean said, and then opened up a passage from Angela's diary and read it out loud. "'Neal's a real shoulder to cry on. He so understands what I'm going through with Matt.' There's more here where that came from—it's got unrequited ducky love written all over it."

Sam made a face. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean he brought her back from the dead."

"Except that isn't he Professor Mason's T.A.?" I asked Dean.

Dean nodded and gave me a smile. "And he has access to all the same books."

Sam agreed with us then, and once he was on board, we headed over to Neal's place and knocked on the front door. When he didn't answer, we went inside and started exploring the house, going down into his cellar and I stopped for a moment. It was pretty obvious that my vibes from this place were totally not off.

"She's been here…I can feel her presence." I explained to them, pushing my bangs out of my face.

Dean nodded at me. "That's good enough for me."

"You think Angela's gone after somebody?" Sam asked us.

"No, I think she went out to rent 'Beaches'." Dean told him sarcastically.

Sam glared at him. "Look, smartass, she might kill someone. We got to find her, Dean."

"Yeah…alright, she, uh…she clipped Matt because he was cheating, right?" Dean asked us, trying to put it together and my eyes lit up when I knew what he was getting at. "Well, it takes two to you know, to have hard-core sex. I don't know it just seemed that Angela's roommate was broken up over Matt's death. I mean, like _really_ broken up."

"Almost broken up enough to be the one that he cheated with…" I told them slowly. "We better get back over there, now."

We hurried over to Angela and Lindsay's place, just in time to see Angela about to stab Lindsay, and Dean shot Angela in the back. She turned towards him, got another silver bullet in her, and then escaped through the window. Dean started following her, but came back almost immediately.

"Damn, that dead chick can run!" Dean explained to us.

"We should get back to Neal then." I told them dismally and they agreed.

Sam spoke up on the way there. "So, the silver bullets, they did something, right?"

"Yeah, something, but not enough. What else you got?" Dean asked him.

Sam took a breath. "Um, okay, besides silver, we have "nailing the undead back into their grave beds". It's mentioned a few times—it's probably where the whole vampire-staking lore came from."

"If you remember correctly, on the ancient vamps, that works quite nicely." I told them with a nod. "So we should try that."

"Their grave beds? You're serious?" Dean asked us and when Sam and I nodded, he sighed. "How the hell are we gonna get Angela back to the cemetery?" Dean asked.

I smiled a little. "That's where persuasion and good looks come in. Now before you ask, just don't. I have this part of it covered, so all _we_ gotta do is get back to Neal before Angela does, and put my plan into effect. If this works, Neal is safe, Angela goes back to being dead, and we get to leave town."

The boys decided to take my word for it and we headed to Neal's, him actually being there this time. He wasn't going to be happy about this if he was _truly_ in love with her, but this was the way it was going to have to be, so he was going to have to deal. Besides, if push came to shove, I'd just use my powers…and see if that worked.

"What are you doing here?" Neal asked us.

"You know I've heard of some people doing some pretty desperate things to get laid but you, you take the cake." Dean told him, shaking his head.

Neal made a face. "Who are you…really?"

"Ask Angela. We know you brought her back and don't even try to pull the 'crazy' card on us cause we're not falling for it this time—we're not stupid." I explained to him.

"Your girlfriend's past her expiration date and _we're_ crazy? When someone's gone, they should stay gone. You don't mess with that kind of stuff." Dean told him.

"Angela killed Matt, she tried to kill Lindsay." Sam added to try and convince him.

Neal shook his head slowly, putting on a face. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Hey, no more crap, Neal!" Dean ordered, seizing him by his shirt. "This blood is on your hands. Now me, and them can make this right, but you got to tell us where she is. Tell us!"

Neal was obviously scared of Dean, and he should have been. "My house. She's at my house."

"You sure about that?" Dean asked him after noticing the dead plants when I nudged him and moved my head in the direction of them.

"Listen," I said after looking at the cellar door, "it doesn't really matter where she is. There's only one way to stop her: we've got to perform another ritual over her grave to reverse the one that you did. We're going to need some black roots, some scar weed, some candles—it's very complicated but it will get the job done, and she'll be dead again in a couple of hours. I think you should come with us. I'm serious, Neal…leave with us, right now."

Neal shook his head. "No…no."

"Listen to me," Dean added in a low voice when I was done with the plan. "Get out of here as soon as you can. But most of all be cool. No sudden movements…don't make her mad. Let's go." He told us, and we took off for the cemetery.

When we got there, I set to getting the candles out of my bag and setting them up in a circle, lighting them for this made-up ritual. It wasn't a real one, but I had some magic on my side if things went _too_ wrong. All I wanted was to get this over with and actually go home…I just wanted to go back home. Speaking of home…

"So, you really think this will work?" Sam asked me as my phone rang.

I shrugged slowly. "I don't know actually, but it's the best one we've got."

"There's no actual ritual for it then?" Dean asked, reaching out and absent-mindedly stroking my hair.

I shook my head. "And if there is, I don't know the first thing about performing it. Hey, Jenny!"

"Lan! Hey…um…this is going to sound so terrible but…would you consider giving up your new life to come and be with me? Kevin is taking longer hours and my parents have their own lives and…I miss you and the old days. I know it's selfish because Sam and Dean are your family and they just lost their father but—" Jen was saying.

"—I hear you, Jenny, I do. I'll be home as soon as we take care of this undead girl. I'll call you back, we hear something and Sam is going off to check on it and I need to be focused. I love you." I told her, and then hung up when she said 'goodbye' and I turned to Dean. "Amazing isn't it? The length people go to so they won't end up alone."

Dean nodded slowly. "You're telling me."

Before we could say anything else, we saw Sam running towards us, and then Angela caught up with him, pinning him to the ground, Sam's hand violently hitting the ground. She was about to wring his neck when Dean fired a full round of bullets at her, and she lost her balance, falling into her open coffin. Dean jumped in after her and literally nailed her in, me hurrying to Sam.

"What's dead should stay dead." Dean said as I checked Sam's hurt hand.

Sam assured me that he was all right and I smiled at him and kissed his cheek, stroking it softly and then looking over as Dean got out of her coffin. It seemed to work, so we reburied her and Sam turned to me, reaching out and tugging on my pony-tail. I scrunched up my nose making a playful face, and Sam chuckled a little before he spoke.

"That was a good plan, but did we have to use me as bait? I think she broke my hand." Sam told me, pouting a little.

Dean stepped in, obviously annoyed with the flirting. "When that part came up, I knew Lana couldn't be bait, so I figured you were more her type, you know? She had pretty crappy taste in guys."

It began to be morning, and Dean took one last look at his mother's headstone while we got ready to leave, dialing Jen's number. Sam looked over at her and sighed a little, wanting to talk to his brother, but Dean not wanting to deal with it. Still, Sam was going to ask him if that was what he wanted, and I wasn't going to stop him from doing that…just as long as I got my ass back to Kansas soon to be there for Jen.

"We could stay." Sam offered.

"No." Dean told him, and we got into the car and drove.

We were headed for Kansas, and as we drove along the open road, Dean pulled over and got out, and Sam and I followed him. It looked like Dean was on the verge of having a breakdown, and so I stood next to him as leaned on the hood of the car, Sam leaning on the car too, on his other side.

"Dean, what is it?" Sam asked softly as I took Dean's hand and he squeezed mine in response.

"I'm sorry." Dean replied.

I smiled sadly at him. "For what?"

"The way I've been acting...and for Dad. Well, he was your Dad, too. It's my fault that he's gone." Dean explained.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked him.

I nodded. "Dean, you can't blame yourself for what happened to your father."

"I know you two have been thinking it so don't give me that—I've been thinking it too. Doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Back at the hospital, I had a full recovery. It was a miracle…and five minutes later, Dad's dead and the colt's gone." Dean pointed out.

"Dean…" I began slowly, running my thumb along his hand.

"You can't tell me there's not a connection there. I don't know how the demon was involved, I don't know how the whole thing went down exactly…but Dad's dead because of me, and that much I do know." Dean explained to us.

Sam shook his head. "We don't know that, not for sure."

"Sam…you, Lana and Dad…you're the most important people in my life, and now…I never should have come back, Sam. It wasn't natural and now look what's come of it. I was dead…and I should have stayed dead. You wanted to know how I was feeling. Well, that's it. So tell me…what could you possibly say to make that all right?" He added, crying.

I wiped away a tear and the three of us sat there in silence: this was a big step and in order to move further, Dean and I had to stop coddling each other. So after a few more minutes sitting in silence, we all piled back in the car and got back to Kansas, me heading straight for Jen's and leaving Sam and Dean in my house. She and I spent the night talking and then I headed back to the house, Dean a little antsy about going on another hunt but I didn't want to fight.

I waited for two whole days, and when Sam and Dean caught wind of another hunt and wanted to head out, I just sat there in the living room and Sam swallowed. He knew what was coming and I knew that Dean did too, but Dean wasn't going to let me stay without a fight and I loved him for that. It was just…it was just that he and I had to stop being each other's crutch.

"I'm not going." I told them, shaking my head and standing up, rubbing my thighs through my jeans.

Dean looked at me and our eyes met. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm just going to…" Sam trailed off.

"No, Sammy…" I tried, but trailed off when he headed out the front door. "Dean…"

Dean shook his head. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I can't do this, Dean. You and I are on a downward spiral right now and we need help, and Jen and I both think its time that I put my life back together. I mean I almost got my best friend _killed_…while she was _pregnant_. I'm not over this, and I'm not getting through this right now…I lost a baby, and I lost your Dad, and you and I are wrecks and we're coddling each other…you shouldn't have stayed here with me. You should have taken off the second you knew about the hunt." I explained, tears in my eyes.

"Lanni, I don't _want_ to be out there without you." Dean explained to me, cupping my face with his hands. "Baby, I love you, and I want to be here for you like you're here for me."

I swallowed. "Dean, you want to hunt…you want to hunt and you're amazing at it, and you're a hero, and I want you to keep hunting because that's what you want more than anything. You have your mother's and your father's deaths to avenge and I need a break from the supernatural…I need a chance to properly grieve and heal."

"Baby…"

"I think its time that we took some time apart." I told him, taking a step back and wiping my tears away. "I need some time to myself and you hunt…and you're _good_ at it."

Dean nodded and kissed me swiftly. "You can't grieve with me?"

"Dean…you and Sam should go and hunt." I explained to him. "I'll still be here when you're done, and you're always welcome here."

Dean just nodded and went to the door, not aware of the crushing feeling in my chest as he closed the door behind him without so much as a glance in my direction…

**Note: Sorry about all of the angst, but it's kind of needed in the story right now. Next chapter has a lot of fun in it so I hope you're prepared for some comedy, romance and a twist Also, it'll be in two different POVs, with just a smidge of sadness. Man, this is **_**28**_** pages! I'm proud of it. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	23. It's Better to be Together

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Make way for two POVs!**

**I hope you guys like this one…I seriously do.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

"Are you sure you're all right, Dean? I mean you can miss her." Sam told me.

I sighed loudly. "Sam…don't even start."

"I know you're annoyed Dean, and I know it hurts to be away from her, but you gave her a promise ring, Dean…why'd you just leave?" Sam asked me.

I sighed again because I was aware that he was trying to get me to realize I needed her and to go back and get her but I couldn't. Lana had made it clear to me that she needed space from me and I had to let her have that space. I love her, and I was finally at peace with that, but I'd done some things I wasn't proud of with her gone and now I couldn't even bring myself to talk to her—I kept handing Sam the phone and letting _him_ handle it when she called me.

"Sammy…" I told him, taking a breath.

Sam nodded from the passenger seat. "She'll forgive you for the waitress, Dean—I'm not sure she'll forgive me for letting you alone long enough to get laid when you're _still dating_ her…but she'll forgive you."

"I don't think she will." I said, shaking my head because I was quite aware that I was stupid and I didn't deserve Lana at all.

"You were drunk, you were lonely and I wasn't there to help stop it from happening just…can you talk to her next time she calls please?"

I swallowed and shook my head, really not sure that Lana and I were going to survive this. I wanted us to, and I was willing to fight for her, but she had told me to leave her alone so I was giving her, her space. What I wasn't ready for at all was for the feelings in my stomach about her space. What if in the space she realized that she wasn't ready to hunt…ever? What if she never wanted to be with me again?

That's when it hit me—I really _did_ love her. I was really worried about what this was doing to me and I knew that deep down I was broken in two. No other woman had ever made me feel like this and I wanted to be angry about that and try and rebuild my reputation, but I couldn't be. Lana was my girlfriend, and I loved her, and I had made a terrible mistake, and I needed her. Unfortunately, she wanted to be alone.

"What if she wants to stay alone?" I asked Sam, glancing at him.

Sam smiled at me. "She doesn't…just talk to her."

"Yeah…maybe." I replied, and I kept driving until we got to the motel, wishing Lana was there to make a joke…to pick our bed.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I _hated_ waking up without Dean next to me. Whenever I woke up in one of the motels, he was right next to me, holding me protectively. That or he was up and his side of the bed still faintly smelled like him and he was either getting coffee and showed right up, or he was chatting with Sam and had a smile to throw my way. Why had I sent him away from me? Just so that I could have time to grieve?

At first I had thought that I had done the right thing, but after a few days I really just missed him. The only thing I had of his left behind was a shirt, and it was losing his scent—damn t-shirt. I mean I knew his smell wasn't going to be left on it forever and I was making it worse by wearing it, but I needed to see him. I needed to see him, but he wasn't the first step of my journey back to him.

That was really the only thing that I was completely sure of, actually—that I needed to be back with Dean. I missed Sam too. He was my rock and I liked joking with him, and snuggling with him…I missed rustling his hair and even flirting with him. I knew I shouldn't miss flirting with him, but it was part of mine and Sam's relationship and in the end, I knew that Dean was my person.

"Anybody here?" I asked out loud as I walked into the Roadhouse, twisting the promise ring that Dean had given me. "It's me…Lana."

Ash came into the Roadhouse too from the side. "Hey, Lana—where is your boy entourage?"

"They're off on a hunt." I said with a laugh, unzipping my jacket. "Is Ellen here maybe?"

"Ellen is in the basement doing some inventory but she'll come up. Anything I can do you for?" Ash asked, winking at me.

Honestly I found it adorable, but I had a boyfriend and I wasn't about to jeopardize that with Ash. Besides, even though a little flirting couldn't do any harm, I was there to see Ellen for a reason and I really just wanted to get the talk out of the way. Still, he was being adorable, so I decided that until Ellen got there, I had nothing else to do, so why not at least be nice to him and let him down without bruising his ego?

"I would love it if you could help me with my problems, but what kind of girl would that make me, Ash?" I asked him, setting my hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Ellen."

Ellen smiled at me. "What brings you here, Lana?"

"I just kind of needed to talk to you, actually." I told her, smiling at Ash and then going over to Ellen and hugging her before sitting at the bar, her going around it and leaning on it as I did. "Do you have time to here me rant a little?"

"I'm always here to help, Lana." Ellen assured me, resting her hand on mine as Ash and some other girl went towards the back room.

Jo came over and sat down next to me. "I don't mind helping you either."

"Thanks…both of you." I said sincerely, taking a breath and figuring out where to start.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

"I don't know man, why don't we just chill out and think about this?" I asked Sam suddenly.

I knew that he had had one of his premonitions and that we needed to do this but at the same time…I wasn't so sure. I was kind of annoyed when Sam reached over and turned off my music too, and I kind of missed Lana. By now she'd have some kind of remark to make, and I wished that she was around to buffer the arguments too…weird because normally I hated when she took both sides.

"What is there to think about?" Sam asked me.

I shrugged at him. "Just don't know if going to the Roadhouse is the smartest idea."

"Dean, it's another premonition, I know it. This is _gonna_ happen, and Ash can tell us where. Plus it could have some connection to the demon. My visions always do." Sam protested.

"That's my point. There's going to be hunters there. I don't know if—if—if going in and announcing that you're some kind of supernatural freak with a demonic connection is the bet thing, okay?" I told him, really not wanting to get into this right now but knowing that I had to whether I wanted to or not.

Sam laughed a little. "So I'm a freak now?"

"You've always been a freak." I said, patting Sam on the knee.

Sam just rolled his eyes and laughed a little, me turning my music back on as we headed to the Roadhouse. We got out and walked in, Jo turning to us first and I knew that my breath caught in my throat when I recognized that backside—Lana. She turned around when Jo spoke up, and I swallowed. Why did I want to kiss her so badly? PDA was all right when I was really broken from Dad's death and the loss of the baby I had grown to love and couldn't talk about…but not now.

"You just can't stay away, huh?" Jo asked us, a twinkle in her eye.

I chuckled at it. "Yeah, looks like. How you doing, Jo?"

"Where's Ash?" Sam asked suddenly, and I looked over at Lana as she stood up and came over to me, Ellen looking at us.

"In his back room." Jo informed him.

"Great." Sam said, taking off immediately, kissing Lana's cheek before heading back to go and get Ash's help.

"And I'm fine." Jo told him Sam's disappearing figure.

I smiled but, kept looking at Lana as she got closer and closer. "Sorry, he's—we're kind of on a bit of a timetable."

Lana smiled at me and took a hold of my jacket, looking up at me with those eyes of hers and I cursed myself for her effect on me. I was like putty in her hands and I hated myself for what I had done to her the other night…how could she forgive me for that? How could I forgive myself? God…I wanted to kiss Lana so bad when she cocked her head to one side like that…I was so screwed.

"I take it that PDA is frowned upon now that you're big and macho again?" Lana asked me, Jo retreating back to the bar counter.

I smiled at her. "You're wearing my shirt."

Lana just kept showing me over and over again that she was mine and that she wasn't going to stray and the second I was drunk and upset I slept with some random waitress. Why was I being punished like this? I finally fall in love with a good woman, and she deserves so much more than me. She thought that she saw the good in me and that I was some big hero, but I was just some other jackass.

"Baby, I love you." She told me, leaning up.

I couldn't help myself, so I leaned down and kissed her, relaxing a little as her lips touched mine and I realized that I needed her. She was my girlfriend and she deserved better than me, but I needed and I wanted her. Why was I being so selfish? I had to tell her the truth…but then she'd be out of my life for good…and I couldn't live with her gone…I just couldn't.

"I should check on Sammy." I replied, pulling away and stroking her hair. "I've missed you."

She nodded and smiled sadly. "I missed you too…go talk to Ash."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I hadn't been expecting to see Dean and Sam, but seeing them made it that much harder for me. I wanted to know what was going on, but Ellen, Jo and I hadn't even had the talk I had hoped that we were going to have. There were things I needed to get off of my chest, but Sam was just so intent on finding Ash and I was so curious…so I hurried to the back room just as Dean called "Hey, Dr. Badass" through the door and Ash opened it, totally naked.

"Sam? Dean? Lana?" Ash asked, and then he sniffed the air. "Sam, Dean and Lana."

"Um, look Ash…we need your help." Sam told him, looking at him as the door covered what it needed to.

"Well Hell then, I guess I need my pants." He said, and then he closed the door on us as the three of us exchanged looks.

I slipped my hand into Dean's and smiled as he held it. "So…what do you guys need Ash for in particular?"

"We could just use his laptop." Sam replied with a shrug, Dean kissing my head and sidling closer to me.

I have to admit that I was loving this closeness since I had missed him so much, and even half wanted to drag him into Ash's back room and take him then and there but it wasn't the time. Besides, when Ash was dressed, he did some searches on his laptop, but there were no demonic signs or omens. Then Sam asked him to look for a house fire in 1983 that originated in a baby's nursery on the baby's six month birthday. Jo looked at us funny as Dean looked around nervously trying to figure out if anyone heard, and then I rested my hand on Sam's shoulder as he looked at Ash with anticipation and we all wished someone would talk so the silence would end.

"Okay now that is just weird, Man. Why the Hell would I be looking for that?" Ash asked.

Sam placed a beer on the table. "Because there's a PBR in it for ya."

"Give me fifteen minutes." Ash said quickly.

While Ash was doing that for Sam, Dean sat at the bar and I went to sit next to him while he looked at his beer. He smiled when I rested my hands on his and set his beer down as Jo turned on the Jukebox. "Can't Fight this Feeling" came on, and Dean looked up at her and then he drank his beer and then gave Jo a look.

"What?" She asked as she set some empty beer mugs down.

Dean made a face. "R.E.O. Speedwagon?"

"Damn right, R.E.O. Kevin Cronin sings it from the heart." Jo replied, coming over to him.

"He sings it from the hair." Dean and I replied.

"There's a difference." Dean told her, sipping his beer.

"So…" Jo began, looking over to make sure her mother wasn't listening. "That profile you got Ash looking for…your mother died that way too, didn't she? A fire in Sam's nursery?"

Dean shifted uncomfortably. "Look Jo, it's kind of a family thing."

"I could help." Jo said.

"I'm sure you could." Dean told her as I looked at the two of them. "But we gotta handle this one ourselves."

Jo nodded and I noted a look in her eyes as Dean turned to look at me and realized I should probably look back at my boyfriend. So I smiled and looked at him, leaning in close and resting my hands on his leg. Mainly I wanted to be close to him, but at the same time I knew part of me was marking my territory even though from Dean's end he wasn't attracted in the slightest…he had me and I seemed to be enough for him.

"So did Sammy…you know?" I asked him, referring to his visions and nodding when Dean nodded, our noses grazing. "Okay…do you need help with it?"

Dean raised his eyebrows. "I thought that you thought hunting was our crutch."

"Yeah, but I've missed you too much." I admitted and he grinned.

I was beyond ecstatic when he smiled at that, kissing me swiftly, making me want more but knowing that was the PDA limit for him. He was just marking his territory and I had marked mine, and I was glad that he'd missed me so much. One hunt couldn't hurt, could it? I mean I needed to talk to Ellen, but that could wait…what if they needed me? Or was I just making things make sense in my head because I missed him so damn much?

"I would be _very _happy if you came with us…but I don't want you to feel like you're not moving on by hunting—you kinda made that clear before." Dean explained, stroking my hair a little.

I nodded slowly and was about to speak up when Sam said they had a lead and Dean stood up to go. Jo's gaze followed Dean's every movement and I reached out for his hand, smiling at him and nodding. For some reason Jo's little eye movements were making me feel a little protective of what was mine, so I had made up my mind—I was going with them. So I told Ellen I would talk to her later and got into the Impala with them, immediately talking to Sam.

"So what do you have?" I asked him.

Sam smiled a little and then told Dean and I about Andrew Gallagher, who was born in '83 like Sam. I was a year younger than Sam was—well more like several months—and I never really knew that before. Anyway, he explained that we needed to find him and I nodded and ended up napping a little in the backseat, just glad to be in their company again, feeling a little less 'disturbed' than normal.

When I woke up, we were where Andy had last worked, and the boys were going to go in, but I wanted to sit in the car. I asked them to bring me back some coffee, and Sam nodded, Dean smiling at me and then heading off with his brother. Besides, it gave me some time to fill Jen in on where I was, so I pulled my phone out and gave her a call.

"Hey, Lan." Jen told me when she answered. "I take it you got to the Roadhouse all right?"

I laughed a little. "Yeah, and I got hit on by Dr. Badass and hit on him back and then…Sam and Dean showed up and I came on their hunt with them—please Jen, don't hurt me."

"I can't very well hurt you from here!" Jen exclaimed and then she laughed. "I knew you couldn't stay away from him for long. Have you…did you at least open up to Ellen like you opened up to me? She'd understand better from a mother point of view, I think…I have no experiencing giving that kind of love yet and she's unbiased."

"No, I uh…I was going to talk to her about it but Sam and Dean showed up and I…I felt like Jo was encroaching so I'm staking my claim." I admitted and then sighed. "Is that completely juvenile of me?"

Jen laughed again. "I don't think so—he gave you a promise ring, didn't he?"

"Okay, okay—it's juvenile. I mean I know he's not into her because I seem to always have his attention these days, but still I mean…I practically kicked him out." I explained and then smiled as the silence I knew too well set in. "You have to go, huh?"

"Yeah, you always could tell. I'll call you back." Jen told me. "I love you, Lan. Bye."

I smiled. "Bye, Jen. Keep me posted on everything, okay I love you too."

We both said our 'goodbye' and I hung up the phone, starting to get out of the car when Dean and Sam got back in. I smiled at them brightly when Sam handed me a latte and Dean turned to look at me before he stuck the key in the ignition. They had both missed me and I had missed them, and I felt pretty picked up…even though I still wanted to talk to Ellen.

"He's in a van on orchard street with the picture of a barbarian queen on the side riding a polar bear." Dean explained to me.

I laughed loudly. "Sounds like the man has some style…you find out anything else?"

"Nothing much except that everyone just leaves him alone." Sam explained with a shrug.

I nodded slowly. "Weird."

I smiled a little though and sipped my latte, the three of us silent the rest of the way and then we parked and watched Andy's van. It was actually a pretty cool van, but it made me chortle with laughter because it was seriously out there. Dean was pretty impressed by it too, and I wanted to bond with him over it, but I also wanted to talk about things with him I didn't think I could talk to him about.

"I'm sorry—I'm starting to like this dude. That van is sweet." Dean told us.

I smiled a little and opened up the back door. "I'll be right back."

The boys nodded and I got out of the car and went to a store on the street and sighed. I went to use their bathroom, just looking in the mirror and then sipping my latte. I wasn't sure what to do—I just needed to clear my head. I wasn't feeling as messed up as I had before, and I had my space and I loved being with the boys again but…there were still some things I needed to talk out…I just didn't want to be pushy. Maybe I was over-thinking all of it.

"Come on, Lan…stop this." I told me reflection, and then I headed back out as Sam got out of the car.

Sam smiled at me and stopped me. "We're going to tail the older man from my vision, and Dean's going to tail Andy."

"All right—good luck, Baby." I told Dean.

He smiled at me and told me and Sam to be careful before he drove off and I nodded and followed Sam with my latte. We were silent for a while, and then I took his hand and he looked at me and then smiled a little. It was now or never because honestly Sam would understand, but at the same time it was hard for him as well.

"Has Dean mentioned the baby at all, Sammy?" I asked Sam slowly.

Sam leaned his body closer to mine. "Lan, he's devastated. He was used to the idea of a baby and even though he never really talked about it, he really wanted it. He just doesn't want to talk about it with you because he knows how much the subject hurts you."

"He just has enough to deal with, you know?" I told Sam, shrugging a little. "I just don't want to burden him anymore."

"Lan, you can't get over this if you don't talk to _him_ about it. Talking to me and to Jen—it's just not the same." Sam said.

Right then we saw the elderly black man from Sam's vision answer his phone and Sam saw the bus go by. He looked at me and then dropped my hand, letting me know it wasn't me, and then hurried over to the gun shop and pulled the alarm. The man decided not to go into the gun shop, and got another cell phone call and then we saw Andy driving Dean's car.

"Andy's got the Impala." I told Sam.

Sam was on it, and called Dean, and looked miffed. "He let him take it."

"He what? He loves that thing." I replied.

Sam nodded and then we turned to see the man walk out into the street and get hit by a bus. I took Sam's hand as pain crossed his face, and then I waited with him until Dean got to us, and I ran my hand through Sam's hair as he talked about how he thought keeping him out of the gun shop would have saved him. He was feeling pretty responsible for it, but it wasn't his fault…I just didn't know how to make him see that.

"There was nothing you could do about it." I told him softly.

He just nodded, and then I looked past him as Dean looked at me and we made eye contact. I don't know what our exchanged looks were, but we all got up and then we went walking down the street, seeing the Impala as we came to a corner. Dean's whole face lit up at the sight of his precious car, and I smiled a little because it warmed my heart.

"Thank God!" Dean exclaimed, rather excited his baby was okay.

We crossed the street and I smiled at him. "Not a scratch."

"I'm sorry, Baby—I'll never leave you again." Dean said, touching the car and looking her over. "At least he left the keys in it."

"Yeah, real Samaritan this guy." Sam told us sarcastically.

Then he and Dean argued about whether or not Andy was guilty of the man walking in front of the bus or not, and then we went to track him down. We found his car, and broke into it, all of us kind of amazed at what was in it and how awesome it looked inside. There was a tiger painting, a disco ball, and lots of other things and I couldn't help but giggle a little because the guy was definitely eccentric and that was kind of cool.

"Oh, come on." Dean told Sam. "This is—this is magnificent. That's what this is. Not exactly a serial killer's lair though."

Sam looked at him and gave him a look. "Seriously, Man?"

"The red _is_ nice." I admitted softly.

"There's no clown paintings on the walls, or scissors stuck in victim's photos. I like the tiger." Dean said, rubbing his chin with his fingers.

"Hegel? Kant?" Sam asked, looking through the books in the van as I stepped away from them. "This is some pretty heavy reading, Man."

I giggled a little. "Don't forget the bong."

"Yeah. Moby Dick's Bong." Dean told Sam, smiling and picking it up.

xxxx

When we were done, Sam researched some and I sat in the back seat typing up an e-mail to Jen, and then texting her—strange, but we did it often. Then as Dean pulled a minimart sandwich out to eat it in the driver's seat, his phone rang. How it got into the backseat and out of his jeans pocket I had no idea, but I picked it up and frowned: who the Hell was Tiffany.

"Blech." Dean said, tossing back a wrapper that hit the side of the seat next to me. "You know, someday I'd like to just sit down and eat something I didn't have to microwave at a minimart."

Dean chewed vigorously as I sighed and put the wrapper in a bag and ate my Quaker Granola bar, ignoring the call and handing Dean his phone when he turned around. I sighed as Sam and Dean argued whether Andy was the culprit or not, and then Andy showed up at our car door. It was a little disconcerting, but at the same time I was willing to let it slide because Andy was mighty gorgeous.

"Why are you following me?" Andy asked as Dean looked nervous.

"Well see we're lawyers and a relative of yours passed away—" Sam began.

"Tell the truth." Andy interrupted forcefully.

Sam decided to start again. "Like I said—"

"—we hunt demons." Dean blurted, and Sam and I looked at him.

"Dean." Sam said in a worried voice as I sighed.

"Demons?" Andy asked skeptically.

I swallowed a little. "Dean."

"Demons and spirits. Things your worst nightmare wouldn't even touch. Lana here is my girlfriend, and Sam here's my brother." Dean continued.

"Dean, shut-up!" Sam said, squirming now as Dean wouldn't shut up.

"I'm trying." Dean shot at Sam. "He's psychic—kinda like you. Well not really like you…" He said as Sam smiled awkwardly at Andy. "But see he thinks you're a murderer and he's afraid he might become one himself because you're all part of something that's terrible and I hope to Hell he's wrong, but I'm starting to get a little scared that he's right." Dean said, smiling awkwardly now. "And all Lana can do is flirt with him in plain eyesight when it kills me and she's all werewolfish so I guess she's not affected by you."

Andy nodded and got all commanding. "Okay, you know what? Just leave me alone."

"Okay." Dean said, and then he stopped smiling and cowered as Sam and I wheeled on him.

Sam got out of the car to talk to Andy and show him that his mind powers didn't work on him, and Sam motioned for Dean to stay put as he and I got out of the car. Sam asked why he killed the doctor as he began to have a painful vision, and I went over to him while Andy swore that he didn't kill the doctor. Sam started to fall over, so Dean and I helped him up—I was worried about Sam and his visions.

Sam started to talk about how a woman was going to kill herself, and Andy was confused as to how Sam knew she was _going_ to. I smiled at Andy and then Sam and I sent Dean off to check as we kept an eye on Andy and I kept an eye on Dean after a fire truck went past us. I could ask Dean about the phone call later when all of this cooled down and we finished this hunt.

"You need something?" I asked, looking Sam in the eye and resting my hand on his cheek.

Sam smiled a little and shook his head. "Nah, I'm good. Thanks though, Lan."

"So…you two in love or something?" Andy asked us.

I turned to him but Sam answered him first. "No…she's just my family—Dean's the one that's in love with her."

"I got that." Andy said with a nod "It's why I asked."

"You know, Andy…you really don't strike me as a murderer." I told him, stepping over to him and holding out my hand. "I'm Lana."

Andy smiled at me. "Andy."

I smiled at him and he and I started to talk a little until Dean called us to say the woman was dead, and Sam came to the conclusion that Dean was right—Andy was innocent. Andy and Sam began to talk and I leaned against the fence, and then Dean came back. He explained that he had talked to Ash and Ash had found out that Holly Beckett, the victim, had given birth when she was 18 back in 1983 on the same day that Andy was born. Andy said he could get us into the County Records to get the birth records, and used his power of coercion.

"These aren't the droids you're looking for." Andy mocked as the old man left.

"Awesome." Dean replied as I giggled and winked at Andy.

Sam searched through the files. "Andy, its true: Holly Beckett was your birth mother."

"Has anyone got a Vicodin?" Andy asked as I took the papers from Sam.

"Apparently Dr. Jennings was her doctor too. He oversaw the adoption. It all links you." I explained as I looked the papers over too. "But it gets better…you have a twin brother."

"I have an evil twin." Andy said, trying to take it all in.

I smiled a little at him. "I have Dean getting his picture faxed from the DMV now."

"What's my brother's name?" Andy asked.

Sam looked over at him. "Ansem Weems. He's got a local address."

"He lives _here_?" Andy asked.

When Dean handed us the picture, Andy was freaked—it was the same guy that worked with him when he had started his job a year ago. As we talked about it more in the car, Sam began to groan and I unbuckled my seatbelt and scooted closer to the front seats as Andy gave me a little more room, and I placed my hands on Sam's shoulders.

"Sammy, honey? Are you okay?" I asked him.

"Sam?" Dean asked and then he stopped the car and we got out to as Sam had another painful vision. "Hey! Hey!"

Sam swallowed and looked at us. "He's going after Tracy."

As Dean got into the trunk, Sam told Dean to stay with the car and Dean didn't object—he didn't want anyone messing with his mind anymore. When we got to the car that Ansem and Tracy were in, Sam threatened Ansem with a gun and then we realized he could do his mind control without words—he could use his mind. Andy had to use his power on Tracy to get her to stop when she hit Sam with a large stick and Sam fell to the ground and I turned to Ansem.

"You really think you're something else, don't you?" I asked him.

Ansem smiled at me. "You can join Tracy in a flying act."

"Your mind powers don't work on me." I told him, going to Sam to check him over.

"Why not?" Ansem asked, not amused with me anymore.

Andy came close to me as if he was protecting me. "She's special."

"Like us?" Ansem asked, a little more amused now.

Andy shook his head. "More special than us."

As Sam began to get up as Ansem talked about the demon and about how he was just killing the people that were between them, I had the feeling something bad was going to happen with Dean and I looked up as Ansem said, "I see you."

"What are you going to do?" I asked suddenly.

"Your boyfriend is about to blow his own head off with the sniper he has pointed at me." Ansem replied to me. "Bye-Bye."

Then Andy shot his brother and Tracy gulped as Sam stood up and I ran to where Dean had been and looked him over. It had scared me half to death when Ansem was going to have Dean shoot himself, and I really couldn't handle losing him. I knew then more than ever that there was no way I could live my life without Dean Winchester…I had to be there for him no matter what happened between us.

"You okay?" I asked him.

"I'm fine." He replied, smiling at me.

I looked at him and smiled back. "You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." Dean assured me, stroking my hair and then chuckling when I kissed him.

"I'm glad." I told him, showering him with kisses. "I am so, _so_ glad."

He smiled a little. "That means a lot."

I nodded and then we went to make sure everyone was all right since it was getting light out and the cops arrived, and Andy was getting better at his mind control. He came over to Sam, Dean and I and sighed. He was distraught and I couldn't blame him—he had loved Tracy very much and now she wasn't even giving him the time of day after he had accidentally used the mind control on her.

"She won't even look at me." Andy told us dismally.

"Yeah, she's pretty shaken up." Sam replied.

Andy shook his head because he knew that she was scared of him now. Sam told him that we had to leave, but left him his cell number so we could keep in touch. I even through in a flirtatious joke and though Andy appreciated it and Sam thought it was funny, Dean's smile really wasn't one of any amusement whatsoever.

"What am I supposed to do now?" Andy asked as we walked away.

Dean cleared his throat. "You be good, Andy…or we'll be back."

Sam stopped us and began to talk about how he thought the demon was pushing us into things and I looked at him as Dean told him we didn't know what the demon wanted. This was starting to get a little more complicated, and it was pretty obvious that everything we _thought_ we had known had gone right out the window. Now there was more for us to have to look into and I wasn't sure where all of that information was going to take us. How were Sam, Dean and I going to get through this? They needed me now more than ever and it was about time that I sucked up my problems and tried to help Sam through his visions and his fear of the demons plans for him.

"Even so, you're right—everyone is capable of murder under the right circumstances. We have to keep our guard up." I told him dismally. "I mean we shouldn't worry about it until we get to it, but…it's definitely something to be aware of."

Sam nodded and then looked at Dean. "You know I heard you Dean—when Andy made you tell the truth. You are just as scared of this as I am." Sam said.

"That was mind control!" Dean protested to us. "That—that—it's like being roofied man. It doesn't count." He said, pointing to Sam over the car. "No, no. I—I'm calling do-over."

"What are you, like 7?" Sam asked as I laughed.

"It doesn't matter. Look, we just gotta keep doing what we're doing. We gotta hunt the demon down and kill the son of a bitch." Dean said, and then his cell phone rang.

Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess."

Sam and I got into the car as Dean answered the phone and told Ellen we'd be right there. When we got to the Roadhouse, Ellen wanted to know if we wanted to tell her about the last case we had. I wanted to open myself up to her, but at the same time I knew that Dean was kind of wary of letting anyone else in and Ellen was good at reading me…

"Nope. Not really." Dean said, but she gave him a look as he sipped his beer. "No offense, but its kind of a family thing."

"Not anymore." Ellen said, showing us papers and hovering over us. "I got these from Ash. That Gallagher boy's house burned down on his 6-month birthday just like yours. You think it was the demon both times don't you?"

Sam nodded slowly. "We think so."

"Sam." Dean and I said.

"Why?" Ellen asked us.

"None of your business." Dean told her angrily.

"You mind your tongue with me, boy. This isn't just your war—this is war. Something big and bad is coming and its coming fast, and their side holds all the cards. Now at best, all we got is us. Together. No secrets or half-truths here." Ellen explained and Dean looked at her angrily as I sipped my beer.

I cleared my throat. "My father was a werewolf and I have powers—kind of like a sorceress. I'm immune to most things and the demon knows that I can't sense him. He uses that to his advantage because I have no way of identifying him. If I was more versed in my powers than I would, but my mother's powers helped to destroy her—the fire was the demon's way of showing me that he was in control. I guess that's a need to know on me, and if that freaks you out too much and you want me to leave…I understand that."

"There are people out there, like Andy Gallagher, like me, and, um, we all have this special ability." Sam said as Ellen looked at me and took it all in.

"Ability?" Ellen asked.

Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah. A psychic ability. Me, I, have um, visions, premonitions. It's different for everyone."

Dean looked annoyed Sam had said anything, and he and Ellen looked at each other angrily. Part of Ellen's anger with Dean was definitely because she knew that Dean and I were in a little bit of a standstill, but he was also being rude. If Sam wanted to come clean with her about it and trust her though…I was completely and utterly on board with that.

"The demon said he had plans for people like us." Sam continued.

Ellen looked confused. "What kind of plans?"

"We don't really know." Sam replied.

"These people…these psychics? Are they dangerous?" Ellen asked.

"No." Dean said. "Not all of them."

Sam nodded slowly. "But some of them are—very dangerous."

"How many are we looking at?" Ellen asked.

"We've been able to track a clear pattern so far. Their houses have caught on fire on the kid's 6-month birthday." Dean said.

"That's not true." Sam and I replied.

I took a deep breath. "Ansem Weems…Sam and I looked at his files and there were no house fires."

"Nothing out of the ordinary." Sam added.

"Which breaks pattern, and if there are anymore out there like him, there would be nothing in the systems. No way to track them all down." Ellen replied as Jo came up from grabbing a case of beer her mother had made her go get.

"And so who knows how many of them are really out there?" Dean asked.

Ellen nodded and turned to Jo. "Jo, honey?"

"Yeah?" Jo replied.

"You better break out the whiskey instead." Ellen said, wiping a counter down.

Dean and Sam both took a breath and then they went to go and talk to Ash, Ellen looking at me as I chewed on my lip and stared at my mug of beer dismally. She reached out and rested her hand on mine and I looked up at her and I smiled sadly.

"He's never going to want to settle down." I told her suddenly, not stopping myself. "Someday, when the demon was dead and gone I wanted to settle down, get married and have some kids, but…I can't have any. I'm not just upset about the miscarriage, Ellen…I'm upset because after the accident I went into surgery and I lost the baby and I lost enough of my uterus to make it so that I can't carry a baby." I told her, tears coming out of my eyes as Jo sat down next to me. "I mean at first I was kind of terrified that I was having a baby, but then I was in love with the idea of becoming a mother and now I just…I'm trying. Sam and Dean need me and I need them so I can't hide from hunting anymore and talking about it all makes me feel like it isn't really my crutch anymore."

Ellen squeezed my hand reassuringly. "Lana you're going to be okay eventually, you just have to give it some time…and you need to talk to your boyfriend."

I nodded slowly and wiped the tears away, a little more worried about who the Hell Tiffany was…

**Note: There you have it. It's a lot shorter than the last chapter, but it was important for character development. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	24. The Things That Come Back to Haunt Us

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I have to say that I love this story.**

**I know it's vain, but yeah.**

**I hope you love this!**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

I smiled a little, biting my finger as Dean looked at me and opened his eyes slowly. He chuckled and closed his eyes again, still a little too asleep to worry about the fact that I was watching him. On the one hand I really just wanted to spend time with him, but on the other hand, I wanted to know who Tiffany was—she'd called the day before and I was pretty sure that Dean had cheated on me.

Still, I had no proof yet and Sam wasn't spilling his guts to me, so there was nothing for me to do but wait. I mean I had a plan set in motion, but if she called again I was just going to get upset about it and demand some answers. What if he had another girlfriend? What if he was going to dump me soon?

"Are you awake?" I asked him softly.

Dean smiled. "Do I look awake to you?"

"I think _someone_ should wake up now." I mused, climbing on top of him and sitting on his torso.

"Yeah? I'm not so sure about that." Dean replied, opening his eyes and smiling at me. "You know I kind of really missed the man boxers."

I smiled and leaned down to kiss him, moving against him a little and then sighing when his phone went off. Dean shook his head as I pulled away, trying to bring me back in for a kiss, but I picked his phone up and looked at the cover. When I sat up and gave him a look he sighed a little and I showed him his phone.

"Maybe Tiffany can get you up." I said and dropped the phone on his chest growling a little when he grabbed my arms so I couldn't leave. "Dean, let go!"

Dean shook his head. "No, Lanni—you and I need to talk about this."

"I needed space to deal with the fact that I can't _ever_ give you children and you went out and banged some chick named Tiffany! Dean, how could you? I've been hurting and I've been keeping it to myself because you have things to work through and yet I never jumped into bed with someone else!" I yelled.

"Lanni, I know I can't make it better, but can you please just hear me out?" Dean asked me, sitting up, our faces now close together.

I hated it when he breathed on me because I actually liked it…I liked it a lot and he knew that I liked it. Still, I was pissed at him, so when he glanced at my lips and actually seemed a little lustful, it upset me even more. He and I weren't even separated a week and he was in bed with someone else…what did that say about our relationship? What did that say about how he _truly_ felt about me?

"Fine…just let me go." I told him, my eyes boring into his.

Dean let go of my hands and sighed. "I'm really sorry about what I did. Does it occur to you that maybe I'm completely ashamed of myself for it?"

"You know what, Dean? I can see you feeling bad about it…but that doesn't change how much this is hurting me. How long did you wait? A day? An hour?" I asked him angrily, getting off of him. "I am completely in love with you, and you knew that! I've always been there for you! Yeah, I told you I needed some space and I couldn't do that hunt but that's because I was in so much pain I had to deal with that in order to be there for you like I used to be!"

"Does it occur to you that pushing me away hurt me even more?" Dean asked me.

My mouth gaped open. "Are you…_defending_ what you did?"

"No! No, of course I'm not!" Dean protested.

"Well it sounds like you are!" I yelled biting my lip as Dean got off of the bed too.

He came over towards me but stopped and sighed when I held my hands up to stop him and shook my head. I was hurt—I was hurting everywhere—and I really wished that I could wrap my head around him trying to apologize, but I couldn't. On top of that, Tiffany tried calling again and she was just making the whole thing between us so much worse than it could have been.

"I seriously need to change my number." Dean said angrily, snatching up his phone and silencing it.

I shook my head. "Ellen was wrong."

"You talked to Ellen about this?" Dean asked me.

"I thought I was different, Dean! I mean I thought that I had actually found out who you really were, and now this! Do you even really love me?" I asked him, the tears coming back. "I mean you talk to Sam more than you talk to me anymore!"

Dean growled and at first I was surprised, but it was kind of more surprising that instead of being upset he was growling, I was upset he wasn't talking. He just ran his fingers through his hair, and then he stepped closer to me and I shot him a warning glance. This was no way in the world that he was going to get through this argument trying to reach out and touch me—he was in _so_ much trouble with me.

"How _dare_ you ask me if I love you?" Dean asked me angrily.

I scoffed. "How _dare_ I? I'm pretty sure people who are in love don't go around sleeping with other people when the going gets rough!"

"I am _sorry_ that I did that, Lanni! I was drunk, I was lonely, and I was stupid!" Dean tried, pleading with me now. "Don't you think I've been kicking myself over it? I would do _anything_ to take back hurting you!"

"Well you _can't_ take it back, Dean! All you can do is try to make it all better!" I exclaimed.

Dean ran his fingers through his hair. "Talk to me about the baby."

I opened my mouth to say something else, but honestly I didn't want to talk about the baby right then—I wanted to know about this girl he'd cheated on me with. On the other hand I _did_ want to talk to Dean about the baby and he knew that was part of why I was mad. I opened my mouth again to start having a conversation with him but his phone went off again…so I went out of the bedroom door and headed to the main area of the hotel room.

xxxx

**Sam's POV**

I swallowed when Lana came out of the bedroom and wiped her eyes, heading straight for the refrigerator. Normally I wouldn't try to get in the middle of it all, but Lana and Dean meant a lot to me, and so I headed into the bedroom and shut the door behind me. Dean was sitting on his bed and looked up at me, sighing loudly and shaking his head.

"Dean, you have to talk about this with her, whether she walks away or not—be persistent." I protested.

Dean gave me a look. "Sam, this isn't any of your business."

"Actually, it kind of is—the two of you are my company, Dean. I hunt with you two I travel with you two, and you guys arguing all the time is kind of disrupting everything. So if you won't talk to her about it right now, I think you should at least talk to _someone_ about it." I explained to him.

"I just…I messed up, Sammy." Dean told me.

I nodded and sat down on the bed next to him, waiting for him to say what it was he was going to say. He needed to come clean about things and since he and Lana were obviously not speaking to each other, it was time for me to step in. The two were stubborn, and they were hurt, and they just needed to come clean with each other.

"Why can't you just tell her that you want a family with her?" I asked slowly as Dean just shook his head at me.

He looked at his hands. "Because that's going to hurt her, Sammy. Do you even understand how badly she wants to have a family with me? I think I keep proving over and over again that I don't deserve her in the first place—she's not going to just forgive me."

"The two of you are so damn stubborn!" I cried suddenly. "What is wrong with you? Relationships include having conversations you don't want to have! Please just…just _talk_ to each other!"

Dean took a breath and just sat there, making me sigh and leave the room, Lana looking at me from the couch. I sat down next to her and she looked directly at me, both of us making eye contact and I knew what was coming next.

"Thanks for trying, Sammy, but Dean and I just need to be upset with each other right now—especially me." Lana told me. "I know you have good reason to want us to talk to each other, but he cheated on me and I need to come to terms with that before talking to him about other things."

"I know that he shouldn't have done what he did but you pushed him away and it broke him. Try to take some responsibility for what you two have gotten yourselves into and grow up." I said, reaching out and stroking her hair. "It hurts, but it's just going to keep hurting until you talk to each other—that's my two cents."

Lana nodded at me and when it was obvious to me that their fight was over for the day, I gave up for a little while. The two spent the rest of the day just kind of glancing at each other and then we all decided to head to the Roadhouse. It seemed like one of those days, and I was just willing to do anything to get the two to talk to each other again.

"Los Angeles, California." Dean said, shutting the trunk of the car when we got there.

I laughed a little. "What's in L.A.?"

"A young girl's been kidnapped by an evil cult." Dean replied as Lana tried to look uninterested in the conversation, but it was obvious that she was.

"Yeah? The girl got a name?" I asked him.

"Katie Holmes." Dean said, looking up as he fumbled with his keys.

Lana and I both laughed. "That's funny."

"And, for you, so bitchy." I added with a smile.

Lana actually looked like she was going to say something to him and hers and Dean's eyes met, but then we heard yelling coming from the Roadhouse. At first I was pretty upset because Lana and Dean were finally going to talk some things out and I needed their tension relieved, but then I decided we should check it out. Lana was the first taking off to go inside, and I sighed loudly.

"I'm going!" Jo cried from inside the saloon.

"Over my dead body!" Ellen yelled back.

"You're flipping out over nothing!" Jo replied.

Dean smirked. "Of course, on the other hand, cat fight."

"We probably shouldn't intrude." I told them, but I followed them anyway.

"I am your mother, I don't have to be reasonable!" Ellen told her daughter.

Jo looked utterly upset. "You can't keep me here!"

"Oh don't you bet on that sweetie!" Ellen replied with a small laugh.

"What are you gonna do? You gonna chain me up in the basement?" Jo asked as we came in.

"You know what, you've had worse ideas than that recently!" Ellen said angrily, violently moving chairs. "You don't want to stay you don't have to. Why—why don't you go back to school?"

Jo made a derisive noise in her throat. "I didn't belong there! I was a freak with a knife collection!"

"Yeah but getting yourself killed on some dusty back road—_that's_ where you belong?" Ellen asked angrily.

Jo stopped and looked behind her mother, who turned to look at us. Lana smiled awkwardly and Ellen shot us a look that was making me feel uncomfortable. Dean looked like was enjoying the argument and Lana seemed to think we'd imposed and was second-thinking barging in like this. Actually…I was kind of second-thinking barging in as well and when Ellen spoke, I knew we should head out.

"Guys, bad time." Ellen told us.

I nodded in her direction. "Yes, Ma'am."

"We rarely drink before 10:00 anyways." Dean said, starting to turn to leave.

"We'll let you guys be. Sorry for _intruding_." Lana stressed to Dean and I, but more to Dean than to me—she was definitely still working through her anger.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I was trying to do what Sam wanted, but I still needed a bit of space and Ellen and Jo fighting was striking a nerve. Dean and I had to argue things out, but right now we were intruding on someone else's time to work through issues and we shouldn't have been. So it was time for us to give Ellen and Jo space and for Dean and I to fix things…if not for our sake, than for Sam's.

"Wait! I want to know what _they_ think about this." Jo said, walking over to us as we began to head out of the saloon.

"I don't care what they think!" Ellen told her as a family walked in.

The man spoke up. "Are you guys open?"

"Yes!" Ellen shouted as Jo shouted, "No!"

The man chuckled nervously and then he turned to his wife a little and then back to all of us. He was obviously aware that he had entered at a bad time and he was feeling about as awkward as the boys and I were feeling. So he just nodded a little and smiled awkwardly, all of us knowing what was going to happen before it did.

"We'll just check out the Arby's down the road." He informed us, his wife and kids leaving with him.

Before anyone could continue anything, the phone rang and we all just stood our ground. At first Jo and Ellen just looked at it, but then Ellen gave in and went to answer it. Jo was pretty certain she had found her 'in' and smiled, me stepping closer to Dean and getting ready to handle this because Dean really didn't need to.

"Harvelle's. Yeah, Preacher." She said as Jo whirled on us and started talking to me since I'd taken Dean's spot.

"Three weeks ago, a young girl disappears from a Philadelphia apartment." She said, handing the file to me, not letting the shift of focus bother her, Dean's eyes on me the whole time. "Take it. It won't bite."

"Your mother isn't going to be so happy about it, but…" I took a deep breath and then took the file from her, opening it up.

Jo nodded at me. "And this girl wasn't the first. In the past 80 years 6 women have vanished. All from the same apartment, all young blondes. It only happens every decade or two so the cops never eyeball the pattern. So either we'll dealing with a very old serial killer—"

"Who put this together? Ash?" Dean asked her, looking at it over my shoulder.

"I did it myself." Jo replied.

I smiled at her. "It's very well put together, Jo. I'm willing to convince the boys to do it if you want."

"I got to admit, we hit the road for a lot less." Sam admitted with a nod.

"Good. If you like the case so much, _you_ take it." Ellen said, having got off of the phone.

Jo whirled on her mother. "Mom!"

"Joanna Beth this family has lost enough." Ellen told her, and I put my hand up to my mouth and I rested my face on it and thought about it. "I won't lose you too. I just won't."

I smiled at them and then rested my hand on Jo's shoulder, her sighing and then watching as the boys and I left. We already had our duffles packed so we got right onto the road and I swallowed, leaning forward a little. Dean noticed the movement and shifted a little, his eyes hitting the rearview mirror and he nodded slowly when I placed my hand on his shoulder and Sam smiled.

The three of us stayed pretty silent though, up until we were finally in Philadelphia and we stopped to get some gas. Dean glanced at me as he got the pump, and I got out of the car and leaned on it, looking at him. He smiled a little and stuck the nozzle into the car, stepping up closer to me, and I let him.

"I'm not breaking up with you." I told him softly.

He smiled a little. "I don't deserve that…but I'm really glad you're not."

"When we get to the apartment complex…I'd really like to talk things out with you." I explained to him.

"I think that's a good idea." He replied, leaning in a little and then stopping. "May I?"

I smiled softly and then kissed him, letting him deepen it just a little, but then I pulled away and got back into the car. He finished up getting the gas and then we made it to the apartment complex, all of us sneaking our way upstairs. We just wanted to get in, get the job done, and then get out and move on.

"I feel kinda bad snaking Jo's case." Sam said as we got into the apartment.

"Well, maybe she put together a good file, but can you see her out here working one of these things?" Dean asked. "I don't think so. You getting anything?"

Sam shook his head. "No, not yet."

"Guys…here. Shit!" I said when I got to the door, reaching out and touching the gooey black substance, looking at it on my finger. "This is ectoplasm. I haven't dealt with a spirit _this_ pissed off since the one that Jen and I found when we were 18."

"Oh God, guys—it's the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man." Dean said in a scared voice.

Sam looked at him and wished he'd be serious. "Dean, I've only seen this stuff like twice."

"All right, let's find this badass before it snags anymore girls." Dean replied.

I nodded at him, sighing because I wanted to talk to him, but we had a case to do and the fact that we had found ectoplasm was definitely incentive to move our asses. So we headed out of the apartment to go and do some more research, but then we heard talking and hid. We definitely didn't want to get caught, and this was a little too close for comfort to be completely honest.

"Yeah, it's a great building. I fixed it up nice. All the apartments come furnished too." A man explained.

"It's so spacious. You know my friend told me that I absolutely had to come and check it out, and she was so right. You did a really good job with this place." Jo told the landlord.

We came out of hiding in the hallway and Sam said, "What are you doing here?"

"There you are, Honey." Jo said coming over to him and putting her arm around him as I raised an eyebrow. "This is my boyfriend, Sam and his brother Dean and his girlfriend, Lana."

"Nice to meet you." The landlord told him. "Quite a gal you got here."

I smiled at him. "Who wouldn't love her?"

"So did you already check out the apartment?" Jo asked Sam. "The one for rent." She added as there was silence, and she laughed a little.

Sam immediately went with the flow. "Yeah, I loved it."

"How'd you get in?" The Landlord asked, raising his eyebrows.

"It was open." Dean replied.

Jo cut right into the conversation. "Now, Ed, when did the last tenant move out?"

"Oh, about a month ago. Cut and Run too—stiffed me with the rent." Ed said, annoyed.

"Well, her loss, our gain." Jo said as Sam and I took the information in. "Cause if Sammy loves it, it's good enough for me."

"Oh, Sweetie." Sam, smiling another fake smile as Jo smiled big and hugged him to her.

When he nudged her she stopped smiling for a second and then she pulled out a large wad of bills. Ed looked at her in awe and took the money from her, telling us it was nice to have us for tenants. Then we headed to the apartment and put all of our stuff down, me laughing a little, Jo's eyes twinkling as she realized she was the one amusing me.

"I'll flip you for the sofa." Jo told Sam. "I mean I just assume these crazy kids are going to take the bed."

"Does your mother even know you're here?" Dean asked her, loading his gun with rock salt as I sat down at the table.

Jo shrugged at him. "I told her I was going to Vegas."

"You think she's going to buy that?" Dean asked her.

"I'm not an idiot. I got Ash to lay a credit card trail all the way to the casinos." Jo replied.

"You shouldn't lie to your mom—you shouldn't be here either." Dean said, finishing loading his gun as I went over to my bag and I pulled out a lollipop.

She looked at the three of us and we all gave her along the same look: go back home. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy her company, it was just that she was Ellen's daughter, and Ellen had been showing me so much hospitality. I figured maybe it was my place to be a little less hostile, but before I could speak, she was countering Dean.

"Well I am, so untwist your boxers and deal with it." She told Dean.

Sam stepped in. "Where'd you get all that money from?"

"Working at the Roadhouse." Jo replied.

"Hunters don't tip that well." I told her.

"They aren't good at poker either." Jo said a smug look on her face. "They're definitely worse than Jennifer."

I laughed loudly and Jo and I high-fived and then I swallowed and pulled my now ringing cell phone out of my jeans pocket. I showed it to Jo and she shook her head at me, telling me not to pick it up for her mother. I had to though, and Jo shook her head vigorously as I answered it as sweetly as I could. I could lie to Ellen…right?

"Where is she?" Ellen asked me before I could even say 'hello'.

I smiled as best I could. "Hey, Ellen—where's who?"

"Jo told me that she was heading to Vegas but I don't believe that for a second. Is she with you?" Ellen asked me.

"No, she's not here." I said, and Dean shot me a look—he wanted me to turn her in.

Ellen sighed loudly. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Ellen…I'm sure." I lied, biting my lip and wishing I hadn't. "I'll let you know if she shows though, all right?"

"All right. Bye, Lana." Ellen told me.

"Bye." I replied, and hung up the phone, turning to Jo. "Don't _ever_ make me lie to your mother again!"

Jo laughed a little and told me she'd try, and then the three of us set to looking at layouts of the apartment and researching it. Jo kept flipping a little knife around in her hand as Dean paced and Sam read some papers, and I looked some things up on my laptop. We needed to be smart about this, and soon Jo and I were pretty certain we had exactly what we needed.

"This place was built in 1924. It was originally an apartment converted into apartments a few months ago." Jo explained to the boys.

Dean nodded at her. "Yeah? What was here before 1924?"

"Nothing. An empty field." Jo replied.

"So the most likely scenario—someone died bloody in the building, and now he's back and raising Hell." Sam told us.

I shook my head. "Jo and I already checked—in the past 82 years, no violent deaths, unless you count a janitor that slipped on a wet floor."

"Would you sit down, please?" Jo asked Dean, pointing the blade at him casually.

Dean took a seat next to her, across from Sam and I looked up at her from next to Sam across from her and wanted to say something, but kept my mouth shut. This was about the hunt—not about anything else so I was going to keep it that way. Besides, I trusted Dean, and I trusted Jo…even after everything Dean had put me through.

"Try not to stab him with that." I told Jo, her smiling at my joke.

Dean rolled his eyes. "So have you checked Police reports? County Records?"

"Obituaries, Mortuary reports, and seven other sources—I know what I'm doing." Jo told him.

"The jury's still out on that one." Dean replied as Sam looked at them with amusement. "Would you put the knife down?"

"Dean, focus." I told him as Jo slowly began to put it down.

Sam nodded at us. "Okay! So, um, it's gotta be something else then. Maybe some kind of cursed object that brought a spirit with it."

"We gotta scan the whole building. Whatever we can get to, right?" Jo asked him.

I nodded at her. "Right—so, you and Dean can take the top floors."

"We'd move faster if we split up." Jo protested, giving me a look.

"Oh, this is not negotiable." Dean told her and then looked at me. "Something tells me you're up to something, Lanni."

I smiled at him. "That would be because I am—I don't so much think its an object…just a feeling."

"Well go with your gut." Dean said, and then kissed when he and Jo started to follow Sam to the door. "We'll look around for an object just in case, and you do your thing."

I nodded at him and told them to be careful, looking over the research some more and trying to focus. There was just something off about it—I just felt like something happened on that field. If something bad or big enough happened on the field way back when, then a spirit could have been angry enough to keep killing things…it was a good theory…but I had no proof.

Still, I poured over all of the information until they came back, none of them having found anything. I told Dean we shouldn't take the bed and to let Jo have it since she wasn't used to this 'roughing it' thing and Dean sighed but agreed with me. Then he tried to see if I was any closer on my hunch, and I told him I was, but there was nothing conclusive and he sat down next to me, really close.

"You want to nab the bedroom really quick to talk?" Dean asked me.

I nodded slowly, aware that Jo and Sam were watching us. "Yeah."

Dean took my hand and we headed into the bedroom, him shutting the door behind us and then looking at me. It was about time we talked about things, and I took a deep breath and decided I should start us off. Instead, Dean started talking and I realized that he cared enough to try and work through this with me.

"I know that I shouldn't be forgiven for what I did with that waitress." Dean told me.

"Tiffany." I said with a nod, shoving my hands in my pockets.

Dean raised his eye brows. "What?"

"The waitress? Her name is Tiffany and she's really annoying because she seems to think she's going to get more of you." I told him, throwing my hands up in the air and then nodding at him to continue.

Dean came over to me and kissed me, and I sighed a little and pushed him off. I wanted to kiss him—I wanted to be made up with him—but kissing wasn't talking and we needed to talk. We needed to talk, and we needed to argue and Dean nodded at me when I took a step back and listened to me.

"I was wrong to push you away, Dean, but I needed to have some time to adjust. I _wanted_ to be a mother, and I wanted to have kids with you and I won't ever have that!" I told him, taking a breath. "I know I have to get over it, and just be all right with just having you be my family because it's not the end of the world, but…I'm always going to be upset about it. I was getting better, but then Tiffany. I bet _she_ can have kids!"

Dean put his hands on my shoulders. "Damn-it, Lanni I don't _care_ about Tiffany! I don't even really remember anything about her! All that matters here is _you_! I just don't want to be without _you_! I could care less about children!"

"Do you really mean that?" I asked him, stepping closer to him.

"Of course I do." Dean replied, stroking my hair and smiling a little. "Sam told me that I just needed to come clean with you and _tell_ you that I wanted a family. I just didn't want to hurt you since I know this is killing you."

It was a sweet gesture and I appreciated the sentiment but then his words sank in—he had just contradicted himself. He didn't care less about children but he wanted a family with me? How did that make sense? And why was he talking about the baby and about having a family with me with _Sam_? I only told Sam the basics, and I had been very good about talking to Dean first and _then_ talking to Sam. What else was Dean hiding?

"You want kids?" I asked him.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "What? I thought I just said—"

"—you said Sam told you to just tell me you wanted a family…that kind of suggests you want kids." I told him, taking a step back.

"Damn-it, Lana! Why do you keep finding things to be mad about?" Dean asked me angrily. "I just want things to go back to normal."

I sighed loudly. "Dean, we can't go backwards! Do you, or do you _not_ want to have a kid with me someday?"

Dean ran his hand down his face in frustration and I nodded because it was so obviously the answer I'd been dreading—he did. He hadn't wanted it at first, but me being pregnant had made him want it, and now he couldn't stop thinking about it…just like I couldn't. Why did this have to happen to _me_? This completely wasn't fair.

"Dean, I can't give you children." I told him sadly, shrugging a little and shaking my head.

Dean came to me and kissed me, which made part of me want to cry, but when his hands went to my waist and he hoisted me up, I gave in. I wanted to be close to him and even though I was heartbroken that I couldn't give him what he wanted, I wanted him. He loved me, and even though I couldn't have any kids for him when our hunting was over, I was glad that he still wanted to be with me.

"There are other ways to have a baby and we don't have to think about it now." Dean told me, lying me down on the bed and kissing me again.

I smiled a little against his lips. "You've thought about that?"

Dean nodded and stroked my hair, opening his mouth to say something but a knock interrupted us as my hands went to Dean's belt. It kind of annoyed me that I hadn't gotten to have sex at all lately, and though annoyed when Jo's voice came floating through the door, I knew it wasn't her fault. Dean told her we were going to come out and get ready to research a little and turn in, and then he kissed me, sweet and slow and I smiled at him.

"I'm glad we yelled." I told him sincerely.

Dean nodded and got off of me. "Me too, Lanni…me too."

xxxx

Jo and I didn't end up sleeping—we stayed up and even made a coffee run together, pouring over the research. Sam slept on the bed while Dean slept on the couch, and when it got a little later in the morning and Sam woke up, he went out to make another coffee run and Jo and I just went over things as she flipped her knife. I'd found out that the knife was her father's, and she had lost him to a hunt when she was little.

"I don't have any ideas." I said dismally, looking at Jo. "I think my theory is retarded."

Jo smiled at me. "I don't and better yet, Dean doesn't."

"Yeah, but Dean also knows he has things to make up to me so he's intentionally being the good boyfriend." I told her with a laugh. "Speaking of my handsome princess—I think he's waking up."

Jo laughed and we both looked over at the couch, Dean stirring and grunting a little. He looked over at us and squinted, closing his eyes and then opening them again, focusing on Jo and me peering at him.

"Morning, Princess." Jo told Dean.

"Where's Sam?" Dean groaned.

I smiled at him. "Went to get coffee."

"Ohh. My back." Dean said as he sat up. "How'd you sleep on that big, soft bed?"

"Jo and I actually didn't sleep at all." I informed him, Jo nodding. "We've just been going over everything."

Dean nodded slowly and then crossed over to his bag, Jo and I watching his every movement. He rummaged through it and pulled a knife out, coming over to the table and holding it out to Jo. She looked at him, confused and I shot him a look, knowing what was coming next and feeling bad that Jo was going to have to talk about it.

"What's this for?" Jo asked him.

"It'll work a hell of a lot better than that little pig stick you keep twirling around." Dean replied and studied the knife she handed to him.

Jo took a breath. "William Anthony Harvelle."

Dean noticed that he had stepped on some pretty fragile territory and he nodded as I looked at Jo and smiled sadly. The two of us had bonded over our fallen fathers already, and now Dean was going to be let into the discussion.

"I'm sorry. My mistake." Dean said after a pause, and they traded back knives.

"What do you—what do you remember about your Dad? What's the first thing that pops into your head?" Jo asked Dean, smiling at him as he shook his head. "Come on, tell me."

The look on her face made something inside of me move, and I looked down at my phone and played with the flippy top as Dean spoke up. She really just wanted to bond with all of us and be accepted and I was glad to be able to call her my friend. Besides, when Dean started his story I had to smile a little more because he'd already told me the same story and so I listened and poured over the information again.

"I was 6 or 7, and, uh, he took me shooting for the first time—bottles on the fence, that kind of thing. I bull's-eyed every one of them." He said smiling as he sat down. "And he would smile, like…I don't know."

"He must have been proud." Jo told him.

Dean chuckled a little. "What about your Dad?"

"I was still in pigtails when my Dad died, but, I remember him coming home from a hunt. He'd burst through that door like—like he was Steve McQueen or something—and he'd sweep me up into his arms, and I'd breathe in that old leather jacket of his…and my mom—who was sour and pissed from the moment he left—started smiling again." Jo said, smiling a little as she remembered it. "And we were…we were a family. You wanna know why I want to do the job? For him. It's my way of being close to him. Now tell me, what's wrong with that?"

"There's nothing wrong with that, Jo." I told her, reaching out and squeezing her hand, smiling when she smiled back at me. "Now want to here some good new about this hunt you've found us?"

Jo beamed at me. "What good news?"

"You know how you told me I was just looking in the wrong place and _obviously_ something had to have happened on the grounds?" I asked her.

"Yeah…" She said, getting more and more excited, Dean chuckling at us.

I squealed a little. "Well this place was built next to a jail! People were hung over this very ground, and there's a list of 157 names we need to narrow down, but this is what we're dealing with!"

Jo beamed at me and we scooted closer together, pouring over the material as Sam burst in the door with the coffee. She and I started to go through the names as Sam handed the coffee to us all and then she would occasionally ask me if I got any vibes off of the names. It was pretty nice to have a girl friend like Jo around who like Jen, believed in me and what I could do since I was kind of a freak.

"That one!" I exclaimed as Jo pointed to a name. "Herman Webster Mudgett?"

Sam waved his hands. "Wait a minute, wait a minute…wasn't that H. H. Holmes' real name?"

"You gotta be kidding me." Dean said, chuckling a little.

"Jen says she sent you an e-mail about it." Jo said, handing me my phone as it went off. "You know, I think you, me and Jen would make a really amazing team."

I smiled at her. "Agreed."

I opened up my laptop and brought up the e-mail, clicking on the attachment, Dean coming to read over my shoulder. He nodded at it as Sam read too, me pretty proud of myself for the teamwork that Jo and I were accomplishing.

"Yep. Holmes was executed at Moyamensing on May 7, 1896." Dean read aloud.

"H. H. Holmes himself." Sam replied, a little excited. "Come on. I mean, what are the odds?"

Jo looked at the three of us. "Who is this guy?"

"The term 'multi-murderer'—they coined it to describe Holmes." I explained to her. "He was America's first serial killer before anybody even knew what a serial killer was."

"Yeah, he confessed to 27 murders. Some put the toll to over a hundred." Sam added.

"And his flavor of choice—petite blondes." Dean said, the three of us looking at Jo. "He used, uh, chloroform to kill them…which is what I smelled in the hallway last night. At his place cops found human remains, bone fragments, and long locks of bloody blonde hair. Boy, he sure knew how to pick 'em."

Jo nodded slowly. "We just find the bones, salt them and burn them, right?"

"It's not that easy." Sam replied as I nodded.

"His body is buried in town, but it's encased in a couple tons of cement." I told her as I scrunched up my face. "Story goes he didn't want people to mutilate his corpse, cause you know, it's what he used to do."

Sam cleared his throat. "You know something? We might have an even bigger problem than that."

"How does it get bigger than that?" Jo asked, miffed.

"Holmes built an apartment building in Chicago—they called it the Murder Castle." Sam told her. "The whole place was a death factory. They had trap doors, acid vats, Quicklime pits—he built these secret chambers…inside the walls."

I nodded at him. "He'd lock his victims in, keep them alive for days. Some he'd suffocate, others he let starve to death."

"So Theresa could still be alive? Inside _these_ walls." Jo told us.

Sam and I nodded and Dean ran his hand down his face as the wheels turned in all of our heads. We needed to work and we needed to work even faster if we were truly going to get this done. Dean was the first to rise and he looked directly at Sam as Jo and I exchanged looks and then looked up at him.

"We need sledgehammers. Crobars. We gotta knock down these walls anywhere big enough to hide a girl." Dean told his brother.

I nodded at him. "There's something more, I know it—it just doesn't seem like the end."

"What more could there be?" Jo asked.

"You guys go on and get in those walls, and I'm going to do a spell." I explained to them.

Jo looked at me. "A what? Lana you told me you didn't do that…and if you are going to, can't you just cast out spirits?"

"Unlike common belief, Jo, we don't just hold séances and cast out spirits—it's about self defense—like karate. Well, at least those of us that don't use our powers just to kill people and to go to other planes. Our powers link us to the earth—that's what Jen and I were taught when we were really little and being exposed to our powers. I'm going to meditate a bit and find him, and you three check the walls." I explained, and then took her hand, her turning and looking at me as she stood. "You had better be careful Jo—I don't want to lose you to him, all right? That being said—if you two let anything happen to her, I am killing you."

Jo smiled at me and squeezed my hand reassuringly, Sam smiling at me and nodding, Dean leaning down and kissing me swiftly. I told them to be safe and keep each other close, and then when they left and shut the door behind them I sat on the floor and took candles out of my bag, putting them around in a circle and then pouring salt around me, because this could get dangerous. As I lit the candles and then sat cross-legged on the floor, I closed my eyes and began to chant Latin under my breath. I repeated the same phrase over and over, and then I felt something—there was a presence beneath me.

As I tried to pinpoint it, I heard Sam and Dean come in, and then my cell phone rang, which broke my concentration. Luckily, I had gotten what I needed, but I had really hoped to transport myself to where Theresa was so I knew her _exact _location. It would have to wait, however…Ellen was calling. I was pretty sure this wasn't going to be a very happy phone call, but I had to answer since I realized Sam and Dean had come back _without _Jo…shit!

"Hey, Ellen." I told her, knowing my fear seeped through.

Ellen was pissed. "You lied to me, Lana! I trusted you, and you lied! Ash told me everything—he's a genius, but he folds like a cheap suit! Put my daughter on the phone right now!"

"Ellen, I—" I began.

"—_now_,Lana!" Ellen repeated.

I took a deep breath as Sam and Dean looked at me. "The ghost got her, Ellen—but I swear to you that we're going to get her back!"

There was silence and then she was back. "I'll be on the first flight out there—see you soon."

I swallowed and nodded as she abruptly hung up the phone, and then closed the flippy top and looked at the boys. Dean and Sam were freaking out and went to pour over some maps, me standing up. It drew attention back to me and I took a deep breath, both of them focusing all attention on me. We had to save Jo, and we had to work fast before Holmes killed Jo and we had to explain to her mother that we had gotten her only daughter killed.

"Under the building—the old sewer system." I explained to them.

Dean nodded at that. "Let's go."

"You okay, Lan?" Sam asked as I started to head out with them and wobbled a little.

"A little woozy, but good. Let's go." I replied smiling at them reassuringly.

"You sure?" Sam asked. "Cause you can stay here."

I shook my head. "I know where the opening is—bring your EMF radar."

As we headed out, we walked around for a little bit before Sam's radar started picking things up. Without using the spell to directly pinpoint anything, we relied on the EMF radar, and found the place where the opening should be, dug it up, opened the hatch, and went down the little ladder part, crawling on our hands and knees in utterly filthy water, using our flashlights in the darkness.

When we got to the grate we needed, I shuddered convulsively and Sam reached out a hand to steady me. I could feel the strength of Holmes' presence, and I needed more than anything to just get this over with and do what Ellen had said I needed to do: learn to control my powers. Besides, I needed to save Jo and when I saw the ghost, I definitely got the adrenaline I needed to get more focused on the case at hand.

"Hey!" Dean cried, shooting at the ghost.

"No!" Holmes cried, disappearing, but we knew he wasn't gone.

I hurried over to Jo. "Are you all right?"

She nodded at me as Dean tossed Sam the crobar as Sam and I searched for the other girl who was alive. We found her, and Sam got her out and then we made sure Jo was really okay, and she wanted to get the Hell of here like I did, but Dean said she wasn't going to go just yet. I smacked his arm because I did _not_ like where this was going, but at the same time I knew we didn't have any other options.

"Remember when I said that you being bait was a bad plan? Well now it's kind of the only one we've got." Dean told her.

I reached out and took Jo's hand. "We've got your back, Jo—I won't let _anything _happen to you…_if _you want to do this."

"Lana, I can do this." Jo told me sincerely.

I nodded slowly and then we left Jo sitting on the ground with her back to the grate, where we were hiding, and she had her knife with her. The spirit appeared, and then we let bags of salt drop, and it formed a circle around him. He started screaming, and was really angry with us for trapping him, Jo standing up.

"Scream all you want, you Dick! But there's no way you're stepping over that salt!" Jo screamed at him.

I smiled at her and then we all got ready to fill in the place with cement, hoping to trap the ghost there forever. Jo, Sam and I stood at the hatch while Dean went to grab a cement truck and I smiled at Sam and Jo bonding. They were both dear to me, and I was really glad that they were both all right.

"So…is this job as glamorous as you thought it would be?" Sam asked Jo as we looked down the hatch.

"Well, except for all the pee-your-pants kind of terror, yeah." She admitted. "But that Theresa girl is gonna live a life because of us. Isn't that worth it?" Jo asked.

Sam nodded at her, smiling. "Yeah…yeah it is."

"Hey, what if somebody finds that sewer down there, or water washes the salt away?" Jo asked him suddenly.

"Both very fine points." Sam replied.

I smiled at him. "That's exactly why we're waiting here for Dean—he's grabbing a cement truck so that he can trap the ghost down there."

"You ripped off a cement truck?" Jo asked Dean as he and Sam got it ready to pour cement down the hole after Dean parked it.

"I'll give it back." Dean shrugged and we all smiled at each other. "Well that oughta keep him down there until Hell freezes over."

The four of us went to grab something to eat before Ellen called again and said she was at the airport. Dean drove us there and we all piled into the car, driving to the Roadhouse in the dark—it was an awkward ride. Ellen was mad at all of us, and I was pretty certain that no matter what we said, she was going to stay upset with us.

"Well, you—you really weren't kidding about flying out, were you?" Dean asked, trying to smile in the awkward silence.

I made a face. "Put a cork in it, Dean—not the time for jokes."

I sat in the middle of the back seat, Sam on my right and Jo on my left, and the three of us looked at each other as Ellen sat there silent in the passenger seat. Jo and Sam smiled at each other and I couldn't help but lean forward and try to work my magic on Ellen. I had lied to her and she was pretty certain that there was a _lot _I was going to have to do to win back her trust, but I was willing to do it.

"How about we listen to some music?" Dean asked, turning on the radio.

"You're cold as ice." The song began, but Ellen reached over and turned it off, and we all looked at each other again, listening to some more silence.

"This is gonna be a long car ride." Dean said and sighed when I spoke up.

I cleared my throat. "Ellen, can I—"

"—no." Ellen replied.

"Yeah, okay." I told her, and snuggled back into the seat, Sam and Jo both reaching out and taking my hands, Jo eying Sam's hand and then looking away quickly.

I frowned because her hearing Dean and I argue before—even if we _did_ make up—and now Sam holding my hand? That was seriously not a good thing and I wasn't stupid enough to think that this was going to end well. Still, we all sat there in silence until we got to the Roadhouse sometime in the middle of the next day and as Ellen dragged Jo into the Roadhouse, Sam and I followed.

"Ellen…this is my fault, okay?" I told her, sighing. "_I_ lied to you. I'm sorry that I did it, but Jo just worked so hard on this hunt and she did a great job."

Dean nodded. "I think her Dad would be proud."

Jo smiled at us, but Ellen got even angrier. "Don't you dare say that—not you." Ellen told him angrily as the smile was wiped off of Jo's face. "I need a moment with my daughter—alone."

The three of us nodded, and then went out of the saloon, leaning on the car and looking at each other. I felt terrible that Jo was going to get in trouble, and even though I knew it was kind of her fault for running off, I shouldn't have lied to her mother. On the other hand, I felt like Jo deserved to be able to do her own hunt when she had worked so hard on researching it—she had been a big help.

"That can't go well." I told the boys, looking towards the Roadhouse.

Dean reached out and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me to him. "What do you think is going on in there?"

"Probably a bit of a mother/daughter heart to heart." I told him, leaning into him.

"Ellen looked hurt as well as pissed." Sam added.

The three of us nodded and then we waited in silence until Jo came out, taking one look at Dean and then shaking her hurt, angry head a bit and walking off away from us. I hurried after her first, but the angry look had been shot at Dean. Still, I knew that part of this was my fault and I really wanted to help Jo out as much as I could.

"That bad, huh?" I asked herm trying to lighten the mood.

"Not right now." She said as Sam leaned on the car and Dean caught up to me.

Dean reached out to touch her shoulder. "What happened? Hey, talk to us."

"Get off me!" Jo cried throwing away his hand as he rested it on her should.

"Sorry. I'll see you around." Dean said, turning and walking back towards Sam as I stood there rooted in spot.

"Dean…" Jo began, and then Dean turned around and there was some silence. "It turns out my Dad had a partner on his last hunt. Funny, he usually worked alone—this guy too—but…but I guess my father figured he could trust him. A mistake. The guy screwed up, got my Dad killed."

I swallowed. "Jo…"

"What does this have to do with—" Dean asked.

"—it was your father, Dean." Jo said, cutting him off. "Your father was his partner and he was sent out on the hunt by your mother…Lana."

"What?" Dean asked as I shifted uncomfortably.

I swallowed and though at first I was completely surprised, it kind of made sense—John had hunted with my mother in the past. Still, I hated that John and my mother were part of some Jo's most painful memories. She was fatherless, and it was my mother's and Dean's and Sam's father's fault…I felt terrible.

Jo took a breath. "Why do you think John never came back, never told you about us? 'Cause he couldn't look my mom in the eye after that, that's why."

"Jo—" Dean began.

"—just go. Just get out of here…please, just leave." She told him and looked at me sadly. "I'm sorry, I just can't."

I nodded at her and she turned to walk away, Dean looking at the ground and then looking up at me. We had some more things to talk about, and I had some things to come clean about. We were finally pretty much patched up, and my past was coming back to bite me in the ass. This was just perfect…

**Note: As you can see this chapter was **_**way**_** different than the episode of it that aired on TV. Mainly that's because Lana is in the mix and she's the one that's actually close to Jo and to Ellen, so there were parts that had to be maneuvered around the characters. Besides, I had a lot of fun writing it the way that it is now and I love slowly unearthing Lana's past. Who wants to know all about that? We are sooooooo close to learning **_**all about **_**Lana's birth parents! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	25. Kissing the Wrong Brother

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I love this chapter a little TOO much, lol.**

**Hope you guys enjoy it!**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

**=D**

xxxx

"Wait a minute…_what_?" Dean asked me angrily as Sam sighed loudly and put his head in his hands.

I was fairly certain that the second I opened my mouth to explain things to them there was going to be a fight and I _really_ didn't want to fight right now. If there was one thing that I wanted to do right then, it was make-up with Dean for once and for all and try to put all of the bad stuff behind us. On top of it all though, _Sam_ was disappointed in me and I wasn't sure if I could handle that too.

"I wish that you had just told us the truth from the beginning! Why do you feel the need to hide so much from us?" Dean asked me, standing up and looking at me.

I swallowed down the lump in my throat. "I thought I was protecting the two of you."

"Well you're _not_! You're _hurting_ us!" Dean exclaimed, Sam shaking his head and sighing some more because he really didn't want to get involved in our fight right then—he and I would talk later, I knew it.

"Okay, I made a mistake, all right?" I yelled at him. "My _mother_ is the one that gives me every power that I have! _She_ was the witch! _She_ was the hunter! _She_ was the werewolf, _not_ my father! Are you happy now? What does it matter which one of my parents was the werewolf anyway? She was a hunter and John trusted her! I'm sorry that she was involved with the death of Jo's father, but come on! Why are you mad at me besides the lying?"

Dean ran his hand down his face. "You _lied_ to us, Lanni! _Lied_!"

"I'm not arguing about this anymore!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up into the air. "I'm done! I'm going to bed!"

Dean growled but nodded at me, and I took a deep breath and went into the bathroom, deciding to take a shower. As I stripped down though, Dean came into the bathroom too and shut the door behind him, making me roll my eyes and get into the shower making a face at Dean when he came to join me. To be fair, I really wanted to be with him, but he was mad at me and he had every right to be and I didn't know how into angry sex I was right then.

"If you want me to be in the mood—" I began, but nodded into the kiss that came to silence me—apparently I was _totally_ into angry sex right then. "Okay, I'm on board."

Dean nodded and hoisted me up, me wrapping my legs around his waist and moaning a little into his mouth at the friction between us when he pressed me up against the shower wall. He was still mad at me, but he knew that part of what I said had made sense, and the two of us were beyond done with being pissed at each other. We wanted things to go back to normal and for that to happen, we had to be pro-active, and I had to keep Sam and Dean _away_ from things involving my past.

"You need to be more truthful with me." Dean explained, pressing his body closer to mine and stroking my hair as I moaned. "It's been quite a while for us, hasn't it?"

I nodded at him slowly. "For _us_, yes…for _me_…not for _you_."

"You're going to upset me again." Dean stated, and I knew that, but I couldn't stop the words from coming out of my mouth.

"Well that's why they call it angry sex." I replied with a shrug.

Dean started to protest but I pressed lips to his, squeezing him with my legs to urge him to just shut-up. He heeded, kissing me lovingly suddenly, which made me pause, and it made Dean pull away, looking me in the eye with dozens of questions—one of which was most definitely 'Why did we stop'. I leaned my head back against the shower wall to get a better look at him and cocked my head to one side, smiling a little when he cupped my face with his hand, his thumb running gently along my wet cheek.

"You're suddenly all sweet." I told him, biting my lip.

He nodded slowly. "Honestly, as annoyed as I am that you lied, Sam and I have past too we haven't spilled to you since its not putting you in any danger, and you don't know everything about your biological mother—you told us that and I believe you…besides…its been a long time since you and I did this and it shouldn't be angry sex."

"I love you." I told him, kissing him softly and helping us to reach the next incredibly satisfying level.

xxxx

The next case we had was amazingly bad—everything that could go wrong did go wrong and we really needed to figure a way out. Sam and I had been sitting in the motel, thinking about where Dean had gone to when we had been arrested and dragged in for questioning. Now we were sitting in the police station, waiting for another cop to come in and question us and I was resting my head on Sam's shoulder, his fingers running through my hair to comfort me. We had been separated from Dean, who had been gone far too long looking into the deaths of some people—a vengeful spirit had killed them, we were positive about that…but you can't really tell cops that, now can you? Yeah, not really something to run around trying to tell the world, unfortunately.

"This is ridiculous." I told Sam and he nodded, looking at me as I crossed my arms over my chest.

He put his fingers under my chin and made me look at him. "Are you okay? You just seem more agitated than normal."

"I think I'll be fine." I admitted, even though I _was_ jittery and my leg was bouncing.

"You sure?" He asked, stroking my hair some more.

I nodded at him and smiled when we made eye contact. "Yeah, I just think that us not being out there, and the spirit still being there, is wrong. I hate when we get detoured like this, and then there's Dean—Dean's innocent."

Sam kissed my forehead and I smiled a little more, looking over at the door as the woman walked back in. She had this look on her face like she knew something, and I really hated that that look was followed by glances in between me and Sam—obviously she thought the two of us were an item. Whatever…it wasn't like Sam and I hadn't been mistaken for a couple before—we could pull that off acting if we had to.

"Well that answers one question." She said aloud—score to me for reading people well.

I laughed a little. "Oh yeah? What question is that?"

"Thought you might be thirsty." She said, setting down two cups of coffee and some files, ignoring me and playing her cards the way she thought she needed to.

"Ah, you're the good cop. So where's the bad cop?" Sam asked her.

She looked at Sam. "Oh, he's with your brother."

She looked pretty smug, and Sam and I were pretty unsure about that look and knew one of us had to speak up. Since I was the quickest on the draw when it came to speaking when I shouldn't, I smiled at her and opened my mouth.

"And you're holding us why?" I asked her.

She motioned towards the door. "Well he's being held on suspicion of murder. You two? We'll see."

"Murder?" Sam and I asked at once.

"You sound genuinely surprised." She told us. "Or are you just that good of actors?"

Her fake smile was getting to me and I gave her an annoyed look as Sam spoke up. I liked that he had stepped in this time because I would have tried to wipe the look off of her face, but at the same time I was worried. I mean I knew that there was a chance that we'd get caught, but definitely not for murder…something else was going on here, and Sam and I were _not_ in the loop.

"Who is he supposed to have murdered?" Sam asked her.

She nodded at him. "We'll get around to that."

"Well you can't just hold us here without formal charges." Sam told her and I crossed my arms over my chest and sighed loudly, wanting out.

"Well actually we can for 48 hours, but you being a Pre-Law student would know that." She replied.

I looked up at her. "What the Hell?"

"I know all about you, Sam…you're 23 years old. No job. No address. Your mother died when you were a baby. Your father's whereabouts are unknown…and then there's the case of your brother, Dean, whose demise was, well, exaggerated. Feel free to jump in at any time." She said, but Sam and I just looked at her and shrugged a little. "Shy? Fine, I'll keep going. Your family moved around a lot when you were a kid. Despite that, you were a straight-a student—got into Stanford with a full ride." She said, and then it got quiet and she turned to us as Sam sat with his arms across his chest and I rested my hand on his shoulder, stroking his shoulder softly. "Then about a year ago, there was a fire in your apartment. One fatality, Jessica Moore, your girlfriend. After she died, you fell off the grid—left behind everything."

"I needed some time off…to deal." Sam replied softly.

She nodded and looked at me. "And then there's you, Lana."

"And what could you possibly know about me?" I asked her, knowing full well that she didn't have the information she _truly_ needed on me.

"You're 22 years old. No job, but here you have an address in Kansas. You were good in school, but never went into college. You were never in trouble with the law until these two came into the picture. Occasionally you use your credit card, so we have blips of you on the radar, but most times—most times we have no idea where you are or what you're doing. The only time you even had to _speak _to the authorities was when your adopted parents were killed in a fire while you were at school—there's no record of your birth father, but your birth mother is listed on your birth certificate." She explained and then motioned to Sam. "By the looks of it, and by the ring we confiscated upon your arrest, it looks to me like you have yourself a boyfriend and a very dysfunctional group to travel with…am I right with any of this? Feel free to chime in at any time and prove me wrong—I mean I could have my facts off."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "If you absolutely _must_ know, the ring was from Dean."

"Well, well, well. You just got close to both of them didn't you?" She asked me, hoping to get more out of me.

"The things we do for love." I shrugged as I rolled my eyes, the sarcasm dripping off of my voice.

"So after this fire with Jessica, you just decided to take some time off?" She asked, turning the attention back to Sam.

Sam nodded at her. "Yeah, so I'm taking a road trip with my brother, and then we met up with Lana along the way and she joined us."

"And how's that going for you?" She asked him.

"Great." Sam said, nodding. "I mean…we saw the second largest ball of twine. Awesome."

She sighed and walked over to the table after Sam and I sat down, really wanting us to stop beating around the bush. For some reason she actually thought we were going to hand Dean over to her, but Dean wasn't killing people—an angry spirit was, and we couldn't prove it from in here. So really, all Sam and I could do was play along, but we didn't have to make it easy on the cops at all…why would we do _that_?

"We ran Dean's fingerprints through Iafis—got over a dozen possible hits." She replied, leaning towards us.

Sam scoffed at her. "'Possible' hits, which makes them worthless."

"But makes you wonder…what are we gonna find when we run your prints, Sam?" She asked him softly.

"Well, uh," Sam said, smiling and then pounding his fist into the table playfully, "be sure to let me know, all right? May I?"

She nodded at him when he motioned to the coffee and I had to admit that the smell of it was getting to me. Upon taste I realized that it was actually pretty bad, but it was coffee, and coffee always seemed to actually calm me down. Besides, if Sam and I were going to get through this, then there was no way in the world that we were going to do it without caffeine.

"Sam, you seem like a good kid, and you're going to make Lana a lot happier than Dean ever would—it's not your fault Dean's your brother." She explained to him.

I shot her a look. "Way to pick sides."

"We can't pick our family." She continued. "Right now detectives in St. Louis are exhuming a corpse, trying to figure out how your brother faked his own death after torturing all those young women. Dean's a bad guy…his life is over…yours doesn't have to be."

"You want me to turn against my own brother?" Sam asked her skeptically.

She shook her head. "No—we caught him cold, red-handed at the Karen Giles murder scene. We just need you two to fill in some missing pieces."

"Why would we do that?" I asked, Sam's eyes asking the same question.

"Because I can talk to the D.A., make a deal for you two. You can get on with your lives…Dean's as good as gone." She said, and silence followed until Sam decided to speak up.

"My Dad and Tony Giles were good friends." Sam began and I sighed and drank more coffee. "They were in the service together—we've known him since we were kids, you know? So we came as soon as we heard about his death."

xxxx

"_There you go." Sam said, handing Dean some coffee as he sat down with us._

_I smiled and looked at Sam. "Anthony Giles."_

"_Who's Anthony Giles?" Sam asked and I shrugged because I was simply trying to be a know-it-all—it had been __**Dean**__ who had said the name._

"_The Baltimore lawyer—working late in his office. Check it out." Dean said, taking the lid off the coffee and drinking it as I sipped my latte._

"_His throat was slit, but the room was clean." Sam read. "Huh. No DNA, no prints."_

_Dean smiled at him. "Keep reading it gets better."_

"_Security cameras failed to capture footage of the assailant." Sam continued._

"_Either somebody tampered with the tapes…" Dean began._

"_Or we have a silent killer." Sam said as I nodded._

_Dean clicked his tongue in response. "My favorite kind. So what do you think, Scully? Check it out?"_

"_I'm not Scully—you're Scully." Sam said, tossing the paper at him._

"_No, I'm Mulder. You're a redheaded woman." Dean replied with a grin._

_As sexy as I thought it was that Dean was all into X-Files and he was picking on his adorable brother, I made a face when he looked at me. It was only a matter of time before he gave me a name, or he would simply leave me out of it as he did 50% of the time. I actually __**liked**_ _X-Files, so I wanted to be part of it._

"_Who am I?" I asked him. "Some alien?"_

_Dean shook his head. "Nah, you're Dogget."_

"_Great…I'm a man." I said, and then Sam and I smiled at each other before I frowned as Dean walked away. "Snap! And the fans hated me at first!"_

xxxx

Sam scoffed at the cop. "So, it would have been kind of hard for Dean to kill Tony, considering we weren't even in town at the time."

"Okay. Tell me what happened next." She told him.

"Okay, that's when we went to see Karen." I explained to her, wanting his over with and Dean freed so we could take care of the spirit and move on.

Sam nodded his head in agreement. "She was barely holding it together. We wanted to be there for you, you know?"

xxxx

"_Insurance…I totally forgot about the insurance." Karen explained to us sadly._

"_We're very sorry to bother you right now, but the company has to do its own investigation. You understand?" Sam asked soothingly._

_Karen nodded at us. "Yeah…yeah."_

"_If you could just tell us anything you remember about the night your husband died." I told her with a soft smile, because I genuinely felt bad about her situation, but we had to do what we had to do here to save lives._

"_Tony and I were supposed to have dinner. He called to tell me that he was having computer troubles and he had to work late." She said sadly. "That was it."_

_Sam, Dean and I nodded at her, taking the information in and yet knowing it was time to pry a little more. We needed to know what kind of weird things had happened—if weird things __**had**__ happened—we still had to figure that in. Really, I was kind of just wanting to finish this up, be with Dean since the two of us were fighting less lately, and check in on Jen…that meant finishing up this conversation so we could finish the hunt._

"_Do you have any idea what could have done this to him?" Sam asked her softly, still trying to show concern for her even though he was trying to sound professional too._

_Karen shook her head. "No. No. It's like I told the police. I—I have no idea."_

"_Did Tony mention anything unusual to you?" Dean asked. "The days before his death?"_

"_Unusual?" She repeated._

_Dean nodded at her. "Yeah, like strange?"_

"_Strange?" She repeated._

"_You know, Karen, weird. Weird noises, visions, anything like that?" Dean asked again, trying to keep his cool._

_Sam cleared his throat, and the next couple seconds were filled with looks to get Dean to calm down, and then looks of compassion towards Karen when she looked at us. Dean was jumping the gun a little and it was going to freak Karen out and we all knew it. Still, I couldn't deny that I wanted this over too, and so I just smiled at her and nudged Sam, who nodded at me._

"_He had a nightmare before he died." Karen informed us._

_Sam cautiously asked, "Uh, what kind of a nightmare?"_

"_He said he woke up in the middle of the night one night and there was a woman standing at the foot of the bed. Then he blinked and she was gone." Karen explained, weirded out by the question, and I couldn't blame her._

"_Did he say what she looked like?" Dean asked._

"_What the Hell difference does it make what she looked like?" Karen asked distraught._

_Sam and I exchanged looks with Dean as he fumbled for the right thing to say—this was delicate territory. The wrong thing could have us sent out her door without so much as another word, and we really couldn't do that. At the same time, there was no way to avoid this question, so we really just had to get it over with and who better to be blunt than Dean Winchester himself?_

_Dean smiled at her awkwardly. "Its, uh, just that our company is very thorough."_

"_He said she was pale and had dark red eyes." Karen replied, a little nastily._

xxxx

"So I gave Karen a hug, and told her to call us if she needed anything." Sam explained to the woman interrogating us. "And that was it. End of story."

"Sam, I am trying to help you here, but you have got to be honest with me—both of you." The woman told us. "Now we have an eyewitness, someone who saw two men and woman, fitting you, your brother's and her description, breaking into Giles' office." She said, standing up and getting testy.

I shook my head at her. "Karen called us later. Said there was some stuff she wanted out of Tony's office but the police weren't letting her in, so we went and got it for her."

"Like a picture of the two of them in Paris and some other stuff." Sam told her, nodding.

I nodded and looked the woman in the eye. "Look, it was wrong to enter a crime scene, we get that."

"But she gave us a key." Sam finished for me, which wasn't actually the truth at all…then again, neither was most of our story we were feeding her, but at least it was the same.

xxxx

_Sam, Dean and I went into the office and looked around with our flashlights in the dark room. I really hated it when we had to check out the dark, scary places, but that was just part of the job, so I accepted it. Besides, the three of us were together, which meant that we were going to be protected, and that was the important part._

"_Hey." Sam said, shining his flashlight on a bloody part of the floor. "Anthony Giles' body was found right about here. 'Throat slit so deep, part of his spinal cord was visible.'"_

_I smiled at his ready-to-use knowledge, but cringed. "Gross."_

_Dean whistled at the bloody floor. "What do you think? Vengeful spirit? Underline vengeful."_

"_Yeah, maybe, I mean he __**did**__ see that woman at the foot of his bed." Sam reminded us._

_I went over to the desk and picked up a piece of paper, handing it to Dean and smiling because I knew I was being damn helpful. Actually, ever since I had kind of convinced myself that there was nothing that could really harm me, I'd been focusing on hunts a lot more and I knew that as thankful as they were, they missed the old me. In all honesty…I missed the old me too, but I didn't really know how to get her back._

"_Hey. Look at this." Dean said, handing it to Sam._

_Sam looked it over. "Dana Shulps. What is that, a name?"_

"_I dunno, but it's everywhere." Dean said, looking at several papers where it was written over and over. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."_

"_Shut-up." I told him playfully when he chuckled, smacking his arm._

_He smiled at me after faking a hurt look, and then I looked at the glass desk as Sam saw what I saw. He leaned his face towards it and breathed his hot breath on it, the word "Dana Shulps" appearing again. That was definitely not something we'd seen before on a case like this, so we were on the right track, surprisingly._

"_Wow. I'd say we've officially crossed over into weird." Sam said, looking up at Dean and me._

_I nodded at him. "I'll say. I can't get a clear vibe in here either."_

"_Maybe Giles knew her." Dean offered with a shrug._

"_Maybe it's the name of our pale, red-eyed mystery girl." Sam suggested, nodding at his brother._

"_Well, let's see what we can see." Dean said, and we all set to looking through papers._

_After a long while Dean and I got fed up and Dean waved his arms angry, motioning throwing something down. I giggled at him and then shrugged when he shot me a look for laughing at his obvious failure, and then he looked at Sam. He softened a little when I took his hand in mine, but still had to be his hot little drama queen self._

"_There's not a mention of a Dana Shulps anywhere in here." He said exasperatedly. "Or any other kind of frigging Shulps." He added, leaning on the doorframe._

_Sam sighed loudly. "Great."_

"_I take it you have nothing?" I asked Sam._

"_That would be correct. No Dana Schulps has either lived or died in Baltimore in the last 50 years at least." Sam replied as Dean and I got more frustrated._

_I ran my hands down my face. "We've hit dead ends before, but not like this."_

"_So what now?" Dean asked, reaching out and pulling my body to his as we watched Sam type away at the computer._

"_Well, I think I'm pretty close to cracking Giles' password. Maybe there's something in his personal files." Sam replied with a shrug._

_Dean nodded slowly. "And by 'close' you mean…"_

"_30 minutes maybe?" Sam offered to us._

_I sighed loudly and then looked at Dean, who looked at his watch and sighed loudly too. We were __**both**__ rather stumped and bored, and though there were plenty of things we could think of to pass the time together, we had work to do…and Sam could __**not**__ be left alone to work without us._

"_Awesome. I guess that means just get to, uh, hang out. That's awesome." Dean said, and he and I headed other to sit across the desk from Sam, me sitting on Dean lap and making a face when he started making clicking and popping noises and then a farting noise with his mouth._

_Sam threw his hands up in the air. "Dude, seriously!"_

"_All right, I'm gonna go talk to Karen again—see if she knows anything about this Dana Shulps, okay?" Dean asked, getting up with his flashlight when I got off of his lap and going past me._

"_Great." Sam said, and went back to typing._

_I looked at Dean after taking the chair he had sat in. "I'll stay here, thanks—rather not go talk to Karen anymore, sorry."_

"_That's fine, Baby." Dean replied and then looked at Sam before heading out the door. "Keep going, Sparky."_

xxxx

"Then Dean went back to Karen's place, to check up on her. I mean, you know, she'd been pretty upset earlier." Sam explained to the cop.

"So why didn't you go with him?" The woman asked.

Sam shrugged at her. "I just went back to the motel with Lana."

"I was feeling tired and a bit put out, and wanted the company." I told her.

"A little R&R?" She asked, but she was implying sex and I was annoyed.

I uncrossed my arms and leaned over the table a little. "For the umpteenth time, Sam and I are _not_ together. Stop."

"How did you know we were there, by the way?" Sam asked her, changing the subject before I slapped a bitch.

"We found the motel matchbook on your brother when we arrested him." She said in a voice much more annoyed than mine. "Now let's quit fooling around. You three were together the whole time you were in Baltimore. Why separate now? Because your brother went to go murder Karen."

"He didn't kill anyone." Sam said calmly.

She hit the table with her fist hard. "I heard the 911 call! Karen was terrified! She said someone was in the house!"

When Sam and I just shook our heads and looked at her, she ended up leaving—she knew we weren't going to tell her anything she could use to frame Dean for killing Karen and Tony when he didn't. So Sam and I took the time to try and figure out the 'Dana Shulps' thing before he turned to me.

"They always seem to think we're a couple." Sam told me with a laugh.

I smiled at him. "They certainly do—and lately they jump to us getting down and dirty."

"You know…it kind of annoys Dean." Sam explained slowly, shrugging a little.

"Well, maybe if he didn't turn his flirt on most of the time, then he wouldn't have to worry about people thinking I wasn't his girl. Besides, they like to walk in on you and me in slightly compromising positions—at least of course at first glance." I added, laughing a little. "But back to this 'Dana Shulps' thing. It might be an anagram." I said as Sam said, "anagram" with me.

Before we could deal with it, our lawyer came in and handed us a paper that Sam opened up and showed to me. Dana Schulps had to do with Ashland—a street in Baltimore that we needed to check out, went meant escaping, and acting with this whole Hilts and McQueen thing—Hilts was McQueen's character in "The Great Escape". That way Dean would know what was up and where we were, and Sam and I could be out there to dust this ghost and deal with busting Dean as soon as the job was finished.

"I hope that was helpful." The lawyer told us. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to discuss your case now."

"Sure thing, Matlock." Sam said, motioning him a chair.

"You two really are brothers, aren't you?" He asked Sam with a laugh and I beamed at Sam and his playful attitude. "Now, as you know, the D.A. might be interested in—"

"—we need you in there—with the other one." The female cop told us.

I looked at Sam when the lawyer left Sam and I alone and smiled at him. "Now's our chance…let's go."

xxxx

Once Sam and I got to the first motel listed in the yellow pages, and put the name under Jim Rockford—it's how Dean and Sam found each other when they were separated—Sam and I were immediately trying hard to figure it all out. He was rushing through some things and I suddenly felt like I needed to talk to Sam—I needed to let him know just how appreciative of him that I was because every time something big happened, Sam was always there for me. I mean even when the cops had busted in to get us earlier, Sam had made sure no one hurt me before he gave himself over to their custody.

"I want to thank you." I told him from across the room.

Sam looked up. "For what?"

"For always being here for me…for looking out for me…for loving me." I told him with a slight blush, and I didn't know where it was coming from.

Sam smiled and stood up. "Lan, you don't have to thank me for any of that—I'm going o be here to protect you and love you forever."

I blushed a little more. "I just…you don't have to, but you do. Even when I come clean about one more thing I've kept from you guys, you always forgive me first, no matter how mad you are about it. How do you do that? How do you stick by me without thinking that I'm losing it?"

"Lan, I love you." Sam said with a shrug, and as he said that he placed his fingers under my chin, lifting my face up so our eyes met, and then he smiled. "I'm going to protect you no matter what happens, Lan. You're smart, you're beautiful, and Dean has no idea what it is that he's missing when he steps out of line but he loves you too, and you're part of our family—Dean and I are going to keep you safe."

I knew that he had only added Dean back to the conversation because the eye contact was starting to get to him like it was getting to me, and I made a decision. Before I really had the time to think over what I was doing, I kissed him softly. For a second Sam resisted since he had just been talking about how Dean loved me, but soon his lips were moving against mine, and just as he slipped his arms around my waist to pull me closer, something clicked in our brains and we pulled apart.

My hand flew up to my mouth and Sam shook his head and took a step back, both of us trying to figure up what to say when there was a know on the door. Sam moved to answer it and I just nodded because I wanted to have time to think this over so I knew how in the world to deal with what _I_ had just done—_me_. I looked up to see the female cop standing there and Sam and I exchanged glances as she looked at us, and then showed us her wrists—sporting the same bruises that Tony and Karen had on their wrists.

"They showed up after you saw it?" I asked her, looking at her wrists after Sam did.

She nodded at us. "I—I dunno, I guess."

"All right." Sam told her, looking directly at her. "You're gonna have to tell me exactly what you saw."

"You know, I must be losing my mind. You're fugitives. I should be arresting you." She told us and Sam and I sighed.

I took a couple steps towards her. "You know what, you can arrest us later…after you live through this."

Sam nodded in agreement. "Right now, you gotta talk to me, okay? Okay. Okay, great. Now the spirit, what did it look like?"

"She was uh, she was really, really pale, and her throat was cut…and she had these really deep, dark red eyes. It appeared like she was trying to talk to me, but she couldn't. There was a lot—a lot of blood." She told us, sitting down.

"You know what? Here." Sam said as I handed him the pictures we had gotten before we talked. "We've been researching every girl who has either died or gone missing from Ashland Street."

She looked at them and then looked at us. "How did you get those? Those are from crime scenes and booking photos."

"You've got your job, and we've got ours." Sam said, organizing the pile. "Here, we need you to look through these. Tell us if you recognize anyone."

She took them and I bit my lips because I wanted to focus on this hunt, but at the same time I kept thinking about Sam's soft lips. Dean gets arrested and held for suspected murder, and has to deal with the shapeshifter stuff coming back to haunt him again and I kiss his brother? What the fuck was wrong with me? I was supposed to be holding out for Dean—he and I were pretty damned patched up and now this? Son of a bitch…

"This one." She told us, holding up the photo.

"Claire Becker? 28 years old." Sam explained to her. "Disappeared about eight or nine months ago."

She nodded at him. "But I don't even know her. Why would she be coming after me?"

"Well, before her death she was arrested twice for dealing heroine." I told her, looking over the information about her. "You ever work narcotics?"

She nodded at me. "Yeah, Pete and I did, before homicide."

"You ever bust her?" Sam asked, holding up her picture again.

"Not that I remember." She replied truthfully.

"Says she was last seen entering 2911 Ashland Street. Police searched the place, didn't find anything." Sam read off.

I sighed and nodded. "So we need to check it out ourselves and see if we can find the body."

"What?" She asked, somewhat appalled.

"Well we gotta salt and burn her bones. It's the only way to put the spirit to rest." Sam replied, grabbing his coat as I grabbed mine.

"Of course it is." She said, and the three of us headed over to Ashland Street.

Sam and I started looking around going up the stairs in the warehouse, and her staying below looking around. In the pit of my stomach I knew that Sam and I shouldn't be left alone because what I had done before, and when I opened my mouth to say something, Sam shook his head. You know me though—there was no way I was just going to be silenced when the kiss was the only thing on my mind.

"Look, I know that we should be focusing but I kissed you…what are we going to do about it?" I asked him.

Sam turned to me. "We're not going to do _anything_ about it."

"What are you talking about? We can't just pretend it never happened." I protested.

"Why not? Did it…did it _mean_ something to you?" Sam asked me slowly, and then he shrugged. "I don't want to hurt Dean, so we just ignore it…we don't tell him."

I just nodded slowly and he nodded too, both of us trying to smile but not being able to—especially when the woman started calling our names, and so we went to her aide. She looked really shaken up and we needed to know what happened, and we had to make sure that she was all right.

"You all right?" I asked her.

She nodded at me. "Claire…she was here."

"Did she attack you?" Sam asked her suddenly.

"No…she was reaching out to me." She replied. "She was over there, by the window."

As she and Sam went over to the window I stopped for a moment and used my flashlight to look around. The fact that Claire's ghost hadn't attacked the woman made me think a little harder about what was going on here…what if…

"Maybe she's not vengeful at all." I said aloud to Sam.

Sam helped the cop move the thing in front of the window, and then we found the letters—and learned why there were extra ones. We were in the Ashland Supplies Warehouse, and as the shadows of the letters hit the back wall—Dana Shulps—we went over and began to break into it, after using the EMF detector, and then Sam seeing something down in there. When we pulled the body out of the wall, we knew it was Claire, and we had to look her over.

"She led us to her body because she's not a vengeful spirit." I explained and nodded as the woman put her wrists up against Claire's. "Her wrists—they'd be bruised like yours."

Sam looked at the necklace on the corpse. "That necklace mean something to you?"

"I've seen it before—it's rare. It was custom made over on Carson Street." She fished something out of her shirt. "I have one just like it—Pete gave it to me."

I nodded at the trinket. "It all makes sense now."

"What does?" She asked me.

"Yeah…you see Claire isn't a vengeful spirit at all. She's a death omen." Sam explained as I nodded.

The woman looked miffed. "Excuse me?"

"Claire isn't killing anyone—she's trying to warn them." Sam added with a nod. "You see sometimes spirits don't want vengeance, they want justice. That's why she led us here—she wants us to know who the killer is."

There was a long pause as Sam and I looked at each other before we looked at the woman as she tried to piece it together. It wasn't long before I couldn't stop the words coming out of my mouth since Sam was still waiting a little to pry.

"How much do you know about your partner, Detective?" I asked her.

She looked like she had just figured something out. "Oh my God…"

"What?" Sam asked, wanting to get the information out of her now.

"A year ago, some heroine went missing from lock-up—obviously a cop. We never found out who did it, but whoever did it would need someone to fence their product." She explained as Sam and I got knowing looks on our faces.

Sam nodded at her. "Somebody, like a drug dealer…somebody like Claire."

Knowing that, we hurried and got into her car, and she called the office. We needed to figure out where Pete was, and we needed to finish this before someone else died—before the cop met her demise. Also, I wanted to know what was up with Dean, and I didn't like the look spreading across her face.

"All right, thanks." She said, hanging up.

Sam glanced at her. "What is it?"

"Pete just left the precinct…with Dean." She replied.

"What?" Sam and I asked angrily.

She nodded at him. "He said the prisoner had to be transferred, and he just took him. Dispatch has been calling, but he won't answer the radio."

"Radio? So he took a county vehicle?" Sam asked and I smiled.

"Yeah." She told him with a nod.

I smiled at Sam and he smiled back. "Then it should have a LoJack."

"You just gotta get it turned on." Sam added, reaching out and touching my hair.

It wasn't normally weird when Sam did that, or when he held me when I was down, or when he comforted me, but it was awkward now. I just smiled at him though, and we turned on the LoJack, getting to the place where Pete had taken Dean. I hurried out, getting to them before Sam and the Detective did, and she pointed her gun at them as we all kept our distance.

"Pete! Put the gun down!" She shouted to him.

"Diana? How'd you find me?" Pete asked her, and Dean looked up relieved, and yet confused.

Diana swallowed. "I know about Claire."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Pete replied to her.

"Put the gun down!" She said more forcefully.

"No, I don't think so." He told her. "You're fast. But I'm pretty sure I'm faster."

I really didn't like that a slightly mentally insane man was pointing a gun at Dean _and_ upset, and I really hoped he would stop. I wanted Diana to get through to him, but at the same time, I thought that maybe I could help…if I tapped into my powers. Would that be in Dean's best interest? Would I be fast enough to get that gun out of Pete's hands?

"Why are you doing this?" Diana asked Pete.

He smiled and rolled his eyes a little. "I didn't do anything, Diana."

"It's a little late for that." She told him.

"It wasn't my fault." He explained to her. "Claire was going to turn me in, I had no choice."

She nodded at him. "And Tony? Karen?"

"Same thing. Tony scrubbed the money, then the got skittish. And then he wanted to come clean. I was sure he told Karen everything. It was a mess I had to clean it up." He admitted to her. "I panicked."

Dean looked at Sam and I who wanted to do something, but Dean shook his head—one wrong move and Pete could pull the trigger and we wouldn't have anymore Dean. I couldn't live without Dean, so I just nodded but started to say a spell under my breath so the gun wouldn't fire. If the gun didn't fire, then Dean was safe, and that was the most important thing to me right then.

"How many more people are going to die over this, Pete?" Diana asked him.

"There's a way out." He said, and looked at Dean. "This Dean kid is a friggin' gift. We can pin the whole thing on him. No trial. No nothing. Just one more, dead scumbag."

"Hey." Dean told him, but put his cuffed hands up a little as Pete waved the gun more in his face.

"No one will question it. Please? I still love you." He said, and she began to lower her gun. "Thank you. Thank you."

He was about to shoot Dean when Diana quickly shot him in the leg and Dean rolled out of the way and she went over to Pete. I hurried over to Dean and held my hand up to disorient Pete a little, looking Dean in the eye to see how he was—scared, but all right.

"Then why don't you buy me another necklace, you Ass?" She asked, and he lunged at her from the ground, knocking her down and scrambling for his gun.

He got up and began to limp, pointing his gun at Sam as he went to help me help Dean. Sam stopped and put his hands up in the air, Dean getting in front of me when Pete pointed the gun towards me and I smiled a little—Dean always protected me too…what had I just gotten myself into?

"Don't do it! Don't do it!" He told us all, waving the gun around.

I began to mutter another spell when I stopped, Claire showing herself to all of us, and then Diana shooting Pete in the heart. He fell to the ground, and then she uncuffed Dean and we stood there as it began to get light out, and then she came over to us. She looked really upset, but that was to be expected—her boyfriend turned out to be a really, _really_ big jerk.

"You doing all right?" Sam asked her.

"Not really." She replied honestly. "The Death Omen, Claire…what happens to her now?"

I looked at her. "It should be over…she should be at rest."

"So, uh, what now Officer?" Dean asked her.

"Pete _did_ confess to me. He screwed up your cases Royally. I figure there's a good chance I can get your cases dismissed." She said to us.

We all smiled at her and I really genuinely liked her—even though she had annoyed me before. She understood what it was that we did and she was willing to help us to get to continue to do what we did best…help the innocent.

"You could take care of that for us?" Sam asked her happily."

"I hope so. But the St. Louis murder charges?" She shook her head. "That's another story. I—I can't help you…unless I just happened to turn my back and you three walked away. I could tell them that the suspects escaped."

I looked at her. "Wait, are you sure?"

"Yeah, she's sure, Sam." Dean told him, hopeful.

"No, it's just you could lose your job over something like that." Sam continued as Dean just smiled and shook his head, just caring about getting out of here.

"Look, I just want you guys out there doing what you guys do best. Trust me I'll sleep better at night." She replied with a smile. "Listen, you need to watch your back. They're going to be looking for the three of you right now. Get out of here. I gotta radio this in."

We began to walk when the one question I had been waiting for came up—Dean and his car…I loved him so much.

"Hey, uh, you wouldn't happen to know where my car is by any chance?" Dean asked her.

"It's at the Impound yard on Robertson. Why?" She asked and we gave her different looks. "Don't…even think about it."

Sam smiled at her. "It's okay. It's all right. Don't worry. We'll just uh, we'll improvise. We're pretty good at that."

"Yeah, I've noticed." She smiled and then she reached into her pocket and pulled out my promise ring. "I, uh…I thought you might like this back."

I smiled at her, and put the ring on my left ring finger. "Thank you."

She nodded and then we all waved at each other and the boys and I began to walk. We needed to get the Impala out of the impound and then get to the motel and get all of our stuff. After that we could move on, and I could figure out what in God's name I was doing…why in God's name I was feeling the way I was feeling.

"Nice lady." Sam said, trying to make small talk.

Dean shrugged at him. "Yeah, for a cop. She look familiar to you?"

"No, why?" Sam asked him with a smile on his face.

"I don't know…nothing. Hey, you guys hungry?" Dean asked us.

Sam laughed. "No, why?"

"For some reason I could really go for some pea soup." Dean replied with a shrug.

I smiled at my man's appetite and then stared at my ring, wondering why in the world I had kissed Sam when I was in love with Dean…and why in the world I had liked the feel of Sam's lips on mine…

**Note: I hope you guys enjoyed this one and the drama in it! Like, "how could Lana and Sam **_**do **_**that? Anyone else notice that the chick who was protective of the boys with the tat on her behind in Chuck's premiere eppy was the SAME actress who played Karen in this one? When I saw her again in Season Four I was all, "It's Karen!" She was fun in both rolls. Anyway, in THIS story, the next chapter is shorter, and it has lots of flirting and a special surprise in it! Hope you like it! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	26. An Unexpected Arrival

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter is kind of a filler, and yet it's very important.**

**A LOT happens in it, so pay attention.**

**=P**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

"I'm not sure what to do about this." I told Sam, running my fingers through my hair.

Sam and I had _both_ been feeling a little weird about what had been going on between us the last almost two weeks. All we wanted was for things to go back to normal, but keeping our kiss a secret was just too hard and yet we both still felt like it was best to keep it all to ourselves.

Sam nodded at me. "I know…it just feels weird to tell him."

"But it feels weird _not_ to tell him too." I replied, sighing loudly.

"This is just—completely weird." Sam agreed with me. "Do you _want_ to tell him?"

I shook my head and then nodded, and then shook it again. "You know what? What I want is to tell him that Jenny just called, and take him to Kansas to sort out her Hellhound problem."

"You tell him." Sam said, nodding quickly.

"What?" I asked, making a face. "_You_ tell him."

Sam gave me a look. "Look, he may still be shaken up about what happened, but you soften him up—that's just a fact. Plus, you tell him about the Hellhounds, and I'll tell him about us—our kiss—when the right time presents itself."

"Deal." I told him quickly, knowing that I would much rather Sam break that to him than me—Sam and Dean were in a much better place than me and Dean.

I took a deep breath and then I went into the room in the hotel and I smiled at Dean, who was lying on the bed playing with his necklace. He only did that when he was in a really bad mood, and normally I would go over to him and I would kiss him and hold him and tell him it was all going to be all right, but I was feeling too nervous. I'd start kissing him and telling him everything was going to be fun and the second I stumbled over a word he'd realize I was hiding something from him and I couldn't do that right now.

"Hey, Baby." I told him.

He looked up at me. "Hi."

I didn't like it when he was unemotional, but I didn't like it even more when his emotion was that of pain. So it was just best that I told him what I needed to tell him and then we got to Kansas and we did what we needed to do. Sam would tell Dean when Sam felt it was the right place to tell Dean, and I had to trust him…and I did…I trusted Sam with my life.

"We have to go to Kansas." I told Dean, holding up my phone and shaking it a little. "Jen and Kevin have themselves a case of Hellhounds."

"Seriously?" Dean asked, genuinely excited. "I've never dealt with those."

I nodded at him. "Me neither, but Kevin's been bitten and we need to go and help them."

"Yeah, let's go." Dean said, getting off of the bed and starting to pack.

Dean seemed a bit more excited that we had a case we were all really weirded out about and had no idea how to deal with them and that was good. So we all packed and headed to Kansas, Sam and I researching in the car on our laptops as normal. When we got there, Sam and I were _still_ trying to figure things out and it seemed to us like we were actually pretty close to an answer, which was weird for us—normally the answer came later, after some death.

"Silver—it's the only thing I can find that's mentioned in the majority of lores about them. Others talk about vampires killing them." I said with a sigh.

"Look, I'll go to the library around here, and then you two can check up on Kevin and then talk to Jen about what she has—that girl always has everything." Dean told us.

I nodded and kissed him when he dropped us off, feeling terrible that all that was I the kiss was love and respect. How could I have done this to him? I mean at first I had thought that hey it was a kiss and he had cheated on me with some waitress—_slept_ with her—but Sam was Dean's brother…I was _far _more in the wrong here than Dean had been and I had to accept that.

"Lan!" Jen cried, waddling into the living room after I let Sam and I in and called out that we were there.

"Hey there, kiddo." I told her stomach, resting my hand on it. "I mean kidd_os_."

Sam smiled at Jen too. "How is it?"

"How is what? Having to pee every ten minutes? Having ankles so large you can't define them from your feet? Having a stomach you can't look over? It's great, I have to tell you." Jen said sarcastically.

I nodded at her and hugged her. "Having the back pains, the morning sickness, and the food and sex cravings—it's a blast, Sammy."

Sam chuckled embarrassedly. "It was the wrong question to ask. How far along are you now?"

"25 weeks." Jen smiled and rested her hands on her protruding stomach.

"So do you know what they are yet?" I asked her, dying to find out. "I mean it's been a little over six months."

Jen smiled at me. "I don't want to know what they are."

"Does Kevin?" Sam asked her, obviously wanting to know too.

Jen shook her head. "The whole idea is the element of surprise."

I nodded at her and flashed a smile since I really couldn't come up with anything else to say to her. I hadn't really wanted to know what my baby was either, but now every time I thought about it, I wanted to know. Part of me was aware that if I had known whether I had lost a daughter or a son it would hurt even more, but part of me was curious…part of me had wanted to know.

"Let's not talk about this anymore. How about we go ahead and we talk about this whole Hellhound thing?" I told them.

Jen nodded at me. "Right, well, Kevin is fine, but he's really pissed that he has to limp now when two people have been mauled by these things."

"I came up with silver." I told her, putting my hands on my hips.

"I think our best option is to nail them through their body with a large silver rod, and then burn them." Jen agreed with me, smiling.

I smiled back. "All right, then it's time to trap the little buggers."

xxxx

"Illegal use of hands! Illegal use of hands!" I cried, giggling as Sam's hand went up my shirt and the other one tickled my sides. "Sammy! We're supposed to be setting up a trap! Stop! Stop!"

Sam shushed me by placing his hand over my mouth and I stopped squirming, smiling a little. We were supposed to be setting a trap for the Hellhounds, but I had made an extremely suggestive statement and now he felt the need to punish me. It was a little strange to think about how nice this was with Sam even though I was still dating Dean, and it didn't feel incredibly wrong…but it also didn't feel right.

"What about the trap?" I whispered as his hand left my mouth, biting my lip when his fingertips ran along my bare skin as he pulled his other hand away from me to stop touching me.

Sam blushed a little and smiled. "I set it up, Lan—you shouldn't have said what you said though."

"I'll be right down with the album!" Kevin called, and walked right into the room and Sam and I looked up awkwardly.

"Hello." I told him with an awkward smile, Sam getting off of me.

"What the Hell are you doing?" Kevin demanded in a hushed voice, shutting the bedroom door behind him.

I laughed awkwardly and straightened my shirt. "We were setting up the trap?"

"In Jen's and my room with the door open?" Kevin asked me.

I looked at him, my mouth agape. "She _told_ you?"

"Told him what?" Sam asked, genuinely confused.

"About liking you once." Kevin replied before I could. "And I don't want you two to hurt her, so stay away from each other, okay?"

The way he said it was so sad and caring, and I felt bad for him—he knew that while he was gone, Jen had crushed on somebody else, and still was kind of attracted to him, but devoted to Kevin no matter what. Before anyone could say anything else, there was a growl outside, and so Sam hurriedly started to pour salt around us in a circle, and Kevin hurried to Jen. He was going to protect his wife no matter what, and I was suddenly feeling even _worse_ about myself…I was in _way_ over my head.

"All right, so now I need to do a little spell, and then we can actually go fight them." I told Sam.

"Lan…you know how I feel about you doing spells." Sam said, resting his hand on my hip as I turned to him.

I smiled at him. "You don't have to worry about me, Sammy. Just…if I can mask us from them, then we have a better chance."

"But we don't _have_ to be invisible. We've all handled much worse." Sam replied and then took his hands away from me when he realized what he was doing and I smirked at him which made him point at me. "That won't make me do what you want."

"It won't?" I asked, and then sighed and stepped a little closer to him. "Really? My cuteness gets me nothing?"

Sam nodded at me. "Your cuteness gets me nothing."

I winked at him and then realized our bodies were touching and I was going to say another witty, flirty thing to him but we heard someone clear their throat. We stepped apart hurriedly and saw Jen, pain in her eyes, and I knew that it was _my _fault that she had to feel the pain.

"It's time we let them in." She said softly.

I knew that look—her eyes betrayed that she was hurt to see Sam and I like this, and I really didn't blame her. She still had feelings for him even though she wasn't going to pursue them. On top of that, she and Dean actually got along and I was ruining the love he and I had by flirting with his brother. To top all of that off? I hadn't _told_ Jen anything about it and that was my biggest downfall with Jen.

"I think you're right." Sam said, and it was apparent that he knew the look too.

Before we could say anything else, Jen left the room and a big snarling beast showed up at the window. I was a little startled, but I could hold my own and so I started to mutter a spell for a fireball, but I was stopped by a scream.

"Sam!" Dean called after the piercing scream sounded.

I hurried out of the room and saw Dean standing over Jen, who was passed out and bloody, gashes in her abdomen. I had no words, even though Sam and Kevin both started talking about how we had to get her to the hospital, and I just prayed that they were all right…I just prayed that my actions hadn't distracted Jen enough for this to happen…while she was _pregnant_.

xxxx

It had been a few hours since we had gotten Jen to the hospital, and Dean was holding my hand as Sam got me coffee and Kevin hadn't stopped pacing. We all wanted to see her—we all wanted to know that the emergency c-section had gone the way it was supposed to. I was freaking out and hadn't stopped the tears because I couldn't, and Kevin was crying to, but wouldn't let anyone near him because it was his _wife_ and his _children_ that were in trouble and he didn't want anyone to distract him from his prayers—he wanted them to be safe and so did I.

"Brings back memories…doesn't it?" Dean asked slowly.

I nodded as I wiped my eyes. "If she's having any of the same feelings I did, she's so scared. I wish I could be in there with her to hold her hand and let her know I was here. I just had to hurt her before this, didn't I?"

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked.

I just shook my head as Sam came back with my coffee and sat on the other side of me, kissing the top of my head. He really wanted things to go back to normal like I did, but his kiss on my head was _not_ the way to do that.

"Oh." Dean replied, and slowly took his hand away.

I tried to reach over to take it back. "Dean…"

"No…it's fine." Dean replied, putting on a brave face.

"I need something to eat." Sam said abruptly, getting up so he didn't have to deal with his brother right then.

As he left, Dean looked over at Kevin and refused to look at me, and so I set the coffee down and sighed, resting my hand on my stomach. My miscarriage still haunted me, and I did _not_ want the same for Kevin and Jen…that would just be too horrible to bear. It wouldn't be right—Jen deserved so much more than that.

Dean sighed and put his hand on mine, and I looked up at him, smiling sadly and then nodding at him. I knew he was hurting because he knew that _something _had happened between Sam and me, even though we hadn't said anything, but his eyes still made contact with mine. He still loved me, and if I just explained things to him, maybe he'd understand—I definitely understood what I was doing now.

"I still think about what it might have been like." Dean told me, obviously not wanting to talk about Sam.

I felt more tears come and I nodded, trying not to think about it. "You know, when I was shot, and I went through that trial…it really did give me hope that someday you and I would have a family, and then I found out that was what you wanted, and now I can't give you that."

Dean nodded and put his forehead against mine, wiping the tears away with his thumbs before he kissed me. The kiss was so sweet and it was so tender, and I knew that there was no way that I could keep going on like this. Dean _needed_ to know, and _I_ needed to be the one to explain myself to him. It didn't really feel like the time or the place, but the conversation was presenting itself and I really couldn't afford to pass it up.

"Lanni, you've already given me that—_you _are my family." Dean explained to me.

I nodded at him. "Yeah, but, uh…Dean, I kissed Sam. He and I have been flirting a bit and it's really not his fault—I've been feeling a little _too _sorry for myself and it has to stop. I was _really _hurt about the waitress, but mostly I've been hurting because I want to give you what you want, and Sam was an outlet—he doesn't want kids with me like you do…but that's not an excuse."

"Lanni…" Dean began, but trailed off when I shook my head.

I swallowed. "Dean, I love you—I _really _do—I just think that you deserve better than me and I—"

"Jennifer is going to be just fine." The doctor said suddenly.

Dean kissed me softly and then we pulled away and I wiped off my face as Kevin asked what we all wanted to know.

"And how are the twins?" He asked the doctor hurriedly.

The doctor nodded as well all went up to him, Sam included as he had just come back, and we waited anxiously for her reply. She didn't look like she was going to deliver us any bad news, but at the same time we were all just anxious and wanted her to spit it out already and tell us what we wanted to know.

"You have two healthy girls." The doctor replied.

We were all so happy and relieved that we started to cry, Kevin and I most, actually hugging each other. The doctor let us in to see her, and she gave us a weak smile, glad that we were there with her. All hurt of what had happened before was gone, and I knew it was because she had just become a mother.

"We have daughters." Jen told Kevin as he hurried over to her side. "They're small, but they're all right."

"How are _you_?" Kevin asked her, kissing her head.

Jen shrugged weakly. "I'm pretty okay. My stomach hurts like nothing else, but I'm really fine."

I went over to her other side and I held her other hand. "Hey there, you're a mommy!"

"I am." She told me happily.

"To two little girls." I whispered, kissing her cheek. "Do we get to see them?"

Jen nodded at me and I knew she wanted to see them too. Since it was a premature birth, they were getting checked out, but we all wanted to see the beautiful little girls that Kevin and Jen were going to parent. They were getting everything they had ever wanted, and I was _so_ happy for them…even if part of me was sad I'd never have this happiness.

"As soon as they're out of the ER you'll all get to see them." Jen told me, smiling when I kissed her hand and looking up at Dean. "Do you have anything to say?"

Dean shrugged a little. "I'm just glad you're all right, Jen."

"Thank you." She replied and then smiled at Sam. "Thank you guys all for being here for me."

Sam nodded and looked rather uncomfortable and I blushed, but Kevin just stroked Jen's hair. We knew he worried, but he was very, very affectionate and loving, and I knew that Jen hoped as I did, that maybe now that the babies were born, he'd be a little more likely to calm down. Then again now that he had actually beings to be worried about, it was possible that he would get even _more_ protective.

"So how are their…powers?" Sam asked slowly in a low voice.

Jen smiled at him. "They're going to powerful like Lan and me. One of the only reasons they're so healthy is because they're powerful—like you out of the womb."

"Which means they won't be as powerful as you." I smiled at her.

Jen smiled too and then swallowed. "So…what about the Hellhounds?"

"The three of us are going to take care of them." I assured her.

xxxx

"That stupid mutt bit me!" Dean said as I wrapped his arm up.

I nodded at him. "At least we have him cornered by salt for now. Where did Sam go?"

"He's calling Kevin to make sure that Jen is sure this silver and burning thing will work." Dean explained.

I nodded, and then the two of us stepped out of the ring of salt and instantly heard growling. It was kind of a stupid thing to step out of the ring of salt when it was the only thing protecting us right then, but it felt like our only option. We had to lure the beast to us, and this was the only way that I could think of to do it.

"Get on in the ring, Lanni." Dean commanded, and I honestly thought it was kind of hot.

I shook my head though. "Like Hell I'm getting in the ring of salt while you go out there to get hurt again—fat chance."

"Lanni…I've been thinking about what Jen said, and I want you to keep yourself safe." He told me, stroking my hair.

"As much as I love that you care, you know me and I'm stubborn, and I'm going to help you." I told him, smiling at him cheekily.

As I said that, the Hellhound came at us and I shot a fireball at him, Dean glancing at me and though a little scared and miffed, he nodded because it was part of who I was. Since everything happened with Jen, I had decided to focus on tapping into the inner witch because I never wanted to be caught off guard and weak again. Now I could shoot fireballs almost just at will, but I still had to spend time focusing and that was what I needed to work on—I had to get faster at this.

The fire wasn't helping much though, so I stopped as Dean tried to shoot it full of silver, keeping close to him to keep him alive if he needed it. We had already stabbed and killed the first one, and this was the last one to deal with. I had talked it all over with Jen, and these Hellhounds were runaways—they were killing to kill, and nothing more…the only reason they stayed away from salt was because part of them was held in the spectral world.

"Where's the rod?" I asked, frantically, pulling Dean back into the salt circle.

"It's across the room." Dean told me, pointing at it.

I let out an annoyed noise. "Fuck!"

"It probably wasn't such a good idea to leave the rod over there." Dean told me, flashing _me_ a cheeky smile this time.

"Well maybe if you hadn't started yelling at me to get into the circle, I would have remembered it." I told him, with a shrug.

"I had to save your ass because you weren't fast enough." Dean replied.

I scoffed at him. "Yeah, and you got yourself hurt."

Dean glared as the Hellhound growled at us and I folded my arms across my chest because I wasn't backing down on that. The two of us were _both_ stubborn and he looked like he had an idea suddenly and I wasn't sure what to do about it. He eyes had flashed, and I kind of just wanted to stare at him and maybe kiss him and apologize again.

"You want to go and get the rod?" Dean asked me, giving me a look.

I did a double-take. "I thought you didn't want me to go out of the circle."

"Well I'm, not going to get myself foolishly hurt saving your ass again when you left the rod over there in the first place." Dean replied and smiled at me since it was riling me up and totally making me want him more.

"Stop arguing with me." I told him firmly.

He smirked at me. "Why?"

"Because! It's making me want you!" I admitted loudly.

Dean nodded and chuckled. "I know."

The growling of the Hellhound got louder, and so Dean and I decided that he was going to go ahead and distract the beast while I got the rod. So as Dean left the circle in one direction, I took off the other direction as the Hound followed him and grabbed the rod, lunging at the beast and driving it through his body.

"Fire, Lanni! Now!" Dean said, trying to hold the Hellhound off with his rifle.

I shot the dog with a fireball, and Dean jumped away from the beast and held onto me, having me leave the old house and we watched as the house began to burn. I hadn't meant to start a fire, but the Hellhounds were dead and that was all mattered, so we had to count ourselves lucky. Then I looked up at Dean and had to bite my lips to keep my hormones in check.

"You're bleeding." I told him, holding back the urge to jump him while he was all sweaty, dirty and bloody.

"I'll be fine." He said, and smirked at me, making me flush warm with want, but all I could do was bite my lip because after leaning in ever so slightly, he walked away from me to go and tell Sam it was finished.

**Note: Oh the drama, the drama. Amazed I got two chapters up of this? Me too. There may even be a third one up tonight, but we'll see. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	27. My Future is With You

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter will make most of you very happy, I promise.**

**I hope you like it!**

**I also apologize—this is what I was talking about before: I wrote about Hellhounds and then Eric brought them into the show differently…so I worked with what I had.**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

"I freaking love this freaking food." I said happily.

"I can tell—you're packing it in." Dean told me, shooting me a look that said he loved me, but he also thought it was time to be playful too and I loved it.

I gave him a look. "You should know from experience that I do not gain weight from eating anything—the only time I gained any weight, I was pregnant."

"And then you gained it gracefully." Sam replied with a smile, sipping his coffee as we sat in the Diner.

I smiled at him and ate my bite of pancake playfully. "That I most certainly did."

Part of me was still a little choked up every time the baby was mentioned, but at the same time I was trying to be playful again. I miss old me, the boys missed old me, and old me was playful, cheeky and stubborn—not to mention a smart mouth. So I was going back to my old habits no matter how hard that was proving to be sometimes and they would have to deal with that.

"Please don't eat your pancake like that." Dean told me with a sigh. "_Especially_ not when you're flirting with Sam."

I turned to him and frowned a little. "Sorry."

"It's just that you made me want you right there." He said, drinking his coffee too.

"Happens—I seem to have that effect on people." I told him, winking at him.

He smiled at me and rolled his eyes as he chuckled, all three of us looking up as our waiter came over to our table. I can't say that he wasn't attractive either—he had deep brown eyes and light brown hair, with some stuble and a killer grin. He had been incredibly sweet to us to, and he was most certainly getting a tip no matter what.

"This is on the house." The waiter said, and I smirked at him and he checked me out he walked away.

"See?" I said with a smile on my face. "But unlike you, I'm not going to bang him just because he was sweet to me—it's not my style, and thank God it's not yours anymore."

"That's the fifth thing on the house today." Dean said after shooting me a look for my response to him and then he pointed at the plate. "You gonna eat it?"

I shot him a look. "Dude…its pie."

He sighed loudly. "Fine."

"You sure you don't want to share?" Sam asked me, both of them looking at the pie rather hungrily.

I got a bite on my fork and slowly raised it to my mouth, taking a bite and smiling, closing my eyes and moaning a bit happily. It was damn good pie and I was _not_ sharing it. There was just something about it that made it practically perfect, and it was my gift from the really attractive waiter, so I was going to be nice and eat it.

"Stop…" Dean said slowly, running his foot along mine.

I opened my eyes. "This is better than sex."

"You did not just say that!" Dean told me, gasping a little like a girl.

"Oh, I think I did." I said with a nod. "I mean not that making love isn't fun, and the random banging sometimes when we're horny isn't fantastic—cause it is—it's just that this is _damn_ good apple pie! Now…let's get down to business."

Dean sighed. "All right, fine."

"Well so much for our low profile. You got a warrant in St. Louis." Sam said, looking up from his laptop. "And now you're officially in the Fed's database."

"Dude, I'm like Dillinger or something." He said, drinking his coffee.

"Dean, it's not funny." He said as I giggled and stopped as he looked at me.

I closed my mouth. "Sorry…"

I really couldn't help laughing at Dean because he was so adorable, but at the same time I knew that I needed to buckle down. We were talking about Dean being on the run, and it was important that we understood what we were going to have to do, and to figure out how to stay under the radar. Besides, perhaps that meant a few more motel room trysts for Dean and I in the future…I could dream.

"It makes the job harder—we've gotta be more careful now." Sam explained giving Dean and I looks.

"Well, what do they got on you?" Dean asked him. "What do they got on Lanni?"

Sam looked down at the laptop. "I'm sure they just haven't posted it yet."

"Wait, no accessory? Nothing?" Dean asked him.

"Shut-up." Sam told him.

Dean chuckled loudly. "You're jealous."

"No, I'm not." Sam protested.

"I'm a little jealous." I admitted with a shrug.

"Uh-huh." Dean replied, eating some food, and then chuckling a little more as Sam gave a look at his laptop. "All right, well what do you got on the case there, you innocent harmless young man, you?"

Sam closed his laptop and grabbed the papers. "Architect Sean Boyden plummeted to his death from the roof of his home—a condominium he designed."

"I think this could be closely related to what we did last time." I said with a simple shrug. "Called animal control, complained about a 'vicious, wild, black dog', the authorities couldn't find it, no one else saw it—in fact, the authorities are a little confused as to how a wild dog could get past the doorman, take the elevator up, and start roaming the halls of the cushiest joint in town…you know, unless it's our kind of gig with Hellhounds attached to it."

Dean chuckled at me. "Well look who's all cheeky—as far as I know, the Hellhounds are corporeal."

"No, honey—there are several types. Come on…have my feelings ever been wrong?" I asked him.

"No." Dean admitted, stroking my hair. "What's the lore on it?"

Sam nodded at him. "There are spectral black dogs all over the world, but some say they're animal spirits, others say death omens—Hellhounds kind of fits if we could narrow the research down. But anyway, whatever they are, they're mean, nasty—"

"—yeah, bet they could hump the crap out of your leg. Look at that one. Huh?" Dean chuckled, showing us the picture he'd been given in mine and Sam's stack of papers of research.

I laughed a little. "I must be as immature as you because I found that funny."

"I didn't." Sam admitted to us.

"What? They could." Dean said as Sam gave him a look.

xxxx

The three of us got dressed up in suits and as we went up to the door of the house, Dean brushed a stray strand of hair out of my face and I blushed a little. Then I pinned it back and he smiled, stepping a little closer, and I loved it more than I could admit out loud. I stepped up closer to him and took a hold on his jacket, smiling up at him.

"So we're from Architectural Digest?" I asked him.

He nodded and stroked my hair. "Yeah."

Sam knocked on the door and then the man let us in and we talked to him for a while, making sure that we had every fact straight. It wouldn't be very good if we just blew into town, thought we knew everything, and screwed up the hunt.

"So, you and Sean Boyden were business partners for, almost ten years right?" Sam asked him.

"That's right." The man answered. "Now one more time this is for?"

"A tribute for Mr. Boyden—_Architectural Digest_." Dean replied, giving a smile as I wrote things down and the man chuckled. "Funny to you?"

The man shook his head. "No it—it's a tribute. Yeah. See, Sean always got the tributes. He kills himself, and leaves me and his family behind, but he gets another tribute."

I nodded at that and realized I was picking up a few things from him—he was jealous. It wasn't a 'I would kill him' kind of jealous though…he just seemed to be passed over and slightly bitter about it. There was nothing ominous about him, and yet…there was definitely something more going on here than met the eye.

"Right." Sam replied slowly. "You have any idea why he'd do such a thing?"

The man shook his head. "No, I have no clue. I mean he lived a charmed life."

"How so?" I asked, looking up from my notepad.

"He was a flat-out genius." He answered quickly. "I mean I'm capable, but next to him?" He shook his head. "It wasn't always that way either."

"No?" Dean asked.

He looked at us. "You want to know the truth? There was a time where he couldn't even design a pup tent. Hell, 10 years ago he was working as a bartender at this place called Lloyd's—a complete dive."

"So what changed?" Sam asked.

"You got me. But overnight he gets this huge commission, and he starts designing—he starts designing the most ingenious buildings anyone has ever seen. It was like the level of Van Gogh and Mozart, it—" He trailed off.

"What?" Dean asked.

The man laughed a little as he shook his head sadly. "Its funny—true geniuses. They seem to die young, don't they? To have that kind of talent. Why—why throe it away?"

"Thank you for you time." I told him, and smiled.

As we left, we went to the Animal Protection Agency and Sam and I sent Dean inside to get the information we needed about people calling in about black dogs. We wanted to know if there was more to this than just some spectral black dog—to a Hellhounds—and I wanted to go straight to Lloyd's Bar, but we had to check records first. Honestly, we had to see how many people had been targeted and see if there was a pattern so we could save the next person before they were targeted.

"What did you find out?" I asked Dean when he came to the car and got into it.

Dean smirked. "Well, the secretary hit on me. Other than that, every complaint called in this week about anything, big, black or doglike. There are 19 calls in all, and uh, I don't know what this is."

"You mean Carly's MySpace address?" Sam asked when dean handed Dean the yellow sticky note.

"Yeah, MySpace—what the Hell is that?" Dean asked as Sam chuckled again and I held back a laugh. "Seriously, is it like some sort of porn site? I mean…it's yours. You can use it if you want."

I rolled my eyes. "Wow that was a damn nice comeback."

Dean smiled at me and we decided to check out all the houses, and then when we had gotten to enough of them, I decided to just sit it out in the car. I was so certain that every answer we needed was at the bar, but we had checked the houses first for more clues and honestly it made sense but I wanted to check out the bar. So when the boys came back, they told us the connection was Lloyd's Bar—yay for my instincts—and I nodded as we drove out there.

"It's a crossroad." I told them as we got out of the car and walked towards the bar past yellow flowers, me leaning down and looking at it. "Its yarrow flowers…"

I trailed off as Sam nodded slowly, Dean looking at us confused. It wasn't that he didn't know what they were it was that he hadn't completely put it all together yet and Sam's wheels were still turning. For some reason I was feeling a little sick to my stomach, and I knew that wasn't a coincidence…I was part of this somehow and I needed to know _how_.

"They're used for summoning spells and how much of a 'coincidence' does it take to have the victims both getting successful overnight ten years ago hanging out at Lloyd's?" I asked them, heading over to the middle of the crossroads and then held my hand out over the dirt, muttering a spell and then smiling when the dirt began to move and I pulled a box out when it was uncovered. "Wow my instincts are getting incredible."

Dean nodded and looked over my shoulder as I opened up the box, looking at the contents and swallowing. There were some bones, a vial of dirt and a photo and it was pretty obvious that we were _definitely _dealing with Hellhounds. The only thing now was that we couldn't save these people…at least _I_ didn't know how to save them from their own foolish decisions.

"I'd be willing to bet that's graveyard dirt." Sam pointed out.

I nodded at him. "And definitely a black cat bone."

"That's serious spell work—I mean that's deep, south voodoo stuff." Dean told us.

"This isn't a normal hunt, you guys. Crossroads are used not just to summon demons—they're used to make pacts with them." I explained, ignoring the looks thrown my way because they weren't stupid. "They sell their souls and then the Hellhounds come to collect it. I mean the corporeal ones that we came across were just rogue…these spectral ones are some serious shit."

Dean nodded at me. "Whatever this demon is, it's back and it's collecting…and wherever that doctor lady is running, she ain't running fast enough."

"So it's just like the Robert Johnson legend, right?" Sam asked is. "I mean 'selling your soul at the crossroads' kind of deal?"

"Except that wasn't a legend—you know his music." Dean replied as I nodded and Sam looked at us blankly.

I raised my eyebrows. "You don't know Robert Johnson songs?"

"Sam, there's occult references all over his lyrics. 'Crossroad Blues', 'The Devil and Me Blues', 'There's a Hellhound on my Trail'?" Dean sighed when Sam still looked at us blankly and smiled at me because I knew what he was talking about. "Story goes he died choking on his own blood. He was hallucinating, and, and muttering about big evil dogs."

"And now it's happening all over again." Sam said slowly.

I nodded at him and swallowed…I wasn't ready for this. "Yeah."

Sam nodded and only Dean was noticing the worried look on my face because I was trying desperately to keep focused. I knew that eventually I'd have to come clean and explain all about my demon blood, but I was trying to figure out how I was connected to _this_—to _this_ crossroads. It was so hard for me to understand, and at the same time I knew that eventually out hunting I would come closer to my father.

"We gotta find out who else struck bargains around here." Sam told us suddenly.

"Right, so we gotta clean up these peoples' messes for them?" Dean asked him skeptically. "I mean they're not exactly squeaky-clean. No one put a gun up to their heads and forced them to play 'let's make a deal'."

Sam looked at him. "So what, we should just leave them to die?"

"Someone goes over Niagra in a barrel, you gonna jump in and save them?" Dean asked him.

"Dean…" Sam said.

Dean sighed loudly. "All right…fine."

"Rituals like this you gotta put your picture into the mix. So that guy probably summoned him. We can see if anyone in the bar knows him." I offered trying to stop what could potentially become another argument.

"If he's still alive." Dean said, walking past us to the bar.

"I'm worried about him." Sam told me.

I nodded and put my hands in my pockets. "I am too."

xxxx

"What's this guy's name again?" Sam asked as we went up the stairs of a building.

"George Darrow. Apparently quite the regular at Lloyd's." Dean replied and looked around the run-down place nodding slowly. "This house probably ain't the next up on 'MTV Cribbs' is it?"

Sam nodded at him. "Yeah. So whatever deal this guy made…"

"Wasn't for money." I replied and straightened out my clothes.

"Who knows? Maybe this place is full of babes with Princess Leia bikinis." Dean said, and I gave him a look that he didn't see since I was walking behind them, but Sam sighed. "I'm just saying—this guy's got one big epic bill due. I hope he at least asked for something fun."

When we got to the door, we found some black stuff under the crack and I bent down, touching it. I licked one of my other fingers and touched it again, bringing it up to my nose and smelling it. Yeah…definitely dealing with a man who knew what he was doing and what he was dealing with.

"Smells like pepper." I said and smiled awkwardly when the door opened suddenly and a black man popped his head out.

He looked at us. "Who the Hell are you?"

"George Darrow?" Dean asked him.

"I'm not buying anything." The man replied, and tried to shut the door.

"Whoa, whoa, looks like you went for the wrong shaker there." Dean told him. "Usually when you want to keep something evil out, you use salt."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He replied, though he knew we knew something now.

I nodded and showed him the picture. "We found this…have the Hellhounds showed yet? We really just…don't mean any harm. Can we have 5 minutes of your time please?"

I smiled the smile at him that I was so good at and he nodded slowly, letting us inside. There were lots of paintings around and I smiled a little, pretty certain that he had asked for some talent—he was _amazing_. His paintings were brilliant and I felt terrible that somehow I was connected to all of this…I felt terrible because I felt responsible.

"So that stuff out there…Goofer Dust?" I asked him.

George smiled at me. "Well you definitely know something."

"Yeah…well _I_ do. I mean not that they don't—they know demons—it's the HooDoo they aren't familiar with. I'm Alana Rose Meckenzie." I explained and swallowed when he nodded at me…and it was with _knowing_. "You knew my mother…didn't you?"

"Florence Abigail Meckenzie…that was your mother?" George asked me.

I nodded at him. "That's my mother, yeah…how did you know her?"

Sam and Dean realized that they were no longer part of the conversation and took a couple of steps back to let me do what I needed to do. It was part of my past even though I didn't know him, and I smiled at George as he took a breath. He was going to tell me some things I didn't want to know, and yet at the same time, I probably did.

"Your mother came to me about two years into the sentence and she bought one of my paintings. She didn't have much, but she told me she was sorry, and that she knew who had come around." George explained and then he shrugged. "She mentioned her daughters, and that was really about it."

I nodded at him. "So you made the deal to get talent? Mr. Darrow, we think we might be able to help you."

"Listen, I get that you all want to help, but sometimes a person makes their bed and they just got to lie down in it. I'm the one that called the demon in the first place." George explained to us.

"Just because you called him doesn't mean that we can't help you out of this deal." I told him softly.

He looked at me. "I appreciate it, but I was weak. I mean who doesn't want to be great? Who don't want their life to _mean_ something. I just…I just never thought about the price."

"Was it worth it?" Dean asked him slowly.

"Hell no. Course, I asked for talent. I should've gone for fame." He chuckled a little. "I'm still broke…and lonely. Just got this pile of paintings don't nobody want."

I looked around at the paintings and smiled a little. "They really are fantastic—I can see why my mother bought one…what happened to the demon?"

"The demon didn't leave." George said, and I nodded. "I didn't count on that. After our deal was done, the damn thing stayed around for a week, just chatting, making more deals. I tried to warn folks, but, who's gonna listen to an old drunk."

"How many others were there?" Sam asked him suddenly.

"That architect and that doctor lady. I kept up with them—they got in the papers. At least they got famous." He said and sipped his alcohol.

"Who else, George. Come on, think." Dean stressed at him.

George nodded at him. "Oh, one more. Uh, nice guy, too. Hudson—Evan, I think. I don't know what he asked for. Don't matter now—we done for."

"No. No, there's gotta be a way." Sam protested.

"You don't get it! I don't want a way!" George said, setting his beer down.

"Look, you don't—" Sam began.

"Look I called that thing! I brought this on myself!" George cried, standing up. I brought it on them. I'm going to Hell one way or another. All I want is to finish my last painting. Day or two…I'm done. I'm just trying to hold them off until I'm done. Buy some time. Okay guys, time you went. Go help somebody that wants help."

I swallowed when Sam tried to protest and George told us to leave because he wanted to finish his last painting before he died. Dean wasn't protesting because Dean thought he had brought it upon himself—which he had—and I just didn't want to push him so I shook my head at Sam and held my hand up, George looking at me.

"I'm truly sorry it wasn't worth it, George." I told him and pushed on the boys, pushing them towards the door. "Um…can I have one?"

George looked at me. "Go ahead…just go."

He said it calmly, and so I took a small one of a woman, and I followed the boys out, smiling sadly at the painting. George had given up everything and his talent hadn't been realized by the world…and I was beginning to think about what he'd said about my mother. My mother had known the demon…my mother was part of this and I needed to find her and learn how and why.

xxxx

It was dark when we drove up to Evan's house, and I sighed. "What if Evan doesn't want our help either? I feel like even though we've decided to help these people, we shouldn't force ourselves on them. They did this, and if they don't want us to clean up their messes for them, then we're not doing it—I say leave the guy alone if he asks, no pushing him, all right?"

"That's why we straight out let him know what's up, and that we're here to take the demon out for him." Dean agreed.

Sam sighed when we both look at him to agree as well and then after Dean and I nodded, we went up to the door we knocked. It took a moment or two but soon we were answered, and I noticed the panic in his voice when he spoke, even though he was acting calm as a cucumber—he was definitely our guy.

"Yes?" He asked us.

Dean smiled at him. "Evan Hudson?"

"Yeah." The man replied.

"You ever been to a place called Lloyd's? It would have been about ten years ago." Dean said nonchalantly and I practically slapped my own forehead with my hand because it was _not_ tactful at all and Evan's charade was over—he was now terrified and slammed the door in our faces. "Come on, we're not demons!"

Sam gave his brother a look. "Any other bright ideas?"

Dean took a breath and kicked the door open, and then we heard another door close upstairs so we followed. He seemed terrified to die, so maybe if we explained why we were here, we could help him…that seemed to be what he would listen to. Dean was about to kick the other door in, but Sam stopped his foot as I got in between him and the door and I shook my head at him.

"Whoa." I said, and turned to the door after telling Sam and Dean to let me handle it. "Evan, we're not demons, we're here to get you out of your deal. I have a pretty good idea of how to stop it you just have to trust us."

Evan scoffed through the door, still terrified. "How do I know you're not lying?"

"Well you don't, but you're kinda running low on options there, Buddy Boy." Dean said smiling a little and I smacked him in the chest.

"Evan it's really simple: do you want to die?" I asked him.

There was a pause and I held my hand up to silence Dean as he went to say, 'of course he doesn't' and Dean shot me a look. He really didn't like that I was taking control and it wasn't that I was taking control—it was that I knew so much about this. It was that somehow I was connected to this and that was just one more secret that I was hiding from them and I didn't know how much longer I could keep this up, _especially _after this.

"No." Evan replied and opened up the door. "Can you really stop it?"

I swallowed and nodded. "Yeah, I know a way."

"What'd you ask for anyway, Ev, Huh? Never need Viagra. Bowl a perfect game, what?" Dean asked him and I turned to him, narrowing my eyes—he _wasn't_ helping and for some reason he was pissed…and I had a feeling it was because of John.

"My wife." Evan responded without a beat.

Dean chuckled at that and got condescending. "Oh, get the girl. Right, that's worth a trip to Hell for."

"Dean, stop." I told him, trying not to let it get to me. "Just for the love of God, stop it."

"No, he's right: I made the deal. Nobody twisted my arm. That, uh, woman, or whatever she was, at the bar, said I could have anything I wanted. I thought she was nuts at first, but…I don't know. I was—I was desperate." Evan said slowly.

"Desperate?" Sam asked him.

Evan sighed and nodded. "Julie was dying."

"You did it to save her?" Dean asked slowly, feeling bad for what he had said but still upset about the whole mess.

"She had cancer. They stopped treatment. They were moving her into hospice. They kept saying, "Matter of days"." Evan explained. "So, yeah…I made the deal. And I'd do it again. I'd have died for her on the spot."

Dean nodded and took it all in. "You ever think about her in all this?"

"I did this _for_ her!" Evan replied in an angry tone.

"You sure about that? I think you did this for yourself…so you wouldn't have to live without her. Well guess what? She's going to have to live without you now. But what if she knew how much it cost? What if she knew it cost you your soul? How do you think she'd feel?" Dean asked, obviously hurt.

"Okay, that's enough. Evan, sit tight all right? We're going to figure this out." Sam assured him, and then we all left the room and Dean walked ahead of us. "You all right?"

Sam and I were both worried about Dean and we knew that this whole hunt was throwing him off emotionally, which rarely happened. John had made a deal to save Dean, and he had been living with it ever since Sam had found John collapsed on the floor in the hospital. There was nothing that we could say to make that better, and so Sam and I just had to let Dean know that we were there—care and share with tact, I guess.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Dean asked him with a shrug. "Hey, I got an idea. You two throw George's stuff at the Hellhounds—keep Evan safe for as long as possible. I'm gonna go to the crossroads and summon the demon."

Sam looked miffed. "Summon—are you nuts?"

"As crazy as Dean's idea sounds—and as terribly bad as it seems to let him go out in his state right now—that's the only way. The demon made the deal, and the demon can take it back. However, someone needs to stay here and protect Evan from the Hellhounds until the demon can be persuaded to back off…_if_ the demon can be persuaded."

"How do you know all of this?" Sam asked me.

I smiled at him. "That is a story for another time—when we _have_ more time. For now, use the Goofer Dust against the Hellhounds and Dean and I will take care of the demon—we have to reason with it some how and I think I know a way."

"How much time will this take?" Sam asked me.

"I don't know, a while. It's not easy for those suckers to claw their way out of Hell and back into the sunshine." Dean told him.

I felt another fight coming on as Dean got involved again. "Sammy, I know it sounds dangerous and I know that it seems suicidal, but it's our only option and we have to take it, all right? I'll protect Dean, I promise."

Sam nodded at me but he was about to protest and I wasn't sure I could handle that right then. Dean and I needed to get a move on to save Evan from the fate he'd brought upon himself, and honestly I wanted so desperately for Sam _not_ to bring up John's name. We both knew that Dean was on edge because of this, and that he was in no position to be summoning demons.

"You know all about this, so maybe you should do this on your own." Sam told me.

Dean stepped close to his brother. "She is _not_ going out there alone."

"Dean, I'll be fine on my own—you and Sam can protect Evan." I agreed and then jumped a little when Dean got angry.

"What the Hell is going on here?" Dean asked us. "Suddenly you two think I can't do my job?"

"You know, you've been on edge every since we found that crossroads, Dean." Sam explained to him without skipping a beat. "And I think I know why."

"We don't have time for this." Dean said, brushing past us.

"Dad." Sam said simply, and Dean stopped. "You think maybe Dad made one of these deals, huh? Hell, I've been thinking it. I'm sure you've been thinking it too."

We all looked at each other and let it sink in—I didn't like all this regret and anger and need for revenge, so I knew I had to be the one to handle this, even though Dean wanted to. It was the nerve that had been struck with Sam's words, and I knew that no matter what, I had to get Dean through this…he needed me. Besides, even if Dean tagged along, Sam would be here to take care of Evan, and I knew he could handle it.

"It fits, doesn't it?" Dean asked Sam. "I'm alive, Dad's dead. Yellow-eyed demon was involved. What if he did? What if he struck a deal? His life for my soul?

"I think I hear it! It's outside!" Evan called from the room.

Dean pointed to the room Evan was in. "Just keep him alive, okay?"

"Dean!" Sam protested.

"Go!" Dean said, walking down the hallway.

I hurried after him and took him by the arm him sighing and stopping, turning to me and looking me in the eye. He shook his head because he knew what was coming next and he really didn't want to have it out right then, but part of me did.

"I'm handling this, got it?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "No, you're not. This is dangerous and _I'm_ going to be the one to do this."

"Dean—" I protested.

"—no!" Dean yelled.

I swallowed and let go of him, following him to the Impala and then getting in the passenger seat. When we got there, we drew some Devil's Traps, and then Dean put his picture in the box and buried it in the crossroads. I was beyond pissed that he wasn't letting me handle this, but I simply went to a spot near the bar that Dean had told me to hide at, and waited for the demon to show…and I didn't have to wait for very long.

"So…what brings a guy like you to a place like this?" A beautiful woman in black asked him. "You called me?"

Dean looked her over. "I'm just glad it worked."

"First time?" She asked him with a smile.

"You could say that." Dean replied with a smile of his own.

"Oh, come on now, don't sell yourself short." The woman replied, walking over to him. "I know all about you, Dean Winchester."

I rolled my eyes as she flirted away with him and suddenly realized that if I could sense her, then she could sense me, and that could potentially be a problem. We needed to be able to get through this with no hitches—I'd promised Evan that we could save him and that's mostly why I felt like _I_ should be the one talking to the demon and _not_ Dean.

"So…you know who I am." Dean told her with a nod.

She shrugged at him. "I get the newsletter."

"Well don't keep me in suspense…what have you heard?" Dean asked, getting closer to her.

"I heard you were handsome, but…you're just edible. What can I do for you, Dean?" She asked him and then turned to look at me. "Is Lana going to be joining us?"

I took a breath and stepped out from my hiding place as Dean opened his mouth to protest that we were alone and he sighed. She smiled at me and I nodded, walking over to where Dean was and smiling at her. At least I was part of this now even though she wasn't really focusing on me.

"Maybe we should do this in Dean's car?" I suggested to her.

Dean nodded in agreement. "Nice and private."

"Sounds good to me." She replied, and the three of us headed towards the Impala.

"So I was hoping we could strike a deal." Dean told her.

She nodded and smiled. "That's what I do."

"We want Evan Hudson released from his contract." I explained to her.

"So sorry, Darling. That is _not_ negotiable." She told us with a shake of her head.

Dean nodded at her. "I'll make it worth your while."

"Oh, really? What are you offering?" She asked.

"Me." Dean replied before I could say anything.

"Well, well, well. You'd sacrifice your life for someone else's. Like father, like son. You did know about your Dad's deal, right? His life for yours. Oh, I didn't make the deal myself but, boy, I wish I had." She told him.

I was starting to get a little sick and tired of everyone mentioning John and his deal and I knew it was going to cloud Dean's judgment here. I needed him to think clearly and focus on the task at hand—the job we were _trying _to complete.

"After you." Dean told the demon, opening the car door.

She smiled at him. "Such a gentleman."

I smiled hoping she would get into the car, but before she got into the car she looked down and saw the trap. There was a Devil's Trap and some salt, which made her incredibly angry and she looked at Dean, me flexing my fingers just in case I had to do a spell and save Dean's ass.

"A Devil's trap? You've got to be kidding me. You stupid, stupid…" She slammed the door. "I should rip you from limb to limb."

They began to back up towards the next trap and I smiled as Dean said, "Take your best shot."

She stopped moving. "No, I don't think I will. I'm not going to put you out of your misery."

"Yeah? Why not?" Dean asked her and I half realized that he _wanted_ out of his misery.

"Cause your misery's the whole point. It's too much fun to watch. Knowing how your Daddy died for you, how he sold his soul. I mean, that's got to hurt." She replied, walking up to him as he was pressed against this pillar of wood. "He's all you ever think about. You wake up and your first thought is, "I can't do this anymore." You're all lit up with pain. I mean you loved him so much, and it's all your fault." She chuckled at him. "You blew it, Dean. I could have given you what you need—Lana didn't even explain to you what I was capable of."

"What do I need?" Dean asked thankfully not taking the bait to be upset with me.

"Your father." She replied after a pause and I looked up at her—bitch had gone there. "I could have brought him back. Your Loss. See, ya, Dean. Have a nice, long life."

"Hold on." Dean told her as she began to walk away, and he got under the other trap, so I figured we were fine, especially when she smiled.

I was holding my ground pretty firmly, watching it go down and taking everything she was throwing at me, but the second that the deal started to go south I was ready to jump in and take control. It wasn't that I didn't trust Dean—I did with everything I had—but I also knew that things had been hard for him lately. Besides, this deal she was offering was incredibly enticing, and I couldn't blame him if he thought about it—but I'd kill him if he took it.

"You're lucky I've got a soft spot for lost puppies and long faces." She said, going back over to him. "I can't just leave you like this. Besides, you didn't come here to bargain for Evan. Not really."

"Can you bring him back? My dad?" Dean asked in a serious voice, and it almost sounded too serious.

I was about to take a couple of steps towards them, but she was so close to getting under the old wooden structure with him. We really needed her under the trap and maybe—just maybe—Dena was only saying these things as part of the plan. Still…something in his eyes was making me start to rethink all of this—maybe I needed to be pro-active.

"Of course I can…just as he was. Your dad would live a long, natural life, just like he was meant to. That's a promise." She said with a nod.

Dean took a deep breath. "What about me?"

"I could give you ten years, ten long, good years with him. That's a lifetime. The family can be together again. John, Dean, Sammy. The Winchester boys all reunited. You'll even have Lana by your side—maybe settle down and adopt a few kids since she can't give you any." She smiled and walked under the structure with him and I had to hide my joy of her being trapped, and also my pain of the things that she knew and far she was willing to go. "Look, your dad is supposed to be alive. You're supposed to be dead. So, we'll just set things straight. Put things back in their natural order, and you get ten more years on top: that's a bonus."

"You think you could…" Dean said, walking out of the structure as I started to go over towards them. "Throw in a set of steak knives?"

"You know this smart-ass self defense mechanism of yours…" She began, but realized she couldn't follow him out of the structure.

Looking up she saw the other Devil's Trap, and then looked at him. "Dean…"

"You're really trapped now. That's gotta hurt." Dean told her.

"Let me out now." She said firmly.

I laughed and shook my head. "You're not getting out of here unless you call off your Hellhound and let Evan go. Then, we will let _you_ go."

"I can't break a binding contract." She explained as Dean circled her.

"And by 'can't' you mean 'don't want to'? Last chance. Evan and his wife get to live to a ripe old age. Going…going…" Dean said slowly.

She looked at him, freaking out a little. "Let's talk about this."

"Okay, gone." He said, pulling out a journal and opening it up.

"What are you doing?" She asked nervously.

Dean smirked at her. "You're going on a trip…way down South."

"Look, forget Evan. Think of your dad." She tried, desperate now.

Dean stopped for a moment and looked up at her before I looked at Dean and when we made eye contact, he began to speak in Latin. He could do this—he had the strength to handle her without me. She began to get exorcised, but stayed silent until the very end and I raised my eyebrows…had she actually broken?

"Wait!" She said and when Dean went under the wood with her, she kissed him, making me cringe all over.

Dean pulled away from her. "What the Hell was that for?"

"Sealing the deal." She told him.

"You know, usually I like to be warned before I'm violated with demon tongue." He replied and I shuddered.

"Evan Hudson is free." She told us. "He and his wife will live long lives."

I nodded at her. "And because your word is your bond, you can't break this? You made the deal and now Evan is free."

"Yes. You got what you wanted, now let me go." She said firmly and glared when Dean backed up out of the structure and held onto the cross necklace. "You're going to double-cross me? Funny how _I'm_ the trustworthy one. You know, you renege, send me to Hell, sooner or later I'm going to climb my way out and skinning Evan Hudson will be the _first_ thing I do." She said, leaning on the pillars.

I put my hand on Dean's. "Let her go."

Dean nodded at me and I smiled at him, letting the demon go and making sure that she could get out. It had been the deal and now Evan was safe and that was what we had been going for in the first place. Now we just had to get out of here and had to get out now.

"I gotta tell you, you would never pull that stunt if you knew." She said as she began to walk away.

Dean looked at her and I swallowed. "Knew what?"

"Where your Dad is—you should have made that deal. You see, people talk about Hell, but it's just a word…doesn't even come close to describing the real thing." She explained to him.

"Shut your mouth, Bitch." Dean told her in a hurt, angry voice.

"If you could see your poor Daddy. Hear the sounds he makes cause he can't scream." She said and both she and Dean were surprised when I backhanded her face.

"How about I send you back there?" Dean replied, going over to her, but the demon stopped possessing the girl and she fell to the ground and then looked up at Dean as I knelt down beside her.

"What? How did I get here?" She asked, starting to cry.

I smiled at her softly. "It's okay…we'll get you back."

xxxx

As we drove away from the town, I sat in the backseat and looked at the boys as they talked to each other and the radio played. There were things to discuss and Sam wanted to know if the demon was actually telling the truth about John. If John had made a deal then John was definitely in Hell…the demon was telling the truth and I was pretty sure that Dean understood that.

"Demons lie all the time, right? Maybe she was lying." Sam said as I hugged myself.

Dean glanced at him skeptically. "Come on, is that really what you think? How could he do it?"

"He did it for you." Sam said slowly.

"Exactly. How am I supposed to live with that?" Dean asked Sam and I. "You know the thought of him…wherever he is right now…I mean he spent his whole life chasing that yellow-eyed son of a bitch, he should have gone down fighting. It was supposed to be his legacy, you know? Not bargaining with the damn thing. Not this."

Sam nodded at him. "How many people do you think Dad saved? Total?"

"That's not the point, Sam." Dean told him.

"Evan Hudson is safe because of what Dad taught us. That's his legacy Dean. Now we're still here, man. So we gotta keep going…for him." Sam explained and we were all silent until Sam spoke up again. "Hey, Dean?"

I didn't like the tone in his voice and I knew he was about to ask the question I had wanted to ask but left alone when we got the girl to where she needed to be. Dean had come close to making a deal and Sam and I _needed_ to know if he would have really gone through with it.

"Yeah?" Dean asked him.

Sam took a breath. "When you were trapping that thing you weren't…I mean it was all a trick, right? You never considered actually making that deal, right?"

When Dean didn't answer and then switched from the blues to the hardcore metal, Sam and I had the same feeling—it was of pain. Dean had thought that his problems might have been able to be solved by selling his soul to bring John back. We were silent until we got to the motel and then Sam decided to go straight to bed and Dean left the room to go and get something to drink.

"Go to him…it's the right thing to do." Sam told me, and I knew that we were on the same page.

It wasn't fair to any of us for us to try and cover up our true feelings just because life was hard at the moment. I went out of the door and saw Dean at the vending machine, shoving my hands in my pockets and looking at the ground before looking at his back to me and taking a breath.

"Why would you even have considered it?" I asked him suddenly and though it was tactless, I knew it had to be done.

"Because she brought up a nice proposition." He said, shrugging as he looked at me.

I nodded and swallowed. "But what were you thinking?"

"Lanni, it felt like the right thing to do at first." Dean protested, turning away from me to put some change into the machine.

"All right, how about we use _your_ logic. Did you ever think about me in all of this?" I asked, wishing I wasn't bringing this up right now, but knowing I needed to.

"That's a little selfish, don't you think?" Dean asked, trying to be funny, but he knew this was serious and he turned to me to let me know he was listening.

"Did you think that maybe without you, I would be a walking shell of something else?" I asked him. "You mean absolutely _everything_ to me. I know you miss your father, and I do too, but…I need _you_. Even if I had ten years with you, just those ten years and nothing more isn't enough for me. I know I've been distant because of this whole baby thing, but I can't live life without you and I can't believe that you don't know that by now. I've been making an effort because I know that you keep saying you want me, and this space we're putting between us is wrong. I love you, you flaming idiot."

Dean turned to me as his soda bottle fell into the slot, and he smiled a little. "What?"

I sighed. "God, Dean."

I walked over to him and grabbed a handful of his shirt before I pulled him to me. I kissed him hard at first, but when he returned the kiss with absolutely no hesitation, the kiss softened, and he wrapped his arms around me. We had to reposition ourselves a little, but our lips never left each others and I couldn't help but smile a little as our lips stayed pressed together for a little while. I stroked his cheek and then when we pulled away finally he smiled and rested his forehead against mine.

"Where do we go from here?" Dean asked me, nuzzling my nose a little with his.

I opened my mouth to answer when my cell phone rang. "I'll get back to you."

Dean nodded and stroked my hair softly, kissing me again. "Check on the girls."

**Note: So things are STARTING to get fixed, eh? The next chapter is pretty intense, so stay tuned. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	28. Through Thick and Thin, I'm With You

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I'm kinda in love with this one.**

**I realized that we're only like twenty chapters away from the saddest chapter yet, and that's kind of disconcerting, but we'll make it, guys.**

**=D**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

When I woke up in the middle of the night and propped my head up on my hand, smiling a little at Lana while she slept. She looked so calm, and there was a slight smile on her face so I was hoping that meant she was dreaming about something nice. I knew that this woman had me hook, line and sinker, and though part of me was really upset with her about that, part of me really wouldn't have it any other way. It was just that I still had this sinking feeling that I was going to get her killed someday and I _really_ didn't want to bring Lana any pain…no matter what.

I was still mad at her for the secrets she had kept, but I had my fair share of secrets I hadn't divulged to her yet, and so I knew I shouldn't be. She would have told me had the time been right—I definitely trusted the angel sleeping next to me. I reached out to stroke her hair and she stirred a little, but she didn't show any signs of opening up her eyes to wake up just yet, so I glanced over to see what Sam was doing. He was actually sleeping too, and when I looked back at Lana I couldn't resist…I leaned down and kissed her lips softly, and then got up and started to get dressed—I could always come back and win her over with something.

"The warmth all went away." Lana whispered to me as I pulled on my pants.

I turned to her and smiled at her pout. "It'll come back later."

"Yeah, but how _much_ later?" She asked, propping herself up on her elbows. "I was kinda hoping for you to be copping some feels and maybe trying to solicit early morning sex…"

"It's kind of the middle of the night, Lanni." I told her chuckling. "I figured I would go out and maybe get some beers."

Lana nodded at me thoughtfully and cocked her head to one side. "And bring them back?"

I rolled my eyes and nodded, zipping up my jeans and climbing onto the bed with her, hovering my face above hers, our noses touching. We stayed that way for a moment or two and then she ran her nose along mine, kissing me much too swiftly for me to kiss her back and it made me groan a little. The little tease had really learned some things from me I had hoped she wouldn't pick up and it was making me come undone.

"Absolutely, Baby." I said, leaning in to kiss her and groaning again when she pulled back after only a second of contact with our lips.

She nodded at me. "Let me get this straight: you woke up in the middle of the night, had a hankering for beers and now you're going to head out and get them and then bring them back?"

I nodded at her, raising my eyebrows a second at the playful tone in her voice, and then swallowing when she shrugged one of her tank straps off of her shoulder. She was doing this on purpose to get a rise out of me…and it was working and she knew it. I couldn't control my urges, and I shouldn't have been expected to—I was a man, and my beautiful girlfriend was showing off her flesh when I was feeling happy…in rather naughty places.

"Maybe satisfy some urges when you get back?" She asked me with a wink.

I kissed her. "Maybe we can just satisfy the urges now…"

"We can't do it _now_!" Lana protested, pushing on my chest as I showered her mouth with kisses and grunted in protest for what felt like the hundredth time. "Sam's sleeping!"

I sighed and nodded. "Fine."

"Dean, I'm sorry!" She told me as I got up to get my jacket. "I would totally take you right now but your brother is right there and I am _not_ having sex with you while he's only like two feet away."

I chuckled a little at the look that would bring to Sam's face were it to actually happen and then nodded at her. She smiled when I sent her a reassuring smile, and then started to head out when her voice stopped me.

"Bring me back a coffee and I'm yours forever." Lana called out to me in a whisper.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I had really _not_ wanted to wake Sam up at all, and smiled at Dean when he raised his eyebrows at me playfully and adjusted his jacket. He was highly amused by me, and definitely still horny—I was too, honestly—and I was glad that we were both able to be playful right now…we needed it.

"You weren't mine forever before?" Dean asked me.

I rolled my eyes and laughed softly. "I'll be yours forever and a _day_ then."

"That's more like it." Dean told me, and then just like that he was out the door.

I smiled and laid back on the bed, looking up at the ceiling and running my fingertips along my lips softly, thinking about it all. I _had_ been asleep for a good while, but I had felt Dean's lips brush against mine, and I was flattered he had been watching me sleep. That was the second time he'd kissed me while I had been sleeping and I was going to take it as an incredibly good sign.

"What in the world did I do to deserve him?" I asked myself softly.

I was pretty certain that I knew the answer to that—nothing. I was still hiding so much about myself and I didn't know how to get any of it off of my chest because it would devastate him. At the same time…what if Dean _couldn't_ really love me? What if he couldn't _actually_ be in love with me because he didn't actually _know_ me? Oh God…what if I was effectively ruining the best thing that had _ever_ happened to me?

Sitting up quickly, I ran my fingers through my hair and took a deep breath—I hadn't thought about it like that before. Sam and Dean Winchester had waltzed into my life when I had least expected it, and now I was smitten with them…they were my family. I was still _always_ going to love Jen and Kevin, and they're two _beautiful_ little girls, Kaydence and Minah, but Dean was my soul mate…I believed that…so what if my keeping secrets was ruining that?

"I have to come clean about _all_ of it." I told myself with an affirmative nod.

I looked over at Sam when I heard him stir a little and I got concerned—I hated it when Sam didn't sleep well. I figured that he was having another nightmare, so I got up and went over to his bed, leaning down and touching his shoulder. If I could help him through this then I was going to, because Sam had _always_ been there for me and I owed him so much more than he'd ever know.

"Sam?" I asked him, pushing on his shoulder softly. "Are you okay?"

I felt a strong hand hit me though, and I fell backwards as he fell off of the bed and Dean came in the room. I rubbed my painful head since I had hit the floor pretty hard, and Sam sat up breathing heavily and Dean looked confused and worried. Sam as having a rough time, and I was sitting on the floor knocked on my ass with a bump on my head and neither of us looked very happy.

"Sammy?" Dean asked him.

Sam looked directly over at me, aware of what he'd done. "Are you okay, Lan?"

I nodded slowly. "I just…_wow_ you hit hard when you're dreaming."

"I'm so sorry." Sam said reaching out to check my head as Dean set the beers and my coffee down.

"I'm fine, really." I told him, standing up. "What did you see?"

xxxx

"Continue on R224 West." The woman on the navigation on Sam's phone instructed.

Sam nodded at it and then looked at Dean. "There are only two towns in the U.S. named River Grove."

"How come you're so sure it's the one in Oregon?" Dean asked him again, his eyes leaving the road in front of him for only a moment.

"There was a picture." Sam answered him. "Crater Lake."

I nodded at him and stared at my empty coffee cup from the backseat. "Okay, what else did you see, Sammy?"

"I saw a dark room, some people, and a guy tied to a chair." Sam answered slowly with a shrug because he'd already told us the just of it.

To be honest Sam hadn't really told us much and Dean and I were still trying to get all of the specifics out of him. Basically all we knew was that Dean had killed one of the guys in Sam's vision, and we were headed to wherever he was to try and figure out what was going on. I had a feeling Sam was just worried because of what he thought his visions meant, but there was something darker going on and I had a feeling that my second to last secret was about to come out.

"And I ventilated him?" Dean asked Sam, making sure he had the story straight.

Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah…you thought there was something inside him."

"Like a demon? Was he possessed?" I asked Sam, trying to catch the looks on his face so I could get a better handle on what he was feeling.

"I don't know." Sam said irritably.

"All your weirdo visions are always tied to the yellow-eyed demon somehow. Was there any black smoke? Did we try to exorcise him?" Dean tried when he noted Sam's tone as I had done.

Sam shook his head at us. "No, nothing, you just plugged him—that's it."

"Well, I'm sure I had a good reason." Dean replied with a small nod.

"I sure hope so." Sam said softly.

"What does that mean? I'm not gonna waste an innocent man." Dean protested to his brother. "I wouldn't."

When Sam didn't answer I closed my eyes and I sighed loudly which caught both of their attentions. No matter how 'okay' we told each other that we were, we were still _far_ from being okay after everything we'd been through together. Sam was still worried about Dean's behavior—as was I—and Dean was sick and tired of being treated like he couldn't separate himself from the hunts and I understood that. Still, it was getting annoying to have each of them not understand what the other was _actually_ trying to say because they were both being too sensitive about all of it.

"If you guys start a pissing contest I'm jumping out of the car." I told them with a groan and then blew my bangs out of my face. "Let's just focus please on finding the guy that was tied to the chair in Sammy's vision and go from there—his visions are _not_ set in stone and now that we're warned, we can try to find a way _around_ whatever situation Sammy saw because we'll be on the look-out for other options. Now…can we at least get coffee before we get there? I'm exhausted and I'm cranky, and I kind of need a caffeine fix."

Dean nodded at me. "Yeah…we can stop at a drive through Starbucks, just for you."

I smiled at him and nodded, and after getting some coffee, we arrived in River Grove, and Sam recognized this black man sitting on a porch as a man from his vision. I pulled my hair back when I got out of the car, and then the three of us went over to question him so that we could get through this. Lord knew we needed a hunt to bring us back together in a _good_ way, and I was praying this was it because I was getting some _bad_ vibes from this town already and looked around.

"Can I help you?" The man asked us, looking at us strangely.

"Yeah…Billy Gibbons, Frank Beard, Alyssa Newman: U.S. Marshals." Sam told him, showing him his fake badge.

The man nodded. "What's this about?"

"We're looking for someone." I told him, looking at him and giving him a little smile.

"A young man—early 20s." Sam added with a nod. "He'd have a thin scar right below his hairline."

The man paused a moment. "What did he do?"

"Nothing." Sam replied quickly. "We're actually looking for someone else, but we think this young man can help us."

"Hey, he's not in any kind of trouble or anything." Dean explained. "Not yet. I think maybe you know who he is, Master Sergeant." He added, noting the tattoo on the man's arm. "My dad was in the corps. He was a corporal."

The man raised his eyebrows. "What company?"

"Echo-2-1." Dean answered immediately.

"So, can you help us?" I asked sweetly.

The man nodded slowly at us. "Duane Tanner's got a scar like that. But I know him. Good kid—keeps his nose clean."

"Oh, I'm sure he does. Um, do you know where he lives?" Dean asked politely.

"With his family, up Aspen way." The man answered.

"Thank you so much." I told him and we walked towards the car, Sam bumping into a post that has a word carved into it.

When I looked at it, I frowned, reaching out and tracing the carving as Dean said the word out loud: 'Croatoan'. Dean sounded confused about it which would normally have made me smile and call my adorable lug a goof, but this was serious. Something dark was going on here and I didn't like it…I didn't think that we should be here anymore, but I knew I wasn't going to convince the boys of that.

"Yeah, Roanoke…lost colony…ring a bell?" Sam asked Dean and then sighed. "Dean, did you pay any attention to history class?"

Dean scoffed at him. "Yeah—the shot heard around the world. How bills become laws…"

"That's not school…that's 'Schoolhouse Rock'." Sam replied.

"Whatever." Dean shrugged.

"Roanoke was one of the first English colonies in America, late fifteen hundreds." Sam told his brother with little patience.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, I do remember that. The only thing they left behind was a single word carved in a tree: 'Croatoan'." Dean contemplated.

I nodded at him and sighed. "Yeah, there were theories: Indian raid, disease…but nobody knows what _really_ happened. They were all just gone, wiped out overnight."

"With her, it's hot to be a know-it-all." Dean said as Sam sent him a look. "So…you don't think that's what's going on here?"

Sam shrugged at him. "Whatever I saw in my head, it sure wasn't good. But what do you think could do that?"

"Well, I mean, like I said, all your weirdo visions are always tied to the yellow-eyed demon somehow, so..." Dean tried, trailing off as he had made his point mostly.

"We should get help. Bobby, hum, Ellen, maybe." Sam suggested.

"Yeah, that's a good idea, and we can call Jen too." I said, but when I took out my phone I frowned. "I don't have a signal."

"I don't either." Sam agreed, and so we headed for a phone booth.

"The line's dead." Dean said, and hung up the phone. "I'll tell you one thing. If I was gonna massacre a town, that'd be my first step."

The idea of being cut off from the rest of the world in the creepy town giving off bad vibes was definitely not my idea of fun, but I did have _one_ idea. Dean was kind of rustling his hair and it was getting me a little hot and bothered when it shouldn't have been, and I knew we really had to find this guy in Sam's vision but I need to make-out with Dean for just a moment or two first.

"So before we move on," I said, resting my hands on Dean's hips and kissing him, "can I see you in the car?"

Dean smirked at me. "Sam…wanna get us some food?"

Sam sighed at us and rolled his eyes. "Fine, but I'm only giving you two about fifteen minutes."

"It's all I need." I said, beaming at Sam.

"What?" Dean asked disappointed that we weren't going to do what he wanted.

I dragged him to the car and pushed him against it, kissing him softly, running my fingers along his stomach under his shirt. I ran my nails along it for a moment and Dean made a small moaning sound which made me smile and bite his bottom lip softly. He leaned in a little more and reached out to pull my face closer to his, running his tongue along my lips and then smirking a little.

"Screw Sam…let's get a motel room." Dean whispered, kissing me again.

I ran my lips along his and then bit his lower lip again. "You don't know how much I want that, but this is important. I just—I felt the need to jump you and this is the closest I'm going to get to it."

"Lanni…" Dean protested softly when I pouted, and I stopped him by pressing my lips to his because I couldn't think of anything else to do.

He slid his fingers deeper into my hair and kissed me passionately, sliding his tongue into my mouth and I moaned softly as he pulled me closer to him and my hips collided with his. We were definitely both hornier right then and that wasn't good because we really needed to come apart and help Sam with the hunt. Helping to save an innocent was _much_ more important than trying to take Dean in the backseat real fast.

"Do you guys need another moment to exchange saliva?" Sam asked us.

I pulled away from Dean, sucking on his bottom lip a little, and shook my head slowly. Part of me was screaming at me to just blow Sam's question off and open up the back door and push Dean in, but the other part of me knew that I had to do the right thing, and so I took a feeble step back from Dean and tried to regain my composure even though I felt like a liquid puddle of goo…happy, horny goo.

"No…let's go find this guy." I said, and got into the backseat of the car.

Dean stayed paused, leaning against the car for a moment, and then he headed around to the Driver's side, the three of us silent when Dean grunted a little. Then we headed out onto the road and when we got to the Tanners', we knocked on the door and a young boy opened it and Dean stepped in to take control. I was starting to feel a little horny again too because I _loved_ it when Dean stepped up and took control…God I wanted him bad.

"We're looking for Duane Tanner." Dean explained to the teenaged boy…the attractive and _definitely_ jail bait for me, teenaged boy.

"I'm his brother, Jake." The teenager replied. "Duane is not here, he went on a fishing trip up by Roslyn Lake."

Sam nodded at him. "Are your parents home?"

"Yeah, they're inside." Jake replied with a nod.

As he said that, a man came to the door and I smirked at Jake as he smiled at me—so _what_ if he was kind of jail bait? I mean maybe he was actually 18 and legal! I was younger than Sam by a year so it wasn't like hitting on this kid would make me a pedophile or anything…he was hella attractive! Anyway, as Jake and I smiled at each other, Sam spoke up and I was truly grateful because my horny mind was dangerous.

"We're looking for your son, Duane." Sam told him.

Mr. Tanner looked at him. "Why? He's not in trouble, is he?"

"We just need to ask him a couple routine questions. That's all." Dean assured him.

"When is he due back from his trip?" Sam asked him.

"I'm not sure." Mr. Tanner said.

I raised my eyebrows because I getting a vibe from them, and it was _not_ a good one at all. I took a step towards them and smiled my smile, both Jake and Mr. Tanner focusing all attention on me like I'd made too sudden of a movement or something…and yet they were jumpy without physically being jumpy…something was _definitely_ wrong here.

"Well, maybe your wife knows." I offered him.

"No, I don't know. She's not here right now." Mr. Tanner explained.

I raised my eyebrows again. "Oh, well, Jake said she was, but he could have been mistaken. We have a number so you can get a hold of us when Duane gets back, all right?"

I made sure to hand the number to Jake and then when they closed the doors, I started to go around the house and the boys followed me. I took a deep breath when we made it to a window and I nodded when I saw a woman tied to a chair—my feelings were definitely _never_ wrong. Now I just needed to figure out what the Hell was going on here because this was getting a little too weird and deep for my taste.

"Its okay, Mom…it's not gonna hurt." Jake told his mother, who was gagged, tied to a chair and had a wound on her shoulder.

I pushed my sleeves up. "Guys…this is big—cover me."

Dean started to protest my gung ho actions, but when Jake rolled up his sleeve and his father cut his arm, the blood falling onto the woman's wound, I was already in through the window I'd broke. Mr. Tanner came at me with the knife so Dean shot him down, Jake throwing himself out of the window. Sam didn't have the heart to shoot a teenager and his pause allowed Jake to get far enough away that Sam couldn't have made the shot anyway…so Jake managed to escape…damn hot, deranged, jail bait, teen!

xxxx

We parked the car in front of River Grove's medical center and Sam took Mrs. Tanner in while Dean opened up the trunk to get Mr. Tanner's body out. It was sad that we had to kill the guy, but he'd left Dean with no choice and though part of me was flattered because Dean had shot him to save me, part of me thought I could have prevented it. Then again…Dean was pretty shoot first and ask questions later—definitely more than usual, and I couldn't blame him even though it worried the crap out of me.

"Nice to have a gig?" I asked Dean softly.

Dean sighed and shook his head. "Not this time."

He picked up the body that I had wrapped in a blanket, and I followed him in. I had to agree with him because this was definitely not the kind of case that was going to bring him, Sam and me closer together and that was the most annoying part of it to me. Something big and bad was going on and I didn't know how to handle it…or how Sam's vision was actually going to go down anymore…

"Is that…?" The Doctor started to ask.

Dean looked at her. "Mr. Tanner?"

"Was he attacked, too?" The Doctor asked.

"Uh, no, actually, he did the attacking, and then he got himself shot." Dean answered her curtly.

"Shot?" She asked him.

I nodded at her. "Yeah."

"And who are you?" She asked us.

"We're U.S. Marshals." I explained to her, showing her my badge. "He'd show you his but he's carrying a body and not in the position for me to just reach in and grab it out, so…"

She nodded and ushered us into the examination room, Mrs. Tanner completely beside herself because her own husband and her own son had attacked her. I would be pretty shaken up if I were her too…it was a traumatizing experience and yet…I had a feeling she wasn't going to make it out of this. There was a reason that Jake had bled on her…there was a _reason _that their goal was to mix their blood with hers and _not _to kill her…I just didn't know what it was yet.

"Beverly, do you have any idea why they would act this way? Any history of chemical dependency?" The asked her.

Mrs. Tanner shook her head. "No, of course not. I don't know why. One minute, they were my husband and my son, and the next they had the devil in them."

"We've got to talk." Dean told Sam and me, and so we followed him out of the room and into the corridor. "Those guys were whacked out of their gourds."

"What do you think? Multiple demons? Mass possession?" Sam asked us.

I shook my head. "I'm not thinking possession at all to be honest—they didn't feel like actual demons to me. They were whacked out, I agree there, but there's something else going on here because Mr. Tanner is _definitely_ dead and no black smoke came out of him…Jake bled on her…he _had_ to have a reason for that, right?"

"Whatever's going on, _something_ turned him into a monster. You know, if you would have taken out the other one, there would be one less to worry about." Dean told Sam and I blew my bangs out of my face and looked up at the ceiling—_seriously_?

Sam sighed at him. "I'm sorry, alright? I hesitated, Dean. It was a kid."

"No, it was an 'it'. It's not the best time for a bleeding heart, Sam." Dean told him.

I groaned and then looked at them. "Stop it, all right? Jake got away, deal with it, and stop pointing fingers at each other. There is something big going on here and I am _not_ condoning shooting at a teenaged kid, all right? Better he be out there and deranged in case there's potential for a cure, and not lying in here on a slab dead, all right? How's the patient?"

I had stopped to look at the Doctor as she came out to talk to us and the boys were kind of stunned by me. Normally I would just sigh and then tell them to knock it off _maybe_, but lately I had definitely grown some balls. Why? Because they _were_ my family, and no matter what was going on, I was going to keep the three of us together and they were just going to have to deal with that—they could thank me for it later.

"She's terrible—what the hell happened out there?" She asked us.

Dean looked at her. "We don't know."

"Yeah? You just killed my next-door neighbor." She told him.

"We didn't have a choice." Dean replied slowly.

She nodded at him. "Maybe so, but we need the county sheriff—I need the coroner."

"The phones are down." Sam told her.

"I know—I tried. Tell me you've got a police radio in the car." She pleaded with us.

Sam nodded but frowned. "Yeah, we do, but it crapped out just like everything else."

"I don't understand what is happening." The Doctor said dismally.

The fact that things were getting weirder and weirder _and_ we were cut off from everyone else, totally made 'Slasher Movie' pop into my head. I felt like we were all going to start getting picked off one by one, and I was suddenly glad that I was surrounded by blondes because I wanted to live. Still, if it came down to it, I'd probably sacrifice myself for them…'probably' being the key word so I was definitely going to Hell…

"How far is it to the next town?" Dean asked her, the wheels turning in his head.

She turned to him. "It's about 40 miles down to Sidewinder."

"Alright, I'm gonna go down there and see if I can find some help. My partners will stick around and keep you guys safe." Dean said heading for the exit.

"Safe from what?" The Doctor asked.

"We'll get back to you on that." Dean told her, and then I hurried to him before he left and I reached out, grabbing his jacket.

"Hey…" I said softly.

Dean turned around. "Yeah?"

"Please be careful." I whispered lovingly.

He smiled and kissed me softly. "I will be…you too, all right?"

"Of course. I mean, when am I not careful?" I asked with a smile, kissing him again because I really felt like I had to.

Dean chuckled a little, and then I let go of him and waved a little as he took off in his car, going back inside. The doctor was examining a sample of Mr. Tanner's blood under a microscope and I was actually genuinely interested. It made me smile because Sam was interested in it too, and so I stepped up close to them and decided to be part of the conversation and try and do some detective work of my own.

"What?" Sam asked as the doctor made a noise while looking at the blood sample.

She made a face. "His lymphocyte percentage is pretty high. His body was fighting off a viral infection."

"Really? What kind of virus?" Sam asked as I looked at the sample.

"I can't say for sure." She answered.

"Do you think an infection could have made him act like that?" Sam asked.

"None of I've ever heard of. I mean some can cause dementia, but not that kind of violence. And besides, I've never heard of one that did this to the blood." She said.

I nodded and looked at her. "There's sulfur residue…if this is a disease…you don't think that it could be passed through the blood do you? When we found Jake and Mr. Tanner, they were standing over Mrs. Tanner…and they went through a lot of trouble to bleed on her wound…"

The Doctor nodded at me and hurried to talk to Mrs. Tanner about the theory as it all started to come together for me. This was definitely the work of a demon—possibly the Yellow-Eyed one—and I desperately needed to figure out how to stop this. But how did a stop a demon virus?

"Oh, my god. You don't think I've got this virus, do you?" Beverly asked in a scared voice.

The Doctor swallowed. "Beverly, I don't know what to think but with your permission, we'll take a blood sample."

Beverly slowly laid her hand on the doctor's but suddenly, she hit her and then she hit Sam, sending him against the wall. I used a spell to put a force field around her as she went at him with a scalpel in her hand, and after she hit the force field, she decided to come at me. Sam came towards her with a fire extinguisher so I let the force field down, Sam knocking her out and coming straight over to me, then going for the Doctor when I nodded and let him know I was good.

"Are you okay?" I asked the freaked out nurse.

She shook her head. "This is weird."

"I'm Lana." I told her, holding out my hand and trying to be friendly.

"I'm Pam." She replied, smiling a little.

I took a breath. "You seem a little on edge, Pam. Can I help you with anything?"

"I just—I really need to see if my boyfriend's okay." She said, and she was back in freak-out mode.

"Yeah, I wish I knew how my boyfriend was too." I told her with a knowing nod.

Pam looked at me like I was stupid as Sam neared us. "Yes, but mine could be in danger!"

"Hey, hey, hey, wait. Wait, please. Look, I know you're upset, alright? But it's safer if you stay here for now. Help is coming. There they are." He added as we heard the Impala.

"Sammy! Open up!" Dean called to him.

Sam opened it and looked directly at Dean and not the man with him. "Did you guys get to a phone?"

"Roadblock." Dean replied and smiled a little when I held onto his jacket and looked him over worriedly for wounds.

"So you're all right?" I asked him and nodded when he kissed me and said he was fine, all of my attention now being able to be diverted to the big black man with Dean. "I'm Lana."

The man smiled at me when I extended my hand. "Sarge."

"Nice to meet you." I told him.

He nodded at that and I let go of Dean with my other hand, but still felt the need to be close to him at all times. If we were all going to get stuck here and die, then I wanted to be with the men that I loved most in the world and that was that.

"Hey, Sarge, could you go on in there for a moment so that I can talk to my partners?" Dean asked.

Sarge nodded and left the boys and me alone, which was good because the three of us had some definite things to talk over and we all knew it. There was something big going on outside and Dean had definitely _not_ been gone long enough to have gotten into the next town so Sam and I needed to know what was happening beyond these walls. On top of that, Dean needed to know that we were dealing with a demonic virus.

"What's going on out there, Dean?" Sam asked him.

Sam shook his head. "Man, I don't know. I feel like Chuck Heston in 'The Omega Man'. Sarge is the only sane person I could find. What are we dealing with? Do you know?"

"Yeah, Doc thinks it's a virus." Sam said his hands on his hips.

Dean sighed at that. "Okay, great. What do you think?"

"I think she and Lana are right." Sam replied with a nod.

"Really?" Dean asked him. "Wait…Lanni?"

I smiled at him. "It's cute that you sound a little turned on by my possible knowledge of biological things. I think the infected are trying to infect others with blood-to-blood contact. Oh, but it gets better—the virus leaves traces of sulfur in the blood."

"A demonic virus?" Dean asked a little fear in his voice.

"Yeah, more like demonic germ warfare—at least it explains why I've been having visions." Sam said with a sigh.

Dean nodded at him. "It's like a biblical plague."

"Yeah, you don't know how right you are, Dean. I've been pouring through Dad's journal—I found something about the Roanoke colony." Sam explained to him.

"And?" Dean asked impatiently.

"Dad always had a theory about 'Croatoan'. He thought it was a demon's name…sometimes known as Daeva or sometimes as Reshef …a demon of plague and pestilence." Sam explained to him.

Dean groaned loudly. "Well, that's terrific. Why here? Why now?"

"We have no idea, but Sam and I are worried. Who knows how far this thing can spread? We've got to get out of here, and we've got to warn people." I told him.

Sarge called us as Dean took that into account and nodded, so we went back inside and stood face to face with him. He confirmed our fears—Mrs. Tanner was definitely infected and this was definitely some kind of demonic plague. There had to be a reason behind this…there had to be a reason other than some kind of rather entertaining chaos for the demon to be involved in.

"We've got to take care of this." Sarge said assertively. "We can't just leave her in there. My neighbors, they were strong. The longer we wait, the stronger she'll get."

As Sarge said this, Dean grabbed his gun and Pam made a face at them. She was really _not_ on board with any of this and I was trying really hard not to feel weak suddenly. I was Alana Meckenzie, and I was a hunter…so why the Hell was I starting to feel so helpless and so distraught? Innocent people were dying, sure, but I knew that this had to be done before more people were infected and yet I was still tensing up.

"You're gonna kill Beverly Tanner?" Pam asked them suddenly.

Sam looked at the Doctor. "Doctor, could there be any treatment? Some kind of cure for this?"

"Can you cure it?" Dean insisted, not wanting to shoot Mrs. Tanner either.

"For God's sake, I don't even know what 'it' is." She answered.

Sarge intervened as everyone looked around at each other. "I told you, it's a matter of time before she breaks through."

"Just leave her in there. You can't shoot her like an animal." Pam told us.

But Sam and Dean went towards the door even after she'd said that, and I took a seat on the floor. This wasn't the way I wanted to spend my time—I didn't want to shoot her. I didn't want to kill people that had this demon virus—there had to be a cure…there just had to be. I hurried to the microscope and looked at the sample, but I soon heard a gunshot…it was times like this that I just needed Jen.

I looked up as Dean came over to me and took a breath, stepping closer to me as I stood up and tried to face him. He opened his mouth to say something but then shut it again, and I just nodded and tried not to be so sad, but I hated jobs like this—the ones where I felt attached, conflicted and helpless. To top it off, I was missing Jen so much, and if this was the end, then I wanted to be in contact with her.

Just this morning on the way, Jen had told me that Kaydence was already holding her head up on her own and I was so glad that Jen had her newborn daughters. Jen was getting to spend this time with her family, and she was probably worried sick that now Sam, Dean and me were _completely _cut off from her. She would know something was wrong, but she wouldn't know what, and she wouldn't know where to begin to make anything better…I wanted Jen.

"How do you do this?" I asked as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. "I try to be as strong as you, but I just can't seem to do it."

Dean brushed his lips across my forehead in thought. "It's hard, but I know it has to be done."

"I wish I had your bravery." I responded, and then looked up into his eyes and smiled a little. "Did I tell you that Kaydence is holding her head up on her own already?"

"Yeah, you were gushing about it earlier—you think Minah's going to be the first one to walk though, right?" Dean asked me, knowing I needed the mood lightened.

I nodded at him and pulled him closer to me as he wiped a couple of fallen tears off of my cheeks—he knew me so well. How there could _ever_ be a doubt in my mind as to where I belonged I would never know…I belonged with Dean. It was in everything he said to me…in the way that he spoke to me…in the way that he held me…comforted me…protected me…_loved_ me. I loved Dean Winchester with all of my heart.

"You need to get your weapons ready. If we have to kill more of them, we need to be ready for it." I told him slowly.

Dean nodded in agreement. "All right, but promise me you'll keep trying to find a cure."

I kissed him softly my lips brushing across his as I spoke next, our eyes locked. "I promise."

xxxx

A little while later, I was hitting dead end after dead end and it was driving me absolutely crazy because I couldn't find anything. We had no idea what we were dealing with or how to stop it, but one thing was for sure: this was big and it was bad and we needed to be ready to fight for our lives. We all looked up as we heard the sound of broken glass, but it was just Pam breaking some tubes containing blood in them…yeah cause _that_ was a good sign…I was starting to think that God hated me.

"Why are we staying here?" Pam asked us. "Can't we leave?"

Dean shook his head. "They're everywhere."

"She's right about one thing: we can't stay here. We've got to get out of here, get to the Roadhouse—somewhere—let people know what's coming." Sam explained.

"Yeah, that's a good point. 'Night of the living dead' didn't exactly end pretty." Dean told us and smiled at me when I got the reference and nodded in agreement, trying not to laugh too hard.

"I'm not sure we've got the choice." Sarge intervened. "Lots of folks up here are good with rifles. Even with all your hardware, we're easy targets. So, unless you've got some explosives…"

"We could make some." Sam retorted after seeing the chemical products on the shelf.

Suddenly, somebody knocked on the door and asked to be let in and I swallowed—another sign that could _not_ be good. Sarge recognized the voice as that of Duane Tanner and opened it to him, Dean starting to shift rather uncomfortably and I nodded slowly as Sam's eyes went wide—Sam recognized him which meant only one thing…

"That's the guy that I..." Dean asked Sam who nodded.

"Duane, where you been?" Sarge asked him.

"I was on a fishing trip up by Roslyn—I came back this afternoon. I saw Roger McGill being dragged out of his house by people we know. They started cutting him with knives. I ran. I've been hiding in the woods ever since. Has anybody seen my mom and dad?" Duane asked aloud.

"Awkward." Dean whispered to us.

"You're bleeding?" The Doctor asked noticing the cut on Duane's leg.

Dean went alert and looked at him. "Where did you get that?"

"I was running…I must have tripped." Duane answered him.

"Tie him up—there's rope in there." Dean told Sarge.

"Wait." Duane protested.

"Sit down!" Dean ordered Duane, taking aim at him.

I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to remind myself that we didn't know what was going on here and we had to be on the safe side. If Duane _was_ infected, the rest of us were in danger, but if he really _had_ just tripped and gotten scratched than we were fine. Still…I didn't like the vibes that I was getting off of him…he seemed vaguely familiar to me even though I knew I didn't _know_ him and it was definitely annoying me.

"Sorry, Duane…he's right. We've got to be careful." Sarge explained to him, and I could tell he was upset to have to do this to him.

Duane was confused. "Careful? About what?"

"Did they bleed on you?" Dean questioned him.

"No. What the hell? No!" Duane cried, suddenly much more scared than he had been.

"Doc, any way to know for sure? Any test?" Sam asked her.

She looked at him. "I've studied Beverly's blood work backwards and forwards with Lana."

"My mom?" Duane asked as I opened my eyes and took a breath.

"It took three hours for the virus to incubate." The Doctor added. "Sulfur didn't appear in the blood until then, so, no…there'd be no way of knowing. Not until after Duane...turns."

I swallowed before I spoke up. "Unfortunately, I can't think of anything else to do about it…we're going to have to wait this out…keep him restrained."

"Dean, I've got to talk to you…_now_." Sam said, and I followed them out of the room as Sarge was about to tie up Duane. "This is my vision, Dean. It's happening."

"Yeah, I figured." Dean replied curtly.

"You can't kill him, alright? Not yet. We don't know if he's infected or not." Sam told him.

Dean gave Sam a look. "Oh, I think we're pretty damn sure. Guy shows up out of nowhere, got a cut on his leg. His whole family is infected."

"Alright then we should keep him tied up, and we should wait and see." I suggested, because I didn't want to kill Duane anymore than Sam did.

"For what? For him to hulk out, infect somebody else? No, thanks—can't take that chance. Hey look, guys, I'm not happy about this, ok? But it's a tough job, and you know that." Dean told us firmly.

I bit my lip and Sam and I exchanged looks as we took in what Dean said—we got it, we did, but this just didn't feel right. I mean I was having bad vibes about the guy, but not all of my bad vibes meant people had to die…just meant that people were involved. If Duane _wasn't_ infected—and there was _still_ a chance that he wasn't—there was still something dark about him and I needed to figure out what that was too.

"It's supposed to be tough, Dean. We're supposed to struggle with this, that's the whole point." I told him sadly with a sigh.

Dean turned to me. "What does that buy us?"

"A clear conscience, for one." Sam replied and he and Dean made eye contact.

"It's too late for that." Dean informed him.

"What the hell has happened to you?" Sam asked him as I went to put my face in my hands.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"You might kill an innocent man, and you don't even care. You don't act like yourself anymore, Dean. Hell, you know what? You're acting like one of those things out there." Sam told him and Dean threw him out of the way and left the room, locking the door behind him, Sam pounding on it as I felt the urge to cry again.

"Hey! Open the damn door. Dean! Don't do it, Dean! Don't!" Sam cried out to him.

I looked at Sam and I sighed, leaning against him for support as all of the information ran through my head. Demonic virus…whacked out civilians…blood to blood transfer…it was like starting a war…it was like the beginning of the end. Now Dean could potentially kill a man that wasn't infected at all, and it was going to be on his conscience if he went through with it.

"Maybe what you said got through to him." I told Sam hopefully.

Sam rested his head on mine. "Maybe it's what drove him to kill Duane in the first place."

I bit my lip and put one of my arms around Sam, him kissing the top of my head and then we both looked up when Dean came out. There had been no gunshot—he hadn't shot Duane and I was proud of him…Sam had gotten through to him. He didn't seem to want to talk about it though, he just had Sam and I help him with making explosives so we could survive a battle, and then I started to sense something…something was wrong.

"It's been over four hours. Duane's blood is still clean. I don't think he's infected…I'd like to untie him, if that's alright." She asked us.

"Sure. Yeah." Sam answered, and she left with a nod. "You know I'm gonna ask you why."

Dean nodded at him as I looked at them. "Yeah, I know."

"So, why? Why didn't you do it?" Sam asked him as I smiled a little—good ol' Sammy.

"We need more alcohol." Dean answered changing the subject.

I looked up as I heard a click, and frowned since the door had obviously been locked and it all clicked—that blood thing before had _definitely_ been a bad sign. Pan as clumsy enough to have cut herself with one of the broken tubes and never told anyone, and now she was on one side of the door with Sam, and Dean and I were on the other. I was suddenly feeling panicked and _very _scared, and all I wanted was my Sammy—why was this all happening to us _now_?

We heard the scuffle on the other side of the door and Dean went to kick it down, getting into the room and killing Pam. It was just a reflex for him too—she'd attacked Sam, and now she was paying with her blood. Hell even _I_ wasn't flinching at it…that in itself was a little disconcerting for me, but then again I knew that if I was faced with it as an option, I would kill for Sam and Dean in a heartbeat. Dean went to help Sam to stand, but Sarge got in his way and I glared at him—oh Hell no!

"She bled on him. He's got the virus." Sarge warned us.

I looked at Sam painfully. "No…no…"

We all crowded around Sam as we got him to sit on the exam table, and Dean was riled up—this was his brother. Hell, _I_ was feeling riled up too because I could _not_ lose Sam! When I had asked for a hunt to bring the three of us closer together, I hadn't meant to brings us closer together because we knew it was the end! I hadn't even told them about my father, or about what I was looking for to kill Chelsea with…

"Doctor, check his wound again, would you?" Dean asked her and then got a little hostile when she paused. "Doctor!"

Sarge stepped in. "What does she need to examine him for? You saw what happened."

"Did her blood actually enter your wound?" The Doctor asked Sam.

"Come on, of course it did!" Sarge shouted at them.

"We don't know that for sure." Dean retorted with a nasty look thrown Sarge's way.

"We can't take a chance." Duane intervened and I swear Dean's eyes looked dangerous now as everyone started to talk to him about it all.

Sarge nodded in agreement with Duane. "You know what we have to do."

"Nobody is shooting my brother." Dean said strongly.

"He's not gonna be your brother much longer, you said it yourself." Duane told him.

Dean shook his head firmly. "Nobody's shooting anyone."

"You were gonna shoot me!" Duane reminded him.

"You shut your pie hole or I still might." Dean told him.

I waved my hands around. "All right, just everybody calm the fuck down!"

"Dean, they're right. I'm infected. Just give me the gun, and I'll do it myself." Sam told him.

"Forget it." I answered and everyone looked at me again. "We're not letting that happen and I think you know me well enough to know what happens when I've set my mind to something. Now if you'd all just shut the fuck up so I could think and figure out how to get us _all_ out of this alive, I would be incredibly appreciative, all right?"

Dean smiled at me a little for being on his side, but at the same time I knew he wasn't really up to smiling. Everyone was against us because they didn't want Sam to turn and kill us all, and I knew we couldn't blame them, but at the same time there was no way in _Hell_ that we killing Sam. We were _all_ going to get out of this and if I could possibly figure out some kind of 'witchy' way to get us out, then even better.

"She's right." Dean agreed with a nod.

Sam shook his head. "Dean, I'm not gonna become one of those things."

"Sam, we've still got some time." Dean told him.

"Time for what?" Sarge asked out loud. "Look, I understand he's your brother, and I'm sorry, I am, but I've got to take care of this."

"I'm gonna say this one time. You make a move on him, you'll be dead before you hit the ground. You understand me? Do I make myself clear?" Dean asked, scared and angry all at once.

"Dean!" Sam chastised.

I shook my head. "No, Sam…I agree with Dean this time. I swear to God if you're opening your mouth to shout at me Sarge, you're going to be in a whole world of hurt in a minute." I told him and he shut his mouth, his eyes blazing into mine as I continued to speak. "All of you need to get the Hell out of here. If Sam is going to die here…then Dean and I are staying behind."

"Take my car." Dean added. "You've got the explosives. There's an arsenal in there. You two go with him. You got enough firepower to handle anything now."

"Dean, Lana…no. No, go _with_ them. This is your only chance…Lan you can't give up like this." Sam pleaded with me. "Dean…Dean you can't do this."

Dean smiled at him sadly. "You're not gonna get rid of me that easy."

"Me neither." I added, nodding to show him that I was _not_ leaving without him.

"Lana…go." Dean said suddenly.

I looked at him suddenly and I found my mouth going dry—had he _seriously_ just said that to me? There was _no_ way in Hell I was leaving him and Sam here to die! I was standing by them no matter what—it was like they didn't even know me. They were my boys, and if they were going to die here, then I was going to die here whether that was selfish of me or not.

"No." I told him, shaking my head firmly. "There's no way in Hell that I'm leaving."

Dean gave me a look. "I do _not_ want you here for this."

"I don't care." I told him slowly. "I am _not_ leaving you two."

"Leave!" Dean yelled, and the moment our eyes met, I could see the pain in them.

I was in love with him, and I knew he was in love with me and he was just trying to do what he thought was best for me, but this wasn't what I wanted. Of course I didn't want Sam to die, but I definitely didn't want to leave Sam and Dean to die…I _had_ to be with them in the end. I couldn't leave them now…I couldn't leave them _ever_.

"Don't tell me to leave again!" I told him firmly, taking a step towards him. "This is not your decision, this is _mine_! If you two are going to stay here and meet your fate, then so am I!"

Dean sighed loudly. "Damn-it Lana, what about Jen?"

"Jen can get along without me. She and Kevin have each other…she and Kevin have Kaydence and Minah." I told him with a shrug. "She has her family, and she can get along without me."

"You're being selfish!" Dean roared.

"So are you, you stupid bastard!" I exclaimed.

Dean whirled on me. "Lanni, I won't let you do this."

I hated that he thought that he could seriously order me out of here, and my eyes went from his to Sam's, and Sam's traveled from mine to looking at Dean. There was something else behind all of this…there was another reason for Dean to want to just up and quit like this. Didn't we have other options? We _had _to have other options!

"What's wrong, Dean? What's _really_ wrong?" Sam asked him.

Dean sighed and looked at me, gently taking me by the face and looking me in the eye. "I want you to _live_, Lanni. I want you to go out there all right, and go with them. I love you, and I want you to move on with your life if it comes down to me leaving—Baby, I can't be the reason that you get killed."

"Dean, I can't live without you." I told him, the tears coming as he poured his heart out to me in front of everyone. "Damn-it, you selfish Bastard, I love you. I'm not walking out those doors to try and live without you when I don't have to."

"As touching as that is, Lana, he's right." Sarge explained to me. "Come with us."

I kept my eyes on Dean's and shook my head, trying to ignore the pain that crossed Dean's beautiful hazel irises. It was hurting him that he couldn't force me to save myself, but at the same time I knew that he loved me…knew that this was who I was, and he still loved me even though I wasn't listening to him. He would still love me if I left with Sarge, Duane and the Doctor, but I wasn't going to do that…it would go against everything and Dean knew I was standing by my decision just as he was standing by his.

"I'm staying with them." I told him.

"Okay, it's your funeral." Sarge said sadly and he nodded at me when Dean let go of me and I finally looked over at the three of them by the door.

The Doctor smiled at us softly. "I'm sorry…thanks for everything, Marshals."

"Oh, actually, we're not really marshals." Dean answered and he locked the door behind her. "I wish we had a deck of cards or a foosball table or something." He said once we were alone in the room.

"Dean, don't do this. Just get the hell out of here, and take Lan with you." Sam told him.

Dean shook his head. "No way—you heard us, Sammy…you're stuck with us."

"Give me my gun and leave." Sam told him firmly.

"For the last time, Sam, no." I said, walking over to him and taking his hand. "We're staying with you and you have to get over that."

Sam sighed loudly. "This is the dumbest thing you've ever done—either of you."

"I don't know about that…remember that waitress in Tampa?" Dean asked him and grunted when I elbowed him softly.

"And for me, I mean, there was getting Chelsea turned." I added, kissing Sam's hand absent-mindedly.

"Dean, I'm sick. It's over for me…it doesn't have to be for you and Lan." Sam explained to us. "You guys can keep going…keep fighting…Hell you two can settle down if you want to and I wouldn't be around to stop you."

I looked at him. "Don't you _dare_ try to make yourself sound like hindrance, Samuel Winchester."

Dean swallowed down the lump in his throat at the pain in my voice and then looked at Sam as Sam looked at me and made eye contact. I couldn't lose Sam like this…not like this…and I definitely couldn't lost him like this _and_ have to hear him make himself out to be a reason why Dean and I weren't settled. Dean didn't _want_ to be settled and I respected that…and I was vowing right then to _never_ let Sam be the third wheel again.

"I'm tired, Sam. I'm tired of this job...this life...this weight on my shoulders, Man, I'm tired of it." Dean explained to him.

I nodded at that. "It's gotten to be just that much more tiring as the days have gone on."

"So, what? So, you're just gonna give up? I mean, you're just gonna lay down and die? Lan, you have a whole other life to go to." Sam tried, turning to me again. "Damn-it."

I smiled a sad smile. "Sammy, I've lived that life. Jenny is happy—she has Kevin, and she has her girls, and without me, her life is even _more _demon-free. You know what else? In _my_ moment of need, I found you two…and I can't live without you guys, and I don't want too. You really have to just accept that if this is the end…I want to be with the two of you…I want to go out _with_ the two of you."

"Look, Dean, I know this stuff with Dad had…" Sam began, knowing he wasn't going to talk me out of it now…but he still thought he could talk _Dean_ out of it.

Dean shook his head. "You're wrong. It's not about Dad. I mean, part of it is, sure…"

"Then, what is it about?" Sam asked him but there was a knock on the door and I reached out and opened it.

"You'd better come see this." The Doctor said.

Sam, Dean and I exchanged looks but followed her, and when we got outside, we found that the whole place was deserted and it seemed that everyone had disappeared. Duane, Sarge and the Doctor were in no immediate danger anymore, so we all stayed around for a few more hours and then the Doctor looked at Sam after looking at his blood samples. Her face was definitely miffed, but it was good news and I let out a sigh of relief right before she even _gave_ us the good news.

"Well, it's been five hours and your blood's still clean. I don't understand it, but I think you dodged a bullet." She explained to him.

Sam made a face. "But I was exposed. How could I not be infected?"

"I don't know, but you're just not. I mean, when you compare it with the Tanner samples…what the hell?" She asked aloud.

"What?" Sam answered her.

"Their blood…there's no trace of the virus. No sulfur…nothing." She replied and I went to look over the samples too and she was right…it was like this had never even happened except for the dead and the completely deserted town.

So we all hung around for a while and then the next morning, Sarge and Duane were going to leave town and offered for the Doctor to go with them, but she wanted to warn Sidewinder and the authorities. It seemed like everything that had happened here had somehow been erased, but at the same time none of us were going to be able to erase this from our minds…and Duane still felt off to me…what if Sarge was in danger?

"What about him?" Dean asked the Doctor, pointing to Sam.

She smiled at him. "He's gonna be fine. No signs of infection."

"Hey, man, don't look at me. I've got no clue." Sam said as we went to the car and looked at each other, leaving the others behind…me still glancing over at Sarge and Duane until they drove off.

"I swear, I'm gonna lose sleep over this one. I mean, why here? Why now? Where the hell did everybody go? It's not like they just freaking melted." Dean told us and I nodded.

Sam nodded too and then swallowed. "Why was I immune?"

"Yeah, you know what? That's a good question. You know, I'm already starting to feel like this is the one that got away." Dean answered, and then we got into the car and left town and all I could think about was Sam and the virus.

I knew why _I_ would have been immune but _Sam_ was immune. Did it have something to do with him being psychic? What did him being psychic mean? I put my headphones in my ears as we headed out of town and thanked God that I hadn't had a chance to potentially become infected…my father was a demon, which made me half demon and because of that…I was immune to a whole damn lot.

**Note: So that was intense and kind of revealing for Lana without her saying anything out loud…you guys are smart. Before it's all completely revealed I'm sure you'll figure out what the darkest part of her past is. Side note: 26 pages! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	29. HD NOTE

**NOTE:**

**Okay, so I've wanted to have companion pieces to this story for a **_**long**_** time.**

**I'm always coming up with ideas for this story, and lots of them take place in the past.**

**There's some of what Jen and Kevin do while Lana, Sam and Dean are on hunts (which is more the present), and there's things from Jen's and Lana's past.**

**So there's a "New Story" called, "Hunting Demons: The Untold Chapters" that you guys should check out.**

**Each chapter tells you when it takes place and it doesn't go in order—it's just other pieces of the puzzle and it tells you what it is before you start so it doesn't get too confusing, I promise.**

**ENJOY!!**

**Kyla AKA PyroQueenOfFire**


	30. Finally On the Same Page

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay, here is the next chapter, and I hope you guys like it!**

**It's kind of…it leads up to some foreshadowing, so pay attention.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

After getting some sleep at the motel, the boys offered a beer and a look at the lake, and I nodded. It was about time the three of us just kind of hung out and looked out at the lake, and I knew that something was going to ruin our moments together, but for now, we were all pretty all right. There was still talking about what had happened on our plates, and I knew Sam would want to discuss it…okay…I was looking less and less forward to this outing by the minute.

"It's beautiful out here, isn't it?" I asked them, leaning on the railing by the lake and sipping my beer.

Sam and Dean nodded slowly, standing next to me—Dean in the middle—and taking sips of their beer too. The Impala was close to us and when I looked back at the boys I knew our talk was about to begin and I still hadn't even called Jen. I needed to check in with her, Kevin and the girls, and I needed to come clean to Sam and Dean about _everything_…everything was starting to get a little bit darker.

"So, last night…you want to tell me what the hell you were talking about?" Sam asked Dean and me.

"What do you mean?" Dean replied, sipping his beer.

Sam wasn't impressed. "What do I mean? I mean, you said you were tired of the job and that it wasn't just because of Dad…and you gave up."

I opened my mouth to say something, but then shut it and slowly sipped my beer again when he had added the last part and looked directly at _me_. Dean and I _had_ pretty much given up and I needed to explain about my demonic ties…I needed to tell them about Chelsea and what I needed to do to kill here—which I still didn't know myself. Before I could start off though, Dean had already taken over the conversation…mostly.

Dean looked at him. "Forget it."

Sam shook his head. "No, I can't—no way."

"Oh man, I thought we were all gonna die. You can't hold that over me." Dean told him with a shrug.

"No, no, no, no. You can't pull that crap with me, man. You're talking—you both are." Sam said and I knew he wasn't backing down from this.

"And what if I don't?" Dean asked.

Sam looked at him. "Then I guess I'll just have to keep asking until you do."

"I don't know, man. I just think maybe we ought to...go to the Grand Canyon." Dean suggested and I turned to him.

"What?" Sam and I asked.

I knew that Dean was telling the truth when he was saying he was tired of hunting—Hell, I'd been there a time or two—but something _else_ was bringing this on. Dean wouldn't be saying these things if something wasn't bothering him and I suddenly felt a little upset…why hadn't he talked to _me_ about what was bothering him? Then again…my keeping secrets had probably proved to him that he didn't _have_ to tell me anything…and I couldn't fault him for keeping things to himself when I was still hoarding two _incredibly_ big secrets of my own.

"Yeah! You know all this driving back and forth across the country…do you know I've never been to the Grand Canyon? Or we could go to T.J. or Hollywood, see if we could bang Lindsay Lohan." Dean suggested and immediately he reached his hand out for mine.

"Gag me." I said as Dean rested his hand on mine to reassure me that he was just trying to get us to go on a vacation—thank God…there were _much_ better actresses to bang than Lindsay Lohan…like Sophia Bush or Kate Beckinsale—even _I_ would go for Kate Beckinsale.

"You're not making any sense." Sam pointed out.

"I just say we should take a break from all this. Why do we got to get stuck with all the responsibility, you know? Why can't we live life a little bit?" Dean asked with a shrug.

Sam was confused. "Why are you saying all this? No, no, no, no, no, Dean. You're my brother, alright? So, whatever weight you're carrying, let me help a little bit."

"I can't. I promised." Dean said softly.

"Who?" I asked him, squeezing his hand.

Dean took a breath. "Dad."

It was then that I was pretty certain that even though Dean had said that John hadn't told him anything before he died, Dean had lied. John had told Dean something and whatever he had told him was really weighing heavily on Dean. Now he couldn't take it anymore, and he was trying to hide behind other things so he wouldn't have to talk about it—but Dean really needed to talk about it and that was that.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked him in a slightly scared voice.

Dean swallowed and squeezed my hand. "Right before Dad died...he told me something—something about you."

"What?" Sam asked him and continued when a pause followed and Dean said nothing. "Dean, what did he tell you?"

"He said that he…that he wanted me to watch out for you. Take care of you." Dean explained to him.

Sam smiled a little like he was relieved. "He's told you that a million times."

"Yeah, Baby—he told me to take of you two as well." I added with a smile, running my thumb along his hand.

"Nah, this time it was different." Dean told Sam and me, shaking his head. "He said that I had…that I had to save you."

Sam took a breath. "Save me from what?"

"He just said that I had to save you." Dean explained, slightly frazzled. "And if I couldn't I'd have to…"

"Have to what, Dean?" Sam asked as I squeezed Dean's hand because he was hurt and it visibly showed.

Dean looked like he was really having a lot of trouble trying to get the words out, and I swallowed because he looked so pained. What could John have _possibly_ had to say to Dean that would have him _this_ broken-hearted? Why did I suddenly feel liked things were about to get _really_ ugly?

"I'd have to kill you." Dean said, and he started to get even sadder. "He said that I might have to kill you, Sammy."

"Kill me?" Sam asked, and we were all suddenly faced with almost crying. "What the Hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know." Dean admitted, as Sam got hysterical.

"I mean he must have had some kind of reason for saying it, right? Did he know the demon's plans for me? Am I supposed to go Dark side? What else did he tell you, Dean?" He asked hostilely.

"Nothing, that's it—I swear." Dean replied and I took a breath.

This was just the thing that the three of us needed to add to our pile of drama—note my sarcasm. Everything definitely _was_ getting darker, and if we were going to get through this, then we had to do it together. There was just no other way to do this…we _had_ to have each other's backs, and there was just no other way to do it.

"How could you not have told me this?" Sam yelled at him.

Dean took a breath. "Because it was Dad, and he begged me not to."

"Who cares? Take some responsibility for yourself Dean! You had no right to keep this from me!" Sam screamed, getting in Dean's face.

I let go of Dean's hand and ran my fingers through my hair, blowing air out of my mouth and resting my hands on the railing. How could John have said something like that about Sam? How could he have said something like that and left Dean to hold it on his shoulders like that? What was John thinking?

"You think I wanted this?" Dean asked angrily. "Huh? I wish to God he'd never opened his mouth! Then I wouldn't have to walk around with this screaming in my head all day!"

"We just gotta figure this all out then. Figure out what the Hell it all means." Sam said, having walked away from us a little, and Dean looked out over the water with me.

"We do? I've been thinking about this. I think we should just lay low. You know? At least for a while. It'd be safer." Dean suggested. "And that way I could make sure that…"

"What? That I don't turn evil? That I don't turn into some kind of killer?" Sam asked.

I looked directly at Sam. "He never said that, Sammy."

"Geeze, if you're not careful, Dean, you _will_ have to waste me one day!" Sam cried and I knew he was hurting too.

"I never said that! Damn-it, Sam! This whole thing is spinning out of control! All right? You're immune to some weirdo demon virus, and I don't even know what the Hell anymore." Dean retorted loudly. "And you're pissed at me. I get it. That's fine, I deserve it, but we lay low until we figure out our next move, okay?"

"Forget it." Sam said, chugging some beer.

"Sam, please, man." Dean told him, touching his arm. "Hey! Please. Just give me some time. Give me some time to think, man. Please. Please."

Sam nodded, and we all went back to the motel and then Sam went straight to bed. I snuggled up with Dean and smiled as he stroked my hair as I listened to his heartbeat, resting my head on his chest. It was nice to lay there with him like that, but at the same time, I was kind of worried because there was something else on his mind and I wasn't sure what was going on completely yet.

"You could have told me that stuff." I whispered to him, running my fingers along his shirt. "I could have helped to take some of the load off."

Dean shook his head. "It wouldn't have been right to burden you with it before I had even thought of telling Sam."

I kissed his shirted chest and looked up at him, kissing his chest again and trying to let him know that I was there for him. Mostly I just wanted Dean to confide in me, but I couldn't expect that when I hadn't confided all of my secrets in him either. It was one of those moments when I just wanted to make everything better, but I didn't know how to.

"Hey…look at me." I said, and Dean slowly looked at me as I got up on my arm a bit. "Sammy isn't just going to go evil. I know that I haven't really been the 'poster child' for honesty, but you can tell me anything…and I can tell _you_ anything…I think that's what scares me. I mean on the one hand I know that you'll stand by me, but on the other hand I feel like the more you know about me, the more you're going to question everything and I know that's not fair to you, and I'm sorry."

Dean stroked my hair and then ran his fingers along my arms. "Lanni, you gotta talk things out with me, all right?"

"Yeah…I know…but you gotta do the same with me." I told him and then took a breath. "Your Dad said something about _me_…didn't he? It wasn't _just_ about Sam, was it?"

"No." Dean admitted and then closed his eyes. "He's worried about you…he's worried about you double-crossing Sam and I, but I don't know why."

I nodded at him. "Well I do."

I opened my mouth to finally come clean about my real father, but Dean kissed me and I had a feeling that this was going to be harder than I thought. Dean knew that I wanted to come clean about things, but after the fight with Sam, he wanted to shut down on feelings for a while. I really couldn't blame him, but bit my lip when he pulled back and looked at me with serious eyes.

"Promise me that you'll never just up and leave me, Lanni." He said as he ran his fingers through my hair and looked me in the eye.

I smiled at him and nodded. "I promise, Dean, that you're completely and utterly stuck with me no matter what."

"Good." Dean told me genuinely, cupping my face and stroking my cheek. "I'm kind of glad you're here."

"Just kind of?" I asked him back, kissing him softly. "I'm kind of glad you're here with me too, for the record."

I kissed him one more time, and then smiled when I rested my head on his chest again, and he held me close to him. We both fell asleep rather peacefully in each other's arms, and I woke up first the next morning, no Sam in sight. I smiled a little, hoping that this meant maybe he was at breakfast, and that gave Dean and me maybe an hour and a half….but only if we played our cards right.

"Dean…" I whispered, kissing him softly as he slept. "Wake up and play with me."

Dean turned over, facing away from me, and so I pressed my body up against his backside, and ran my hands along his body. He was awake, and yet not awake at the same time, and the last time we were both awake and in a motel room like this, we hadn't gotten to get anywhere. Still, Sam was gone, so it wasn't like we'd be trying to go at it with him only a couple of feet away from us—so this was a win this time.

"You know anything fun we can do in an hour by ourselves?" I asked in a whisper, kissing his back through his shirt and then nipping at him with my teeth playfully.

"By ourselves?" Dean asked, suddenly alert.

I laughed and nodded. "Completely and utterly alone."

Dean turned over and I smiled as he did, laughing a little more because just the prospect of sex had his eyes all a-twinkle. I adored the man lying next to me, and we definitely needed to get a move on if we were going to get this done. That wasn't really romantic, but at the same time, I honestly didn't know how long Sam had been gone already, which would definitely affect when he came back.

"Morning." He told me, stroking my hair.

I smiled at him. "Morning."

"So…" Dean began, trailing off and leaning in.

"I was thinking—" I began with a playful look on my face, but his lips were suddenly on mine and I decided to just stop talking for once—hard for me, but needing to be done.

I let Dean control this step, allowing him to climb on top of me and deepen the kiss as he stroked my hair, resting his body against mine. It was so much more caring and meaningful than the others, and as he moved the material of my nightgown up my legs slowly, I made a happy surprised noise, and he left a trail of kisses down to my neck, sucking on it, and then his mouth traveled down to my sternum, and he sucked there too, making me moan slightly. I just wanted him to be close to me, and I was glad that I had had him…I was glad that no matter what happened, we seemed to find our way to each other and we were content there.

"I love you." I whispered to him.

Dean smiled, and kissed my lips softly to signal he felt the same way, and then the tip of my tongue touched his lips and he smiled and parted his lips for me and my tongue explored his mouth before retreating back to my own. But before it got all the way back, Dean ran the tip of his along mine and then his retreated back to his own mouth. We made out for another minute or two without our tongues, and pulled away breathless. I smiled and then Dean ran his hands along my back and slowly began to slide his hand up my nightgown bodice and kissed me softly again.

We sat up a little as I removed his shirt, and then he slowly laid me down on the bed, and climbed on top of me. He kissed me softly, and then kissed my neck again, and began to suck on the same spot that he had before. Then he slowly began to slide my nightgown up and off of me, and we made eye contact, him running his nose along mine before his hand was on the move again, only this time it slide down between my legs and I bit my lips instead of gasping when I felt his fingers.

"Someone's acting all tough about her want." Dean said in a pretty sing-song voice, a smirk on his face.

I rolled my eyes as best as I could. "Someone's thinking a little too highly of himself."

"I think you know you want this." Dean retorted with a wink.

I just bit my lip, but I made a noise when his fingers increased in tempo and soon just gave in and made the noises that he wanted me to make, and he made some of his own. Sex was just one of the other things that bonded us together, and afterwards we just lay there kissing one another and stroking each other's bare, damp skin. I nuzzled my nose against him and kissed his peck. Looking up at him as he ran his fingers through my hair and held me close.

"What do you want to do today?" I asked him softly.

He kissed me lovingly. "Just lie here."

"That can be done." I told him, kissing him again.

I knew that we _couldn't_ just lie there forever, but it was nice to know that he just wanted to be close to me. There were still things we needed to talk about, but for a while we just held each other close and stroked each others skin, and each other's hair, no words needed. We just needed each other and we were content enough with each other that we could just lay there under the covers with each other even though we knew our moment had to end eventually. I nuzzled his skin and then looked up at him again when he took a breath, and I knew he was going to say what we had _both_ been thinking.

"Do you think we should get dressed before Sam gets back?" Dean asked me.

I sighed and rested my forehead against his. "I guess so."

Dean nodded and kissed me tenderly, the two of us getting up and after a quick shower together, we got dressed. We weren't really hungry yet, so we just lay back down on the bed and cuddled some more, Dean kissing the top of my head. I reached out and I held his hand up to my face, kissing his fingers and then shaking my head as he started to tickle me because he knew all of my spots.

We were alone, but at the same time, if Sam walked in, Dean didn't want him to walk in on anything mushy. I had simply wanted to show him that I loved him and that I was glad to be so close to him these days, but I understood him. Laughing, I pushed on his chest and shot him a look when he pinned my hands above my head to the bed by my wrists, leaning down and giving me a rather stern look.

"You need to keep the touching to yourself." He told me.

I laughed and shrugged as much as I could. "Sorry, I can't promise that."

"We don't have time for another go." He replied immediately. "You're killing me."

"I'm seriously turning you on right now _that_ much? I am _so_ not reading you right at the moment." I laughed, and deliberately moved under him, pushing my hips up against him. "Oh, I'm sorry, is that _touching_?"

Dean tightened his grip on my wrists and grunted. "Woman, I'm _serious_."

"Sorry…it just felt…_good_." I said, doing it again and smirking as his handle on my wrists tightened just a little more.

There was a little bit of lust in his eyes and he got off of me after a pause, and I pouted but he didn't look at me, he just sat up on the edge of the bed and I got up behind him and started to rub his shoulders. He was a little tense about it at first, but then I whispered that I was sorry, I was just horny, and he let me apologize by rubbing his shoulders and his back. Then when Sam didn't show up, we tried calling him, but we couldn't get a hold of him, and so we got in the car and started driving since we found a note from him that said he was taking off—and that was it. We sat in the car, and I took Dean's hand as he freaked out a little, his whole body tensed up and afraid.

"He's probably fine." I told him, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "He's just processing and he thinks he has to do that on his own for the moment."

Dean sighed as he nodded. "I promised, Lanni."

"And you'll keep your promise." I told him, kissing his hand and looking at him.

He smiled a little at me, and then his cell phone went off, and I looked at the cover and answered it since he was driving. It wasn't that he cared, but at the same time, I knew that if Ellen was going to talk to anyone about this, it was going to be me. She would have obliged Dean for his brother, but at the same time, she and I had an understanding and that was just the way that it was.

"Ellen, hey! Have you heard from Sam?" I asked her.

She took a breath. "He wanted to be on his own."

"Ellen, please—Sam and Dean had a bit of a fight and something bad could be going on and Dean promised he'd protect him—_I_ promised I would protect him." I pleaded with her.

"Well you know what, I think he's your family, and you have to protect your family." Ellen agreed with me. "He's in Indiana."

I smiled and wrote the name of the city down and the motel he was at, and then thanked her and hung up the phone, looking at Dean. He glanced at me, and then back at the road, apprehension in his eyes and it warmed and broke my heart all at the same time. Sam was truly his _everything_, and I thought that he was an amazing brother…an amazing person and I really wanted us to find Sam as soon as possible.

"He's in Indiana, so let's head here." I told him, handing him the piece of paper and then pulling out my own phone to call Jen after kissing his hand again. "I'll get directions from Jen."

He smiled at me, letting out a sigh of relief. "Or you could use a map."

"Good point—why interrupt them when I can look over a map?" I asked him.

He smiled at me and kissed my hand as well, us stopping for gas, and then for some food, driving until morning. We found the motel and we slowed down and looked through a window of a room with the curtains open. Thank God! Sam was there and he looked like he was safe and that was what mattered. I smiled and ran my fingers through Dean's hair as he looked at Sam with a smile on his face—he was so relieved that nothing bad had happened to Sam.

"Thank God you're okay." Dean said aloud.

"You think we should go on in?" I asked him.

As Sam stepped away from the window, we saw a girl and Dean smirked. "You're better than okay. Sammy, you sly dog."

"It's probably not like that." I told him, elbowing him softly, and he smiled at me, glad I was there until there were gunshots that shattered the windows in the motel, and I frowned. "Gordon."

Dean gave me a look and I explained that I could sense him and got out of the car, Dean following me to where Gordon was with a sniper. Dean jumped at him and knocked him down to the ground, punching him in the face as I started to say an incantation. I had definitely been practicing, but at the same time I still needed to get better so I could just think and do something like I could do when I was a teenager.

"You do that to my brother, I'll kill you!" Dean cried, grabbing hold of his jacket hard.

"Dean, wait." Gordon said, but Dean continued to beat his face until Gordon hit him with the gun, and then held a can up to me as I went to shoot him with the fireball in my hand.

"Sweet dreams, witch." Gordon said, and he sprayed something in my face, causing me to gag and fall over.

xxxx

When I woke up, I was tied to a chair, and I felt groggy, trying to get my bearings. I had no idea what was going on, but I remembered Gordon evading the fireball after knocking Dean out, and spraying me in the face...what the fuck did he spray me in the face with and how could I get untied when I couldn't feel my magic to kill him?

"What did you spray me with?" I asked him softly, freaking a little because I couldn't feel my magic…

"You sprayed her with something?" Dean asked angrily.

Gordon smiled at us. "I don't get what you see in each other, really. I mean don't you understand what she is, Dean?"

"What…did you spray on me?" I asked firmly again.

"It's a sort of…witch repellent. With a high enough dose, I could kill you, but the stuff I sprayed on will keep your powers down for a good few hours." Gordon explained with a shrug like it was nothing. "I've done my research."

I nodded at him, moving my hands against the ropes and trying to tap into my powers…why was this happening to me? My demon half should still have been helping me to have _some_ powers…I could feel a _little_ something…but what I wasn't sure of. I just needed to focus…just needed to focus…

"Besides, I needed you out, so there were some strong sleeping agents in it too." Gordon said with a smirk and then Dean's phone rang and Gordon answered it and held it up to Dean's ear.

"Hello? Sam, we've been looking for you." Dean said, glancing at me. "I know. Yeah, I talked to Ellen. Lana and I just got here ourselves. It's a real funky town. You ditched us, Sammy. What, who?" Dean asked, looking up at Gordon. "I'm staying at 5637 Monroe Street. Why don't you meet me here?"

Gordon smiled when Dean nodded and took the phone back, hanging it up. "Now was that so hard?"

"Bite me." Dean told him angrily.

"Do you have a bucket?" I asked Gordon suddenly, trying to put a plan into motion.

Gordon raised an eyebrow as Dean did. "Why do you need one?"

"Morning sickness." I said sarcastically.

"Lanni…" Dean said, and we both knew that we were on the same lying page here to get me untied…even there was a pang of hurt along with it.

"Harboring a Winchester?" Gordon asked, going over to his bag.

"I'd say more like…growing one. So…untie me so I can barf?" I asked him, looking up at him as innocently as I could.

Gordon laughed. "Nice try—not as convincing at lying with all that pain that crept into your eyes, Lana."

I swallowed because he was right—things that had to do with children still made my _eyes_ show pain. I was so much better at masking it physically…but it all still hurt dully. Dean wanted kids…I wanted kids…and we couldn't have them together. The fact that Gordon could read my eyes was kind of painful…it was kind of eye-opening too because he _knew_ me…even if only a little bit.

"Gordy, I know that Sam, Lana and I ain't exactly you're favorite people, but don't you think that this is a little extreme?" Dean asked him.

Gordon scoffed at him. "What? You think this is revenge?"

"Well we did leave you tied up in your own mess for three days. Which was awesome." Dean chuckled, and I gave him a look because though funny, yes…_not_ the time. "Sorry, I shouldn't laugh."

"Yeah. I was definitely thinking of whooping your ass for that." Gordon told him with a nod. "But this isn't about that. This isn't personal. I'm not…a killer, Dean. I'm a hunter. And your brother's fair game." He replied, cocking his gun.

"You have got to be kidding me." I told him, he and I making eye contact. "You can't just…kill Sam."

Gordon came over to us bringing a chair, and I frowned at him—he was acting like he had things to tell us. Like there were important things that we were missing that it was his job to point out to us. He was making me feel uncomfortable, but I was also feeling like I had a very _small_ sliver of a chance to use some magic…just needed a little more…

"What is this, like story time?" Dean asked him.

Gordon looked at the both of us. "See, I was doing an exorcism in Louisiana. Teenage girl. Same routine. Some low level demon. But between all the jabbering and head spinning, damn thing muttered something about a coming war. Now I don't think it meant to, it just kind of slipped out, but it was too late. Peaked my interest—and you can really get a demon to talk if you got the right tools."

"And what happened to the girl it was possessing?" I asked him cautiously.

"She didn't make it." Gordon recalled.

Dean shook his head slowly. "Well you're a son of a bitch."

Gordon came over and hit him. "That's my momma you're talking about." Gordon told him as Dean made a face. "Anyway, this demon tells me they have soldiers to fight in this coming war. Humans fighting on Hell's side, can you believe that? I mean they're psychics so they're not exactly _pure_ humans, but still. What kind of worthless scumbag do you gotta be to turn against your own race? But do you know the biggest kick in the ass? This demon said I knew one of them: our very own Sammy Winchester."

He and Dean chuckled and I cracked a smile because even though that was true, there was no way in Hell that we were telling him that. What in the fucking Hell was going on around here and why to us? Then something hit me that Gordon had just said: '_pure_ humans'…psychics weren't pure humans? What exactly did that mean?

"Wow. This is a whole new level of moronic, even for you." Dean told him.

"Yeah? Come on, Dean. I know." Gordon told him, pulling a serious face. "About Sam's visions. I know everything."

"Really?" Dean asked him like he was stupid. "Because a _demon_ told you? Yeah, cause it wasn't lying."

Gordon looked at him. "Hey, Dean? I'm not some reckless yahoo. I did my homework, made damn sure it was true. Look, you've got your Roadhouse connections…I've got mine. Its how I found Sam in the first place."

Dean and I both exchanged looks over that, and then Gordon walked away from us and sat down. Suddenly everything was starting to make sense to me—Gordon honestly believed that _every_ psychic was dangerous and so he had a new obsession. Instead of hunting vampires because of his past, he was hunting psychics down because of what they could potentially do in the future…Gordon needed a hobby that had _nothing_ to do with hunting…simple as that.

"So is this what you've been…doing since then? Taking out psychics instead of vampires?" I asked him.

Gordon nodded at me. "I took out another one of these freaks about a month ago, here in town. He could deep fry a person just be touching them."

"He kill anyone?" Dean asked, trying to piece it all together.

"Besides Mr. Tinkles the cat? No. But he was working up to it. They're all going to be killers Dean. We gotta take them all out, and that means Sammy too." Gordon said, finishing loading and cocking his gun.

Dean scoffed at that. "You think Sam's stupid enough to walk through that front door?"

"No, I don't. Especially since I'm pretty sure you found a way to warn him." Gordon admitted and nodded and laughed at the looks on our faces. "Ha! You really think I'm that stupid."

"Well yeah, I know _I_ think you are." I admitted with a small shrug, keeping a smile at bay because I was feeling better…feeling a little more powerful…only a little more, but it could be enough.

"No. Sammy's going to scope the place first. See me covering the front door, so he's going to take the back. And when he does, he'll hit the trip wire. Then…boom." Gordon said with a hand movement.

Dean shook his head. "He's not going to fall for a frigging trip wire."

"Maybe you're right. That's why I'll have a second one. Hey look, I'm sorry. I wish I didn't have to do this, I really do. But for what it's worth, it'll be quick." Gordon explained to us.

"That's not worth anything." I told Gordon as he went to set up the trip wires.

I glanced over at Dean and he looked at me, our eyes meeting. Then he looked me over once, was convinced I was as good as I could be and then he opened his mouth to speak. I knew what he wanted to know, and I knew my answer was going to disappoint him more than it was going to give him hope.

"That stuff he sprayed you with—can you use your powers yet?" Dean asked me.

I shook my head. "They're too weak to free us. I can warn Sammy in his mind though."

Dean nodded at me slowly. "Do it."

We both stopped talking as we heard Gordon come back into the room and I knew there was little that we could do. So Dean and I were going to have to try and appeal to Gordon somehow…which was going to be hard because I was pretty certain he didn't exactly _have_ a heart…so how was this going to work? How was I going to get this all done?

"Come on, Man. I know Sam. Better than anyone." Dean tried as Gordon brought a chair over. "He's got more of a conscious than I do. The guy feels guilty surfing the Internet for porn!"

"Maybe you're right." Gordon said with a shrug. "But one day he's going to be a monster and that's that."

"How? Huh? How does a guy like Sam become a monster?" Dean asked harshly.

Gordon shrugged. "Beats me, but he will."

"No! You don't know that!" Dean cried, and I could hear all of the pain in his voice and bit my lip.

"I'm surprised at you, Dean. Getting all emotional." Gordon said as Dean looked away and I glared at Gordon. "Lana I understand, but I thought _you_ were more professional than this. Look, let's say, you were cruising around in that car of yours, and uh, you had little Hitler riding shotgun, right? Back when he was some goofy, crappy, artist. But you knew what he was going to turn into someday. You'd take him out just like that, am I right?"

"That's not what Sam is." Dean and I said at once.

"Yes it is." Gordon replied, resting his hand on Dean. "You just don't see it yet. Dean, it's his destiny. Look, I'm sympathetic. He's your brother, you love the guy. This has gotta hurt like Hell for you. But here's the thing," He said, gagging him, "it would wreck me. But your Dad, if it really came right down to it, he would have had the stones to do the right thing here. But you're telling me you're not the man he is?"

"Go to Hell, Gordy." I told him firmly and he looked at me. "You don't get to talk to him like that…keep your opinions to yourself."

"Do I have to use the spray on you again?" Gordon asked me.

I sighed and looked at Dean, shaking my head slowly. "No…just gag away."

Gordon came over and gagged me as well, and then I sat there and looked at Dean who was freaking out. We were both unable to verbally communicate with Sam, but I had a plan—I always had a plan. Even if the plan was _really_ stupid and it got my best friend turned…I _always_ had a plan.

"_Calm down_." I told Dean in his mind. "_I'll warn Sam_."

Dean nodded while Gordon wasn't looking, and I concentrated as I felt Sam near us. I really only had one shot…I didn't have enough juice in me. My demon half was really working hard to overpower what Gordon had done to me, but it was pretty obvious that I wasn't going to be able to do too much…not until it wore off…I needed more practice and I knew it.

"_Sam_…_be careful_." I said softly in his head.

Just as I said that in his head, I heard Sam say that he would be, and then we heard footsteps and a clicking sound. Sam was here, and he knew he had to be careful, and I felt drained…I felt _really_ drained. There was no way that I was going to be able to warn him about anything else, but just that warning would keep him more alert…and I was _certain_ that it would keep him alive.

"You hear him?" Gordon asked us. "Here he comes."

There was an explosion, and Dean and I both tried to talk through our gags, but it didn't work. I knew that it was fruitless to even try, but Sam was out there and I was trying desperately to get to him…to sense him…but I was all tapped out and now _I_ was starting to panic even more too.

"Oh no. Not yet. Wait and see." Gordon said slowly, looking towards where Sam would be coming to save us from.

There was another explosion and wood went flying everywhere, past Dean and I in our chairs. I felt some tears escape, and then Dean started to breathe harder into his gag as he felt sadness creep into him. We were both actually feeling pretty much like it was all over, and I worked at my restraints as Gordon looked at us and made a face like he was sorry…but he wasn't, and he was going to pay for this.

"Sorry, Dean." Gordon told him, and Dean started moving his chair.

I tried to focus on my powers, and though weak, I began to loosen my restraints when Dean and I turned to hear Sam cry, "Put the gun down now!" Sam came into the room after we heard a struggle, and untied us both, me grabbing him and hugging him tightly—I was _never_ going to be ready to let Sam go. There was a part of me that needed to have him with me forever…and that part of me scared me.

"Are you all right?" I asked, grabbing his face.

Sam nodded and then Dean grabbed his face as I let go, and looked him over. He didn't look too scratched up, but he had definitely suffered a beating. Gordon was responsible for this and I was going to show him that he did _not_ get to mess with me and live. He just didn't…

"Son of a bitch." Dean said, and started in the direction of where Gordon would be.

Sam grabbed a hold of Dean by his jacket. "Dean, no."

"I let him live once, I'm not making the same mistake twice." Dean told him as I headed towards Gordon and Sam grabbed my arm.

"Guys, trust me." Sam said calmly. "Gordy's taken care of. Come on."

Though Dean and I were slightly reluctant about it, we all left the house. We were headed out towards the Impala I assumed, when Gordon showed up again, and started shooting at us. The three of us took off running and I wished that my powers would just all come back so I could throw a fireball at him and take care of him once and for all.

"Come on! You call this taken care of?" Dean asked Sam.

We jumped behind a high piece of ground and I looked at Sam. "What are we doing?"

"Just trust me, all right?" Sam asked, and we saw cop cars pull up.

Gordon was surprised when the cops came for him, and they handcuffed him and then checked his car and found several weapons. He was out late at night shooting a firearm, and he had all sorts of strange shit in the back of his trunk—oh he was totally boned for now, and that made me laugh a little. I reached out and stroked Sam's hair and he smiled at me before turning to look at Dean.

"Anonymous tip." Sam told him.

Dean smiled at him. "You're a fine upstanding citizen, Sam."

When Gordon was taken away, we sat around at the car and Dean called Ellen while I pulled out the first aid kit and I wiped up Sam's face. I didn't want Dean to yell at Ellen because I knew she wouldn't give Sam up to anyone, but I was too focused on Sam. Sam had gotten hurt and Dean and I had been helpless to stop it.

"You okay?" I asked Sam slowly, blowing on his cut softly to dry the rubbing alcohol.

Sam shrugged a little. "I guess…you?"

"I'm going to be fine." I told him with a smile and made a fireball in my hand. "And look what I can do again."

"Gordon Walker was hunting Sam! And he almost killed Sam, Lana and I because somebody over there couldn't keep their frigging mouth shut!" Dean yelled at her as Sam stroked my hair, the fireball going out. "Who else knows about Sam? You must've been talking to somebody! Gordon said he had Roadhouse connections, Ellen!"

When Dean got back into the car, I set my hand on his shoulder and he sighed a little, but kissed my hand. Then he pulled me close to him and kissed the top of my head, looking at Sam and nodding at him. He was glad that Sam was patched up and all right, and I knew he wasn't going to say it out loud.

"You two seem a little different." Sam said, a smile stretching across his face.

I shrugged at him. "Different, how?"

"It's almost like you finally realized that you're really in love." Sam told me and laughed when Dean rolled his eyes and I smiled.

"Or it was an empty motel room on a nice morning." Dean said, and I laughed a little and rolled my eyes this time.

"That sounded romantic." I replied, shaking my head.

Sam smiled though. "I'm just glad you two are completely patched up again—especially after everything lately…and I mean he's publicly showing his affection for you."

"It's just you, Sammy." Dean said with a shrug, kissing the top of my head and then getting into the driver's seat of the car.

I laughed a little because Dean really didn't feel like it was PDA in front of Sam, and I appreciated that, but also wished he'd be a little more PDA. I didn't want to make-out with him in public or anything, but I would like it if he got a little more visibly jealous when we were at bars like I did. Still…it was his little quirks that made me love him so much and besides…he trusted me enough to sometimes _not _feel threatened by the men that sent me drinks at bars…but would it hurt him every once in a while to at least _threaten _to rough one of them up?

Sam and I got into the car and we were all pretty silent as we drove, Sam calling Ava every once in a while. She was the girl that had come to warn Sam about him dying that he had been with—turned out that she had the same power Sam did: visions. She had helped him to find some things out and was helping him to get closer to figure out what the Demon's plan for the psychics was, but she wasn't answering…and he kept trying.

"Hey Ava, it's Sam again. Um, call me when you get this. Just wanna make sure you got home okay. All right. Bye." Sam said and hung up the phone.

I sat up a little more in the back seat. "Is everything all right?"

"I sure hope so." Sam replied with a small nod.

"Well Gordon should be reaching for the soap for the next few years at least." Dean told us with a chuckle.

Sam nodded at that. "Yeah, if they pin Scott Kerry's murder on him, and if he doesn't bust out."

"Dude, you ever take off like that again…" Dean began, but he trailed off, afraid of getting _too_ 'mushy'.

"What? You'll kill me?" Sam asked with a smile.

"That's so not funny." Dean said and gave Sam a look.

Honestly it was warming my heart to see them so cute together, even though they were both trying to be 'men'. They loved each other and they would do anything for each other and they knew that…they just hated having the tender moments. I on the other hand, was practically thriving on them—I _loved_ it when I got to see their care for each other slip through and show its true colors.

Sam chuckled. "All right. All right. So where to next then?"

"One word: Amsterdam." Dean replied as Sam scoffed a little.

"Dean." Sam said firmly.

Dean sighed a bit. "Come on, Man. I hear the coffee shops don't even serve coffee."

"Where's the fun in that?" I asked him and winked because I knew he was making a joke.

Sam looked at him. "I'm not going to just ditch the job."

"Screw the job!" Dean told him. "Screw it, man. I'm sick of this job anyway. I mean we don't get paid. We don't get thanked. All we get is bad luck."

"Well come on Dude, you're a hunter." Sam tried and shrugged at him. "I mean it's what you were meant to do."

Dean shot Sam a look. "I wasn't meant to do anything. I don't believe in that destiny crap."

"You mean you don't believe in _my_ destiny?" Sam asked him slowly.

I looked over at Dean too as he shifted uncomfortably and I nodded—he really didn't want to believe that Sam would turn and neither did I. There _had_ to be more to all of this and we all knew it, but at the same time Sam wanted Dean to face it because _he_ was ready to. Honestly? I thought it was commendable that Sam was tired of running…so was I…we had to face whatever was coming, and we had to face all of it together.

"Well, whatever." Dean replied after a pause.

"Look, Dean, I've tried running before. I mean I ran all the way to California and look what happened. You can't run from this." Sam explained to him and then he swallowed. "And you can't protect me."

Dean didn't skip a beat. "I can try."

"Thanks for that." Sam told him softly.

"Aww! A brotherly moment!" I cooed, a grin spreading across my face.

"Don't make me come back there." Dean said as he looked into the rearview mirror.

"Look, Dean, I'm gonna keep hunting." Sam told him as I smiled at Dean, our eyes locking in the mirror. "I mean whatever's coming, I'm taking it head on, so if you really wanna watch my back, you're gonna have to stick around."

Dean smiled. "Bitch."

"Jerk." Sam retorted.

Sam started to dial on his phone again and Dean glanced over at him as I started to text Jen something. Dean was pretty interested in why Sam kept trying to get a hold of Ava, and I just wanted to let Jen know that we would be home soon. After all, it was damn close to my favorite Holiday and I needed to be with Jen, and I wanted her to be warned because she had a husband and two daughters now.

"You calling that Ava chick again? Are you sweet on her or something?" Dean asked Sam with a smirk on his face.

Sam raised his eyebrows in protest. "She's engaged, Dean."

"So? What's the point in saving the world if you can't get a little lookie once in a while, huh? What?" Dean asked as Sam looked worried.

"It's just a feeling. How far is it to Pioria?" Sam asked him.

Dean nodded at him and we went and looked around her house, finding a man dead on the bed. I went straight to the window since it was obvious that he had been murdered and I found the yellow, powdery substance that I had been looking for…and that wasn't good. All of this was some sort of plan and we needed to figure out if it was _the_ Demon, and _what_ the plan was that he had.

"Hey…sulfur." I pointed out to them.

"Demon's been here." Dean agreed as we looked at the windowsill.

Upon further investigation, Sam found Ava's engagement ring on the floor and picked it up looking really sad. "Ava."

**Note: The next chapter has some serious fluff, some angst, and some more of Lana's past. I hope you guys will like it! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	31. New Levels in Relationships

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay, here is the next chapter, and I hope you guys like it!**

**It's a 'filler' chapter, and it's fluffy/angsty, and has a piece that is TOTALLY new.**

**Most of you know this is a rewrite, but I totally added a piece or two to this chapter because I felt like it was needed.**

**This chapter also comes with a smut warning.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

I had three reasons for dragging Sam and Dean to Kansas the first week we were looking for Ava: Kansas is where everything seemed to have begun, the girls were getting bigger and bigger everyday, and it was Christmastime. When we got to Kansas, Sam spent the first two days nonstop calling and talking to Ellen, and I spent time with the girls _and_ helped with everything else. There was also the slight problem that I had run into once again when it came to the boys—a misunderstanding…they didn't _do_ Christmas.

How could a person _not_ do Christmas? I mean I understood that some people didn't celebrate it, and that it was something that Sam and Dean hurt from since their Christmases were apparently never good but…it was the _one thing_ I felt accomplished with. I had no details about why they didn't do Christmas, but I just knew that if I wanted Christmas…I was most likely not celebrating it with the boys…and now I understood why the last Christmas neither of them had called me back when we had all separated.

"What are you saying?" I asked Jen suddenly, trying to wrap my mind around things.

Jen sighed and I knew she was trying to word it perfectly. "Look, Lan, I'm just saying that maybe you should try to look at this from a different angle. The only way you're going to find Ava is if—if you talk to the demon."

Kevin had made it practically a rule not to talk about demons in front of the babies, but it wasn't like they wouldn't learn about it someday. So every time Jen went to talk about it, she'd look around, make sure he wasn't there, and then lower her voice to a whisper. Jen and I were each holding a baby—she had Minah, and I had Kaydence—while Sam and Dean were out trying to find leads on Ava and still letting me be settled in for a little while…letting me hang out with Jen until Christmas was over…and possibly New Year's if I agreed to Dean's terms and 'special favors'…we'd see about that.

"I get that, Jen, but are you sure you're not just saying that because you're still mad about me letting myself almost die?" I asked her. "That somewhere deep inside you want me to go put myself in danger and fight to survive because you're twisted and then you'll regret saying it later?"

Jen sighed loudly. "It's more than that, Lan. It's that you were _willing_ to sacrifice yourself. What would have happened if Sam had turned and then in turn got you guys infected? What then? It was reckless and stupid. I know that you love them, and I know how much they mean to you and I get that and I love that, but you should have wanted to fight to live."

"I know, but…I just didn't know what to do without Dean. I love him more than anything, and I just wanted to be with him in the end…I couldn't just leave and let him and Sam _kill_ themselves, Jenny." I explained with a sigh, looking down at Kaydence as she started to play with my necklace, Minah fascinated by her toy in her mother's lap.

"I get that, Lan, but at the same time, I just wish you had thought about it before you went and offered yourself up to the demon practically." Jen explained with a shrug. "I have nothing else to say on the subject, you know what you did."

I smiled at her. "I do love you, Jenny. And you too, Kaydee. Yeah?"

Kaydence loved baby talk and smiled a little at me, me looking up and telling Minah that I loved her too. Minah was much quieter and liked to be sung and read to, but Kaydence was going to be the talker—it was pretty apparent. Sometimes looking at Minah and Kaydence made me a little reminiscent because I had hoped that mine and Dean's child would be a good combination of the two girls, and I wished I could have had that baby. It made me want to see the gravestone—the one that Jen had helped me to put together.

"Hey, are you okay, Lan?" Jen asked as I looked at Kaydence and my eyes started to glaze over a little with tears.

I looked up. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just—I think Kaydee needs her mother."

I handed Kaydence over to Jen who had just put Minah down to play with her toy on the floor and I stood up. I was so glad that Jen had this—children, a husband, stability—I was jealous of her in so many ways. It made me start to think about where things were headed with me and Dean and I honestly didn't know…I didn't know if he thought about the future like I did…I didn't know if he would _ever_ consider marrying me…and I realized as I started to head out of the room that I actually _wanted_ to marry him.

"Lanni?" Jen asked and I turned a little to look at her.

"Yeah?" I asked her.

"I can tell them not to bother you." Jen told me with a nod, understanding of what it was I was about to go and do.

I gave a sad smile. "I'll have my phone off, but you can tell them I'm at the cemetery. Either one or both of them will try and come to see what I'm up to and I honestly don't mind that."

Jen nodded and I left the house, heading to my car and drove all the way to the cemetery, pausing when I parked and taking a deep breath. Jen and Kevin had been letting Sam, Dean and I stay in their guest rooms and I hadn't even been back to my house yet…and I wasn't sure I could do this either. I took a deep breath though and headed to the grave marker, smiling at Bethany's and Marcus' graves and then my eyes settled on it: "Casey Morgan Winchester: Beloved Child".

I had to take another deep breath to stop the tears from coming, and I put my hands in my pockets, looking at the grave marker softly. Jen had helped me to pick out the marble and the engraving and all of the little things, and I _knew _it had to go where my adopted parents had been buried…that had just felt right tome. Suddenly it dawned on me that I should have told Dean about it at least, but he never wanted to talk about it, and neither did anyone else…I didn't even like to talk about the miscarriage.

"Hey, Sweetheart." I said softly, dropping down to my knees.

I ran my fingers along the gray marble and tried hard not to cry—this was the child that could have been…the child that Chelsea had killed. If I hadn't been shot—if I hadn't have needed surgery—I would have been able to carry this baby to full term and be a mother…but I was never going to get that chance, and I was never going to get this baby back. My poor baby had never had a chance, and neither did my hopes of Dean and me becoming a family and building our own.

"I know that I haven't been by at all, but I'm still getting used to not having you around." I tried, my voice choked up. "I miss you so much. I have dreams about you sometimes, you know. Dreams where Daddy and I are excited to have you…dreams where there were no complications and we got to hold you…dreams where everything got to work out. I…I love you, I hope you know that. I would have given _anything_ to get to have you…and even though Daddy hates to talk about it…I know he would have to."

I couldn't say anything else no matter how hard I tried to. I started to choke out my words every time I opened my mouth and so I just ran my fingers along the marble and then kissed my fingers, touching them to the headstone. This was all I had to offer…I had been stupid enough to just come on a whim. Where were the flowers? Where were the talks about how _good_ all the other things were going?

"Visiting your parents?" Dean asked me.

I wiped my tears away and then I stood up and took his hand, shaking my head. "Nah. With my parents I can stand and cry all at the same time."

Dean nodded and then looked down at the headstone. "Casey Morgan…Winchester."

I nodded slowly as he started to tear up and then he turned to me and I knew what his eyes were asking. He wanted to know why I never told him, and why I had decided to name the baby what I had named it and yet he didn't say anything. Why couldn't he just say something? It hurt, and I _knew_ it hurt, but why couldn't we deal with it together? Why did he have to ignore _everything_?

"Yeah, so…Jen and Sam both hit dead ends and wanted to have us home for dinner." Dean said with a nod.

"Dean…you can talk about it." I told him softly.

He shook his head. "They need us."

"Dean—"

"—Lanni…please don't push me. I wasn't ready to visit with Mom's headstone, and I'm not ready to visit with Casey's."

Sometimes I just wanted to punch him and he knew it by the look in my eyes as I took my hand away from his and put it in my pocket. I understood that it was hard for him—I did—but at the same time I wished he would at least make it look like he cared. This was the grave of our child, the one that was taken away from us, and all he could do was think of his stomach—normally I would find him cute all hungry, but right now it was just simply ridiculous.

I walked away from him and heard him sigh, getting into my car and driving to Jen's, parking and heading inside. Dean came in shortly after and I smiled at Jen who had a meal made, and Kevin and Sam were actually talking to each other. It was a little strange, especially when Dean joined in, and so I went into the Kitchen and Jen looked up as I came in, smiling at me.

"How did it go?" She asked me.

I shrugged and then made a face at Kaydence that made her smile a little. "He…he ignored it…everything. I know I shouldn't be upset but I'm _hurt_, Jenny…I'm _really_ hurt…"

Jen sighed and kissed my cheek. "Well, he hasn't dealt with his own mother yet either. I mean maybe I'm biased because I have kids now, but even though the woman gave him life and he knows her better, it was his flesh and blood that was taken from him. His child—his and _your _child—the child of woman he loves with _all _of his heart—is six feet under…sorry."

I waved it off. "No, it's okay. I thought about all of that. The woman raised him and though he's the father of the baby I lost, if he can't cope with her death, I can't expect him to cope with this…so I shouldn't feel this bad, right?"

"It almost makes you want to feel sorry for him, doesn't it?" Jen asked me slowly.

I nodded at him. "He's had it hard."

Jen nodded in agreement and then I helped her with some of the serving bowls and plates and went out to put things on the table. The boys' eyes lit up as the girls sat in their high chairs, and I smiled at Kevin as he leaned up to kiss his wife. She had worked to make a huge dinner and he thought that she was just the bee's knees…and I was so proud of him…so glad that Jen and Kevin were happy.

"It smells wonderful, Sweetheart." Kevin told her, kissing her softly, all of us sitting down and starting to pass the food around.

Jen smiled at him. "Thank you. I worked hard to make it good."

"Where were you earlier?" Kevin asked me after he said grace.

"The cemetery." I told him, putting a piece of chicken in my mouth.

"Were you visiting your parents?" Sam asked me, glancing over.

I shook my head. "That wasn't why I went."

"She was visiting our kid's grave marker." Dean said and everyone was suddenly silent. "Could you pass the mashed potatoes, Kevin?"

Everyone looked at us for a moment, Kevin passing Dean the potatoes since he had gone from slightly depressive to wanting potatoes instantly. I couldn't blame him for being stoic—it was the way he coped with things, but at the same time, I didn't know quite how to deal with the fact that he seemed to just get over it, and I was stuck on it. How come Dean could move past this and I couldn't?

"The food is excellent." Sam told Jen, getting the focus off of me and Dean.

Jen smiled at him. "Nice to know it's appreciated."

"What kind of desert did you make?" I asked.

"I knew you'd want pie, so I whipped up an apple one—might not stand up to yours, but its good." Jen replied with a shrug.

I nodded, and we all had a nice dinner before Kevin and Jen got up to go and put Minah and Kaydence to bed, and then Sam went into the closest guest room, leaving Dean and I in the farthest one from everything—I swear it was planned. Either they wanted us to sex everything out, or they wanted to give us a place where we could argue without disturbing anyone. I kissed Sam's cheek swiftly and told him to sleep well and then I followed Dean into the guest room and took a deep, silent breath.

The two of us changed in silence, and then I was the first one in bed, lying on my side with my back to the middle of the bed. I lay there with my eyes closed for a good ten minutes before Dean finally got into the bed, and then slowly wrapped his arms around me and pulled my body close to him, glad I wasn't resisting at all. It felt nice to feel his chest heave against my back, and I loved his heartbeat…no matter how mad or how sad or how hurt…this was where I wanted to be.

"I'm sorry." He whispered to me, placing a kiss behind my ear softly.

I felt his right hand slide up my arm to my open palm, and our fingers entwined.

"It's all right." I said, kissing his hand and snuggling into him more as we pulled the covers up around us.

"No it's not." He replied, shaking his head. "I deal with grief more stoically."

I nodded slowly. "I know."

"It isn't fair to you." He said softly and his voice was shaking a little.

I squeezed his hand. "We deal with things differently, honey. I get it. Just because you don't look sad, doesn't mean you aren't torn up on the inside."

I turned over to face him as I heard his breathing change, and my heart broke at the pain written all over his face. I leaned in and kissed him, tracing his bottom lip with my tongue after a moment when he responded and ran his fingers through my hair, and he parted his lips for me. It felt so nice, his tongue swirling and pressing against mine, but then he pulled back and shook his head and we made eye contact.

"I don't deserve you, Lanni." He whispered.

I rolled my eyes and kissed him again, and then after pressing my forehead to his, I turned over, both of us lying in our original position. We lay there silent for a long while until we fell asleep and then in the middle of the night I woke up and turned over to find out that the bed was empty. I found a note on his pillow that read:

_I had to do something._

_Back in a bit._

Every nerve in my body was hoping he was at the cemetery, and so I dragged myself out of bed and grabbed a robe. Then I hurried to the cemetery and was surprised that he was actually there, standing next to the grave marker and running his hand down his face.

"I don't know what to say." He was saying to the headstone. "Your mother deserves so much more than all of this, you know? God she loved you. I think all of this messed her up a little bit, and I wish I could fix it, but I can't, Man. She's broken…and to be honest…so am I. I honestly miss knowing you were in her stomach. I know your mother knows about the baby name book and the names I liked because she picked them…she even gave you my last name instead of hers…I think she wants more from me than I think I can give her no matter how much I love her." He added, starting to tear up again. "I've thought of asking her to think about retiring this job, but I think she feels the need to do this for you. To get back at the demon for sending us things that put us in danger—to find and kill Chelsea for doing this to her in the first place. I don't blame her…I won't ever forgive him for this, Casey—I swear to you. And I'll take care of your mother…I love her…I love you."

Dean nodded like he had said what it was that he had needed to say, and turned around to see me standing there. He stood his ground as I walked up to him and when I got to him we stood there for a moment, just looking at each other. Then he reached out his arms and he pulled me to him, me burying my face in his chest and nodding in understanding—he really didn't need to tell me anything else. I understood how he felt about it, and I understood that he loved me and that he had loved our baby and it just hurt him less not to confront it and I could deal with that…I was annoyed with myself for not being as understanding as he was.

"I could have come with you." I whispered to him softly.

He shook his head and kissed the top of mine. "No, Lanni, not this time. This was something I had to face on my own. Why didn't you tell me?"

I shrugged as I held onto him and he ran his fingers along my back, holding me to him and not letting me go. He rested his lips against my hair and took even breaths, kissing my head again and waiting for my answer. I opened my mouth to speak because he honestly deserved to know, and if he never forgave me for keeping it from him, then I could completely understand that—this was something we both should have been able to cope with together earlier.

"I was getting used to the idea of it all myself." I admitted to him slowly. "Plus…I didn't know how to bring it up in conversation. 'Oh yeah, I had our child buried in Kansas next to my parents' graves'."

"I saw that." He nodded. "I'm glad he's near the two of them…and I wouldn't normally think like that because I'm a realist."

I nodded and pulled back, smiling up at him. "But doesn't it almost make things easier? To think that Grandma and Grandpa are taking care of him?"

Dean turned to face me and nodded, stroking my hair. "It does at that."

I smiled because I knew that he truly meant that, and I leaned up as he leaned down, kissing him gently. Then he pulled away and we grasped hands, and after one more glance at the grave marker, we headed out of the cemetery and headed back to Jen's and Kevin's house. For now this was the kind of closure we needed, and it was the only closure on it that we were really going to get…and I felt satisfied.

xxxx

"What are you doing?" I asked Dean, propped up on my hand under the covers, looking at him and raising my eyebrows.

He shrugged at me, focused. "I'm reading."

"I saw the book. So…what are you _doing_?" I asked him again. "Are there any pretty pictures in there?"

"I should get you for that." Dean told me as I grinned.

I rolled my eyes because he _knew_ that he thoroughly enjoyed my little joke about his reading—or lack thereof—and I had to smile at him. He was trying to lose himself in something and he didn't have a hunt to do that with, so he had randomly woken up and gotten himself one of _my_ books out of _my_ duffle. Now he was just lounging there and part of me was surprised there had been no solicit for an early morning romp…I actually would have liked that.

"You've been…different for the last two days." I said, trying not to bring up him talking to the gravestone much.

"I thought I would catch up on my reading." Dean shrugged.

I looked at the cover and laughed when I saw it was one of my 3 Harlequin books. "Dean…you do realize what kind of book that is, right?"

"It's about a guy trying to save this chick with red heels." Dean told me because he wanted to prove he wasn't retarded but it was obvious he'd just read the title and the back of the book.

"Dean," I said, pausing for dramatic effect, "that's a romance novel."

"It is not." Dean said, giving me a look.

I laughed and nodded. "I happen to have read '_**High-Heeled Alibi**_'…flip to page 188."

Dean sighed and did as he was told like he was going to prove me wrong, but as he read the more explicit scene, his eyes widened. Honestly the only three Harlequin books I had I had picked up at one of those library sales and I hadn't realized what they were. Then I read '_**Engaging Bodyguard**_' and realized that they were a series of romance novels, and the other two just didn't stand up to the first one I had read and I hadn't bought another one since then and probably would keep it that way. I just wasn't one to buy romance novels…but it wasn't like I didn't enjoy the ones that I now happened to have.

"Oh…you like this kind of stuff?" He asked and wiggled his eyebrows which made me laugh and snuggle back into the pillow on my side of the bed.

"The only one I truly _adore_ is '_**Engaging Bodyguard**_'." I admitted with a blush. "So perfect…he's a spy, she's the love he never allowed himself to have, they have to work together, she has to find herself…the characters kind of remind me of us actually. They meet, they're attracted, he seduces her and she wants it, and then she falls hard and he pushes her away, and it's a little more complicated then that, but the point is…I think they're perfect…and though she wants to be the seducer the next time around as he's falling in love and she almost gets herself killed saving him, _you're_ the seducer in _our_ relationship."

Dean laughed loudly. "Except lately—remember that car thing before Sam was infected? That whole thing with the demon virus?"

"Yeah…I remember." I told him with a nod.

"So…" He began, holding up the book, "…wanna try this?"

I realized he was serious and I leaned in a little. "I _would_ much rather seduce you…"

Dean set the book down and got further under the covers with me his face close to mine and nuzzled my nose with his softly. He was breathing on me, glancing at my lips and yet not letting himself actually touch my lips with his. Then he locked gazes with me and I swallowed as he brushed his lips against mine as he spoke up this time.

"By all means." He whispered.

I suddenly remembered where we were when I glanced at the door. "Now? In Jen's guest room?"

"Why not?" Dean shrugged, eyeing my mouth again.

I got out of the bed in one swift movement and went to the door, opening it and then going out to the railing and looking down at Jen and Kevin standing there talking. They seemed like it was any other normal morning and they were discussing something definitely mundane, but it had to be done. So I opened up my mouth and made my decision right then and there because we were here and it was what I wanted.

"Dean and I are going to have sex, so sorry if you can hear us." I told them.

Jen and Kevin both looked up flabbergasted and then Jen burst out laughing as Kevin's eyes widened in protest. Kevin looked at his wife and then back up at me and decided then and there that Jen and I were both just incredibly crazy and I smiled a little and nodded at Jen. She was definitely on board with it, and I decided that I was just going to have to support my statement for Kevin and his sanity.

"Don't worry we'll do laundry right after." I assured them.

"Can you wait for like five minutes?" Jen asked me, wiping away a couple tears.

I shrugged playfully. "I don't know…I'm yearning for him."

Kevin sighed loudly when Jen laughed again. "Just be quiet about it…there's a plumber coming for the sink in ten."

I nodded and gave him a thumbs up. "Absolutely."

With that I turned around and went back into the room, closing the door behind me with a smile. It was wiped off of my face though when I saw Dean standing a few feet away from me putting a button-up shirt on over his t-shirt, his jeans already on. Hadn't he just been the one that was wanting to try out some new things? Why in the world was he getting _dressed_?

"What are you doing?" I asked him suddenly.

He scoffed like I should know. "I'm getting dressed."

"Why?" I asked, taking a step towards him.

"You rejected me." He said matter-a-factly looking up at me. "You up and got up and dashed off."

I shook my head and smiled. "No, I didn't. I just told Kevin and Jen that we were going to have sex—I was warning them. Take that shirt off…come on."

Dean looked confused, but then he smirked at me and buttoned up the last two buttons deliberately and cocked his head to one side. This man was seriously going to be the death of me if he kept this up and he knew it, damn him! He took a step away from me and I put my hands on my hips, looking at him and smiling a little.

"Make me." Dean told me.

I walked over to him and rested my hands on his shirt, looking him in the eye. "You ever wonder how I deal with you?"

Dean smiled and I felt butterflies erupt in my stomach as he looked down at me and got that cheeky look on his face. He knew that he was about to get _exactly_ what he wanted and so did I, and it made him really cocky. I honestly loved it though…why? I have no idea, but it was just one of the things that I knew turned me on about him and I wouldn't have him any other way—cause then he just wouldn't be the man that I loved.

"Nah, I just wonder how you resist me." He chuckled.

I smirked and pulled on his shirt, the buttons popping off of it, and he looked at me with a new look on his face I hadn't seen before. I wasn't sure if he was just totally surprised, or if he was impressed, or upset, or all three. He just kind of gawked down at the button-up and at the couple of buttons that 'pinged' against surfaces and then he looked me in the eye and I just shrugged a little, the smile still on my face.

"That…was my favorite shirt." He said slowly and then he smirked a little and I knew he was perfectly all right with it.

I smiled more and kissed him, stopping his hands as he tried to drop the shirt off of his shoulders. He cocked his head to the side and I shook my head, biting his bottom lip and then pulling back a little, a firm hold on his now button-less button-up. I shrugged slowly and then cocked my head to the side too, watching his eyes on me.

"_I'm_ seducing _you_, remember?" I reminded him.

"You mean I can't do _anything_?" He asked me softly.

I shook my head. "Not unless I tell you to."

"Damn." He said, running his knuckles along my chest purposefully, a smile on his face.

"Stop…" I said softly, because he knew my pleasure spots and he knew it.

"Make me…" He whispered into my ear, his hot breath on my neck.

Pleasant shivers ran down my spine, and I kissed his neck, sucking on it softly and then biting down on it gently, which made him moan slightly, so I knew I was doing something right. I started to push his button-up off of his shoulders and he ran his hands along my sides, and I allowed it for a moment. Then I pushed his button-up off onto the floor and went to lift up his t-shirt.

"It's not _so_ bad relinquishing _some_ control is it?" I asked him with a small laugh.

He chuckled. "I certainly don't mind watching you."

"Good." I replied with a shrug and he lifted his arms up so that I could pull his shirt off, smiling at him when I tossed it aside.

My hands went down to his jeans and I sighed a little when he ran his fingers along my scar on my stomach, and bit my lip. He was cheating, and he knew it, but he was choosing to continue the soft caressing and I hadn't stopped him yet…okay then that was my bad…

"You're a cheater." I said with a smile.

He smirked, and then his chest tightened slightly as I kissed it, relaxing when I made a slow trail of kisses down towards his pants, only to stop and go back up. I pushed him back onto the bed and crawled on top of him, allowing him to run his fingers along my bra straps. He opened his mouth to say something, but my mouth covered his, and in the same movement I pinned his hands to the bed and he chuckled a little into the kiss. I smiled at the feeling of his body rumbling against mine and then started to softly bite my way down his torso, getting off the rest of his clothes and then pausing at his navel. I glanced up at him and made eye contact with him, my tongue darted out and his eyes widened…it was like he knew what I was contemplating before I had even done it.

"Lanni…" He began, but I shook my head and placed a soft kiss to his straining member.

"Just enjoy it." I whispered, knowing that eventually our relationship would end up at this point—me having to move past my awkward fears and do what I was sure that he had thought in the back of his mind that he had been missing. "Besides…it's not that bad…"

Dean leaned his head back against the pillows. "Lanni…"

"You're going to ruin it if you keep talking." I replied with a small shrug, keeping his hands pinned to the bed.

As nervous as I had been about it, it honestly _wasn't_ that bad, no matter the thoughts running through my mind as everything started to escalate. There were sounds coming from Dean I had never heard him make before at that intensity as my mouth traced parts of him I'd never let my mouth touch before, and eventually he started trying to stop me. He didn't want to reach his release before I reached mine, but this time it was my game, and he was going have to deal with it, and when he was lying there, riding out the waves of his climax, I let his hands go and he immediately pulled me to him.

I smiled into the kiss, opening up my mouth and letting him taste himself on my tongue totally and utterly giving all control to him and letting him flip us over. He smiled at me and kissed my lips tenderly before his mouth trailed downwards and he tried to reciprocate what I had done and I was kind of surprised I hadn't let him talk me into this sooner. I had to silence every voice that told me that it only felt this amazing because Dean had done this before…a _lot_…and once I was feeling a little bit more in the moment and not trapped in my head, the experience was far more pleasurable.

"Baby, you're so beautiful." Dean whispered, kissing up my body to my lips as I trembled beneath him, both of us ready for just one more climax…just one more.

I slipped my fingers into his hair and smiled a little. "You are too."

"God, I love you." Dean breathed, and I simply kissed him back as he pushed his flesh into mine, me biting his lip as it happened.

We were used to this dance, and we moved against each other at the same pace, both of us only thinking about each other, and about how to make the other person feel good. It was all that mattered right there, and it was all that I could possibly have wanted, and when we both climaxed at the same time, it was like nothing else in the world mattered. We were just us, and this was just one more thing that we did together, and we did perfectly…and I couldn't ask for anything more than that, and I wouldn't want to.

"Wow." I breathed out, looking up at the ceiling as Dean rolled off of me onto his back and then I closed my eyes and just smiled.

Dean chuckled. "Did you learn that from your trashy romance novel?"

"If I say I did?" I asked him with a laugh.

"Then I say read more trashy romance novels." He replied and we both laughed together.

I turned and shook my head, snuggling up against his warm, wet body and holding him as he held me. He was stroking my hair and kissing my wet temple, both of us trying to catch our breaths…trying to figure out what to say next. It was new for us, and yet it felt like this was just one of those other things for us…it was just one of the other things that kept us bonded together.

"For the record, I _didn't_ learn that from any of the novels…I just know your pleasure points and your turn-ons, and I figured it was time for something new." I whispered to him.

He nodded slowly. "It was a rather pleasurable new experience…are you all right?"

"I'm perfect…it wasn't as scary or awkward as I thought it was going to be." I replied and closed my eyes. "God, I'm exhausted."

"That was quite a run before eating anything today." Dean admitted, nodding slowly and keeping his fingers gliding through my hair.

I smiled and then tilted my head up smiling when he glanced down at me and our eyes met and I kissed him. It was soft and caring, and I knew that it was simply a marker for us—it was just to show that this is where we belonged and nothing was going to change it…ever. Well, at least that was how Dean was feeling…I _mostly_ felt that, but knew that eventually when I came clean about my father, Dean was going to be distant…but I wasn't going to let that ruin this moment…this moment was perfect.

"I love you." Dean told me softly, kissing me tenderly some more.

I smiled and nodded, kissing him back. "I love you too. I love who you are…I love how you deal with things…I love everything about you."

Dean opened his mouth to say something else, when there was a knock on the door and I groaned a little bit. I was tried, Dean was a little tired, and I was pretty sure that this was just a little heads up from Jen that she needed us to do something. That meant using energy we'd just used on each other that we didn't necessarily have anymore.

"You guys done with the sex yet?" Jen asked us through the door.

I laughed a little. "Yeah Jen, but if you come in, we'll still be under the covers."

"Whatever, just cover up the important parts…I'm giving you sixty seconds." She said impatiently, so I knew it was important.

I looked at Dean. "You wanna to put your pants on?"

Dean sighed and nodded, hurrying up out of bed and putting his pants on, me grabbing his discarded button-up shirt and covering myself with it. Then we both sat on the end of the bed, clad with the important parts covered as Jen walked in and smiled at us. She crossed her arms over her chest and then looked at me, not really giving Dean a second glance since he was topless and though attractive, she knew I'd give her Hell about it later if her eyes lingered on him.

"Sam says he found us a case." Jen explained to me.

I nodded at her slowly. "We'll be down in a good…give us an hour so we can shower."

"Absolutely!" Jen smiled and headed out of the room, closing the door behind her.

xxxx

I leaned on the doorframe as Dean unzipped his jeans and he looked at me, smiling a little and then just standing there. He wanted to know what it was that I was planning on doing, and I wasn't quite sure yet…I was still thinking about it.

"Joining me or watching me?" He asked me, hands now up in the air a little.

I shrugged and smiled. "A little of both."

"No shower sex scenes in those novels of yours?" He joked as he winked.

I laughed again. "Normally it's on floors, and it usually starts on kitchen cabinets."

"Wow…they sure know how to do it then." He said, and he took my hands, resting them on his stomach. "Joining me or watching me?"

I smiled and kissed him. "Joining."

"Good." He said, and rested my hands on the sides of the top of his jeans. "Seduce away."

I laughed loudly and he smiled at me, running his fingers along my hands as I took a step closer to him and kept my hands splayed there against his stomach. Feeling his muscles under my hands was honestly one of my favorite things about being this close to Dean, and he knew how much I loved to feel him up. So all in all, both of us were winning and after such a rewarding morning, this was still just as much fun.

I kissed his chest, our eyes still locked. "You like this too much."

I pressed my lips to his as his smirk grew and then I ran my fingers down his stomach to his belt loops, biting his chest a little. After a moment or two I pulled back and let go of his belt loops, pulling my shirt off and looking up at him, closing my eyes and smiling when he slipped his fingers into my hair. I opened my mouth to say something but just let his fingertips run along my scalp before my eyes fluttered open and I found my voice.

"I think I'm done with this whole feminine power thing." I told him as I ran my fingers along his necklace.

"Are you?" He asked slyly.

I moved my hands back down to his pants and then slid them off and got into the shower as he closed his eyes. I shut the curtains and turned on the water smiling to myself, and adjusting the temperature, running my fingers through my hair. Then I heard a grunt and a sigh and I couldn't help but laugh just a little.

"Lanni…" Dean said, and I laughed a little more.

"Sorry, Deano, but I need a shower. Sam found a case and we need to do it." I told him with a shrug. "It'll give you something to do."

"'Deano'? What's with 'Deano', 'Lano'?" He asked climbing into the shower with me as the warm water ran down my body. "And for the record I had some_one_ to do, and that was going _really_ well."

I made a face. "'Lano'?"

"Now take that disgust," He said, tilting the show head so that the water was hitting him, "and you know what I think about 'Deano'."

I nodded and stepped closer to him, both of us smiling and taking our shower, and then getting out and getting dressed. As usual, Dean wore a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and I wore jeans and a nice cute, feminine top, and then I pulled my hair back. We went downstairs and went over to the table, the others looking up at us. Sam handed Dean and I the papers he had been looking at, and I smirked a bit as Dean rested his hand on my hip farthest from him, pulling me to him.

Sam took a breath. "I think we're back to vampires."

"Seriously?" Dean asked as I flipped through the papers.

I sighed loudly and then my eyes found information and I gasped. "Oh my God, Jenny…Chelsea."

"What?" Jen asked, taking the papers from me quickly. "Damn—this really _is_ he M.O., isn't it?"

"Guys…Jen and I have to finish this thing with Chelsea." I said, her and I making eye contact and nodding at each other.

"You do _not_!" Kevin cried.

The pain in his voice even hurt _me_, so I couldn't _imagine_ what it was doing to Jen right then. Kevin didn't want his wife and mother of his children to go and put herself in danger and I understood that…but at the same time Jen and I could take care of ourselves. Jen and I had to do this…this was _our_ fight, and the boys were just going to have to understand that.

"But Kevin…we _do_." Jen told him. "This—everything she does is our fault."

"She goes around killing people—that isn't your fault." Dean protested.

_Should we tell them, Lan?_ Jen asked in my mind.

Sam nodded in agreement with Dean. "You don't control her or any of the things that she does, so you shouldn't take responsibility for them."

_I think it's time_. I replied in hers.

Kevin sighed loudly. "You shouldn't take responsibility for what she is and what she does—Sam is right."

_Then let's do it_. Jen told me.

"But we _are_ the reason she's a vampire." I said softly, biting my lip. _And it's out_.

"What?" The boys all asked at once.

Jen and I looked at each other and we knew that it was finally time to explain about what was going on with us. We had never really come out and told _anyone _the whole story about the night that Chelsea was murdered…the night she was turned. I felt _far _more responsible for Chelsea turning than Jen did, but that was how I _should_ have felt and I knew it.

_Jen and I had been training Chelsea for a good few months because she knew what we did and she wanted to be part of it and we couldn't stop her. So, it was better that she was prepared and out with us, then just running off without us and getting herself killed. She wasn't magical like us, but she was proving to be particularly good at fighting, so we had been taking her on hunts and protecting her as best as we could—we after all didn't want her dead._

"_Chelsea, Jen is going to do a spell to secure the perimeter, I'm going to save the boy, and you're going to sneak in and grab the rune." I explained to her slowly._

"_Shouldn't __**you**__ grab the rune, Lan?" Chelsea asked me. "You're the other one with powers in a place filled with vampires."_

_I knew that she had a point so I nodded and turned to Jen. "Jen, do you think there will be more people guarding the boy or the rune?"_

_Jen pondered that. "As important as they both are, probably the rune."_

"_Then I'll get the rune." I said at once with a nod._

_When all was agreed, the three of us set out towards the abandoned mill and looked up at it. It was large, and the rune was inside and we desperately needed it—it would unlock a mystery that we had been spending our whole __**lives**__ trying to figure out. The boy would be in the barn near us, and guarded by a good three or four vampires and we needed to get this done __**without**__ any casualties._

"_You sure you want to do this, Lan?" Jen asked me. "Letting Chels go in and all?"_

_I nodded at her. "She has it under control."_

_We both knew, however, that she didn't have it under control, and we exchanged worried glances. The thing about Chelsea was that sometimes she ran in without a care in the world and sooner or later that was going to get her taken out. Jen and I were always worried about protecting her and sometimes that got in the way of what we were doing, but she was stubborn…it was doing this with or without us…without us was __**not**__ an option._

"_I can handle it, guys, stop acting like my mother." Chelsea said and we knew she was __**beyond**__ annoyed with us._

"_I can't help it, Chels." Jen told her—she had always been the more motherly one._

_I looked at her and shrugged. "We don't want your safety jeopardized. Do you have the holy water and the stakes…well…something to decapitate them with?"_

"_Lan…how many times do I have to prove myself?" Chelsea asked, more than a little aggravated._

"_Look, as much as I want to make sure no one is missing anything, we have limited time to actually get in and then get back out safely." Jen reminded us._

_Chelsea and I nodded at her, and then headed off to our locations while Jen hid herself outside. I went into the mill and at first seeing no vampires was a plus, but when I found the fake rune, I knew it was all a trap. I should have let Chelsea come in here like the original plan had been. Instead, it was Chelsea who was now in danger and Jen or I had to get to her…and get to her __**now**__._

**Chelsea, get out now**!_ I said in her head._

**Lan, something's wrong**._ Jen said in mine. _**The spell isn't working**.

_Jen and I hurried to the barn, and when we got there, no more than eight vampires cornered Chelsea. Jen began to use her fireballs, but I hadn't mastered that again yet, and so I brought up force fields and used my stake, and we took them out. The problem was the boy was nowhere to be found and the rune was gone, but at least we'd taken out eight vamps…that was at least a plus._

"_You good?" I asked Chelsea, looking her over._

_She nodded and shook me off her arm softly. "Yeah, hey…they knew we were coming. I don't know how, but they did. They left this note, and I'm going to go…alone."_

"_Chels, that's not a good idea. It's just another trap." Jen warned her._

"_I agree with Jen—we have to do this together." I said and repressed the urge to tell her that she was being completely stupid about all of this._

"_But don't you see? If I'm bait as the fourth, then we're on our way to figuring out what they're going to do." Chelsea explained, pleading with us even though we both knew she didn't truly __**need**__ our permission because we would __**never**__ use our powers __**on**__ her. "They won't go after you two—you guys have powers."_

_Jen and I exchanged looks and then I turned to her first even though Jen's eyes pleaded with me. There was __**no**__ way that she was going to let Chelsea go, but I knew Chelsea had a point and we were running out of options. She was going to have to be bait and that was just the way that it was going to have to be._

"_All right." I told Chelsea with a nod._

_So that night, Jen and I kept a watch on Chelsea…until she evaded us. One of Jen's special tactics is getting away from people without a trace—a tactic she taught Chelsea. So now she was not only bait, but she was most certainly out on her own where Jen and I could no longer protect her, which meant that she could die tonight…we were so screwed._

"_Thanks for teaching her that." I told Jen bitterly._

_Jen shot me a look. "Thanks for letting her use herself as bait."_

"_It's all right…we'll find her." I told her, though I wasn't so sure—the girl hadn't left us anything to go off of except our feelings._

_When we found Chelsea, we hurried down the dark alley and we gasped, her body collapsed there. I touched her cold body first, and Jen threw up in a part of the alley about half a foot from us, but not sobbing…she wasn't a crier. The sound of her retching made me want to retch, but the worst part was that Chelsea's eyes fluttered open—she was one of them._

"_Fuck." I said aloud as Jen began to cry—our best friend had after all __**died**__._

"_Lan…" Jen was saying, backing away._

_I reached out to Jen and starting moving my hand wildly. "Where's the stake, Jen?"_

"_Why would you need a stake?" Chelsea asked, her hand gripping my throat and then she lifted me up into the air. "Am I worth taking seriously now?"_

"_Jen…" I choked out, throwing holy water at Chelsea's chest._

_Chelsea let go of me, but Jen stayed there, frozen in place as Chelsea screamed a little bit. She was definitely a vampire now, and all I could think about was that as much as it was my fault, Chelsea had to go…we __**had**__ to stake her. If only I could through to Jen—she was just frozen in place because this was our best friend…and we had gotten her turned into a monster…_

"_JEN!" I cried finally._

_I grabbed the stake from her, but when I turned around, Chelsea was gone, and I whirled on Jen. I didn't want to get angry with her but at the same time, I really wanted to have had this dealt with. Now Chelsea was gone, undead, and we were going to have to somehow tell that to her parents…somehow bury her body…a body we would never have._

"_Jen, you let her get away!" I yelled at her._

"_She's—she's Chels, Lan." Jen protested strongly._

"_She's not Chels anymore." I told her, closing my eyes. "Not at all."_

The boys looked at us as Jen and I looked at the table because it was everything we had needed to get off of our chests…well mostly. The two of us had been responsible for Chelsea and I had sent her out to her doom…and then Jen's love for Chelsea had made the staking process never happen. Then we both looked up and Jen was the first one to speak and I knew I had to let her.

"I—I hope now you understand now why we take this so seriously…well…personally." Jen said as Kevin gripped her hand. "Lan sent her into danger before she was ready, but when it came down to it, I couldn't stake her—couldn't let anyone stake her."

Dean sat down and I leaned on the chair, wishing he was still holding me, but he wasn't. This was a lot for him to take in, and at the same time I knew it wasn't Chelsea becoming a vampire that was getting to him…it was Jen and I wanting to do this alone. Also…there were behaviors in the past that Sam was voicing out in questions while Dean took my lack of communication much more personal.

"But if you knew, why were you so surprised that she called?" Sam asked me.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…that would bring us to actually a couple of things. 1) I didn't think Chelsea would honestly try to talk to us again, especially me since I would have killed her. 2) That would bring us to our parents…like your Dad."

"Dad?" Dean asked, looking up at me finally.

Jen nodded at him. "Yeah…we're not as uninformed as you think."

Sam raised his eyebrows. "What does our Dad have to do with anything?"

"John knew about the rune…so did Jen's father and my mother…it's…I guess you could call it a family heirloom." I explained to them.

"He what?" Sam asked skeptically.

I nodded at them. "I had heard of your father before—he was mentioned once in my mother's diary. I didn't realize it was your father because she only ever mentioned him by first name, but then Bethany and Marcus showed me his face, I met him, and he explained that he knew my mother…and I put it all together. When you guys met us at Chelsea's wake, that was…well…we knew the vampires were in on it all. We had been on the case for a while actually trying to get the rune back and then we killed the vampires and hit a dead end."

"And this—the only reason Chelsea is still alive is because she has the rune." Jen explained to them. "The rune is the answer to everything."

"What do you mean everything? Does it have to do with the demon?" Dean asked us hopefully.

I shrugged slowly. "I have no idea if it has to do with the demon. I just know that it has to do with Jen and me unlocking our powers. It's the key to our powers, and that's why Chelsea can't die—she's using it for power instead of answers…the key to killing her could potentially be there too…"

"Why didn't you tell us all of this?" Kevin asked, and Dean and Sam nodded.

"Well…it was hard." I told him slowly. "It all hurt."

"We—I don't think you understand how hard it is for us to cope with the fact that we did this to our best friend. This is _our_ battle—we didn't want you all to know, but…well…Lan and I decided a little bit ago to come clean." Jen explained to me.

I swallowed down the lump in my throat. "It would be wrong not to tell you when obviously the killings are starting up again and Jen and I need the rune now more than ever and it's finally close again—we finally have leads."

Kevin nodded slowly. "Well, I don't want you to go, but if this is a personal battle…then I'll allow it. You guys can take care of yourselves, and I know you'll go to all extremes to stay safe—that _you'll_ go to extremes to keep my wife alive, Lana."

Jen kissed him. "There's some breast milk in bottles in the fridge. Warm them up and then test the temperature on your wrist when the girls wake up, all right?"

"Of course." Kevin assured her.

"We're coming." Dean said, standing up.

I looked over at him and Jen bit her tongue—he was mine, and so convincing him and Sam that this was _our_ fight was _my_ job. It was for me to do and I was glad to do it even though I knew that Dean was going to be much more stubborn about this than Kevin. Kevin was still feeling shaky about it, but he knew how his wife worked, and he knew I'd sacrifice myself to let Jen live…so he had caved.

I set my hand on Dean's. "No, Dean, this is _our_ fight."

"Lan…" Sam protested with a nod. "It's better if we come."

I shook my head. "It really isn't. We know Chelsea better than you do."

"Really boys, let us do this on our own—don't make me make Lan and I untraceable, because I will if it becomes necessary." Jen warned them when she realized that Dean's eyes were warning us that he was _not_ backing down.

Dean looked me in the eye. "Can I talk to you alone for a moment?"

"It's all right, Lan, I need to go change and grab the stake guns." Jen said, and she left the room as Kevin and Sam went into the kitchen to talk.

I looked at Dean, and for the first time since I had met him, I could see and feel the fear coming off of him. He was worried about me, and he was worried that I didn't have this under control, and I appreciated his care and concern, but I really couldn't take him or Sam with us. There were things I had to deal with on my own and when I reached up to stroke his cheek, he nodded slowly and tried to swallow down his pain.

"I swear, you get yourself killed and I'm gonna—" He began, but I pressed my lips to his.

"You worry too much." I told him pulling him close to me. "Jen and I are going to be fine…I promise you that."

xxxx

Jen and I had found some evidence on where Chelsea was hiding and we were pretty sure it was only this easy because she was expecting us. It was off in farm territory, but we walked for the purpose of being inconspicuous and because even if it was a trap, having a car was _not_ going to help us. Chelsea had picked an old abandoned farmhouse, and we knew from a glow upstairs that the rune was on her—that she was luring us here intentionally and we needed to know why…

"That was a little presumptuous." Jen told me. "Bringing it like she would win the fight."

"Chelsea always thought that she had everything in the palm of her hands." I reminded her with a small laugh.

Jen nodded slowly. "Well…let's go."

"We'll be fine." I told her because she looked worried.

"If you say so." Jen said smiling a little and I matched it.

We both took a deep breath and then we headed towards the abandoned farmhouse and we paused at the door, but opened it up, sneaking inside. When we got into the house, we got in fine without any hassle, but then a vampire spotted us and Jen and I booked it into another room. The best thing to do at this point was to hide—it was all that we could do and we knew it.

"Remember when I said we were going to be fine? I was wrong." I told Jen as we hid under a table while the twenty or so vampires tried to find us.

Jen smiled a little. "Yeah, but it's a good thing I used that spell when you sensed the boys following us—it worked on the vampires too."

"All right," I told her with a sigh, "I think the best thing would be a good dose of fireballs…the problem is we don't want to burn the place down before we get our hands on the rune."

"Then we need a diversion." Jen said with an affirmative nod.

I sighed and nodded in agreement. "Yeah…so I'll be bait."

"Lan…I think I should be bait." Jen told me slowly. "My powers are stronger than yours, and you know for a fact that Chelsea is where the rune is, so you're more likely to get hurt—I can take the vampires, Lan, and you know it. I'm practically as good at taking out vampires as I am with researching."

I took a deep breath. "I know you are but at the same time I don't want you to wind up hurt in any way…once they know I'm at the rune, they'll forget about you and come for me…let's hope that's how it will go."

"Exactly." Jen nodded at me. "So go."

"All right." I agreed, and then Jen went charging out from under the table and I took out a few vamps on my way to Chelsea.

When I got to the upstairs room, my eyes rested on an old, glowing tablet and I knew that this is where I needed to be. I smiled but when I reached out to touch it, Chelsea's hand shot out and she threw me across the room. I should have been expecting it since I was expecting her to be in the room, but I so close to the rune and I needed it—it held the key to _everything_.

I hit the wall hard and coughed. "Nice to see you again too, Chels."

"Come for your precious rune?" She asked me with a grin on her face.

I smiled and stood up. "Yeah, and with new powers."

"Yeah, I know you embraced your inner witch," Chelsea replied with a laugh, "but you can't stand up to the power I have now, Lan. You'll have to get over that, all right?"

I flicked my wrist and Chelsea flew up against the opposite wall, surprised, but not surprised enough. I tried to get the rune to fly towards me, but it was pretty damned impervious to magic and that thought made me feel pretty doomed. Knowing this now, I went for the rune, but felt a fist fly up into my jaw, the other vampires coming into the room, Jen following them and taking them out with grace.

"You think you can defeat all of us?" Chelsea asked, grabbing the rune and jumping out of the window.

I shot a fireball at a nearby vampire. "Jen…plan 'B'."

Jen nodded, and we shot fireballs at the vampires, hurrying out of the house and then turning around and looking at the house as it went up in flames. Then we hurried away from it in the way we thought Chelsea had gone, and the house exploded, the shock sending us both face first into the dirt. Then we both felt it—Chelsea's presence in the opposite direction.

Jen and I turned over and looked in the direction of Chelsea, and we all stared at each other across the flames since the house was no more than burning rubble now. She gave us a knowing smile, and held up the rune, and then with the blink of an eye, she was gone again. That was it…one wrong move and everything was gone again just like that…she was proving to us that she had gotten stronger and we could no longer deny that she was now a formidable foe.

"What did we learn from this?" I asked Jen slowly.

Jen lay down in the grass and I followed suit. She looked up at the sky and I ran my fingers through my hair, tasting the blood in my mouth and wishing we had come out better than we have. We were back at the beginning…except that we knew that now Chelsea was more powerful…and she was having fun testing us and teasing us.

"We learned that Chelsea thinks she has the upper hand." Jen explained to me.

I turned to her, completely surprised. "You called her Chelsea."

"You have blood on your mouth." She told me, looking at me too, and I knew she was choosing to ignore the fact that her not calling Chelsea by our nickname for her, was showing that things had changed for her too.

xxxx

I was relaxing on the couch when we got back to the house, and Jen and Kevin had gone out for dinner while Sam went back to looking for Ava, and the girls were sleeping in their cribs upstairs. Dean had been occupying his time doing lots of little random things, and had even gotten out some Christmas boxes, which was really helpful whether he had realized that or not. The remote was in my hand and I was flipping through various channels while propped up on my elbow.

"Lanni?" Dean asked me.

I looked up and curled up more as he sat on the couch near my feet, looking at me like he had something to say. When we had gotten back, Jen and I had explained to the boys about how everything had gone, and then slipped into silence for a bit. Then Kevin had gotten her to promise she'd go to dinner with him and I had promised to look after the girls, who were currently sleeping.

I swallowed. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry Chelsea got away again." He said softly.

I nodded at him. "Me too."

He glanced at me and then took a breath. "Hey…are you okay? Because you've been strange since you got back."

"Yes, but, I can't believe how strong she's getting." I admitted to him slowly.

I sat up and turned off the television, sitting Indian style and Dean matched my position and reached out to touch my lip, and I cringed slightly. It was still rather painful—it had been cut worse than I had realized at first and though healing, it was still kind of tender. Dean frowned at my flinch and reached out to stroke my hair, looking me over and then resting his eyes back on mine.

"Did Chelsea do this to you?" He asked me.

I shrugged. "She's done it before."

"That's not the point." He told me with a sigh.

I took his hand and kissed it. "I'm fine. Really."

He gave me a look. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." I assured him.

When I answered that, he pulled me onto his lap and softly pressed his lips to mine, holding me to him before he laid me down on the couch and then cuddled up with me, his head on my stomach. He ran his fingers along the material of my t-shirt in circular motions, and then I turned the television back on and we watched 'Stranger Than Fiction', and then 'American Dreamz' until Kaydence cried and we had to shift so I could get up and get her.

I hurried into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle, and then Dean came and I turned to him and smiled when he took it from me and got the pot ready to put water into it. I went upstairs after kissing him swiftly, and picked Kaydence up out of her crib, amazed that Minah wasn't up. I bounced her up and down a bit and carried her downstairs, walking into the kitchen and swinging her around a bit like a plane, making her smile.

"What's Uncle Dean doing?" I asked her in a baby voice.

Dean smiled at me as I made silly, smiling faces at Kaydence, and I danced a bit with her after turning on the radio on the counter. It was playing oldies, and so I sung a bit and bounced Kaydence around while Dean warmed the bottle up and then handed the bottle to me. I looked at him and Kaydence held her hands out for the bottle, but I pulled back a bit and shook my head at him, giving him a look.

"Test it first." I told him.

He raised an eyebrow. "Not a chance."

I sighed and held out Kaydence to him. "Then take Kaydee."

Dean seemed unsure, but he wanted to hold Kaydence much more than he wanted to test out Jen's warm breast milk on his wrist. So he took her and she took to him immediately as I tested the temperature and smiled—it was perfect for her. Dean glanced at her, a slight smile on his face, and then he wiped the smile off of his face when he saw I had noticed, and was going to give Kaydence back to me, but I shook my head, handing him the bottle.

"You can do it." I told him.

"Lanni…" He began to protest.

"Dean…she's not going to bite, and she's getting fussy again." I said as she reached for the bottle.

Dean nodded and took the bottle, gently trying to put it into Kaydence's mouth, but she was being stubborn so I got it in her mouth and she drank as Dean's and my hands switched, and he looked down at her as she made funny, happy faces at him. I began to warm up another bottle, amazed at the feelings coursing through me—he was going to be a great father someday…but how was I supposed to give him that? I knew that was part of why he was so reluctant about it too…he was afraid of hurting me by being fatherly…but he wasn't _trying_ to hurt me…it was just happening that way and he couldn't protect me from those feelings.

"That's Minah." I said as she let out a soft cry on cue.

"I've got this under control." Dean told me, his eyes still on Kaydence's face, her eyes on his as she suckled the rubber nipple.

I smiled and nodded. "You really do."

I went upstairs to get Minah and then came down to feed her, watching as Dean put Kaydence's bottle in the sink and then put her up on his shoulder and patted her back soft and firm. He glanced at me as I made an amused face and raised my eyebrows, wondering where on Earth he learned how to do that! It wasn't like he had _any_ experience with children of _any_ kind…

"Where'd you learn to do that?" I asked him as I got Minah her bottle.

Dean blushed a little. "I've watched you and Jen."

I nodded at him, and when the girls were fed and burped, we set them in their play pen, and watched as they played with their flashing light toys. They were honestly some of the cutest kids that I had ever seen, and I smiled at Dean when he took my hand and kissed it. Even if part of me was a little upset because mine and Dean's future would never be like this, it was a fun night, and Dean had actually enjoyed himself.

"You're really good with them." He said, pulling me closer.

I smiled at him. "Amazingly, so are you."

He smiled too and kissed me softly, just as the front door opened and Jen and Kevin came inside, both of them coming in and smiling at their kids in the playpen. The two girls hadn't wanted to go back to sleep, but they would eventually, and would hopefully sleep for their parents through the night. Jen started to talk to them as Kevin looked at her lovingly, and I smiled at them—I loved them and their relationship with each other so much I didn't know what to do about it.

"Dean and I fed and burped them." I told them.

Kevin smiled. "Perfect."

"How was dinner?" Dean asked them, making small talk since he actually genuinely like them and cared about whether or not their night was good.

"It was fantastic." Jen told us and then she smiled at him. "You know, while you're looking for Ava, you guys should get out by yourselves sometime."

Dean nodded at them. "Maybe."

"You know, I'm kind of tired." I told her. "I think I'll head on up to bed. It's been a long day and a long night and I'm exhausted."

"Understandable. Hey…tomorrow do you want to go ahead and go by your house and check on things?" Jen asked me. "I mean we're still doing cookies at _your_ house, right?"

I smiled at her genuinely. "I would like that."

"Okay…good night." Jen told me merrily.

"Night, Jenny." I replied, kissing her cheek as she kissed mine.

I went upstairs and got dressed into pajama pants and a tank top, fixing my hair and making sure it was pulled back, and then I looked over at Dean's bag. It was just sitting there untouched, and so I opened it and pulled out the baby name book. He kept it under everything else, but I knew that he had one because I had found it a couple of months ago. He had a page bookmarked with a piece of paper with names on it he liked…and I had picked between his top unisex names and named Casey that way.

I got under the covers and looked at it, flipping through and finding names that I liked even though part of me was wondering why I was putting myself through this. It was only reminding me that this was something I'd never get to do…I couldn't _have _children…I could _give _Dean children…he and I were going to be stuck just the way we were forever. I mean there were other ways to have children in my position, but I couldn't see Dean even _thinking _about that…I mean it wasn't like he _wanted _to settle down…right? Of course right.

When I heard footsteps coming towards the room, I hid the book under my pillow and snuggled farther under the covers. I certainly didn't want Dean to find me looking through baby books after everything we'd been through the last few days, and I smiled up at him as he came in and then watched him as he got dressed, smiling when he got under the covers with me and held me to him. He kissed my temple and nuzzled my face with his nose, smiling at me and then taking a deep breath, sobering a bit.

"You want a baby, don't you?" Dean asked me softly.

I turned my head and made eye contact with him. "How did you know?"

"There's a lump under your pillow…and I can see the book pages." He added pointing at the book.

I sighed and took the book out and then set it on the bedside table. "You were just…so great with Kaydee. You were like—a natural, whether you want to admit it or not."

"Lanni…" He said, and trailed off, taking a breath and then nodded like he was making a decision, "there are other ways to have a baby."

I blinked at him, sitting up and then turning to look down at him, completely unaware of what my exact feeling was right then. What was he saying? What did he mean? Where was he going with this? Why couldn't I get my words to work?

"I mean there are surrogates." He told me slowly.

I smiled at him and kissed him softly. "Don't…I'm surprised and flattered that you've thought about procreating with me…but let's focus on killing the demon before we think about kids."

"I thought you wanted this…a more settled down me." Dean told me, sitting up and shrugging. "I mean I'm tried of this job, Lanni…and if I was going to stop for anyone…it would be you."

I kissed him softly, pouring myself into him because that was by far the cutest thing that he had ever said to me—the _sweetest _most _romantic _thing he had ever said to me. I wanted him just the way that he was and if that meant that he and I weren't having kids, then we weren't having kids. He wanted me, I wanted him, and eventually when the demon was defeated we'd come back to this…there was no use dwelling on it anymore…Dean was perfect. He was perfect for me just the way that he was and I was done feeling bad about things…I was done living in the past and being filled with regret…he was my perfect match.

"What are you doing?" Dean chuckled as my hands slipped down his body.

I shrugged a little. "I'm physically proving to you how much I love you, Dean Winchester. Now shut the yap and kiss me."

Dean chuckled again, but kissed me in response.

xxxx

Christmas Eve was amazingly better than I thought it was going to be. Sam and Dean weren't really into the Christmas spirit, but they weren't ruining it for me. In fact, Sam offered to help Jen and me with cookies while Dean helped Kevin to put the ornaments on the tree…or handed Kevin the ornaments so _he_ could put them on the tree. Jen got kind of annoyed as the night wore on because Sam and I kept eating the cookie dough and she was so OCD about it.

Then the boys and I stayed at my house and I loved that they didn't question me on what I believed—even though there were a few jokes from Dean. He honestly wouldn't have been him had he _not_ made a joke, and I was all right with that…it was my holiday and I was going to enjoy it. The best part about Christmas was waking up Christmas morning and knowing that I was going to get to spend the day with Jen…and of course Kevin, Sam and Dean.

"Merry Christmas." I said as I opened my eyes that morning, glancing over at the clock. "Up, up, up!"

Dean groaned and turned to look at the clock. "Not at 6 o'clock in the morning, Lanni."

"Then you and Sam can hang out _all_ by yourselves." I told him and got out of the bed, hurrying to get dressed. "Because it is Christmas and Jen and I have a whole morning planned before her parents show up to do Christmas with their son-in-law, granddaughters, and in-laws. So…up and at 'em, or make breakfast for yourself."

"Make breakfast for _myself_?" Dean asked me, turning to look at me. "Seriously?"

I shrugged and changed my bra, my jeans and panties already changed and Dean grunted a little which made me laugh. It was Christmas, and his present had nothing to do with my flesh, so he could grunt all he wanted, but he had two options and _only_ two options. There was only _one_ time on Christmas that I got to spend with friends and 'family' and that was Christmas morning, so when I pulled my shirt on and gave him a look, he sighed and nodded at me, making me beam.

"Fine…fine…I'm getting up and coming with you." Dean told me.

I clapped my hands excitedly and then I hurried downstairs and started to gather up the presents for Jen, Kevin and the girls. Sam came downstairs before Dean did and kissed the top of my head, telling me 'Merry Christmas' and making sure I'd noticed that the cookies were gone, the milk had been drunk, and the stockings had things in them. I took a deep breath and I looked him in the eye, Dean coming down the stairs as I started to speak to Sam.

"You didn't…you guys didn't _do_ any of that…did you?" I asked him.

Sam shook his head as Dean said, "Why would we ruin this for you?"

"And that is hat I like to hear. Now grab your coats, put your shoes and socks on and get moving!" I exclaimed, bustling around and making sure everything was together.

Sam and Dean chuckled and then we headed straight for Jen's, her opening up the door with Minah in a Christmas outfit in her arms, and hugged us all, Kevin holding Kaydence in a similar outfit and smiling at us. Kevin was _also_ big on Christmas, and he handed Kaydence to me and then helped the boys to get all of the presents assembled since we would get to them _after_ breakfast.

"Okay, it's time for food." I said and Jen smiled and handed Minah over to Sam, who was more than happy to take her. "What should we make, Jenny?"

Jen smiled at me. "Waffles."

"Anything! Just feed me!" Dean said and Sam rolled his eyes as I laughed.

"Well you hear my Caveman…he needs food." I told her.

Jen nodded and smiled at me, both of us heading into the kitchen and making a huge Christmas breakfast. Christmas at Jen's was always a pot luck, so she never had to do much cooking, so breakfast was a perfect tradition and everyone seemed so happy about it once they were all fed. Then we worked on the present exchange and Jen nudged me in the ribs with her elbow, making me look over at Dean who had Kaydence in his arms because she wouldn't let anyone else hold her after a while.

"So is this Christmas tolerable?" I asked Sam and Dean.

Sam smiled at me. "Most definitely."

"Good, I'm glad." I told them with a smile. "Because you guys have to tough the rest of the day out with me, just so you know."

"I think we _might_ be able to handle that." Dean told me and laughed when I rolled my eyes and Kaydence grabbed at his chin. "Here, Sammy."

Dean handed Kaydence over to Sam and I looked up at Dean with raised eyebrows when he stood and held his hand out to me. I took it and followed him out of the room, smiling at him and wondering what was up when he handed me a small wrapped package with a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup on top and I laughed. It was definitely my favorite chocolate candy beside 100 Grand, and I was kind of surprised that he had gotten me a Christmas present…since he had said he didn't _do_ Christmas.

"But…I thought Christmas wasn't your thing." I told him softly.

He smiled at me and tucked some hair behind my ear. "Yeah, but it's _your_ thing…and besides you got me that new duffle with the new shirt and that damn expensive watch and I can't _not_ give you something after that."

"Wow, I love you." I said, setting the Reese's on the cabinet and then opening up the package, my eyes widening when I opened up the jewelry box. "Dean…how in the world did you even _afford_ this?"

"It's going to take all of the romance out of it, but honestly? I hustled some pool and then bought you the bracelet. Also, I plan on adding a charm to it each Christmas since Christmas is your favorite holiday." He explained and then sighed when I kissed him. "God, you're going to make this mushy."

I giggled. "I can't help it—you went all romantic on me and I'm gonna have to tease."

"So _this_ is what this love stuff gets me?" Dean asked me, smiling because he loved it even though he 'couldn't' show it.

"Baby…you bought me jewelry so I kinda have to start being all clingy and needy, don't I?" I asked him playfully. "I'm not really that girl…"

He smirked at me. "Okay, _only_ in the bedroom…that could work, right?"

"Merry Christmas, Dean." I told him, kissing him softly after rolling my eyes and laughing at his response.

"Merry Christmas, Lanni." He replied, and when he kissed me, I knew that no matter what, this was _exactly_ where I belonged…right in his arms.

**Note: Yeah, it was fluffy with a twinge of sadness…its to offset all the angst next chapter. And what the eff is up with the rune? THAT…is a question that will be answered later, I promise. It is a BIG deal, and it has a major role to play. Side note? This is the longest chapter yet: 32 pages…Holy Jesus. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	32. She's Alive

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay this chapter is IMPORTANT!**

**Just wanted that known, and HAPPY NEW YEAR!**

**So…WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Before we left a few mornings later to go ahead and take a lead on Ava, Dean and I had gotten dressed and were in quite happy moods until we went down to the kitchen and heard yelling. Thankfully it wasn't _our_ yelling, but at the same time it ripped me apart to hear _Jen_ and _Kevin_ fighting with each other and I sighed, motioning to Dean to stop moving and stay hidden.

"No, Kevin! I refuse!" Jen cried, and she was _definitely_ upset.

Kevin sighed loudly. "But Jen, I don't see why we can't have another baby."

I made a face like I had been hit in the gut and Dean raised an eyebrow at me. Yeah, this fight was going to last for a while and it was definitely not our place to be here. Jen and Kevin were going to have to figure this one out on their own…and Jen was going to win the argument so Kevin was going to have to be a good loser about it.

"What?" Dean whispered.

"She only wants two." I whispered back. "That and she didn't want twins to being with—she's always had this vision of a daughter and a son and them being at least four years apart…that didn't happen and she's already done."

Dean nodded at me. "Oh…well when we get there—and someday we will—how many do you want?"

"If we didn't have to go right now, I would _ravish _you…and for the record, that's debatable."

"Kevin, the girls were practically _just_ born! I am _not_ a baby producing machine!" Jen said, and Dean and I heard some banging around of pots and pans.

"I think they might like some playmates." Kevin protested.

"Yeah, maybe when they're in kindergarten we can have this conversation again." Jen told him. "You wanted eggs?"

Kevin sighed loudly once again. "Jenny…"

"One more word about kids and you're making these damn eggs yourself." Jen warned and I went into the kitchen, Dean following me.

I was pretty sure Jen needed to have a relief in the conversation so Dean and I walked into the kitchen and Kevin sighed when he saw us. He knew as well as I did that they had definitely been yelling loud enough for everyone to hear them, and he was embarrassed about it and yet upset. I had known Kevin for long enough to know when he was annoyed that he had been interrupted—silly boy had wanted to keep fighting with Jen while she was cooking his food? Bad idea…

"Good morning." I said cheerfully, a smile plastered on my face, Dean standing behind me, hands on his hips.

"Don't pretend that you didn't hear that." Jen shot at me, but she smiled at us as Dean wrapped his arms around me from behind as I leaned on the counter. "You know, I think you're shaping up into a man, Dean."

Dean laughed at that. "Oh, so I wasn't a man before?"

"You know, the last time you were here…" Kevin began, but stopped because he wasn't going to talk to Jen about Sam and me even though Jen knew.

"She was what?" Dean asked him. "Acting like she was with Sam?"

"Dean!" Kevin hissed but Jen waved it off.

Jen shrugged and glanced at the skillet. "I knew, Kevin. Don't worry about it. Wait…you knew and you didn't tell me?"

Kevin blushed and shrugged. "Well…I just…I didn't want to hurt you."

"So I was the last one to know?" Jen asked and threw her hands up into the air. "Like always!"

"Actually, _I_ was the last one to know." Dean admitted, pulling me closer to him possessively and yet gently.

I knew it shouldn't have made me as happy as it had, but Dean was jealous and he was trying to claim me as his. Honestly, that was what I wanted, and I was glad that he was feeling like he had to mark his territory—I didn't mind being marked by him in the slightest. He was my boyfriend, and he was possessive, and he was protective, and he was romantic, and he was cheeky…and all if it had an underlying care and love.

Jen looked at him. "When did you find out?"

"At the hospital." Dean told her. "And it was all in the way Sammy looked at her."

"Wow…can we not talk about this anymore?" I asked them all and then turned to see Sam come into the kitchen.

"Guys, I'm ready. Thank you so much for your hospitality, Kevin." Sam told him and then looked at Jen. "And thank you for the home cooked meals, Jenny."

Dean nodded to her. "That was definitely a plus."

"You guys are always welcome." Jen said with a big smile on her face and then pointed at me. "Don't be strangers—I want to see this girl a _lot_."

I laughed and hugged Jen just as Minah started to cry, Jen going upstairs to get her, and then the three of us headed out to follow Sam's lead, which took us to Peoria, Illinois. During the drive I had been trying to tell Jen over IM that Kevin wanting more kids wasn't necessarily a bad thing—but she had every right to be annoyed. That was when she told me that she was certain we would find Ava. However, even with the missing persons report concerning Ava, we were at another dead end.

"Okay, thanks, Ellen." Sam said, and hung up the phone as I lay on the motel bed and looked up at the ceiling while Jen thought of a reply to the last thing I had sent her.

Dean came into the room. "What did she have to say?"

"She got nothing. Me, I've been checking every database I can think of, federal, state, and local. No one's heard anything about Ava. She just…into thin air, you know? What about you?" Sam asked with hope in his voice.

"No, same as before. Sorry, man." Dean answered.

Sam looked at me. "Do you have anything besides the lowdown on Jen and Kevin fighting?"

"Besides Jen refusing to have sex with Kevin until he decides not to have anymore kids just yet, I have nothing. I can't trace Ava anywhere, and believe me, I _have_ tried—I can't even sense her…I'm so sorry, Sammy." I told him lovingly.

"Yeah. Ellen did have one thing: a hotel in Cornwall, Connecticut. Two freak accidents in the past three weeks." Sam told us.

I looked up at him and raised my eyebrows because it sounded to me like this had to do with a hunt…not with Ava. Was Sammy honestly looking to do a hunt instead of working on getting Ava back? Why in the world would he do that when he had been so persistent with this? I mean I knew we were hitting dead end after dead end, but even so…Sammy never really went about finding the hunts…

"Yeah, what's that have to do with Ava?" Dean asked, sitting on the bed next to me, making me move to allow the change in weight.

"It's a job. I mean a lady drowned in the bathtub. Then a few days ago, a guy falls down the stairs, head turns a complete 180, which isn't exactly normal, you know? Look, I don't know, Dean, it might be nothing, but I told Ellen we'd think about checking it out." Sam told him.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "You did?"

"Yeah…you seem surprised." Sam said with a look on his face.

"Yeah, it's just, you know…not the patented Sam Winchester way, is it?" Dean told him as I logged off and closed my laptop since Jen had logged off.

Sam looked at him. "What way is that?"

"Just figured after Ava, there'd be, uh, you know, more angst and droopy music and staring out the rainy windows. Yeah, I'll shut up now." Dean said as I laughed and Sam sent him a look.

"That would make a cute picture though, Sammy, you have to admit." I told him. "I mean you all broody and sitting by a window looking out at the rain, sappy songs on…that's hot."

Dean elbowed me in the ribs and Sam rolled his eyes a little, laughing and obviously flattered I thought he was hot broody. I knew I probably shouldn't have said it out loud with Dean right there, but I had figured that it was harmless because it wasn't like I was _leaving_ Dean for Sam. I was just pointing out that Sam was attractive in his own ways and he needed the reassurance since he was having a hard time lately.

"Look, I'm the one who told her to go back home. Now her fiancé's dead, and some demon has taken her off to God knows where, you know? We've been looking for a month now. We got nothing. So I'm not giving up on her, but I'm not gonna let other people die, either. We got to save as many people as we can." Sam explained to him.

Dean smirked at him. "Wow, that attitude is just _way_ too healthy for me. I'm officially uncomfortable now, thank you. Alright, call Ellen—tell her we'll take it."

"Did you come bearing gifts?" I asked Dean as Sam called Ellen my face lighting up as we played this little game.

Dean smiled at me. "Maybe."

"Were they the coffee kind?" I asked him hopefully batting my eyelashes and sitting with my legs crossed, looking at him.

Dean shook his head. "No, but…they are of a good variety."

I raised an eyebrow. "For some reason, I just don't want to know."

I got off of the bed and Dean opened my laptop making me frown a little and at the same time laugh. Dean wasn't exactly the most technological person in the world, and he looked so cute confused that I couldn't be mad. At first I was honestly a little annoyed because this didn't seem like the 'surprise' he had for me, but at the same time, how can you be annoyed with someone as cute as Dean Winchester?

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"I'm talking to Kevin." Dean said with a shrug. "How do you work this?"

I smiled and laughed. "You double click on his name and then you type to him if you're trying to talk to him on IM."

"I knew that, Sherlock." He said with a shrug like he knew what he was doing.

"Then why do you want to know?" I asked with a smirk.

Dean rolled his eyes. "What's this…right here?"

I knelt on the bed, leaning over to look, and then Dean grabbed me, and tickled me, pinning me to the bed as I laughed. He swooped in to kiss my neck, and I smiled at him when he pulled back and stroked my hair. I loved it when he was like this, and at the same time I knew that part of him as wondering why in the world he was being so adorable like this with a girl.

"You are something else, you know that?" I asked him softly.

Dean smiled and kissed me. "Yeah, I know."

"You two ready?" Sam asked with a laugh when he came back into the room.

I nodded and Dean got off of me, both of us grabbing our coats and our duffels and heading to the hotel where the deaths had been happening. It actually looked homey and I really looked forward to being in a hotel instead of a motel—especially an old one like this. At the same time…there was a presence here I hadn't felt in a _very_ long time and it was starting to make me a little paranoid.

"Dude, this is sweet. I never get to work jobs like this!" Dean exclaimed merrily.

I looked over at him. "Like what?"

"Old school haunted houses, you know? Fog, secret passageways, sissy British accents. Might even run into Fred and Daphne while we're inside. Mmm, Daphne…love her." Dean said his eyes a little lazy with want.

"Me too." I admitted with a laugh and a nod.

"I mean I guess I could get into that, but this is where you say that you love Fred." Dean told me. "That would make us even more compatible."

I turned to him. "Not that you and Fred don't have a _lot _in common, but see, I always wanted to dress up as Daphne for Halloween. Wear those shiny, purple go-go boots and everything."

Dean smirked and then winked at me. "Really?"

"Yeah, and it was hella fun when I got to." I said playfully, turning around and following Sam up the steps.

Dean chuckled at that and then followed close behind us, Sam stopping me with his arm and then pointing. I looked at where his finger was pointing and noticed the pattern, and it looked familiar, making me look around once again. Something was going on here and I felt like I was connected to it…maybe part of it, but I didn't know why or how.

"I'm not so sure haunted is the problem." Sam said aloud.

Dean looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"You see this pattern here? That's a quincunx. It's a five-spot." Sam explained to him.

"Five-spot." Dean said as I looked up and then swallowed and slowly looked back up at the boys when I saw nothing.

"Yeah." Sam answered.

I decided to focus on the hunt. "It's for hoodoo spell work, isn't it?"

"Right. Yeah, you fill this thing with bloodweed and you've got a powerful charm to ward off enemies." Sam replied with a nod.

"Except I don't see any bloodweed. Don't you think this place is a little too white-meat for hoodoo?" Dean asked him.

"Maybe." I shrugged and then reached into my pocket and gasped. "Oh! I need to grab my phone out of the car."

"It's not in your pocket?" Dean asked.

I shook my head. "No, I must have left it on the seat after calling Jen. I'll be in, in a moment—don't worry."

I ran to the car and smiled when it was sitting there right on the backseat where I had left it, and I shoved it into my pocket and locked the car up. I swallowed though because the feeling of the familiar presence was _still_ there, and I turned to the hotel and looked up at a window, and I could have sworn that I had seen the face of a girl who reminded me of me. Shaking the thought away as the curtains closed quickly, I then went into the hotel just in time to see the woman talking to Sam and Dean.

"Well, congratulations, you could be some of our final guests." The hotel manager said.

"Well, sounds vaguely ominous." Dean replied with a small smile.

"No, I'm sorry. I mean we're closing at the end of the month. Let me guess. You guys are here antiquing?" She asked them with a smile, trying to be hospitable after her little slip up before.

Dean smiled at her. "How'd you know?"

"You just look the type. So, a king-size bed?" The woman asked them.

"What? No. No, uh, no, no. We're…we're…two singles. We're just brothers and we have a companion coming." Sam added in a flustered voice as I laughed.

"Yeah." Dean assured her.

For some reason it was honestly _hilarious_ to me that people assumed that Sam and Dean were into each other romantically. Actually, I could honestly see it, but at the same time that was kind of awkward…it wouldn't just be _homosexuality_ for them…it would be _incest_. So…awkward…but for me, _hilarious_.

"Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry." The woman told them.

"What did you mean that we looked the type?" Dean asked, much more interested in knowing that then being mistaken of being with his brother.

Sam stepped in though. "You know, um, speaking of antiques, you've a…you've a really interesting urn on the front porch. Where did you get that?"

"You know, I've no idea. It's been there forever. Here you go, Mr. Mahogoff. You'll be staying in room 237. Sherwin, could you show these gentlemen to their rooms?" The woman asked them.

"Let me guess…antiquers?" The old man asked.

I laughed a little more and went up over near the boys as Sherman started to lead them to their room. I went up to the woman at the front desk and gave her a big welcoming smile and she smiled back.

"Welcome." The woman told me.

I smiled and pointed after the boys. "Good morning. I'm Lana—I'm with them."

"Oh!" The woman exclaimed and she blushed a little. "I'm Susan. I hope they don't take what I said to heart."

I waved it off and laughed. "It's happened to them before."

"Well I guess you can go on up then." Susan said with a nod.

"Thanks." I told her, and hurried up after the boys, passing Sherwin on the way to the room and smiling at him. "I hope they didn't cheap out on you."

Sherwin smiled at me. "Not at all, Miss."

"Good." I said, and opened the door, going into the room and then sighing as the boys seemed to do their own thing. "So this is _super_ exciting. Who wants to go somewhere?"

The boys looked up at me, glad I was there and safe, and at the same time kind of annoyed that I was implying that they were being boring. Honestly, I was trying to shake off whatever was going on with me, and for that, I would need to keep myself occupied. To do that, I could _not_ do research—I could still be easily distracted by research and I knew it a little _too_ well.

"I thought we were on a case." Sam told me.

"Yes, but you two are…Dean is sharpening a knife and you're checking e-mail. That's pretty normal." I said with a shrug.

"You seem…strange, Lanni." Dean told me, setting the knife down and coming up to me.

"Why would I seem strange?" I asked him.

He rested his hands on my hips and I smiled a little. "You're just acting flustered—at least more than normal."

I sighed loudly and wrapped my arms around his neck because I was kind of tired of keeping things from him. At the same time, I really wasn't sure how what I was going to say was going to sound coming out of my mouth. Still, if anyone was going to help me with this, it was Sam and Dean so there was really nothing to lose.

I took a deep breath. "Look…I saw something…something I can't explain."

"Welcome to the job, Lan." Sam said with a smile.

"Har, har, Sammy. I meant—never mind." I told him and rolled my eyes.

I kissed Dean swiftly and then I pulled away and Sam and I began to research while Dean looked around, and saw a dress displayed on the bedroom wall. It was kind of pretty, but it was also kind of awkward to have a random dress just hanging on the wall. Dean made a face and I smiled a little, feeling a little better, but still feeling like I needed to figure out who in the Hell that girl in the window was.

"What the…?" Dean asked, looking straight at the dress.

Sam looked up. "What?"

"That's normal. Why the hell would anyone stay here? I'm amazed they kept in business this long." Dean said and I rolled my eyes.

"Alright, victim number one: Joan Edison, 43 years old, a realtor handling the sale of the hotel. And victim number two was Larry Williams, moving some stuff out to goodwill." Sam explained slowly.

I nodded at that. "Well there's a connection: both tied up in shutting the place down."

"Yeah, maybe someone doesn't want to leave, and they're using hoodoo to fight back." Sam suggested.

Dean nodded. "Who do you think our witch doctor is? That Susan lady?"

"Doesn't seem likely, I mean she's the one selling." Sam reminded him.

Dean nodded and I took a deep breath and I knew that there had to be something else going on here. I mean obviously _someone_ was behind the hoodoo, and there were definitely some weird vibes in this place, but I was distracted…why did that girl look _so_ familiar to me? Why did I feel like I'd sensed her before? Who _was_ she?

"So, what, then, Sherwin?" Dean asked him.

I shook my head. "I really doubt it was Sherwin—the guy doesn't give off any negative vibes to me."

"Of course, the most troubling question is, why do these people assume we're gay?" Dean asked Sam and gave me a look when I giggled and shrugged.

"Oh, you are kind of butch. Probably think you're over compensating." Sam told him.

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed, a grin on my face. "I can _totally_ see that!"

Dean pointed at me. "You are _not_ funny right now."

"Oh, yes it was. Besides, Susan knows I'm here so I'm sure she thinks that Sam is at least getting something since everyone thinks he and I are an item." I told Dean with a playful shrug.

xxxx

I had wanted to check out the building, but I wasn't sure where to look so I was just at that place where I had to pick something and hope it worked out in the end. I mean maybe there was just some random guest that just lurking around, but she had looked so familiar…yes, I was focusing on the girl and not on the case. It was just _so_ strange and the presence felt _so_ familiar—like something lost…like something from my past.

"Lanni?" Dean asked me.

I shook my head and smiled. "Yeah?"

"You look out of it." He said, getting onto the bed and lying down next to me.

"It's nothing, just feelings." I explained to him, snuggling into him when he automatically wrapped his arms around me.

Dean nodded and kissed the top of my head. "Is it the full moon?"

"Not that I know of, it's just a random feeling." I told him.

"We want to look around." Dean told me after a pause.

I nodded and kissed him swiftly, pressing myself up against him a little more than I should have. I knew we had a hunt to do, and I knew I needed to figure out who the girl was before I drove myself crazy, but he was right there being all affectionate and caring. When he deepened the kiss though and his fingers slipped down to the bottom of my shirt and started to go under it, I got off of the bed and smiled at him.

"Let's go." I told him, nodding when he groaned in protest. "I _swear_ I'll make it up to you later, all right, Baby?"

He sighed and nodded, getting up and taking my hand as I started to leave, turning me to face him and I looked him in the eyes. He looked really concerned and then he stroked my cheek, leaning down and kissed me again. There was so much care and love and want in it, and I just waited until he pulled back and looked at me again.

"You've been a little 'hit and run' with the kisses lately." Dean told me softly.

I smiled a little and kissed him again, wrapping my arms around him and pouring a little more of myself into him than I had been lately. He smiled into the kiss, pulling me closer, and then Sam knocked a book over and Dean and I pulled away laughing. We had a hunt to do and Sam was keeping us on our toes and we needed the extra help.

"Let's look around." I told him, and Dean kissed me again swiftly before we followed Sam out of the door and wandered around the halls for a bit.

"Hey. Look at that. More hoodoo." Sam told us as he noticed a room.

"Look at that." Dean said, pointing out a vase with the same symbol on it as the urn Sam pointed out.

We went to knock on Susan's (the hotel owner) door so we could ask her some more about the hotel and about the deaths and I tried to focus. It was hard for me, but I was pulling it off and when Susan answered her door almost immediately, I was able to flash her a smile and make it convincing.

"Is everything okay with your room?" Susan asked us.

"Yeah, it's great." I told her, Dean trying to look inside the room which made her try and close the door some more, and I smacked Dean in the stomach softly.

"Well, I was just in the middle of packing, so…" Susan began.

Dean nodded and then something caught his eye. "Hey, are those antique dolls? 'Cause this one…this one here…he's got a major doll collection back home. Don't you? Huh?"

Sam gave Dean a look as I stepped on Dean's foot slightly and then Sam forced a smile. He and I both knew this could be an 'in', but I understood Sam's frustration so I was about to make a decision Dean wasn't going to like but he was going to have to deal with it. He had brought this upon himself…

"Big time." Sam answered with a curt nod.

I smiled at Susan. "He's always buying me lots of them—best boyfriend ever, I tell you."

"You think he could come…we could come in and take a look?" Dean asked her, glancing at me since I had called Sam my boyfriend and taken him by the arm.

"I don't know." Susan told us slowly.

"Please? I mean, he loves them. He's not gonna tell you this, but he's always dressing them up in little tiny outfits. You'd make his day. She would. Huh? Huh?" Dean insisted with a big smile.

"It's true." Sam confirmed reluctantly.

I grinned at that. "Isn't that just the _cutest_ thing?"

Susan nodded a little. "Okay. Come on in."

"Alright. Alright." Dean said happily, and we walked in. "Wow! This is a lot of dolls! They're nice, you know, they're not super creepy at all."

I coughed at that comment because they creeped me out a bit, but then I faked a smile as they looked at me. Dolls…okay, I had some when I was younger but I had one that talked once and it talked _without_ batteries…from that point on I was kind of weary of them. These dolls…these ones' eyes followed you wherever you went and I was feeling like I was suddenly being watched.

"I suppose they are a little creepy, but they've been in the family forever. A lot of sentimental value." Susan explained to us.

Sam glanced over at the dollhouse in the room. "What is this? The hotel?"

"Yeah, that's right. Exact replica, custom-built." Susan answered with a smile on her face.

"His head got twisted around." Sam pointed out, showing the figurine with the twisted head. "What happened to it?"

Susan nodded slowly. "Tyler, probably."

"Mommy, Maggie's being mean." A girl around the age of ten said as she entered the room.

"Tyler, tell her I said to be nice, okay?" Susan told her.

I smiled at the little girl and how adorable she was and then I took the doll from Sam and showed it to her. Tyler looked pretty shy, and yet she looked so lonely…like she really needed to have someone to play with. I mean she was talking about a 'Maggie', but the girl just looked lost, and I wanted to help her.

"Hey, Tyler, I see you broke your doll. You want me to fix it?" I offered her. "Well…I could have Sammy fix it."

Tyler shook her head. "I didn't break it, I found it like that."

"Oh. Well, maybe Maggie did it." Sam suggested with a smile and a small shrug.

"No, _neither_ of us did it. Grandma would get mad if we broke him." Tyler replied with a nod.

Susan smiled a little, stroking her daughter's hair. "Tyler, she wouldn't get mad."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Grandma?"

"Grandma Rose. These were all her toys." Tyler told him.

"Oh, really? Where's Grandma Rose now?" I asked her.

Tyler looked at me. "Up in her room."

I nodded at that and realized that we now had a new lead—maybe Tyler's grandmother knew more about what was going on. Speaking of other people in the hotel…maybe that girl I had seen knew a little more about what was going on here too…I needed to figure it all out, and I needed to figure it out before my sanity slipped away from me.

"You know," Sam told them, "I'd…I'd…I'd really love to talk to Rose about her incredible doll…"

"No." Susan said quickly. "I mean I'm afraid that's impossible. My mother's been very sick, and she's not taking any visitors."

I nodded at her. "That's all right, we understand."

I pushed on the boys so that they would turn to leave the room, and then thanked Susan for her letting us look around. The boys and I headed out of the room and she closed the door on us, all of us looking at each other. At first Dean's eyes were giving me the, 'oh, we're talking later' look, but then I knew he'd already switched gears in his head.

"What do you think? Dolls, hoodoo, mysterious shut in grandma?" Dean asked us.

"Well, dolls are used in all kind of voodoo and hoodoo, like curses and binding spells and…" Sam trailed off.

Dean nodded in agreement. "Yeah, maybe we found our witch doctor. I'll go see what I can dig up on granny. You get online check old obits, freak accidents, that sort of things. See if she's whacked anybody before."

"Right." Sam told him.

"Don't go surfing porn, it's not the kind of whacking I mean." Dean smirked as I smacked him lightly but took his hand.

"I think I'll go with you, Baby." I told him.

He smiled at me. "As much as I'd like that, I think you should help Sam out—less temptation for me and besides…Sam's the best boyfriend ever."

"Hey, you were trying to make him look gay, and trust me—he's not." I said, and then grabbed onto his shirt. "But for the record…_you_ are the best boyfriend ever—for me."

"As much as I love you two while you're in love and all, who are you going to help?" Sam asked with a laugh.

I turned to him. "I'll help _you_, Sammy."

"All right…so let's get to it." Dean told us, and kissed me before he took off and Sam and I returned to the room.

Sam and I both started to look into some research, but then Sam pulled out some alcohol and we started talking and drinking. It started off nice enough, but soon I had to cut myself off because I was feeling the effects and I put my hands on the bed and I looked at Sam. He was so beautiful, and so caring, and I felt so bad that he was feeling so terrible about not being able to save Ava.

"What do you think about…about my destiny?" Sam asked me.

I shrugged. "I think that you have control over your destiny."

"Do you really believe that, Lan?" Sam asked me.

I set my hand on his and nodded. "I really do."

"You okay?" Sam asked as my face changed.

I just nodded because I was having that feeling again—like someone I knew was near. "I just—I need to check on something." I told him, and kissed his cheek swiftly before I left the room and looked down the hallway. "Who are you?"

I wandered down the hallway a little bit and then I cocked my head to one side as I came to a room and the feelings felt stronger here—like I should open the door. I wanted to, and I reached out to touch the doorknob, but I pulled my hand back. I didn't know what to do because I knew there were answers behind the door, but what would I do when I got them? Why was I so scared to see what was behind this door?

I backed away, the feeling getting less and less prominent, and I looked out a window, seeing Dean talking to Susan on the steps as a man was carried away in a stretcher—a man who was also helping to shut the hotel down…I could feel it. I saw Dean coming up the stairs as I stared at the door I was so afraid to open, and I followed him inside our hotel room as he raised his eyebrow at me.

"There's been another one. Some guy just hung himself in his room." Dean said as he went to his duffle.

"Yeah. I saw." Sam answered.

I raised an eyebrow because he had obviously been drinking more since I left, and he was sprawled out in an armchair. The sight was really breaking my heart, but what was I supposed to do? He was feeling broken, and I knew that, but I couldn't fix that and he knew that…I couldn't fix his problems just like that no matter how badly I wanted to.

"We got to figure this out and fast. What did you find out about Granny?" Dean asked us and I made a face because we hadn't really…gotten anywhere with that.

Sam made a face. "You're bossy."

"What?" Dean asked as he set things down.

"You're bossy. You're short." Sam added, and started laughing.

"Are you drunk?" Dean asked, looking at Sam.

I held my finger up. "We drank a little bit…"

"Yeah. So? Stupid." Sam replied and laughed some more.

I ran my fingers through my hair as I laughed a little myself, knowing I shouldn't find it funny, but I did. I could have blamed it on the alcohol and right then I was, but at the same time I saw where Sam was coming from, and knew he didn't mean it. He was just drunk, and he was upset, and he was scared…I wanted _so_ much to make this better for him…how did I do that?

"Dude, what were you thinking? We're working a case." Dean told us. "Lanni, you shouldn't have helped with this."

"As I said…when I was in here it was a little." I stressed, using my fingers.

Sam shifted in his chair. "That guy who hung himself…I couldn't save him."

"What are you talking about? You didn't know you couldn't have done anything." Dean told him.

"That's an excuse, Dean. I should have _found_ a way to save him. I should have saved Ava, too." Sam told him slowly.

"Well, you can't save everyone, Sammy, even you said that." I stressed to him.

"No!" Sam told us, banging his fist on the table. "You don't understand, alright? The more people I save, the more I can change."

Dean looked caught off guard. "Change what?"

"My destiny, Dean." Sam replied and I swallowed.

What John had said to Dean about Sam had really messed him up and now that he had gotten close to and lost Ava, Sam was really having a tough time. He had been hiding it pretty well, but I wished that I had been a little closer to him lately and helped him through the problems that he had been having. He was my family…and I _really _needed to be there for Sammy when he needed me.

"Alright, time for bed. Come on, Sasquatch. Come on." Dean said, helping Sam to stand.

Sam opened his mouth. "I need you to watch out for me."

"Yeah, I always do." Dean replied softly.

"No. No, no, no." Sam said, struggling against him a little. "You have to watch out for me, alright? And if I ever turn into something that I'm not...you have to kill me."

"Sam..." Dean and I said together, our hearts breaking at the suggestion.

"Dean, Dad told you to do it. You have to." Sam replied, pleading.

Dean shook his head. "Yeah, well, Dad's an ass. He never should have said anything. I mean, you don't do that. You don't…you don't lay that kind of crap on your kids."

"No, he was right to say it. Who knows what I might become? Even now, everyone around me dies." Sam explained pain in his voice.

"Well, I'm not dying, okay? Lanni's not dying, and neither are you. Come on, sit down." Dean told him, pushing Sam onto his bed.

"No, please, Dean, you're the only one who can do it. Promise me. Lan won't do it. You know she won't." Sam looked at me and then back to Dean. "You're the only one who will do it, Dean."

I wiped a tear away, every part of me breaking because I couldn't believe that all of this was really happening. How could Sam ask that of us? How could h possibly think that I would let Dean kill him if he turned? We didn't know what was going to happen and no matter what, I was keeping Sam with me—he meant too much to me.

"Don't ask that of me." Dean told Sam sadly.

"Dean, please. You have to promise me." Sam begged.

"Dean…" I began, not wanting him to do this no matter how drunk Sam was.

Dean swallowed. "I promise."

"Thanks. Thank you." Sam told him, taking Dean's face in his hands.

"Okay." Dean replied, getting out of Sam's embrace and helping him to lie down.

I closed my eyes and tried hard not to cry, wishing that the pain swirling around in the room would just subside already. Mostly I just wanted to leave the room and hide away somewhere, not wanting to deal with what just happened, but Dean needed me. Besides…I was still definitely buzzed and I probably shouldn't be running around with no concrete purpose.

"You think that was smart?" I asked Dean as we left the room together, Dean needing to get some air too.

Dean sighed loudly. "I don't know…I _do_ know that I need a drink though."

I smiled a little. "There's a hotel bar—I won't be having anymore though. I'm cutting myself off."

Dean nodded and I took his hand and we went to the bar, sitting down on the stools and Sherwin offered us a drink, but only Dean took one. I just sat there next to him and watched his every move, smiling to myself at how lucky I was. I mean he was just asking questions and working the case, but he was beautiful…he was just…beautiful.

"So, poor guy, huh, killing himself?" Dean asked Sherwin.

Sherwin nodded at him. "That kind of thing seems to be going around lately."

"Yeah. Yeah, I heard about the other ones. It's almost like this hotel is cursed or something." Dean told him.

"Every hotel has its spilled blood. If people only knew what's going on in some of those rooms they've checked into." Sherwin admitted with a nod.

I turned from looking at Dean and smiled at Sherwin. "You know a lot about the place, don't you?"

"Down to the last nail." Sherwin said with a proud look on his face.

"I'd love to hear some stories." Dean told him.

Sherwin smiled some more. "Boy, you should never say that to an old man."

"No, really." I said genuinely. "We'd love to know."

Sherwin led Dean and I around the hotel, and the thing that caught my eye most was a wall on which were displayed some old pictures of the Thompson family. The whole hotel was old and it was well kept and it had history—it was beautiful. At the same time, there was a vibe here and it wasn't the girl I'd seen in the window…there was something dark here and I wanted to know what it was.

"This is little Miss Susan and her mother, Rose." Sherwin said as he showed us one of the pictures. "Happier days."

I glanced from the picture to Sherwin. "They're not happy now?"

"Well, would you be leaving the only home you ever knew?" Sherwin asked us.

"I don't know. I never really knew one." Dean admitted, and I took his hand, smiling a little when he squeezed it.

"Well, this is Rose's home. It's been in the family over a century. Used to be the family estate, and now she gets to live in some senior-living graveyard, and they tear this place down." Sherwin explained to us.

Dean nodded slowly. "That's too bad. I hear Rose isn't feeling well, either."

"No, she isn't." Sherwin agreed with a nod.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked slowly, honestly wanting to know what was going on around here and why.

"It's not my business to say." Sherwin answered, but he smiled at us.

Dean showed Sherwin a picture. "Who's this?"

Sherwin smiled at it. "That's Rose when she was a little girl."

"Who's that with her?" Dean asked as I pointed out a woman in the picture who was wearing a necklace that was in fact the hoodoo symbol we had seen on the urn outside.

"That's her nanny, Marie. She looked after Rose more than her own mother." Sherwin told us, and Dean thought about that.

All right so things were starting to be put together in my head—urn with the symbol, nanny with the symbol…obviously Rose knew hoodoo. So was she doing it? Was it really the _grandmother_ doing this? Right now it seemed like the only explanation…so we had to go and talk to her and that was the end of that.

"Thank you for the tour." I told Sherwin.

Sherwin smiled at Dean and I. "My pleasure."

"Dean…" I began as Sherwin left and Dean looked at me, taking my hand.

"Yeah?" He asked me.

I was having that feeling again and so I pulled him a little closer and he looked at me with a concern. I kissed him swiftly and he made a face because it was another of my 'hit and run' kisses, but I really wanted him to know that I was going to be all right. I just…I had to face my fears and I knew I could do it if he was with me.

I looked up into his eyes. "I need you to help me with something."

"Of course, Lanni—anything." He told me, stroking my hair.

"You remember when I told you I saw something?" I asked him slowly.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, I remember—I was actually listening to you."

I rolled my eyes and smacked his arm softly. "Very funny…I appreciate it. Look, I just—I feel like the person I saw is familiar, and I—I want to go into her room and I want to see her. I want to talk to her—calm my nerves."

"Well…okay." Dean told me with a slow nod.

I sighed, knowing he wanted more of an explanation. "Dean…I know what room she's in. I know that she's in there because I keep feeling her presence when we walk past the door. I know it has nothing to do with this hoodoo stuff, but I just—I can't open the door by myself. I'm too afraid to do it alone…will you go with me?"

Dean nodded, and I led him to the room and then I took a deep breath and Dean gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before he opened the door and we looked inside. It was homey enough, like someone had been here for a while, but the feeling wasn't that strong anymore—she wasn't here. Part of me was really glad about that, and the other part of me was disappointed…I needed her in order to have my answers.

"I—where is she? Her bag is still here." I said, going over to it and opening it up.

Dean made a face. "You sure you should be doing that?"

I just rolled my eyes and then I saw it—I picked up the picture and I gawked at it, looking up as the girl came to the door. She was beautiful, and she definitely looked more familiar up close. She was brunette, she had the most adorable round nose, and she was younger than me…and the presence was so strong with her standing there just a few feet away from me.

"Hi." She said calmly.

"Man…" Dean began, and he smiled a little, eyeing her. "I mean sorry we just barged in here like this, we got lost and—"

"Annie?" I asked when I found my voice.

Dean did a double-take and looked at me as the words came out of my mouth and the girl in front of me smiled. The tears were coming as she nodded slowly, and I didn't know if I could get my legs to move but I needed them to.

"Annie? As in your little sister, Annie?" Dean asked me.

I nodded and he wiped the look off of his face and looked embarrassed to have checked her out. He picked up the picture of Annie, Mom, Dad and I when we were younger when I dropped it on the bed. I found the will in my legs to move, and I slowly walked towards her, wiping a tear away as it fell.

"It's really you, isn't it, Lanni?" Annie asked me softly.

I nodded, tears in my eyes, and I hugged her, amazed that she was hugging me back and crying as well. I had spent all of these years thinking that Annie was dead—that _I_ had been the reason that my baby sister had been killed by a Shrtiga. Now here she was, completely and utterly in my arms, letting me stroke her hair and hold her to me—my little sister was very much alive and I was aching all over…but in a good way.

"I can't believe it's you." I sobbed, and then I pulled away a little, my hands still on her shoulders. "You're not, another vision are you?"

Annie laughed and shook her head. "Not at all. Wow…you've grown."

"I've grown? Look at you." I told her, hugging her again. "You're a woman."

Annie smiled when we pulled away, but kept grasping each other's hands. "I can't—I can't believe this is happening. When I saw you guys pull up, and I saw you, I couldn't believe it. All this time, I've been wondering when we would see each other again, and here you are. We're working on the same problem, I'm guessing."

"Problem? You mean you're working this case too?" Dean asked her, wanting to be part of the conversation but I couldn't take my eyes off of my sister.

"You mean you guys do this for a living?" Annie asked me.

I nodded at her. "Yeah, we kind of cruise around from town to town, vanquishing demons. The demon that we're looking for that was behind Mom and Dad's death and the death of Sam and Dean's father, has eluded us for the time being, but we're helping people. How did you…?"

"I was on vacation actually. I finally moved out of the house and…does it feel weird to know I'm alive and I know about you?" Annie asked me suddenly.

"Trust me, Annie, there are weirder things out there, believe me." I told her.

"I just—Mom and Dad didn't want me to tell you. After the Shtriga, they wanted me to be away. They thought that if they split us up we would both forget about our powers and not be hunted." Annie explained to me. "I, however, had to live with the knowledge of you being in pain and I guess…after being visited by Mr. Yellow-Eyed Demon, I realized that keeping us apart was just no longer important."

I looked at her, my eyes widening as I took that information in—that meant that Annie was like Sam, didn't it? Now I _really_ needed to know what it meant to be psychic because this was starting to get complicated and I was even _more_ involved in this. What the Hell was going on around here?

"Wow…you're a psychic." I said slowly.

She nodded at me. "Yes, but I'm not evil. The demon came to me in a dream and I told him to go to Hell."

"That's my girl." I told her, hugging her again and then pulling back. "God, I'm sorry—I'm totally smothering you with love right now, aren't I?"

"It's fine." Annie laughed. "After that these bad things started happening and so I moved out. I've been gradually trying to fit in and outrun the demon, and then this—now you're here."

I nodded at her. "Yeah, Annie…I'm here and I'm always going to be."

I held her to me as she came to hug me again, and I kissed the top of her head as she continued to hug me and talk. I just really couldn't believe that my little sister was back with me and that I was being given a second chance here. Things for me were _finally_ looking up, and I wasn't sure how exactly to deal with it all. I knew one thing though—I was finally getting something back for dealing with all of my bad vibes.

"I don't know exactly what is going on here, but it has to do with hoodoo. Some kind of spirit is here, and I don't know exactly what it is. I don't normally do this sort of stuff—the researching—but I can fight." Annie assured me.

I laughed at that. "You don't have to fight, Annie. It's all right."

"No, Lanni, I do. I have to help you guys. This is what you do." She told me.

I nodded as she pulled away. "I really didn't mean it like you couldn't, I just…do you want to stay in our room tonight? I'm sure that Sam and Dean don't mind."

"Of course not." Dean told me, and I realized that I still had yet to actually _introduce_ them to each other.

"Wait a minute…Sam and Dean? As in _Winchester_?" Annie asked, a smile spreading across her face. "From what I've heard about you from the two demons I've taken care of, you guys are amazing!"

Dean smiled at that. "Oh, it's nothing."

I rolled my eyes because of how flattered he sounded—it was like he realized that he had a fan. He just kind of grinned and then Annie looked back at me and he gave me a look…he wanted Annie to know who he was. I understood that, and at the same time I really just wanted to listen to Annie and see what had been happening with her. I could make it up to him later and he knew that, and he was going to have to accept my attention shift right now.

"And you…wow. You hang out with them?" Annie asked me.

I nodded at her. "Yeah—but don't be fooled…they're not all giggles and hotness _all_ the time. I met Sam and Dean at Chelsea's wake…"

"Chelsea's dead?" Annie asked me.

I nodded sadly—Chelsea, Jen and I grew up together, so it wasn't strange that Annie would inquire about them…or feel sad that Chelsea was dead. The thing was I wasn't going to let her mourn Chelsea for too long. She deserved to be mourned, but now she was a power hungry vampire, and Annie needed to know that in case Chelsea came after her too…and I wouldn't put that past her.

"Well yes…and no. She's…a vampire." I explained to Annie.

Annie's eyes widened. "Seriously?"

"Yeah." I told her softly.

"And how's Jenny?" Annie asked me.

I smiled at that. "She's actually married now—recently gave birth to twins."

"Wow! That's pretty amazing." Annie told me with a smile.

"Yeah, Kevin just couldn't keep his hands off of her." I told her, and I yawned as she laughed, which made her laugh even more. "You want to get to the room?"

Annie nodded and held my hand. "Yeah…let's get you to bed, Missy."

xxxx

The next morning, I woke up early and went out to the couch and smiled softly. Annie had insisted on sleeping on it, and I smiled at her, brushing the hair out of her face and kissing the top of her head softly. I looked up as Dean came out, putting on his jacket, and he smiled at me a little, me straightening up and looking at him.

I put my hands in my back pockets. "Where are you going?"

"Out to get some breakfast." Dean replied slowly. "You want to come with me?"

"Yeah." I told him with a smile on my face.

I grabbed my coat and Dean and I went out to go to a café, and we sat there, eating a bit until Dean looked at me. It was nice to be out with him and it was nice that he was glad to have me with him, but at the same time I knew he was kind of upset. I had spent the whole night talking to Annie and I still hadn't really given Dean a chance to get to know her—Sam had still been passed out and was actually probably experiencing a rather terrible hangover.

"So…how are you?" He asked me.

I shrugged but smile at him. "I'm—I'm amazingly okay."

"Really?" Dean asked and I knew he really wanted me to be okay.

"Yeah, I mean sure I ran into my long lost sister, and maybe you think this is some sort of scam by the demon, but she's—she's my sister, Dean. She's my little sister and she and Sam have something in common—they're psychic." I explained to him. "And…and I didn't get my little sister killed."

"You don't think…what if she turns like Sam might?" Dean asked me and I knew he hadn't wanted to ask it, but he thought it was important.

I didn't like where he was going with this and I sent him a look that said that. Mostly I understood where he was coming from because what John had told him was hanging over him, but she was my sister. I had thought that I had lost her once and I was _definitely_ not going to kill my sister…we still didn't even know what this 'turning' thing meant.

"Dean, if you're talking about killing my sister if she turns, you can take that comment and stick it—" I began.

"—Lanni, that's not what I meant." He told me, cutting me off.

I nodded slowly. "It better not be. Besides, someone who is attractive enough to get the Dean check-out shouldn't be talked about this way."

"Well you two have the same genes, and you know what I think about you." Dean said with a shrug. "Obviously you _both_ got the good genes."

"I'm going to take that as a twisted compliment…so…what did you mean?" I asked him.

Dean took a deep breath. "I meant that her coming out of nowhere—not that I don't trust her but—I mean she knows so much."

"Yeah, I asked her about things last night. You see my parents left for a week, once every month and I never knew why I was left with my uncle before—they went to go and see her. They never told me because they knew I would go looking for her, and they figured that being so young, Annie would keep her mouth shut—and she did. Annie was raised by a different set of parents, and she's been trying to figure out how to find me. When our parents died, she thought about finding me, but our parents—I'm not the only one they saw. They told her that we would meet in the future—that she wasn't allowed to show herself until the time was ready." I explained to him. "I guess this is our time."

"Does she—in this heart to heart did you tell her anything?" Dean asked me hopefully.

I nodded again. "I told her lots of things, Dean. The only things I didn't mention were the relationship things. I told her about all of the demons we hunted, I opened up about Dad—your dad—and I—I told her she could travel with us."

"Of course, we're not going to kick her to the curb, Lanni. You just found her, and you should be allowed to be with her." Dean told me.

I wanted to just grin at that and thank him and tell him he was the best, but there was pain in his voice. I hadn't told Annie about my involvement with the boys—about my relationship with Dean. It wasn't that I was ashamed of it—because I wasn't—I just hadn't wanted to lay _everything_ on her when she was just joining us and had so many things on her own plate as it was. Still…why hadn't I told her? Why wasn't I telling her how much Dean really meant to me?

"God, I owe you so much." I told him, leaning across the table.

Dean smirked and leaned in a little too. "Yes you do."

"I swear that I'm going to tell her everything, Baby, I just need time to ease her into everything, all right?" I asked him.

"Lanni, stop worrying about it, I understand—you'll tell her eventually." Dean told me.

I smiled at him. "I promise I will. But, hey, we should get back before Sam wakes up and freaks out that she's there."

Dean nodded at me. "Very true."

Dean and I hurried back to the hotel since he'd taken me to a diner for breakfast down the street, and when he reached for the knob, I took his hand. He looked at me, confused at first, but nodded a little into the kiss I placed to his lips, stepping closer to me and cradling me in his arms. I pushed my tongue into his mouth with ease, him slipping his fingers into my hair, and then he pulled back and kissed me swiftly, me nodding and the two of us walked into the room. I smiled at Annie as she ate a granola bar—we were alike in many ways—and then I sighed as I saw Sam leaning over the toilet bowl.

"How you feeling, Sammy? I guess mixing whiskey and jager wasn't such a gangbuster idea, was it? Hey, I bet you don't remember a thing from last night, do you?" Dean asked him.

"No, I can still taste the tequila." Sam answered, and Dean smiled, relieved that he had said that.

I laughed a little. "It's a good thing I cut myself off, otherwise we would have had a 'Tequila Makes Her Clothes Come Off' moment and that would have been bad."

"You know, there's a really good hangover remedy. It's a…it's a greasy pork sandwich served up in a dirty ashtray." Dean joked and smiled all cheeky-like as Annie chuckled at him.

"Oh, I hate you." Sam told Dean, leaning over the toilet again.

"I know you do. Hey, turns out when Grandma Rose was a tyke, she had a Creole nanny who wore a hoodoo necklace." Dean explained, going up to the bathroom. "Augh."

Sam ignored Dean's protest to the smell. "So you think she taught Rose hoodoo?"

"Yes, we do." Annie answered.

"Who was that?" Sam asked suddenly.

I smiled at that and sat down next to her, looking over at the bathroom door and then at Annie. I was surprised that he hadn't seen her since he had gotten up—then again it could have been that he only woke up to the churning in his stomach and needed to relieve himself of all of the alcohol the two of us had ingested…I mean after all, I was still a bit headachey, but I had lots of coffee at the diner.

"He hasn't seen you yet?" I asked Annie.

She shook her head. "He ran in there and has been there ever since. I—I felt weird just going up to him and asking him if he needed anything."

"Lan?" Sam asked me, wanting to know and Dean was letting _me_ explain it.

"Long story short for now until I can explain it in length, Annie is out here, Sammy—Annie, my little sister." I told him.

He was surprised but kept his cool. "Oh. I'm sorry you have to meet me this way."

"Trust me, it's all right. So…Rose and hoodoo?" Annie asked him.

"Alright, uh. I think it's time we talk to Rose, then." Sam told us, standing up.

Dean nodded at him. "Oh, you need to brush your teeth first."

I laughed because Sam had breathed on him and Dean was teasing but it was well deserved, and Sam gave him a look as he left the bathroom. Then I turned all of my attention back to Annie who was _definitely_ observing our behavior. She was aware that Sam, Dean and I were close, and though she wanted to ask what Dean and I had been doing and wanted to know where we had gone, she kept her mouth shut.

"You sleep all right?" I asked her.

She nodded and smiled. "It was comfortable."

"Not as comfortable as a bed." I told her.

"I got to catch up with you, Lanni—that was all I needed." She assured me, giving my closest hand to her a squeeze.

I smiled too, and then after Sam brushed his teeth and got himself to look a little more presentable, I introduced her to the boys. They were happy enough to have her along—even though I knew they were only acting okay with it for me—and I was really happy with them for doing this for me. Then when the introductions were out of the way, we all went to Susan's door, and I turned to Annie.

"We're kind of…we're going to pick a lock." I told her. "So…I hope it doesn't make you think that we're these wanton criminals or something."

She laughed and rested her hand on my shoulder. "Lanni, it's all right. I understand."

I nodded, and the two of us stood with Dean as look-outs while Sam picked the lock. We all got in and then went upstairs, where we found Rose sitting in a wheelchair. Sam tried to talk to her, but she was unable to answer him. I was getting some vibes from her, but definitely not the vibes that I had been hoping for—Rose wasn't our girl.

"This woman's had a stroke." Sam said as I looked her over.

Dean sighed loudly. "But hoodoo is hands-on. You got to mix herbs and chant, build an altar and all that."

"So it can't be Rose. Heck, maybe it's not even hoodoo." Sam told him, giving up.

"You know, she could be faking." Dean suggested with a look thrown to Sam.

"Well, what do you want to do? Poke her with a stick?" Sam asked him and when Dean shrugged and got hit by me, Sam shook his head. "Dude, you're not gonna poke her with a stick."

"What the hell? What are you doing in here?" Susan asked as she entered the room.

I turned to her and tried to pull my 'Lana smile'. "We just wanted to talk to Rose."

"Look at her she's scared out of her wits. I want you out of my hotel in 2 minutes or I'm calling the cops." Susan warned, and so the four of us left.

I was really worried about the fact that something was going on here but we kept hitting dead ends, and Annie looked trouble. She started to bite her nails which made me smile—I used to do that and then I took to chewing on my lip. We were _definitely_ related, and just that thought made me smile some more because I _really_ liked knowing that she was alive, and that she had grown up so well.

"That was strange." Annie said and chewed on her right pointer fingernail. "Something is still going on there…we have to stay around."

Sam smiled at her. "You are definitely Lan's little sister."

"Agreed." Dean said with a smile.

"So how _exactly_ did you guys meet?" Annie asked them, flattered that they had compared her to me.

Dean smirked and I sent him a look. "Well Sam and I were on this hunt, and we ended up at Chelsea's wake, looking to speak to her parents, when we ran into Lanni and in turn Jen. Your sister was wearing this amazing little black number—"

"—Dean!" I chastised.

He just chuckled. "Yeah, anyway, she's been doing this for a while, and we helped her with a case, and helped her cope with Chelsea's…well death…and she just kind of became part of our messed up family."

"More like I forced my way in but you _loved_ it." I replied and then I shrugged. "The only thing I left out last night was that Jen and I got Chelsea turned. We still feel responsible for it—and we always should—and we need to figure out how to kill her before she gets too powerful."

"I'm sorry, Lana." Annie told me, taking my hand and giving it a squeeze. "I'll help you as much as I can."

I smiled at her and kissed her hand, pulling her into a hug and then letting her go when Dean got that look on his face. It was suddenly no longer kind of a playful moment and we were flirting with that line of 'care and share' and he didn't want to be dragged into it. At the same time, he and Sam were both _genuinely_ happy for me and it warmed my heart to know that they were both so supportive of me.

"So before we go and save the hotel…what's with you two?" Annie asked, pointing between me and Dean.

I turned to Dean and was about to say something out loud to her, but the wind rose and one of the seats of the swing set started moving near the hotel. The see-saw then the tourniquet also started moving by themselves, and so the four of us watched until the car started and almost ran Susan over, but Sam saved her. Annie, Dean and I joined them and went inside watching as Susan asked for a glass of whiskey.

"What the hell happened out there?" Susan asked us.

Dean glanced at her. "You want the truth?"

"Of course." Susan told him like he should have known that.

"At first, we thought it was some sort of a hoodoo curse, but that out there, that was definitely a spirit." Dean explained, laying it all out there like she had said she wanted.

"Here." Sam said holding a glass out to her.

Susan stared at us. "You're insane."

"Yeah, it's been said." Dean replied with a nod.

"Look, I'm sorry, Susan." Sam told her honestly. "We don't exactly have time to ease you into this, but we need to know when your mother had the stroke."

Susan gave Sam a look. "What does that have to do with—"

"—just answer the question." Sam interrupted her.

Susan was still looking at us like we were crazy, but she just nodded a little and tried to remember. She was helping us even though she still wasn't sure that she believed us, and I knew it was hard for her, but I was glad she was trying here. We really needed to get to the bottom of this before anything else bad happened.

"Uh, about a month ago." Susan remembered and nodded in affirmation.

"Right before the killings began. You see?" Sam told Dean. "So what if Rose was working hoodoo, but not to hurt anyone, to protect them?"

I nodded at that. "She was using the five-spot urns to ward off the spirit. That means that the spirit is probably still connected to her somehow."

"She protected her family until she had a stroke and she couldn't anymore." Annie added with a nod.

"I don't believe this." Susan intervened.

"Listen, that car didn't try to run you down by itself, okay? I mean, I guess it did technically, but with a spirit—forget it." Dean said, rubbing his temples.

Sam looked at her. "Just believe what you want, alright? But the fact is, you and your family are in danger, alright? So you need to clear everybody out of here: your employees, um, your mother, your daughters, everyone."

"Uh, I only have one daughter." Susan told us.

"One?" Sam asked a little surprised.

I smiled and then shook my head. "I thought Tyler had a sister named Maggie."

"Maggie's imaginary." Susan told us, and the four of us knew then that we were dealing with Maggie's spirit.

Actually it was all starting to make complete and utter sense in my head. There were still some missing pieces but it was obvious that Maggie _wasn't_ imaginary, and that she was doing this. The question was _why_ was she doing this? Who was she, and what did she have against the people involved with selling the hotel?

"Where's Tyler?" Dean asked her.

Susan suddenly looked panicked and I couldn't blame her—her daughter was missing and we needed to know where she was so that she wasn't in any danger. We all went to go and find Tyler, starting at Susan's apartment where we found all of the dolls broken, and Tyler was no where to be seen.

"Susan, tell us what you know about Maggie." Sam told her.

Susan swallowed and pondered. "Not much. Uh, Tyler's been talking about her since Mom got sick."

"Okay, did you ever know anyone by that name?" I asked her.

"No." Susan replied slowly.

"Think, think." Dean tried quickly. "It could be somebody that could have lived here that might have passed away."

Susan's eyes suddenly changed. "My God…my mom…my mom had a sister named Margaret. She barely spoke about her."

"Did Margaret happen to die here when she was a kid?" Sam asked her.

"Yeah, she drowned in the pool." Susan replied slowly.

I nodded and headed for the pool. "We have to go now."

We hurried to the indoor pool door because Maggie's ghost would have wanted to bring Tyler here—she was feeling abandoned. Problem was, the door was locked and we couldn't get it open even though we were trying to. We called Tyler's name, and then saw Tyler look over at us, and then fall into the pool. Dean, Annie and I headed for the other entrance with Susan, while Sam continued to try and open the door.

I took a deep breath and made Susan, Dean and Annie take a step back, saying an incantation and then getting us inside. We got inside just in time to see Sam jump into the pool, me hurrying towards him along the edge, the others behind me. After a moment, Sam came towards us, Tyler in his arms, setting her down, unconscious. Suddenly the water came out of Tyler's lungs, and Sam looked down at her, smiling because he was so glad that she was all right—we all were.

"Can you see Maggie anywhere?" Sam asked her as she snuggled into her mother.

Tyler looked around and shook her head. "She's not here…she's gone."

xxxx

"I don't get it. Did Maggie just stop?" Dean asked us a little while later as Susan and Tyler got their things ready to head out.

Annie nodded slowly. "Seems like it."

"Where the hell did she go?" Dean asked her.

Before any of us could answer, we heard Susan scream, going upstairs to find Rose dead. We called the coroners, and watched them take Rose's body away, joining Susan on the steps of the hotel. I looked up towards the room that Rose had once been in, and I smiled a little, nodding because I had an idea…I could sense them still.

"Paramedics said it was another stroke. Do you think...Margaret could have had something to do with it?" Susan asked us.

Dean looked at her. "We honestly don't know."

"But it's possible, yeah." Sam added with a nod. "Susan, I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for. You've given me everything." Susan told him, and smiled brightly at Tyler as she came over to her. "Ready to go, kiddo?"

Tyler nodded up at her. "Yeah."

"Tyler, you're sure Maggie's not around anymore?" Annie asked her.

"I'm sure. I'd see her." Tyler told her.

Dean nodded slowly. "I guess whatever's going on must be over."

"You two take care of yourselves, alright?" Sam told them and Susan hugged him which made me smile—Sam _needed_ to feel like a hero because he _was_ one.

Susan smiled when she pulled back. "Thank you."

"Yeah." Sam replied softly.

She nodded and then looked at Dean, Annie and I. "All four of you."

We all nodded at her and watched as she headed away with Tyler, Dean looking at Sam and I rolled my eyes—my man was about to be vulgar. Honestly I loved him that way, but at the same time this wasn't the time nor the place, but it was Dean…he picked his moments whether they were good or not.

"Think you could have hooked up some MILF action there, bud. Serious, I think she liked you." Dean said with a grin.

"Is he always this vulgar?" Annie asked me as I wrapped an arm around her.

I laughed and nodded. "Unfortunately. Don't worry though—you get used to it."

"Yeah, that's all she needs." Sam told Dean sarcastically.

"Well, you saved the mom, you saved the girl. Not a bad day. Of course, you know, I could have saved them myself, but I didn't want you to feel useless." Dean joked.

Sam nodded and smiled at him. "Alright, I appreciate it."

"Of course you had it under control, Dean." I smiled as Annie looked the car over with awe. "Are you feeling better, Sammy?"

"Yeah…but it doesn't change what we talked about last night, Dean." Sam said slowly and I swallowed—oh he _definitely_ remembered.

Dena shrugged at him, choosing to ignore it. "We talked about a lot of things last night."

"You know what I mean." Sam stressed, giving him a look.

"You were wasted." Dean protested, trying to get out of this.

"But you weren't...and you promised." Sam told him, getting inside the car as Annie followed into the backseat.

"Honey…we'll figure this out." I assured Dean, taking his hand for a brief moment before getting into the car after Annie and sitting next to her, and though I was worried when Dean didn't say anything, I knew he and I would talk more at the motel or wherever we ended up next when he got into the car too.

**Note: 32 pages AGAIN? Don't get used to it, lol. And OMG Annie is ALIVE? There is a LOT coming at you guys, but I think you can handle it. Trust me, I will tie up my storylines and you will learn more about Annie, Lana's biological father and the rune soon. HAPPY NEW YEAR! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	33. Dean Wants a Promise

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay so there was a LOT in the last two chapters.**

**This one is definitely shorter on new knowledge, but it's a long chapter.**

**It has a POV from Lana, Dean AND Annie too, so I hope you enjoy that.**

**There's still a lot to come, but bear with me.**

**=P**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I woke up a few mornings later to warm laughter and protective strong arms wrapped around me. I knew it had to be Annie's laughter, but I snuggled into Dean more and he stirred, kissing my back softly. Honestly I was _never_ going to tire of how amazing it felt to wake up to Dean…never.

"You still have to tell her." He whispered to me.

"How'd you even know I was awake?" I asked him, a smile on my face.

He chuckled. "I just know…but you need to tell her."

"I know. I was going to yesterday _and_ the day before that." I protested.

"Yeah, I know." Dean told me. "Every time something else comes up."

"It's not like I don't want her to know." I told him, turning over and running my fingers along his lips.

Every time I went to tell Annie about what was going on between me and Dean, we'd get interrupted. Kaydence and Minah were starting to try to say words now, not to mention the times Jen would call right when I was trying to get everything off of my chest. Then there were the times that we were interrupted and Annie decided that she wanted to run off and find something from her past since we were back in Kansas so she could bond with Jen, Kevin, Kaydence, Minah and the people that Annie had left behind to come and find us.

"I know." He said, holding me closer, stroking my hair. "You want to tell the world you have a man as wonderful as me."

I smiled and kissed him softly, loving this closeness and sweetness that was Dean in these rare moments. As he held onto me and kissed me, an aroma came into the room, and I smiled a bit, pulling away. Honestly I wanted to lie around kissing Dean forever and a day, but I was hungry and my stomach wanted food now that I could smell it. Dean grunted in protest, and I was protesting too, but the smell was making my stomach rumbly and I couldn't help that.

"You owe me, so this isn't fair, Lanni." Dean told me, stroking my hair and trying to pull me back to him.

"But…waffles." I muttered, kissing him and yet still trying to get away.

He raised an eyebrow. "Waffles are more important than lying here and kissing me? You have some strange quirks, Lana Meckenzie."

"Boo! You stopped calling me by my nickname!" I told him, successfully pulling back from his mouth. "I _was_ thinking more that waffles give me energy but after that…"

"I think you need to kiss me and ignore your stomach, Lanni." Dean said softly, pulling me back to him.

I relaxed because he had called me 'Lanni' again, and I really wanted to be with him, but I couldn't help but laugh when Dean's stomach rumbled too. It was the morning and we both had a really bad habit of craving food no matter how much we wanted to continue this too. Dean shot me a look when I started to laugh, but he sighed and he nodded, getting off of the bed and holding his hand out to me.

"Let's go and get some waffles." Dean said dismally.

I laughed and nodded, taking his hand and letting him pull me up, kissing me softly and then letting me go. Then he looked me over as I brushed my hair a bit, running my fingers through it and heading for the door. He wasn't following though, so I turned to him and gave him a look—what in the world was he waiting for? Our stomachs were rumbling and it was kind of obvious that we were both _really_ hungry.

"What?" I asked him.

"You're wearing my clothes." He replied like I should have been aware of that.

I looked down at my clothes and shrugged, giving him a look—why did that matter? I was wearing one of my tighter t-shirts, over a bra since I never slept with people near me without one—strange habit I picked up years ago at slumber parties—and then a pair of Dean's boxers instead of mine. What was the big deal? I wore his boxers sometimes and he never made a big deal about it—he even found pride in me wearing his mostly even though it wasn't like I didn't have 'man' boxers of my own…

"Yeah?" I asked him, wanting him to elaborate.

Dean gave me a look. "Don't you think your sister will find it weird that you're wearing my clothes?"

"Oh!" I exclaimed and then I smiled and rolled my eyes. "Honestly, maybe me wearing a pair of _your _boxers will break the ice and telling her you belong to me will be easier."

xxxx

**Annie's POV**

I smiled at Minah and continued to play Peek-A-Boo with her looking up as Lana came into the kitchen smiling. Honestly it felt nice to be around people that I knew, and I was glad to be in Lana's house—to be in a house that was familiar even though it wasn't the same one that had burnt down. This was Lana's home, and she had accepted me into it, and Jen had come to make us some breakfast.

"You still like waffles, huh?" I asked Lana happily.

Lana nodded vigorously. "Yeah, and how are _all _my girls?"

"We're all terrific. You never told me what a joy these little guys are." I said, making a face at Minah and laughing as she smiled.

Jen laughed loudly. "That sounds almost impossible."

I looked up at Lana and looked her over a little more, smirking just a tad because I recognized those boxers already—I'd seen them in Dean's duffle. I had a feeling that there was something going on between Lana and Dean, but at the same time no one _actually _told me that. I looked over towards the door as Lana went to help Jen, Sam coming into the kitchen as Dean sat at the kitchen table.

"Hey, Sammy!" Lana said merrily, kissing his cheek softly and smiling at him as he smiled at her back, their eyes locked.

Then there were times that I thought Lana was just being flirtatious and that was just how she was with Sam and Dean. Maybe she was merely close to them and that was it—maybe she wasn't in love with them. I just wished that someone would talk to me about something…even though I had just come into their lives and I _knew_ that Sam and Dean didn't trust me yet.

"You look happy and beautiful this morning." Sam told Lana, kissing the top of her head and wrapping his arm around her.

Lana smiled as she grasped his hand on the counter. "Thanks for that."

"You get any sleep last night?" Jen asked her.

"Yeah, I slept wonderfully actually." Lana admitted with a nod.

Dean cleared his throat. "Now that the 'good mornings' are out of the way, can I _please_ get some coffee over here?"

Lana, Sam and Jen all rolled their eyes as they laughed, and I couldn't help but take my time to look them all over. Even though I'd finally found my sister and I was glad to be around her, I felt rather out of place. My sister spent her time with the sweet, slightly paranoid, Sam Winchester, and the rugged, bad-ass, ladies' man, Dean Winchester, and had no romantic feelings for either of them? That was just ridiculous. There was some underlying relationship between all of them—they looked like they knew so much about each other.

"You think after breakfast I could go and see Mom and Dad's grave?" I asked aloud.

Lana stopped laughing at Jen's joke and turned to me. "Um…if you want to."

"It would be good for me, I think." I told her nodding.

"Then I guess after waffles we'll all get dressed and go and do just that." Lana announced with a small smile and nod.

I nodded and helped Jen to set the table as Kevin came into the dining room and kissed Jen softly. He had come over with Jen and the girls, and he had Kaydence in his arms who immediately wanted Dean. I actually thought it was kind of adorable because I hadn't thought of Dean as the kind of guy who was good with kids…then again, I really knew nothing about Sam and about Dean.

"You going into work, today?" Jen asked him, handing Kaydence over to Dean who looked annoyed at first but was obviously flattered to be wanted and took her.

Kevin nodded at her. "I am, but I get to stay for breakfast."

"I think that the girls and I will take Minah and Kaydee for a walk after breakfast." Jen explained to him, smiling at Dean with Kaydence.

I smiled and then looked back at Minah on my lap. "That'll be fun."

When everyone had sat down at the dining room table, I looked over at Lana, who had chosen to sit across from me and next to Dean. Their chairs seemed pretty close together, and though not mad, I wanted to know what was going on. I wanted to know how deep her sister was with these people, and I wanted to make sure that she was safe…that Sam and Dean would protect her with their lives.

"You want Sammy and I to go with you guys after breakfast?" Dean asked Lana.

Lana turned to him. "That's okay, honey, we'll be fine with just the girls."

He smiled and nodded, and I knew there was something else behind that smile—love, care…mostly love. Were they together, or did they just pine after each other? What was going on between them? Why couldn't one of them just tell me?

"Annie, you haven't eaten any waffles." Lana said suddenly, a little bit of worry on her face.

I smiled, pulled out of my thoughts. "I was just distracted."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Right after breakfast Annie went into the downstairs guest room and got ready to go while Dean and I went upstairs to change. I was slightly worried about Annie seeing the grave of her niece or nephew when she didn't know about Dean and me yet, but at the same time, maybe it was time to talk to her about it. Maybe now was as good a time as ever to explain the Dean thing to her…to let her _all_ the way into my life again.

"You okay?" Dean asked me.

I nodded and looked at my reflection in the mirror. "Yeah, I just—going to the cemetery…"

"It's your chance to tell her." Dean told me, wrapping his arms around me after I pulled a clean shirt on.

"I know." I replied, leaning back into him. "I know."

He kissed my head. "So go and help your sister cope."

I turned around to look at him and smiled, peering into the deep eyes that peered back into mine. He was definitely a little hurt still, but he was trying not to let it show—in fact if I didn't know him so well, I wouldn't know now. The thing was though, that I knew Dean really well…and he knew me and that was what made us so compatible.

"I love you." I told him.

"I know you do." Dean said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

I smiled, kissed him swiftly, and then went out of the room and went downstairs, smiling as Annie helped get Minah and Kaydence into the stroller. Jen looked up and smiled, and then the five of us went out the front door and walked down the sidewalk to the cemetery. When we got there, I stood in front of Casey's grave, and Annie knelt by Mom and Dad's. This was something she thought she needed to do and I _completely_ understood her, and I smiled down at her fondly.

"Can you give me a minute?" Annie asked me suddenly.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…sure."

xxxx

**Annie's POV**

I watched as Lana slowly walked away, her eyes resting on the headstone she was covering with the name 'Casey Morgan Winchester' on it. I didn't know quite what to think about it…I mean I'd heard about Sam and Dean, but who was Casey? Their dad was John—I knew that much—and then she saw it: "Beloved Child". Could it be that Lana was closer to Sam and/or Dean than I thought previously?

"Hey Mom…Dad." I said after a pause and a swallow. "I'm here. I'm back with Lanni. I—I guess I feel bad I haven't been here since the fire. I listened to what you said: I waited, and Lanni came to me. This doesn't mean that I have to—will the demon use me as a soldier? I wish sometimes your spirits were still here. How else am I going to get through this without you? What did you tell Lanni when you left? What—"

I stopped and sighed—I wasn't sure why I was still asking all these questions when I wasn't sure quite what I wanted to know anymore. Besides, I knew that they couldn't speak back, and so all of my questions were rather empty.

"I love you, Mommy…Daddy…and I forgive you. I forgive you for separating me from Lanni." I told them with a nod.

Standing up, I gave one last look at the graves and then took another look at the smaller headstone near them. This was the perfect icebreaker for Lana and me, and yet there was still that nagging voice in the back of my head that told me that it wasn't my place to pry…that told me that she would tell me when she told me.

"I'll figure it out, Casey." She said aloud and then walked over to Lana who grasped my hand, and then Jen smiled as the girls slept in their stroller.

"You want some junk food to eat while we watch a movie?" Lana asked me.

I smiled at her. "Sure."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"Annie?" I asked, knocking on the downstairs guestroom.

"Yeah?" She answered tiredly.

"I need to talk to you." I told her slowly.

We had come home and watched some movies, and then she had gone to bed and I was tired of hiding everything. I had wanted to just snuggle up with Dean, but he was keeping his space, and I still needed to talk to Annie about the headstone she'd seen. This was hard for me and I knew that Annie was feeling pretty left out, so I had to make this easier for her…I had to make her feel like she was still my sister, no matter how many years we'd lost together. Annie opened the door and motioned for me to come into her room, crawling back under the covers and then looked at me.

"What is it, Lanni?" Annie asked me.

I took a deep breath. "The headstone you saw today…I lost a baby."

"I figured." Annie said with a nod.

"I'm sorry I never told you. I just—I didn't know how to bring it up." I explained to her and sighed. "God, I _know_ that's not an excuse, but I just…there's so much to tell you and I didn't know if you were going on information overload already or not. I'm really sorry."

Annie nodded at me and patted the bed next to her, me sitting down on it and putting my arm around her. She leaned into me, her head on my shoulder, and I smiled at her—I wanted her to feel this comfortable with me _all_ the time. It was time to let every wall I had up, down, and I felt comfortable with her, so why had I waited this long?

"It's okay, you know." Annie told me. "I wouldn't know how to tell you if that had happened to me."

"Is there anything…are we all right?" I asked her.

Annie nodded at me. "Yes…but…Lanni…who was Casey's father?"

"Oh, Dean." I answered with a blush. "Dean and I are dating, and I'm in love with him. Sorry, I should have started with that. We conceived the baby, we were dealing with things, Chelsea shot me, and I lost the baby…Dean and I are still very much together, and—"

"—Chelsea's here." Sam said suddenly, coming into Annie's room.

Annie blushed and pulled the covers up around her even though she was clothed, and I smiled at her and stood up. I headed towards Sam, getting up off of Annie's bed, and I opened my mouth to say something to him when Annie cut in. Annie was going to be pro-active, and I was going to let her be just that.

"Sam, I kind of need to get dressed." Annie told him. "So, uh…you're gonna have to leave."

Sam nodded and blushed, and then Annie pulled a sweatshirt over her tank top and I started to laugh. She gave me a look and I just waved it off and then the two of us headed outside of the house. Chelsea was standing there, smiling at us, the moonlight hitting the red of her hair.

"So…the little Meckenzie is alive, huh?" Chelsea asked with a nod. "Too bad it won't be for long."

I opened my mouth to say something, but Annie narrowed her eyes at Chelsea and Chelsea went flying. I was freaking out a little, honestly feeling scared and I didn't know why, I just…where the Hell had she learned that? I mean _I_ didn't even know how to do that…maybe she was just more focused than me? Did it have to do with her being psychic at all?

"Annie…how the hell did you do that?" I asked her.

Annie turned to me. "I'm psychic, Lanni…remember?"

I nodded slowly. "I remember."

"Wow…you have some punch in you." Chelsea said, getting up and wiping blood off of her mouth.

As worried as I was about what I had just seen, I knew I had to focus on Chelsea because she was a threat. Besides, I could get to Annie later—right then Chelsea was making her way towards us and I was worried about a little _too_ much. I wanted everything to be fine, but at the same time I knew that where Chelsea was concerned, _nothing_ was fine…and I still didn't know _how_ to kill her once and for all.

"Leave Annie alone, Chelsea. Your fight is with me." I told her, getting in between her and Chelsea.

"Its okay, Lanni…if Chelsea wants to fight me, she can." Annie said, sending Chelsea into another tree.

I firmly stood my ground, wishing that there was a way to get out of this _without_ Annie using her powers. It seemed to me that Annie using her powers was doing us more harm than good, and though she didn't understand that, I was starting too. Chelsea needed to go and she needed to go right then and there without any casualties…she needed to go and stay gone long enough for me to figure out how to kill her once and for all.

"You haven't seen the last of me." Chelsea said, and she disappeared into thin air practically which made me wonder…why did she go so easily?

"Now she's knows I'm alive." Annie told me, and I just nodded and took her hand when she reached out for mine, both of us heading inside and running into Sam.

Sam took a deep breath. "We have another case—we have to go."

xxxx

"Helena was our top buyer. She was like…family, you know?" The owner of the jewelry store told Sam and I.

Sam and I had come to talk to the owner while Annie and Dean talked to the girl who ran the jewelry counter. At first I was kind of pissed about that, but Annie had it all under control in case Dean got out of hand and hit on the girl back. She was _definitely_ eyeing my man, and I was _not_ going to take that lying down…except I kind of was.

"She said it herself. Every year at the Christmas party. We were the only family she had." The man continued with a sad nod.

Sam nodded at him. "So there were never any signs?"

"No. I still can't believe it, even now. Helena came back to the store late that night after closing—cleaned out all the display cases, the safe—Edgar, our Nightwatchman. He caught her in the act. He didn't know what to do. He'd known her for years. He called me at home…" The man explained, trailing off.

"That's when she took his gun…" I chimed in slowly.

"She shot him in the face…I heard him die…" The man said suddenly. "Over the phone."

I felt really bad for the man, but at the same time I was distracted by the woman over with Dean and Annie hitting on him. Annie was cutting into part of their conversation and even put her hand on Dean's shoulder as he chuckled awkwardly…what was going on?

"Any idea what would have made her do it?" Sam asked him.

"What motive? It makes no sense." He replied, shaking his head. "Why steal all those diamonds, all that jewelry and then what? Just dump it somewhere? Just hide it and then go home…and kill herself?"

I looked at him. "What about the security camera footage?"

"I wouldn't know." The man admitted.

"So you never saw the footage yourself then?" Sam asked as Annie and Dean joined us.

The man shook his head. "The police—they took all the tapes first thing."

"Yeah, of course they did." Dean said, looking at a piece of paper in his hand and then looking at us.

"Thanks for your time." I told the owner, and he nodded.

We all went out to the car and Dean ripped up the piece of paper and dropped it onto the ground. I bent down to pick it up, sighing, but Dean stopped my hands and shook his head, sending me a look when I pouted at him.

"You're littering and I'm not going to tolerate it." I explained to him.

Dean pulled me close to him. "It's fine, just leave it."

"Was that…her _number_?" I asked him, gasping a little and then kissing him. "And you ripped it up because you _love _me."

"Lanni, not in front of Sam and Annie." Dean told me, groaning a little but returning the kisses I placed on his mouth.

Annie laughed loudly. "The girl was pretty much throwing herself at him…but he didn't stop the flirting."

"He wouldn't." I laughed, but kissed him again. "At the same time, annoyed as I am, I love that he ripped it up."

"Okay, enough PDA please…we have a case." Sam said and then laughed and shook his head when I kissed Dean one more time, only a little longer, and then pulled away and got into the backseat.

Dean looked pretty pleased with himself and got into the driver's seat, turning the engine over and heading out onto the road. We drove along for a couple minutes before we came to another bank that had been robbed in a similar fashion a while before, so we went to investigate it. Unfortunately, just like at the other place, the security tapes had been confiscated and we needed them to do our job.

"Freaking cops." Dean muttered, turning off the car.

Sam sent him a look. "They're just doing their job."

"No they're doing _our_ job. They just don't know it, so they suck at it." Dean replied with a sigh.

"I think you're being too hard on them." Annie told him. "They don't know what we know."

Dean shrugged and got out of the car. "Talk to me about this bank."

"Um, Milwaukee National Trust—hit about a month ago." Sam answered, getting out himself.

"Same M.O. as the jewelry store?" Dean asked.

Annie nodded at him. "Yeah. Inside job, longtime employee—the 'never in a million years' type."

"Dude robs the bank then goes home and supposedly commits suicide." Sam added with a nod.

"This guy Resnick, he was the security guard on duty?" Dean asked us.

I nodded at him. "Yeah, he was actually beaten unconscious by the teller who heisted the place."

"Oh God." Dean said with a sigh.

"Yeah." Annie replied as Sam knocked on the door.

I tugged on Dean's blazer and he turned to me, letting me make sure he was fixed as Sam called for Ronald Resnick. Dean pretended for a moment that he was annoyed, but he smiled at me and then leaned in for a kiss, me leaning up and meeting him the rest of the way, pulling away when Annie knocked. Then the porch light came on, and it was _incredibly_ bright and directly in our faces.

"Son of a—" Dean said and then Ronald showed himself to us and came to the glass door, peering at us expectantly.

Sam spoke up first. "FBI, Mr. Resnick."

"Let me see your badges." Ronald said.

The four of us opened up our fake badges and placed them on the glass door for him to see them. He looked over all of them and nodded—thankfully he believe us—and then he looked up at us. He was convinced, but at the same time he was weary of us, and I could honestly understand that.

"I already gave my statement to the police." Ronald told us.

"Yeah, listen, Ronald, um, just some things about your statement we want to get come clarification on." Dean explained to him.

Ronald looked surprised. "You read it?"

"Sure did." Dean said with a nod.

"Come to listen to what I gotta say?" Ronald asked us.

Annie smiled at him. "Well that's why we're here."

"Come on in." Ronald said, excited someone was listening to him.

"Interesting house." I whispered to Dean.

Dean nodded and ran his hand down my back to my posterior. "Think they'd miss us for two moments?"

"Not the time, Dean." I whispered back with a smile. "But I'm sure we could steal the room for a bit when we get back."

"See, none of the cops ever called me back—not after I told them what was really going on. They all thought I was crazy." Ronald explained, showing us to a room. "First off, Juan Morales didn't rob the Milwaukee National Trust, okay. That I guarantee. Me and Juan were friends. He used to come back to the bank on my night shifts, and we'd play cards."

Sam nodded slowly. "So _you_ let him into the bank that night, after hours?"

"The thing I let into the bank…wasn't Juan. I mean it had his face, but it wasn't _his_ face." Ronald said as Annie and I exchanged glances. "Every feature on his face was prefect, but _too_ perfect, you know? Like a doll maker made it—like I was talking to a big Juan doll."

"A Juan doll?" Sam asked skeptically.

I smiled at him because I had a feeling that Ronald had an idea of what he was talking about, but at the same time…I was worried. The guy was snooping and I was worried about what kind of trouble that would get him into if he continued it. Still, I listened for more of his story, because that _was_ why we were there.

Ronald looked up from his papers. "Look, something like this has happened before too. There was this jewelry store too, and I mean the cops and you guys. You—you just won't see it." Ronald said as Sam flipped through the folder. "Both crimes were pulled by the same thing."

"What's that, Mr. Resnick?" Sam asked him calmly.

"The Chinese have been working on it for a while, and the Russians before that. Part man, part machine. Like the Terminator—but the kind that can change itself." Ronald said, almost excitedly, which made me crack a smile. "Like into other people."

"Like the one from 'T2'." Dean put in with a smile.

"Exactly!" Ronald told Dean, and Sam sent him a look and me, so I wiped the smile off.

Even though Dean didn't always know what he was talking about when it came to research and things, he knew movies. My man was a movie buff and I thought it was adorable…considering I had been certain when he had gone to movies, he had a lady attached to him so why watch it?

"See, so not just a robot. More of a—a—a—a Man-Droid!" Ronald exclaimed and then he gave us an enthusiastic nod.

"A Man-Droid?" Sam asked again.

"Now what makes you so sure about this, Ronald?" Annie asked.

Ronald motioned for us to have a seat, and he pulled out a tape and put it into the VCR. "See, I made copies of all of the security tapes. I knew that once the cops got them, they'd be buried. Here. Now watch—watch—watch him—watch, watch! See! Look! There it is! He's got the laser eyes!"

When Ronald paused the tape to show us, I nodded because we all knew we were dealing with another shape shifter. We couldn't tell Ronald that though…could we? I mean he knew that something was up and he knew that something was wrong but he just _wasn't_ a hunter, he just wasn't, and I didn't want to be responsible for getting him killed.

"Cops said it was some sort of reflected light. Some sort of 'camera flare'." Ronald explained, using his fingers. "Okay? Ain't no damn camera flare! They say I'm a post trauma case. So what? The bank goes and fires me. It don't matter. The Man-Droid is still out there. If the law won't hunt this thing down, then I will."

I smiled at him softly. "That's pretty noble, there, Ronald. Tell us more about this…this Man-Droid."

He smiled a little too. "You see this thing, it—it—it—it kills the real person, makes it look like a suicide, then it sort of like, morphs into that person, cases the job for a while until the take is fat, and then finds its opening. Now these robberies, they're all grouped together. So I figure that the Man-Droid is hold up somewhere in the middle—maybe underground—I don't know. Maybe—maybe that's where it recharges its—its—M-Man-Droid batteries."

Dean, Annie and I figured that for a clueless man, this was pretty amazing, and we gave slight looks of approval. It was just that I knew how Sam felt, and so when I saw the look on his face, I knew that he wasn't really looking to give Ronald the kind of approval that Annie, Dean and I were willing to give him. Ronald deserved points for his intelligence, but there was definitely no way that I wanted him out there in the middle of hunt either, so I was siding with Sam's feelings…just hoping Sam wouldn't crush Ronald's too bad and maybe let _me_ deliver the blow.

"Okay." Sam said slowly.

"Sam…" Annie began, both of us knowing what that 'okay' sounded like, but he ignored her.

"I want you to listen very carefully, 'cause I'm about to tell you the God honest truth." Sam said, all of us standing up and Ronald getting excited, Dean thinking Sam was going to be truthful. "There's no such thing as Man-Droids. There's nothing evil or inhuman going on out there. Its just people." He said, and Ronald's face and all of ours really, got a little sadder. "Nothing else. You understand?"

"The laser eyes—" Ronald said desperately and sadly.

Sam shook his head and cut in. "Just a camera flare, Mr. Resnick. Now I know you don't want to hear this, but your friend, Juan robbed a bank and that's it."

"Get out of my house, now!" Ronald yelled at him.

"Yeah, sure. First things first." He told him, and Dean, Annie and I gave him looks as he confiscated the security tapes, and then we went back to the motel.

Annie grabbed one of the beds, and I sat in a chair in the kitchen/dining area and Dean grabbed a beer out of the fridge and then we all changed a bit and lounged around as Sam set us up to look over the tapes more thoroughly. Dean sat down next to me and ran his fingers through my hair, and I smiled and reached out to rest my hand on his knee as he took a swig of his beer.

"Man, that's gotta be the kicker, straight-up. You told that poor son of a bitch to—what did you say, "remand the tapes that he copied"? "Classified evidence to an ongoing investigation"? That's messed up." Dean told Sam as Sam sat down to watch the tape again once he had things in place.

Annie was lying on one of the beds with her eyes closed, thinking about things—she tended to do that a lot. She wasn't the most talkative, but when it came to action, she was all over it better than any of us. I think she really just wanted to be accepted into our group, and I understood that—I understood that she wanted to feel like she belonged and though _I_ thought she did, I understood her need to _prove_ that.

"What are you, pissed at me or something?" Sam asked him.

Dean shook his head. "No, I just think it's a little creepy how good a fed you are. I mean come on, we could have at least thrown the guy a bone—he did some pretty good legwork here."

"Man-Droid?" Sam asked us.

I shrugged and smiled. "Except for the Man-Droid part."

"I liked him. He's not that different from us, Sammy—people think we're crazy." Dean told him with a shrug.

"Yeah, except he's not a hunter, Dean. He's just a guy who stumbled onto something real. If he were to go up against this thing, he'd get torn apart. Better to stay in the dark and stay alive." Sam said, getting a little testy.

Dean sighed and shrugged again. "Yeah, I guess."

"Sammy…chill out." I told him, running my fingers through his hair. "Seriously."

Sam leaned back into my hand a little as I tried to calm him down since I was on his side _and_ on Dean's, and I smiled. It was nice for us to be able to just sit around comfortably and still be able to work on a hunt. Shapeshifters…I wasn't familiar with them because I hadn't been with the boys when they had taken the Shapeshifter out, but I knew that Dean took this personally.

"Shapeshifter. Just like back in St. Louis." Sam explained, looking at the tape and acting a little more calm. "Same retinal reaction to video."

"Eyes flare at the camera. I hate those freaking things." Dean said, starting to map out something.

Sam looked over at him. "You think I don't?"

"Yeah, well one didn't turn into you and frame you for murder." Dean explained, going back to his connection of robberies along the sewer system, and I went over to sit next to him, resting my hand on his leg.

"Well, look, if this shifter's anything like the one we killed in Missouri…" Sam began.

"Then Ronald's right." Annie said.

"Alright, they like to lair up underground—preferably sewers. All the robberies have been connected so far, right? Through the uh—sewer, main layout." Dean asked him.

I nodded and looked at Dean's information. "Yeah."

"There's one more bank lined up on that same sewer main." Dean said, pointing at it.

xxxx

I woke up that morning and turned over, frowning a little because Dean wasn't there and waking up without him sucked. I got up and ran my fingers through my hair, kissing Sam's forehead as he slept, and heading out into the main area, kissing Annie's head too and then looking up at Dean. He was sipping his coffee and looking over the research some more, and I sat down next to him, putting my hands in my lap and eyeing him.

"Someone…wasn't in bed when I woke up." I told him slowly, tugging on his button-up and pouting a little. "Where's _my _coffee?"

Dean looked at me and smirked. "Eh, I figured you didn't need any."

"You are an evil, _evil_ man." I said, raising my eyebrows. "If I wasn't madly in love with you, I'd—thank you."

"I'm pretty sure denying you caffeine would be the last thing I'd ever do." Dean told me, watching as I took the Starbucks cup from him. "White Chocolate Mocha, just like you like—they were out of Pumpkin Spice."

I sipped my coffee and then set the cup down and looked at him. "Wow…you really _do_ know me."

"God help me, but I do." Dean replied, reaching out to stroke my hair. "I've become some romantic or something and it's kind of your fault."

I grinned and then leaned in, running my nose along his, welcoming the kiss he pressed to my mouth. I pulled him close to me, slipping my fingers into his hair and opening up my mouth for his tongue. We ran our tongues along each other's for a moment and then Dean chuckled, which made me pull away a little, still running my fingertips along his scalp.

"What?" I asked him, smiling a little.

Dean shook his head a little. "For a girly coffee drink, those White Chocolate Mochas aren't too shabby.

I laughed and then nodded, kissing him again and making my way onto his lap, only to pull away again when Annie cleared her throat. We knew it was time to get down to business—and not the kind of business Dean and I were thinking about right then. Still, we knew when we had to buckle down, I kissed him swiftly and then got off of his lap and turned to Annie as I grabbed my coffee.

"You sleep well, Annie?" I asked her.

Annie yawned, stretched, and then nodded. "I slept beautifully. Is Sam up yet? When do we leave?"

"We have to get dressed first, but we can go anytime we want, really." Dean explained, letting go of my hand.

"We might as well just go now." I said as I sipped my coffee and shrugged.

Annie nodded and so the three of us went to go and wake Sam up, then we all got dressed as camera maintenance people. Our plan was to go over to the City Bank of Milwaukee and check out the cameras, hoping to find the man or woman who was really the Shapeshifter. Then and _only_ then, would we make our move and go after the Shapeshifter before anyone else died, but it seemed kind of like over kill to me.

"Isn't four of us too much?" I asked Dean as I fixed my collar. "I mean you and Sam have it under control and maybe Annie and I could go like pretend to take out a loan or something."

Sam laughed and shrugged. "Or we could split up—you and me and then Annie and Dean. Annie and Dean could check the tapes, and you and I can just wait around for their signal."

"I second that motion." Annie said, and shrugged. "It could be more fun this way."

"Fine, whatever—let's just go." Dean replied with a shrug.

xxxx

**Annie's POV**

"Well, we haven't had any flags go up on our system yet." The security guard told us.

Dean shook his head. "No, no, no this is a glitch on the overall grid. Just want to make sure the branch monitors are kosher."

"Better to be safe than sorry, I guess." The guard answered.

"That's the plan." I said and smiled at him with a knob.

"Alrighty. Here we are. You guys need anything else?" The man asked with a smile.

I shook my head. "No, no, we'll be in and out before you know it. Just a routine check."

For some reason I was _really_ excited to be hanging out with Dean on a hunt, even _if_ I knew he wasn't as happy about it. I'd come to notice that Dean and Sam were more willing to trust me since Lana trusted me with her life, but at the same time, Dean was wary of Lana and Sam spending too much time together. It wasn't that he didn't trust them…it was just that they apparently had a past…a past I wish I knew more about so I could help Dean through things if he needed.

"Okie dokie." The guard told us, and then left Dean and me alone.

Dean smiled after he left. "I like him. He says, 'Okie dokie'."

"What if he's the shifter?" I asked him with a smile.

"Well, then we follow him home and put a silver bullet through his chest plate." Dean replied as we took seats to watch the monitors. "So…got popcorn?"

I smiled and then laughed and was glad that he smiled back at me—the 'in' with Dean Winchester was to appeal to his ego. We both looked at all of the cameras and I pointed out Sam and Lana walking in and though Dean acted like he was cool about it, he hated that Sam and Lana were holding hands. I actually wondered what was going on too…why had Sam offered for Lana to be with _him_ this time around…did he _like_ her?

"Well, it looks like Mr. Okeydokey's…okeydokey." Dean said, looking at a different monitor.

I took a breath. "Maybe we jumped the gun on this, Dean. We don't even know it's here."

"Mm-hmm." Dean replied, and he sounded involved as I was speaking.

"Maybe we should just go back to the sewers and…and…" I trailed off as I looked at Dean zooming the camera in on Lana's behind as she bent over after being seated by one of the loan managers and I rolled my eyes. "Dean, as cute as I think it is that you're attracted to Lana _that _much we're supposed to be looking for eyes not asses."

Dean smirked. "I'm getting there."

"Oh yeah?" I asked him, raising my eyebrows.

"Yeah." Dean replied and then he pointed at a monitor. "Wait a minute. Hello freak."

I smiled at the monitor. "Got him."

I got up to go and go to the door to try and give Sam and Lana the signal, but Dean reached out and grabbed my hand. I was confused, but turned to look at him and after brief eye contact, he pointed to the screen and I sighed loudly—Ronald was outside the bank and he had a gun.

"Hello, Ronald." Dean said aloud and sighed.

"Well things just got more complicated." I told him and sighed too, Dean dropping my hand.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I took a deep breath when Sam and I walked into the bank hand in hand and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze as we headed for one of the loan managers. Sam introduced us Mr. and Mrs. Burke, and we were looking to get a loan for a house since we were newlyweds. I honestly didn't mind playing this part, and I knew I should feel bad about that, but I didn't—we were doing a job and it wasn't like Sam and I didn't care about each other—we did—so acting loving wasn't a stretch at all.

"Well I'm going to have to run some checks and then we'll have a better understanding of what's going on here." The manager explained, taking mine and Sam's fake IDs.

I nodded at him, standing up after dropping my purse, bending over to pick it up. "I'm _so_ clumsy, I'm sorry."

"Baby, people are looking." Sam told me softly, giving my behind a quick slap and smiling at me as I giggled.

"Hands, Baby, hands." I said and then sat down and flipped my hair. "I'm sorry he just can't keep his hands off of me."

The manager swallowed and then he told us he'd be right back, taking a deep breath and heading away from us. I turned to Sam and smiled at him, Sam smiling back and then picking an eyelash off of my face and holding it up to me on his finger. I pondered what I wanted and then made my wish, blowing the eyelash off and turning around when we heard Ronald come in and order everyone to get on the floor.

"Fabulous." I muttered and then Sam and I found Annie and Dean rushing in, near us.

Dean took a deep breath after glancing over at me and looked at Sam. "And you said we shouldn't bring guns."

"I didn't know this was gonna happen Dean." Sam protested. "I had no idea that Ronald was going to come barging in here and try to be a big hero, so how about we cut the sarcasm and actually _do_ something, shall we? We can't let him get hurt—did you find anything?"

"Yeah, the shapeshifter is here, nd uh, why don't you let _me_ do all the talking. I don't think he likes you very much, Agent Johnson." Dean said, and then he looked at Ronald. "Hey Buddy. Why don't you just calm down. Calm down."

Ronald did a double-take at seeing Dean again and then pointed the gun at us. "What? You! Get on the floor! Now!"

"Okay, we're doing that. Just don't shoot anybody—especially us." Dean told him as we all got down on the floor.

"I knew it the moment you guys left. Who are you? Who are you working for, huh? The Men in Black?" Ronald asked and then something seemed to click for him. "You working for the Man-Droid?"

Sam sighed loudly. "We're not working for the Man-Droid!"

"You shut-up! I ain't talkin' to you! I don't like you!" Ronald cried angrily.

We all gave him looks and for once Sam _actually_ looked a little scared—and to top it off he looked scared of _Ronald_. I mean the guy was intimidating now, but he certainly hadn't been before. Now we had to find a way to get through this with no casualties…yeah because that was _exactly_ how things worked out for us when we were hunting.

"Fair enough." Sam said softly.

"You…get over there. Frisk them down. Make sure they ain't got no weapons." Ronald told a man on the floor. "Go!"

The man obeyed, and we were all clean—except Dean—Dean had a knife on him. It was like Dean to carry one wherever he went, but at the same time, I was kind of annoyed that he had brought a knife when we had all agreed on _no_ weapons. He felt naked without it, I understood that, but now we were in an even bigger mess than I had thought we were in before.

"And what do we have here?" Ronald asked as Annie, Sam and I gave Dean a look.

Dean looked at us. "I'm not just gonna walk in here naked."

"Give that here." Ronald said, and got rid of Dean's knife.

"No, no, no!" Dean called out to him. "We know you don't want to hurt anybody. But that's exactly what's gonna happen if you keep waving that canon around. Now why don't you let these people go?"

"No!" Ronald cried. "I already told you. If no one's gonna stop this thing, then I'm going to do it myself!"

I really did feel like Ronald was being noble here, but at the same time I had the worst feeling that this was going to get him killed and I hated to think about it like that. He was a good man, and he just wanted to be heard, and he had _every_ right to want that. Now, we just had to appeal to him, and I was pretty certain that I knew _exactly_ how to do that.

I looked up at him. "We believe you!"

"That's why we're here." Annie added, nodding at what I had blurted out.

"You don't believe me!" Ronald yelled at us. "No one believes me! Why should they?"

"Come here." Dean said after a long pause.

Ronald was surprised at the soft command. "What? No."

"You're the one holding the gun, Boss. You're the one calling the shots." Dean explained. "I just want to tell you something. Come here."

Ronald seemed to think that was a logical enough explanation, and so he slowly came towards us and looked at Dean to continue. Dean nodded slowly and I glanced around at everyone on the floor, wondering what Dean was going to say next _and_ trying to figure out a way to get us all out of here _without_ having to resort to magic.

"It's the bank manager." Dean whispered to him.

Ronald looked at him. "What?"

"Why do you think we got these get-ups, huh? We've been monitoring the cameras in the back. We saw the bank manager. We saw his eyes." Dean explained slowly.

"His laser eyes?" Ronald asked hopefully.

"Yes. No. No!" Dean replied, waving his arms. "Look, we're running out of time, all right! We gotta find him before he changes into someone else!"

I was glad that Dean was being truthful with him—it seemed like we _all_ should have done that to begin with—but at the same time I worried. At first it looked like Ronald believed everything he was saying, but at the same time, he knew that he couldn't' trust us. Could you even blame the guy? We had barged into his home, taken the security tapes he had gotten a hold of, and dashed every dream that he had had about Man-Droids. He had finally thought he was onto something and we had ruined it for him effortlessly…so why should he trust us at all?

"Like I'm gonna listen to you. You're a damn liar." Ronald told Dean, who started to get up with his hands in the air even with a look of protest from me. "I'll shoot you! Get down!"

"Take me. Okay? Take me with you. Take me as a hostage. But we gotta act fast, because the longer we just sit here, the more time he has to change." Dean explained, getting to his feet. "Look at me, Man. I believe you. You're not crazy. There really is something inside this bank."

"All right." Ronald said softly. "Y-You come with me. But everyone else gets in the vault! Come on! Move! Move, move! You lock up."

Everyone filed into the vault and I took a deep breath and stayed near the entrance of it as Ronald pointed the gun at Dean. He wanted Dean to stay with him and explain some more, and yet he wanted us all locked up too so that if one of us was this Shapeshifter/Man-Droid, we wouldn't be able to do any harm at all.

"Dean…" I said stepping up to the door of it.

Dean looked at Ronald as Ronald began to protest. "Just hold off a moment, please?"

"Fine…make it quick!" Ronald told him.

"Be careful. If you get yourself killed chasing this thing, I swear—" I told him, but smiled and returned the kiss he silenced me with.

I didn't care that everyone in the back could see us, and it made me feel even better when he pulled me closer and nipped at my bottom lip. He loved me, and he wanted me to know that he was going to be fine, but I was still upset and I didn't want to be separated from him. I just wanted Dean to be all right, and him kissing me to shut me up _wasn't_ telling me that he was going to be all right.

"Lanni—you worry too much. I'm going to be fine." Dean replied softly, and then kissed me one more time before he looked up at the rest of the people in the vault. "Its okay everyone. Stay cool."

A pretty blonde woman watched Dean close the vault door. "Who is that man?"

"He's my brother." Sam explained to her.

"He is so brave." She said with a dreamy smile on her face.

Sam rolled his eyes and I wished that I could muster up enough niceness to explain to her sweetly that he was mine but it wasn't worth it. I knew he was, and I needed to focus on getting us all out of the vault and at the same time getting us all out safely. Annie went around to make sure everyone was all right and I looked at Sam after glancing at the blonde…marking my territory was simply going to have to wait.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

After shutting the vault, I looked over at Ronald and he motioned with the gun and I sighed—I really _did_ like the guy but now he was getting in my way. I needed silver and I needed it fast, and I need to figure out where the Shapeshifter had headed off to. If Ronald hadn't come running in, his gun blazing, this probably would have been a _much_ easier hunt.

"So…that girl…" Ronald told me, trailing off as I led him back out to the front desk, looking for silver.

I smiled and I knew he could see it. "Lanni?"

"You work with her?" Ronald asked me.

"Sam's my younger brother—the one you don't like. Annie is Lanni's younger sister, and Lanni…well she's mine." I told him reverently, wishing I hadn't said it like that even though I knew after this I'd never see Ronald again. "Lanni and Sam thought you would get hurt trying to hunt this thing down so Sam tried to make you believe you were crazy. I'm sorry about that, I am, but they had your best interests at heart, Ronald."

Ronald scoffed as I examined a letter opener. "He could have gone about it differently."

"He should have let Lanni sugar-coat it is what he should have done." I explained to Ronald with a small laugh and shake of my head. "If there's one thing that Lanni's amazing at, it's getting someone to do something and think it was _their_ idea in the first place. I mean Hell, I didn't even realize that was how things were until I was already in love with her and unable to change it…and I don't want to."

I looked at Ronald, the letter opener real silver, and then we went to the bank manager's office as he took in the information that I was feeding him. I hadn't even explained all of this to Lana yet, and still it felt good to get it all off of my chest. Being in love with Lana Meckenzie was both infuriating and intoxicating and I wasn't sure whether or not it was a good thing. I loved her, and I would do anything for her, but there was always a voice in the back of my head telling me that I was going to get her killed…that I was just hurting the one thing in this world that I cared the _most_ about…besides Sammy.

"You're going to let her go, right?" I asked Ronald.

He looked at me. "Once this is over everyone can go—I don't want to hurt anyone, I just want to find this thing."

"I just want her safe, Ron." I told him, breaking off eye contact with him when he nodded slowly to reassure me that no harm would come to her. "Son of a bitch."

I looked over at the patch of skin on the ground and explained to Ronald that this was bad—that the Shapshifter had shed its skin and it could be anyone. We needed to go back to the vault and we needed to figure out who the Shapeshifter was now…we needed to make sure that there weren't any stragglers still left in the bank.

"Oh my God," Ronald said as we were headed back, "I'm not crazy. I thought that I was losing my mind but I was _right_—except for the whole Man-Droid part…thank you."

I nodded at him. "Well don't mention it."

He smiled and we started walking again until the lights all went off and I had to do a double take—oh this was _not_ good. The lights going out meant that the cops were here, and that meant that I was in deep shit. I was wanted, and the cops were surrounding the bank…how in the Hell were we going to get _out_ of here once this was over.

"Oh no…no, no, no, no, no." I said, glancing around at the darkness.

Ronald looked around with the gun waved. "What? What is it?"

"They cut the power—it's probably their way of saying 'hi'." I explained, walking on.

"Who's way?" Ronald asked me.

I looked at him. "The cops."

"The cops?" Ronald asked, stopping in his tracks.

I turned to him and realized that I was going to have to explain _this_ to him as well and even though I wasn't jazzed about it, I needed him on his toes. This had all just gotten a _lot_ more serious, and if he was flipping out, he was a liability and I couldn't have that.

"Well you weren't exactly a smooth criminal about this, Ron! I mean you didn't even secure the security guard—he probably called them." I explained to him.

Ron looked flustered. "I mean, I didn't think—"

"—calm down, calm down, let's take a breath and think about this a minute here." I told him calmly. "All right, they probably got us surrounded, they cut the power to the cameras so there's no way to tell who the Shapeshifter is…it's not looking good, Ron."

I turned to keep walking and Ron followed me, freaking out and with his gun in hand. Then we heard a noise and Ron was suddenly alert, making me start to think things over a little more. Whatever we needed to do we needed to do it fast, and for that I needed Sam, Lana and Annie—they were the only ones who were going to help me finish this like it needed to be finished.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"Has your brother always been so, um…wonderful?" The blonde woman asked Sam.

Annie looked from her to me. "Wow…women want your man."

"Yeah, sadly I know this." I told her, rubbing my temples and glancing at the vault door.

"I mean staring down that gun…and the way he played right into that psycho crazy's head by telling him exactly what he wanted to hear? I mean he's like…a real hero or something." The blonde chuckled.

"Yeah…yeah." Sam said, and he looked very much like he wanted her away from him and I couldn't blame her—she was annoying me and it was getting excruciatingly hot in the vault with all of us in there.

I turned when Dean opened up the vault door though, and I smiled at him, losing my smile when the blonde started flipping out, not noticing the gun in his hand now—Ronald had obviously decided to trust him. It was nice that Dean had a fan and his ego was being boosted, but did she have to be so Goddamn annoying while she was jumping for joy and screaming about how wonderful he was?

"Oh my God—he saved us! He saved us!" The blonde cried hysterically happy.

"Actually, I found a few more. Come on, guys." Dean said, letting a huge group of more people into the vault, the blonde looking like all her hopes had been dashed.

She gaped at him. "What are you doing?"

"Look, guys, Ronald and I need to talk to you." Dean said, looking at Sam, Annie and I, and we nodded, leaving the vault, leaving the hostages behind.

I looked at Ronald and then looked at Dean as Ronald went to go and hold down the fort, looking at Annie and then taking a breath. Dean stepped in close to me, but not romantically, and looked me over with his eyes to make sure I was fine and it warmed my heart. He wasn't going to say anything about it because it wasn't the time, but at the same time it was nice to know that he wanted me safe and alive.

"What's going on?" I asked him, getting down to business.

Dean took a deep breath. "It shed its skin again. We don't know where it went. It could be in the halls. It could be in the vault. To top it all off, the cops are here and they've cut off the power so they have to be surrounding us."

"Great. You know Dean you _are_ wanted by the police." Sam told him.

Dean rubbed his chin. "Yeah."

"The shapeshifter thing where a Shapeshifter impersonated him?" Annie asked in a whisper, and I nodded.

"So even if we do find this damn thing, how the Hell are we going to get out of here?" Sam asked Dean, and we all wanted to know the answer to that.

"Yeah, one problem at a time." Dean explained to him. "Lanni and I are going to do a sweep of the whole place—see if we can find any stragglers. As much as I like that you care about her and you protect her, I don't need you slapping her ass anymore. Then when we get everyone together, we're going to play a little game called 'find the freak' so…here. I found another one of these things for you." Dean explained and then pointed at Annie. "Now you and Annie stay here. Make sure Ron doesn't hurt anybody…help him manage."

"Help him manage? Are you insane?" Sam asked loudly and Annie sent me a look.

Ronald looked over at Dean who smiled and looked at him and gave a reassuring hand gesture. The two of them had obviously bonded, and though Sam and Annie looked annoyed to be paired up together, they had to because Dean had told them to. Besides, Ron needed the help because he had _no_ idea what he was going and the four of us completely knew that.

"I have to stay with PMS Man?" Annie asked aloud.

I laughed a little. "Ronald likes us, don't worry about it. If all else fails, you can keep Sammy in line."

"Look, I know this isn't going the way we wanted it." Dean explained to them.

"Understatement!" Sam cried out.

"Yeah, all right, but if we let the cops in right now, Ronald gets arrested. We get arrested, and the shifter gets away, and we'll probably never find it again, okay?" Dean said and then Sam motioned to Ronald. "Ron! Get out of the light!"

Ron moved and Annie and I smiled a bit at him because as clueless as he was, he was adorable and that much couldn't be argued with. He was trying so hard to fit in with us and to do what we needed him to do, and he was following Dean's orders with absolutely no question. Having him kept in line was making the hunt seem that much less daunting, and that was definitely a good thing for me.

"I like him." Annie told me.

I nodded at her. "Me too."

"Seriously?" Sam asked as Dean chuckled.

"Ron had a bit of a bad plan. It was bit of a crazy plan. But crazy is the game in town, okay?" Dean asked Sam.

"We can do it, Sammy. Don't freak." Annie said, and I smiled at her. "Take care of her, okay, Hot Shot? I know you love her and all that jazz, but seriously—I want her to come through this."

Dean nodded at her. "I promise, Annie."

I rolled my eyes and told her and Sam to be careful before I went off with Dean and he smiled at me as he turned on his flashlight. Then he chuckled and I looked at him, sweeping my flashlight over the walls and heading down the hall with him, going towards the offices.

"What's so funny?" I asked him.

Dean shook his head. "I just find it funny that in a crisis Annie still has time to threaten me just in case I get you killed or something."

"She told me you checked my ass out in the security cameras." I told him with a laugh.

"That was _much_ more fun before Sam reached over and hit it." Dean admitted and then he pointed up to the ceiling of the room we'd entered. "This seem to sag more than the rest of it?"

I looked up. "Yeah, actually."

"Hmmm." Dean said with a nod.

I reached over and grabbed a coat rack, handing it to him and he lifted it, pushing on the ceiling and then it broke. It had been sagging because a dean man had happened to be shoved up there, and he fell onto the ground—the body of a man that was very much alive in the vault. That meant we had to go back to the vault and get the shifter to come out with us so that we could take care of it once and for all.

"Well…we found him." I told him with a sigh. "You know, I wish it had been a sack of gross, shed skin instead of a cold, dead body with blood all over."

Dean nodded at him in agreement. "Yeah…better go tell Sammy."

I sighed and nodded at that because Sam and Annie needed to know what was going on and who the Shapeshifter was. So the two of us went to go and tell Sam, but before we got there, I took Dean's hand and he stopped in his tracks. I knew he had a feeling things were about to get mushy and I knew it wasn't the time, but I couldn't help it.

"Hey…Dean?" I asked him slowly and softly.

He turned to me. "Yeah?"

"I know it's not the time…but I love you." I assured him, looking into his eyes.

He smiled at me and kissed me, pouring more into me through just one kiss than he had in a little while. I couldn't stop myself from wrapping my arms around his neck, kissing him lovingly and then I pulled back and I kissed him swiftly. We needed to do this hunt—that was our _main_ priority and he knew it too.

"It's always the time for that." He told me softly.

I smiled a little more and he turned to go find Sam, me following behind him and motioning for Annie and Sam when we got to them. Dean explained about the man in the vault and Sam took a deep breath, nodding, Annie heading to the vault first. She was _very_ pro-active, and yet she let Dean open _up_ the vault, and we looked at the man.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" Dean asked him.

"You've got the gun man, whatever." He said, and knocked Dean down, Annie going for him, but he knocked her down as well, one of the hostages from before that was having heart troubles, looking rather pained.

"Hey stop him!" Ronald yelled, following him with the gun, and stepping into the light.

One of the lasers from a sniper shone through and hit Ronald's back, and Annie and I ran towards him, but stopped in the dark as Dean hid. He had moved because it had been an instinct to go after the man, but it had been a bad move and we weren't going to get to him in time no matter how hard we tried.

"Get down, Ron!" Annie cried, but the bullet had already hit him, and he fell down to the ground.

We saddled up next to Dean as Sam joined us, and Sam sighed and we looked at Ronald with sadness. He had been doing _so_ much for us and now he had gotten shot and we still needed to keep the hostages. We were going to have to have Ronald's death on our conscious, and on top of that we were going to have to take over the situation…we were going to have to become the bank robbers practically…oh that was just _awesome_.

"Here. You take care of the guard—I'm going after the shifter." Sam said, handing Dean the silver and taking off.

"I want to help him." Annie replied, and went off after him before I could say anything.

"Annie!" I whispered, but she was off. "Damn that girl."

Dean looked down at Ronald. "Sorry, Ron. You did a real good job tracking this thing, you really did."

He reached down and took Ronald's gun because we were going to need it, and then took a deep breath. We both felt bad about what had just happened, but I _also_ knew the look that was in his eyes and I didn't like it one bit. He was going to run off and do something reckless and I wasn't sure how to stop him from doing that…I couldn't.

"Dean, where the Hell are you going?" I asked, but he didn't hear me, and took the guard over to the bank's front doors to let him out.

I was glad that the man was getting the attention that he needed, but at the same time he should have let _me_ do it. By the time I got to his side, he was already shutting the door and locking it up, looking flustered. I glanced out to see that there were flashes outside and immediately I got it—cops and _news crews_.

"They saw you, didn't they?" I asked him slowly.

He took a deep breath and secured the chains. "We are so screwed."

"Your phone." I told him as we went down the stairs.

"Yeah?" He answered, and I knew it was Sam. "What? Oh God, it's like playing the shell game. It could be anybody again."

I groaned at that. "It shed its skin _again_?"

"You search every inch of this place, and Lanni and I will round everybody up." Dean explained to him and then hung up the phone and looked at me. "We are so screwed, Lanni…seriously."

I reached out and took his arms, rubbing them. "We're going to figure out a way out of this because we always do, Dean…is Annie all right?"

"She's with Sam—she's fine. He won't let anything happen to her." Dean assured me, and we went to the vault, shutting people in.

We wanted to let them go—we really did—but the Shapeshifter was still out there and we knew that this was where they were safe. If they stayed locked up we could narrow the clues down to figure out which one was the monster, and then we could take him out. That was all that mattered right now…we had to finish up this hunt and make sure that _no one else_ got killed off in the process.

"And I thought you were one of the good guys." The blonde told Dean.

Dean sighed and looked at her. "What's your name?"

"Why would you care?" She asked hostilely.

"My name's Dean." Dean told her, trying to somewhat bond with her.

"Shari." She replied after a pause.

Dean nodded at her and smiled softly. "Hi, Shari. Everything's going to be all right. It's all going to be over soon, okay?"

She just nodded slowly, his voice very assuring, and then he shut the vault door and looked at me. We were kind of tired of this hunt but we had more work to do, and it didn't help that both the bank phone _and_ my cell phone went off at the same time. So Dean went to answer the bank phone, and I went to answer my cell phone, slipping around the corner so that neither of the calls conflicted with the other.

"Annie—are you all right?" I asked her. "How's Sammy."

Annie laughed a little. "We're both just fine, Lan, I just…I have a bad feeling about this."

"Welcome to my world." I said dismally and closed my eyes, rubbing my temples. "So no idea who the Shapeshifter is yet?"

"No, but I'm willing to bet you they're in the vault." Annie explained to me. "Sam and I are wrapping up our search here I just wanted to check in."

I smiled at her. "I'm thankful for that. Now I need to get back to Dean because he got a call from the cops I'm pretty sure."

"All right…be careful, Lan." Annie told me.

"I love you, Annie." I said, wanting her to know that just in case.

Annie laughed again. "I love you too, Sis. Way to be optimistic, by the way—we're going to be fine, and we're going to get out of this fine. Now go talk to Dean and Sam and I will see you both momentarily."

With that she hung up on me and I laughed a little—the girl had spunk, and she vaguely reminded me of Dean. She wasn't really into her emotions, she didn't believe in trying to set things straight just in case someone died, and she was focused on the hunt. I didn't want her to get hurt but I _did_ return to Dean, who looked like he was freaking out.

"Baby, are you okay?" I asked him.

Dean sighed and shook his head. "This Fed, he's a smart-ass like me, only stupid."

"A Fed? Damn-it." I told him with a sigh.

"And he _knows_, Lanni. He knows the three of us are in here—he doesn't know about Annie though, and he won't I promise you that." Dean assured me and then he reached out and took my hand. "I'm sorry about all of this."

I shrugged and kissed him. "Trust me, this isn't your fault."

I kissed him again because he was still freaking out about the Fed, and he ran his thumb over my cheek, pulling back. He looked me in the eye and stroked my hair, and I cocked my head to one side wondering what was up with him. I wasn't quite sure what the look was, but at the same time I wanted to know more than I wanted to finish this hunt.

"Just in case something goes wrong, I want you to promise me that you'll get out of here." Dean told me, pulling me closer to him and keeping his hand cupping my face. "No staying behind to go down with me crap, all right? You get out of here if anything goes wrong."

I opened my mouth to protest and to ask him where this was coming from, but we heard Sam and Annie and turned to them after a pause of looking into each other's eyes. He had been asking me to make such a serious promise, and I wasn't sure that I could have actually promised him that.

"Hey." Sam said with a sigh.

"Hey." Dean told him, pulling away from me and going over to him. "We've got a bit of a problem outside."

Sam chuckled. "We've got a problem in here."

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"It's best we just _show_ you." Annie replied with a sigh.

Dean and I raised our eyebrows, and then we followed Sam and Annie to another dead body and I nodded slowly. Yeah, the Shapeshifter was _definitely_ in the vault, which meant that we were going to have to go there once again to get the Shapeshifter to come with us. Someone needed to stay with the body though, just in case so we could get this taken care of once and for all.

"The blonde that was in infatuated with Dean, here." Annie explained with a nod.

I nodded slowly too. "Shari."

"Figures—first a Shapeshifter turns into me, and now one wants to get with me." Dean said dismally.

"Well at least we know who it is, now and she's less of a threat on my territory." I told him with a shrug.

Dean laughed a little and rolled his eyes, taking me with him to go and get Shari out of the vault. He opened it up and looked directly at her as she looked up at him and then he took a breath and I knew it was hard for him and yet necessary.

"Shari, we're gonna let you go." Dean told her.

She looked genuinely surprised. "What? Why me?"

"As a show of good faith to the Feds, come on." Dean said with a shrug.

"Uh, I think I'd rather stay in here. Pick somebody else." Shari replied after a pause.

Dean shook his head. "I'm afraid I'm gonna have to insist."

She nodded _very _slowly and stood up, coming over to us where Dean took her by the arm and started to lead her to her dead body. He showed it to her and she did something we weren't expecting—she started to freak out and _kept _screaming.

"What is this, Community Theater or are you naturally this good?" Dean asked her harshly/

"This is the last time you become anything…ever." Sam said as he held onto her and made a fist, but she fainted.

I tucked my hair behind my ears. "Okay…she _can't_ be the Shapeshifter."

"Dean, wait, wait, wait, wait." Sam said as we looked from one body to another in wonderment, while Dean got ready to stab her in the heart with the silver. "What's the advantage of this plan?"

"Fainting now won't help it survive." Annie agreed with a nod. "I mean come on…they're both on the ground now so either we kill them both or…or the _dead_ one is really the Shapeshifter. That would make sense, wouldn't it? I mean maybe it faked the death so we _would_ kill Shari and then it could get away later and do all of this all over again."

Dean nodded slowly. "Oh…okay."

Dean went over to what we thought was the dead girl to check her over to see if Annie was right. Then as soon as we looked away when we heard a crash, the 'dead girl' started to try and strangle Dean, and the real Shari got up and starting screaming again. She was really getting on my nerves, but I understood that this was hard for her to comprehend…but did she _have_ to scream so Goddamn much?

"Calm down, Shari." I told her.

"Seriously, stop trying to kill our sense of hearing." Annie yelled at her.

Dean tried to stab her and failed, looking up at us. "Get her out of here, now!"

"We're on it!" I assured him, and then pointed to Sam. "Go with Sam and help him out—_now_, Annie."

"Lanni!" Dean told me angrily as Sam went off with Sam to get the real Shari to safety.

I shook my head. "Sorry, Dean…I am helping you fight."

The girl knocked him off though, and ran at me, thrusting up with her hand and hitting me in the jaw as I went to restrain her. I wanted her out of the room, and I wasn't really happy she'd hit Dean in his beautiful face. I went to wipe the blood off of my bottom lip since I had bit it when her hand made contact with my face, and she headed out the hall, me right behind her and Dean behind me.

I went into a room I could sense her in, Dean opening his mouth to tell that he wanted me to let _him_ handle it and then she showed. I turned around right as I heard her go for Dean, and she kneed him in the groin and I cringed, sensing some more as Dean pulled on her arm and the skin came off. The Feds were here…they were here and Dean was right—we were all _so _screwed.

"Gross." Dean said making a face.

I punched the Shapeshifter after she kicked Dean in the groin again, and then I grabbed her by the throat and Dean lunged at her, pushing the silver into her. Then just when we thought it was all over, one of the swat guys came in, flashing the flashlight in our faces and Dean and I swallowed. Even if we were getting arrested, Dean was going to talk to me about how I should have listened to him and gotten out when I could.

"Damn." I muttered.

"Don't worry, it's me." Sam told us.

Annie nodded and came out from behind him. "Yeah, it's just us."

"Thank you for giving us a heart attack." I told them, smacking them in the arms.

"We have to hurry. I have a uniform for you, Dean." Sam said and handed it out.

I nodded quickly. "Right…I can use a spell to make Annie and me invisible."

After nodding and the boys getting dressed to sneak out, we hurried out of the building and to the parking garage. We hurried to the Impala and once we got in, the boys took the masks off and I undid the spell, all of us taking deep breaths. This was major, and I was worried about what was going to happen next…and what that Fed was going to do next time we ran into him.

"We are so screwed." Dean said aloud.

**Note: This is an almost 34 page chapter…I'm thinking all of my chapters are gonna be longer than I think they will be. Next chapter is kind of a filler, but it's important. =D Feedback is always appreciated!**


	34. Conflicts of Faith

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter is pretty long but not **_**too **_**long.**

**I hope you like it!**

**This one starts out in Sam's POV, moves to Dean's, and then ends up in Lana's.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Sam's POV**

Since Dean had been seen, the next case was up to Lana, Annie and I. Annie was getting really into the whole researching thing, which made me smile quite a lot—she actually thought that it was kind of fun to look up all the different kinds of demons. Plus, she had no idea that in all of this, she was actually becoming part of our little dysfunctional family and Dean and I were starting to _actually _trust her.

"So who wants to go and talk to Gloria?" Annie asked us.

Lana sighed loudly. "Well Dean has to stay here because he was seen by the cops and the Feds know he's around somewhere."

"Trying to get a man out who might have been having a heart attack." Dean protested and shot us looks.

"Yeah, but you're wanted. That's why you have to stay." I explained as I shrugged.

Dean sighed loudly. "Fine—you three just go on ahead and leave me here by myself."

"If that's how you want it!" Annie exclaimed excited to be getting to go and talk to someone people thought was crazy.

I laughed a little at how excited Annie was, and then looked at Lana to see what she had to say since I cared about that. Lana was already one of us and what she said was pretty much what happened—she had the pants in our relationship and she knew it. In fact sometimes her knowing that got us all in trouble, but we couldn't love her any less no matter _what_ happened.

Lana smiled at Annie. "Sammy, you drive, and take Annie with you. I'm going to stay behind and entertain the Delinquent."

"You know I can take care of myself right?" Dean asked her, giving her a look. "I mean I can hang out here by myself and _not _burn the place to the ground, I promise."

"I was talking about getting in some 'us' time." Lana told him, glancing at him.

"Oh!" Dean replied and then wiggled his eyebrows. "Yeah…Annie? Sammy? You can go now. Hurry up and get to researching!"

I rolled my eyes and laughed, Annie laughing too and heading out the front door as I grabbed my jacket. She and I could handle the questioning all on our own, and the look on Lana's face meant business so I knew Dean was in good hands…literally. The two of them had playful down to an art, and I wanted to let them have their fun because I becoming more and more convinced that the two of them were meant for each other…that they were going to last out together forever.

"All right, we're going—be good." I told them, even though I knew it was useless.

Dean gave me a look. "When am I not?"

"Don't make me answer that." I said as I gave him a look too, and then I was out the door and into the Impala with Annie.

She and I went to the mental institution after dressing up as specialists, and then went into Gloria's room. We were supposed to talk to her and get as much details as possible about the murder she had committed and confessed to, and I was smelling something fishy around here. Still, that was the whole point of our job…

"Good morning. You're not the usual guy." Gloria said, looking up at me and smiling softly.

"No. No. I'm just filling in." I told her, shaking my head and then motioning to Annie. "I brought a student of mine with me too, I hope you don't mind."

She smiled at Annie. "Of course not."

"So how are you feeling today, Gloria?" I asked her softly.

"I've never felt better." Gloria answered.

I nodded and noted that on my notepad. "So, no disturbances lately?"

"You mean am I stark raving cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs?" She asked me.

I looked up at her and I took a breath, smiling at her and trying to let her know that I was on her side—whether I was or not. The whole art of this job was being able to convince people that you were who you were pretending to be, and getting them to confess things to you that they wouldn't normally admit out loud. It was an art that seasoned hunters had down, and as vain as it sounded, I was one of those hunters.

"I didn't say that." I told her with a smile.

She smiled back at me. "It's all right. I know what people must think."

"And what do _you_ think?" Annie asked.

"I think what I saw was real." Gloria answered calmly.

I nodded, and then Annie and I took seats across from her and I looked at her softly, all of us going silent for a moment or two. She just seemed so put together and so unlike a murderer—she wasn't fitting the M.O. at all. All I needed was _her_ side of the story, and then I could put together all of the information and potentially get this all figured out enough to get this done so we could move on quickly and Dean wouldn't have to be in the same place for too long.

"I'd like to know what you saw." Sam told her softly.

Gloria looked down and then up at me. "It was all over the news. I stabbed a man in the heart."

"Why would you do that?" I asked her.

"Because it was God's will." She answered firmly.

There was something about the _way_ that she said it that made me actually believe that she believed that. I wasn't sure if I thought it was _true_ or not, but my own conclusion would come with more information and for that, I needed to ask her more questions.

"Did God talk to you?" I asked her calmly.

Gloria smiled at me. "I get the sense God's a little busy for house calls. No, he—he sent someone."

"Someone?" Annie asked her, and she wasn't being as calm and nice about it as I was.

"An angel. It came to me in this…beautiful white light, and it filled me with this—feeling. It's—it's hard to describe." Gloria explained to us.

I nodded at her. "And this angel…?"

"Spoke God's word." Gloria finished for me.

"And this word was…to kill someone?" I asked her slowly, making sure that I was hearing her correctly about all of this.

"I know it sounds strange, but what I did was very important. I helped him smite an evil man. I was chosen…for redemption." She told me.

I nodded slowly. "The man you stabbed…did the angel give you his name?"

"No. He just told me to wait for the sign, and the very next day I saw it—right beside the man's doorway, and I knew." She told us.

"Why him?" I inquired, trying to piece it all together.

"I just know what the angel told me—that this man was guilty to his deepest foundations—and that was good enough for me." She told us, a smile still on her face.

I nodded at her and then glanced at Annie, who kind of looked bewildered about the whole thing. I wasn't sure where Annie stood on faith, but I knew that it was a big thing for Lana, so this case was going to be interesting to say the least. Gloria just didn't _sound_ or _look_ crazy, but she had thought an angel talked to her and had killed a man because she was told to…I needed to get back and talk to Dean and Lana.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

Practically the second that Annie and Sam had left out of the motel room, Lana had pulled her shirt off and sat on my lap. I knew she wasn't into quickies, but at the same time, she wanted us to be able to get some fun in and I was more than happy to oblige her. I think that both of us were aware this time around that something was different…that there was so much more meaning behind the dance this time…and I didn't know what to do about it.

I ran my fingers through Lana's hair and looked at her as I propped my head up on my hand and thought about things. She was gazing at me and chewing on her fingernail, pushing her bangs out of her face and still staying fixed on me with her eyes. There were so many thoughts and emotions running through me and I didn't know what to do about them, but I knew that Lana was the _only_ one who had _ever_ done this to me…_ever_ made me _feel_ this way.

"How much more time do you think we have?" Lana asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head. "No idea."

"You are such a goof." Lana told me laughing, and reached for my left hand, bringing it up to her face and looking at my watch. "I would say we have time to go _one_ more time."

"Oh really?" I asked her, and then couldn't help but pout at her when she sat up and started rummaging through her duffle.

She just nodded at me and then I heard some change jingling and I raised my eyebrows until she turned to me, the covers covering her naked flesh for now, and she showed me some quarters. My eyes left her insatiable grin and rested on the vibrating machine attached to the bed and I smiled. She just nodded and laughed a little when I pressed my lips to hers and shook my head a little.

"You're perfect." I told her, kissing her jaw line and biting her neck softly as my mouth continued to move along her soft skin.

She laughed and her throat rumbled against my mouth as her fingers slipped into my hair right after a soft 'clink' could be heard as she put a quarter in. Lana was so different from how she had been when we'd first met, and yet she was exactly the same. We'd all grown since our first encounter, and at the same time, it was almost as if we were standing still…at least that she was. Every time I looked at her, I just saw, 'Lana'…what would I ever do without her and why did she make me think this way?

_Sam and I had been researching the deaths since we had gotten into Kansas, and though I didn't really like being back here, there wasn't much that I could do about it. It was a hunt, Sam had found it, and we were going to see it through because we had been near the area. Besides, at a wake there was food, and food was __**definitely**__ worth going __**anywhere**__ for._

_I turned to Sam to say something when I felt a body collide into mine and I turned to see a brunette woman standing there in a killer black dress. She was very attractive—even though she looked like she had been crying…she must be family of the deceased. The dress was short, but not short enough to make her easy, and her eyes kind of sparkled…_

"_Sorry." She told us, reaching out and ringing the doorbell. "I should really learn to watch where I'm going."_

_I waved it off and smiled at her. "You look like you're in a hurry."_

_She nodded and blushed a little. "I'm late to my own best friend's wake. What side of the family are you on?"_

"_Oh…we're just friends from school." Sam cut in as I tried hard not to raise my eyebrows._

_If she was such good friends of the deceased, then why wouldn't she __**know **__what side of the family Sam and I were on? I mean yeah we __**weren't **__related to the deceased in anyway, but it was like a hole in her story…something was fishy here._

"_I don't think I remember Chelsea mentioning you—I don't remember seeing you either." She told us, looking us both over._

_Sam nodded at her slowly. "Right…because you went to the same school too."_

_She smirked and I swallowed. "Yeah, and I don't remember any good-looking men there. It was an all girls' school, guys. Do your research if you want to snoop around."_

_I reached over and smacked Sam in the arm for coming up with the school story in the first place, and he gave me a look as another girl opened the door. This one was blonde and she pulled the brunette to her and they shared a fond embrace as Sam and I composed ourselves. We were supposed to be hospitable, and our first impression had been shabby at best—we needed to step it up so we could do this and get out of here._

"_Who are you guys?" The blonde asked us as she pulled out of the hug._

_The brunette waved the question off. "Friends from school."_

_The blonde nodded and laughed a little, the brunette nodding and smiling which made Sam and I feel rather uncomfortable. There was a little secret between them and I had a feeling that they were onto us. Why did they have to be so smart? So aware? They were also __**obviously **__friends of the deceased…so my original assumption was definitely wrong._

"_Well how about you take your friends into the study and talk to them there, will you? I need to check on the refreshments table and then I need you to work on your duties." The blonde told the brunette, squeezing her hand and then taking off._

_The brunette turned to us. "Follow me."_

_She shook her head and laughed a little to herself, Sam and I exchanging looks before we followed her into the empty study. I watched as she went over to the door and shut it, locking it, which made me suddenly alert. What if she was the killer? Maybe she was locking us in here to kill us and move on…why the hot ones?_

_She smiled at us. "I'm Lana…all right cuties, what are your names so I can help you with your cover?"_

"_I'm Dean." I told her with a smirk. "And this is my younger brother, Sam."_

"_Well nice to meet you." She told us, smiling a little more. "Just to let you know, I did not go to the all girls' school, and I will pretend I know you, okay? Now why are you really here?" She watched us as Sam and I exchanged looks and then she just nodded before Sam and I could figure out what to say to her. "Something supernatural, eh? I agree. Jen and I have been researching. But what, I still haven't figured that out. God what I would do for a scotch!"_

"_Scotch sounds good." I told her with an impressed smirk. "I take it we've encroached on another hunter's territory then?"_

_Lana smiled and I realized that there was something about that smile right then and there—she was a good hunter. She could probably use that smile for just about anything and get whatever she wanted. If she practiced enough, she could probably even be better than Sam and I at all of this._

"_We're not going to find any scotch here, and no…not encroach." She said, answering the questions one after the other like they were nothing. "Jen and I, as much as we want to do this for revenge, could actually use another pair of eyes and ears. It's our fault Chelsea got ganked, and as weird as it sounds…I think we're dealing with vampires." Lana explained, lowering her voice and taking a couple of steps towards us. "She was drained of all of her blood, and her neck was snapped—I'm thinking a demon of some kind—or some kind of dark ritual, but my research hasn't really reached any conclusion yet."_

_I raised an eyebrow. "No wonder you need our help: someone needs to explain to you that vampires—"_

"—_have to be beheaded? I'm aware of that, thank you. What you're not aware of is that some of the really stupid ones that people write about in books actually exist. Perhaps not by name, but definitely by definition." Lana replied, cutting me off. "Who needs whose help now?"_

_I cleared my throat to give her the impression that she had won, but really I was trying to hide my amusement, and my attraction. She was sure of herself, she was beautiful, and she obviously knew what she was doing. Sam laughed at the two of us went at it verbally, and I just nodded a little and looked her in the eye—she had to pass another test._

"_What makes you think you can trust us with this?" I asked her._

_Lana made eye contact with me and smiled—damn that smile. "You were trying to be undercover, and you're not dressed for the occasion. Not to mention that you needed an alias, so you were obviously looking for something, and this being the fourth death…in any ritual, there would most likely be one more—pentagrams. We both need each other's help and I figure why not team up for the time being, right?"_

_We nodded and then Sam spoke up. "Could you show us your research?"_

"_After the wake, sure, Sam." Lana nodded at him. "As for right now, I need to run on off to do my best friend duties, but since Jen is coming over later to help me some more, I suppose our new eyes and ears should join."_

"_All right…after the wake then." Sam told her with a smile and for a second I was jealous—she seemed to like his smile a little __**too **__much._

I had definitely not been lying to Annie when I had said that she had been wearing a killer little black number—she had been. Everything about her was beautiful, and commanding, and she was always so sure of herself. At the same time, she wasn't the kind of hunter that Sam and I were…she had more of a conscience than _either_ of us could even _dream_ of having.

She'd pushed herself all the way in and I'd let my walls come down one by one and now I couldn't imagine not having her here. I was going to do something wrong, wasn't I? What if I pushed her away? I had a habit of screwing things up with the people I cared about and I was new to this. I wasn't used to having a woman this close to me…I wasn't used to feeling like I had to keep a woman safe…that I had to keep a woman with me.

"Oh…wow…" I managed to get out as the fact that the bed was vibrating suddenly caught my attention.

She moaned a little and nodded. "It's my turn, I think…"

She just trailed off, and I let her turn us over so that she was on top…I never said 'no' to letting Lana take control…

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"I think we're sick perverts." I said with a laugh as the magic fingers worked their magic on our backs, both of us lying there with our eyes closed and grins on our faces, both of us _finally _dressed. "Sick, pleased, perverts."

Dean chuckled and nodded. "If we had time to go again, I'd offer."

"If Sam and Annie were here, they'd be disturbed." I laughed, focusing on the vibrations.

"Hey." Sam said, walking into the motel room and looking at us and then sighing as Annie laughed at the sight. "You have got to be kidding me."

Sam came over and hit Dean's foot as I closed my eyes, Dean smiling and opening his mouth a little. We were enjoying the vibrating bed _far _too much, but we couldn't help it—it was like a full body massage. Add in that 'yes' we were perverts, and that's just the way that it was.

"Hey man. You have got to try this. I mean, there really is magic in the magic fingers." Dean said with a smirk.

"Dean, you're enjoying that way too much." Sam explained as he made a face. "Actually, Lan, you are too and it's kind of making me uncomfortable."

Annie laughed some more. "That makes two of us, though I'm kind of entertained."

"What am I supposed to do, Sam? I mean you guys have me under lockdown. I'm bored out of my skull and Lanni and I couldn't go another round because you two were coming back soon and we knew it." Dean protested, both of us still lying there as the bed vibrated underneath us.

"Hey! You were the bank robber on the 11 o'clock news, not me. We can't risk you just walking into a government facility." Sam explained, going over to do more research, Annie following him as the machine stopped and stopped the bed with it.

Dean groaned. "Aw, damn-it! That was our last quarter. Hey! You got any quarters?"

"No." Sam replied from the bathroom as he was washing his hands.

Dean and I sighed and I sat up, planting my hand on the bed and glancing at Dean as he asked Sam and Annie and the 'crazy hooker' and then Annie motioned to me. I kissed Dean swiftly and then got off of the bed, and headed to the door. Annie followed me and we started walking along outside so that Sam and Dean could have some time together, and so that Annie and I could.

"It could have been an angel." Annie said with a nod.

I smiled and put my hands in my pockets. "Maybe…I believe in angels, I do, but I just don't think one would really tell someone to kill someone. Isn't there a commandment against murder?"

"Have you ever heard of Avenging Angels, Lanni?" Annie asked me.

"You're right, that's a good point." I told her with a nod. "Michael, Raphael…you think this could be an Avenging Angel?"

Annie shrugged slowly. "I've learned that anything is possible."

"It really is." I told her with a nod.

I'd learned in my time with Sam and Dean—and even in my time before them—that anything was possible. Demons, ghosts, witches, werewolves, angels even…all of it could happen and it was a just a matter of figuring things out. Then again, Annie was giving me this look and I had a feeling something else was coming.

"So how do you do it?" Annie asked me.

I looked at her. "How do I do what?"

"How do you live two lives at once? I mean Jen and Kevin have kids, and you want kids. You are in love with a hunter, Lanni. Hell, you _are _a hunter, Lanni. How do you find time for everything? Including your boyfriend's sick and twisted habits." Annie added with a smile.

I laughed a little. "I just—I guess I don't look at it as living two lives at once, Annie. I mean yeah I got all attracted to Dean and then I fell in love with him, and now we're just attached to each other—even _with_ the cheating."

"Wait a minute—did that son of a bitch _cheat_ on you?" Annie asked angrily.

"Technically we both cheated on each other—he just cheated via sleeping with a waitress while all I did was kiss my ex-boyfriend and flirt with him in Jen's bedroom." I explained to her.

Annie gave me a look. "Wait, wait…_you_ cheated too?"

"You sound in shock." I told her with a smile on my face.

"I just—I never would have thought you had a cheating bone in you. Dean—doesn't surprise me that he cheated." Annie explained with a shrug. "So who's this ex-boyfriend you flirted with while dating Dean?"

There it was—Annie was now officially asking about my past with Sam and I wasn't sure how I was going to explain that. I mean it wasn't that I was ashamed of it, because I wasn't, but how did I tell my sister that I dated my boyfriend's younger brother _before_ I dated my boyfriend? How did I tell her that one of the reasons I was so close to both Dean _and_ Sam, was because I'd been with both of them emotionally _and_ physically?

"You're thinking pretty hard about this." Annie told me and she stopped in her tracks. "What's going on, Lan? I mean you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but it looks like you're conflicted…"

I took a deep breath. "Sam and I were together before Dean and I were together. Well technically I was with Dean first physically, but I was drunk, and then he was all thanking me for being there for him during this one hunt on a plane, but we weren't actually together. Then I dated Sam for a while, and he and I were close, but I was falling for Dean and Sam and I realized that my place was with Dean…which is weird because I mean with Dean I'm really into the physical part of the relationship…its never been that way for me before."

"So…you've only had sex with Sam and Dean?" Annie asked me, pondering that. "Have you had boyfriends before that?"

"Oh, of course I have. I've had two actually…boys weren't really my focus ever because I was too focused on demons and finding out about our parents." I explained to her.

Annie nodded and then a look crossed her face and I knew what it was—she wanted to catch up with me. There were things about her and about her past that she wanted me to know, and I really wanted to know what she had to say too. She was my sister and I had missed out on so much of her life…and it wasn't fair.

"So what about you, Annie? Any boyfriends I should know about?" I asked her.

Annie smiled a little. "Actually, before I moved out I ended a relationship with this guy I liked all through High School. His name's Penn. We were High School sweethearts and then I—he didn't really take kindly to the demon and ghost things I had been through. Didn't like my dreams. Couldn't handle this stuff—so I cut him loose. I had to get out and find you. I had to—"

"—try and not love him anymore?" I asked slowly.

"Yeah." Annie nodded slowly. "It was hard…he was my guy, you know? I haven't been into men since then really…just into this…into finding you and Mom…maybe even Dad."

I nodded and kicked myself mentally for what I said next. "Well maybe you'll have a 'Cassie' thing—he'll realize how much you mean to him and he'll want you back…you never know."

"What do you mean?" Annie asked me. "'Cassie' thing?"

I ran my fingers through my hair and took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to put this all into words. I wasn't sure that I _wanted_ to tell her eve, but I had brought it up and it fit in this situation. Sadly…it just fit here…God help me.

"The first time I found out that Dean could love—when I realized that I had to be with him—it was because of his interaction with his ex…Cassie Robinson." I explained.

Annie raised her eyebrows at me. "Wait…what?"

"Dean told Cassie about how he was a hunter and she didn't believe him and therefore dumped him. Then she had a problem, she called him in to help her with it, and I found out he had been in love with her…and her with him…she just couldn't support his job." I told her slowly with a shrug. "The whole situation made me realize that Dean could actually love…and that I actually _wanted_ his love…so maybe he'll call you Annie—maybe he'll apologize—maybe…I don't know, Annie."

Annie shrugged and smiled. "Maybe…I just…I don't think I have the strength to do both."

I nodded and draped my arm around her as she rested hers around my waist and I bit my lip. After everything that we did adding families and settling down wasn't really in the cards, but I wanted it. Someday I wanted to leave all of this behind but would that mean leaving Dean? Dean didn't want the future I wanted…did he? Maybe we should talk about this…

"Your cell phone is ringing." Annie told me.

I nodded and answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey, Lan. Where are you and Annie? Dean and I want to go to Carl's place." Sam explained to me.

"Annie, how far are we from the house of the man Gloria murdered?" I asked her.

She smiled and pointed. "It's right up the street."

"Sammy, we'll see you there." I told him, hanging up. "Dean's coming too."

"Seriously?" Annie asked me. "Even though he's wanted."

I nodded at her. "Even though he's wanted. Sam probably didn't want to leave him by himself. Besides, Dean would have tried to run off anyway."

I smiled a little at that thought because it was so like Dean—he was so restless and so in need of something to do. Wanted or not, he needed to be in the action, and I couldn't blame him—I was pretty restless too.

"Well it's not like he has anymore quarters." Annie laughed loudly. "The two of you used all of your quarters like sick perverts."

I smiled and laughed too. "Yeah, he and I _are_ sick perverts…I really can't argue with that at all."

Annie smiled at me and the two of us continued towards Carl's house, and we went up on the porch. She was just as into this hunt as I was, even though I had very little background since I hadn't gone with them to talk to Gloria. I was just pretty much making sure that Dean stayed out of trouble, and at the same time I was there when they needed me…_if_ they needed me.

"Is this the sign?" Annie asked skeptically.

I nodded at the angel Christmas decoration. "I suppose it is."

"Alrighty then." Annie said slowly. "We have to pick the lock?"

"Maybe…you think what we're looking for is inside?" I asked her.

"Give me a moment." Annie told me, and closed her eyes. "Let's try around the house."

I nodded and followed her, feeling the same feelings she was and smiling a little—we were _definitely_ related. We went through the squeaky gate and saw a cellar door and nodded slowly. Annie went straight for it and I swallowed, pushing down the feelings and staying close to Annie.

"Deepest foundations." Annie recalled with a nod. "Gloria said to his deepest foundations…"

Annie and I opened the doors and then we closed them behind us, turning on our flashlights and standing there a moment. We were looking for something here and I was pretty certain it had to do with death…there were nothing but bad vibes here. Annie turned to me and she took a deep breath and I knew something was coming.

"You're not in tune with your powers so much, are you?" Annie asked me.

I shook my head slowly. "No…no, I tried to stay away from all the powers and everything…what's in here? There's bad vibes…there's death…"

"There's a body." Annie said, leaning down and picking up a fingernail and showing it to me. Where there is a fingernail…there's probably a body."

I opened my mouth to say something, but suddenly the cellar doors opened and Annie and I turned to them and screamed. It wasn't the _best_ way to go about greeting whoever it was, but it was just Sam and Dean. So Annie and I started to catch our breaths when Dean and Sam jumped at us.

"Holy shit!" Dean exclaimed, clutching his chest. "What the Hell are you two doing in there?"

Annie looked at him. "Gloria said Carl was guilty to his deepest foundations."

"So we figured the cellar was the best bet." I finished for her.

"Fine, steal our job." Dean said as he made a face.

"Oh shut your mouth, Mr. Jealous-Pants." Annie told him. "You're getting as bad as PMS Man here."

"What?" Sam asked as Annie and I laughed.

I shook my head. "Look, just get in here and help us dig. Annie found a fingernail and it feels like death in here."

They nodded at us and then Dean handed Sam a shovel and I smiled a little. Sam was going to dig and he looked _great_ doing it—which I shouldn't have been thinking about, but I was. So he dug a bit and uncovered a skeleton, which made me cringe a little but it was what we thought we'd find, and that was what mattered.

"So much for the innocent church going librarian." Sam said aloud.

Dean nodded at that. "Well whatever it was that talked to Gloria knew what it was talking about, I'll give you that."

"You don't believe in angels?" Annie asked, catching his tone.

Dean shook his head. "Not at all."

"Of course you don't." I told him and I felt bad that I was angry, but I was…how could he _not_ believe in angels?

"Lanni…" Dean began, but I was already up the cellar steps, Annie right behind me.

Annie took a breath. "Hard when you believe so much and the man you want doesn't believe what you do."

"Yeah…it really is." I replied, walking towards the motel without stopping.

xxxx

That next morning we sat in the motel room for a bit, and then Annie's stomach growled and I smiled a little. I was really hungry too, but we were all a little wary of the talking—I was kind of jumpy and I was annoyed and I didn't know why. It was probably because I kept thinking about the future, and Dean wasn't acting like he was.

"Sammy, you think we could go and get some food?" Annie asked him.

Sam nodded and smiled. "Absolutely…what do you two want?"

"Anything is fine, Sam, you know what I like." Dean told him.

"I could really go for a chicken sandwich, maybe a Caesar salad?" I said as I looked up at Sam and smile. "I'm having cravings."

Dean chuckled. "Join the club."

Annie took a deep breath and then she went to go grab her jacket, Sam following suit and nodding. They were trying to give Dean and me space to talk and I was happy with them for it, but at the same time, it wasn't needed. Yes, we were all hungry, but there was an ulterior motive and once they left the room, I looked at Dean and he looked at me, both of us making eye contact.

"What, Lanni?" Dean asked me.

I sighed and then took a breath. "Why don't you believe in angels?"

"Because I've never seen them, Lanni. I still love you even though you have faith and you and Sammy seem to believe in all this angel crap." Dean said and he shrugged. "I don't view _you_ any differently. I understand that we grew up differently, and we have a different way of viewing things—that's why we fit so well."

"At the same time, I guess I wonder how you can't believe in the good things when we see so many bad things everyday." I said, getting up from the chair in the kitchen area and going and sitting on his bed with him.

Dean sat up. "I know. I just—I have to see things to believe them."

I let the words sink in and I realized that I couldn't change this—I had to accept this. Dean and I thought about things differently and that was just the way that it was and I couldn't change it—and I didn't _want_ to change it. If Dean decided to change his beliefs then so be it, but his beliefs were what made him…_him_.

I nodded slowly and crawled on top of him. "I guess I can understand that."

"I'm glad." Dean smiled and stroked my hair. "You have any quarters?"

I laughed loudly. "No…Annie and I never got anymore and it's a damn shame too…we're going to have to figure out some other way to pass the time."

Dean pondered that. "You bring up a very good point. No quarters? That means no magic fingers…which means we're gonna have to improvise. How long do you think Sam and Annie will be gone?"

"Not long enough for us to do anything." I told him, getting off of him.

I wanted to stay around and be with him and he knew that, but Sam and Annie were grabbing food and coming back and I wasn't really into quickies. Besides, I was feeling strange because I knew Dean so well, and yet I didn't know him at all. It had been almost two years since we'd known each other, and as in love with him as I was, there was still mystery about him…and I kind of loved it…and kind of wondered about it.

"Dean?" I asked with my back to him.

Dean didn't skip a beat. "Yeah?"

"Do you ever think about what you'll do after the demon is dead?" I asked, turning to look at him.

"I thought about it once." Dean admitted as he sat up.

"What did you see?" I asked him slowly.

Dean smiled a little. "When Jen had the twins and I found out about you and Sam in the hospital, I started thinking: you really _are _my family, Lanni—I meant that. You're always here for me, no matter what…you love me. I don't know why, I don't know how, but you do, and so I sat there and I thought that when this was all over, I was going to have you…no matter what."

I had to let all of those words sink in too because he had just been _very _open with me and I didn't know what to say. I mean he, Dean Winchester, had thought about the _future_…and he had seen _me _in it…how did I react to that? He was thinking about the same things that I was thinking about…and yet he wasn't.

"Wow." I managed to get out.

"All I got for that was a 'wow'?" Dean asked playfully.

I smiled at him. "I just—I don't know what to say…I love you."

"I know you do, and I love you too." Dean admitted.

"I—I need to take a shower." I said slowly. "I need to think about some things."

Dean gave me a strange look. "Sure."

I went into the bathroom, and I shut the door behind me, taking off my clothes and getting into the shower, letting the warm water run down my body as I stood there—he saw me in his future…he wanted to be with me…and as much as I had always wanted to hear that, it caught me off guard. Why couldn't I have thought of something else to say to him? Why had I just brushed off that moment like that when that was undoubtedly hard for him and I had wanted to hear it?

When I got out of the shower, I wrapped the towel around me and went into the main room, putting clothes on and brushing then blow-drying and brushing my hair, listening to the police radio that Dean had turned on, and smirking as he looked at the bed's vibrator with longing until Sam and Annie came in with food. He and I really _were_ sick and twisted…and not in a good way…

"Did you bring quarters?" Dean asked hopefully.

Sam looked at the bed. "Dude," He said, tossing the food at Dean, "I'm not enabling your sick habit. You're like one of those lab rats that pushes the pleasure button instead of the food button until it dies."

"What are you talking about? I eat." Dean protested as Annie and I laughed.

"Lanni? I got something for you outside." Annie said and I nodded and left the bathroom, going out of the room with her.

I had a feeling Annie wanted to spend more alone time with me, so we headed for a walk with our food and I smiled at her. There was a hunt here, but I really liked that Annie wanted to be as close to me as I wanted to be to her. She was my sister…she was my sister and I loved her, and I didn't want her to run off and get hurt.

"The angel struck again." I told her.

Annie looked at me. "Really?"

"This guy named Zack Smith killed a man and then turned himself in, just like Gloria did. He was a local drunk too, which is interesting since Gloria was a prostitute." I explained, taking my chicken sandwich from her.

"It's all about redemption I guess." Annie said with a shrug. "I know Gloria said that already, but really—this angel knows what it's talking about. How'd you know something happened?"

I shrugged at her. "Dean was listening to the police radio since I decided to take a shower."

"Ah." Annie nodded slowly. "Well let's eat before we go do anything else."

"Hopefully we'll all rest a bit before we go snooping around another house." I told her.

Annie laughed at that. "Hopefully—you and Dean haven't really had a break, have you?"

I gasped at that. "Hey! We haven't had sex all day! Besides, Dean got the victim's address though, so he wants to come and it gives us something to do that we're _supposed_ to be doing…he just has to convince Sammy now."

"The man doesn't quit." Annie laughed merrily.

"Not at all." I agreed with a nod.

We ate and talked for a bit as we walked, ending up at a park and smiling at the kids playing. When some vacated the swings we took them over, and then after a little more time had passed and we were done eating, we went back to the motel. Dean looked up when we walked in and he beamed at us—obviously he got through to Sam.

"I get to go with you guys." Dean said, the grin never leaving his face.

I smiled too. "Well then let's go."

The four of us piled into the Impala and then we had to jump over a fence and use a pocket knife to unlock a window, climb into the house using the window, and then shut it. We looked around and Sam sat at the computer, hacking into it like the super computer hacker he was. It was always nice to know we could get through this no matter what, and it was fun to see the look on Annie's face when she learned more about us.

"Wow. You guys have some interesting talents." Annie said with a nod.

I laughed and smiled. "Yeah, they certainly do."

"You find anything?" Sam asked as Dean, Annie and I looked around the house and came back to him.

"Well Frank liked his catalog shopping, that's about all we got." Dean told him. "You?"

Sam shook his head. "Not much here."

"There's not much anywhere." I replied dismally.

"Except he's got this one unlocked file on his computer that…hold on. Not anymore." Sam said having happily hacked in and then his whole demeanor changed. "God."

"What?" Dean asked him.

The look on Sam's face was kind of worrying me and I watched as Annie hurried over to look over his shoulder. I wanted to know, but the look on Sam's face was a look I had seen before, and I knew that I didn't want to know. So I just waited with Dean to let Sam tell us what was going on instead of me asking him.

"He's got e-mails—dozens of them to this lady named Jennifer." Sam explained.

"Oh, I don't want to hear this." Dean and I said together.

Annie nodded at that. "Looks like they met in a chat room."

"These e-mails are pretty personal, guys. Says here they were going to meet—today in fact." Sam told us.

"Huh. I guess if you're going to stab someone—good timing. I don't know, Man, this is weird." Dean said walking to the other side of the desk Sam was sitting at. "I mean sure, some spirits are out for vengeance, but this one's almost like a do-gooder, like a—an um—"

"Avenging angel?" Annie and Sam asked together and Dean gave them a look and walked over to a bulletin board.

Sam sighed at Dean. "Well how else do you explain it, Dean? Three guys, not connected to each other, all stabbed through the heart. At least two of them were world-class pervs and I bet if you looked deep enough at the other guy—"

"—hey." Dean said cutting him off.

"What?" Sam asked, slightly annoyed he was interrupted.

"You said Carl was a church-goer right?" Dean asked him.

I glanced between Sam and Dean because Sam was annoyed and Dean was just as annoyed, just hiding it better. Dean didn't want to believe in angels, and Sam couldn't understand why Dean _couldn't_. All I knew right then, was that the two of them were ready to fight it out, and I didn't want to be in the middle of it.

"Yeah." Sam said, still annoyed.

Dean nodded at him. "What was the name of his church?"

"Uh—Our Lady of the Angels?" Sam said, remembering.

"Of course that would be the name. Looks like Frank went to the same church." Dean explained to him.

Annie nodded authoritatively. "Well, let's go check out this church, then."

"We'll get more answers there." I said nodding in agreement.

So the four of us headed over to the church, all of us looking for answers so we could be done with this and stop having to talk about faith. While Sam and Dean talked to the reverend, Annie and I talked things out. This was pretty big, and Annie and I knew what _we_ thought it was…but it wasn't an easy thing to prove.

"Just to cover all of our bases, what if it isn't an angel?" I asked Annie.

Annie nodded slowly. "That's a good point…then maybe it's a spirit like Dean thinks."

"On the one hand, I want it to be an angel but on the other hand, I want it to be a spirit. I guess—it just…" I tried and then I took a deep breath and just trailed off as I shrugged.

"'Thou shalt not kill'?" Annie asked me.

I nodded at her and found my voice. "Exactly—if it were really an angel, it wouldn't ask them to kill someone else. The people who sin will be judged themselves at the gates…then again its avenging angels right? I mean they could have orders but wouldn't they do the deed themselves?"

"I get what you mean." Annie told me, nodding at me and then just nodding.

"You don't think that maybe there is something in the church that might be the cause, do you?" I asked her.

Annie shrugged at me. "We should cover all of our bases."

"Then let's look around outside." I told her softly.

Annie nodded in agreement, and we looked around out back and kept pretty silent because we didn't know what to say anymore. It was pretty much the two of us trying to make sense of everything and figure out what was going on, but talking about everything was getting tiring. When we found nothing, we went out front and met up with Sam and Dean talking to the pastor—we saw a memorial, and we looked at the boys.

"Dead priest—murdered in fact." Dean told us to catch us up.

"Were his last rites administered?" I asked them.

Sam shook his head. "No."

"Maybe he's who we're looking for then." Annie said a she shoved her hands in her pockets.

I nodded slowly. "Maybe…"

Annie and Dean went inside first to go and see Father Gregory's grave, and I looked at Sam, taking his hand. He was still my rock and I knew that he felt about this the way that I did and I knew I could count on him. It wasn't that I couldn't count on Dean because I could—it was just that I couldn't talk to Dean about faith because it wasn't something that he had…it wasn't something he understood.

"Sammy, you look a bit shaken." I told him.

"Dean um…I told him I pray everyday and I dunno how he's taking it." Sam explained with a soft nod.

I nodded at him. "That's okay, Sammy. He's just—this faith thing is new to him."

"I know. How are _you_ taking that?" Sam asked me, making me look at him. "I mean I know how much faith _you_ have, Lan."

I shrugged and put on a brave smile. "As well as I can."

"You don't think that maybe this makes everything with him harder?" Sam asked me.

He hadn't meant it in any way in particular, he was just trying to make sure that I was all right and he knew which questions to ask—which things to make me think about. I glanced at the ground and then looked back up at Sam and I knew exactly what the next words out of my mouth were going to be.

I shook my head. "I don't think that at all—I think that he has a good reason for it all."

Sam nodded slowly. "Let's go, Lan."

We followed the other two into the church, Sam and I dropping our hands and smiling at each other. Then when we had joined them, Sam and Dean hung back while Annie and I hurried down to where the priests were buried and we nodded at each other.

"Wormwood." Annie said aloud.

I swallowed. "It's associated with spirits that aren't at rest."

"Then we know what we're dealing with, but Sam will need more convincing I think. Where is Sam?" Dean asked as he joined us.

"Still out there I think." I replied, and he nodded and went to look for him.

Annie turned to me. "While Dean goes and talks to Sam, you think maybe we should go ahead and get the supplies for a séance?"

"Yeah…that's probably best." I told her with a nod.

Annie and I left the church while Sam and Dean talked about how even though Sam had seen an angel, Dean didn't think that was what it was. That's why he had been behind—he had been visited by an angel and Dean was still convinced it was a spirit. Annie and I needed a break from them and we were on our way to the store when Jen called, and she sounded really freaked out.

"Jen, honey, what's wrong?" I asked her.

Jen took a deep breath. "Kevin…he's been kidnapped…_again_. I need you—now."

"Annie, Kevin has been kidnapped." I explained to her.

"The boys can finish things. We need to get to Jen." Annie told me. "I'm going with you."

"Jen, we're on our way." I told her, as I smiled at Annie, and then I hung up with Jen and I called Dean and told him he and Sam had to finish the case and meet us in Kansas.

**Note: Okay so there is another chapter that will be up in a couple of hours so you guys can see what else I have in store for you. I hope you guys are still enjoying this story! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	35. Lana Wants to be What

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**So this chapter is kind of a filler but it's REALLY important and leads up to next chapter's cliffhanger and there are some new characters.**

**Only two of them actually come back later.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Annie and I were worried the entire time while we were on the plane—if Kevin was kidnapped then that meant that Jen was all alone with the girls at the moment. On top of that, if he was kidnapped, then who was behind it? Who would do that? Was Jen going to be all right until we got there?

"I think Chelsea did it." Annie said as I asked myself questions in my head.

I turned to her. "Really?"

"Yes," Annie nodded, "and this time we're going to take her out."

"I think that's a good idea." I told her. "It's just that…we don't know _how_ to kill her and you know it, Annie…we've talked about this."

She nodded and the two of us talked for a little while before the plane landed and we had to get a taxi. Even in the taxi we were both really fidgety, and when we finally got to Jen's, we practically ran up to the door and ran inside. We were worried and we needed to make sure that Jen was all right—that everyone was all right.

"Jen?" I called out.

_I'm putting the girls to bed…quiet, Lan._ She said in my mind.

_Sorry_. I replied in hers and then I turned to Annie as I blushed just a little bit. "She's putting the girls down."

_Make yourselves at home_. Jen told me.

"She wants us to make ourselves at home." I said, and Annie nodded.

"Yeah she told me that too." Annie smiled at me.

Annie and I sat on the couch and as she turned on the television low, I shoved my hand into my pocket and I pulled out my cell. I looked at my phone, hoping the boys would have called by now, but no one had…they must be hunting. I wanted to know what was going on and whether it was a spirit or an angel…I really wanted to know.

"Worried?" Annie asked me.

I shrugged. "Maybe a little."

"I have a lead—well—it's pretty much exactly the same thing that happened last time." Jen said as she came into the living room.

"What do you mean?" Annie asked her.

Jen sighed loudly. "Well, last time we dealt with Chelsea, as in last time she kidnapped someone, she left a note—I got a note about an hour ago telling us where to meet her."

"Us? You're not going anywhere." I told her.

"Lan, don't start with me. My husband is the one who was kidnapped." Jen told me angrily.

I took a deep breath and channeled my 'inner Sam'. "But you have the girls to worry about. You can't just go gallivanting off and putting yourself in danger."

"You mean the way _you_ did?" Jen asked me, putting her hands on her hips.

I frowned at her. "And look at what happened."

It hurt me that she would bring that up—I _knew_ that hunting is what made me lose my baby…that _Chelsea_ was the reason why I could no longer have children…still this wasn't right. Jen was a _mother_ now, and I didn't want her to get into any trouble and she knew that…and yet she was _still_ insisting on this. Annie and I could do this on our own—why was she doing this? I couldn't let Jen die…I couldn't let Kaydence and Minah lose their mother…I just couldn't.

"But you're fine, Lan. I know that you lost Casey, and I know that hurt you, and I'm sorry, but you came out of it fine, and so will I." Jen told me firmly. "You forget I'm stronger than you—my powers are more honed."

I bit my lip. "We wait until the boys come so someone can look after the girls."

"I called a sitter already." Jen informed me.

"Cancel on them." Annie said as I nodded.

Jen looked at her. "Why?"

"Because if Chelsea is willing to kidnap Kevin, she's willing to send some of her minions to kidnap the girls—so we need the boys to be here to watch after them." I explained to her.

If Jen wasn't going to listen to reason, then we were going to go ahead and do this in the most practical way possible. I trusted Sam and Dean with my life, and I knew that no matter what happened, they would protect Jen's daughters like they were part of the family. Kevin needed to be all right…because if he wasn't, hunting for me ended here…Jen was going to need me without him and I wasn't about to abandon her—never.

Jen nodded slowly. "Right—I'll be right back then."

"Jen…we can't do this tonight." Annie told her. "Not if you have to go too."

Jen turned to her. "Why not?"

Annie took a deep breath. "Because the boys are driving here."

"It's going to take them a couple days." I added slowly. "Are you sure you don't want Annie and I to just take care of this?"

Jen sighed loudly. "Fine…we have to come up with a strategy anyway…you two hungry?"

I took a deep breath as Annie nodded and I kind of decided to just give in because what could I do? Jen was determined to save her husband, who was the father of her children and I got that as much as I was against it. I understood her from both sides and I was actually hungry so I just decided that we were going to go with mine and Annie's plan and if food came with that, then so be it.

"Actually, yes." I told her.

Annie raised her eyebrows at me. "You've sure eaten a lot today."

"I guess I'm just _really_ hungry." I shrugged.

"You've been really hungry for the past few days." Annie laughed.

I just rolled my eyes at her because I didn't feel like my eating habits were any different than they had ever been. Jen was making a face like she understood me, and that she knew that I was just a hungry person, but then we both looked at Annie and everything changed. I felt my face flush a little when Annie started to look at me strangely and I realized what was coming out of her mouth before it did.

"You're not like…pregnant or anything are you?" Annie asked me. "Because that would explain all the food, and all the sex and—"

"—I'll whip up some dinner." Jen cut in hurriedly and left the room.

I looked at her. "You want some help?"

"Nah, you two rest. I have to do something to keep my mind off of things." Jen assured as and then she nodded slowly and left the room.

Annie looked at me. "So…what was _that_ about?"

I took a deep breath and motioned to the couch, Annie taking a seat and focusing all attention on me. This was hard for me to put into words but I knew there was no way past it—she had every right to know, and it wasn't like I hadn't mostly coped with it. So…I had to just get it all off of my chest.

"I can't have kids." I explained to Annie slowly. "I was pregnant and I lost the baby, Chelsea shot me, I had to have surgery, and I lost the baby…and the ability to conceive. So trust me, the hunger and the horny feelings are all natural."

Annie nodded slowly and took my hand. "I'm _really _sorry, Lan."

"It's okay…I've pretty much coped with it now. I mean it still hurts to think about obviously, but what's done is done and there's no changing it." I explained to her with a nod and then I looked at my phone again. "I swear if he doesn't call in the next—" I said, but them Dean's phone called mine and I answered. "Finally!"

"Sorry, Lanni." Dean told me, keeping a chuckle mostly in. "Sam and I were talking about some things."

I nodded at that. "How did the case go?"

"Was it angels?" Annie asked loudly so Dean could hear her.

"No, it wasn't angels. It was Father Gregory's spirit, but…Sam saw it, right? He was told to go and kill this guy that turned out to be bad news." Dean explained to me and I know he was still turning it all over in his head.

"It wasn't an angel." I told Annie, and then talked to Dean again. "Well the spirit was right about the others too."

"Yes but…when I chased him in my car, he got into an accident and this bar from this truck went through his windshield—and right into his heart." Dean added and then picked up after a pause. "It was—it was kind of freaky."

"Wow." I said nodding. "It's almost like it was really—"

"—God's will?" Dean finished for me. "Yeah…I'm still trying to get my head around it. So what's up with Kevin?"

I smiled a little at the fact that he was still turning over everything in his head, and that he was that much closer to being back with me. Also, it was nice that he sounded so worried about Kevin—that he cared so much about my other family. He was perfect…and I just wanted to be with him forever…was that too much to ask? Why was I so afraid to _tell_ him that? To explain my intentions to him?

"Well, Chelsea kidnapped him." I told him. "We can't leave until you guys get here, either—the girls have to be watched and we have to have a force to go up against Chelsea all at the same time."

"Of course—Sam and I can get there by tomorrow night maybe." Dean assured me. "Another night I spend without you…you really do owe me."

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah I do. I'll miss you tonight as well."

"Well I'm going to go ahead and turn in for the night, and we'll start driving out there more later all right?" Dean asked me.

"All right." I told him. "I love you."

"I love you too." Dean told me, and then we hung up.

"Kevin has a PS2, a GameCube and an XBOX." Annie said with a grin and an approving nod. "This is freaking cool."

I smiled at her. "Well let's play something before we eat."

xxxx

I woke up to laughter downstairs and dragged myself out of bed, my cell in hand, to go and see what was up. I hadn't bothered to fix my clothes or brush my hair, and when I got to the bottom of the stairs and saw Annie talking to three boys I hadn't seen since High School, I ran my fingers through my hair quickly and pulled it back. This was awkward and yet at the same time _completely_ awesome—it was nice to see them.

"Morning, Lan!" Michael exclaimed with a grin. "I haven't seen you since graduation!"

"Yeah." I told him, smiling too. "What a surprise."

Annie smiled at me. "Karl was delivering our paper and he said he recognized me—took me a moment to remember that I broke his GI Joe before…yeah."

"I remember that." I told him and then I smiled and held open my arms for a hug at the third guy there. "How are you Lance?"

Lance smirked at me and I suddenly felt as if I was naked under his gaze but I accepted the hug and I was glad to see him. Lance had been my High School boyfriend…the on/off boyfriend that knew everything about me…even about demons and ghosts and my powers. He was just as attractive as he had always been, and yet I hadn't ever thought I'd see these guys again.

"I'm doing fine, and I see you are too." He said with a smile as we pulled away from each other.

I smiled and blushed a little. "What brings you all here this morning?"

"We were all going down to the bowling alley after Karl was done with his route—yes in the morning—and we thought we'd check in with Jen and Kevin, but Annie tells us that Kevin is on a business trip." Michael explained with a shrug.

"Yeah, so…um…" I began and then trailed off.

Karl took the moment to speak up. "Why didn't you tell use Annie was still alive?"

I knew that the question would come up eventually, but I didn't know how to answer it—it was far too early in the morning for me to think something up. Lucky for me Annie had been up longer and she had a story all ready to share so I was pretty much good to go and ready to let her do this.

"Because she wasn't sure that I was going to get better and our parents told her not to." Annie explained to them. "After I got sick and everything you know, they just kept me at the hospital."

Lance nodded slowly, skeptical. "It must have sucked to spend the last 16 years in the hospital."

"Well part of it she spent at a rehabilitation clinic." I told them as Annie nodded.

"Wow. Hard life." Karl told her, smiling.

Annie shrugged and smiled a little. "There are harder things out there."

"So…you guys staying for breakfast?" I asked them.

"Jen went to go and get some donuts." Annie informed me.

I nodded and smiled at them all again as my cell phone rang and I silently thanked the Gods for that. I looked at the cover and I couldn't keep my grin at bay—hearing from Dean was honestly the best thing in the world.

"Excuse me a moment." I told them all, going into the kitchen and picking up. "Hey, Baby. Good morning."

"Morning." Dean said happily. "We're getting breakfast."

I smiled and nodded. "Jen went to go and get us donuts because there are people here."

"People?" Dean asked me.

"Like people from Elementary through High School." I told him. "It's weird. I mean I never really expected to see any of them again, but I woke up and Annie was talking to them all like we'd never been apart."

"Oh, so like, old friends?" Dean asked like he was fine with me having people to talk to.

I nodded slowly. "Um…well…sure."

"Sure?" He asked me. "You just said you've known them since Elementary School—they know Annie."

I bit my lip and took a breath because I knew if Dean told me that there were three girls from his past there and one was his ex _I'd_ be upset. Then again all of the girls in Dean's past were his _special friends_ so I had every license to be worried there. Maybe it wouldn't worry Dean at all…maybe I'd be fine.

"My ex is among them, so 'sure' is the best thing I could come up with." I admitted to him as I shrugged.

Dean paused and then took in a breath of air. "Your _ex_? Do I have to beat this guy up?"

"No, you don't." I told him with a laugh. "As sexy as it is that you're now jealous and protective, you have absolutely nothing to worry about, I promise you."

"You up for a video game match?" Lance asked, showing up out of nowhere. "Annie's getting all excited about versus on some fighting game, so are you in, Cookie?"

"Who was that? The ex?" Dean asked suddenly. "Sam…get in the car, we're getting food to go."

I paused at the High School nickname and then what Dean said registered. "Baby, you don't have to get food to go—you can sit down and eat with Sam, it's all right."

"Right, and let you and this ex of yours resolve some sexual tension? I don't think so." Dean replied and I knew his mind was set.

"Dean, Lance and I do not have _any_ unresolved sexual tension." I told him. "He's not my Cassie, so you're fine."

"Really?" Lance asked, and I knew he was joking but Dean didn't.

Dean made a derisive noise. "He better be there when I get there because I want to punch him in the face. I love you, and I'll see you soon. He touches you, and he's as good as a demon."

I smiled at that a bit—I _loved _him when he was possessive. "I love you too, see you soon."

I hung up and then I burst out laughing and Lance raised his eyebrows at me and I just smiled and shook my head. It was kind of nice to know that Lance was still the guy that I remembered, and I hadn't realized that he and Dean had _anything _in common, but they did and I was glad to see him. At the same time, I knew that I shouldn't be so happy to see him when he was my ex, and Dean was so _not _okay with him.

"So you have a boyfriend?" Lance asked me smiling.

"Yeah…" I nodded at him and then showed him the promise ring. "We're pretty serious too. He gave me this promise ring and I'm pretty definitely sure that he's the guy I was meant for."

Lance nodded at me. "Well I'm happy for you, Cookie."

"Thanks, I'm happy about it too, Cupcake." I told him.

Lance laughed at the High School nickname, and then we smiled at each other and Annie came bursting into the kitchen. She seemed so happy to see people from her past and to get to be somewhat normal and after our talk, I wanted her to just be happy and be free. I wanted her to have a normal life…being home just made me think about that more and I knew I shouldn't…because what if Dean definitely _didn't_ want to have that?

"Do you mind if I go hang out with the boys until Sam and Dean show up?" Annie asked me and then she pulled the puppy dog pout on me. "Please…please, please, please, please, please?"

"I don't mind." I admitted with a laugh. "Have fun, but be back before dark all right?"

Annie smiled at me. "You sound like Mom."

"Thanks." I told her, loving the compliment.

Annie nodded and hugged me before she went back out of the room and Jen arrived with the donuts. Once we had all eat some breakfast, Annie and the boys left to go and hang out a bit, and I turned to Jen as she breast-fed Kaydence, Minah still playing in the play pen happily. She was the perfect mother, and I really wished her all the happiness in the world—she deserved it _so_ much.

"That was weird." I told Jen.

Jen laughed a little. "Because you're used to being cut off from the world?"

"Exactly." I nodded at her.

"Then add on the ex on top of it all, and it's a lot to handle." Jen added with a nod.

I shrugged at that. "Seeing Lance wasn't a huge deal, but it made Dean kind of jealous."

Jen smiled at me and I looked at her and I smiled too—having Dean jealous was fun, and yet I felt bad for milking it like I felt like I was. I mean I was letting him know that I was his and he had nothing to worry about, but at the same time I _liked _him jealous…I was willing to keep him that way just a little bit longer.

"I bet you _loved_ that." Jen told me.

I nodded at her. "I kind of like it when he's jealous and possessive, even though he has no reason to be. I'm his, and he knows he has me."

"You look like you need to do something." Jen told me when I paused.

"I need to go home." I explained to her.

xxxx

When I got to my house, I looked at the door and I ran my fingers along it—I was glad to be home. It was my house, and it was the place I had called 'home' for so long but…for some reason I really couldn't see it that way anymore…not unless Dean was there. What was that? I was happy and then I wasn't happy because I was devastated about losing a baby, and then I was happy again. But now, suddenly, I couldn't be happy because I wanted to be Dean's wife.

Wait a minute…I wanted to be Dean's _wife_? I had thought about potentially wanting to be married to Dean, but that was really what I _wanted_? I just nodded to myself and then I unlocked the door and walked inside, trying to forget about what I was thinking about right then. I mean in any _normal _relationship that was going this well this would be a normal chain reaction, right? No, no—I was _thinking _about it again.

"Well hello, House." I said as I shut the front door behind me.

I smiled as I looked around and every feeling that I had was telling me that I knew that I needed to be here. I wanted the albums, I wanted to sleep in here—I wanted to be in this house. I tried all of the lights and I smiled because the electric, gas and water bills had all been paid—Jen kept on top of that. Going upstairs, I looked around and then found the album I had come here for, but for some reason I didn't really want to leave the house—I loved my house. I missed it—almost as much as I missed Dean.

"Maybe I'll stay here and find something to do." I told the house. "We can get reacquainted and all that jazz."

So I sat down and wandered around, and went out to buy a little food and came back and hung out at my house by myself. Jen was doing fine with the girls and Annie was probably having a lot of fun with the boys, not to mention that Sam and Dean were driving and probably talking about something fun. My house and I were happy together, so forget everyone else.

I ended up putting a movie into the television I had moved up into my room, and I watched that while vegging out, eating junk food and lounging around in my nightgown. It was a vampire movie, and I loved it, and by then I had already told Jen and Annie that I was staying here and that Annie was welcome to come here too. I was happily eating some homemade apple pie when I got a call from Dean.

"Hello, Baby." I answered happily.

"Hey, Baby." He replied with a chuckle. "I was letting you know that we'll be there tomorrow—Kevin still alive?"

I nodded at that. "Jen called earlier and told me he was fine, and Chelsea had a time and place for us to meet her at tomorrow so I'm just here at _my_ house all alone."

"Good." He told me. "Well not the _alone_ part—Sam and I are trying to get there as fast as possible."

"I know, Baby. You're doing the best you can do." I replied with a nod. "I'm entertained with TV, I promise."

Dean chuckled and I knew he was shaking his head. "What are you watching?"

"I am watching Bram Stoker's _Dracula_." I replied, trying to sound Transylvanian. "I kind of love it, and Gary Oldman is sexy as sin."

"I can't believe you like trashy vampire movies…even though Winona Ryder was _hot_ in that movie." Dean laughed and made a sound I knew all too well which made me laugh too because he was adorable.

I rolled my eyes too. "Sounds like someone _else_ watches trashy vampire movies too—and for the record I actually _don't_ like trashy vampire movies…just Bram Stoker."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself, Baby." Dean told me with another laugh. "I'll let you go to watch your movie and I'll see you as soon as possible."

I smiled and focused on his voice. "I love you, Dean."

"I love you too, Lanni." Dean told me. "I'll see you soon."

I nodded and we hung up, me smiling a bit because he was honestly perfect—he didn't say 'I love you' because he wanted to…he said it because he knew I wanted/need to hear it. It wasn't that eh didn't love me—he did and I _knew_ that—it was just that 'love' wasn't a word that Dean Winchester said a lot…but he knew me well enough to use it.

I smiled and nodded, finishing my movie and going to sleep, snuggled into the bed and woke up in the middle of the night to arms wrapped around me. I recognized that watch anywhere, and so I turned over and smiled at Dean, kissing his lips softly. He'd stripped off all of his clothes and climbed into bed with me, and I was so happy to have him with me again.

"How'd you get in?" I asked, running my fingers along his bare torso.

Dean smiled a little, his eyes closed. "Jen gave me her key."

"What time is it?" I asked him softly, kissing his chest.

"Feels like five minutes since I crawled into bed." He answered, opening his eyes.

I smiled and kissed his lips this time, moving my body closer to his because I wanted to be closer to him. He slid his fingers into my hair as he kissed me back and held onto me, and I felt perfect. Dean was here, I was home, and I was loved and wanted…there was absolutely nothing else that I could ask for…

"You were driving fast, weren't you?" I asked him.

"Maybe a little." He shrugged and cupped my chin. "Where's my punching bag?"

I smiled at him. "I have absolutely no idea."

Dean smiled at me when I said that and kissed me again, kissing me a little harder when I ran my fingers along his chest and I smiled. We both knew where this was going, but it was no fun without a little banter…a little talking. Dean knew that, and when he pulled away and looked at me, stroking my jaw with his thumb, he smirked and it was all about to start here and then continue on.

"You remember this bed?" He asked me softly.

I nodded at him. "Yes…yes I do."

"You remember what happened in this bed the first time we met?" He asked again, elaborating on what he had said before.

"One big happy blur." I replied with a smile.

Dean nodded and returned my smile with one of his own. "You know…you still owe me $15.78."

"I bet I know something I can do that's worth more than $15.78." I told him, and kissed him as he wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

I climbed on top of him and pressed my body to his, his right hand rubbing down my leg to my hip, and sliding my nightgown up my leg. I ran my lips down to his neck, and he smiled as I bit his neck softly like I knew he liked and we both made a face when my cell phone went off. I wouldn't normally reach over and just answer my phone—I was learning from my mistakes and Dean was in the mood right now—but I recognized the ringtone and _had_ to answer it.

"Don't get it." Dean whispered, moving his fingers in ways that I was used to. "I'm kind of enjoying this."

I smiled, nodded, and pulled back. "It's Jen's ringtone…I _have_ to get it—it's probably about Kevin."

"Fine." He said, and he pouted as I sat up on him a little straighter and put the phone up to my ear.

"Hi, Jen." I told her.

Jen didn't waste anytime talking. "Can we please get on saving Kevin now? It's almost time for us to leave to get to the warehouse."

"It's really that late?" I asked her and nodded when she told me it was. "Yeah, Dean and I will be there soon."

I hung up and got off of Dean, watching him get up and go to grab his clothes. I honestly didn't know if he had brought Sam with him or left him at Jen's, and I sighed a little and got up, wrapping my arms around his torso before he had a chance to put his shirt on. He knew we had to do this, but at the same time he really didn't want to, and when I kissed his back softly, he relaxed a bit. It was the perfect time to talk to him and I knew I could make it up to him if I tried hard enough.

"After we save Kevin, we're going to need a bath don't you think?" I asked him with a soft shrug, kissing his back again.

Dean chuckled and I loved the feeling of his muscles moving as my body was pressed against his. Everything about this man was magical, and I really wished I didn't have to let him go either, but as happy as I was right then, Jen wasn't…and Jen meant _everything_ to me. Her husband was missing and I needed to help her to find him—so Dean was just going to have to wait, and he understood that…just another thing about him that made him so damn wonderful.

"Absolutely." He replied with a nod.

"I really do love you, you know. If I could spend _every_ waking moment with you, I would." I told him. "I meant what I said about not wanting to live without you."

Dean turned around and kissed me tenderly. "I don't want to live without you either, Lanni."

"You know, I don't think I deserve you." I told him softly, running my fingers along his abs slowly.

"No…you deserve _better_ than me, but you _chose_ me, and that's what matters." He said with a cheeky grin on his face.

I laughed a little and kissed him, pulling away reluctantly. "The faster we save Kevin, the faster we get to do what _we_ want to do."

"Then let's go." Dean replied with a nod.

xxxx

"I want to kill Chelsea this time, guys—once and for all." Jen said and then she sighed. "We need that fucking rune."

I smiled at her a little. "I haven't heard you swear in a while Jen…I kinda missed it. Sam? Dean?"

"Yeah, Lan?" Sam answered with a smile on his face because of what I'd said to Jen.

"The girls and I need you two to stay with Minah and Kaydence. Secure the perimeter of the house." I explained to them.

Dean shook his head. "No way—Sam and I aren't just letting you three run off up against Chelsea again. Don't you remember what happened last time?"

"Annie, Jen and I are going to be fine, Dean. Jen and I have Annie this time if Chelsea tries to get away." I told him and took a breath. "You and Sammy will be just fine. Chelsea will kill Kevin if either of you are there, and judging by how strong she is now, that's not an exaggeration."

"I use formula now anyway." Jen lied, knowing neither of them wanted to test out warm breast milk if the girls woke up. "They were really wearing out my boobs and this way, Kevin gets them just as much as I do."

Sam tried to hold back a laugh. "Oh…well that's better."

"And they'll most likely sleep the whole way through it anyway." Annie told them with a shrug.

I nodded in agreement. "You'll be fine, I promise."

The three of us just really wanted to get out there and find Chelsea—kill her in a way that would make her stay away longer this time. Jen had already figured out some perimeter spells so that this wouldn't happen again, and Annie was pretty sure once we did this, Chelsea would have a new target anyway—we just didn't know if it would be her or me…we'd have to wait and see on that.

"All right. We'll do it." Dean said with a nod.

"Thanks, Baby." I smiled at him and squeezed his hand.

He nodded at me. "But you owe me."

"I know." I laughed as he smiled a little, and then I turned to Jen and Annie. "Let's go guys…it's now or never."

Annie nodded at that, and then she, Jen and I left the house to go and meet Chelsea where she had wanted us to meet her. As we walked, Annie handed us each these pendants she and Jen had made the night before—they were to ward of vampires. The two of them had bonded with each other and Sam while Dean and I were in our house all on our own and I was glad they all got along—that both of my families got along.

"So the plan is that I go on in, rough her up a bit, and then Jen takes out the guards and you go for the rune?" Annie asked me.

I nodded at her. "Exactly."

"Great." Annie nodded too, and we came to the building and looked at each other.

"Ready?" Jen asked us. "Because we have to have our wits about us so she doesn't do anything to Kevin, all right?"

Annie and I nodded and assured her that we were ready for this, and while Jen and Annie went inside, I scaled the building and got to the top floor, smiling when I saw Chelsea. She was just as I had always left her—that cheeky redhead with the attitude and the annoying habit of hurting what I loved. She saw me and she smirked, both of us standing there and facing each other.

"Well, well, well. What have we here?" Chelsea asked me.

I smiled a little. "It's time for you to stop coming back, Chelsea."

"I'm not ready to go just yet, Lanni." Chelsea replied, smiling a toothy smile at me. "Besides…you don't know _how_ to kill me for once and for all."

"Don't call me that." I told her firmly. "You lost that right when you became a vampire."

"Are we just going to stand around talking?" Chelsea asked me in a bored voice.

I gave her a look. "We used to be best friends, Chelsea—you, Jen and I did _everything_ together. We _trained_ you."

The plan hadn't been for me to come in and talk to her, but I felt so bad for what Jen and I had turned her into. She had to have _some_ ounce of decency still left in her, didn't she? I mean there had been a time that I had wanted to murder her for what she'd done to me—for killing my baby—but she was still my friend…I mean she could still be my friend, couldn't she? Or was I just trying to be as optimistic about that as Jen had once been when Chelsea was in fact really gone?

"You got me turned into this." Chelsea said, and part of me honestly found some humanity behind it. "You made me this disgusting being. There are vampires who don't feed on humans, Lanni. There are vampires who wish they weren't vampires. You—you made me this way…own up to it."

"But I _am_ owning up to it, Chels. I _have_ owned up to it." I admitted to her. "I miss you. I'm so sorry I did this to you…I wish you could forgive me."

She nodded at my words. "I wish I could too."

"I know Jen and I made this mistake, but we can't be held responsible for what you've done since you turned. Not that I want to point fingers either…but you _did_ go use yourself as bait and wouldn't let Jen and I follow you." I reminded her.

"Yeah, I know I did, but you guys never made me feel included. You always made me feel like the weak link—like you just tolerated me." Chelsea explained to me with a nod. "After the fire, you were different, Lanni. You didn't care about anyone anymore and don't deny that. You just—you just wanted to kill demons. Then I died, and something snapped—you realized how much I meant to you, but not before I was already gone. Jen's the only one with real feelings around her…she and Kevin…I mean you didn't even realize how much you wanted Dean until he was dying—until I kidnapped him."

I nodded sadly. "You're right, Chels…but I'd like to think that I've grown since then…that I'm a different person than the shell of one I was after my parents were murdered. I'm sorry I never made you feel like you meant something to me…because you did…you really did. Chels, if you don't stop now, you understand I have to kill you, right?"

"I can't let you kill me, Lanni." Chelsea said as she shook her head. "As much as it pains me to do this, I have to kill you…I have my orders…"

"Then so be it, Chels. I'll miss you even more when you're gone for good." I promised her with a smile.

Chelsea came at me, but I raised my force field, causing her to hiss when she hit it. As I lunged at her, Annie and Jen came into the room, and Jen grabbed the rune while Annie kicked Chelsea in the face as Chelsea threw me across the room. I hit the wall hard and felt the wind get knocked out of me, looking up as Chelsea's attention was not on Annie.

"You brought Little Annie." Chelsea said, standing up and wiping the blood off of her lip, smiling. "This plan is working out perfectly."

She went for Annie, but Annie was too quick for her, using her powers to throw Chelsea into a wall, but not before Chelsea had thrown a knife, it hitting Annie in the side. I got to my feet and headed for them, appalled that Annie was now stabbed, but something made me pause. I could have sworn that Annie's eyes were flashing yellow, and I swallowed and closed my eyes for a moment before opening them again to make sure I had seen that correctly.

"You stupid…" Annie began, and pulled the knife out, her eyes flashing more—I had never been afraid of my sister until that very moment.

"Your father will be proud of you, Annie…embracing your powers like that…you'll see me once more. Goodbye, Jenny." Chelsea whispered, smiling at Jen and I before Annie used her powers to rip Chelsea's head off of her body, blood getting on all three of us before she turned to ashes.

"How did you do that?" Jen asked cautiously.

Annie shook her head and her eyes returned to normal. "I don't know…I really…I don't know."

Jen and I nodded at her and decided together _not_ to bring up what had just gone down—not to ask about Annie's eyes flashing. The scariest part was that I could have sworn I'd seen those eyes before…not the same ones, but ones _very_ similar. To top it off, what exactly had Chelsea meant by 'your father'? Was it possible that this was just all some trap? Just a trap to get Annie to embrace the psychic powers within her…did this have to do with the demon's plan?

"She's sorry, Jen." I told Jen, changing the subject to Chelsea. "She was really sorry."

"Chelsea?" Jen asked me skeptically.

I nodded slowly. "I think I might have gotten through to her."

"You think this was all part of the demon's plan?" Annie asked us, changing the subject back to the _important_ things.

"Anything is possible, Annie." I told her with a sad smile.

Annie nodded and bit her lip. "I really hope she didn't mean the demon."

I nodded again because I had hoped she hadn't meant him too. Then it hit me for a moment—Annie's eyes had flashed yellow…the color of _the demon's_ eyes…what if…no…that would be ridiculous. I wasn't going to give it another moment of thought because it was just a _ridiculous_ notion.

"Jenny?" Came Kevin's voice.

"In all of this, I almost forgot about Kevin!" I cried, hurrying over to the closet in the room and all of us letting him out.

"Thank you for forgetting me." Kevin told me and then looked around as Jen hugged him. "What the—there's blood everywhere."

Jen nodded into him. "Annie killed Chelsea…I just wish it was for once and for all."

"Wow." Kevin told her. "You must be quite the powerful one."

Annie still looked really shaken up and Kevin rubbed his head as I reached over and pulled Annie to me. I wanted her to feel like she was going to be all right, even though I was freaked out too—I mean she'd done that to Chelsea _with her mind_. What else could she do? What the Hell was going on around here?

"Kevin, are you all right?" Jen asked him, looking him over for cuts and bruises.

"I think I'll be okay." He assured her with a smile. "I'm just a little roughed up. She never actually intended to hurt me…this was all a trap."

Jen nodded and then she smiled. "I'm just really happy nothing happened to you."

"Let's get back to the boys." I replied, taking Annie's hand and looking her in the eye. "It's going to be all right, Annie."

Annie just nodded, though I wasn't quite sure she believed me—why should she? I didn't know what was going on or what all of this meant, but we had the rune…which meant we were that much closer to figuring everything out. Knowing Jen though, she wanted to study it first—Kevin would _demand _she do that anyway—and so we just shook things off, and went back to the house and Dean came over to us.

"You're covered in blood." He said, looking us all over.

I nodded and shrugged. "Annie killed Chelsea in a pretty violent manner."

"Well I guess I'm glad to hear it." Dean told her.

Annie just nodded and went into the downstairs guest room and Dean gave me a look as Jen and Kevin went upstairs to get cleaned up. He knew something was up with her and I took a deep breath, knowing I had to fess up. Just in case though, I was going to have to fib a little like every other demon part of my past…I was getting sick of it. Dean deserved to know…he deserved to know that my father was a demon…but now?

"What's going on?" He asked me.

"Annie…Annie's eyes flashed before she killed Chelsea. Annie—Annie's afraid because Chelsea said the demon would be proud of her." I explained, looking at the floor and then back up into his eyes. "I just—I was actually afraid of her for a moment."

I felt my lip tremble and Dean wrapped his arms around me and then rested his fingers under my chin, lifting my face up so he could look my in the eye. He kissed me even though I was blood-splattered, and I was really glad that he was here to help me through this. There were so many things running through my mind and I knew I couldn't handle them all on my own.

"Annie's not just going to go evil, Lanni. We'll save her _and_ Sam—I _promise_ you that." He told me. "You believe me, don't you?"

I believed him so I nodded. No matter what ever happened in our lives, I believed him and I trusted him…and I _loved_ him. I loved him more than _anything_—more than life. I felt all sappy and mushy around him, and when I talked about him to everyone else I was bordering on sickening…but it was true…he had to know where I stood with him…had to know that I wanted to be his wife—he deserved that much.

"I love being with you, Dean. I want to be with you forever and I don't ever want you to question where I'm going to be. I want to be in your future, and I want it to be official, because I want to prove to you how _much_ I love you." I whispered, kissing him softly.

Dean stroked my hair. "What are you trying to say, Lanni?"

I opened my mouth to say something when Annie came out of her room and came towards us. All I wanted to do was just blurt it out so I could finish what I was saying, but he deserved to have my news delivered differently than that. So I just turned to Annie and when I saw the fear on her face, I was alert—Annie was what mattered right then.

"Sam's gone." She told us.

I felt my heart break. "Gone? What do you mean gone?"

"I mean he took off." Annie replied slowly. "I mean he took off and I don't think he's coming back."

**Note: I'm SUPER sorry that this one is kinda long and has a cliffhanger. At least it's only an 18 pager. But uh, the next chapter ALSO has a cliffy so be prepared. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	36. Marry Me

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay, this is one of my FAVORITE chapters so…I hope you guys like it too.**

**It has a cliffhanger and sadly we're that much closer to the saddest chapter.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Sam had been missing for a little over a week now and I still hadn't talked to Dean about anything because we had one objective and one objective only—get Sam back. Besides, Annie, Dean and I were really freaking out at this point, though I was much more hysterical than either of them…Dean being his older brother or no. We had tried calling Sam over and over, and we even tried calling Jen and Ellen, but no one knew anything. Even so, Dean tried calling Ellen again, hoping that she had some more news because we were all starting to lose face.

"Ellen, it's me again. Any chance you've heard from him? I swear it's like looking for Dad all over again. I'm losing my mind." Dean told her as Annie tried calling Jen and I tried calling Sam again. "I've called him a thousand times! It's nothing but voicemail. I don't know where he went or why. Sam's just gone. Hold on."

I looked up when I heard him say that, and he was staring at his phone—it looked like he was excited for a moment. I mean the excitement wasn't all over his face, but it was that glint of hope in his eyes, and I watched him switch the call over and hurriedly put the phone up to his ear and I held my breath for a moment.

"Sammy? Where the hell are you? Are you okay?" Dean asked and I felt like I could breathe again—thank _God_ Sam had called.

Annie nodded as I did. "Thank God."

"Calm down, where are you? All right, we're on our way." Dean told him, hanging up the phone and then turning to glancing at Annie and I as he made his way to the driver's seat. "Get in the car."

Annie and I obeyed and got into the car, Dean driving rather fast to get to this motel that Sam was at. We were all worried, but Dean was traveling faster than all of us as we hurried inside and started looking for the room number, and when Dean found it, he started knocking on the door frantically.

"Sam? Sam it's me." Dean said, but when no one opened the door, he opened it himself and we walked in to see Sam sitting on the bed, completely and utterly confused, sad and blank, so Dean approached him cautiously. "Hey."

"Hey, Dean." Sam replied without out looking up.

Dean knelt by him. "Are you bleeding?"

"I tried to wash it off." Sam told him as Annie went to sit next to him on the motel bed and I stayed near the door.

"Oh my God." Dean said, looking him over and seeing blood on his shirt.

Sam swallowed before speaking again. "I don't think it's my blood."

Sam had been missing for a whole _week_ and what? He just suddenly didn't remember _anything_? How was that even possible? Something was going on here, but I was too worried about Sam to focus and I didn't want to—I just wanted Sam to be all right, I just…I just wanted Sam.

"Whose is it?" I asked calmly.

"I don't know." He answered me.

Dean looked up at him. "Sam, what the Hell happened?"

"Dean…I don't remember anything." Sam said sadly.

"We can go and check at the front desk for you." Annie offered as Dean and I stood there not quite knowing how to take this.

Sam nodded at her. "Please."

Annie and Dean left the room, but I stayed there and as soon as they shut the door behind them I bit my lip and looked directly at him. Maybe if I just asked him in my calm, 'Lana' way he would talk to me about this…maybe? It was definitely worth a try and I was freaking out on the inside…I needed this to work out…I needed Sam to be all right.

"Sammy…" I began, but I trailed off.

"I—I don't know what happened, Lan." He assured me.

I sat on the bed next to him and I held him to me, kissing his head and closing my eyes, feeling him against me. I didn't like seeing Sam like this, and I knew that something was terribly wrong but I couldn't voice it. I just had to sit there with him and let him know that I was there…that I wasn't going anywhere.

"Its okay, Sammy…it's going to be okay." I told him, running my fingers through his hair and then kissing the top of his head again. "I'm never going to let anything happen to you ever again, you hear me? I promise."

He pulled away a little and I placed my hands on his face, smiling as best I could and stroking his cheeks with my fingers. I just needed him to understand that I wasn't going to let him be hurt—he was my family, and I was going to take care of him. Before I could say anything else though, he kissed me, and at first I was surprised, but then I pushed him off firmly.

"Sammy, I know you're hurting right now, and I want to help you and take that hurt away, but not like that." I told him calmly.

"Sorry." He told me, looking down at the bed. "I just—I don't know what came over me…and I'm sorry."

I nodded, raising an eyebrow for a moment because Sam was acting strange…and not in the way I understood. I _knew_ he needed comfort, but Sam wouldn't just kiss me like that—it wasn't like him. He knew there were boundaries, and he knew how I felt about Dean, and we had both talked about this—there wasn't anything between us…so what _was_ that?

"I think I need to change." Sam said suddenly.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…sure."

"I'll take a shower." He told me, and went into the bathroom, leaving me there to open my laptop and e-mail Jen—things were weirder and weirder by the moment.

I e-mailed Jen and then lay on the bed, Sam sitting on the other one until Dean and Annie came back, and told him he had checked in three days ago and everyone thought the room was rather quiet. Then we went outside and found a car with a bloody knife and cigarettes in it, trying to figure out what was going on. Sam didn't smoke…and what was with the bloody knife? Nothing was adding up…and we needed to know _why_.

"Look at this, a gas receipt from three towns over." Sam said, and we all got into the car and went to the gas station.

"You, get out of here." The man said, and threatened to call the police since Sam had apparently been in the station and had thrown a bottle at him, completely drunk, and stolen some cigarettes and taken off.

Dean looked at us. "Guys, go wait in the car."

"But Dean." Sam protested.

"Now." Dean said again.

Annie, Sam and I nodded and went out and talked by the car before Dean came out and told us that we needed to go on the highway. We headed out the direction the man in the station had pointed out to us, and then Sam had us go down a road towards a house because it seemed sort of familiar to him. When we got there, we found a man that was dead and lying in his own blood, and when Sam used Dean's lock pick on the closet, we found weapons…meaning he was a hunter…and there was a security camera in there—it would hold our answers.

We watched the security tape, and on it we found evidence…evidence of Sam killing the man and I didn't know what to think of it. As the Sam on the tape actually killed the hunter I didn't know, I had to look away…that just couldn't have been _my_ Sam. Sam wouldn't do something like this. Nothing was right—nothing at all. Sam didn't even feel right. He didn't smell right. Something about him was off but I didn't know what.

"How do you erase this, huh? Sam, come on, I need your help." Dean told him as Sam read a letter to himself.

I stood up. "I need air. Annie, help Dean erase the tape."

I walked out of the room, knowing I should be helping Sam, but also wishing I could figure out what was going on here. I'd known this guy for almost two years now, and I hated seeing Sam like this—seeing Dean like this. Everything was getting messed up and I'd dragged Annie into it all. What the Hell kind of sister _was_ I?

"Please pick up, Jen." I told the phone as I pressed '1' on my speed-dial.

"Hello, Lan." Jen answered.

I took a deep breath. "Hi, Jenny."

"What's wrong?" She asked me, her whole demeanor changed when she picked up on my sad tone.

I bit my lip. "Sammy killed a hunter, Jen."

"What?" Jen asked, and I could tell she was even _more_ alert now. "That doesn't sound like Sam…not the Sam _we_ know, anyway."

"No, it really doesn't, but we saw the tape, he had blood on him and—this isn't how I wanted to find him." I told her finally.

In fact nothing that I wanted seemed to be happening right now—nothing was going how _I_ wanted it to go. I had wanted to tell Dean that I wanted to marry him, and I hadn't wanted Sam to go missing in the first place. But since he had, I had wanted to find him and have things be normal…_obviously_ that was _far_ too much to ask for. Now what was I going to do? I just wanted my somewhat happy family back…and quick.

"It can't be Sam, Lan…it just can't be. You have to look at other options." Jen told me hurriedly.

"What else am I supposed to look at Jen? The demon has plans for Sam…maybe these are those plans." I said, knowing I didn't believe that, but not knowing what else to think.

Jen made a noise. "Lan, I know you don't believe that. Call me back when you have more news, all right? I'm taking the girls over to their Grandfather's."

"Yeah, all right." I nodded slowly. "I love all of you."

"And _we_ love _you_." Jen assured me. "Take care of yourself and Annie and the boys, all right?"

I nodded and smiled a little. "Yeah, I will. Bye."

"Bye." She replied, and hung up.

I slowly pulled the phone from my ear and looked at it as I flipped the top shut, turning when I heard a noise. Annie came out with a look on her face, and immediately came over to me. If she had something on her mind I sure as Hell wasn't going to stop her from saying it…we needed to figure this thing out and if she had _any_ ideas as to _why_ Sam was acting the way he was, I was all ears.

"I don't think Sam is Sam." Annie told me without beating around the bush. "He doesn't feel right to me. Normally his aura is so much more…peaceful."

"I know what you mean." I replied, nodding. "But what could it be? Do you think that the demon is calling out to him? Using him?"

Annie shook her head. "I think he's possessed."

I thought about that for a moment—he _could_ be possessed, it was certainly possible. He still felt familiar even though he didn't feel entirely like Sam…so honestly it fit because that just meant he was alive and a demon was using his flesh. What would be the point in that though? Possessing Sam? Why?

"We should look into that, then." I told her.

Annie nodded quickly. "And soon."

"We're ready to go." Dean told us as he and Sam came out of the door.

xxxx

"All right, we get a couple hours' sleep and then we put this place in our rearview mirror. I know it's bad, okay?" Dean told Sam as we got back into the motel room. "You got to snap out of it. Sam…say something."

"Just get some sleep and leave in the morning?" Sam asked him. "Murder, Dean. That's what I did."

"Maybe, okay?" Dean said as Sam scoffed. "We don't kn—Shapeshifter."

Sam gave him a look. "Oh come on. You know it's not. You saw the tape: there were no eye flares, no distortions."

"But it wasn't you, all right?" I told him suddenly, and I knew I was raising my voice but I didn't care. "It wasn't you, Sammy!"

"I mean it was you, but it wasn't _you_." Dean explained to him.

I knew that he was trying to lighten the situation a little, but I shot him a look anyway because I _knew_ the tone of voice that Sam was using. He was giving up, and that _also_ wasn't like him—he fought against his so called destiny more than the rest of us did so what the Hell was going on?

"Well I think it was." Sam said, sitting down on one of the motel beds. "I think maybe more than you know."

"Sam…" Annie began, but trailed off.

Dean gave Sam a focused look. "What the Hell does that mean?"

"For the last few weeks I've been having…I've been having these feelings." Sam explained to him.

"What feelings?" I asked, Dean and me sitting on the other motel bed as Annie sat in a chair near us.

Sam suddenly looked upset. "Rage…Hate. And I can't stop it. It just gets worse. Day by day it just gets worse."

"You never told me this." Dean told him.

"I didn't want to scare you." Sam admitted to him.

"Well bang-up job on that." Dean told him, getting up.

Sam looked up at Dean. "Dean, the Yellow-Eyed Demon—you know he has plans for me. We all know that he's turned other children into killers before too."

"No one can control you, but you." Dean said forcefully.

"It sure doesn't feel like that, Dean. It just feels like no matter what I do, slowly but surely I'm becoming—" Sam was saying.

"—what?" Annie interrupted him.

"Who I'm meant to be." Sam said, and Dean scoffed, packing some stuff into his bag. "I mean you said it once yourself, Dean. I gotta face up to who I am."

This was getting ridiculous and I knew I wasn't the only one who thought so, but it seemed like I was the only one losing it with tears. They weren't even tears because I was really sad…they were tears of frustration and I knew now wasn't the time to lose it like this but what choice did I have? My family was being ripped apart at the seams and there was nothing I could do about it.

"I didn't mean this!" Dean cried, desperate to find something else to talk about.

"But it's true, you know that! Dad knew it too!" Sam told him, getting up as I put my face in my hands and Annie grabbed a granola bar out of her bag. "That's why he told you if it ever came to this—"

"—shut-up, Sam." Dean interrupted him firmly.

"Dean, you promised him." Sam told him and then he gave Dean a look. "You promised me."

"No. Listen to me. We're going to figure this out, okay?" Dean told him as I stood up and ran my fingers through my hair exasperatedly. "I mean, there's gotta be a way, right?"

"Yeah, there is." Sam said, handing Dean the gun. "I don't want to hurt anyone else. I don't want to hurt you."

I shook my head and my voice came out shaky…soft. "Sam, stop this."

"You won't. Whatever this is…you can fight it." Dean pleaded with him.

"No, I can't. Not forever. Here. You gotta do it." Sam said, cocking it for him and looking at him as he looked at the gun. "Lan and Annie won't…and you promised me, Dean…_you_ gotta do it."

I couldn't believe that this was happening, and Annie just kept her mouth shut and looked away, deep in thought. She was probably wondering what would happen if this happened to her—since she was psychic too. I could _never_ kill Annie…just like I knew that promise or no promise, Dean wasn't about to kill Sam.

"You know, I've tried so hard to keep you safe." Dean told him, and they looked at each other—the looks were breaking my heart.

"I know." Sam told him, tearing up a little.

We all stood there just looking at each other for a moment or two and then everyone's eyes were on me when I reached out and took Sam's hand. This couldn't be the answer…there had to be another way…but what? How did Annie and I figure out if Sam was possessed without letting the demon potentially inside of Sam know?

"You don't have to do this." I told Sam slowly.

"Yes I do." He said nodding, and looked at Dean, who looked at him.

"I can't." Dean admitted brokenly. "I'd rather die."

Dean put the gun down and walked past Sam, shaking his head and I closed my eyes for a moment in relief—thank you. I knew Dean wouldn't be able to do it, but at the same time, the waiting for him to pull the trigger was driving us _all_ nuts and we knew it.

"No…you'll live." Sam said, picking up the gun, and we all looked at him. "You'll live to regret this."

Then he smashed Dean in the face, causing him to fall over, and he knocked Annie out when she ran to him, and then he pointed the gun at me. I knew then that this wasn't Sam—he was _definitely_ possessed…but again why? I couldn't come up with a motive here, no matter _how_ I tried to wrap my head around it.

"Don't follow me." He said, and then he grinned an evil grin and knocked me out too.

xxxx

I woke up to loud knocking, and Annie cursing and I rubbed my head a little. Dean had just gotten up off of the floor, and Annie was flexing her hands, and I knew what was going to happen to Sam next time we saw him—she was going to hurt him.

"Are you all right?" I asked Annie.

She nodded quickly. "I'm fine, but Sam won't be when I see him next."

"He's obviously possessed." I told her.

"I don't care if he's possessed—he knocked me out." Annie replied.

"I need to use your computer." Dean told the landlord as he explained he'd have to charge us extra since it was 12:30—past check-out.

He gave Dean a look as I looked up. "Now why would I let you use my computer?"

I sat up as Dean gave him some money, and we all went downstairs with our stuff and Dean logged onto the computer and got on the phone. We needed to track Sam via his cell phone, and figure out where the Hell he had gone. Since he was possessed, that meant that the demon was going after hunters…so which one was next?

"Hi. Yeah, I'm sorry to bother you, but my son, uh, snuck out of the house last night to go to an, um, Justin Timberlake concert." Dean explained, and Annie laughed a little. "What?"

Annie shook her head and I just smiled and ran my hand along Dean's thigh because we all needed to be calm. He came up with the first thing that had come to his mind and all we were doing was tracking Sam. If this was how we did it then so be it—wait…why was that look crossing over Dean's face?

"Yeah. Justin is quite the triple threat." He said, and rolled his eyes a bit as Annie and I laughed. "Uh, anyway, he's not back yet, and I'm starting to worry. Right, yeah, boys will be boys. Yes, but, you see, Sammy's a diabetic, and if he doesn't get his insulin I don't—I don't—I just have to find him. Please, I'm begging you."

I took the phone from him. "Hello? This is Sammy's mother. Maybe my husband isn't making it clear that this is a life or death situation. Now I'd really appreciate it if you told us what we needed to know…unless you want me to talk to your supervisor."

"No, ma'am, are you on the website?" The man asked as Dean rested his hand on my side.

"We're on the website right now. I just need to activate the GPS in his cell phone." I replied, and typed in the password he gave me. "Right there, Duluth, Minnesota."

"That's a long way to go for a concert." The man said.

I nodded and smiled a little. "Yes, that is a long way to go for a concert. We appreciate your help. Thank you very much."

"You're welcome." The man replied merrily.

"Have a good day." I said before hanging up.

I looked at Dean and he smirked at me, and I shrugged and gave him a 'what' look because I didn't know what the look was for. I had handled it correctly, hadn't I? Why was he chuckling?

"Wow, you're good at that." Dean told me with pride in his voice.

I blushed and shrugged. "It comes naturally."

"Hey, isn't that where Jo is?" Annie asked us, pulling our focus from each other and turning it on her. "I mean…I figured out where she was after Jen said something about Lanni and um…anyway, isn't that where Jo is?"

"Before we go, we need to get some holy water." I told her, narrowing my eyes at her a bit and trying _not_ to look at Dean.

"What did Jen tell you about Jo?" Dean asked as we all went to get ourselves a ride to Minnesota.

Annie shrugged nonchalantly. "Just something about how Lanni was jealous of her liking you."

"Annie!" I told her as she just smiled.

It was bad enough that sometimes I felt slightly worried about the way other women looked at Dean—I didn't need him to _know_ that! I mean I knew Annie wasn't going to lie to him when he asked a direct question but really? Did she have to go into _that much_ detail about it?

"You were jealous of Jo?" Dean asked me, leaning into me and laughing a little. "Aww, my baby's jealous when she doesn't need to be!"

I rolled my eyes and kissed him to shut him up. "The man I love is _real_ mature."

"It just makes you love me more." Dean replied, and kissed me again.

"Yeah, yeah—let's just go stop Sam before he hurts Jo, all right?" I asked him.

He nodded, and the three of us hitched a ride to Minnesota, which was honestly easy enough. When we got there, Dean, Annie and I burst in, our guns raised, and found Jo tied to a post, Sam looking very evil and angry. Jo was gagged and she looked pretty worried, and as soon as we got past Sam, we would get to Jo.

"Sam!" Dean cried at him.

"I begged you to stop me, Dean!" Sam yelled at him.

Dean looked at him. "Put the knife down, damn-it."

"I told you, I can't fight it! My head feels like it's on fire, all right?" Sam said and he looked kind of pained. "Dean, kill me, or I'm gonna kill her. Please. You'll be doing me a favor. Shoot me. Shoot me!"

We all stood there, waiting, and I lowered my gun first—no…it wasn't going down like this. Sam was possessed and we needed to get the demon out of him and that was all there was to it. This wasn't going to go on any longer.

"No, Sammy. Come on." Dean told him, turning around and starting to walk away.

"What the Hell's wrong with you, Dean?" Sam asked as Annie lowered her gun slowly too and Sam came towards us. "Are you that scared of being alone that you'd rather let Jo die?"

Dean splashed him with Holy Water, and Sam cringed. "That's Holy Water, you demonic son of a bitch!"

Sam's eyes flashed black and then he jumped out of the window, Annie heading for the window first and foremost. I set to untying Jo as Dean followed Annie to the window and Jo looked at us all rather bewildered.

"He was possessed?" Jo asked, taking the gag out of her mouth and Dean turned to her as Annie and I followed him to the window, and then he jumped out of it. "Dean!"

"Dean, get back here!" I called after him. "Damn him! Why does he always do this to me?"

I knew he wanted to save Sam and I did too, but what in God's name was he _thinking_? He just took off after him, and…well Sam was his brother…how could I fault him for that? I couldn't—and there was my answer.

"Who is this?" Jo asked me.

I turned to her. "This is my little sister, Annie. Annie…this is Jo."

"Wow…I guess I wasn't expecting _you_ to be Jo." Annie said as she looked Jo up and down.

"What do you mean?" Jo asked as I pocketed the gun and went to the front door of the small saloon.

Annie laughed a little. "I mean she's been so jealous of you, and you're just so—just so not as impressive as I would have thought."

"Annie!" I told her harshly, turning to her and giving her a look.

"You weren't going to say it yourself, Lanni." Annie protested to me and then she turned back to Jo. "I mean sorry I'm coming off as a bitch, but all you did was get yourself tied up here."

"I didn't realize he was possessed! Not everyone has _your_ talents." Jo said, and looked at me as she grabbed her coat. "You were jealous of me?"

I sighed loudly and looked at the two of them as Annie asked me if Jo was really coming with us and Jo sent her a look. The two of them were going to end up killing each other before they ended up _helping_ me, so why take them with me? I could do this on my own—I could find Dean _without_ their help.

"Look, I can do this without either of you." I told them and then rubbed my temples. "But since I can't leave you two here without fear of you two ripping each other apart, you have to promise not to fight or I'll end you—both of you. I'm not playing favorites here."

They realized that I wasn't kidding, and that I was on edge, and just nodded and followed me out of the saloon. I tried calling Dean's phone while Annie and Jo called him by name out on the docks and then I heard it—his ringtone for me. I hurried in the direction of it faster than the other two, their footsteps pounding behind me, and I went over to him near the water.

"Where's Sam?" Dean asked us.

I took a breath. "We were looking for you, honestly."

I reached down to help him up, shooting Jo a look when she tried to help me, Annie getting in between us. I could help Dean up all on my own and even though they had helped, Jo and Annie had bickered a little and I was at my rope's end. We all went back to the saloon and I made Dean take his jacket off and roll up his sleeve since he was bleeding.

"Jo, do you have…thank you." I told her, smiling a little at her when she handed me the forceps and then handed Dean a bottle of scotch.

"Drink this." She said as he gave her a look.

He nodded and then his eyes rested on me as I looked the wound over. "He shot me."

"Yes, I can see that." I replied, smiling a little and meeting his eyes. "It's going to hurt so I suggest you drink the scotch like Jo told you to."

Dean put on a face like it was going to be nothing, and then when he groaned as I stuck the forceps in, Jo and Annie both told him to stop being a baby simultaneously. I bet you can put together for yourself how _that_ went over with them. Then when I pulled the bullet out Dean made another groan and drunk the scotch before looking at me.

"Are you done yet, Baby?" He asked me.

I rolled my eyes. "Getting the bullet out, yes—you need to be bandaged."

"She's right—you can't help Sam if you're bleeding to death." Jo told him and then she took a breath. "So…how did you know he was possessed?"

"I—_I_ didn't. I just knew that it couldn't be him. It was Annie and Lanni who figured it out really." He explained as I bandaged him.

She nodded at him and I glanced at her as I wrapped up his shoulder and then she looked at me and then Dean. It was like she was trying to figure out who to ask the next question to…and she had decided on Dean.

"Hey, Dean?" She asked him.

He looked at her. "Yeah?"

"I know demons lie, but do they ever tell the truth too?" She asked slowly.

"Yeah, sometimes I guess. Especially if they know it'll mess with your head." He explained to her. "Why do you ask?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter." She shook her head and changed the subject. "So do you have any idea where he's headed to next?"

"As far as we can tell he's going after the nearest hunter. The closest one we know of is in South Dakota." I told her, hoping we got to Bobby before Sam did.

Jo nodded and looked ready to go as I finished Dean's arm. "Okay, good, you're done patching him up so let's go."

"You're not coming." Dean scoffed at her.

Great, this was just what I needed—more people coming along and getting involved in this…more people looking to get hurt. Jo was like my family too—she and Ellen had accepted me and I couldn't get Jo hurt, or even worse, killed. So no…Jo was _not_ allowed to come with us—I was putting my foot down.

"Hell I'm not. I'm a part of this now." She told him as Annie started towards her and I put my hand in front of her to stop her.

"I can't say it more plain than this—you try and follow me, I'm going to tie you right back to that post and leave you here." Dean told her firmly. "This is my fight. I'm not getting your blood on my hands. That's just how it's going to be."

I nodded and squeezed his hand. "I couldn't have said it any plainer myself, Jo. I appreciate you, and I'm _real_ glad you want to help us, but…I can't let you get hurt, okay? Your mother would kill me."

"Wait." She said, grabbing a bottle of some painkillers and handing them out to Dean as we started to leave. "Here. Take these. They'll help with the pain."

"Thanks. I'll call you later, okay?" He told her, and the three of us began to leave as I heard her mutter, "No, you won't."

I felt bad leaving Jo there the way that we were, but at the same time I was glad that she was out of harm's way. Sure she knew where we were going, but after _Dean_ had told her to stay behind, that was that. She wasn't going to upset _him_…what the Hell did it matter what _I_ said in the matter? After all _I_ was the one that cared for her like a sister almost…but whatever…trust the guy she was pining for.

"I can't believe you let him get away." Dean told Annie and I and he sounded angry. "It only took one of you to find me."

I frowned at him. "Yeah, and let you bleed out all over the place."

"Lanni, it wasn't that bad and you know it." Dean said with a sigh. "I know part of you is jealous of the way Jo listens to me more than you—I can tell by the look on your face—and now is _not _the time for jealousy. Sam is _missing_."

"I was worried about _you_." I told him, whirling on him. "I had to make sure _you_ were all right, because believe it or not, I know for a fact you wouldn't shoot Sam, but the thing inside of him would have shot _you_! I wouldn't have been able to forgive myself if you had died while we were finding Sam. You know that Sam, though possessed, is fine!"

Dean turned to me as Annie continued walking, and got into the car—she didn't want to be a part of this fight. I was actually glad for that because I didn't know how much more of this I could handle if she tried to stand up for me.

"Lanni, I didn't…Baby—" He tried after trailing off.

I held up my hand. "Don't. I don't need to take this from you. We all know where he's headed, so just let's get there, all right?"

"Lanni, I know you were worried about me." He said as I walked towards the car and I stopped when he grabbed my hand. "I saw the look on your face when you thought I might be really hurt. I know that you didn't just let him get away, I'm just frustrated."

"I know, but I am too." I told him, keeping my back to him because I couldn't look him in the eye right then. "Everything is going to Hell."

Dean tugged on my hand. "I know. Hey…look at me."

I turned to him and couldn't help but smile sadly as he stroked my hair. I knew he was trying and I was thankful for that because I needed him right then…I needed to _not_ be fighting with him right then and we both knew it.

"Just…I'm sorry." He told me. "I shouldn't have said that about Sam. I'm just—I'm so not in the right frame of mind right now."

I nodded slowly. "I know…me too."

"Let's go and save Bobby, okay?" Dean asked me, and nodded as I did, kissing me softly and letting his lips linger there a moment. "We're going to get through this, Lanni."

xxxx

As we drove to Bobby's, Annie gave me a look from the back seat and I knew what it was—it was asking if I was alright. I really _wasn't_ all right, and if I didn't speak up soon, Dean was going to be upset with me and I didn't think I could handle that right now. We were patched back up and on edge, and I was gonna lose it the more I thought things over in my head.

"I need you to pull over." I told Dean as I felt my insides twisting. "Please."

Dean glanced at me. "Are you alright?"

"Dean, I know we're in a bit of a time crunch, but if you want to keep the inside of your car free from upchuck, I suggest you pull over." Annie explained, and I nodded.

Dean pulled the car over, and I got out of the passenger seat, going around the car and throwing up in the grass on the side of the road. Dean got out and held my hair for me, and it felt nice for him to run his fingers along my back as I heaved. Everything was so screwed up and the more I thought about the things, the more the _bad_ thoughts were running through my mind.

What if we got to Sam but it was too late? What if whatever was in Sam killed all of us and we couldn't stop it? What if this new family I was part of was suddenly just broken beyond repair? Then the worst thought of all: what if the going got rough and Annie went all out on Sam like she had done on Chelsea?

"You all right?" Dean asked as Annie handed me a napkin to wipe my mouth off with and then held up some gum.

I cried a little, and Dean pulled me to him, Annie resting her hand on my arm as Dean ran his fingers through my hair. Part of me was grossed out with myself for even putting Dean through that just now, but at the same time it was nice that he was here for me. No matter what happened…Dean was _always_ here for me…he was just simply my other half and I was just going to accept it.

"Everything is so screwed up right now." I said into his chest.

Dean nodded and kissed the top of my head. "I know, but I promise that once we get to Bobby's, everything will be all right."

"We can save Sammy, Lanni." Annie added.

I nodded and wiped away my tears, smiling a bit. "Let's go then—I've wasted enough of our time already."

Dean kissed my forehead and then pulled back, me swigging my mouth out with water and spitting out the window once I was back in the car. Then I put some gum in my mouth and we hurried to Bobby's. Once we go there, we saw that Bobby had Sam tied up in a chair, a devil's trap drawn on the ceiling.

"Is he unconscious?" I asked Bobby.

Bobby nodded at me. "I put holy water in his beer and then knocked him out."

"That was ingenious." Annie told him with some respect in her voice.

"Hey!" Dean said, hitting Sam to wake him up.

Sam looked up to see the Solomon ring, and sighed, looking at Dean. His eyes definitely had hollowness to them, and I just wanted Sam back. It wasn't fair that all of this shit happened to _us_…why to _us_? What was the big master plan? What was it?

"Dean. Back from the dead. Getting to be a regular thing for you, isn't it?" Sam mocked him. "Like a cockroach."

Dean smirked a little. "How about I smack that smart-ass right out of your mouth?"

"Careful now. You wouldn't want to bruise this fine packaging." Sam said happily.

"Oh, don't worry. This isn't going to hurt Sam much. You on the other hand…" He said, throwing holy water on him watching as he groaned and then Dean raised his voice. "Feel like talking now?"

"Sam's still my meat puppet." The demon explained, his black eyes shining. "I'll make him bite off his tongue."

I scoffed at that. "You won't be in him, long enough."

"Bobby." Dean told him, and we watched as Bobby began to speak Latin and the demon squirmed. "You see whatever bitch-boy plan you demons have cooking up? You're not getting Sam. You hear me? Cause I'm gonna kill every single last one of you first."

The demon laughed. "You really think this is what this is about? The Master plan? I don't give a rat's ass about the Master Plan."

We were all a little put off by that, but Dean nodded at Bobby, who continued to speak in Latin to exorcise the demon. The problem was, it didn't seem to be working and none of us knew why…why wasn't the black smoke leaving Sam? Another question I hadn't asked yet…how did Sam get possessed in the first place? When did it happen?

"Oops. Doesn't seem to be working. You see, I learned a few new tricks." Sam began to mutter Latin, and the lights flickered.

Dean swallowed but his voice was firm. "This isn't going like I planned."

"What's going on, Bobby?" Annie asked him.

"It's a binding link." Bobby said, checking Sam's arm. "It's like a lock. It's locked itself inside Sam's body.

"What the Hell do we do?" Dean asked hurriedly.

"I don't know." Bobby admitted, stepping away, and the ring broke, and Sam tossed Bobby, Dean, Annie and I across the room before breaking free.

Bobby hit glass, Annie hit a wall, Dean hit the nearest post, and I hit a bar that was sticking out, and it went through my abdomen. I let out a cry and leaned my head against the wall, biting my lip to stop from whimpering because I could do this. It was just a little bit of pain…just a little, I could handle this…

"You know when people want to describe the worst possible thing…they say it's like Hell?" Sam asked, grabbing Dean by the collar and punching him in the face. "Well there's a reason for that. You see Hell is like, uh…" He punched Dean again. "…well it's like Hell. Even for demons." He said, punching Dean again as I coughed and inhaled sharply. "It's a prison made of flesh and bone and blood and fear." He said, punching him again. "And you sent me back there."

I nodded, knowing now why it felt so familiar and yet not Sam. "Meg."

"Ugly bitch." Dean told her, a little worried I'd coughed the word out but not able to move from his position on the floor because of Sam's body holding him there, Meg controlling his every move.

"No, not anymore. Now I'm Sam." Sam said, punching Dean yet again. "By the way…" He added, gripping the shoulder Dean was shot in and pressing hard. "…I saw your Dad there. He says, 'Howdy'. All I had to hold on to was knowing that I would climb out someday, and torture you, nice and slow, like pulling the wings off an insect. But whatever I do to you, it's nothing compared to what you do to yourself, is it? I can see it in your eyes, Dean. You're worthless. You couldn't save your Dad, and deep down, you know you can't save your brother and little Lana over there is going to leave your sorry ass when you fail them all. They'd be better off without you."

Sam raised his hand to strike Dean one more time, but Bobby grabbed his hand as Annie lifted her head and coughed, conscious again, and Bobby seared the sign off of Sam's arm, the demon leaving him and going out through the fireplace. Sam's body fell to the ground as Annie and Bobby caught their breaths and I cringed. Then Sam began to move around after and he looked around, trying to piece together his surroundings.

"Sammy?" Dean asked from the ground as Bobby helped Annie up and she pulled the bar out of my stomach.

"Did I miss anything?" Sam asked us.

Dean punched Sam really hard and then he leaned on the ground as Bobby stood there with the hot poker. I dropped to my knees as Annie lifted up my shirt a little bit, and frowned, her eyes looking up to meet mine as Dean grunted my name and tried to sit up straighter.

"How is she?" Dean asked her.

Annie swallowed, her eyes locked on mine. "You need a doctor, Lanni…this is really bad."

"I'll survive." I told her, smiling a little. "It doesn't hurt as bad as it looks, I'm sure."

"If you want to make sure that bar didn't hit any vital organs, we _have_ to get you to a doctor." Annie explained.

Dean nodded and made his way over to me. "Lanni, listen to her."

I nodded slowly. "All right, Annie."

"You need help standing?" Annie asked me.

"Yeah." I admitted to her, starting to feel rather dizzy.

Annie helped me to stand and then got me to the car as everything started to spin and I groaned softly. In the time it took us to get to the car, the boys talked to Bobby a little and as they came out, I passed out from the loss of blood.

xxxx

When I came to, I sighed—it smelled like a hospital. There was the beeping of monitors, and the fresh, sterile scent, and I could hear someone else's breathing. My eyes fluttered open and I smiled at Annie as her face came into focus.

"Hey." I said softly.

Hey." She looked up from her magazine at the nearby table and smiled, coming over and sitting in the chair next to me. "I called Jen and she said I have to call her back every half hour to tell her how you're doing. She'd come but—"

"—Kevin's working and she has twins. I understand." I told her with a nod.

"I should get Dean." Annie said suddenly. "He's been pacing out there—he was _freaking_, Lanni…I really think that boy loves you more than he lets on."

I smiled at that notion and then reached out and grabbed her hand as she rose to leave. I wanted to see Dean, but I wanted to know how I was first so that when I saw Dean, I could talk to him about other things. Death was a subject I tried to steer clear of with him—I think that choice is for the best.

I smiled a little. "Before you get him, what's the diagnosis?"

"The doctor says that you'll be fine." Annie explained to me. "She says the bar didn't puncture any vital organs and that even though your uterus has healed nicely…you're still not conceiving."

"I kinda figured." I told her with a nod.

Annie kissed my hand. "I'm going to get Dean."

She kissed my forehead before she left, and I closed my eyes as she left, taking a deep breath. I hadn't expected anything to really change, but at the same time hearing the words hurt just as much this time, as the first time I'd been in a hospital and someone told them to me. My eyes opened when I heard the door moments later, and Dean came in and sat by my side.

Dean kissed my hand. "The doctor only wanted one person in with you, and I figured that with you and Annie being sisters—"

"—shut-up." I said lovingly and then I smiled and ran my thumb along his hand as he held mine. "How are you and Sam?"

Dean shrugged. "We're pretty good. I mean Sam is a little unnerved, but we're good."

"Good." I told him, and scooted over a little so that Dean could get on the bed with me.

Last time either of us were this close on a hospital bed, the roles had been reversed and I loved feeling his arms wrap around me. He kissed the top of my head and I snuggled against him, ignoring the slight pain I was feeling. The painkillers were doing wonders but at the same time, the dull pain was there.

"The Doctor said that we could check you out today." He told me softly.

I nodded slowly and smiled a little. "That would be nice."

He kissed my head again and his chest heaved. "I hate to see you like this."

"Baby, I'm fine." I said softly, pulling back enough to look into his eyes. "And the painkillers may not be working perfectly, but I'm fine."

Dean nodded, and then the doctor came in, followed by Sam and Annie, and I started to think about the last week. It had been completely nerve-wracking and even somewhat nauseating and I still had yet to tell Dean _any_ of the things that I wanted to tell him. I focused on the doctor though and after one last check-up, I was released and we all went to the closest motel.

"Sam and Annie went to get food?" I asked Dean, trying hard to stay composed.

Dean nodded slowly. "Yeah, but they'll be back soon."

"Dean?" I asked him.

"Yeah?" He answered.

"I don't want to lose you." I told him softly.

Dean looked me in the eye. "Lanni, you're not going to lose me."

How did he know that? He didn't! If there was _one_ thing the last hunts had taught me, it was that _anything_ could happen and we couldn't let it. I needed him, and I wanted to be _with_ him and he needed to know…this was my chance to explain myself to him.

"You don't know that, Dean." I told him softly. "You don't know what the future has in store for us. You don't know how much you mean to me. I want you to understand that you are my world—my rock. Ever since we met, I've had feelings for you even though for a little while I tried to deny it. I fell in love with you _completely_, and I've been here, and I'll always be here, and I know that you will always be here for me too, no matter what happens to us because I know that you love me, even though you don't want to say it all the time."

"Of course I'm going to be there for you and protect you, Lanni…I mean like you said, I love you." Dean told me, and he cocked his head to one side as I bit my lip, both of us standing there close to each other. "Where is this coming from, Lanni?"

"You saw what happened to Sam." I told him, fighting back tears. "That could easily happen to _any_ of us! Demons come into our life and they make our lives Hell! They maim and they kill, and they—"

"—Lanni…" Dean said, and pulled me to him, letting me compose myself again…letting me take deep breaths.

Just inhaling his scent was driving me over the edge and I had to keep going. I was just on overdrive right then and even though I was verbally vomiting all over him, it had to be done, and deep down he knew it too. This was just one more thing that he and I had to do and he had to let me finish my thoughts.

"I don't want to lose you." I repeated, looking up at him, and he wiped my tears away with his thumbs as he cupper my face. "I know this isn't the right time. I know that, and I should have done this a _long_ time ago."

"Done what, Lanni?" Dean asked me, still confused.

"Every moment I spend with you is a moment I cherish forever, Dean. When everything is all said and done all I can say is, 'I love you'." I explained to him with a soft shrug. "No matter what happens, the bad and the good—all I can say is, 'I love you', because I do, with every inch of me. This isn't coming from me because I'm hysterical—I promise you—this is coming from my heart…I love you, and I can't live without you."

"I love you too, Lanni." Dean assured me, taking my hands in his as they rested on his chest.

I nodded, wet my lips, and took a deep breath, looking him in the eye as he looked at me so fondly. I couldn't believe right then that I hadn't done this before, and when he smiled a little and cocked his head once again that was it—that was all I needed. I had all the courage to say the two words that needed to be said, and so I opened my mouth and I let them come out.

"Marry me."

**Note: Now I think you can see why this is my favorite one…and what a cliffhanger! There is definitely more to come and soon, I promise and hey, this one was only 21 pages! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	37. To Quit or Not to Quit

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**What a mean cliffhanger, right?**

**Well now it's time for a new chapter and it changes POVs a lot.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Dean hadn't said anything to me—not a word. He just stared at me dumb-founded and I knew what he was about to say: 'I can't'. The words were forming, I knew it, and then Annie came running in saying Jen was in the hospital, and Dean just…he seemed so distant now. People talk about how some relationships can end because people rush into things too soon, but I knew that couldn't be true for Dean and I—it just couldn't.

"What happened to Jen?" I asked Annie.

"Well, that's a long story, Lanni." Annie admitted to me. "All Kevin said was that it was a long story and he needed us at the hospital ASAP—and needed someone to look after the girls."

I nodded and looked at Sam. "You two up to going to Kansas again? I know it's a lot to ask but—"

"—It's fine, Lan. We're up to it." Sam assured me, and Dean nodded too so we all got into the car.

I couldn't believe that I had gone out on a limb and told Dean to marry me and he wasn't speaking to me now. What was up with that? He loved me, and I loved him and what the Hell was wrong with him? How come _I_ was more invested in this relationship than _he_ was? How was that even fair?

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I can't even tell you what was running through my mind exactly when the words came out of Lana's mouth. Part of me wanted to just blurt out 'yes'—God part of me wanted that to happen _so_ badly—but I knew I couldn't. This was just one of those things that I _couldn't_ give her and it ripped my heart apart to see that pained look in her eyes, but I just couldn't do this.

When I had first started to fall for her that same voice in the back my head said, "stop this before you get her killed and regret it forever" and I should have _listened_ to that voice. How could she want this? How could she want _me_? I was a womanizing bastard that liked alcohol and the thrills of the hunt—why would she want to be attached to _me_? Why had I given up the fight against this and let her in?

"What happened to Jen?" Lana asked Annie, all attention off of me.

When Annie had come running in telling us something was wrong with Jen part of me felt relieved—part of me felt disappointed. If I wasn't going to give her the answer she wanted than she deserved to hear _why_, right? I mean the woman in front of me had been through all of this with me…she was always by my side…she loved me…and God help me I loved her too…she deserved _so much more than __**me**_.

"Well, that's a long story, Lanni." Annie told Lana with a nod. "All Kevin said was that it was a long story and he needed us at the hospital ASAP—and needed someone to look after the girls."

Lana nodded and looked at Sam. "You two up to going to Kansas again? I know it's a lot to ask but—"

"—It's fine, Lan. We're up to it." Sam assured her.

How come she hadn't looked at me? Asked _me_? Had I really fucked things up between us _that_ badly? All I could do was just nod because she seemed to be at least waiting for a reaction of _some kind_ from me, and then she was off, out of the motel room and headed for the car. All I could do was follow her…my feet felt like lead, and my heart was pounding so hard…all I could think about was how much I could _not_ lose her…

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"What's with Dean?" Annie whispered, leaning over to me.

I sighed loudly and shook my head. "I'll tell you later, okay?"

She nodded, and we all sat in silence for a while until Dean turned on his rock music to calm him down. I leaned into the car seat and closed my eyes because as nice to know as it was that he needed to calm down, _why_ did he need to calm down? What was I _thinking_ proposing to him? Had I just put a wedge between us? For some reason, I felt the need to drink…a lot…I couldn't lose Dean…not now.

"You okay, Dean?" Sam asked, and then looked back at Annie and I. "You okay, Lan?"

"Something's up with them, but I don't know what." Annie told him.

Sam took a deep breath. "You guys want to talk about it?"

"No." Dean and I replied together, and I suddenly felt sick again.

"What happened when we left to get food?" Annie asked us, obviously not relenting here.

Dean made an annoyed noise. "Look, I like you and all, Annie, but Lana and I really don't want to talk about it."

I opened my eyes suddenly as the word set in. "You just called me 'Lana'."

"I guess I did." Dean said slowly and his face in the rearview mirror looked kind of sad about it.

I couldn't say anything else to him other than that, and so I shut my mouth and looked out the car window. I _knew_ I'd made a wedge between us now because every dynamic we once had was gone. What had I done? This was all my fault…how did I fix it?

"Well, whatever happened between you two was obviously really big." Sam told us.

"Sam!" Dean warned, raising his voice. "Do _not_ make me push you out of this car!"

I took a shaky breath. "Maybe everything we had was just for nothing."

"Damn-it, Lana!" Dean exclaimed, hitting the steering wheel as he drove. "I'm fucking in love with you! Can't you still see that?"

"Whoa…calm down." Annie told him. "I don't want you to crash this car with me inside."

"If you love me so goddamn much, then why didn't my question at least deserve acknowledgement?" I asked angrily.

I had thought about not going there but I wanted to be heard and I wanted _him_ to be heard if he needed or wanted to be. I mean what I had said was big, and it was life changing and he and I needed to discuss this. Annie and Sam had _no_ idea what was going on, but right now that didn't matter—only Dean and I did.

"Question? What question?" Sam asked very confused.

Annie's eyes widened as Dean and I shut our mouths. "You didn't, Lanni."

"She didn't what?" Sam asked Annie, looking at her after the words came out of her mouth.

"You didn't ask him to marry you." Annie finished looking directly at me.

Sam and Annie looked at each other and then Dean and I and then it seemed to all make sense to them. I had proposed and Dean had obviously turned me down because we were fighting—we were fighting and it wasn't helping anyone out at all.

"You make it sound like she shouldn't have." Dean muttered.

I scoffed. "Well it's not like it got me anywhere."

"You didn't answer her?" Sam asked Dean, and he sounded rather upset with him.

"Look, I thought we were supposed to be focusing on Jen in the hospital." Dean told us all, desperately wanting to change the subject.

I glanced from the window to Dean. "I can be worried sick about Jen _and_ be pissed at you all at once."

"She deserves an answer, Dean." Sam stressed to him.

"Sam, this is none of your goddamn business." Dean told him firmly.

Annie sighed loudly. "Look, we know it's not our business, but you guys' happiness is Sammy's and my first priority."

"I want to go to the airport." I said firmly. "Drop me off at the airport."

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I hadn't _meant_ to call Lana, 'Lana'—it had just slipped out. I couldn't do anything right anymore…that was really what it felt like. Couldn't she understand that I couldn't marry her and just let things go back to normal with us? I mean we were fine—we were perfect—until I realized _what_ she wanted from me.

I mean how could I _do_ that to her? Being married to me meant that all of my burdens were _hers_…that all of my _demons_ were _hers_…I couldn't do that. Lana had enough on her plate without _me_ adding to that. Maybe this was actually better this way…just let her be mad for a while and then try again…try things differently.

"Well, whatever happened between you two was obviously really big." Sam told us.

"Sam!" I warned, raising my voice involuntarily. "Do _not_ make me push you out of this car!"

Lana took a shaky breath. "Maybe everything we had was just for nothing."

"Damn-it, Lana!" I exclaimed, hitting the steering wheel as I drove, letting the words just spill out as they may. "I'm fucking in love with you! Can't you still see that?"

"Whoa…calm down." Annie told me. "I don't want you to crash this car with me inside."

"If you love me so goddamn much, then why didn't my question at least deserve acknowledgement?" Lana asked angrily.

I got why she was angry, I did, but why did we have to keep going over this like this? Of _course_ she deserved acknowledgement but why now? We were supposed to be getting to Jen and this was _mine_ and _Lana's_ personal business—Sam and Annie had no business being in it and that was just that.

"Question? What question?" Sam asked very confused.

Annie's eyes widened as Lana and I shut our mouths. "You didn't, Lanni."

"She didn't what?" Sam asked Annie, looking at her after the words came out of her mouth.

"You didn't ask him to marry you." Annie finished looking directly at Lana.

Sam and Annie looked at each other and then Lana and I and then it seemed to all make sense to them. Lana had proposed to me and they thought I had turned her down because we were fighting—we were fighting and it wasn't helping. Could this _really_ get any worse if it tried?

"You make it sound like she shouldn't have." I muttered.

Lana scoffed. "Well it's not like it got me anywhere."

"You didn't answer her?" Sam asked me, and it annoyed me how upset he was.

"Look, I thought we were supposed to be focusing on Jen in the hospital." I told them all, desperately wanting to change the subject.

Lana glanced from the window to me. "I can be worried sick about Jen _and_ be pissed at you all at once."

"She deserves an answer, Dean." Sam stressed to me.

"Sam, this is none of your goddamn business." I told him firmly.

Annie sighed loudly. "Look, we know it's not our business, but you guys' happiness is Sammy's and my first priority."

"I want to go to the airport." Lana said firmly. "Drop me off at the airport."

The words cut me like a knife and I didn't know how much more of this I could really take…did she want out of my life for good now? Please tell me that wasn't what she wanted now…I couldn't handle that and I knew it.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

The words had come out of my mouth before I could stop them and I really didn't know what to do about them. I just couldn't be in the car anymore with all of the tensions running high. Besides, Annie and Sam were trying to force Dean and me to talk to each other and _that_ wasn't going to end well.

"Lanni, you don't have to run from this." Annie told me.

"Annie's right, Lana…stay." Dean said softly.

I looked at him. "Stop calling me 'Lana'."

He seemed angry again. "It's your name, isn't it?"

"Yes it is, but you don't ever call me 'Lana' and I don't want you to start now!" I explained, my voice getting slightly angrier.

"At this moment, I can't do anything right by you, so I might as well stop talking." Dean replied suddenly.

I nodded at him. "I think that's a good idea."

"Guys…stop acting immature." Annie told us.

"This is really hurting Annie and I." Sam added with a nod. "Can't you two work this out?"

"Right now, our priority is Jen." Dean said finally.

"I couldn't have said it better myself." I agreed, and we were all silent the entire way to the hospital.

It was better that way—with none of us talking, no one would argue, and no one would get threatened. Dean and I had some time to think—and I knew that Sam and Annie did too—and that was good for us. After everything we were going through right now, and Jen being in trouble on top of that, we needed some quiet time. We all needed to get our wits about us, and when we got to the hospital, Kevin had the girls and I kissed them both and then Kevin on the cheek before I looked him the eye.

"What happened?" I asked him.

"Actually, that's the thing—I have no idea what happened." Kevin explained to me. "I came home from work and she was lying on the floor, the girls were in the play pen, and she was bruised. The doctors say she has a broken rib, and she's in a coma."

I bit my lip to keep the tears at bay because Kevin didn't need this—he had to be strong for his daughters. So I walked into Jen's room, trying very hard not to cry, but I was going to and I knew it. I took her hand and I kissed it, pausing when I heard footsteps enter the hospital room, hoping it was Dean but knowing that it wasn't—I knew what Dean's presence felt like and this wasn't Dean…it was Lance.

"Oh! If I had known you were going to be here, I would have brought you coffee." Lance told me, knowing it was me.

I turned around and looked at him. "What are you doing here?"

"Kevin called Karl and I, and we rushed over when we heard the news." Lance replied with a nod.

"Oh." I told him, and I smiled because it was nice to know he cared about Jen. "Well thank you for caring, Lance."

"No problem. We were all friends in High School." He said, and he smiled.

I nodded slowly and turned back to Jen, closing my eyes when I felt it—Dean coming. He entered the room and I glanced over at them, Lance smiling at him and holding out his hand. Dean just kind of looked at his hand and then looked up at Lance, Lance keeping his hand out just to annoy Dean and as hot as it should have been…it just wasn't and I wasn't in the mood for this.

"Who is this?" Dean asked coming into the room.

I sighed and shook my head. "Now is not the time, Dean."

"Oh, so this is the boyfriend." Lance smirked and then looked him over. "Thought he'd be more impressive."

"Wow…let's move this outside, all right?" I asked, shoving them both out into the hall.

Dean looked Lance in the eye. "You really don't want to mess with me today."

"I dunno, I think I could take you." Lance replied with a shrug.

"Lance, really, now is not the time." I told him.

Dean looked at him with new hatred. "Oh, so this is the ex-boyfriend?"

I couldn't stop what happened next—Dean was still so angry that he took his anger out on Lance, punching him hard in the face. When Lance recovered, he sung at Dean, his fist making contact with Dean's jaw, and then Sam and Annie got between them, Annie staring Dean down. Jen was in the hospital and they were _fighting_? What the Hell?

"You know what? You need to calm down." Annie told him.

"Why should _I_ calm down?" Dean asked her, looking at Lance who held up his hands in surrender as Sam gave him a look.

"Because you're in a hospital, Moron." Annie told him and when Dean held his hands up too, Annie let go of his jacket.

"I'm out of here." Dean told us, and looked at Annie, avoiding me. "Call me if there's any change—I want updates."

Annie nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"Damn-it, Lance. Why now of all times?" I asked angrily.

I took off out of the hospital, knowing I should be by Jen's side, but I would come back. I went to a bar really close to the hospital and I ordered several drinks, knowing I probably shouldn't, but at this point I didn't know what else to do. Dean hadn't answered me…_still_. He said he was in love with me, sure, but now he was just mad at everything and everyone…including me.

"Hit me again." I told the bartender, setting down my mug.

"Slow down, Lan. I know how you get when you get super drunk." Lance said and I groaned—way to find me then of all times.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

Normally when things were this bad, Jen would talk to me about what I was doing wrong—about what I needed to do to keep Lana. Jen couldn't do that right now and so I _wanted_ to be in the hospital but that would be awkward wouldn't it? I was friends with her sure, _and_ with Kevin…but that would just be weird.

I thought about going to a bar, but when I got drunk I got stupid and I couldn't have another waitress incident. So I just drove around for a little while and then went to pick up Sam and Annie, the three of us heading to Lana's house. After the whole incident with me having to borrow Jen's key to get in, Lana had one made for each of us and now we were in the house…and she wasn't there.

"Dean?" Sam asked me.

I ran my hand down my face as I stood at the doorway of Lana's bedroom. "Yeah?"

"I know technically it's none of my business but this is one of the things I was talking about before, Dean…this affects all of us." Sam explained slowly.

"I can't marry her, Sammy." I told him, nodding slowly. "I can't be what she wants me to be…I'm not good for her…I'm not good enough _for_ her."

Sam took a deep breath. "I think you are."

"How can you say that, Sam?" I asked him, turning to face him. "She's beautiful, and she's independent, and she was innocent before I _ruined_ her! I'm going to get her killed! I mean look at the times she's been in the hospital—the times I've had to watch her bleed or pass out!"

"Stop beating yourself up for _finally_ loving someone this much, Dean." Sam told me, and I swear he was feeling sorry for me. "Stop beating yourself up for _finally_ finding a reason to have a semblance of a normal life."

"We're _not_ normal, Sam!" I exclaimed and then I just shook my head and turned back around, looking into the room. "This is all my fault…I led her on."

_Jen and I weren't __**entirely**__ friends, but she had a habit of showing up and making me think things through. She was also __**incredibly**__ protective of Lana so I knew when she walked into the room that a talk was going to ensue. Lana was in the other room talking to Sam and it was just me and Jen…no buffer._

"_You need to let her know you're not going to leave her ass when a finer piece of one comes around." Jen told me without beating around the bush._

_I nodded at her. "Forward…I'm glad."_

"_Stop trying to be cute because __**I**__, don't think you're cute." Jen explained to me with a shrug. "Now the way I see it, you like her and she likes you, but she needs to know that you won't just run out on her."_

"_Lanni __**does**__ know that." I protested._

_Jen shook her head. "Just get her a promise ring Dean. I know it seems 'chick flicky' and kind of 'lame' but its not—it'll get through to her and save you getting dumped on your ass…so it's win-win, don't you think?"_

_I just chuckled a little and decided to nod because it sounded like it was a good enough idea. I mean I __**didn't **__want to be dumped on my ass so maybe I should take Jen's advice to heart. Besides, when someone lays it all out for you like that, how do you walk away from it? You don't…you just listen to them and heed the order._

"I never should have given her that promise ring." I told Sam, shaking my head again. "I made her believe that I was capable of commitment and I'm not—damn Jen for telling me to do it!"

Sam shook his head too. "Dean, you _are_ capable of commitment—Hell, Lan is the _longest_ and more _meaningful_ conversation that you have _ever_ had…and come on, you wouldn't want that relationship to end, would you?"

I thought about that—Sam was right. I had _never_ been with a woman as long as I had been with Lana and I had never felt this way about another woman before. Lana had broken through every barrier I'd ever had and I'd let it happen…so I had _wanted_ this. I couldn't deny any of that though—I wanted the relationship and most importantly, I wanted _her_…so how could I just let her walk away like this?

Sam nodded and left the room when I stopped talking, sure that he had gotten through to me, and I knew that there was only one thing left to do—wait for Lana to come home. If I tried to call her right now she would just ignore my call, so I got ready for bed and crawled into our bed…that was what Lana always affectionately called it and I never corrected her. Problem was…Lana didn't come home that night and I knew that wasn't a good sign.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I woke up the next morning and I remembered nothing—and I mean _very_ little…I had been more drunk the night before than I had the first time I'd gotten super drunk with Dean. My head hurt _really_ badly and I felt a familiar presence near me—an unwanted presence…oh great…I sucked at life.

"Oh God, please no." I whispered softly.

When I turned over to see Lance lying beside me though, I cringed, disgusted with myself. So this is what I resorted to when nothing was going my way? I went out, got _incredibly_ wasted and then slept with my ex boyfriend? I lifted up the covers, feeling even more disgusted with myself and I sighed loudly—why the Hell had he even taken advantage of me in the first place? Who the Hell was I becoming?

"Fuck my stupid life." I said to the ceiling, wanting to cry. "I vowed never to get drunk again, and now look at me."

"I'll take you up on that offer." Lance replied, and I hit him in the face as he turned over.

"Don't touch me again, Lance." I told him, putting my hands over my face. "I can't believe you did this—you _knew_ I was hurting and that I'm in a relationship and you took me home anyway!"

Lance sighed loudly. "You're right, and I shouldn't have…I was drunk too and I missed you, and none of that is an excuse."

"You're right…" I said and then I sighed. "In all honesty though, it isn't _entirely _your fault."

Lance opened his mouth to reply when my phone rang and I closed my eyes—it was Annie. What the Hell was I supposed to say to Annie? As I wondered about that a new though crossed my mind—what the Hell was I going to say to Dean? Great…I had become an ungrateful whore…God should just smite me now.

"Yeah?" I answered quickly.

"Where the Hell are you?" Annie asked me.

I sighed softly. "I'm out. What's wrong?"

"The doctors say Jen has to wake up today." Annie explained to me, my heart hurting. "Dean checked over the house and found some sulfur, so we think it's a demon infection—only not like the Croatoan thing, Sammy says."

"Damn." I said, rubbing my sore eyes.

"What's up?" Lance asked me.

I took a shaky breath. "Sulfur, demon infection, Jen is dying and we have to stop it now."

"Was that…Lance?" Annie asked cautiously in a whisper.

I didn't know how I was going to explain this other than just tell her the truth. The truth was that the night before I was completely broken and I turned to alcohol to solve my problems. Lance showed up, tried to get me to slow down, and then ended up drinking with me and we talked about High School and about our dabbles in Dark Magic and then we ended up at his place and we slept together. Truth be told I was pissed at him, and I was disgusted with myself, but he was still my friend…and it takes two to have sex so I couldn't _fully_ blame him.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…yeah it's Lance."

"Lanni, what the Hell are you doing with him? You just proposed to Dean." Annie protested and she was disappointed in me—not as disappointed as I was in myself.

"I didn't plan this, Annie! Lance and I got drunk, we slept together, I'm handling it, all right? I'll be there soon and _please_ don't tell anyone…that's _my_ job, all right?" I told her, laying it all out there on the table.

Annie sighed loudly. "Fine…just hurry, all right?"

I nodded and hung up the phone, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath before I got up and started to get dressed. Lance actually looked like he felt bad about what happened and that made me feel worse—he felt bad for taking advantage of a weak moment. He sat up, the covers around his lower half and he took a deep breath.

"How's Dean going to take this?" Lance asked me.

I shook my head. "I, uh…I really don't know…I kinda proposed to him yesterday."

"So you're engaged now?" Lance asked me.

I couldn't tell what that tone was in his voice but I knew it wasn't disgust. He was just curious and wanted to know the answer and I didn't really have one for him…I stopped and tried to find the right words, but some just spilled out of my mouth.

"Not exactly." I admitted to him.

Lance nodded slowly. "Oh, so you want to be with the man that won't even marry you?"

"Please don't say that like you know what makes me happy, Lance—I _know _that tone in your voice, all right?" I told him, pulling on my socks, the rest of my clothes on. "You don't know what makes me happy…not anymore."

"I know that, Lan-Bon. We've _both _changed a _lot _and I just…it's a lot to take in." Lance admitted to me.

I nodded because I knew that was true—Lance had proposed to _me _at graduation and I had turned him down. Everything had changed after my parents had been murdered, and had they not been…maybe things had been different for us…now we'd never know. Now he was hearing that _I _had proposed to someone else and gotten rejected just as he had and he wasn't rubbing it in my face—he _knew _how badly it hurt.

"Um…we'll talk later." I told him as I grabbed my coat.

He just nodded and I headed outside, cringing at the sunlight and what it was doing to my eyeballs. I toughed it through though, and got to the hospital all right, getting some coffee and going to Jen's floor. Sam was right there waiting and he looked me over, making a face and I started to panic—did he know?

"Wow…what happened to you?" Sam asked me.

I sipped my coffee, knowing my hair was fixed since I'd done that, and looked down at myself—the buttons were buttoned and the fly was zipped. Okay, so he _couldn't_ know I was on my walk of shame…wait, yeah he could—I was wearing the same outfit I had yesterday. God, I probably smelt like ass.

"You look super tired." Sam told me, reaching out and stroking my hair. "Were you drunk?"

"Lana wouldn't get drunk." Dean told him from behind me, but when he looked at me, he raised an eyebrow. "You went and got drunk last night?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…yeah, I did. So Annie said something about sulfur and a demon infection—do we have any new leads by any chance?"

"Sam thinks that it's a demon virus, Lanni. He thinks that Jen was infected by someone close to her, and I know who it is." Annie told me, joining the group.

"Who?" I asked her.

She took a deep breath. "Michael."

"What?" I said, thoroughly caught off guard.

She nodded and kept speaking. "But the problem is I'm going to have to summon him to us. He took off after visiting Jen yesterday."

"Michael as in old buddy, Michael?" I asked her.

"Come on, Lanni—wrap your head around it." Annie teased lovingly. "Sam and I know how to do the spell, and so we figured we'd leave you and Dean at the house with the girls, Kevin will stay here with Jen, and then Sam and I will go to the old warehouse and summon him."

I wasn't really glad that Sam and Annie were trying to throw Dean and me together with children, but at the same time I needed to talk to him. Our relationship—if we were still going to _have_ one after this—wouldn't work if I wasn't honest with him…if we weren't honest with each _other_. So…I just nodded even though Dean was shaking his head and it was breaking my heart.

"No." Dean said still shaking his head. "I'm tired of being left out of the spells."

"You know Ancient Greek?" Sam asked him.

"No." Dean admitted after a pause.

Sam nodded decidedly. "Then you're of no use to us, and you're spending the time with Lan and that's final."

Dean sent him a look, but he and I went back to Jen's house in silence and we went inside, Kevin smiling when he saw us. He needed to be by Jen's side—he _wanted_ to be there not because he was her husband, but because he _loved_ her. Now that Dean and I were there to take over, it gave Kevin the out to go and see the woman he loved.

"Thank God you're here. They're both actually still sleeping, but they'll be up in the next hour. Good luck." He told us, and headed out the door to the hospital.

Dean nodded and then turned to me. "You look like crap."

"Oh how I've missed the loving boyfriend banter." I said sarcastically and then I looked at him. "You do too."

I went into the living room and sat on the couch, looking at the coffee table as I heard a sigh. Soon Dean was sitting on the couch across from me and I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eye. I'd just ruined things between us even more and I wondered if we should even _be_ together…this was getting to be _far_ too hard.

"What happened to you last night?" He asked me slowly.

I avoided his eyes. "Things you won't like when I tell you."

"Oh really?" He asked and I knew he was raising his eyebrows.

"Okay, what I have to say is important and I need you to wait until I'm done speaking, all right?" I asked him, looking up and meeting his eyes.

He nodded at me. "Did you do drugs? Do you have an STD?"

I glared at him. "Dean, this is serious!"

"And those were both serious questions." He replied.

"Well if I _did_ have an STD, I would have gotten it from you." I told him.

He nodded slowly. "Touché."

I didn't really like where the conversation had headed because Dean had almost effectively avoided it by making jokes. It was his mechanism and I knew that but what I had to say _had_ to be said.

"Last night I went out and got myself really drunk because I'm really hurt that you never answered my proposal…that you rejected it." I explained to him. "Lance showed up, we got drunk together, and we slept together. I'm sorry, but I can't take it back and I'm starting to think that all of these signs lately mean that we should just give up now."

Dean nodded slowly and swallowed. "I forgive you."

"What?" I asked him.

"Come on, Lana—this isn't you and we both know it. Nothing like this _ever_ would have happened had I never taken advantage of you the first time." Dean explained to me and then he shrugged. "Besides, I slept with that waitress, so I guess this makes us even."

"Relationships shouldn't be about what makes us _even_." I told him, giving him a look and swallowing. "I'm sorry…this is all my fault."

Dean sighed loudly as I got up off of the couch and he followed me into the kitchen, watching me as I started to make coffee. We were both silent for a long while, both of us just standing there and avoiding eye contact. What had happened to us? We were fine until I jumped in and ruined all of it…maybe we _should_ just quit now.

"Look, Lana, I'm sorry that me not calling you 'Lanni' lately is getting to you, and I'm sorry that I haven't given you an answer yet, but I am still processing." Dean told me finally as I poured myself a cup of coffee and looked at the island counter. "I've never been in a relationship this deep before. I mean I've never felt like putting a guy to the ground for just _looking_ at a woman I'm involved with! I've never—God I've never felt this many feelings before all at once over a _woman_! I'm not just saying things when I say I'm in love with you—I really am in love with you! I mean yeah, I don't like throwing the word out there, but you know who I am and it's that alone that makes me wonder why you want me in the first place! I'm not worth it!"

"Of course you are!" I told him, looking at him as the tears came to my eyes. "Stop feeling bad for yourself and think about it this way: what kind of woman am I to fall in love with the man that you think you are that 'doesn't deserve me'?"

Dean sighed and looked at the counter. "I just…Lana, I don't think I can give you what you want and it's killing me, all right? I'm not the settling down type."

"I didn't _ask_ you to settle down, Dean. I asked you to _marry_ me. We'd still be hunting, I'd just be your wife instead of your girlfriend—it's a change of title." I said and then I just shook my head and sighed at the silence coming from him. "You know what? You can just forget I asked you in the first place."

"I don't _want_ to forget it." Dean admitted to me. "I just…I just need time, all right?"

I nodded slowly. "All right."

xxxx

Sam and Annie had summoned Michael, but he had gotten away and everyone was on edge about it. Dean kept saying that he should have gone with them to beat Michael's ass, and I just took all the information in. Annie and I worked really hard to find another way, and Annie had found the antidote, so we snuck it to Jen, who woke up and looked at us all from the hospital bed.

"What happened?" She asked us.

"Michael infected you with a demon virus—he wanted to see how witches like us would react—he works for the demon." Annie explained to her. "We actually have to go and talk to Jo about it since she figured it all out when I did."

Annie sounded really angry about it, and I wasn't too thrilled myself after how things had been left. I knew I had nothing to worry about, and Annie was my sister and I thought of Jo _like_ my sister, but it was ridiculous. Jo and Annie just did _not_ get along…and I was thinking maybe they just needed to duke it out…and if that happened I wasn't going to stop them.

Jen nodded slowly, the information sinking in. "Wow. Well it's nice to see you all."

I smiled and sat down next to her. "It's good to see you too, Jenny."

We talked to Jen for a bit before we went to Minnesota to see Jo, who didn't like that Annie and I were there again. The two of them were getting on my nerves and I was about to lock them both in a cage and sell tickets to the match—my money was on Annie even though I hated that Jo might potentially get hurt there. Annie and I had made Dean and Sam stay in the car, and Jo frowned.

"You brought her back." Jo told me.

I sighed loudly. "Jo…"

"Just shut-up." Annie said, stepping in for herself. "I was going to own up and thank you for helping to figure out what this whole demon virus was, but now you've really pissed me off."

"Annie…" I bean, but she held up a hand to silence me.

Jo scoffed at her. "Well it's not like you've been very nice to me."

Annie flexed her fingers as Jo came out from behind the counter and their eyes blazed. I couldn't even understand _why_ they hated each other so much? What was it about the other one that made them both so crazy? Oh well…this was how it went…

"I just told it like it was—you don't impress me. You're a skinny blonde girl, with really no backbone, and you're pining for my sister's man." Annie told her angrily.

Jo nodded slowly. "I respect Lana, but honestly as far as I can see, though he's in love with her and neither of you have anything to worry about because he's been taken hook, line and sinker, Lana doesn't own him."

I knew she was just doing that to piss Annie off because Jo knew she didn't stand a chance and she _didn't _want to encroach on my territory, but it drove Annie over the edge. Annie slugged Jo in the face, knocking her down on the ground and I stood there with my mouth gaping open—that was fast.

"Annie!" I reprimanded and though I had at first said I wouldn't get in the middle, I realized I didn't want _either_ of them to hurt so much.

"Damn that felt good." Anne told me.

I sighed and held out my hand for Jo to take it, but she got up on her own and punched Annie back, the force enough to make Annie's head move, but Annie was quick to hit her back. The two of them started to throw punches and at first I was stunned—they weren't fighting like immature little girls. Then when what was happening kicked in, I knew I had to do something to stop this.

"STOP!" I roared getting in between them.

Jo stared Annie down. "Who the Hell do you think you are, coming in here and hitting me? This is _my_ place!"

"I'm your worst nightmare." Annie replied, and used her powers to fling Jo back into the bar.

"All right, that's it." I said, pushing Annie out the door.

"I don't want to see her again." Jo told me, standing up and cringing.

I nodded at her. "I'm sorry, Jo—I really am. Hey…thanks for looking into this demon virus thing. You have any more information?"

"I know it's being perfected. I heard about the spray that Gordon had, and well…if Jen had even had another microgram of that stuff, she'd be dead." Jo explained to me.

"Then I guess I have to watch myself." I told her and then I looked at her, both of us making eye contact. "And take care of _yourself_, all right?"

Jo paused but she nodded, and I left the saloon and grabbed Annie by the arm, dragging her to the car. They needed to get all of their hostility out, but I felt responsible—Annie felt like she was defending me. I wanted her and Jo to get along…I couldn't handle anymore of this and I knew it.

"Whoa, what's going on?" Sam asked us when he saw Annie's face.

"I haul-ass punched Jo in her stupid face." Annie replied with a shrug. "She's fine she just seriously got on my nerves."

With that said, Annie got into the car and Sam shook his head, but smiled at the same time—Annie's spunk was one of the many amazing qualities she had that made her so loveable. I mean Sam didn't want them to fight, but the fact that Annie was so nonchalant about it like Dean just kind of seemed to spark his interest and I smiled a little.

"And you just let it all happen?" Dean asked me suddenly.

"I'm not as quick as Annie." I told him, shrugging. "I got Annie out of the place and then talked to Jo peacefully. It's not like this meeting was planned so Annie could goat her and have a go."

I caught Annie's face, which made me realize that it was in fact planned, and Dean shook his head as Sam got into the car. I honestly thought that we had been going to thank Jo because she deserved to be thanked but apparently not. That and Dean didn't apparently know me well enough to know that I _hadn't_ been in on this…that I _hadn't_ planned something like this.

"Let's just go." He told me, and I frowned.

"Right now I feel like I don't even know you." I whispered to myself.

**Note: Originally this chapter was going to be MUCH longer but uh…the chapter was reaching more than 50 pages so I split it up into two chapters instead. This one is 18 pages, the next is longer than that. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	38. Tall Tales and Answers

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**So here is the next chapter!**

**Man I'm just whipping them out, huh?**

**This one ALSO changed POVs a LOT.**

**Also, just for the record, Annie's part is the one based in truth and the 'present' POVs are all in Lana's POVs only the sides of the story are in the respective telling party's POV…it'll make sense as you read it.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

I wasn't talking to Dean. He and I were having a terrible disagreement about absolutely everything. Tensions were running high between us all, especially since this last case we were on was making us all stumped and antsy. None of us were happy with the others except I was happy with Sam and Annie, and Annie was happy with me. She was sitting on Dean's and my bed playing spider solitaire while I lay on the other side of the bed playing Bejeweled on my phone.

"Dude…you mind not eating those on my bed?" Sam asked Dean as he researched using books.

Dean reached down and grabbed some more of the food, putting it in his mouth. "No, I don't mind…how's the research going?"

I looked at him as he read his stupid tabloid magazine and wanted to say something, but changed my mind and looked back at my game. We had a pretty nice record of silent treatment and I thought that it should last just a little while longer.

"You know how it's going? Slow." Sam answered, slamming the book shut. "You know how it would go a heck of a lot faster? If I had my computer."

Dean sent him a look with a little smile, and then I sighed—I _hated_ it when they were at each other's throats. Still, I wasn't talking to Dean, so when he looked at me and gave me a look, I knew I wasn't going to answer him, and he knew it too but he tried anyway. I had to give him that—at least right now he was _trying_.

"What?" Dean asked me but when I ignored him and he sighed too, going back to his magazine.

"Annie has her computer, and she won't even let me use it!" Sam said exasperatedly.

"You know I don't like people touching my stuff, and it's not like I'm finding anything either." Annie said testily. "So stop bothering me about it!"

"Could you turn that down?" Sam asked Dean, trying to concentrate.

"Yeah, absolutely." Dean said, turning it up, making Annie and I turned to each other.

"You know what? Maybe uh, maybe you should just go somewhere for a while, huh?" Sam said over the music, and I threw a shoe at Dean.

Dean turned off the music. "Hey, I'd love to. That's a great idea. Unfortunately, my car is all screwed to Hell."

"Dean, I told you, I have nothing to do w—" Sam began, but a knock on the door stopped him.

We all looked at each other and then after a pause Annie spoke up and told Sam to get the 'goddamn door'. He sighed loudly at her and then got up, opening up the door to Bobby standing there. The boys had called him in for a consult because the boys were stumped…Annie and I had it figured out but we were waiting for them to get it on their own—served them right.

"Hey, Bobby." Sam greeted him.

"Hey boys." Bobby told them and then nodded at us. "Girls."

"Hey, Bobby." Dean told him slightly happier than before.

Annie and I kept playing our games but chorused, "Hi, Bobby."

Bobby came inside. "It's good to see you again so soon."

"Yeah, uh, thanks for coming." Sam replied.

"The boys have this whole case screwed to Hell." I said, and Dean smacked my leg lightly.

I made a face and Bobby swallowed—he knew he had walked into something he'd much rather walk _out_ on, but he was staying. He was as loyal as they came and since the boys had asked him for help, he was going to see this through and I truly loved him for that.

Sam motioned to the room. "Come on in."

"Thank God _you're_ here." Dean told him, shaking his hand.

"Yeah, I mean spending another hour alone with them wouldn't prove mutually beneficial for anyone." Annie explained. "Lana and I are pretty close to shanking them both."

"So, um, what is it you didn't want to talk to me on the phone about?" Bobby asked us.

"It's this job we're working." Sam chuckled. "We weren't sure you'd believe us."

"Well I can believe a lot." Bobby assured us.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's just that we've never seen anything like this before." Sam explained to him.

"Not even close." Dean added.

Yeah, _that_ was for sure. We needed to lay all of the facts out there on the table for Bobby and Annie and I were _more_ than willing to do that. Sam and Dean were _both_ getting on our nerves—well Sammy was never _really_ on mine—and we wanted this hunt to just be over and done with.

Annie nodded. "We thought we could use some fresh eyes."

"Well, why don't you begin at the beginning?" Bobby asked us.

"Yeah, all right. Please." Sam offered Bobby a seat at the end of the bed that Annie and I were sitting on and Bobby found some of Dean's food and made a face.

"Dean's a slob." I said, and looked up as he sent me a look.

"So…it all started when we caught word of an obit. You see, this professor took a swan dive from a fourth story window, only there's a legend that the building is haunted." Sam explained to him.

xx

**Sam's Side of the Story**

"Yeah, we both had the professor for 'Ethics and Morality'." This jock said, drinking some beer.

"So why do you think he did it?" I asked as Annie and Lana stood around listening.

"Who knows? He was tenured, had a wife and kid." The girl said. "His book is like a really huge deal. Then again, who's to say it was suicide?"

The guy looked at her. "Jen, come on."

It was a little weird that another girl was named 'Jen', but I wasn't letting it get in the way of my job. Dean was off doing God knew what, or hitting on God knew who since he and Lana were in a row, and Annie and Lana weren't working. They were standing off in a corner talking to each other.

"What else _could_ it be?" I asked them.

Jen leaned forward. "Well you know about Crawford Hall, right?"

"No, I don't actually." I told her, interested.

"It's a bunch of crap. It's a total urban legend." The guy said.

"Well Heather's mom went to school here and she knew the girl." Jen protested.

I raised my eyebrows. "Wait, what girl?"

Jen looked at me. "Like, 30 years ago, this girl was having an affair with her professor, he broke it off, and she jumped out the window and killed herself."

"You know her name?" I asked her.

This was definitely the kind of information that I needed—the kind of information that could turn this whole hunt around. It was just kind of annoying that I was doing this all by myself…I would have liked to have some help.

"No." She answered. "But they say she jumped from room 669. Get it? Turn the nine upside down…" The jock chuckled. "So now she haunts the building. And anyone who sees her…they don't live to tell the tale."

"Well, if no one lives to tell the tale, then how does the tale get told?" The guy asked.

Jen looked over at him. "Curtis, shut-up!"

"You know what? Uh, thanks a lot guys. Excuse me." I told them and Annie and Lana followed him over to the bar, where Dean was taking shots of something. "Dean. What are you—what are you drinking?"

"I don't know man. I think they're called purple nurples." Dean replied, chuckling a little.

What the Hell did he think he was doing? He had a girlfriend and he was over here taking shots while she hung out with her sister? Dean really needed to get his head out of his ass and stop pretending like he was supposed to be alone forever.

I nodded at him. "Well listen, I think maybe we should check out the professor's office."

"Oh, no, no, no. I can't right now because I've got a feisty little wildcat on the hook. I'm about to—ZZ!—reel her in." Dean chuckled. "Let me introduce you."

"D—" Annie began, but Dean turned around.

"Starla. Hey, Starla. This is my copilot Major Tom, and his sisters. Don't worry, he'd be the only one coming with us." Dean explained to her. "Major Tom—Starla."

The blonde chuckled drunkenly. "Enchante." She told him, hanging on Dean.

"Hi." Sam said, and Annie gave a flick of her wrist.

"Wow, and you'd think he couldn't snag anything lower than that demon chick he almost made a pact with—or that vampire even." Lana muttered under her breath.

I sighed a little because I _knew _this was going to hurt Lana but did she have to say it loud enough for everyone to hear? Starla started to back up a little, her hand to her mouth, and we all looked at her—never mind…she was _far_ too drunk to even care.

"Sorry," She said, smiling, "just trying to hold down my liquor."

"Yeah, Good job." Dean smiled, turning to Sam. "Listen, she's got a sister."

Starla hung on him again, and they smiled at us.

xx

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a minute." Dean intervened.

Sam looked at him. "What?"

"Come on dude, that's not how it happened." Dean protested to him.

"No?" Sam asked him with a scoffing laugh. "So…you never drank a purple nurple?"

"Well, maybe that, but I don't say things like 'Fiesty little Wildcat' and her name wasn't Starla." Dean told Sam firmly.

"Then what was it?" Sam asked him, Annie and I waiting for the answer too.

Dean paused and made a face. "I don't know, but she was a classy chick. She was a grad student, Anthropology and Folklore. We were talking about local ghost stories."

xx

**Dean's Side of the Story**

I looked at the blonde I was talking to, both of us holding our shots of purple nurples up and looking at each other. She was definitely attractive—better then the kind of skanks that you could pick up in a bar normally. This one was definitely classy, and I needed information out of her.

"Here's to—" She said.

"—here's to us." I replied, and we clinked glasses and took a drink.

"My God, you are attractive." She told me.

I nodded a little at that and a lot of thoughts ran through my mind—I was _trying_ to solve a case here. I didn't need her hitting on me like this but at the same time it would work in my favor…I _was_ after all an attractive scoundrel and Lana needed to know that.

"Thanks." I said, all dabunaire and suave-like. "But there's no time for that now. You need to tell me about this urban legend. Please. Lives are at stake."

"Sorry, I just—I can't even concentrate." She explained to me. "It's like staring…into the sun."

She slowly pulled me to her, her fingers running along my neck, and we kissed, only to be interrupted by Annie, Sam and Lana coming up behind us. Sam with his jacket over his shoulder, carrying a gay sort of aire about him, and Annie and Lana looking incredibly annoyed with me. What? I was working here.

"Dean, what do you think you're doing?" Sam asked, pursing his lips and giving me a look.

"Sam, please." I said, wiping off my lip with my thumb calmly. "If you wouldn't mind giving me five more minutes."

Lana scoffed at that. "With your little slut?"

"Dean, this is a very serious investigation." Sam cut in. "We don't have time for any of your blah blah blah blah. Blah blah-blah blah. Blah blah-blah-blah blah!"

I went back to kissing the girl while Sam continued because I had her right where I wanted her.

"Blah blah blah." Sam said, getting annoyed. "Blah!"

xx

"And _that's_ how it really happened?" Sam asked angrily as Dean shrugged. "I don't sound like that, Dean."

Dean answered immediately. "That's what you sound like to me."

"And I didn't call her a slut." I put in. "That's not how it went down."

"Oh really? Then how did it?" Dean asked me, giving me a look.

"Well first of all," I began shutting my phone, "Annie and I weren't just standing around doing nothing."

xx

**Lana's Side of the Story**

"I don't know about this legend this girl is talking about." Annie said as we listened to this other Jen talk about room 669.

I nodded at her. "Maybe our best hope is to go and look at the professor's office."

"Well that always _is_ our best hope, Lanni." Annie smiled and then she took a breath. "You okay?"

"I could use something to drink, but you know how alcohol and I are." I told her with a shrug.

Annie nodded slowly. "You're not friends."

I shook my head. "Not after the last drunken incident."

Annie understood that and I was thankful for that—honestly I didn't know how I'd get through this if Annie wasn't here with me. Dean and I weren't speaking because he was trying to prove to me that he wasn't the great guy I thought he was and it was getting ridiculous. Maybe if he pulled his head out of his ass long enough, he'd realize he was worth loving but whatever—I was letting him have this.

"Well, if no one lives to tell the tale, then how does the tale get told?" The guy asked.

"Curtis, shut-up!" Jen told him.

"You know what? Uh, thanks a lot guys. Excuse me." Sam told them and Annie and I followed him over to the bar, where Dean was taking shots of something.

"What the Hell is he doing?" Sam asked Annie and me.

I shrugged and shook my head. "Beats me."

"Hey guys." Dean said a blonde hanging on him.

He was trying to make me jealous and I knew that, and it was working. Who did he think he was? He was _my_ boyfriend and he was spending time drinking and hanging out with some bar skank instead of doing _his job_. It really made me think twice about quitting what we had.

"Hi." Sam told him. "Dean, what do you think you're doing?"

"We're just having a little fun." Dean replied.

"Yes, and we all know where fun takes you." I told him.

He shrugged at that. "We know where alcohol takes you."

"And who are you all?" The girl asked.

"Well, _I'm_ his girlfriend." I said, stepping towards him a little more. "And _you_ are?"

"I'm Hannah. I'm a grad student." She explained her arm still over Dean's shoulder like it hadn't mattered to her what I had _just_ said.

"Wow, and you'd think he couldn't snag anything lower than that demon chick he almost made a pact with—or that vampire even." I muttered under my breath, turning to Sam, and Annie hauled over and punched the girl in the face.

xx

"Wow, you three don't know how to tell the truth do you?" Annie asked, shutting her laptop. "This is getting ridiculous. I did not punch her in the face."

I sighed loudly. "All right, all right—that's true…I just wished you had."

"I told you she was classy." Dean told Sam.

"Classy, no, grad student, yes." I corrected him.

He looked at me. "You didn't care _that_ much."

"Guys! Shut-up!" Annie said. "This is what really happened, Bobby."

xx

**Annie's Side of the Story (And the truth)**

Lana and I were standing near Sam, listening to the conversation he was having with the jock and the girl, swaying a bit to the music to look inconspicuous. It was just another hunt and we were spending the time observing, letting Sam take the lead on the questions this time.

"Yeah, we both had the professor for 'Ethics and Morality'." This jock said, drinking some beer.

"So why do you think he did it?" Sam asked as Lana and I stood around listening.

"Who knows? He was tenured, had a wife and kid." The girl said. "His book is like a really huge deal. Then again, who's to say it was suicide?"

The jock looked at his friend. "Jen, come on."

"What else _could_ it be?" Sam asked them.

"Well you know about Crawford Hall, right?" Jen asked him.

"No, I don't actually." Sam told her, interested.

"It's a bunch of crap. It's a total urban legend." The jock said.

"Well Heather's mom went to school here and she knew the girl." Jen protested.

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Wait, what girl?"

Jen looked at Sam. "Like, 30 years ago, this girl was having an affair with her professor, he broke it off, and she jumped out the window and killed herself."

"You know her name?" Sam asked her.

"No." She answered. "But they say she jumped from room 669. Get it? Turn the nine upside down…"

That was pretty much where she lost me—no way in _Hell_ a building has _that_ many floors. She was just telling us some legend that had nothing to do with anything and now we were back at square one—great.

"I don't know about this legend this girl is talking about." I said as we listened to Jen talk about room 669.

Lana nodded at me. "Maybe our best hope is to go and look at the professor's office."

"Well that always _is_ our best hope, Lanni." I smiled at her and then I took a deep breath. "You okay?"

"I could use something to drink, but you know how alcohol and I are." Lana told me.

I nodded slowly. "You're not friends."

Lana shook her head. "Not after the last drunken incident."

"Curtis, shut-up!" Jen told him.

"You know what? Uh, thanks a lot guys. Excuse me." Sam told them and Lana and I followed him over to the bar, overhearing Dean's and the blonde's conversation.

"Here's to—" She said.

"—here's to us." Dean replied, and they clinked glasses and took a drink.

"My God, you are attractive." She told him once she'd drunk the shot down with ease—she'd obviously done this before.

"Thanks." He said, trying to be all debonaire and suave-like—it wasn't working for him. "But there's no time for that now. You need to tell me about this urban legend. Please. Lives are at stake."

"Sorry, I just—I can't even concentrate." She explained. "It's like…wow you're pretty."

She reached up and stroked his neck, pulling him in for a kiss and I felt the whole room go tense. Lana was _pissed _and at the same time she seemed like she was handling it rather well given the circumstances. I could have punched Dean in the face right then, but we were in a public place, and I could always make his life Hell later.

"Wow, and you'd think he couldn't snag anything lower than that demon chick he almost made a pact with—or that vampire even." Lana muttered under her breath. "She doesn't even know how to strings three words together coherently."

"Dean, what do you think you're doing?" Sam asked him, and he pulled away from the blonde, turning to see us, and smiling as she draped her arm over his shoulder.

Dean shrugged at him. "We're just having a little fun."

"Yes, and we all know where fun takes you." Lana told him.

He shrugged again. "We know where alcohol takes you."

"And who are you all?" The girl asked.

"Well, _I'm_ his girlfriend." Lana said, stepping towards him a little more. "And _you_ are?"

"I'm Hannah. I'm a grad student." She explained her arm still over Dean's shoulder like she hadn't heard what Lana said—did the bitch _want_ to get cut?

Lana nodded and smiled menacingly. "Yes, well I would like it very much if you would unhand my boyfriend and walk your little skinny ass over somewhere else."

"We all have work to do—go hit on someone else." I added, staring her down until she left.

xx

Bobby looked at us all. "Um…what is going on with you four?"

"Nothing." Sam told him, shaking his head. "It's nothing."

"Especially you two—they're stories were pretty damn compatible." Bobby explained, pointing between Annie and me. "Come on. You're bickering like an old married couple."

"No, see, married couples can get divorced." Dean explained to him.

I nodded at that. "And people who are dating can break up."

"Me and Him? We're like, uh, Siamese twins." Dean told Bobby, getting up to go over to the kitchen area.

"It's 'conjoined' twins!" Sam protested.

Dean nodded and sighed. "See what I mean?"

"Look, it's—we've just been on the road too long. Tight quarters, and all that. Don't worry about it." Sam told Bobby.

"Okay." Bobby answered with a small nod.

I knew he didn't _quite_ believe us, but he believed us enough and that was what mattered right now. Still, if Annie hadn't opened her mouth and gotten back at the subject that was _actually_ tearing us all apart, we would have been fine. She just wouldn't be Annie if she didn't try and fix everything by spilling everything.

"It's not like anyone's getting hitched or anything." Annie told him and I sighed and flopped back on the bed.

Bobby looked at her. "What? What has that got to do with anything?"

"Oh…well, see…" Dean began, but he trailed off.

"I asked him to marry me." I said with a shrug.

"Wow." Bobby replied nodding. "So I take it he didn't say yes?"

I sat up. "Fact of the matter is Dean doesn't think he deserves be loved _or _happy so _I _get to be miserable too. In fact I told him I would take it back and he said he had to think about it—he's not really thinking about a damn thing."

"Then he got all jiggy with that girl at the bar." Sam said with a nod.

"Yes, but she had gotten drunk and slept with her ex before that." Annie said, standing up for Dean which was weird. "Right after they were fighting about him not answering her so I think they both are just kind of…upset."

"Yeah, so um, anyway, we figured it might be a haunting, so we went to go check out the scene of the crime." Sam explained, getting back to the hunt at hand.

xx

**Sam's Side of the Story**

"So, how long have you been working here?" I asked the janitor.

"I've mopped these floors for six years." The janitor answered.

Annie raised an eyebrow. "That's a shitty job."

"There you go guys." The janitor told us, turning on the light to the professor's office and I pulled out my EMF radar. "What the Heck is that for?"

"Just finds the wires in the walls." I assured him.

"Ah. Well." The janitor said. "I'm not sure why you're wiring up this office. It won't do the professor much good."

I looked at him as Annie and Lana kind of stopped listening and started looking around the room. They were being observant while Dean and I talked to the janitor and I didn't mind that.

"Why's that?" Dean asked him.

"He's dead." He replied nonchalantly.

"Oh." I said.

"What happened?" Annie asked as Dean walked away from us.

"He went out that window, right there." The janitor explained, pointing to it.

I thought about that a moment and realized that this hunt was definitely interesting and I was kind of glad we had it. There were so many pieces to the puzzle and as long as the four of us could find it in us to focus, this would be a piece of cake.

"Yeah?" I asked, intrigued. "Were you working that night?"

The janitor nodded. "I was the one that found him."

"Did you see what happened?" Lana asked him.

"Nope. I just saw him come up here and…" He began.

"What?" I asked as Dean dipped into the candy.

"He wasn't alone." The janitor replied.

"Who was he with?" Dean asked, his cheeks bulging with candy.

xx

"Come on! I had one, maybe two!" Dean protested.

I laughed loudly. "He had four, and Annie and I were getting vibes, remember?"

"Just let me tell the story, okay?" Sam replied.

xx

**Back to Sam's Side of the Story**

"He was with a young lady." He janitor told us, Dean looking satisfied with his bulging cheeks. "I told the cops about her, but I guess they never found her."

"You saw this girl go in, huh? Did you ever see her come out?" I asked, Dean putting more candy in his already stuffed mouth.

The janitor thought about that a moment. "Now that you mention it, no."

"You ever see her before? Around?" Annie asked and Dean put yet _more_ candy in his mouth.

The janitor smirked. "Not her."

"What do you mean?" Dean asked with a full mouth, all of us giving him looks.

"Don't talk with your mouth full." I heard Lana whisper to him.

"I don't mean to cast aspersions on the dead, but, uh, Mr. Morality here? He brought a lot of girls up here." The janitor explained. "He got more ass than a toilet seat."

Dean laughed and hit me playfully as Annie and Lana smiled a bit, not finding it really as funny as Dean did.

xx

"It's not like we didn't laugh, Sam. The guy was funny." Annie protested.

I nodded quickly. "You're telling it almost as if we didn't understand it."

"Hey…" Sam said, and we decided to let him finish.

xx

**Back to Sam's Side of the Story**

"One more thing." I told him slowly. "This building—it only has four stories right?"

"Yeah." The janitor answered.

"So there wouldn't happen to be a room 669?" I asked.

The janitor shook his head. "No. Why do you ask?"

"I'm just curious." I replied with a shrug.

"Thanks." Lana told him in that polite, happy way she always did when we got the information that we needed.

"Sure." He said.

xxxx

"Well, no traces of EMF, that's for sure." I said as we got back to the motel and taking off his coat as Dean got the two of them beers and Annie grabbed her and Lana some Root Beer—Lana being particular about the drinking these days.

"And that room 669 is a load of crap." Dean added setting the toolbox on the table as Annie and Lana sat on the couch.

I took a breath. "So what do you think? The professor's just a jumper? The legend's just a legend?"

"I don't know, maybe uh—that girl the janitor described, that's pretty weird." Dean said, tossing his beer cap on the table.

"Yeah, I'll admit that." Annie said, opening her laptop.

"We ought to check out the history on the building." Dean and Lana said at once.

I smiled a little because they actually did that more than they let on—I just wished that Dean would realize he could have her. She had let him all the way and he'd even done the same with her and I just knew they fit…why couldn't Dean see it?

xx

"Get back to the story, Sam." Dean told him and I avoided looking at anyone.

Sam sighed loudly. "Yeah…fine."

xx

"See if any coed ganked herself there." Dean added.

"Yeah, you're right." I told him, getting my laptop and opening it up as Dean went into another room. "Dude, were you on my computer?"

Dean poked his head out. "No."

"Yeah, cause _that_ sounds convincing." Annie told him.

"Oh really? Cause it's frozen now. On—on ." I told him angrily.

Lana sent Dean a look. "Seriously?"

He just kind of stood there looking for something to say and then went back into the other room. It was really getting to me that Dean would just grab what was mine and use as he pleased—besides didn't he have a girlfriend? My brother had some sick habits.

"Dean…would you just—don't touch my stuff anymore, okay?" I asked him.

"Why don't you control your OCD?" Dean told me sticking his head out again and I sent him a look and then glanced over at Annie.

Lana shook her head. "Don't even ask."

"Annie? Can I see your computer?" I asked her anyway—what was the harm, right?

"No." Annie said looking at the computer screen. "I don't let anyone touch this."

"She yelled at me last time _I_ did." Lana replied, sipping the root beer.

"I really need to do some research." I told her.

I mean surely she could understand _that_ at least. We were on a hunt and I needed to make sure that all of our facts led up. Why couldn't she just let me borrow her damn laptop?

"Then unfreeze your computer." Annie replied with a nonchalant shrug. "I can look things up using technology, and you can do it the old fashioned way.

"Annie…please?" I tried again.

"No!" Annie yelled and I took a deep breath and nodded.

xx

"But did you dig up anything about the building? Or the suicidal coed?" Bobby asked as he and the boys moved around, Annie and I going back to our games.

Sam shook his head. "No. History's clean."

"Then it's not a haunting." Bobby said.

"Maybe not. To tell you the truth, we're not really sure." Dean told him.

Bobby looked at them. "What do you mean you're not sure?"

"Well…it's weird." Sam explained slowly.

"What's weird?" Bobby asked them cautiously.

I smiled a little because the next part _had_ been weird, but it was kind of the first thing that tipped Annie and me off. We were _very_ convinced after this that we knew what we were dealing with, but the boys still hadn't gotten to the same page as us yet…but with Bobby's help they'd get there—if they could behave for one damn second.

"This next part, we, uh, we didn't see it happen ourselves exactly, but uh, it's pretty friggin' weird, even for us." Dean told him.

"Curtis, the jock that had been talking to that girl who told us about room 669, was abducted by aliens." Annie explained, playing another game of solitaire.

Bobby looked at all four of us. "Aliens?"

"Yeah." Sam said with a nod.

"Aliens?" Bobby asked again, more forcefully.

"Yeah." Dean told him.

"Look, even if they _are_ real, they're sure as Hell not coming to Earth and swiping people." Bobby explained to us.

Dean nodded. "Hey, believe me, we know."

Aliens—the notion of them was actually kind of awesome to me, but that wasn't the point. The point was that this next part was _damn_ weird and yet so entertaining for me that it made me a rather sick human being.

"My whole life I've never found evidence of an honest-to-God abduction." Bobby told us. "It's all just cranks and pranks."

"Yeah, that's what we thought. But we figured we'd at least go talk to the guy." Sam said with another shrug.

"Can I take this one?" Annie asked aloud.

Bobby nodded at her. "Absolutely—you're the one that seems to be giving me the truth here."

xx

**Annie's Side of the Story**

We were sitting with Curtis in the bar, and we watched as he had three large shots in front of him, drinking one of them. He was _definitely_ frazzled and it was our job to get the truth out of him—I just hoped we could do it with _some_ kind of tact.

"You ought to give those purple nurples a shot." Dean said with a grin, the he chuckled as Sam cleared his throat and Lana shot him a look.

"What happened, Curtis?" Sam asked him.

Curtis looked up. "You won't believe me. No one does."

"Give us a chance." Lana said, resting my hands near his on the table.

If there was one thing that I'd learned about my sister in my time reconnecting with her, it was that when she wanted something, she got it. As long as she kept trying to show Curtis that she was on his side and willing to console him, he'd talk—he'd do anything she asked. If she gave him that smile of hers, he'd be putty in her hands—my sister was _awesome_.

"I do _not_ want this in the papers." Curtis told Sam.

"Off the record." I assured him.

"I, uh, I blacked out and uh…" Curtis began with a small nod. "I lost time, and when I woke up, I don't know where I was."

"Then what?" Sam asked, finally sitting down.

I glanced over at Sam for a second and then I looked back at Curtis who was telling us his story, but with difficulty. The poor jock was _definitely_ scarred and I felt pretty bad for him, but at the same time if I said I wasn't getting a _little_ enjoyment out of his story, I'd be a filthy liar.

"They did tests on me." Curtis replied, his voice cracking. "And, uh…" He took a shot of the second glass, then clearing his throat. "They, uh, they probed me."

Sam had to look away to hide a smile as he scratched his head, and Lana and I looked at him. I was _so_ afraid that I was going to lose it here—aliens and probing…oldest alien story in the book.

"They probed you?" Dean asked him finally.

"Yeah, they probed me. Again, a—and again, and—and again." He said and took the last shot. "And again and again and again and then they probed me one more time."

"Yikes." Dean said his face unbelieving and amazed and disturbed all at once.

Curtis nodded. "And that's not even the worst of it."

"How could it get any worse?" Dean asked him, a smile forming. "Some alien made you his bitch."

That could have been the most insensitive thing that Dean had said all day at that point and when we all looked at him he wiped the ridiculous smile off of his face. Then we looked back at Curtis, who decided that he could continue.

"They…they—they made me…slow dance." Curtis told us.

xx

"You guys are exaggerating again, huh?" Bobby asked.

"No." The four of us answered together.

Bobby nodded quickly. "Well then this frat boy's just nuts."

"We're not so sure." Dean replied.

xx

**Dean's Side of the Story**

"I'm telling you guys, this was made by a jet engine." Sam told us as we looked at the mark outside where Curtis had told us he had been abducted.

"You mean some saucer shaped jet engine?" I asked him skeptically.

Sam shrugged his shoulders. "What else could it be?"

"What the Hell?" I asked him.

"I don't know." Sam said, shaking his head.

"Seriously, dude, what the Hell?" I asked again.

"I don't know!" Sam answered testily.

Lana sighed softly. "First the haunting and now this."

"The timing alone makes you think it all has to be connected." Annie said, looking hard at the mark on the ground.

"You mean between the angry spirit and the sexed up E.T.? What kind of connection could there possibly be?" I asked her.

xx

"But what could we do? We kept on digging." Dean explained.

xx

**Back to Dean's Side of the Story**

"So you and this Curtis guy, you were in the same house?" Lana asked one of the frat boys we were trying to get information out of—leave it to Lana to turn on that smile and get everything…I kinda missed her.

xx

"Just 'kinda'?" I asked him.

Dean looked at me for the first time in a while. "Just let me finish, please."

xx

"Yeah." The guy answered her.

I nodded at him. "You heard what happened to him, right?"

"Yeah, he said it was aliens, but, you know, whatever." He told us with a shrug.

"Look man, I—I know this all has to be so hard." Sam began, the wind blowing his hair.

"Uh, not so much." The guy replied.

"But I want you to know that I'm here for you. You brave little soldier." Sam told him with a brave face as the guy looked at him funny. "I acknowledge your pain. Come here."

Sam went to wrap the kid in a hug and Annie, Lana and I all looked at each other—wow, really? I mean I knew that Sam was always identifying with the people we talked to, to make them feel safe or something, but what the Hell?

"What the Hell?" Annie asked in a whisper as the boy looked to us for help.

"You're too precious for this world." Sam said, looking at the sky and he squeezed the boy tight.

xx

"I never said that!" Sam protested earnestly

Dean shrugged at him. "You always say pansy stuff like that."

"Boys…come on now." Annie told them as Bobby looked at them funny.

xx

**Back to Dean's Side of the Story**

"Well, um…yeah, uh, thanks. Thanks for the hug, but, uh, I'm okay. Really." The boy said and Sam nodded and got off him, smiling, and patting his shoulder. "To tell you the truth, whatever happened to Curtis, he had it coming."

"Why's that?" Annie asked him curiously.

"He's our pledge master. He's put us through Hell this semester and he got off on it." He answered. "So now he knows how we feel."

"Mmm." Dean said, and looked at Sam's forlorn face. "It's okay."

xx

"Maybe it's time one of us took over." I told them.

"What?" Dean asked me.

I nodded at him. "Yeah—I think its time Bobby got a little more truth than fiction."

"I don't mind that." Bobby said. "Go ahead, Lana."

"Well, after we talked to Jimmy, we went back to the motel." I began with a nod.

xx

**Lana's Side of the Story**

"It still doesn't make a lick of sense." Dean said, coming into the room and taking off his jacket as Sam closed the door after Annie and I came in. "At least there's one connection."

"Between what?" Sam asked, going over to the bed.

"The victims." Dean replied, tossing his coat on the floor. "The professor and the frat boy—they were both dicks."

Sam gave him a look. "That's a connection?"

"You got anything better to go on? I'd love to hear it." Dean said as I sat down next to him and laid my head in his lap, smiling as he ran his fingers through my hair.

It didn't matter that we kept fighting, or that we hadn't been speaking to each other—this was something automatic for us. If I was close, Dean made me feel loved and it just proved to me even more that he could do this with me if he just _chose_ to.

"Where's my laptop?" Sam asked as Annie sat on the other bed.

"I don't know." Dean said testily and then he went back to the subject at hand. "I mean think about it. A philandering professor gets a dead girl. A pledge master gets hazed."

"I left it in here." Sam said, searching for it.

"You obviously didn't." Dean told him and then switched gears again. "I mean these punishments—they're almost poetic. Actually, it would be more like a limerick, but still—"

"Okay, hilarious, ha ha." Sam told him. "Where'd you hide it?"

I took a deep breath because here we went again—the two just couldn't stop being at each other's throats. I mean yeah, we were all on edge, but the boys just weren't keeping it together as well as Annie and I were…and Annie was researching—I knew that look on her face. I wondered what she was up to…

"What, your computer?" Dean asked him.

Sam nodded quickly. "Yeah, where'd you hide it?"

"Why would I take your computer?" Dean asked as I turned on my side and placed my face in Dean's stomach.

"No one else could have. We keep the doors locked. We never let any maids in. Lan and Annie wouldn't do it." Sam explained to him.

"Looks like you lost it, Poindexter." Dean told him, and it was silent for a moment.

"Damn…here we go again." I heard Annie say, and I heard her laptop lid close.

If there was one thing I'd learned about Annie this whole time, it was that she actually _liked_ watching Sam and Dean fight. It wasn't that she enjoyed their pain or anything, it was just that she was glad they had an outlet. If they kept it all bottled up, then in the long run it would be much, much worse.

"Dude, you know something? I put up with a lot from you!" Sam yelled at Dean.

"What are you talking about? I'm a joy to be around." Dean protested.

Sam scoffed at that. "Yeah? Your dirty socks in the sink, your food in the fridge!"

"What's wrong with my food?" Dean asked him.

"It's not food anymore, Dean! It's Darwinism!" Sam protested, and Annie laughed and I smiled—_no one_ could argue _that _one.

"I like it." Dean said with a shrug.

Sam was definitely _not_ finished here. "You know all I ask from you, is the one thing—don't mess with my stuff!"

"You done?" Dean asked him.

Sam sighed loudly. "You know, how would you feel if I screwed with the Impala?"

"It'd be the last thing you ever did." Dean replied.

"Can you just, relax, both of you?" I asked them.

"Coming from the girl who's been on edge ever since Minnesota the first time." Dean told me, still upset about everything but for some reason still running his fingers through my hair even when I changed my position so I could look at him.

I glared at him. "You need someone to knock some things into you."

xx

"Did you take his computer?" Bobby asked Dean, all of them at the table now while I sat on the couch and Annie played another solitaire game.

"Serves him right, but no." Dean told him.

"Well I didn't lose it!" Sam protested at him. "'Cause _I_ don't lose things."

Dean looked at him. "Oh, that's right, cause he's Mr. Perfect."

"Okay, okay." Bobby said wanting them to stop. "How do you two put up with this?"

God that was an _excellent_ question and though I knew it was because _I_ loved them more than life, I didn't know why _Annie_ put up with them. She didn't have to…then again she did _so_ many things for me…so it was probably just because _I_ did. I loved my sister…I loved her _so_ much that she didn't even know.

"God, I don't even know." Annie told him, getting up to get something out of the fridge.

Bobby nodded at her. "Why don't you guys just tell me what happened next?"

"There was one more victim." Dean explained to him.

"Right, now we didn't see this one ourselves, either. We kind of put it together from the evidence. But this guy—he was a research scientist. Animal testing." Sam admitted.

"Yeah, he was a dick." I said making a face. "Poor animals."

Dean nodded quickly. "And being a dick, he fit the pattern."

I took a breath. "The cops didn't say how de died because they didn't know themselves."

"So we checked it out ourselves." Annie added and I was glad she had taken over story telling again.

xx

**Annie's Side of the Story**

Getting into the morgue was harder than we thought it was going to be, but it had to be done. So we all climbed through a window and we opened up the door in the morgue to the body. Honestly this was my _least_ favorite part about the job—dead things creeped me out…like the dead bodies…body parts…blech.

"Well this oughta be quick." Dean said, his flashlight running over the tiny container and he took the sheets off and we all cringed and felt like gagging. "Okay, that is just nasty."

"Uh, yeah." Sam told him, trying not to throw up.

Lana made a face. "Mutilated?"

"Looks to me like something was hungry." I told her, proud that she remembered the police report from before but then again it was Lana—she was always helpful.

"They identify him yet?" Dean asked.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, a research professor. Guess where his office was."

"Hmm?" Dean inquired.

"Crawford Hall, just like the professor." Lana answered, glancing at him and then quickly glancing away.

Dean nodded at him. "That's right where the Frat Boy had his close encounter."

"Yeah." I replied with a nod.

Now don't get me wrong, I _adored_ the boys, but Dean was getting on my nerves. It wasn't his idiocrocy either—it was how he hurt Lana without even trying sometimes. If he was so in love with her, why couldn't he let himself be happy? Because in letting himself be miserable, he was making _her_ miserable too.

xx

"Okay—how come every story has something to do with Lana and I?" Dean asked suddernly.

I looked at him. "Because it's what had us all upset _before_ the hunt started."

Dean sighed. "Fine…Annie, continue."

xx

"Hey, uh, grab me that thing right there." Sam told Dean.

Dean looked at what Sam had found. "What is it?"

"It looks like a…a belly scale." Sam answered slowly.

"Like an alligator?" Lana asked in a tiny voice.

I looked at my sister—really? I thought she had gotten over this fear _years_ ago…besides it wasn't like the alligator was _here_.

"You still afraid of those things?" I asked her.

She shot me a look. "I was scarred at a very young age. It's called growing pains, a nightmare, and waking up after it eats you and not being able to move because you're in pain."

"An alligator in the sewer. Come on." Dean said reaching over to stroke Lana's hair because he knew she needed it, but he didn't want to acknowledge that by saying it because he was still trying to prove he was an ass she would be better without…it _wasn't_ working right then.

"Dean, it's a classic urban legend. A kid flushes a baby gator down the toilet and it grows huge in the sewer." Sam protested.

Dean nodded at him. "But no one's ever really found one. They're not real."

"Neither is alien abduction." I pointed out.

"But _something_ chomped on this guy." Sam told us. "And this is a scale."

Dean shook his head. "This couldn't get any weirder."

"Maybe we should get some help." I suggested to them. "Cause this isn't going anywhere."

"I'll call Bobby, maybe he's run into something like this before." Sam assured us.

Dean scoffed. "Oh, I'm sure he has. Just your typical haunted campus, alien abduction, alligator-in-the-sewer gig. Yeah, it's simple."

xx

"We decided to check the sewer anyway." Sam told Bobby. "So we split up—Annie and Dean took one side of the campus, and Lan and I took the other, but none of us were really happy to be teamed up like that…well except Lan and I cause we're not made at each other."

"You find anything?" Bobby asked us.

Dean nodded slowly. "Oh yeah, I found something, just not in the sewer."

"And let me tell you, it wasn't pretty." Annie said, sitting down on the couch with me.

xx

**Dean's Side of the Story**

Annie and I didn't find anything in the sewers, so we decided to go ahead and head back. There were a few times when she tried to get me to care and share about Lana but all I said was, "I love her, let's drop it, it's none of your business". She didn't like just taking that as an answer but she did, and she and I climbed out of the sewer and walked back to the motel, both of us seeing the Impala, all of the air out of the tires.

"Son of a bitch!" I cried, hurrying to the car and finding a wad of bills on the ground next to it, 'Sam' engraved on the metal holder. "Sam!"

How _dare_ he do this? It was my baby and I couldn't believe that he'd done this to get back at me for taking his computer when I hadn't! He was going to _pay_ for this and when Annie and I got into the room, Annie closed the door behind us, me looking directly at Sam who was reading, Lana playing some game on her phone.

"You think this is funny?" I asked angrily as Annie got onto the bed with Lana and turned on her laptop.

Sam looked at me. "It depends, what?"

I mouthed 'it depends, what?' angrily. "The car!"

"What about the car?" Sam asked me.

"You can't let the air out of the tires, you Idiot! You're gonna bend the rims!" I yelled.

Sam straightened up. "Whoa, wait a minute, I didn't go near your car."

"Oh yeah? Huh. Then, uh, how'd I find this?" I asked, holding up the wad of money, making Sam check his pockets and then stand up.

He looked at me like this was all _my_ fault but it wasn't—_he_ had hurt the Impala and I had proof. I told him earlier that it would be the last thing that he would ever do and I had meant it.

"Hey, give me back my money." Sam said, holding out his hand.

"Oh, no, no. Consider it reparations for, uh, emotional trauma." I told him.

"Yeah, very funny. Now give it back." Sam said, following me over to one of the beds.

"No." I replied, taking off my jacket and moving my hand away from him.

Sam was getting more and more upset. "Dean, I've had it up to here with you."

"Yeah? Right back at ya!" I said, and moved my hand again as Sam went for the money and then as Sam chuckled he went for it again and I pushed him, both of us starting to fight on the bed.

"Come on!" Sam said, wrestling me for it.

I was feeling uncomfortable. "Get off of me!"

"Give it back!" Sam cried as we wrestled and Lana and Annie just watched.

xx

"Okay, I've heard enough." Bobby said, waving his hands.

Dean nodded slowly. "Anyway, you showed up about an hour after that."

"I'm surprised at you two. I really am. And I'm surprised at you two for not stopping them." Bobby told Annie and me.

I shrugged at him. "Annie and I were actually really hoping that one of them would get a black eye—they stopped, isn't _that_ the important thing here?"

"Sam, first off, Dean did not steal your computer." Bobby told him.

"But I—" Sam began, but Bobby put his hand in Sam's face.

"Shh, shh, shh, shh." Bobby said and Dean gave Sam a triumphant look. "Dean, Sam did not touch your car."

Sam chuckled at that. "Yeah."

"And both of you should know that these two have had it figured out for a while." Bobby told them, motioning to Annie and I. "Why do you think they've been so calm, wanting you two to figure it out by yourselves? And if you'd both just pulled your heads out of your asses, it would have been pretty clear."

The boys glanced at us and Annie and I just shrugged because honestly…Aliens and Alligators? Annie had been researching this in more depth since we talked to Curtis. Sam and Dean were just too busy being at each other's throats to put it all together and since Dean was hurting me, I wasn't handing over any information—maybe that was a bad thing on my part, but now they'd know and we'd defeat it—win, win.

"What?" Dean asked him.

"What you're dealing with." Bobby explained and Sam and Dean nodded.

Sam took a breath. "Uh…"

"I got nothing." Dean told him.

"Me neither." Sam agreed.

Bobby took a deep breath. "You've got a trickster on your hands."

Dean snapped. "That's what I was thinking."

"What? No you didn't." Sam told him.

I smiled a little—good ol' Sam and Dean trying to one-up each other and not really succeeding in it. They were both so cute when they were confused that for a moment I forgot that I was annoyed with them for letting this get so out of hand between. On the other hand, Annie and I had just fueled the fire…no good on us for that.

"I got to tell you…you guys were the biggest clue." Bobby said with a nod.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

Annie laughed and shrugged. "Tricksters create chaos and mischief as easy as breathing. They're fabulous—and by that I mean terrible."

"And it's got you so turned around and at each other's throats that you can't think straight." Bobby added after giving Annie a really good 'Dad' look to get her to change her opinion.

Sam nodded. "The laptop."

"The tires." Dean added.

"It knows you're onto him, and it's been playing you like fiddles." Bobby told them as he nodded slowly.

"So what is it—spirit, demon, what?" Dean asked.

"More like demigods, really." I explained to him. "There' Loki in Scandinavia, Anansi in West Africa—there are dozens of them."

Bobby nodded at me and smiled—he was proud and I was glad that he was proud. Honestly, I enjoyed Bobby's company when I did get it, and I was glad that he was here…that the boys trusted him so much. Not to mention he was totally attractive for an older man, so no complaints here.

"They're immortal, and they can create things out of thin air—things as real as you and me." Bobby told them.

"You mean like an angry spirit, or an alligator or an alien?" Dean asked him.

Bobby nodded again. "The victims fit the M.O. too. Tricksters target the high and mighty, knock 'em down a peg, normally with a sense of humor."

"Deadly pranks and such." Annie added with a smile and then she wiped it off of her face when Bobby sent her another 'Dad' look.

"Bobby, what do these things look like?" Dean asked him slowly and I smiled—he was getting it.

"Well anything really, but human mostly." Bobby told him.

Dean nodded and it finally hit him. "And what human do we know of that's been ground zero this whole time?"

Sam processed it. "The janitor."

xxxx

Annie and I let the boys go in and we talked to Bobby for a bit the next day because it was where _we_ wanted to be. He was happy to hear us and to give us advice and I needed that—everything seemed to be going to Hell these days. Besides, it was nice to know that someone was on my side whether I needed them there or not.

"Why did you girls just let them keep going?" Bobby asked us.

I shrugged as I drank my coffee. "I've been annoyed. I mean I _know_ it's no excuse but…I just wish he'd stop trying to prove to me that he's not worth it, because I think he is…after all of this, I _still think he is_."

"You're definitely the girl for him." Bobby told me with a small smile. "I heard about Jen—is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's great, and the kids too." I added with a smile. "Kevin's good and…I finally feel like Jen's going to have a good life."

Bobby nodded at that and then he took a breath. "Look, don't let Dean get you down, Lan. This is new and deep for him, but I can tell he loves you—even when he's mad at you he looks at you with care and concern…and love."

"Thanks for that, Bobby." I told him with a smile.

I reached over and I squeezed his hand, knowing that he was always going to be here for me and I needed that. I didn't have parents anymore, and he treated Annie and me like we were his daughters. He was perfect…I _really_ liked having him around.

"And you, Annie. Wow. I've heard so much about you now." Bobby told her.

"From who?" She asked him, feeling a little proud of her reputation she didn't know.

"Ellen, Sam, Dean, a bit from Jo." He explained with a shrug.

Annie laughed at that. "Well I bet Jo said I'm not really all that cool."

Bobby shrugged and smiled a little. "Jo and you are opposites, though you both have a bit of that headstrong streak."

Annie nodded. "Well that streak runs in my family."

"Sure does." I agreed with a grin, still holding Bobby's hand.

Annie and I talked to Bobby for a bit before it got dark and we decided to go and see how the boys were doing. It was pretty much time for us to put our plan into action, and I was really hoping that this was the last of it…I wanted to move on from here. After talking to Bobby I realized that Dean and I _really_ needed to talk…and I needed to understand him more. He was Dean Winchester—I knew about his fear of commitment from the get-go and I couldn't do this to him…I couldn't push him away any more. He and I were going to work through our problems together and we were going to figure out where to go from here _together_.

"Just follow the plan." Bobby reminded me.

I nodded slowly. "We will. Annie and I are good at the taking out of demons part."

Bobby followed Annie and me into the building and we saw Sam there, placed just where he needed to be. They had argued outside already and Dean had gone in already and I wondered where he was. Why in the world would I let him do this on his own again?

"Where the Hell is Dean?" I asked him.

"I think he's in the auditorium." Sam informed me.

I heard some music playing and I raised an eyebrow. "These things can conjure things for pleasure, right?"

"Yeah." Bobby told me.

I laughed a little and shook my head. "Screw it, I'm going in."

I went inside even though the others told me not to, and saw the janitor appear in the chair and Dean talking to two scantily clad women. Yeah, because _this_ was making me want to stick to my more mature way of dealing with things…I don't think so.

"Trust me, Sugar, it's gonna feel real." The brunette said.

Dean gasped and I threw up in my mouth a little—really? The Trickster had conjured up these two bimbos for my man to use for his own sick, pleasurable amusement? Yeah, I didn't think I could let this continue.

"Come on, let us give you a massage." The blonde told him.

"Wha—" Dean stuttered. "You know, I'm a—I'm a—I'm a sucker for a happy ending, I really am. But, uh, I—I'm gonna have to pass." He told them, clapping his hands together.

I scoffed and Dean's whole body tensed. "This just makes everything so much better."

"I passed on the option." Dean told me when I came to stand next to him.

"But you thought about it." I reminded him.

Dean gave me a look. "Hey, I didn't sleep with my ex…this year."

"I don't think you're allowed to bring that up when you forgave me—I believe it 'made us even', remember?" I asked him.

"Wow…you two bicker like an old married couple." The janitor told us.

It was bad enough that I had asked Dean and he had turned me down—now the _Trickster_ had to go and joke about this? I mean I knew it was just an expression but come on! Why? I was going to stake him…

"Well that's good considering we're going to be one." Dean said before I could say anything.

I was _completely_ caught off guard by that. "What?"

"That means 'yes'." He told me.

"Well isn't that sweet?" The Trickster said. "You know I know what you guys and your siblings do. I've been around a while—I've run into your kind before."

Dean nodded slowly. "Well, then you know I can't just keep letting you hurt people."

"Come on!" He said, leaning his head back on the chair. "Those people got what was coming to them. Hoisted on their own petards. But you, Lana, Annie and Sam—I like you. I do. So treat yourself, long as you want. Long enough for me to move on to the next town—Lana, I could even conjure you up something if you like."

I blushed a little and then waved it off, shaking my head and coughing when Dean gave me a look and raised his eyebrows. He'd just accepted my proposal—which we would _also_ have to talk about because way to make this proposal something to remember—and I was all _actually contemplating_ letting the Trickster do something for me.

"What?" I asked Dean, shrugging a little. "I passed on the option."

Dean gave me a look and then turned to the Trickster and made a face. "Yeah, _we_ can't let you do that."

"I don't want to hurt you." He said, eating some candy. "But you know that I can."

"I gotta tell you man, I dig your style, all right? I," Dean said, turning to the girls and cringing a little when I smacked his arm, "I do. And the, uh, slow dancing alien?"

We all chuckled and bit at that, the janitor more than Dean and I but it was definitely funny. I mean the fact that he came up with that in the first place said more for him than it probably should have…

"One of my personal favorites." The janitor told us.

Dean nodded, still smiling. "Yeah, but uh, I can't let you go."

"That's too bad. Like I said, I like you. Sam was right. You shouldn't have come alone…well just with Lana as accidental back-up." He told him.

"Well, you're right about me not coming alone." Dean told him, and Bobby, Annie and Sam came in armed with stakes, the Trickster knowing it was all a trick.

"You wanna see a real trick?" He asked us, and out of nowhere came a chainsaw man, and Sam ducked out of his way, the thing going after him.

Annie, Sam, Bobby and I went after the chainsaw guy—let's face it, I wasn't about to let my little sister get chopped up into tiny pieces—while Dean got beaten up by the women. I then turned to see Annie going after the Trickster on her own, but he flung us across the room with a look and then Dean was tossed into a chair. He was there at the Trickster's feet and I was cringing again—I _hated _being thrown _into _things…

"Dean…Dean, Dean, Dean." The Trickster said. "I did _not_ want to have to do this."

"Me neither." Dean told him, stabbing the stake into him.

It seemed to have worked because he made a face of pain, and then his apparitions went away, and he fell into the chair and lay there. I knew he had to go but he had been kind of fun—definitely more entertaining than other demons and ghosts we had to run into.

"You guys okay?" Dean asked, wiping the blood off before I looked him over, taking a hold of his jacket.

"Yeah." Sam said slowly. "I guess.

"All I gotta say…he had style." Dean smiled, and then limped off a bit.

We all followed him, desperate to get out of here and move on because our job was done and we didn't want to get busted for murder. Someone was going to find him eventually…even though something didn't quite feel right…something was off…what was going on here?

"Hey Bobby, thanks a lot we really—" Sam was saying.

"—hey, save it. Let's just get the Hell out of dodge before somebody finds that body." Bobby told him as I looked at the building, my eyebrows raised, everyone else hurrying to the car.

Annie took my hand. "Come on, Lanni—I know, we'll talk about it later."

"Hey, Dean, um…I just want to say I'm, uh…" Sam said, leaning on the car as I nodded at Annie and followed her to the Impala. "Um…"

"Hey…me too." Dean replied and I smiled because they were so cute when they were 'apologizing' to each other.

I took a hold of Dean's jacket and looked him in the eye, glad they softened a little as he looked at me. He'd said 'yes' but had he _really_ meant it? We had been through a _lot_, and I was kind of wondering how we were going to survive this.

"You kind of deserved to be beaten up by those sluts." I said, and Dean frowned.

"I say 'yes' and you still say that?" He asked me.

I shrugged a little. "You're the one that thought about taking them up on the offer and though I thought about the offer of my own too, I just—did you mean it?"

"Lanni?" Dean asked me.

"What? _That_ doesn't answer my questions—that's just my name! I mean were you just saying 'yes' because it came to you in a moment of panic when he said we bickered like an old married couple, or did you actually _mean_ 'yes'? Because I don't know how much more of this that I—" I rambled but soon Dean's lips were pressed to mine and I felt like I had my answer, so I kissed him back.

"Sometimes, you need to shut-up." He said lovingly with a smile. "I _meant_ it."

"You owe me," I told him, running my finger down his torso to his pant line, "a lot for everything you've put me through."

Dean smirked at me. "Don't worry about that. We'll just kick Sam, Annie and Bobby out so we can better discuss this new situation."

"If you two are done being vulgar…" Annie said, motioning to the car.

"You guys are breaking my heart, can we please just leave?" Bobby asked, popping his head out and then getting back in, Annie and I getting in too after I stole one more kiss from Dean and Sam and Dean followed suit, and we drove off, leaving this place behind us…for now.

**Note: And there you have it! It took him a while to get there, but Dean made the decision that he wanted and it only took 34 more pages from the last chapter. Who wants a fluffy chapter? Feedback is always appreciated!**


	39. Buried Alive

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay so here is a chapter and it has **_**some**_** fluff but uh…not a lot.**

**I'm a big meanie.**

**This is NOT the sad chapter I keep eluding to, but this IS an emotionally charged chapter, all right?**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

"So you guys can stay here for now, but um…I'd really like it if Sam and Dean stayed in this room, and Lana and Annie stayed in this room. No crossing over." Bobby said awkwardly. "I get that you two are engaged now, and in love, but the walls are thin and seriously…no."

I nodded and smiled. "That's fine, Bobby. Dean and I _completely_ understand."

"Congratulations by the way." Bobby told us.

"Thanks, Bobby." I replied, and Sam and Dean went into their room, Annie going into hers while I pulled out my phone and called Jen, smiling when she picked up. "Hey!"

I had just gotten engaged officially and since Annie, Sam and Bobby had been there firsthand, this was how it was going—I had to tell my best friend. She _had_ to know, and she _had_ to be the _first_ one that I told because she was part of my life—a _huge_ part of my life. I wanted her to know, and I wanted her to hear how excited I was to be getting married to Dean Winchester, love of my young life…wow…_that_ was kinda mushy…

"Hi! You sound excited." Jen replied, laughing a little.

"Well I should be." I told her.

"How so?" She asked me.

I took a breath. "Well, I asked Dean to marry me."

"Wow. I wouldn't—wow." She replied and then laughed a little again. "Since you're so happy, I guess that means he said 'yes'."

"It really, really does. I'm engaged now, Jenny." I told her and then paused. "Wow…that feels kind of weird to say, but weird in a really _good_ way."

Honestly I didn't think I could hide my pleasure if I _tried_ to and that was saying something. I was _so_ excited about this, and I was wondering if Dean was as happy about it as I was. I mean things never really went our way, but this would bring us even closer together as far as I was concerned. I mean he was mine and I was his, and this was just a change of title…it was my way to _prove_ to him that I did in fact belong to him in a sense…and I hoped he was glad about that.

"I'm really happy for you, Lan!" Jen exclaimed and I could tell by her tone that she was. "I have to tell you, I didn't think that it would happen, but since it did, I'm happy for you…I'm mean you've always wanted to get married some day."

"Well, Dean is definitely one of those men that you would never think to be a man to get married but uh…yeah." I admitted with a nod. "I love him, and he loves me, and after a bit of arguing and what-not, he said 'yes'. That's all that matters, right?"

Jen laughed and I knew she was smiling. "That's all that matters. So I guess the four of you are doing peachy, then?"

"We're okay. I think we've all pretty much made-up, but I dunno." I admitted to her.

I knew that the four of us had our differences—we had a _lot_ of differences—but at the same time we got along. We were made up, but things were weird, there were still mysteries to go about figuring out and I mean…we were okay. We weren't _perfect_…but we were good…I really thought we were good.

"Well, I know you really want to celebrate with Dean and everything, but I caught wind of a hunt in your area." Jen explained to me.

I nodded slowly. "Sounds like a plan I guess. How dire is it?"

Jen laughed at that and I _knew_ she was shaking her head at me. "There have only been three deaths in the span of the last couple months, and though at first I thought I was finding a pattern, I haven't done that yet, and I haven't had a lot of time to look into it, but I figured that since you have Annie now, you could handle it."

"We can handle it." I assured her.

I smiled even more as I felt familiar arms wrap me in a fond and loving embrace, and I leaned into Dean, his nose nuzzling my neck. He didn't understand how happy I was that we were _not_ fighting anymore and that we were back to our cute moments. They weren't moments _he_ took pride in, I didn't think, but I _loved_ them, and I _loved_ this, and I _loved_ him.

"Tell Jen I say 'hi'." Dean told me, his lips brushing across my neck as he spoke, which made me smile.

"Tell him I say 'hi' back and 'congratulations'." Jen told me, having heard him through the phone.

"She says 'hi' and 'congratulations'." I replied, and smirked as he nibbled on my neck a little and nodded against me.

When I giggled a little as Dean tickled me and nibbled on me at the same time, Jen laughed. It was nice that he was being so cute and close to me but at the same time, _I_ had called _Jen_, and needed to get back to her.

"I will let you two go and be intimate for a while. Call me later and we'll hammer out the details, okay?" Jen told me. "I need to know when the wedding is and everything."

I nodded at her. "I'll call soon. I love you and Kevin and Kaydee and Minah."

"I love the lot of you too. Bye, Lan." Jen replied.

"Toodles." I answered, and shut the phone, turning to Dean and kissing him gently. "I can't believe we're getting married, Dean…well I mean not right now, but…what made you change your mind?"

Dean rested his forehead on mine. "I don't want to lose you, and…when I was thinking about it I realized that I kinda liked thinking of you as my wife."

"You know," I told him, running my finger down his torso to the waistline of his pants, "a little more romance and mush could get you a naked me in the backseat of the Impala right now—just saying."

Dean smiled at that. "Really? Well did I mention that I like the way Alana Rose Winchester sounds?"

"Sorry to ruin a moment here, but…I have a hunt for you." Lance told us.

Dean and I both stopped touching each other, turning to Lace and clearing our throats. We had thought that we were in the hall by ourselves able to flirt and say potentially dirty things to each other all on our own but, uh…not so much. Apparently there was a hunt to do and Lance had brought it to us so we had to pay attention to him.

"I'm sorry—we didn't know Bobby had let you in." I told him, blushing and running my fingers through my hair. "What is this case?"

Lance nodded at me. "Well, there have been three deaths. All of the people unrelated—"

"—all of them killed by a ghost haunting the building." I finished for him.

"Yeah, figures Jen told you about it already." Lance told me with a chuckle.

I nodded and then realized that this was a _very _awkward situation and I wondered why Jen did it. I mean I get that she thought we could use an extra hand just in case, but why send _Lance _of all people after what Dean and I had been through. Also, how did Lance know that…no, never mind…just because _I _never used any of _my_ magic like _ever_, didn't mean that Lance didn't use his…he could have found out on his own.

"Did Jen send you?" Dean asked Lance and though he was upset Lance had showed up and Bobby had let him in but not being a jerk about it.

Lance shook his head. "No, I caught wind of it and I thought it was something that Lan-Bon should check in on."

"Why?" I asked him and then I nodded slowly. "That might be why Jen told me she was going to talk to me later about the details…do you know who or what is killing these people, Lance?"

"Hey, Lance, why don't you let Sam here take you into the kitchen for something to drink and I'm going to talk to Lanni over here." Dean said, as Sam and Annie showed up behind Dean and me and then he took my hand and dragged me into mine and Annie's room at Bobby's for a moment as Annie went to greet Lance.

The look on his face was _definitely_ not a good one but I could get through this just fine—I just had to be honest with him. Then again honestly I didn't mind Lance being here because he brought us a hunt—brought _me_a hunt because he thought it would be important to me and he knew about my past so if it had to do with, then I needed to do the hunt no matter what. If I was in Dean's shoes though, I wouldn't let _his_ ex stay, so Lance couldn't stay…I just needed the information that he had and then he had to leave.

"How does he know?" Dean asked me.

I forgot about that. "You mean about hunting? Lance has powers like I do…he, Jen, Chelsea and I used to do things together in High School—even though Chelsea never did any of the magic stuff."

"Okay, so…do you _want_ to take the case?" Dean asked me. "Punching Bag seems to think that you need to take the case—and what the _Hell_ is up with him calling you by a nickname?"

"He's called me that since we became friends _years_ ago." I explained to him and wrapped my arms around Dean's neck. "Baby, I promise you, I'm going to get the information that Lance has from him and then send him back on his way, all right?"

Dean sighed loudly and nodded as I kissed him, Dean sliding his hands down to my hips as I slipped my fingers into his hair, nodding into him. I relaxed and he hoisted me up, both of us knowing we shouldn't, but once my legs were around his waist, we were on the bed, him on top, me getting his buttons undone while he went for his belt. It could have been perfect…had Annie not walked right in.

"Whoa! Whoa!" She said, Dean sighing and me making a noise and closing my eyes as I lay my head on the bed. "First of all Bobby wouldn't be okay with this, and second of all, its one bed and I have to share it with Lanni tonight so _I'm_ not okay with it. Also…Lance says he doesn't have all day, so…"

I just nodded and kissed Dean swiftly, telling him I was sorry before I left the room, smiling at Annie as I went past. The sooner I talked to Lance, the sooner he could be on his way, and the sooner Dean and I could get back to normal…maybe cop a feel or two.

xxxx

**Annie's POV**

I was kind of entertained by the whole love triangle going down between Dean, Lana and Lance—and it was cute Lana and Dean were all over each other again. The best part about it was that Dean never looked embarrassed or ashamed about the sexual stuff—he almost flaunted it. I mean he never actually came out and talked about it in any great detail, but he never hid anything either.

"Just can't keep your hands off of her for one second, can you?" I asked him, laughing a little when he chuckled and gave me a look. "If you hurt her again, I'm gonna cut it off—it's a threat, so no cutesy asking or anything, okay?"

Dean nodded at me. "Trust me, I understand."

"Good…now how about we have a little chat?" I asked him.

"What about?" Dean replied.

I took a deep breath and then I closed my eyes a moment and then opened them. I knew it wasn't my place to tell Dean about Lana's past with Lance so I wouldn't—but he had to know a few other things. Besides, I wouldn't be a good sister if I didn't make sure he was good enough for Lana—she was all I had right now.

I finally found my words. "My sister is beautiful, and she is brilliant, and she is—"

"—talented, kind, amazing at everything she does…I _know_, Annie." Dean told me, and though I hated to be interrupted, for this I would let it slide. "Look, I know that I don't have a good track record and I know that Lanni and I have had a bumpy ride, but I _do_ want to marry her, and I _will_ protect her."

"All right." I told him with a nod. "You may proceed out to where Lance is."

Dean chuckled and shook his head, and we went out to talk to Lance about what was going on. Lance wasn't feeling normal to me, but at the same time…no, I had to go with my instincts. Lana was _always_ telling me that things worked out better if you went with your instincts so I should. In fact Lana said she was going to research more with Bobby and I went with Dean, Sam and Lance to the abandoned building.

"I kind of wish Lana could have a baby so that I could get a niece or nephew." I mused as we looked around.

Dean nodded slowly. "Sometimes I wish that too, but…me as a dad?"

"Hello, can we focus on the case, please?" Lance asked us.

Dean shot him a look but I understood—Lance had wanted a life with Lana and she had told him she didn't want the same. Now she was moved on and about to have the life that Lance had wanted and it hurt him because he hadn't found _his_ other person yet. It kind of made me miss Penn…a _lot_…

"Time to split up." I said, shooting Lance a look.

Sam sighed and took me by the hand. "Dean and Lance go that way, Annie and I are going this way."

"Fine." Dean grumbled and pointed towards a room.

"What, Sam?" I asked him as he gave me a look.

I didn't know what Sam was doing, but it was kind of weird—it was like he was trying to get to me. Not in a he was trying to annoy me kind of way, but he was finally stepping in and trying to figure me out. It was nice…but it was also kind of…well weird to say the least and I didn't know how to react.

"Where is all this anger coming from?" Sam asked me.

I looked at the ground. "I don't know—I just have a tendency to lash out."

"Does this have anything to do with Lan and Lance's relationship?" Sam asked me.

"No…it has to do with their _past_ relationship." I explained to him and then I sighed. "It has to do with Lance _still_ being in love with her."

Sam rested his fingers under my chin and looked me in the eye, causing me to blush. I didn't know why I was blushing anyway—I mean yeah it was nice he cared, but I hadn't ever noticed Sam's eyes and I shouldn't have. I mean he was Lana's ex, and even though he annoyed me sometimes, he was the sweet, caring one.

"I don't think you have to worry about anything." Sam told me calmly.

I swallowed. "Yeah…okay…"

It wasn't really convincing and I knew it, but if I didn't stop looking in Sam's eyes right then I'd embarrass myself. I started to move slowly but Sam reached out and pushed stray hair out of my face, making me blush even more as Dean and Lance came over to us. Dean chuckled a little and I took a step back from Sam, clearing my throat and looking at Dean like I was waiting for him to say something already.

"I think we found another death." Dean told us.

I nodded and followed him, Sam close behind me, and we saw a man laying under some curtains, mutilated. Sam made a face and I turned around, my face making contact with his strong torso…God help me now. I think about how much I miss Penn, my ex boyfriend and now I'm all blushy and noticing Sam? Why, God? Why?

"We need to look up the history of the victims." Sam told us, wrapping his arms around me to comfort me.

Dean nodded. "And fast."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Bobby, Jen and I had come up with exactly _one _person who would do this: Chelsea. Oh God if it was Chelsea again, then what had I just let Annie go to do? I didn't want Dean, Sam or Lance to experience Annie losing control. This just couldn't happen like this, could it? _Why_ was Chelsea _doing_ this?

"I don't know what else to tell you, Lan." Bobby told me, shrugging. "I think we have to trust Jen's research here and assume its Chelsea."

I sighed and nodded. "Sadly, I think we're going to have to assume that too."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Bobby asked me.

"No, no—stay here in case I miss them and they get back here." I told him, nodding.

He didn't like the idea of me wandering out alone, but it just made sense to me…at least it did before I got a weird vibe when I opened the door and a black cloud came into me through my nostrils and down my throat…

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

Sam, Annie and I stood over Lana's grave and I glanced at Sam as he held Annie to him, running his fingers through her hair as she cried into him. I couldn't lose it—I just couldn't. I had to be the one that pulled together here…especially since I'm the one that had to make the final call.

It had all just happened so fast—one minute I'm in the building with Annie, Sam and Lance and the next Bobby's calling me. He's telling me that Lana fell on the floor and she wasn't breathing and he had called an ambulance and everything. No one could save her…not even me.

"Should we have burned her body?" Sam asked me.

I shook my head. "No…no."

"What if she comes back?" Sam asked again.

"Sammy, we're not going to burn her body." Annie said, slightly angry.

Sam sighed a little. "Not even if she could come back as an angry spirit? Guys I think we all know Lan well enough to know she wouldn't have wanted to come back as a monster that we hunt."

I just shook my head and turned to walk away from the grave. I understood where Sam was coming from—I did—but I was _not_ going to burn Lana's body. God, I couldn't even believe that I had put Lana through so much and then never even told her I loved her before she died. What the Hell kind of fiancé was I? What kind of boyfriend?

"We're leaving…now." I told them, and we all got into the car, Annie in the backseat and Sam in the passenger one.

"Do you want to talk about it, Dean?" Annie asked me softly, but I stayed silent because I didn't—I had to be strong about this. "I know you loved her, and it will probably be better if you talk about it."

I just reached over to the stereo and turned on some rock music, letting them know that I couldn't do this. There was so much pain inside my heart right then, and if I talked about it, I was going to cry and I couldn't do that—not in front of Annie. I knew her well enough, and I trusted her now, but I wasn't _that _close to her yet…and I didn't know if now I ever would be since she no longer had a reason to hunt with us.

Annie blew her nose and then called Jen. "Jen…its Annie. We're on our way to see you…something happened…to Lana." Annie explained and she paused and took in a shaky breath. "She's—she's dead."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I woke up coughing, trying to sit up, but hitting my head on something soft. I fell back down, reaching up to touch my head, and suddenly felt very confined. What the Hell was going on around here? What was that black smoke? Where was I? What had happened?

"What the…" I began, and reached around. "Am I in…no!"

I reached around, finding my mini flashlight in my shoe, and then I turned it on, screaming, and then quickly stopping. I was buried…_alive_? Last thing I remembered, I had opened the door to go and find Sam, Dean, Lance and Annie and a black cloud had entered me—then it was all one big black hole of nothing so I knew I had been possessed…but now I was _buried_?

"Shit!" I cried, and banged on the top of the coffin for a little while before I reminded myself that if I was buried, I had limited air. "Maybe my phone will work."

I searched around for my phone amazed it was in my back pocket. What the Hell was going on? I was buried. Didn't that mean I got to be in nice clothes and everything? Of course walking around with wanted people probably meant that they just put me in a coffin and they buried me themselves—great. I turned it on and sighed—it only had half its battery left.

"Well, at least it has a—no! No, no, no!" I said, noticing it had no signal. "This isn't good. This is really, _really_ not good."

I moved the phone around, just to make sure, and realized that near the bottom of the coffin, there was an on and off signal—it was really weak, and prolly wouldn't work, but if any of them got a call from my phone, they'd figure something out, right? I sure hoped so. I didn't know how long I'd been in here, so I didn't know how much longer I had and _that_ was the worst thought I could have: suffocating to death.

xxxx

**Annie's POV**

"We're not finding anything, Dean." Sam said, shutting his laptop loudly and standing up. "I don't know what else to look for."

Dean whirled on him. "That demon killed Lana! I'm never going to be able to see her again so don't tell me you don't know what else to look for, Sam!"

"Dean, seriously…" I said taking a deep breath, "…chill."

"Annie, don't tell me to chill." Dean told me sternly.

He was hurt and I knew that and he was trying to be calm but he was not the _only_ one who was hurting here. I had just lost my sister—my _sister_! I had been separated from her for years, then I had gotten to be brought back into her life by a miracle and I had lost her. I had lost her to a demon and there had been nothing I could do to help her—nothing Lance could have done to help her—and when she died, Lance took off to go and console Jen and Sam, Dean and I…we were trying to find the demon and murder it.

"Dean, we are just as hurt by this as you are!" I yelled at him.

"But you aren't! No offense, Annie, but you don't know her like I do!" Dean told me. "You may have known her for the first few years of your life, and now, but I've known her for nearly two years! I let her all the way in! I almost had a kid with her! I was going to _marry _her! Damn-it, I'm in love with her!"

Sam and I both wanted to say something like, 'Dean, you have to let her go', but we kept our mouths shut. It would have been a rather logical thing to say but it was something _much_ easier said than done. This was Lana…she was our family…and not she was gone and none of us knew what to do.

I took a deep breath. "You know what, you may have known her for longer lately, but she's my sister, and I have always loved her! I've seen her before now—I've watched her. You can't for one second tell me you loved her more than I did—we just love her differently."

"Do you know what this week has been like for me?" Dean asked me.

"Dean!" I cried and I shook my head. "This is not 'feel sorry for Dean' day! That demon possessed Lanni, and killed her from the inside out! While it was in her, it killed two innocent High School students, and though luckily no one identified her or caught enough of a glimpse of her, we lost her to it! You have to be calm, so we can find this thing and kill it!"

Dean nodded slowly. "You're right."

"I know I am." I replied, slightly calmer than before. "Now let's please do this."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I couldn't get through, and nothing was happening anymore, besides this sudden feeling that maybe I should sleep. Should I sleep? When you sleep don't you use less oxygen? Maybe it was in my best interest to sleep…no, then I couldn't dig my way out…

"This is just terrific." I told the coffin. "I don't think it could possibly get any worse than this."

"I beg to differ." A demonic voice said.

I sighed loudly. "Great…my only company is a demon."

"I didn't even scare you? Seriously?" It asked.

I shrugged. "Trust me it doesn't get scarier than being buried alive…I mean unless you buried alive pregnant cause then you'd be breathing for two."

I knew it really wasn't the time to be cheeky with a demon, but at the same time I had nothing else to do. At least bantering would keep me alive long enough to figure out how to get out of here.

"That's true." The voice replied.

I took a breath. "You were the demon that got inside of me, aren't you?"

"No—I let someone else do that for me…I'm simply the mastermind." The demonic voice replied. "I am actually kind of glad this is all working out like this—seeing Annie again will be nice."

"What do you know about Annie?" I asked her.

The voice laughed. "Oh Annie and I go way back."

"You know, I have limited oxygen, so if you could speed up this little chat that would be perfect." I said, getting a little annoyed.

The voice sighed. "Fine—ruin my fun. Annie and I were friends, much like you and Chelsea actually. I swear other than the fact that Annie is cooler than you, you guys are very much alike."

"Oh, so you were a vampire too, I take it?" I asked sarcastically.

"You know, Lana, I don't have to be nice to you. I could just have my little demon possess you again until your oxygen runs out." The voice threatened.

Well since that was definitely _not _the ideal plan for me, I shut my mouth and I took a deep breath. It was pretty much time for me to try and dig my way out—maybe use some magic if I could focus well enough. Why not let the demon talk and tell me what she wanted to tell me?

I nodded slowly. "Go ahead…tell you're little story."

"Thank you." The voice said, cheerier. "I was actually always a like this, all powerful and manipulative—Annie just couldn't sense me until she grew into her powers. I kept that girl on her toes—she never would have taken out my rival demons had I not tipped her off so much."

"So you're like an evil Jen?" I asked her, definitely curious about this.

The voice laughed. "I guess you could say that. Oh, and here's the real kicker—thanks to me, Annie's going to let you die in here."

xxxx

**Annie's POV**

When Jen showed up, I sighed a little and Jen wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly. Both of us had cried enough, but the sadness was still overwhelming and we didn't know what to do or how to do it. We didn't know what they were dealing with and I wanted revenge…I wanted Lana back.

"I'm so sorry, Annie." Jen whispered to me.

I nodded slowly. "I'm sorry too, Jenny."

Jen kissed the top of my head, and then pulled away. "Is there anything you need me to do?"

"I've hit a dead end." I told her, shrugging. "What am I supposed to do?"

Jen reached out and stroked my hair, nodding slowly and handing me the papers of research. She had been trying to help me out with the case since Sam and Dean were kind of in moods lately, and it was nice. Jen didn't _have _to be here for me—she didn't _have _to be so wonderful—but she was…Jen just naturally was.

"Are there any demons Lan may have pissed off in the past?" Jen asked me. "Actually, don't answer that—it doesn't give us a definitive answer."

I sighed loudly instead of chuckling a little. "Wait a minute—I knew a Victoria that I pissed off in the past—this could fit her MO—Victoria killed High School students when we went to school together. I just never knew until…until I witnessed it all myself this one time. I've…before meeting up with Lanni I only killed two demons by myself—one was Victoria…except that…well that Victoria never _stays_ dead…"

"Sounds like you have quite the past." Jen said with a nod.

"I do." I admitted slowly. "I really, really do."

"You wanna share?" Jen asked me slowly. "I mean you don't have to if you don't want to."

I took a deep breath. "I guess it's time."

_I smiled as I stuck my books in my locker—Penn Grisham had talked to me last period and I had been waiting for it for ages. He had asked me to be his girlfriend and of course I said 'yes'—I'd been pining for him for years and now everything finally seemed to be going my way._

"_Ann!" Victoria called from down the hall._

_I shut the locker door after grabbing my science books and I turned to Victoria and smiled at her. She was my best friend and I had delicious news to tell her that she had to hear from me before the whole school found out about it._

"_I just heard the news! Congratulations!" Victoria exclaimed. "I'm a little hurt you never told me though."_

_I made a face. "It __**just **__happened and you were the first person I was __**going**__ to tell! Give me a little bit of slack here."_

"_I'm just giving you a hard time, Ann." Victoria told me, waving it off. "So…"_

"_He's taking me to the new blockbuster hit tomorrow night." I said happily. "You know…whatever __**that**__ is."_

_I never really kept up with what was going on in movies even though I should—I was supposed to be living a normal life. This was why I was moved away from Lana…I was supposed to stick to being normal so that neither me, nor her was in danger. It was just hard because I couldn't just __**forget**__ about Lana—she was my __**sister**__!_

_Victoria smiled at me. "Wow! You have to tell my absolutely EVERYTHING!"_

"_I will. You're my best friend, Vicki—you're going to know." I told her, rolling my eyes._

"_Wow…you and Penn Grisham. That's—you've been pining for him for the last year." Victoria said contemplating it all. "Okay, a little longer than that."_

_I blushed a little. "Yeah, but with all of the hanging out and everything lately it __**had**__ to happen eventually, didn't it?"_

_Victoria laughed at that and shrugged and we both thought the same thing: not necessarily. Things in my life had a habit of falling apart and Victoria knew that—she knew everything about me…__**everything**__. Best friends just didn't keep secrets from each other and that was that. Thinking about it all kind of made me want to see my sister, but Victoria had that look in her eyes…I wonder what it was __**this**__ time._

"_You free tonight?" Victoria asked me._

_I nodded quickly. "Yeah I am, why?"_

"_Well…we have a problem. I think there's going to be a demon around tonight." Victoria whispered softly and I sighed—Victoria's feelings were __**never**__ wrong._

"_All right," I told her, "but first, can we sneak around to Lanni's?"_

_Victoria nodded and smiled. "Of course we can."_

_I was so thankful for her and for her understanding that I needed to make sure that Lana was alive and happy. So we went through the rest of the school day and then that night we snuck out and sat in a bush outside like we always did. Lance was over that night and they were cuddled together on the swing out back._

"_You ever feel like something is just off?" Lana asked him, kissing his neck softly._

_Lance nodded and smiled. "Sometimes, Lan-Bon."_

"_I mean do you ever feel this cosmic force? Like, right now I feel so much like something lost is near—I know it's near." Lana explained to him._

"_I know what you mean, Lan." Lana told her. "I just think that maybe if you focused on your powers a little more you'd know what this something lost is."_

_She nodded slowly and sighed, smiling a little when he kissed her, which made me smile too—she looked so peaceful. Lance knew her so well and I was glad that he was there for her because she seemed to depend on his so much. To top it off she __**trusted**__ him, and trust like that didn't just go away._

"_You know, I don't think I could have asked for a better boyfriend." Lana told him. "You, Mom, Dad, Chels and Jenny are all I have."_

_Lance smiled and kissed her forehead—he was so much like a Sam before the demon things happened to him. He was just so much like the kind of man that Lana needed in her life…because the fire would happen soon. Then everything in her world would start to fall apart and she'd need him to lean on._

"_And you'll never have to let us go." Lance told her, stroking her cheek softly. "Because we love you."_

_Lana smiled and kissed him again. "And I love you guys too."_

"_She's so happy." I told Victoria as we slunk away and Victoria wrapped her arms around me which made me smile a little because I loved that she was there for me._

"_I bet she'd be happier if she knew who you were." Victoria said, and before the two of us could say anything else, we saw a demon attacking a girl._

_As I fought the demon, Victoria pretended to move the girl away from the fight, and killed her where she stood, slitting her throat, the girl's blood splattering on her, but Victoria didn't flinch—this is what she did. She ditched the knife after rubbing off her fingerprints, and then hurried to me—at that point I was killing my very first demon._

"_Another one showed up and killed her!" Victoria called as I decapitated the demon in front of us._

"_What? We have to get out of here." I said, and the we ran home rather bloody, washing ourselves off and getting rid of all traces of the dead girl._

"Wait…so Victoria set you up?" Jen asked me.

I nodded at her. "Yeah…she would stage these things where there was supposed to be a demon, and then kill the girls. That was the only time a demon actually showed up. I was always off securing things, and then Victoria would say the demon came, attacked, and she tried to fight them, but they got away."

Jen took a breath. "So how did you piss her off?"

"Even demons hate being sent to hell, Jenny." I answered her.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"What do you mean Annie won't save me?" I asked, my lungs starting to hurt, as the air got less and less breathable.

"Annie thinks she sent me to Hell…that poor girl. She has _no _idea what I am or how to deal with me—but even so I was always there for her." The voice told me. "She'd rather see you die anyway—you the sister who never went looking for her. I could even go and face her and she wouldn't even try to kill me again, I bet you."

I took a deep breath. "Wait a minute…you're Victoria, aren't you? Annie mentioned a Victoria she had to kill when we were catching up the night we met up again."

"Why, yes I am—you're good, Lana. You're a lot better than demons give you credit for." Victoria laughed. "I mean look at you, Lana—you're stuck down here listening to me talk instead of using your powers to get yourself out of this mess before you die. What are you doing, Lana? Feeling sorry for yourself?"

I made a face. "I don't know what you're talking about—I kick demon ass."

"You _used_ to kick demon ass." Victoria corrected me. "Lately now the Winchesters do it for you because you gave up. You used to be fabulous at the job—you used to be number one. But now? Now you're Sam and Dean's side-kick. Even Annie is hunting demons better than you."

I shook my head because I knew what she was trying to do—she was _trying _to get me to use my powers but why? What was the advantage to that? Yes, I could get myself out but…why would she _want _that? I was getting confused now.

"What do my powers have to do with anything?" I asked her.

"I'm not talking about your powers, Lana—well not _entirely_ anyway—I'm talking about being distracted." Victoria explained in a rather bored sounding voice. "You let your love get in the way of your smarts."

"I do not!" I argued, trying to get more air. "Annie and I figured out about the demi-gods! Sam and I took out the ghost possessing the car! Jen and I took out Chelsea! Let me out of here!"

The panic began to rise in me as I realized I'd never see them all again, and I beat on the top of the coffin, my knuckles throbbing with pain as I tore at the cloth on the top. I could do this—if I just got through the wood now, I could get out. I stopped though, as I felt a pain in my abdomen, and I knew I was running out of air, but I felt something else—I felt Dean's presence above me.

"Excuse me, Lana—I need to go and turn your fiancé around." Victoria told me.

"No! Don't!" I cried, the tears coming. "Let him do this—let him grow from this. Visiting graves is hard for him."

Victoria laughed loudly. "You really love him, don't you?"

"More than anything." I replied, pounding on the top of the coffin.

"And you'd give your life to save him, wouldn't you?" Victoria asked me.

The tone in her voice actually kind of freaked me out…what was she getting at? I mean of _course_ I would die for Dean—Hell I'd _kill_ for Dean if I had to. So if I told Victoria that…what exactly would I gain? What would _she_ gain? Only one way to find out…

I swallowed then took a breath. "Of course I would."

"Then don't try to get saved—let yourself go." Victoria whispered to me. "You do that, and I leave them alone."

I looked down at my phone, my finger ready to press the speed dial for Dean's phone, but I stopped. Part of me knew I couldn't trust her, but with me down here, I couldn't stop her from killing them and if she really _was _telling the truth, then…that was all it took. I shut the phone, another pain shooting through my abdomen, my eyes closing as the oxygen began to be almost nonexistent—everything burning.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I looked at the gravestone and I wiped away the single tear that had fallen. It hurt that I felt like I couldn't cry—hurt that I couldn't find it in me to actually show the emotions I wanted to show…_needed _to show. If I hadn't spent so much time fixing the Impala, I would have been bashing it in again with a club, but I knew I couldn't do that either.

"It feels like everything is slipping away." I said out loud. "I can't believe we'll never talk again. Never touch again. Never be near each other again. I—I can't believe you're gone…I feel so responsible for this, Lanni. I can't believe you're dead."

"She's not dead yet, but she will be." A woman told me, and I turned to see a raven-haired woman standing before me.

I raised my eyebrows. "What are you talking about? Who are you?"

"I'm talking about Lana suffocating six feet below where you're standing." She said and then she _laughed_.

I couldn't figure out if this was a demon or just another vindictive bitch from Lana's past but I was furious. How could _she_? She just _laughed_ about Lana being _buried_ _alive_ and how the Hell did she know that anyway?

"Let her out!" I cried and went for her, but she held up her hand and I found himself frozen there.

She smiled at me. "You buried her—doesn't that haunt you?"

"I buried her because she was cold—she was stiff!" I protested not believing what I had done to the woman I loved. "She wasn't breathing! There was no heartbeat!"

"Growing up with a psychic witch as your best friend has its advantages, let me tell you. I mean I have my own amazing powers, but I wouldn't have even known about Lana, Annie or their origin had it not been for Annie." She explained to me. "Though Lana isn't a big fan of Romeo and Juliet, I did a good impersonation of it—I made her appear dead to you—I wanted to break up the team."

"You son of a bitch." I hissed at her. "I hate you."

She shrugged and smiled. "It happens. She gave up for you—she decided not to try and call your phone again when she felt your presence—she's letting herself die so I won't hurt you or Sam or Annie anymore."

What? Why would Lana _do _that to me? I didn't want to live without her! How _dare _she give up to save _me_? I felt the tears stinging my eyes and I attempted to blink them away, but I couldn't—they were going to come. I didn't want to cry in front of the demon that had killed Lana, but I didn't know what else to do. My harsh words weren't coming—I couldn't fight back the feelings anymore—I let the tears slide down my cheeks but no sobs came out.

"Oh stop that." The woman told me, annoyed with me.

I composed myself. "You took her from me, and I'm not going to let you get away with that—I'm going to _kill_ you."

"I do some pretty crappy things." She laughed and then she smiled at me and shrugged. "It's kinda what I do and I think its fun."

I opened my mouth to say something else but Annie and Jen showed up, Sammy right behind them. I was glad to see them but I didn't want them to waste any more time—if Lana really _was_ still alive, then we needed to dig her out and _now_.

"Victoria." Annie said with a nod. "You just don't stay dead, do you Vicki?"

Victoria smiled and let her hold on me down. "Hello, Ann."

I went for Victoria since I could move again, but she saw it coming and waved her hand, sending me flying backwards into a tree. One of the branches ripped my flesh at my side and I grunted a little but it didn't matter. All that mattered was getting Lana out of the ground but when I tried to open my mouth to speak, nothing came out and Victoria smirked.

"Now is _not_ the time for talking, Dean." She told me, and then she looked at Annie. "What's your back-up going to do now, Ann?"

"Just stop this, Vicki!" Annie cried, shaking her head and then opening her eyes in horror as Victoria sent Sam into another tree as he ran at her, Jen muttering a spell under her breath. "STOP!"

Victoria sighed loudly. "Annie, Annie, Annie—I thought this was what you wanted."

"No, Vicki," Annie told her firmly, "I never wanted Lanni to die."

"Well I'm afraid you can't stop that, now. Lana's given up trying to get out of that grave." Victoria said, looking at it and smiling.

Annie's eyes widened. "She's still alive? We _buried_ her _alive_?"

That was all I wanted them to know and the look in Jen's eyes was kind of breaking my heart even more. Jen had been by Lana's side since before they were born really, and to know that she was buried alive…it was breaking her. Why was all of this happening to us? What was the motive? Was it just for Victoria's sick pleasure?

Victoria nodded and grinned. "I had actually thought you would have done the right thing and burned her body so she wouldn't come back as a spirit, but…it was much more fun this way. Besides, we can't just have her dead, now can we?"

"You haven't changed, Vicki—it's always been about fun with you." Annie told her angrily. "It didn't matter at college when Penn and I were having problems, it didn't matter when Penn and I had made-up and were closer than ever, it didn't matter when those girls at the party died—you always cared about having fun. Me going out to meet new people when Penn and I were fighting was fun for you—talking about Penn and I sleeping together for the first time even when I wanted to stop the conversation was fun for you—killing that girl at the party was fun for you—and torturing Lanni is fun for you. Will you ever grow up?"

Victoria laughed at her. "Figure out what I am, Ann, honey, and everything will finally become clear to you."

"I can't believe we were ever friends." Annie said and then pointed to the grave we'd put Lana in. "Help us get Lanni out."

"Oh you can dig all you want—she has exactly two minutes and seven seconds of air left—even if all four of you dug as fast as you could, you wouldn't get to her in time." Victoria replied with a laugh. "I'll see you around soon, Ann, and you…"

Victoria turned to me and then she knocked me out with a tree branch with a malicious smile on her face.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I knew that I couldn't trust Victoria to keep her word—Annie had told me all about her and it finally clicked for me: Victoria was a Trickster. That meant that she would get pleasure out of making my loved ones suffer even if I wasn't there to watch it—she wasn't the nice kind of Trickster that was for sure. This was a game to her—it wasn't knocking the mighty off of their pedestals.

I gasped for air as I made it out of the grave, and I lay on the ground, feeling like I had no strength left in me. I took in as much air as I could, crying a little into the dirt—that was one Hell of a climb. My whole body ached, I needed air, and my knuckles were wet and throbbing—I needed to go to Jen's.

"I couldn't just be a sitting duck." I whispered coughing a little and trying hard to stop being so dizzy.

I stumbled around a bit until I got to Jen's house, knocking on the door, and falling into Kevin, who steadied me and let me in. He held me close to him and helped me to stand, looking me in the eye and kissing my forehead. I was glad to have him and he looked like he was _beyond_ thrilled to see me—who would have thought Kevin and I actually meant so much to each other?

"You look terrible, but alive." Kevin told me.

I just nodded, closing my eyes. "It was one Hell of a climb."

"You dug yourself out of your grave?" Kevin asked, completely surprised and brining me water.

"Where's Jen?" I asked him after I nodded.

"She's at the hospital, along with Annie, Sam and Dean." Kevin explained to me. "I'm here to grab the girls and take them to visit their mother."

"I knew she wouldn't keep her promise." I said, and tried to stand up, but I fell back down. "No…I have to get up."

I stood, Kevin steadying me, and then he grabbed Minah and Kaydence and we went to the hospital. Kevin had gotten me a washcloth to wash off my knuckles, and once at the hospital they checked me in and checked me over. I showered and then went into Jen's room, Jen looking up from the bed, her eyes surprised and threatening to cry because she was happy too—I was happy to see her as well.

"Oh my God." Jen said, and Sam was already on me, wrapping me in a firm hug.

"Thank God, Lan." Sam whispered, and kissed my forehead.

"We thought you were really gone." Jen added, and I kissed Sam swiftly, running my finger over his head wound, and then sat on Jen's bed.

I was so glad that everyone was all right, even though I _hated_ having to see Jen like this—in a hospital bed. Jen had always been afraid of hospital beds, and when I opened my mouth to joke about it and prove to her that I was okay, Kevin came into the room and Jen smiled at him. Her girls were with him and I was glad that they were so happy and together…made me need to see Annie and Dean.

"You okay?" I asked her.

Jen nodded and smiled. "I'm fine—I'm alive."

"That's fantastic." I told her, smiling when Kevin brought the girls over and let them get on the bed. "Where's Annie?"

"She's in Dean's room—she wanted to tell him how sorry she was you were gone in person—she feels so responsible for what happened to you." Jen explained to me.

I nodded, and rested my hand on Sam's as he hugged me again. "We'll get through it…now you just spend time with them and I'll be back—I have to go see the fiancé and make sure he isn't trying to die on me again."

Jen nodded and Sam kissed the top of my head, following me, my hand in his. I smiled at Jen when I got to the door and paused when I heard her speak up to stop me. She had noticed my knuckles as Sam had, but he didn't want to talk to me about them while Jen was dealing with her daughters.

"How are you?" Jen asked me.

I smiled sadly. "For climbing out of my own grave…I'm good."

She nodded sadly and I left the room and wandered to Dean's, smiling a bit even though he wasn't awake yet, and he was cut up on his face a little. Annie had her eyes closed, sitting next to his bed, but a smile spread across her face and she looked up at me, jumping up and embracing me, and we cried a little, Sam smiling at us.

"Hey, lil' sis." I told her, kissing the top of her head.

"You smell clean." Annie said softly.

I nodded slowly. "I showered when I got here in my hospital room—seems _everyone_ had a rough day."

"We really, really did." Annie admitted, pulling away and wiping her eyes. "Wait…how did you get here?"

I teared up. "I clawed my way out."

Sam took a deep breath and ran his hand along my back as Annie reached out slowly for my hands. She looked them over and then started to tear up too, looking up into my eyes and taking a deep breath. I was trying really hard not to cry but I knew I was going to end up losing it…because I had had to climb my way _out_ of my own grave…

"Your knuckles are torn up." Annie whispered to me.

I nodded and forced a smile. "But I'm okay."

"You don't look okay, Lanni. You look scared and…small even." Annie said, and we hugged again.

"It was scary, Annie—it was really, really scary." I admitted to her, nodding into her.

Annie kissed my cheek softly as she pulled away, and then she took Sam with her out of the room. She had to make sure that Sam got the attention he needed and she wanted to make sure Jen was going to be all right, so I sat next to Dean's bed. I took his hand and I kissed it, before I decided to just crawl onto his hospital bed with him.

"Now that I'm here, the least you can do is wake up." I whispered in his ear.

I ran my fingers through his hair and leaned over to kiss his lips softly, nibbling on the bottom one a little, Dean stirring. He had been through quite a lot today—as had I—but I just had cut up knuckles…Dean was emotionally hurt right now. I was really happy to hear his breathing change a little and I kissed his head again.

"You're lucky I didn't have to haunt your ass." I whispered to him.

Dean's eyes opened and he looked at me, tears coming to them, and he sat up, me making him lay back down as he cringed. Victoria had worked him over and he had ended up in the hospital, and he needed to take it easy. Besides, if I was going to have to talk about what had happened to me, then I needed him to lay down so I could…and cry a little.

"You took quite the blow." I told him.

"How are you here? You didn't have any oxygen left." Dean told me. "Please don't tell me that I have to kill you because you're not really here."

"As soon as Victoria left me to talk to you, I broke through the lid of the coffin and crawled my way out of the grave." I explained, trying not to be scared about it, but I knew that I was. "Cheesy as it sounds, my life flashed before my eyes. My lungs, my eyes, my nose, my chest and my stomach burned, but I had to get out. I couldn't just lay there and wait to die…that just isn't me, you know? I had to see you all again—I had to see _you_ again. I asked you to marry me, I can't back out now."

Dean smiled a little at my attempt to joke and sat up a little bit even though I gave him a look. He wrapped his arms around me and I loved being in his strong, warm, embrace so much that…I started to cry. Dean nodded and cried a little too, so I kissed his shirted chest and I looked up into his warm hazel eyes.

"How are you?" He asked as I sniffled.

I took a deep breath. "I'm healthy, so…I'm fine."

"I'm glad you're here, Lanni." Dean told me, then he closed his eyes in relief, and I kissed his jaw line softly, feeling more at ease as his warm lips touched mine.

xxxx

I rested my hands on the tile in the shower, and I cried as the water ran down me—I couldn't get clean enough. I showered at least twice a day, and I was starting to be a little OCD about washing my hands. Ever since the first shower I had taken to get the dirt off of me and out from under my fingernails and out of my nose and ears, I had felt dirty—I hadn't felt right.

When I got out, I dried myself off, and then I got dressed and sat in my room looking at my hands, trying to push the thoughts away. We were all out of the hospital now, but I was having a really hard time forgetting being buried. To be in such a confined space, unable to reach anyone, knowing you have limited time to live—it eats at you. If I hadn't clawed my way out, I wouldn't be here right now—I'd be dead.

"What if I had given up?" I asked myself suddenly.

If I hadn't felt _so _strongly that Victoria was lying to me, I wouldn't have climbed out—wouldn't have been able to climb out. I would have just let the burning and gasping continue until it was all over—I actually would have laid down there to let Annie, Sam and Dean live. Then again all demons lie, so I couldn't lay down there forever.

"You okay?" Dean asked me.

I looked up abruptly. "Huh? Yeah."

"You look kind of pale, Lanni." Dean said, coming over to me and looking me over my knuckles bandaged.

"I'm still a little shaky." I told him as I shrugged.

Dean nodded slowly. "You clawed your way out of a six foot deep hole."

"I'm still amazed about that—I should be dead right now, Dean." I told him.

I looked at him as he sighed loudly and climbed onto the bed with me, getting as close to me as possible. Dean wrapped his arms around me and held me close, and I stroked his cheek as he cringed a little. I really loved him, and I didn't know what else I would do right now…I felt like mixed with Dean's smell and the smell of soap, I could still smell dirt…this was terrible.

"She did a number on you, didn't she?" I asked, referring to Victoria.

Dean nodded slowly. "Yeah, she did."

I nodded slowly and decided that the smell of dirt was just too much so I took Dean's hand and led him into the bathroom. He was confused at first, but I just shook my head and started to unbutton his shirt, sliding it off of him, and then turning on the water in the bathtub. Dean reached out and took my hand and I stopped a minute, not looking at him because I knew he was _really_ concerned about me.

"Haven't you showered already?" Dean asked in a whisper.

"I'm just making sure you're clean." I replied softly. "I want to make sure that gash in your side isn't going to get infected."

"Baby, I'm fine…I'm worried about _you_." Dean stressed, tugging on my hand and making me turn to face him, so I put a brave face on.

I was glad he cared so much, and I was _so_ thankful for him, but I really needed to do this. It was becoming pretty apparent to me that I needed to go ahead and get into a more playful mode and if that was what I needed to do, then so be it. He and I needed to mend, and we needed to put all of this behind us for good.

"Well, when have you ever said 'no' to taking a bath with me?" I asked playfully and Dean slid his hand into my hair, his thumb stroking my cheek, and then he kissed me.

"What are we waiting for then?" He asked me.

I smiled at that and nodded, glad the two of us were on the same page now and I put bubble bath ingredients into the tub. Dean stripped down, taking the bandage off of his side, and then I stripped down too, laughing as he gave me a look.

"What?" I asked him, a genuine smile on my face.

He pointed to the tub. "You never said I was taking a girly bath."

"Since when are bubble baths girly?" I asked him, laughing again.

"Since the beginning of time." He replied with a look and a nod.

"I'll have you know that bubble baths can be very manly." I told him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

He slipped his arms around my waist. "Oh really? When?"

"When you're enjoying them with a beautiful woman." I whispered, and kissed him softly.

"All right…you've made your point." He whispered, brushing his lips against mine.

I nodded, and then we got into the tub, me sitting in between his legs, my back against his chest. He kissed my head and I smiled, closing my eyes, relaxing against him as he held me and ran his fingers along my arms, his nose nuzzling my neck.

"We'll be all right…I promise." He whispered to me.

I smiled and snuggled into him more the tears stinging my eyes, him holding me tighter as he noted the change in my breathing. He kissed my neck softly and nodded slowly as I nodded, both of us just trying to get through this. I wanted to be all right and someday I would be—_especially_ if Dean was here with me.

"I believe you." I whispered back wiping a tear away.

**Note: Okay this storyline changed a LOT from the original one, but I love it more now because I think it makes more sense with what I was trying to do from the beginning. Also, I wrote this storyline AGES before Lazurus Rising—like TWO YEARS before (I wrote the chapters that were episodes the first time around during the episode when it aired after the Hellhound thing happened so Lana could have genuine reactions—sometimes she has the same thought process I did when I was watching the first time around only with a little less information obviously), so…keep that in mind when we get to the sad chapter. I hope you guys liked hearing some about Annie's past! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	40. How a Heart Breaks

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter is **_**also**_** emotionally charged, so there's the warning for that.**

**I also have to warn you that you are going to **_**hate**_** Lana this chapter.**

**I mean I don't, and I'm trying to write her so that you understand her thought pattern, but it's kind of a chapter where I think most of my readers will be madder at her than at Dean.**

**That's not where I stand with it, but I did write it so that Lana had a side you could hate her for, lol…hating Dean and Sam for a little while comes later…well you may hate Sam in this chapter too but you know what, just read it.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

I woke up with a start and I caught my breath, quickly getting out of bed before Dean realized I had had the nightmare again. I threw up in the bathroom from the panic I had felt a few moments ago, and I got into the shower, clothes on, turning on the showerhead and cleaning myself off, even though I was already clean. Then I got out of the shower and tracked water across the floor, walking outside and sitting underneath the tree near the motel.

"What is wrong with me?" I asked myself, looking at my knuckles that were healing rather nicely. "I'm fine, I'm out, so why am I so scared?"

"Lan?" Sam asked me.

I wanted to tell him that I was fine but the words just weren't coming out for me at all and I started to cry instead. Sam took off his jacket, draping it around my shoulders as I looked at his bare feet. How could he come out here in the cold without shoes on? Was he an insane person?

"Sam, you should go inside—it's cold out here." I told him.

Sam knelt in front of me and held my face, me looking him in the eye. "Hey…you're the one who's wet and sitting on the ground."

I couldn't help but smile a little at the stern, loving tone and I nodded, glancing at his feet and then at my wet clothes. Yeah, because _he _was the insane one…I didn't think so. _I _was the insane one and if I didn't get my act together, I was going to have to stop all of this and get some therapy instead of continue hunting.

"I—I can't do this, Sammy." I told him, crying some more, and Sam pulled me to him, holding me tightly and letting me cry into him. "I—there was so much dirt…I ate dirt."

I laughed a little to try and lighten the mood and Sam nodded, running his hands up and down quickly trying to warm me up. He kissed the top of my head and whispered that he and Dean would see me through this if I let them and I nodded—I believed him.

"You're shivering, we should go inside." Sam told me.

I shook my head. "I don't want to go inside yet."

"Lanni…" Sam said soothingly, and there was something in his voice that let me know that I was loved.

Why did he and Dean do this to me? Why did they both have to be so concerned? The most troubling question that popped into my mind was, "Why 'Lanni' and not 'Lan'?" I just couldn't understand why Sam was doing this for me no matter _how _much he loved me. This just seemed more like how Dean would act with me and though it was a little confusing…I liked it.

"We should go on in before you catch cold." Sam told me. "Dean would kill me if I let you get sick."

I nodded and stood up, both of us going into the bedroom, and me changing into dry clothes as Sam went to make me something hot to drink. Annie and Dean were sleeping peacefully and I sighed—they had no idea that anything was even happening. What did that mean? I went out and sat on the couch, Sam coming over with hot chocolate and I smiled at him as he sat down next to me.

"You going to be okay?" Sam asked me.

I smiled at the hot chocolate. "Vanilla ice cream instead of marshmallows."

"You hate marshmallows in hot chocolate." Sam replied with a smile. "So…you sure you're going to be okay?"

"Yeah…yeah I'll be fine." I told him.

He nodded slowly as I nodded and then he stood up as I blew into the cup to cool the hot chocolate before I sipped it. Sam stroked my hair and I closed my eyes a little, and then he started to go back to his bedroom but I couldn't stay quiet—I _had _to speak up. There was pretty much nothing to stop the words from coming out of my mouth.

"Stay with me?" I asked him.

Sam sat down next to me and I set the hot chocolate on the coffee table and laid down, Sam on the outside of the couch holding me, and I buried my head in his chest—he was warm and loving, and I was very happy Sam was here for me. Then again it didn't surprise me that he was here for me…he always was.

"Thank you." I whispered to him.

Sam kissed my head. "You're welcome."

xxxx

When I woke up, I sighed because Sam and Dean were talking angrily to each other, but making it sound like they weren't arguing. I had a really bad feeling that it was about me and I hated that—I really _didn't_ want to be the reason they were yelling. Why couldn't this be easier? Why couldn't this stop being depressing?

_It's been going on for a couple minutes_. Annie said in my head. _Just pretend to still be sleeping so they'll finish the conversation—they need to duke this one out I think_.

"What was I supposed to think, Sam?" Dean asked him.

"She had a nightmare, and she asked me to stay with her—you were sleeping, Dean." Sam explained to him.

Dean scoffed at that. "Oh, so that's really all there was to this, Sam? You had your arms all wrapped around and you both just looked so…is this how it is?"

Dean sounded _so_ hurt by all of this and I didn't want to keep quiet, but at the same time I felt like I shouldn't interrupt just yet. Sam had every right to defend _himself_, and I had every right to _not_ have to step in—Sam and I were innocent here. It was kind of cute Dean was jealous…even though he shouldn't be.

_I didn't want to wake Dean, that's all there was to it_. I told Annie in her head.

"_Lanni, it's okay—I get it_." Annie assured me softly.

"Dean, it's not like that—she _needed_ me, and I was there. This has nothing to do with the two of us having any kind of anything together, Dean." Sam told him, sighing a little.

Dean took a breath. "So you don't love her?"

How could he even _ask_ that question? I was pretty sure that I had made it clear to him that he had nothing to worry about and Sam was always pushing Dean and I to _work things out_. This was getting to be far too much for me and I was about to open my eyes and speak up when I heard Sam answer him.

"Dean, I _do_ love her, but not the way _you_ do." Sam explained to him. "Lanni thinks the _world _of you and she wants to _marry _you. She's my family, Dean, but she's not mine to love and protect and marry like she is yours. She wants _you _and _you _want _her _and I want you two to have each other—can't you be secure enough in that?"

"Oh, so now I'm not secure?" Dean asked Sam loudly. "You _did_ date her, Sam—you had her before I did. Damn-it, Sam, she trusts you! What am I supposed to think when I come out from our bedroom and she you with your arms around her and her all peaceful and _not _with me?"

Sam set his cup down loudly. "Dean, Lanni loves you, and you need to stop feeling so sorry for yourself! She was buried alive! She has gone through a lot of stuff that you should be more supportive about! You're standing here talking to me about petty problems that don't exist, and not going over there to just hold her while she sleeps! You should be worrying about _her _and not sitting here getting angry with me that I was _comforting _her when she _asked _me too! If I had a woman as beautiful and as wonderful as Lanni, I wouldn't be standing there being stupid!"

There it was: the fight I had always thought would come but never did because before it had just all been a given. I was with Dean, I had wanted Dean, and the three of us had known and understood that. But now…now Dean had asked the one question that he had been dying to ask since it all started and I closed my eyes and I ran my fingers along the couch, wishing I had the words to say—Annie had them though.

_He's in love with you_. She said sadly.

I was stunned but found the words. _No he isn't_.

"Stop calling her 'Lanni'." Dean told Sam after a pause, and I heard car keys.

"Dean, where are you going?" Sam asked exasperatedly and Annie got up and went towards the door too.

"We're getting breakfast." Annie replied, and she and Dean left the motel room, leaving me to sit up and sigh as Sam plopped down on the other end of the couch.

He glanced at me and immediately knew that I had heard all of it and he just nodded as I looked at him. This was one fine mess we were in and it was _all_ just one big misunderstanding that needed to be cleared up and soon. I didn't want Dean thinking he was second-fiddle even when he knew deep down that he was just being ridiculous about all of it…he'd come to his sense eventually.

"Thanks for everything." I told Sam softly.

Sam shook his head and put it in his hands. "You shouldn't be thanking me for anything. I just made everyone think that I'm in love with you."

"It's okay. _I_ know you're not." I told him, running my fingers through his hair. "I mean we had sparks, no one can deny that, but our hearts don't match and _that_ is the part that matters."

Sam smiled at me. "Exactly…I just wish everyone _else_ would see that."

Honestly I did too because Sam and I were honestly just trying to be family—we _weren't_ lovers and we _both_ knew that. Yeah once he'd been my boyfriend, and yeah I loved him, and yeah I loved him more than a friend, but my heart belonged to Dean. Sam was there for me, but he wasn't the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and I wanted everyone to understand that—_especially_ Dean.

"When he's calmed down, one of us should talk to him—maybe me." I told Sam, taking a deep breath.

Sam nodded slowly. "That's probably the best idea, Lanni."

"You're calling me 'Lanni'." I said softly.

"I'm just worried more than normal, Lan." Sam explained, shrugging and reverting back to his other nickname for me.

I smiled at him. "I know it's not a secret pining of love, I was just pointing it out."

"Good. So since they left and will probably be too mad to bring us back food, how about I whip us up some waffles?" Sam asked me. "That's the beauty of being in your home."

"_Our _home." I corrected him, wanting him and Dean to think of it as their place too. "And it sounds _lovely_."

"So we're good?" Sam asked, going into the kitchen.

I nodded and smiled at him. "We're fantastic, Sammy."

xxxx

When Dean came back, he and Sam went out for a bit to talk to each other, and ended up being gone for a good couple hours. I was kind of worried about that, but hoping for the best at the same time, and when they came back, Dean was talking about this case he had found, and Sam suggested the four of us go to a bar, and so we complied, Annie and I a little weirded out that Sam had been the one to suggest the idea.

Actually, the two of them were feeling kind of weird to me—like they were them, but both of them were off. Annie was feeling it too, but we just waved it off because honestly _all_ of us were a little more emotionally charged than we should have been and we needed to relax. So we grabbed some beers and then we sat around and talked a bit, Sam flirting.

Annie made a face. "What the Hell is up with Sam?"

"What? _I_ can't go around flirting with people, it doesn't mean Sam can't." Dean protested, sitting at a table, two blondes checking him out.

"I never said you couldn't flirt, Dean." I told him. "I don't care if you do it when we're on a hunt and it needs to be done to get information out of someone."

Dean gave me a look. "You mean like you've been doing?"

I sighed loudly. "Look, Dean, Sam and I had sparks once—I'm not denying it—but I love _you_, and you should know that."

"I do." Dean nodded slowly.

"I mean _I_ did _propose_ to _you_." I reminded him, setting my hand on his.

He smiled and nodded, squeezing my hand tightly. "I know."

It was kind of nice for Dean to admit that he was wrong, but at the same time everything felt kind of weird. Why was he suddenly being all reasonable? I mean I _loved_ it, and it meant that he and Sam had a good talk, but still…and _why_ was Sam going to town with the flirting?

"So what were you two doing?" Annie asked sipping her drink and watching Sam flirt at the same time.

"We talked a bit about this morning. As always h—I got a little overdramatic." Dean explained with a shrug.

I raised an eyebrow. "And you're admitting it?"

"Yeah…that's not really like me, is it?" He asked me with a chuckle.

"Not at all." I replied shaking my head. "You usually have some witty remark like, 'What are talking about, I'm beautiful'."

I smiled at him to let him know that I appreciated him, and then I focused all of my attention on him when he looked at me. He was focusing on me and he had that look on his dace—that 'I need to apologize' face and for some reason even the _look_ was different…

"Look, Lanni…I'm really sorry about this morning." Dean began with a soft sigh. "I was jealous of the relationship you and Sammy have, and I know that I shouldn't be, because you love me, and I love you…I just can't always see past my own stupidity sometimes and I'm sorry for upsetting you."

"I love you too, Baby." I smiled and kissed him softly, but something was different—he wasn't all there. "You okay?"

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine." Dean replied with a nod. "What makes you think I'm not?"

"Nothing." I told him, shrugging it off. "You just still seem mad, I guess."

Sam came over to us. "So what was that?"

"Lanni and Dean made up." Annie replied her and I looking at each other since jealousy had crept into Sam's voice.

Something strange was _definitely_ going on here and I had _no_ idea what to make of it. I mean suddenly Dean was being thoughtful and he was realizing he was wrong and Sam was _upset_? Why in the world did _Sam_ have _any_ reason to be upset? What the _Hell_ was going on around here?

Sam smiled though. "Good! Finally owning up and being a man about your feelings?"

"Are you two okay, because you're both acting _really_ strange?" I told them.

Dean smiled at me. "We're fine, Lanni."

"Okay…" I said slowly. "So what's this case?"

"A demon possessed this old woman we ran into today, and we have to track her down—it has to do with _the_ demon." Sam explained. "I had a vision and what-not, and we all know what that means."

"I get to be an ass and you get to be a solver." Dean replied, both of them giving each other looks.

"You know it's good you two are realizing things about yourselves, but now is not the time." Annie told them slowly. "Let's focus, please."

Annie and I both gave each other looks when they started to try and talk to each other with their eyes practically, and then I took a deep breath. I needed to find out _exactly_ what was going on, but unless I spoke up about it, we would never know. Unfortunately, Sam started to talk before I could, so I just shut my mouth and let him.

"Well, I need to talk to Dean really quick, so hold on." Sam told us suddenly, and he dragged Dean up and Annie looked at me as they walked away.

"They are actually totally weird." Annie said as she made a face.

I nodded slowly. "This isn't my fault is it?"

"I don't think this has anything to do with the fight this morning." Annie admitted to me. "It's just a demon thing and they're—edgier than normal."

"I'll believe that—only because otherwise I'm just going to be weirded out." I admitted, chewing on my lip a little and then looking up as the boys approached us.

Dean pointed to Sam. "Well, Sammy here has a lead."

"Dean? Can Annie go with him to look into it while we talk?" I asked him and Dean and Sam exchanged looks.

"Um…yeah." Dean replied finally. "Sure."

xxxx

Back at the motel, Dean twiddled his thumbs and I sighed—this was feeling awkward and strange. I mean I _never_ had awkward silences with Dean, but he was sitting on the couch away from me, avoiding eye contact.

"Do you think this is working?" I asked him.

Dean looked at me from his seat on the couch. "What? Of course it is."

I went over to him and sat on his lap, looking him in the eye. They were still so hazel and beautiful—they were just more calm and nervous than normal. It wasn't the same strong, determined, self-confident gaze, but he stroked my hair and I smiled.

"There's something I think we need to do." I whispered, kissing him softly, and again the kiss was lacking something…but what?

"What's that?" He asked dumbly.

I smiled at him. "Well, if my memory serves me correctly, we haven't slept together since before I slept with Lance…"

Dean got more nervous. "You really think we should be thinking about that while Sam and Annie are on an assignment?"

"Dean? When have you ever cared what they were doing?" I asked him. "I mean I know I may be sounding a little heartless or selfish, but I—come on, now…it's an offer of sex…with _me_…"

I looked at him a moment and then I unbuttoned my shirt, Dean glancing at my buttons and swallowing. Okay…what was up with him and why was he _nervous_? I mean this was _just _sex! This was something that Dean and I were _completely _used to do with each other, so why was he acting like it _wasn't _normal? Was he still mad at me? Did I still have more that I needed to explain to him? I just wasn't comprehending what was going on at all.

"Are you okay?" I asked him. "Because I'm starting to think that we're falling apart."

Dean sighed and kissed me, and there was something there—not what was missing—but a new something. There was so much more love and care and concern in this kiss than I remembered having lately, and I had to return it. Even though the kiss was kind of innocent…but innocent in that it reminded me a little of Sam.

"Are you okay, Dean?" I asked him as our lips parted, and I felt slightly breathless.

"I love you." Dean replied as he nodded slowly. "Let's move this somewhere…else."

I smiled and we went into the bedroom, kissing each other and smiling a little, me running my fingers through his hair. He was so gentle and kind, and though normally Dean was a little more rough and forceful, this was slow and calm. Right before anything major happened though, he stopped and pulled back, shaking his head.

"Lanni, I can't do this. He is going to _kill _me for this but, I'm not Dean—I'm Sammy." Sam told me.

My eyes widened. "Wait a minute…what?"

"Dean and I switched bodies and he told me not to tell you and to make you happy but this is definitely _not_ okay." Sam said, getting off of me.

"Oh my God…" I whispered, pulling the covers up around me. "I'm not even going to get mad because I know why he told you to pretend and be him—because he's an _idiot_ and he thinks that _you're_ what I want."

Dean shook his head. "I shouldn't have let it go even _this_ far—I should have said something before."

"Well yeah, but…lets go to the bar again and see if Dean and Annie are there, all right?" I asked him, getting up and getting dressed.

Dean nodded at me and I realized that it all kind of fit—no, it all _definitely_ fit. Sam and Dean had switched bodies and Dean thought he could get through it all himself and he couldn't…he needed Annie and I to help switch them back, the idiot. Sam…Sam I would get to at a later time because I was confused—I was confused because it wasn't like Sam to just go after me in Dean's body because Dean _told_ him too…so what was going on with him?

I decided not to ask, and the two of us just went to the bar and we found Annie who pointed over to Sam—who of course was really Dean—chatting up two girls at once. I didn't care if he was in Sam's body…what in the world was Dean _doing_? He and I were still _engaged_ and all of this could have been figured out _so_ much faster if he and Sam had simply _told_ Annie and what was going on.

"But isn't it hard?" The blonde asked him.

I walked right up to him and got in between him and the girls. "Dean Winchester, I am _so_ upset with you, you have _no_ idea!"

"Who is this?" The redhead asked him.

"Look, he's mine so I need you to back off and let me fight with him. Goodbye." I told them and gave them looks, whirling on Sam again. "Where in the _Hell_ do you get off telling Sam to be you?"

Sam growled a little. "He _told_ you."

"Yeah! Because I was trying to get him to have sex with me because I thought he was you!" I exclaimed angrily.

Sam's eyes showed that of surprise and then he composed himself and he sighed, nodding at me. He knew he had been wrong, and he was glad that Sam had stopped me from sleeping with him…but he didn't know _when_. Sam and I had gotten pretty far but Dean didn't need to know that—it wasn't important.

"What could possibly have made you two switch bodies?" Annie asked, having joined us with Sam in Dean's body.

"The woman we're looking for." Dean explained to us. "She switched us, so Dean's in my body, and I'm in his."

I nodded slowly. "Wow…why the Hell didn't you tell us what was going on? We could have had this problem fixed sooner you know."

"I just—I thought that Sam was making you happy, and I thought that maybe if he stayed in my body until we figured it out, and he made you feel better, you'd be happier with me." Sam told me with a sigh.

"You're an idiot." I told him softly.

Sam nodded softly. "It has been said."

I opened my mouth to say something, but I closed it and just shook my heads because I knew that I couldn't say anything. I mean sure I was sad that Dean actually thought he wasn't enough for me, and that I had almost betrayed Dean, but there was something about Sam in his body that had actually been _nice _and I was _so _mad at myself for that. They were both so _good _to me and now I was confused…and I wasn't supposed to be confused.

"Dean, if we can't even know when something is seriously wrong or when we need to just be there for each other, what good are we _to_ each other?" I asked slowly.

"Lanni…don't say that. We're perfect for each other." He told me, and I wanted to believe him and I opened my mouth to say something, Annie took a deep breath.

She looked at us. "Guys…I found a lead."

xxxx

_**Third Person**_

"_Look, Sam, I __**know**__ that you and Lanni had something, but I she's the first girl that I've really fallen for, and we're getting married." Dean explained to his brother._

_Sam nodded at him. "Dean, I get that—I __**really**__ do. I just—I think that you should be more alert. I mean I knew something was wrong, and you didn't—Lan needs to feel like fate is on her side."_

"_God you know everything, don't you?" Dean asked him._

_Dean knew he had no reason to be jealous but he couldn't help how he was feeling—he felt like he was losing her. She had been buried a live, he had pushed her really far away, and then he had found her in Sam's arms. She had been in his and sometime in the middle of the night she had had a problem and picked __**Sam**__…and Dean couldn't get past it…at all._

_Sam sighed loudly. "Dean…I'm not __**in love**__ with her. If you were me I'm sure you'd try to make your brother's girlfriend happy by comforting her and in turn helping out your brother, wouldn't you? God if you knew what it was like being me."_

"_If you only knew what it was like to be me, Sammy." Dean replied quickly._

"_Would you kind fellows like to buy some flowers from a poor old woman?" An old woman on the street asked._

_Sam smiled at her. "Sure."_

_Dean gave Sam a look—flowers? Now? Sam just wanted to change the subject from the conversation that they were having, and so why not buy flowers from an old lady? There was no harm in it. So he bought some flowers from her and smelled them, making a face._

"_Interesting." Sam said softly._

"_Enjoy them." The woman told them with a toothless grin, and it was slightly ominous._

"_Smell them." Sam insisted, shoving the flowers in Dean's face._

_Dean frowned and pushed them away after catching a whiff. "Unlike you, Sam, I'm not flamboyant."_

_Sam made a face and then they both stood there for a second, feeling a little woozy, falling on the sidewalk, knocked out cold. A few people caught sight of them and pulled out their phones, but the two got up after a moment or two and both looked at each other as they composed themselves. They made different exclamations and then stared at each other, wide-eyed._

"_Why the Hell are you wearing my face, Sammy?" Sam asked him._

_Dean closed his eyes. "This isn't good."_

"_What the __**Hell**__ kind of flowers are these?" Sam asked, looking at the fallen flowers._

"_Maybe we should ask that old woman." Dean replied, and the two of them looked everywhere for her, but found nothing._

_Dean took a deep breath. "Don't you dare tell Lanni or Annie we're like this—they don't need to know right now."_

"_Why not, Dean?" Dean asked him._

"_Because things are already weird between Lanni and I—make her know I'm sorry and I care, and if you so much as put more wedges between Lanni and I, I'm going to kill you. Hey…I'm a giant." Sam said a little happier._

_Dean shook his head. "Dean, I don't think that keeping this from them is a good idea."_

"_Well no-one asked you." Sam told him._

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Following Annie's lead, we all went to this house and rung the doorbell, all of us waiting there. We were all out of sorts and in a funk due to everything that had happened. Things between the four of us would never be the same. These bonds we were making were going to last forever—whether we wanted them to or not.

"I was wondering when you guys would show up to get switched back." Victoria said happily, answering the door.

"Vicki! You didn't!" Annie exclaimed.

Victoria shrugged and let us in, putting up a force field as Sam went for her, getting knocked down to the ground. Dean was kind of pissed off still that Victoria had buried me alive and I sighed, holding Annie back. She took a deep breath and she nodded slowly, looking at me.

"It was fun. Yeah, yeah, I know—fun is stupid. Tell me something I don't know, Annie." Victoria sighed and handed the boys some potions. "I just couldn't resist because when I talked to Lana that while back, I saw in her memories that she and Sam had had something, and knowing Dean was a bit unstable and stupid, I figured I could get my kicks this way, and judging by the looks you're giving me, Lana did something she shouldn't have done, meaning my job is complete."

"Victoria, can you please just shut your Demi-God mouth, please?" I asked her.

Victoria laughed loudly. "I'm done now, Lana, don't worry. Have fun, okay kids? And if you don't drink those potions…you're stuck each other forever."

With that said, Victoria disappeared into think air and I sighed. "Drink up, and Annie…if we're dealing with a Demi-God, then we need to pull out the big guns…okay? I have a feeling she wants to _stay _in our lives."

She nodded as the boys drank the vials and fell on the ground with a loud thud, both of them knocked out. Annie and I looked at each other and then knelt down by the boys, deciding to just wait until they got up. After a few moments they got up and brushed themselves off, both of them smiling at each other, Annie and I waiting for our answer.

"Damn it's good to be in my own body again." Dean said grinning from ear to ear.

Annie raised her eyebrows. "How do we know it's really you?"

"Annie, no one fits this sexalicious body but me." Dean replied with a wink.

"Unfortunately, it's him." I told her, and we laughed.

Annie nodded. "So…moving on now?"

"Absolutely. Let's get out of here." Sam said, and he and Annie went past us, Sam and I locking eye contact and the look said it all—we'd talk.

There was a lot to fix after this and I wasn't sure how we were going to do it because things were more complicated. How come I was finally happy and then all of this crap had to happen? How come none of us _ever_ got to _stay_ happy for any long amount of time? It was _completely_ ridiculous.

"Are we okay?" I asked Dean.

Dean kissed me softly, and I felt love and care, and suddenly I felt confused again—I mean this meant we were fine, but were we? I would have slept with Sam in Dean's body had Sam not stopped us and I had to keep that on my conscience. So what was happening? How was I going to do this? How was I supposed to tell Dean and _fix_ this?

xxxx

I woke up that night to something different—Annie was gone and Sam and Dean were pacing, talking to each other in the kitchen area. Where had she gone? Why hadn't she said goodbye? What was going on?

"She just left a note?" Dean asked Sam.

"Yeah, she said she had business to take care of—things she had to finish." Sam explained.

"What do we tell Lanni?" Dean asked him in a softer voice.

Sam sighed loudly. "I don't know. She just found her. I think—I think it has something to do with their mother."

"What about their mother?" Dean asked, his voice changing.

I heard a chair leg scratch across the floor and I thought about that—it actually made sense that Annie would run off to find Mom. Our mother knew the true identity of our father and with all the weird things going on with her, Annie needed answers. I had just wished that she had told me something about it and I stepped into the kitchen.

"Before she left, she muttered something about finding her mother." Sam admitted to him.

I nodded slowly. "And so it begins…she's probably looking for Dad."

"But her father is dead." Dean protested, looking over at me as I walked into the room in my pajamas, Sam looking up as he sat in the chair. "You _told_ us that."

"Did she say where Mom was?" I asked, avoiding that question because I was about to make things between Dean and I _so_ much worse, but he needed to know.

Sam and Dean gave me looks and so I just nodded and hurried to the room and started packing. I could probably catch up with Annie at this point if I focused hard enough and used my powers. Dean was the first to come into the room and he rested his hand on mine as the tears came to my eyes.

"If she left this morning, I still have time to catch up to her." I told Dean.

"Lanni…look at me." Dean said, and I looked up at him slowly as he wrapped his arms around me. "What is going on?"

I bit my lip and I looked at Dean's chest, wishing I had the heart to say what I had to say next. I didn't, but I had to come clean because there were so many times that I had _wanted_ to say something about this but I hadn't. This was the perfect time…the perfect time to explain _everything_ to him.

"I've been lying to you—from the beginning." I replied.

Dean rested his fingers under my chin and I looked him in the eye. "Come again?"

"I've always known that Annie and I were different." I told him. "Annie's been through three sets of parents, and I've been through two. Our father—our real father—he did have special qualities…but he wasn't a werewolf—our mother was, but I _told _you that. Bethany and Marcus were given me and Annie by out mother, who stayed with us for a little while and then left because she thought she was endangering us—that our father could find us through her, so she had to stay as far away from us as possible. Then Annie was attacked by the Shtriga and Marcus shipped Annie off to keep her safe, and I got into the whole hunting and magic business."

Dean's eyes were getting intense, and I had to look away again, and I let go of him. "What was your father?"

I swallowed against the lump in my throat and I wiped away the tears that were coming to my eyes. Everything was about to fall apart—everything was about to completely unravel and I couldn't stop it. If he was going to marry me, and he was going to be willing to possible figure out other ways to have a baby with me he _had_ to know my heritage…and he had to know it now.

"A very powerful demon." I said firmly. "All of these powers I have—the fireballs, the force fields, the moving people with my mind—Annie and I are naturals because of our heritage…the magic _and_ being half demon."

"Lanni…we're…" He began, and he backed up a little bit and looked at me with a look I don't think I'd ever seen him look at me with—with such disgust and love. "I can't."

I nodded slowly. "Does Sam know which way Annie went?"

I tried not to let him hear the way my voice was cracking but how could I help it? Dean was giving up on us and I could see it in his eyes—he couldn't handle this. He _hunted_ demons—he _hated_ demons—why would _I_ be _any_ different for him?

"How could you keep this from me?" Dean asked me.

I collapsed on the bed. "I'm not my father, Dean."

"We can't—you can't—" Dean was saying.

"Dean, I'm _not_ evil—Hell, I fight _agains_t it. Why do you think I'm so good at sensing demons, Dean? Why do you think Annie's so good at it? Why do you think we're so good at knowing when something bad is going to happen?" I asked him. "Why do you think Annie felt so at home with Victoria?"

"I have to take a drive." Dean said, taking a small jewelry box out of his pocket and dropping it on the floor before leaving the room, leaving me to the conclusion that I was right—things just fell apart.

I didn't even go for the jewelry box but I had a feeling that I knew what it was—a ring, or a pair of earrings. All I could do right then was sit on my bed and cry, my head in my hands, the sobs coming out. Dean and I were never going to be the same and I didn't know what that meant for our relationship.

"Dean?" Sam asked, and he came into the room as I cried there.

Sam knelt down in front of me and rested his hands on mine, one hand running up my side and stroking my hair. It was weird because Sam and I hadn't talked to each other since he and Dean had switched bodies—he'd kept our distance, and here was the loving touch again. Why was _Sam_ always here to comfort me no matter what? Dean comforted me, and I knew I belonged with him, but Sam had _never_ faltered when it came to me being in need.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked me.

I looked at him. "I—I'm not what I look like, Sammy. You should have gone with Dean and left me to find my sister."

"Having demon blood doesn't mean you're evil." Sam whispered and wiped the tears off of my face and kissed me softly, pulling away a little to look me in the eye. "You're not your father, all right?"

"Sam?" I asked in a whisper as his face came closer to mine.

"Lanni?" He asked me, and I looked into those soft, caring eyes of his, and kissed him softly, even though I shouldn't have.

He was Sammy—he was always here no matter what. Always telling me I was beautiful. Always making sure I was all right. Always loving me. Always caring about me. Always gathering me up in his arms when I was hurting. He was my Dean when Dean wasn't being the Dean he'd become now that we loved each other…what was I doing?

"Lanni?" Sam asked me, pulling back from me.

I shook my head. "Please don't stop me."

"You sure?" He asked, and I kissed him in reply, erasing all doubt from my mind as I pulled him closer to me and he kissed me lovingly.

We weren't supposed to be doing this—we weren't supposed to be kissing each other and getting each other out of our clothes. It's just that once we stopped talking and ignored all of the thoughts running through our heads and the voices telling us not to do this, everything just felt…better. But, uh…I shouldn't have _slept_ with _Sam_…

Still, I ran my fingers along Sam's bare chest and rested in the crook of his arm because he was holding me still. I felt so peaceful there, and even though we'd just done something we couldn't very well erase, he was still _here_ for me. I regretted this, but I had done it and I had to live with the consequences.

"I shouldn't have taken advantage of you." Sam whispered, kissing the top of my head.

I shushed him and looked up at him. "I think I was the advantage taker."

Sam shook his head. "You and Dean _just_ had a fight. I shouldn't have come in here and let this go this far."

I smiled and kissed him softly. "Hey…you made me feel better, like you always do. You were here for me at my lowest point…"

"The way Dean used to be?" Sam asked softly when I trailed off.

He had to bring it up like that, didn't he? We'd just done something _really_ stupid, and I knew I had to own up to it, but I didn't know what to do. I had just hurt Dean and I could _never_ undo this and I was really upset about it.

"I need to listen to a song." I told him.

He gave me a look, but I opened up my laptop and turned on my music, randomizing it and letting a song play. Dean and I actually had a song too, so I was feeling even worse, and when one of my songs played, I knew that every time I heard it, I would think of Sam. I glanced at him as he lay in the bed with his head on the pillow, and I took in a breath but didn't say anything—we just listened to it.

**I've been searching for a reason**

**And I'm running out of time**

**I can feel that it's the season**

**It's time to make up my mind**

**And I can't really tell you what I'm gonna do**

**There are so many thoughts in my head**

**There are two roads to walk down and one road to choose**

**So I'm thinking over the things that you've said**

**Thinking over the things…**

**I'm thinking over**

**Thinking over**

**Thinking over**

**The things that you've said**

**And I'm thinking over**

**Thinking over**

**Thinking over the things…**

**Am I ready for forever?**

**Oh, God, show me a sign**

'**Cause if we're to be together**

**Then it's got to be divine**

**And I can't really tell you what I'm gonna do**

**There are so many thoughts in my head**

**There are two roads to walk down and one road to choose**

**So I'm thinking over the things that you've said**

**Thinking over the things…**

**I'm thinking over**

**Thinking over**

**Thinking over**

**The things that you've said**

**And I'm thinking over**

**Thinking over**

**Thinking over the things…**

**He wants to marry me**

**Carry me far away**

**He wants to love me for life**

**He wants to be with me**

**Every morning I awake**

**He wants to hold me through the night**

**Father, which way should I go?**

**I cannot clearly see**

**Oh, I love him so**

**But only you know if he's the one for me**

**Thinking over**

**The things that you've said**

**I'm thinking over**

**Thinking over**

**Only you know if he's the one for me**

**I can't really tell you**

**What I'm gonna do**

**There are so many thoughts in my head**

**There are two roads to walk down**

**And one road to choose**

**So I'm thinking over**

**The things that you've said**

**Thinking over**

**Thinking over**

Sam stroked my hair and then he whispered that he was sorry and he got up to get dressed, me following suit. We both needed to figure out where to go from here, but I didn't know how to bring that up. I had just slept with Sam and I couldn't take it back and I was engaged to _Dean_…I was _in love_ with _Dean_.

"So now we forget this ever happened." Sam told me.

I nodded slowly. "We erase it…so did Annie say where she was going, Sammy?" I asked him and he shook his head and fixed up the bed as I went over to the mirror and brushed my hair.

"No…and I don't know how long she's going to be gone." Sam told me and then he left the room, only to come back after a little while. "Lan?"

"Yeah?" I asked him.

Sam took a breath. "It's Jen."

xxxx

It turned out Jen was having a serious problem—the twins were missing. So right when Annie decided to go off and take care of things, Jen showed up to travel with us. Why was _Jen _having problems too? Wasn't her husband _just _kidnapped? Hadn't we _fixed _it so that _no one else _in her family would get taken? She and Kevin were having problems and Dean and I were having problems, and I held her as she was silent.

"We'll find them. I promise." I told her.

Jen just nodded. "I trust you. So…what's wrong with Dean?"

"He…I told him about how my father was a demon and he walked out because he can't handle it." I explained to her.

"Honey…he'll come around." She told me, stroking my hair.

"Maybe." I said with a shrug.

She looked me in the eye and sat up straight, giving me that look she was so good at giving me. She _knew_ that something was up with me and I knew what was coming before she even asked me. I took a deep breath and I tried to look alive, waiting for her to ask me what she wanted to ask me.

"Is there something you need to tell me, Lan?" Jen asked me.

I shook my head and stood up, smoothing down my shirt. "What? No."

"Lan…" She said sternly.

"I'm unnerved because I told the truth, and Dean ran out, but Sam was understanding about it all." I admitted to her. "It's just…it sucks. My whole life right now, just sucks."

"Lanni…you didn't…_do_ anything, did you?" Jen asked me slowly.

I just shook my head because I didn't want anyone but Sam and I to know what happened between us. Sam and I had already decided this hadn't happened, so why bring it up? I knew she was my best friend, and I knew that Dean had a right to know what had happened, but there was no reason to bring up more drama.

"I'm just sad that Dean and I can't patch this one up." I replied with another shrug, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Have you tried talking to him?" Jen asked me calmly.

I shook my head. "We haven't talked since he took his drive. You're married, Jen—how do you deal with fights with Kev?"

"We tend to yell and then go out by ourselves." Jen told me with a small sigh and then she shrugged and shook her head a little. "Then we talk and we snuggle, and sometimes we put the girls to bed."

I tucked my hair behind my ear and I nodded. "So in order to be happy, Dean and I just have to fight, talk, snuggle, and have make-up sex."

"You didn't fight?" Jen asked me.

"Not really. He just kind of left then came back with you." I explained to her.

"You seem okay." Jen pointed out. "How'd you get over it?"

I shrugged. "Sam and I talked…hung out a bit."

I looked over at the stereo and I turned it on, Jen standing up and coming over to me, grabbing my arm. Jen knew something else was up but I didn't _want_ her to know that because I was really not happy about this. Couldn't I keep this to myself? Did I have to be so transparent?

"You didn't sleep with him, did you? You didn't get your make-up sex fix when Dean ran off and then pretended that nothing changed between you and Sam did you?" Jen asked me sternly and I looked her in the eye, and I felt so bad about my next move, but I had to do it.

"Of course I didn't, Jen." I told her, and I poured the sincerity into my voice.

Jen nodded slowly. "I just want to make sure that you're not biting off more than you can chew. I mean sleeping with Sam could have started this new thing because in all reality you guys never really _ended_ anything. You two broke off because you were falling for Sam and he was letting you go and…I was actually starting to think that the two of you loved each other."

I just shook my head and shrugged and she nodded and left the room, me taking a deep breath. I made sure she was _completely _out of the room before I sat on the bed, sighing loudly—I was in such a mess! What the _Hell _had I been thinking? What had _Sam _been thinking? Why couldn't I have just pushed all of my doubts away and trusted in Dean? Why? Why was it so _hard _for us to make this work?

"There you are!" Jen exclaimed when Dean walked into the motel room. "I was starting to think that you no longer existed.

"Jen, you want to go and get food?" Dean asked, and he completely avoided eye contact with me, smiling at Jen. "Sam and I want to actually go out and eat."

Jen shook her head. "I think I'll stay with Lan."

"It's okay, Jen." I told her smiling. "I know that you want to catch up with them, so go on without me. I'll be fine, I promise. I have an old motel television, some cookie dough in the fridge, and Annie's supposed to call tonight."

"You sure?" Jen asked as I looked at Dean, who wasn't looking at me.

I nodded and forced a smile. "Yeah…maybe some good horror movie will come on. Or Buffy! I haven't watched Buffy in a _long_ time. I think I always liked that even though Angel was you know, a demonic vampire, he was good, and Buffy loved him."

"Angel also couldn't get happy." Dean said, not looking at me.

"Love isn't always about getting happy, Dean. It's about trust and respect and communication." I told him.

He looked at me. "Which we seem to have a _terrific_ grasp on."

"Sam's waiting for you in the car." I said, turning on the stereo so he would get the hint that I was still mad at him for not trying to work this out with me.

Unfortunately, _our _song came on and I realized that I really needed it not to because now wasn't the time. The first time Dean and I had actually laid around cuddling after sex we'd turned on my laptop and I'd played music—the first song that had come on was _**You're All I Have**_ by Snow Patrol. Dean noticed my face, his face softening, but I turned off the stereo and Dean left the room, Jen sighing.

"You'll work it out." She told me.

I just nodded and she left the room, so I went out into the living room area and I sat on the couch, listening to Dean, Sam and Jen driving away, and I turned the television on. There were some Buffy re-runs on, and so I watched the episode where she and Angel were trying to pretend nothing was between them anymore, and Faith and Zander tried to kill him. Then Sam walked in the door and I smiled at him, wondering why he was here and the other two weren't, but still genuinely happy to see him.

"How was dinner?" I asked him.

Sam shrugged softly. "Pretty good, and then Dean and Jen wanted to go to the bar, and I walked back to check on you. You eat enough cookie dough?"

I laughed and Sam sat next to me as I turned off Buffy. "I'm doing pretty good Sammy, thanks for caring." I said, and stood up, Sam doing the same. "Hey…can we talk before Jen and Dean come back?"

"Of course." Sam replied, and I took his hands in mine.

"When you were in Dean's body, and you said you loved me…were you pretending, or were you serious?" I asked him.

I hadn't even thought to ask Sam that question until I had the time to myself to think about all of it. Sam ran his thumbs along my hands and took a deep breath and then he smiled a little. It was kind of that joking smile and at the same time I knew that he and I understood each other—that we were _on the same page_.

"I _do_ love you, Lanni, but I know you're in love with Dean and I'm _not_ in love with you. You and I, we have this relationship that is hard to explain—I love you more than a sister, but less than a lover. Does this make any sense?" Sam asked me.

I nodded slowly. "I completely understand."

"Then we have nothing to worry about here…not between the two of us." Sam told me as he smiled a little more when I nodded and agreed with him.

"I don't want to tell them…but I think he needs to know." I said softly, looking Sam in the eye.

Sam sighed but he nodded and I nodded too, both of us knowing this wasn't going to end well. Telling Dean meant that we had to deal with Dean's fear in the first place about this: Sam's and my past. The thing we had to focus on was getting Dean to understand that Sam and I were _never_ going to do this _again_.

"Is our friendship going to change here, Lan?" Sam asked me.

I shook my head and squeezed his hands. "Oh, Sammy, that's not going to change. We're always going to be good friends—best friends even…I _refuse_ to lose our friendship. You know, I blame you for this complication." I told him, smiling a little. "If you hadn't been so damned caring and worried about me, we wouldn't be in this predicament."

He nodded and laughed. "Yes, but you wanted fruit too."

"Okay…so it takes two to tango." I admitted with a sigh.

"Talk to him." Sam told me, kissing my forehead.

I nodded slowly. "It needs to be done."

xxxx

Sam took Jen out to go and take a drive and I looked things up on my laptop when she and Dean got back from the bar. I was pretty busy trying to keep myself busy because Dean still wasn't looking at me, and I tried not to let it get to me, but it was. Yes, I had made a mistake sleeping with Sam, but Sam and I were patched up—we were good. There was nothing else there—we had talked to each other and we had gotten through the awkwardness there had been with _each other _and all that was left was Dean and I working things out…and in turn Dean and _Sam _working things out.

"I'm sick of this." Dean said, and I looked up suddenly.

"What?" I asked slowly.

"You not talking to me." Dean replied immediately.

I got off of the bed. "You're not talking to me either—or looking at me, I might add."

"How could you not have told me?" Dean asked angrily.

I sighed loudly and ran my fingers through my hair, looking for the words—I didn't have them. There was nothing that I could say to him that would make _anything_ that had come out today _any_ better at _all_. My father was a demon, I had slept with Sam…I just needed to cut Sam and Dean out of my life and let them move on without me.

"Dean, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before." I told him softly.

"That's not what I asked. I asked _why_ you never told me." Dean explained to me.

"Because I figured you wouldn't take it well." I admitted with a shrug. "I mean there were times that I wanted to, but I'd get interrupted, or something bad would happen and I didn't want to make the situation any worse."

Dean nodded slowly. "And to think, I was ready to propose." He told me.

"Dean…I _already _proposed." I said and I sighed when he nodded.

We had just hit that barrier I had been afraid of all this time—it was like I had lied to get close to them. It was almost like I had lied and then gotten them to accept me so I could use them in some evil plan of mine. Dean probably felt like shit because he had let me in—he had fallen in love with me and I had betrayed him in more ways than one…I _didn't _deserve him.

"I bought you a ring." He told me softly.

I nodded slowly and took a breath. "I don't think we can fix this, this time, Dean."

"You know all about my parents." Dean told me, continuing. "I have told you _everything_ that you needed to know. I mean there are things I haven't told you about my past, but they're _nothing_ like this. They're like hunts, and ex-girlfriends that you don't want to hear about, but _this_…I made-out with a girl in the bar tonight before Jen smacked me upside the head."

"I deserve that and I can't be mad about it because I slept with Sammy when you stormed out. He comforted me, I got carried away, and I tried to get rid of the hurt." I told him with a nod, the tears coming. "We hit a bump in the road that was _huge_…and I ruined _everything_."

Dean nodded, taking it all in and I could see all of the pain and the hurt in his eyes as he stood there. He was getting teary-eyed and I had some tears sliding down my cheeks and we just stood there in silence. I had hoped to ease him into it better, but this was how it was all happening and I couldn't stop it now.

"Dean, tell me how I can start trying to make this better." I told him. "I don't _want_ to fight with you…I want to fix this, even though I know that—"

"—there's no fixing this, Lanni." Dean said, cutting me off. "You slept with my brother, and you slept with Lance, _both_ of whom were your ex-boyfriends. I'm starting to think that this is _far _too hard."

I nodded slowly. "So you're saying you want me to go?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying." Dean shook his head. "You and I can't go back to where we were. We don't know each other like we should know each other, and we shouldn't be getting married."

"So you're saying you want to break up?" I asked him.

Dean looked me in the eye and the hurt in his voice broke me. "I'm saying I don't trust you."

I nodded slowly, more tears coming as my lips quivered and I tried to stay as calm as possible. He didn't trust me…why should he? I had betrayed him and I didn't belong with him—everything was against us and I couldn't stop that no matter how hard I tried. This was just the way that things were going to be now and I was going to have to work to get that trust back.

"Okay." I told him, my voice cracking a little.

Dean nodded slowly. "I still love you."

I just nodded and walked out of the room, knowing that he was trying to make me hurt less, but I hurt more. Dean _loved_ me—he _loved_ me and I didn't deserve his love…especially when he could love me and _not_ trust me all at the same time…

**Note: And there you have it—trouble in paradise because I'm starting to believe that I'm actually **_**as evil**_** as **_**Eric Kripke**_**. The next chapter is an episodic chapter, as is the chapter after it, and the chapter after that one is the saddest chapter I have **_**ever**_** written…so…don't worry, I will keep you guys warned, all right? How did you like this 25 pager? Feedback is always appreciated!**


	41. Learning to Cope

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I knew you guys would hate Lana and though I don't, I'm biased cause I wrote her and I know everything that's to come and everything in the past and blah, blah, blah.**

**Just know that I do **_**not **_**condone what she did, I just don't hate her—she **_**does **_**have to redeem herself, and her climb to redemption with Dean starts now.**

**I like writing angst, and darkness, and sadness, and betrayal and basically the emotional things, so I apologize now, but at the same time know that about me because all of my stories have darkness and angst…and lots of it.**

**This chapter is…angsty but I **_**promise**_** you that there will be some fluff soon.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

It had been a few weeks since all of the drama had happened—since Dean and I had argued about his ridiculous feeling like he couldn't be happy and me sleeping with Sam. Dean and I were at least still staying close to each other and he was there when I needed him…Sam was backing off. Still, I was really annoyed that Dean felt like he wasn't worth anything, and I was really upset with myself for ruining things farther by sleeping with Dean.

I looked over at Sam as he and Dean slept, Sam on his bed, and Dean next to me with his arm draped over me, his hand on my stomach. It used to hurt that he automatically did that when he slept since I couldn't have a baby, but now I didn't care anymore. He wanted to protect me and I didn't mind that he wanted that because it showed me that even though our trust was still pretty broken, he was trying to be there for me but why?

On top of that, Kevin had called—Jen had come to us because Kevin had left, and now he had a lead on the girls and she was going to go and patch things up with him. This had been quite the year for Jen and me, but that's not even the best part. No, now our team consisted of Dean, Sam, me…and Lance.

Yeah. Lance. My ex, Lance. The one that Dean hates, Lance. Lance and I had a complicated history—okay, not complicated at all. Lance and I had been friends since we were 5, and we dated for three years then he proposed at graduation and I turned him down. We dropped out of contact, and then I saw him again, got drunk, slept with him, and then he brought us a case and now? Now he's with Sam, Dean and I, and sleeping on the couch in the motel room because who found the case? Sam and Lance.

Getting Dean to agree to Lance coming along was hard too because of all of the past that we all had with him now. The only reason Dean agreed had nothing to do with Lance being on this case first—it had to do with me promising that the next spare time I had would be spent with him, and only him. So it was kind of working out, but at the same time I knew that Dean had only _really_ said 'yes' because Sam said we could use his help…Dean was just caving for me to show me things hadn't changed…even though we _both_ knew that they had—a _lot_.

"Sleep, Lanni. You haven't slept in days." Dean whispered to me.

I sighed and turned to look at him. "I just—Annie hasn't called. I'm worried about her. I mean what if she's hurt or something?"

I knew that reason was true, but I was thinking more about how Dean and I were so incredibly broken. In fact that was _all_ that I could think about. I mean he and Sam had a huge blow-out about the sleeping with me thing, and though the three of us had finally stopped talking about it and Dean had forgiven Sam and me, things were still kind of weird between us. They were kind of _always_ going to be weird between us now, but I wanted to fix it—I wanted to fix it _so_ badly.

Dean stroked my hair. "Annie's going to be fine."

I nodded and then I turned back over because for the last few weeks I'd been trying to get used to the fact that he and I had so much mending to do—so much work ahead of us. I was scared we weren't going to make it—especially since the proposal had been taken back. We were officially _not_ engaged anymore…in fact we weren't even dating anymore…I was just sharing his bed with him because I wasn't going to share a bed with Sam and that was all there was to it.

"It's about time to go, isn't it?" Lance asked, poking his head in the room.

Dean made an angry face and I spoke up quickly. "Go grab some food and when you get back the three of us will be ready, okay?"

"All right, Lan-Bon." Lance told me, and Dean sat up and glared in Lance's direction as he shut the door and then he looked at me.

"Calling you nicknames is getting on my nerves." He told me.

I sighed loudly. "You've been testy. Relax. We're just friends."

"Who get drunk and sleep together." Dean replied harshly.

"Dean, give her a break." Sam told him, getting up. "They've known each other for years—she explained that to you."

I nodded at him. "Besides, how come you can forgive Sam but you can't forgive Lance?"

Dean just let go of me and got up, and I sighed as he got dressed and then left the room, not caring that Sam and I changed in the same room and it bothered me. Yeah, Sam and I had seen everything, but I missed the jealousy—he had jealousy towards Lance but not towards Sam anymore? I mean I didn't want to pit them against each other, but he wasn't fighting for me…oh well…I didn't deserve it and I _knew_ that.

"He'll...give him a little more time, Lan." Sam told me, stroking my hair.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…time…time to realize there are probably fifty thousand women out there who would treat him _far_ better than _I_ have been treating him lately and I don't think I could _not_ beat that said girl up."

"You and Dean will end up together soon, I promise you." Sam told me.

I just nodded at him because I wanted that to actually happen and so then Sam and I left the room after grabbing our bags, and we sat with Dean at the table as he grabbed a beer. Lance came in bearing vending machine food—Dean would never let Lance touch the Impala—and then Dean got up without giving Lance a chance to get all the way in to sit down yet.

"Let's go." Dean said, grabbing the keys and going past Lance, hitting him hard with his shoulder as he went. "Oh, sorry."

He left the motel room and I sighed as Sam followed, and I walked up to Lance. "I'm sorry. He's really…he doesn't like you."

"I noticed." Lance told me softly

"You'll still always be one of my best friends, okay?" I assured him, kissing his cheek. "Just try and suck up to him because after what I did a few weeks ago, he needs to feel like he's on top."

Lance smiled at me. "To make things easier, when this is over—I'm leaving again. I promise."

"Whatever makes you happy, Lancey." I told him with a smile.

Lance chuckled and we went out to the car, sitting in the backseat together since Sam and Dean were in their regular seats. Dean reluctantly got out onto the highway as I bit into a Baby Ruth, and we drove down the highway for what seemed like forever in silence before something happened.

"Holy—" Dean exclaimed, slamming on the breaks, and we came to a stop right in front of the woman.

"You've gotta help me." She said, going over to Sam's window and beating on it.

"All right. All right. Calm down." Sam told her as he rolled down his window. "Tell us what happened."

"I-I—we swerved. Then crashed." She was saying as we got out of the car. "And when I came to, the car was wrecked and my husband was missing. I went looking for him, and that's when the man from the road, he—he started chasing me."

Dean nodded and took the information in. "Did he…look like he lost a fight with a lawn mower?"

"How did you know that?" She asked him as Sam sent her a look and Lance leaned on the car next to me, Dean too busy covering for himself to notice.

"Lucky guess." Dean replied, smiling a little.

"Ma'am…what's your name?" Sam asked her.

"Molly. Molly McNamara." Molly answered with a nod.

Sam looked at her softly. "Molly, I think maybe you should come with us. We'll take you back to town."

"I can't." Molly replied shaking his head. "I have to find David. He might have gone back to the car."

Sam nodded at her. "We need to get you somewhere safe first, and then Dean, Lance and I will come back here and look for him."

I gave him a look, because I didn't want to stay behind—how come I was going to have to babysit here while _they_ were the heroes? I mean I understood that I didn't get to have _any_ special treatment at all, but come on…I wanted to help to fix this.

"No. I'm not leaving here without him!" Molly told us. "Would you just, take me back to my car, please?"

"Of course we will." I spoke up. "She wants to find her husband—let her. She must be worried sick."

Molly smiled at me and nodded so we went to where the car was supposed to be, but it wasn't there, and it was nice and dark, and we were in creepy woods. It was pleasant—note my sarcasm. While Sam and Dean talked about telling her the truth and getting on with it, Lance and I had our own private conversation.

"I say we just go on into the woods." Lance told me.

I shook my head. "Count me out—no scary woods for me."

"I don't want to sound heartless, but you have nothing else to lose, Lan-bon." He told me. "Besides…you can't earn his trust back by being squeamish."

"Yeah…I know." I sighed loudly. "I say I just go find the ghost and get this over with so I can go back to pretending that Sam, Dean and I are still friends even though we've been ruined."

Lance nodded slowly and we looked over at Dean as he told Molly we needed to get to the police station. She agreed with him reluctantly so we all got into the car, Molly between Lance and I. I looked out the window as Molly began to talk, and I listened as intently as I could so I could fix these.

"We're supposed to be in Lake Tahoe." Molly said sadly.

"You and David?" Sam asked.

"It's our 5-year anniversary." Molly told us she told us and I smiled—it would be nice to have one of those eventually.

Dean took a breath. "Hell of an anniversary."

Molly and I gave him a look. "Right before, we were having the dumbest fight. It was the only time we ever really argued—when we were stuck in the car."

"I know how that goes." Sam chuckled and Dean gave him a look as I laughed.

"I second that." I replied, and leaned into the seat laughing as Dean shot me a look in the rearview mirror as well.

Well great, I wasn't making this any better on myself. Actually I was asking myself why I was still even there with them. I mean I had broken Dean's heart, I'd created the rift between them that I hadn't wanted to create in the first place and…why wasn't I with Jen? Why wasn't I with her creating some kind of normal life for myself and moving on from this situation I'd created? Then again if I ran…I'd just be a coward who couldn't fix anything.

"You know the last thing I said to him? I called him a jerk." Molly remembered. "What if that's the last thing I said to him?"

Sam turned around. "Molly, we're going to find out what happened to your husband, I promise."

"We all do." Lance put in, and I saw the nasty look Dean gave him as the radio turned on and began to play.

"They call the rising sun." It played.

Dean looked at Sam. "Did you?"

"No." Sam replied shaking his head.

"Great…ghost radio." I told them with a sigh.

Dean nodded in agreement with me. "I was afraid you'd say that."

I took a deep breath and looked at the radio, the boys leaving it on. This meant that the ghost was near and we had pissed it off and what else was new? It was just another ghost that was going to try to kill us and we had to figure out how to get it before it got us.

"This song…" Molly began but she trailed off.

Dean glanced at her and then back at the road. "What?"

"It was playing when we crashed." She replied, and we all exchanged nervous looks.

The frequency modulated and suddenly there was a hoarse man's voice saying, "She's mine. She's mine. She's mine."

"What is that?" Molly asked as.

"Hold on!" Dean told us, and sped through the man, black mist going everywhere.

Molly was freaking out. "What the…what the Hell just happened?"

"Don't worry, Molly, everything is gonna be all right." Sam told her calmly without skipping a beat.

However, the engine sputtered and I sighed—it was just our luck to now have the car crap out on us. We needed to find a place to get more information about the ghost and we needed to find it now. I didn't want anyone to die right now, and it would make me feel a little better about myself these days if I just helped to save someone.

"Spoke a little too soon, Sammy." Dean said and we pulled over, trying to get the car to start, but it wouldn't. "I don't think he's gonna let her leave."

I got out of the car and looked up at the night sky and closed my eyes—we'd get through this. We would—we'd be fine. The others got out of the car too, and I walked into the street as Dean went to the back of the car and looked for weapons, and Molly started to freak out.

Sam looked at her. "Molly, listen to me!"

"Just stay away!" She told him.

"It wasn't a coincidence we found you, all right?" Sam asked her.

"What are you talking about?" Molly asked him, turning around a little as Lance and Dean walked towards her, Dean staying ahead of Lance.

"We weren't out here cruising for chicks when we found you, sister. We were hunting." Dean told her, walking up to Sam on the road.

Molly made a face. "Hunting for what?"

"Ghosts." I answered as Sam tried to find the words to say and Dean went back to the car.

"D—D—Don't…sugarcoat it for her." Sam told me.

"You're nuts." Molly replied quickly.

I nodded a little actually because I believed that—I mean we hunted things that were very real but _I_ was nuts. I needed to focus on this hunt though, so I took a few more steps towards them and then I smiled at her. I was going to talk to her when Lance cut in and for once since he'd joined us I was _actually_ annoyed with him.

"Really?" Lance asked her.

"About as nuts as a vanishing guy with his guts spilling out." Dean told her, cutting in to not let Lance finish what he was doing. "You know what you saw."

"We think his name is Jonah Greeley. He was a local farmer that died 15 years ago on this highway." Sam tried to explain, as she avoided eye contact.

Molly shook her head. "Just stop."

"One night a year, on the anniversary of his death, he haunts this highway." I continued.

"That's why we're here, Molly—to stop him." Sam told her nodding.

"Now, I suppose this ghost made my car disappear too." Molly asked us.

"Crazier things have happened. Huh?" Dean asked, hitting Sam playfully.

I smiled a little because honestly crazier things _had_ happened to us—this was just another ghost case. The ghost cases were actually my favorite because most of them were _really_ straight forward and they were easier to get through without casualties than demon hunts.

Molly backed away a little. "You know what? I'm all filled up on crazy. I'm gonna go get the cops myself."

"I don't mean to sound harsh, but I don't think you're gonna get very far." Dean told her as she walked away.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Molly asked him, a little scared of what he'd said.

Dean gave her a look. "It means plan 'A' was to get you out of here, and obviously that didn't go over well with, uh, farmer roadkill."

"Molly, were telling the truth. Greeley's not going to let you leave this highway." Sam told her calmly, looking at her with concern.

Molly's eyes welled up with tears. "You're serious about this, aren't you?"

"Deadly." Dean replied with a straight, unemotional look on his face.

"Every night Greeley finds someone to punish for his death." Sam told her, his face full of care and sorrow. "Tonight that person is you."

"Why me? I didn't do anything." Molly protested quickly.

I shook my head. "Doesn't matter, Molly. Some spirits only see what they want to see."

I tried to smile at her, but it came out as more of a sad smile and Dean nudged me softly because he'd caught it. We were supposed to be _appealing_ to her—not dragging in any of our baggage to hinder our progress.

"So you're saying this, Greeley, he took my husband?" Molly asked, and we all stood there for a moment in silence. "Oh, God."

"We're gonna help, all right?" Sam told her. "But first you gotta help us."

Molly looked at him. "Help you? How?"

"Take us to where you saw him." Lance replied and Molly nodded and led us into the forest, all of us looking around.

"Must have been his hunting cabin." Dean told us, his flashlight going over things. "Seems like a real sweet guy."

He started to walk off and I followed him because as much as I cared for everyone else, I didn't want Dean getting into any trouble. Least I could do at this point was be his back-up for whatever it was that he needed me for. He glanced at me and then he looked back to where he was looking and I put my hands in my pockets, nodding and looking around the forest with my own flashlight.

"No gravestones or headmarkers outside." Sam told us, coming in.

"You're looking for Greeley's grave?" Molly asked us.

Sam nodded at her. "Yeah."

"Why?" She asked him.

"So we can dig up his bones and salt them and burn them." Dean replied nonchalantly.

"Sure." Molly told us. "Naturally."

I smiled at her—it was really nice to know that she was accepting this even though she still thought we were crazy. Actually to _chose_ this line of work we were _incredibly_ crazy, but we did it because it was the right thing to do.

"It's a way to get rid of a spirit." Sam explained to her.

Molly looked at him. "And that'll save David?"

Lance stepped in. "It should help both of you if there's a corpse to be found."

"So how do we find it?" Molly asked him.

"We don't really know. After he died, his wife claimed the body and no one heard from her after that, so the best guess is she brought it back here. But they have a thousand acres. He could be buried anywhere on 'em." Sam explained to her.

"This is really what you guys do." Molly said, looking at us. "You're like ghostbusters or something."

"Yeah, minus the jumpsuits. Look, this conversation is fascinating and all, but this guy only haunts this highway once a year and we only have until sunup to wrap this thing up, so let's say we move it along, okay? Great." Dean said, and walked past us.

I nodded as he walked past us and I just kind of smiled and turned to follow him quickly and I took a deep breath. I knew it wasn't time to push him with questions and talking—I was really letting _him_ take the lead on everything. Talking, arguing, researching, hunting…I just felt like he needed someone in his corner.

"Hey, you wanna talk about it?" I asked him. "I mean you're really snappy right now, is there anything I can do for you?"

Dean turned to me. "We need to find the body—we're crunching time."

"That doesn't mean you can be mean to her—she's been through a lot." I told him. "I understand what she's going through, I mean David means everything to her just like…never mind."

"You mean like I mean everything to you?" Dean asked me.

I put my hands in the air. "I'm not going to do a care and share right now Dean…we're crunching time just like you said."

Dean opened his mouth to say something to me but Molly started screaming so we hurried to her and Dean pointed the gun at Greeley. He was definitely in the mood for a hunt to take out some of his emotions, and I understood it—I wished _I_ was as angry as he was but I was just upset at myself.

"Whoops." Dean said, and shot the rock salt at him, and he disappeared, Molly getting up and Sam coming running as I muttered, 'hot', Lance laughing a little as he heard me.

"Hey! Are you all right?" Sam asked Molly.

Molly looked at him. "That son of a bitch came out of nowhere—"

"—just take it easy, all right? You're going to see David again. You will." Sam assured her as we all looked around to figure out where to go to next or if Greeley would show up again.

"Hey!" Dean said pointing his flashlight on the ground as we all looked at him. "Follow the creepy brick road."

I nodded at that and as Sam offered for Molly to go ahead, Dean and I walked in front. We were silent for a moment or two and then I decided to try and talk to him again—I felt like I might be stepping on toes, but at the same time, I just wanted to talk to him.

"This is a weird hunt." I told Dean. "I mean we deal with spirits all the time, but this is—maybe it's the forest."

Dean shrugged at me. "We'll do what we always do—get rid of the spirit and then be on our way."

"Why is it you aren't taking any pleasure whatsoever in this hunt? You like hunts." I reminded him.

"I'm just not in this one." He admitted to me with a shrug.

I nodded at that and decided I was done trying to make small talk—Dean didn't want to talk and I didn't want to force him into it. I mean I wanted things with us to be okay, but three weeks wasn't enough time to make that happen—it was just enough time to make us all tolerant of each other. We were both dealing with the pain that was still lingering and if he needed more time, than he needed more time and nodding at that I looked up at an old, rickety house and I shuddered.

"You know, just once I'd like to round the corner and see a nice house." Dean said, and I smiled.

"Me too." I agreed with him and we all went inside.

It was time to check inside the house for some clues and so we were all going to split up and I was going to let _them_ pick teams. I was kind of annoyed that I was just how Victoria had described me as once, but at the same time I knew I had a reason to be like this now. It wasn't my place anymore and I had to accept it—even if I wanted to take charge this time around.

"Any headstones outside?" Sam asked us.

"Yeah right. Is it ever that easy?" Dean replied.

Sam sighed loudly. "I guess not."

"You two check upstairs, see if there are any notes or records that say where he's buried, I'll just check down here." Dean explained to Sam and Molly.

"I'll check more outside. You settle that man of yours." Lance replied, and went outside to look around some more.

I sighed and went into the kitchen, looking around and then standing there, looking at him. I wanted to ask him if he wanted to talk but that would be forcing—no forcing, Lana. So I went back to rummaging and Dean sighed loudly which made me stop and look at him hopefully but when he opened his mouth to say something he changed his mind and closed it again.

"Do you think the records are in the kitchen or the living room?" I asked him.

He nodded slowly and then shook his head. "They could be anywhere."

"Well as long as we don't give up, we'll find what we need to find." I explained to him.

"Are you talking about the hunt or us?" Dean asked me, and when I didn't answer he nodded slowly and headed for the kitchen. "There's nothing here."

I stood in the living room and I swallowed, shaking my head as he walked up the stairs, stopping once, but deciding against whatever he was going to say, and continuing up. I heard some crashing, but I stayed where I was—they could handle it. So I walked outside, and Lance looked at me, nodding and then taking a breath.

"I can't find anything—are you okay, Lan-Bon?" Lance asked, coming over to me, and standing next to me.

I shrugged and put my hands in my pockets. "I'm about as good as can be expected of a cheating ex-fiancée still in love with her ex-fiancé."

"He's not just going to give up, Lan-Bon." Lance told me. "I mean you broke him, but as much as he can't forgive and forget here, you're giving him his space and yet still showing that you're interested so you just have to wait for him to want to try again."

"I know that, I just—the waiting is _killing _me right now, Lance." I explained to him. "I know I have no right to be upset and I don't even feel sorry for myself, I just feel angry because I made a really _bad _decision and I can't fix it. Factor in that this case is weird and we're all just on edge so…I'm going to handle it."

Lance nodded at me and I was going to say something else but we both looked up as Sam and Dean came out holding a corpse. Molly was behind them and so they came and explained to us that it was Greeley's wife and we dug a grave for her and put her body in. We were going to salt and burn her bones so that she could be at rest too, and I felt bad for her—poor restless spirits.

"So, if you manage to put Greeley to rest too…what happens to them?" Molly asked as we dug a little more.

"Lady, the answer is way beyond our pay grade." Dean replied, shoveling more dirt.

Molly gave him a look. "You hunt these things, but you don't know what happens to them?"

"They never come back. That's all that matters." Dean told her, and walked away and I sighed.

"When they let go of whatever is keeping them here, they just go. We really don't know what happens to them." I replied to her and I smiled. "Sam and I like to believe that they go to a better place, but it's hard to tell. No one really knows for certain."

"What happens when you salt and burn their bones?" She inquired.

"Um…well, Dad used to say that is was like, death for ghosts but…we still don't know." Sam admitted, Molly kneeling down. "Guess that's why we all hold onto life so hard…even the dead."

I looked down and ran my fingers along my stomach. "Yeah."

"I guess we're all scared of the unknown." Sam continued as he looked at Molly softly.

I hadn't ever really given it a _lot_ of thought, but when they salted and burned the bones I had to pause and think about it. I really believed that when ghosts were laid to rest, their souls were finally judged and then they either went to Heaven, or they went to Hell. Hopefully Greeley's wife was going to Heaven—hopefully the majority of the tragic souls went to Heaven when they were avenged.

"The only thing I'm scared of is losing David." Molly told us, and we all stopped to look at her. "I have to see him again. I have to."

I nodded, knowing how she felt, and then we went inside and Dean sat in a chair looking out the window, Sam standing up as Lance sat with Molly at the table, both of them looking over photos. Dean reached out and held my hand as I stood next to the chair he was in, and he tugged on my hand a little. I sat on his lap and he wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my head and hugging me to him as I rested my head on his chest and smiled a little—I liked this.

"I think we should tell her about her husband." Sam told us.

Dean shook his head. "We can't."

"Dean, it's cruel, letting her pine for him like this." Sam explained to him. "I don't like keeping her in the dark."

"It's for her own good." Dean replied with little emotion and I kissed his neck swiftly as he shifted to get up, and got off of him, leaning against the wall. "I know you feel guilty, all right, but let's stick to the plan. Let's get her out of here, and then we'll tell her."

"Tell me what?" Molly asked, Lance standing behind her as she looked at us. "What aren't you telling me?" She asked as Dean licked his lips and looked at the ground and Sam and I swallowed, Lance putting his hands in his pockets. "It's about David, isn't it? You know what happened to him."

Sam took a breath. "Molly—"

"—Sam, don't." Dean told him sternly.

"Don't what? Don't tell me, because I'll mess up your hunt?" She asked, coming towards us. You don't care about me _or_ my husband."

"That's not true." Sam said hurriedly.

Molly nodded slowly. "Then whatever it is, tell me, please."

We all swallowed and exchanged looks, looking for the words to say because she needed to know. Sam was about to say something but then **House of the Rising Sun** began to play again, and Molly got frightened. Actually, we _all_ got frightened because that meant that Greeley was coming and that we were all in trouble here.

"He's coming." Molly told us softly.

"Stay with her." Dean told us, both he and Lance heading to the radio.

Molly went over to the window as I watched Lance and Dean at the radio and suddenly I shivered. I looked over towards Molly and saw Sam's nervous face as he shivered too. We broke eye contact when the window broke, and Molly was dragged through the window, which was making our job _that_ much harder.

"Dean! He's got Molly!" Sam cried, and we all jumped out the window after them, running and looking for her with our flashlights.

"This guy is persistent." Dean said as we went back into the house.

Sam nodded at that. "We gotta find Molly."

"We gotta find Greeley's bones." Dean persisted. "And uh, no pressure, or anything, but we've got less than two hours before sunrise."

"Then we should split up." I replied, and Lance picked up the photos and then he pointed to the book.

"Look." He said, and Sam went over and they both got looks on their faces.

Dean looked at us. "What?"

"February 6, 1992." Lance replied.

"I asked Sam." Dean told him hostilely.

I took a deep breath and shook my head as Lance opened his mouth again because I didn't want him to push Dean. Dean had enough to deal with and this wasn't a contest—things needed to be done and we were running out of time here. This was our only shot and Lance was provoking Dean for no good reason and he had to stop.

"Lance, just don't." I told him and looked at Sam. "What is it, Sammy?"

"It was two weeks before the accident, and it looks like the hunting cabin, but there's a tree in front of it." Sam explained to us and he sighed. "I should have thought of it."

Dean and I were both confused. "What?"

"It's a country custom, planting a tree as a grave marker." Sam told us and Dean and I both got looks on our faces—I was surprised and Dean thought his brother was weird.

"You're like a walking encyclopedia of weirdness." Dean said, leaving the room, Lance following close behind as Sam sighed and put the book down.

"Yeah. I know." He told him, and we hurried for the cabin.

When we got to the hunting cabin, Dean and I went inside and Lance stayed with Sam to dig up Greeley's bones. When we entered the Cabin Greeley was cutting into Molly and Dean immediately shot Greeley in the head and Molly was relieved.

"Oh thank God!" She exclaimed.

"Call me Dean." He told her with a smile, but Greeley appeared and used his telekinesis to but Dean's cheek. "This guy's really pissing me off."

I made a fireball as Greeley sent Dean up against the wall. "Don't touch him!"

The fireball made him dematerialize for a moment, but he showed back up as Dean called out to Sam to hurry up and Greeley went for me. It was better he go for me than for Dean, and I closed my eyes as I was sent up against the wall and Greeley got himself a knife. The spirit vanished as he came towards me, me catching my breath from being winded, and when that was done, we all walked back to the car.

"Oh, baby, it's been a long night." He said to the car, tossing his things in.

I took a hold of his jacket and looked over his cut. "That looks like it hurts, are you okay?"

"Lanni, I'm fine." He told me.

"You've been tossed around the last few times." I replied, leaning into him. "I'm sorry…I'm _really_ sorry."

Dean stroked my hair. "Just get in the car."

The order wasn't mean, it was soft, and I nodded slowly and let go of him, getting into the car and sitting next to Lance since he sat in the middle. We drove to Molly and David's house, me watching her in sadness as it all came full circle for her. She had looked happy and confused, and now she was hurt and confused.

"That's not…it can't be." She said, and I started to get sad as Dean, Lance and Sam looked at each other. "What's happening? Who is that?"

"That's David's wife." Sam told her after a pause as she looked at us. "I'm sorry, Molly. 15 years ago, you and your husband hit Jonah Greeley with your car. David survived."

Molly shook her head slowly. "What are you saying?"

"We're saying there isn't just one spirit haunting Highway 41. There are two." Dean spoke up. "Jonah Greeley and you."

"For the past 15 years, one night a year you've been appearing on that highway." Sam explained to her.

"No, that's not possible. It was our anniversary…February 22nd…" She was saying.

"1992." Sam finished for her.

Molly nodded at that. "Yes."

"Molly, it's 2007." I told her calmly.

"Oh, God." Molly said slowly. "And Greeley?"

"Each year he punishes someone for his death—uh, chasing them. Torturing them…and each year, that somebody is you." Sam explained to her.

I smiled sadly at that and wiped a tear away as Dean glanced at me and then looked back at Molly. She was trying to comprehend what we saying and though deep down she believed it, she needed more answers. If she didn't get more answers, then she wouldn't be able to let herself move on.

"But I don't remember any of it." Molly protested to us.

"Because you couldn't see the truth, Molly." Lance told her.

"So that's why he won't, let me off the highway…because I…I killed him. I killed us both." Molly said and then she sat out on the front sidewalk. "Why not tell me when you first saw me? Why wait until now?"

I smiled at her sadly. "You wouldn't have believed us."

"And you needed me for bait." She shot at Lance and Dean.

"Well, we needed you." Sam told her.

It was true—she was our bait and without her we never would have been able to get Greeley. At the same time, laying _her_ ghost to rest was the other part of our job and this was that part of it. We had to convince her to let go, and to move on because it was _her_ time to go and she needed to understand that.

"David." She said, forlorn and desperate.

I swallowed and bit my lip. "Molly, we brought you here so that you could move one."

"No." Molly replied, standing up. "I have to tell him."

"Tell him what?" Sam asked her. "That you love him? That you're sorry? Molly, he already knows that."

I wiped away a tear as she looked at us, so distraught. "If you want to go in there, we're not going to stop you."

"But you are going to freak him right out…for life." Dean cut in, looking at her as she looked at him, ready to cry.

"David's already said his goodbyes, Molly. Now it's _your_ turn." Sam said after we all gave Dean looks. "This is _your_ unfinished business."

Molly nodded slowly at that and Dean nodded too, knowing that his job here was complete and he was going to let Sam take over. Sam had it firmly under control and I let the words sink in that Dean had said because I loved him very much and I knew that on some level, that was really how he felt about it.

"What am I supposed to do?" Molly asked sadly.

"Just…let go. Of David. Of everything. If you do that, we think you'll move on." Sam explained to her softly, smiling a little.

Molly tried to keep the tears back. "But you don't know where?"

"No, but Molly, you don't belong here. Haven't you suffered long enough?" I asked her, and Molly nodded so I smiled at her to let her know that I cared.

"It's time. It's time to go." Sam told her.

She nodded and cried all of us giving her glances as she walked out a little ways as the sun rose. She started to glow brightly and we watched as she disappeared into a bright light, her spirit moving on. I hoped so hard that she had just gone to Heaven because she deserved to be at peace and be in a place of warmth and love…she really did.

"I guess she wasn't so bad…for a ghost. You really think she's going to a better place?" Dean asked us.

"I hope so." Sam and I said together.

Dean nodded slowly. "I guess we'll never really know. Not unless we take the plunge ourselves, huh?"

"Doesn't really matter, Dean." Sam told him. "Hope's kind of the whole point."

"All right, Haley Joel." Dean said, patting his shoulder. "Let's hit the road and get him back home."

Sam and I looked one last time at where Molly had left, and then we got into the car, all of us silent until we got to the airport. Dean and Sam stayed in the car as I walked Lance in and I smiled at him as he stood there, ready to board his flight.

"Ask for extra peanuts and hit on the cute flight attendants." I told him. "And hey…thanks for all of the help."

Lance smiled at me and then hugged me quickly and let go. "Stay safe and don't hurt that man or yours _too _badly, all right?"

"Promise." I told him with a sad smile and a nod.

He nodded too and I watched him go through the security gate, heading straight back to the Impala. When we got to the motel room Sam went out to get food and Dean and I found ourselves very much alone with each other. I sat on the bed and ran my fingers along the mattress, looking at me feet and then up at Dean as he spoke.

"I don't know where we stand anymore, Lanni." He told me.

I nodded slowly. "I know what you mean. I actually wondered why I was still here you know. I feel like I should go back and be with Jen because that way you and Sam get to go back to normal, and I get to pick up the pieces I made. On the other hand, I'd be a coward if I walked away so it's kind of _your_ decision I think."

"Lanni I'm hurt, but…I _don't_ want you to leave." Dean explained to me with a shrug. "Its going to take us a while to get back to a more loving place with each other, but I'm not just throwing in the towel because I _know_ you're sorry, and I _know_ you love me. It's just a _really_ hard thing to get past. I'm not mad you cheated—I'm not mad at all about that—I'm mad that you cheated with Sam."

"You _are_ mad I cheated." I told him and I shrugged. "And you _should_ be. But hey, you've had those two waitresses, and that one chick in the motel we were at last hunt. Oh! There was that cute blonde that was handing out those buttons the hunt before that. They made you happy for a little while and that's something isn't it?"

Dean shrugged a little and at first I thought he thought I was hurt or something but he understood. We _weren't_ dating, and even though we both had feelings for each other, Dean needed to get his feelings sorted out and that wasn't normally through talking and I got that. It was actually worth it for me to see that smile on his face after having a good lay, even though it hurt that I had drove him into other women's arms.

I couldn't be upset about it because we weren't dating and I had hurt him, and he got that I got that. I was just mentioning the others because I was trying to point out that I understood that we had to start over and I was glad that he was putting forth the effort to go back to us being friends. Now that never actually worked out really, but we were trying.

"Are you all right, Lanni?" He asked me and smiled a little when I raised my eyebrows. "You don't ever talk about being buried."

I nodded slowly. "That's because I don't want to. I have all of these _ridiculous_ notions about fate, and I hate that I asked for Sam's help instead of crawling back into bed with you, but he was there. I think that's where my problem started because he was there and he's _always_ there, but our relationship wouldn't work without fights and problems and I miss that."

"I miss it too." Dean admitted softly as he nodded.

"Dean I don't deserve your forgiveness for what I did, but at the time I don't want to go on like this with you and Sam if it's always going to hurt this badly." I told him, wiping a couple tears away and sucking it up. "What I did was _horrible_ and I _can't_ take it back, and I wish I hadn't done it, but I think we both know that this thing we have between us isn't working…it was too hard."

Dean nodded again and his eyes got wet. "Are there any other secrets you're keeping from me? I mean it this time, Lanni."

"In High School I got addicted to dark magic, but I kicked the habit and with that final secret, now you know everything. Werewolf, witch, demon…I don't have any other enemies either—just Chelsea. Nothing else in my life is important or life threatening and that is the truth." I told him and it was honestly the truth—I had no more secrets. "I don't know my father's real identity, and I've closed men off until you…I mean Sammy's sweet but I've never been in love with him and I'm not attracted to him like that."

"Then that's our new beginning." Dean told me with a nod. "No more secrets…because this is the last chance I'm willing to give you."

I nodded and the swallowed. "I don't deserve it but…thank you."

Dean nodded slowly and then took in a deep breath and widened his eyes a little so the tear that wanted to come wouldn't. Then he looked me in the eye and I knew there was another question on his mind and I wanted him to ask it.

"What?" I asked softly.

He took a deep breath. "If you were in Molly's place, would you have gone in the house? I mean if we had been married and you had died…would you have come in to talk to me?"

"Since you're a hunter and you're used to ghosts…I probably would have." I told him with a nod. "I know that isn't the answer you want, but we're being truthful…and I would have haunted your ass for a minute or two to tell you I love you and given you a chance to say goodbye."

**Note: So things seem to be getting a **_**little**_** better, huh? This was just a little over 19 pages but the next one is emotional again and then things get happier for a bit and then well…we have to have the finale, now don't we? Just one more chapter to go and then we're at the sad chapter…oh boy, guys. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	42. Can't Fight This Feeling

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay this chapter is just pretty much…you guys will understand what the next chapter is by the end because you're all geniuses.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

I lay in bed and I looked at Dean as he slept—we'd been talking more over the last little over a week and that was good. He and I had even been joking with each other lately so things seemed good even though we hadn't been able to track Annie down yet. She hadn't talked to me in quite a long while actually, and I was _damn_ worried about her. Sam had even taken his laptop out to a nearby café for lunch to give Dean and I more time together and as sweet as the thought was, it wasn't going to help.

I got up and went out into the kitchen area, and started to make some coffee, Sam coming back in as the pot was pretty much made, and I sat at the table with him as he looked at the laptop. He raised his eyebrows when he didn't see Dean anywhere and then he leaned on the counter and I shrugged. Sam nodded and I knew we didn't need words for it—Dean was still sleeping and no talking or mending had happened while Sam was gone.

"So coffee?" Sam asked me.

I nodded at him. "Yeah…I was thinking maybe pancakes too. Did you eat at the café or when Dean gets up can we go to a diner?"

"I didn't eat while I was out." Sam told me with a chuckle. "I did, however _bring _some cinnamon rolls we can use the microwave in here on."

I rolled my eyes and then just nodded and laughed, both of us looking at Dean as he strolled over to us. He had a large smile on his face so I assumed some kind of grand, dirty dream, but then he stood in front of me and I was confused. A whole month of no dating, and a lot of hurt and he was standing in front of me with a smile on his face and he reached out to stroke my hair.

"I've decided that it's my right to flirt with you today." Dean informed me.

I nodded slowly. "I'm not going to stop you."

"Well of course you're not." Dean told me and he grinned. "I think that honestly it's our next step of fixing things now that we can joke and neither of us takes offense—I smell coffee."

"Lan made it and I'm warming up cinnamon rolls." Sam explained to him.

Dean made a face. "We should all just go to a diner—I want eggs."

"Then a diner it is." Sam replied with a nod.

Dean was pretty used to getting his way this last month and he was probably going to continue to get his way forever. Sam and I felt _far_ too guilty to do anything but try and make Dean happy and though sometimes it annoyed him, this seemed to be one of those mornings where he was glad to get his way. So we all got dressed and headed for a diner for breakfast, Dean cozying into the booth seat with me and smiling up at the waitress as she came to get our order.

"What can I do you guys for?" She asked us, looking at Dean and grinning at him.

Dean smiled up at her. "I'll have your daily special, and the beautiful woman on my left will have your stack of pancakes and some coffee. Actually—coffee for the whole table. My brother will also have the special."

"Could I get a side of hash browns with that?" Sam asked the waitress who's attention had left Dean when he'd introduced me as 'the beautiful woman' on his left.

"Absolutely—coming right up." She told us and then she left the table.

Sam raised his eyebrows but smiled at Dean, who glanced around the diner as I looked at him too. When he realized that Sam and I were looking at him, the smile was gone and he shrugged and looked at us.

"What?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Nothing you're just…bubbly this morning."

"I am not." Dean told me, rolling his eyes.

"No, no—you're kind of bubbly." Sam told him.

Dean took a deep breath. "Look, I—I've never been on the receiving end of this kind of emotional drama, all right? I've always been in Sam's shoes here so…I can't really stay upset with either of you."

Sam and I both just swallowed and decided to let him continue if that was what he chose to do. Neither of us wanted to delve back into any of it, but if Dean was going to start the conversation, than we would participate—as simple as that. It was just that as much as I understood how Dean was processing this, I didn't agree with him entirely.

"I mean do you know how many girlfriends and wives I've slept with that weren't _mine_?" Dean asked us. "I'm hurt but I'm fine too—I don't want to dwell on it anymore."

I nodded slowly. "All right then we won't dwell on it…but we're not erasing it."

"Fine." Dean replied with a nod.

"Okay so…it was kinda hot that you knew exactly what I wanted for breakfast." I told him, smiling and shrugging.

Dean chuckled and Sam smiled, all of us starting to talk about what we were going to do today when my phone went off. I got a look on my face as I recognized the ringtone and I picked up the phone quickly.

"Oh my God, I am so glad you called!" I told her. "I thought you were dead and lying in a ditch somewhere, Ann!"

Annie laughed a little. "I'm happy to talk to you too, Lanni!"

"How's the search going?" I asked, sipping some coffee.

"It could definitely be going better." Annie told me with a sigh. "I swear she knows I'm onto her. Every time I get a solid lead, she's one step ahead of me."

I laughed and smile. "Looks like Mom and John are a lot more alike than we gave them credit for before, which makes sense since they hunted together a few times—I don't think you'll find her unless she wants to be found."

"How are you, Lanni?" Annie asked, and something in her tone made me realize what kind of call this was.

I swallowed because she couldn't _possibly_ know what had been going on with me lately and I didn't want to talk with the boys there. It had _nothing_ to do with keeping secrets it was just that I knew how they worried. My nightmares getting more and more vivid and more and more me being killed…they didn't need to be bothered with nightmares…unless this was definitely not just nightmares…

"You didn't just call to let me know how things were, did you?" I asked slowly.

Annie sighed again. "Truthfully…no. I keep having these dreams, Lanni, and they're not just nightmares."

"How much time do I have left?" I asked her suddenly.

There was a pause, and I knew she was surprised but not as surprised as Sam and Dean were. Annie knew that she and I were connected and she knew how I was but at the same time she hadn't realized I'd been having the dreams too. Now Sam and Dean were exchanging looks and I heard Annie take a deep breath.

"How did you know it was about you dying?" Annie asked me.

I smiled sadly. "I just knew—it has to do with why you left."

"It most certainly does." Annie replied bitterly. "I think Dad's behind a lot more than we think he is but until we find Mom, we won't even know _who_ he is. That's why I have to find him, Lanni—I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either, Annie. Keep me posted, all right?" I asked her. "And for the record, I'm going to be just fine."

"Of course, but hey, if those vibes of yours start to tell you to take it easy or run the other direction—listen to them. The full moon is fast approaching, and you know that our feelings are never far from the button." She warned me.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah. I know, Annie. I'll be careful. I love you."

"I love you too." Annie replied. "Bye for now, Lanni."

"Bye for now, Annie." I said, and we hung up.

I sat there for a moment looking at the phone and I kept the tears back surprisingly enough. If I was having visions of my death, and Annie was too, then it was inevitable. That meant I had to get my affairs in order—prepare for the futures Sam and Dean would have without me—prepare for the futures Kevin, Jen and the girls would have without me. Ironically, Jen called right as I thought about how more effort should be put into finding the girls and Dean had opened his mouth to say something to me.

"Hey, Jen." I said, forcing a smile.

"Lan, I know that tone. Hi, though." She told me.

I swallowed and smiled again, Sam's and Dean's eyes on me. "How's the search?"

"Actually, I was calling to tell you that we found them!" Jen exclaimed, and by the tone, I knew things were going to be fine.

"I'm so happy!" I replied, grinning.

Jen sighed suddenly. "But there's bad news that goes along with it."

"What, Jen?" I asked in my most serious tone.

"I've been having these visions of you dying, Lan. At first I thought they were just nightmares, but then Annie called, and said she was having them too, and at first I thought it was a coincidence, but then I realized that in this line of work, nothing is coincidence. Then we found the girls, and it's by no coincidence that your father was behind it—he sent a demon to do his bidding. He sent that demon with a message for you—he's coming." Jen explained to me.

I nodded slowly and motioned for Dean to move because I was by the window and I needed to stand. His shook his head though, even as I pleaded with him with me eyes for him to just let me go and get some air. I couldn't just sit around and do nothing and he _knew _that—I had to work my legs.

"You two aren't the only ones seeing it." I told her as I sighed and looked back at the diner table.

"Don't worry, Lan. Annie and I will work something out. I'm about to call her and tell her what the demon said. First I wanted to warn you—tell you that if you get any vibes that are screaming danger in your ear, you heed them. We are not going to lose you for good." Jen told me. "We just aren't."

I nodded and smiled. "I love you too, Jenny."

"Yeah, I love you. Now keep yourself safe. I have to call Annie." Jen said with a sigh.

"All right. But hey?" I stopped her.

"Yeah?" Jen asked me.

I took a deep breath. "I know you don't want to talk about it, and I know that with everyone aware we'll find a way out of it, but when and if I die, don't salt and burn my bones, all right? I want to be buried in a white dress—like the Amish. Even though I'm not Amish, I always liked the thought."

"Lanni, what's going on?" Dean asked me.

I couldn't bear to glance at him so I just shook my head and continued. "I know you can all argue about moving on, but let's face it—I'll move on. I'm not going to hold onto anything down here. Sure, maybe something will change, but I really just—I want my body to rest in peace. When we burned John's body, it devastated me, and it devastated Sam and Dean and I don't anyone to have to go through that…please, Jenny. Promise me you'll bury me in a white dress and let me rest near my parents and my baby. And promise me you won't simply focus on trying to save me, all right? We all have lives to live and we'll get out of this. Promise me, Jenny."

Jen was actually crying now and I had some tears spilling out of my eyes, but she choked out an "of course", and then we said our goodbyes and hung up. This was going to be hard and I didn't want to dwell on it, but the boys had to know. So I wiped the tears off of my cheeks and I looked at their waiting faces and I took a deep breath.

"Annie, Jen and I have been having nightmares about my death…none of us think it's a coincidence." I explained to them.

Sam took a breath. "Then why haven't _I _had any?"

"I don't know." I told him honestly. "I just know that if the three of us are having the same dreams, and the same vibes, they're not _just_ nightmares."

"Then we figure out how to stop this." Dean said seriously.

I smiled at him. "I just want some breakfast."

Dean opened his mouth to argue with me, but he looked up as the waitress brought us our things and we ate breakfast and then headed back to the motel. I explained my dreams to them and we did some research and then we went to bed after I explained that Jen had the girls back and that everything was going to be fine. We already had the upper hand and that was all that we needed…we could beat this.

"Why didn't you tell us about the nightmares earlier?" Dean asked me as we all settled into bed.

I shrugged at that. "I didn't think there was anything to it then, Dean—Annie and Jen _just_ told me they were having the dreams too. I mean come on…I was buried alive…that brings on some emotional baggage, don't you think? Nightmares are common after experiences like that."

"Fine, but if you have any vibes or you—" Dean was telling me.

"—look, look," I said, taking his hands and sitting on the bed, him following suit, "if I feel like I'm being followed, or that I'm in danger, I will tell you, and I will get myself out of it, all right? I promise you that. Just…can we _please_ go to sleep?"

Dean took a deep breath and nodded, me crawling into bed first as he turned out the light and snuggling into the covers. I smiled a little when Dean wrapped his arms around me and he placed a kiss behind my ear which made me have to focus _so_ hard on not crying. I cuddled into him and took his hand in mine, kissing it softly and falling asleep in his arms peacefully.

xxxx

Ever since we got into San Francisco, I was having weird vibes—not the kind that were screaming in my head for me to run, but I didn't like being after werewolves again…not at all. Of course thinking they were werewolves was just my vibes…well and the fact that my mother was one. Sam was off looking at the autopsy report, while Dean and I sat in the hotel room—well, he sat, and I looked out the window.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, I suppose."

"You're not having vibes are you?" Dean asked me.

"I think we're dealing with werewolves but no—nothing is making me want to run. Hey! We should go to a bar and I can be your wingman." I told him, him taking my arms and turning me to face him. "What?"

Dean shook his head. "I don't really feel like it."

I nodded at that and then I bit my lip and smiled at him because I needed him to think that I thought that everything was going to be fine. We had a hunt to focus on and even though it was important that we know what was coming and why, it was best to not make it seem worse than it was. If someone showed up we would take care of them but if we dwelt on it then we'd be distracted.

"Something's wrong." Dean told me.

I swallowed. "I just…what if this is just a way to distract us, Dean? What if nothing is coming for me? What if…I just…"

I trailed off when I started to get that feeling again…the feeling like I was being watched. This had nothing to do with werewolves—the case, yes, the person following me, no. Jen had said he was coming. He was here…he was here and he was waiting for the right time and I was wrong and I needed to own up to that. This was _very_ real and me being with Sam and Dean right now was putting them in danger.

"Lanni?" Dean asked, concerned.

I gave a smile. "I need to shower. Sam will be back any minute, so just fill me in when I'm done, okay?"

"Okay…" He said slowly.

I hurried into the bathroom and I closed the door, getting into the shower as the water ran, hot and wonderful, and then I stood there, the water running down me and I thought about everything. When was it going to happen? How would they find me? How would he kill me? Would I be enough of a match to fight back? How was I going to get Sam and Dean involved without getting them killed too?

I knew that part of me didn't _want_ to involve Sam and Dean but that would be selfish—I knew them well enough to know that since they knew keeping them out was wrong. If something happened to me and I hadn't let them help to fix it, they would _blame_ themselves, and I couldn't let that happen. At the same time, was it selfish to get them involved if it could potentially kill them? I needed to figure out what to do…

I finished up my shower after shaking the thoughts out of my head and I wrapped a towel around myself and looked in the mirror, using my hand to wipe away the condensation, and I looked at myself. I was young, healthy. Sure I'd had my fair share of cuts and bruises, but I was strong—I couldn't be afraid of death. Then again, demons had bested us before and that meant that I had to get my affairs in order just in case.

"Lanni?" Dean asked as a tear trickled down my cheek.

"I'll be out in a moment." I told him.

He heard the strain in my voice to try and sound happy and fine, and opened the door, coming in and shutting the door behind him. He turned me around to face him, and I tried not to cry, but I couldn't help. If I died, then I wouldn't get to see him again and I wouldn't get to make up for any of the shit that I had put him through. I wouldn't get to kiss him, hug him, sleep next to him, watch him drink coffee, or endure all of his vulgar tendencies…I didn't _want_ to die.

"What's wrong, Lanni? And don't feed me any of this, 'I'm fine' crap." He told me, looking at me sternly.

I tried to shrug it off, but it wasn't working, so I just kissed him—I knew I shouldn't have because I was trying to let _him _be the one to take charge but what if this was the last that I had? What if we got this hunt down, the assassin sent after me showed up, and one of us died? I just wanted to show him that I loved him, and hopefully change the subject because I was done feeling bad—I had to be proactive about this. He returned the kiss, and I poured everything I could into him, and then I pulled away.

"Werewolves?" I asked him.

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, but you and I, we're talking later, okay?"

"Sure. Just…I'll meet you at the Impala, k? I have to get dressed." I told him.

Dean nodded and stroked my cheek with his thumb, both of us making eye contact and I was more surprised than he was when he kissed me softly. Then he pulled back and left the bathroom, him and Sam waiting in the Impala until I got dressed and hurried out there too. We drove to the apartment of the girl who found the body—a very pretty brunette by the name of Madison, who was willing to talk to us.

"I don't understand. I already gave my statement to you." Madison told us.

Sam nodded quickly. "Right, yeah, but we just need to justify a few things."

"This is my neighbor, Glenn. Glenn, this is Detective…" She said, and then turned to us.

"Landis. And this is Detective Dante, and Detective Sharon." Dean replied with a smile.

Glenn stood up and smiled too. "Well, I guess I'll leave you to it."

"Okay. Thanks for the casserole." Madison told Glenn as he left.

"Oh, how thoughtful." Dean said as Glenn went past us.

"Just call if you need anything." Glenn told Madison before he went out of the door of her apartment.

I smiled a little because it was actually kind of nice to see the boys already trying to impress the attractive, vulnerable girl. She smiled at us and pointed towards where Glenn had left past us and I focused all attention on her.

"He's sweet." Madison told us. "He came over to check on me. Have—have a seat."

"You must be pretty shaken up. You were Nate Mulligan's assistant, right?" Sam asked her as we took seats at the table.

"For nearly two years." Madison said automatically.

"So you knew everything about him?" Dean asked her.

Madison nodded slowly. "Probably knew him better than he knew himself. Nate was…nice."

"But…?" I asked as she gave a look.

"Nothing, really. It's just, after a couple scotches he hit on anyone within a five mile radius. You know the type." Madison explained to us.

Sam and I cracked smiles, and I laughed a little as we both noticed Dean checking Madison out and grinning like a fool—it was kinda cute. It didn't matter that it bothered me a little bit…Dean deserved it and he was cute when he thought he was getting lucky. Besides, if something bad was going to happen any minute, then he and Sam had every right to get in some action before then.

"Yeah, yeah I do, actually." Sam replied, and Dean looked at him, wiping the grin off his face.

Dean composed himself. "So, uh, did he, uh, have any enemies?"

"What do you mean? Sure looked like an animal attack—" Madison began.

"—yeah, we're just, uh, covering all the bases." Dean explained to her. "Anyone who had a beef with him—a former client? An ex?"

Madison kind of looked at us for a moment like she didn't know how to answer, but then her face changed. She was definitely thinking about something, and Sam spoke up first, which made me smile a little—way to be observant, Sammy.

"What?" Sam asked her.

Madison took a breath. "This is embarrassing, but, my ex-boyfriend, Kurt."

"Kurt have a last name?" Dean asked quickly.

"Mueller." Madison replied with a nod. "After we broke up, he went kind of nuts. He's…well, he's kind of been stalking me. He got it into his head that there was something going on between Nate and I. He showed up at my office."

"What happened?" I asked her.

Madison shook her head. "Kurt got into it with Nate. Threw a punch at him before security grabbed him—I was lucky to keep my job."

"When was the last time you saw him?" Dean asked.

"A few nights ago." Madison answered. "Actually, the night Nate died. We were all getting drinks at this bar, and Kurt showed up."

"And?" Dean inquired, trying to get more out of her.

Madison shook her head. "Nothing. It was…like he was watching me. Then he was gone. To tell you the truth…he scares me."

"I'm sorry about that. We'll see what we can do—about everything." I told her, giving her a smile. "Thank you so much for your time."

Madison smiled and nodded. "No problem."

Since we were done questioning her, she showed us to the door, and I gave a wave and she smiled, shutting the door. I liked that girl—she was brave, independent, and totally sweet…it was refreshing to say the least. I really hoped we could figure this out and that she wouldn't be part of it because I didn't want anything to happen to her—she was too awesome, honestly.

"What do you think?" Dean asked as we went down the stairs.

Sam shrugged a little. "Crazy ex-boyfriend. He hates the boss, and he was there that night."

"Think he's our dog-faced boy?" Dean asked as I stopped right at the bottom of the stairs.

"Well, it's a theory." Sam said, and I looked around.

It was like I could feel eyes boring into me…we weren't alone here. He was near and he was watching me. I didn't know where he was, but I knew that at this point, he was toying with me and he was onto me. It almost seemed like he was _hunting_ me…and _that_ thought didn't bode well with me since I didn't know _what_ he was…how did I kill him?

"We've had worse." Dean told him.

Sam raised his eyebrows. "Yeah?"

"What do you say we pay a visit to our friend, Kurt?" Dean asked, both at the car, and he looked over at me. "Lanni?"

I pulled myself out of my head and hurried down the sidewalk to the car, looking around one last time as the boys waited for me to get in the car, and then I sat in the back seat and didn't say a word. What was happening to me? Was I going insane or was this honest to God happening right now and I was staring down the barrel at death?

xxxx

I opted to stay in the hotel while they went to go and see Kurt even though Dean was very against me being on my own. It took a lot to convince him that I was fine and I could handle myself and if all else failed, contact him and Sam if I needed them. I had the doors locked, and a gun near me in case the wolf showed up, and I had a pendant on that Bobby had given us, so I wouldn't be getting possessed so…everything was going to be just fine.

"Calm down, Lana. It's all, all right." I told myself.

But it wasn't—something was wrong. I was _never_ this paranoid…never this _scared_. I didn't know what was happening to me and that was when everything clicked for me—I was giving in. I was letting myself think I was going to die—I was being weak. I wasn't going to die. The demon would show itself, and then I would kill it orr Sam and Dean would come in and save the say.

I jumped when my phone rang though and then cursed under my breath, sad I was ridiculous like this. It was prolly just Jen, Annie, or Sam or Dean so why was I being jumpy. If I didn't have my wits about me then there was no way that I was going to get through this. Yes, everything scared me because of getting buried alive and having a demon possess me, but that couldn't happen now and I needed to answer my damn phone and talk to whoever was calling so they knew I was just fine.

"Hello?" I asked quickly.

"Hey, Lan. We really do think that Kurt is the werewolf." Sam told me.

I nodded slowly. "Okay, then Madison is in trouble."

"Exactly what I thought." Sam said.

"Okay, so I guess you guys should head over there—straight away." I added, because I didn't want them to come a pick me up.

I hung up before Sam could protest and then grabbed my jacket and headed over to Madison's. I knocked on the door and when she opened it up she smiled at me even though I knew she wasn't _entirely _happy to see me because I was a 'Fed'…yeah, except not and I felt safer with Madison than on my own…

"Hey." She said smiling.

"Hi. Um, we're afraid Kurt might try something, so I'm here to look after you—my partners will show up later." I said.

Madison nodded at me. "Come on in then."

I followed her inside and smiled happily. "God I'm gonna miss that."

"Miss what?" Madison asked and I realized what I'd said.

I hadn't meant to say it but it had just come out when I had smelt the aroma of coffee and I liked her. It was pretty awesome that she and I had so many of the same things in common. The books on her book shelves, the coffee no matter what time of day—I liked her…I liked her a lot.

"Oh, I was just—I'm a coffee addict." I told her with a smile. "My name's Lana, by the way."

She smiled too, and then she handed me a mug of coffee and I took a sip, very happy to and I zoned out for a moment. What if this _was _just a scare tactic? What if there was something else bigger going on that we hadn't realized yet? It just didn't make sense to me why _I _had to be the one to die…what was the point behind it? I just…I was starting to feel doomed and I wanted old me back—fun me.

"That must be them." Madison said, going to the door, and I shook the thoughts away, wishing I could focus. "Come on in boys. Lana here tells me you're worried about Kurt."

"Yeah…has Kurt been here?" Sam asked her.

Madison poured them coffee. "Not exactly."

"What does 'not exactly' mean?" Dean asked her.

Madison took a breath. "Well, last night he was here, watching me. Just watching me. Has he done something?"

"It's probably nothing, but we want to make sure." Sam explained to her.

"In fact, one of us should probably stay the night with you." Dean told her with a nod. "Where does he work?"

I nodded a little at the way Dean had said 'one of us should probably stay the night with you', and shook my head a little. Way to get himself in there—I would rather Sam get the girl this time around since he seemed interested too, but if Dean got her, then Dean got her and that the end of that.

"He owns a body shop." Madison replied.

Dean nodded at her. "You mind grabbing that address for us?"

"Sure." Madison answered, and left the room.

"All right, you go. I'll stay." Sam said.

"Forget that. You go after the creepy ex, and I'll stay with the hot chick." Dean replied with a grin.

Sam scoffed at him angrily. "Dude, why do you always get to stay with the girls?"

"Because I'm older." Dean said, sipping coffee, and then he glanced at me and then looked back at Sam as I just sipped more coffee and avoided direct eye contact.

"No, screw that. We settle this the old fashioned way." Sam told Dean, taking his coffee from him and setting it down, turning to him, and they started to play rock, paper, scissors, in which Dean did scissors and Sam did a rock. "Dean, always with the scissors." Sam told him, resting his hands on Dean's shoulders.

"Shut-up. Shut-up. Two out of three." Dean told him, but Dean did scissors yet again, and Sam did a rock, meaning Sam won. "God!"

Sam grinned at him. "Bundle up out there, all right?"

I smiled at the disgruntled look on Dean's face that turned into a little smirk as he headed out and I looked at Sam and drank the rest of my coffee. He looked pretty pleased with himself for winning rock-paper-scissors, and honestly? Honestly I was glad he got to stay with Madison too because I thought Sam deserved this.

"I'm glad you won, Sammy." I told him, getting ready to go with Dean.

Sam smiled at me. "You going to go with him?"

I shook my head. "Nah. I think I'm going to hang out at the motel, actually. I'm not so excited about this whole creepy stalker thing, and I bet Dean has it completely under control."

With that said, I went out to see Dean who was sitting in the car waiting for me and I got in the passenger seat. He smiled at me and then he shook his head, his smile fading when he saw the look on my face. Why did he know me so well? It would be nice to be able to sometimes _not _be able to be read…I was just saying.

"You're coming with me—I left you alone once, and I'm not doing it again." Dean told me with a shrug, turning over the engine.

I smiled and laughed a little. "Fine…let's go to his body shop then."

Dean nodded and the two of us headed to the body shop, finding out that he hadn't been to work in a few days and that he was probably at this strip club. I was tired and I wanted to sleep, so after a little argument with Dean, he dropped me off to sleep and he went off to the strip club on his own. It was probably better for him anyway—he'd have more time to focus on the pole dancers and he wouldn't have to feel like he had to watch me like a hawk every second when I was getting tired of it.

I ended up picking up the phone and calling Dean when I was done e-mailing Jen and Annie, and I smiled when he actually picked up. Honestly I had expected to get his voicemail, but I had wanted to talk to _someone_. Sam was probably busy with Madison and I was kind of glad to give him his space…Dean had had hookers before and he could take some time out to talk to me.

"Are you tipping well?" I asked him when he picked up.

Dean chuckled. "I'd like to think so."

"Give her something more than ones if you wanna get lucky." I told him, running my fingers along the comforter.

"Oh so now you _want_ me to get lucky?" Dean asked me. "Cause you didn't before."

"I want you to be happy." I replied shrugging. "It's cheesy and it's mushy, but it's true."

Dean chuckled and I lay down and snuggled into the bed, listening intently. The music started to fade and I opened my eyes—what was he doing? He couldn't be _leaving _if he was keeping an eye on Kurt and he _knew_ that.

"What are you wearing?" Dean asked me.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "You totally cannot ask that question when I'm not wearing anything fun…or at least you can't ask it when I'm wearing clothes."

Dean chuckled. "What did you crawl into bed in?"

"Still wearing my sweater and my jeans." I explained. "Are you in a car?"

"I'm following him home." Dean explained to me. "You didn't change?"

I shook my head and closed my eyes again. "I'm too lazy to change into bed clothes."

"Well you didn't have to change _into_ anything. Just _out_ of them." Dean informed me and I smirked.

"Now why would I go to bed without any clothes on if you weren't here?" I asked him, and then I paused because _he_ was allowed to flirt now…I wasn't sure that applied to me.

Dean chuckled though—thank God. "Good point."

I yawned, and then I smiled. "I think I'm going to go ahead and go to sleep now. Wake me when you get in, okay?"

"I promise." Dean replied sincerely. "Night, Lanni."

"Night, Dean." I told him, and hung up the phone, setting it on the nightstand before I turned off the lamp and went to sleep.

xxxx

I woke up the next morning screaming and sweating. I had, had the worst nightmare yet. Shaking the thoughts away, I hurried into the shower and I bathed, getting out and getting dressed, suddenly realizing that I was alone in the motel. Looking at my phone, I noticed I had one new voicemail, and I listened to it, desperate to be kept in the loop.

"Lanni? It's me. I just wanted to tell you to meet us at Madison's place. You're probably sleeping, but she's the werewolf. She killed Kurt." Dean said, and that was that.

I hurried over to Madison's and Dean opened the door for me, and I walked in to see Madison tied to a chair. I was actually feeling pretty good that I wasn't feeling scared out of my wits, _and_ that neither Sam nor Dean felt like babying me today. At the same time…the feelings were definitely _not_ gone and that was a little unsettling, not gonna lie. Besides…Dean needed to protect Sam and if Madison was the werewolf, Sam was in the most immediate danger.

"Good timing. I just got here." Dean told me.

I nodded at that. "How's Sam taking it?"

Dean raised an eyebrow and I waved it off—it was obvious to me the look in Sam's eyes. He hadn't felt this way about a girl since Sara…that much was pretty obvious and I felt bad for him. Why couldn't Sam find a girl that wasn't some kind of supernatural freak? Why couldn't Sara be here to be with him? I loved that girl!

"She knows we're not cops, huh?" I asked Dean.

Dean nodded slowly. "Definitely by now."

"We gotta talk." Sam told us.

"I'll stay here." I said, and went into the room with Madison. "I'm sorry."

"If you're so sorry, can you please untie me?" Madison asked me.

I looked at the ground. "Actually, I can't. You see those guys? I totally can't take them."

I smiled a little at that and then I bit my lip because I had things to ask her, but at the same time was it the time? I mean she was scared to death that we were going to kill her, and I wanted to know about her dead stalker? Madison caught on too and looked at me, both of us making eye contact and staying there for a little while just staring.

"You look like something's on your mind." Madison told me finally.

I took a deep breath. "Madison…when you felt Kurt watching you…was it scarier to see him watching you, or was it scarier to be able to feel that he was watching you?"

Madison swallowed. "As scary as it was to feel him watching me, it was scarier to know he was actually there."

"Okay." I answered with a nod.

She looked at me questioningly. "Why?"

"Nothing. I was…I was just wondering is all." I told her.

I knew I was a terrible liar, but before she could say anything, Sam and Dean came back into the room. They looked determined and I knew they had come up with something so I backed off and let them take over.

"Madison…when were you mugged?" Sam asked, but she was silent. "Please. It's important, all right. Just—answer the question."

"About a month ago." She said after a pause.

Sam nodded and continued quickly. "Did you see the guy?"

"No." She replied. "He grabbed me from behind."

"Did he bite you?" Sam asked.

So this is what he was getting at—he was going with John's theory: if you kill what bites them, then they're not infected anymore. It was far fetched, and had no actual legitimate proof to back it up, but neither of us wanted to kill Madison if we didn't have to. If there was way to keep her alive, then we were going to find it no matter what it takes.

"How did you know that?" She asked him.

"Where?" Sam asked as Dean and I both realized Sam was onto something.

"O-On the back of my neck." She replied.

Sam wanted to let her know that he could be trusted, so he showed her the gun and put it down on the dresser. She nodded a little and so he went over to her slowly and moved her hair away from her neck. Madison had _definitely _been bitten, which meant that she was _definitely_ our werewolf and we were _definitely _going to have to keep her under observation.

"Oh, that's just a love bite." Dean said as he and I looked at it too. "Believe me, it could have been a lot worse. Where were you when it happened?"

She looked up at him. "Walking home, from a friend's loft."

"Let me guess. Not too far from Hunter's Point?" Sam asked.

Madison nodded, and then Sam and Dean went into the other room again to talk things over, leaving me with Madison. I felt so bad about everything that was happening to her, and I hoped that we could fix this…I didn't want Sam to have to go through this. I sighed, looking at Madison as tears rolled down her cheeks and I bit my lip but I knew I needed to talk to her.

"I'm so sorry. We're going to fix this." I told her.

"Come on, Lanni—you're with me." Dean said as he poked his head back in.

I nodded, and followed him out, both of us going and parking at Hunter's Point, watching. Dean was pretty focused on finding this werewolf because Sam wanted to save Madison so much, and I was focused on it too. There were no vibes—no nothing that made me feel awkward but then I felt it—the werewolf was near. We saw a blonde hooker walking around, and then the werewolf showed up and Dean shot it down, the girl running off.

"Yeah, don't mention it!" He called after her, and we both knelt down as the real Glenn surfaced, his teeth returning to normal.

"What happened? Where am I?" Glenn asked blood in his mouth. "H-help me. God, oh my God."

Dean looked up as we heard sirens, and I rested my hand on a part of Glenn's shirt that didn't have blood on it. I really wished that Glenn hadn't been suffering like this, because he honestly didn't look like he knew what was going on. Did he even _know_ that he was a werewolf? This wasn't working…

"Easy Glenn, just take it easy." Dean told him.

"It's going to be okay." I managed to say before he died.

Dean and I looked at Glenn's body for a few moments before Dean got up and held out his hand for mine. I accepted his hand and he pulled me up, me pulling my hand from his when I realized I had some blood on it. He nodded at me and we went back to the motel, cleaning up and then sitting down on the bed and looking at each other.

"You okay? You're really looking shaken up." He told me softly. "That's not normally like you with cases like this."

"I just—he had no idea. None whatsoever." I said slowly, biting my lip.

Dean nodded and held me. "Yeah, it was kind of sad."

I stroked his hair. "What happened last night?"

"Madison knocked me out." Dean replied and chuckled when I told him I was sorry. "Me too. It's really manly to get knocked out by a female werewolf, huh?"

"You've been knocked around by weaker females." I told him and smiled when he gave me a look.

We both ended up laughing about it and then he used his free hand to stroke my cheek and he took a deep breath. He wanted to protect me, and he wanted me safe, but he also hated it when I was so upset. I took his hand and kissed it, putting our hands on his thigh and taking a deep breath.

"You're manly enough for me, that's for sure, all right?" I told him, shrugging.

Dean smiled at me. "I need you to stop being distant, Lanni."

"Promise—now let's go make sure that Madison and Sammy are doing okay, all right? If we have to shoot her and this doesn't work…you have to do it." I said softly.

Dean nodded at me and we went to Madison's place so that we could watch over them and keep everything controlled. Sam looked so hopeful about it all and Madison was glad to be untied, and I was glad that she and time had time to spend together. The two of them were kind of perfect together, and I smiled at them and then glanced at Dean, he and I making direct eye contact before looking back at Sam and Madison.

"We gotta hang in there until sunup." Sam told her, and I focused on the looks of care that Sam was giving Madison, instead of the fact that now the demon wanted me to know where he was.

"Well, looks like we got a few hours to kill. Poker, anyone?" Dean offered us.

We actually ended up all doing various things: we got to know Madison a little better, and she was my kind of girl—even had 'The Complete Works of William Shakespeare' which she let me read the majority of the day. When it got to be night time, Dean and I sat by the window, Dean looking out of it, me with my nose in the book. He set his gun on an end table, and Madison and Sam looked at it.

"Oh, no, you guys talk." Dean said, not even looking at them and then he leaned his arm over and smiled at me as I snuggled into him and continued to read.

We stayed there until sunrise, all of us watching it and smiling because it seemed to have worked—Madison hadn't turned. That meant that Madison was free from this curse and if that was true, then she didn't have to die…we'd saved her. The look in Sam's eyes was just so…he was _happy_…and I was glad.

"Does—does this mean it worked?" Madison asked happily as Sam nodded his head merrily.

He took a breath, looking at the sunrise. "Yeah, I think so."

"Oh, God, thank you. Thank you so much." Madison said, hugging Sam fiercely, Dean coughing to get noticed for _his_ actions as well.

"And you too, Dean." She said pulling away from Sam. "Thank you."

"Nah, don't mention it." He told her, chuckling.

"And you. Thank you." She said, hugging me, and I hugged her back.

I smiled at her. "No problem."

"I just—thanks for being here for me. I hope you figure out that little problem of yours too." She said, referring to the question I'd asked earlier—referring to my demon—_literally_ referring to my demon.

"So, I'm just going to head back to the hotel, and watch some pay-per-view or something." Dean said, backing up towards the door. "Lanni? You want to join me?"

I gave him a look. "Yeah. Sure."

I looked at Sam and Madison, walking backwards and mouth, 'sorry about him', before following Dean back to the hotel. He went to get some food, and I freaked out again, the feeling still feeling like he was in the room…like the guy coming for me was _in_ the room. When Dean got back, he set the food down and looked at me, sitting next to me on the bed as I wiped the tears off my face…this was really happening.

"Why are you crying? I know Glenn's death was hard on you, Lanni, but normally you're tougher than this." He said softly.

"It has nothing to do with werewolves, Dean." I told him and then I closed my eyes and groaned. "Why is it that lately I can't do this? I'm normally not this pathetic! I just…what if I _do_ die, Dean? What if this is really the last time you and I are ever going to get to spend time together and eat together?"

Dean shook his head. "It won't be."

"But you don't _know_ that." I told him, and I realized that this was the perfect time to get my unfinished business out of the way when Dean swallowed and looked me in the eye. "I want you to be happy, Dean. I mean you believe that right?"

"I'm not going to let you die, Lanni." Dean said and then before I knew it, he was kissing me and it took me a moment to react.

I returned the kiss though and I smiled into it as he held me closer to him, both of us focused on each other. It wasn't something I deserved from him, no matter the month I'd spent trying to make it up to him, but when he got upset that I was trying to pull away, I just gave into it. Dean's hands were seasoned, and it wasn't like he hadn't gotten to pick up any new things lately—he'd been a beautiful, busy bee.

The thing was that I was afraid I was going to lose him and that he actually thought he was going to lose me so I started to cry. It wasn't sobbing…it was just tears and Dean nodded in understanding, but we continued where we were going. We made eye contact as much as possible, we kept the other's body close, and afterwards Dean just held me to him and stroked my hair, letting his lips trail along my damp skin wherever they wanted to go and I liked that.

I made sure that Dean fell asleep before I did so that I could watch him sleep. It was kind of cute because he had been trying to fall asleep before _me _and then sleep had overtook him and then I had the heart to fall asleep after looking at his adorable face. I snuggled into him and fell asleep, glad that I was in his arms like this.

All of that was then brought back into focus when Sam came bursting into the hotel room, talking about how Madison had turned. I sat up and then hurried into the bathroom with the sheet around me and some clothes so I could change into them, wishing that there was more I could do. I got dressed and followed Sam and Dean down the stairs, both talking about how Bobby had nothing—no one had anything. The theory didn't work…she was going to be a werewolf forever.

Sam and Dean started to argue again, but this time about how part of her was a monster, and Sam got defensive—people said that about him too. Me? I was part demon. That made me worse than Madison, but I didn't want to talk about it. They didn't need me to talk about it and I knew that and I knew that this wasn't about me…it was about Madison and how we needed another option.

I looked around as they argued, Sam's love for Madison growing with each angry word, and my eyes landed on the demon. He gave a wave, taunting me, and then I heard the words, 'Your Daddy says hello' in my head before I looked at the boys to see that they had no idea I wasn't listening, and then looked back to see the demon gone. He was here and he was ready for me, and I needed to stay calm…demon meant I could take him out with my powers…and I was pulled out of my thoughts by Madison calling so we picked up and headed to her place, all of us sitting there listening to her talk.

"I don't remember anything. I probably killed someone last night." Madison told us sadly. "Didn't I?"

Dean shook his head. "There's no way to tell yet."

"Is there something else we can try? Something else to make this go away?" Madison asked us.

Sam said he was sure there were other things to try, but Dean told her they were up against a brick wall, and there was no cure. Sam's hurt face, and Madison's and Dean's, all made something break inside of me—they went through enough pain as it was. Why more? Why now? Madison didn't want to hurt anybody—didn't want to hurt Sam. It was even worse when Madison asked Sam to kill her, and Sam said he couldn't, making Dean take the gun from her.

It was too hard for me to stay there and I didn't want to see Madison get shot even though I wanted to be there for Sam. So I headed outside and took a deep breath—Sam thought he had to do this for Madison but Dean and I didn't want him to do this…knew he had to, but didn't want him to. Then I opened my eyes wide and cam face to face with the demon.

"What do you want? What does my father want?" I asked him.

"He wants you dead." The man said, and then he opened up his hand and made a tight fist, causing me to scream, which was at first drowned out by the sound of a gunshot—Sam went through with it.

I made a fireball in my hand but my head was searing in so much pain that it went out as I tried to focus. It was almost like his fist was holding my brain—breaking it and crushing it in his grasp. I felt blood gush into my mouth, and my vision began to go blurry as I heard another scream, only this one familiar as I tried to make another fireball and threw it. The metallic taste got worse as I hit the ground, and I closed my eyes because I didn't have anymore strength left.

"Lanni? No! Lanni! Lanni! Get up, Lanni! Come on!" Annie said, the tears spilling out of her eyes, a couple splattering against my cheeks.

I smiled weakly. "I love you, Annie."

I heard a door slam, and as Dean cried my name, I choked a bit on my blood, and then everything went very black—and I felt cold…

**Note: And there you have it. I really do suggest tissues for the next chapter whether you like Lana or not. Just remember that this story isn't even halfway finished yet too so there's a LOT more to come. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	43. Moving On

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Seriously people…TISSUES.**

**I mean I'm more attached than you guys but I sobbed rewriting this so…be aware of that.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Everything happened so fast. Nothing was going right. Nothing was going my way. I had had the feeling that something bad was going to happen. I had felt like I was being watched—hunted—but I wasn't actually sure I would end up like this. I hadn't expected to actually slip into a coma because I thought I could use my fireballs to kill a demon but…this demon had been _strong_…and I didn't think I was coming back.

"Okay, Sammy…pull out the weedgie board." I said, standing in the room where Sam and Dean were sitting on either side of my hospital bed.

The doctor strolled into the room. "Morning."

"What did the test results say?" Sam asked, standing up immediately as Dean kissed my hand.

"She's practically brain dead." The doctor replied softly. "She's—there's no chance she's going to wake-up from this. It was a really bad hemorrhage."

"No." I said softly, shaking my head. "No."

"What?" Sam asked as Dean held my hand and some tears he had been trying to keep in slid down his cheeks.

How could this possibly be happening and _why _did I have to watch it? I should have stayed inside to just deal with what Sam and Dean were going through but no…I had been an idiot and gone out by myself. I was lucky that Annie had showed up when she had but it hadn't been enough…I was brain-dead…or at least I was going to be soon.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I couldn't believe that she was actually dying right in the bed next to me. I mean I _knew_ when she was freaking out that she felt like she was going to die but why did it have to be _Lana_? Why? The one woman that I had given everything too…the one that I was forgiving…why did it have to be _her_?

"When can we claim her body?" Annie asked, coming into the room.

Sam and I gave her looks, but part of me knew that she was just doing what she thought was the right thing to do. He and I had heard her conversation to Jen and they had all three been convinced that it was going to happen and that it was inevitable…but why was it that the demon had been after Lana? What was it about her that made it so that _she _had to be singled out? Why couldn't I put it all together?

"Annie!" Sam said in a soft, strong voice.

"Sammy, I will explain to you later. Just…please…how long should we wait before we take her off of life support?" Annie asked the doctor.

"You're not even willing to see if there will be a miracle?" Sam asked her and I could tell that he was losing patience with her.

The doctor took a deep breath. "We can wait for a good day or two. After about two and a half days, her organs will shut down."

Annie nodded, trying to be strong. "Lanni would want to donate her organs."

"We wait two days." I said, speaking for the first time in hours.

I knew that everyone was looking at me, but I had to let them know that I was part of this decision. I looked up and the doctor and I made direct eye contact, then the doctor nodded and left the room, Sam whirling on Annie. Annie knew that there was a blow coming and she took a breath, trying to keep her tears in.

"What is wrong with you, Annie?" Sam asked, completely devastated at this point.

Annie wiped a fallen tear away. "Sammy, this is what Lanni would want—you _heard_ the doctor, didn't you?"

"If there is a way to save Lanni then we'll find it." Jen said, coming into the room and taking off her jacket. "I think you need to be prepared for her to die though."

"But we can fix this!" Sam protested loudly.

I took a deep breath. "Sam, keep your voice down—that isn't helping."

Sam nodded at me and Jen and Annie both exchanged glances as I looked back down at Lana lying there unconscious. She was hooked up to machines that were monitoring everything that her body was doing and it was killing me. What if this was really it and I really did lose her? What was I going to do if she was taken away from me like this? I _had_ to find a way to save her and I had to find the way _now_.

"Did the demon get away?" Jen asked us.

Annie took a deep breath. "Yeah…she tried to hit it with a fireball but she missed…he said his job was done though…"

"What job? What the Hell does it mean?" Sam asked them.

"It means that Lan was a threat and the demon took care of it." Jen explained sadly. "Demons are a much more normal part of our lives than you realize, Sammy. As you know, Annie and Lana have no idea who their real father is. The key to finding out his identity is finding their mother, which is a feat all in itself. Remember trying to find John? Tracking Florence down is just as hard."

Annie took a deep breath. "And the reason we're telling you this, is because the job was issued by Dad: he wants Lana dead."

"He's a demon—it's not all that surprising." I told them bitterly.

"Okay but she's his daughter and we know that demons have gray areas—I mean he had children with a human." Sam protested. "Doesn't that count?"

I shook my head as Jen smiled at him and reached into my jacket pocket to pull out the jewelry box. I'd been looking at it everyday since things fell apart and this seemed like the best way to do all of this if I was really losing her. So I opened up the box and slid the engagement ring onto her finger…I didn't want her to be without it.

Jen took a deep breath. "Not really, Sam. I mean as much as I want to believe you, their dad could have just been looking for a good night and werewolves—the majority of them—fall into that 'demonic' category."

"Just in it for one night? With the same woman, years apart?" Sam asked her skeptically.

"Sammy, our Dad left our mother to die and in order to keep us safe, she gave us to Bethany and Marcus." Annie explained to him. "We got a new life—a new home—we got to live. And now—now Lanni has fallen in with demon hunters…_damn_ good demon hunters. Do you see any demons wanting their daughters to hunt demons? I got off easy—I haven't killed hardly any demons at all. I was more sheltered. Just—just please can we stop talking about this? Lana has two days and we should be figuring out how to save her if we can."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"I don't see how any of this is even fair." I said aloud to myself.

I knew that this was what Jen, Annie and I had seen, and I was pretty certain that this was my last legs. Dean had slid that ring onto my finger and kissed my had and I just…I couldn't leave without saying 'goodbye'—I'd told him I'd never do that. I _refused_ to move on before I said my 'goodbyes'…screw my promise.

Jen literally had to drag Dean out of my room to make him eat after a little while of watching them all too. It was sweet that her motherly instincts made her look after him, but I was still worried about him. This was going to break him, and still, no one had pulled out the weedgie board. Dean wouldn't remember it, due to the fact that he remembered nothing of his near death experience, and I think Sam was too completely devastated to think straight.

For the last hour, he'd been reading to me out of my 'Complete Works of William Shakespeare' that I had buried in my duffle. He kept looking over at me, expecting me to wake up, but I wasn't going to. Of course I hadn't seen a Reaper yet either, so maybe my luck was changing…maybe my bad karma was becoming good karma.

"That's what you'd like to think." A man said.

I turned to see a blonde-haired man in a suit and I sighed. "You're my Reaper?"

He nodded slowly. "I wasn't going to show up until a few hours before they took you off of life support, but you have some issues you need to get through…obstacles to climb."

"What's your name?" I asked him.

"To you, it's Andrew." He said with a smile.

I nodded slowly. "Okay, Andrew."

He smiled at me and then he looked at Sam as I watched him, me noting that look on his face and I made a face. What exactly was going on in his mind that he was looking at Sam like that? Andrew didn't even look back at me, he just kept watching what was going on in my hospital room.

He smiled a little more. "He loves you."

"Yeah, we're practically best friends—I love him too." I explained to him.

Andrew nodded slowly. "You've gotten yourself into quite a mess and I am here to help you fix that, Lana. We don't want anything here tying you down. You want to move on, right? You promised Annie you wouldn't be a spirit?"

I took a deep breath. "Yeah…so you're telling me that unless I own up about everything bothering me, I'll be an angry spirit?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying, Lana, but I'm not rushing you—you have a good 48 hours." He explained to me.

I nodded, and looked at Sam as he read some more to me, and then stopped, setting the book down and holding my hand. He kissed it softly, and then the tears came, and so did mine because I hated this. I hated having to just _watch_ everything happen because I wanted to fix this but I couldn't…I was just a spirit right now.

"You have to pull through this, Lanni." Sam whispered to me. "Please."

I wiped a tear away as I realized he called me 'Lanni', and I sat down in the chair in the corner, putting my head in my hands. I knew that Sam and I had no romantic feelings towards each other—I could feel that in my heart—but it hurt that he was _this _worried about me and using that nickname. Why was it that I had to hurt them this much more? Why hadn't I left when I had the chance? Except that Dean had wanted me to stay…he had wanted to be near me…

"I really need you to wake up, Lanni. Come on. I can't let you die. I can't just sit here like Jen, Annie and Dean. It isn't fair to let you just lay here. I love you, Lanni. I'm not saying I want to spend the rest of my life with you, because I don't…not like that." Sam explained to me. "I just…I want you to be around to be in my life. I miss you siding with both Dean and I in arguments, I miss you making Dean smile when no one else can, and I want to be able to find a miracle so you and Dean can start a family. Come on, Lan…we need you here. Me and Dean. Jen, Kaydee, Minah, Annie—your mother even…we need you to be with us. Please pull through this. Please."

I wiped tears away and stood up, looking at Andrew. "How could this happen to them right now? To Sam right now? This is what, the day after the Full Moon? Sam just had to shoot Maddie! Have you seen where his head's at?" I asked angrily, the tears coming as I looked back at Sam. "Please don't tear me away from him. He needs me. I need him."

Andrew rested a hand on my shoulder. "Lana…some things have to happen…even if it's devastating. There is _always_ a plan."

It hurt me that he had just said what he had said to me because I believed him—there is _always_ a plan. I firmly believed that everything happened for a reason and maybe in a deeply sad way, _this_ had to happen. Maybe I _had_ to die because there was a bigger plan in motion…but why now? Why did everyone have to fall apart right _now_?

I turned to Andrew. "Even if it's going to break them? There are so many things that I can't say to them. So many things I want them to hear."

"They know you love them." Andrew said, looking me in the eye. "They know that you would have done anything for them. They'll never remember bad things about you…they'll keep you in their hearts."

What he was saying helped and didn't all at once—I wanted to hug Sam. Pull him to me, kiss him and tell him how sorry I was to leave. How sorry I was that all of this was happening to him. I didn't want to leave him and Dean like this…I didn't want to leave anyone like this. I needed to talk to them and let them know that I was all right, and that I didn't fear death…I was just afraid of being away from them.

"Andrew, please…please let me talk to them." I begged him.

Andrew sighed and shook his head. "Lana, I can't do that. I'm here to have you face your demons, your fears—everything that's keeping you here…that's _all_ I do."

I nodded sadly, too tired to argue with him, and I wished I could touch Sam…wished he would know I was here—watching. I looked up as Dean came into the room and Sam looked up and smiled sadly. The look between them was tearing my heart to pieces and I had to take deep breaths.

"Can I be alone with her, please?" Dean asked Sam.

Sam nodded quickly. "Of course—I'll go get coffee with the girls."

I smiled a little at that—how I would love to have some coffee right about now. Sam got up and headed for the door, glancing at Dean and nodding softly as Dean walked over to my hospital bed slowly. After Sam shut the door behind him, Dean ran his hand down his face and then he took a deep breath.

"God, why does this happen to me?" Dean asked brokenly, and he climbed onto the hospital bed with my body, and he rested there, holding me to him. "Can't you wake up?"

I turned to Andrew. "Can't I?"

Andrew shook his head softly, and I nodded slowly, looking at Dean and starting to cry again. I _hated_ seeing Dean like this—on the verge of tears—and I hated even _more_ that I couldn't _do_ anything about it. He was just lying there holding onto me, talking to me in hopes that I would hear him and I would move…in hopes that I would get up.

"I'm being selfish here, but this isn't fair. It isn't fair for me _or_ Sammy. We lost Mom, Dad, he lost Jessica and Madison…we can't lose you too. We need you. _I_ need you. We're perfect together." Dean whispered to me. "Yeah, I still feel like we have a trust issue because of everything that happened between us, but Baby I can't do this without you, all right? I don't see how it's fair for us to almost have a baby, and then lose the baby, and then for you to be buried alive. We finally started in a good place, Lanni…we were starting over and we were being truthful, and I just…I want this new chance of ours to work…Baby, I need you."

"I need you too." I whispered softly through the tears even though he couldn't hear me.

"I think what I miss most is just you talking, honestly." Dean continued. "Through all the bad times, you always had the perfect thing to say to make me feel better if that was what you were going for. You were so calm about most things, and even when you cried, it wasn't a lot of blubbering…you cared. You cared _so_ much…I never showed you how much I really cared, ever, did I? I mean I cheated first, I always flirt, and I never gave you the chance to have any trust about Sam."

"Yes, you did." I said aloud. "Andrew, please. I need him to hear me."

"I need you." Dean whispered, kissing my lips, but I couldn't kiss him back and it was killing me. "Please come back."

I left the room because I couldn't take it anymore and Andrew followed me, not saying a word. This was torture…I couldn't believe after all this time Dean still felt like _he_ didn't deserve _me_…what the _Hell_? It was like some kind of character flaw with him to think that he was worthless when he wasn't…Dean Winchester was a hero and _I_ was lucky to be with _him_. I wanted to cope and go if I really had to die…if I wasn't getting back in my body I wanted to move on already.

"Andrew?" I asked him.

"Yes?" He replied without skipping a beat.

I took a deep breath. "What else do you want me to cope with?"

Andrew sat on one of the empty hospital beds and looked me in the eye. "There are only a couple more things for you, Lanni. You love Dean. You love Sam. They know it. You've bonded with your sister, been there for Jen and Kevin and the girls. You've even made peace with the fact that you've had a miscarriage and you can't have children. What's left, Lanni, is simply letting go…you seem more at peace. You don't like seeing Dean hurting, but that's because you care so much. You just have to let go. You're coping. You're realizing. Now you just need to be willing to move on."

"Not until I talk to them." I told him firmly. "Not until I get to actually say 'goodbye' to my family."

xxxx

Later on, Sam was sitting by my bed, Dean was out with Jen and Annie grabbing food to bring back, and I was watching. Still no board. No one was even trying to get onto this plane and it wasn't like Annie and Jen couldn't. Should I just leave? No. Then I'd have unfinished business, as Andrew kept pointing out to me. In order to move on, I had to be willing, and leaving without saying goodbye when I felt this strongly about it, constituted as unfinished business.

"Stop reading Othello, Sam. He kills his wife in the end." I said lovingly as Sam read a monologue that Iago had.

Andrew laughed softly. "He really thinks this Shakespeare stuff will bring you back."

"I know he does." I told him with a nod. "Othello is even my favorite one…even though it's depressing…it's beautiful and that's all that matters."

I looked up as Jen came into the room with Sam's duffle, and pulled out the weedgie board. Finally! It wasn't as good as getting on this plane of existence, but it was a start and from there I knew what Jen would think of. Andrew smile a little as my smile got bigger and he nodded—he was actually really sweet…for a Reaper.

"You can talk to them that way." Andrew told me as I smiled when Jen sat on the floor and moved the piece around on the board.

"Lana?" She asked aloud. "Are you here?"

I sat down in front of her and moved the piece to the 'YES' on the board.

Jen smiled at me. "Thank God. How are you?"

"What a thing to ask, Jen." I laughed softly.

I moved the letter's around to spell out, 'my reaper and I are doing okay. I want Dean, though. Oh, and Sammy, I love you too.'

Sam smiled at that and nodded. "I'm glad you heard all of that earlier. Does this mean you're coming back to us?"

I shook my head sadly, and slowly moved the piece to the 'NO'. Annie came into the room with Dean, both with food, and they both looked at the board and I moved the piece around to spell out, 'hi, Annie, and Dean. I miss you.' Annie just smiled, but the hope that crossed Dean's face made my heart pang—he wanted me back so desperately but I couldn't come back…not without a miracle that we didn't have.

"How do we get you back?" Dean asked suddenly.

I looked at his sad, yet hopeful face and started to cry, but spelled out, 'you don't.'

"What do you mean we don't?" He asked harshly.

I knew he hadn't meant it to be harsh but he was out of options and he didn't want me to die…and I didn't _want _to die…but I had to. I wiped a tear away and then moved the piece around to spell out, 'I mean that there's nothing you can do to save me, Dean. I'm simply glad to be telling you all goodbye before I move on.'

"You are _not_ moving on, Lan." Sam protested earnestly. "How do we save you?"

I smiled and spelled out, 'I know you mean well, but there's nothing to do.'

"There _has_ to be something we can do." Annie said firmly.

"Of course there is." Lance replied, coming into the room.

"What do you suggest?" Dean asked him, actually being cordial.

"I go to the other plane and I make a switch." Lance told him with a nod. "If it worked for John, I'm sure it'll work for me."

xxxx

I hugged Lance when he got onto the same plane as me…honestly I was going to miss him. I knew why he was here, and I knew what he was trying to do, but I couldn't let him. I knew how Dean felt everyday, knowing his father gave his life to save him, and I didn't want to walk around knowing Lance gave his life up for me. It wasn't right. It was my time to go, and I wanted people to understand that. As scared as I was of leaving everyone and everything behind, I didn't want Lance to deal with this.

"Don't worry, Kid. You'll be back out there in no time." Lance told me.

I shook my head. "Actually, I won't."

"Where's this reaper of yours?" Lance asked me, ignoring what I had said.

"Andrew isn't here right now." I replied slowly.

Lance raised his eyebrows. "Andrew?"

"My reaper." I explained to him with a small smile.

Lance nodded slowly. "So where is Andrew?"

I smiled at the effort Lance was putting into this, but he couldn't do this—not for me. Besides, that wasn't what Andrew did. He and I had been talking to each other about quite a lot of things and this was one of them. Andrew was simply here to help me to let go and to get my soul to where it belonged…he couldn't make deals.

"Andrew doesn't want to talk to you." I replied with a shrug.

Lance made a face. "Why not?"

"Andrew's afraid he'll get punched, actually." I said, and smiled. "But he told me everything I needed to know to tell you."

"About what?" Lance asked, a little annoyed.

I took a breath. "Andrew isn't going to make the switch. It isn't his place—isn't his job. He comes directly from the angel of death—his only job is to help me to move on, and he's doing well at it. I'm almost ready…I'm glad I get to say goodbye to you, and I really wish Kevin was here."

"Wow." Lance said, nodding slowly. "You seem so calm for a girl who has less than 48 hours to live."

"I guess." I shrugged. "I mean I'm coping."

Lance hugged me again, and I cried a little, but I composed myself as he took a breath and held me close. He was still my friend and he had come her to give up his life for me and I appreciated him for that more than he would ever know. I pulled out of the hug and kissed his cheek, smiling sadly.

"I'm always going to miss you, Lancey. Even though we drifted, you're my buddy." I told him.

"You too, Lan-Bon." He replied, and I wiped a tear away.

"Compose yourself—you're a man." I told him, trying to make light of the situation, and he nodded. "Hey…can you make sure that Jen, Dean and Annie have final say of what happens to my body, please?"

Lance nodded and smiled. "I promise."

I nodded too and watched him chant something, taking him back to the other plane—a ripple effect. I turned to look as Dean asked what had happened, and Lance explained that no switch could be made which broke Dean even more and the look on his face hurt me even more than before.

"I think we should all have our goodbyes out before she runs out of time." Lance told them. "It's really the only thing that we can do now."

Jen nodded slowly. "I second that motion."

Sam stood up. "I want to go first."

Dean was still lying on the hospital bed, and he looked at my lifeless body as Jen made Sam sit down, and then she moved him onto this plane. I smiled when Sam saw me, and the tears came as tears came to his eyes too. I ran to him, happy when he embraced me tightly, and kissed my head. He stroked my hair and took a breath and then I felt the grip on me loosen a bit.

"I really thought I'd never get to see you again." He said, pulling away and looking me in the eye.

I smiled through the sadness. "Blame the crazy world we live in."

"God, Lanni." Sam replied, pulling me to him again. "I don't know if we can do this."

"Aww, Sammy. You guys can get through this fine. I promise." I told him with a sad smile. "I'll always be with you."

Sam pulled away again and rested his forehead on mine and I nodded and we both closed our eyes. God it was going to hurt to lose him—he and I had latched onto each other to be best friends since we met. This wasn't fair…how could I leave them like this? I mean I knew that I had to but…it just hurt all over.

"I can't believe how calm you are." He said, and the tears came for both of us, hugging each other again.

"I can't either." I admitted softly. "Andrew's been a good guide—he's much more of a guardian angel than he is a reaper."

"That's sweet, Lana." Andrew said aloud.

Sam looked up at Andrew and gave a nod. "Thank you for taking care of her."

"It was pleasure." Andrew replied with a smile.

"I'm going to always love you." I said, looking Sam in the eye. "For me to have no unfinished business, I have to say this, okay?"

"Say what?" Sam asked me.

I took a breath. "I will always love you more than a brother, or a friend but less than a lover. You and I understand each other, and I love that about us. We'd never be close to each other again even if I was hurting…even if _you_ were hurting because in the end we know that us being together hurts more than it helps but we _get_ that. Still…I want you to know that I love you."

Sam smiled at me and stroked my hair, nodding as he tried hard not to cry in front of me. He watched as I wiped my tears away and then he nodded a little more and I knew that with Sam and Lance, there was no unfinished business. We understood each other, and that was the only thing that I could ask for…it was the only thing that was going to make this even a _smidge_ less hard.

"I understand the feeling, perfectly, Lanni." He replied smiling. "Ditto."

I nodded and smiled, kissing his forehead. "Now please…live. Don't let this bring you down, all right? Live…for me."

"All right." Sam promised me.

I hugged him tightly to me one last time and then I muttered the incantation and he rippled back onto the other plane. When he was returned I had just enough time to compose myself before Annie and Jen appeared to me. I was thankful that they were together, and yet I still wished I could see Kevin, but he was in Kansas with the girls.

"Kevin called and told me to tell you how much he's going to miss you. Even with the bickering, he always liked you." Jen told me.

I smiled and nodded. "Tell him I always liked him too."

Jen smiled at that and nodded and I was thankful for that—Kevin was a part of my family too, even though I never talked to him nearly enough. Still, knowing that he liked me and I liked him was enough, and when Annie came right up to me and hugged me fiercely, I felt the tears coming again. I hugged her back tightly, kissing her head and nodding slowly because I understood.

"We got jipped on time." Annie said sadly.

I nodded slowly. "That we did."

"I wish we'd come sooner." Jen told me. "We could have saved you."

"This was inevitable." I replied with a shrug. "Don't blame yourselves for anything."

Jen took a breath but she nodded, and Annie pulled away from me and let Jen have her moment too. I wrapped my arms around my closest and oldest friend and I kissed her, nodding when she kissed me back. She then pulled away and held me at arm's length, her eyes wet and she smiled at me.

"Wow." She said, nodding. "I always thought we'd be old when one of us died."

I nodded and laughed a little. "Well what with always fighting demons, one of us was sure to bite it early."

"But you were murdered…there's a difference." Annie said and I nodded and draped my arms around both of them, and they knew it was time to be a little more serious, so they perked up their ears as I swallowed.

"Hey…I want Dean to be the one to tell them to take me off of life support, but since I doubt he will, make sure it happens." I explained to them. "I know it's going to be hard for him, but he has to let go as much as I do. When I send him back, I want it done…I want to stop making my body hang on when it can't and I want my organs to be harvested, all right?"

Jen nodded quickly. "Promise, Lan, and I've already, as sad as it sounds, picked out a white dress for you."

"Thanks, Sweetheart, I trust your judgment." I assured her, not wanting to cry yet.

"And we've arranged to have you buried near Mom, Dad and Casey." Annie added slowly. "We thought that was what you would want."

I nodded and kissed both of their head. "It is…send him on in, please. I don't want to hold on too much longer when my body is giving out."

I was feeling a pain in my chest, and I knew it was because my heart was working to keep my body alive, and my body wasn't meant to hold on. This was just one of those things that had to happen and I was actually ready to face it…I just needed to finish this first. I didn't want anymore stress on the organs I was going to donate, but I wasn't leaving until I got to see Dean.

"We love you, Lan." Jen told me sincerely.

I smiled at her and Annie. "And I love you both too."

They smiled and we waved, and then they rippled out, and Dean rippled in—he had wanted to be last. He wanted to convince me to hold on, but I was far from convinced that this was for the better. A tear trickled out of his eye and hit the floor, before he kissed me. I knew this was his way of trying to resolve everything between us, and I gave in, crying a little, him doing the same.

I'd never really seen Dean cry to tell you the honest truth. Tears had come before, yes, and there were dry heaves, and the illusion of crying, but he was always so hard about it. To kiss him while he failed to hold back the sobs that were escaping, was weird and yet inspiring. He was so beautiful…he deserved so much…and as much as I was going to miss everyone else, I was going to miss him most of all.

"I can't lose you." He whispered to me, and he kissed me again as I ran my fingers through his hair, trying to keep my own sobs at bay.

"You have to pull the plug, Dean. I know it was hard for Sam to shoot Madison, even when he truly had to, and I know this is going to be hard on you, but you have to let me go." I said, sadly, wiping his tears away, as he wiped mine away and looked me in the eye as our kiss halted.

"I can't lose someone else." He told me softly. "Baby, you can't die."

I closed my eyes and smiled as his lips touched my forehead. "Dean, my body is battered and broken. My organs are failing—I'm not waking up from this. You have to put me out of my misery."

Dean held me to him tightly, stroking my hair and kissing my head, and we both cried as we stood there. We didn't want to let each other go but we had to and we both knew that deep down, but we held onto one another for what seemed like forever before the pain in my chest hit again, only this time a lot worse than it had before. My body was failing me…I had to finish up my 'goodbye' and I had to let them go…I had to let _Dean_ go.

"Please, Dean." I told him.

He kissed me again, and nodded. "You're my everything."

I nodded and wiped a tear away. "You're my everything too. I'll always be with you even though I won't be right beside you."

He ran his hand down his face and then kissed me one last time before I muttered the incantation, sending him back to his world. I watched as Dean called the doctor in, and reluctantly told him to go ahead and take me off of life support, and Annie and Lance jumped in about the organ donation. After the organs were harvested and Annie claimed the body, I smiled at them as they sat in the waiting room in silence, some crying, and some smiling as they thought of good times, and I turned to Andrew.

"I'm ready." I replied, a tear rolling down my cheek.

Andrew nodded, and then he made a surprised noise when I hugged him. "That doesn't normally happen. People aren't too happy to know they're dead."

"You were the perfect guide." I told him as I pulled away and smiled at him. "So…what do I do now?"

Andrew smiled too and stroked my hair. "Let go."

I nodded as the tears rolled down my cheeks and I looked back at my family and friends and I smiled at them through the sadness. They would make it without me…I knew they would…I just had to keep my promise now. I said my final 'goodbyes' that they couldn't hear and I did just what Andrew told me to do…I moved on.

xxxx

**Annie's POV**

The funeral was nice—it was sunny outside, and though all of us were crying, it was all right. We knew Lana had moved on and would be fine…the only part that was weighing on any of us, was that Dean didn't want to talk about her. Didn't want her name to be mentioned. If one of us mentioned her, he left the room. It was getting bad.

"Do you want to put the handful of dirt on the coffin?" I asked Dean.

He just knelt down and picked up the dirt, tossing it onto the coffin and then he straightened up and watched as Lance and Sam shoveled the rest of the dirt into the hole, and Jen and I stayed behind, Jen's arm over my shoulders, everyone else going back home. We'd been here for a while, but Jen and I were just amazed she was gone. We were even more amazed that Dean was actually letting go. We knew about his and Lana's 'goodbye'…we were also kind of flabbergasted when he put her engagement ring on a silver chain, and put it around her neck before we put her in the coffin. He'd buried everything he'd loved most.

"What do we do now?" I asked aloud.

Jen shrugged slowly. "I don't know, Annie. It's going to take some getting used to."

"Especially with Kate coming into town." I explained to her.

"Your good 'ol cousin Kate. How'd she take the news?" Jen asked me.

I shrugged a little. "Well she said she was flying right out. She's a way better demon hunter than…Kate Newman. Demon Hunter. Tell me you've heard of her hunting-wise, please, Jen."

Jen smiled at me and I had to smile back because she was also giving me that 'Mom' kind of look. She was giving me a hard time and I knew it and though I was a little annoyed, I was glad she was trying to lighten the mood a little bit.

"I have." Jen told me. "Doesn't she do a lot of hunts out of the Roadhouse?"

I nodded at her. "Yeah, she even started working with Jo, which is weird, cause they don't get along—both have run into Dean in their travels and carried that torch for him, you know? Yeah, it's going to be…yeah."

Jen nodded and we walked along. "So you think there may be something to fear?"

"No!" I told her, shaking my head vigorously. "She knows Lana's relationship with Dean. It's just…well…I'll let _her_ fill you in on it all."

"Okay, Annie. So what do we do for the rest of the day?" Jen asked me.

It was honestly a simple enough question but for some reason I just couldn't wrap my head around it. I was going to have to figure out something to do _without_ Lana here to weigh in on anything and it was strange. What was even stranger was that without Lana around…her house was mine. The house that she loved so much…that she missed whenever she was out hunting…how was I going to get through that?

"Take them to the house and make them food?" I suggested to Jen.

Jen smiled at that. "I'll get the girls ready to come on over then."

I nodded, and went to the house that Lana had had rebuilt after the fire, and Sam and Dean followed me inside. Dean wasn't in a talking mood. He didn't want food. He just went straight upstairs and laid down on Lana's bed. This wasn't _just_ Lana's house…Dean felt like it was his home too and without Lana in it…without her Dean didn't want to do much of anything…not since he'd tracked down and slaughtered the demon that had done this to her in the first place.

"I'm worried about him." I told Sam.

Sam nodded slowly. "I don't think he's ever loved someone this much before."

"So he's torturing himself by spending time in her room?" I asked him.

"It's not that simple, Annie." Sam explained to me, a sad smile on his face. "You see…the first day we met Lan at Chelsea's wake? We came back here, and those two had a lot of scotch, and slept together—in _that_ room, on _that_ bed. It's a very important thing for him…and it helps him to still feel close to Lan."

I nodded sadly. "Yeah…so, what do you think he'll eat?"

"I'm not sure." Sam replied with a shrug. "So Kate Newman is really your cousin?"

"Yeah, she is—on Mom's side." I explained to him.

"And she's working with Jo?" Sam asked me.

I laughed and nodded again. "Yeah."

"Wow." Sam said and then he nodded slowly. "This could be awkward."

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

Everything smelled like her…_everything_. I had no tears to shed—I was a man, for God's sake. It was just that she was _actually_ gone…and she wasn't coming back this time. This wasn't just some prank that Victoria was playing on us for fun…I was _really _alone…again. I hadn't felt this alone since Dad died, and when that had happened, I had had Lana with me and she had gotten me through it. I didn't care about anything bad that we had done to each other, or any of the things that we had put each other through anymore…I just missed her…I missed her so much.

Just looking at her room brought back memories that I wasn't sure I could really handle just yet. Everything spoke to who she was and what she believed and even though I felt close to her, I felt like my whole chest was being ripped apart. It was so cozy and perfect, and homey all at once…it was so Lana, and I loved it. I loved being in here because it was just her…and it was all I needed for now.

She had a desk that had old things in it and so I got off of the bed and opened the drawers. Some had pictures of her when she was younger with her parents and even though she seemed so happy in them she also seemed so lost. I was sad that the pictures we had of the two of us together were so few—I didn't like it when people got in my face with a camera. Even so, on her desk, in a picture frame, was a picture she'd taken lying next to me in bed, my favorite of her pajamas on, and I was sleeping. It made me smile a little because out of all the funny faced pictures of us…this one was her favorite.

"You are so beautiful, Lanni." I whispered, and set the picture down, finding a bible in her top drawer. "And you have so much faith."

"Dean?" Sam asked me suddenly, having come into the room.

I swallowed. "Yeah?"

"Annie wants you to eat." He told me.

I just nodded slowly, my eyes fixed on the bible in my hand, and then I put it back down on the desk as Sam and I stood in silence. When I had done that I found yet another copy of a Shakespeare play and I couldn't help but smile a little—Lana loved her Shakespeare. Sometimes she had even tried to read it aloud to me and I'd whine and complain about the injustice of being forced to listen to it.

"It's homemade tuna." Sam tried again.

"Yeah." I told him with a nod. "Okay."

I opened up her closet as Sam sighed, and set the plate on the desk and left the room. Even without her here, her clothes smelled like her and I really just couldn't get enough of them. One of the shirts in the closet was the one that she had worn when Sam told her she was part of the team…the day that she officially became part of Sam's and my life. She looked so beautiful with the sunlight in her hair…I missed that.

"I miss you." I told the closet, and then I stepped over to the radio and ran my fingers along it.

I figured it wouldn't hurt to listen to the last station that Lana had had it on, and so I turned it on. I listened to a couple commercials go by as I went over to the bed and laid down on it, and then a song came on that I found myself focusing on. The announcer said it was _**Heaven Forbid**_ by the Fray.

**Twenty years it's breaking you down**

**Now that you understand there's no one around.**

**Take a breath, just take a seat**

**You're falling apart and tearing at the seams.**

**Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why**

**Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright**

**It's on your face, is it on your mind**

**Would you care to build a house of your own.**

**How much longer, how long can you wait**

**It's like you wanted to go and give yourself away.**

**Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why**

**Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright.**

**It feels good.**

**Is that reason enough for you.**

**It feels good.**

**Is that reason enough for you.**

**Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why**

**Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright**

**Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why**

**Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright**

**Out of this one**

**Don't know how to get you out of this one**

**Don't know how to get you out of this one**

**Don't know how to get you out of this one**

**Don't know how to get you out of this one**

I looked up at the ceiling and I smiled a little, then looked at the tuna on the desk—there was no use in letting it sit there and go to waste. So I got up to go and eat it, bringing it back to the bed. When I was finished, I thought about some of the old times with Lana because my memories were all that I had now. The one that kept coming to mind was when she and I were expecting the baby and I was falling hard for her…that damned woman had a hold over me that I just couldn't ignore.

_Lana smiled as I kissed her neck, our wet naked bodies pressed against each other in the tub. She was sitting on me, and I had realized that since she had told me she was pregnant, I needed to be near her more often. I hadn't been able to vocalize to her how I felt about having a baby with her, but I knew that it was __**my **__job to keep Lana safe, and that if she __**really **__wanted this baby…then I would be here for her._

"_Dean…" She breathed._

_I kissed her neck swiftly and looked up into her eyes, smiling at her and cupping her face with my hand—she was so beautiful. Lana ran her fingers over my wet hair and rested her forehead against mine and I smiled happily. I loved that she loved being so close to me, and I hoped it would never stop…she was the only woman I wanted to be this close to, and I never wanted it to stop._

"_I'm so glad I have you." I whispered to her._

_She smiled at me even though it wasn't an 'I love you'. "I'm glad I have you too."_

_I kissed her softly and then even though I made a face at first when she pulled her lips back, I smiled when she made a trail of kisses to my neck. The sucking sensation and her fingers running along my skin felt __**amazing **__and I couldn't deny myself of her. She never seemed to mind either, so after a little fun in the tub we went and got dressed in our pajamas, Sam still out of the large hotel room that Lana had insisted we get this time around in order to wind down._

"_Come here." I told her once her nightgown was on._

_Lana walked over to me and leaned into me, our fingers entwining at our sides and our lips touching. We kissed each other softly, our fingers running along each other's hands and our lips massaging each other's. She had me, and she could get me to do whatever it was that she wanted me to do and she knew it, but she never took advantage of it…and __**that **__was what made her so different from all the rest of the women I had ever been with._

"_Dance with me?" She asked me._

"_I don't really dance." I told her, but the look on her face made me nod slowly. "For you though, I'd do anything."_

_She smiled at me. "__**Anything**__?"_

"_Within reason." I replied with a chuckled, swaying along with he body as the song Lana had dubbed as ours came on._

"_You know, you dance fine, so I wonder why you don't do it more often." Lana said softly._

_I smiled at that and shrugged a little, holding her body close to mine, and then I closed my eyes and rested my forehead against hers as she looked up at me. This was nice…to be able to be __**this**__ close to another person and know that they'd always be with you. I never wanted it to end…but at the same time I didn't want to get her hurt._

"_Make love to me?" She whispered, running her nose along mine._

_I chuckled softly. "Isn't that all we've been doing today?"_

_Lana shrugged, smirking. "And hasn't it been marvelous?"_

_I kissed her softly, my hands slowly going down her body, deepening our kiss and slowly lifting up her nightgown, the smooth satin running against her legs. We would have gotten farther if Sam hadn't walked in the room and the sound of the door made me drop Lana's nightgown and point to my brother before breaking the kiss._

"_You should learn to knock." I told him, kissing Lana swiftly once more before Sam shut the door behind him._

"_Maybe you two should get a separate room. I think you two were in this position when I left this morning." Sam said with a laugh._

_Lana blushed and bit her lip. "Trust me we have been in __many__ since then. Not much thinking with the upstairs brain going on."_

_Sam laughed a little as he shook his head, and I couldn't help but smile at him—he was __**honestly**__ happy that __**I **__was happy. He was always there for me, and he was behind my relationship with Lana no matter what happened. Having support like that was definitely something I had missed…they were my family, and the three of us would get through __**anything **__if we were __**together**__._

_The three of us got into bed, Sam crawling into his and turning off the light, me crawling in and holding Lana to me, my hand on her stomach. There was life in there, and I wasn't sure __**exactly **__how I felt about that yet but…part of me was definitely oddly __**happy**__.____Lana snuggled into me and I ran my fingers through her hair, kissing her head softly and smiling._

"_No matter what happens, I want you to trust in the fact that I would do anything for you. To me, the act of loving you is more wonderful and miraculous than the act of living." Lana whispered to me._

_I chuckled a little. "That was the mushiest thing you have said to me all day, Miss Meckenzie."_

"_Yeah…but I mean it." She whispered softly, placing her hands on mine on her stomach. "My future is __you__. I look in your eyes, and all I see is you."_

"_I love you." I told her, and though the words she had said sunk in and I was glad she'd said them, I was kind of grateful that saying 'I love you' had gotten her to just whisper it back and drift off to sleep…our relationship was getting deep._

Just thinking about it brought tears to my eyes and I had to close them just to keep her image ingrained in my mind. I really missed her…a _lot_.

xxxx

**Annie's POV**

Jen was with us when Kate arrived and I smiled at my cousin. Kate's read hair was pulled back and she was wearing jeans and a white tank blouse, and was more chipper than we were, but she still felt bad. She was a year younger than Lana, putting her right in between us, and she gave Jen and I hugs and then she looked at Sam and smirked.

"Well hello, hello, hello." Kate said, Sam smiling at her as she smiled at him.

I gave her a look—_I_ was the one that was starting to crush on Sam—not her. Please don't make me compete with Kate. No. No. No. Kate always won in competitions like this and until I knew what _my_ feelings for Sam were…wait…I didn't know what my feelings for Sam _were_…especially not since I had seen Penn at the funeral and he had wanted to get together and talk to me…

"Hi, I'm Sam." Sam told her, holding his hand out to her. "It's nice to meet you."

Kate smirked and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you too…where's that brother of yours?"

"He's been upstairs all day." I explained to her. "He's—he's not doing very well without her."

"Well let's bring him down and we can all eat some food." Kate said, really trying to be helpful…and it was working.

"He keeps saying he's not hungry." I told her. "Sam and I have taken him food, but I dunno what's up."

Kate reached out her arm and wrapped it around me, leaning her head on mine and nodding at that. She was used to death and I knew she was going to be able to help us out here, and I was glad to have her here. This was just what I needed—to be surrounded with family that loved me, since Lana was gone.

"He lost the love of his life." Kate said softly. "Let's just drag him down here because as beautiful as the sentiment is, we can't let him waste away up there."

I nodded slowly. "You're right, Kate."

"I know I am." She replied with a smile.

Sam chuckled as Jen and I smiled at her, and then he went upstairs to bring Dean down since he thought it was _his_ place to do so. Though it took a good fifteen minutes, Dean came down the stairs and Sam came down behind him, Dean stopping when he saw Kate. It was obvious the moment that Dean cocked his head and then realization popped onto his face, that the two had not _just_ met before…lovely.

"Hi, Dean." Kate said with a smile.

"I'll eat up in my room if you don't mind." Dean told us and then he nodded at Kate. "Hi, Kate."

Dean turned and went back up the stairs and I raised an eyebrow. "Okay…so what was that all about?"

"When Dean and I first met up we flirted…a _lot_…then he mentioned Lana and it was kind of over." She explained to us. "Which is weird because then, Lana was dating Sam."

Sam blushed and I nodded at that and then let it all sink in—that would have been around the time Lana was telling me about when Sam and Dean weren't calling her. She was with Jen, trying to figure out what the ghosts of Marcus and Bethany had wanted and Dean had met up with Kate. He even prolly could have gotten laid had Kate not found it awkward that he wanted his brother's girlfriend who was _also _her cousin.

"Lana had him from the moment they met." Kate said with a smile on her face. "It's really very cute if you ask me."

Sam smiled and nodded. "It really is nice to know."

Kate smiled at him and I realized in that moment that I actually wasn't as jealous as I thought I was going to be…Kate had a heart. She had morals and she pretty much _never_ had one-night stands and Sam…Sam needed someone like her. Someone stable…someone who had a habit of making everyone around her feel safe and home…it was just that like us, she had a troubled past. Maybe even a _more_ troubled past.

"I'm going to go check on Dean." Sam told us, and then he went up the stairs.

I looked up after him "Let's make Dean some food…it's what Lana would want."

**Note: Okay and there is the sad chapter I've been warning you all about and there will be a chapter that corresponds with it in the "Untold Chapters" soon. I mean there will be sad chapters of this story in the future, but DAMN…this chapter hurts me. So I apologize now for making you guys suffer through this 22 pages. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	44. Reborn

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay so here is another chapter and I think you guys will love/hate it.**

**We start with Kate, and then the POV eventually makes it to the person we all miss and love…**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

Everything seemed so much quieter without Lana around. There were things I hadn't told anyone about when I got here, but it really wasn't like I didn't know about Lana. I knew a lot, like what Annie used to do when we were younger, I spied on her too…the girl was something else.

"You want some tuna, Kate?" Annie asked me.

I looked up and nodded. "Um…sure."

"It's the only thing Dean seems to eat, because Lana never ate it. He won't drink coffee, or milk, or juice, but he'll drink water. He won't eat ice cream, or pasta, or anything substantial, or touch candy. The only thing he'll eat is tuna—which Lana ate, just not around him so he doesn't know. Don't tell him though! Otherwise he won't eat anything, and he'll starve to death." Annie said dismally, handing me a plate with a tuna sandwich on it.

I smiled at her. "We need to do something other than let him sit in that room all day."

"I know, but I'm plum out of ideas." Annie agreed, nodding her head vigorously. "He doesn't even want to see Kaydee and Minah because they remind him of how much Lana loved them and wanted kids of her own, and yeah…something needs to be done."

"How much past do you and Dean have?" Sam asked suddenly.

I looked up as he walked into the room and I shrugged a little because the question had come out of nowhere and I didn't know how to answer it. I mean where was Sam even _going_ with this, and why? Wasn't it more important for us to focus on Dean and how he was wasting away up in Lana's room doing…well nothing?

"Uh…not much." I explained to him. "I mean Annie and I have more past than anyone."

Annie nodded slowly. "She and I went to school together until she got transferred to a private school—we've been hanging out since I left Lana…until she moved."

"I have the feeling you both know things that you aren't telling." Sam said slowly. "I mean you don't have to tell me, but…I dunno…I'm just out of the loop."

"Well, Sammy, you're just going to have to be nice, and maybe we'll reward you." I told him, smiling a little.

Annie turned to look at him. "We—Kate and I are both only half human."

"Yeah, Lana said that you and her were half Demon, but Kate?" Sam asked me.

I took a deep breath and looked Sam in the eye because if he was going to keep me here, he had every right to know. Part of me didn't want to spill any of my life secrets, but oh well…that was just how it was going to have to me, right? I needed his trust, and this was the way to do it…I had no other options.

I shrugged a little. "I'm not half demon I just have a lot of vampire in me—I have a lot of vampire _blood_ in me anyway…it's a _long_, complicated story."

"Then like every Meckenzie before her, Kate's a witch." Annie added in and nodded when Sam looked blown away and yet he looked like he accepted it.

"I have a question, Sammy." I told him.

"Yeah?" Sam asked, not in the least bit annoyed I had called him by the nickname everyone else seemed to call him.

I took a breath. "How much did you love Lana?"

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, obviously caught off guard.

Yeah, the look on his face was _definitely_ making me feel like I had touched on something he had wanted to keep hidden. The boy loved Lana and I knew it—it was all in the way he mourned her…the way he _had_ been mourning her.

I laughed a little. "Sammy, it's obvious from the way you say her name. How much did you love her? How romantically involved were the two of you? These things have to come out eventually."

"Sammy and Lanni were involved that one time when they were dating and that was it—for Lana it has always been Dean." Annie said, looking at me and laughing awkwardly, but Sam looked at the ground and she looked back just in time to see his face. "Wait…what?"

Sam took a deep breath. "Lan and I weren't going to tell anyone, but she told Dean because he deserved to know. We, uh…when Lana came clean about being half demon, Dean walked out and Lan and I…we slept together and that was the end of it—Lan and I were never _in_ love, and we never will be—we just made a mistake."

Annie left the room in a huff and Sam went after her up the stairs because obviously there was a connection there I hadn't caught onto yet. Dean came down the stairs and made a face and I just shrugged as he pointed to them and looked at me. It was nice to see him out of the room and so I wanted to focus on…_not _Sam and Annie _or _Lana for now.

"What the Hell?" Dean asked.

I shrugged and smiled a little. "They're not happy."

"I can see that." Dean nodded slowly. "Is there anymore tuna?"

"Dean…do you want to talk about her?" I asked him.

"I could have sworn Annie said there was more tuna." Dean said, changing the subject.

I nodded and paused before continuing. "It's okay to want to talk about her."

"Look…Kate…I don't. Stop." Dean replied, and I nodded.

"Fine…have _my_ tuna sandwich. I wasn't really hungry when Annie offered I just didn't want to hurt her feelings." I said, smiling at him.

He slowly came over and sat down next to me and I made a face—the guy smelled. I understood that right now the only thing that was important to him was being where Lana had called home, but…it was called bathing. He looked at me as I scooted to the opposite end of the couch and he raised his eyebrows at me.

"You need to shower." I told him.

"I don't smell that…" He began, sniffing his armpit and then making a face, "…okay…maybe I do."

I laughed a little. "It's okay, it's normal."

"There's nothing normal about this!" Dean exclaimed suddenly. "She was killed by a demon and she didn't deserve to die! Nothing that happened to her was ever normal!"

I felt sorry for him. He loved her so much, and she was ripped away from him, and honestly it wasn't fair. There had to be something I could do. Well there was, but it was dangerous…so dangerous in fact, that I wanted a good reason to do it and in order to be backed up, I was going to need some support.

"You know what? I'm going to go and check on Annie." I told Dean.

Dean just nodded, looking sorry for yelling, but not saying anything about it. He wasn't really one for caring and sharing, _or _for apologizing, so I was just going to let it go since he was mourning. I went out back to see Jen talking to Annie, and I overheard part of their conversation.

"The Rune Annie…we can't activate it. I've been trying to figure it out for months, and I realized why it doesn't work—only a demon can activate it." Jen explained to her. "One who knows the craft."

"Oh." Annie said, disappointed and surprised. "Wow. Well what about me? I'm half demon."

Jen shook her head. "It would take two half demons to activate it. We need the rune, Annie. It holds the secrets to the demon population—to your past."

"We can't _trust_ any demons, and we don't know any other half demons." Annie said, thoroughly annoyed.

"Lana's half demon." I told them.

Jen gave me a look. "Kate, Lana is dead."

"For now," I told them, nodding slowly, "I know how to bring her back."

xxxx

**Third Person**

Sam and Dean left after a while to go on a hunt because it was no longer all right for them to be hanging out in Lana's house—Sam wanted Dean out and about. Besides, it had been a while since Lana had passed and the plan had to be executed _without _the boys knowing what was going on. Annie, Kate and Jen planned on what they were going to do, and finally decided. It was risky…it was dangerous…it had ramifications—bad things could happen—but they wanted to do it.

Kate, Annie and Jen put candles around the dug up coffin in a circle, having told no one about this plan. They smiled a little to themselves as they poured the salt around the candles, and then sat on either side of the coffin and began to chant in low tones, tossing their heads back, blood on their faces in symbols on their cheeks—they were dealing with darker magic than normal.

The winds picked up, their final words causing the candles to blow out simultaneously, and then they looked at each other, their eyes glowing in the dark, fading to normal as the salt ring suddenly became a ring of fire, and white mist came down from the sky and swirled around above the picture of Lana on top of the coffin before it flew under the crack, and everything went pitch black once again.

Looking at each other this time, each of them expected something big to happen. Inside the coffin, dying flesh was renewed, organs began to move, and everything ever wrong with Lana, was fixed…she had been reborn. As soon as everything had been replaced and renewed, her eyes shot open and her lungs heaved.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I coughed loudly, gasping for air, tasting only that of stale, depleted oxygen. What was going on here? I was dead…well, I knew I had been at least. I had let go. I had moved on. I had gone to a better place. That was all I remembered…I remembered being happy and warm. I would have screamed when the coffin opened, but as I peered up into the faces of Kate, Annie and Jen, I understood—they had brought me back to life.

"You okay, Lan?" Jen asked me.

I sat up, gasping and breathing in the beautiful, fresh air around me, and I nodded, coughing a little more. I mean honestly I was trying to remember everything that had happened to me…but I couldn't. I knew who the girls were standing around me and I knew I had been dead but…I didn't know much else.

"Holy shit." I said aloud.

"Well at least we know we brought Lanni back." Annie told Jen, and they helped me climb out of the coffin.

Kate held onto me. "Can you stand on your own?"

For being dead a while, I was surprised that I _could_ stand, but at the same time, not surprised at all—weirder things had…actually…weirder things _hadn't_ happened. This was weird—weirder than alien abduction by far. Then again…how long had I _been_ dead? I remember spells…and hunting…but what else? There were gaps in my memory that I didn't understand.

"How long was I dead?" I asked them.

"A good month." Jen explained to me. "You prolly started to decay down there already."

I nodded slowly. "What did this spell entail?"

"Well…we had to kill a lamb." Annie told me, making a face. "It was your everyday, ordinary, borderline-dark-magic, magic."

I looked at them. "So what…I'm like reborn?"

I was trying to make sense of everything, and at the same time remember things as I looked around the cemetery. I understood magic…but not in great detail and it was the same way with the hunting. I knew I had done it and what it was but…there were definitely no specifics here.

"We brought you back for selfish reasons too." Jen told me dismally.

I shook my head. "No, it's okay…I just want to make sure that I'm me."

"Well…we have no idea about that." Kate admitted slowly.

"I mean you're in perfect health. Your body has been remade—meaning it has no scars from miscarriages, or when you've been impaled or hurt yourself when you were little—nothing. You're perfect. However, being borderline-dark-magic, the demon part of you may have come back stronger than before—well it did come back stronger, but we don't know how much stronger. You're—you're going to be different, Lan." Jen explained.

I nodded slowly. "So I've still got a fragmented knowledge of everything that's happened, I still have my powers, I'm still half werewolf and half demon, but…but I'm more…dark? Is that about what you're saying?"

"Yeah…that's about what we're saying." Annie told me.

Okay…so I wasn't _entirely_ me…whoever _me_ was anymore. That was what I needed to figure out, and I needed to figure it out fast. I mean all right so I had powers and I had a dark side kind of and I needed to remember everything…how was I going to do that? I needed to know how I was going to go back to being…well me.

"And that's not all, Lan." Jen told me.

"What more is there?" I asked her slowly, not sure I really wanted to know.

Annie took a deep breath. "I found Mom…and…nobody knows we did this…just Kate, me and Jen."

"You mean you left Mom in the dark?" I asked her.

"We left everyone in the dark." Jen admitted to me. "We knew we could bring you back, but we also knew you'd be different—knew everyone would try to talk us out of it…maybe even go out of their way to try and stop us and we couldn't let them do that. You're—you're Lana, but you're not Lana."

"I'm a darker version of Lana." I said, letting it sink in. "Meaning that I'm more susceptible now to the 'dark side of the force' as Yoda would put it. Or rather, 'the dark side of the force, more susceptible, am I'."

Annie hugged me. "What matters is you're back."

I nodded slowly and took a deep breath as Annie held me tightly to her and I returned the hug—I knew we were close somehow. Some things felt a little more familiar to me as the girls talked to me, and some things were still fuzzy.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah…I'm back. How are we going to deal with—"

"—the authorities?" Annie asked and nodded when I did. "Jen and I already have them writing about how you had to be kept safe from an angry psycho. We even staged a suicide so it was thought the man who killed you repented, with a demon—one we actually killed—and it's all taken care of."

I pulled away from Annie and looked at her, Kate and Jen. "I don't remember much of anything. I know names, and I remember pieces of my past, but…I was gone so long."

"If we'd waited any longer, you wouldn't remember anything." Kate explained with a nod. "If you hear, see, or smell big things that were significant, it'll bring memories back."

"That's a relief." I told her, and then I smiled. "Oh, and Kate—you look good."

Kate smiled at me fondly. "So do you…for a dead girl."

xxxx

When I got to the house, I was astonished—Mom was definitely our Mom. She had dark hair like Annie and I, and she seemed so warm and friendly even though she hadn't been there really—that much I remembered. Why she had left us all those years ago was still unknown, but when I saw her, I had the urge to hug her. Because of my fragmented memory, all I could think of was that I remembered her warmth before she left Annie and I with Bethany and Marcus…and she had always loved us.

"Mom." I breathed as I hugged her.

"There's my girl." She hugged me back strongly, and stroked my hair as I held her, her voice warm and welcoming. "I figured Kate, Annie and Jen would bring you back."

I pulled away slowly and looked her in the eye, smiling at her as my own eyes seemed to peer back at me. I definitely looked like my mother, but at the same time I knew where I got my qualities from the man my father had been possessing…unless he'd been possessing my mother. That part of the whole birthing half demon children I actually didn't understand, and I honestly didn't want to know so I was just going to leave myself in the dark there and get _other_ answers if I wanted them.

"He said his goodbyes." Mom said softly.

I looked down at my white dress as mother held the ring in her hand, and I realized that Dean had put the ring on a chain and buried me with it around my neck. I realized that Dean and I had something more special than I could remember—there were only fragmented flashes, but I'd loved him once. The last flash I had was of us parting companies. So it was over? Where was he? I felt a strong feeling of need surge through me as I held the ring in my hand.

"I said mine too." I replied slowly, Mom steadying me. "I moved on…I didn't haunt this world because I promised that I wouldn't."

Mom nodded and stroked my cheek. "Your part here isn't done, Lanni."

"I figured as much." I told her nodding. "Do you know anything about this selfish reason Kate, Jen and Annie had to bring me back?"

"The rune, Lanni." Mom explained to me, taking a deep breath. "It can only be activated by a demon—or two half demons. Though now that you're back…you're more like 9/16 demon."

"Yeah," I told her slowly, "that messes with the werewolf part just a bit, huh?"

I didn't really know what I was going to do now that I was alive again and I didn't have all of my memories…what was I going to do? Part of me wanted to find everyone I had been with when I died so I could have them help me out but how was that fair to them? Mom had said it…Dean had moved on and that was that…how could I selfishly try to drag him back into my world?

"It means that on the night of the full moon, you're going to have to be restrained." Mom explained to me.

"Yeah." I replied, having been brought out of my own thoughts. "Um…as nice as it is to be back and to have you here…I think I need to sleep."

Mom smiled at me and stroked my hair. "Of course—sweet dreams, Lanni."

I smiled at her and squeezed her hand, then I went upstairs to my room and I lay on my bed, turning on the radio. _**Thinking Over**_ by Dana Glover came on and I suddenly found myself breathing in the scent of leather, musk and soap…Dean. Memories started to flood back and I sat up…I loved Dean, but I had betrayed him with his own brother. There was my answer: there was no way that I could get back involved in Dean's life when I had hurt him so much and he had finally moved on.

xxxx

I woke up the next morning and I walked down in my boxer shorts and my tank top when I was done lying there breathing in the scent that was fading. I'd thought a lot, trying to remember more, but every memory I had made me firmly stick to the belief that this was my second chance…my chance to start over and to be a better person than the one that had hurt such a good man. I fiddled with the ring on the chain around my neck, and I sat on the stool at the counter, looking at Kate as she made breakfast.

"Morning, Lana!" She said cheerfully.

I smiled sadly at her. "Hey…do you think I'm a good person? Did I just lose my way or was I a bitch? What the Hell was I thinking sleeping with Sam? Why is it that I found a great guy and then lost him?"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down, Roadrunner." Kate told me, looking bombarded by my questions. "Okay, now _what_ do you want to know?"

"Do you think I'm a good person?" I asked her after a pause, thinking over my list of questions and picking the one I knew I wanted answered most.

Kate laughed a little. "Of course I think you are, but I'm biased because I'm your cousin. Look, you and Dean had a complicated relationship and you _both _screwed up at times. I mean granted your screw-ups were a little worse, but that doesn't make you a bad person. It's not as hard for you to let people in as it is for Dean, but it's still hard and you had a lot of secrets to keep that weren't just _yours_—they were _family_ secrets as well. You knew sleeping with Sam was wrong and Dean knew you knew that and you guys were on the mend."

"Okay." I told her, nodding and taking all of the information in.

I knew that I believed her, but at the same time I really couldn't help it that I was feeling so bad about all of this. For some reason Dean still loved me after all of it, but then again I was dying…he seemed like the kind of guy who would forget _all _of it, just to let me die without regret. That was what did id for me too…I had moved on, so I had coped with a repented for everything I had done…there was no need to dwell on it—just make sure that I _never _made that mistake in the future.

"I guess the only thing left to do is to get in contact with them." Kate told me as she cooked.

"No!" I cried out abruptly.

Kate raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"I don't want to see them…not just yet." I told her. "They don't know, do they, because it really is my place to tell them don't you think?"

Kate shook her head. "Nah, they don't know."

"Good." I told her, nodding firmly. "I'm going to just grab some cereal and go back up to my room."

I knew that Kate was worried about me, and a little confused by my outburst, but I needed a little more time to remember. If Sam and Dean were ever going to be involved in my life again, it was unfair to them for me to not remember things I should remember. Besides…my comforters would only smell like Dean for so much longer and I wanted to savor that as long as I could.

"You sure you don't want to eat with us?" Kate asked me. "I mean Annie and Aunt Flor will be back soon. They went to grab some more juice."

I shook my head. "That's okay. Tell them I'm sorry, but I need to figure some things out."

"Lana?" Kate asked as I went over to the cabinet.

"Yeah?" I asked turning to her.

She sighed a little. "Look, I know it's not my place, but, are you sure you don't want to tell them now? Sooner rather than later?"

"Until I know what to do now, I don't want them to know." I told her honestly. "At this point, I think I just brought drama into their lives you know? Best they don't have to deal with said drama until I can help them through it…and for that I have to help _myself_ through it."

Kate nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I understand that, I guess. Well, if you want, I've made coffee."

I shook my head. "Nah. That's okay."

"You sure? Coffee like runs through your veins." Kate told me.

"It used to." I told her with a nod.

I grabbed a bowl and poured milk into, pouring some cereal into the bowl and then going upstairs, sitting on my bed and listening to the radio, as I ate. Things had changed and I knew that…but when would they go back to normal? And for me, what _was_ normal?

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

I sighed as I poured myself some coffee and flipped the pancakes. I didn't get why Lana and Dean were so damn stubborn—it was stupid. They _should_ be talking. She _should_ be calling. He should have been talking about her death, and she should have been on the phone with him right then letting her know that she was around and that she wanted to be with him and work this all out. They were stupid people…stupid, _stupid_ people.

"Where's Lanni?" Annie asked, coming in the door with Aunt Florence.

I looked at the stairs. "Her room…with cereal."

Annie sighed. "I think I'm ready to call Dean."

"Lana doesn't want us to call him." I told her quickly, shaking my head.

"Why?" Annie asked me raising her eyebrows.

"Because she doesn't want him to know." I replied like she should have gotten that.

I was kind of still annoyed that Lana and Dean were being so damn stubborn and I sighed and apologized to Annie. Honestly I wasn't trying to take it out on anyone, I just…I hated to see people feeling so down and I really thought Sam and Dean could help Lana to get some of her memories back. Isn't that what she wanted? Didn't she _want_ to remember?

Aunt Florence sighed. "She doesn't want to deal with it, but she has to. She has to talk to him and see him sooner or later, and later isn't better—it's worse. What will he do when he finds out she's been alive for weeks and never contacted him?"

"I mean once it's all said and done, she'll feel better." Annie added in. "Doesn't she get that?"

I shrugged slowly. "I think she just wants to think of the perfect thing to say."

"Guys?" Lana asked, coming down the stairs.

"Yeah, honey?" Aunt Florence asked her.

Lana took a deep breath. "I've decided to go back to school."

"What?" Annie asked her suddenly.

"Yeah," Lana told them nodding, "I should give college a try. I think I'll sign up for classes, and start tomorrow. Not that hard if you're going to community college."

"But what about the boys?" I asked her.

She bit her lip. "I think I need to find myself first."

xxxx

**Annie's POV**

I didn't get why Lana wanted to go back to school—it made no sense. She gave school _up_ to fight demons. Gave _up_ her normal life to save other peoples'. We bring her back from the dead and she wants to go to school. What about Dean? Sam? What about hunting? _That_ was where her heart had truly been all this time hadn't it been?

"This is a setback." I told Kate. "Lana is stupid."

Kate nodded and made a face. "Her and Dean both."

"She just needs time." Mom replied with soft shake of her. You guys _did_ resurrect her."

"Technicality, Mom." I protested. "Lana needs to tell Dean she's alive—simple as that."

"Not that simple, though." Kate said with a sigh.

I turned to her. "What do you mean? I thought you were on _my_ side here about them being stupid."

Kate smiled a little at my choice of words and then she made a face. She was looking for the words to say and it was almost like it was bad and she was trying to sugarcoat it for me. I _hated_ it when people sugarcoated things for me and at the same time…maybe this was _really_ bad.

"Lana's memories aren't coming back the way we wanted them to." She told me finally. "She doesn't remember all of hers and Dean's relationship and she's doubting herself and her ability to make good decisions."

I scoffed and slumped in the chair closest to me. "Well she's proving that she's making really crappy ones!"

"Maybe fate wants it this way." Mom told us. "Maybe this will help Lana look her life over one piece at a time. I want her to make up with the boy she's so madly in love with that loves her, but we have more important things to think about—the full moon is next week."

"And?" Kate asked her.

"You know, Kate, how sometimes you get slight blood lust?" Mom asked her, and she nodded. "Well because Lana's more demon now, on the full moon, due to her werewolf side too, she's going to be really violent…we're going to have to restrain her because she's out of balance. Until she has a little more control over herself…she's going to need to have an eye kept on her."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I woke up from a really weird dream. I had it feeling that it had something to do with old memories, but I wasn't sure. I remembered parts of it…I think I remembered parts of it. It was just weird because it was like High School and hunting all rolled up into one. John was even in it. Getting up, I got dressed and headed off to class in my car. I was only taking two classes, but I really needed to get my mind off of things…it was the only way to move on and clear my head.

"Hi." A blonde girl said, smiling at me.

I smiled back as I locked my car. "Hi."

"I'm Paige." She said, holding out her hand.

"I'm Lana." I told her as I shook her hand. "Nice to meet you."

Paige nodded. "Ditto. So what classes are you taking?"

"Psychology and Mythology." I told her. "I'm just starting out."

Her smile grew. "Me too! I have Mythology today!"

"Me too. Professor…" I pulled out the schedule and looked at it, "…Stearns?"

She nodded too. "Yeah! I can show you to the classroom if you want me to."

I smiled a little more. "That couldn't hurt."

Paige and I went to class and listened to the first day of class, with the rules, and the papers and the introduction to the textbooks—not all that different from High School actually, except that a student came in late—Lance. In High School, Lance and I actually didn't have any classes together…from what I could remember in my scattered memories, we met at lunch and we hung out before and after and on weekends.

He didn't notice me at first, but when he did, his eyes widened and I could understand that: I had been dead. After class, Paige gave me her number, and told me to keep in touch this quarter, and then Lance showed up next to me as my new study buddy left me there. He looked like he wanted to pull silver out on me or something, and I just let him drag me outside under a tree.

"Wow." He said, looking me over with his eyes. "You're alive."

I nodded slowly. "Seems so."

"How? No, wait—Jen and Annie." He replied, answering his own question and nodding knowingly.

"And Kate…you remember her." I told him with a small smile. "Seems she's been with Mom—who by the way, my real one is living at my house."

"Wow." Lance said again. "A lot has changed in a month."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…so forgive me but really all I remember is that we dated in High School and we've been friends for a long time."

"I asked you to marry me at graduation and you said 'no'." He told me. "Figures you wouldn't remember _that _though."

I smiled a little and told him I was sorry but he waved it off—he understood that, and he understood what was happening to me. I didn't feel any sort of connection or anything to him because of that, I just appreciated it. He was simply nodding at this point and taking things in and then he pointed to my stomach and I raised my eyebrows. What in the world?

"So how do you feel knowing you can conceive again?" Lance asked me.

I took a deep breath. "Wait…come again, what?"

"You and Dean were going to have a baby and then you lost it because Chelsea shot you and you then couldn't conceive…you don't remember that, do you?" He asked me as I looked at him hurt and blank.

"Oh my God." I said softly. "I thought Jen was just using that as an example when she brought me back, to let me know how new my body really was."

Lance just nodded and let me go to my car, and I drove to the cemetery—after getting instructions from Lance—and I wandered. I found the headstones that I was looking for and I started to cry because I couldn't believe that it had taken _so _much to remember. Casey had been my baby…mine and Dean's _baby _and I just—I couldn't believe everything that was happening to me.

"I can't believe I forgot." I said aloud, wiping away some tears. "Sweetheart, I promise you that I will _never_ forget you again…you're my baby."

Memories of the pregnancies came back, and though fragmented, I started to cry even more as I stared at the headstone and ran my fingers along my stomach. I got down on my knees, talking to the graves for a bit, before I realized that I needed to know more and I had to get back home. So I got back into the car and drove home, stopping and parking across the street, getting out and hiding behind a tree. In the driveway…was the Impala.

**Note: Oh snap, it's a cliffy and a not so long chapter—only 15 pages. What could possibly happen next? For those of you following me on YT I wanted that video to go up before this chapter, but the video will go up after I wake up and finish it instead. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	45. Second Chance

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay, so this chapter is…I wanna say emotional charged.**

**I wouldn't call it sad, or angry, or angsty, or fluffy…it's kind of everything all wrapped into one, so I hope you like it and POV shifts…**

**Also I always feel like even though it's in my warnings, I have to warn you for smut so…be warned for that.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Florence's POV**

I looked up when I saw Sam and Dean storming into the house and I smiled a little because I had expected this. The three of us had only met briefly, and Dean was at home enough to just come right on in and he was upset.

"All right. What's going on?" He asked angrily.

"What do you mean?" Annie asked, smiling sheepishly.

Sam gave Annie a look. "We just read the Fed Database. Checking up and everything, and there was an article…about Lana."

"Oh," Kate told them nodding, "that."

"What do you mean, 'Oh, that'?" Dean practically screamed.

I could tell that Dean was really at a loss of what to say and what to do, but I wasn't sure what _I_ was supposed to do. My daughter felt like she was betraying them by not remembering what she thought she needed to remember, but I thought they could help her. She was back in this world and in order to get _all_ of her memories back, she was going to need to look to Sam and Dean…they were after all the ones that had been with her these last two years.

"Dean…keep your voice down, please." I told him, taking a breath. "Lana's been through a lot, and if you're going to see her—"

"—I HAVE TO TALK TO HER!" Dean yelled, cutting me off.

Everyone in the room froze when Lana walked in, except for Sam and Dean since she was standing behind them. Seeing their car out front she had probably decided to just come on in and talk to them and I was glad. This was something that wasn't easy for her, but she must have been aware that it wasn't easy for Sam and Dean either…she'd worked her way into their family, and she needed to be with them—be _honest_ with them.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

When I had seen the Impala in the driveway, the first thing I had thought about was just waiting until they left, but I knew in my heart that was the _wrong_ decision. I wanted to be a better person than the one I kind of remembered being and that meant facing Sam and Dean. Besides, they were probably only there because they'd found out I was alive from someone other than me and that in itself was probably hurting Dean and I didn't want to hurt him anymore…I didn't want to hurt him ever again.

"I love you." I told him, standing in the room feeling his emotions all surge out of him.

He turned to me. "HOW _DARE _YOU NOT CALL ME THE SECOND YOU WERE BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE? HOW CAN I EVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS?"

"Yeah," I said nodding, "That's the perfect response to, 'I love you'."

Everyone was silent until Annie started to laugh a little and Dean shot her a look which made her hold her hands up in surrender. She tried to hold the laugh in and I put my hands in my back pockets and Dean ran his hand down his face, looking at me. I knew that I loved him—that much I knew from my scattered memories and the engagement ring but…where were my specifics? How could I just blurt that out to him? I just…I wanted him to know I did…

"I don't remember any specifics and I felt bad about that." I told them since no one was talking yet…just starring at each other. "I mean things have been coming back to me, but I just…I feel like it's not fair to you guys that I don't remember. I just _want to remember_."

Dean nodded and walked over to me, slowly reaching out to cup my face like he was making sure that I was real. He stroked my cheek and smiled sadly, closing his eyes and putting his forehead to mine as everyone else in the room held their ground. I closed my eyes too and focused on Dean, feeling like this touch was familiar and my God did he smell better than the scent he left on my bed!

"I would have done the same thing." Dean told me, taking a deep breath. "I would have let you move on without me and have a better life and move on, but damn-it, Lanni…"

I stepped closer to him and looked up, our eyes meeting. "Just please help me to remember, Dean."

"I feel like my insides are on fire." Dean said with a smile on his face.

"Dean Winchester is feeling too many feelings at once!" I laughed and smiled when he did. "That felt like the right thing to say."

Dean nodded and pulled me closer. "It definitely was."

"So…are you two going to kiss or what?" Kate asked us, nodding and making a face at us. "Because I'm _dying_ over here waiting to see what the Hell is going to happen between the two most _stubborn_ people on the whole planet!"

"You wanna take this upstairs?" Dean asked me softly.

I just nodded and after reaching out to squeeze Sam's hand and tell him I was happy to see him, I took Dean's hand and took him upstairs. We went into my room and shut the door behind us, both of us standing there a moment, unsure of what to do. It wasn't like some movie where the guy swoops in and kisses the girl and the screen fades to black…this was real life…we had things to talk about no matter what feelings we were trying to control.

"You know the best part of sleeping in my bed was that it smelled like you." I told Dean in the silence as he stared at me. "Still trying to figure out if I'm real or not?"

Dean smiled a little. "I'm trying to figure out whether or not I'm dreaming."

"You're not dreaming…my family resurrected me." I said with a shrug. "You gave me the ring…"

"Oh…yeah…it's yours." Dean told me, stepping closer to me. "What is it going to take for you to remember, Lanni?"

Dean reached out and took the ring on the chain around my neck into his hand, playing with it as it hung around my neck and he looked in my eyes. This man was showing me so many emotions just by looking into my eyes with his and I suddenly felt like I couldn't feel my knees anymore. What was I doing just standing here? Kate had said that memories would come back to me if I saw, smelt, heard or felt anything substantial then it would all come back…so I kissed him.

At first I didn't think Dean was going to respond, but he did, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close, deepening the kiss and worming his fingers into my hair. I held him tightly and then resituated my hands, going up to cup his face and pull him closer to me even though he was really about as close as he could get. He pulled back as some memories started to come back to me and I made a noise of protest as Dean smiled a little and stroked my cheek.

"Well good news is…you remember how to kiss." Dean told me.

I grinned at him. "Really?"

"What else do you remember?" Dean asked me.

"I remember that being in your arms is the safest feeling I have ever had." I whispered and then I pulled out of his embrace and he made a face. "Oh my God, we can't do this! I can't do this to you!"

Dean raised his eyebrows at me and I knew I was acting crazy so I took a deep breath and I touched my lips for a moment. I let Dean take a few steps to me and stroke my hair and I looked up into his eyes sadly. What in the world was wrong with me? Why was I pushing this beautiful man away? I had my reasons…but none of them seemed important anymore the more I looked into his amazing hazel eyes.

"Can't do what?" Dean asked me.

"I'm not the same." I told him lamely.

Dean nodded at me. "That was apparent when you never called."

"No, no. I mean this body of mine—it's new." I explained to him. "When Jen, Annie and Kate brought me back, they explained to me that because it was borderline dark magic I'm more demonic than I was before."

"Okay and…?" Dean asked me.

"Dean do you even know what that means? _I _don't even know what that means!" I told him and closed my eyes.

Dean took a deep breath and kissed me, running his hands up and down my arms and then kissing me again. He really just wanted me, and I was thankful for that and so I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. I pulled back though and looked up into his eyes, biting my lip and Dean nodding because he knew I had something else to say to him.

"Stop thinking that kissing me is going to make everything better." I told him.

He smirked at me. "You seem to like it enough, Lanni. When we find out what it means for you to be more demonic, we'll deal with it. Right now, you're sill Lanni…you're still _my_ Lanni. Can you deal with that? Can you just let go and be with me?"

I smiled at him and kissed him in reply, letting him move us over to the bed so we could lie on it. Dean wrapped his arms around me and let me run my hands along him, but nothing went past there. He was just going to hold me close, and I was going to let him.

"With more persuasion, I might be willing to forgive you." He said, a smile on his face.

I kissed him again and looked him in the eye. "I'll remember that."

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I woke up to Lana running around in her pajamas and to be honest it was the most adorable thing I had ever seen. She was looking for something, and I smiled a little, leaning against the headrest on her bed, and she gave me a look when I laughed. She was just too cute and I really wanted her to know that I thought that.

"What?" I asked her.

"I really need to get going." She told me. "I don't want to be late."

I raised my eyebrows. "For what?"

"School." She replied quickly.

I sat up more. "What?"

"I—I went back to school." She explained to me. "I'm taking two classes, and today is my second one."

"Why are you in school?" I asked her.

It didn't make any sense. I was here to fix things…_to be with her_. I was here to put things back to the way they used to be, and she was taking classes? What about hunting? What about finding the demon? For some reason I had just been under the impression that she was back and that meant that things would go back to normal…couldn't they just go back to how they were when it was me, Sam and Lana and things were good?

"I wanted to go back." She told me softly. "Are you mad about it?"

She started to change, stripping down to her underwear and then going over to her closet, trying to figure out what to wear. It was kind of cute that she wore underwear when she slept with other people—she'd told me it was because she was used to sleepovers and hated it when her boobs flopped everywhere when they did things. I had to answer her question…but how?

"No, I'm not." I told her and then I frowned. "Why are you wearing that?"

I didn't like that she was picking really cute clothes to wear. What were there cute professors or boys or something? Why did she feel the need to look cute? She wasn't staying back with me, so what was she doing?

"Um…maybe because it's cute, Dean." She replied, giving me a look and pulling the top on, and grabbing her tight jeans.

"Fine." I told her, lying back down. "You want a ride?"

"No." She said, quickly.

I raised an eyebrow, thoroughly not enjoying that she sounded ashamed of me, and didn't want me to take her to get to her stupid class. I mean I knew she hadn't _meant_ it that way, but at the same time she'd answered so quickly. What was it about this school that made her not want me there?

"Fine." I replied bitterly.

"Baby, it's not because I don't want you there." She told me, crawling onto the bed after pulling on some socks. "Hey…look at me, please? Fine, yu know what, you're cranky, and I'm going to be late. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to grab coffee and get to class."

I was annoyed I'd made her mad, but even more annoyed that I didn't trust the reason she chose one of her cutest outfits. I got up and pulled a shirt on, going downstairs just as Lana left, and Sam looked up at me. He had that look on his face and I sighed because I didn't want to start anything here.

"You almost picked a fight with her after she let you stay in her room." Sam told me.

"That really wasn't smart, Dean." Kate said shaking her head. "It was a big step for her to let you stay."

Annie nodded. "You have to give her space, know she loves you, and let that be enough."

"I just—I can't get this feeling to go away." I said softly. "Like there's something wrong. Something is different."

"Did she mention the werewolf thing?" Annie asked me.

"What werewolf thing?" I asked her.

Seriously, how many more things were there to know about Lana being brought back and why hadn't _she_ told me about it? Granted she'd explained the demonic thing, so there was no telling what that would mean with the rest of Lana's heritage. I was busy telling her about how we'd gone to Hollywood and I hadn't gotten lucky like I was going to because towards the end we'd found out she was alive and just finished up the hunt to come back to her.

"Because she's more demon now, the full moon is a dangerous time for her. She's getting used to the new her, Dean. You have to let her get used to herself before you can expect her to let you all the way in." Kate explained to me with a soft shrug.

I just nodded and then left the house and got into the Impala, driving to the closest college. When I parked and got out, I looked around, and then I noticed that there was yellow caution tape. When I got closer, I saw that there was a chalk outline drawn, and lots of blood. Lana was standing with a blonde girl, who was crying, and I ducked away just as she started looking my way. It was probably stupid to try and hide, but she didn't seem to want me in her school life…didn't even want me to drive her here.

"I think that it's only fair to say that today, all classes are cancelled." A man said.

It hurt me honestly that she hadn't wanted me to come to school with her, but as I thought more about it, maybe she had a reason. I mean I hadn't sounded happy about her going back to school and she had known I was lying to her about not caring so maybe she didn't want to hurt me by making me bring her here. I was about to hide behind a tree and call Sam to maybe check this death out when I heard a familiar voice.

"Well, Mr. Lurk, why don't you just put that phone away, and let someone else handle this?" Lana asked me.

I turned to see her and the blonde standing there. "What?"

"Stop." She told me. "I didn't want you snooping around here."

"Why? Because I'm not good enough to be seen on the grounds of a college?" I asked angrily.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "I never said that."

"Well you've been implying it." I told her.

"Because I didn't let you drive me to school?" She asked me. "You didn't sound like you were glad that I was going to school so I didn't want you to have to come."

"You said yourself that you were going to be late." I argued. "I was offering to help."

"This the boyfriend?" The blonde asked.

Lana nodded at her. "Yeah, um…Paige, this is Dean. Dean, Paige."

We shook hands, but I couldn't help but be annoyed that she introduced me to Paige first. Why did I feel like I came second? Hunting, my passion, came second to school, her new passion. I, her boyfriend, came second to Paige, her new friend. In fact, Sam read she was alive before me…she had to have planned that too, somehow.

"Stop looking at her like that, Dean. You know what I'll see you at home, all right? Just go and don't look into this." She told me, and walked off with Paige.

"Fine!" I called after her, and kicked the tree, wincing a little, and hobbling off to get into the car.

xxxx

Back at the house, I was researching on Lana's laptop without permission, and she came storming into the room. It had only been a few hours since I'd seen her at the school, and she shut the laptop and set it on her desk on the other side of the room. Honestly I didn't understand why she was so angry because if this was a hunt, then this was what I needed to do and she _knew_ that.

"I thought I told you to stay out of it!" She yelled.

I rolled my eyes. "Lana, this looks like our kind of gig."

"And I want some other hunter to deal with it without us getting involved! I already had Kate call Lance! They're handling it!" She cried, and she looked like she was going to cry. "Why don't you ever do what I tell you to do?"

"Maybe, Lana, I don't feel like I'm obligated to because you don't seem to care about what I want anymore! You've only been thinking about yourself since you were brought back!" I told her in a loud, angry voice.

She looked at me, a little hurt, and then she let me have it. "Well excuse me for being brought back! Do you think I asked for this? I let go! I moved on! I said my goodbyes, I embraced the end, and then I wake up, in a coffin, with stale air, and my best friend, my favorite cousin, and my only sister greet me! They brought me back to activate the rune because it holds all of the answers and they can't do it without me! They tell me that I have more demon in me, and you want me to what? Jump up and down for joy that I'm alive and call you? Maybe celebrate it with some sex and a beer or something? Forgive me for trying to put my life back together because I woke up with very little memory of anything that happened! I'm sorry that you feel left behind, pushed aside, or neglected, but I still don't know who I am yet! Then a demon problem shows up! You think I want to deal with _demons_ right now? Do you think that while I'm trying to figure out who I am, I want to deal with demons, when I don't even know what being more than half demon means? Do you know how hard this is for me? No, wait. Never mind. Why would you care? I'm just being selfish."

I didn't know how to react to what she'd just said, and she nodded in the pause and wiped a tear away before leaving the room, slamming the door shut behind her. It was the slamming of the door that made me realize that I wanted to go after her. I wanted to tell her that I was sorry, and I hadn't realized how much she was really holding in here. Of _course_ she didn't want to deal with demons. She was trying to adjust to being in the world again, and I was being an idiot. All I was doing was pushing her away, and for all I knew, when she got back, she was going to ask me to leave.

"Dean?" Kate asked me.

I looked up. "Yeah?"

"Um…Lana's eyes just flashed and then she passed out." Kate said quickly and I hurried past Kate, down the stairs and into the living room, not seeing anything.

"Where is she?" I asked hurriedly, worried.

Kate came down. "You didn't let me finish! Then she got up and said that she felt fine, and she needed to take a walk. We have no idea what this means."

"Where are Annie, Florence, Sam and Lance?" I asked.

"Lance is on his way here, and Annie and Sam are with Aunt Flor at a movie." Kate explained to me. "I just—I heard you guys yelling…she'll come back."

"I know going after her is probably the worst thing…but where is she?" I asked her.

Kate smiled at me. "She's in the park, probably on the swing set."

That answer was pretty much obvious and so I nodded, and went to the park, looking at the swing set, and looking at her swing slowly. When I got closer, I heard her crying and I sat on the swing next to her. I couldn't believe that I had set her off like this…it wasn't fair and I knew it.

"I'm sorry, Lanni." I told her.

She stopped the swing and looked at me. "Why'd you follow me?"

The question wasn't mean or angry—she just genuinely wanted to know. She hadn't thought I would follow, but I'd follow her anywhere and I really wished that these things were easier. She'd left us and she'd died and she had left all of her baggage behind and now she new baggage and she needed me on her side to help her deal with it…and I needed her too.

"Because I needed to tell you how sorry I was." I told her honestly.

She nodded. "Well, go and wait at home for me, and let me cool down, all right?"

It was soft and gentle, and I nodded at her because I honestly didn't want her to realize that she wanted this life without me in it. I walked back to the house and I lay down on her bed, trying hard not to be really sad about this because I hated acting like such a girl. I was afraid with this space she'd realize she didn't need me anymore. I mean I was part of the old Lana's life. The new Lana could live without me…she could go to school and make new friends and be happy and not fight demons.

"What do you want?" Lana asked me.

I looked up because she had caught me off guard—I hadn't realized she had come back yet but here she was right in front of me. I had had a good hour to think things over, and now she asks me what I want? That question had a _very_ easy answer.

"I want you." I replied and she nodded, standing by the door.

"I'm sorry I yelled." She said as I stood up and stepped closer to her. "I didn't know how else to get everything out. I've been selfish, you're right."

"Lana…you have every right to be selfish." I told her. "You were right—you didn't ask for this life, but you have it and in having it, you should do what you want to do with it. You should be with the people you want to be with. I shouldn't be forcing myself on you. I should let you find yourself. Give me another chance when _you're_ ready to give me another chance."

She nodded, and then stopped me as I tried to get past her to the door. "You never asked what _I_ wanted."

"What do you want?" I asked, humoring her.

"You," She whispered softly, "and all your beautiful, flawless imperfection. I want your temper, and your passion, and your patience. I want every fiber in your being—every piece of your soul."

"Woman…" I said softly, and knew that I was starting to go soft.

"Take off your shirt." She told me suddenly.

I looked at her. "Wait…what?"

"Take off your shirt." She repeated.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Dean didn't know what I was doing…Hell, _I_ didn't even know what I was doing. All I knew was that at this moment, I wanted to be one with him. I wanted to let go of everything bad and negative that had ever happened between us, and I wanted to feel that connection I once had with him. Someday this would be easier, and I would really _love_ to have everything for us start again right here.

"Do you remember when we first had sex?" I asked him as he took off his shirt.

"Yes." He said with a nod. "I remember it better than you do…sorry."

I shook my head. "Nah, that's all right. I remember even less now, I'm sure. Look, I love you. I love everything about you. Your pigishness. Your vulgarness. Your softness. Your voice. The sound of your heart beating. I just…I love you, Dean. This happens to be a special room…I know that much."

"Except for a few rearranged things, yes, it's exactly the way it was the first time we did anything physical." He told me, stroking my hair.

I nodded at that and kissed him, happy to have his lips on mine and want this as bad as I did. I mean honestly I'd been alive for like three days, but this was me and Dean…this was how we had started once before, and this was how we were going to start again. The thing was that for some reason even knowing that, I was feeling nervous…_really_ nervous.

"Okay, so…" whispered, kissing him softly and running my fingers along his bare chest after locking the door. "Make love to me, Dean Winchester. Did that sound cliché and weird?"

Dean chuckled and kissed me, and I smiled a little into it as I took off my shirt, breaking the kiss only to get the shirt off. He had no problems unclasping the bra or dropping his pants and mine, but when he laid me down on the bed and looked at me with all that love and care in his eyes, I got nervous again. What was with that? I'd had sex before. I mean yeah this was _physically_ new because I was like a virgin again but uh…it wasn't like I didn't know what to do.

"Okay, I know that I have memories of this, but…I don't think I'm totally ready for this." I told him. "This is going to hurt."

Dean stroked my cheek and smiled. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"Please." I told him giving him a look. "I asked for it, I can't back out."

"Yes you can." He replied softly. "I don't want you to do anything you're not ready for."

I smiled at him and kissed him again because honestly _why_ was I nervous? Dean loved me and I loved him, and honestly, I trusted him more than he'd ever be able to know and that was the end of it. He ran his fingers through my hair as he kissed me softly, the fingers of his other hand moving in circles along my bare skin, leaving a trail of disappearing goose bumps on their wake.

"Hey…I love you." Dean told me suddenly, our eyes meeting as he slipped his hand between my legs. "I haven't said it yet and I needed to."

My eyes lulled a little. "Oh, okay…fingers…"

"You mean you're not gonna say it back?" Dean asked me and I opened my eyes to catch the look on his face as his fingers dipped and stroked. "I mean I just told you that I _loved_ you…"

"Wait, wait," I told him and closed my eyes and moaned softly when he didn't because he was Dean, "we haven't discussed…I can…Dean…conceive…are you listening?"

Dean kissed me and whispered against my lips, "I kind of got that, and I'm okay with it."

I opened my mouth to protest, but Dean covered my mouth with his and I tried to focus but I couldn't. Was he saying he knew and that meant he was taking the risk? Every time I tried to think I just felt those fingers and soon I was making a small cry as my release hit and Dean showered my face in kisses softly.

"That's my girl." Dean whispered, kissing me softly.

I smiled and kissed him back. "I love you."

"Oh so _now_ you can focus?" Dean asked me.

"Oh very funny." I replied, running my hand down his torso to touch him. "Now…can you manage to say it again while I'm doing things to _you_?"

Dean closed his eyes and moved against my hand a little and I just did what he wanted until we were ready. We made eye contact and he kissed me, running his lips down to my ear, biting down and pushing inside of me at the same time. I gave a slight cry and dug my nails into his back and his shoulder and Dean pulled back a little and looked me in the eye, stroking my cheek.

"You okay?" He whispered to me.

I smiled and stroked his hair. "I'm fine…really."

I kissed him, and as he deepened the kiss, several thoughts ran through my mind. His skin felt like velvet as it brushed against mine, and the warmth between us grew. He was so gentle and soft…so loving and kind. He didn't treat me like I was glass, and yet he treated me like I would break, and I was okay with that right then actually.

We turned over, and the slow, loving nature started to change as our bodies moved together, me on top. I remembered how much I liked this position and though it was still loving, and still kind, things seemed to move faster now. It was like no one else existed honestly. It was like time was ours, and we were manipulating it to our advantage—we were the only two people that mattered anymore, and it just…it felt _right_. Afterwards, Dean held me tightly in his arms, both of us on our sides, and I smiled at him.

"We've still got it." I told him.

He nodded and kissed me gently. "Absolutely."

"You sure you wanted to do that all unprotected?" I asked him softly. "I mean this body has been in commission like what? A couple days?"

"That was _exactly _how I wanted this all to go." Dean replied to me and I nodded and kissed his chest softly, making him chuckle softly. "I'm not a machine."

I giggled and kissed him more, him chuckling some more as I moved my hair out of my face and ran my lips along his pecks. He stroked my hair and then I looked him in the eye and kissed him a little more.

"Sure you are." I smirked at him, glad he was stroking my hair.

He chuckled again. "Give me five minutes to recover."

"Five?" I asked the kissing starting to slowly go lower.

"Lanni…" He said, his breath catching in his throat and I looked up at him and nibbled his bottom lip.

"Five minutes and counting." I whispered, and I kissed him again.

**Note: Yeah I was gonna end this differently, but I'm gonna take the original end and put it at the beginning of the next chapter instead. Hope you liked the bit of fluff! This was another short chapter: just 13 pages, and the next one is too and then it goes back into episodic ones for just a little while and then we get Season Three! So expect some SERIOUS angst soon! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	46. Findings and Proposals

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay, you get to know who Lana's **_**biological**_** father is this chapter!**

**Whoo!**

**You also get to see a new relationship start in Sam's POV.**

**Also, here's another smut warning even though it's not heavy smut or anything, just some pretty hot and heavy parts that aren't overly descriptive.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I woke up the next morning to my cell phone, and I was kind of annoyed, but at the same time I had to answer it. I wanted to just snuggle into Dean and stay there the whole day, but I _did _have things to look into today and if I didn't answer my phone now, it would wake my adorable Dean up…so I answered it.

I flipped my phone open. "Hello?"

"Hey, Lana, it's Paige." Paige told me.

I smiled at her voice. "Hey Paige, what's up?"

"The cops hit a dead end and Dean Jackson thought we should have class today…so Psychology is still going as planned." Paige explained to me.

"Okay, I'll meet you in front of the school, Paige." I told her.

"Can we meet early?" Paige asked me. "I mean, I know we haven't known each other that long, but I have something I want to tell you."

I smiled a little more. "All right, Paige, and don't worry about it—we're fast friends."

"Thanks. See you soon, Lana." Paige said.

I nodded. "All right. I'll see you in about twenty minutes."

I hung up, and then I smiled, running my fingers through my hair and getting up after kissing Dean's lips softly and quickly. I showered and then wrapped a towel around myself when I got out, walking into my room and laughing when Dean gave me a look. He was _far_ too adorable for his own good and I think he _knew_ that.

"Yeah, so I forgive you and you wake up and shower without me?" He asked me.

I smirked at that. "Well, after forgiving me so many times, I figured a little time apart would make the heart grow fonder."

"How many times did I forgive you last night?" Dean asked me.

"Um…four." I told him as I opened up my closet—this playfulness, I could _totally_ get used to.

"So who owes me?" He asked me.

I turned to him. "I'm thinking the hot pants and the sexy red top."

Dean gave me a look. "What?"

It was almost like Dean was suddenly jealous and he really had _no_ reason to be—I was _never_ leaving this man again. He was mine, and I was his, and there was absolutely _no_ way that I was letting _anything_ change that. Besides, I still wore the engagement ring around my neck on a chain, so he had to know I was in love with him by this point.

"There's this really hot guy name Ryan, and I was hoping that today would be the day he noticed me." I told him and laughed as his face changed.

"Excuse me?" Dean asked me.

I smiled at him and put my hands on my hips. "Dean, how many times did I show you how much I loved you last night?"

"Four." He said with a smirk.

"Exactly." I told him. "I would _love_ to show you more, but I have to get to class—the school's open today."

The minute the words came out of my mouth, Dean made a face and I knew I should tell him that I was thinking of quitting school again. I mean I didn't think I was _ready _for demon hunting again but who really was? Hunting demons was what Dean wanted to do, and I was going anywhere that he was going. Still, as I started to get dressed Dean sighed and lay back on the bed.

"Right…school." Dean said and he was upset as I pulled my shirt on and then my pants and looked at him.

"Get dressed and drive me to school." I told him happily. "I'll be downstairs getting that wonderful smelling coffee."

He smiled a little because I wanted him to be part of my entire day, and so I went down the stairs and got some hot coffee. When I heard Dean on the stairs I looked up and smiled at him in his t-shirt and jeans and drank some coffee. He smirked at me and shook his head and I gave him a look. What now?

"What?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "Even given another chance in life, you haven't learned to eat before you consume coffee."

"That's what you're worrying about?" I asked him with a laugh. "Trust me—even with my coffee consumption I'm sure my body will do things just fine."

"Where is everyone?" He asked me after glancing at my stomach.

I smiled because I was glad that he was so very on board with having a baby now that I could but was I ready for that? I mean I was demonic so…that meant that our baby would have demon blood in him or her too…were we _ready_ for that? Well I mean…as ready as you ever _could_ be for parenthood and hunting of course.

I handed Dean the note that had been left, and he looked it over as I went over to the muffins in the basket on the counter. My mother didn't like to bake but Kate apparently did and I was thankful to have some _real_ food around since I'd miss it when it was gone. The note that had been left read:

_**Lana and Dean,**_

_**I'm off to pick up Lance so we can solve this**_

_**Demon problem and Aunt Flor left to do**_

_**Some grocery shopping. Annie is visiting**_

_**Penn with Sam, as weird as that sounds.**_

_**We'll be back soon.**_

_**Hope you guys are patched up cause it**_

_**Certainly sounded like you are!**_

_**Kate**_

Smirking a bit at how we had _totally_ reconciled, I bit into the muffin. "I feel playful right now for some reason."

Dean chuckled at that and looked up, beaming when I winked at him and watched me chew my bite of muffin. He put the note down, and came over to me, resting his hands on my waist and biting into the other side of the muffin as I took another bite, and I giggled a little. I really hoped that Dean and I could stay this way because I was in love with how we were right now.

"It seems that you feel playful too." I told him, loving that he kissed me to shut me up. "But I can't right now."

"Sure you can." Dean replied in a whisper. "Blow off school."

I nodded at him, turning it into a game. "Or what?"

"Or…I'll eat the rest of your muffin." He said.

I smiled at him. "You are so gosh dern cute, but I can't blow off school. One, it would be irresponsible, and two, Paige needs me."

"Right…Paige." Dean told me, and let go of me.

I knew I looked surprised and I shouldn't have been opening my mouth like that _and_ smiling at the same time but I couldn't help it. He was _jealous_ of _Paige_, and he really shouldn't be but I understood _why_ he was at the same time.

"Oh my God, you cannot seriously be jealous of Paige." I said, eating the rest of the muffin.

"Why shouldn't I be? You spend more time with her than you do with me." He told me.

I smiled at him. "Maybe lately, but I love you more. I proved that several times last night. I think I love you more than anyone."

"You're only saying that to make me feel better." Dean replied with a sigh.

"When did you get all EMO? Don't make Sam and I call Ellen and ask for help with you." I joked, and sat on his lap as he sat on the couch.

Dean chuckled as I grinned, and pinned me to the couch in one fast motion, making me laugh. He kissed me and I kissed him back, running my fingers through his hair and smiling when his lips slid down to my neck.

"All this me being alive stuff, has you super happy." I told him softly.

Dean gave me a look. "Well I do in fact love you, you silly girl."

I smiled and kissed him gently. "I love you too, you silly boy…enough to get up and go and see Paige."

Dean sighed and nodded, getting off of me, and I went into the bathroom, turning on the water and grabbing a glass. I filled it up and then took a bottle of pills out of the closet while Dean leaned on the doorframe and looked at me.

"What are those?" He asked me.

I shrugged. "Ibuprofen—I'm a little sore."

He chuckled at that and I smiled at him, popping the Ibuprofen down and then setting the glass down when Dean came over to me. I kissed him softly, nibbling on his bottom lip a little, and it took a _lot_ of willpower not to ask him to go back up to bed and even just hold me for a while. Sleeping together had brought back more memories for me and I just…I wanted to be with my man.

"I hate it when you make me surrender all possible manhood I have, Lanni. Now you have to stay home." Dean told me.

I smiled and nodded. "God, I want to but I'll see you later, okay? Drive me?"

Dean shook his head but smiled. "You can keep me away for a little while longer. Just mention to Ryan that your boyfriend is going to kill him…fiancé if you'd put that ring on your finger where it belongs."

"I love you." I told him, reaching to unclasp the necklace but letting him do it and then slide the ring onto my finger. "I can't marry you though, unless you _ask_ me."

"In a better setting—someplace without a shower but, uh…wear it? For safe keeping?" Dean asked me.

I smiled and kissed him. "God I love you all trying to be romantic."

He rolled his eyes and kissed me again, and then I grabbed my jacket, put on some shoes, and left the house. I hurried to the school and smiled at Paige who immediately began to explain to me that she wasn't who she said she was. She wanted me to be her actual friend and that meant knowing that she was a hunter—well I was too. Unfortunately, in the middle of telling her I didn't mind, I felt my eyes flash and everything went black.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

When Lana left, I went out and sat on the couch, turning on the TV and taking a deep breath—I should have driven her to school. I didn't like being on my own and she had offered this time, but I had wanted her to get to do her own thing. Still, what about hunting? I didn't understand what was going to happen when we started hunting again…would she be coming with us?

"Anybody home?" Kate called from the front door.

I looked over as she came into the living room. "Hey, Kate."

"Well there's the man of the hour—you and Lana shouldn't go at it like rabbits in her room because…we can hear you." Kate told me.

"That means you and Lan-Bon are all made up then?" Lance asked me, coming into the room.

Kate sighed loudly. "Okay, you _can't _call her by the nickname in front of her boyfriend."

"Fiancé." I corrected her, marking my territory.

I knew I hadn't asked Lana like she wanted yet, but at the same time she'd asked me first hadn't she? Mostly I just felt like it was best that Lance knew that Lana was mine and that I didn't want him anywhere near her. At the same time for some reason I trusted her…maybe it was because she'd didn't have all of her memories…maybe it was the need to be with her after having to be without her for a month…I wasn't sure.

"Congratulations." Lance told me and I actually thought he meant it. "So do we tell him now or later, Kate?"

Kate took a deep breath. "Now."

"You don't want to wait until the big, attractive—" Lance coughed when Kate smacked him in the stomach. "—I say we wait for Sam."

"I can fill Sammy in later…what's going on?" I asked them, ignoring whatever Kate and Lance had been talking about before. "What does this have to do with?"

Lance looked at me. "The demon problem."

"I figured as much, but Lanni told me to stay out of it—that's why _you two_ are covering it." I explained to them.

"That was before Lance thought Lana _was_ the demon problem." Kate said softly.

I wasn't exactly sure how to take that information in because…what the _Hell_ did that even _mean_? Lana _was_ the demon problem? She couldn't be…she was Lana…_my_ Lana…there was absolutely _no_ way that she was the demon problem when she'd been with me the majority of the time.

"How does that even work?" I asked her.

"Okay…I need to own up here." Kate said slowly.

I nodded quickly. "Yeah, you sure as Hell do."

"Hi!" Sam said brightly, coming into the house. "Whoa! Who died?"

"Kate and Lance seem to be under the impression that Lanni is the demon in this new demon problem." I told him.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "What? That can't be right."

He was only preaching to the choir here and Kate rubbed her temples as Lance took a deep breath and motioned to Sam and me. It was like he thought that Sam and I weren't in the know, but we were…weren't we? Lana and I had talked and we were going to be honest with each other…that was just how it was supposed to be.

Dean nodded slowly. "Kate was about to own up to something."

"Own up to what?" Sam asked her.

Kate took a breath. "I think you all need to just sit down."

"I'm good." I told her, but Sam sat on the couch as I stood there looking at her and Lance.

"Now this is new to me too but uh…when Lana's eyes flashed…they flashed yellow. When I told Aunt Flor, she said that would be normal now that the demon half is in more control—Lana's exhibiting demonlike behavior—like her father." Kate explained to me.

"And?" I asked testily.

Lance gave me a look. "What yellow-eyed demons do you know of? There's only one."

I sat down on the couch slowly as Sam's eyes widened and I took a deep breath and tried to think about this rationally. So Lana's eyes flashed and now I had to let it all sink in that the demon that killed my mother and my father, was my fiancee's father…wow. How in the world was I going to get through this? I mean Lana _wasn't_ her father by _any_ means but…_the_ demon?

"Are you honestly trying to tell me that _the_ demon is Lanni's father?" I asked Kate.

Kate nodded slowly. "Yeah, that's exactly what we're saying."

"So I guess it's time to figure out how to kill her." Lance said suddenly and Kate hit him again which made him give her a look.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Not so fast. You keep your hands off of my cousin, and I'll keep myself from skinning your hot little behind." A female voice said from the door.

Kate smiled a little. "Everyone…this is my sister, Kalli."

Kalli smiled and waltzed right into the house which made me nod a little—just more of Lana's family coming out of the woodwork. I understood it since Lana had died, but at the same time I was kind of wondering. How many more of these people related to her were going to come around? It was making me think even more that Lana was going to want to stay here and _not_ go with me…and I didn't think I could handle that if I had to be without her _again_.

"Sorry. I just…I don't want you to kill her. She was already murdered once, let's not get redundant." Kalli explained with a laugh.

I smiled a little. "I agree with Kalli. Let's not just go accusing Lanni of doing things we're not sure she's done."

"We have some pretty solid proof." Lance said and Kate nodded.

"As much as I hate to admit that Lance is right…he is." Kate replied, and pulled out Lana's ID card, showing it to me. "I picked it up and cleaned it off before the cops found it earlier."

"Cleaned it up?" Kalli asked her.

Kate nodded slowly. "There was blood on it."

"Lanni goes to school now. She could have dropped it when she was helping Paige get over the death. You didn't see her do it, therefore she didn't—" I was saying, but Lana came in the door, terrified, and she looked at me, blood on her hands.

"Something's wrong." She told me. "I think I'm…Dean?"

She passed out on the floor and Kalli was the first one to her, waving a fan over her and then I got there. Where she pulled the fan out I didn't know, but something was _definitely_ wrong. Was this a side effect of the ritual to bring her back? Was this the demonic thing? How every time something was really good between us, something _terrible_ happened? Couldn't we catch a damn break?

"What's going on?" Sam asked aloud, pushing her hair out of her face as I cradled her head on my lap.

"She's going through a semi transformation. It's the night before the full moon, meaning this isn't the worst of it, but she shouldn't have turned yet. Something's off balance with her." Florence said, coming into the house. "Kate, Kalli: please go and get my things out of the forest. Annie, get your sister a cold washcloth for her head. Dean, pick Lana up and follow me. Sam, listen carefully to everything I'm about to say, got it?"

Everyone nodded and I picked Lana up, everyone bustling around as Sam and I followed Florence down into the basement. There was a large cage down there with shackles and everything, and I realized just how thick the door was. If anything big was going to go down, it was best that it happened down here and I just…I wanted Lana to be all right. I hated this…I hated seeing her like this when she had enough to deal with.

"This is where transformations can occur peacefully, without harming anyone." Florence explained to us as Sam and I looked around. "Something has triggered an early transformation, and until we figure out what it is, we have to keep her here. It isn't safe for anyone if we let her roam about."

"What does this mean?" Sam asked her.

Florence sighed loudly. "Judging by the blood on her hands…she's killed today."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

When I woke up, I groaned and then immediately looked at my hands—they were blood-free now but I didn't know what the Hell was going on. I looked around, Dean sitting in a chair outside the cage, and I sighed a little…I knew what I had done. Somehow I had killed someone today, and what if I had been doing all of the killings? It's just…why didn't I _remember_ doing it?

"So…what's going on?" I asked him.

Dean took a deep breath. "I hate asking you this but…do you know who your _real_ father is, Lanni?"

"No…but I have an idea." I told him honestly, hating the look I was now receiving. "See, the way you're looking at me, and the tone in your voice, suggests that Annie's eyes flashing yellow means that _the_ demon is my father."

"So Annie's eyes have done that too?" Dean asked me slowly.

I nodded and stood up. "Yeah…when she killed Chelsea and I told you I was kind of afraid of her. So…Mom confirmed it, I take it?"

"Yeah…yeah she did." Dean said, coming over to me. "Your mother also said that she thinks that he can control you…that by being more demonic you have some sort of switch."

"Is killing me an option?" I asked him and cowered a little when he shot me a look. "Okay, never mind I take that back."

Dean nodded at that and then he unlocked the cage and I shook my head because I was in here for a reason. I had _killed_ someone and I needed to know _why_ I'd done it and figure out how to _stop_ it. Dean gave me a look when I took a step back, and then came over to me and rested his hands on my hips. He opened his mouth to say something but I beat him to it because there were things that I now had to say.

"You don't have to have children with me." I told him, avoiding eye contact. "I mean what if having children with me is like the _worst_ possible decision that you could make?"

Dean shook his head. "It's not."

"No?" I asked him.

"No." He replied putting his fingers under my chin and making me look at him. "I want to marry you still, and I want you to have my children, Lanni. You are _not_ your father and I'd be lying if I said our kids would be anything but damn attractive. Come on…if _we_ raised them, then there would be _no_ way they could be evil."

I nodded slowly, smiling, and then looked down at myself. "I need to shower."

"Okay. Oh—Kalli told me to say, 'BAM'." Dean said as I headed up the stairs.

"Kalli's here?" I asked excitedly.

Dean nodded. "Yep."

Dean was upset. Everything was hitting him all at once. Of course everything was hitting me all at once too, but it was different for him. He was in love with a woman who had died and been brought back. A woman whose father was the demon he was trying to destroy—a woman who had some sort of trigger or whatever that could put him in danger. So _why_ did he still want to procreate with me again?

"Lanni!" Kalli cried as we got upstairs.

"Kalli!" I replied, embracing her, the both of us jumping up and down and squealing a little.

"Well you don't seem so evil right now." Lance told me.

I nodded and shrugged. "I guess, but…you guys think I could talk to my mother…alone?"

Everyone nodded, and Dean went up to my room while Sam went up to his and I smiled after him. Sam and I actually hadn't gotten to talk properly and I hated that—he was my friend and my protector, and I was _so_ glad to see him. I bit my lip at the thought as Kalli, Kate and Annie headed out with Lance, and then I looked at my mother.

"Dean's freaked, isn't he?" Mom asked me.

I shrugged and shook my head. "If he is, he isn't letting on that he is. I mean he's uneasy, but he's telling me he wants me to bear his children and that he wants to marry me. What is this trigger, Mom?"

She motioned for me to come and sit with her, so I sat on the couch with her, and I snuggled into her. I wanted to be her little girl again. I wanted to not know anything about any of this. I wanted things to all just leave me alone. I wanted to be normal. Screw the rune…I would even love to be dead again just to not have to deal with any of this.

"Why did they bring me back, Mommy?" I asked her.

Mom laughed a little and held me. "This is going to be one of those, 'stop feeling sorry for yourself' speeches so get ready for it. I know you feel awkward. I know that you're feeling rather disconnected, but right upstairs is a man that is in love with you for better of for worse. You have family and friends that are willing to stick by you no matter what. You're going to be all right. You're going to get through this…you just need to be careful around the full moon, Lanni."

I smiled and snuggled into her more. "I love you, Mommy."

"I love you too, Lanni. Now go upstairs and talk to him. He needs some reassurance right about now." Mom said, and I nodded, kissing her cheek and going upstairs.

I opened the door to my room slowly, and put my hands in my pockets after I closed the door behind me, standing there. Dean looked at me as he lounged on the bed, and neither of us said a word. I didn't know what to say, and neither did he, but I had to say _something_…I had to break the ice.

"I think I'm still me." I said lamely.

Dean gave me a look, and then smiled. "Come here."

I crawled onto the bed with him, climbing on top of him and resting against him, looking him in the eye. He stroked my hair and gazed at me, both of us trying to think of what to say but there was still so much to process right now. My father was the demon that we had been hunting for the last two years—Hell, John, Sam and Dean had been hunting it since Mary was murdered!

"Baby, I'm sorry about all of this." I told him. "I think we need to slow down just a little bit on this kids thing because I am _incredibly _messed up and I don't want our children to be messed up—I still want to sleep with you though."

He smirked and stroked my cheek with his thumb. "Of course you do."

I smiled a little and stroked his cheek with my fingers. "I'm sorry you have to deal with all of this—especially this me being the daughter of your enemy thing."

"You're not your father." Dean repeated and kissed me softly.

I nodded slowly. "Strangely, I want to kill him even more now."

Dean cocked his head a little to one side and nodded slowly because he knew what I was talking about. I had switched subjects from us potentially having children together, to my father. Everything had changed and yet nothing had, and that was the weirdest part about all of it honestly. I mean I _still_ wanted to kill him…and I _still_ needed to activate this rune but now I was afraid to use my powers even more.

"He abandoned you, destroyed everything you loved, and sent a lackey to kill you—I understand." He told me.

I nodded at that. "He also killed your father, destroyed everything you loved, and I just—I want him dead. I—I have his genes, Dean."

"You're still my Lanni." Dean told me with a smile. "How many times do I have to say it? I love you, and that's never going to change…though when we're finally feeling more pieced together I probably won't say it as often."

I laughed and kissed him. "I really hope you don't ever change…well I mean someday when we have children I hope you can use the word 'love' more but…I love you the way you are."

Dean chuckled and kissed me back. "We should try again."

"You just don't quit, do you?" I asked him, and kissed him when he smirked and shook his head.

xxxx

**Sam's POV**

I had noticed that Lance was feeling incredibly uncomfortable but I had absolutely no idea _why_ at this point because he kept hanging out with Annie, Kate and Kalli. He was surrounded by three _beautiful_ women and I was starting to feel like Annie had been onto something: maybe he _was_ still in love with Lana. That would explain why he was surrounded by women and still not okay. Then again, then I stumbled onto a conversation I hadn't been expecting to hear.

"Has anyone else noticed how simply delectable Sammy is when he scrunches up that adorable nose of his?" Kalli asked and I choked a little on my coffee from the other room.

"No, I hadn't." Annie said aloud.

Kate laughed a little. "Have you noticed how cute he is when he gets stumped on a case and pouts?"

"Oh my God this is totally not worth it!" Lance exclaimed. "If it's not hearing about Dean and Lan-Bon going at it like rabbits, it's hearing about Sam scrunching up his nose and pouting and being all hot and tempting. STOP!"

"Someone sounds jealous that Sam is bigger than him." Kate said and I heard high fives.

I shifted uncomfortably on the couch and looked at the book I was reading, trying to pretend like I hadn't heard the girls in the kitchen. I mean it was a boost to my ego, and I was flattered since I'd taken a liking to Kate the second we'd met, but come on. This was far too good to be true—normally _Dean_ had two girls after him at once…not _me_.

"I think you girls are making Lance uncomfortable." Florence said and I heard her start to stir something—she was making dinner.

Kate sighed loudly. "Sorry…there's just nothing else to talk about. I mean Lana and Dean are all patched up and I'm glad—no one should break them apart."

"Exactly!" Annie agreed quickly. "They're in love and they want to be together and they deserve it."

"Yeah, but the point I was trying to make, Annie, is that cute as they are, right now they're boring." Kate said, sipping some more coffee. "I mean I love them, and we've all heard their sex life—it's awesome—but come on there's a hot, intelligent, _amazing_ guy out there on the couch who's getting _no_ attention."

"I can fix that!" Kalli exclaimed and I shifted again.

She had come out into the living room even though Kate and Annie had told her to wait, and Florence was having Lance try the sauce she was making. Kalli plopped down right next to me and I glanced up just in time to see Kate shoot her a dirty look. Was she jealous, maybe? That might be nice—no, what was I saying? I shouldn't let sisters be annoyed with each other like this!

"You're very attractive." Kalli told me.

"Hmm?" I asked her, blushing a little. "Sure you're talking to the right brother?"

"You're attractive, Sammy. Can I buy you dinner or something?" Kalli asked, flashing a smile that made me laugh awkwardly.

I smiled at her. "You can sit next to me at dinner. I promised Florence that I'd try her fettuccine."

"Okay." Kalli told me, and she seemed thoroughly excited. "So what are you reading?"

"I actually stole Lan's Shakespeare book from her." I explained to her.

Kalli smirked. "A boy who likes Shakespeare, huh? That's just very…hot."

I blushed some more. "Thanks."

Kalli rested her hand on my thigh, and I was confused, but not hating it. Girls never made passes at me like this. It had to be because Dean was taken. Of course, that had never stopped girls before, but these were Lana's cousins. They would never do that to _her_. There we had it…I was the second choice and I was used to that.

"You have a nice belt on." Kalli told me, running her fingers along it flirtatiously.

I noticed my breathing start to change and I really didn't know what to say to that because she was touching my _belt_. Kate was also giving her weird looks like she was annoyed that what Kalli was doing might be working and I just smiled. The girl was trying to seduce me and all I could do was think about her sister…her adorable, witty sister who had convinced Jen and Annie to bring Lana back to life in the first place.

"I think Lana might have mentioned she needed you earlier." Kate told her, and Kalli smiled.

"I'll go see." Kalli said, knowing her sister was trying to get rid of her, but she had left her impression, and so she leaned in and whispered, "I'll talk to you at dinner, Sammy."

Then she nibbled my earlobe softly and got up, leaving me stunned. Okay…that had _definitely_ never happened to me before and I really didn't know what to do about it. As she went up the stairs, Kate sat down next to me and sighed loudly and all of my focus was on her and how hot my face was right then. Kate had had to witness that _whole_ thing and I'm sure she felt pretty embarrassed too.

"Sorry about my sister." Kate told him.

I shook my head. "No, no—it's not your fault so don't apologize, really."

"So you wanna maybe…take a little turn out back?" Kate asked me.

"Sure, I'd like that." I told her with a smile.

She smiled back and then the two of us went out in the back yard and we walked a little in the cool night air. I glanced at Kate who seemed to be thinking and then I looked in front of me and thought about it. I mean should I be encouraging this even though I wanted to? This would be pitting sisters against each other and I wasn't sure if I could do that. I mean this was _Dean's _forte, _not _mine.

"You're being the pensive thinker. What's up?" Kate asked me.

I looked at her. "Whatever do you mean?"

"Look, Sammy, you're in a very interesting place. Three girls in this house like you, and you're going to have to pick one." Kate told me without beating around the bush and I quite liked that about her.

I was even more confused now because yes, I was attractive—Lana told it to me enough and I got it, but _three_ girls? Had I switched places with Dean and not realized it? This was just something I wasn't used to and at the same time, I wasn't going to let this chance to talk to Kate get ruined.

"I'm glad you brought Lan back, Kate." I told her, smiling at her and stepping closer to her. "I'm glad you did it for him."

"It wasn't _just_ for him but…you're welcome." She told me, and she reached out to touch my arm.

I smiled at her. "There's more to you than people see, huh?"

"You're already cute, stop showing off." She told me, pushing my arm playfully. "If you're going to hit on me, Sammy, just hit on me."

I smiled at her and then asked her to sit next to me at dinner and she accepted and I found myself grinning. Honestly I don't know what I would have done with myself had she told me to go jump off a cliff or something. She was beautiful, and I followed her into the kitchen to see what Lance and Florence were up to and then I helped her set the table.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Honestly I have to say that dinner was only _mostly_ enjoyable. Sam was getting a _lot _of the attention if not _all _of it, and yet he was focusing on Kate. I thought it was cute because I Thought Kate and Sam were completely compatible, but Dean was getting annoyed that none of the attractive girls wanted _him _and I knew that was just kind of his default but he had _me _and he wanted _me _so…why was he so upset?

"My God, can people stop goggling Sam, please?" Dean asked aloud.

I just kept looking at my food and I sighed loudly. I mean I wasn't in love with Sam and I didn't mind the attention he was getting in the slightest but again _Dean_ was upset about him and that would bring his inner flirt out. He was used to having attention and he liked to wave it off and explain he was taken so actually the more I thought it out the more it made sense to me…and yet _still_ bugged me at the same time.

"What are you talking about?" Kalli asked him. "There's no goggling going on here. Just some…footsie."

Dean looked at her. "Foostie?"

"You sound jealous." I said, looking at him.

Dean scoffed, but he was jealous—you could tell. Dean Winchester, the ladies' man, was no longer the center of attention and it was killing him a little inside that _three _attractive females were vying for _Sam's _attention instead. Dean was right then _second_ to his younger brother: the more reserved, less obnoxious, intelligent, soft spoken yet still incredibly sexy, Winchester.

"I am not." Dean said, and ate some mashed potatoes.

We got through dinner with Mom trying to make small talk with all of us, but when it was over, Dean was up to his old self. I knew he loved me, and I knew he wanted to see if he still had it, but he was flirting with my cousin while I read on the couch. He couldn't have waited until I was out of the room to do this?

"So…Kalli…" Dean said his flirt mode officially on.

"Yes, Deano?" Kalli replied, looking away from Sam as he pretended he didn't notice all eyes on him.

"What makes you like a man like Sammy more than me?" Dean asked politely. "Especially a woman as beautiful as you."

Kalli smiled at him. "Well, Dean, _you're_ taken, and though most girls would find that a challenge that made them happy inside…I don't."

"Plus, you're rugged and everything, but Sammy is all charming and brilliant and he brings a relationship to the table that he values." Kate said, standing right next to Sam who smiled down at her.

"So do I!" Dean protested. "I mean Lanni and I are getting _married_!"

Annie laughed loudly. "Yeah, and I think you see my point here now, don't you? You don't _value_ the relationship because you're _hitting_ on her cousins…in front of her."

"She knows I don't mean any harm by it, Beautiful." Dean told her with a shrug.

Annie looked over at me as I covered more of my face with my book and Kalli and Kate both told Dean he was hopeless. He probably had more up his sleeve but all eyes in the room turned to Sam when he yawned and stretched and he blushed a little when he noticed. He could no longer walk in this house without being watched with hungry eyes and he was beginning to realize that.

"You know, I could use some help researching this demon, but I only need one person." Sam said, looking at Annie, Kalli and Kate.

I wasn't sure if he was doing it to give Dean and me privacy, or if he really needed help, but Dean went into the kitchen and I sat up as Sam told them he would be up grabbing the laptop. He was giving them all a chance to fight over him and milk this for all it was worth, but he was looking at Kate as he said it. Kate even smiled at him and I knew she'd fight for it, just to prove to them that he was worth it…that or she'd make him think she would and then make him fight for her instead—I thought they were adorable.

"I'm going." Kalli said, jumping up and heading towards the stairs, after Sam went up but Kate grabbed her.

"You are not. I am." Kate told her.

I looked over at Annie, who seemed to have no intention of doing anything and I gave her a head nod. She liked Sam—I knew it. She'd been growing this crush on him, and she deserved this chance, didn't she? Then again I knew she had been seeing Penn and that she was still in love with him and I didn't want Sam to get hurt so…oh I couldn't pick sides! They were my family and whoever got Sam, got Sam and I would support them.

"I think Sam wanted Kate to do it." Annie said with a shrug. "He's been looking at her all night, so just let her do it."

I smiled at that and stood up. "You know what? I'm going upstairs. Just so we're clear though, if any of you break Sam's heart, I will break you. I don't care how much I love you guys—I love him too. Tell Dean that the spare blankets are in the closet, and show him how to pull the couch out into a bed."

"You can't go to bed angry at him." Annie protested.

Kalli nodded vigorously. "I agree with her. I washed your bed clothes in that 'Simple Pleasures' softener. The commercial says you can't go to bed mad."

I cracked a smile. "Just let him know."

I went up the stairs and I lay on my bed, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before I started to read some more. Honestly I couldn't get enough of my Shakespeare, and I looked up as my door opened. I made a face as Dean came into my room and shut the door behind him and he sighed a little. They had obviously told him what I said and yet still here he was.

"The spare blankets aren't in here." I told him without looking at him.

Dean crawled onto the bed and planted his hands on either side of me to show me that I wasn't going to get to _go_ anywhere. I lowered the book for a moment and looked at him, his beautiful hazel eyes peering into mine. How could I even be mad at the beautiful man on top of me? I mean how?

"Seriously." I said and Dean cocked his head to one side. "I mean it—I'm annoyed with you. At least flirt with my family members when I'm not right there."

"Lana?" He asked me softly yet firmly.

"What?" I asked, slightly thrown by the 'Lana' part.

"Shut-up and kiss me." He told me.

It was definitely an order and at first I thought about it, but then I gave him a look as he came closer to me and I put my book up. He sighed, and I knew he was annoyed but after flirting with my cousins _in front of me_ he was going to have to work for it. Actually it was the full moon and I was feeling _really_ horny, but he wasn't off the hook just yet.

"Lanni…" Dean said, trying to get me to cave since he put the nickname back into use.

"You can't just come in here and expect me to forgive you." I told him. "You hit on Kalli _and_ Annie."

Dean took a deep breath. "I was just—"

"—jealous of the attention Sammy's getting." I finished for him taking the book out from between us and shutting it and placing it on the dresser. "I get that but in _front_ of me?"

"I'm sorry, Baby." Dean replied, his hands traveling down my sides as he kissed my collarbone softly.

Oh, I knew what he was trying to do and I _knew_ that it was going to work, but I wasn't going to cave this easy. He apologized and I believed him and I loved what he was doing with his mouth but we had more banter in us than this. Besides, if I acted a little madder, he'd have to pull out some more things to try and 'get me to cave'.

"That doesn't make flirting with them better." I said, trying very hard not to cave right then and there, but he was using his tongue around my earlobe now and I wanted to rip his clothes off.

"You know, you're sexy when you're angry." Dean told me, and I kissed him before pushing him off.

"Okay, we do this my way." I said and I got up even though Dean pouted, backing up towards the bathroom. "I snuck out while the others were out and you were showering, and I bought you a present. Go downstairs into the den, and wait for me. I _promise_ you it's worth it."

Dean raised an eyebrow but left the room, and I changed into the lingerie I had bought and pulled a see through robe on over it, smirking in the mirror. Oh yeah. He was going to be a _very_ happy boy tonight—thank goodness the den was soundproof. I went downstairs after grabbing a mixed CD and Kalli and Kate both looked up and I shrugged at them—this was totally fine.

"Someone is going to be very, _very_, happy tonight." Kalli said with an approving nod. "I like the outfit."

Kate laughed and nodded too. "Something tells me Dean is going to _love_ it."

"God, I hope so." I told them.

"Well don't keep him waiting." Kalli said pointing to the den.

I laughed and went into the den, smiling when I saw Dean poking the logs in the fireplace. He looked over at me when he heard me shut the door and he looked stunned for a moment, his eyes raking over me. It was definitely a reaction that I was going for and I put my hands on my hips after pushing some hair off of one of my shoulders.

"You like?" I asked him. "I mean it's nothing fancy but—"

"—I like _very_ much." Dean interrupted me.

I smiled at him and glanced down at the black and red outfit I was wearing and looked up when I heard Dean's hands move. He was started to unbutton his shirt and I shook my head because that was _not_ how this encounter was _supposed _to be going and I was sure part of him _knew_ that.

"No, no, no. This is your way of repaying me. I get to undress you." I said, and slowly crossed over to the stereo, and put the CD in, ALO's '_**Girl I Wanna Lay You Down**_' coming on, and I turned to Dean. "Come here."

Dean smirked at me as I put on the most commanding tone that I could muster and Dean crossed over to me as the song began to play, and rested his hands on my waist. He looked down at me with lust in his eyes and I knew that my eyes were matching his right then. We both wanted this, and there was _no_ reason to deny it from each other.

"I could get used to you being forceful." He whispered his face close to mine as they began to sing.

**I come over, early in the morning**

**Just like a heat wave without warning**

**And when I touch you my heart begins to flutter**

**Cause you're smooth and creamy like peanut butter**

**Girl, I wanna lay you down**

**I said girl, I wanna lay you down**

**I'm gonna flood you like a love river**

**Ah, baby the postman is about to deliver**

**I cook you up some dinner, a little pasta**

**Listen to some music, a little rasta**

**I said girl, I wanna lay you down**

**I said girl, I wanna lay you down**

**Girl, I wanna lay you down**

**Ah baby, baby**

**Don't you know I need your love?**

**So turn out the lights, bring out the candles**

**Wrap your arms around my love handles**

**They say that passion may not always endure**

**But this feeling that I have for you is burning up my world**

**Girl, I wanna lay you down**

**I said girl, I wanna lay you down**

**Girl, I wanna lay you down**

**Girl, I wanna lay you down**

**Girl, I wanna lay you down**

**Girl, I wanna lay you down**

Dean kissed me gently, and I returned it, stopping his hands as he tried to slip the robe off as the kiss grew between us. There was just something about the lyrics and our actions at the same time that was getting to both of us, but it was _my _turn to be in charge and he had to let me be. He moaned a little in protest to me stopping him, and I slowly backed him up into the wall, pressing myself against him.

"That song was like the thoughts in my head." Dean whispered to me, whining a little. "This feeling that I have for you is burning up my—"

I kissed him suddenly, pressing my lips to his, sliding my tongue into his mouth and smiling when he relaxed a bit. I pulled away slowly, tugging on his lower lip a little with my teeth before I began to unbutton his shirt and my lips traveled to his sternum, nibbling a little as his breathing changed. My lips traveled down his torso as I unbuttoned his shirt, and once unbuttoned all the way, I nibbled right below his belly button and he shifted a little, moaning.

"Honey, can we please get my pants unfastened before you do that?" He breathed softly

I smirked and looked at him, bringing my face close to his, my voice a whisper. "Makes you that happy, does it?"

His lips collided with mine, and his hands ran along the lace, causing me to shiver happily. Maybe it was just the fire, but I felt like his hands were adding heat to my body everywhere that he ran his hands and I loved it—_every _bit of it. I felt more desire creep into me as he slid the robe down my arms, and his lips traveled down to my neck, where he sucked on the skin. I moaned slightly, giggling and smirking when he pinned me to the wall, and tugged on the robe, it fluttering to the floor.

"You wanna take over now?" I whispered, moaning a little more as his lips traveled down to my sternum. "I'll take that as a 'yes'."

I giggled slightly as '_**I'll Take That as a Yes**_' by Phil Vassar came on, and Dean pressed up against me a little harder, and then pulled me down onto the rug with him in one fast motion. It wasn't his kind of music selection—this song or a lot of the ones I made him listen to—but the lyrics and the beat made him tolerate it. Our breathing, and the touching and the way the music was making us feel, was the only thing that helping it to make him even _more_ hot and bothered than he already was.

**You like a dozen wine red roses**

**Candle lights on porcelain set tables**

**And that's fine**

**Well, I'll go out of my way for you anytime, that's right**

**The fire's warm so you take off your sweater**

**Now it's my turn and I'll do you one better**

**That's the game we both like to play**

**You wink, I laugh 'cause we know**

**A little hug leads to a foot rub**

**Then a hot tub**

**Then a french kiss on a bear rug**

**Do you like it**

**Do you like it**

**How about this**

**Wanna try it?**

**Oh, oh, oh**

**I'll take that as a yes**

**You like snugglin' with your pillow**

**With my arms tight holdin' us together**

**Breathin' deep**

**Driftin' like a feather in a stream**

**Then I touch you on the shoulder**

**Feel your skin soft underneath my fingers**

**And I know we'll never get to sleep**

**You wink, I laugh 'cause we know**

**A little hug leads to a foot rub**

**Then a hot tub**

**Then a french kiss on a bear rug**

**Do you like it**

**Do you like it**

**How about this**

**Wanna try it?**

**Oh, oh, oh**

**I'll take that as a yes**

**It's written all over your face**

**There's no mistake, no guess, no doubt**

**No beatin' around the bush**

**Baby it's understood**

**You wink, I laugh 'cause we know**

**A little hug leads to a foot rub**

**Then a hot tub**

**Then a french kiss on a bear rug**

**Do you like it**

**Do you like it**

**How about this**

**Wanna try it?**

**Oh, oh, oh**

**I'll take that as a yes**

**I'll take that as a yes**

**I'll take that as a yes**

**Cuz we know**

**That a little hug leads to a foot rub hot tub bear rug**

**I like it**

**I like it**

Dean's lips traveled down to my belly button, where he kissed around it before his tongue darted into it and then he smirked when I arched my back a little. My whole body was on fire and as Dean's tongue traveled farther south I realized just _how_ much I wanted him to touch me everywhere. I mean I felt like this about Dean Winchester _all_ the time, but right now it was like every feeling was so much more intense.

"Foreplay is exhausting." I whispered, smiling a little as ours eyes met.

"Baby, we're just getting started." He whispered back.

I giggled as he slid his body up mine, and looked me in the eye. "God, you have stamina."

"It's part of my charm." He told me and I felt his fingers push inside of me with ease.

"For some reason I want to eat you up today." I whispered, and kissed him, but pulled away before he could kiss me back. "I need your pants off now, honey because what you're doing with your fingers is _not_ fair."

"How badly do you want them to come off?" Dean asked me.

My lust-blown eyes blazed into his. "Badly."

Dean nodded, and got off of me, leaving me to groan in protest at the loss of his touch, but I'd asked. I propped myself up on my arms as he undid his belt slowly, backing up a couple steps like it was _his_ turn to make _me_ work for. Oh, that was how it was now, huh? I officially had no more power over him?

"You are a tease, Mr. Winchester." I told him.

"And you love every minute of it, Miss Meckenzie." He replied, slowly taking the belt out of the belt loops.

"I do believe that undressing you is _my_ job, Mr. Winchester." I said, biting my lip as he cocked his head to one side all sexy-like.

He smirked on top of it all. "Well, Miss Meckenzie, I have to entertain you too."

"Boy, I wanna lay you down." I said, and began to unlace the corset part of the ensemble.

"Now, now, _that's_ for me to do." Dean told me, and I smirked.

"Oh, is it now?" I asked, smiling as he unfastened his pants and came back down on the rug with me. "What dirty things are going through your mind?"

He just smirked and kissed me in response, and I let him remove the rest of the clothing that either of us had, and we lay on the rug in front of the fire, kissing each other for a little while, Dean's hands roaming. Dean grunted when my hands traveled down his damp skin and found his aching member, working it in the ways I remembered how. I closed my eyes and felt his teeth on my neck as he moved himself against my hand and I honestly just want to get to the act and then we could play some more again and go a few times…was that too much to ask?

"If making up is this beautiful, I want to fight more." Dean whispered as I nibbled on his neck now instead since he was focused on not 'embarrassing himself' while I had him in my hands.

"I hope you don't mean that." I said, though I smiled a little. "I want this to be this good _without_ the fighting."

Dean kissed me again, and then '_**You're All I Have**_' by Snow Patrol came on, and we both knew where this was headed—right now. I opened my mouth to take a breath as Dean pushed his flesh inside of mine and I matched the pace he set with ease, our hands sliding as we kissed and moved against each others. Our bodies danced in the firelight for a while before we had to take a break, and I kissed his wet chest softly, my body collapsed on top of his.

"Marry me." Dean told me, pushing my hair out of my face.

I struggled for a breath. "How romantic to ask now."

"Baby? Just say 'yes'." Dean said, catching his breath as well.

"Of course my answer is 'yes'." I told him, rolling my eyes.

He smiled and kissed me. "Good."

"Think we can beat our record?" I asked in a flirty whisper, my lips traveling to his jaw where I bit down softly.

"Absolutely." He chuckled.

xxxx

**Sam's POV**

Honestly I didn't think I could be any happier when Kate told me that we'd be working on my research together. I didn't have _much_ in the way of research, but I did have some and in the little bit of time when we _weren't_ working on the research, I was hoping that we would get to know each other better.

"Isn't tonight the Full Moon?" I asked Annie as we both stood in the kitchen, grabbing something to snack on.

Annie nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"Isn't she supposed to be violent tonight?" I asked her and Annie's eyes widened so we both headed into the living room where Kalli and Kate were lauging.

"What's up?" Annie asked them.

Kate looked at her with a big smile on her face. "Lana and Dean are going to be indisposed for a while. Those two are—"

"—kinky and in love." Kalli finished for her.

"Where are they?" Annie asked firmly which made Kate and Kalli stop giggling.

"In the den. Why?" Kalli asked us.

Annie and I hurried over towards the door but Florence stepped in front of us and Annie and I both exchanged looks. Florence had been the one that was telling us that Lana had to be restrained because she could hurt someone and now she was _stopping_ us? Did she even know that Lana and Dean were together and that my brother could be in _danger_?

"Mom! It's the Full Moon tonight." Annie protested loudly.

Florence nodded. "Yes, and I was wrong about the whole violent thing. Go sit on the couch and I'll explain everything. As weird as it sounds, I want them to have this time to do whatever it is they're doing—I want them to be happy."

"Oh they're happy all right." Kalli said, Kate and Annie cracking smiles because we all knew in _what way_ Lana and Dean were happy.

"What do you mean you were wrong?" I asked Florence so we could get back onto the subject at hand.

Florence took a breath. "Lana's demon side is…it's particular about when it shows itself…much like her father when he decides to show. What I mean to say is that in Dean's company tonight she's…well lustful instead of violent. I'm sure he'll come out a little bruised, but to him they're battle scars. I suppressed her demon side today, Sammy—no doubt you figured out that had to be done. She's wearing a pendant already, and the violence has been replaced with another strong emotion."

"So…what if on a Full Moon, she's around demons?" I asked gingerly.

"Then it's not good." Florence admitted to me. "Lana will take whatever strong emotion she feels from others, and she will thrive on it until she learns how to be in more control of the new her. That's why I want you to let them alone—lust isn't the worst emotion she could be feeling right now."

"Fair enough." I told her.

Florence smiled at me. "Thank you for caring about her, Sam."

She got up and went upstairs to her room after telling the others to get to bed soon and Annie headed straight up after her mother. Then Kate went into the kitchen to grab some hot chocolate before telling me to come up to her room to work on the case in a bit, and Kalli came over to me. I knew it was coming and I smiled at her and she smiled back.

"You sleep alone?" Kalli asked me.

I blushed at that. "Yeah—I mean sometimes Lan used to sleep with me, but um…yeah…I sleep alone."

She smiled at me and I smiled back because it was polite and I liked her—I liked the attention—but at the same time I just wanted Kate. Kalli definitely didn't beat around the bush though and I liked that she was so confident: more women needed to be confident like that and go for what they wanted. She ran her fingers through my hair and leaned in, her nose touching mine, our lips millimeters away.

"Well if it gets too lonely, or you need a change of pace…my door is always open." She said, and she smirked and went up the stairs as I pondered that.

I wasn't pondering it because I was going to blindly follow her up I was pondering how to do this. Somehow I was going to have to let her down, and instead of dwelling on that right then, I grabbed my laptop and went up to Kate's room. I knocked on the door and she answered it, pajama pants and a tight t-shirt on.

"Ready to research?" Kate asked me with a smile.

I smiled back. "Yeah…yeah I am."

"Then come on in but I swear if you hog the whole bed, I'm gonna have to get Annie to cut you." She told me as I walked in, shutting the door behind us and we both laughed. "I'm glad you took that as a joke, Sammy."

"You know…you're the only one that I let call me 'Sammy' outside of Lana, Dean and Annie…I like it when you say it." I told her.

I can't say that her blushing at that didn't make me smile—because then I'd be a liar.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I pulled the sheet up around me more when I woke up the next morning, giggling a little when Dean kissed my back. We had a sheet _and_ a blanket even though we were on the floor and in front of a fire. We had both been practical and knew the fire had to go out eventually and that meant we should be warm and have more than just each other's heat.

"How long have you been awake?" I asked him.

He shrugged against me. "A little while. You whispered my name in your sleep, followed by a 'please don't stop, I like it'."

"Must have been one hell of a dream I can't remember." I told him, a smirk on my face.

I turned over and kissed him, running my hand along his right arm as I lay on my right side, my body to his. He stroked my hair and kissed me back, cradling me with his whole body and I loved how I fit so perfectly into him. As cheesy as it sounded, it was almost like we made to fit like this—like we were the missing puzzle pieces to finish off a jigsaw puzzle.

"That ring fits nicely on your finger." Dean whispered, and smiled before he kissed me again.

I smiled too and nodded. "I like it much better on my finger. It was becoming like a lost love thing around my neck…I'm never taking this off, by the way. This ring right here means you own my ass…and every other part of me."

"I tried watching television." Dean admitted, chuckling at what I'd said.

"And found that the DVD player was on and the 6 hour version of 'Pride and Prejudice' with Colin Firth was in it?" I asked him, laughing.

He nodded slowly. "Yeah, and when I turned it off…"

I looked him in the eye was he trailed off and gave me a look and I laughed. He had to be kidding…was he kidding? It was hilarious if he wasn't, but at the same time it would bruise his ego a little and I liked my baby's ego _un_bruised thank you very much.

"You're kidding." I told him.

"Sadly I'm not. Everything I did to you and you didn't want me to stop the movie." He told me shaking his head and when I laughed again he shot me a look.

"Oh honey, I don't want you to stop what you do to me either." I assured him, kissing him, and then nibbling on his bottom lip a little.

Dean smirked at me. "You wanna go again, Princess?"

It was the first time he'd every called me 'Princess', but he was being playful and I kind of liked it. Nothing would ever replace 'Baby', but 'Princess' definitely worked and I could get used to it…not gonna lie. So I just giggled and I nodded, running my hands along his arms.

"Absolutely, Mr. Winchester." I told him, kissing him gently.

"Hmmm…have I told you how badly I want to call you _Mrs. _Winchester? Alana Rose Winchester sounds wonderful." He whispered, kissing me again.

I was a little off guard, but I smiled and kissed him again. "Oh, I owe you another couple times at least. Please allow me to do you that honor, Mr. Winchester."

"Of course, Mrs. Winchester." He replied softly.

I crawled on top of him, making a trail of kisses down to his sternum, and then right before anything fun happened, there was a knock on the den door. Dean groaned and so did I, botch of us sighing loudly and making eye contact. On the one hand we wanted to just ignore the knocking and get back to it, but on the other hand, what if it was important and we were needed?

"We should get that." I told him softly. "They could need us."

Dean nodded and I got up reluctantly, pulling the sheet around me and leaving Dean the blanket to cover himself with. I opened up the door a crack to see my mother standing there with clothes and I smiled a little, a blush rising. She was my mother and to get me and Annie she pretty much had to have sex—unless Dad was possessing her when she was impregnated—but still it was weird. Even though my mother had had sex before, talking about it with her was kind of awkward, honestly.

"Breakfast, Kidlett." Mom told me.

I nodded and smiled. "Okay, Mommy. We'll be right there."

"I already had Annie grab you clothes." Mom said, and I took them through the crack before thanking her and closing the door.

"You owe me tonight." Dean said with a smile on his face.

I laughed loudly. "For a man who says he _isn't _a machine, you sure as Hell _act _like you are."

"Trying for a baby means having a lot of sex—_you _should know this." Dean told me.

I rolled my eyes but smiled too, because honestly after proposing the man had won me over. If Dean Winchester wanted me to have his baby so damn bad than so be it, but that meant that even if I was pregnant he had to let me tag along with him and Sam. I wanted to be with Dean and I would follow him absolutely _anywhere _and I was glad that he knew that, and that things were going so great.

Dean took my hand, our fingers lacing together after we were dressed. "Red is definitely your color, Baby."

"Thank you." I told him. "You look mighty fine yourself in that green—it brings our the forest green in your beautiful eyes."

Dean rolled his eyes and then kissed me, happy with the compliment, and we both went out to the kitchen and sat next to each other at the kitchen table. Kate and Sam were talking to each other happily and I had no idea what was going on, but I smiled and jumped a little when I felt Dean's fingers on my knees. Honestly if Dean and I could around the whole eating thing and the sleeping and the being around people, we'd prolly spend all of our time in bed together…we needed to get out and hunt…

"You two seem happy." I told Kate.

Kate just beamed and Kalli and Annie were picking at their food, so this meant something was up. Had this meant that Sam had made his choice and it was Kate and now the other two were disappointed?

Kalli shrugged a little. "Sammy and I have been researching and we think we may have a hunt. Honestly, why didn't you tell me how good at digging up information and hacking into things he was?"

"I just figured it was obvious." I said with a shrug and started eating some pancakes, jumping slightly again. "Dean…"

Dean smirked at me. "Sorry…I just want you."

"The feeling's mutual." I told him with a smile, eating the pancake off of my fork while keeping eye contact with him.

"Sweetheart, Paige called." Mom said, coming into the kitchen. "Something happened last night and she's in the hospital."

**Note: Oh man all of the new characters and the weird hunt and the couplings! The next chapter finishes up this hunt and moves onto the next one and man this was 29 pages! What do you think about Azazel being Lana's and Annie's father? Feedback is always appreciated!**


	47. Baking Cookies

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Yeah, I forgot that there was another couple deaths so…this chapter is sad, but there's some fluff.**

**There's also some arguing in it and you'll probably be all, "wtf?" but the argument won't be discussed in length until the end of the next chapter.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

When I got to the hospital, I had no problems getting in to see Paige, which was kind of amazing. I had expected there to be a lot more security since she had been pretty badly beaten up, but there wasn't. I was on her list of people to see her, and since Dean was with me, they let him in too.

Part of me felt relieved that I hadn't done this—there was a demon out there that I didn't know about because Paige had been hurt _while_ I was at the house in the cage. Someone else who was doing these things. Someone else who was to blame for the shit that kept happening. It wasn't my fault. Whatever this switch was I hadn't done _this_…but that didn't mean that I hadn't done something else that we hadn't found out about yet.

"You okay?" Dean asked me.

I nodded, but really, I wasn't—I didn't feel well. I felt nauseous, especially since she had started to become one of my friends, and there was nothing I could do for her now. She was just lying there, unconscious. How did she call then? Did Mom just get it wrong? She had to have. The doctor said Paige had been unconscious for hours…the _nurse_ had to have phoned our house.

"Dean…do you think you can get me some coffee?" I asked him.

Dean nodded, and left the room, leaving me to sit in the chair near the bed, and I took her hand in mine. I didn't know what to do. I was starting to hate hospitals—hate everything about them. It was all starting to be one crappy thing after another. I didn't want to be here anymore…if I was going to be alive again, I wanted to start over _away_ from a hospital.

"Lana?" Paige asked groggily, waking up.

I squeezed her hand. "I'm here."

"Good." Paige said, smiling and opening up her eyes. "You okay?"

"Am I okay?" I asked with a broken smile. "I'm fine. We should all be asking you if you're okay."

Paige shrugged, but cringed as she did so. "I'm fine, hon."

I smiled and stroked her hair, and we both looked at each other. I had to ask the question, and she was expecting it, but neither of us said anything. She had been with me when my eyes flashed and she hunted things and I needed to know if I had hurt her…if she had seen _me _hurt anything. It was just that right now it wasn't worth it—all that mattered right now was making sure that she was okay.

"Here's your coffee." Dean said, and then he just kind of nodded at Paige. "Hi."

"Hi." Paige replied, smiling.

It kind of made me sad that my new friend and my boyfriend didn't get along—not in the slightest. He hated her. He thought she was taking me away from him, and though it wasn't true at the same time she and I shared something Dean didn't share with me—school. I just wanted them to get along, but it was far too much to ask and I knew that.

"So what did that to you?" Dean asked, sipping his own coffee, and not really caring about the response, but pretending like he did.

Paige looked at me. "You're not the demon they think you are. It was a Greplin."

"A Greplin?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows.

"A Greplin is a demon that takes over a person's body. It's like possession, only it's more like one body going into another. They pretty much become one with the person they're 'haunting', in a sense, and they feed. They use the person's body as their house." I explained to him. "Honestly they're parasites only demonic."

Paige nodded at that. "Some of them gain more control than others, depending on how weak the host is, and they start to kill. The only sign of them is a symbol on the back of their neck."

"How do you two know this?" Dean asked us.

"I've run into one before." I told him, looking at the bed. "One possessed Jen for a while years and years ago. It was Junior High, I believe."

"I've just read about them." Paige said with a shrug. "That must have been rough. I know how close you and Jen are."

I smiled and nodded at that because she really didn't know _how_ close Jen and I were. Hell in High School we hung out so much that our periods came a day apart and we told each other _everything_—even things we shouldn't. Like Jen knew I liked being on top and I knew Kevin was a biter—I mean it's far too much information but she was my best friend and I was hers and that was just how we rolled.

"It was definitely hard." I told her. "Mom got me through it though—Bethany."

Dean nodded slowly. "The only mother you really knew until now."

Paige grasped my hand. "It was in your mother, Lana."

"Mom?" I asked suddenly. "That's ridiculous."

"Completely ridiculous." Dean agreed with me.

Paige sighed loudly. "I know you don't want to believe it, but I can prove it."

"How do we kill it?" Dean asked her.

I was still kind of reeling from the information presented here that it was inside of my _mother_. And why did I have blood on my hands before and how…things just _weren't_ adding up. Still, Dean had asked a question and so I shook the thoughts away and looked at him, his eyes practically boring into mine.

I took a breath. "You have to kill the host in most cases—if the demon hasn't gotten truly violent yet though, there's an injection that kills it from the inside out without hurting the host. That's how I got it out of Jen."

"What do you classify as truly violent?" Dean asked me.

"In some cases, the host is so strong that there's no way you can get close enough to it to give it the antidote, or it has taken over so completely, that it's immune." Paige explained. "There are actually a few mass murderers in history that were Greplins."

I sighed loudly. "Which means we have to figure this out _now_ because if Mom has one in her and she makes even one more kill…she's as good as dead, as bad as that sounds."

Dean nodded, and I kissed Paige's forehead, leaving with Dean to go and see Mom because I needed answers. I still wasn't convinced that it was inside of her, and Dean refused to leave me alone with her in the same room, but I needed him to—this was _my_ fight. This was _my_ mother.

"Lanni, don't tell me 'no' again. You know how I feel about you running around getting yourself into trouble." Dean told me. "Besides…you never know."

I gave him a look when he pointed at my stomach. "You don't honestly think that your sperm and my eggs are making cookies already do you?"

"Wow do you have a way with words." Dean told me, laughing a little.

"Eh," I said with a playful shrug and a smile, "I was just gifted like that. Come on, Dean…_please_ let me try this on my own? I _promise_ you that I will call you if I really need your help."

Dean sighed loudly. "I don't like this."

I nodded, and then got my phone out of my pocket as it rang. "What's up, Paige?"

"Get Annie and your mother to come with you to my house. Since I'm awake and recovering, the doctor released me." Paige explained to me. "Just…I hate to sound terrible, but don't bring Dean. He doesn't trust me, and I'm afraid he'll mess things up."

"What if I promise he won't?" I asked her sighing.

Paige sighed too. "I just—I want your mother to come out of this, and he distracts you. You have to have your wits about you."

"Fine." I told her. "I'll be there soon."

I hung up the phone and looked at Dean and I bit my lip because things _still_ weren't adding up for me. How did it get into Mom? Why in the world wouldn't I have noticed with my newly heightened demonic senses? What was with Paige asking for Dean not to come? I mean yeah, I got what she was saying about him being a distraction but…Dean would _never_ put my family in jeopardy…I _honestly_ believed that.

"Annie, Mom and I are going over to Paige's." I told him as he stood there, waiting for an answer.

Dean gave me a look. "What? Did that bitch tell you to make me stay here?"

"Dean, she's my friend." I told him sighing loudly. "I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't call her a bitch."

"I just don't trust her." Dean said, resting his hands on my waist.

I took a deep breath. "I trust _her _I just don't trust the _situation_. Can you just…let Kate, Lance and Sam know what's up and let Annie, Mom and I deal with Paige and the weirdness?"

"I hate this." Dean said, letting go of me and backing up a step.

"So do I." I said with a nod.

"No." Dean shook his head. "I hate that you don't trust me as much as Paige. You've known me practically two years, and her only a few days and yet you're doing _exactly_ what _she_ told you to do by making me stay put."

I gave Dean a look. "There is _no_ way that I trust _her_ more than _you_. Hell I don't trust anyone other than _Jen _more than you! You're over-reacting!"

"Really? I don't." He said angrily. "If you need me, don't call. I'm done trying to get you to listen to reason."

I was shocked. "Dean, I'm not making you stay because I don't trust you! I'm making you stay because this is _my_ fight and I don't think the demon is _really_ in my mother!"

"Yeah, well maybe killing the demon is _my_ fight!" Dean retorted.

I honestly had _no_ idea how we had gotten here suddenly nor why Dean was so damned upset with me. What the Hell was going on and where was the Dean that I knew and loved? Why did he think I didn't trust him even though I'd told him that I had? Why was he turning all of this around on me? Where did I make my mistake that led to this?

"He's _my_ father, Dean. He's taken from me." I tried, confused.

Dean scoffed at that. "Yeah? He killed my mother, and my father, and he's going to use my brother as one of his soldiers of darkness. You wanna compare how much _you've_ lost to him?"

"He left me, Dean! Abandoned me, Annie, and my mother, and for what? Then he sent someone after me to _kill_ me! He killed me and I get brought back and this is how you want us to end up? You want to fight me over this petty little battle I want to fight myself?" I asked him. "It's like I'm pregnant and you want me safe but news flash—I'm _not_ pregnant!"

"I'm not having this conversation anymore, Lana. Just go." Dean told me.

I nodded sadly, but I wasn't willing to cry and I just looked at him as he looked at me. I didn't know how we'd gotten here, or what I had said, but he was making his choice and that was that so I had to make mine. I took the ring off of my finger and I took his hand, making him take it.

"When you're ready to stop acting like we're kids and I stole the last cookie, you can give it back. Until then, stop being an ass." I told him.

I went inside the house and got Annie and Mom, who were more than willing to go to Paige's with me to make sure she was okay and to figure this all out. I went to my room and got into my bookcase, grabbing a book that wasn't really a book, getting the injection out of it. There was only one does left of the stash that I had, so this was the only chance we had. Going downstairs, I met Mom and Annie outside, the syringe in my pocket, and I tucked my hair behind my ears—the Impala was gone.

xxxx

When we got to Paige's house, there was something different about her…something was off about her. She seemed so much more—so healed. She didn't look as maimed or beaten as she had looked in the hospital and Mom was giving her a look. Annie felt how uncomfortable I was and then Mom looked at us.

"Annie, Lana—go." Mom ordered.

"Don't listen to her, Lana." Paige told me. "She's the Greplin."

Annie looked at me. "This was all a con?"

"I don't know." I told her slowly.

"You actually think Mom's a Greplin?" Annie asked me again.

"Paige is the Greplin." Mom said, and Annie and I looked at her.

Paige scoffed loudly. "I am not."

"Then show them the back of your neck." Mom told her, holding up her hair to show us that there was absolutely no mark.

Yeah so my theory had definitely been spot on—nothing wrong with my mother. The thing I hadn't been expecting was for _Paige_ to actually be the Greplin and I was kind of annoyed that I hadn't felt that. Why were my senses off? I _hated_ that it was the day _after_ the _Full Moon _when my senses were supposed to be _heightened_ and yet I couldn't sense a damn thing! Was it because I still kept thinking about Dean and how I was sorry?

"You lied to me." I told Paige.

Paige smiled at. "And it was easy—I even got you to leave the boyfriend at home."

I looked at the ground. "I'm such an idiot."

"No you're not. You're just too trusting." Paige said with a smile. "It's all right."

"Stop talking to me like we're friends." I told her. "We're not."

Kate came bursting in with Kalli, both thinking something was up, and before we knew what was happening, Kate was thrown through a wall, and Kalli was tossed out a window. Paige shrugged, and then she pulled out a gun, shooting Mom three times before Annie and I got to her. Annie used her powers to throw Paige up against the wall, and I took out the syringe, stabbing it into her flesh. She started to scream as the antidote went into her, and Annie stopped pinning her there, running over to Mom, who was coughing.

"You son of a bitch!" I yelled at Paige.

Something in my voice was deep and demonic, and I knew my eyes were flashing yellow, but I had control. I didn't know where the control had come from, but I knew where the pain and the anger had and I knew I couldn't let my life be like this…I couldn't have more blood on my hands. Paige kept screaming, now writhing on the floor, me turning to make sure Mom was okay, Annie stroking Mom's hair as she smiled weakly at us and I felt my heart breaking.

"She's a good shot." Mom said, and laughed a little. "These silver bullets kind of tickle."

I shook my head, the tears coming. "That's not the appropriate word, Mom."

"I have a good few minutes left, but that's it." Mom told us.

"No." I told her, shaking my head some more. "That's not true."

Even as I said that, Annie got up, the Greplin having just come out of Paige, and Mom was looking paler than ever. I didn't know what to do. I knew I should have been focusing on killing the Greplin but how could I do that? How could I leave my mother when she was looking so pale and weak, her head in my lap?

"Mommy?" I asked as her eyes rolled back. "Mommy?"

I held her to me and I cried, wondering why all of this was happening and blaming myself all at the same time. Why hadn't I just let Dean come? If I had been more sensible about this, Paige never would have gotten in those shots. I stroked Mom's hair and cried a little harder as her breathing slowly became nonexistent.

"Come on, Mommy. Please. Stick it out. Please. Don't leave me, Mommy. I still need you." I sobbed loudly. "Please, Mommy."

"She's gone." Came a demonic voice. "You're making this _far _too easy, Lana. You better be careful or that switch is gonna get flipped."

Annie flung the Greplin against the wall, but we both knew it was using its last breath to get to us. The Greplin melted, blood and guts everywhere, and Annie made a face—it smelled. She came over to Mom as Paige began to stir, cringing and coughing—her body was in bad shape.

"I'm sorry." She said softly.

It was then that I remembered that you remember what happens when you're possessed by a Greplin—its one of their more terrible traits. You can try your hardest to fight it while its in you but even the strongest people can't honestly force one out by sheer will. Greplins…if I never came across another one in my life that would be fine by me. There were nasty little buggers and one had just killed my mother.

"I'm so sorry." Paige said, crying now.

"It wasn't your fault." I told her, and Annie, Kate and I helped Paige back to the hospital, having to admit Kalli, who was in a coma, and then went back for Mom's body.

"I can't do this, Lanni." Annie admitted slowly.

I wrapped my arms around her, and we cried a little before Annie grabbed a sheet and put it over Mom, and we hauled her all the way to our house, calling the police. Dean wanted to hug me, and I knew it, but we were still so mad at each other and I kept telling Sam that hugging would make it worse. When the cops came and took her body away, us telling them some creep was just randomly shooting, they said we would need to get the funeral and everything set up.

I went upstairs to my room, and I picked up a vase of flowers, throwing it hard against the wall. This wasn't how things were supposed to happen. This isn't how things were supposed to end. Mom wasn't supposed to die. I was supposed to have more time with her. Dad had so many terrible things coming to him—Annie and I weren't going to let this fly. Why the Hell did _I_ have a switch? What was it? When the Hell would he _stop_ doing all of this to me?

"Why'd you take her from me?" I screamed, collapsing onto the floor and crying into the carpet. "Why?"

My door opened, but I didn't look up. The tears splashed out of my eyes and I just cried, all of the pain finally hitting my chest. It was like I couldn't breathe. It was like I was reliving my parents' death all over again. She was gone. I had just found her, and she was gone—ripped away from me from my own father…I had always thought that somewhere deep down he cared about her…but he didn't.

"Breathe, Lanni." Dean told me.

"I can't." I sobbed. "I just can't."

Dean stroked my hair, pushing it out of my face, and I felt him hold me tightly to him. He wasn't going to let me go through this alone. He knew what is was like to lose someone this close to you. She was my mother. She gave me life. She watched over me. Loved me. Cared about me. Explained things to me. How could she just be gone now?

"I'm so sorry, Lanni." Dean whispered to me.

I cried into him some more, and after what seemed like hours, I lay on the floor in a lump, completely out of it. I was limp. I just laid there as Dean stroked my hair. I hated this life. I hated everything. Why couldn't I have just stayed dead? I never would have brought this on anyone. Mom's death was my fault.

"I'm tired." I told him unemotionally, and I got up, getting into bed fully clothed, laying there, nuzzling my pillow with my nose.

Dean got up and nodded. "You want me to stay with you?"

"Whatever." I whispered, closing my eyes.

I heard Dean sigh and then the light went off, but instead of leaving, he crawled into bed with me and held me to him. I started to cry again, wishing that the tears would stop coming, but they wouldn't. I couldn't even cry myself out…this was terrible.

xxxx

When I woke up the next morning, I turned over, knowing that by the amount of warmth, Dean was still in my bed. He smiled at me a little, and stroked my hair and when I went to flex my fingers I realized he'd put the ring back on my finger. I really appreciated it, but at the same time I had wished we could talk about the fight…but now wasn't the time…the fight didn't matter right now.

"How shitty do I look?" I asked him.

He smiled at me. "You look beautiful."

"A lie, but I appreciate it." I told him nodding.

He kissed me, but I didn't return it—I didn't feel like I could be happy right now. Everything just seemed to be falling apart around me and I didn't know what to do and I wanted to talk to Dean but I couldn't. Every time I started to open my mouth to ask him what the Hell was happening between us, I felt like I was a terrible person for coming back to it when my mother was dead.

"Sam found a hunt." Dean said trying to act like me not kissing him back was normal.

I nodded and got out of bed. "I have class today."

"I know that you won't want to hear this, especially from me, but your mother just died. Skip school." Dean told me.

"I have to keep myself busy and if I hunt a demon right now…I just don't know." I said firmly. "Maybe Paige will pick me up."

Dean made a face. "Paige? Why not let me take you?"

"Sam found a hunt." I reminded him. "You need to be here with him."

"No, I need to be with you wherever you are. You're the one that needs me." He said softly.

I started to change. "I don't need you."

Dean looked at me like he understood my pain and I sighed and grabbed his hand as he started to leave my room. That hadn't come out right and I hadn't meant it I just—I was _not _in the right frame of mind and I needed to talk now. I needed to get everything off of my mind and Dean looked at me sadly as the tears started to roll down my cheeks again.

"Baby, I didn't mean that." I told him softly, my voice cracking. "I _do _need you…and I don't _want _to go to school. I just feel like you want me to go hunt with you but you don't really because you won't let me do anything, and I feel like I'm going to take this out on like the first person who crosses me."

Dean nodded and pulled me down on his lap me in my bra and jeans because I had been trying to change. He kissed me and he stroked my hair, nodding and kissing me more as I cried a little because the kiss felt so wonderful and yet I was kind of happy and my mother was gone and I felt bad. Had this been how Dean had felt after John had died? Because I understood why he turned the sex down now…I would too right now.

"I wish I could make your pain go away." Dean whispered his forehead to mine.

I nodded and took a shaky breath. "I wish it would just go away."

"A hunt will get your mind off of things." He told me, trying to change the subject. "After the funeral tomorrow morning…head out with me and Sammy?"

"Okay…I think I can do that." I said resting my head in the crook of his neck and letting him hold me close. "I think I can do that."

xxxx

Mom's funeral was harder on me than on anyone else. When she actually got buried, I had an episode. My eyes glowed yellow and I got violent—I had to buy a new television, because I broke mine—like it shattered. Then, if it wasn't enough that Mom was being buried, that afternoon Kalli's organs began to fail so Sam called Bobby and had _him_ take the case instead. I visited her everyday after school—Dean and I had both decided that I needed my mind off of things, so he drove me there and picked me up—he even met Ryan—let me tell you now, he didn't like Ryan.

"She's going to be fine. She'll wake up and have a full recovery." Paige told me one afternoon while Dean grabbed me some coffee.

I just kissed Kalli's limp hand. "If only I was that lucky in life."

Ryan rested his hand on my back and rubbed it, and I smiled a little because they cared so much. At the same time it was awkward that he was touching me and I was honestly _so _relieved when Dean showed up. I smiled a little when Ryan's hand shot off of my back and Dean kissed the top of my head.

"How's she doing?" Dean asked me, sitting in the chair as I got up and then sat on his lap cuddling into him.

I shook my head. "We've all said our 'goodbyes'…sound familiar?"

"Baby, you can't think like that." Dean whispered softly.

"I don't know what _else_ to think." I told him dismally.

He and I got up and went to the waiting room where Sam was still holding Kate to him, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead. I hadn't really taken the time lately to look at the two of them closely but even if Sam wasn't really understanding what was going on—and he should because he wasn't stupid—Kate was _definitely_ into Sam…or at least _I_ was pretty damn sure that she was.

Before I could even bring it up with Dean though, the monitors began to beep, and a nurse ran in, followed by a couple other nurses and a couple doctors. Dean and I watched by the door, Kate, Annie and I huddled together, the tears coming. It was even worse when the doctor pronounced her dead and told us the time of death, Sam holding Kate close as she turned into him, crying into his chest.

It felt like everyone around me was being picked off, one by one, and to make it worse, Jen told me my episodes were getting worse. This time I wrecked the basement. Dean stood by my the whole way through and held my hand at Kalli's funeral, kissing the top of my head. Afterwards we went home and I decided I was definitely going with the boys hunting because I couldn't do this anymore. I was no longer going to be some target.

I went to go and check on Annie because I knew that in all of this she was wishing that Sam was there to comfort her. I had comforted Kate a little bit, but mostly Sam was taking care of that and I thought they were cute. Annie held me close to her and stroked my hair but something was different…something was off. She felt me tensing up, pulled away and whispered an incantation, sending me flying across the room, all the air going out of me before I blacked out.

When I woke up in the hospital, I sighed a bit—honestly wasn't the hospital getting to be such a damn redundant place? Dean was sitting next to my bed, and he kissed my hand, smiling at me and stroking me hair as I woke up. I smiled a little too and squeezed his hand, making a face because honestly my head felt pretty sore—damn wall making contact with it!

"You, my love, are in hospitals way too often." He whispered to me.

"Did you just seriously say, 'my love'?" I asked him, raising my eyebrows. "How hard did I hit my head?"

He laughed and rolled his eyes. "At least your personality is still intact."

"Where's Sammy? Annie? Kate?" I asked then.

"Sammy's getting coffee with Kate and checking with the doctor's about checking you our and Annie…haven't seen her now that you mention it." Dean pondered.

I sighed loudly. "Well figures—she's the one that did this to me."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath when Dean asked me if I was sure and I tried to think. First Mom was killed, then Kalli died, and now…now Annie was evil or something? Why in the world had she just snapped like that and done that? Did she have a reason? Did she have a switch too? What? What in God's name was going on around here these days and why?

"This has been the worst month of my very short second life." I told Dean, opening up my eyes.

Dean shrugged a little. "I wouldn't say _worst_."

I gave him a look. "No? My mother is dead, my cousin is dead, my sister is off God knows where doing God knows what and—"

"—we're pregnant." Dean told me.

I stopped talking and looked directly at him my mouth agape, a smile on Dean's face and I felt my heart start to beat faster. Wait a minute…how could that be? I mean yeah…we'd had sex a month ago—and sure after that and even to try and make me feel better with all the bad stuff happening lately—but we wouldn't even be able to hear a heartbeat for a week or two more so why get my hopes up? What the Hell? How did he even know?

"What?" I asked him softly, and I knew it was barely audible.

Dean scooted his chair closer to me. "When the doctor was going over your charts I mentioned that we'd been trying and he took a blood sample and you're definitely showing 'high levels of hCG' as he put it. So…we're baking cookies."

"But…but…our baby's so tiny we can't even hear a heartbeat yet." I told him, my eyes glues on my stomach, and my free hand on it now. "That means it's all new and still and embryo and—how many days? Did he say?"

"You're suddenly all excited." Dean said with a smile on his face. "Based off of the information I gave him about our sex lives, he's thinking three weeks so around 21 days."

I laughed a little. "Wow…it's still an embryo. I probably won't show any signs for a good like…two or three weeks. Are you sure? Or are you just telling me this to make me feel better? It will be another three days about depending on when the cookies started baking in my uterus for a pregnancy test to read the most accurately."

"That's why it's called a _blood _test." Dean told me. "I mean we're going to have to come back to make sure since I don't know anything about your cycles, but the doctor is pretty sure, Lanni."

I just stared at him and then smiled, pulling on his hand and kissing him when he brought his lips to mine. He knew what I wanted and though my hopes were up and we weren't sure, we kissed anyway. He ran his fingers through my hair and then rest his hand on my stomach and stroked it with his thumb making me pull back and look him in the eye.

"And you're sure about all of this? Because everything is different and I am _not_ going to just sit around while you and Sam hunt. I'm going with you." I told him.

Dean nodded and rested his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. "I know…you're a stubborn piece of work."

"I'm taking that as a compliment." I said with a smile, kissing him again.

The doctor came in and said I was good to go but to come back to check on the potential baby, and I nodded. Then the boys and I packed up to get ready to go, me looking up abruptly as Sam and Dean got in and Kate tossed a duffle into the car. I looked at her and she shrugged a little and I reached out to take he hand, looking her in the eye.

"I'm coming with you." She told me decidedly.

I raised my eyebrows. "What? Really?"

"Yeah…" Kate said nodding.

"I _knew_ you liked, Sammy!" I said excitedly.

She reached over and covered my mouth with her hand. "Shut-up! He'll _hear_ you!"

"Dean will sing about it, so…my lips are sealed." I told her with a smile and I pointed to the car. "Besides…after all the family drama, I'd like to have you around."

Kate smiled at me and got into the car, me telling the boys that it was going to be the four of us. Dean just nodded and Sam smiled and I looked from Kate to Sam, to Kate and laughed a little when Kate punched me in the arm and told me to cut it out. I put my hands up in surrender and then looked at Dean and he nodded at me—until we were sure, we weren't going to tell _anyone_ about the baby.

xxxx

When we got to the motel, I actually smiled—I had never been this happy to see a run-down place as much before. It felt like the old times even though we had Kate now and I realized suddenly that I'd _never _hunted with Kate before…_ever_. This was going to be fun though because it would be nice to see love blossom for Sam…and with my favorite cousin no doubt. Even so…I missed Annie and Sam and Dean missed working with just each other, but we didn't mind this foursome arrangement either.

"Kate? Sammy? I think you left your appetite at the diner around the block. You must be so hungry you'll be there for an hour—maybe two." Dean told them and I turned to him and gave him a look as Sam laughed.

I took Dean's hand. "Let them settle in at least."

"No it's fine." Kate replied, stepping close to Sam—oh, I saw how it was: she wanted alone time with Sam.

"You're smooth." Sam told Dean, and then left the motel with Kate.

I rolled my eyes and sat on the bed I'd claimed, opening up my laptop and looking up at Dean as he cleared his throat. It was kind of cute that he wanted to be with me and sleep together and have some fun, but I wanted to check in on Jen. She had Kevin to lean on even though he was annoyed she'd done the ritual to bring me back to life, but at the same time she felt bad about the deaths too.

"I didn't get him out of here so you could play Nancy Drew." Dean said, unbuttoning his buttons.

I smiled up at him. "I think Sam left because Kate wanted to spend time with him. You know eventually we may have to leave to give _them _the motel room."

"Really?" Dean asked me. "I think they left cause they didn't want to listen to us go at it. If we want that baby, we need to keep going."

"Cause we're normally _so_ loud." I told him rolling my eyes.

Dean got onto the bed with me, and wrapped his arms around me, pushing my hair off of my shoulder and lowering the sleeve. I leaned back into him, and he ran his hangs along my arms, resting his head on my shoulder. He was cute, and I adored him and after one e-mail, I'd do _whatever_ it was that he wanted me to do.

"I miss my mother." I told him. "I miss her and Kalli _so_ much. Hell, I even miss Chelsea."

I turned around and resituated us so that I was on top of Dean and I kissed him softly. He had no idea why I was suddenly being very affectionate, especially after saying all that stuff about missing my mother and my best friend, and my cousin. It just felt like I was bringing us down and I sighed a little when Dean pulled back and looked me in the eye, stroking my hair.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked, and he looked me in the eye as I shook my head.

"I'm the reason Chelsea got turned, and the reason Jen was attacked by Hell Hounds and forced into early labor, Mom's dead, my Dad's the demon, Kalli's organs failed, I lost her, Annie's having bouts of evilness—I can't help feeling that most of this is my fault, Dean." I explained to him.

Dean shook his head. "It's not your fault, Lanni."

"I died and they felt the need to bring me back." I told him and when he gave me a look I nodded and then shook my head. "Hey, you wanna know what I found out when I came back?"

"What?" Dean asked me.

Honestly there was _one_ good thing about getting my memories back slowly—it meant that some things I forgotten before had come back to me and I smiled. There was definitely a bigger plan set in place here because when Sam and I had met at the wake…it hadn't been our first meeting. I didn't want to show Dean without Sam there though, so I bit my lip.

"Let's wait for Sam." I told him.

Dean nodded slowly. "Okay…then in the mean time can we do what I got Kate and Sam out of the motel for?"

"Baby, we can do that later, I want to show this to you now." I whispered, kissing him softly. "Hey! Hands!"

"I think we both know that I'm a lot quicker than you are." Dean told me nodding with that cheeky look on his face.

When I gave him a look and said 'Dean Winchester' in a warning tone, he sighed and he let me call Sam. He and Kate came straight back to the motel and I drew a ring that Kate helped me with and we all stood in it. Then I muttered an incantation and the four of us felt our bodies being pulled a little bit and the scenery changed.

I had once been scared about using my powers, but my mother had explained to me that I needed to get used to them. If I was in control of myself, then my father couldn't be and that was important, so this was a good start. I was showing him a memory that had been brought back by something Jen had said, and we saw a little me on a swing-set with a little Jen and I smiled and pointed.

"That's me." I told them.

Sam smiled at me. "You're cute."

"Yeah, I was adorable back then." I said with a small laugh.

"And who are those two strapping boys?" Kate asked with a smile on her face.

Kate was pointing out _exactly_ what I wanted the boys to see and Dean's eyes lit up a little and he looked at me. Once Sam, Dean and I had all attended the same school—well _Sam_ and I had once attended the same school, and Dean had gotten out of the Impala to go and pick up his little brother. I looked at Sam and our eyes met and I knew he had a _lot_ of questions and I only had _some_ answers.

"Lance had a class with you." I told Sam. "I never knew cause he didn't realize it until I told him about the memory."

"You were ten." Dean mused, looking at Sam and then he looked at me. "Then you, Lanni—you were nine, right?"

I nodded at that. "And you were fourteen, now keep watching."

As we watched, a boy came over and started to pick on Jen, but I stood up for her and got right up in the boy's face—Jen wasn't as strong at nine as she was now. The boy punched me in the face, and then Dean came over and knocked the boy down on the ground. Sam told Dean to stop, and the bully ran off, and Dean asked if I was okay and I just waved it off and walked away, Jen following me.

"We never even—wow." Sam said softly. "Jen and I were both bullied and it started at a young age."

Kate smiled up at him. "Yeah but now you're all kickass."

"You really stood up to that bully." Dean told me, squeezing my hand.

"Yeah—that was the first time I was saved though so…thanks, Dean." I smiled at him. "Amazingly enough, none of us thought anymore of it. You and Sam left the school and never came back, and the bully's mother got involved when I told Bethany about what had happened and _she _got involved."

Dean nodded, and then I took him down the street and we ended up at my house, and I took them inside, the people inside moving rather fast, because I was speeding things up. When it was dark and I was in bed, Bethany and Marcus sat down next to my bed and smiled at me and I knew what was coming. There was another thing I wanted to show them and I definitely had a point here.

"What story tonight, Princess?" Marcus asked and Bethany showed me two different books—Hans Christian Anderson, and Grimm Brothers.

"Nice choices." Sam said with a smile.

I nodded slowly. "Now which one do you think I pick?"

"Hans." Sam said as little Lana said the same thing.

"That was kinda cute." Dean told Sam, and I laughed.

"_**Little Mermaid**_." Little Lana begged.

Mom nodded and Dean and Sam stood there with me as we listened to the story. In the Hans Christian Anderson version, the prince is saved by the little mermaid but he sees this princess instead when he wakes up and then the princess disappears. The little mermaid falls for the prince from afar and in return for legs, she has her tongue cut out and every step she takes on land feels like shards of glass but she becomes the most graceful creature regardless. The prince even wants to marry her, but the princess shows up and since the prince thinks the _princess _saved his life, he marries her instead. Then the only way for the little mermaid to live is to kill the prince, but she loves him too much, and dies, destined to be foam on the water for a thousand years before her spirit could move on.

"You were a morbid little girl." Dean told me as we listened.

"I thought it was beautiful, even at nine." I told him. "I mean she gave up her own life for the man she loved because he was happy and that was all that mattered to her."

Sam smiled at me. "I think it's beautiful too."

"What's that?" Dean asked as my parents left my room and it was just us watching little Lana snuggle into her covers.

We looked at the window and I nodded, little Lana's eyes open, but she was too scared to turn over. Now I knew why—my father was standing outside my window…my _biological_ father, the yellow-eyed demon. He smiled a little, and then his eyes glowed before the real world came crashing back and I took a deep breath.

"What happened?" Dean asked me.

"I don't have that much power, Dean. I have to moderate it out." I explained to him.

Dean looked at me. "You looked so scared."

"I couldn't look, and now I know why." I told them. "I mean not only did we meet up years ago, but my father has always had a plan for me…I just need to know what that plan is so I can counter-act it."

"That's certainly what it seems like." Sam agreed with. "Let's—let's just be careful about all of this, okay? Promise me?"

I smiled at him and Kate shifted uncomfortably. "I promise, Sammy."

xxxx

_I was lying on my back in the grass during lunch one day, under a beautifully blossomed cherry tree, and Dean was lying on his stomach next to me, one hand propping his head up as he listened to me read Shakespeare's '__**As You Like It**__'__ to him, and the other hand running along my stomach under my t-shirt._

"_All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages. At first the infant, mewling and puking in the nurse's arms, and then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel and shining morning face, creeping like a snail unwillingly to school. And then the lover, sighing like a furnace, with a woeful ballad made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier, full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard, jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel, seeking the bubble reputation even in the canon's mouth, and then the justice, in fair round belly with good capon lined, with eyes severe and beard of formal cut, full of wise saws and modern instances; and so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon, with spectacles on nose and pouch on side, his youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide for his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice, turning again toward childish treble, pipes and whistles in his sound. Last scene of all, that ends this strange eventful history, is second childishness and mere oblivion, sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything." I read to him._

"_You read his words so beautifully." Dean said, nuzzling his nose against my cheek._

_I smiled at him. "Thank you."_

"_Let's go to a different one in that '__**Complete Works**__' of yours. Like one of the tragedies or romances." He said, kissing my neck swiftly, making me giggle._

"'_**As You Like It**__' could be considered a romance but yeah, it's a comedy." I told him and then jumped. "Hey! You __**know**__ I'm ticklish there."_

"_All the more reason to listen to me—we've read this one before." He said, kissing my neck swiftly again._

_I sighed loudly. "Okay. Okay—as much as I __**hate**__ it…__Romeo and Juliet__ it is."_

_Honestly I really __**did **__hate '__**Romeo and Juliet**__' because I thought that the whole story was kind of disturbing—man says he'll never fall in love again, then finds an attractive __**much **__younger girl and then when things go wrong for them, they kill themselves…yeah what part of that is in __**any**__ way, romantic? Still, I flipped through my '__**Complete Works of William Shakespeare**__', and found __Romeo and Juliet__, flipping through to Act One, Scene Five—the only part I even kind of liked._

"_Is this the party?" Dean asked, looking at the book a little._

_I nodded at him. "Definitely the best part—well except for them taking themselves out of the gene pool."_

"_Well aren't __**you**__ feisty?" Dean asked me with a chuckle, and then without looking at the book, he started to quote it. "If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."_

"_Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hands too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss." I told him, looking him in the eye._

"_Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?" His fingers slipped from my stomach to my side, and he rested his hand there, under my t-shirt._

_I gazed into his eyes. "Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer."_

"_O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair." He said, scooting a little closer to me._

"_Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake." I said softly._

"_Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take. Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged." Dean said, leaning close to my face, his lips brushing across mine and then kissing me softly._

"_Then have my lips the sin that they have took." I whispered as our lips slowly parted and we looked each other in the eye._

"_Sin from thy lips?" Dean asked, his lips brushing across mine as he spoke. "O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again."_

_I nodded slowly as he kissed me again, and I set the book on the ground, closing it, and then resting my hand on the nape of his neck and running my thumb along the bottom of his cheek. It was the longest kiss we had ever shared, and I didn't want it to end, but it did, and I opened my eyes and smiled at him as he ran his nose along mine._

"_You kiss by the book." I whispered softly._

_He chuckled a little. "Interesting we have that part memorized even though you hate the story so much."_

"_Yeah, but we always revert to that because you won't let me read the __**good**__ stuff." I reminded him and he shrugged. "We've done that for the last week and Shakespeare comes easily."_

_Dean leaned down to kiss me again, but just as our lips met, Sam called us. We both reluctantly pulled away, and then got up, and I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and fixed my shirt, and then Dean picked up my book and handed it to me. I smiled, kissing him swiftly, and then we both grasped hands, our fingers entwining, before the demon showed up and his eyes flashed yellow._

I turned over in the bed, after my eyes opened suddenly, and I ran my fingers through Dean's hair. I was so thankful for him, and for some reason, that dream was making me feel naughty even though I really _did_ hate _**Romeo and Juliet**_. I kept thinking dirty things about him…it was the Shakespeare talking—or rather _him_ in the dream _speaking_ Shakespeare that was doing it.

"Dean." I whispered, turning over to check and see if Kate was sleeping, and she wasn't there.

Sam had opted to take the couch and let Kate have the other bed, and I thought it was sweet—he was being the gentleman. Still, I was certain that sooner or later, one of them was going to take the relationship a little further, and then it would just be two couples hunting demons. Odd, but that was how it would go if Kate or Sam would just own up to liking each other.

"I'm sleeping." Dean replied, and turned over.

"Yeah?" I asked, running my hands along his sides.

"Sleeping." He repeated, but I could tell he was smirking.

I smiled and then I nibbled on his ear, smirking at his moaning sound. Then I got out of bed and went to the door as he turned over and propped himself up on his elbows. He was giving me a look that I knew all too well and it was really making me grin.

"You have my attention." He told me.

I nodded, and stepped out of the room, looking at Sam eating Cheerios with Kate on the couch. They were talking to each other and smiling and laughing and I was _really_ glad that Sam had a companion. As bad as I _still_ felt about making Sam get out every time Dean and I wanted to take things to a physical level, now Sam had someone to spend time with and they enjoyed each other's company.

"I'm taking Dean into the shower." I warned them, and they nodded.

"I'm just going to eat my Cheerios and look things up on my laptop with Kate." Sam said, and I smiled at them and then shut the bedroom door and went to the bathroom, wiggling my finger at Dean.

"Come hither." I told him.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Where is this coming from?"

I just smiled and shrugged, knowing that he was going to keep asking questions even though I knew he wasn't complaining. It was something to jump at and _that_ was what he was _supposed_ to be doing right now. I mean were we or were we _not_ trying to make sure that we were having a baby?

"I had a dream you were talking Shakespeare, and it made me hot for you." I admitted with a quick nod. "I am just…so hot for you right now."

Dean smirked at me. "Yeah, cause I can speak Shakespeare."

"You could if you tried, but that's not the point." I laughed loudly. "The point is that you have to join me in the shower."

"I can do that." Dean replied quickly.

I smirked when Dean came into the bathroom with me, and I pulled my shirt off over my head, and then stepped out of my pajama pants, while Dean undressed himself as well. I turned the water on, and once it was the right temperature, I stepped in, Dean following right behind me, and his lips collided with mine as the water ran down our naked bodies. This was just another thing for us and honestly in all the getting acquainted with each other again, we hadn't _once_ tried the shower and here was our chance.

"I miss this." I told him. "I miss our old playful selves."

Dean smiled and stroked my now wet hair. "I miss our old playful selves too. Now let me delegate this encounter this time, all right?"

"All right, but I've already got us in here." I said with a smirk. "What more is there to do I ask you?"

Dean ran his hand down from my hair to my sternum, and ran his knuckles along my collarbone. "There's a lot more to do."

I kissed him, and wrapped my arms around him, my fingers running along his back as he bit my bottom lip softly. Our breathing changed as we ran our hands along each other's bodies, and then Sam knocked on the door, and we pulled away. It wasn't enough that Sam had to interrupt during the dream but he had to do it _now_ too?

"Yeah?" I asked, wishing Dean and I could continue.

"Dean, the phone's for you." Sam told him. "The man says it's really important."

"If it's important, you should get it." I told him, though I didn't want to.

Dean sighed loudly. "I'll be there in a minute."

"It's okay." I told him, sighing too. "We'll pick this up later."

**Note: So the next chapter is a fun episode and I can't wait to finish it and post it up. This was a good 22 pages and I hope you liked it! I need to stop telling you how many pages I've made you suffer through…Feedback is always appreciated!**


	48. Folsom Prison Blues

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay, this one was fun to write, and I hope you guys like it as much as I do.**

**I was gonna make you wait until the chapter after this one to find out about the baby, but since this one deals with jail and that means all sorts of fingerprinting and urine tests…yeah.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

"This way." Dean said as he, Sam, Kate and I walked around with flashlights—we had just gotten to Green River County, and I wasn't thrilled.

"I hate this plan, Dean." Sam told him and I had to nod—this plan bit the big one.

Dean sighed loudly. "Yeah, I got that the first ten times I heard it."

"Well we're just making sure you get it." Kate said with a shrug.

I smiled at her a little and I had to admit—having her around was _definitely_ worth every second. We were getting to bond more, and with my mother and her sister dying and then Annie taking off, we needed the closeness. Besides, she was keeping Sam happy and when Dean needed to be put in line, she helped us do just that. I looked around some more as Dean consulted the map, and I sighed.

"What?" I asked as he stopped and looked at me. "If I said that I hated this plan, you'd just come up with some snarky remark about how this is the eleventh time you've heard it so my lips are zipped."

Dean sighed too, and the four of us continued on and then found some old weapons, looking at them with our gloves on, and then we heard floorboards creaking. We walked out, looking for an exit, but we were cornered. Yeah…remember how we were all complaining that we hated this place?

"Freeze!" The men yelled, but we tried to get out anyway. "I said freeze! Put your hands behind your head and get down on your knees! Now!"

We knelt down, our hands behind our heads, and they came up and handcuffed us. Dean seemed a little happy, but Sam, Kate and I were not. We went with them to get our pictures taken, Sam looking solemn, Dean goofing around, and I actually smiled cause if I was gonna be arrested and get pictures taken, they were going to be cute—and Dean was cracking me up.

"I call this one the Blue Steel." He said, and pursed his lips, raising an eyebrow, looking sexy as ever.

"Now to the right. Okay, we're done, back to the line-up." The man said.

"Wait, wait. Who looks better? Me or Nick Nolte?" Dean asked.

"Shut-up." The man replied, but Dean wasn't phased.

I waited with Sam and Kate while the Fed talked to Dean, and I looked around a little, catching Sam reaching out to stroke Kate's hair. She was pretty upset and Sam was trying to comfort her and it was _adorable_! I put my hands on the table and I sighed loudly, Kate and Sam both looking at me, Sam's fingers still in Kate's hair.

"This is stupid." I told him.

Sam nodded quickly. "I agree. This was a very bad idea."

"Sam Winchester, Katelyn Newman and Alana Meckenzie?" A blonde woman asked coming in the door.

"We go by Kate and Lana, but yeah, that's us." I told her.

She smiled at us. "I'm Mara Daniels. I've been assigned your case."

"We appreciate that. Is that what we're supposed to say? I'm new to this whole, getting arrested thing." I told her, laughing awkwardly a little.

Honestly that was the truth—other than getting arrested that one time I kissed Sam and shouldn't have, I'd never gotten arrested. I kept myself out of trouble and off of the radar and I _liked_ it that way. Now we were going to get sent to a prison all for the sake of a hunt? Why? Why?

She smiled at me. "It's fine. Where is Dean?"

"In there." Sam said, pointing to the door, and she nodded and went in.

"I hope she's helpful." I told Sam.

Sam nodded, and after a few moments the woman came out and was followed by Dean, all of us being led into a room, Dean sitting close to me. He sent me a look because believe it or not before I had come with him, Sam and Kate, he and I had argued again. We didn't even know if I was pregnant or not and yet he was trying to get me to stay away from hunts but I needed to be near him to protect him and hey, I had powers…powers I needed to start using to stabilize myself.

"So how did you two end up with these two?" Mara asked as we shifted around and she got herself situated.

Kate shrugged a little. "Sam and I hit it off when we met and I decided to travel with them and that's really all."

"Kate's my cousin and I've been with Dean for like two years and so I introduced her to Sammy and it's been a party." I told her and then sighed. "Can we get on with the case? I really don't find how my relationship to them matters."

"She hasn't had coffee this morning." Dean said, smiling at Mara and then shooting me a look.

"Unfortunately, your arraignment on the breaking-and-entering trial won't be until Tuesday." She began, opening her briefcase.

Dean looked at her. "They'll keep us in the county jail?"

"That's right." She said.

"Green River County Detention Center?" Sam asked.

"Yes." She told him. "And considering the charges you guys are facing, no judge in his right mind would grant you bail—even if one of you is pregnant."

Sam, Dean and Kate all looked at me and I made a face—oh so, _I_ was the only one who could be pregnant here? I mean what about Kate? She was a girl too! Still I was getting super excited and yet I knew Dean was giving me that look—that, 'I was right you should have stayed behind where it was safe' look.

"Really?" I asked her.

"Yeah…you didn't know?" She asked me and nodded when I shook my head. "Extradition papers have already been filed from five different states—Missouri and Wisconsin are the biggest concern—the bank robbery and the murder raps."

I sighed loudly. "How long can we stall extradition?"

"A week." She replied. "Maybe less."

xxxx

The ride to Green River County Detention Center wasn't fun, I can tell you that much. There were no females except for me and Kate so thank God that meant we'd get a cell together. This wasn't a gender specific Detention Center, but there certainly were a lot of guys looking our way, and we didn't like it, so I scooted closer to Dean on the bus and Kate kept close to Sam. Sure we had powers, but these were big inmates who were probably lonely and horny…it was creepy.

"Okay, I am not liking this." I whispered to Dean. "That guy with all the tattoos is looking at me funny—like he's undressing me with his eyes."

"Hey, you—stop looking at her." Dean said, and the guy just flipped him off.

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, that was well played. With my luck, I'm not going to be in a cell with you guys _or_ Kate. I'll be with that tattooed guy and—wait. I forgot I'm a witch. Never mind, I'll be fine whatever happens."

Dean chuckled, and then the bus stopped and we got off, Dean, Sam, Kate and then me after a couple other guys, and the men started rattling the cages, and there were a few whistles cast our way. Honestly the whistles could have been meant for any of us. Dean was definitely attractive, as was Sammy with his doe eyes, and then there was Kate who was fiery and composed and I wasn't too bad myself.

"Yeah, this was an ingenious plan." Sam said, rolling his eyes.

"Don't worry, Sam, I promise I won't trade you for smokes." Dean told him as a man pointed to him and said he was his.

I shrugged a little. "You can trade me instead—I know magic."

Then we were silent, changing into the orange and being led to our cells, of which I was lucky enough to get Kate. Thank God this place was smart enough to understand that if you put an attractive girl in with a lonely man she's going to get raped. Not that Kate and I couldn't make force fields to protect ourselves, but the point was that we felt safe being stuck together in a cell. Then later we got to stand in a line and get frisked down, technically, on our way to get food. Dean seemed a little too excited, and Sam, Kate and I were just—well not as enthusiastic.

"My roommate doesn't say much, what about yours?" Dean asked us.

Sam looked at him. "Just keeps staring at me…in a way that makes me very uncomfortable."

"Mine grabbed my ass." I said with a shrug.

"Sounds like you're making new friends. Wait—what?" Dean asked.

Kate laughed and shrugged. "You heard what she said."

Sam chuckled at us as Kate and I laughed and rolled our eyes, Dean nodding and appraising the situation. The guy could make anything anyway he pleased and it was kind of fun to watch the wheels turn in his head. On the other hand, I wanted out of here as soon as possible because honestly it freaked me out to be in here.

"Dean…" Sam began, lowering his voice. "This is without a doubt, the dumbest, craziest thing we have ever done, and that's in a long, storied career of dumb and crazy."

"Calm down. It's all part of the plan." Dean told him nonchalantly.

Sam gave him a look. "Oh really? So Hendrickson showing up was part of the plan?"

I had to give him that—that Fed from the bank robbery was here which mean we had to watch ourselves. Hendrickson wanted us put away and for good, and I wanted out of here…especially since in the four days it took us to get here, my body had enough time to prove to me that I was pregnant. I wanted to be outside of prison walls in order to have a nice chance to celebrate.

"Yeah, that guy moves a little faster than I thought. But look, all we gotta do is find this ghost, put the sucker down, and grab ourselves a couple of those teardrop tattoos." Dean explained to him.

Kate gave him a look. "That's not funny."

"Dean, what about this escape plan?" Sam asked him.

"It's a one hundred percent sure thing. I wouldn't have gone in if it wasn't." Dean replied confidently. "Come on, this place has all the signs of haunting. Innocent people are dead—four people so far."

Sam chuckled and nodded. "Ah, yeah, innocent."

"What are you, from Texas all of a sudden? Just 'cause these people are in jail doesn't mean they deserve to die." Dean told him. "And if we don't stop this thing, people will continue to die. We do this job, wherever it takes us."

"Fine." I sighed. "I agree with you there."

Dean looked at me. "Oh, Baby, you aren't fighting this thing."

I looked at him and our eyes met and I wanted to argue with him about it but I knew where he was coming from. I was pregnant, and I shouldn't be running around putting myself in danger and I knew that. On the other hand, I was already in here and I wasn't leaving until they were, so where was the harm in killing a ghost while I was here?

"Look, Dean, just be straight with me all right?" Sam told Dean, catching the awkwardness in the air. "Are you doing this for…Deacon?"

Dean turned to him and nodded. "Damn right."

"But we barely even know the guy." Sam protested.

"We know he was in the Corps with Dad. We know he saved Dad's life. We know we owe him." Dean told him.

Sam nodded in agreement. "Yeah, all right, but don't you think he's asking a little much?"

"Doesn't matter." Dean replied. "We may not be Saints, but we're loyal, and we pay our debts. Now that means something to me, and it ought to mean something to you. I'm not thrilled about this either, man, but Deacon asked us to hunt this thing down. That's what we're gonna do."

I took a deep breath. "Fine, but this place doesn't have any coffee, and you know I get cranky without it."

Kate laughed a little and rested her hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze and smiling at me. She understood that all too well and she wanted her coffee fix too. That was another fun thing about having Kate along for the ride: she and I had so much in common that we were always on the same page and that was refreshing.

Dean chuckled and stroked my hair. "You know, I don't think this trip would be as great without you two."

"Of course it wouldn't." I told him with a laugh. "You wouldn't get along without your dose of Lana and Kate makes _everything_ more fun."

Dean chuckled again and then we finally got in to get some food and Sam sniffed his as I poked mine. It was prison food and though I was certain it was supposed to at least be somewhat substantial, it looked gray…ewwww. I definitely didn't want to _eat_ it, that was for sure but Kate and Dean were eating it.

"You know, this chicken isn't half bad." Dean told us.

Sam made a face. "Great. Finish mine."

"Come on, its food—it's better than starving to death." Kate explained to him.

He looked at her but pushed his plate toward Dean anyway and I looked up and caught the look Dean was giving me. What Kate had said had made sense to me and besides, I was eating for two now so it was best I eat and not starve. So I took a bite out of it and though it wasn't terrible, I would definitely not _choose _to eat this.

"Good, eh?" Dean asked me.

"I'm not jumping to good, but I'm jumping over terrible." I said making a face, and Dean smirked a little.

Kate looked at us. "Okay, let's go over this: spirit suspect number one is Mark Moody, right?"

"Yeah, psycho-killer extraordinaire—Satanism, ritual murderer—died in jail." Dean replied and then ate some more food.

"You sure it's him?" Sam asked him.

Dean nodded a little. "Pretty sure."

"Dean, considering our circumstances, I'm gonna need a little better than 'pretty sure'." Sam told him.

I nodded slowly. "I thought you were more than 'pretty sure' when you told me the plan."

"Really pretty sure." Dean said, and ate more.

The three of us looked at Dean as he shoved food in his mouth and gave him looks—oh how reassuring that had all sounded. Sam sighed and I took another bite of food as Kate did, making a face but swallowing it down since it wasn't the _worst_ thing I had ever tasted so I was toughing my way through it

"Look, Moody died of a heart attack, which is what all the victims in here are dying of. He died in the old cellblock which they closed off after he croaked thirty years ago. They just opened it back up, that's when the killings started." Dean explained, and feeling like he had satisfied us, went back to eating.

"So you think his spirit was released somehow?" Sam asked and Dean shrugged a little. "But what if he was already cremated?"

"There's prolly something in the old block that belongs to him that's keeping him around." I said, going off of Dean's story.

"And whatever it is, we gotta find it. You know the rest. I'm done." He said, wiping his hands together and talking with food in his mouth.

I smirked at him. "As gross as you are sometimes, I really want to jump you right now."

"Lan, we're in jail." Sam said softly.

"Don't make her change her mind, Sammy." Dean told him, and stepped closer to me as I stood up, one of the inmates walking by and grabbing my ass.

"Dean, don't." I told him, grabbing him by the chest of his orange uniform. "It's fine."

The last thing we needed right now was for a fight to get started—Dean was a little too cocky right now for his own good. Kate was laughing her ass off and Sam was smiling at her and Dean made a face at me.

"It is _not_ fine." Dean said firmly. "I'm the only one allowed to do that."

"Your plan, you suffer the side affects." I replied, and leaned in a bit. "You don't think they'll hit us with those sticks if I kiss you, do you?"

Dean smirked and shrugged. "I dunno."

I nodded and made a big show about thinking about it which made Dean let out a playful sigh and I smiled. I kissed him swiftly, and then pulled away, letting go of him just in case because as much as I loved him…I didn't wanna get hit with a stick.

"I still love you." I told him.

He smiled, and then started to walk off, me following, and Sam behind me, until Sam and another guy touched shoulders. Okay, no, they ran into each other and even though it was an accident, everyone in here was just so…angry. Kate made a noise first, and I turned to see that things could potentially end badly…

"I—I'm sorry." Sam told him.

The man looked at Sam angrily. "Watch where you're going."

"He really is sorry." Kate said with a smile, standing next to Sam.

The man just glared at Sam and as I swallowed, trying to assess the situation, Dean walked up to him. I sighed loudly and Kate made a face and then closed her eyes and shook her head. He just wanted to be in the action, and sure it was prolly part of his plan, but did he really _have_ to handle it like this?

"He said he was sorry." Dean said firmly.

"Dean…" Sam and I chastised.

"You talkin' to me?" The man looked at Dean. "I said are you talkin' to me?"

Dean looked back at Sam, Kate and I a little. "Great, another man who's seen 'Taxi Driver' too many times. Yeah, I'm talking to you. Trust me…let it go."

"Dean, come on." Sam said, and I took Dean's hand.

"See, that's how you gotta talk to these guys." Dean said, and smirked. "Instant respect."

I looked over his shoulder. "Or, that's how you make enemies."

"You were saying?" Sam asked him, and Dean looked to see the man getting another big man to stand up.

"Oh, great." Dean replied, and the man punched him in the face.

"Not the face! He's pretty!" I said, and Sam took my arm and I realized I should prolly shut-up.

Kate snickered though and sidled up next to me as Dean and the man fought. Eventually a guard came over and broke then apart, putting his stick under Dean's chin. We get arrested, come into a jail to have fun with inmates, and then Dean gets into a fight and then gets into trouble. Yeah…best plan ever…not the sarcasm.

"What's your name?" The guard asked Dean.

Dean looked him in the eye. "Winchester."

"Hello, Winchester. Not a good start." The guard said, and then took the stick away. "Solitary. You too, Lucas."

"Are we having fun yet, huh?" Dean asked as they started to take him away and while Sam didn't look happy with him, Kate saluted him.

I sighed and waved a little. "I'll miss you while you're gone, Baby." I told him.

"You too, Babe." He replied with a chuckle, and then I saw one of the men point at Sam and do the whole, 'you're dead' thing, so I took his arm as Kate took the other one.

"You want me to make you a force field too? Cause I can for a while." Kate offered.

Sam smiled a little. "You two hanging out with me and Dean is going to get us beaten up and you know it."

"It might." I told him with a shrug. "Or, it might get you a bit of respect. We _are_ the only females in this place, and if they beat you guys up, you really think Kate and I would run off to them for support?"

"Absolutely not and they'd know that." Kate replied with a smile.

Sam just chuckled at the thought. "You two are something else."

We smiled and nodded, then when it was time to be put in our cells, Kate and I bartered out the bunk—I got the top one. The two of us lay there and were silent for a little while but then we both knew that we had things to say. The best part was that we spoke up at the same time—such an us thing to do.

"I like Sam." Kate told me as I said, "I'm pregnant."

We both laughed and then I turned on my side and ran my fingers along my stomach through the orange jumpsuit, telling Kate to go first. Honestly, I was more excited to hear about Kate's feelings for Sam than I was to talk about having a baby in a jail cell. I mean I was excited—I was _beyond _ecstatic, but I was also scared and I felt like I needed to talk to _Dean _about my fears here first…he deserved that much and more.

"I just…how cold you ever stop dating him?" Kate asked me.

I laughed. "Because I was already falling for Dean when Sam and I tried to make something work. He was still in pain over losing Jessica, and though it took me a while to admit it, I was hurting because I felt like Dean could never love—never commit…I was wrong."

"Well…I'm thinking about telling him." Kate explained to me. "You know…be pro-active because in this line of work you never know when you're going to drop dead."

"I love you, Kate." I told her in the small silence that followed when we thought about Mom and Kalli.

She took a shaky breath but managed a strong, "I love you too, Lana."

xxxx

When I woke up in the morning, Kate was already up and I smiled at her—we were both looking forward to having our recreation time. Not only that, but I wanted to see how Dean was since he'd spent the night in solitary and I missed not sleeping next to him. That was definitely the _worst _part about this whole plan for me—I missed sleeping next to Dean. Besides, we hadn't even properly celebrated the baby yet and he didn't get to hold me, his hand on my stomach.

Dean was playing poker with the boys while I sat on the ground and twisted the ring on my finger. I looked up as he kept winning, and then saw Sam and smiled, then looked around and felt creeped out again. All the staring, though I would normally love it, was not making me feel good this time and Kate was shifting uncomfortably too because she didn't like all the eyes on us either.

"It's like picking low-hanging fruit." Dean said happily.

"You don't even smoke." Sam told him.

Dean chuckled at that. "You kidding? This is the currency of the realm."

Kate pointed over towards the men playing basketball and shrugged a little, the two of us making eye contact. Actually, it made sense that we go and talk to them and so I nodded and I stood up. She still hadn't told Sam yet, but we were trying to finish this hunt first and I understood that, so I stood up and started over towards the basketball game with Kate and Dean's voice caught me.

"Whoa, whoa. You're not going over there without me. Not after what happened yesterday in the mess hall." Dean told me.

"I can take care of myself." I smiled as I turned to look at him, my hair up in a ponytail, and moved my bangs out of my eyes. "Besides Kate's with me and we're witches. It sucks that Lucas died in solitary last night, Dean, but Kate and I are actually going to do some work while you have your fun. Plus, tattoo guy will do anything I tell him to do."

Kate laughed and nodded. "Yeah, he makes it clear every time he walks by her."

"He touch you?" Dean asked angrily.

"Dean…focus on Sam." I said, and smiled, because I knew what Sam was going to say—he had a plan to get into Moody's old cell.

"There's the Sammy I know." Dean told him. "Come on, man, you're like Clint Eastwood in 'Escape From Alcatraz'."

Sam nodded a little and shrugged. "The problem is even if we do find something, how are we gonna burn it? We don't have any accelerant."

"Good thing I'm like James Garner from 'The Great Escape'." Dean said, and grabbed some cigarettes, standing up. "Hey fellas! Who's ready to deal?"

I smiled at how adorable my man was and then Kate and I went to the basketball hoop and the guy with the tattoos from before looked at me then bobbed his head in the direction of Dean. I glanced back at Dean and then looked directly at the man in front of me and just smiled and shrugged as his eyes asked me questions.

"You belong to him?" The man asked me.

I shrugged. "I don't really _belong_ to anyone, but I _could_ belong to _you_ if you beat _him_ at cards."

"What about you?" He asked Kate.

"I belong to the tall one he's with." Kate replied with a shrug. "Still, I'm always open to suggestion."

I smiled at her and then I smirked at the men. "So who's gonna let me be on their team?"

Kate and I leaned against each other and just grinned, flipping our hair a little and nodding as the men reacted. A couple of them smirked at us too, and then we picked teams and shot a few hoops, asking them questions as we played but not getting anything. Then it was time to eat so we went back to Sam and Dean and stood in line to get something to eat.

"You sure about this?" Dean asked Sam, referring to the plan as we got our food.

Sam nodded. "Pretty sure."

"Considering the circumstances, I'd like a little better than 'pretty sure'." Dean told him and I smiled.

"Okay—really pretty sure." Sam replied, and walked away setting his food down, and Kate and I sat down and ate a little.

We were hungry, and we looked up at Sam as he just stood there, the three of us waiting for Dean to start the fight. The plan was to get enough of a distraction for Sam, Kate and I to get to the old cell block, and I was trying to get some food in me before we went. I mean I wasn't _that _much hungrier than normal, but I could _definitely _eat and that was really all that mattered.

When the fight began, Sam, Kate and I hurried off to the old cell block, and Sam complained a bit on the way there. He wasn't happy that I was potentially putting myself in danger when I was pregnant, but honestly we _were already in the freaking jail_! Besides, he was making this _way_ too easy for me to mess with him and though Kate wanted him, _she_ even found my picking on Sam entertaining.

"This is actually kind of fun. If we were still in our little bit of foreplay-relationship, I'd totally ravage you." I said as we got to the cell block and Sam set the old blood on fire.

Sam scoffed at me. "Right."

"No…really." I told him. "I think my old self is resurfacing. I feel more alive and playful. Don't worry though—I won't take advantage of you."

"That was totally reassuring." Sam told me laughing.

"Kate could ravage you though." I shrugged and grinned. "Let's get back before I change my mind. That was a joke. Laugh, Sam. It's good for the soul."

"My brother has rubbed off on you _way_ too much." Sam said, and we headed back.

"Wait, so you're telling me it wasn't Moody?" Sam asked Dean.

I sighed as Dean said that the ghost was of an old nurse, and he and Dean argued. Sam wanted out tonight, and to tell you the truth, so did I. Kate and I had both talked about it while we were in our cell and we were done—done with the death, done with the inmates grabbing us inappropriately, and I was done not being able to wake up in Dean's arms—I was done with jail. Never wanted to come back. Wanted to just—wanted out of this orange jumper because orange though I could somewhat pull it off, was the one color I hated so I wanted out of it.

"I called Deacon. It's happening. We're getting out tonight." Sam told Dean.

"We better do some fast research then." Dean said.

I scoffed at that. "How?"

"If you haven't noticed, Dean, we're in jail." Sam told him.

"Well ask someone about her." Kate said with a shrug. "You have the currency."

Then Kate pointed towards the guys playing basketball and I nodded at her—they had to have _some_ information didn't they? It was _always_ worth a shot and since we were crunching time right now, we needed to do whatever it was that we could, so we started to head for the hoops.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked me.

I shrugged playfully. "I'm off to do research of my own."

Dean shot me a look. "If you—"

"—I'm not going to play with them—in that sense. I'm yours, you have me, I'm not running away anywhere." I told him, and went off to see if any of my 'basketball buddies' could give me anything—they couldn't.

Fortunately for Kate and I—we were glad to not have to flirt our way into anything anymore—Sam and Dean had better luck. So the four of us sat at a table in the Mess Hall and tried to piece all of it together. Once we knew exactly what we were up against we could finish this hunt and get the Hell out of this jail.

"Okay, let's say those stories about Glockner were true." Sam said with a nod.

Dean nodded in agreement. "It's a thought. In life she's a vigilante, in death, same thing."

"Right, but how is she tied in with the old cell block?" I asked him.

"And if she's going after cons, why kill that one guard?" Sam added.

"I did hear in the yard that the guard wasn't squeaky clean. So maybe she goes after anyone who breaks the law—like me." Dean tried, and I ran my thumb along his hand as he held it.

"You heard in the yard?" Sam asked.

"Yeah." Dean replied with a shrug.

Sam scoffed lightly. "Dean, does it bother you at all how easily you seem to fit in here?"

"No, not really." Dean replied almost immediately.

"Either way, we need more info on Glockner. How she died. If she was buried, and where." Kate reminded us.

She was right—we still had information to figure out and we didn't have much time to do it in since we were supposed to be leaving tonight. I wanted out of here, Kate wanted out, Sam did…but Dean didn't seem to. Yeah, it was all part of our plan, but at the same time I had a feeling that he wanted to stay if we couldn't figure it out and that was a little disconcerting to me.

"And we've got five hours to get it." Sam said, and Dean gave him a look. "No, no. Don't give me that look. Don't give me that 'we gotta see this thing through' look. We are leaving tonight, no matter what."

"I just don't want to let Deacon down." Dean told him. "We do owe him."

Sam gave Dean a look. "But we don't owe him our lives, Dean."

"I agree with Sam on that one." Kate explained with a shrug. "I'm glad to help, but I don't owe Deacon shit."

"Where are you going?" Sam asked Dean as he got up.

"I'm going to go talk with our lawyer." Dean explained. "And if that doesn't work—Lanni's going to."

I looked up. "Why me?"

"You soften people up." He replied with a shrug.

I just smiled and nodded, and then Sam, Kate and I sat around talking about random things. At first we had talked about the case, but with nothing to go on, we had gotten sucked into talking about Kate and I holding up, and how we had to get out because I was pregnant, and then Dean showed back up out in the yard and we walked over to him.

"Did she go for it?" Sam asked him.

Dean shook his head. "No, no, not so much. But, uh, maybe she'll come around."

"We can't wait around to find out." Sam said his hands in his pockets.

"We could give it another day." Dean suggested.

"No, no, no. We're leaving tonight, and that's it." Kate told him.

Dean sighed loudly. "So we're not gonna finish the job. We're just gonna let these people die?"

I rubbed my temples and swallowed because I got that they needed to fight but there was so much in his voice that was telling me he was serious. I understood his loyalty here, and I got it, and I was proud of him, but we _had_ to get out of here. This was not where I wanted to hang out and be pregnant, thanks.

"Don't give me that." Sam told him. "This was your stupid plan. Kate, Lan and I went along with it, but we're sticking to the plan, Dean. Your fiancée is pregnant, and she needs to be gotten out of here."

Dean looked at me and stroked my hair. "Okay, you leave. I'm gonna stay."

"Hell, no, you're not." I told him as he started to walk away.

"Don't turn away—don't turn away from me." Sam called after him.

Dean turned back a little. "Screw you."

"What?" Sam asked, grabbing Dean by the shoulder. "Screw you!"

Kate made a noise when Dean pushed him and they started to fight. The other inmates were watching and I knew that Kate and I had to play our parts. She yelled at them to cut it out and I got in between them, one hand on each other their chests.

"Peace and love, people! Peace and love!" I said, and then the guards showed up. "Oh come on, let them deal with it themselves. They're brothers. It happens."

"All right hard case, come with me. Those three, too." The guard from before said, and I protested as I got dragged away in handcuffs.

Kate wasn't too happy about the handcuffs either, and when we got into the room with the two guards, I bit my lip. Kate heaved a sigh and we looked at the two guards, the main one from before that kept catching Dean in the act, looking all tough…awesome.

"Take off. I want to handle this alone." The guard said, and the other guard turned to leave.

"Just go for them first—I'm fragile." I told him, and he gave me a look and once the other guard left, the man came up to us and then smiled.

"Deacon, you are beating the holy Hell out of me, man." Dean said with a smile on his face.

I nodded at him. "His pretty face is scratched."

Deacon smirked. "Sorry, Dean. I thought I was going easy on you. And may I say that Lana is every bit as quirky as you said she was."

"Really?" I asked with a smile.

Dean chuckled. "I think you may be a tad quirkier."

It was really nice to know that Dean spoke of me to other people. I mean I knew that it was to be expected since he loved me and we were engaged and I was carrying his baby but we weren't even _sure_ about the baby until the woman had let it slip before. My man loved me…that was all I could think about and then I remembered that we were here for a reason and had to get things done.

I smiled and turned to Deacon. "Did you really have to rough him up that hard?"

"I'm just trying to make it real." Deacon said, holding his hands up in surrender to me.

"Yeah, well mission accomplished." Dean told him.

"It's nice to meet you by the way." I told him.

Deacon smiled and then paused a moment as he unlocked my handcuffs. "That's a nice rock you have there…Dean settling…it's an idea to wrap the mind around."

"Yeah, it is." I said and then rubbed my wrists as he went to get Kate out of _her_ handcuffs. "So there's a problem Deacon."

"Turns out that the spirit isn't Moody at all." Kate told him. "It was some nurse that worked here a long time ago but we don't have all of the details."

Dean nodded. "Which is why we need to stick around here until we find them."

"You want to have this fight for real, Dean?" Sam asked him. "We gotta go. We gotta go now." Dean trying to protest and Deacon tried to interrupt. "We're leaving, Dean. Otherwise we'll be leaving in shackles to Milwaukee with Hendrickson as company and Lan's going to give birth to your kid in jail. Do you want that?"

"All the more reason for Lanni to get out now." Dean told him with a shrug.

I rubbed my temples and sighed as Deacon looked over at me and then when Sam and Dean got into each others' faces again I smacked them both. Deacon raised his voice and pulled something from our lawyer out of his pocket. I smiled and grabbed it, Dean talking about how velvety smooth he was, but his punishment was me and Kate looking at the information first.

"Okay so Glockner died in the old cell block right after Moody bit it." Kate explained out loud to them as she and I looked over the information in front of us. "There was an inmate uprising and she got caught in the middle. They dragged her to Moody's old cell and gave her a 'severe cerebral adema'."

"Someone bashed her head in." Sam said softly.

I nodded at that. "Yeah, but it says where she was buried so as long as we can get out of here right now, we can get to the cemetery and salt and burn her bones. Hey, look Sammy—you won."

Dean shot me a look and then turned to Deacon. "Don't worry, Deacon, we'll get rid of this thing."

Deacon removed part of the wall. "Good, 'cause I want it out of my prison. Boys, uh…I can't thank you enough for this. I know I was asking a lot, but you still came through. Your Daddy raised you right."

"Well, we owed ya." Sam told him.

"Right." Deacon said, and they shook and half hugged and then he smiled at me. "And you. I've heard about you, but you really came through too. You created quite a stir, and you managed to help with a hunt. John would have been proud—of the four of you. Kate I've definitely heard about."

Kate smiled and flipped her hair. "I _am_ the famous one out of the four of us."

I laughed a little and rolled my eyes, pushing on her and nodding because it was honestly true—Kate knew how to hunt. She was _damn_ good at it and lots of other hunters knew her name and she was respected. Kate got in there, figured out the case, kicked some ass, and sometimes passed her knowledge onto others…I was proud to call her my cousin.

I smiled at Deacon. "Can I hug you?"

"Yeah." Deacon chuckled and so I hugged him and told him I was glad to meet him and then he looked at all four of us. "I hope to see you all again, huh? Just…not in here."

We all laughed and Sam said, "We'll try our best."

We walked towards the wall to leave, and then Dean turned around. "Oh…where do you want it?"

At first I was confused but Kate just smiled and then started through the wall, Sam following her. When Dean balled his fist, I got it and smiled a little too—the cover that we escaped. Classic. This way Deacon wouldn't have to take the fall for it at all…even though no guard should leave their partner alone with _four_ 'criminals'…

"What?" Deacon asked, and Dean grinned, making Deacon smile a little. "Yeah, um…" He replied, pointing to his chin, still smiling but stopped Dean for a second. "Make it look real, son."

Dean smiled and knocked him out, all of us hurrying outside and running as fast as we could so we could get out of here before they found Deacon. We knew we needed to change so we had to get to the car because honestly we were _incredibly_ easy to spot. Orange was one of those colors that just stood out, and when we got to the Impala, Dean grinned.

"Oh man, are you a sight for sore eyes." Dean said, and we started to take off our jackets. "You know, I almost wish I could see Hendrickson's face."

"Really? 'Cause I'd be happy if we never saw him again. We're not really out of the woods yet, Dean, you know?" Sam asked him and then the alarms went off as we grabbed our regular coats.

"You're right." Dean nodded, and we got into the car and drove off towards the Green Valley cemetery to burn Glockner's bones.

Sam took a breath. "We gotta move it. If Hendrickson gets to the lawyer—"

"—I thought she couldn't say anything. You know that whole lawyer/client privilege?" Dean asked him.

"The privilege doesn't apply, Dean." I told him.

Dean made a face as we walked through the cemetery. "So she'll talk?"

"She has to." Sam and Kate said together.

"That's freaking super." Dean sighed loudly.

I shrugged, and when we found her gravestone, I took the flashlight, and Sam and Dean started digging. Kate and I looked around every once in a while to make sure we weren't being followed—if we were, we were gonna have to run really fast. Besides, Sam wouldn't let Kate do any shoveling and Dean was probably never going to let me do anything even remotely 'heavy lifting' again—not until the baby popped out.

"Got her." Sam said, and Kate helped him up, so we could salt and burn the bones.

"Whoo-hoo!" I said out loud. "Sorry. Let's get going."

The boys nodded and once the bones were burned we all hurried back to the Impala, putting the shovels and things into the back, and then looking at each other over the top. This could have been _so_ much worse, so I was glad that it was practically over…even though now Kate and I were _definitely_ into the system. Since Hendrickson seemed so thorough too, that meant that he was going to look into mine and Kate's backgrounds…this could turn out…_badly_.

"Thought we were screwed before?" Sam asked Dean.

"Yeah, I know." Dean nodded. "We gotta go deep this time."

"'Deep', Dean?" Sam asked with a chuckled. "We should go to Yemen."

"Ooh, I'm—I'm not sure I'm ready to go _that_ deep." He said, with a little grin and then Sam got into the car and Dean turned to me.

Kate smiled at us. "I'll give you guys some semi-privacy but make it quick—I ain't going back to jail."

I smiled at her as she got into the back seat of the car and then I turned to Dean who kissed me and smiled a bit into it. It was really the first break that we had gotten and he wanted to celebrate the pregnancy and so did I. At the same time, this seemed like as good a time as any to demand an answer to the last actual fight we'd have—even _if_ we were crunching time.

"That was quite an adventure." I told him, kissing him gently. "When we get to a safer location, let me tell you just how much of one."

Dean smirked and kissed me again. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

"That why you got all upset before Mom died?" I asked him slowly.

"Yeah it is." He replied with a nod. "We lost one baby and I just…I don't think I could handle it if we lost another one, all right? You _have_ to be more careful."

I smiled and kissed him softly. "I promise."

**Note: The next chapter has a LOT of fluff, so be prepared for it! I thought I owed you guys, so I hope you really like it. Also, the next chapter is REALLY long, so I apologize now. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	49. You're my Family, You're my Home

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**All right I changed a bunch of this just so that I could have it so that I was making my point with Lana's and Dean's relationship.**

**That memory of Lana's is important, and I hope you like this.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

I smoothed down the white dress and I looked in the mirror and smiled—it looked good even though it was kind of morbid. Honestly, yes it was feminine and it was beautiful, but it was the dress I had been buried in. Still, it was the only really feminine thing that I had packed—well the only dress, I had a few blouses.

"Wow." Dean said, coming over to me as I looked in the bathroom mirror. "You look very…feminine today."

I nodded slowly. "All that orange was taking a toll on me, and I figured that I may never wear this dress again so why not wear it now while we do some research?"

Dean came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, nuzzling his nose into my hair. He kissed my head and rested his hands on my stomach, me resting my hands on his and smiling, leaning back into him. I closed my eyes a moment and took the moment in as he rested his chin in the nape of my shoulder, and then he kissed my cheek.

"You okay?" Dean asked me.

I nodded and opened up my eyes. "I'm good, I just…I'm pregnant again and Sam and Kate have a this budding romance thing happening but they never have enough time alone."

"You shouldn't worry about Kate and Sammy." Dean told me, and he stroked my hair when I turned around in his arms to look at him. "They're on a lunch date right now. I was supposed to keep it a secret until _she_ told you, but I'm all annoyed that _you_ didn't tell me that it was your _birthday_ today."

"Who _told_ you?" I asked him, my mouth agape.

Dean gave me a look. "Well not _you_."

I nodded and sighed, biting my lip as Dean stroked my hair and kissed my forehead, pulling back and looking me in the eye. He wanted an explanation and I wanted to give it to him, but I kind of felt like I was feeling all sorry for myself. At the same time, I had every reason _not_ to want to celebrate my birthday no matter how many years ago it all happened…no matter who I had lost.

"You're 23 now, Lanni. It's a big deal." Dean said, kissing me swiftly.

"Not really." I told him. "I've been getting older and older for 23 years. It's just one more year."

Dean kissed me again. "_I _think it's a big deal."

I returned the kiss and then made a face when he pulled away and left the bathroom. I followed him out there and looked at him, putting my hands on my hips and laughing a little bit. What in the world was going on here? Did he have something _planned _for my birthday? Was that it?

"Baby, what's up?" I asked, loving that he was being sweet, but why was he being so sweet?

"I think it's about time we left." Dean told me and smiled as he looked at me. "You look perfect."

I looked down at my white dress and then back up at Dean. "What? You want me to wear a dress? And wait a minute—we're on the run. Why—I'm so lost."

I slumped down onto the bed and put my face in my hands, flopping back onto it and smiling when I felt the weight shift. Dean laid on his side next to me and propped his head up on his hand, using his other one to rest on my stomach. He kissed me softly and then pulled back, looking at me as I looked at him.

"Look, I just have this big plan, okay?" Dean told me. "Now let me change into nicer clothes, and you put some shoes on and grab a coat."

"You don't have to celebrate my birthday, Dean, really." I said, stroking his cheek and running my thumb along his bottom lip. "Unfortunately, this day also happens to be the anniversary of the fire that killed my parents."

Dean stroked me hair. "So that's why you don't like celebrating your birthday."

"Yeah, that's why." I admitted.

Dean kissed me and I returned it until he pulled away and nuzzled his nose against mine. Then he leaned down and he kissed my stomach which made me feel more wonderful than I could even describe. He smiled at me and then got off of the bed and he looked at me, smiling at me and then pointing at me.

"I promise that today will be unforgettable, okay?" Dean promised me.

I just nodded, smiling a bit because he was just too cute when he was excited and I liked that he was in a good mood. He seemed so calm and happy, and I hadn't seen him like that in a while. I grabbed some shoes and I ran my fingers through my hair, looking in the mirror and shrugging. What he was going to surprise me with I'd love because it was from him, but at the same time, it couldn't be too big because we were on the run.

"Wow." I said, looking up and seeing him wearing a suit. "When you said nicer, you definitely meant it."

Dean shrugged and smirked. "I guess."

I raised an eyebrow. "Where are you planning on taking me that we can actually be seen by people? We're both dressed pretty fancy."

Dean smiled at me. "It's a change of pace."

"Whatever you say." I told him, and went over to fix his tie, smiling a little and then kissing him gently. "Sure you don't want to just stay in?"

"Not today." Dean said, kissing me gently. "Tonight maybe."

I nodded, and took his hand, both of us getting into the Impala. At first I had no idea as to what was going on, but I smiled a little when we pulled up to a hospital. I wasn't really a fan of hospitals and I was dressed far too nicely for a visit to a hospital, but I had a pretty good idea of what was going on here.

"First order of business is hearing a heartbeat." Dean told me, grinning. "Out, out out."

I got out of the car laughing. "You know, you being romantic I could _totally _get used to so…be careful."

"Just come here." Dean said, rolling his eyes.

I laughed some more and we went in, Dean having apparently set up an appointment for me already. We sat in the waiting room until the nurse called us in and after changing into one of the gowns and letting Dean set my dress aside, the doctor came in and put the gel on my stomach. It was kind of cold, and I smiled when Dean held my hand, squeezing it when we heard the heartbeat—I was most _definitely _pregnant, and the look on Dean's face made it all worth it.

"It looks like you're about 6 weeks along." The doctor told us. "Congratulations. Now we should go over prenatal vitamins."

I nodded after Dean kissed me swiftly and I smiled at the doctor as we talked about some things. Once we were done talking to the doctor and I got dressed again, Dean and I getting a copy of the ultrasound for the baby scrapbook I was making, we got into the car and started driving again. I felt even _more_ clueless to what was going on when Dean pulled up to a church and I turned to him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa—you don't go to church. You don't even _like_ church." I told him.

He just smiled and got out of the car, opening my door for me and helping me out. When we went into the church, I saw Kate, Sam, Jen, Kevin and the girls, and smiled at them, glad to see them all. I wasn't sure what was going on, but everyone was here, and it was my birthday and I had heard my baby's heartbeat and I was happy.

"SURPRISE!" They all yelled and I smiled, hugging each of them rather fiercely, and then I turned to Dean and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Okay...did you plan this?" I asked happily.

Dean nodded with a smile on his face. "Yeah and I also have one more surprise for you that I think you'll _really_ enjoy. Greg!"

A man dressed as a priest came out, and I started to get what was happening, my mouth gaping open a little. I even started to cry as Dean got down on one knee and pulled out a set of wedding bands, smiling up at me. There were absolutely no words here and I knew that after this big romantic blow-out I could expect not so much romance, but I could handle that…I really could just to be able to change my last name to his.

"Lanni…will you marry me? Right now?" He asked me.

I smiled and nodded quickly. "Of course I will, Dean."

xxxx

It turned out that Greg was one of John's old friends, and he was able to put mine and Dean's actual names on the legal papers. As of right now, I was officially Alana Rose Winchester. I'd just dropped the name Meckenzie and married the man I'd loved for almost two years now. Wow…Dean and I were _married_…I'd just _married Dean Winchester_…wow.

"Wow." I told Dean, kissing him again. "You outdid yourself today."

"I'm staying in a different tonight so you two can have a bit of a honeymoon." Sam informed me, and Jen smiled.

"Well, you've landed him." Jen said laughing. "I have to admit that I almost had a heart attack when Dean called and told me that he wanted to make your birthday special. I mean it wasn't that part—it was that special meant marrying you."

I smiled at her, and then I looked at the girls and they smiled at me, both of them excited enough to be near their Auntie Lana. To be honest I loved them to pieces and I was glad to be near them too because I missed them. They were so adorable and so innocent, and being around them made me want my own family…one Dean and I could now have.

"Uncle Dean has some romance in him yet, doesn't he?" I asked, picking Kaydence up. "Is that a smirk? Is that a smirk?"

I blew on her tummy Minah holding out her hands to be held too as Kaydence smiled and laughed a little, and Dean picked her up, smiling at her. Dean looked like he was actually enjoying Kaydence's company even though I knew kids were still kind of a thing for him. He liked them well enough and all, but settling down was still a new thing for him to wrap his head around but he was willing to try for me…I loved him for that.

Dean and I smiled at each other for a moment, knowing that things had just changed and yet things were still the same. He and his flirtatious nature I knew would stick, but I didn't have anything to worry about—he was mine, and I was his and we had the rings on our left ring fingers to prove it. I knew that at the end of the day, we were one now—truly and honestly one.

"Well, I'm starting to think that you two are thinking of starting the honeymoon already." Kevin joked, and I looked away from Dean and smiled at him.

"Who wouldn't?" I asked him with a smirk. "Dean's all cute and wonderfully endowed."

Kevin laughed a little. "I'm happy for you two—really."

"Paige is moving in with me." Jen told me, changing the subject. "What with Kevin traveling for his new job, I needed someone else to help me with the girls. Ryan has been pitching in a lot too, actually—as has Lance."

"Man, how are those three?" I asked her. "I haven't even tried to keep in touch."

Honestly, part of me felt bad about leaving Lance, Ryan and Paige in the dark, but the other part of me didn't care. I mean Lance was a good friend, and I considered Ryan and Paige friends and Paige was a hunter, but at the same time they just weren't in my life like Annie, Kate, Jen, Bobby and Kevin were. Bobby had me keep him in the loop on practically everything these days, and I appreciated his concern for my well-being.

Jen shrugged. "They're fabulous, but we should all prolly be getting back. Happy birthday, Lan. Oh—Lance sends his congrats, as do Ryan and Paige, but Lance really wanted you to know he's happy for you."

"Well tell him, 'thanks' then." I told her. "And of course tell Ryan and Paige that too since they sent their 'congratulations' too. I'm just glad that you, Kevin, and the girls got to come for this. I'm used to spending my birthday without you. I mean even with the boys, I've found a way to get them to have you either along, or to go back to Kansas without telling them what day it was."

"Yes, but now I'm going to _remember_ your birthday." Dean told me, kissing my temple. "Besides…it's close to Mom's."

I was a little caught off guard that he had said that, but I nodded and kissed him swiftly before I turned to hug Jen long and hard. We ran our hands along each other's backs and squeezed, before I turned to Kevin and hugged him too. Then they took the girls and they left the church, leaving just Kate, Sam, Dean and I and I took a deep breath. It was just the four of us…and I was going to have to get used to that damn quick because I had a feeling it would _always_ be the four of us.

"You two can still pull together some semblance of a honeymoon tonight." Kate told me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. "I know it's not the same, Lanni…I know you wish that Mom, Kalli and Annie had been here, but you have us."

I smiled sadly at her. "Yeah…thank you for being here, Kate. Hey, though, don't let Dean and I kick you out on _our_ account."

"Hey! Speak for yourself, Lanni." Dean told me, firmly holding his ground as I sent him a look. "I'm sleeping with my wife tonight and that's final."

"Its fine, Lanni, really—Sammy and I actually…have a _real_ date planned for tonight." Kate said, a blush rising in her cheeks.

I looked at her a grinned, hugging her tightly and whispering to her that I was happy for her. She was just the most adorable thing ever with that look on her face—she _really_ liked Sam and that was just all there was to it. Sam seemed to genuinely be interested in her too and so I hoped that they worked out. I _really_ hoped that they worked out.

"Sam, you sly dog." Dean told him, elbowing him in the side playfully with a large grin on his face.

Sam gave Dean a look. "Oh get over it."

"If I'm going to get into the mood for some consummating, we should head to the hotel now." I said, trying to save Sam and Kate some of Dean's embarrassment.

"That sounds like the _perfect_ idea." Dean agreed, grabbing my hand. "Let's go."

xxxx

I got up in the middle of the night and went into the bathroom, freaking out a little bit at what was happening to me. Instead of going to go and talk to Dean, Kate or Sam, I just snaked the keys and borrowed the Impala, driving to the hospital and checking myself in under the same name I'd used a couple of days ago with Dean. It probably wasn't the best idea in the world, but I did it anyway because I needed to talk to the doctor about what the Hell was going on.

"So, Mrs. Fields, you're bleeding?" She asked me.

I nodded slowly. "It looked like spotting at first, but I think there's too much blood. I've had a miscarriage before and I just…I really needed to make sure that this baby was all right."

"It says on your chart that you should be about 6 weeks along so we should just be able to check the baby with an ultrasound." She explained to me. "Also, I'd like to draw some blood and see if we can see if something else is the problem."

"All right." I told her, lying back and lifting my shirt up a little.

She smiled at me and she asked about my husband and I explained that this would be our first baby to come to term if it made it that far, and she and I both smiled when we heard the heartbeat. I was so relieved that the baby was all right, and once the gel was wiped off of my stomach, she drew some blood and left me in the room to take it to the lab. She said it would take a few hours since they had to open and she would call me about it and as I made it back out to the Impala, my phone rang—Dean.

"Hey, Baby." I told him calmly.

"Where are you?" Dean asked me without skipping a beat.

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I jacked the Impala, I just—I really need to borrow it and I am on my way back to you, Sam and Kate right now."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dean asked me.

I closed my eyes and got into the car. "I'll talk to you when I get back to the motel."

I hung up and pocketed my phone, putting the key in the ignition and turning the engine over. I wanted to just tell him that I was worried, but what if nothing was wrong and I was just worrying him for nothing? Then again, what if something _was _wrong and I hadn't told him? That was almost like lying and I _couldn't _do that to him _ever _again.

I was actually really surprised that Dean even wanted this baby so much considering my heritage. What if our baby ended up being more demonic than we had bargained for and it posed a problem? I would _never _want to do what John had done and tell Dean that he may potentially have to kill his own child if he couldn't 'save' them…what were Dean and I getting ourselves into?

I just tried to push the thoughts away and parked in the motel parking lot, taking out my motel room key and letting myself in. Dean was the first one up and he came over to me, kissing me, resting his hand on my stomach. I smiled a little more and kissed him harder, slipping my fingers up into his hair and holding up the keys to the Impala so he could take them from me.

"Finally." Dean told me, kissing me swiftly again. "I was worried when I woke up and you weren't there."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…I went to the hospital because I was bleeding—but don't worry, the baby is still alive and well, but they took some blood so they could run some tests."

"I think that's a worse scenario than you getting caught." Dean said, stroking my hair.

"Baby, I'm fine and I _promise _the baby is fine too." I told him, kissing him and holding my hand on his and he rested it on my stomach and ran his thumb along it.

Dean nodded and then kissed me swiftly. "Kate's still sleeping since it's late, but I want to check in on something. You should get some rest and Sam will watch over you and Kate while I'm gone."

"All right…I _am _kind of tired." I admitted.

Dean nodded and kissed my one more time, heading out after taking the keys from me. Then I kissed the top of Sam's head and went to snuggle into mine and Dean's bed, content for now even though I was a little worried about what was going on with the baby. Still, I snuggled into the covers and told myself that everything was going to be fine—I was having this baby no matter what it took…switch or no switch.

xxxx

***Third Person - Inside the Other Reality***

The last thing Dean remembered before he woke up was the Djinn touching his forehead and now suddenly, he was waking up in a room—in Lana's room, Lana sleeping right next to him peacefully. Wait…there was absolutely _no_ way that they were back in Kansas. He had been out hunting, and now…where the Hell was he? What had the Djinn done to him?

"Momma! Momma!" Cried a sandy-haired boy, no more than 5, jumping onto the bed.

Lana groaned a little and then sat up. "Johnny, honey, you can _not_ go around yelling at this hour! You're going to wake Lily up, and Mommy and Baby are tired."

"Sorry baby." Johnny said, resting his hand on Lana's very slight pregnant bump and kissing it softly. "It's just that Casey is being mean! She jumped on my bed and woke me up!"

"Dean, honey, can you go talk to Casey, please?" Lana asked, turning to him and then noticing how astonished he looked. "Dean, honey?"

Dean wasn't sure if he knew exactly what to say and he just stared at her and the little boy that looked like he could _definitely _be his. He was also trying to absorb all of this information because from the sound of it, he and Lana had _three _kids and they were expecting a fourth. Where was he? What had the Djinn done?

"Johnny, why don't you go back to bed and _I'll_ come talk to Casey in a second, all right?" Lana told him, and he nodded hurriedly, Eskimo-kissing his mother and then bounding back out of the room, Lana turning to Dean. "All right, Baby—what's got you looking so freaked out?"

Dean swallowed and he honestly couldn't get a handle on his emotions in the slightest. The Djinn granted wishes and deep down he knew what his one wish had been—he wished that his mother had never died. There were other wishes that he had, but that one was most important to him and he was wondering if this could _really _be a wish…could it? Here Lana was, pregnant with child number four and he could feel a ring on his finger and they _had _had a chance to know each other in Junior High…could this be happening, honestly?

"I just…Lanni, I…" Dean trailed off and shook his head.

Lana leaned in and kissed him, his mouth _completely_ responsive to her, whether this was _really_ his Lana or not. Part of him had so many questions to ask her and the other part of him just wanted to enjoy this. They had children—they had _several_ children…_how_ could he screw this up? This was something he had always wanted, and yet known he could never truly have the way it was supposed to be.

"Let's get coffee and talk after we talk to Casey." Lana explained, getting up and heading to their bedroom door in her tank and pajama pants after grabbing a baby monitor. "You coming, Dean?"

Dean just nodded and got up, a t-shirt and pajama pants on and he followed Lana past a nursery that he glanced into, and to a room with a little girl who looked almost like the spitting image of Lana. He really had to hand it to his children—he and Lana had given them some _damn_ good genes. Now he really wanted to see his other daughter and he wanted to know how far along Lana was to know if they were in store for another girl or another boy this time around.

"What's with waking up your little brother?" Lana asked Casey, leaning on the door frame.

Casey shrugged a little. "I had a nightmare."

"Case, honey, you can _always _climb into bed with Daddy and me and you _know_ that." Lana told her, heading over to her and sitting on the side of her bed, stroking her hair. "Why didn't you come to us?"

"You've been having hot flashes and I didn't want to be a pain." Casey said with a shrug.

Lana smiled and kissed her eldest daughter's forehead. "Case, honey, you're _never_ a pain. Next time you have a nightmare, no matter what, come to Daddy and me and let Johnny sleep, okay? I don't think he understands. Now…want Daddy to check for monsters?"

"Yes." Casey said, nodding furiously.

Lana nodded and then looked at Dean, who smiled and went to go and check the closet and under the bed. Casey smiled at him and told him that she loved him, Dean grinning and telling her he loved her too. Honestly he felt like he could get used to this…even though it was hurting him inside that this kind of normal life would have given them Casey…would have spared him and Lana the heartbreak of losing a child.

"You think you can go back to sleep now, Case?" Lana asked her.

Casey nodded and smiled. "Goodnight, Mommy."

"Goodnight, honey." Lana replied, kissing her head again and then walking out of the room and taking Dean by the hand, making sure Casey's night-light was on.

Dean simply followed Lana out into the kitchen and then smiled at her as he watched her make some coffee and yawn. She closed her eyes and rested her hand on her tiny pregnant bulge, smiling when Dean came up behind her and kissed her neck softly, moving her hair off of her neck. Nothing ever made her feel as good as when Dean did the small things like this that made her feel so much more comfortable.

"So why were you so freaked earlier, Dean?" Lana asked him softly, turning around in his arms and smiling up at him. "And careful—we've been married long enough that I know when you lie."

Dean nodded and stroked her cheek, kissing her softly. "I'm not supposed to be here."

"No?" She asked him.

"I was hunting a Djinn and one second he touches me, and the next I'm here." Dean explained to her.

Lana stopped smiling and Dean suddenly realized that maybe he shouldn't have said it like that. Just because _his_ Lana was a hunter, didn't mean that _this_ one was! What if he had just effectively made her think that he was _crazy_? All he knew right then was that Lana was looking at him differently now, but then she just closed her mouth and she nodded at him.

"You're really not entirely my Dean." She said finally. "Okay, until we figure this out, there are things that you should know."

Dean raised his eyebrows. "You believe me? Just like that?"

"I've been keeping the secret that I was a hunter for years, Dean…I believe you." She told him and then took a deep breath. "Casey is our first and she's 6. When she was four months old, you and I were in a really good mood and we had a really amazing night, and then Johnny was conceived so he and Casey are only 13 months younger than her. We also have Lily, who is seven months old and only just _now_ sleeping through the night, and I'm three months pregnant with our fourth and _last_, baby. I love you but…four is a _lot_ of kids, Dean."

"Definitely is." Dean replied with a nod. "So…what is it all like here?"

Lana smiled at him. "Well for one, you're an _amazing_ father—not like I would ever think you _wouldn't _be—and your Dad died recently, which is tragic. I think Mary misses him a _lot_, and I really can't blame her."

Lana looked up as Dean turned to walk away from her, following him out into the living room and watching him as he looked at all of the pictures. There were pictures of him and Lana, of him, Lana and the kids, of John and the kids, and then there she was—Mary. His wish had come true and he _had_ to see her—had to see his mother. He looked at Lana and he knew she was confused, but he grabbed his coat and pulled on his shoes.

"In my world…she died when Sam was six months old." Dean explained to her.

Lana nodded sadly. "Then you have to go see her."

Dean smiled at her, glad she understood, and headed out in the Impala, glad it was still his car even though there was an SUV—that was obviously to chauffeur the kids around. He went straight to Mary's house and he knocked on the door, ringing the doorbell quickly and was amazed to see his mother there. She looked miffed to see him in the middle of the night, but she had him come in and after asking her the one question he could think of, he was convinced it was her and he hugged her.

He hugged her and he talked to her a little, her letting him stay the night and Lana understood that. She had a cup of coffee and she went back to bed, the kids sleeping peacefully as Dean slept on his mother's couch, happy to just be in her presence. He had missed her so much, and if he had a chance to get to know her, then he was going to make the best of it. Dean had always missed his mother, and he knew that he always would…unless he never had to wake up.

When he did, though, he was still in this strange alternate reality, so he headed to a nearby college to learn more about Djinn. The thought had crossed his mind to talk to Lana about it, but at the same time she was probably busy with the kids on her own. It really made him smile to know that they had such a beautiful family…to know that she was happy—that _he_ was happy. Right now though, Dean was doing what he did best: he was pretending to be someone else to get some answers.

"I don't recognize you from any of my classes." The professor told him.

Dean chuckled. "Really? I'm there everyday. I really love it."

The professor smiled. "Well, what do you want to know?"

"I wanted to know about Djinns." Dean replied. "Like can they really alter reality?"

"No." The professor told him. "Because they aren't real."

"Yeah, but, I mean if they were—could they really change everything based on a wish?" Dean asked him.

Dean knew his answers had to be here somewhere and since he in this reality was _not_ a hunter, they had to come from someone _else_ with the knowhow. Since John was never a hunter, none of John's contacts or any that Dean had made over the years would even know him, so he had to settle for a professor. Besides…he kind of liked this reality, and he _really_ needed to know if this was real—if he could _have_ this.

The professor nodded. "That's what the texts say. Djinns are almost godlike, and they can alter reality any way they see fit."

"But what do they gain from it?" Dean asked him. "I mean really. What do they get in return?"

"Have you been drinking?" The professor asked him, looking him over.

Dean sighed loudly. "Everyone keeps asking me that, but no."

When Dean got all the information he needed, he went outside to his car, but spotted a strange girl watching him. As he got closer to her to try and figure out who she was, a car almost ran him over, drawing his attention away from her. When he looked back up, she was gone, so he went back to his car, and headed back to Mary's, smiling when he saw that Lana's SUV was out there, meaning she and the kids were visiting their grandmother.

"I'm back!" Dean announced, coming into the house.

"Daddy!" Casey cried, running to him.

He picked her up and he smiled at her, kissing her head and she hugged him close, Mary smiling as he brought her into the dining room. Lana and Mary were making everyone food and Dean had to admit it—he was _starving_. So he set Casey down next to Johnny who was eating some cereal, looking up as Mary set a plate in front of him and Lana went over to a basonet as a soft cry was heard. It suddenly dawned on Dean that he hadn't even _seen _Lily yet, and he beamed as Lana picked Lily up and smiled at her.

"There's my hungry girl!" Lana exclaimed, nibbling on Lily's stomach through her onesie, which made Lily laugh a little. "I think it's _your _turn to be fed too…yes I do."

Mary handed Lana a weird looking piece of fabric according to Dean, but he watched and learned. It covered Lana and held Lily, letting Lily breastfeed without making anyone else watch—it was almost ingenious as far as Dean was concerned. He dug into his sandwich in front of him as Casey began to talk about cheese and its calcium, completely lost in the taste of it as Lana winced a little.

"This is the best sandwich ever!" Dean exclaimed.

Mary smiled at him. "I'm glad you think so."

"Are you okay, Mommy?" Johnny asked Lana.

"I'm fine, just…I'm definitely going to have Braxton Hicks when your brother or sister comes along." Lana said with a nod. "Just like when you did."

Mary ran her fingers through Lana's hair. "You're a brave one to juggle so many kids and _still_ breast-feed while pregnant."

"I want _four _perfect little angels." Lana replied with a small shrug, trying not to upset Lily too much because her nipples were tender enough as it was without Lily feeling the need to latch on any harder.

"I don't know if you have _any _angels." Casey said, smiling when Johnny protested and Mary told her that she, Johnny and Lily _were _in fact angels.

Dean was just so happy in that moment—Lana was beautiful and a _wonderful _mother, Mary loved her like her own, his children were attractive and sassy, he led a rather decent life…but what about Sam? In all this time, Dean hadn't ever incquired about Sam. What was _he _up to? Where was he? What about Lana's family? How were they? How did hunting fit in with _her_?

"Where is Sammy?" Dean asked aloud.

Lana smiled at him, adjusting Lily a bit. "He should be here later today."

"Good, because I'm _dying _to see him." Dean replied with a smile and then he got up and looked out the window. "Wow, your lawn looks like it needs to be mowed."

"Are you offering to mow the lawn?" Mary asked skeptically.

"I would _love_ to mow the lawn!" Dean told her happily.

Mary nodded slowly. "Okay…you'd think you'd never mowed a lawn in your life."

Lana laughed a little and then shrugged and waved it off when Mary sipped her coffee and looked at her. Lana knew that in this reality Dean had mowed the lawn _plenty_ of times, but in _his_, he was a hunter and he hadn't _had_ a normal life. Mary told him to knock himself out, and then after finishing his sandwich, he went out and got the lawnmower, Casey and Johnny coloring as Mary went to grab a couple of things and Lana burped Lily, watching Dean out the window and smiling.

He was adorable—and he didn't know how to mow a lawn at all, but it was cute and Lana was enjoying it. This Dean was definitely different, but at the same time he was Dean, and he seemed to be _genuinely_ in love with her even though she wasn't exactly _his_ Lana and she almost loved him _more_ for that. Besides, he was _great_ with the kids even though he hadn't been around them that much, but he genuinely seemed to love them…and Lana was just happy Dean was happy.

"I think I deserve a nice, cold beer for that." Dean said, coming in and smiling at everyone.

Lana smiled and handed him a very happy Lily. "Hold your daughter and I'll get you one."

"All right." Dean said with a nod, taking Lily and holding her like he'd held Kaydence and Minah before, smiling when she smiled at him and reached for his nose. "I think she likes me."

"I would hope so." Lana replied with a laugh, handing him a beer after popping the top off and then holding out her hands. "Give her back and go sit on the porch and enjoy the beer."

Dean looked at Lana. "Do you…do you mind if I take her with me?"

"Knock yourself out." Lana told him, even though she knew she kind of sounded like Mary just then.

Dean smiled because he'd thought she sounded like his mother too, and he took Lily outside with him, sitting on the porch. He kissed her head and drank the beer, looking up as Johnny and Casey came out with some sidewalk chalk. Lana came out too just as Sam pulled up with Jessica, both of them fresh from California and happy to be there.

"Sammy!" Lana cried as Jessica shut the door of the car hard.

Sam's eyes lit up and they ran to each other. "I missed you, Lan! How is my niece or nephew?"

"Great, I promise you." Lana replied, hugging Sam tightly and then turning to go for Jessica, but Dean was already there with his arms around her, holding her tightly.

Lana glanced over to see Casey holding her sister on the porch, and Johnny grabbing Sam's hand. Sam looked down at his nephew and smiled at him, nodding when Johnny tugged him over to where Casey and Lily were. Johnny was hoping that the baby in his mother's stomach was a boy—he had enough sisters and Sam could understand where he was coming from even without firsthand experience.

When Dean was done hugging Jessica, Lana went in for a hug, the two embracing each other fondly. Dean smiled at that—Lana really _was_ part of his family, and he realized that he should have realized that a _long_ time ago. She was just his perfect match and the fact that she was like this in just a _wish_ reality was perfect for him…_she_ was perfect to him.

"So you ready for Mary's birthday dinner?" Jessica asked Lana, both of them pulling apart but staying fairly close.

Lana nodded as Dean made a face. "Yes, completely. I just need to make sure Lily naps so she won't be _too_ fussy. I know the restaurant will throw a fit if I have to breast-feed her while we're there."

"Oh they can get over it—you'd be covered. Besides, babies are just a part of life." Jessica replied she and Lana hugging again. "My God Sam and I have been _so_ busy, but that's no excuse to go _this_ long without seeing each other!"

"I've been busy too but trust me…I get where you're coming from." Lana replied with a nod.

Dean just smiled at them, and then after a little bit of talking with Mary, they all kind of split up to get ready for the night. Lana got Casey and Lily dressed before she even _started_ getting ready herself, and Dean helped Johnny to get ready, all of them dressing pretty fancy. Dean smiled at his family and then they went to the restaurant, all of them sitting at the table, Mary genuinely happy to be spending this day with her family.

Lana smiled at Dean as he rested his hand on her knee, and then all attention was on Jessica and Sam. Mary and Lana's eyes lit up when Sam took Jessica's left hand and showed them all the ring on her finger, Casey clapping excitedly as the uproar happened. She and Johnny understood what was going on and they were happy for their uncle—they wanted Jessica to be their aunt. So everyone got up and they hugged and offered Sam and Jessica congratulations, all of them turning to see Dean walk away from Sam abruptly towards a figure.

Dean was seeing the same girl from before again, but as he got closer to her, he was distracted by almost running into a waiter. When his focus went back to the girl, she was gone again and Dean knew he looked pretty foolish, turning back to his family. They were all looking at him funny and Lana was biting her lip and Dean wasn't sure what it was that he was supposed to do, but Lana hurriedly made up an excuse for them all to get on back home after finishing up dinner.

When they got back to Mary's, she decided to turn in, but hugged everyone one last time and welcome Jessica into the family. She kissed the sleeping Lily in the car-seat, then Dean offered to take Sam and Jessica out for a drink to celebrate, but Sam gave him a look. Lana asked Jessica to watch Lily, Casey and Johnny for a moment, and then dragged Sam and Dean into the kitchen, smiling a little at Johnny and Casey resting their heads together, both exhausted.

"How about tonight we get the kids home, and then _tomorrow_ the four of us can celebrate? Tomorrow's Dean's and my day anyway. That sound good?" Lana asked them.

Sam nodded and then explained that he and Dean weren't super close at all. They were close because Lana had made them close and she had definitely changed Dean for the better, but Lana was the one that kept in touch the most. Sam and Dean actually did love each other, but it was more of a have to than a want to and that hurt Dean more than he could say. The hunting was what brought them together, and in this world…in this world the hunting didn't exist for them.

Dean let it go though and helped to carry his kids out to the car, watching Lana hug Sam and Jessica one last time before they piled into the car. All three kids fell asleep on the car ride home, and then Dean helped Lana get them all changed and tucked in, both of them getting into their own pajamas before Dean went to sit on the couch. Lana smiled at him a little and got him his favorite beer, handing it to him as he pondered.

"Wow…you know me like the back of my hand." Dean told her, smiling up at her.

Lana shrugged and sat down next to him, cuddling into him. "Well I've been married to you for almost 8 years now so…I'd like to think so."

"I'm still getting used to that." Dean admitted with a nod, and then he smiled at her. "I honestly can't believe that someone like me who isn't redeemable in anyway without hunting could _still_ get a girl like you."

"You know here's something about you that I don't think will _ever_ change—you don't think you deserve anything. Damn-it, Dean…you _do_." Lana said, pulling him closer to her. "How about we do this instead: how is your other world?"

"Not as happy as this one." Dean admitted with a small laugh.

Lana smiled at him and nodded, waiting for him to continue talking even though he was silent for a moment. He didn't know exactly what to tell her, but he felt happy that no matter where he was, when he was with Lana he knew she believed in and trusted him. Dean ran his fingers through her hair and kissed the top of her head, smiling when she laughed a lightly and ran her fingers along his chest.

"You travel with Sam and I hunting in _my_ world because our mother died when Sam was 6 months old and Dad got into hunting to avenge her death and in turn dragged us into it." Dean began softly. "You're pregnant right now and you're having some problems that I can't help you with. You're a Godmother—Jen and Kevin have twin daughters—and you're afraid that you're demon half is going to hurt your children…_our_ children."

Lana just nodded and managed a, "She's having a boy."

"Baby, why are you crying?" Dean asked her.

"I just…Kevin was kidnapped and we found his body." Lana explained sadly, swallowing down the lump in her throat. "She went kind of hunt crazy and was killed by a Shapeshifter."

"Baby, I'm sorry." Dean told her, kissing her head again.

Even if this wasn't entirely _his_ Lana, he hated to see her in pain and he knew how much Jen meant to her. It was no wonder that she would feel so bittersweet hearing that Jen had children and a family—that what this Lana had wanted with her best friend. Dean continued though when she asked, explaining about his childhood, and about the demons and about everything he'd ever been through with her and on his own before he and he wished that some of the stories that he was telling this Lana, he had told _his_ Lana.

"So what about this world? What about _this_ 'us'?" Dean asked her finally, holding her close to him on the couch, both of them lying down now.

Lana smiled at him. "I was best friends with Sammy right off the bat, actually. He and Jen dated early on in High School and then Kevin admitted how he felt and Jen wanted Kevin. Sam was all right with that, and your mother and I became fast friends, so you had to deal with me a lot. Then I went in the same Prom group with Sammy—Lance was my date—and you and I ended up practically going at it in the back of your car. Unfortunately for you, I wanted a relationship so you didn't get lucky…instead you asked me out."

"I made a good choice." Dean replied, kissing her softly. "Now…why do you say my Lana's having a boy?"

"Because Casey's pregnancy went smoothly—so did Lily's and so is this one, so I'm assuming we're having another girl." Lana said with a smile and a shrug. "With Johnny though…Johnny's pregnancy was really rough, but we got him and that was all that mattered."

Dean nodded and kissed her again, pulling back a moment and frowning a little as he ran his hand over her stomach. It was nice because he was in love with this world, and he was glad that he and Lana were happy, but he couldn't do this. She wasn't the same—she didn't have the same memories. This just wasn't _his_ Lana, or his world…no matter how _desperately_ he wanted it to be.

"I'm kind of exhausted actually, so…goodnight, Dean." Lana told him, nodding because she caught onto his pulling away.

She kissed him softly and left to go to bed, Dean turning on the TV after watching her until she disappeared. He nodded slowly drank his beer and switched around on TV, landing on the news, his eyes widening. It was a tribute to the flight he had saved but in this world…in this world he hadn't saved _anyone_. His curiosity got the best of him and he got onto a computer and he realized that _everyone_ he had _ever_ saved had died…and then he saw her.

At first Dean thought he was seeing things, but he saw the girl that he had been seeing everywhere walk past him and so he followed her into the bedroom, Lana lying there. She looked up when he came in and watched as he opened up the closet, jumping at the sight of all of the hanging bodies, but the second he blinked and looked away and then back, the bodies were gone and there were just clothes and some boxes of baby things on the top shelf.

"What's wrong, Dean?" Lana asked him as he hurried out.

He quickly grabbed his shoes and his jacket as Lana called Kate, and he headed straight to the cemetery, looking at John's grave. Dean didn't know what it was that he was supposed to be doing, but he knew he had to talk to his father…even though his father wasn't there. He looked at the grave and he tried to keep the sadness in, but he couldn't keep the words in any longer.

"All of them…everyone that you saved, everyone Sammy, Lanni and I saved—they're all dead…and there's this woman that's haunting me." Dean explained to his father's grave. "I don't know why. I don't know what the connection is—not yet, anyway. It's like my old life is coming after me or something, like it doesn't want me to be happy. Of course, I know what you'd say." Dean admitted with a nod. "Well, not the you that played softball, but you'd say, 'Go hunt the Djinn. It put you here. It can put you back. Your happiness or all those people's lives—no contest'. Right? But why?" Dean asked sadness mixed with anger. "Why is it _my_ job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? What? Mom's not supposed to live her life? Sammy's not supposed to get married? I'm not supposed to have a family? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad? It's…" Dean tried, but he just nodded and wiped the tears off of his face as the pain hit him.

"Baby, what do _you_ want to do?" Lana asked him.

Dean turned to see her standing there and when he made a face she explained that she had called Kate and she was looking after the girls. Apparently Kate and Lance were married and they were having some problems and Kate wanted out of the house. Lana walked up to Dean and she took his hand with one hand, and wiped the tears away with the others and she smiled at him softly.

"I need to go back to my own world…I can't stay here." Dean explained to her sadly.

Lana nodded slowly. "Why? Why can't you be selfish? Aren't you happy here?"

"I can't, Lanni." Dean whispered to her. "I want to, but I have to do this."

"Then I'll help you because I'm not letting you do this all on your own." She told him, but Dean could tell that she wanted him to stay with her.

He just took her help and they went to Mary's after grabbing the blood they needed, Dean looking for some silver and Lana not wanting to explain everything to Kate. Unfortunately Sam caught them and he was disappointed that Lana was actually letting Dean steal from his own mother. Dean made up a story about a bookie and a debt to be paid, and Sam decided to come with—he didn't want Dean and Lana to do anything on their own.

"So why are you coming, really?" Lana asked him.

Sam sighed. "Because Dean is still my brother, and you're still my best friend."

"Bitch." Dean told Sam with a smile.

Sam made a face. "Why'd you call me a bitch?"

"No, you're supposed to say, 'jerk'…never mind." Dean said, and they drove a little ways, and then Sam found it.

"What is this?" Sam asked, holding the bag out of Lana's way when she reached for it.

"You don't want to open that." Dean said, but Sam took it out of the bag.

"Oh my God!" Sam exclaimed loudly.

Lana nodded. "Yeah…it's blood."

"I know what it is! Why is it in your car?" Sam asked Dean.

"Because silver dipped in lamb's blood is the only weapon you can use against a Djinn." Lana replied with a shrug.

Dean tried to convince Sam that demons and ghosts and such were truly real, and then Sam fell asleep on their drive to Illinois. He didn't believe Dean—not even when Lana tried to back him up—but he _did _get up when Lana woke him up gingerly, and they went inside the building Dean had been confronted by the Djinn in, in his world. Dean found the girl that he had been seeing hanging there, and he, Sam and Lana hid when the Djinn showed up, and they watched as he tasted some of the girl's blood as she hung there, that being enough to convince Sam that this was real.

"This is real? You're not crazy? We have to get out of here, now, before that thing comes back!" Sam exclaimed.

"What if I'm in the same predicament?" Dean asked. "This is all in my head, isn't it? I'm hung up somewhere dreaming all of this—Djinn's can't change reality at all. What if that's why she keeps appearing to me? She's not a spirit. It's like more and more I'm catching flashes of reality…you know, like I'm in here somewhere, I'm catatonic, and I'm taking all this stuff in, but I…but I can't snap out of it."

Dean was running things through his head, more and more convinced that this world, as much as he wanted it, wasn't his. He couldn't stay here and be happy—he was out in the real world suffering and he needed to wake himself up. Part of him was screaming at him not to be rash, but the other part of him really wanted to wake up in the real world and kick some Djinn ass.

"Okay. Look. Yeah, you're right—you're right, I was wrong. You're not crazy, but we—we need to get out of here fast." Sam told Dean, pulling on his brother's arm.

"I don't think you're real." Dean said, freeing himself from Sam's hold as Lana bit her lip.

Sam grabbed Dean's arm. "Did you feel that? You feel this? I'm real. This is not an acid trip. I'm real, and that thing is gonna come down here and kill us for real. Now, please."

"There's one way to be sure." Dean replied, pulling out the silver knife.

"Dean!" Lana cried out softly.

Sam was surprised too. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?"

"It's an old wives' tale. If you're about to die in a dream, you'll wake up." Dean explained to him.

He didn't like the fear and pain on Sam's and Lana's faces right then, but he _did_ feel like he was doing the right thing here. This wasn't his world and he had to wake himself up and fight back—he couldn't die like this.

"No, no, no. That's crazy, alright?" Sam protested.

Lana nodded quickly. "You could just be killing yourself and where am I going to be without you? What about the kids?"

"Lan's right, Dean. This isn't a dream, alright?" Sam pleaded with him.

"No, I'm pretty sure—like 90% sure, but I'm sure enough." Dean told him, and turned the knife dipped in lamb's blood on himself.

"What about the other 10%?" Lana asked him, as Sam screamed, "Wait!"

Mary, Jessica, Casey, and Johnny appeared, Lily suddenly in Lana's arms and Dean paused a moment. He couldn't believe that they were all standing right there and he felt part of his urge to do this slip away.

"Why'd you have to keep digging? Why couldn't you have left well enough alone? You were happy." Sam told him.

Mary nodded slowly. "Put the knife down, honey."

"You're not real. None of it is." Dean told her.

"It doesn't matter." Mary answered him. "It's still better than anything you had. It's everything that you want. We're a family again—you have a _home_…let's just go home."

Dean looked at her. "I'll die. The Djinn will drain the life out of me in a couple of days."

"But in here, with us, it'll feel like years, like a lifetime. I promise. No more pain, no more fear." Mary told him, resting her hand on his cheek, smiling as he leaned into her touch, wanting to have his mother back so desperately. "Just love and comfort and safety. Dean—stay with us. Get some rest."

"You don't have to worry about Sam anymore." Jessica explained to him. "You get to watch him live a full life."

Lana nodded and kissed Dean softly, Dean responding to the kiss because he knew he couldn't not. This Lana loved him, and she had a family with him, and when she pulled away, he looked at Johnny, Casey and Lily and he felt Lana take his hand with her free one and rest it on her slightly protruding stomach. Dean swallowed down the lump in his throat and looked Lana in the eye.

"Dean we have a family—we have a _home_. Please…just stay with us." Lana pleaded.

Casey nodded. "We need you, Daddy."

"We don't want to be without you." Johnny explained.

"Why is it our job to save everyone?" Sam asked him. "Haven't we done enough? I'm _begging_ you…give me the knife."

Dean nodded sadly and looked them all over, taking a step back and thinking it all over in his head. He knew he wanted to stay—he wanted to stay _so_ terribly that he almost couldn't stand it—but he also knew he _couldn't_. So he just shook his head and looked directly at Sam, and then at Lana.

"I'm sorry." Dean told them, and then he plunged the knife into himself.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"Dean! Dean! Dean. Oh, God. Come on. Hey, wake up." Sam told him as I used some of my magic to get Dean's wrists out of the restraints. "Wake up, damn it. Hey. Hey."

"Auntie Em." Dean said weakly. "There's no place like home."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God! Sammy and I thought we'd lost you for a second!"

"You almost did." Dean admitted wincing a little as Kate removed the needle from his neck. "Why the Hell did they let you come?"

"Oh you'd rather they leave me alone in the motel room all by myself?" I asked him, wiping a tear away.

I had been worried _sick_ about him, and just when I was getting Dean down, the Djinn showed up and began to fight Sam, gaining the upper hand. Dean yelled and then he smiled, Kate stabbing the Djinn with the lamb's blood silver knife, and saving Sam, who smiled at her. I helped Dean to lean against me, and then he straightened up and said he could walk on his own.

I just nodded and Sam and Kate got a young woman down—one that Dean said that he recognized. We got her to the hospital and then we went back to the motel and I sat next to Dean as he thought everything over and I knew he was in pain. I didn't understand exactly what was going on, but I knew that he was definitely sad.

"Okay. Uh, well, thank you so much for the update. Okay, bye." Sam said, hanging up his phone and sitting on his bed, Kate next to him. "That was the hospital. The girl's been stabilized. Good chance she's gonna pull through."

Dean nodded. "That's good."

"Yeah." Sam admitted, and then he looked hard at Dean. "How about you? You all right?"

"Yeah, I'm all right." Dean told him. "You should have seen it, Sam—our lives. You were such a wussy."

Sam chuckled softly. "So, we didn't get along, then, huh?"

"No." Dean admitted to him.

I studied him as he got up and went to go lean on the dresser, Kate watching him too. We were both aware because of our heightened senses that he was upset and he was in great emotional pain, but neither of us knew what to say. He just looked at us and I tried to smile, but I knew that wasn't what he needed.

"I thought it was supposed to be this perfect fantasy." Sam told him.

"It wasn't—it was just a wish." Dean explained with a nod. "I wished for Mom to live. Mom never died, we never went hunting, and you and me just never, uh…you know. Hell, Lanni and I were on baby number four."

I nodded slowly—that was it. "Someday we could still potentially get to baby number four…well, maybe—that's a _lot_ of kids."

"Well, I'm glad we do." Sam told Dean, letting him know that the bonding they'd done was _very _important to him. "And I'm glad you dug yourself out, Dean. Most people wouldn't have had the strength. They would've just stayed."

"Yeah, lucky me." Dean said softly. "I got to tell you, though, man—you had Jess. Lanni and I had a happy family. Mom had grandkids and two daughter-in-laws that she adored to no end."

Sam cut in. "Yeah, but, Dean, it wasn't real."

I looked at Sam as Dean nodded, Kate's hand squeezing Sam's as Sam tried to console Dean because _I_ didn't have the words. There was nothing that I could say that would make this better for him and I just…I couldn't figure out how to talk to him. If I was so perfect for him—why couldn't I figure out what to say?

"I know…but I wanted to stay." Dean explained to him. "I wanted to stay so bad. I mean, ever since Dad…all I can think about is how much this job's cost us. We've lost so much…we've _sacrificed_ so much."

"But people are alive because of you." Sam explained and Dean made a face. "It's worth it, Dean. It is. It's not fair, and, you know, it hurts like hell, but it's worth it."

Dean looked up at Sam's pleading face slowly and I just nodded and after a moment of silence I held a finger up and left the motel room. I wanted to take that hurt away from him but how could I do that? We were hunters. We went after things that wanted to destroy us for a living and I couldn't give him that home he craved for.

"Lanni?" Dean asked me.

I smiled at him and shook my head as he went to wipe my tears away, cradling my face in his hands. It was bad enough that he was enduring the emotional pain that he was enduring, but now I was _crying_? He needed me, and I was an emotional wreck of my own and I didn't know how to fix this.

"I'm not dead." Dean told me.

I nodded slowly. "I'm _so_ happy about that, but I just…you don't think that you deserve or that you can _have_ a family and that's _all_ I want to _give_ you. I want you to feel like you have a home and a family, Dean."

"Baby, I do." Dean said, kissing me softly. "_You're_ my family…_you're_ my home…I love you."

"I made you have a chick flick moment." I told him, scrunching up my nose.

Dean smiled and kissed me softly. "I think I needed it."

"Oh, hey—the doctor's said that the baby and I are fine, but that I needed to try and reduce my stress and to make sure I got back to them if anything else happened or if the bleeding lasts very much longer." I explained to him.

Dean nodded and kissed me again, murmuring that he loved me one more time and then smiling when I gave in and just kissed him. I had him back, and he actually genuinely seemed happy to just be with me, so I really couldn't complain. He wanted to be where he was, and he wanted that with me, and I wanted him in my life…I was never letting him go—he could count on that.

**Note: This chapter was REALLY long, but I hope it made everyone happy. So much happened—Dean and Lana got married, they're having a baby, Dean saw a future he wanted that he doesn't think he can have (I LOVE Dean/Carmen but as I said before I wanted to show that in this story Lana/Dean are kind of…I don't wanna say 'destined', but kinda, yeah) but he's trying and WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS 'SWITCH'? Feedback is always appreciated!**


	50. I Can't Do This Without You

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**So we are at another chapter!**

**Yay!**

**This one is…well see for yourself.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

"_Wake up, Lanni." A familiar voice said._

_I opened my eyes to find my father sitting on the side of my bed. Not my adopted father—my biological one. He was just sitting there looking at me and honestly I didn't know why he was there or what I should do, but talking seemed my best option._

"_What the Hell are you doing here?" I asked looking around, but no one was there but me. "I'm dreaming, aren't I?"_

"_You're perceptive." He told me, and smiled. "Then again, you are my eldest."_

"_Can you just tell me what the Hell you want, and let me wake up?" I asked._

"_But where's the fun in that?" He asked me._

_I gave him a look. "Will you spill it out already?"_

_He nodded at me and reached out, touching my stomach and I flinched, which just made him smile at me. I didn't know where he was getting off __**touching **__my stomach or __**me **__for that matter, but he was acting like this was normal._

"_That kid of yours is really gonna be something." He told me._

_I got out of the bed and I backed away. "What is that supposed to mean?"_

"_It means that he can't be touched." He replied with a large grin. "He's going to be a very special boy, your son. Why do you think I've left you alive? With the demon powers this child will have, I don't even need your sister anymore."_

"_You leave Annie alone!" I yelled at him._

_He chuckled at me. "Oh Lanni, Lanni, Lanni—Annie is dead."_

"_What?" I asked._

_He nodded swiftly. "Ava picked her off."_

"_What the Hell are you talking about?" I asked him strongly. "I will kill you."_

"_Well when you wake up, you can keep hunting me all you want, sweetheart." He told me. "I'm getting everything that it is that I need."_

_I swallowed at that because somehow I knew it was true and that he was here for a reason and I didn't understand what reason. Was he just here to make me feel like I was actually making the wrong decision procreating like this? Maybe if I just let him talk before I woke up, I'd get my answers—duh, Lana._

"_What do you want? You just come and invade my dream to tell me my sister was dead?" I asked angrily._

_He shook his head. "No…I need you to bring Sammy to me."_

"_In your dreams." I told him, glaring at him._

"_You'll know the way when you get there." The demon replied. "And you'll do it graciously. Annie would have wanted you to."_

_I slapped him and he just chuckled. The scenery around us changed, and I saw Annie's body lying on the ground, ripped to shreds and my heart felt like it had been broken. I knelt down, touching her limp body, and the tears spilled out of my eyes. I suddenly felt rage, and a twinge of revenge, and then my eyes flashed yellow as I accepted the feelings—wanted to kill._

"_Welcome to my side." My father whispered. "And remember—that son of yours is going to be a weapon used in the coming war—and he won't be on the side of good."_

I opened my eyes, breathing a little deeper, and I felt it—the demon part was in more control—practically _complete_ control. It actually felt kind of good to have so much power coursing through my veins and I turned over to see Dean lying there, and I smiled a bit, and then my phone rang. When I picked it up, a familiar voice greeted me and I knew that thought things had changed, I was just fine.

"Hey, Lan." Jen said quickly.

"Hi, Jenny." I responded merrily, getting up and moving my call into the bathroom so as not to disturb the boys. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I wanted to check in—see how everything was." Jen replied.

I nodded and stroked my stomach. "Everything's terrific. Actually, I have some news for you."

"Yeah?" Jen asked me.

"I think I'm having a boy!" I told her merrily, my smile a little evil.

Jen was silent for a moment and I knew the exact conversation that we were going to have before she spoke to me again. There was no way for me to tell yet—it was far too early on in my pregnancy—but I just knew. My father hadn't just come to me to flip a switch…there was a plan set in motion and I was part of it.

"Honey you're what," Jen asked, going over to her calendar, I knew it, "you're only 9 weeks along right now! You can't know, yet!"

I nodded and then smirked. "Dad came to me in a dream and told me."

"What?" Jen asked me hurriedly.

"Yeah, it scared me too, but he came and told me I was having a son." I explained to her.

"Okay, but do you think that he said that to throw you off?" Jen asked me.

I turned around and saw Kate opening up the bathroom door. "Hey, Kate is up and I'm sure that means Sam's at least up since they share a bed now, so I'll call you back with the details okay? I love you."

I hung up on her and smiled at Kate, her blushing but I waved it off and told her I was just making a call. Then I let her have the bathroom and I smiled at Dean, going over and climbing onto the bed with him. Dean lifted up the blanket for me and I got on top of him, smiling at him and kissing him as I tucked my hair behind my ears.

"I love you." I whispered to him.

He smiled and stroked my cheek. "Sometimes I wish we had our own motel room."

"That's so sweet." I said, kissing him again.

"Were you talking to Jen?" Dean asked me.

I nodded slowly. "She said Annie's still missing."

"I'm sorry, Baby." Dean told me, stroking my hair.

"It's okay. I know we'll find her." I said with a small shrug.

Dean made a face at me but kissed me back as Sam finished getting dressed and rolled his eyes at us. I knew it had something to do with me being a little more evil now, but I just smiled at him and stole a quick kiss from him again. He knew something was up but I wasn't acting like anything was wrong, even though he was asking me if I was all right with his eyes.

"I'm fine, Baby." I replied, and kissed him again. "We should probably hit the road, though."

Dean nodded, and got up, both of us getting dressed, Sam reading a newspaper as Kate came out of the bathroom fully clothed. She brushed her hair as I sat next to Sam, looking at me funny like she knew something was wrong. I just smiled though and Sam stroked my hair, nudging me in the ribs softly.

"Someone's happy this morning." Sam told me.

"I guess so." I said, and then I got up and grabbed my jacket. "You guys up for some food and then a hunt, or what?"

"You're a little…jazzed." Dean told me.

I needed to tone it down a notch, so I shrugged. "I guess I feel like I have to do this—it may get us closer to finding Annie and bringing her around."

Honestly I didn't know why I felt so jazzed about this—yeah I'd been feeling different since I had woken up, but not _too _different. I mean I didn't feel as in control of my own actions, but…that didn't mean I should be _too _worried, right? Of course not, so I pulled the sad face, and Dean kissed me again, stroking my stomach.

"Fine—but you stay out of this fight." He told me firmly. "I seriously mean it, Lanni."

I nodded and held my hands up in surrender. "Sure thing."

He smiled and grabbed his jacket, the four of us loading up the car and taking off. I knew that we had to veer off soon, and so I pointed to an exit and we got off, parking in front of a cafe. All right so I was feeling like I wasn't in control at _all_…that was _definitely _a reason to worry since I felt like suddenly my body was doing what _it_ wanted to do and not what _I_ wanted it to do.

"Don't forget my extra onions this time, okay dude?" Dean said, handing Sam the money as we stopped off at a diner that night.

"Dude, we're the ones that have to ride in the car with you and your extra onions." Sam told him, and I smiled as Kate laughed a little, her laptop open.

I looked at Sam. "You know? I could use a coffee."

"No." Dean said firmly, shaking his head. "Bad for the baby."

I bit my lip. "Fine, then…coffee.""

"Lanni…" Dean chastised.

"It's perfectly okay to have a little bit in the first trimester." I protested earnestly feeling the darker side keep the control for herself. "Just a small latte is fine."

Sam nodded, and flashed me a smile, which I knew I was supposed to return, so I did and then he asked Kate what she wanted. She smiled at him and then told him she could go for a burger, and Sam nodded. Then he glanced at me because he thought I was acting strangely but he couldn't prove anything. Besides, I wasn't possessed—Holy Water wasn't going to have any affect on me.

"Hey, see if they have any pie." Dean told Sam as he got out of the car, and Sam gave him a look before shutting the door and heading towards the cafe. "Bring me some pie! Bring me some pie."

I smirked—it was weird that even with the demon side in control, Dean still made me hot for him. He turned and looked at me, and I smiled, knowing that at about this moment, Sam was being carted off, and then the part that wasn't evil started to fight back—and she was feisty. I made a face—Lana cared about Sam and with Kate stirring a little, it was only a matter of time anyway.

"Something's wrong." I found myself saying.

Dean looked up to see that the place was looking deserted, and the radio began to play static. Dean got up and ran towards the cafe, Kate right behind him, and I got out of the car slowly, shutting the door behind me, and leaning on it. The better part of me may have been fighting back, but the eviler part was definitely in control and this was all she wanted—she wanted to do what her father _wanted_ her to do.

When Dean came out calling Sam's name, I pretended to be looking for him, and Dean never noticed the difference. You'd think that he'd notice that his wife wasn't in the least bit worried about where Sam had been carted off too—at least the part in control wasn't worried. The part that was still good was hurting and Kate was looking at me like she knew what was up and it was worrying the eviler part of me.

"We have to find Bobby." Dean told me.

I nodded and we drove for a ways until we got to Bobby's, Kate looking at me the entire time, studying me and my behaviors. By the time we did make it to Bobby, it was getting light outside, and we were driving around until I told them to stop and look at the map—again, _good_ Lana's doing.

"This is it—all demonic signs and omens in the last months." Bobby informed Dean.

"You've got to be joking. There's nothing here." Dean protested loudly.

Bobby nodded at him. "Exactly."

"Come on, there's gotta be something. I mean what about, uh, low level stuff like exorcisms—that kind of thing?" Dean asked him.

I got out of the Impala and I leaned against the side, listening to Bobby and Dean talk to each other. Good Lana wanted to speak up and say something about where she thought they were, but I was keeping her quiet this time. Kate got out of the car and she looked at me, taking a deep breath.

"Something's up with you…I can feel it." Kate told me. "I don't know what it is yet, but I'm going to figure it out…do you know something, Lan?"

"That's what I'm telling you. There's nothing. It's completely quiet." Bobby explained to Dean.

Dean was getting annoyed. "How the Hell are we supposed to look for Sam? Just close our eyes and point?"

"Ash?" I asked as Dean's phone rang, and he nodded and answered it as I turned to Kate. "I don't know anything."

"Yeah…but you're lying." She replied softly.

I made a face at her and she studied it, firmly standing by her belief that she knew me well enough to know when I was telling the truth and when I wasn't. It was probably true enough, but I wanted her to believe I didn't know anything. I looked up at Dean and the helpless look on his face made me feel a little something inside, but Evil Lana wasn't budging—not at all.

"Come on man, you gotta give us something! We're looking a 3,000 mile wide haystack here!" Dean protested helplessly. "Well, what? Come on, man, I don't have time for this!"

Dean got off of the phone and looked at Kate, me and Bobby. I guess we're going to the Roadhouse—come on."

I sighed as Dean got into the car, and then got in myself, Bobby giving me a weird look and I sighed loudly because was I really acting _that _differently? I sat in the back as we drove there, and when we got there, we were all stunned—even all the different sides of me. The Roadhouse was burnt down to the ground.

Bobby and Dean waded through the bodies while I stayed by the car, Kate e-mailing someone—I didn't know who. Things were getting heavier here and suppressing Lana wouldn't last forever. Ellen had been part of her family was far as she was concerned, and as soon as Dean said Ash was dead, Good Lana started to try and fight back, but I suppressed her for now…just for now.

"God, what the Hell did Ash know? And we have no way of knowing where Ellen is—or if she's even alive." Dean said dismally. "We have no clue what the Hell Ash was trying to tell us. Now, how the Hell do we find Sam?"

"We'll find him." I assured him, Bobby nodding.

Kate smiled at him softly. "No matter what, Dean…we're going to find Sam."

Bobby smiled at Kate, and then he looked at me and he wanted desperately to figure out why I wasn't comforting Dean. It was all in the look and I realized that in order to keep up this charade, I had to comfort him—tell him it was all going to be all right and stroke his hair or something. As I started for him though, Dean suddenly looked incredibly miffed, and then pain shot through both of our heads.

"Dean? Lana?" Bobby asked us.

"Ow!" I cried like a little girl. "Ow!"

At least Dean was taking it like a man—here I was, Evil Lana, and I couldn't even take the pain searing through my head without whining about it. The pain in my head was rather searing, and then images began to flash in…there was a bell. It all meant something and I needed to put it all together…

"What was that?" Bobby asked us.

"I dunno." Dean said, trying to compose himself. "Headache?"

"You get headaches like that a lot? At the same time as Lana?" Bobby asked skeptically.

I shook my head. "No."

"It could just be the stress." Dean said, and chuckled.

"I'm pretty sure I saw something." I told them, wondering why I was helping.

"You mean—like a vision?" Bobby asked me. "You mean like what Sam gets?"

"What? No! We're not psychics! It's called a coincidence." Dean said firmly.

"Ow!" I yelled again. "Ow!"

I banged my fist against the car as Bobby reached over and touched Dean's shoulder. I banged my fist against it again, and Bobby seemed scared as I leaned over and put my hands on the ground, breathing deeply, and Dean rested his head on the car, a flash of Sam and a bell coming to me.

"Stupid bitch, Andy—I touched that receipt too." I muttered into the dirt. "Couldn't have picked something that just Dean touched, could you?"

"You guys still with me?" Bobby asked us.

I nodded as Kate helped me to stand. "Yeah."

"Sam. I saw him." Dean said firmly.

"So it was a vision." Bobby told him.

Dean nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"And it bloody hurt." I said, leaning on the car.

"I don't know how—but yeah. That was a vision. Whew! That was about as much fun as getting kicked in the jewels." Dean said with a nod.

I nodded quickly. "God I hope childbirth is a walk in the park compared to that—I mean I doubt it, but a girl can dream."

"What else did you see?" Bobby asked us.

"There, uh, was a bell." Dean replied.

Bobby nodded at that. "What kind of bell?"

"Well, uh—it was big." Dean told him. "Like a big—a big bell."

I sighed but smiled a little. "There was an oak tree on it—he's in Cold Oak, South Dakota…the most haunted ghost town in the world."

Bobby nodded and got into the passenger seat of the car, Kate getting into the back, Dean stroking my hair. He wanted to make sure that I was all right because I was his wife and he loved me and I was pregnant and I just let it happen. I couldn't be caught flinching away at this moment, and I knew that I needed him to think I was me and fine for now.

"Do you know how we were contacted?" Dean asked me.

I nodded slowly. "Remember Andy?"

"Of course—he took the Impala." Dean said with a nod.

I smiled a little. "Well, he tried his telepathy long distance, and we got visions. They hurt like Hell though."

Dean nodded, and we drove to South Dakota, getting there in the dead of night, knowing that Sam would be there. We had to stop because of a fallen tree, and we got out to look at it, a feeling of panic suddenly entering me. That was it—I was done being coy. We were where we needed to be, and I was in control now.

"This is stupid." I said suddenly.

Dean turned to me. "What is?"

"Trying to find Sam—the demon has him anyway." I told him with a smile and a shrug. "We took Sam right to that diner and he was kidnapped and now he's falling _directly_ into Daddy's plan."

Dean shot me a look and Bobby took his gun and pointed it at me, Kate's eyes widening. She knew that she had been right all along that something was wrong, but she hadn't even _thought_ about the switch. She had been far too worried about Sam and Sam's well-being to be thinking about the switch.

"We have to go on foot, Dean. Grab some weapons, and I'll take care of her." Bobby instructed Dean.

"Take care of her? Bobby! She's my wife!" Dean protested, stopping in his tracks.

"DEAN!" Bobby roared, and Dean grabbed the weapons but didn't walk.

"So my demon side took over. What do you care?" I asked Bobby. "I mean Annie's dead—what more did I have to live for?"

"Wait, slow down—what?" Dean asked me.

I just smiled. "Daddy put her to the test, and she failed. Ava killed her easily. Ava's been in the top running but Daddy really wants Sammy."

"Dean! Go to your brother!" Bobby told him.

"Oh, Bobby—we can all go together." I told him, cocking my gun and starting to walk forward. "Shall we?"

"This is so not my day." Dean said with a sigh. "How could I not have known?"

Dean took a deep breath and looked at me, Kate stepping close to me and holding her hand out for the gun. I looked at her because there was no way I was handing over my source of protection, but I understood it would make _her _feel better, and probably Bobby and Dean too.

"Look, I'm still Lana. It's not like I'm possessed or anything—this is just my demon half showing its true colors and I don't have a beef with you guys—I'm just following Daddy's orders." I explained to them.

Dean swallowed. "Your switch?"

"My switch." I repeated with a nod. "After Daddy came to me in my dream and told me about Annie and showed me her body, I snapped. Now I'm just as evil as he is—okay, well, give or take. He has plans for me apparently…are you gonna shoot me?"

Dean and he shook his head as I looked at him. "If the demon's here—then you'll be back to normal when I kill him."

"Kill him?" I asked, and then laughed. "That's hilarious."

"Keep walking." Dean said hostilely, and I just laughed and continued until we saw Sam.

"Sam! Sam."

Sam turned around and began to walk towards us. "Dean!"

Sam had said it rather happily and he looked like his night was so much better now that we were around. I felt Good Lana squirm a bit, and I knew she was ready to break through because my hold on her was weakening. All it took was the other psychic, Jake, to get up with the knife in his hand and go for Sam to break my grasp, my good side completely back in control.

"SAM! LOOK OUT!" I cried loudly.

I don't know what did it, but Bobby and Dean running towards him, and Jake actually stabbing Sam, made me feel normal again. I was back in control because…because I loved Sam enough—cared enough—needed to save him enough—to put the evil side in better perspective—to restrain it.

"NO!" Dean cried, running toward him. "NO!"

Sam fell down to his knees, and I found the strength to run to them, but collapsed and started to cry. Kate fell to her knees next to Dean and I, reaching out and stroking Sam's hair as Dean grabbed a hold of Sam's jacket. Bobby took off running after Jake, and I reached out and held Kate to me as Dean looked at Sam.

"Sam! Whoa, Sam. Sam. Sam. Hey. Let me look at you." Dean said, holding him steady, and then he felt his back, and I looked at the blood on his hands, and wanted to throw up I was so distraught. "Hey. Look at me. Look at me. It's not even that bad. It's not even that bad, all right?"

I took a deep breath, and I looked at Sammy as he seemed to slip away, clutching Kate as she sobbed into me. It hurt me so much not just that Sam was dying, but that Kate was feeling so broken about this. How the Hell was Dean feeling right now? Sam was Dean's _brother_—his _little brother_. It was almost like reliving Annie's death all over again…the feeling of not being able to save your own sibling…

"Sam! Sammy? We're gonna patch you up, okay?" Dean told Sam. "You'll be good as new. Huh? Listen to me. I'm gonna take care of you. I'm gonna take care of you. I got you. That's my job. Watch out for my pain-in-the-ass-little brother. Sam. Sam? Sam! Sammy!" Dean cried. "No. No, No, No. Oh, god." Dean said, holding Sam tightly. "Oh...Oh, God." He said, and I touched Sam's arm, wishing I could do something, but I couldn't—I couldn't heal Sam.

Part of this was all of my fault, and I couldn't even move—I couldn't say anything. I couldn't think straight because everything had happened. This was Sammy—_my_ Sammy…_Dean's _Sammy…_Kate's _Sammy. Where the Hell was Jake? That son of a bitch was gonna pay for what he did to Sam…I hoped that Bobby had hunted him down because watching Sam die in Dean's arms was the most painful thing I had ever witnessed.

"Sam!" Dean cried, and he started to cry…we all just cried.

xxxx

We were in an abandoned house, and all the psychics Sam had been with, were dead. Ava. Andy. All of them—even Sam. Well…all of them except Jake. Jake was the only one I cared about finding too because I wanted to make him pay for what he had done. I wanted to avenge what had happened while I was under the influence of my father…before my love and need for Sam helped me to break free.

"Bobby's getting food." I told Dean gingerly.

I had cried as much as I thought I could, and Dean still looked at Sam's body while Kate tried to keep herself occupies. She had already said some words to Sam's corpse and then she just steered clear of the room because it hurt her too much, but Dean…Dean couldn't get _away_ from the room. He just stared at Sam's corpse. Kept his eyes fixated there. I wanted to move him, cover him with a sheet or something, but Dean refused, and I let him do what he wanted.

"Yeah." Dean replied softly.

It was his turn to grieve—I couldn't this time. I wasn't allowed to hold out in my room and have a good cry…I wasn't allowed to be weak in front of Dean. He needed me to be strong right now, and it was hard—especially being pregnant on top of it all. I only got to cry when I knew Dean wouldn't be around to hear it. I still blamed myself for all of it, and surprisingly—Dean blamed himself. After all of this, he still took it all upon himself and he shouldn't.

"Is there anything that I can do for you?" I asked him, slowly brushing my hand against his, smiling a little when he grasped my hand firmly. "Baby…what can I do?"

Dean just hung his head and nodded slowly, taking me into another room and I was surprised that he had left Sam's side. At the same time, I wasn't surprised at all when he kissed me, slowly helping us down onto the floor. It was an abandoned house, with no bed, and no sheets, and an old floor, but if this was what he needed…then this was what I was going to help him with to get his mind off of Sam.

We skipped right over any kind of foreplay because he needed to feel better and I knew that, our clothes coming off easily. I laid back on the old rug on the floor since we were alone in the room with the door closed, and Dean kissed me as he rested his naked body on mine. I held him close, one hand in his hair supporting the back of his head, and I nodded, rocking myself up again him slowly and softly as a tear splashed on my cheek.

"I'm here." I whispered to him and he nodded, kissing me back harder. "Baby, I'm here."

I wanted to tell him that it was okay, but I knew that it wasn't—Sam was dead so it was definitely _not_ okay. Dean had lost so much in his life and the fact that he had lost his brother—the one thing in his life he felt honestly and truly solely responsible for—made everything that much worse. Sam's death was hard on everyone, but it was the hardest on Dean and nothing I could say or do would make that better…all I could do was numb the pain for a little while.

"I couldn't save him." Dean told me, looking me in the eye and stroking my cheek as I cradled his face lovingly, looking up at him as the tears came.

I nodded, biting my lip to keep the tears in. "I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to save him for you."

"Lanni…Baby…" Dean said, shaking his head and kissing me, running his lips along mine as he spoke. "If anything, your love for him broke through your darker side…Baby, this isn't your fault—it's your father's."

"Yeah, but I wasn't strong enough to break through until it was too late." I reminded him, kissing him when he smiled at me sadly.

This whole thing with words wasn't working and we both knew it, so he just ran his fingers along my stomach and pushed in without any warning. I welcomed the feeling and the movement of his body against mine, using my hips to match every thrust he gave, helping to set the rhythm. We were mostly silent the rest of the time, only making noises when our releases hit and we had to, and then Dean rested against me, his face in the nape of my neck after he pulled out.

We were both pretty silent, just holding each other, not able to fall asleep or anything right then. It was a just a long period of time where we needed to feel close to each other, and once we were both feeling like it was time to get up because Bobby would be there soon we both just kind of nodded. Feeling his chest heave against me and feeling his heartbeat pounding was nice, but I understood when he pulled back, kissed my stomach and then me and then got up to get dressed.

"Thank you for being here, Lanni." Dean whispered to me.

I smiled and started getting dressed myself, really wishing I could have a shower or something, but this place didn't allow for that. When we were both dressed I caught Dean's hand, and he slowly turned to look at me, pain still in his eyes. I reached up and stroked his cheek, leaning up and kissing Dean softly, glad he responded to me even though I knew he felt broken inside.

"I love you, Dean Winchester." I told him firmly. "I love you, and I am never going to leave you…I'm here."

Dean nodded and rested his hand on my stomach, kissing me tenderly. "I appreciate that so much more than you know, Lanni."

I nodded and kissed him again, both of us heading back out, Dean taking his original position looking at Sam. I went to find Kate instead, wrapping my arms around her—she was beyond tears now…she just felt so broken and numb. It was just starting to get good for them and any time now I had expected Sam to ask her to be his girlfriend…how could this happen to them?

"What can I do for _you_?" I asked Kate softly.

Kate snuggled into me more. "I should be asking _you_ that…you were closer to him."

"But _you_ were falling for him." I whispered, kissing her head.

Kate nodded against me and took in a shaky breath, making me hold her even tighter to let her know she would always have me. She and I had been through some serious crap this year, and we need to be there for each other no matter what. We were family, and we needed to know that the other one was always going to be there for one of us to turn to, and that's how it was going to be—I could promise her that.

"Dean?" Bobby asked, coming in the door. "I brought you this—Lana says you need to eat."

Bobby set the bucket of chicken down as Kate let go of me, and went to check it out, me going over to Bobby. He looked at me with sad eyes and pulled me to him when I bit my lip, stroking my hair and holding me protectively and I was so very thankful for him. Then Bobby glanced over at Dean and I felt his whole body tense up a little, and the pain coming off of him was just…so much.

"No thanks. I'm fine." Dean replied, and I let go of Bobby, squeezing his hand.

"You should eat something." Bobby told him gently.

"I said I'm fine." Dean said firmly and I sighed softly.

I didn't know what it was that I could say that Bobby wasn't already saying and it hurt me when Dean came over to his beer from before and took another chug. It seemed like that was the only thing that Dean had been consuming in his grief: beer. He just needed to eat something and potentially…let us bury Sammy…but it was almost too early to be asking Dean that right now.

"Dean…I know this is the wrong time, I do…but don't you think it's about time we…bury Sam?" Bobby asked him.

Dean looked at him hard. "No."

"We could, maybe…" Bobby said, sighing and trailing off, not able to continue with his sentence.

"What—torch his corpse?" Dean asked, sitting down.

I turned to them. "Kate and I could see if Jenny was up to resurrecting him."

Kate glanced up at me as she grabbed some chicken, wondering why _she_ hadn't thought about that before. Bobby looked at me with a look on my face that told me I shouldn't have brought it up, and at first I couldn't figure out how _Dean_ felt about that. In fact I hadn't even really given it much thought but Dean was in so much pain and it wasn't like we _couldn't_ resurrect Sam…

"Yeah, cause that turned out beautifully." Dean said angrily and I nodded and sat down, looking at my lap. "No."

Bobby leaned over the table. "I want you to come with me."

"I'm not going anywhere." Dean protested, the pain still _very_ evident in his voice.

"Dean, please." Bobby practically begged him.

Dean looked at him sadly. "Why don't you cut me some slack?"

"I just don't want you three to have to be alone like this, is all." Bobby explained to us." I just—I admit that I could really use your help." Dean scoffed, and Bobby continued. "Something big is going down. End-of-the-world big."

"Then let it end!" Dean cried, and I closed my eyes and swallowed, wishing he wasn't making the tears come again.

"You don't mean that." Bobby told him plainly.

Dean got up. "You don't think so? You don't think I've given enough? You don't think I've paid enough? I'm done with it—all of it…and if you know what's good for you, you'll turn around and get the Hell out of here."

I turned around to look at Dean in Bobby's face, and then flinched a little when Dean yelled at him to go, and pushed him a little. He looked sorry though, and Bobby looked a little miffed. Dean didn't know how he could deal with Sam's death…he'd had his mother taken from him, his father who had given his soul to let Dean live, and then I'd died and been brought back and now Sam?

"I'm sorry." Dean told him. "I'm sorry. Please just go."

Bobby nodded and sighed, turning towards the door. "You know where I'll be."

I nodded and thanked him, wishing I could volunteer to help Bobby but I couldn't do that—I was pregnant and more importantly, Dean needed me. Kate looked like she wanted to go, but she couldn't find it in her to get up and leave Sam either. Sadly enough, Kate and I understood the pain that Dean was going through…we knew what it was like to have our family members picked off one by one.

"I have to go outside." I said, and headed for the door.

"I'm sorry I'm scaring you." Dean told me.

I stopped in my tracks and I shook my head, not looking at him as the tears started to come again. It honestly wasn't his fault that I had to distance myself right then at all—I just felt like I had to be strong and I needed to cry. I needed to cry and he really didn't need that and since I couldn't stop the tears from coming, I needed to just get out of the house and clear my thoughts on my own.

"You're not scaring me, Sweetheart. I just—I can't be in here right now." I explained to him, closing my eyes as he wrapped his arms around me.

Dean rested his head against mine. "Are you crying?"

I wanted so badly to lie to him right then and tell him that I just needed the air but I couldn't do that. I couldn't lie to him for one, and I knew that the second I started to speak, my voice would betray me anyway and then he'd feel bad that I felt like I needed to lie. Yeah, I knew it was all right to cry and I knew he would understand, but I was just not as broken as him right then…I knew that.

"I can't do this in front of you. You're hurting enough." I told him, and he turned me to face him, looking me in the eye.

"Hey…we have to trust each other here…you're all I have left." He said softly, his voice strained and hurt.

I nodded, and stroked his cheek, kissing him softly. "Baby, I trust you more than anyone…I don't want you to ever doubt that."

"I don't." Dean replied, kissing me gently. "I know you mean it."

"I'll leave you be." I said as our lips parted.

Dean nodded, and I went into the other room, leaning against the wall, and listening to Dean talk to Sam's body as I cried silently, praying ever so softly. This was such a terrible situation that we were in and I needed to figure out how to help Dean with this and had the feeling I needed to talk to Sam about it but then I remembered that I couldn't and I couldn't stop the tears. Sam was my family—he honestly was—and now I'd lost him too and I just had to cry.

"You know when we were little—you couldn't have been more than 5—you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a Mom? Why did we always have to move around? Where'd Dad go when he took off for days at a time? I remember I begged you—'Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know'." Dean chuckled softly. "I just wanted you to be a kid…just a little while longer. I always tried to protect you…keep you safe. Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just, my responsibility, you know? It was like I had one job…one job…and I screwed it up." He said his voice breaking. "I blew it…and for that, I'm sorry." He said, pausing, his voice broken. "I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. I let Lana down—that woman needs so much more than I can give her. And I suppose I'm just supposed to let you down, too? How can I? How am I supposed to live with that? What am I supposed to do? Sammy?" Dean asked, crying now. "God. What am I supposed to do?" He inhaled sharply and stood up, kicking the table. "What am I supposed to do?"

He got into the Impala, and I came out of the room just in time to see him drive off in his panic, Kate crying as she ate her chicken. I wanted to tell him that he hadn't screwed up or let John, Sam and I down, but I couldn't. He had to take a drive—clear his head—and I had yet to say my goodbye. So after I kissed Kate and held her close for a few moments, I let go and went into the room where Sam was, and I sat down, looking at his body. I tried to compose myself, but I was going to break anyway and I knew I couldn't stop it.

"Hey, Sammy." I started out. "Wow. Um…I guess I didn't really figure out what I was going to say until…well until it came down to actually saying it. I miss you. I miss you so much—we all do. Kate is so broken up about this because that girl loves you in a way that I was never able to manage because I love Dean like that." I admitted to him, the tears leaking out already. "I can't believe how much to blame I am for all of this. I let the evil inside of me take over, and I liked it—I liked all of that power until I saw that you were getting caught in the crossfire…you just mean so much to me, Sammy. The demon? My Dad? He keeps visiting me in my dreams—he knows I'm not under his hold anymore…doesn't know what else to use to snap me. Apparently my love for you and Dean is too much for evil to take over right now but still…man, this isn't what I wanted to talk to you about at all." I said, smiling a bit through my tears. "I love you. I always have and I always will the exact same way that you and I talked about. I just—I still need you. Who do I go to now? You're my family, Sammy. What am I supposed to do without you? What are Dean and I supposed to do without you?"

I was about to say something else when Sam's eyes shot open, and he suddenly seemed to have so much more color to him. He sat up, gasping a little, and I sat there, stunned wanting to call out for Kate but the words that _did_ come out of my mouth were so much more jumbled and focused on Sam.

"Oh my dear sweet Jesus." I said, and then I reached out and touched him gingerly. "Do you feel that?"

Sam nodded at me. "Yes."

"Oh my dear sweet Jesus!" I exclaimed, and hugged him. "Oh my God! I love you!"

I threw my arms around him, Kate running in when she heard noises and standing in the doorway for a moment. I turned to her and then watched as she hurried to Sam, kissing him firmly on the mouth, Sam responding, holding her close even though he was wincing a bit. He wanted to be close to her, and she wanted to be close to him and I was so happy that he was alive…that Sam was _alive_.

Then I realized that there was practically no explanation for this—Sam was dead. He had been lying there for hours…how could he just suddenly wake up? There was no good explanation for it and I was racking my brain, trying to make sure that I had all of my information correct. Then Dean came in a little bit later as Kate and Sam had their arms wrapped around each other, me running my fingers through Sam's hair, and we just let go of Sam—let Dean come over and hug Sam tightly.

"Sammy. Thank God." Dean told him.

"Ow." Sam winced. "Um…Dean…"

"I'm sorry, Man. I'm sorry." Dean replied, and pulled away, and I raised an eyebrow—something serious was going on here. "I'm just glad to see you up and around is all."

Sam nodded slowly. "Dean…what happened to me?"

"Well, uh…what do you remember?" Dean asked him.

"I—I saw you, Lan and Bobby, and then…I felt this sharp pain. This uh, really hot, you know? Then you started running at me, and that's about it." Sam explained to him.

Dean nodded. "Yeah…that uh—that kid stabbed you in the back. You lost a lot of blood. It was pretty touch and go for a while."

"But, Dean—you can't patch up a wound that bad." Sam told him. "And neither can Lan, as skilled as she is."

"No, Bobby could." Dean said, and I knew something was up.

Dean was lying through his teeth, and I was going to get to the bottom of it because I had a feeling this wasn't going to end well. Sam had been dead, Dean had run off, and now all of a sudden Sam was up and about? Kate looked pretty suspicious too, but mostly she was just happy—she had Sam back and that was really all that mattered to her.

"I have to go and talk to Bobby since Jake disappeared into the woods, and I want a piece of him still." I told him, and Dean looked at me.

"Uh—how about we all eat—you want to eat?" Dean asked Sam, Kate and I.

I gave him a look. "Yeah…sure."

"I'm starving." Dean said, and got us a lot of food, Sam going over the events with us.

The demon had gathered all the psychics together to battle it out and see who came out on top. I knew it was Jake, but Sam was stuck on why he and Jake both got to live—that happened to be my question too. As wonderful as it was to have Sam back again, Dean did something, and I couldn't figure out what. I was normally on top of things, but I just couldn't place anything because I had too many emotions running through me at once right then.

"I have to call Jen." I told Dean, and I called Jen when I got outside.

"Hey, Lan." Jen said dismally—I had already told her about Sam being dead.

"I have great news—Sam is alive." I explained, and I looked at the door to make sure no one was listening.

"What?" Jen asked me after a pause.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…suddenly he sat up while I saw having my goodbye speech. Dean did something. He's acting like Sam was just wounded. I don't get it."

"I'm going to hurt your husband." Jen told me.

I sat down, my back against the house. "Oh not before I do. This is big. What would possibly…no!"

No, he couldn't have done this to me—not now. Not like this. As everything fit together in my head, I realized that there was one and _only_ one explanation. But how could he? How could he have done that? I understood his pain, I did, but how was _this_ the answer? Especially now—especially with a baby coming!

"No, what?" Jen asked me.

I stood up. "What if he made a deal?"

"You mean like at a crossroads?" Jen asked suddenly very alert.

"Oh my God, Jenny…what if Dean made a deal?" I asked her sadly.

"You have to ask him." Jen told me.

I nodded. "I fully intend to. I'll call you back, okay? I love you."

"I love you too." Jen told me, and hung up.

I looked up as Sam, Kate and Dean came out of the house, and Sam told me that we were headed to Bobby's. We got into the Impala, Dean sending me a couple looks in the rear-view mirror, but I wasn't happy with him. If he'd made a deal, I didn't know what I would do. I loved Sammy—I wanted Sammy back to and I was glad he was—but deals were dangerous…you ensured yourself a spot in Hell. I just looked at my knees until we got to Bobby's and knocked on the door. When Bobby opened the door, he did a double-take with Sam.

"Hey, Bobby." Dean told him.

"Hey, Bobby." Sam chorused, and I gave a little wave as Kate swallowed.

Bobby was miffed. "Sam. It's…nice to see you up and about."

Sam smiled at him. "Yeah, well…thanks for patching me up."

"Don't mention it." Bobby said lamely as Sam walked past him, and he gave Dean a look.

"Well, Sam's better, and we're back in it now. So…what do you know?" Dean asked Bobby, not wanting to dwell on anything.

Sam looked at Bobby and Dean questioningly, and then Bobby sat us down and started talking about the demonic omens that had suddenly been occurring. They all seemed to be in Wyoming, but not in this one circle in the middle and he wanted to know why. It was a very good question, but I wanted to talk to my husband and figure out what the Hell was going on around here with him…and how Sam was alive.

"Sam, would you take a look at it? Maybe you can catch something I couldn't. Come on, Dean. I got some more books in the truck. Help me lug them in." Bobby said, and I just elected to stay with Sam and Kate, and Sam looked at me when they left.

"What was that all about?" He asked me.

I looked down at the map and tried to make a happy face, but it wasn't working. "Dean's—he's been a bit reckless since you got hurt. For a while there, I thought I was losing him. It's a good thing you recovered."

I swallowed down the words and I felt the pain rise in me—I _hated_ lying to Sam and yet…I didn't have facts. If I wanted proof, then I would have to get it from Dean, which meant I had to get out and talk to my husband.

"How are you?" Sam asked me and Kate and I couldn't help but laugh—he was actually asking _us_ how _we_ were.

Kate held his hand. "I'm doing much better now that you're up and about again."

"I'm okay. I mean I'm not terrific, but I'll be okay." I told him, stroking his hair briefly. "Now take a look at the map. I want to go and help Bobby."

Sam nodded and I went outside, seeing Bobby and Dean in quite a mess and it was breaking me—the book thing was a rouse and I was _so_ off reading people right now. Bobby was crying and holding on to Dean's jacket rather tightly, very much in his face, and not at all happy. It made my suspicion even more clear and I couldn't stop any of the words that started coming out of my mouth.

"What the Hell did you do?" I asked him. "Something was up as soon as Sam came to. What the Hell did you do?"

"Nothing." Dean said with a shrug.

"You're the worst liar." I told him firmly, the tears brimming. "You made a deal, didn't you?"

Dean swallowed, looking pained. "Lanni—"

"—Don't call me that!" I yelled at him. "I get your love for your brother, and I get that you wanted him back—we all did—but selling your soul? How much time did you get?"

Dean took a breath. "Is that really—"

"—HOW MUCH TIME?" I asked again.

"One year." He said after a pause.

I stood there, the tears filling my eyes, and I nodded, biting my lip as a tear rolled down my cheek. The rest of them just kept coming as it all sank in—Dean had exactly one year to live and then I lost him forever…how was that even fair? How in the world could I live without him? Live with our _child _without him? Dean started to come towards me, and I held up my hand, not wanting him to come any closer because as broken as I was feeling, I was _beyond_ pissed off.

"Don't." I told him firmly.

"I had to do it for Sam!" Dean protested earnestly.

I nodded slowly. "I know—I get that, and I think that by now you should understand that I get that you had to have Sam. He's your brother…he's your family…but right now I want you to just leave me alone, Dean. We're having a baby and you're going to be dead in a _year_. What am I supposed to tell our kid, huh?"

"Lanni…" Dean said, trailing off as I shook my head, feeling rather queasy as I kicked the nearby car.

"You're leaving me alone to deal with a baby, Dean! In seven months I'm going to have a baby! That gives you, what? Five months to be in its life? What the Hell were you thinking? I can't do this without you." I admitted dismally dropping to the ground. "What about Sam? What will he say when he finds out?"

"We're not telling him." Dean said firmly, trying to come closer, but I held my hand up again.

"You're not even going to tell him?" I asked him, looking up at him and then I swallowed. "We could try again."

I didn't know why I was proposing it, but it made sense to me in my head and it could potentially work. I mean if Dean could make a deal, then so could I, and I had more to barter so there was a chance that I could Dean out of his deal. It was kind of a retarded plan making one deal to counter-act another, but if it meant not having to be alone and without Dean, then it was worth it, wasn't it?

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked me.

I stood up. "I can go back and make another deal because we can always try again."

"No! You are not using our baby as leverage to get me out of this deal!" Dean yelled at me, pain in his voice.

"Dean, _please_…I just can't do this without you!" I cried, shrugging.

"NO!" Dean replied loudly.

I bit my lip and looked at him hard. "I don't know why I'm even asking your permission, Dean—its kind of obvious that in this marriage whenever one of us has a plan they can just execute it without talking to the other one."

Dean opened his mouth to say something but before he could reply, we heard footsteps, and he and Bobby jumped out and found Ellen. They hugged her tightly, and then I hugged her when Dean let go, and she cried a little, and then we went inside. Bobby wanted her to take a shot of Holy Water just to check, and when that proved she wasn't possessed, he gave her the whiskey she asked for. Turned out that she wasn't in the Roadhouse due to sheer dumb luck—she was out buying pretzels. To top it off, it was obvious this showdown was going to happen in Wyoming.

"What does that mean?" Dean asked aloud.

xxxx

"Talk to me." Dean said softly and I shook my head as I went through one of the books.

"I don't have anything more to say to you." I replied slowly, hurting because I wanted to but it would just be more arguing. "What more is there?"

Dean sighed loudly. "I did what I thought I had to do."

"And now I'm doing what I think I have to do." I told him with a shrug. "Now can you please let me research in peace?"

"I love you." Dean said firmly, knowing it was what I needed to hear. "I can't believe you don't know that by now. From all we've gone through…all we've withstood."

I looked him in the eye. "I love that you brought Sammy back, but I am not going to pretend that I love the price it came at. I'm selfish—end of story. Maybe I just wanted you around for a few years. Maybe I wanted to be able to raise this baby with you. Maybe I wanted to be able to have more than one baby with you sometime in the future. Maybe I wanted a life with you, Dean…maybe I wanted a family. You took that away from me and from yourself when you made that ridiculous deal and I get why you did it, but I _hate _this feeling because I'm afraid of being alone."

"One year was the only way she'd do it." Dean explained to me, both of us hurt by my tears no matter how angry I was.

I nodded slowly. "Well then…I guess we better research so our year goes better without this demon war, huh?"

"Damn-it, Lanni!" Dean said, raising his voice a little.

This was not the place to be having this argument and I knew it, especially when Bobby shifted uncomfortably, his eyes glancing over at us. I bit my lip and then took Dean's hand and dragged him out of Bobby's place, and looked him in the eye. If he wanted to have this out, then we were going to have this out even though it wasn't the time _or _the place to be having this conversation…well, argument.

"You brought this upon yourself." I told him. "You made the deal and now you have to live with the consequences."

"I don't want you to hate me for the year I have!" Dean protested, grabbing a hold of my shoulders.

I looked down at the ground. "Then you have to give me some space and time to let it all sink in. You were selfish, and now I get to be."

"Selfish? You telling me that bringing back my brother was selfish?" Dean asked, starting to get mad at me.

"Yes!" I exclaimed nodding. "Or hadn't you thought about how much this is going to cost us all when you're gone? Excuse me while I spell it out for you: in twelve months you are going to die, your soul is going to go to Hell, and guess who has to live with the repercussions? Me and Sam, and everyone you claim to love! Sam will be racked with guilt because you gave your soul for his, and I will be alone with a five month old baby! And who do you think will take it harder? Sam, because you sold your soul for _him_! Only he won't show it! I will! So you know what, hate me for it all you want, Dean, but I am going to be mad at you right now! I have every right to be pissed that I only have one year to spend with you because you threw away everything!"

Dean watched me wipe a tear away, and go back inside, setting to work on the researching again. I hated that I was so angry—especially when I understood _why_ he had done it—but I just couldn't get over the clawing hurt I was feeling because Dean had made a rash and impulsive decision and we _all_ had to deal with the consequences here. I tried to shake the thoughts away as I researched, and strangely I was the first to find something. When I showed it to Bobby, he and I figured it all out together and decided to share with the rest of them.

"I don't believe it." Bobby said aloud to get the attention focused on him and me.

Sam looked over. "You got something?"

"Each of these X's in an abandoned Frontier church, all mid-19th Century." I explained, pointing to the map of Wyoming. "And all made by Samuel Colt."

"Samuel Colt? The demon-killing, gun-making, Samuel Colt?" Dean asked us.

Bobby nodded slowly. "That's the one, but that's not all. He built private railway lines, connecting church to church."

"That just happened to look like this." I told them, taking the pen and drawing the symbol.

"Tell me that's not what I think it is." Dean said slowly.

"It's a Devil's Trap." Sam explained. "A hundred square mile, Devil's Trap."

Dean rubbed his chin. "That's brilliant. Iron lines, demons can't cross."

"I've never heard of anything that massive." Ellen said slowly.

"No one has." Kate told her. "It's damn ingenious though."

I nodded and I smiled at her because her hunting knowledge was far above ours. She was amazing when it came to little tidbits like this, and whenever someone found something she knew, she was always quick to share it. Having her along made pretty much everything easier…on more than just me.

Dean looked up from his seat. "After all of these years, none of the lines have broken? It all still works?"

"Definitely." Kate said as I nodded.

"How do you know?" Dean asked aloud.

Kate looked at him. "All the omens Bobby found—they're circling it, but they can't get in…it's _definitely_ still working."

"Yeah, well they're trying to get in." Bobby told us.

"Why? What's inside?" Ellen asked him.

"That's what I've been looking for, and there's nothing except an, uh, old cowboy cemetery right in the middle." Dean explained.

Sam looked up. "But what's so important about a cemetery? What's Colt trying to protect?"

My eyes widened as I looked it over and I waved my hands around a little, trying to form my words and looking directly at Dean. We made eye contact, both of us thinking the same thing and all attention was on me and my hands. I had a tendency to speak with my hands and this was definitely no exception.

"I don't think he was trying to keep anything out….he's trying to keep something in." I explained, Dean nodding at me.

"Well that's a comforting thought." Ellen said dismally.

Dean nodded at her. "Yeah, ya think?"

"Could they do it, Bobby? Could they get inside?" Sam asked him.

Bobby shook his head. "This thing's so powerful you'd practically need an a-bomb to destroy it. No way a full blood demon gets across."

"No." Sam said, looking thoughtful. "But I know who could."

"Jake." I said aloud and swallowed. "God I hate him."

Kate nodded slowly. "Me too."

I rubbed my temples and went away from the table, Ellen following me as I went outside and sat down on the porch. She put her arm around me and I leaned my head against her, snuggling up to her and trying hard not to cry. Ellen ran her fingers through my hair and kissed my head, always so motherly to me even though she never had to be.

"How are you holding up, honey?" Ellen asked me.

I shrugged a little. "The baby's fine."

"Yeah, but how are _you_?" Ellen asked again. "I saw you fighting with Dean in there."

"I'm as good as any wife can be when they find out their husband sold his soul to bring his brother back to life." I replied, wiping a tear away.

Ellen tensed up. "He did _what_?"

"Sam doesn't know and Dean doesn't want him to know so…just…I don't know what to do, Ellen." I told her, pulling away a little and looking at her, crying because I couldn't seem to get the tears to stop. "How am I supposed to do this without him? I mean Jenny has her own kids to deal with, and Kate and Sammy will have other and what am _I_ supposed to do?"

Ellen wiped my tears away, looking me in the eye and holding my face. "Lana you will _never_ be without _me_. Whatever it is that you need from me, I am going to be here for you through thick and thin."

"Thank you, Ellen." I whispered, hugging her tightly.

She held me back and stroked my hair as I let the tears fall, both of us turning to see Bobby come out of the house. He asked if he could talk to me, and Ellen nodded, kissing my forehead and then heading inside, Bobby opening his arms up to me. He knew I understood, and he knew I was hurting, and he just wanted to let me know that like Ellen, he was here for me if I needed him.

"You can't be mad at him forever." Bobby told me.

I nodded slowly. "I know."

"He doesn't want to leave you, I hope you know that." Bobby said softly.

"I just wish I could accept it, Bobby." I admitted to him. :I mean I know he did it for Sam, and I am so happy to have Sam back, but—a year? How am I supposed to get a year out of him without being mad at him that we only get a year?"

Bobby nodded, kissing the top of my head. "I know its tough, but you can't spend a whole year hating him for this…you have to forgive him."

"I know I do. I just don't know how." I told him, pulling away and looking up at him. "There are so many things going on with me right now that he doesn't know and I don't think he'll take too happily but I can't tell him—he already has so much to worry about."

"I believe a marriage is base on both parties speaking up no matter what." Bobby told me but then nodded and sighed when I did. "Like what? You can always talk to me, Lana."

I nodded at that because I knew I could trust Bobby with anything, even though I knew deep down I should be talking to Dean about all of this first. It was just that I was so mad at him that nothing was coming out right, and I just collected my thoughts and decided that this was just fine too…Bobby would try and help me through this.

"First off let me explain to you that the yellow-eyed demon is my biological father—yeah, you heard me correctly—and he keeps coming to me in my dreams. They're all different, but he seems so excited these days…because he says I'm having a demonic baby." I explained to Bobby slowly. "Here I am, all excited that I'm pregnant finally, and having my father tell me that the baby can't be hurt because of its demonic nature, scares me. When I died and was brought back, I didn't want this—any of it. I didn't want to pass my demon genes along, but I have no choice…it's also partly why I offered to give the baby up to get Dean out of his deal."

Bobby looked a little taken back by the news, and I knew what he was thinking—if the baby was so demonic, I should get rid of it. But how could I do that? Dean and I were looking forward to this baby. We had finally conceived a baby that would survive and what if this was the only thing of Dean I got to keep? I'd been thinking about _that_ more and more too…this was my baby and _Dean's_ baby…I _had_ to give birth to it.

"And you really haven't told him about any of this?" Bobby asked me.

"I told him about my father being the demon but no," I admitted shaking my head, "no I haven't told him about the dreams or about that baby's possible demonic nature. Please don't tell him, Bobby…it's my place to tell him."

Bobby nodded and stroked my hair. "I promise, Lana but…tell him soon."

I nodded as the boys came out with Kate and Ellen, and we all got into the cars and took off for the cemetery. When we got there it was dark out, and we saw Jake as we hid in our own respective outlets until he was close to the large crypt, and then we stepped out. He was going to pay for _everything_ that he had done, and I was going to enjoy every _minute_ of the pain we put him through…

"Howdy, Jake." Sam greeted, and the six of us stood there in a line, looking at him.

"Wait…you're dead. I killed you." Jake told him.

"Yeah?" Sam asked him. "Well next time, finish the job."

"I did!" Jake protested. "I cut clean through your spinal cord, Man. You can't be alive. You can't be."

Bobby raised his gun a little more. "Okay, just take it easy there, Son."

Jake looked at him. "And if I don't?"

"Wait and see." Sam said firmly.

Honestly it was a little unnerving to see Sam so tough all of a sudden and I didn't know why it was making me feel so happy. Yeah, Sam _was_ tough, but normally Dean was the one that threatened people and had the quippy comments. Jake had killed Sam though, and even though Sam only thought he'd tried, Sam was out for blood as much as I was.

"What, you're a tough guy all of a sudden? What are you going to do—kill me?" Jake asked Sam. "You had your chance, and you couldn't."

"I won't make that mistake twice." Sam explained and Jake chuckled, Dean and I getting angry and cocking our guns.

Dean looked directly at Jake. "What are you smiling at, you little bitch?"

"Hey Lady, do me a favor—put that gun up to your head." Jake said, and Ellen did as she was told.

Kate glared at him. "Getting quite the handle on your powers, eh, Jake?"

"You're an ass, you know that?" I told him.

Jake just smiled at us and then looked at me. "You're his daughter, aren't you?"

"If you're talking about the demon, then yes—I am. So you should know, that I don't take kindly to people making my friends point guns at themselves, your powers won't work on me, and I could shoot you in the head right now for what you've taken from me." I threatened, me stepping one step closer.

"Now, now we don't want her shooting herself. See, that Ava girl was right. Once you give in, there's all sorts of new Jedi mind tricks that you learn." Jake said with a grin.

Sam wasn't happy now. "Let her go!"

"Shoot him." Ellen said, willing to take this risk.

"You'll be mopping up skull before you get a shot in." Jake told us.

I cocked my head to one side. "You really think you can get her to shoot herself before one of us pulls our happy little trigger?"

"You wanna test the theory?" Jake asked me.

"No." I told him, and lowered my gun.

Honestly I couldn't lost Ellen too—I just couldn't. She was like a mother to me and if I got her killed then I would never be able to forgive myself. Ellen was so strong, and beautiful, and I just wanted this fight to be over…I wanted Jake dead and I wanted to figure out how I was going to get through this year with Dean…I wanted so desperately to just forgive him.

"Now everybody else put your guns down…except you, Sweetheart." Jake told Ellen.

Everyone dropped them on the ground, and then Jake sent me a look and I dropped mine, Kate sidling closer to me. She knew that I needed support right now and so did she—Jake had taken Sam from her and she wanted him dead. In taking Sam from her, he had made it so that Dean had run off and made a deal, and for that I would _never_ forgive him…Jake had to die and that was really all there was to it.

"I really don't like you." I told Jake firmly.

Jake shrugged and smiled. "It's all right. I don't much like you either."

I gave him a look and he turned around and pulled out the Colt, sticking it into the door, Sam and I shooting him several times in the back since he'd let his guard down—really stupid move on his part. While Jake was on the ground, Sam walked up to him, and pointed the gun at him. Jake begged him not to, but Sam pulled the trigger, shooting him three times in the face. We all walked up to the door as it clicked into place, and then Bobby, Kate and I got worried looks on our faces as we saw the inscriptions.

"Bobby, what is it?" Ellen asked him.

"It's Hell." Bobby replied, and Dean grabbed the gun. "Everybody take cover now!"

We all ran away from the door and hid behind some of the larger tombstones, demons flying out, destroying the Devil's Trap. I took that moment to grasp Dean's hand, and he squeezed it, knowing I was going to try and be nice to him, even though I was still not happy. I even smiled at him a little because if this was our last moments together, I needed him to know that though still mad…I love him.

"What the Hell just happened?" Dean asked aloud.

"That's a Devil's Gate!" Kate explained loudly.

Ellen nodded firmly. "A damn door to Hell! Come on! We gotta shut that gate!"

The six of us ran to the door, trying to close it, but Dean stayed behind with the Colt, looking around. He was trying to pick a fight, and I didn't want the demon to show up, but he did, and took the Colt. There were enough of us so I knew that I could totally potentially go save Dean's ass since he was in trouble…

"Dean!" Sam cried as he saw him lying on the ground.

"Dad!" I yelled, and we both left Bobby and Ellen to close the door.

Dad sent Sam flying up against a tree, and then I was stopped in my tracks and I made a face at him. I really didn't want to deal with this, but there was no way around it now and I had to make sure that Dean didn't get killed. Suddenly, just one year with him looked amazing staring down the barrel at what could potentially be our last interaction. Hey, maybe I could make a deal with my father…maybe?

"I'll deal with you later, Champ." Dad told Sam. "And you, Kid—you're good there. You can watch the father of your child cope with what he's done and take it graciously before he dies."

"Dad, please don't." I pleaded with him.

Dad leaned down and looked at Dean. "You ever heard that if the deal's too good to be true, it probably is?"

"You call that deal good?" Dean asked him.

"It was terrible." I muttered.

"It was better than your Dad ever got." He said with a shrug. "You see how Sam killed Jake just then? You ever wonder that maybe what you brought back wasn't entirely 100% Sammy?"

I looked over at Sam and I sighed, because demons couldn't resurrect people unless a deal was made. Witches could, but at a price and they had to use dark magic and there were all sorts of warnings that came with it. Well this had a price too, and both Sam and Dean were going to pay it…Hell, Kate and I were going to pay it too, but not as ultimately as Sam and Dean.

"I knew I kept you alive for a reason." The demon said, happy Sam was back in the running and Jake was dead. "But I don't need you know. You can blame your reckless, self-loathing need to sacrifice yourself for your family."

"Stop it!" I yelled at him—how _dare_ he put Dean down?

Then out of the chaos, John came, and pulled the demon out of his human body, wrestling him as Dean grabbed the Colt. The demon shook John off, Sam and I still stuck as long as the demon was alive, and I felt the evil side start to try and take over. When she did, the demon was back in his body and I actually smiled…my body was enjoying this pain…part of it was.

"That's my girl." Dad said, but then he saw Dean, who shot him with the gun.

His body crackled and fizzed, and then smoke started to come out of his body, and both of our eyes returned to their normal color. He was dead, and I was free—we all were. John looked at the three of us as Sam and I stepped closer and he rested his hand on Dean's shoulder. We all smiled, Sam and I tearing up, and then in a bright flash, he was gone. We looked at each other and then stood over the demon's body, Kate helping Bobby and Ellen to shut the door before coming over to us.

"Well, check that off the to-do list." Dean said, Sam and I still taking it in.

"Wow." I told the body, looking at Kate as she stood next to me, cringing as I kicked the body my father had been in. "Too many of my parents have been killed off but…this dad needed to go."

Sam took my hand since he was standing next to me and Dean was across from me, and I stopped kicking the body and crying and knelt down. Kate came and sat down next to me, holding me because she knew that right now everything was spinning out of control and there was really nothing to do. Yeah, my father was dead now, but he had done some things that he couldn't take back and the door had been opened…demons had escaped from Hell…

"Everything seems so…surreal right now." I whispered to the body. "You took everything from me, and this is your reward."

Sam looked at Dean. "You did it."

"I didn't do it alone." Dean replied slowly.

"Do you think Dad really…do you think he really climbed out of Hell?" Sam asked Dean.

Dean nodded slowly. "The door was open. If anyone is stubborn enough to do it…it would be him."

"Where do you think he is now?" Sam asked him.

Dean shook his head. "I don't know."

"Heaven." I said firmly, standing up as Dean came over. "But I don't know for sure. You said 'think' and that was a damn bright white light."

Kate smiled and nodded in agreement, Sam nodding too and hugging Kate and I to him, all three of us firmly believing. We really felt like it was what we needed to believe in order to get our heads all wrapped around all of this. Besides, John could be with Mary now…I firmly believed that there was good in this world and that helping Dean to kill my father, earned him the right to spend the rest of eternity with the only woman he had ever truly loved.

"I kinda can't believe it, Dean. I mean…all of our lives, everything…we've been prepping for this and now…" Sam chuckled softly. "I kind of don't know what to say."

"I do." Dean said, and knelt by the body. "That was for our Mom…you son of a bitch."

I nodded, and rested my hand on his shoulder, happy when he rested his hand on mine too. He had just killed the demon, and everything felt so done now…and yet it felt like nothing was over at all. Part of me had hoped that in killing him that meant that Dean and I could settle down a little more or something…but that wasn't the case here and I knew that. So we walked to the Impala, and I could tell that Sam had something on his mind and I swallowed when the words came to him.

"You know, when Jake saw me…it was like he saw a ghost." Sam said as Dean opened the door and scoffed. "I mean Hell you heard him Dean. He said he killed me."

"I'm glad he was wrong." Dean told him, and I sighed and sat on the hood of the car, looking at my hands as I twiddled my thumbs.

"I don't think he was, Dean." Sam replied shaking his head slowly. "What happened…after I was stabbed?"

"I already told you." Dean said, trying to keep a straight face.

Sam shook his head. "Not everything."

"Sam, we just killed the demon. Can we celebrate for a minute?" Dean asked, close to tears, and trying to be happy.

"Did I die?" Sam asked calmly.

"Oh, come on." Dean said.

"Did you sell your soul for me, like Dad did for you?" Sam asked and Kate squeezed my hand.

"Oh, come on, no!" Dean exclaimed, and I wiped a tear away.

"Tell me the truth." Sam told him. "Dean…tell me the truth."

Kate knew that this was hard for me and she was angry with Dean, I could tell, but Kate had her Sam back and she was grateful. She was just as conflicted as I was about it all because Sam was back…Sam was back and that was all that was supposed to matter but the cost of it…the cost was just _so_ high. I got off of the hood of the car and walked away a little, Dean chuckling a little while he started to cry, and I heard Sam's voice break.

"How long did you get?" Sam asked him.

"One year." Dean said after a pause. "I got one year."

"You shouldn't have done that." Sam told him. "How could you do that?"

"Don't get mad at me." Dean told him painfully. "Don't you do that—Lanni's already mad at me."

Sam nodded as I turned around, my hands in my pockets. "Well she _is_ carrying your baby, Dean. You have a wife and you're about to have a kid…what were you thinking?"

"Sam, I had to." Dean protested earnestly. "I had to protect you—it's my job."

"And what do you think my job is?" Sam asked him.

Dean was confused. "What?"

"You saved my life over and over. I mean you sacrifice everything for me. Don't you think I do the same for you? You're my big brother, and there is nothing I wouldn't do for you." Sam explained to him, me biting my lip. "And no matter what it takes, I'm going to get you out of this. I guess I gotta save your ass for a change."

Dean smiled softly. "Yeah."

Kate reached out and took Sam's hand, smiling and closing her eyes when he leaned down and kissed the top of her head. They were just so perfect together, and the look on Dean's face when he looked at the two of them made me feel even worse. He hadn't just done this for me to have my best friend back, or for him to have his brother back…he gave Sam back to Kate…and they had a chance to be happy…how could I be mad at him for that? And at the same time…how could I _not_ be mad?

"Well…the yellow-eyed demon may be dead, but a Hell of a lot more came through that gate." Ellen told us, coming up to us with Bobby.

"How many, do you think?" Dean asked her.

"100. Maybe 200. It's an army." Sam explained to us all. "It's unleashed an army."

We all exchanged glances, and I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to figure out what to say to it all. Even though we had stopped it from being worse than it could have been, Jake had effectively opened up the door to Hell and demons had escaped. They were probably already wreaking havoc everywhere and we had to stop them…but how? Where did we start?

"Hope to Hell you guys are ready." Bobby told us. "Cause the war is just beginning."

"Well then…" Dean said, and he opened up the trunk of the Impala, tossing the Colt in. "We got work to do."

I got into the car while Bobby and Ellen got into Bobby's truck, and we drove to Kansas—it seemed to be where we went to regroup. I was silent the whole car ride, Kate and I e-mailing on our laptops and doing some research, checking to see what kind of damage could have already started by now. Dean glanced back at me as I rested my hand on my stomach, me catching his sad smile out of the corner of my eye and I knew I was being hard on him…and I needed to stop that. He felt sorry about what he had done and I had to accept that.

By the time we got to my house, we were all exhausted so Sam and Kate turned in—both headed for the room Sam always used—and Dean headed to our room. I smiled in the direction of Sam and Kate and then I went into the kitchen and I put my palms on the island counter, trying to figure out my words before I went to go talk to Dean. I had to brave him sooner or later, and I looked up when Sam walked into the room, coming over and wrapping his arms around me.

"I'm sorry, Lan." He told me softly.

I shrugged slowly, hugging him back. "Don't be."

"I have to be. He limited his time with you to bring me back." Sam replied, stroking my hair. "It's my fault."

I pulled back and looked Sam in the eye. "Sammy…this is not your fault. Do _not_ blame yourself for any of it."

"I can't help it." He told me honestly and I squeezed his hand.

"So…you and Kate finally an item yet?" I asked him.

He smiled a little at me. "She's my girlfriend—I move slow though, so please don't try and give me the 'honorable' talk, all right? I'm going to treat her with respect."

"I honestly don't doubt that in the slightest, Sammy." I told him, and then I smiled sadly. "I really have to go and brave my husband."

Sam nodded and kissed my forehead, making me smile a little more and then head up the stairs. I paused at the bedroom door but then I opened it, Dean lying on the bed fully clothed looking up at the ceiling. He looked over at me and seemed genuinely surprised that I had shown up, and honestly I didn't know exactly what to say but I knew I had to try and get past this.

"Honestly? I didn't think you'd come in here." Dean told me.

I smiled sadly. "Yeah…I've been kind of avoiding you, but I figured you and I had a lot to talk about."

"Yeah…" Dean told me slowly, nodding and propping himself up on his hand as I got onto the bed with him. "Yeah, we do."

"I know that you just wanted what was best for Sammy and I really _do_ understand, all right? I guess I just wish you hadn't made a deal like that. I respect your decision though. God knows I can't take it back, and I want our year together to be good, all right?" I told him, running my fingers along his buttons, stopping eye contact. "I'm going to stop being selfish and take things as they are because I don't want you to feel for a second that I don't love you…because I do, Dean." I told him, looking him in the eye. "I love you _so_ much."

"I love you too." Dean admitted to me. "I'm so sorry I did this to you, Lanni…I'm really starting to realize that _I'm _the one that doesn't deserve _you _and the patience and loyalty you have for me."

I kissed him, trying to get him to stop because truth be told we were perfect—he had patience and loyalty with me too. It just felt like suddenly our communication was off…we needed to start working through things together when things happened and stop apologizing afterwards. I smiled when he slipped his fingers into my hair and held me protectively close to him and I started feeling sad again—our time to get to be together like this was already counting down. I had to make everything of this year—_everything_.

"We're going to have a son." I told him, pulling away a little, my forehead to his.

Dean smiled softly. "What? How could you possibly know that, Lanni?"

I took a deep breath. "And he's going to be demonic."

**Note: Oh, what an ending to a 35 page chapter! There is **_**so**_** much more in store for you guys! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	51. Bonding and Admitting

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Here's the technical Season Three.**

**Okay so this whole thing here on out is pretty much **_**completely **_**redone because I wrote the angels in, in this chapter and then the angels showed up in the show a year later and I wanna just stick to one kind of angel so…the angel storyline I originally wrote has been changed **_**drastically **_**as have all the relationships anyway.**

**That being said here is the next chapter and I hope you like it!**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

The look on Dean's face was just kind of miffed at first when I explained everything to him that had happened. I knew he had to know, and I knew we had to work through this, but how did we do that? The dreams…his deal…all this demonic blood that was being transferred to our baby…what the Hell? How much more of this did we honestly have to deal with?

"Wanna maybe…say something?" I asked him softly.

We were both sitting on the foot of the bed, our feet touching the floor, and while my palms were firmly on the bed, Dean's head was in his hands. It had been silent between us for what seemed like forever and I had _no _idea how we were going to get through this…how we were going to get past this. Especially since Dean was looking like he was beyond helping right about then.

"I don't have the words yet." Dean admitted to me. "This is…this is big, Lanni."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…yeah, I know it is."

"This is what you were trying to warn me about when you were brought back." Dean said, looking at me, making direct eye contact. "This is what you wanted me to think about and all I could think about was how badly I wanted to give you what you wanted."

"Do you…do you want to get rid of it?" I asked him, my words barely audible because they hurt so much falling out of my mouth.

Dean shook his head quickly and cupped my face. "Baby, there is no way that I would do that to you."

"So you want me to keep it because that's what _I_ want?" I asked him.

I knew I shouldn't be picking a fight, but at the same time I was feeling pretty hurt by what he was saying to me and I didn't know exactly _how_ to react to what was happening between us right then. I mean honestly I couldn't understand why we were even having this conversation but I'd brought it up because what he was saying and his body language was suggesting that he didn't want the baby for _him_ anymore…for _us_.

"Lanni, you're misunderstanding what I'm saying." Dean told me, taking a breath as I stood up.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Look…I understand your deal and I don't want to keep bringing it up, but after everything I'm dealing with right now _because_ of that deal, I can't handle you not wanting our baby."

"Lanni, I _do_ want our baby, I _do_…I just need more time to understand what all of this means, all right?" Dean asked me, taking my hands and pulling me in closer. "Lanni, Baby, look…I want our baby, I really do because I still firmly believe that if _we_ raise our kid, our kid _can't_ be evil. Besides…I'd like to be a dad before I die."

"Dear, sweet Jesus." I said softly, flopping back onto the bed.

Dean looked at me and I closed my eyes, putting my hands over my eyes and groaning softly. His reason made sense, and yet they were terrible and I just really didn't have the strength or will to continue here. I just wanted to ignore it all and be held by my husband…we had just dealt with a door to Hell opening and my father finally dying and John's spirit going somewhere and Sam dying and I just…I needed to be held.

"What?" Dean asked me softly.

I shook my head, staying in my position. "I just can't fight anymore, Dean. I love you, and I love that you want to be a dad—even if it's not entirely for all the right reasons—but I just don't have the strength to fight, all right?"

"I understand." Dean told me, lying down next to me and pulling my body close to his.

He just spooned me on the bed, placing kisses behind my ear, and I smiled a little, opening my eyes when he put his hand on my stomach. He ran his thumb along my stomach through my shirt and held me there securely and protectively, and I slowly rested my hand on his. Our baby was in my stomach, and it was already two months old technically and I _knew_ that part of him wanted it…I just needed the reassurance right now…thankfully he knew that.

"So you're going to stay in here, tonight?" Dean asked me slowly. "After everything, I guess I'm still surprised."

I squeezed his hand. "I said I wasn't ever going to leave you, and I don't intend to. Besides, for the first five months of its life, I'd like our kid to innocently believe that its parents are completely and utterly in love."

Dean kissed my head. "They are."

"I can't do this without you, Dean…so I'm staying because I love you and I _don't_ _want_ to leave you, but also because _I need_ you." I explained to him.

Dean nodded and I knew that he understood, welcoming me turning over in his arms and looking him in the eye. I ran my nose along his, our eyes locked, and then I smiled a little when he closed his eyes and kissed me, his lips pressed firmly against mine. He ran his tongue along my bottom lip and I opened my mouth for him, moving my body closer to his and trying to forget all the negative thoughts…right now was just time to be close to the man that I loved.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I stroked Lana's hair as she slept, trying to figure out how in the world I was going to convince her that she should stay here. Hunting without her would be a pain and I would miss her like crazy, but it was for the best and I knew that. I got why she was upset with me, I was glad that she understood what I had done, and I wanted her and our baby to be safe…that couldn't happen if she hunted with us.

At the same time, I knew I could never stop in Kansas on a regular basis and that she would have a fit if I just left. She wanted me to be there with her every step of the way and why couldn't I do that? I had a year to live—just one—and I had to make that count with her. I'd married her…I was going to be a father…I had to stay by her side and that was the end of it.

I kissed her temple softly and then got out of bed, going downstairs in my boxers and t-shirt, getting myself some cereal. When I heard a noise, I looked up, smiling a little at Kate as she came into the kitchen too, me sitting at the island counter. She gave a small smile and then it faded and I understood that—she was in Lana's corner…she was in Sam's corner.

"Can't sleep?" She asked me.

I shook my head. "Not particularly, no. You neither?"

"No, but Sam's out like a light." Kate told me, grabbing herself the same cereal. "As happy as I am that you brought him back…what thoughts were running through your head exactly when you made this deal? I mean did you think about Lanni at all?"

"I _always_ think about Lanni." I explained to her, and then I sighed, setting my spoon in my bowl and taking a deep breath. "All I was thinking about was how broken I was without Sam, and how messed I was without Lanni and I just…I had to have Sam back. I _hate_ that I'm doing this to her and that she's being so understanding even though she's hurt, and I just…I want to find a way to make this better for her. I _want_ to be a dad, Kate…I'm willing to do _anything_ for Lanni."

"Then get out of this deal." Kate said firmly.

I looked at her hard as she looked at me, and then I looked back at my cereal and started to eat it again. How could I explain to her why I wasn't trying to get out of this? How could I tell her that if I backed out of this then Sam would go back to being dead? There was no way out…I'd made my bed and now I had to lie in it.

"That's far easier said than done." I told her lamely.

She nodded and sat across from me at the island counter. "I just…Dean, I get it and you know Lana does too. I mean Sam's your brother—Annie and Kalli were mine and Lana's sisters. There are just things that you do for your family. At the same time…_Lana's_ your family too and you and her are going to have a _baby_…how can I help?"

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"I mean we have to make this easier on Lanni and I want to help you do that." Kate said with a shrug, shoving some cereal into her mouth. "Her pregnancy is already kind of starting off rough and I want to ease her through it because I want to be an aunt, all right?"

I smiled at her as she cracked a smile at me. "I'll let you know as we go along, Kate."

She nodded at me and took another bite of cereal, and I couldn't help but watch her as I ate. God, she was _perfect_ for Sam, and I was actually feeling _proud_ of myself for what I had done for the two of them. Sam really needed to be happy after everything that he had been through, and Kate was making him the kind of happy that he needed to be—the kind of happy that Lana made me.

"If you hurt him…I'm gonna have to kill you." I told Kate with a playful shrug.

She laughed a little. "Is that so? I think I could take you. I mean I don't want to hurt Sam in the slightest but…I could still take you."

"Yeah, you'd like to _think_ so." I replied with a grin. "How's the sex?"

Kate choked on her cereal and I was suddenly alert just in case she needed me, laughing when she started laughing and flicked cereal at me off of her spoon. She shook her head at me and shot me a look and I didn't know what else to say—it was a simple question. I mean hearing about my brother and how well he was in bed wasn't really something I wanted to chat about forever, but it was relevant to our conversation, I thought.

"Sammy and I, uh…we haven't gotten there yet." Kate told me, blushing and muttering into her cereal bowl.

I raised my eyebrows. "Really? Don't tell me that all of the Meckenzies are virgins, Kate."

"For your information my _mother_ was a Meckenzie and I'm a _Newman_." Kate said and then she shook her head. "To be honest…Lana was the last one to lose her virginity and _you_ got it…_both_ times. Besides, I'm _not_ a virgin, so it's not that."

"Then what is it?" I asked her slowly.

Kate looked up at me. "Sam and I are close, and we talk, and we get one another, but to be completely honest, I'm waiting until we're in love—_if_ Sam and I fall completely head over heels for each other…it's a choice. I just…I _don't_ want to screw this up."

"There's nothing wrong with some harmless fun." I told her, but I nodded as I spoke and she looked at me again after taking another bite of cereal. "I think I get it…there's a difference between meaningless sex, some good 'ol fun and…love."

"And he gets it." Kate said with a smile. "I think the world just ended."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

When I woke up, I could feel the warmth on Dean's side of the bed so I knew he was there, and I felt the sudden need to talk to him. I didn't really _want _to wake him up, but it was the middle of the night and I'd been dreaming about things and I wanted to talk. He and I had a lot of moving on to do right now, but at the same time it was really on me…_I _was the one who needed to be a little more accepting.

"Are you awake?" I whispered, turning over.

Dean rolled over and nodded. "Yeah."

I opened my mouth to tell him what was going on, but I closed it—I couldn't do it. I had to deal with accepting this deal all on my own and I didn't need to drag him into it just to do it. Besides, he had bed hair and he was looking at me so fondly and I could tell just by looking him in the eye that he was truly sorry for what he had done to me…but he—like the rest of us—was glad that Sam was back and we couldn't ask him to be sorry for that.

"I love you." I told him.

Dean smiled and kissed me softly. "I love you too."

I returned the kiss gently, wishing that there wasn't that creeping in feeling that every minute that ticked by was one last minute with Dean. It almost felt like I couldn't go to sleep because that was wasting my hours with him away and using time. At the same time it was _ridiculous _to think I could go a full _year_ without sleeping…

"Was that all you wanted to tell me?" Dean asked and I nodded, kissing him one more time, and then I smiled a little smile and got out of bed.

"I need coffee." I told him softly.

Dean laughed and rolled his eyes. "Is that healthy? You have a baby growing inside of you _and_ it's the middle of the night."

"I don't think it's really wise to argue with a pregnant woman." I said with a smile. "I'll be fine, I promise."

Dean just nodded at me and though I knew he was sad that I was up from the bed and headed downstairs, I was glad we were civil. I was even gladder to see Sam in the kitchen with coffee brewed, and I smiled at him, him looking up when I turned on the light. We nodded at each other, and he chuckled a little as I got myself coffee, and we both leaned on the island counter for a good while before Sam opened his mouth to speak first.

"You're keeping some stuff to yourself." Sam told me.

"Yeah." I admitted and took a sip of my coffee before placing my head on the table hard.

Sam reached over and stroked my hair. "You wanna talk about it?"

"No." I mumbled into the counter. "How are you and Kate?"

Sam chuckled and I smiled a little, looking up and cocking my head to one side as Sam sipped his coffee. He was definitely going to talk to me about it: he was just making sure that he had the right words to say first. It was cute that he was thinking about Kate and he was smiling—God, I was _so_ happy that Kate and Sammy were _happy_…like _genuinely happy_…it was perfect.

"Kate and I are doing great, actually." Sam told me, looking me in the eye. "We're taking it slow and steady."

I smiled at him. "I feel like I'm gonna get shot for this mushy statement but…I think its _hella_ romantic that you two are so close and that you can sleep in the same bed and cuddle and protect each other _without_ having sex right off the bat."

"I have no idea _why_ you fell for my brother." Sam said laughing. "I mean seriously."

"Would it help if I promised that boy or girl, our kid will take after me?" I asked Sam, smiling when he reached out to touch my stomach.

Honestly I had thought it would be weird and annoying to have people always touch my stomach, but it wasn't. I actually _liked_ it. I mean there was life growing inside of me and it was already loved—already perfect to me no matter what dream. Dean was right: if he and I raised this child…there was no way that it could be evil.

"I think that makes up for it perfectly." Sam told me, smiling when I hugged him. "I love you, Lan…you know that, right?"

I smiled at him and kissed his cheek. "I love you too, Sammy."

xxxx

I read a little bit late that afternoon, and then I looked up as Dean came in the room, looking a little down. I honestly couldn't imagine what would have him upset because I hadn't mentioned anything about the deal recently and it wasn't like anyone else had brought it up. So why was it that he was looking so upset?

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

Dean crawled onto the bed, and then lowered himself against me gingerly. "We need to talk."

"Okay…what's on your mind?" I asked him, putting the book down, and then I ran my fingers through his hair, while my left hand rested on his right hand, and our fingers entwined automatically.

"I'm your husband, right? And I should have run this deal across with you first, right? Well…I want you to know that I'm one hundred percent on board with having this baby." He explained to me. "I need you to _know_ that because you and this baby mean more to me than absolutely anything else in the world. You're my family and I _need_ you to know that I will _always_ think of you like that."

I nodded slowly, getting really teary-eyed—why did he have to be so perfect? I didn't know exactly where this revelation of his had come from, but I was thankful for it, and I was thankful that _he _wanted to have this baby with me. In fact as he kissed my stomach, his eyes closed and his fingers running along it as he kept his mouth there, I realized that he was just that: _perfect for me_.

"We haven't had sex in a little while." I whispered to him.

He smirked a little. "I'm being all serious and sappy, and that's what you have to say?"

"I love you." I told him blushing. "I love you, and our unborn son."

"I love you and our unborn son too." Dean said pleasantly. "And screw your father—our son's going to be perfect."

I wanted to cry, but his lips were pressed to mine now. I returned the kiss, pouring myself into him, his hand sliding up my shirt and his fingers running along my stomach. Honestly I couldn't _wait _to be showing, but it was still early and so for now it just looked like a normal stomach but we were all excited because we _knew _that there was life in there. Life that was _wanted_…and that was all that mattered to me.

"What?" Dean asked me as I pulled away a little.

I smiled at him. "Nothing, nothing. I just…wanna dress up for you is all."

"Very nice." Dean smirked, kissing me quickly. "You may do as you please."

I got off of the bed and grabbed some lingerie out of the drawer and then went into the bathroom. Little did Dean know that I'd taken the spell book too and I used one of the more timid spells to call Mom to me, and she smiled. Honestly I felt like I couldn't do this without her and as happy as I was to be with my husband, I needed to talk to Mom about the baby while I was thinking about it.

"How are you, baby girl?" Mom asked me.

I just smiled and hugged her, happy to have her running her fingers through my hair like this. I had needed her _so_ many times since the Greplin had taken her away from me, and just to have her here even though she really wasn't was just…it was _exactly_ what I needed.

"What's wrong, honey?" Mom asked as I stayed silent.

I pulled back and looked at her. "Did you know that I could have a demonic child?"

"Honey, didn't _you_?" She asked me with a smile on her face. "Lanni, honey, _you're_ demonic…of _course_ your child will be—your child is getting _your_ blood."

"I understand _that_ but…Dad said my child will be used as an instrument of evil." I explained to her. "I mean how do I live with that? How do I expect Dean to _accept_ that?"

Mom stroked my cheek. "Don't take it to heart, Lanni—_anyone_ can be used as an instrument of evil, he just wanted you off of your game. You need to focus on being in control of yourself and your powers so you can teach your child to do the same, all right? Now you go in there, and you show him that he's still your number one."

I nodded as she smiled, and then she kissed my forehead and she disappeared, leaving me to stash the book for now. I would have to come back for it later, but for now I needed to get the lingerie on and then go back out to Dean, whom I was sure was getting antsy. Talking to Mom had certainly helped, and I was feeling _much _better about everything…about _all _of it. I could do this…_together_ Dean and I could do this.

"You're beautiful! How long should it take to dress up for me? All you have to do is take off your clothes!" Dean called playfully.

I smiled and rolled my eyes. "I'll be there in a minute, Love!"

I loved the sound that came next: Dean's absolutely delightfully sinful chuckle. It made me smile and when I was 'dressed' I fixed my hair and little and then went to lean on the doorframe, frowning a bit. After all of that, I had come out to Dean grabbing his jacket and I was beyond confused and he knew it by the face I was making.

"What?" I asked him.

Dean smiled and looked me up and down. "Wow! That looks _fabulous_ on you, but I had an idea."

"Wait, what?" I asked again, laughing a little as he cocked his head to one side and laughed at my confusion.

"I wanna try something new. I wanna romance you. Take you out for a night on the town, and _then_ come back and have my way with you. So…get dressed." He told me, and then left the bedroom.

I just nodded and got dressed, and then I grabbed my jacket and went downstairs to Sam and Kate cuddling on the couch. They were watching a movie on TV—I hadn't quite caught which one—and they were absolutely adorable all close and happy. Kate looked up at me and gave me a thumbs up, Sam telling her to stop giving Dean and I ideas when it may lead to them having to hear things later.

"I picked the funny one." Kate said with a grin, Sam rolling his eyes and kissing her.

"We'll be back." Dean told them as he came up to me. "But don't wait up."

Kate smiled at us. "Just be safe!"

"Kate!" Sam scolded her playfully.

I smiled at them and was about to tell them the same thing because Kate and I would find it hilarious, but Dean took my hand and tugged a little. We walked out of my house, and then we stopped at the end of the driveway and I looked at Dean. I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear as he pondered his next move and I just wanted to take him upstairs and have my way with him right then…but this was _his_ time, so _he_ got to choose.

"I don't know if I remember all of my old haunts." Dean said thoughtfully. "We may have to wing all of this."

I laughed softly. "Isn't that what we're doing anyways?"

Dean smiled and pulled me closer, dropping my hand and wrapping his arm around my waist. "Come on, Miss Mouth."

"I warned you about this whole romantic thing." I reminded Dean.

He rolled his eyes and laughed, kissing my head as he started to walk down the street with me. I kept him close to me and looked up at him, totally in love with him and wondering why _now_ of all times _romance_ was suddenly at the top of his list. It was refreshing, and it kept me guessing which was always good I supposed, but he had had me right where he wanted me, and given it up for the sake of _romance_?

"What's with the whole romantic streak, Baby?" I asked as we made it to the park.

Dean shrugged softly. "I feel like I need to try harder—try things I haven't really tried before. I mean we have one year together, Lanni—and I just want you to be happy. I want _us_ to be happy."

"Well I _am_ happy." I told him, and though not 100% true, I made him think I was.

He grinned and kissed me gently. "Me too…in more ways than one because I have you in that outfit forever imprinted on my mind, but I'm suppressing the urges right now."

He winked at me and then took my hand again, dragging me to the part of the park with less paths and benches, and more trees and bushes. He sat down under the big tree, and I smirked at him because it wasn't entirely dark yet—just mostly by this point. That meant that people could walk by _any second_ and he was what? Going to go at it with me right her in the park? To be fair he'd suggested kinkier things before…

"You bring me here to ravage me in the park or something?" I asked him.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Just come down here, will you?"

I nodded, and sat down next to him, laying down when he kissed me. It was nice and the stars were out, and he was kissing me so beautifully. I would have cried, had it not been for the one voice in my head telling me that I need to stop being hormonal and getting teary-eyed about everything. Dean's hand slipped up my shirt, and I ran my fingers through his hair as his thumb rang along the left cup of my bra.

"I knew that was the plan from the beginning." I smirked, taking a breath. "What a rather ingenious plan, Mr. Winchester."

Dean rolled his eyes again. "You know for once, you're the one wanting to get some, and I'm the one slowing things down."

"I guess I have this overwhelming need to prove to you that you're my number one." I admitted shrugging.

Dean smiled at me and I kissed him, glad that he returned it because we definitely needed this. We needed the closeness, and we needed to be able to forget all of the negative things for a while and just be _us_…even if it wouldn't always be like that. Eventually we'd have to face up to all of the things that were making us hurt still, but mostly we were patched up—we were patched up enough right now, so why was he pulling away?

"I know I'm your number one." He whispered softly. "And you're mine."

I smiled sadly and kissed him again, but he pulled away. "Stop pulling away."

"What's with the sadness?" He asked me.

"I'm not sad." I told him with a shrug.

"Yes you are." Dean replied, stroking my cheek. "Come on, talk to me."

I rested my forehead to his. "I'm just hormonal right now, Baby."

He nodded and kissed me again and I smiled a little, focusing on how happy being this close to Dean made me feel. I slipped my fingers into his hair and I shifted a little so that he could more easily get completely on top of me, and then I kept my eyes closed and focused on Dean as his lips traveled downward. Was there nothing that he didn't know how to do? Honestly?

"So how are you and the baby?" Dean asked, kissing my stomach.

I smiled at him softly, opening my eyes. "You're _really_ excited to be a Daddy, aren't you?"

"Yeah, actually, I am." Dean told me honestly. "I've been thinking about it a lot, and I am really looking forward to it. You know what else? You're the _only _one I'd want to experience it with."

I nodded at that and then I got up, Dean frowning at me but I just _couldn't _do this right now. This was wrong—I felt like everything between us was crumbling and I couldn't just lay there and think of positive thoughts. All that was running through my mind now was that yeah, Dean wanted to be a dad and I wanted to be a mom and it was _great _that we wanted to experience that together but it wouldn't last…Dean was going to die.

"I can't do this, Dean." I told him. "I can't sit here and think about the fact that we have one year! I don't want to have a baby if you're leaving me! I don't!"

Dean sighed and stood up too. "I'm not leaving you, Lanni—I'm dying, there's a difference."

"It doesn't change the fact that you're going to be gone! I'm going to have to raise him by myself!" I exclaimed loudly. "I just don't want that, Dean."

"Please tell me you're not thinking of getting rid of it." Dean said, and I realized right then exactly how much this baby meant to him, and it hurt me…and yet it warmed my heart too.

I took a deep breath. "I'm not going to have an abortion, Dean. I wouldn't do that to you—I wouldn't do that to _myself_, I just…our son is going to feel how Sam feels only he won't know his father…he'll just know _me_…it isn't fair."

Dean nodded, and when I set my hand on my stomach and smiled sadly, Dean was reassure that I wanted my baby. There was absolutely no way that I was going to let anything happen to me, or to my son, and Dean needed to know that. So I looked up at him and held out my hand, taking his and placing it on my stomach, holding it there and looking him in the eye.

"I'm still coping, Dean." I told him softly. "I mean I know that you want this, and I know that you love me, and I know I'm your family but I'm…I'm just scared of doing this alone…can we just go home, please?"

"Yeah…sure." He said, and I knew sooner or later he and I needed to get over this…and it was going to have to start with me.

xxxx

When I woke up in my bed in my room the next morning I sighed, getting up slowly as to not disturb Dean, and I went down to the kitchen. I wanted so badly to call Jen and force her to come over and hang out with me, but Jen and Paige were still getting used to each with Kevin off traveling. Sam looked up when I walked through the doorway and slowly handed me a cup of coffee.

"Technically, Dean told you that you had to stop drinking this stuff this week. It's supposed to be your cut-off. We've been weaning you off of it." Sam said, sipping his homemade coffee.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…I don't know if I'm gonna be able to live without coffee, Sammy."

"What's wrong, Lan?" Sam asked me.

"You mean other than getting Dean really horny and then not being able to perform for him? Or you know, me saying the wrong thing and breaking his mood? Everything." I said and then I sighed and sipped the coffee.

Sam chuckled and nodded. "I didn't need to know all of that."

"Sorry." I said, laughing softly.

Sam and I smiled at each other and then Kate walked through the door, smiling at me and kissing my cheek. Then she went up to Sam and they kissed softly, making eye contact and smiling at each other and it made me smile more. I sipped some more coffee and ran my fingers through my hair, all of us in our pajamas and then Sam focused attention back on me as Kate got a cup of coffee for herself.

"So spill—because we both know that you're thinking of the deal and you won't tell Dean." Sam told me, and then held out a plate of pancakes for me.

I sat down at the table and I took a bite of pancake before telling him. "I talked to my Mom again last night."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa—excuse me?" Kate asked me, sitting down next to me.

"Yeah…I summoned her so I could talk to her and she made me feel a _lot_ better about this whole 'demonic baby' thing." I explained to them. "Just because my baby will have demon blood in it, doesn't mean I can't raise it to do the right thing."

Kate smiled at me. "Well, Lanni, that's a _good_ thing…so why are you so sad?"

"I want my baby to know its father." I told her with a shrug.

Kate nodded and stroked my hair, kissing my cheek and then smiling at Sam when he handed her a plate of pancakes too. He was like the perfect man, Sam—he cooked, he anticipated everyone else's needs…and poor guy felt responsible for Jake killing him and making Dean make that deal. Sam _wasn't_ responsible though…my father was and I was just going to have to accept that.

"I, uh…I'm thinking about trying to get Dean out of his deal…I just need leverage." I said, sipping more coffee and looking at my plate.

Sam sighed loudly. "Really? Deal for a deal?"

"That's not entirely what she said, Sammy—even though that's what she's thinking." Kate said aloud. "All right…why don't we focus on your beautiful baby?"

"Even though he was trying to get to me…I think it's a boy." I told them.

Kate laughed and nodded. "Well, I'm _really_ glad about that to be honest because the Meckenzies have _way_ too many girls."

"I just wish I was far enough along to feel the baby moving around and kicking." I told her as she set her hand on my stomach. "It feels so weird, you know? _Knowing_ that there's a baby growing inside of me…I really like it."

"Do you…do you think that you and Dean will try for another one before he dies?" Sam asked me softly.

I shrugged lightly. "I guess it depends on Dean."

"What depends on me?" Dean asked, coming into the kitchen and plopping down at the island counter next to me, grabbing a pancake from the stack.

"After breakfast sex." I told him before I'd had time to think. "I, uh…promise I'll deliver this time—just no talking."

Why hadn't I just told him what Sam had just said? For some reason I almost felt like it was a secret because what if he _did_ want to try for another baby before he died? I wasn't sure that _I_ did, actually because he was already leaving me with one baby—_two_ would be far too much. So actually, no…no, I knew _exactly_ why I hadn't told Dean exactly what Sam had said.

"Deal." Dean smiled at me. "Every time we start talking, one of us says something stupid and the other one gives up on the idea, and let me tell you—I've never given up on the sex idea until you—demi-god girls not included in the equation."

I nodded at him. "Well…you won't have to deal with it after breakfast. Promise. Just—I'm sorry I've been a handful."

"Don't worry about it, Baby—I understand." Dean told me, resting his hand on my stomach and then nuzzling my neck with his nose.

"I think it's weird and yet oddly endearing that Dean is being so…sweet and romantic." Kate said, holding her hands up in surrender when Dean shot her a look.

I laughed a little and then we all talked a bit and had a nice breakfast together, me laughing some more when Dean watched me finish eating. He'd eaten pretty fast because I had promised some after-breakfast sex, and just to make him wait, I started to eat a little slower, which had Kate in stitches. Then when I was finished Dean picked me up and carried me up the stairs, dropping me on the bed.

"I didn't have _any_ idea that I married a caveman." I told him with a laugh, getting my pajama pants off as he rolled his eyes pulled his shirt off.

He kissed me softly. "I thought there wasn't going to be any talking."

"I love you." I told him, pulling off my shirt and then kissing him again. "All right…_now_ no more talking.

For some reason, _not_ talking was making the sex kind of…bland. It wasn't _bad_—it wasn't bad at all—it was just that we both knew that we were just using this sex to mask having to talk about things and even though his body moving against mine against the bed was pleasing, there was little _feeling_ behind it. Neither of us was all there, even when we climaxed together and kissed each other, our bodies shuddering together.

He ran his fingers along my damp stomach, and I kissed him harder than I had been kissing him before. I rested my hand on his and he ran his nose along mine, both of us catching our breaths and looking each other in the eye. There was something in his eyes that was bothering me, and he looked kind of sad right then…and I felt like a terrible person for being so distant and then he got up and started to get dressed abruptly.

"You must really have somewhere else to be." I told him.

Dean sighed as he zipped up his pants. "I just need to check on something."

"I'm sorry." I said as he headed to the door.

He turned to me and shook his head. "No, it's fine—someday we'll get our relationship back to normal."

He headed out the door and I just laid there under the covers thinking over everything and I finally realized what it was that I needed to do. I just needed to make sure that Dean understood that I _wanted _this from him…that I _wanted_ to have his baby even if he couldn't always be with me and the baby. I mean yeah, I was going to hurt about him leaving us forever, but he didn't need that—not when his time was counting down like this…I had to simply love him.

"Oh God—sorry." Sam said, shielding his eyes as he walked into the room.

"I'm covered." I replied with a laugh.

Sam took his hand down from his face and sat on the side of the bed. "He left pretty abruptly—did you guys talk about something?"

"Worse—he chose to treat me like a one-night stand without knowing my dark secret." I said, and sat up with the covers around me.

"Bad sex?" Sam asked, even though he really didn't want to know the answer.

I shook my head. "No. No—sex with Dean is _never_ bad. It's actually always pretty sensational—this was just more…emotionless. Fantastic—but with way less emotion."

"I meant did _you_ perform badly?" Sam asked with a smile.

I smacked him playfully, and shook my head. "I'm pretty sensational myself."

Sam nodded, and as we both thought more about it, our smiles faded because other than sleeping with him when I was dating Dean, Sam and I weren't ashamed of our past. Honestly I had dated Sam first, and I had really enjoyed being his girlfriend—I could just never love him the way that he would have needed and we both knew that. Sam and I were strictly like brother and sister, and we would never be romantically involved _ever _again because he had Kate and I had Dean. Still…we were both feeling like joking about sex when we both knew what it was like to have sex with _each other_, was a bad idea.

"I'm sorry—for you, _and_ for asking." Sam told me.

I nodded, and then he turned around so I could get up and change, and then we hung out the rest of the day with Kate, until I realized there was something else I needed to do. I went over to Jen's, and walked into Paige's room, Paige of whom had been really sad that I'd thought I couldn't stay. She and I had started becoming such good friends, and now I was pushing everyone away and she looked happy to see me.

"I have things to confide in you." I told her.

She smiled at me. "Yeah?"

"Yeah…I'm pregnant—which you know—but I'm having some doubts about my ability to raise a baby on my own, so I've been talking to Ellen and she's willing to help me after Dean dies because he made this deal to bring Sam back to life after Sam died and I just…I feel kind of lost." I explained to her.

"Well along with Ellen, _I _will help you if you need it." Paige told me, hugging me when I sat on the bed with her. "Kate and Sam will help you too, you know."

I shrugged and nodded. "Yeah…I think…I think mostly I'm just _scared_, Paige. I don't…I don't want to be without him."

"I understand that." Paige said softly. "I kind of like you and Dean together."

"I do too." I admitted, and then the two of us laid there in silence.

We laid there almost all night, until I decided I should be home and when I got there, I had a voicemail from Jen, about Kevin being back for a couple days. I crawled into bed with Dean and we naturally snuggled up against each other, and he automatically protected my stomach with his arm. I just held his hand on my stomach and smiled, so happy to have him in my life—I was blessed, honestly. He was my perfect match, and without him, I knew I wasn't going to get through this.

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed, running my fingers through my hair and getting up to go downstairs. When I listened harder, I heard Kevin and Dean laughing about something, and I had absolutely no idea what. It got me all excited though, because I wanted _so_ badly to see Jen and have her there.

"There's the mother to be!" Kevin exclaimed when I walked into the kitchen. "How are you, Lan?"

I grinned at him. "Fine, Kev. How are you? Shouldn't you be at home spending time with your wife?"

"Why? She's here too." Jen shrugged and I squealed, hugging her tightly. "Oh, Lan, I've missed you too!"

Kevin smiled at us as Jen touched my stomach and smiled brightly. "Hey, I'm gonna steal your husband away for a bit, all right?"

"You're not going to like, convert him to Gayism are you?" I asked, laughing a bit.

Kevin punched my arm playfully. "No."

"You really think I have a gay bone in my body?" Dean asked, coming up to me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Not where it counts."

Dean smirked and kissed me. "If I hadn't promised Kevin I'd let him kidnap me today, I'd prove your point right."

"Well darn-it, Kev." I said, and kissed Dean again. "Go have fun—but not _too_ much, okay?"

"Promise." Kevin told me with a nod.

Dean stroked my cheek with his fingertips, and then kissed me one last time, heading out the door as Lance was knocking. Dean shot him a look but continued out with Kevin, Lance coming in and sitting on the couch with me and Jen. He had things to talk to Jen about and he wanted to congratulate me about the baby and I just smiled—it was nice to know that even though I was afraid of it…I was never _actually _going to be alone.

**Note: Well I hope that satisfied you guys because the next chapter is dramatic and a little more angsty. I have a lot more planned so…hope you stick around! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	52. Worst Fears

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**And here is a fun chapter I think you'll enjoy!**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I had let Kevin take me out because I honestly missed his company—and it was nice to talk to a guy who understood but chose a normal life. He had hunting skills—he seriously did—but he chose to have a family…he chose to keep the woman that he loved safe from everything. So why couldn't _I_ do that? Why couldn't _I_ focus on Lana and on having this baby? There was no reason why I shouldn't…

"Don't hurt yourself, thinking." Kevin told me.

I rolled my eyes at him. "You're a freaking comedian, Kev."

"I try." Kevin said with a smile. "So…what's on your mind?"

"By now your wife has probably told you that I made a crossroads deal." I began, knowing I needed to get all of this off of my chest.

Kevin chuckled and nodded. "One thing you should learn about our wives, Dean—they will always go to _each other_, before they even _think_ about coming to _us_. They love, respect and trust us, but man…if they didn't need us to procreate, sometimes I think they'd just have married each other."

I laughed when he said that and I nodded a bit—honestly I had noticed already that Jen and Lana were that close. There was absolutely _nothing_ that could _ever_ come in between them, and no matter what happened they kept each other in the loop. Then of course since Jen was married, she made it a point to tell Kevin everything…and I knew that Lana did the same for me—even when it was damn hard.

"So you have a year, huh?" Kevin asked me as I looked at the diner food.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…yeah I do. I don't know what to do with it either. Part of me knows that I had a lot of fighting left to do since the door was opened, but the other part of me wants to give Lana the life that she deserves…how do _you_ do it?"

"Honestly the decision was a _lot_ easier to make once the girls were actually born." Kevin admitted with a nod. "Even so, the two of us do our fair share of hunts if we're in the area because it's the right thing to do. On the other hand, we have a family…and putting ourselves in constant danger? Making it so that maybe one day Kaydee and Minah only have one parent—or worse none? It's a decision you're going to have to make on your own, Dean…I can't help you with it."

"I figured you'd say something like that." I told him with a sigh. "Part of me wants to make her stay here—stay safe. Then I think about it more and more and realize that I have a year left to live…_less_ than one, actually…and how can I do that to either of us? Force us to be apart at all?"

Kevin nodded slowly. "Well maybe that's what you needed to think about…how would _you_ like to spend your last year?"

"With Lanni." I answered immediately.

There was no other thought running through my mind when he asked the question and I realized that my mind was now _completely_ made up. So Kevin and I bonded a little more and then I headed to the house, Jen leaving to go and see her husband at home, Lance gone—thank God. I mean I knew I had nothing to worry about with him anymore, and I knew that Lana valued his friendship…but I was never going to like him.

Lana smiled up at me from the couch and I gave a smile back, but kept standing when she motioned to the cushion next to her. I had to tell her everything that I was thinking about, and she was either going to have to accept it or not. Honestly if she didn't understand where I was coming from, then I was going to have a hard time accepting that, but what else could I do? All I could do was be honest with her, and let her know what it was that I feeling…so I took a deep breath.

"I want to stay here with you." I explained to her. "I know we have a mess to clean up out there, but you're more important to me."

Lana smiled at me. "Baby, that's sweet, and I appreciate it, but you're a _hunter_, and hunting is in your blood. I'm not going to make you try and have some sort of picket fence life. We have a mess to clean up out there, Dean—I mean a door to _Hell_ opened."

"You shouldn't be hunting in your condition anyway, Lanni." I tried, running my hand down my face. "I get where you're coming from—I do, and I agree with you about us having to fix what has started—but I feel like I'm a _terrible_ person if I bring you with me. You're carrying our _baby_, and you need to stay here—you need to stay _safe_."

"Dean, we're going to hunt." Lana told me firmly, standing up. "There's a lot more to hunting than the fighting. There's the research and the interrogating…please don't take this away from me. I have a duty, and I know I have one to myself and to keep this baby safe, but I _really_ need to clean up the mess my father started, and you of all people should get that."

I ran my hand down my face—I understood that she felt like she needed to do this because her father had started this war, but why now? She was _pregnant_, and I just wanted to know that she was safe. How was I supposed to live with myself, knowing that bringing her hunting was putting her in danger? Then again, how could I tell her that I _couldn't_ let her do what she thought she _needed_ to do?

"Are we going to fight about this?" Lana asked me cautiously.

I took a deep breath. "I don't want to, but I think it would be best if we just laid off the hunting for now."

"Well…I don't." She replied softly.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

On day 5 after the door to Hell had been opened, I had been avoiding Dean for two days and I was feeling sick about it. I was flattered that Dean had wanted to settle a little but it wasn't because _he _wanted to be out of the action—it was because he wanted _me _out of the action…and we kept fighting about it. He didn't seem to understand that I didn't want to bring a baby into this world like this—I wanted to do some serious damage control first and selfishly…selfishly I felt useless if I wasn't hunting.

I was used to it, and I knew I was in the wrong here, but Dean and I couldn't talk without fighting about it. So I was staying at my aunt's house since staying with anyone other than her would be the worst mistake I could make since Kevin and Jen were on vacation with the girls and Paige was spending all her free time with Ryan. I just needed to figure out how to say what I wanted to say, without coming off sounding hostile in any way…I needed Dean to understand where I was coming from.

"Your phone went off again." Aunt Debra told me, handing it to me as I looked up at her from the couch. "You left it on the kitchen counter."

I smiled sadly and nodded, taking the phone from her and looking at it—Dean had called me again. He knew where I was, and he knew I wanted a little space from him, but we were both hurting without each other and I knew this was my fault this time—_I _was the one being shut-off. Dean had a point here: I had to keep our baby safe and that meant _no_ hunting…but wasn't there a way to do both? I just took a breath and decided to listen to my voicemail, biting my lip when I heard his voice.

"Hey, Lanni. I—I've left several messages. You haven't called me back yet, so here I am again, wondering how you are. I just…I love you so much. I'm not an idiot, you know? I know something's up with you, and I want to help. We shouldn't be having secrets right now. So if you could just call me back…please?" Dean asked me before the line was dead and I sighed and shut my phone.

Aunt Debra looked at me and smiled sadly. "It's time to go home?"

"It's _past_ time to go home." I admitted to her.

"Then I'll pack your duffle and you get something to eat." She told me.

I smiled at her and did as I was told, her driving me to my house and me walking in and going to the kitchen. Kate smiled at me as she put plate of eggs in front of Sam and Dean and when Dean looked over at me to follow her gaze, he looked a mixture of upset and concerned—and happy I was home without a scratch. I went over to him and sat on his lap, making him look at me with different emotions: happiness because I was obviously happy and wanted to be with him, and annoyance because he wanted to eat his eggs.

"Have I told you how incredibly sexy it is to be overprotective?" I asked, kissing him softly. "I mean 12 calls in 2 days?"

"That's our cue to vacate." Kate said, grabbing her plate and leaving the room, Sam right behind her.

Dean smirked at me. "There was some old Lana in that kiss."

"Yeah, well…I was thinking about what you said and I came up with a compromise." I told him, nodding as he did, begging me to continue. "I will stay out of _all _of the fighting, and spend most of my time in the motel room when we're camped out, but we _will _be doing damage control because there is a _lot _that we need to get on top of."

"You know, I could just get on top of you." Dean said, and started lifting up my shirt and I smiled because he was agreeing with me—thank you.

I kissed him softly and whispered, "Well then, let's get on the road."

"All right—_after_ I eat my eggs." Dean replied, kissing me swiftly and then putting a fork full of eggs into his mouth.

xxxx

Day 7 after opening the door, I was pretty much jonesing for my husband and there was nothing that I could do about it. On the one hand I felt bad about making Sam and Kate wait for Dean and I to satisfy ourselves, but on the other hand I really needed to be with my husband. There was only one way to find out if that would happen right now too.

"Sammy, do you mind if we stop at the next motel for a couple hours? Just a couple hours, I swear." I told him.

"Even though we're supposed to be working?" Sam asked, but I could tell he'd already caved to the idea.

I nodded at him. "Yeah. I really need my hubby right now—_seriously_ bad."

"She's jonesing for my non-gay bone." Dean said with a chuckle. "But if you don't want us to stop, then you could always drive, Kate can sit shotgun, and Lanni and I will just go at it in the backseat."

I smacked Dean in the arm. "That was too much information for your our family members."

"That's all too true." Sam told me. "If it gets you two to stop, do whatever."

"Yay!" I exclaimed from the backseat. "I promise it won't be overnight."

Kate laughed loudly. "You two are _so_ romantic."

I laughed a little myself and shrugged, and then Dean pulled over at a motel, and I went to the guy in the front and handed him some cash. Dean was still wanted to I was taking the reins here—besides _I_ had been the one that had suggested we pull over in the first place. All that mattered right then, honestly, was getting the room and using it.

"I need a room for just a couple hours." I told the guy at the desk.

The guy raised an eyebrow. "Just a couple hours?"

"The hubby's outside, and we're newlyweds, and had to pull over." I explained, flashing him the wedding band on my finger. "So, if you could just give me a key that would be awesome."

The guy nodded and handed me a key and I walked outside and held it up and jingled it in front of Dean's face. He kissed me swiftly, and took my hand, leading me to the room, where I held up my hand and went into the bathroom, taking off my clothes, pulling up my hair, and then wrapping a towel around myself. Yeah, we'd promised we'd be quick, but at the same time I was going to make my husband work for it a little—give him a _little_ fun. I mean besides…I rather enjoyed the faces he made when I was playful.

"The towels are soft." I said, coming out of the bathroom and smirking at Dean in a muscle shirt.

He smiled at me. "I feel like we're both a little too into this."

"I think we both deserve it, don't you?" I asked him.

"I certainly do." He agreed with a nod.

I smiled and nodded, dropping my towel and shrugging, making a face like I dropped it on an accident, but oh well. Dean turned to the window and gave Sam and Kate a thumbs up, and then he closed the curtains and turned back to me. He kissed me firmly, taking his belt off and letting me tug at his shirt, pulling it off and tossing it aside.

When I pushed his pants off and went to touch his member, the kisses got a bit more passionate and rough, and we both felt pretty darn good about the whole situation. We were both acting a bit more in character, and it helped because we hadn't been arguing at all since we'd compromised. Dean maneuvered us over to the bed and I let him be on top, knowing the positions would change eventually.

"I love you." I whispered to Dean, tugging at his hair a little to get him to make eye contact with me.

He smirked and stroked my hair. "I love you too."

I smiled at him and pressed my lips to his, biting his bottom one, both of us laughing when we tried to turn over and rolled off of the bed. Dean paused a moment and stroked my stomach, making sure I was all right, and I was—I was honestly feeling pretty damn amazing. He nodded at me and kissed me again pressing his body against mine and rubbing softly, making me yearn for him even more, and we just kept kissing and touching each other even when Sam started knocking on the door repeatedly.

"Its fine he won't really come in." Dean whispered to me when I paused a moment.

Part of me actually doubted Sam would stay out if he really needed one or both of us, but Dean and I were right in the middle, and we didn't want to stop quite yet. Besides, I was distracted when Dean pushed his flesh inside of mine and even Kate warning Sam to stop was kind of pushed from my mind. Even with her warnings, and Dean and I obviously not stopping, Sam did come in, he saw a whole lot more than he wanted to see, and left in a hurry.

"Your poor brother." I breathed out as my body shuddered from my climax, Dean showering my face with kisses as he pulled out.

Dean chuckled softly. "He's going to be fine—Kate _did_ warn him."

"Once more?" I asked Dean in a whisper, my eyes peering into his.

"But what about figuring out what Sam and Kate have?" Dean asked me.

I shrugged a little. "They'll still have the information in a little bit we just have to be a little quicker about this than normal."

Dean chuckled again and whispered that I was insatiable, and we went one more time before getting up and getting dressed, fixing the room up a little. I dropped the keys off with the motel owner, and then I got into the backseat with Kate and brushed my hair. Sam was looking _completely _embarrassed, and Kate was just laughing and rolling her eyes—she honestly found like _everything _entertaining and I _loved _that about her.

"Sorry you had to see that, Sammy." I told him sincerely. "Did you see anything Kate?"

"Let me see your knife." Sam told Dean.

Kate shook her head. "Nah, I knew to keep my head turned away when Sam poked his in despite my warnings."

"What for?" Dean asked and I laughed and nodded, fixing my bangs.

"So I can gouge my eyes out." Sam replied matter-a-factly.

Dean smirked a little. "It was a beautiful, natural act, Sam."

"It's a part of you I never wanted to see, Dean." Sam told him.

I laughed a little. "Prolly a little part of me you didn't want to see either."

"Or at least part of you he hadn't seen in a while." Dean reminded me with a shrug, and Kate blushed—not something she needed to be _reminded _about.

"That's not fair." I told him with a frown. "I just gave you some pretty terrific sex, and you spoiled the moment."

"Sorry, Baby—I do _very_ much appreciate you for what you did back there." Dean told me, and winked in the rearview mirror.

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. "Now I sound easy."

Honestly being this close to Dean was what was making everything worth it, no matter the slight feeling I still had of pain. I didn't want Dean to die—not in the slightest—but I wasn't bringing it up because honestly? Honestly I just wanted to be able to enjoy my husband's company. We hadn't even been married for too long, and I just wanted him to know that no matter what, I was _here_…and I _wasn't_ going anywhere.

Dean laughed and then slapped Sam on the knee. "Thank you for giving me quality time with Lanni back there, Sammy—you too, Kate."

"No problem." They answered together.

Dean looked over at him for a moment. "Really? I gotta say I was expecting a weary sigh or a roll eye. Kate's the one that would just make a sexual joke and then ignore it and possibly laugh."

Sam shook his head. "No, not at all…you guys deserve to have some fun."

"I'm in violent agreement with you, there." Dean smiled and laughed a little, and I pulled my hair back again.

"What does Bobby have?" I asked Sam, brushing my bangs out of my face.

"Not much. Trout swarm and a cicada swarm outside of Lincoln, Nebraska." Sam explained to us. "It could be demonic omens or—"

"Or it could just be bad crops and a swarm of bugs." Dean replied skeptically.

Kate shrugged at him. "Bobby doesn't think so, so we want to check it out."

"It's going to be an interesting ride." I said with a smile.

"Like tonight…back there…" Dean said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Dean…" Sam began.

I rolled my eyes. "It's not for Sammy's ears. Behind closed doors, Baby. Behind closed doors."

"The Impala's doors _are_ closed." Dean said with a smirk.

I leaned forward a little. "The better you are, the more fun you get to have with me. So please…be kind to your brother's ears."

"Yes ma'am." He told me, and we kept driving.

Kate smiled and told us she thought we were adorable, but that even _she_ could do with less of the suggestiveness and I nodded at her. Honestly I couldn't blame her _or_ Sam for wanting Dean and I to keep some things to ourselves—it just wasn't Dean's style and Sam knew that better than anyone. But back to the case at hand, because if Bobby said it was important, than it was.

"All right, so this is our only lead." Sam said with a shrug.

I nodded slowly. "Okay…any weird deaths?"

"Not that Bobby's found." Kate told me with a sigh.

"It's crazy. I mean seven days after Hell's gate is opened and these freaky looking clouds have been sighted over what? 17 cities? You'd think it'd be like Apocalypse Now, but nothing. Bumpkins. What are the demons waiting for?" Dean asked us.

"Beats me." Sam told him.

I shrugged softly. "Maybe they're gearing up for the war."

"I kind of wish if there was going to be a war, it would start up already." Dean said aloud.

Sam took a breath. "I dunno, Man…be careful what you wish for."

Kate nodded quickly. "For all you know you just fucking jinxed us."

I laughed a little and agreed, putting in my headphones and leaning my head against the window because I was feeling kind of queasy. All of the pregnancy symptoms were starting to catch up with me—the smells, the morning sickness—all of it. We drove all night to get to Nebraska, and I did end up dozing off because I was tired—just another pregnancy symptom that I had to deal with, but I was all right with that…just meant that my body was _definitely _making room for a little person, and that had me all excited.

"Lanni?" Kate whispered, stroking my hair. "You wanna stay in the car?"

"Of course not." I whispered back, stretching a little, my eyes still closed.

Dean sighed loudly. "See, this is why I told you to just let her sleep."

"Are those cicadas?" I asked suddenly, all of my senses finally catching up with me.

"Certainly what it sounds like." Sam told me.

I nodded and opened up my eyes, getting out of the car and resting my hand on my stomach, making a face—morning sickness was a bitch. It didn't make it any better that Dean had a greasy cheeseburger and the smell was making me want to yak my guts out. He came over to me to see what was wrong, but I held my hand up and made him keep his distance because his breath was _not _pleasant.

"Have a Nutra Grain bar, Lanni." Kate offered, pulling it out of my duffle. "Morning sickness?"

I nodded at her as Bobby came up to us. "Unfortunately."

"Cicadas can't be a good sign." Dean told us.

"No, it can't be a good sign." Sam agreed as Dean took another huge bite of burger.

"So we're eatin' bacon cheeseburgers for breakfast, are we?" Bobby asked him.

Dean wiped his face with his hand as he chewed. "Sold my soul. Got a year to live. I ain't sweatin' the cholesterol."

"That's one night down." I said, eating a bite of my Nutra Grain bar.

"I can get it back though, right?" Dean asked me.

"Maybe." I contemplated with a playful shrug. "We'll see."

"What do you think? We got a biblical plague here or what?" Sam asked, changing the subject.

Kate ran her hand up and down my back and Bobby smiled at me softly and then turned his attention to Sam. We were here because of a hunt and maybe it _was_ a better idea if I just stayed in the car and tried to keep from throwing up. Besides, I was still tired, and if Dean was going to breathe on me again, I was going to lose it anyway.

"Well let's find out." Bobby replied. "So far I've found zero."

Dean nodded and pointed at me. "She's staying in the car—just in case."

"I don't want to stay in the car by myself, Dean." I told him.

"Alana Rose Winchester." Dean scolded and my jaw dropped.

I smiled a little. "If this wasn't serious business I would jump your bones for being all hot and scolding…carry on—I'll wait in the car."

"Good girl." He told me, and then frowned when I held my hand up and wouldn't let him kiss me. "What?"

"I am _not_ handling your burger smell right now—sorry." I explained to him with a shrug.

"Let your pregnant wife be and follow me, idjit." Bobby told him.

I laughed a little and watched as they went up to the house, leaning on the car and then sensing something as Dean knocked loudly. I hurried over to them because I felt like we were being followed, and Dean made a face, but let it go when I gagged at the smell coming from the house when the door was opened. He just pointed and then held my hair as I threw up, telling me to stick close to him.

"That so can't be a good sign." Dean said as Sam and Kate commented on how awful it smelled.

I put my hand up to my mouth as the other hand held the gun. "I don't think that if anything is in here, it's alive."

We all started searching the house, Bobby and I splitting off from Sam, Kate and Dean. I figured I was just as safe with Bobby as I was with Sam, Kate and Dean, and I didn't want to hang out by myself. Besides, this baby was supposed to be protected and nothing was supposed to be able to harm it…it would be fine.

"So how'd you get them to let you come?" Bobby asked me.

I shrugged softly. "They knew they needed extra hands—plus I think Dean trusts my life in your hands, so he's not going to freak out too badly with me being here searching with you."

"But what about the baby?" Bobby asked me.

"The baby is going to be fine, Bobby." I told him with a soft smile. "Thank you for worrying, but this baby is resilient, and I won't let anything happen to it."

Bobby just nodded, though I knew he wanted to know more. We kept searching until we heard a woman somewhere in a room and so we walked into the room Sam, Kate and Dean were already in and the smell was even worse—there were three dead people just sitting on the couch. It was kind of disturbing, and I felt the chunks rising again and I had to swallow a few times to regain composure.

"Bobby, what the Hell happened here?" Sam asked him.

"I don't know." Bobby replied, shaking his head and we all looked at the people on the couch—it was really sad to see them like that, the television still on and everything.

Dean spoke up in the silence. "Check for sulfur."

We nodded at him and looked around, none of us finding anything and then Dean heard a noise. We split up again, Dean firmly telling me that I had to stay safe, but I wanted to help, and followed him out after a moment or two. For some reason, no matter how many times I tried to talk myself out of it, I kept landing on the _same_ conclusion: I didn't want Dean to die before his time was finished counting down.

When I got outside, Dean had been knocked down by someone, a man and a woman standing over him with a rifle pointed at him. I pointed my gun at the man who was holding the rifle, but Bobby pushed my hand down. From the look on his face he knew what was going on, but just in case, I kept my finger on the trigger of my gun so I could fight if need be.

"Isaac? Tamyra?" Bobby asked, going up to them.

"Bobby? What the Hell are you doing here?" Tamyra asked him.

Bobby smiled at them. "I could ask you the same."

"Hey, Bobby." Isaac said, and the two firmly shook hands.

"Helloooo," Dean said sticking his hand up in the air, "bleeding here."

I laughed, and took his hand, helping him up to his feet. "You're perfectly fine."

"Are you sure? You haven't checked everywhere yet." Dean said, and winked.

I smiled a little and shook my head. "There are other people around us."

Dean just smiled at me and then he took my free hand, our fingers interlacing and I was glad he had me pulled close to him. We all went with Isaac and Tamyra to a safe location, and then Kate and I both got phone calls we had to take: me from Jen and her from her mother. Just in case I never mentioned it before: her parents were still alive and kicking…they were just a little estranged from her.

"All right, so I can't find anything. Other than the cloud sightings, there's like nothing. I'm still trying, but right now I think they're laying low." Jen told me firmly.

"Why would you think that?" I asked her.

Jen sighed softly. "Because I mean if you were a demon that just got out of Hell, would you want to attract hunters and get sent back?"

"You have a really good point." I admitted to her and then made a face. "Hey, I'd love to sit here and talk more, but Kate's looking all worried, and Dean's flirting with some girl on the phone that isn't me."

Jen laughed loudly. "Yeah, you _totally_ picked the right one to marry."

"Even with his bad days, Dean Winchester is the guy for me." I told her with a smile.

"All right. Bye, Lanni. Take care of yourself, and for Heaven's sake—don't get this baby of yours hurt in any way, please." Jen told me firmly.

I nodded and smiled at her. "Yeah, bye, Jenny."

We hung up, and I realized when I poked my head back in that I'd gotten there right in the middle of a fight. I leave for one moment just to step outside the room and suddenly everyone was arguing about things. For once, couldn't we just run into some hunters that actually _wanted_ our help? That would make _everyone's _lives easier, wouldn't it? Wouldn't it make everyone happier to have help now that there were more demons?

"You guys seem nice enough, but this isn't Scooby Doo, and we don't play well with others." Isaac told us.

"I just think we'd cover more ground if we worked together." Sam told him—he had a serious point.

"Well no offense, but we're not teaming up with the damned fools that opened the gate to Hell in the first place." Isaac explained to us.

Dean scoffed. "No offense."

"Like you've never made a mistake." Tamyra told her husband.

"Sure, like leaving my keys in the car. Never brought on the end of the world though." Isaac explained to her.

Dean scoffed again. "Okay, that's enough."

"You know, technically _we_ didn't open the door. If anything, we got it closed before more demons got out. It's a tragedy that we didn't get to it before the demon _did_ get it open, but this _isn't_ our fault. So you can go ahead and take your thoughts and shove them." I said, and then I sighed when I realized how it'd all come out. "Sorry, that was a really rude way of putting it."

I rubbed my temples and shrugged a little when Bobby looked at me and even _Dean_ was surprised. Yes, I had my forward moments, but I'd just shot my mouth off to a random hunter I'd _just_ met and told him to shove it. Wow…I needed to calm down, and I needed to make sure that I didn't shoot my mouth off like that again because it wasn't really like me…was it?

"There are hundreds of more demons out there. We don't know where, and they'll strike, and we don't know when, or how. You've brought war down upon us." Isaac told us. "All of us."

"I think that's enough testosterone for now." Tamyra said, and pulled Isaac out of the room as he and Dean made faces at each other.

I waited until they left the room to speak again. "Does anyone else not remember that it was _Jake_ who put the Colt into the door in the first place? And it was us who had to push on the door to close it? How is it _we're_ suddenly being blamed for all of this?"

Bobby sighed softly. "We were there. I didn't see us sacrificing anyone to just kill Jake so the door wouldn't get opened."

"Oh, so caring about Ellen, and then letting him get the Colt in the door, gets to be our responsibility? Fantastic." I said, and put my hands in my pocket. "This is going to be the best thing that's happened to us ever—we can't even get other hunters to help us out."

That's when I felt it—someone else was around and they felt _powerful_. Bobby went to close the curtains, and we all got settled into the house, so we could rest and I needed it, but I was feeling kind of weird about it all now. I sat up a bit as Dean put his arm around me though, and he looked at me, knowing that something was up with me when I made a face and glanced around the room.

"What's up?" He asked me.

I shook my head. "Just a feeling…someone's here."

"Really?" Dean asked softly.

"Yeah." I nodded slowly.

"I'll go check." He told me.

As he got up, I started to get up too, and he shook his head and I knew that he was just looking out for the baby. If there really _was_ someone dangerous around, then I shouldn't be putting myself in danger. I knew I had to wean myself from this impulsiveness, but it was going to be hard and I needed to wrap my head around actually being pregnant this time—I was being completely stupid.

"I can do it." Dean explained to me. "I'll yell if I get into any trouble."

I nodded slowly. "All right."

Dean took the gun and left the room, and I leaned back on the couch and smiled a little, running my fingers along my stomach. Honestly how hard was it to get used to being _pregnant_? I mean all I had to do was remind myself that everything I did had repercussions for me _and _for the baby. I looked up when Dean came back in about twenty minutes later, and he shook his head.

"I didn't see anyone." He told me.

I nodded slowly. "That can't be a good sign."

"You sure you felt someone?" Dean asked me. "I mean not that I'm questioning you, but you seem to be off with all your hormones interfering with your powers and senses."

"Don't worry, I know that." I told him, snuggling into him when he sat down next to me again. "At the same time…I'm _positive_ I felt someone."

xxxx

The next day we were woken up because Bobby had heard that there had been an incident in a store—one woman had killed another woman for some killer shoes. So Sam, Kate, Dean and I all got dressed up and headed to the store to do some questioning—it was something that Dean was actually _letting_ me do. At the same time though, Dean had his flirt-mode on and I knew he was at first using it to get information, but I was starting to get downright annoyed with it.

"You know, what happened outside makes you think about how fragile life really is. You gotta make each second count." Dean was telling an attractive employee at the store.

Kate made a face at him and went to smack him around, but I held her back and shook my head. Honestly part of me was feeling like if this was how Dean wanted to spend his time, then this was how he should spend it. Besides, it was just flirting, even though I started to twist my wedding band and make a face, and Sam cleared his throat.

"Excuse me a second." Dean told the girl, and she grinned at him and walked away.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Sam asked him.

"Comforting the bereaved." Dean replied. "What are _you_ doing?"

Sam put his hands in his pockets. "Workin'. Dead body. Possible demon attack. That kind of thing."

Dean put his hand to his mouth, acting sick. "Sam, I'm sorry, it's just, you know I don't have much time left," Dean choked on invisible stale air, bile, whatever made his conscience feel better he was playing the 'I'm dying card', "and gotta make each second count."

"Yeah. Right. Sorry." Sam said sarcastically.

"Don't be." I told Sam, walking past. "Trust me, you shouldn't be sorry."

Dean sighed and took my hand, sighing again when I avoided the eye contact, only looking at it when he leaned in. It was right in front of the girl he'd just been hitting on, and I smiled a little when he kissed me firmly. He loved me, and I got that, and I got that flirting was something that Dean did, but did he have to do it so much now that he only had one year to live?

I pulled away and took a hold of his tux jacket. "I think you just got another night down, _and_ you have to make this up to me with one of the nights you _do_ have."

"All right, I can deal with that." Dean told me, stroking my hair. "So how about we find Bobby and—whoa!" Dean whistled as Bobby showed, "Lookin' spiffy, Bobby."

"The man _does_ clean up nice." I said winking at Bobby playfully and shrugging when Dean shot me a look. "What? He's a looker and _you_ flirt all the time."

"Returning from the D.A.'s office." Bobby explained to us, changing the subject when Dean just nodded at me. "I just talked to the suspect."

"Yeah? What did you get out of it?" I asked him. "Do you think she possessed?"

"If she was, there were no usual signs. No black-outs, no loss of control. Totally lucid. I think she just really wanted those shoes." Bobby said with a nod. "I even spilled a glass of Holy Water on her just to be sure. Nothin'."

I bit my lip and sighed because if Holy Water didn't work, than what the Hell was going on here? Someone was dead because of _shoes_…that was just messed up on so many different levels—the shoes weren't worth it. Did this have to do with the supernatural even? Honestly? Maybe we should be pushing off and on…

"Maybe she's just your run of the mill whack job." Dean offered, checking out the woman as she walked by again, and I stomped on his foot and took his hand.

"If it was a controlled situation, sure." Bobby agreed with him. "But the family, and now this? I believe in a lot of things, but coincidence ain't one of 'em."

I sighed and shrugged. "We didn't find anything either. No sulfur, no nothing."

"Well, maybe something." Dean said and we followed his gaze to the security camera and then he looked at us. "See? I'm working."

The four of us got in to look at the footage, and just when it felt like there was nothing to be found, we saw a man putting his hand on the suspect's shoulder. Both of their gazes were focused on the victim of the attack and it seemed like this was _definitely_ supernatural. Kate pointed out the man and I nodded as she was pointing him out because he was a demon—Kate was _never _wrong about these kinds of things.

"Well that's amazing. You think he was a demon and he got her to do that just by touching her? That's messed up." I said aloud.

We split up again, only this time Sam went off on his own, and I felt that presence again—I didn't know how to explain it, but it was there. Someone was around. Someone was out there. I wasn't hallucinating and my hormones weren't getting in the way, so I was completely vibing correctly here. Right when I thought I felt her more clearly, I turned and looked down the sidewalk, Sam and I making eye contact—he'd felt the presence too so I was _definitely _onto something here.

"I'm going with Sam." I said suddenly. "Two and three is better odds anyway, right?"

Before they could protest or anything, I hurried down the sidewalk and Sam looked at me. He knew that no matter what was happening here, I needed to be safe, but he was freaked about the presence—and so was I. What were we being stalked by? Whatever it was, it was powerful and at first I had thought 'demon' but then again what if it _wasn't _a demon? I needed to figure this out.

"I felt the same presence last night." I told Sam. "This is no coincidence."

Sam sighed loudly. "Great. Let's just find out who this guy is."

I nodded, and Sam and I found the information we needed, and about 7 past midnight, we went to see Dean, Kate and Bobby. Sam banged on the window of the passenger seat, Dean and Bobby jumping while Kate cursed and Sam and I just laughed because honestly it had entertained us. We knew we should have been nicer about it, but at the same time, Sam and I were just having a little fun.

"That's not funny." Dean said as Sam opened the door.

"We had to." I told him, Sam and I pushing the seat Dean was in up so we could climb into the back of Bobby's car with Kate.

"I just got my night back." Dean explained to me, pointing at me.

I nodded and laughed. "Seems fair."

"So John Doe's name is Walter Rosen. He's from Oak Park, just west of Chicago. Went missing about a week ago." Sam said changing the subject.

"The night the Devil's Gate opened?" Dean asked us.

"Yepperz." I replied with a nod.

It seemed that even though the demons weren't doing a whole lot, they were definitely doing _something_. We needed to figure out what, too, because honestly I didn't understand doing this if this really _was_ demons. I mean what was the purpose of this? What were we dealing with?

Dean nodded slowly. "So you think he's possessed?"

"It's a good bet." Sam and I answered together.

"So what, they can just touch people to make them do their bidding?" Kate asked aloud.

"Those demons that got out are going to know a Hell of a lot more tricks than we're familiar with." Bobby explained. "There's gonna be a whole lot we haven't seen."

"You mean the demons we let out?" Sam asked him.

I sighed loudly. "If that's the way you want to look at it…then yeah."

I knew that technically we _were _part of the reason that the other demons were out, but it just wasn't fair at the same time. Yeah, I understood that Jake getting to where he was able to open the gate was kind of on our heads, but it was getting ridiculous. I opened my mouth to say something about it, but the guy we were tailing got out of his car and Dean's whole faced changed.

"Showtime." Dean told him.

Bobby looked at him. "Now, wait a minute."

"What?" Dean asked him.

"Did you not just hear Bobby?" I asked Dean with a look on my face.

Bobby nodded. "We have no idea what to expect from this guy that Kate thinks is a demon. We should tail him until we know for sure."

"Oh, so he kills somebody and we just sit here with our junk in our hands?" Dean asked angrily.

"We're no good dead." Bobby replied quickly.

I nodded in agreement. "I agree with Bobby. We shouldn't make a move until we know exactly what's going down."

"I would normally agree, but I don't think that's an option." Kate told us. "Looks like Isaac and Tamyra are heading in and they're gonna need some back-up."

"Damn-it!" Bobby said, smacking the steering wheel.

I took a breath. "Well maybe now's as good a time as any to hone my demon skills."

Everyone looked at me questioningly except for Kate—she really wanted me to do what I thought I needed to do. Besides, Mom had told me to focus on getting a handle on myself and on my powers. If that was what I needed to do, then why not do it now? I could figure out how many demons were in there…

"Yeah, cause that's a smart idea right now." Bobby told me.

I sighed softly. "Look, my demon skills could be really useful. I bet I could sense how many demons were in there if I tried hard enough."

"You think there's more than one?" Sam asked me.

Kate nodded. "Why would there only be one?"

"Just be careful." Dean said, turning around a little in his chair.

I kissed him softly. "I'm going to be fine. I just sit here and focus. Meaning you four have to be quiet."

"This going to be okay for the baby?" Bobby asked me.

I nodded as I closed my eyes. "The baby's fine."

"You know, maybe you shouldn't be here." Dean told me. "You shouldn't be fighting—you should be in the motel."

"As I recall, Dad said the baby couldn't be harmed—and so far it can't be. So I'm going to trust he wasn't just trying to get me to stop demons with reverse psychology—he wanted this baby used for evil—nothing can touch it." I explained. "Now be quiet."

Kate bit her lip and sighed. "Fine—we'll shut up then."

The four of them were silent for a good little bit, and I focused. Actually getting in touch with my demon part was a little scary, mainly because I felt a little schizophrenic whenever I let her out, but this was good—she was working with me. Killing my father hadn't silenced her for good, which freaked me out in itself, but everything was going great…until I heard her laugh.

"We have to get inside." I said, my eyes snapping open.

"What is it?" Dean asked me.

"There are six, maybe seven demons in there." I replied, pushing Dean's seat up and getting out of the car.

Bobby got out next. "Are you sure."

"Too sure." I replied, and pulled Holy Water out of my boot, going towards the doors.

They were barred, and so we beat our bodies against them, and then I started to say an incantation when Bobby stopped me. I turned to him and looked at him, completely miffed by his behavior—I _needed_ to do this. Using my magic was a good thing right now…it was part of who I was, and I needed to be in _complete_ control of it.

"You've done enough." Bobby told me.

He got us all back into the car, and he drove it through the barricade—okay, so this plan worked too but my plan did less damage to Metallicar. We were too late to save Isaac, but we all started throwing Holy Water at the demons, and got into the car, Dean staying behind, thinking he was being a hero. I _really_ didn't need this kind of stress, and I understood on some level what he was doing and _why_ he was doing it, but what the _Hell_?

"Dean!" Sam called. "Dean, get in the car!"

"I swear to God, Dean!" I yelled at him.

Dean ran out of Holy Water, and so he beat the guy we'd come for, and he got him into the trunk, which had a Devil's Trap on the top of it. Then Bobby got us out of there, and we returned to the house, and tied the demon up, Tamyra, Sam and Kate arguing about whether or not it was all right to go back and fight or not. Everything was falling apart right now…_everything_.

"I'll go with her." Dean said with a shrug.

I scoffed and looked at him. "Like Hell you're going."

"It's suicide, Dean!" Sam told him strongly.

"So what? I'm dead already." Dean reminded him.

"That is fucking _it_!" I yelled, cutting Tamyra and Dean both off when they started to talk again. "Your husband is dead, and I'm sorry, but _my_ husband is not running off with you to get himself sent to an early fucking grave! Do you even know who those demons fucking are? No! You don't! You know why? Because you're too busy whining and being vengeful! _Seven_ demons! _Seven_! You get it yet? They're the seven fucking deadly sins!"

Dean nodded a little then chuckled. "What's in the box?"

"Cut it out!" I told him sharply. "Cute that you're quoting 'Seven', but shut the Hell up right now, Dean. These demons are live and in the flesh! Kate _knew_ they were demons, I _felt_ them, and it's all just _so _obvious now that I can understand a little what my feelings mean. I get that we need to fight them, but we need a fucking plan!"

I cringed a little as I felt a pain shoot through my abdomen and I nodded as Bobby continued as I took a breath. I was pissed off, and I was stressed out, and the baby wasn't happy with me—and I wasn't happy with Dean or Tamyra right then…they were going about this _all wrong_. Still, I listened as Bobby explained that Ben Fields' classification of demons in 1859 explained that he'd IDed the deadly sins as actual demons.

"The family…they were touched by Sloth." Sam nodded slowly.

Kate took a breath. "The woman by Envy, and Isaac by Gluttony."

"I don't give a rat's ass if they're the three stooges or the four tops! I'm going to slaughter every last one of them!" Tamyra yelled at us.

Bobby got in her face. "We already did this your way. Now wise up, and look what happened! These demons have been around for a millennium. I'm talking medieval! Dark Ages! We have no idea what they are capable of, and so we are gonna take a deep breath…AND FIGURE OUT WHAT OUR NEXT MOVE IS!"

I nodded in agreement with him and rested my hand firmly on my stomach, biting my lip and trying to look like I was fine. Kate saw right through me and put her hand on the small of my back, running her fingers along my back to calm my nerves. Something was wrong, and I could feel it, and yet the tension in the ear was really putting a damper on everyone's moods.

"I am sorry for your loss." Bobby said, having calmed down just a little.

Then he went to go see Envy—the demon we'd thankfully caught—Tamyra following right after him. Sam and Dean shared a look, but Sam was angry with his brother, and so he followed after the other two, Kate leaving the room. I looked at Dean and he looked at me, taking a breath and nodding when I started to talk to him—he knew from my outburst before that I was _angry_.

"You're being selfish." I said, and started to follow Sam.

"Don't I have a right to be?" Dean asked me.

I stopped a moment. "As a hunter? Sure. As my husband? Absolutely not. Stop being such a dick, please."

"So you know who I am?" Envy asked with a laugh.

"Yeah…and we're not impressed." Bobby replied.

Envy nodded. "She is. Her demon side, anyways."

I smiled a mean smile. "Yeah, she totally thinks you're a riot. Now how about you answer their questions so I don't have to let her out to kick your ass?"

"What are you after?" Sam asked him as Dean cross to the other side in front of him.

"I believe he asked you a question." Dean set the book on the table with a hard thud. "What do you want?"

Envy looked at us and started laughing, so Dean took some Holy Water and splashed it on him. We really needed our answers and at the same time it all made sense to me what he wanted—this was a deadly _sin_ in the _flesh_. What else did he want? To toy with us…to watch humans _destroy_ themselves. Hell, if I wasn't such a fan of living and saving the innocent, my _good_ side would be impressed.

"We already have what we want." Envy panted, as the pain of the Holy Water subsided.

Dean gave him a look. "And what's that?"

"Out." I said with a shrug. "They're out of Hell…they're free."

"Thanks to you…my kind are everywhere." Envy replied with a smile and a nod. "I am legion, for we are…many. So we're just celebrating—having a little fun."

"Couldn't you just like go to bars and drink and get laid? Isn't that fun enough?" I asked him with a little laugh.

Envy smiled at me. "Some people go and get laid, as you said, Lana. Some people crochet. Some play golf. Me? I like to see people's insides…on their outside."

"Of course you do." I told him with a nod. "What _else_ would you like?"

Tamyra stepped up close to him. "I'm going to put you down like a dog."

"Please. You really think you're better than me. Which one of you can cast the first stone, huh? What about you, Dean? You're practically a walking billboard of gluttony and lust." Envy asked him and I nodded as Dean did too.

"Yeah, it's kind of true." I agreed.

"And you, Lana…vanity and envy is written all over you. Some sloth, I suppose." Envy said, looking me over. "Lust, but only where Dean is concerned…you're my favorite."

I laughed a little. "Well I'm not going to argue with you, and you flatter me, really."

Envy smiled and continued. "Tamyra—all that wrath. It's the reason you and Isaac became hunters in the first place. It was easier to drink in the rage…then to face what happened…all those years ago."

Tamyra got angry and struck him, Dean and Bobby restraining her. She definitely had a past, and Envy definitely had her right there—she had a _lot_ of wrath in her. The thing I needed to know was whether or not I could trust her…whether or not I could trust her enough to fight this fight with her. I needed her to have her wits about her because it was becoming obvious that if we didn't fight this head on…they'd just come for us anyway.

Envy laughed loudly. "See? And you call us sins. We're not sins, Man…we're pure, human, instinct. And you can suppress us all you want, but the truth is _you're_ animals. Horny, vain, hungry, jealous, violent animals. You'll be slaughtered like animals too." Envy looked around. "They're coming for me."

Dean smiled at him. "Maybe…but they won't find you…cause you'll be in Hell."

Envy's smug grin was wiped off of his face and I laughed a little. "Too bad…and you thought you had everything all figured out, Envy."

"Someone send this clown packing." Dean said, crossing back across the room.

"My pleasure." Tamyra told him.

She opened the book and began to chant as Bobby, Sam, Dean and I went into the other room, and Envy screamed. It was nice to have Tamyra on our side with all that angry in her, but I was worried about the outcome of this fight. Honestly, I had thought about giving this one up, but I couldn't now…not when Dean was on some sort of kamikaze mission now that I had him back out in the action…this was all my fault.

"I don't think hunting them is going to be the problem." Bobby said softly.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked him.

I crossed my arms over my chest. "It looks like they'll be hunting us instead."

"And I don't think they'll quit easy." Bobby added.

"Then we almost have to fight, don't we?" Kate asked aloud. "We're all thinking it."

"Why don't you guys take Tamyra and head for the hills? I'll stay back, slow 'em down, buy us some time." Dean said, totally unphased by anything.

I stepped up in his face. "Absolutely not."

"You're insane Dean. Just forget about it, okay?" Sam told him.

"Sam and Lana are right." Bobby told him.

Kate shook her head and scoffed. "Dean…why are you being such a dick?"

I looked at her and smiled sadly at her, _so_ glad to have her in my corner right now and saying to him what _I_ wanted to say to him. He had been acting like wanted me…like he wanted our baby…but suddenly it was like he couldn't die fast enough. What the Hell was going on? What had changed? What in the world was he _thinking_?

"There's six of them, guys and they're _powerful_." Dean explained to us.

I laughed and shook my head. "Dean, there's six of us, and I think we can handle ourselves. We've got four hunters, and two _very_ skilled witches—we're going to be fine."

"_You're_ not fighting." Dean told me firmly.

"Dean's right." Bobby agreed with a nod.

I shook my head. "No…he's really not. I mean all he's going to say is that I have me to worry about, and I have the baby to worry about—but so does he and the difference here is that _I_ actually care. So the plan is this: we each take on a sin, and we put the bitches back in the pit where they belong—argue with me and I'm shooting a fireball at you, end of conversation."

I knew that my voice was breaking a little but I left the room, all of us getting ready when Tamyra came and told us Envy was back in Hell and the man didn't make it. She didn't seem sad about that in the slightest and right then I just didn't have the time to care about how much I didn't' like her—I needed to focus on staying alive. My words had cut everyone in the room and I didn't care…I just had _so_ much on my plate and I had to get through this fight to deal with it.

"The radio's on." Kate said when it fizzled and came on.

Dean cocked his gun and stood up. "Time to go."

"Kill what you can." I told them, and went past Dean, sighing when he took my hand. "If you just want to tell me that you love me, or that you don't want me to get myself killed, save your breath, Dean. Right now, I can't deal with it."

"Good luck." Dean said with a nod.

I nodded and smiled sadly. "You too."

We all split up, and one of the demons possessed Isaac's dead body, and Tamyra went out to fight it, letting the other demons in. Thankfully there was one for each of us, and I smiled a little when I saw a man in a suit, and I knew I was facing the one that I wanted. I stood there and let him come near me, and then he stopped and laughed because obviously the Devil's Trap _didn't_ fool him in the slightest.

"Please. You really think something like that is going to fool me? I mean, me?" He asked with a smug smile.

I smiled at him. "So…do you like 'Pride' or 'Vanity' more?"

"I go by either, honestly." He told me with a grin.

"Well I'm gonna have to waste you cause I'm stronger." I said, enjoying this fight.

"This is about me right now." Pride told me, holding up his hand. "I'm the root of all sin."

I laughed a little. "And a little vain yourself."

"You're Lana Winchester. Yeah…I know about you and Dean." Pride said when I looked at him. "Your Dad _really_ wanted you to fulfill your potential…guess your son will have to do that."

"My Dad is dead, Pride." I explained with a shrug. "So we done talking yet?"

"Not all of us will bow to Sam." Pride told me.

I swallowed. "Bow to Sam? What does that even mean? And please—learn what a breath mint is…I can smell your breath from here."

"If there was a sin for over exertion of the mouth, you would be the sole embodiment of it." Pride told me with a laugh.

"Did Pride just give…someone else a compliment?" I asked him beaming.

Pride had had just about enough with me, and so he started to fight me, me throwing some spells at him. He was strong, but I was gaining the upper hand, until a blonde girl came in and stabbed him with a knife when he knocked me down to the ground, my lip split. She had been who I had been sensing before and there was something about her that was…_familiar_…I just couldn't put my finger on it…it was demonic…

"You killed him…with a _knife_." I told her.

She smiled at me. "Take care of that baby."

"What?" I asked her, but she hurried out and when I went after her, she had disappeared. "What the fuck? Great…there's even more mystery and crap to deal with."

xxxx

We ended up having to salt a burn a whole lot of bodies—and Tamyra had to burn Issac's body. Realizing that slaying together was what we did I hoped and prayed that I wouldn't ever have to do that to Dean—or any other family member again. Sure death came with being a hunter, but this was the _worst_ part of the job…I couldn't handle this right now.

"You think she'll be okay?" Sam asked aloud, referring to Tamyra.

Kate shrugged softly. "When you have to bury—or burn—someone you love, something inside snaps…but I think she'll be okay in the end."

"I don't think she will be." Dean said shaking his head.

"She's a strong woman…she'll make it through. Heaven knows that I've buried enough and burned enough people to know that sooner or later it gets okay." I told them. "Of course…I had you guys, and Jenny and Kevin to get me through."

"You look like Hell." Dean told Bobby as he came out of the house.

Bobby wiped his face tiredly. "You try exorcising all night and see how you feel."

"Any survivors, Bobby?" Sam asked him.

"The pretty girl and the heavy guy…they'll make it." Bobby replied with a nod. "They'll need psychiatric help, but they'll be fine."

"It's a lot more than you can say for these poor bastards." Dean said, pulling out the matches.

Sam looked up. "Bobby…that blade…what kind of knife can kill a demon?"

Sam, Kate and I had all been shown up by the _same_ blonde and it was kind of disconcerting. Not that she had the upper hand—it wasn't that—it was that she had come out of nowhere and then just disappeared. Who was she? Why was she helping? Why had she cared that I take care of my baby? Was she _really_ demonic?

"I don't know. I never thought there was any such thing." Bobby replied, shaking his head.

"There's been talk of a weapon like that, but I thought it was just a story." Kate explained. "We're going to have to look into it."

Dean smirked. "I'm just gonna ask again: who was that masked chick? Actually the more troubling question is how come a girl can fight better than you?"

"Hey!" I said loudly.

"She came out of _nowhere_!" Kate protested.

Dean nodded at that. "Oh! Yeah. Whatever it takes to get you through the night."

"Be nice to him…" I told Dean, rolling my eyes and shaking my head.

"Oh I haven't even _started _with _you_, Lanni." Dean told me. "I mean Kate's all witchy and demonic and I'm still confused _she _was bested when she kicks serious ass, but _you_? You're all witchy, demonic _and _part werewolf! Where were those senses when you were getting your ass kicked?"

Bobby smacked his arm. "She's pregnant, give her a break. Even with all that potential power, she's off balance."

"See, _Bobby_ understands!" I told him. "So be nice to me too."

"Doesn't matter that the chick got the best of me—I can still kick _your_ ass, Dean." Kate said with a smile and a shrug.

Sam laughed and kissed the top of her head. "My money's on you too, Kate."

"Mine as well." I agreed with a nod.

"Hey!" Dean exclaimed.

I just shrugged and pointed at Kate because honestly I thought she _could_ take Dean and it was funny to think about. If he really ever got on her bad side, she'd take him and he'd deserve it and besides…I was still mad at him. Even if I _didn't_ believe that she could take him—which sorry, she _so_ could—I _wouldn't_ be on Dean's side because he was being ridiculous and I didn't know how to fix this.

"I have an even more troubling question for you." Sam said in the sudden silence.

"Yeah? What?" Dean asked him.

Sam took a breath. "If we let out the seven deadly sins…what else did we let out?"

We all nodded, and then looked down at the grave because that really _was_ a troubling question. What if the deadly sins weren't even the _worst_ demons that we could encounter right now? There were all sorts of terrible things that we could potentially come in contact with, and I didn't know if we could handle that…if _I_ could handle Dean just putting himself out there to get killed…

"You're right…that is troubling." Dean said, and lit the match, tossing it into the hole and we watched as it burned.

"See you dopes around." Tamyra told us as we readied ourselves to leave, a bag over her shoulder.

Bobby looked at her. "Tamyra? The world just got a lot scarier. Be careful." Bobby told her.

She nodded at him. "You too."

Tamyra was definitely broken inside, but I knew that she'd be able to handle herself if she could calm down a little. She put her things in the car, and then Bobby turned back to the four of us and I smiled at him. I hated parting with him, but he hunted his own way, and so did we—we'd see each other again and we knew it, but for now…for now we were parting company.

"Keep your eyes peeled for Omens. I'll do the same." Bobby told us.

"You got it." Dean nodded at him.

Bobby stopped walking away and looked directly at me, and I smiled because his gaze was killing me. "If anything happens to that baby, I'm going to be very angry with you."

"Don't worry, Bobby—I'm going to protect this baby with my life." I assured him, and he nodded and started to walk away again.

"Bobby?" Sam asked, and he turned around again. "We uh…we can win this war…right?"

The four of us stood there in silence, and then Bobby started walking away again. "Catch you on the next one."

The fact that he didn't know and he didn't necessarily think we could kind of got to me, and I felt that pain in my abdomen again. We just watched as Bobby got into his car and drove away, and then Dean turned to us and rubbed his hands together. Kate was suddenly on her guard, and I _really_ hoped she wasn't gonna have to rip him a new one.

"So where to now?" Dean asked.

Sam shrugged at him. "Uh…I don't know. I was thinking Louisiana maybe."

Dean made a face. "It's a little early for Marti Gra isn't it?"

"You're ridiculous." Kate told him, laughing a little and shaking her head.

"Listen, I was talking to Tamyra, and she mentioned this HooDoo priest that may be able to help you out with your…you know…your demon deal." Sam explained, changing the subject.

"Nah." Dean said after a pause.

Kate, Sam and I all looked at him and then I found myself cringing again and I realized that something was _seriously_ wrong. It wasn't just Dean being a dick, it was the baby—something didn't feel right with the baby. Why was this happening now? Like this?

"Nah?" Sam asked him. "What does that mean, 'nah'?"

Dean shrugged at him. "It means no HooDoo spell is going to break this deal, all right? It's a goose chase."

"We don't know that, Dean." Sam protested.

"Yes we do. She can't help us. And that's that." Dean said nodding.

Sam gave Dean another look. "But—"

"—we're not going, and that's that." Dean told him.

"You're not even going to try?" I asked him angrily.

"What about Reno? Huh?" Dean asked us.

Kate shook her head. "You can't just…Dean—"

"—you know what?" Sam asked Dean, cutting Kate off. "I've had it. I've been bending over backwards trying to be nice to you, but I don't care anymore."

"That didn't last long." Dean said making a face.

"Yeah, well you know what? I've been busting my ass trying to keep you alive, Dean, and you act like you couldn't care less. What, you got some kind of death wish or something?" Sam asked him.

Dean shook his head. "No, it's not like that."

"Then what's it like, Dean?" Sam and I asked angrily.

"Sam…" Dean tried.

"No, please—tell us." I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "Tell us why suddenly it doesn't matter how long you're here. Tell us why you think that I should even give a fuck about any of this anymore."

Dean took a deep breath and after a pause he looked up at the three of us. "We trap a crossroads demon, trick it, try to welch our way of the deal in any way...you die. Sam dies, okay, Lanni? Those were the terms, there's no way out of it. If you try to find a way, so help me God, I'm going to stop you—all three of you."

Sam and I took a moment to let the actual severity of the moment set in, and Kate shook her head. She was running her fingers through her hair because she had _no _idea what to say and neither did I. That meant that no matter what we did, it was a choice between Dean and Sam. One of them was going to die…and we couldn't stop it and that hurt me, and it was stressing me out.

"How could you make that deal, Dean?" Sam asked Dean. "I mean I don't want to lose Kate and any of you but you have _so_ much more to live for, Dean."

Dean shrugged sadly. "Because I couldn't live with you, dead. Couldn't do it."

"So what? Now I live and you die?" Sam asked angrily.

Dean nodded at him. "That's the general idea, yeah."

"You're a hypocrite, Dean." Sam told him, cutting off his access to the Impala as Dean tried to go to the car and I felt something. "How did you feel when Dad sold his soul for you? Because I was there—I remember. You were twisted, and broken. And now you go and do the same thing…to me. You left your wife, and unborn son knowing that they have to fend without you, and you dropped everything good in your life just to bring me back. What you did was selfish."

Dean nodded again. "Yeah, you're right. It was selfish. But I'm okay with that."

"I'm not." Sam said, as I reached down.

"Tough. After everything I've done for this family, I think I'm entitled." Dean said, with hardly any feeling. "Truth is, I'm tired, Sam. I don't know, it's like there's a light at the end of the tunnel."

"That's Hellfire, Dean." Sam and Kate said at once as I lifted my fingers to my face, blood on them.

Dean shrugged at him. "Whatever. The point is, your alive, I feel good—for the first time in a long time—I got a year to live. I've got a year to live, so what do you say we kill some evil sons of bitches and raise a little Hell? I can't take back what I did, so there's really no point in dwelling on it."

Dean walked away, and Sam started to talk again as I felt Kate's anger rising, none of them paying attention to me. I cringed again at the pain in my abdomen and I knew I had to speak up because this was bad. Something was wrong…something was wrong and I was pretty sure that it was _my_ fault too…what was I going to do?

"You're unbelievable." Sam told Dean.

"Very true." Dean said with a smile.

"Something's wrong with the baby." I said as Dean happily opened the car door.

Everyone turned to me and I showed them the blood on my fingers, tears in my eyes. I bit my lip as Dean came over to me and Kate sidled up close, looking down, fear in both of their eyes. I didn't know what I would do if I lost this baby too…I couldn't deal with another loss like that and I knew it. Without everything going on, I _had _to have this baby…I couldn't live without it.

"What if a miscarried again, Dean?" I asked him sadly, starting to cry. "I'm bleeding when I shouldn't be and I've been having some abdominal pain."

Dean shook his head quickly. "Everything is going to be fine—let's just get you to the hospital."

"Dean!" I said, starting to lose it, making him look at me. "What…if I miscarried again?"

**Note: Well, what a cliffy, eh? I love this story, but I'm biased. You guys still enjoying it? Feedback is always appreciated!**


	53. It Lies in the Rune

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I know the cliffy made all of you freak out.**

**So no long note here, just read.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I didn't realize I could be so scared until Lana showed me the blood on her fingers—I had never thought that a kid could mean so much to me. We'd gotten her directly to the hospital, and we'd been _beyond_ thrilled to hear a heartbeat. The doctor had drawn some blood, and asked Lana a whole bunch of questions, and now it was just Lana and I in the hospital room, me up on the bed with her.

She was resting and the doctors wanted to keep her there for observation and I was _completely_ in agreement with them. Lana needed to give up this _ridiculous_ notion of fighting because it was harming the baby—all of the stress she was under, was harming the baby. I kissed her stomach softly, my head resting on it, and I realized that if this was as close to this kid as I ever got, I was going to be miserable.

Lana ran her fingertips along my scalp again, her fingers already in my hair, her other hand resting on my hand on her side. We really hadn't moved from this position since the doctor and the nurse left with her blood to run tests, and we probably wouldn't move for a while longer. It was all about the baby right now, and we understood that…we weren't even really talking to each other—not about the war, or the door, or the deal…_just_ about the baby.

"I'm sure it's just the stress and everything's fine." Lana told me.

I kissed her stomach again through the hospital gown. "According to the ultrasound the baby is fine…I'm worried about _you_ though. There's only so many reasons for the bleeding and I can't lose either of you, Lanni—not you again, and not this baby."

"You're not going to lose us." She said softly.

She was acting so much differently than she had been acting before when she was freaking out before we arrived. Suddenly she was being calm and she was trying to convince _me_ that everything was all right and that was supposed to be _my_ job. It just seemed like ever since we'd heard the heartbeat, Lana was feeling like everything was fine—that we had the baby, and that was all that mattered.

"How do you know?" I asked her.

She massaged my scalp lovingly. "I just know."

But what if I _did_ lose them? I wasn't an expert on pregnancies or on bleeding in the first trimester, but everything just seemed so ruined. I'd made a deal that was going to kill me and leave Lana with the hole inside of her that I would have if she left me again—that I'd had when she died before and that I'd have if the baby died. How could I have done this to her? How could I have done this and left myself with no way out?

"I have no reason not to trust you, honestly." I admitted softly. "I just…you have to do _everything_ in your power to keep this baby."

Her body moved a little as she nodded in agreement. "I know, Baby."

"That means what _I_ want this time around." I told her, looking up at her.

"I'm willing to do anything to keep this baby, Dean." Lana admitted to me, stroking my cheek. "I promise you that."

I smiled and slid my body up on the bed, kissing her softly and cupping her face with my hand. I loved her _so_ much, and I wished that I hadn't been part of the reason for her stress—wished I hadn't been acting like such a dick. Lana deserved more than this…and our child deserved the chance to be born.

"I love you." Lana whispered to me, pulling me closer to her.

I smiled and rested my forehead on hers. "I love you too."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"_Lanni? Sweetheart?" My mother asked me._

_I stirred on the bed and looked at her, smiling at her and hugging her as she embraced me fondly. She looked like she had something to tell me, but right then all I could think about was how much I just wanted to be near her. Every time it felt like something was crumbling down around me, all I wanted was my mother…and here she was._

"_Sweetheart, I need you to hear me out." She told me softly._

_I pulled back and nodded. "Anything, Mommy."_

"_I know why your body is having problems." She explained to me. "It's not the baby that's in trouble—it's you. Ultimately, yes, the baby could suffer, but I highly doubt that because the moment your dark side feels threatened, she'll resurface."_

"_Wait a minute, Mommy…what do you mean?" I asked her._

_This definitely __**wasn't**__ the pleasant meeting that I had hoped to have with her. This meeting was filled with ominous sounding dialogue, and I wasn't sure exactly what it was that she meant. I knew my dark side wasn't destroyed when my father was killed, but I honestly thought that I was going to be all right. The doctor's had said that the baby was fine…that it was __**me**__ who was having the problem and that with less stress, I'd be in perfect baby-carrying-health…so maybe Mom really __**was**__ onto something._

"_You need to activate the rune, Lanni." Mom explained to me. "You need to understand your heritage, and you need to use more magic. It's the only thing that will keep you completely together and deep down you know that. You came back out of balance…and you need to find your center…activating the rune will help you to do that."_

_I bit my lip and then nodded. "All right, Mommy…I believe you."_

The next day I stayed hauled up in my room sitting in the corner with my head on the wall. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to eat. I remembered all of it—every word of that dream and I remembered the fight that Dean and I had over it. He didn't think that I should blindly trust some figment of my imagination—but I did…I trusted my mother and I _knew _she _wasn't _just a figment of my imagination.

"_Why can't you just take my word on the subject?" I asked Dean angrily._

_He sighed and ran his hand down his face. "Lanni, it was __**just**__ a dream!"_

"_No, it wasn't!" I yelled at him. "How come all of sudden only __**now**__ it's 'just a dream', huh? Dean, we __**both**__ know I have to do this, you're just too stubborn to admit it!"_

"_I don't want anything to happen to you!" Dean exclaimed loudly. "Just stop being selfish, Lanni!"_

_I scoffed—he was __**honestly**__ pulling __**that**__ card on me here? After everything that he had done—after his deal, he honestly thought that telling me that __**I**__ was selfish was going to make this better? He was poorly mistaken, and though I wanted to get upset and remind him of his deal, that was getting to be a tired argument and I didn't want to deal with it. Instead, I was just going to have to do whatever it was that I deemed necessary—I deemed __**this**__ necessary._

"_I'm activating the rune, Dean." I told him firmly, standing my ground._

_Dean nodded slowly. "Fine…if you want to jeopardize our kid's life, that's your call, not mine, it seems."_

"_Low blow, Dean…low blow." I said softly._

"_Yeah, well I feel like it's the only way to get through to you right now." Dean explained, running his hand down his face again, frustrated. "Why do you __**really**__ feel like you have to do this?"_

_I looked at him like he was retarded. "Are you kidding me here, asking me that? Dean! Seriously! I came back unbalanced and I need to figure out how to __**not**__ be that way so that my body stops this! I __**want**__ this baby more than __**anything**__ and I'm starting to wonder __**why**__ honestly! You know what? Don't talk to me anymore."_

Around the afternoon, my door opened slowly, and then closed. I knew by the presence who it was, and I wiped a tear away, pulling my sweater jacket up over my shoulder. He knelt down and looked at me, and I looked down at the floor, not wanting to meet his eyes. I didn't want to fight anymore—I just wanted to move on from all the negativity.

"You have to come out, Lanni." He told me.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, but…I don't want to. This would all have been better if I had just been dead, and stayed that way. I wouldn't have all this guilt, and all this regret, and I wouldn't have to deal with your time counting down and with our baby being in a precarious situation. I'm so afraid of you leaving, and our son being the only thing I'll have left of you. I'm afraid that every time I look at him, he'll look back at me with your eyes—or your nose, or your mouth. I just—I don't feel like I can do it. I need you. I need you to be my future…but you took that away and now there's nothing I can do to get it back and you won't even believe me about my mother."

I tucked hair behind my ear as I cried, and Dean slowly reached out to stroke my hair. He scooted closer to me and I shook my head because I knew he was trying, but this was something we had to talk about and him touching me would make me lose it and there would be no talking. I wanted us to _finally_ just move past this…and before it was far too late and we said anymore terrible things to each other.

"I believe her, and I need _you_ to believe her too, all right?" I asked him. "Just _please_ believe me, Dean."

Dean swallowed. "I understand the guilt, Lanni. It's this sick, twisting feeling in your gut. You feel anxious and scared, and you also feel like you've betrayed people you care about. It's the worst feeling in the world."

"Yeah it is." I choked out, wiping away some tears. "I'm so sorry I can't get past this no matter how hard I try. I just _really _don't want you to die…I'm scared of what my life is going to be without you. I was dead Dean, and I should have stayed dead. You were supposed to die, and your Dad sold his soul for you. I know that's completely different, because you have to live with that, but I had moved on, Dean. I'd left and you guys would have recovered, and now look. Everything's fucked up. I just wanna be dead again. I know you don't understand that, and you prolly can't, but I hate doing this to you, when you have one year to live. I hate that I've _done_ this to you because you _have _to deal with me doing magic and activating the rune. How can I put you through that though? So…we have to be done. I have to do my things and I have to leave you and Sam alone."

"Stand up." Dean said, and I shook my head.

"Just leave my room, Dean." I told him.

Dean sighed, and took me gently by my arms, hauling me up. I looked him in the eye for the first moment since he had come in my room, and then I was surprised when he kissed me. All of my words had just been spilling out of my mouth as I thought them and I knew I didn't really _want_ to leave him—knew that I _couldn't_ when this was _his_ baby too…I just wished none of this was happening and yet I wouldn't trade this moment right here.

"I can't live without you, Lanni—you and Sammy are the only family I've got left—well the baby too when he comes." Dean explained to me, stroking my hair. "I thought about what you said…and I understand why you believe her, and it makes sense. I _hate_ that you have to do this, but I understand."

I nodded slowly. "Thank you…hey…there's something else I've been thinking about, and I don't think you're going to like it much."

"What is it?" Dean asked me slowly.

"I think that you deserve to be able to sleep with other people." I told him after swallowing and I continued when he stared at me like I was insane. "I just—I know that sounds strange, but I feel like since you only have a year to live and you're enjoying flirting so much, that you should be able to _truly _enjoy this year of yours…I don't wanna screw you over as a man."

He chuckled and shook his head. "You don't make sense sometimes, you know that? Take off your shirt."

"What?" I asked him, rather confused.

"Just take off your shirt, Lanni." He repeated firmly. "I'm going to fix us."

I looked at him. "I don't know if I'm in the mood for sex right now, Dean."

"We've talked—we've done a _Hell_ of a lot of talking to be honest. Neither of us feels good, and we both need good sex _with_ talking." Dean explained to me. "You know I'm right—we deserve a really good husband/wife night and the doctor said that you were fine and your body was in great shape. So…can we talk please? Something kinky or something?"

I laughed a little. "I look like crap."

Dean shrugged as I tugged on my limp hair and I looked into his eyes as he smiled a little bit. Honestly, I was madly in love with this man, and he was acting like everything was going to be all right, and I honestly thought that it really would be. My body was out of whack but it wasn't a physical thing—not entirely. This would be good for Dean and I, and I could still practice a few more spells like I'd been doing all day…the spells were making me feel so much stronger…so much better.

"Well, maybe the way you look is seriously turning me on right now." He said softly, stepping closer to me.

I raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Oh, so you like the whole, red, blotchy-eyed, stuffed nose combo? Kinky."

"That's my girl." Dean beamed, easing me back onto the bed.

"We're going to get through this." I told him, leaning up and kissing him softly. "All three of us are going to get through this."

Dean nodded and deepened the kiss before pulling away. "Seems like someone actually _wants_ this."

"I might be a little more in the mood than I thought—but my offer for you to go and flirt is still open." I explained to him.

Dean laughed and rolled his eyes. "Please be quiet, okay?"

"I thought you _wanted_ talking." I replied, smiling at him.

"Not of the kind that has my wife telling me to sleep with other women. What, am I not sexy enough for you anymore?" He asked me.

I smirked and shrugged. "I'll let you know."

"Honestly, Lanni…do you _want_ me to go back to my old ways?" Dean asked seriously, stroking my cheek.

"Of course I don't." I admitted shaking my head. "The idea of you with some woman other than me pisses me the fuck off, but I just thought that it might make _you_ feel better…I just want this year to be everything that _you_ want it to be."

"With you…it is." Dean said nodding.

I smiled at him and whispered that I loved him, kissing him back passionately as he kissed me lovingly. We helped each other out of all of our clothes and when the moment came to become one, all that mattered was making each other feel better and we felt focused and complete. Afterwards I had my head on Dean's chest, our fingers entwined as we laid there under the sheets, stroking each other's skin.

"We're mostly back." I said happily. "You know…except for the feeling like we had to be as careful as possible, just in case."

Dean nodded and kissed my forehead, his breathing changing. "I shouldn't keep having my hands all over you when something could be wrong."

I turned on my side, curled up, and propped myself up on my hand gingerly, because my elbow was on Dean's torso. I took my hand from his and ran my fingers along his chest, the sheets covering me as I laid on his abs. He stroked my hair and I kissed his pecks, wishing I knew _exactly_ what to say…but I didn't.

"Maybe we should talk to my mother about it." I offered slowly.

Dean made a face. "You mean summon her?"

"She knows a _lot_ about this stuff, Dean." I explained to him. "Besides…I feel more put together and I feel stronger when I do magic."

"Fine." Dean told me with a nod. "If it makes you feel better then…then do it, I won't stop you."

I took a deep breath and I nodded, getting up to get dressed and setting up to summon my mother as Dean got dressed. He wasn't one hundred percent on board with my decision, but he seemed to honestly believe that I thought I was doing what was best, and he wasn't going to stop me. All that I wanted was for the baby to make it, and if that meant I had to activate the rune than so be it—besides, Chelsea had killed off the first baby, and the rune held the key to destroying her…I had _so_ many reasons to go through with this.

"You may feel a little disoriented, but you'll be fine." I told him and he nodded, so I said the incantation and smiled when Mom appeared, hugging her and then smiling when she hugged Dean.

She reached out and stroked my hair. "What is it that you need, Sweetheart?"

"I need to understand something—well _we_ do." I explained to her, taking a deep breath. "Activating the rune—figuring out my past and learning how to kill Chelsea…is that my _only_ step to finally becoming balanced?"

"You have a long journey ahead of you, but yes." Mom told me with a nod.

Dean nodded too. "So…if Lanni gets this all done she'll be fine? Her body will stop trying to reject the baby?"

"Well if you put it that way…yes." Mom told him. "When Lana is in control of herself, you won't have to worry about anything anymore…but she'll have to be more mindful of her power."

"I'm scared of my power, Mom." I admitted, swallowing. "What if I can't do this?"

"Sweetheart…you can do anything." Mom said strongly, kissing my forehead. "You have Dean to stand by you through everything…you can do this."

Dean nodded and took a step closer to us. "She's right, Lanni…you always have me."

xxxx

I sucked the whipped cream off of my finger and Dean came over to the countertop. Since talking to Mom and me calling Jen to get more information on what she'd gotten from her rune research, he was more inclined to believe me. He believe that there were things I needed to do, and he was all right with my slight use of magic until Jen deemed everything ready to activate the rune.

"We need actual food." Sam said with a sigh, Kate laughing.

I shrugged and wrapped my legs around Dean, and he smiled, winking at me which made me laugh. There wasn't really any food in the motel—at least not anything that could truly be construed as food. We had some snack items and we had some imitation food, and I had gone straight for the whipped cream on the pie we hadn't eaten yet, Kate eating the last granola bar from her duffle.

"Someone's happy this morning." Dean told me, and kissed me softly.

He had just intended it to be a soft kiss, but I pulled him closer with my legs and kissed him more passionately. He chuckled a little, but welcomed it, and when he pulled away, I got the last of the whipped cream from the pie on my finger and held it up to Dean's lips. Honestly I didn't care that Kate and Sam were right there in the room with us…I felt playful, and I had done a spell or two earlier to locate things, so I was feeling great.

"It's yummy." I told him, Dean's mouth immediately covering my finger, and I grinned. "I really wanna do you right now. I don't care that Sammy and Kate are the room to hear it either. We're kind of sort of, mostly made up, right? Shouldn't more sex come with that, or do I have the wrong idea?"

Dean cocked his head to one side, sucking the whipped cream off and then kissing my finger. "What's up with you?"

I shrugged at his happy tone. "I'm what? Three and a half months pregnant? That means that along with the food cravings, is sex cravings, and come two to three months from now, I might think I'm far too fat to service you. With you having a year to live—I need to get all the sex in I can…plus you look _really_ hot today."

"Riiight…we need real food. What about stamina?" Kate offered, winking at me.

Sam shot her a look and she just grinned at him, which made Sam grin too and he nodded in agreement with her. Actually, real food sounded pretty good, and I was _definitely_ craving come coffee, so maybe heading out to a diner, the four of us, would be a good idea. I nibbled on Dean's neck a little and then shrugged and nodded because the more I thought about it, the hungrier I became for an actual meal.

"Well, no sex today." I told Dean.

I slid off the counter, closing my eyes and smiling as Dean stood there deliberately so my body would rub against him. If I hadn't been do hungry I would have just told Sam and Kate to go by themselves and then Dean and I would have caught up with them later—but I was _incredibly_ hungry. Besides, I kind of wanted to celebrate the fact that I was starting to show, and what better way then going out in public?

"Like that, eh?" Dean asked with a smirk.

I looked at him. "You're a tease, Dean Winchester."

"You keep up that sass mouth, and we'll have a lot of fun tonight, all right?" Dean promised, winking at me.

I nodded and then smirked too. "Deal. Red, Black, or Yellow?"

"Yellow." Dean replied, and winked. "I got Red when we reconciled, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember." I told him, laughing.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Food, guys."

I smiled at him and nodded, all of us hurrying to get ready to go and then heading to the café, Dean running off for moment or two. Kate was sensing a demon and so was I, and I just couldn't pin-point what _exactly_ was going on, but I knew we were definitely close and that was all that mattered. Besides, I kind of gave up on all of it when we got to the café and I ordered some coffee.

"No." Sam told me.

I frowned at him. "But—"

"Sammy said 'no'." Kate replied with a laugh. "So…no."

"Why don't _you_ call Bobby," I told Sam, knowing full well that Kate, Sam and I were trying to get Dean out of his crossroads deal whether he liked it or not, "and _you_ stop siding with your _boyfriend_ over your _cousin_."

Kate rolled her eyes and ordered herself some food, Sam opening up his laptop and calling Bobby, working away diligently. I smiled at Kate as she smiled at Sam, and I knew it from the look in her eyes that she was smitten—she'd already fallen for Sam and I _loved_ that. Even though we weren't all one hundred percent happy, we were definitely there for each other, and it was nice to know we weren't alone.

I smiled as the liquid slipped down my throat. "God I love, this stuff."

"Your caffeine goodness?" Kate asked laughing.

"Yes." I replied with a grin, drinking some more.

"What do you mean it won't work, Bobby? It's a demon dispelling ritual." Sam said, and Dean tapped on the window.

I smiled, and Sam kept talking as Kate pointed to my coffee and I just shrugged—Dean had been waving papers. That meant that Dean _wouldn't_ be paying attention to me right then, and I was totally going to get to have this coffee all to myself with no repercussions. Besides, I had cut back a _lot_ on my caffeine intake, so I should have been being _praised_ not _reprimanded_.

"Well maybe we translated it wrong." Sam told him, trying to rush things since Dean was coming inside. "Look we can't just let Dean fry in hell."

I shook my head. "Nope, we can't—I need him."

"There's gotta be—no. No, no—I gotta go." Sam said as Dean walked over, and I scooted over for Dean as Sam shut things down.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked him.

"Just ordering pizza." Sam said, and I rolled my eyes sipping my coffee.

Dean was silent for a moment. "You do realize you're in a restaurant, right?"

Kate shrugged. "Your wife is having food cravings, remember?"

"Yeah…and I just felt like pizza, okay?" Sam told him.

Sam's face was almost giving it all away, especially when Dean gave him a weird look. Kate just looked at Dean like he was a retard and told him that he should sit down, and Dean nodded a little—he didn't like being told to sit down after he was _called_ a retard, but he was going to let it go. Whether he knew we were _actually_ hiding something or not was a _completely_ different story, but we were letting it go too—he couldn't know what we were all up to.

"Okaaaay—Weirdy McWeirderson." Dean said, sitting down, then took my cup from me.

"Hey! I was drinking that!" I protested my mouth agape.

"Not anymore." Dean replied, sipping it himself.

I pouted at him. "But that's _my_ coffee."

"You're not having anymore, it's mine now." Dean shrugged nonchalantly and when I opened my mouth to protest he just shook his head and cut me off. "No. You're pregnant."

"Yeah, but nothing can touch it!" I retorted.

"So I think I got something." Dean told Sam, and sipped my coffee again as I folded my arms across my chest, pouting more.

"Yeah?" Sam asked, obviously surprised.

Actually the three of us were surprised—after the whole fiasco thinking the baby was miscarried, we didn't expect Dean to actually go _looking_ for a case. He had seemed so set on making me stay out of trouble…in fact Kate and I had thought we'd spend some time in Kansas for a while. I mean neither of us expected Dean to play house or anything, but at the same time…it just seemed like we were going to be slowing down, but apparently not…okay…

"Yeah: man falls on his own power saw." Dean said, and shrugged.

I took the paper from him. "Is there an ex involved, because this sounds to me like some kind of accident…_not_ a hunt."

"No…I think it's a hunt…though yes, an ex _is_ there—but that's a coincidence!" Dean protested when my jaw dropped…was he _serious_? "It was a fling like eight, almost nine years ago. Sam was with Dad wrapping up a banshee thing, and I went to Cicero—I spent most of my time in Lisa Brayden's loft."

"And telling your pregnant wife this is what? A _good_ idea?" I asked him. "Give me back the coffee. I swear to God, Dean Winchester…"

Kate reached over and slapped Dean's arm. "You're a dick!"

"You wanna go hook up with some random chick? When your pregnant wife is sitting right there?" Sam asked him.

I sipped the coffee. "Whatever. I _told_ him to see other people. I mean what's the harm right? He has one year to live. Maybe I should be hooking up with someone else too…except _I_ don't _want_ to."

"Hey! I never said anything about hooking up!" Dean protested shooting me a look like he was upset I would even suggest that.

"You _told_ him to see other people?" Kate asked, completely confused.

I shrugged softly. "At the time, it sounded like a good idea…"

"Look, I just—I think this could be something and since I know her, I want to make sure everything it all right, okay? I mean we don't _have _to." Dean said with a shrug. "There's always other jobs out there."

I sighed and Kate glared at him as Sam assessed his behaviour—was he _guilting _us or something? We couldn't figure out what his body language meant, and I took a deep breath and then I just sighed and rolled my eyes. He could go—but on one condition and if he didn't agree to it, then we were picking a different hunt, and that was that.

"Okay here's the deal—I'm going with you." I told him with a shrug. "I'm going with you and if you're _perfect _then I give up coffee cold turkey for the rest of the pregnancy. You know…the caffeinated kind. You can't make me give it _all_ up—that wouldn't be humane."

Sam started laughing until he noted the sincerity in my voice, which made Kate laugh harder because _she_ understood. She and I _both _had the same feelings about coffee, and after getting some more food, Dean dropped Kate and Sam off at the Cicero Pines motel, and then he looked at me. I glanced at him and smiled a little, him nodding and then trying my hardest not to be nervous—I mean what if Lisa was prettier than me? Wittier? More charming?

"Stop it." Dean told me as we drove, smiling.

I made a face. "Stop what?"

"I love you—stop doubting it." Dean replied.

"I _know_ you love me, I just…I dunno…" I said, not wanting to bring it up.

Dean sighed loudly and then parked the car on the side of the road, looking at me and resting his hand on my stomach. I smiled at his hand and then put my hands on his, looking up at him, our gazes meeting. He ran his thumb along my stomach and gave me a look, me knowing that he was about to get kind of speechy on me.

"You're my wife, and you're carrying my baby, and this is strictly business related, I swear." Dean told me.

I nodded and rolled my eyes. "Just drive to Lisa's."

Dean nodded and we headed there, me getting out slowly and Dean holding his hand out for me. I sensed lots of people and I was starting to feel like this meeting was going to be really awkward and I didn't know why I was suddenly here. He didn't _need_ supervision because I honestly _did_ trust him to keep it in his pants…I just…maybe I should be waiting in the car instead of going with him.

"What now?" Dean asked me as I stopped on the sidewalk.

I looked at him. "Isn't it awkward to come and offer condolences and concern to a woman in the guy's neighborhood that's your ex-tryst with your pregnant wife?"

"You're thinking about it too much—come on." Dean replied, tugging on my hand.

I just nodded and swallowed, following him up the walk and watching as he knocked on the door, making a surprised face when a beautiful brunette opened up the door. From the looks exchanged between him and the way she recognized Dean right off the bat I knew she was Lisa—and _damn_ she was attractive! I just smiled awkwardly and gave a little wave when Dean introduced me as his wife and then told her we were just worried because of the death and everything.

Lisa was rather sweet and she invited us in, only to explain to us that it was her son's birthday—her son that had just turned eight. He actually acted like Dean too and I started to feel even _more_ awkward: what if this kid was Dean's? I mean Dean could potentially already have a son, so why in the world would he want another one? I knew that was just me over-reacting, but it did run across my mind and I just ate a forkful of cake and looked around, noticing that a lot of the neighborhood women were looking at Dean—whoo for his damn reputation.

"So, it's your birthday." Dean told Ben.

Ben nodded, focused on the moon bounce. "Guilty."

"It's a cool party." Dean said with a nod.

"Dude, it's so freakin' sweet. And this moon bounce…it's epic!" Ben exclaimed and I smiled a little—he was a really cute kid.

"Yeah," Dean nodded in agreement, "it's pretty awesome."

"You know who else thinks they're awesome? Chicks. It's like hot-chick city out there." He told Dean, tapping his arm before putting his plate down and heading for the moon bounce, me heading for the house to get away from all of the people. "Look out, ladies, here comes trouble."

It was just kind of over-whelming—showing up in this neighborhood, Dean potentially being a father, all the awkward vibes (this really felt like a hunt to me) and all the women knowing Dean by reputation. Being here just felt kind of strange to me, but at the same time, it was nice to know that Dean wasn't showing one moment of straying. I shook my head and I went into the kitchen, walking into a conversation that I knew I probably shouldn't be hearing, but it was helping with my theory that there really _was_ something going on here.

"So how are you holding up?" Lisa asked her friend.

The woman nodded. "Fine."

"Really?" Lisa asked her.

"Oh, you know. I just…never mind." She replied, shaking her head.

Lisa shook hers too. "What?"

"It's just…I'm worried about Katie." She said, looking out at her daughter, who did seem to be acting a little weird. "I think there might be something wrong with her."

"Of course there is. The poor girl just lost her dad—she's devastated." Lisa explained to her.

I nodded and looked over at Katie as her mother explained that that wasn't what she meant—she thought that something was _really_ wrong with her. In fact, Katie's mother didn't think that Katie was really Katie, and though Lisa was confused about it, things were starting to click with me. Lisa just told Katie's mother that she needed to make sure her daughter didn't think that something was up with her, but Katie's mother didn't want to hear anymore—she headed out to get Katie to tell her that they were leaving, and Lisa looked over at me.

"How far along are you?" Lisa asked me kindly.

I looked over at her. "What?"

"Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed you just…you were running your fingers along your stomach and resting it there like I used to." Lisa said, blushing a little. "Sorry."

"No, no—it's fine. I'm 13 weeks along now." I explained to her with a smile.

She smiled too. "Well, congratulations."

I thanked her and then looked up as Dean walked in, looking at Lisa and then looking out at Ben. He wanted to know as badly as I did if Ben was his son or not, and Lisa nodded at him as he smiled at her. It seemed to me like she felt more awkward around Dean than she felt around me, which was nice to know she liked me, but it also made me think that Ben was Dean's…and honestly? I was starting to think that I could totally handle that.

"Hey." Dean told her. "So, I, uh, met Ben. Cool kid."

I glanced over at Ben using his charms on one of his girl friends. "He's really cute."

"Yeah." Lisa said with a smile.

"Yeah." Dean repeated and then nodded slowly. "I couldn't help but notice that, uh, he's turning 8," but Lisa didn't seem to get the allusion, "you and me…you know."

Lisa gave him a look. "You're not trying to ask me if he's _yours_?"

"No. No, of course not." Dean told her, smiling it off and then getting serious suddenly. "He's not, is he?"

"What?" Lisa asked him rather surprised. "No."

"Right…yeah…" Dean replied, looking out at Ben again. "Something wrong with your friend?"

I nodded at him. "Katie's mother is the one whose husband died, Dean."

"Yeah, she's been through a lot." Lisa explained to us. "Guess there's been a lot of bad luck in the neighborhood lately."

"What kind of bad luck?" Dean asked her suddenly.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

I had a lot to tell Sam, and I smiled at him a little as he worked away on his laptop. It was all plugged in and everything, and I wanted so desperately to just spill everything, but that took some tact. This rune thing had to be done and we needed Jen to do it, and we needed someone else—we needed more magic. Every time Jen found out something about the rune, it just raised another question, which made Kevin make her research it some more. He was _very _protective of his family, and Lana and I wouldn't have it any other way because if one of us deserved a happy ending, it was _definitely _Jennifer.

I took a deep breath. "Okay…there's something I need to tell you."

"What?" Sam asked me, looking up.

"You know how Lana was talking about she needed to activate the rune and everything?" I asked him and he nodded. "Well I need to help with that in order to get through this, we uh…there's a family member you haven't met yet—well there are several, but _that's _beside the point."

He nodded slowly. "Really?"

"And don't get your hopes us—you're not her type." I told him.

He just laughed and rolled his eyes, getting up and coming over to me, kissing me to shut me up. I wasn't finished, but I was so far from being able to resist Sam Winchester, it was ridiculous, so I just let this happen. In fact I even let him maneuver us over to one of the beds, lying back on it and smiling when he climbed on top of me and ran his lips along my jaw, kissing my neck softly.

"Anyway," I told him, smiling as he nipped at my collar bone, his fingers running along my sides, chuckling since I was still talking and he was _obviously_ trying to initiate something, "she's been around for the past little while. She's been waiting for the right moment to show herself, I'm sure—she likes her entrances."

"Why?" Sam asked me, kissing my sternum. "The rest of your family was quite charming."

"Oh so is Kristin. She's just _Jen's_ family—hence why you're not her type." I told him with a small laugh, giggling when he bit my collarbone softly in retaliation at my joking. "There's more to it, Sammy. You know how Jen, Lana and I have this whole, witch thing? Well everyone in the Meckenzie family is half and half: half demon, half something else…well technically. The vampire thing is hard to explain and not important at the moment, but now Lana's more demon and without Annie…well the whole spell was kind of ruined until Jen found out more about the rune."

Sam nodded and pulled back to look me in the eye, smiling softly when I stroked his hair. "So what's up with Kristin? Why are you warning me about her?"

"Kristin is," I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, "the _dark _kind of witch—like sell your soul to the devil, kill things and maim and destroy kind of witch. I mean obviously she has a soft spot because she's Jen's older half-sister, and you're _not _allowed to kill her, but I just…if Dean found out he'd say 'no' to this _whole _plan because come on…how would he feel if Lana was dealing with dark forces?"

Sam sighed and stroked my cheek, kissing my lips softly. "Kate, _I'm _worried about _you _having to deal with dark forces."

"Dark magic kind of runs through the families, actually." I admitted to him, leaning up and kissing him softly. "Every female Meckenzie has at one point or another done dark magic—in fact we're kind of all filled with dark magic. Then there's Jen's family—they're the ones filled with the light magic…it's why they formed their little coven centuries ago: it made us pretty neutral."

Sam nodded and kissed me softly, running his hands down my sides and pushing my shirt up a little. He made eye contact with me and kissed my stomach and I was starting to feel a little nervous to be honest—this would be the first time we slept together. I didn't want it to be in some motel after we were talking about family and runes…how was _that_ special? It really wasn't special like this and my first time with Sam Winchester had to be special.

"We should…go back to the diner and have some lunch." I told him.

He looked at me and cocked his head to one side in the most adorable confused fashion and I blushed. I didn't want him to think that I didn't want to, so I'd come clean because that wasn't hard for me. Sitting up I kissed him, glad that his mouth was so responsive to me, his fingers slipping into my hair with no problems at all and I smiled a little, pulling back and looking him in the eye.

"When we take this relationship to the next level, I want it to be special, Sammy." I explained to him, kissing him swiftly. "Not in some motel room in the middle of a potential hunt."

He smiled at me and nodded. "Let's go."

I beamed because he agreed with me, and the two of us got up and headed to the diner, ordering some burgers and fries, working on the laptop. It was hard to find Dean a way out of his deal, but for Lana, Sam and I would do _anything _—and Dean was Sam's brother: we just had to figure out how to make this work out for _everyone_. To top it off, I was feeling a little strange—it wasn't Kristin, but it was the blonde from before and I made a face as she sat next to me at the table, across from Sam.

"Bitch is back." I said aloud.

"Who is?" Sam asked, looking at the laptop screen.

The blonde smiled at him. "Hey, Sam."

"You know, I wish demonic people were like vampires—had to be invited to be able to come in." I told her.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Still wouldn't work in a restaurant now would it? It's an inviting public place."

"You've been following me since Lincoln." Sam told her.

"Nothing gets by you." She said, and took a fry, eating it as I made a fist and resisted punching her in the face. "Mmm. This is fantastic. It's like deep fried crack. Try some."

I shook my head. "She knows what deep fried crack tastes like Sam—don't take candy from strangers."

She looked at me and I gave her a look, smiling fakely at her and wishing that she would just get to the damn point and leave. This was _really_ annoying me, and I had no idea what to do about it. It wasn't like I could just pick a fight with her in the middle of a restaurant—no matter how much I wanted to, and no matter how obviously I would kick her ass with ease.

Sam leaned in as we all sat there in silence for a moment. "That knife of yours…you can kill demons with it?"

"Sure comes in handy when I have to swoop in and kill a damsel in distress." She said, looking at him, and then at me.

I scoffed at her. "I am no damsel, and I was _not_ in distress for the record."

"No, you're just not as good as me." She told me, my jaw dropping.

"Where'd you get the knife?" Sam asked her, trying to change the subject.

"Not telling you." She said, and took my coffee cup off of its saucer, took the saucer and poured ketchup on it, dipping the fry in it.

I made a face at her. "Do you _want_ to get fucking _killed_?"

Sam held back a laugh because he knew I was serious, and he knew that her just waltzing in and making herself at home was pissing me off. The girl had style, and she had spunk, and she was crazy gorgeous, but who the _Hell_ did she think that she was? I looked at Sam and he sent me a reassuring look, then he looked at the blonde and smiled.

Sam sighed loudly. "Why are you following me?"

"Because you're tall." She told him, dipping the fry in it again. "I love a tall mine."

"Back off Blondie, he's mine." I told her, reaching for the coffee. "I can take you—don't think that I can't."

"Why don't you let Sammy off his leash to come out and play with the big dogs?" She asked me.

I glared at her. "I'll let him out when I feel like letting him out."

"Can we get down to the important stuff please?" Sam asked exasperatedly.

"There's this whole Antichrist thing." She told him.

"Excuse me?" Sam asked as I glared at her some more.

"You know? Generation of psychic kids, the demon rounds you all up and a celebrity death match ensues? You're the sole survivor." She told him, and sipped from his cup through the straw.

"Eww, crack germs." I muttered, smiling as she sent a look my way and I sipped the coffee.

If there was one thing about her that annoyed the crap out of me, it was that she and I had so much in common. We were both sassy, we were both powerful, and we were both good at laying it all out there when we wanted, but also keeping things to ourselves and joking when we felt like it. She was getting on my nerves and if she hit on Sam _one more time_, I was going to take her out.

"How do you know about that?" Sam asked her.

"I'm a good hunter." She replied as I said, "She said deep fried crack earlier…oh, that…sorry."

"Yellow-Eyes had some pretty big plans for you, Sam." She said, leaning back into her part of the booth.

"'Had' being the key word." Sam told her.

She nodded slowly. "Right. 'Ding-Dong the Demon's dead'. Good job with that. Doesn't change the fact that you're special. In that 'Michael Anthony Holly visions' kind of way."

"Nope. That hasn't happened anymore. Not since Yellow-Eyes died." Sam told her.

"Well I'm thinking you're still a pretty big deal." She told him, and Sam scoffed while I held back another comment to drink more coffee. "I mean after all that business with your Mom."

"What about her?" I asked her suddenly.

"You know…what happened with all of her friends?" She asked us.

I looked at Sam, thinking maybe he and Dean had been hiding something from me, but his face was confused. He really didn't know what this girl was talking about, and I had a feeling that she was telling the truth—I could just tell. I wasn't the only one with doubts regarding my parents, and though that was nice to know, I was really upset that this random girl knew more than Sam did.

"You don't know…" She said, a grin forming. "You've got a little bit of catching up to do my little 'friend…s'. So…why don't you look into what happened to her pals, and give me a call and we'll talk again."

I watched as she took Sam's hand, and then wrote her number down, which fueled my jealous feelings. I held back the urge to say something rude, as Sam looked at the number and the girl stood up to leave, and then turned around. We both looked at each other and I knew she hadn't said the last of what she had wanted to say just yet.

"You do know there's a job in this town, right?" She asked us.

"Duh." I told her, and she walked away as Sam's phone rang. "If its Dean, tell him to make Lana call me, okay?"

Sam nodded at me. "Hello? There is?"

"Tell him to have Lana call me! She's _supposed _to be checking in!" I told him loudly.

"What about these _five freak accidents_?" Sam asked, stressing to me that this was business related. "Dean…wait…what? Wow…how's Lana taking it?"

"How's Lana taking _what_?" I asked him.

He gave me a look to let him talk to his brother and then after telling him to make Lana call me, he looked at me and he sighed. Then he set to explaining to me that Dean thought he might have a son with Lisa and I nodded slowly and took a deep breath. What was going on with Lana? How was she taking it? I really felt like I needed to talk to my cousin and make her feel better.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I had gone into Lisa's bathroom because I was feeling some morning sickness which was annoying me. The morning sickness was supposed to be over by now, wasn't it? I was 13 weeks along and I'd be able to tell the sex most definitely in 7 more weeks—I was only a few weeks from my second trimester…morning sickness? I made a face as I came out of the bathroom and Dean smiled at me, making an 'you okay' face, placing his hand on my stomach and kissing my forehead.

"I want a toothbrush." I told him.

He nodded at me. "We can head back to the motel then."

"Thank you." I said, shaking my head when he went to kiss me. "Not after morning sickness hit."

He rolled his eyes and stole a kiss from me, the two of us heading back to the motel as Sam and Kate headed out to investigate. Dean was going to go too, but he wanted to make sure I was all right. I really was, and I told him to get out, smiling when he kissed my stomach as I brushed my teeth. Once I was brushed and rinsed my mouth out, Dean kissed me lovingly and then headed on out and Jen called me.

"Hey, Jenny." I told her with a smile.

"Hey, Lan." Jen replied, and I could tell right then and there that this conversation was _not_ going to be a happy one.

"What's up?" I asked, the smile now gone.

Jen sighed at me. "We need to do something—and we need to do it the way we did it before."

"Well that was cryptic." I told her. "Can you hold on?"

"Yeah." Jen said in a breath.

I went to the bathroom and sat down in front of the toilet, spitting up a little, but not really barfing. It was really annoying, but I was going to have to deal with it because it just meant that I was pregnant—and _that_ made me _very_ happy. Jen chuckled a little and I rolled my eyes, but I smiled because we both knew that I was happy even though I was feeling gross and sick.

"You still having morning sickness?" Jen asked me.

I nodded at her. "Yeah, my body is just all excited for me—we need to activate this rune soon."

"That's actually why I called." Jen told me. "It has to be activated come this next full moon….and we may have to find Victoria—I'm still researching that. There's this vampire named Chase, and he's after the rune because Chelsea, though not dead, is MIA. So I called Kristin, but she's lurking, and I just…I don't know."

"If we can get Victoria to help us, it'll come at a price, and you know it. On top of that…do we need to resurrect Annie and Kalli?" I asked her.

"I will let you know…we probably do. We need more power, and I wish I had more people from my side but…they wouldn't help us with this." Jen explained with a sigh. "I just…I don't want Minah and Kaydence to have to be in the throws of a vampire like Chase, all right?"

I nodded quickly. "I understand, Jenny. Kate and I can let the boys have this case, and we'll be there soon. I love you, Jenny. Bye, Jenny."

"Bye, Lan." Jen answered me.

I hung up, and brushed my teeth again, then started packing because I needed to be ready when Sam and Kate got back. Then I got on the laptop and tried to find signs of where Victoria might be, then sighed—I should have been working on the case. I looked up as I heard the door, smiling at Kate and Sam as they came in.

"Changlings." Kate told me. "The mother's have bite marks on the base of their necks, and they kind of have this creepy, unphasing stare. So…are you leaving?"

"_We _are." I told her. "Jen needs us to activate the rune this weekend and you know what that means."

Kate nodded at me. "Yeah, I know—packing my duffle as we speak."

"You can guys can do this on your own, right?" I asked Sam.

He just nodded at me and watched as Kate packed and I looked up some more things on my laptop. Dean was still out, and Sam sat down next to me, placing his hand on my small pregnant bulge, smiling a little at me. Sam was really excited that he was about to become an uncle, and I knew Kate was happy to know we all got along. I thought that mine and Sam's past would be awkward, but no—we were all above it and I smiled when Dean came in.

"There's something wrong with the kids in this town." Dean announced, taking off his jacket.

Sam nodded at him. "Tell me about it."

"Where are _you_ going?" Dean asked me.

"To see Jen." I said taking a deep breath. "She needs help to activate the rune this weekend during the full moon, and I'm going to miss you, but you and Sam can do this on your own. It's changlings—Kate is so awesome at hunting, isn't she? What would we do without her?"

Dean kissed me as I took the sides of his jacket lovingly. "But I'm missing Yellow."

"After the hunt come find me, okay?" I asked him.

"All right, Baby." Dean said, stroking my hair. "Don't do anything dangerous, or I will hurt you."

I smiled and promised, kissing him one last time only longer, then grabbing my duffle and Kate and I headed out. We took a cab and then a plane and got to Jen's, hurrying into her house when she ushered us in and we stood there. She looked like she had something important to say to us and so Kate and I dropped our duffles on the couch and looked at her softly.

"I think I may have found her." Jen told us.

I smiled at her. "Hello to you too, Jenny."

Jen laughed and we both smiled at each other, embracing happily. Then Jen and Kate hugged each other tightly and exchanged 'hellos' and then Jen rested her hand on my stomach and smiled at me. I smiled back and nodded, happy because I was starting to feel the baby move even though no one else could yet.

"How's the baby?" Jen asked me.

I shrugged and smiled. "Fine—making Mommy feel nauseous every once in a while, but he's good."

"Welcome to motherhood, Lan." Jen said with a smile. "I feel safe saying it too, cause this baby's protected."

"Yeah." I told her and then I sighed. "So…Victoria, eh?"

Jen took a deep breath. "Unless Kristin wants to show her face."

I shook my head. "Kristin's got too much hardcore dark magic in her and you know that, Jenny. Victoria's at least got a bit of white magic shining through, you know? Kristin will be needed to contain the rune's powers though—especially if the rune isn't a neutral item…is it a neutral item?"

"I'm assuming its evil, but we need it to figure out our powers." Jen explained with a shrug. "It's a key."

"Then we have to find Victoria." Kate told us. "And I know just how to do that."

Jen nodded at her and the three of us left the girls with Paige since Kevin was at work, heading to this run-down motel. I cringed a bit and shifted, Kate letting us know that we were both right here: Victoria was here. We looked around and then Victoria showed up out of nowhere and smiled at us, nodding slowly.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here." Victoria said with a grin.

I sighed loudly. "Well hello to you too. We're here to ask for a favor, so don't like try and kill us or anything."

"What kind of favor did you have in mind?" Victoria asked me.

"We need our family members resurrected." Came a familiar voice.

Jen turned around and smiled a bit. "Took you long enough to get here Kristin."

**Note: Well THAT chapter was emotionally charged, huh? A lot happened, and it looks like Dean is being a little better at communicating, huh? And who's Kristin? What is she doing here? Feedback is always appreciated!**


	54. It's Called 'Trust', Baby

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Lana and Dean get a little hot and heavy in this one, so be warned.**

**It also has drama, but a fair share of fluffy moments and some insight into Lana and her High School Days with Jen, Kristin and Lance.**

**=D**

**Also, I already edited the last chapter, but I realized I jumped the gun on how far along Lana is at the moment.**

**So as of this chapter she is actually about 14 weeks along right now…so almost 4 months but not quite—sorry.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Kristin showing up had made Victoria tell us she'd think about it, and then she'd up and disappeared. We all went back to Jen's house, and Kristin made us coffee, me smiling and then sighing when Jen smacked my hand and set to make me a pot of decaf. Decaf tasted like it had arsenic in it and when I said that Jen told me to stop being a drama queen, but Kristin laughed loudly and smiled at us.

"I kinda miss the normal life—you know cause I'm out sacrificing virgins and eating the hearts of lambs." Kristin joked with a wink.

I smiled at her. "You haven't really changed, have you?"

"Not all that much, no. I still do dark magic whenever I can—but I'm not evil, Lan." Kristin said with a shrug. "I'm not the way we used to be."

"But you're still practicing what we're not practicing anymore." Jen told her. "Oh by the way—you have two nieces, lil sis."

I smiled as Kristin got excited about being an aunt. "What if they change their minds and take their permission back?"

"You mean the hubby and the wannabe hubby?" Kristin asked me.

"Hey! Dean _is _my hubby, and Kate has Sammy." I explained to her.

Kristin let out a whistle and turned to Kate who rolled her eyes and then nodded excitedly. We were all happy that everyone had something somewhat normal to come back to, and Kristin seemed a little in want of it. She was a nomad, and she liked her space, but at the same time she was also one of those people that really wanted to have a life that _didn't _involve all of the death.

"So…how's the demon baby?" Kristin asked me.

I gasped at her. "_Not _a demon baby!"

"All right, all right, enough—what brings _you _back, Kris?" Jen asked her sister.

"I missed my baby sister." Kristin said with a shrug. "What's so wrong with that?"

Jen shrugged and smiled as she shook her head. "Nothing's wrong with it—I just don't believe in coincidences when we seriously need you to contain the evil that'll come from that rune when we activate it."

"For trying to stay away from dark magic, you sure keep crawling on back to it." Kristin laughed at her.

"Well it's not like it's not a rush or anything." I told her. "But come on—the rune helps you out too, seeing as you're a full fledged witch. So you gonna help us contain it when it's activated, or not?"

"I'll help." Kristin nodded drinking her coffee. "I'll even help you guys get Victoria to help resurrect the girls. We all know _I_ can't do it—because they'll be even more demon than you resurrected if I help with all my dark magic."

"Thanks, Kristin." I said, laughing a little. "So…promise me you won't tell the boys about the resurrection of the girls, okay? Kate and I have to figure out how to tell them without pissing them off too much."

Kristin looked at me, then to Jen, and then back to me before sighing. "You know part of the greatness of the dark side, is that they're mostly straightforward about the bad things they're gonna do, and you always know what you're dreading." She said, and then nodded. "I promise I won't tell them. Jesus."

"Yay!" I cried, and then was going to take a sip of Kristin's coffee, but she smacked my hand. "You're the second person to do that to me!"

Kristin shrugged and drank her coffee. "You got _yourself_ pregnant. It's not _my_ fault you can't have caffeine. How far along are you anyways?"

"A little over three months." I said with a smile. "I'm really excited too—it's the most pregnant I've been ever."

Kristin smiled at me and then she rolled her eyes and placed her hand on my stomach, smiling at me. She wasn't really the most affectionate of people, but she was going to be a pseudo aunt and I was glad that she cared about me enough to be happy that _I_ was happy. Actually what made me the happiest was how happy _Dean_ was, but at the same time, Dean and I didn't discuss anything other than the baby these days.

"Well you can't just ignore it all and keep sleeping away the moments that should be spent discussing." Kristin told me. "And by sleeping away, I mean this excess of sex you and Dean have been having—don't ask. I can tell by the look on your face."

I sighed loudly. "It's just that sex is one of the strongest things I have to communicate to Dean with. I know that sounds terrible. We _do_ have truly meaningful conversations, but he has one year to live—well less now—and every time something goes truly wrong, sex just seems to make it better."

"At least you have meaningful conversations." Kristin told me as everyone paused.

I bit my lip. "Am I doing the right thing here? Having this baby?"

"You should be having that conversation with your husband. But for what it's worth—yes you are." Jen said, resting her hand on my hand on the counter.

"Even if you've been told that your son's going to be evil, and lead, you have the ability to change that future." Kristin said with a shrug. "So if that's what you're worrying about, stop it. I'd threaten to sacrifice you, but you're obviously not a virgin."

I smiled at her. "I _totally_ miss you and your sacrificing virgins talk."

"I just—being around you guys is _so_ nice, to be quite honest." Kristin admitted laughing. "I've been out of that loop for far too long. So shall we seek out Victoria?"

"Yeah." Jen said nodding. "We need to get this done."

xxxx

"_So what were you doing today, Lan?" Jen asked, sitting down at the table during their Sophomore Year._

_Lana shrugged at her. "Not a whole lot—Lance and I have been pretty much inseparable."_

_Kristin laughed and sat down. "Yeah, sounds like normal. So…you guys up to sneaking around tonight with the spell book?"_

"_Kris, Mom will freak out if she finds us with the spell book again." Jen told her._

_Kristin rolled her eyes. "We'll do it at Lana's."_

_Lana looked up and shrugged. She knew that if Bethany and Marcus found them doing dark magic, there would be Hell to pay, but the idea of not doing dark magic wasn't a good one. The three and Lance had been a bit hooked on it, and so they'd been trying to do it as much as possible—it was a rush that they liked. Besides, it was one of those things that they were trying to better themselves at—their mothers __**had**__ after all been in a coven, and their children just wanted to be as good at magic as they were._

"_We just gotta keep it in the basement." Lana said with a shrug._

_Kristin grinned excitedly. "Excellent!"_

_Jen nodded, and then Lance sat down and looked directly at Lana. She smiled at him and leaned over to kiss him, Kristin complaining about public displays of affection, and Jen just smiling at them. Jen thought Lana and Lance were cute, and the two of them had waited long enough to become a couple. Now they were together, and they knew everything about each other—it was perfect._

"_What's so excellent?" Lance asked when he pulled back, smiling at Lana fondly._

_Lana smiled back and shrugged. "Dark magic, my house, 10 o'clock."_

_Lance beamed and nodded. "Count me in."_

I sighed when I woke up that morning, running my fingers through my hair. Ever since Kristin got back, I'd been thinking about dark magic and how hooked we had all been in High School. Why wasn't Jen hooked since my resurrection? We'd all had such a serious problem back in day…except for Kristin. Kristin had it under control because she was _used_ to dark magic, but Jen, Lance and I had to cut ourselves off—our white magic parts couldn't handle it.

"Can't sleep?" Jen asked me.

I looked up as she walked into my room, and I shrugged. "I guess not. I just keep thinking about the 'Dark Magic Days'."

"Me too." Jen said, nodding. "I love my little sister, but oh my God—I don't think I can do it. It was hard enough bringing _you_ back…the only thing that's keeping me away is the girls."

"We can't resurrect everyone." I said softly, closing my eyes and taking a breath.

Jen sighed loudly. "Yes we can. We _have_ to. I can get over it—I have Paige to help me though it."

"You have me too." I replied with a smile.

Jen shook her head. "You have to spend time with your husband. You can be there for me after he dies, just as I'll be there for you."

"Blunt but true." I told her as she got under the covers with me.

We leaned our heads against each others, and looked up at the ceiling. It was nice to just lie there with her, and we wrapped our arms around each other, both of us smiling and happy. We were both silent for a long while before my cell phone rang and I groaned a little but then nodded because I knew who it could potentially be. I reached over and looked at the cover: Dean.

"Who is it?" Jen asked softly.

"Dean." I told her.

Jen nodded and smile. "Answer it."

I flipped the phone open. "Hey, Baby."

"Hey yourself." He said and then chuckled a little. "Wanna know how it all went down?"

I took a deep breath. "Yeah. What happened?"

"Turns out there was this like, mother Changeling or whatever. Basically she had the other Changelings feed on people. Sam and I took them out, and I found out that Ben isn't mine—Lisa had a blood test done when he was a baby." Dean explained to me.

"I'm sorry, honey." I told him, biting my lip. "I know how much you liked him."

"At first, honestly, I was kind of disappointed—this kid was definitely a kid I'd be proud to father. Then I thought about it—_our_ son will be perfect. He'll be yours, and he'll be mine. With you as his mother, I could never be more proud of anyone." Dean told me.

I smiled at him. "I wish you were here right now so I could show you how happy you just made me."

"I'll drive faster." Dean joked and I nodded, making a face at the beep that signaled there was a call on the other line.

"Call me when you get here?" I asked him.

"Of course." Dean said. "I love you."

To be honest, I was more than happy Dean was taking the initiative on the 'I love yous' this last little bit. It made me feel really good inside and I was pretty happy that he was going to be with me soon. Waking up without Dean was hard, and I didn't want to make a habit of it. I wanted him to be here right now, but he wasn't—he was just on his way and that was just something I had to accept for now.

"I love you too." I told him. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." He replied, and we hung up.

"Mind if I sleep in here?" Jen asked me softly.

I shook my head and smiled at. "I don't mind in the slightest."

xxxx

"_So how are you doing anyways?" Came a familiar voice._

_I turned around and pointed the gun at my Dad—my Dad, the Yellow-eyed Demon. "Why the Hell do you care?"_

"_Your son is going to be special, Lana." He explained to me. "I didn't think that having you and Annie was a good idea at first, but I decided to give you both the benefit of the doubt. Annie was even psychic. But you? You were the weak link. You were shaped too…'good'. Then you were brought back to life…you were brought back to life more demon."_

"_What are you saying?" I asked him._

_He smiled at me. "I'm saying that you being brought back to life is one of the best things that could have happened to one of my children."_

_I frowned and lowered the gun. "You're a Dad. How can you be such an ass?"_

"_It's in my nature. Just as it's in Dean's nature to forget how everyone around him feels if it helps him out." He said, giving me a look._

_I sat down and set the gun on the table, looking at him and swallowing, not having the words to spit back at him. Dad sat down next to me, and I sighed, knowing that I had to just let him talk because I didn't know what else to do. He had said it to get a rise out of me, but I knew he'd back himself up too…knew he had a reason._

"_Why did he make that deal?" I asked my father when he just looked at me. "I mean I know he wanted to save Sam, but he knew I was pregnant. He knew he was going to be a Dad. How could he do that to his son, when he grew up without a mother, and with a father that hunted most of the time? How could he put that on his son's shoulders __**knowing**__ how crappy his __**own**__ childhood was?"_

"_Dean wants things in his life to go the way he wants them to go, Lana. He wasn't thinking about his kid, or about you. He just wanted Sam alive. Doesn't that make you feel better? You're his second thought." He told me._

_I looked at him. "Sam's his family."_

"_You're his wife…doesn't that make you his family too?" He asked me._

_I looked down at the ground. "Sam is Dean's brother. They've been through a lot more than Dean and I have and I thought about doing the same thing for Annie but I was pregnant…and I wanted my baby to grow up with a mother. Dean couldn't live without Sam gone, and his empty feeling and his remorse, took him to a really crappy place. He wasn't thinking, but I think that I finally understand what happened with him."_

"_You sure he just doesn't care?" Dad asked me._

_I nodded at him. "Yeah…I think it's about time Dean and I had a little talk."_

When I woke up this time, I looked up at the ceiling. Was it just a dream? It _had _to be because my father was dead…he just couldn't come back to life to come to me in a dream. It had felt real…my subconscious obviously had to talk to me about my hidden feelings by using my Dad as a front man. I had to talk to Dean…I had to make him talk about making the deal…it wasn't going to be easy.

"Lan? Paige made breakfast." Jen told me, sticking her head in the door.

I nodded, and got up and got dressed, laughing a little because Paige and Jen had come over to _my _house, and they were making _me_ breakfast. I went downstairs to the breakfast table, and sat down to a big plate of pancakes, and decaffeinated coffee, looking at Kate as she shrugged a little. She had expected either her or I to cook, but having the other girls here too, made me feel a lot better, and then Kristin walked into the room and sat in front of a plate of hot pancakes.

"I had a dream with Dad in it." I said aloud.

Kristin looked at me. "You mean Yellow-Eyes?"

I looked at her. "You know?"

"Oh come on—I knew before you did." Kristin replied, and shrugged, eating her pancake.

"Yeah…I was the last to know." I said bitterly with a sigh.

Paige looked over. "Actually, I was, but eh."

"I have to go to a wedding today." Ryan whined, setting his book bag down and sitting down next to me.

I smiled up at him—pow-wow at my house apparently, but I was glad for the company, honestly. Besides, I was really excited to hear about this wedding of his and I kind of wondered if Lance would show up. Seemed like everyone just felt like they could just waltz right into my house and I was happy to have them.

I looked at him. "Really? I _love_ weddings."

"All fancy, and the music and the dancing." Ryan said, digging into a pancake.

"And the love, and the vows." I added happily. "You don't by any chance need a date to this thing—you know? In a just friends kind of way since I'm married?"

I ignored the others looking at me, and Ryan looked at me after a pause. He was thinking about it and I knew that adding in the 'since I'm married' piece was making him rethink the situation. Still, part of him wanted to have company, and I wanted to get out of the house. I wanted to get my mind off of how I resented that Dean didn't think about me and the baby _before_ he made the deal…just _after_.

"What about Dean?" Ryan asked me seriously. "Won't he be upset?"

"It's just a wedding—Dean will be fine with it. Please? Please?" I asked him, starting to beg and whine as Ryan considered it again. "Please, please, please? I wanna go so bad."

"Okay." Ryan said laughing and I let out a pleased noise and ate a piece of pancake happily. "You'll have be ready in a couple hours, and I'll pick you up."

I nodded at him. "Absolutely."

Ryan smiled one last time, and then when breakfast was over, he went to go and get ready, and I went up to my room. I looked through my closet for a fancy dress, and then I looked up as Kristin, Jen and Paige came into my room. It was almost like an intervention and I sighed because I _knew_ what was coming, and I _knew_ I couldn't escape it.

"You really think this is a good idea?" Paige asked me.

"Why wouldn't it be? I need something happy after everything that's happened—after the dream I had last night." I told them.

Jen sighed loudly and rolled her eyes. "What happened in your dream? And what about bringing Victoria fully on board?"

I looked at her. "Paige and Kristin can help you find where she is. You let me know, I'll help persuade her. After all—she used to be Annie's best friend, right? I bet I could get her to do it."

"Just be careful, all right? I can tell you're in an emotional place right now." Jen told me.

Kristin nodded at me. "And you kind of look like you're going to explode with emotion. It's kind of gross."

I looked at her and we both smiled and then I looked at them all in turn. "I won't do anything I'm going to regret."

They all nodded, Jen the slowest, and then they left me to change. I put on a red sleeveless dress, and some red strappy shoes, and then I pulled my hair over to one side and pinned it, curled a bit too. I smiled, and then went to the door when the doorbell rang and Ryan smiled. It was a wedding and I wanted to look my best, and he hadn't told me what I should or shouldn't wear but since he was in a tux…I was _definitely_ dressed well.

"Wow…you look…you look beautiful." He told me.

I shrugged and smiled. "Thank you. You look pretty handsome yourself."

Ryan smiled and then we got into the car, and we went to the wedding. Turns out his best friend was getting married, so I teased him a bit about being so upset about having to attend the wedding. I hung out a bit, not really talking to anyone, but at the same time I met a few of Ryan's good buddies, and they flirted a bit, but one look at the ring on my finger, and they all kind of backed off a little bit.

Ever since I'd gotten there, I'd thought about Dean. The ceremony was beautiful, and the couple looked so in love. Dean's and my wedding had been fairly simple, but still beautiful. The priest kept it all pretty short, and we didn't write any vows, but it was the best day of my life—best moment of my life. I wanted to go back to that time to when we were more playful…when we were happier—his deal was breaking me.

"Are you okay?" Ryan asked, standing next to me and I knew I didn't want to bring his day down, so I smiled a little and walked in front of him, turned to face him, and held out my hands.

"Dance with me?" I asked him.

Ryan nodded, and I led him out onto the dance floor, even though no one was really around. I snuggled close to him, and he ran his hands along my arms, and my dream started running through my head. I looked up at him and he looked me in the eye and I suddenly felt like I'd just made a _terrible_ mistake—what was I _doing_ here?

"There's just a lot of stuff going on with me." I told him, since his eyes were searching mine for answers.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Ryan asked me.

I shook my head. "No…I just…I feel like things are falling apart."

He nodded at me and then he leaned down and he kissed me and it took me a moment to figure out what was going on. I'd just told him that things were falling apart and he _knew_ I was married, but he was _kissing_ me? I pushed on him and he looked surprised by what he had done, me thanking him for inviting me and then heading back to my house to change into normal clothes.

I couldn't _believe_ that had just happened and all I had done was push him off and take off. I should have slapped him or something, shouldn't I have? Groaning, I changed into jeans and a three-quarter-length button-up, brushing my hair and then checking my cell phone. I had it off during the ceremony and I had one voicemail and two missed calls—all from Dean. I was about to call him back, when I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye and looked up, Dean standing there. I went over to hug him, but he held his hand up and I stopped because he looked fairly angry and hurt.

"So when were you going to tell me that you were cheating?" Dean asked me.

I raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh like you have no idea you were kissing Ryan." Dean scoffed, shooting me a look.

I closed my eyes. "Dean, it isn't what it probably looked like from wherever you were standing."

"He _kissed_ you!" Dean exclaimed. "He kissed you and you just let it happen! What else do you want me to think?"

"Yeah it was definitely _not _what it looked like because you took off before I pushed him off!" I yelled at him. "Do you honestly think that _I _of _all _people would cheat on _you_?"

"You cheated with Sam, and this time what I've done is a _lot _worse!" Dean retorted and my jaw dropped.

I knew that he immediately wanted to take it back, but the words hurt just the same and shook his head and closed his eyes. I closed my mouth and nodded at him, appalled that he thought I'd ever do that to him again, but I had hurt him like that before and he clearly thought about it sometimes. He didn't think I was most definitely his…but I was.

"I wouldn't do that to you." I told him softly, knowing my voice was breaking a little.

Dean came over to me and shook his head. "Baby, I'm sorry—I know you wouldn't, I just…I didn't like seeing some guy who wasn't me kissing my wife. I was so pissed I left and I should have stayed to watch you push him away, and then got a punch in."

"Classy." I told him, smiling a little and then it fading. "We have to start being more honest with each other, all right? We can't just go around having a lot of sex, and not talking about the important things. There's an actual future to consider. It may not be yours because you gave yours away, but it _is_ your son's."

I looked up into his eyes and he opened his arms up, me falling into his warm and comforting embrace. He stroked my hair, and in that moment I realized that I'd caught him in a moment where he would open up to me and that was all that I needed. I was sure that if I just got _one _more answer out of him, I wouldn't be holding on to anything that would give me that kind of dream again. I was sure that if we could just talk things out, we'd be fine…things could go back to being good…they could go back to being great.

"I love you." I whispered, turning my head to his chest and kissing it. "I love you so much."

I kissed his chest again, and then kissed up to his neck, nibbling a little, and then kissing his jaw line. He ran his fingertips along my scalp and smiled a little, but then he kind of tensed up and I made a face at him. Why was he stopping this? This was something he was normally _incredibly_ responsive to and I wished I knew why he was being all cold all of a sudden and shut off to the idea.

"I dunno if I'm really turned on by this when you kissed another man a couple hours ago." Dean said and I smiled a little and nodded.

I unbuttoned a couple buttons and pulled the shirt away from my sternum, smiling at him playfully. He glanced down and I knew he cut the top of the cup of my bra and I bit my lip, smiling as his eyes looked at my lips. Dean was right where I wanted him even though he was protesting, and I knew he wouldn't be protesting for very much longer.

"Not turned on at all?" I asked, cocking my head to one side.

Dean smiled a little. "What about us not being able to just have sex?"

I unbuttoned the rest of the buttons slowly, Dean watching each button slip out of the button hole. Then I slid my shirt off, and then kissed him, pulling him with me as I sat on the bed and then laid down, Dean crawling on top of me like it was natural. He kissed me back as I deepened the kiss, and let me turn us over so that I was on top.

"Can I do this?" I asked softly, nibbling on his bottom lip.

Dean moaned slightly. "Sure you can."

I smiled, and then put his hands up above his head, him smirking at me as I staked my claim on getting to control this. I shifted my weight, and sat on his lower abs, as I lifted his shirt up a bit and stopped, him sitting up so I could pull his shirt off. I tossed it onto the bedroom floor and then kissed him softly, him lying back down. He chuckled a little as I grazed my teeth along his jaw, then I kissed him up to his earlobe, biting it softly and feeling him practically become putty in my hand.

"Turned on at all yet?" I asked, nibbling down his bare chest to his abs now.

Dean moaned again. "Just a little."

I smiled, and nibbled back up, kissing him a little more intensely. I didn't want to be a tease, but at the same time, I just didn't want to sleep with him before we'd talked. Maybe with me on top, he'd talk since I was in a better position to make demands like this. I ran my hands up his arms, and took his hands, our fingers interlacing, looking him in the eye and he cocked his head to one side.

"Why'd you stop?" He asked me.

I kissed him swiftly. "We need to talk."

"That doesn't sound good." He told me playfully.

"About your deal." I said right as he was saying 'good'.

Dean's muscles tensed. "Do we have to, Lanni?"

We looked each other in the eye for a couple more moments before I ran my nose along his softly. I'd asked myself the same question, but after my dream I knew that if we _didn't_ talk, then this resentment I had was just going to fester. I _had_ to know what was going through his mind when he made the deal and honestly, that was just that.

"Yes." I whispered to him.

Dean's gaze seemed to soften a little, and he took the initiative to run his nose along mine, kissing me softly, his whole body relaxing underneath me. I leaned against him more, and returned the kiss, glad to know that he was being physically _and_ emotionally responsive to me right then. Then when our lips parted he nodded, and I nodded too, both of aware the deal was sealed, and it was time to talk.

"What part of it do you want to talk about?" He asked me.

I took a deep breath. "I think I finally understand why you did it."

I ran my thumbs along his hands, and as I leaned back a bit to sit up, Dean's body followed mine, and there we sat in just our jeans. We only dropped hands because Dean ran his left hand through my hair, and I placed my hands on his sides as I sat on his lap. He ran the fingers of his right hand along my bra strap lazily, and the entire time our gaze was locked and it was nice.

"I had a dream with my father in it." I told him, deciding to just let it all out of me.

"Yellow-Eyes?" Dean asked me.

I nodded and shrugged softly. "Yeah…he told me that you want things in your life to go the way you want them to—and sure, everyone does. It's just that I've been hiding these feelings of anger towards you. I want you to be in your son's life. Potty train him, give him the sex talk, be there for him to come to with advice about girls—it was just _so_ much to deal with knowing you made the deal even though I was pregnant and you had a baby on the way. At first I was so hurt because you didn't seem to care that you were leaving me behind, but I get it now: Sam's your family. He's your little brother and you'd do _anything_ for him. You have had _so much_ loss in your life, and you couldn't live with it all anymore—you had to bring him back. You had to have Sam alive, because he was all you had left. You were in so much pain and inner turmoil, that you weren't thinking, and you know what? I honestly don't blame you for that. Annie was my responsibility just as much as Sam is yours. I would do anything to keep her outliving me, because she's my younger sibling—she's got so much more to live for. I forgive you. I forgive you for making the deal, even though you're going to leave me. You're a wonderful brother—don't let anyone else tell you any differently, okay?"

Dean wiped away a fallen tear off his cheek. "You're my family too. I am _so_ sorry I did this to you—you have no idea how _guilty _I feel about it. I mean I'm leaving you to raise a kid all on your own when I've always wanted my kids to have _two _parents, you know? I mean I never really ever thought seriously about having kids, but that was my plan if it ever happened. Then you happened…you happened, and I realized that if I was going to have a life with anyone, it would be spunky, hard-headed, beautiful, _you_. I thought about my deal, and I thought about what it would do to you, but I figured I could make something of myself while Sam was _alive_…that I could make it up to you…but I _can't_ do that…and I'm _sorry_, Lanni."

I kissed him, and he pulled my body closer to his, both of us wanting to be as close as possible now that it was all finally out of the way. We were at an understanding—we were both coping with this and we were looking towards the future we _did_ have together. This was just another part of our life, and we were going to get through it _together_. I pulled away and smiled at him, stroking his hair, and he rested his forehead against mine.

"Its moments like this I wonder why we're not making love." Dean whispered to me.

I laughed, and smacked his arm playfully. "Way to ruin a romantic moment."

He kissed me swiftly. "Come on…let's make love."

He kissed me again in successive kisses, and then laid back on the bed, pulling me with him. He turned us over, and looked me in the eye and I smiled a little, egging him on. He took my challenge with a smirk, and in one fluid moment, unzipped my pants. He slid them off of me and then removed his own, and nibbled on my sternum and it took all I had not to show him exactly _how_ responsive my body was to him. Then again, why _not_ show him? He deserved it after the talk we'd just had.

"I dunno if I'm really turned on by your sudden lack of romance." I told him.

He took that moment to rub his body against mine hard and slow, and I couldn't keep the moan in. Then he slipped his fingers right to their mark, pushing in and smirking at my responsive hips, moving myself up against his hand because I was eager. Honestly this man was a _lot_ better at turning me one than I had thought—he knew my body almost better than I did, it seemed like.

"Turned on at all yet?" He whispered to me.

"Just a little." I managed, my eyes glazing over with lust.

We both laughed and then I closed my eyes and bit my lip as he pushed in just a little farther, me running my hand down his bare torso. He knew where my hand was going and he let out a soft sound of consent as I slid my hand into his boxers, wrapping my hand around his member and tugging it in every way he liked. Dean moved against my hand and yet kept his fingers dipping and stroking, hooking in his own pleasure which sent me over the edge.

He kissed me and we removed the rest of the obstacles, Dean pressing his body as intimately close to mine as he could without pushing himself inside of me yet. It wasn't just the two of us having sex to keep from fighting, or us using sex as the mask for us having a meaningful conversation. For the first time in a while, we were actually making love because we were not only in love, but because we were at the same mutual understanding…and for the first time in a long time, the sex actually meant something beautiful as he finally initiated the act, both of us moving at the same rhythm, keeping each other as close as we could.

xxxx

I put the bite of pie into my mouth and laughed a little as Dean kept talking.

"And the very first thing I thought of was: 'I should really kick this guy's ass. He knows he's kissing a married woman, and he's doing it anyway'." Dean said, eating a bite of pie himself.

After going a couple times, I'd grabbed my robe and gone down to grab the pie out of the fridge, and brought it up to the room. Then I'd shed the robe and gotten back into bed, and we'd been eating and talking since then. It was just one other thing that Dean and I seemed to be able to do without thinking twice about it—and I was happy about that.

I smiled at him. "You know, I pulled out of the kiss because for the record it didn't feel right—he just isn't _you_, and you should have more faith in me."

"I know." Dean admitted with a nod.

"I mean at least I _think_ it was because he wasn't you…" I told him.

I was joking and he knew it, but at the same time he was making that face as I smiled at him and laughed. The look on his face was one of the cutest that I'd ever seen, and I honestly couldn't stop smiling at him—God didn't even know how much I _loved _this man. Dean pointed his fork at me, a huge piece of unchewed pie still in his mouth as he spoke…hot.

"Don't test me." He told me.

I moaned a little. "You are _so_ sexy when you talk with food in your mouth. Most women would find that rude, but it's totally a turn on for me."

"I'll remember that next time I want to take you to the bedroom and I'm eating." Dean said smirking.

"Your romance needs work though." I said, smiling and eating another bite.

Dean swallowed his pie. "You want romance?"

"It's nice every once in a while." I said with a small shrug. "I mean the things you said before were romantic it's just—we never go out for romantic dinners or anything."

Dean closed the lid on the box of pie, and set it on the nightstand, taking my spoon from me and setting it on the box with his fork. Then he got up as I gave him a 'give me my pie back look', and went into the bathroom. He stood there by the doorframe and gave me a look and I shrugged at him and gave him a 'what' look.

"You going to follow or not?" He asked me with a sigh as he rolled his eyes.

I got up, grabbing my robe and pulling it around me, going into the bathroom as Dean turned the water on, and I cocked my head to one side. What in the world was he doing? He was honestly acting a little weird, but at the same time it was a nice change of pace and I was glad to see this side of him.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

Dean grabbed a lighter from one of the drawers under the sink, and a few candles. "You wanted romance."

I smiled and laughed lightly. "You're something else, you know?"

Dean shrugged as he smirked. "Oh, I know."

I smiled, and then the doorbell rang. "I'll get it." I told him.

Dean shook his head and blew out the match as he lit the first candle. "Absolutely not—finish lighting these and get in that tub."

I bit my lip and grinned. "Yes, sir."

Dean hurried into the bedroom and got dressed, and I finished lighting the candles, setting them strategically and then sliding my robe off, slipping into the tub, and smiling at the warmth. I submerged myself, and then when I came up and ran my hands over my head, I opened my eyes and Dean came into the bathroom and sighed at me. If he came to tell me this was going to get postponed…

"I really hate your family." Dean told me.

"They can wait." I said with a shrug.

Dean walked over to the tub and sat on the side. "Jen said it was important, and she wanted you to get to her house soon."

"Oh." I nodded slowly.

I knew it was probably all about Victoria, but Dean was trying to be romantic, and with all the honesty and the sweet words, I wanted to show him I appreciated him—and not through words. I was jonesing for my husband—blame the hormones. This was just time that Dean and I could use for _ourselves_, and I _didn't_ want it to go to waste.

"I have a secret." I whispered, and wiggled my finger at him.

Dean leaned in, and I wrapped my arms around his waist, and pulled on him. He moved his legs to brace himself, coming into the tub with me fully clothed. It was almost like he _knew_ what was coming next from the look in his eye, but he just kept playing along with me and I was pleased with that. This was _our_ time, and my family was just going to have to wait for now.

Dean smiled at me. "And what is this secret?"

I kissed him, and he returned it, letting me take his shirt off. "I _love_ when you're romantic."

"What if Jen really needs you?" Dean asked softly.

I unsnapped his jeans. "Its moments like this I wonder why we're not making love."

Dean smirked, and slid his pants off, boxers and all. "Way to ruin a romantic moment."

"Come on…naked wife in a tub, here." I protested, leaning in so our noses were almost touching.

"You make a good argument." Dean said, a grin appearing.

I laughed a little and then kissed Dean back when he pressed his lips to mine, both of us shifting so I was sitting on his lap, everything escalating beautifully to the breaking points we each needed it to reach. Everything finally felt like it was pieced back together, but at the same time as we were getting dressed, another question came to mind. I took a deep breath as I buttoned up my shirt, Dean fastening his pants.

"Are you scared?" I asked him, both of us mostly clothed now.

"What of?" Dean asked, reaching for shoes.

I ran my fingers through my hair, fluffing it a little. "Dying?"

Dean looked up at me. "Nah."

He put on a smile, but I saw right through it and it hurt me that he was, but he wouldn't admit it. I didn't even get mad about him not being honest—who wants to talk about dying? So I put on a brave smile and nodded because it was all I could physically manage right about then.

"Well, to be honest—_I'm_ scared of you dying." I told him.

Dean sighed, and stood up after finishing tying his shoes and I just shrugged softly because it was true—I was terrified of what it meant to be without him. He came over to me and kissed me softly, cupping my face and pouring more of himself into the kiss than he had in a while before he pulled away.

"Let's cross that bridge when we come to it, okay?" Dean asked me, stroking my hair.

"Yeah," I told him nodding, "I guess I'm good with that."

"Now go see Jen. I'll be here when you get back—I promise." He said softly.

He kissed me again, only this time I gripped his shirt and pulled him closer because I really wanted him to know that I wanted to be with him. He returned the kiss, pressing me up against the wall with a sudden movement, and I smiled a little, giggling when his body pressed against mine. I pulled away and smoothed down his shirt, looking back up at him and smirking a little bit.

"If Jen didn't need me, we'd be following through with more pregnant hormones." I told him, nodding as he chuckled.

Dean nodded, and pressed himself against me a little harder, which made part of me cave, and part of me tense a little since I had to go. I sent him a 'Hey, I need to go now' look, and then I felt his hand on my inner thigh. If he hadn't just looked so cute, this wouldn't have been hard for me…I wouldn't have parted my legs to give him easier access.

"You're already caving." He told me matter-a-factly.

I blushed and bit my lip. "I didn't mean to part my legs—really…I have to get to Jen's."

Dean leaned in, only to tease me with his hot breath on my face like he knew I enjoyed. Right as I closed my eyes to cave, he pulled away and went to the dresser, leaving me to compose myself. Honestly I didn't _want_ to go to Jen's anymore…I wanted to stay with Dean and let him do anything to me he wanted to do.

"Well, you better get to Jen's." He told me.

I sent him a look but nodded. "Yeah, I should. I'll be back later—I promise. I love you."

Dean smiled at me. "I love you too."

I smiled and then I grabbed my bag and left the bedroom, heading outside. I walked down the street to Jen's house, and was about to knock on the door when Kristin opened it. She had this look on her face like she was thoroughly annoyed and I really couldn't blame her—I hadn't come when they had called, but come on, better late than never, right?

"Took you long enough!" Kristin told me. "It's been like three hours since Jen went over looking for you and got sent away. Dean said he'd send you over in ten minutes. Did you show up? No."

I shrugged and gave her an 'I'm sorry look' before she let me in. "For the record it was less than three hours ago."

"Is that Lan?" Jen asked from the kitchen.

"Yeah! Sorry, but I had to please the hubby! The wedding went down worse than I'd planned, but I made it up to my husband several times, so we should be good!" I called in there.

"Great…so _all_ of this wait was so Dean can get in his sexual favors." I heard Victoria say as I neared the kitchen.

I looked at her as I went in. "More like his wife got in _her_ sexual favors. So…when are we gonna resurrect everyone?"

"Yeah, so here's where I lay down my terms." Victoria explained with nod.

I sighed loudly and nodded too. "Great. What are your terms Victoria?"

"You leave me alone after all of this." She said shrugging.

"Well duh." Kristin said rolling her eyes. "We're not mean enough to kill you after you give us what we want. Is that all? No demands?"

"Don't encourage her, Kris." Jen told her.

Kristin shrugged and grabbed a few crackers from the bowl on the island counter, and I looked at Victoria. Actually Kristin had a point—Victoria was letting us off _way_ too easy and I wanted to know why. There was something else going on here…there was something that she _wasn't_ telling us.

"But seriously…is that all? We're not going to take you out." I promised her, giving Jen a look when Jen smacked me for encouraging her.

Victoria looked at us and then looked directly at me. "I want to raise your son."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud—it was just way too funny to hear her actually tell me she wouldn't help unless she could raise my son. That was hilarious. However, my laughter stopped when I saw the serious look on her face, Kristin rolling up her sleeves, and Jen looking appalled. Wait a minute…she was _serious_?

"Absolutely not." I told her firmly, pointing to the door. "Get out."

Victoria grinned. "I was joking—I want you to promise that for an entire month, you won't harm any demons."

xxxx

"Am I looking a bit fat to you now these days?" I asked Dean.

Dean sighed at me. "There's no proper way to answer that question."

"You're beautifully pregnant." Sam told me, flipping through a book.

"_That's_ the right answer to the question." I pointed out to Dean, pointing at Sam as Kate rolled her eyes at us. "But really…am I looking bigger to you?"

"Honey, you look like you always do." Dean said with a smile. "Now come to bed, and lay down with me…please."

I looked at myself in the mirror again, turning sideways. "You sure, Dean?"

"You'd know better than me if you're gaining baby weight. If you really think you're gaining it now, then you are." Dean told me, and I knew he was getting just a little bit frustrated with me.

I poked my head out of the bathroom. "But you look at me when I'm naked. You _have_ to know better than me."

"Don't you _want_ to be showing?" Dean asked, looking at me.

I shrugged, and then smiled. "Part of me does. I've only started to show once, and that was in my _old_ body and it was so light it was just me looking a little bloated. I'm in a new body, and I want to show off baby fat. The other part of me though…wants to stay beautiful and skinny forever."

"The beautiful part will stay." Dean told me, smiling at me. "The skinny part? Not when you're finally in the second trimester—then you're going to start gaining the weight like crazy."

I sighed, and put my shirt down, turning off the light in the bathroom and going over to Dean's motel bed, sighing and then snuggling into Dean once I got under the covers. Kate was already in the other bed, waiting for Sam, who was doing whatever he was doing in the other part of the motel room. Honestly I felt like the two of them were being a little weird after the last minor hunt, but they'd tell us eventually.

"Hypothetical time." I said, looking at Dean.

Dean nodded at me as he held me close. "Okay…go ahead."

"What if I resurrected Annie and Kalli? And I am _really_ asking this hypothetically, because I really haven't resurrected them." I told him.

"I'd be against it." Dean told me. "Why?"

I nodded slowly. "Because Jen, Kate and I need to activate the rune, and we can't trust demons, you know? So we need Annie back to do it…we're low on our 'magic funds' as it were. The problem though, is that if Jen, Kate and I _did_ decide to do it, we'd have to do it in the next week, because otherwise Annie and Kalli will come back with no memories, you know? It was hard enough for me to adjust, so what about them? This is gonna suck. They'll only be able to put names to faces at first. Besides…we were off and the full moon isn't until after the allotted time to bring the girls back."

"Why do it if they'll be so impaired?" Dean asked me. "Why do you need the rune?"

I took a breath. "Because we need answers to our witch sides…we _need_ to know what power the rune holds that's so important to the vampire hordes and the demons…we need to know about our _own_ heritage, Dean."

"I really don't want you to resurrect anyone." Dean groaned. "Annie is psychic as well as half demon. She'll come back more demon and what will that say about her psychic part? I mean she went crazy. Then there's Kalli—she'll _also_ come back more demon. Come on, Lanni…_think_ about that."

I nodded and ran my fingers along his t-shirt. "Fine…I'll tell Jen your opinion since Kate can hear you."

"Yes I can." Kate said with a laugh. "Good thing I'm not interested in sleeping until my warmth comes to bed."

I smiled at her and she smiled back, Sam chuckling and shaking his head as he flipped through his book. He looked up to make eye contact with Kate, letting her know I was sure just through the eye contact that he would be there soon. They were too cute, and I was glad the four of us were traveling together—it was just pleasant.

"You might do it anyway?" Dean asked me softly.

I nodded again. "I might do it anyway."

"Should you be doing borderline dark magic while you're pregnant with a baby that could swing to either side of the force?" Dean asked seriously after a pause.

"I don't know how it would affect our son." I answered truthfully. "I have no way of knowing for sure either."

"Then my two cents are this: 'I don't think it's a good idea, so please don't do it'. I'd like a normal, demon-hunting son, okay?" Dean told me.

I nodded at him. "I understand that."

"But it's going in one ear and out the other?" Dean asked, raising any eyebrow seriously.

I kissed him and nuzzled his nose with mine, and smiling when he moved so that he could press our lips together. He was a little upset with me for actually thinking about doing this, but he knew I needed to. Honestly, it was nice that he understood, even though he didn't like it…there was a _lot_ of that going around with us.

"Goodnight you two." Sam said softly, and turned off the light between the beds.

I heard him snuggle into his covers, and kiss Kate, and then I kissed Dean again, and he stroked my hair. He kissed my head and he held me close to him, me smiling at him and running my fingers along his t-shirt some more. We were going to be just fine—I was certain of it. All that mattered right now was just understanding, and having good communication between the two of us.

"I won't love you any less if you resurrect them, but I need you to be careful, all right?" Dean asked me. "I don't know if I can handle another scare where the baby is concerned honestly, Lanni."

"I know." I replied with a nod. "Don't worry though—it was a hypothetical situation. I've just—I miss my little sister, Dean. You did what you had to do for Sammy, and I feel like I have to do what I have to do for Annie. It's my father's fault that Sammy, Kalli and Annie died in the first place, so I feel like they need to _all_ be alive, you know?"

"I know, Lanni. Just…sometimes you have to let things go. Now don't get uptight about it, I'm not saying Sammy got to be brought back, and Annie shouldn't be. I'm just…I'm trying to…" Dean tried, but he trailed off and shrugged.

"I know." I told him, nodding. "I get it."

I kissed him one last time before turning over in his arms, my back to his chest. He resituated as well and held me tightly, his hand on my stomach, and I smiled and closed my eyes. We heard Kate tell Sam 'goodnight', and I smiled a little more at the love in the motel room that night…it was just peaceful.

**Note: I wrote a **_**lot **_**of fluffy moments, huh? The next chapter is pretty comedic too, so I'm giving you a **_**slight **_**break from the angst, but don't expect **_**that **_**to last **_**too **_**long, because I write angst best, I think. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	55. Bad Luck For Everyone

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay, this chapter is in Lana's POV AND Kate's POV again.**

**I hope you enjoy it!**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

We slept peacefully and had a wonderful morning and afternoon together, but when we were getting ready to get out on the road, Sam seemed really flustered. It didn't help that Kate didn't look too happy about things either, and I was kind of making a face at it all. What was going on with them and what weren't they telling us?

"Hey, what's up, Sammy?" I asked him, rubbing his back.

Sam sighed loudly. "Kate and I will tell you and Dean together."

"Okay." I said nodding.

I wrapped my arms around him, and he reluctantly hugged me back, which was making me feel kind of sad. But when I squeezed him, he held on a little tighter and nuzzled me with his nose in my neck. He was my Sammy, and he knew that, and I just wanted him to know that no matter what was going on, he could _still_ talk to me.

"I love you, all right? Even though I can tell you're hiding something really big." I said, and kissed his forehead.

"I know." He said nodding. "I love you too, Lan."

I nodded and grabbed my things, all of us getting into the car and getting ready to move on. It was pretty dark, and I turned on my laptop as Sam sighed and Kate ran her fingers through her red lock nervously. Honestly, I wanted one of them to spill, and surprisingly, it was Sam who opened his mouth to speak first.

"So, I saw her again." Sam said suddenly.

"Who?" Dean asked him.

"Ruby." Sam explained slowly. "The girl that saved Lan, Kate and I back when we fought the Seven Deadly sins…she came to Kate and I."

I looked up. "Okay…and what about her?"

"She's a demon." Sam said softly.

"I dunno why I didn't sense that." I told him. "Prolly my hormones. I've been off on a lot of stuff lately—Kate…how come you never told me she was a _demon_ and not just _demonic_?"

"What do you mean, she _is_ a demon?" Dean asked as Kate replied, "I wanted proof first."

Dean and I were both feeling pretty out of the loop and then I snapped in realization of what Sam had said that had Dean's attention—_is_ a demon. That meant that Ruby had shown Kate and Sam her true colors, and that the two of them had left her alive. All that sensing she was demonic…Ruby was a demon, and for some reason Sam and Kate had let her live, and they were worried how Dean would take it—not well.

Sam sighed loudly. "I didn't kill her."

"Why not?" Dean asked, getting angry.

"Because she had useful things to say." Sam answered his brother.

"Like what?" I asked him.

"You think I should have just wasted her?" Sam asked Dean, getting a little angry about the situation himself. "Why?"

"Because she's a demon, that's why!" Dean exclaimed quickly. "I mean, the second you find out this Ruby chick is a demon, you go for the holy water! You don't chat!"

Sam sighed and shook his head. "No one was chatting, Dean."

"Oh, yeah? Then why didn't you send her ass back to hell?" Dean asked him.

"Dean, please stop being so harsh about this." Kate told him. "Sammy does what he thinks is best, just like the rest of us."

I reached over and smacked Dean in the arm when he told Kate that _she_ should have done something about Ruby. Honestly if Sam and Kate thought that Ruby should have been left alive, then I didn't see the point of arguing with them any further. Obviously there was a good reason for everything that they had done, and if there were two people I trusted more than anyone, it was Kate and Sam.

"I didn't do it Dean, because…because she said she might be able to help us out." Sam replied with a shrug.

Dean looked at him. "How? No, really, Sam? How? How could she possibly help us?"

"She told me she could help you, okay? Help you out of the crossroads deal." Sam replied, and I could tell he'd just caved.

"Well in that case, she's my new best friend." I said from the backseat, letting it all sink in, but Dean wasn't convinced at all—he seemed unhappy.

"What's wrong with you, huh? She's lying. You got to know that, don't you? She knows what your weakness is. It's me. What else did she say?" Dean asked him.

Sam didn't answer, and I could tell that Sam and Kate were hiding something but they weren't talking. Dean was staring back and forth between them like it was going to help to get them to speak, but I knew that it wasn't going to. Kate was stubborn, and Sam wanted Dean to stay alive so bad, that he was only going to tell Dean what he felt like Dean could handle, and I understood that.

"Dude?" Dean insisted harshly.

"Nothing." Sam told him finally. "Nothing, okay? Look, I'm not an idiot, Dean. I'm not talking about trusting her! I'm talking about using her! I mean, we're at war, right? And we don't know jack about the enemy. We don't know where they are. We don't know what they're doing. I mean, hell, we don't even know what they want. Now, this Ruby girl knows more than we will ever find out on our own. Now, yes, it's a risk. I know that. But we need to take it."

"I agree with Sammy." I told Dean. "Besides, if _Kate_ of all people is going to trust a demon, then so be it, I trust her judgment."

Dean made a face at what I had said and I smiled at Kate as she squeezed my hand. She was glad that I was on her side and I knew there was no other side that I'd want to be on. Besides, if Ruby really _could_ get Dean out of his deal, then I _wanted_ her on our side…I _wanted_ her to be around to help me to save my husband.

Dean looked at Sam again. "You're okay, right? I mean you're feeling okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine! Why are you always asking me that?" Sam stopped though when a phone rang. "It's not mine."

Dean checked his. "Nope."

"It's not mine either." I said as Kate said, "My phone doesn't have that ringtone."

"Check the glove compartment." Dean told Sam, his face changing. "It's Dad's."

"Dad's?" Sam asked him.

Dean nodded at him. "Yes. I keep it charged in case any of his old contacts call."

Sam got into the glove compartment and picked up the phone while I listened intently, and researched the resurrecting spell at the same time—there was a lot of dark magic involved for two people being brought back to life. Kate glanced over my shoulder at it and squeezed my hand a little harder, knowing how worried I was about this. There was no way I was going to get through this without _something_ going wrong…and what about the unborn baby in my stomach? How was _he_ going to take this?

"Hello?" Sam answered. "Yes, this is Edgar Casey." Sam said, and looked at Dean, none of us feeling that name had any significance to us. "No, no, no, no. Don't…don't call the police. I'll handle this myself. Thanks. You know, can you just, uh, can you just lock it back up for me? Great. Uh, I, uh…I don't have my—my book in front of me." I hand him a pen as Dean handed him a pad of paper. "Do you…do you have the address so I can...sure. Okay. Go ahead. Right. Thanks a lot."

"So…what was that about?" I asked absent-mindedly, still researching my own demons.

Sam looked at Dean. "Did Dad ever tell you he kept a container at a storage place?"

"What?" Dean asked him.

"Outside of Buffalo." Sam said with a nod.

"No way." Dean told him.

Sam nodded. "Yeah…and someone just broke into it."

"Well that's just terrific!" I exclaimed, but I was talking about the spell.

"Your mind is somewhere else." Sam said, shifting in his seat.

I looked up. "Oh, I just had a pain in my stomach. Just a little nausea."

Sam saw that I was lying, but when he saw the look in my eyes as I looked directly at him, we both knew we would talk later. So we all kept driving in silence, until we got to the storage place, and I had to beg my way into it because neither Dean _nor_ Kate wanted me in there. Sam didn't either but he always caved to me first because he grew weary of arguing with me, but Dean caved, and then we went into a lift type thing.

"Man." Dean said with a slight smile.

"What?" Sam asked him.

Dean shrugged, still smiling a little bit. "Just Dad…you know…him and his secrets. We spent all this time with this guy, and it's like we barely even know the man."

"Well, we're about to learn something." Sam told him.

Kate smiled and nodded. "Who knows—maybe it'll be fun."

I smiled and nodded in agreement as the four of us got out of the lift and opened the door to the storage container. We turned our flashlights on, and then we ran them over the room before stepping in, making sure it was safe. There were a lot of old objects and some artifacts, as well as a pentagram drawn on the floor and Kate and I were impressed—John knew his stuff better than we'd thought.

"No demons allowed." Sam said, pointing out the symbol.

"Blood." Dean added, running his flashlight over the traces of it on the floor. "Check this out."

He ran his flashlight over a wire, connected to a weapon and I nodded—this place was well booby-trapped. John had to have some pretty valuable things in here for _this_ kind of precaution, and I took a breath. Dean looked at me and I bit my lips before I ran my flashlight over a few more things and actually spoke.

"Whoever broke in here got attacked, and they're probably sporting a rather disgustingly bloody wound—that's a _lot_ of blood." I told them.

Dean smiled a little as he stepped over the wire. "Dear old Dad. I got two sets of boot tracks. It looks like it was a two-man job, and our friend with the buckshot in him…it looks like he kept walking."

"So, what's the deal?" Sam asked, he, Kate and I following after Dean. "Dad would do work here or something?"

"Living the high life, as usual." Dean said, and then picked up a trophy, as I wandered around with my flashlight. "1995."

Sam looked over. "No way! That's my division championship soccer trophy. I can't believe he kept this."

"It was probably the closest you ever came to being a boy." Dean said with a smirk, and I laughed.

"It's probably because deep down John was proud of his youngest son." Kate told him and Dean laughed as I smiled at the eye contact between Kate and Sam.

The more we traveled with them, the more it was obvious to me that Kate and Sam were falling in love. It was gradual, and they were glad to keep it slow and new, but at the same time it was clear that they were working at it—that it _wasn't_ a _perfect_ relationship. The two of them were adorable, and I loved both of them _very_ much, and their small, cute moments just made me feel happy inside. Sam even looked like he wanted to kiss her right then, but Dean cut them off and I decided to keep looking around too…the two could use their privacy.

"Oh, wow! It's my first sawed-off. I made it myself. Sixth grade. Holy crap!" Dean exclaimed, and I looked over to see another part that looked like a lot of guns and heavy weapons. "Look at this. He had land mines...which they didn't take. Or the guns. Guess they knew what they were after, huh?"

"Apparently." I agreed with a nod. "They came in with a purpose."

"Hey, guys, check this out." Sam said, and we looked over to see several boxes. "See these symbols? That's binding magic. These are curse boxes."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Curse boxes? They're supposed to keep the evil mojo in, right? Kind of like the Pandora deal."

"Yeah, they're built to contain the power of the cursed object." Kate told him.

"Dad's journal did mention a whole bunch of stuff, you know, dangerous, hexed items, fetishes. He never did say where they ended up." Dean contemplated.

"Yeah…this must be his toxic-waste dump." Sam mused, and then touched the dust where a box wasn't on the square. "One box is missing."

"Great," Kate said shaking her head, "here comes the hunt and the bad."

Dean shrugged at her. "Well, maybe they didn't open it."

"Yeah, just like Pandora, right?" I asked him.

Dean shrugged again. "Not everyone is curious."

"Tell that to the cat." I told him with a laugh. "The poor, dead, curious cat."

"Didn't satisfaction bring him back?" Sam asked me with a smile.

I laughed and nodded. "Meaning whoever stole the box opened it."

Dean groaned, and so the four of us got back into the Impala, and tried to piece everything together. In the end, we got a license plate number off of a security camera, and tracked them to their apartment. I was surprised it was as easy at it was, but then again I was pretty certain that things would end up going wrong—they always did.

"Connecticut. Last three digits 8-8-0." Kate pointed out.

"Yep, that's it." Sam told her.

Dean nodded and took a breath. "Should have blacked out their plates before they parked in front of the security camera."

We got out of the car, and then Dean shook his head at me and I made a face because I _knew_ it was coming. All four of us didn't need to go in there and since I was pregnant, I was going to have to stay behind. The idea of staying behind by myself in the damn car honestly made me annoyed—why did I have to stay in the car?

"Dean, come on!" I whined at him.

"No. We've been over this. Your hunting days are over for now." He said softly.

I pouted to try and get my way. "Dean, nothing is going to happen to me or our son."

"Not taking that chance. Now sit in the car." He told me, opening the door to the backseat of the car and pointing inside. "I'm not kidding."

"Fine." I sighed, and I got into the backseat, and Kate pointing at me and Sam holding out his hand. "What?"

Sam looked at me. "Hand it over."

"Hand _what_ over?" I asked him, thinking I was being clever.

"The gun." Dean told me with a sigh.

Kate laughed as I sighed. "You didn't _really_ think we didn't _know_ you by now, did you, Lanni?"

I made a face and reached into my jacket pocket and pulled the gun out, handing it to Sam, and pouting in the backseat. It didn't seem fair to me that I had to stay behind no matter how many times I told myself that I was pregnant. The baby was supposed to be protected and I could use spells while I was in there—create a force field—so why was I stuck in the car _by myself_?

"I'll sit here completely unarmed, by myself." I said bitterly. "This isn't fair that I can't help."

Dean leaned in and kissed me, and I just returned it swiftly and then put my laptop on my lap as he shut the door. I really wanted to get inside, so I jimmied the lock on the trunk, and got out a different gun, going inside the apartment complex and looking around until I heard the sounds of a fight. As I went down the hallway, I opened up the apartment door just in time to see two men on the floor, an open curse box, and the boys looking a little miffed, Kate shaking her head dismally.

"Sam! That's a lucky break." Dean said, and then I piped up as Sam looked at him, something in his hand.

"Is that a rabbit's foot?" I asked Sam.

"I think it is." Sam replied as Kate pointed at me and shot me a look.

Dean looked amused. "Huh. Hey! Why aren't you in the car?"

"I thought you might need some help." I shrugged, pocketing the gun.

"Well at least they're knocked out now! Do you know what could have happened had you come in here earlier?" Sam asked me.

Dean nodded in agreement. "You have to stop being so reckless! You're going to be a mother."

"Come on, Lanni…what's up?" Kate asked me.

I sighed and waved it off, going out to the car and sitting in the backseat. I knew he was right, but I felt like I couldn't just let him go fight demons by himself when he had less than a year to live. It wasn't fair, and yet…I had to stop putting myself in danger when soon I'd have a child to look after…I couldn't go around setting a bad example, and I couldn't take the potential risk that a force field would fail.

"Let's talk about this, okay?" Dean said softly.

I shook my head and started an e-mail to Jen, explaining everything that was going on. I figured that she should be informed, so that when I went to go and resurrect the girls in the next couple days, I wouldn't have any issues I was bottling up inside—that wasn't good for dark magic. Things had to be fixed, and laid out in the open, otherwise the darkness would consume the problems and that was a whole other issue.

"What are you doing that's more important than talking to me?" Dean asked me.

I sighed loudly. "We'll talk soon, okay? Right now I'm just reflecting, and I need to do it on my own."

Dean sighed too, but he nodded, and then drove somewhere and parked, Kate making a face at me but understanding. I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention, even when Sam was flipping through the journal. Then Dean came back to the Impala with a paper bag in his hand and Kate looked up at him.

"I'm not finding anything on it in Dad's journal." Sam told Dean, and I looked up as the bag rustled, and Dean pulled out scratching tickets. "Dean, come on!"

Dean made a face. "What? Hey, that was my gun he was aiming at your head. And my gun doesn't jam, so that was a lucky break. Not to mention them taking themselves out…_also_ a lucky break. Here. Scratch one. Come on, Sam. Scratch and win."

Kate laughed and rolled her eyes. "Leave it to you to make Sam your own lucky charm."

Sam took the tickets and started scratching. "Look, Dean, it's got to be cursed somehow. Otherwise, Dad wouldn't have locked it up."

He handed the ticket to Dean, and I got curious and looked over Dean's shoulder, Kate peeking over too. If this really _was _some kind of weird, luck, there was no harm in _using _that luck was there? Dean's face brightened, and my eyes lit up too, I'm not gonna lie…money was _always_ a good extra thing to have…_especially_ with a baby on the way.

"$1,200. You just won $1,200. Whoo! I don't know, man. It doesn't seem that cursed to me." Dean told Sam, and handed another ticket to him.

"We should be calling Bobby and asking what's up. Can I do it? I miss Bobby, and there's so much to tell him." I said suddenly.

Sam looked back at me. "I'll call him first, and then I'll let you talk to him."

"Fine…finish scratching those tickets and call him." I said reluctantly.

Sam nodded too, and then finished scratching the tickets and Dean beamed and got out of the car to display the tickets on the hood, and count up the winnings. Sam pulled out his phone and explained what happened to Bobby, and I closed the laptop and listened intently. Kate headed out to talk to Dean and I just smiled at them because I was appreciative for their friendship.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

I was kind of worried about Lana and about what she was doing, but at the same time I understood her. She was trying to fit into this world in a different way, and she wanted her husband to stick around since he'd made that ridiculous deal. Actually I hated him less than the others did…it had gotten me Sammy back but at the same time I was upset at how much it had cost Dean.

"You're something else." I told Dean as he counted his winnings.

He shrugged at me and pointed to one. "This is like an entire nursery."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa—you actually wanna spend a chunk of this on a nursery?" I asked him, smiling at how much he'd changed.

Dean Winchester wasn't the same man he had been before and that was in part to Lana and the new things Dean found important to him. He didn't have to change who he was—not in the slightest—but at the same time gradually on his own, he'd figured out what he wanted…what he needed…he'd found love and it changed _everything_ for him. His perspectives were changed, and Kate thought it was kind of sweet that Dean was thinking about the baby.

She knew that part of his excitement for a kid was that it was something he could leave behind when he was gone. It wasn't that he _wanted_ to leave a kid behind because he was upset he was leaving Lana alone with a baby, but he was leaving a legacy at least. Even though it would be hard for her, Lana would raise her child to at least hear of his or her father, and Dean knew he was having his baby with the only woman that he truly trusted and that was what mattered.

"Well I don't want my kid sleeping in a basket or anything." Dean told me.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "I think its endearing, honestly. You gonna tell _Lana_ about it?"

"No—Woman likes surprises." Dean replied with a grin. "Besides, I'm trying to do this whole 'romantic thing' and so I figure if I just get a nursery set up and then I _show_ it to her, she'll be all touched."

"Way to make it sound like you don't _want_ to be romantic, you just want to be romantic _for_ her." I told him with a laughed. "You should work on that."

Dean rolled his eyes at me. "I _really_ want to make this as easy on Lanni as possible, Kate. I don't want her to resent the baby. I mean I know that's not possible because she loves that baby more than anything but…with everything I'm putting her through, I need to be as supportive as possible. I _want_ this baby, Kate…you don't even know how much."

"Maybe I _don't_ know but…I believe you." I said nodding. "I believe that this baby means everything to you."

Dean nodded and smiled a little, looking at the tickets some more and I couldn't deny how excited _I_ was about them too. Sam having this kind of luck could be a good thing and honestly I was feeling in the mood…for him and nothing _but_ him. Sure I still wanted everything between me and Sam to blossom when it was _supposed_ to, but the way he fought back there, and the way every time I looked at him these days I just wanted him…I didn't know how much longer I could deny myself of him.

"So how are you and Sam?" Dean asked me with a chuckle.

I smiled and shrugged. "I'm totally into him."

"I can tell—you guys are always close, always talking, sometimes kissing…is that _all_ you guys do?" Dean asked, holding his hands up in surrender when I shot him a look. "Sorry, okay? I just feel like Lanni and I are the only ones having sex around here."

"Well excuse me if not _all_ of us are rabbits, Dean." I pointed out to him and then I blushed. "The time for us will come soon…when we have time for it."

Dean chuckled at that. "_Time_ for it? Dude, Lanni and I could go to a diner _right now_ and you guys could go at it in the back seat."

"Yeah…romance _isn't_ your thing." I told him nodding.

He laughed and I laughed with him, both of us making eye contact and nodding—this friendship between us was perfect. We talked about _everything_, whether we wanted to or not, and even though he still didn't really care and share with me like I knew he did with Lana and Sam, I was glad I was in his corner. He _trusted_ me, and that was really the only thing that I could hope for in the end.

"Maybe not." Dean shrugged. "So…what do you think about what's happening?"

I shrugged too and took a breath. "Whatever it is, I just hope that Sam's going to be all right. I didn't like the hex boxes, and I _hate_ that he touched the foot…there's a side effect and we both know it."

"Maybe he's got himself a case of good luck." Dean suggested and then sighed when I shot him a look. "Maybe not."

"Come on, Dean—your Dad had it hidden away for a _reason_." I reminded him.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"Now, look, Bobby, we didn't know." Sam tried, and I could tell Bobby was talking now. "Well, Dad never told us about this thing. I mean, you knew about a storage place in Black Rock?" Sam asked, and listened some more. "It's a hell of a luck charm." Sam told Bobby, as I nodded. "So, I won't lose it, Bobby." Sam protested, and sighed. "Well, then, how do we break the curse?" Sam asked him. "Fine. Don't hang up, Bobby, Lan wants to talk to you."

I took Sam's phone from him and got out of the car, walking off a little ways ignoring the looks that Dean and Kate gave me. Honestly I felt like I needed someone to talk to, and I believed that Bobby would be understanding. I had Ellen to go to, sure, but I knew what _she_ was going to say, and I'd fill her in later. Right now I had Bobby, and I knew that no matter what I said, he would listen to me and he would give me his own advice on the subject and that was all that I needed.

"I know we have to focus on this foot thing, but I need to confide some things in you, okay? John isn't here, and I'm not saying you're second best, I just—I need you, okay, Bobby?" I asked him.

"Yeah, okay, Lana. What's up?" He asked.

"First off, what's up with the foot?" I asked him, wanting that out of the way.

Bobby sighed and I knew he was upset. "It gives the person who touches it really good luck, but if Sam loses that foot, then his luck will turn so bad he'll be dead within the week, and since everybody loses it, which is part of its HooDoo, then I have to figure out the cleansing ritual."

I nodded sadly. "Great. This will be fantastic…all right…I need you to promise me, you won't yell at me when I spill my soul."

"I can't promise that." Bobby told me.

I smiled a little because honestly I was expecting _that_ too—Bobby had a way of just telling me how he felt. He would yell if he deemed it necessary, and honestly if he thought it was necessary, than, I deserved it and I'd have to let him do just that. So I took a deep breath and decided to just make sure he was _completely_ filled in on _everything_.

"Fine." I replied as I nodded. "Dark magic kind of runs in my family and though Dean knows that, he really doesn't understand and I don't have the heart to explain it to him. On top of that, there's this rune, and it has _all_ the answers to my witch side, and Jen and I need to activate it, but for that, I have to resurrect Annie and Kalli. That means dark magic, and I don't know what that will do to the baby."

Bobby took a few deep breaths. "You are walking drama, Lana."

I smiled a little. "Yeah I am. Look, I know it's a lot to lay on you, but I just—I need your opinion."

"Well, you and Dean seem to have at least _most _of your communication down so on that front, I don't have much to say and I don't think that _you're _dark, so having dark magic running through your veins I'm not worried about, because so far you haven't abused anything. As to dark magic, how dark are we talking?" Bobby asked me.

"Oh, there's more to it, Bobby. You see, my father says the baby's going to be evil, and the dark magic I'd be using is borderline, but I dunno if I should risk it but I prolly will. I just—everything is getting so complicated, and I mean I keep feeling like I have to fight alongside them so I can keep Dean from getting sent to Hell before his time but I have a _baby _to think about you know? I'm so mad at him, and yet I have forgiven him and I understand him, I'm just scared to be alone when he goes. I haven't told him about the resurrection because I know he'll try and talk me out of it with all of my doubts, no one knows what I'm going through because I've been bottling everything up inside, and I can't do that. I've been brushing up on the resurrection spell, and dark magic feeds on bottled up emotions." I explained to him quickly, trying to remember that I did in fact have to _breathe_ occasionally.

"Slow down, Lana." Bobby said firmly. "Now look, I think that as flattered as I am that you came to me with this, you need to tell Dean. You have to discuss all of this with your husband. Now you're only half demon, and even though your father said your son would be evil, demons lie. You have to calm down, and stop stressing out your body. I think this is the exact reaction your father wanted. If you panic, you stress out, and you lose the baby, which is a huge wedge between you and Dean. On top of that, you lose your focus, and you can get yourself hurt or even worse, killed. So just, calm down. As to resurrecting your sister, I'm not on board with dark magic, but if you feel like you have to find out about your witch half in order to find out who you are before you have this baby, then you have to do that. You just have to tell your husband what you're up to in case anything goes wrong…you have some inward searching ahead of you."

I smiled at that. "Thank you, Bobby. You've been _really_ helpful."

"Anytime, Lana. Don't hesitate to come to me, okay? I will always be here for the four of you." Bobby told me sincerely.

I nodded and smiled. "Thanks. We know. Same goes for you. Now go look up that cleansing spell."

"I'm on it." Bobby replied, and we hung up.

I looked at the phone a moment, and then took a deep breath. Bobby was right. I had to stop freaking out and go with my gut feelings. I had to resurrect the girls. I had to figure out my witch part in order to figure out exactly who I was. I wanted to better piece my past together before I brought my son into the world and had to teach him the ways of life…to teach him right and wrong.

"What did you tell Bobby?" Dean asked me.

I turned to him and raised an eyebrow. "What did he call you to tell you?"

"He thinks you're overstressed, and I need to be more observant." Dean told me.

"He's just looking out for me." I shook my head as I smiled. "We need to talk soon, okay?"

"Did you tell Bobby things you haven't told me yet?" Dean asked exasperatedly. "Because that's just not cool."

"Baby, let's just talk soon, all right?" I asked him. "We _really _need to."

"I know we do. Soon, okay? Let's get something to eat first. And by the way," Dean added, his smile widening into a grin, "we're up 15 grand."

I smiled at him. "I love when you're happy. Now yes, food. I really need food—I'm all hungry."

Dean nodded and kissed me when I took a hold of his jacket and looked up at him. He smiled a little and bit my bottom lip before he pulled away, making me make a face. I followed though and we got into the Impala and drove to a restaurant, Sam explaining that Bobby said he'd find a way to break the spell, but leaving out the important stuff because he didn't want to worry Dean and Kate and he wasn't sure if I knew entirely yet or not. We parked, and got out of the car, walking towards the restaurant, me running my fingers around my stomach.

"Don't worry: Bobby will find a way to break it. Till then, I say we hit Vegas, pull a little 'Rain Man'. You can be Rain Man." Dean told Sam as we went inside.

"We just lay low until Bobby calls back, okay?" Sam said, and then smiled at the matre de. "Hi, uh, table for four, please."

"Congratulations!" The matre de exclaimed.

"Say that again?" Kate said making a face.

"You are the one millionth guest of the _Biggerson's Restaurant Family_." He said, and they gave us a sign saying we'd won free meals for a year, and we got our picture taken.

After that was done we were shown to a booth and we got our free meals, Kate and I ordering more food than we really needed. Still we were both starving and I was eating for two, so I definitely wanted food. All four of us got coffee—mine was sadly Decaf—and then Dean ordered some ice cream and he was consuming it rather rapidly.

"This is awesome." Dean said, grinning.

"Riiight…cause you just got your picture taken, when you're running from the FEDS. Smooth, Dean. Really smooth." I told him as he ate the ice cream even faster. "Honey, slow down, or you're gonna get a brain freeze."

I laughed a little as he looked at me, shoving the spoonful in his hand into his mouth, and I shook my head. He was hot when he ate like that, but at the same time it was _ice cream_, and it was a bad idea to eat it the way that he was. Kate just laughed at him and told him to stop being such an idiot, eating a fry when Sam held one up to her mouth. They weren't even sickeningly sweet—they were more adorable than I could even describe!

"You said you like it when I eat like a barbarian." Dean protested ice cream in his mouth as he spoke.

I smirked and bit my lip. "I do, but you're going to hurt yourself."

Sam pulled out his laptop and started researching, and I looked at mine, Dean peering over. I didn't want him to see it, but I knew he was trying to be observant and pay more attention to me because of what Bobby had said to him and I appreciated it. At the same time, it wasn't the time to talk to him about any of it…he and I needed to have time and space…even though people being around meant he couldn't yell at me…

"What's that?" He asked me.

I shut the top and smiled awkwardly. "We'll talk about it soon. This isn't the time."

"Bobby's right." Sam said before Dean could protest, and so he kept shoveling ice cream into his mouth. "This lore goes way back—_pure_ hoodoo. You can't just cut one off any rabbit. It has to be in a cemetery under a full moon on a Friday the 13th."

Dean nodded at him. "I think from now on, we only go to places with Biggerson's."

He had just finished off the bowl when he got a brain freeze, and made a face, putting his hand up to try and stop the pain. I couldn't help but laugh, and ran my hand along his leg because I loved him and I hated seeing him in pain, but it was entertaining. He was bound to get a brain freeze and yet he just kept on shoveling ice cream into his mouth…silly, _beautiful_ man I was married to, let me tell you.

"Deep breaths." I whispered to him.

Dean gave me a look, and I kissed him, which caught him off guard, but he happily returned it. I smiled when he pulled away, and then I smacked his hand as he reached for my laptop because it just wasn't the time. He was going to say something, but a waitress came over and we were all suddenly more alert.

"You want me to top you off?" She asked Sam, Kate shooting her a look.

"Yeah…sure." Sam told her.

She smiled at him, and started to pour him more coffee, but then she spilled it on him and it was kind of obvious that she did it on purpose. She started apologizing, and wiping it up, flirting with Sam the whole time as Kate stepped in to mark her territory and I loved it—jealous Kate was cuter than I should have thought it was since we were related. Then the waitress walked away, and both Sam and Dean leaned over to watch her go.

I smacked Dean. "Stop watching attractive women walk away when your wife and mother of your unborn child is sitting right next to you and Sammy—your girlfriend is right next to you."

"Sorry." Dean said, and kissed me swiftly, pulling away and looking me in the eye. "Would it make things up to you if I told you that I loved you?"

I rolled my eyes and kissed him again. "Shut-up."

"I'm sorry, Kate." Sam told her, trying to kiss her quickly before he got an earful and bumping his forehead into hers, his hot coffee falling into his lap, making him stand up quickly and bump into a waiter, spilling the trays everywhere.

"How was that good?" Dean asked him.

"That bitch touched my boyfriend and stole the foot!" Kate exclaimed.

"Dean, move!" I told him, and shooed Dean out of the booth so I could get out because we needed to find that waitress—Sam's life depended on it.

"Son of a bitch." Dean exclaimed, and we went outside. "Come on!"

The four of us started running, and then we heard Sam let out a surprised sound. We turned around to see Sam on the ground and Kate hurried over to him. It seemed that now that he didn't have the foot, what Bobby had been saying was coming true: his luck was going downhill fast, and I needed to make sure that he didn't die—if not because _I_ couldn't live without my best friend, but because _Kate_ couldn't live without her boyfriend that she was falling in love with.

"Wow! You suck. So, what? Now your luck turns bad?" Dean asked him.

"I guess." Sam answered and I frowned.

"You have pretty badly scraped up knees." Kate said, looking him over diligently. "I hate that you have bad luck now."

"I wonder how bad…" Dean contemplated.

"Yeah, about that…" I said, trailing off and trying to get Dean's attention.

Dean looked at me. "What?"

"Bobby told me that Sam was bound to lose the foot—its part of the HooDoo on it." I explained, biting my lip because Kate looked _really_ worried now. "Basically, if we don't get the foot back…Sam's dead within the week."

"Great." Dean said, throwing his hands up into the air.

I nodded at that. "So we should go back to the guys who stole it in the first place—that one guy is prolly already dead from some really crappy 'accident'."

"Let's go." Dean told Sam, Kate and me.

"And Sam? You're sitting in the back with me so I can treat your knees." Kate said, pointing at me. "Lanni can have shotgun."

Sam nodded and Kate fixed him up, treating his wounds lovingly as I glanced back from the passenger seat every once in a while. I smiled at the tender care and how she kissed his cheek, and then when we arrived at the apartment, Dean let me go in with them. We walked into the guys' room, and saw one of them sitting there drinking some beer and reminiscing about his dead friend…he looked _so_ upset.

"Oh, man. What do you want?" He asked as we entered the room.

"Heard about your friend…its bad luck." Dean said with a nod.

He looked at Dean. "Piss off."

"We know someone hired you to steal the rabbit's foot…a woman." Dean told him, cutting to the chase.

"Yeah? How do you know that?" He asked us.

I stepped in. "Because she just stole it back from us."

The man laughed, and I sighed, and then swallowed down a feeling of sudden nausea. I was kind of completely over this whole morning sickness thing, but apparently it wasn't done with me. I just shook it off and opened my mouth to speak, but I was cut off by Sam, who had already stepped in when he noticed the look on my face.

"Listen, man, this is…" Sam began, but the moment he stepped forward, he ran into a toaster cord, tripped, and brought a lamp down with him onto the floor—Dean didn't even look back, but Kate and I did as Dean sighed.

"Sam, you okay?" Dean asked him.

"Yeah…I'm good." Sam answered from the floor.

I looked back at the man. "I want you to tell us her name…we would _really_ appreciate it."

"Screw you." He answered firmly.

"Hey," Dean warned, and I smiled a bit for him standing up for me, "it wasn't a freak accident that killed your partner."

The man stared at him. "What?"

"It was the rabbit's foot." Dean told him, Sam getting up off of the floor, looking pained and smiling a bit at Kate as she helped him up and smiled at him—I recognized that look: she was _totally_ turned on by his bad luck, and I thought that was _adorable_.

The man laughed a little. "You're crazy, man."

"You know I'm not." Dean said nodding. "You saw what happened; what it did. All the flukes—all the luck—when you lose the foot, that luck goes sour. That's what killed your friend. And my brother here is next, and who knows how many more innocent people after that. Now, if you don't help us stop this thing, then that puts those deaths on your head. Now, I can read people...and I get it. You're a thief and a scumbag. That's fine. But you're not a killer...are you?"

The man looked up as Dean got done asking his question and giving his speech, and I could tell he was going to tell us what he knew.

xxxx

We left the man's place, and it was definitely dark outside. I breathed in the night air, and sighed a little when I realized that right after this thing with the rabbit's foot, I'd get to see my family again—the family that was so wrongfully taken from Kate and me. It made me smile a little, and I looked over as Dean answered his phone when it rang, and I sighed and smiled a little when Sam's bad luck had him step in a huge wad of chewing gum that Dean and I had avoided.

"Baby?" Kate asked him.

Sam made a face at her. "What?"

"You're fucking sexy all sad-puppy-like." Kate replied, Sam smiling a little and then looking disgruntled, trying to get the gum off of his sewer.

"Hello?" Dean answered. "Bobby, that's, uh, great, except Sam, uh...Sam lost the foot." Dean said, and I sighed as Sam started to try and use the sewer drain to wipe the gum off of his foot. "Bobby, listen, listen. This hot chick stole it from him. I'm serious. In her mid-20s, and she was sharp, you know? Good enough of a con to play us, and she only gave the guys she hired a name…probably an alias or something. Luigi or something."

"Lugosi." Sam sighed as Dean looked over at him.

"Lugosi?" Dean replied, and shrugged, listening to Bobby on the other end. "Bela Lugosi? That's cute." Dean said, and I rolled my eyes, gasping a little as Sam's shoe fell off and went down the sewer drain, Kate letting out a strange noise. "She knew about the rabbit's foot. Is she a hunter?" Dean asked, and then shrugged after something Bobby said. "I guess she's back. Great. Thanks, Bobby, again."

Dean hung up, and then turned and I smiled a little and Kate and I let out an involuntary, 'awww' as Sam looked really down and adorable. He really _did_ look like a sad little puppy and I knew that Kate would jump him if she could. She was pretty worried about Sam and his bad luck, and I knew she didn't want to hurt him—no matter how badly she wanted to take him right then and there.

"What?" Dean asked him.

"I lost my shoe." Sam answered, in really innocent voice with a sad puppy dog look on his face.

Kate smiled even more. "I want to jump you _so_ bad right now, it's really not even funny."

"I could too." I said, holding my hand up in jest.

Dean looked at me. "Oh really?"

"I'm not _going _to." I told him, and rolled my eyes. "Have a little faith in your wife, please."

"Besides—I'd cut her before she even got to him." Kate replied, winking at Dean who just chuckled and nodded.

Then the four of us headed back to the Impala, Sam still upset about losing his shoe down the sewage drain. Bobby called back and let us know where Bela was, and I could tell that the wheels were turning in Dean's head. He and Kate were really the only _capable_ ones right now, and he knew it—he knew that Sam and I couldn't come.

"Alright, Bobby thanks. Hey, we owe you...another one." Dean told him, and hung up. "Alright, Bobby's got it on pretty good authority that this Bela chick lives in Queens. So it will take me about two hours to get there."

"So, what are we doing then?" Sam asked him, ready to head on out.

"You, my brother, are staying here, 'cause I don't want your bad luck getting us killed." Dean answered quickly and then turned to me. "And you, my wife, are staying here too so you don't get yourself or our son injured. I trust in you and your magic enough to take care of yourself in case Sam's luck goes sour. Kate? You can stay here or you can keep me company."

I sighed loudly. "You know, what if I want to personally slap this Bela chick across the face, huh?"

"That's too bad." Kate said with a shrug and then she turned to Dean. "If you think you can handle it on your own…I'd like to look after these two."

"She has her 'game' face on, Dean—_tell_ me you aren't leaving me with her so she and Sam can go at it!" I exclaimed.

Dean laughed loudly and then we all went to the motel room, Sam and I restless and yet aware that this was how it had to be. Sam was the one with bad luck, and I didn't have _all _of my powers one hundred percent intact because of my hormones. Not to mention that _anything _could go wrong, and having Kate to compensate was the best that we could hope for right then—it was the perfect plan.

"What am I even supposed to do, Dean?" Sam asked him.

"Nothing. Nothing. Come here. I don't want you doing anything. I want you to sit right here," Dean said, grabbing a chair and motioning to it, "and don't move, okay? Don't turn on the light. Don't turn off the light. Don't even scratch your nose. Baby, I love you. Kate, keep them safe."

Sam watched Dean leave as he sat in the chair and I sat on the bed, and then as soon as Dean was out of sight, Sam reached up and scratched his nose. Kate smiled at him and ran her fingers through his hair, me looking at them and smiling because they were adorable—I thought it constantly, but it was true.

"So what was with Ruby? Like really? Did you research your mother's friends?" Kate asked him after a little bit of time had gone by and we got bored researching things we'd already researched.

Sam sighed softly. "They're all dead."

"Oh." I said quietly. "Well…you know how Dean firmly thinks that's what dead should stay dead?"

"For him that goes different ways. I think he's glad to be alive himself, he's glad I'm alive again, and he's glad you got resurrected." Sam told me and then he made a face. "You two are resurrecting Kalli and Annie…aren't you?"

Kate took a deep breath. "Yes…and it involves some dark magic—otherwise we _can't_ activate the rune…and that's the whole reason we're doing _all_ of this, Sammy."

I nodded at him and he took a deep breath, glancing at me and then looking at Kate and making eye contact with her. She smiled at him and then kissed him softly, trying to make him understand that she needed to do this. It was that one thing that apparently us Meckenzie girls seemed to be able to make our points through to our Winchester men—the kiss that said, "I love you, trust me, everything will be fine".

"Fine." Sam said when Kate pulled away. "God I wish I could let you—"

"—I'm not a prude or anything, but please don't finish that sentence, Sammy." I said quickly, cutting him off.

Sam cleared his throat and looked at me. "Do you think that's a good idea, given what the demon said about your son?"

I sighed and shrugged, flopping back on the bed and looking at the ceiling. "I don't know, Sammy. I just know that the rune holds the key to the witch in me, you know? I need to know who I am, and I need to know about my past before I can bring a baby into my world."

I looked over at Sam as he nodded, and we both sat there quietly, Kate sitting on the other bed biting her lip. She wanted Sam _so _bad, but he didn't seem to be able to get into the mood like he wanted, and he was still having bad luck anyway so she wasn't pushing him—no matter the urges inside of her. It made me laugh a little, and then I held my hands up in surrender when she shot me a look and I started to think about the rune.

What was my real heritage? What would it mean for my baby? I had to know the answers—I had to bring the girls back. They had way more stuff locked up in them than I knew, and with Kristin here too, Jen, Kate and I could finally face the past together. Sam, Kate and I hung out in the room for a little while longer in complete silence, and I drifted off to sleep a little. I woke up to a weird noise, though, and turned over to see the heater vent start to smoke—honestly I had expected to wake up to some heavy groping on Kate's and Sam's parts…

"Oh, come on. I…I didn't…" Sam protested sadly.

I sat up as Sam went over to the vent, and looked down at it, it immediately bursting into flames. I hurried off of the bed as Kate quickly went over to him and Sam grabbed the comforter from the bed closest to him, smothering the flames. The three of us let out a sigh of relief, until Sam's jacket suddenly caught on fire, and he started to use the curtains to put it out. Kate and I went over to help him, but his bad luck caused him to rip the curtains off of the rod and fall backwards, taking us with him. When we came to, we were both tied to chairs, and I sighed.

"This always happens to me." I told them shaking my head. "I hope you know that."

The blonder man looked at me. "We actually expected you to be alone with him."

I raised an eyebrow. "Well that makes me feel better inside…"

"You weren't expecting me, huh? Why not?" Kate asked them as Sam came to, the dark haired man tightening Sam's restraints.

"Oh, he's awake—back with us, eh? We didn't even have to touch you. You were all spastic and knocked yourself out. It was like watching Jerry Lewis trying to stack chairs." The blonder one said.

"Who are you? What do you wan…?" Sam began, but the blonder one snapped his fingers.

"I used to think your friend Gordon sent me..." He was saying.

Sam sighed loudly. "Gordon? Oh, come on."

"_That's_ why you expected me alone with Sam. Never mind, it all makes sense now since Gordon is an idiot and always thought I had these underlying feelings for Sam." I said rolling my eyes.

"...because he asked me to track you down and put a bullet in your brain." The man continued.

Sam nodded at him. "Great. That sounds like him."

"But as it turns out...I'm on a mission from God." He told Sam, and hit him.

"Hey!" I gasped. "God doesn't ask people to slap other people!"

The blonder one raised his hand at me, but a force field immediately went up. He was just threatening, but the look on my face made him do a slight double-take and I looked at Kate, who looked at me and made a face too. I hadn't made that force field…the baby had…and somehow she _knew_ that. He shook it off, and turned back to Sam, Kate telling him to knock it off and let Sam be.

"You were a part of that demon plan to open the gate, weren't you?" He asked him, the brown-haired guy splashing water on Sam's face.

Sam made a face. "We did everything we could to stop it."

"Lie, lie, lie! You were in on it. You know what they're next move is, too, don't you?" The man asked Sam heatedly.

Sam sighed loudly. "No, I don't, okay? You're wrong about all of this."

"Where are they gonna hit us next? Where?" He asked again, and hit Sam.

"You can stop hitting him now!" Kate yelled at him.

The man ignored her. "Gordon told me about you, Sam, about your powers. You're some kind of weirdo psychic freak."

Sam shook his head. "No, not anymore. I have no powers, no visions…nothing. It just…"

The man hit him again, and I tried to get out of my restraints, but the brown haired man came over and he didn't look too happy with me. Good thing my force field was still up, and that Kate was more able to get out of her restraints than me. We needed to get away from these crazy people, and we knew it—this just _wasn't_ our day.

"Lie! Now, no more lies. There's an army of demons out there, pushing at a world already on the brink. We're on deck for the endgame here, right? So maybe, just maybe you can understand why we can't take chances." The blonder one explained, and aimed a gun at Sam's head.

"Whoa! Okay, okay. Now, hold on a minute." Sam said, trying to reason with him.

"Kubrick, get—" The brunette said intervening.

"—no! You saw what happened, Creedie. Ask yourself…why are we here? Because you saw a picture on the web? Because we chose this motel instead of another? Luck like that doesn't just happen." Kubrick told his partner, whirling on him.

"Look, I can explain _all_ of that." Sam said, interrupting.

"Shut up!" Kubrick told Sam, still looking at Creedie. "It's God, Creedie. He led us here for one reason…to do his work. This is destiny."

He aimed the gun at Sam and I laughed. "God doesn't have men kill for him. Men justify themselves with God and destiny to feel better about the crap they've done…it's not destiny."

"She's right. No destiny." Dean said, aiming his gun at Kubrick's head. "Just a rabbit's foot."

I had honestly never been so happy to see Dean in my entire life than right then. Kate even grinned to see him standing there, and Sam looked pretty excited too because we didn't like being tied up. It was up to Dean to save the say, and though it was two against one, Kate was almost through her restraints to help him out.

"Put the gun down, son, or you're gonna be scraping brain off the wall." Kubrick told him, the gun still pointed at Sam's head.

"Oh, this thing?" Dean asked, being smug with his gun.

"Yeah, that thing." Kubrick told him, turning to him.

"Okay." Dean said, putting the gun on a table in the RV. "But, you see, there's something about me that you don't know."

Dean picked up a pen, and I raised an eyebrow—what was he even doing? He was being all smug while Kate, Sam and I were duct taped to our chairs, and we needed him to just do something. Then I picked up on it—damn son of a bitch had touched the fucking rabbit's foot! What was he _thinking_?

"Yeah? What would that be?" Kubrick asked him, sharing Sam's skepticism.

"It's my lucky day." Dean replied, and threw the pen, it lodging itself in Kubrick's gun. "Oh, my God! Did you see that shot?" He asked, laughing, and then Creedie ran at him, but Dean dodged effortlessly, and Creedie knocked himself out on the RV wall. "I'm amazing." Dean added, and then picked up a remote control and hit Kubrick right in the forehead, knocking him out, and then posing as I grinned in pleasure. "I'm Batman."

"Yeah. You're Batman." Sam told him sarcastically.

"Hey!" I told Sam, winking at Dean. "Batman's talking."

Dean smiled at me. "I'm untying _her_ first."

Dean set to getting me untied, and then untied Sam and I sighed as I got Kate out of her restraints. I was glad that we had gotten out of this, but Dean had touched the foot and I was really upset about it. That just meant that he was bound to lose it and if there was one thing I _didn't_ want, it was to lose Dean before his time, and he _had_ to know that.

"You touched the foot." I told him.

Dean shrugged. "Helped, didn't it? Anyways, we can go cleanse it now."

"Right…and hey, it helps 'cause you got to be Batman for a while." I told him winking. "That was sexy."

"Think I could get lucky right now?" Dean asked me, wiggling his eyebrows.

I pondered it playfully. "Yeah, if I could trust that nothing bad would happen to Sammy, but I can't really promise that."

"Fine," Dean sighed, "you owe me."

"Yeah, I do." I told him. "Now let's go burn that foot."

Dean nodded, and we all got our stuff together and headed to a cemetery to cleanse the foot. It was dark when we got there, and we started to get all the ingredients together rather carefully, Kate and Sam making sure all was in order. Dean was taking advantage of his luck and I just smiled at him, glancing at Sam.

"Alright…bone ash, cayenne pepper." Sam rambled off, pouring it on some of the embers. "That should do it."

"One second." Dean replied, taking advantage of his luck by scratching some more scratch tickets.

"Dean…" Sam protested.

"Hey, back off, jinx." Dean told him quickly and then he smiled. "I'm bringing home the bacon."

I laughed and shook my head. "Just hurry, okay?

"Alright." Dean answered, and when he was done, he put the tickets in the pocket of his jacket and put it on one of the tombstones. "Say goodbye to 'wascawy wabbit'."

We all turned when we heard a weapon and came face to face with the woman from the restaurant, only her hair was much longer without the wig on. I glared at her and Kate had a mean look to give her too, both of us mad for different reasons: she had been the reason all this happened for me, and for Kate, Bela had groped Sam practically. Needless to say, she was on _both_ of our hit lists.

"I think you'll find that belongs to me. Or, you know...whatever. Put the foot down, honey." Bela told Dean.

I scoffed. "Don't call him, 'honey'."

"No. You're not gonna shoot anybody. See, I happen to be able to read people. Okay, you're a thief, fine, but you're not—" Dean tried, but Bela shot Sam in the shoulder.

"Ow!" Sam cried out and we all looked at Sam and then back at Bela.

Dean started for Bela. "Son of a—"

"—back off, tiger. Back off. You make one more move, and I'll pull the trigger. You've got the luck, Dean. You I can't hit. But your brother…him I can't miss." She explained. "I could even shoot Lana to make it an easier decision for you."

"What the hell is wrong with you? You don't just go around shooting people like that!" Dean protested.

Bela rolled her eyes. "Relax. It's a shoulder hit. I can aim. Besides, who here hasn't shot a few people? Put the rabbit's foot on the ground now."

"Alright! Alright. Take it easy." Dean said, and started lowering the foot to the ground, but then changed his mind. "Think fast."

He tossed the foot to her and she caught it, Dean, Sam, Kate and I smiling. Even though he was a pain in the ass sometimes, he knew when to fake someone out and now if Bela got rid of the foot, she'd just be dooming herself. She made a face and I laughed, nodding because bitch deserved everything she got.

"Damn." She said softly.

Dean nodded and grinned. "Now, what do you say we destroy that ugly-ass piece of dead thing?"

Bela had no choice, so she came over and dropped it into the flame, not looking happy at all. I could honestly care less because she had shot at Sam and that just wasn't allowed as far as I was concerned. Besides, had she hurt him worse than that, Kate would have killed her…too bad she hadn't gotten to kill Bela…I would have enjoyed watching that…

"Thanks very much." Bela said after dropping the rabbit's foot on the embers. "I'm out $1.5 million and on the bad side of a very powerful, fairly psychotic buyer."

"Wow. I really don't feel bad about that. Sam?" Dean asked him.

"No. Not even a little." Sam said, still holding his shoulder. "Kate?"

Kate laughed. "Honestly, I find it entertaining. Lana?"

"Agreed—I'm kinda _thrilled_ you have someone you don't like on your ass. Mainly 'cause I don't really like you." I told her with a grin and a shrug.

Bela just shrugged and started to walk away, turning back to us and leaning on the tombstone with Dean's jacket on it. "Maybe next time, I'll hang you out to dry."

Dean nodded at her. "Oh, don't go away angry. Just go away."

"Have a nice night, boys." Bela told them. "And you too, Kate and Lana."

I waved it off, and then after watching the foot burn and getting our stuff together, it hit me—she was a little klepto. Probably meant we didn't have the tickets anymore…I mean she couldn't have known honestly, right? Then again, bitch seemed to know just about _everything_…yeah…we were pretty much doomed and that meant that the whole nursery thing was out the window now…

"You good?" Dean asked Sam.

"I'll live." Sam answered smiling when Kate rubbed his back, looking down at her. "I promise."

Kate nodded at him. "We'll fix him up when we get to Jen's…well the next motel—_then_ we'll get to Jen's."

Dean nodded too. "I guess we're back to normal now, huh? No good luck. No bad luck. Oh, I forgot. We're up $46,000." Dean started rummaging through his pockets. "I almost forgot about the...scratch tickets." He said, but then the look on his face made me sigh.

"She stole them, didn't she?" I asked him and it was then that we looked towards the road as a horn honked—Bela.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean said, acting like a four-year-old—oh how I loved my husband.

xxxx

After getting Sam patched up and getting packed, we went to Jen's since it was time to do a resurrection and Kate and I knew it. I had the boys stay at my house, and then Kate and I hurried off and I cursed myself for not telling Dean what it was that I was going to do. Jen was going to house the girls, since her house was bigger, and so, Kristin, Jen, Kate and I got the stuff ready, and Victoria showed up.

"All right, let's get this over with." Victoria said dismally.

Jen grabbed some folders. "I've been getting a bunch of old things for them to look at to maybe remember."

"Good thinking." I said smiling.

"They've been dead longer than you, so their memories will be more fragmented, but they should be okay." Kate explained, taking a breath.

I nodded slowly. "We'll all help them through."

"You told him." Kristin told me.

I looked at her. "Told who, what?"

"You told Dean about us resurrecting the girls." Kristin said, crossing her arms over her chest.

Jen looked at me. "Lan! You promised me you wouldn't until it was done!"

"I didn't tell him we were for sure telling them anything!" I protested loudly, pointing at Kate. "I asked him if he would be mad if I did it hypothetically and _Kate_ told _Sam_!"

"KATE!" Jen yelled and then looked at me. "That's not much better, Lanni."

"Sure it is. I mean now I know he'll be really pissed off, but he'll be understanding about it. Come on, you know what the spell said about having cooped up feelings." I told her. "I had to make sure everything I needed to say was out in the open and Kate did too, so she told Sam. We need to get over it and move on."

Jen shook her head. "You're hopeless. Now let's get this done."

I nodded as Kristin laughed, and then Victoria helped us to make the circle. We lit the candles, and then Jen got into a box, and she pulled out lamb's blood in containers and I made a face. The _worst_ part of the resurrection for me was killing the lamb, so I was _so_ glad that _Jen_ had done it since I was squeamish that way.

"We have to do this now, because the lambs were killed an hour ago, and the blood isn't going to be fresh enough for the ritual if we wait much longer." Victoria explained—okay, so _Victoria_ had done it…as long as it wasn't _me_.

She started chanting Latin, and so Jen and I grabbed the spell book, and chanted along, Kate's voice mingling with ours. Soon the wind was howling, and I felt something inside—the baby was moving. It was too early for the baby to actually be doing anything big, but for some reason he was fighting something. He knew his mother was using dark magic and I paused a moment, but Jen nudged me, Victoria starting to pour the blood over the open graves.

After a moment or two, the candles blew out, and thunder cracked, and then our eyes flashed—mine flashing yellow. They stayed that way for a moment and I smiled wickedly, and then I shook the feeling and the eyes away, making me feel like something _bad_ was bound to happen soon. Then there were two gasps, and some coughs, and Victoria, Jen, Kate and I opened up the two coffins.

"Holy fuck, I'm alive again." Annie said taking deep breaths.

"Whoa…rush." Kalli stated nodding slowly.

I looked at them as they climbed out and brushed themselves off, and then I smiled and hugged them. My family was back, and the way that Kate held Kalli to her made me almost cry. We had our sisters back, and it felt like we were _supposed_ to have them…no matter what side effects there could be, we had our girls back, and we were _that_ much closer to figuring out our heritage.

"How much do you remember?" I asked them quickly.

"It's all fragmented, but then again, yours were too." Kalli said shrugging. "I remember the basics for right now."

Annie nodded. "So do I. So…wow. What's new?"

"Oh God do I have a lot to share." I said as Kate promised Kalli that she'd help her to get her memories back.

"Hey! Kristin's back!" Kalli called, and hugged her.

Annie came over to me. "What does this mean for our demon halves?"

I sighed and shook my head. "We're all more demon than we once were."

I placed my hand on my stomach and cringed a little, but the pain soon subsided as the others looked at me. They were happy to see me pregnant and I knew they wanted to gush over my pregnant bump, but it wasn't the time. Something was up and I was worried, and the look on my face was worrying them too…great.

"What?" Annie asked me.

"I really don't know if that was a good idea for me to dabble in the dark arts again, Annie…I don't think my son appreciates me." I replied sighing softly.

**Note: On snaps, people! Yeah, so…I hope you enjoyed that as much as I enjoyed writing it! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	56. New Levels to Reach

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**All right, this switches between Lana's and Kate's POVs, and it has a little smut.**

**I hope you guys like it!**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

"I don't want to tell Dean I actually did it." I told Kalli honestly as we lied on our backs on the bed.

Kalli nodded slowly. "I get that, I do, but you have to. Sooner or later he'll see one of us walking around. You can't let him figure it out by himself—he'll be mad you didn't tell him first…and he'll be _livid_ when he finds out Kate told Sammy and you didn't tell him. I mean you know this already, but you and Dean kind of have _way_ more history than Sam and Kate so…_you're_ in the wrong here."

"That settles _that_—you guys are _definitely _under house arrest until I tell him." I said, and rested my hand on my stomach as Kalli laughed at me.

"Sooner or later you have to tell him, Lana." Kalli reminded me, shrugging. "You can't just come over here to hang out with us to stave off the dark magic without telling him you're having a problem with it like you have for the last two days…how has the baby been?"

I smiled a little. "I think he's fine, honestly. He's been doing some magic in the womb whenever he senses that I or both of us are in danger—he can make force fields. It's really _all_ he can do right now, but, it's kind of unnerving, honestly. This baby is going to be given a choice later on down the road, and I don't know if I'm strong enough to teach him to choose _my_ side—the _non_ dark side. I definitely _can't _do this on my own, but I know I'll have help…I just know that even with all the help everyone wants to give me, I'm going to miss my husband. The worst part? He has this habit of acting like he doesn't care, Kalli. That's tearing Sam apart, you know?"

"I know that everything you just got off of your chest is pretty overwhelming for you, but I really miss being your confidant." Kalli whispered, stroking my hair.

"I do too." I admitted, nodding. "Have you spoken to Lance in a while?"

Kalli shook her head. "Nope—we've been in the house."

"Oh, right: I'm the warden who issued the house arrest." I told her.

We both laughed, and then we put our heads together and looked up at the ceiling, just enjoying each other's company. Kate and Annie filed in, and they each got on the bed too, all of us just lying there not saying anything. I wrapped my arm around Annie and pulled her closer to me, and we all just stayed that way for a couple hours. Then we went down to eat, and then we played a few card games, and then it was dark outside and I knew Kate and I shouldn't have spent the _whole_ day away from Sam and Dean.

"I should be getting back to my house." I said after a game of Rummy that Kate had won.

Jen nodded and made a face. "Your husband will want to know where you are."

"I'm going to tell him." I told her, hating that everyone was ganging up on me but _so_ glad that they were at the same time.

"Anything you need to blame on me, please do." Jen said stroking my hair. "I have two kids—he can't hurt me."

"I'm not going to blame any of it on you, Jenny. This was _our_ decision, and I need to accept that." I told her shrugging. "Besides—eventually Dean will know that Kate was all honest with her boyfriend, and he needs to hear all of this from me…right _now_."

Jen nodded at me and then I hugged everyone, and went to my house and opened the door, Kate close behind me. I sat down on the couch when I realized that no one was around, and started thinking as Kate made herself something to eat. I was going to be a mother in five months—I was going to end up raising a son by myself. Everything in life looked so good until this looming, ticking clock started timing Dean's minutes on this earth…everything was good until I sat down and thought about how I only got Dean for _ten_ months—it just _wasn't_ enough time.

"Lanni, are you okay?" Sam asked, coming in the door.

I just nodded through the tears, and I felt Sam wrap his arms around me. "I can't do it, Sammy. I can't just sit around and wait for Dean to up and die—I have to do _something_. This baby's future is big, and he won't even have his Dad in it." I said, sobbing now. "I thought I was, but I'm not—I'm not ready to be a mother. God, I'm not even ready to be a wife. Why did they have to bring me back? Why did they have to make me do this again? Why did I marry him? Why did I let myself get pregnant?"

"You're going to be an _amazing _mother, Lan." Sam told me kissed the top of my head, and I cried into his chest as he held me tightly. "You'll teach him everything you know, and you'll teach him morals, and right from wrong. Having a baby changes everything, and you're going to make the most of it. This baby may have a huge future, but you and Dean made him out of love. You married Dean, because you chose him. You got pregnant, because God wanted you to have this baby. Everything happens for a reason, Lan—everything—and there is _no _way that Kate and I will let you do this _alone_. We're going to find a way to get Dean out of this deal. You two will raise your son together, and Kate and I will dote on and spoil the little guy. You and Dean have a future together—Kate and I are going to help you to make _sure _of that."

I nodded a little. "But what if we can't get Dean out of his deal? Will you promise me that you'll always be here for me?"

I looked up into his brown eyes, and Sam took a deep breath—he didn't want to promise that. Making that promise was admitting that there was a possibility that we wouldn't be able to get Dean out of his deal. Making that promise meant admitting defeat to this thing called fate that we used to rely on so whole-heartedly.

"Lan…" Sammy tried, shaking his head slowly.

"Sammy, please. I need to know that if things don't go the way we want them to that you will be here for me. You're my family too, you know." I reminded him.

Sam nodded and kissed my forehead. "I will always be here for you, Lanni."

"Sammy and I won't _ever_ leave you, Lanni." Kate told me from the doorway.

I smiled at them and nodded through my tears, Kate coming over and the three of us sharing a group hug. No matter what happened—no matter the fun or the promises…all of my thinking led me back here and I got scared all over again. Would that ever change? Would we get Dean out of his deal? If he died would I _really_ be able to accept that and move on? Unfortunately…only time would tell.

xxxx

When I got up in the middle of the night, I smiled a little as I looked in the mirror—I _definitely _had a pregnant bulge now even though it was small, and that made me _so_ happy. It was at the point where those who knew me were excited I was showing, but those who didn't know me wouldn't right off the bat assume I was having a baby. This baby inside of me was love more than he would ever be able to comprehend, and part of me honestly couldn't wait to just see him.

"Well good evening to you." Dean said, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck after yawning—I'd obviously woken him up when I got out of bed.

I turned around in his arms and he gave me a look—I wasn't seeming like I was in the mood, and that kind of made him make a playful face. We hadn't slept with each other since right before resurrecting the girls, and I missed my husband. We'd been a little distant, and yet so close…and I _really_ needed to tell him what I had done, I just hadn't found the right moment. Then again was there a _right_ moment to tell him that?

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked softly.

Dean leaned in a little, and I pulled back and he sighed. "Yes…you can ask me a question."

"What do you want to name him?" I asked Dean in a whisper.

"Name him?" Dean repeated.

I nodded at that. "Name our son. We haven't discussed it at all. I mean we touched on how special he'll be, but we haven't discussed names and…I think he needs a name."

"Yeah…I guess he does." Dean said with a little laugh. "What names do you like?"

"Jonathon Robert Samuel Winchester." I told him, pretty much immediately.

He raised an eyebrow. "You're like _asking_ him to get beaten up on the playground with that long, distinguished sounding name."

"Hey! I am _not_!" I protested and then I shrugged. "I just…your father, Bobby and Sam are all _incredibly_ important to _both_ of us, and I thought it would be a nice way to honor them all in one fell swoop."

Dean nodded slowly and stroked my hair, fondness and sadness in his eyes and I couldn't blame him. Then he kissed me softly and pulled back and I wasn't quite sure I understood the look on his face this time around. When I opened my mouth to ask him about it he shook his head and I shut my mouth immediately, waiting for him to speak.

"He's going to be our only one…isn't he?" Dean asked me.

I took a deep breath. "It's bad enough that you're leaving me with one kid, I just…I don't think I could handle more than that—no matter _how _many kids I may have wanted out of you before."

"I couldn't persuade you at all?" Dean asked, hope in his voice.

"I'm thinking 'no'." I replied honestly, kissing him even though I knew now that he wanted more than one kid out of me. "I love you though…you _know _that by now, right?"

Dean nodded and kissed me back. "I know…and I love you too."

He stroked my hair again and I bit my lip, returning the kiss he placed on my lips—we tried so hard lately _not_ to talk about this last year of his very often. There were so many times I wanted to say something that had to do with it, and ask questions—but I kept the questions to myself. If I wanted to talk about how I felt about Dean leaving, I had to talk to Sam or Kate about it—Jen about it—or to Annie, Kalli and Kristin about it.

"Okay, now you're sad." He said softly, pulling out of the kiss.

I sighed softly. "But I can't talk to you about it."

"Baby…you can talk to me about _everything_." Dean told me.

"No, I can't." I replied, shaking my head. "Some things just push us apart and we don't have time to _be _apart."

Dean nodded and hung his head a little, knowing what I was talking about. He knew I wasn't upset at him for _making _the deal anymore—but he knew that I was upset about him dying and leaving me alone. I'd forgiven him for what he'd done because he did it for Sam, but I still hadn't coped with knowing that he was going to leave me. There was still _so _much to talk about that neither of us wanted to dwell on.

"You want to talk about the deal, don't you?" He asked me.

"But I can't." I replied, pulling out of his arms and walking over to the bed. "I mean where is it going to get us? More arguing? I don't want anymore arguing. I don't want to talk about the things we're going to argue about. There are things I think we can both stand to let alone until closer to when—"

"—Lanni, just be honest with me." Dean told me, cutting me off.

I looked at him and nodded slowly. "All right then be honest with me, Dean: are you scared to die?"

Dean looked at the bed and then ran his hand down his face. "Does it matter?"

"Of course it matters, Dean!" I exclaimed, letting out a breath and shaking my head. "You're going to die and leave me with our son and I want to know if you're scared to leave us. Selfish? Yeah, but…I guess I just want to know how you're feeling about all of it because mostly you keep yourself all closed off, and when you don't, you say one thing and then act another way and it's confusing, Dean."

"Of course I'm scared of leaving you! I'm just not scared to do what I said I would do, Lanni." Dean explained to me, shrugging a little. "I'm going to Hell to keep my side of the deal of bringing my brother back, and that's what I'm going to do. I don't want to leave you, but I have to."

I nodded and then closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Yeah…I don't want to be without you, Dean. Can't you try harder to find a loophole in this deal of yours? I mean, really. Why don't you care?"

"I _do_ care! I do!" Dean protested, raising his voice as I expected him too.

"It sure shows." I said and it came out as a scoff.

Honestly I hadn't meant for it to come out that way, but it had and I couldn't take it back—and I wasn't planning on it. He and I had some things to get through and since he was seeming a little more open to the 'discussion' tonight, it seemed to me that though it seemed redundant, it was worth digging deeper. Dean didn't want to dig any deeper, but I did and lately I was 'winning' these kinds of talks between us and I wanted to know more…I just wanted to be let in all the way like it used to be.

Dean sighed and rubbed his temples. "I don't want to fight, Lanni. I don't. Please can we just go back to bed? Can I hold you please?"

"Why, because you have limited time to get to do that?" I asked softly.

Dean shook his head. "No…because I want to."

"Because you love me?" I asked him.

"I love you more than anything." Dean nodded sincerely.

"I needed to hear that." I said, smiling a little.

Dean sighed and stroked my hair. "I needed you to _know_ that."

I nodded slowly. "Well this loving conversation just died. I'm sorry, Dean. I just—I can't stop thinking that sooner or later I'm not going to have you and I don't know what to do. I don't want to keep coming back here, but we can't _not_, just…can we just crawl back into bed and sleep?"

"One more question? My turn?" Dean asked me and I just nodded at him. "Why did you wake up with a start?"

"I'm…there's a lot going on with me, and I'd like to talk about it in the morning when we're both a little more rested. Can we talk tomorrow?" I asked him. "My head's just not a pretty place to be right now."

"Mine either." Dean told me truthfully.

It made me feel bad that I could tell he was telling me the truth, and I had conveniently left out that I was having bad dreams about having used dark magic to bring the girls back. He and I were talking about it in the morning whether I wanted to tell him or not—he didn't deserve to have this secret kept from him and I knew it. I needed to stop keeping him at arm's length because right now _I_ was the one being untruthful—I just didn't have the strength to argue with him about it right now.

"Just hold me." I said softly, crawling into bed.

Dean crawled in next to me. "Because I have limited time to hold you?"

I shook my head. "Because I love you, and I want you to hold me."

Dean smiled a little and kissed me and I returned it, holding him close because I always felt better in his arms. He was the man I loved, and I really needed to show him that more often—no matter what we had to deal with. I needed him to know that I was his, and that even when I was sad, or when I was angry with him, he was mine too, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

"I like the name you picked." Dean whispered to me, kissing my head as we snuggled into the covers. "I think it's actually pretty perfect."

I smiled sadly and nodded. "Jonathon Robert Samuel Winchester it is then."

xxxx

I woke up the next morning to Dean running his hand along my arm and I smiled, my eyes closed and Dean chuckled a little. I snuggled closer to him, my back against his front, and he nuzzled my neck with his nose, kissing it softly. We were silent for a moment, and then I opened my mouth because as loving as the moment was, I had to tell him what I had done.

"You know I love you." I said and I could tell Dean was smiling when he kissed my shoulder and ran his hand down my arm to squeeze my hand.

"I love you too." He replied.

"Okay…I'm sorry I'm such a bad wife." I told him.

"Okay, turn over." Dean sighed loudly, and I did, him sliding his hand up my tank top and running his fingers along my pregnant bulge. "All right, first thing first: you are _not_ a bad wife. If anything you're one of the best wives that there are. You've been by my side even though you were pissed and even though you get sad and you get annoyed and you get scared about your lack of a future with me, you make it a point to show me how much you love me and I honestly appreciate it…it sucks, but you only have me right now…then you're going to have whoever you let into your life when you move on."

I nodded, the tears brimming. "I want _you_, Dean…and I want you forever."

Dean kissed me softly. "Yeah…I don't think you know how much I wish I could do that for you, but I have to reap what I sewed."

I wanted to tell him to suck it up and let Sam, Kate and I help him out of the deal, but I didn't want to ruin the loving way he was looking at me. I moved my face closer to his, and ran my nose gently along his nose, touching his lips with mine after he closed his eyes. I giggled a little as he ran his fingers along the elastic of my pajama pants and decided that actually post sex would be the _perfect_ time to tell him—he'd be relaxed.

"You're terrible." I whispered with a laugh, not wanting him to think this was any different than normal.

He laughed and shrugged. "It's one of my good qualities."

"Notice anything different?" I asked him softly.

"You're starting to show more." Dean told me, a grin on his face.

I nodded happily. "Yes I am."

Dean smiled a little more and he looked like he was glowing for a moment, kissing me again in his happiness. It was nice to see him happy about something—I just wish he didn't think about it as something he was leaving behind. I pushed the thoughts away though, lifting his shirt up a little, both of us sitting up, Dean letting me pull his shirt off, and then as he kissed me and started lifting up my shirt, my phone rang.

"Sorry." I whispered.

"It's okay." He said, lying down as I grabbed my phone off of the nightstand.

"Hey." I answered, closing my eyes because it was Annie. "I'm actually trying to satisfy the husband right now, so…"

Annie laughed loudly. "Sorry, I just wanted you to know that we're all actually _really_ bored. We hate being cooped up in this house."

"Oh my God, fine." I told her, rolling my eyes. "Do what you want."

"Thank you!" Annie cried, and hung up.

I shut my phone and Dean looked puzzled, me biting my lip because it was just affirming that I needed to talk to him. Still, I _firmly _believed that if we could just sleep together, he'd be relaxed enough to receive the information with _far_ less hassle than if I just told him right then. One thing was for sure: I was _not_ going to make up some ridiculous lie, so when he raised his eyebrows at me, I just shook my head and waved it off.

"I don't want to talk about it right now." I admitted, and kissed him softly.

He chuckled a little and kissed me back, turning us over, him on top, both of us just wanting to make this happen. I ran my hands along his bare torso, sitting up enough for him to get my shirt off over my head, and then Dean's phone rang as his lips finally made it to my neck. Dean bit down gently and then sighed loudly, picking up his phone and stroking my hair, running his thumb along my cheek.

"Sorry." He said softly.

I waved it off. "It's fine, answer it."

I laid there as he sat up on top of me and answered his phone, running my fingers along his pajama pants, cocking my head to one side. He smiled down at me as he flipped open his phone, cupping my right breast with his free hand, running his thumb along the brim of the cup of it. I rolled my eyes because he'd be like this no matter _who_ was on the phone, and so I just ran my fingers along his inner thighs.

"Hello?" Dean answered, swallowing and smiling the closer to his member I got and then dragged my fingernails down and away to his knees again. "Oh hi, Bobby. The Colt? Look, Bobby—Lana and I are only half dressed right now." Dean explained and I laughed a little. "No, not like we just woke up—clothes don't just come off, Bobby."

"Dean!" I chastised, smacking his shoulder softly.

Dean chuckled at whatever Bobby had told him. "Yeah…after I'm done servicing the wife, Sam and I will head over to help so Kate and Lanni can have another girl's day or whatever with Jenny. All right…yeah, uh-huh…bye, Bobby."

I laughed a little as Dean hung up and then wiggled his eyebrows. "We should help Bobby with the Colt."

Dean shook his head. "We should help ourselves to each other."

"All right—if Bobby really doesn't need us. Kate and I are more than willing to lend a hand and I think you know it." I told him nodding.

Dean and I smirked at each other and he came back down, kissing me, rocking himself against me. I moaned softly in his mouth, tugging on his hair a little and rocking my body up against his, his fingers trailing down my torso like he knew _exactly _what I wanted—and the thing was that he probably did. He knew me so well that he knew how to shut me up, he knew my body movements, and he smirked a little as he slipped his fingers under my waist band and then bit my neck again, a knock resounding on the bedroom door.

"Occupied!" Dean called out to me.

Sam sighed loudly. "This is important!"

"So is what I'm trying to do to my wife!" Dean replied, slipping his fingers into my underwear and kissing my neck gently.

"Annie stopped by to give me something to give, Lan." Sam said, and I knew he didn't want to, but Annie had obviously told him it was important, and he assumed I would have told him already and Dean and I were just making up…that wasn't what was going on here in the _slightest _though, and I closed my eyes for a moment and felt Dean's eyes looking at me and I couldn't meet them.

"We'll be out in a moment!" Dean called, and got off of me. "Nice, Lana—nice trust."

"Dean, it wasn't the right time to tell you yet!" I tried and then shook my head.

Dean scoffed, grabbing his shirt. "But you told Sam!"

"No I didn't!" I told him. "I haven't told anyone! Sam knows because…because _Kate _told him. Don't look at me like that, please. I _know _from that look in your eyes that you're _really _pissed right now, but…no, just, you know what? Yell, okay? I've been hauled up with Jen because I've been feeling a bit like the dark magic affected me and I needed it, and I can't do that to the baby. I wanted to _tell _you that, but I didn't know how because you warned me against it, and I just…I did what I thought I needed to do, and I'm worried and I don't want to worry _you _anymore. Yell. Go ahead. I deserve it."

Dean opened his mouth to say something and then he just shook his head and I raised my eyebrows because I was _beyond _surprised. I had kept a _huge_ secret from him and it had repercussions, and he wasn't upset? _Why_ wasn't he upset? It was just one more thing about our communication that was wonky and that could threaten to tear us apart. So why was he just standing there and looking at me like _he_ was sorry?

"But, Dean…" I trailed off when he shook his head again and I felt the tightness in my chest and I swallowed.

He rested his hands on my shoulders and then ran them along my arms. "I have no _right_ to be upset, Lanni. I brought my brother back and signed my soul over to Hell—I'm going to _die_. Yeah, I'm a little upset _you_ didn't tell _me_, and _Kate_ told _Sam_, but let's face it—what you did was the lesser of two evils. We both brought back our younger siblings and though you need to more careful magic-wise, and I'm worried about our son…I can't be upset…I don't have that right."

"I…I don't know what to say." I admitted, smiling sadly. "Can we _please_ start making decisions together even though we sometimes feel like we can't talk about things because of your time counting down? I feel like we haven't even really given this marriage a real go, and I only have ten more months with you."

"Are you…counting down, Lanni?" Dean asked me.

I nodded and bit my lip. "I can't _not_, Dean…you're the only man I've ever let this close and I'm in love with you and I'm losing you…how I can just _ignore_ that? This sucks, Dean—I'm _far_ too young to be a widow."

"Baby, I'm sorry." Dean whispered, kissing me softly.

I just nodded into the kiss and wrapped my arms around him, glad we talked a little even though we were both feeling sad. Neither of us was in the mood anymore, and I needed to know what it was that Annie had for me, but at the same time, we just wanted to hold each other close and kiss and I liked that—I liked it a lot. Some days I just wanted to ask Dean if we could just _not_ hunt anymore…if we could just settle down and try out having a _normal_ life together—just enjoy each other's company and try to be a married couple…but then I'd remember that we'd made a mess with the door to Hell and we had to clean it up…that there was a destiny here and we couldn't just ignore it…could we?

"We should help Bobby." I whispered when Dean pulled out of the kiss and rested his forehead on mine.

Dean nodded and then kissed my forehead. "Yeah…you want to tell Sam and Kate, or should I?"

"I'll do it—Annie had something for _me_, right?" I asked him and then nodded. "Let's get ready to go first."

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

I looked up and closed my book, smiling at Sam as he came into my room and shook his head. He was running his fingers through his hair and my smile faded a little because he looked kind of miffed and upset and I hated it when he was all nervous and in a bad mood. So I got off of the bed and set the book on the bedside table, resting my hands on his shirt and smiling when he made direct eye contact with me.

"Sammy, what's wrong?" I asked him.

He took a deep breath. "I don't think Lana told Dean yet about Annie and uh…I think I just made them fight each other _again_."

"Well…okay, I love her and she's my cousin and I will _always_ be on her side—unless she's wrong—but my point is…she should have told him and they need to talk about resurrecting the girls." I explained to him shrugging. "Besides…you've been really _perfect_ about letting me be at Jen's to get over this whole dark magic thing, and I just…let them talk it out."

"Even with his time counting down?" Sam asked me, stroking my hair and kissing my forehead softly.

I nodded at him and looked him in the eye. "It's now or never, don't you think?"

"I guess." Sam admitted with a nod.

I nodded too and then I kissed him and I smiled a little when he kissed me back and wrapped his arms around me. His arms were so safe and warm and strong and I suddenly realized that I couldn't hold myself back from my desire for him any longer. It probably wasn't the right time either, but as I ran my hand down to undo Sam's pants, he didn't stop me and so I just nodded into the kiss.

"You sure?" Sam asked me as he backed us up towards my bed. "I was thinking our first time should be more romantic or something."

I laughed softly and shook my head. "It's with you so…it's as special as I wanted it to be, Sammy."

"God, I adore you." Sam said, kissing me a little harder.

"I adore you too." I whispered back.

I knew it was _far_ too early to tell each other that we loved each other, but at the same time I knew part of me wanted that. Lana had been right—I had been falling for Sam and falling for him hard and our relationship just had to unfold how it was going to unfold. I knew he loved Lana but not romantically…romantically I had only one person to compete with and she was sadly deceased…Jessica was still whole-heartedly part of him and I completely understood that.

He had planned a future with her, and he had honestly thought about marrying her and having children with her and a normal life. She had been taken from him and if she hadn't been, I wouldn't have even stood a chance with him and it was those kinds of thoughts that had stopped me before, but they weren't stopping me now? What was I even thinking? Why was I taking the relationship here before I knew where I was in his heart? Great…I was over-thinking things again while we were taking each other's clothes off…how wonderfully thought through of me.

"Kate? What's wrong?" Sam asked me, stopping immediately.

It was a little unnerving that he knew me so well and that he knew that I was thinking really hard about what we were doing. How was it that he knew me _so_ well and I knew him, but somehow we just didn't know each other at all? Sam and I had _completely_ different relationship experience and I suddenly realized right then that his relationship with me and Lana's relationship with Dean were so _very_ similar.

Lana and Sam both had that idea of a normal life in the back of their minds no matter what—Hell Lana had thought about marrying Lance before her parents had died. Then when he _did_ propose, it just wasn't the right time and he didn't want to wait, which proved that he wasn't the one for her, while Sam had Jessica violently ripped away from him. Then there was Dean and I who had that habit of not getting attached to people because hunting had always been the _real_ thrill. Then suddenly we find ourselves feeling things for these two collected people and what happens? We change—suddenly the relationship with _another_ person is important and we want to maintain it. Then again I let people in far more than Dean did because I wouldn't be able to handle this job all on my own…but still.

"I don't know, I just…I know I shouldn't bring it up, but…Jessica was your whole world and I don't know…" I just closed my eyes and shook my head as I lay there on the bed, Sam on top of me, both of us down to our under garments by now.

Sam stroked my hair. "Kate, I don't want you to worry about that."

"I know you don't, but I can't help it." I replied, shrugging a little and stroking his cheek. "I mean some day can you see yourself moving on _completely_ with me or not?"

"Yes." Sam told me nodding.

He hadn't even paused to think about it, and yet he hadn't done without _any_ hesitation. Sam Winchester was being _honest_ with me, and I couldn't help but smile and run my hands along his pecks, running my fingers along his skin. When he leaned down and pressed his lips softly back to mine, I just kissed him back and ran my hands down to his boxers, grunting in annoyance when knuckles rapped on the door.

"Sorry if I'm interrupting, but I need what Annie gave you for me." Lana said through the door.

I made a face and Sam kissed my lips swiftly then answered, "It's a note."

"All right, well, Dean and I are packed—Bobby called and wants our help. You guys mind?" Lana asked and I sighed and shook my head.

"We'll be there in ten minutes." Sam replied, and then he kissed me softly and rested his forehead on mine. "We'll have more 'us' time, soon—promise."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I felt a little bad about kind of ruining Sam's and Kate's time together, but at the same time, we needed to see what Bobby needed. All Annie had left me was a note, and when we got to Bobby's, he asked how the baby was, and I answered that the baby was just fine. Then he asked how I was doing magic-wise, and I owned up about resurrecting the girls and he got mad at me. I had to smile though—it was a fatherly mad and it was the kind of chastising support that I needed…the kind of fatherly attention I had been craving since my adopted parents had been murdered.

"You have to be more careful, Lana." Bobby chastised, resting his hand on my stomach and then kissing my forehead. "This recklessness isn't healthy."

I nodded and smiled, resting my hand on his. "I know, I know—I just couldn't be without them. They're my family and I need them."

"Like Dean couldn't be without Sam?" Bobby asked me, raising his eyebrows and sending me a look.

"To be fair, _my_ bringing the girls back had _nothing_ to do with selling my soul or limiting my time on earth." I said, finger in the air.

Bobby nodded and chuckled a little. "All right…it's true."

"Thanks guys. I feel _so_ much better about everything." Dean told us.

I took his hand, and leaned into him a little. "Sorry. Now let's work on the Colt."

"You, Lana, are actually going to be working on something else I need." Bobby said and turned around to grab a laptop for me.

"I don't do special favors for anyone but Dean." I joked and winked.

Bobby rolled his eyes as Dean nudged me. "Do this."

Bobby handed me the laptop, and Dean covered my mouth with his hand as a dirty, sarcastic reply came to my mind and I sighed—Dean knew me too well and my reply was funny. Dean removed his hand and I sat down and opened it up, nodding—of course it was about crossroad deals. I got to research? What about Sam? What about Kate? What were _they_ going to do? Well I could think of a few things, actually…

"I'll be back." Sam said as I thought that. "Kate and I are going to check on a few things."

I looked up as they left the room hurriedly and I laughed—they really couldn't get away from us and it was adorable. Bobby and Dean started working on the Colt as Dean smirked at Sam and Kate, noticing the same looks on their faces that I had noticed, both of them trying to figure out how to make bullets that would work since we had been out since Dean shot Yellow-Eyes.

"You know…I never asked Mom what Dad's name was." I said suddenly, thinking about everything that had happened.

Dean looked over. "Never?"

I shook my head. "Never."

"Is that what you're researching?" Dean asked me, raising his eyebrows in confusion.

"No…Bobby wanted me to research but it was boring, so now I'm all surfing the web and thinking about things." I answered honestly. "I'm also a little horny."

Bobby cleared his throat. "How about you work a little more and talk a little less?"

"Too much talk and not enough action." I said making a face.

Dean sighed and nodded in agreement with me. "We should have had sex before we came—we _really_ should have."

"You didn't?" Bobby asked us. "You made me sit through that awkward conversation and then you didn't follow through?"

"We got in a fight." I said, sighing loudly and shrugging.

Bobby sighed too. "You guys don't have time for fights."

"Thanks for reminding me, Bobby." I said, and looked at the laptop.

Bobby was going to say something but Dean shook his head, and I rested one hand on my stomach, and I started working quietly and efficiently after Bobby had apologized for the way he said what he'd said, and then I started to mull things over a little. If we could get Dean out of his deal, then all of this fighting was for nothing. If there was even a slight possible chance that Dean could be saved from going to Hell, then why get on his case about everything he was avoiding? I should be good to my husband. Seize the day. Ignore everything and give him terrific "last months" so that when Sam and I got him out of it, there was no ruined marriage at the end.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

"Kate, isn't a motel kind of tacky?" Sam asked me, grabbing my hand and making me stop as I went to open up the room with the motel key.

I turned to him and looked him in the eye, stepping up close to him and taking a hold of his jacket with my hands. All I wanted was to reach a new level of intimacy with Sam—even if we hadn't reached 'love' yet…well at least even if _he_ hadn't. Sam had more to overcome as far as that was concerned than I did, and I just wanted him to know that I was here for him and that I wanted to be with him in every sense.

Yeah, at first I had wanted some big, perfect, romantic gesture, but honestly? Honestly I just wanted _Sam_, and that was enough for me right now, and I knew that no matter what happened, _Sam_ was enough for me. Even though I was _utterly_ and _completely_ falling in love with him and I didn't know how close to that same feeling that he was with me, I just wanted to be near him.

"I just want to spend some time with you." I admitted with a shrug.

He nodded and kissed me softly, letting me open up the motel room, and heading into it with me. There was research to be done and we both knew it, but at the same time I caught the look in his eyes when he caught that there was just one double bed…and him and me. I watched him take off his jacket and then I sat on the couch and opened up my laptop, looking at some crossroads stuff and smiling when Sam sat down next to me.

Sam kissed my cheek and then my shoulder, looking over at my research and pointing out some things—keeping his brother alive was his top priority. Honestly, I wanted Dean to be around for a lot longer too…if not just for Sam, but for Lana and her baby too. Still, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't _completely_ on board with Sam starting to slide his fingers under my shirt and I closed the laptop.

"We have time…" I offered, smiling when he kissed me.

I nodded into the kiss and then pulled back, and went to the bed, sitting on it and kicking off my socks and shoes as Sam pulled his shirt off. Honestly every time I saw those abs and the way sometimes his pecks bounced, I couldn't help but just let out a little pleased noise because he just looked…good enough to eat. Sam smiled at me and pressed his lips to mine after I pulled my shirt off too, me laughing a little and lying back on the bed.

He slid my pants off and then his, both of us just removing clothes until there was nothing else to remove. Then he just kissed me softly, but there was an intensity behind it that held a promise with it and I needed that…felt like this was incredibly _perfect_, and I opened my mouth a little as Sam ran his fingers lazily along my inner thigh. Sam definitely had some experience under his belt and so did I, but we both seemed to agree without words that this was going to be slow and sweet.

Honestly, I couldn't have asked for anything more—he was handling me with such care and respect and I appreciated him for that. There was really no talk, even when I felt him push his flesh inside of mine and moved against me with new intent and I rolled my hips up to meet him at the same pace. It was almost natural for us, and the fact that he murmured my name at his release warmed my heart and I realized that I was doomed—that he meant too much for me and I didn't want him to leave…ever.

"How was it?" Sam puffed out with a chuckle as he pulled out, both of us feeling definitely more bonded.

I smiled and kissed him softly as we resituated under the covers. "Perfect."

"I'm glad." Sam replied, kissing me back. "I'm really glad."

"We're totally supposed to be researching." I said laughing.

Sam nodded and just held me, running his fingers through my hair as he laid on his back, me resting my head on his chest. I ran my fingers along his pecks and traced shapes in his sweat, kissing his chest softly and then propping myself up to look at him. He stroked my cheek and cupped my face and just smiled at me, completely calm and I was _so_ glad that he looked _happy_…I _loved_ him happy.

"You know, eventually, we're going to have to either rotate the motel room or get our own because I'm hoping that happens again—in different ways." I said, winking at him.

Sam laughed and rolled his eyes, kissing me softly. "This will happen as many times as you want it to happen, Baby."

"Good." I replied, kissing him back. "But sadly…we have some research to do."

**Note: I hope you liked that chapter and you enjoyed the different facets of all of the characters! Also, I hope you enjoyed the bits that were in Kate's POV, because I **_**love**_** her and Sammy. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	57. Lana and Sam Share a Destiny

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This **_**also**_** switches between Kate's and Lana's POVs, and also has Dean's POV every once in a while, and it's pretty long, but eh, I hope you guys like it.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"Hey!" Sam said, coming in the room with papers.

Dean looked up from his Colt piece. "Hey, what's up?"

"Might have found some omens in Ohio. Dry lightning. Barometric-pressure drop." Sam explained shrugging.

"Well, that's thrilling." Dean answered with a chuckle.

I looked up as Sam held the papers up and then I caught Kate looking at him and I smiled even more. There was definitely something going on between them and it was so _obvious_ to me and I really couldn't help but make an outburst. Honestly it probably wasn't the _best_ time to bring it up, but the words were spilling out of my mouth before I could stop them…my bad.

"You guys totally did it." I said, laughing as I caught the way that Kate was smiling at Sam so fondly.

Honestly I didn't know how nobody could notice the glow that the two had—it was that look between them. It was how you could just _tell_ that they were _so_ much closer now and I was so glad that they had each other. They were perfect as far as I was concerned, and after everything they'd both been through, they deserved _so_ much happiness and I was glad they could find it in each other.

Dean looked up at them again and he chuckled. "Yeah, and from the rosy cheeks they're now sporting, I'm in violent agreement with you, Lanni."

"Way to pry into someone else's business." Kate told me, giving me a look, but I knew she wasn't upset I spilled.

"God, it's like I'm surrounded by horny teenagers." Bobby said, shaking his head.

"Some guy blows his head off in a church and another goes postal in a hobby shop before the cops take him out." Sam said, trying to change the subject. "Might be demonic omens."

"Or it could just be a suicide and a psycho scrap booker." Dean replied, smiling at Kate running her fingers through her hair. "Lanni and I wish you both the very best on _all_ of your sexual endeavors in the past."

My jaw dropped. "DEAN!"

"What?" Dean asked me, looking at me and making a face when Kate punched him in the shoulder. "We _do_, don't we?"

I laughed a little. "You're a terrible person—_this _is why Santa doesn't visit you at Christmastime. I think San has found us our best lead since Lincoln, you have to admit."

"Where in Ohio?" Dean asked Sam.

Dean turned back to his brother, Sam and Kate still sporting blushes about me making their situation worse and though I felt bad, I liked them all cute and standing close to each other. Besides, it was time to do a hunt and though I knew I couldn't fight, I knew that it was about time that we did some more cleaning up. That, and when they were actually hunting whatever it was down, I could research how to get Dean out of his deal.

"Elizabethville. It's a half-dead factory town in the Rust Belt." Sam answered Dean.

"There's got to be a demon or two in South Beach." Dean said and then sent me a look when I tossed a book at him. "Maybe I was kidding?"

"Sorry, hef. Maybe next time. How's it going, Bobby?" Sam asked Bobby, trying to bring him into the conversation _without_ it being awkward for him.

Bobby looked up from the Colt. "Slow."

"I tell you, it's a little sad seeing the Colt like that." Dean said shaking his head as Kate agreed with him.

"The only thing it's good for now is figuring out what makes it tick." Bobby added with a nod as I caught the book that I had thrown as Dean tossed it back gently.

"So, what makes it tick?" Sam asked, and I laughed when Bobby gave him a weird look.

"So, if we want to go check out these omens in Ohio, you think you can have that thing ready by this afternoon?" Dean asked Bobby, and Sam and I smiled as Kate laughed softly, all of us enjoying torturing Bobby a little.

He was the Dad that none of us had really had—John was always hunting and pushing Sam and Dean away even though he loved them dearly and was proud of them, my father was a yellow-eyed demonic bastard and though I had an adopted father who loved me, our time together was never incredibly long and then he was murdered, and though Kate had her biological father around, she and him weren't close. It was nice that he knew that we loved him, and yet he knew that if we didn't make his life kind of hard, then we weren't showing him that he meant _worlds_ to us 'horny teenagers'.

Bobby gave him a look. "Well, it won't kill demons by then, but I can promise you it'll kill you."

"As fun as that sounds, I need the hubby, so…" I said, getting up and shutting Bobby's laptop, setting it down next to him. "I'll take them out of your hair and I promise no more talking about going at it like rabbits."

"Believe her—her word is more truthful than theirs." Kate told Bobby, laughing when Sam shot her a look and then grinned at her.

"Alright, come on, we're wasting the daylight." Dean told us, rolling his eyes at their displays of affection.

Sam nodded at him. "See you, Bobby."

"Hey," Bobby said, and we all turned around. "You guys run into anything…anything…you call me."

I smiled at him. "We will."

"And don't let her fight." Bobby added pointing to me.

"I won't." Dean told him, and I smacked his arm. "What? I'm not gonna let you fight anything."

I rolled my eyes and we headed out to get ready to go investigate, me getting dressed first. Kate got dressed while Sam did, and as Dean pulled his jacket on, I went over to him and he smirked at me. There was a lot to talk about, and we _always_ picked the playful moments to be as close to each other as possible—as _honest_ with each other as possible, no matter what.

"So if I bribe you with special favors?" I asked Dean, tying his tie for him, in a killer outfit and heels, my hair even done.

"I still wouldn't let you 1) go out looking like that, and 2) investigate out in the open where you can get hurt." He replied nodding.

I sighed. "If I satisfied you right now, and then this afternoon, and then this evening?"

"Tempting…but no." Dean said seriously considering it.

I shrugged at him. "Fine…then I'm still going to help investigate, and you're just _not_ getting any special favors. Simple as that."

"Okay, that is not fair. You are my wife." Dean protested giving me a look.

"A wife who apparently isn't giving you any special favors." Sam said with a laugh. "You look really good today, Lan."

I smiled and nodded. "Why thank you, Sammy."

"Pregnancy is treating you well. The bit that's showing is actually adding to how beautiful you look right now." Sam said, touching my stomach.

Dean made a face. "Why don't you just go at it in front of me?"

I rolled my eyes and Sam did the same, only stopped touching me. "Oh, Sammy, I want you so bad, even with your girlfriend standing right there laughing at how _ridiculous_ we sound right now."

"Oh, Lanni, let me take you now even though I have _no_ romantic interest in you because I'm falling for Kate." Sam replied, and we both started laughing and I slipped my arms around Dean's neck.

"You, need to trust me more. Aren't you asking me to trust _you_ more all the time?" I asked Dean, giving him a look.

Dean sighed and I kissed him, smiling and nibbling on his lip a little. He gave me a look, and I giggled a little, shrugging, Kate telling us to get a room as she brushed lint off of Sam's jacket. I just smiled at that and then I stroked Dean's cheek and I shrugged against because he was still giving me a look for the lip nibble.

"I offered special favors and you turned them down." I reminded him. "This isn't _my_ fault."

Dean gave me another look. "I want them back, Lanni."

"All right…but only because I love you and want to perform special favors and you're the only one I can really perform them for." I said, laughing when he narrowed his eyes a little.

"You know I'd threaten to take _my_ special favors away from _you_, but you can hold out and I most certainly can't." Dean admitted.

As true as I knew that was, at the same time I knew that I yearned for him as much as he yearned for me. Sure, I could hold out longer in anger, or just to prove my point, but honestly I would never _want_ to. Still, this was about a hunt and not really about us, as cute as he was right there, taking all of my playful insults and knowing I was kidding—we just knew each other like that, and I liked these moments.

"So let's go have a lot of fun, okay? I mean as much fun as people that pretend to be insurance people can have. I'd rather just satisfy you." I said with a sigh.

Dean frowned. "Stop talking about it. I don't enjoy being teased—especially by my own wife, when I know exactly what she can do to me to make me—"

"—yeah, you two are done." Sam said, Kate nodding in violent agreement. "Let's go."

So we headed out into the town where the events took place that had brought us here in the first place, and headed into the church. Kate and I were pretty sure we could have done this ourselves, but Sam and Dean wanted in the thick of it and that was just how it _had_ to be, apparently. Amazingly enough, we didn't even fight them on it, we just decided to do this the four of us and I was still feeling playful.

"You know, the angels are probably watching over us even here." I whispered to Dean, wiggling my eyebrows. "Guess we shouldn't have sex in the church."

Dean groaned a little. "Damn. I'm enjoying the way you're moving in that outfit."

"Guys." Sam whispered, shooting us looks. "Cut it out."

"We're in a _church_…that means _eternal damnation_!" Kate explained to us. "That means you two? _No_ sex in a church!"

Dean and I just laughed and then we came face to the face with the priest and started talking to him. We were here on business and as playful as I wanted to be, this was serious and we needed to do our _jobs_. Besides, it was fairly important that we act like we were professionals, or the priest would see right through us and we wouldn't get _any _of the information out of him that we needed to solve this case.

"There's not much left for the insurance company." The priest told us. "It was a suicide. I saw it myself."

"Well, this shouldn't take long, then." Dean replied with a nod.

The priest nodded and pointed to a spot in the church. "That's where Andy did it. It's the first time I'd seen him in weeks. He used to come every Sunday."

"When did he stop?" Sam asked him.

"Probably about two months ago. Right around the time everything else started to change." The priest explained.

I nodded at that wording. "Change how?"

"Oh, let's just say this used to be a town you could be proud of. People…cared about each other. Andy sang in the choir, and then one day, he just…wasn't Andy anymore. It was like he was…" The priest trailed off.

"Possessed?" Kate asked him.

"You could say that. Gambled away his money, cheated on his wife, destroyed his business. Yes. Like a switch had flipped." The priest admitted, but something was off about him…he seemed…demonic.

Honestly I was a little peeved that I wasn't getting the vibes I used to get before I was pregnant. It used to be so clear to me, and then I came back and it felt even clearer for the first bit—like I could sense them because _I_ had demon blood in me too. I was demonic, and so in turn I could sense them, but all I was getting here was a fleeting sense that we couldn't trust this guy, and this dull pain in my abdomen.

Sam nodded at him. "Father, did you know the man who killed those folks in the hobby shop?"

"Sure, Tony Perkins." The priest told us.

"Tony Perkins." I repeated, writing it down on a notepad.

The priest smiled a little. "Good man."

"Would you say that his personality suddenly changed one day, too?" Sam asked him.

The priest pondered that a moment. "I never thought about it that way, but…yes. About the same time as Andy…about two months ago."

"Well, thank you, Father." Dean intervened. "Appreciate your time."

I flashed him my best 'Lana smile', and we turned to leave, Kate glancing at him again. Kate didn't trust him either, but he was so well put together—almost like he was trained. Still, if Kate thought that he was a demon than I was agreeing with her, no questions asked at this point. There was something weird going on here and I wanted to know _what_.

"Two months ago, we open up the devil's gate, all of a sudden this town turns into Margaritaville? It's no coincidence." Sam pointed out.

Dean nodded at him. "I think you're right."

"Sam, there's something I wanted to check out with Dean. We'll meet up with you and Kate at the car, all right?" I asked him, and dragged Dean off behind some pillars.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked me.

I silenced him with a passionate kiss though, and he welcomed it happily, fingers slipping into my hair automatically. We kissed there for a moment or two before my hands slipped down to his belt and he broke the kiss for a moment. He had this look on his face and I just shrugged at him because it was kind of obvious what I was doing so why was he even thinking about asking me?

"Okay…what are you doing?" Dean asked me.

I raised my eyebrows. "Getting your pants off?"

"What if the priest shows up?" Dean asked, underlying happiness in his voice.

"Be a man of the moment, Dean. Your wife is partitioning you for a fantastic quickie in a church." I explained, wiggling my eyebrows.

Dean chuckled, and nodded, both of us being quiet, but getting the task done that we had wanted to accomplish. Honestly it was kind of a rush to do something we totally weren't supposed to do, but I figured why not try new things? I would _never _have offered before, but with Dean's clock ticking, I figured I should get _just _as much out of this as him…it wasn't like I was moving on when he was gone…I was far too invested.

I fixed his tie afterwards and he smoothed down my skirt, and I giggled a little. "Think we'll get struck down by lightning for that?"

"We kept most of our clothes on." Dean reminded me, kissing my forehead.

I laughed and nodded. "That should get us at least one vote of non damnation."

Dean laughed a little and then I kissed him softly, both of us wanting the moment to last longer than we knew it was going to. We smiled at each other when we pulled away, our terrible deed already done and enjoyed, and we headed out to the Impala. Kate shook her head at us and then laughed about it, Sam giving us both looks.

"So…what took you twenty minutes?" Sam asked us.

I shrugged and smiled. "Eternal damnation."

"You didn't." Sam told us. "Lana!"

"I just couldn't control the ungodly urges." I told him, and laughed as Dean wiggled his eyebrows.

"I do so love when she can't control her urges." Dean said as Kate laughed even louder.

She looked at us. "Honestly, I hope to someday be as adorable and yet as vomit-inducing as you two with _my_ significant other."

"You've already made it there." Dean replied, he and Kate sharing playful glares and then laughing as Sam protested.

I got into the backseat with Kate as Dean got into the driver's seat and Dean and I laughed a little as Sam shook his head at us. I wanted to talk to Annie, Jen and Kalli—wanted to figure out how the spell for the rune was going, but I needed to focus on the here and the now and so I kept my hands off of my laptop all the way to the motel room, us going into the room, me quite loving the mirrors on the ceilings.

"Wow. I look pregnant from a bird's eye view." I said happily.

Dean nodded at me. "Good thing you're actually pregnant, huh?"

"Yeah, cause otherwise you'd just be fat." Kate told me, placing her hand on my stomach lovingly. "I'm so _loving_ that you're showing more because I want to feel this kid kick soon."

I smiled at that and nodded in agreement with as a man came out of a room in front of ours and Dean squinted a little, and then smiled. Kate's eyes were fixed on him a large chested blonde that came out of his room and I had a feeling I wasn't going to like the answer to my unasked questions.

"Richie?" Dean asked the man.

I raised an eyebrow. "Richie who?"

Dean didn't answer me though as Richie said, "This is my sister."

Dean obviously knew this Richie character, and I nodded as he gave the blonde the cash—prostitute if I ever saw one. Honestly it was bad enough that Dean used to run around giving it away and that men just tended to do that, but to _pay _for sex? Why? I mean sure it got you laid when you apparently couldn't get it any other way, but I just never understood that.

"Well…step-sister." Richie told us with a smirk.

Dean nodded at him. "Come on in."

I set my bags down on one of the motel beds as Richie came in, Kate deciding _not_ to flip me for it. It seemed these days that sometimes my seniority didn't matter so much and I had to flip her for which bed I wanted. Right now though, Dean had an old friend visiting us and she just wanted _a_ bed—besides as long as we each had our Winchester, we didn't really care _where_ we slept…even if I still wanted the bed I picked…

"Richie, this is my younger brother, Sam, his girlfriend, Kate, and this is Lana." Dean told him, introducing us all.

Richie definitely seemed to take a liking to Kate first and she just pushed some red hair behind her ear and made a face. Besides, Dean had thrown in 'Sam's girlfriend', and Richie seemed to not want to even have to deal with that—he had nothing against Sam anyway. Dean was about to cut in and tell Richie I was his wife, but Richie's manwhoreishness kicked in and it was honestly only a matter of time.

"Well, well, well, how can you work when you have a baby coming?" Richie asked me, and I realized then, I was looked more pregnant than I had thought. "Isn't there some moral clause for that?"

I laughed and nodded. "There's _definitely_ a moral clause."

"She's not a prostitute, Richie." Dean said, and I smiled—he was going to get rewarded for being protective and standing up for me.

Richie looked a little embarrassed. "Sorry, Doll."

"It's fine. For some reason I just look easy hanging out with them." I told him.

"So…why are you two with them?" Richie asked us. "I mean two beautiful girls…not prostitutes…"

Dean looked at him, me helping him out of his tie. "Lana's my wife, Kate is Sam's girlfriend as I said before, and they're damn good hunters."

Richie looked stunned. "You married a pregnant woman?"

Dean rolled his eyes and Richie laughed, and I took my hair down and started taking the earrings out of my ears. Kate just started laughing, knowing that if she just gave her last name away Richie would step down, and so she decided to give it a go. She liked her fame in the hunting world, and she wanted Richie to show her some respect—girl loved a good laugh, but she also loved being given the respect she deserved.

"I'm Kate Newman." Kate told Richie, holding her hand out to him.

Richie's eyes widened. "No…really? For some reason I didn't think Kate Newman, hunting badass would be this…hot."

"Thank you." Kate told him.

"_So_ hot." Richie added, Sam getting defensive and protective and clearing his throat.

Kate and I both looked at him, Dean chuckling a little to himself and honestly I felt perfect right then. None of us had a thing against Richie, but the fact that he threw Sam into protective-mode just made everything clear for me: Sam was in love with her. He might not admit it yet, or he might not know how to say it to Kate yet, but he did…and he did _not_ like having men look at her like she was just some piece of meat.

"So how do you two know each other?" Sam asked out loud to change the subject.

"You were in school." Dean answered with a nod.

"It was that succubus thing right?" Richie added.

Dean smirked a little. "Yeah, yeah."

"Oh, man. You should have seen the rack on this broad. Freakin' tragedy when I had to gank her." Richie said and I rolled my eyes, and went into the bathroom to change, listening through the door.

"Whoa, whoa. Wait. _Who_ killed her? If I remember, your ass was toast until I showed up." Dean told him.

"Oh, I forgot what a comedian this guy was." Richie said, and I laughed because it was obvious he was talking about Dean.

"Richie, Richie, you know it. I told you then; I'll tell you again: You're not cut out for this job. You're gonna get yourself killed." Dean said, and then a phone rang.

"Talk to me." Richie said, so I figured it was his phone. "FYI, Winchester…words hurt. Yeah." He told the person on the phone. "No, it's not a good time, Baby. Later."

I laughed again, and came out of the bathroom in a different shirt, Dean nodding approvingly. If I was going to have to stay behind and do some more research, I wanted out of the business clothes, and into something more comfortable to just lounge around in and the t-shirt was already doing it for me, now to search my duffle for some jeans…

"You find anything in this town, anyway?" Dean asked Richie.

Richie shook his head. "Uh, no. I got nothing. Oh, wait a minute. You mean as in demons and whatnot?"

"Yeah…" Dean said nodding, hoping he had something.

"No, I got nothing." Richie replied.

Dean nodded and smiled. "Typical. What about your sister back there?"

Richie smirked. "Honestly, she definitely had the devil in her, but she wasn't no demon, you know what I'm saying?"

I chortled to myself, and then smiled at Dean as he reached out and rested his hand on my hip. He was being so sweet, and he was marking his territory, and I loved it, finding some new socks to go with my jeans, and searched my bag for my tennis shoes. Then Kate and I went to share the bathroom and change, the boys still talking as we got more comfortable without having to change in front of Richie, listening to them through the door because this hunt was important.

"Right. Seriously. Church guy, hobby shop guy… they were lunch meat by the time I got there. Maybe they were possessed, but I can't prove it." Richie explained to Sam and Dean.

"Yeah, that's where we are, too." Sam intervened. "You know, let's just say that demons are possessing people in this town. You know, raising hell."

I nodded as I came out of the bathroom. "Yeah…but why would a demon blow his brains out? I mean what's the motive?"

"Well, for fun." Richie answered me shrugging. "You know, he wrecks one body, moves to another. You know, like taking a stolen car for a joyride."

"Anybody else in town that fits the profile?" Dean asked him. "You know, nice guy turned douche that's still breathing?"

"There's Trotter." Richie answered.

"Who's that?" Kate asked as she came out of the bathroom brushing her hair.

Richie looked at her. "Well, he used to be head of the rotary club…and then, people say he turned bastard all of a sudden. Brought in the gambling, the hookers. He practically owns this whole town."

"You know where we could find him?" Sam asked him.

"He'll be at his bar in a few hours." Richie answered nodding.

I smiled and pulled my hair back in a ponytail. "Fantastic. Let's go hang out at yet another bar."

"You sure you're married to Dean?" Richie asked me, noting my sarcasm at wanting to hang out at a bar—I didn't. "I'm just not really believing this guy is settling down."

I smiled at Dean who smiled back at me. "This one lets me do him in churches."

Richie whistled. "Wild one?"

"Are you flirting with my wife?" Dean asked him, looking at him and holding my hand as he sat on the bed and I stood next to him.

"Well I mean if she's not happy in her loveless marriage…" Richie tried with a wink.

I rolled my eyes. "I think that just the fact that I'm _pregnant_ means there's love in my marriage."

"Or at least the fact that I'm excited to be a Dad means there's love in our marriage." Dean added, looking back at me. "I mean I've seen her with her nose running and after a hunt when she's all sweaty and smells a little ripe—"

"—but not as ripe as you." I said with a laugh.

Dean nodded and grinned. "But even though, I've also seen her face when she's worried about me, and I know what her lip bites mean, and what beats beneath that _beautiful_ rack of hers."

I gasped and smacked his arm with my free hand. "Dean Winchester!"

Dean shrugged as he laughed. "What? That was a compliment."

Richie held his hands up in surrender. "I get it—you two really are in love. Just last time I saw him he said he'd never settle down…sorry I hit on your wife, Dean."

"He'll get over it." I said, tucking hair behind my ear. "He knows he has nothing to worry about…and I'm glad I changed his mind."

Dean and I smiled at each other and I scrunched my nose up playfully at him, him realizing he was doing that 'vomit-inducing' thing Kate was acussing us of earlier. Richie noticed too and parted ways with us for right then, telling us he'd meet up with us later, and the four of us kind of just settled into the motel. Dean and Sam changed and then Sam kissed Kate and I leaned against Dean as he stroked my hair, him noting the look on my face and nodding.

"Kate and I need to talk a bit, but I'm _super _hungry." I explained to him.

Dean sighed and nodded. "Fine—Sam and I will go grab the four of us something to eat and then come back."

"Perfect plan." I told him smiling.

"Cheeseburger, please?" Kate asked Sam.

Sam nodded and kissed her softly. "Anything for you."

I shook my head at Dean when he opened his mouth to make a remark, and he just shut his yap and then he and Sam left the room. Kate nodded at me and sat on hers and Sam's bed, both of us aware of what we needed to talk about, but at the same time not really wanting to. It was just one more thing to leave Sam and Dean in the dark about because it involved magic, and though they needed to know, Kate and I didn't want to be talked out of _anything_…_especially_ when it involved our past.

"We need to activate the rune when we're done with this." I said softly.

She nodded as I sat down next to her and took my hand. "I know…are you as freaked out about it as me?"

"Yeah." I admitted nodding quickly. "I'm afraid of what we're going to find out, you know? I, uh, also…remember our plan for it?"

"Lanni…are you going to admit to something I'm going to be pissed about?" Kate asked me, both of us making eye contact.

I shrugged and took a breath. "I was worried about Jenny so I convinced her to let _me_ take the rune."

Kate nodded and we both sat there in silence for a little while and I relaxed because she actually _wasn't_ mad at me—not in the slightest. We both knew that whomever wanted the rune was going to go to any and all lengths to get it, and we didn't want Jen or Kaydence and Minah to be in that crossfire. This wasn't about us—we had Sam and Dean to protect us—this was about the safety of Jen's family.

"I'm upset with myself though because it could potentially put Sam and Dean in danger and they need to know about it." I told her shaking my head. "It was a decision that I made without him…before we made that pact but…he should still know."

Kate nodded slowly. "Yeah…but not yet. I think its okay for us to keep this between us for now because we're doing a whole other hunt here and this was for the best. This rune is _our _responsibility, and we're the ones most capable to protect it…let's tell the boys later, okay? Just not now."

"I'm freaking, Kate." I admitted to her, biting my lip. "I'm afraid that my son's going to end up evil…I _hate _that my son's going to be evil."

"Not with us for parents." Dean said, he and Sam having entered the room again.

I smiled at him sadly. "We can hope, right?"

xxxx

"I want to go to the bar with you." I told Sam and Dean.

Dean sighed loudly but nodded. "Fine, but if we get a lead, you're coming back to this room and staying here where you're safe and our son doesn't have to put up force fields to try and protect himself and his mother."

I pulled a jacket on, smiling as Dean helped adjust it, pushing my hair back. I took the moment to kiss him softly, and he returned it, both of us _purely_ invested in the kiss and in each other. We pulled away and he brushed my bangs out of my face, before we headed on off to check out the town. We observed people for a bit, and I tried to get a good feel on people—weed out some demons…it was working better for Kate.

"I thought you said this was some boarded-up factory town." Dean told Sam.

Sam nodded. "It is. At least, it's supposed to be."

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's do some research." Dean said smirking.

He rubbed his hands together and I rolled my eyes as he checked out some girls walking by, then we went past a limousine with a scantily clad woman in it, and Dean retraced his steps, Sam going back to grab him, and me saying his name sternly. Kate smacked him in the arm and he shot her a look, but their friendship was unmistakable and I smiled at them—it was like me and Sam. We made it to Trotter's bar, and walked on in, looking around, Richie coming over to us.

"Oh, Richie. Look at you." Dean exclaimed seeing his shirt.

"Hey." Richie greeted us.

"Bringing satin back?" Dean asked him raising his eyebrows.

Richie looked at him. "Oh, you like this? Try Thai silk…Canal Street. You have to pay $300 for threads like these, easy. Cost to me…forget about it."

"How much is 'forget about it'?" Sam asked him, smiling as I looked around.

"Ah, forget about it." Richie smirked. "That's Trotter over there." He said, pointing to a table. "He sits there all night. Can't touch him."

"So, what do we do now?" Kate asked them. "I assume we can't just walk on over and start discussing business."

"I don't know about you guys," Dean replied, "but I'm gonna do a little investigating with that bartender."

I rolled my eyes. "Strictly business?"

"Easy. Me and her, we got a little some-some lined up for later." Richie said smiling.

"Yeah, right." Dean answered, all of us genuinely agreeing with Dean here.

Richie beamed at him. "Stings, don't it? Alright. I got to hit the head. Release the hostages. Be back in a few. And don't forget that if he strays, I'm around." Richie told me, winking. "That goes for you too, Red."

I was pretty sure that Kate was _not_ enjoying her new nickname and Sam shot him a look as he headed out. Honestly I was glad he and the bartender had something lined up because I _hated_ when Dean went into his flirt mode. I loved him, and I wanted him to have fun, but the _shameless_ flirting was starting to annoy me—even though he hardly did it anymore…it wasn't _completely_ eradicated from him yet.

"Stop hitting on my wife, Richie!" Dean called after him, and then he turned to Sam. "No way he gets a girl like that. I mean, look at her. You could fit that ass on a nickel."

"You think so?" The priest asked us.

Dean turned to him. "Oh. Sorry, Padre."

"Knew you boys would find your way here." He mused nodding. "They all do."

"No offense, but…what are you doing here, Father?" Sam asked him.

The priest nodded. "Like it or not, you go where your flock is."

"Plus, the clergy drinks for free." The bartender added filling a glass.

He nodded again. "True…and a certain bartender owes me a confession."

"Not in this lifetime, Father." She answered him before taking a drink.

"I better see your butt on Sunday." He told her before getting up to leave. "Nickel or no nickel." He added to Sam and Dean.

"What can I get you boys? Anything for you?" She asked us.

"What's your specialty?" Dean asked her.

She smiled at his interest. "I make a mean hurricane."

"I guess we'll see about that." Dean told her.

"You most popular beer is good." Kate said smiling.

"I'll just have water, thanks." I replied and the bartender nodded and walked away.

Sam gave Dean a look. "You drink hurricanes?"

Dean chuckled. "I do now."

I rolled my eyes. "You have absolutely _no_ shame. What would you do if I wasn't here? Bang her right on the bar?"

"I'm just doing some harmless flirting, Lanni." Dean said, stroking my hair. "She is _not _as beautiful and talented and she's not carrying my son. You know I love _you_, right?"

"I know you love sex and hot girls." I replied, though I smiled at him. "I can't see why _Sam_ can't be the one to flirt more often. _You're_ married."

Kate shook my shoulder a little. "Over there—the pool game."

I looked over too and before I could do anything about it, Reggie, one of the guys at the pool table, pulled out a gun and shot the other guy, Joe. Dean pinned Reggie to the floor before he could commit suicide, and Reggie explained that Joe was sleeping with his wife after Sam threw Holy Water on him. He wasn't possessed…he was just hurt and pissed and he didn't know what else to do and had panicked.

"Call 911." Sam called out, and we both looked over to see Trotter watching us.

xxxx

A little while later, the cops picked Reggie up, and I started to feel a little antsy because of all of the attention the boys were getting. All of the cops around was a little dangerous for the boys, and on top of it all, I wasn't in tune with my senses, which was _really_ starting to bug me. Being pregnant was making me 'hunting-challenged', which I didn't appreciate at all…it just made me feel even _more_ useless here.

"Too many cops here." Sam told us in a low voice. "I say we roll."

"Just be cool. Poor jerk." Dean said as we watched them take Reggie away. "Only thing possessing him was a sixer of Pabst."

I sighed loudly. "So, what's the deal, then? People in this town getting possessed or not?"

"I don't know. Maybe it is just what it is…town full of scumbags." Dean offered shrugging.

"I _really _don't think it's just scumbags…this has _demon _written _all _over it." Kate said shaking her head and looking around.

By this point we all knew that it was time to trust in Kate—that Kate knew her demons and she knew how to take care of herself. Still, there was room for more investigation and we just smiled when one of the police officer's came over to us. He looked like he meant business, and that wasn't really reassuring for me in the slightest.

"You boys ready for your mug shots?" A police officer asked them as he came over. "The photographer's gonna be here in a few and take your picture for the local paper."

"Be an honor, officer. What a thrill!" Dean answered, and the officer walked away and I made a face.

"Yep, time to go." I said smiling.

Dean nodded and then looked around. "Wait a second. Wait a second."

"What?" Sam asked him.

"Where's Richie?" Dean asked looking around.

I shrugged and avoided eye contact with him. "Hooking up with the bartender?"

Dean gave me a look and I gave him one too. "You're kind of hot when you're jealous."

I raised an eyebrow. "I'm just jealous when I'm jealous—and I'm not jealous! I just don't see why you get to flirt with random girls, and I can't flirt with anyone without you giving me the angry eye—can I flirt with the guy playing pool?"

"No." Dean said, stepping closer to me. "I'll tone it down, I promise. Sometimes my downstairs brain run away with me and I'm sorry and you don't deserve it, all right? You want to get rid of me?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "I want you all to myself, Dean Winchester, but we both have to stop being so selfish. You're my husband, and I love you more than life itself, but you have limited time left here, and I want you to feel like you went out the way you _wanted_ to go out."

Dean kissed me. "I _want_ to go out with _you_."

"You're _married_ to me—you have the going out with me covered." I joked, a grin spreading from ear to ear.

He smiled at me. "You know what I meant."

I nodded and smiled too. "Yeah I do. Thank you for that, Baby."

Dean rested his hand on my stomach, stroking it with his thumb, and then he sat down at the bar to order a few drinks, the hot bartender not there. I kept getting lemon water, and then I felt a twinge in my stomach and got up making a face. Something was up and I didn't know what was happening, but my stomach hurt and I knew it had to do with the baby and I needed to take care of it with minimum freak-out.

"Let me know if you find anything out." I said waving my hand around a little bit. "I think I need a nap."

"Are you okay?" Dean asked me, aware that _something_ was wrong with me.

I nodded and faked a convincing smile. "Fine…pregnancy is catching up with me, though."

I kissed him swiftly and then left the bar, getting in a taxi and heading over to Bobby, leaving Kate with Sam and Dean. When I got there, I walked in and Bobby looked up, putting the Colt together with the final touches. I smiled at him and he smiled back, but I knew that he was worried as to why I was back by myself—what, I couldn't just come to _see_ him?

"Lana…what brings you here?" He asked me.

I cringed again. "The baby has more power than I thought."

Bobby came over to me when I sat down suddenly in a chair at the table, and tucked some hair behind my ear before resting his hand on my stomach. He was looking at me with such concern and he looked worried when he felt my stomach. I rested my hand on his and made a face as I cringed again and he wet his pallet before he spoke.

"Your stomach is rigid." He told me.

I nodded at him. "He's sensing something and trying to get me to sense it to, but I'm in too much pain to focus."

"You sure he's not in fetal distress? Maybe you're having a miscarriage?" Bobby asked me, noting the pain flashing across my eyes for a moment.

"I keep getting fleeting senses—the baby's not in danger…I know that for sure, I promise." I told him and then cringed again, Bobby getting me ice water.

He stroked my hair softly. "Is it dark magic withdrawals?"

I set the glass down after sipping it and looked him in the eye. "It's tied to dark magic, but I don't think its withdrawals. Something is wrong—the rune!"

Just like that, the twinges of pain stopped, and I took a deep breath, feeling greatly relieved. Obviously this baby had a consciousness and he wanted his mother to be a little more aware of what was going on around her. Thank _God_ nothing bad happened to the baby…I wouldn't have been able to handle that.

"What just happened?" Bobby asked, noting the relief on my face.

"Jen and the girls are in danger because he thinks they have the rune, but I do." I explained softly.

Bobby rubbed his temples. "You brought the rune with you? And who is this 'he'?"

"Yes, and Chase." I replied, standing up slowly. "I thought that if _I_ had it, they would be safe, but obviously no one has given them the message. And Chase? Annie, Kalli and Kate have been researching him. You see, Annie found out which demon clan was after the rune—more vampires. Kalli found out that it was Chase, Chelsea's vampire clan rival. Kate? Kate figured out how he got so powerful—dark magic. She's the one who knows how to take him out, and with Kristin's help, it shouldn't be too hard—it just involves more dark magic to do that and we need to focus on the _rune_…on _activating_ the rune…which is happening once this hunt is over."

"How deep are you getting yourself in here?" Bobby asked me slowly.

I shook my head sadly. "I don't know, Bobby. I don't know."

"Well you better figure it out, and soon." Bobby told me nodding. "You can't expose him to anymore magic, Lana."

Bobby pointed to my stomach, and I hugged him, holding him close to me and burying my face in his chest as he kissed the top of my head. I never really had father figures in my life, even with my adopted father because he wasn't always around even though he was there for me. John had been the first, but since he'd passed, it was like Bobby was taking responsibility for Sam, Dean and I. I loved him, and he had no idea how much he meant to me—how much I was willing to do for him.

"Do you mind if I take a nap here? I really am kind of exhausted now." I said smiling softly.

Bobby smiled at me. "Take all the time you need, Lana. Once you're rested we'll talk about what to do next."

I kissed his cheek. "Thank you, Bobby…for everything."

He smiled a little, and I went into one of the bedrooms, crawling into the bed and snuggling into the covers. I rested my head on the pillows and set my hand on my stomach, running my fingers along the skin. All I wanted was to make it through this pregnancy without anymore complications.

"Try to connect with Mommy's mind, Little One." I whispered, and then thought it in my head.

I felt the baby move a little, and knew he'd gotten the message just because I knew. This was an adventure I wasn't sure I was ready for, but I closed my eyes, and fell asleep rather peacefully, only to be woken up by Bobby shooting the Colt at some dummies outside. I yawned, crawled out of bed, and went outside just in time to see Ruby show and I just nodded at her.

"Cute piece." She told Bobby.

"Who are you?" Bobby asked her.

Ruby ignored the question. "It won't stop a demon, if that's what you think."

Bobby gave her a look. "How the hell would you know?"

"Oh, I don't know." She told him, and then showed him her black eyes, and then they returned to normal. "Call it an educated guess."

"Well, ain't I lucky, then? Found a subject for a test fire." Bobby told her, holding the gun up.

I started heading toward them though, not wanting Dean's chance to get free of his deal to be taken care of. Honestly even I shouldn't, I was willing to give Ruby the benefit of the doubt because I wanted to have Dean around—I wanted him to live. If she really _could_ help Dean out of his deal, then I needed her to be around to do that.

"Luck has nothing to do with it. But, hey, by all means. Take your best shot. Are you gonna stand there like a pantywaist, or are you gonna shoot me?" She taunted, and Bobby shot her as I finally got to them. "You shot me! Ouch. That smarts a little."

"What do you want?" Bobby asked her.

"Peace on earth…a new shirt…now…do you want me to help you out with that gun or not?" She asked him.

I nodded at her. "Please do."

"We can trust her?" Bobby asked me, looking in my direction.

"I trust her." I told him, not sure if I really did or not, but I knew we needed her help here. "Make it work, Ruby."

She smiled, and then the smile faded. "You need to smarten up, Lana."

"What are you talking about?" I asked her, following her inside the house.

She stopped and turned to face me. "You're exposing that kid of yours to too much dark magic."

"I still have a ritual to do." I told her firmly.

"Trust me when I tell you that you don't want that rune to tell you anything." She said shaking her head at me, and it annoyed me quite frankly.

"How the Hell do you know everything?" I asked her.

She waved it off. "Just listen to me. You trust me, right?"

I chose not to answer her—I was starting to get too suspicious now and though I was able to get Bobby to help her by just spouting it off, I didn't know yet. She took my silence for a 'yes' though, and set to working on the Colt as I went back into the room and took another nap, trying to figure out what Ruby had meant by all of that. How did she know anything? What did she _actually_ know about the rune? What was I getting myself into?

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

Kate and Sam decided to run off and follow Trotter, wanting to see if he was behind all of this, and I was being sent after Casey. I was kind of weary of her since she had gone off with Ritchie and he was gone but she was back. She wasn't what she appeared to be and I just ordered a drink and then a woman came up to me, running her fingers along the bar, and I looked up at her.

"I got to tell you. Every woman in this place…they want to eat you up." She whispered in my ear.

I smiled a little. "Anybody could have tackled that guy and wrestled the gun away…prevented mass murder."

"Here's what I'm gonna do. Normally, I charge $400 a night," She told me, me nodding a little because now I knew she was a prostitute, "but why don't we call it an even deuce and get the hell out of here?"

"What do I look like?" I answered her after she whispered in my ear.

"What do I look like?" She repeated angrily. "Cheapskate."

I nodded a little and shook my head as she walked away to find different prey, and Casey came over to me. I looked up at her and plastered a smile on my face, really wishing that even _pretending_ to be interested in her was making me feel like a terrible person. Lana and I were _married_…why couldn't _Sam_ have pretended to wanted to get laid and made a move on Casey instead?

"Did I just see you strike out with a prostitute?" Casey asked me. "How's that work?"

I smiled and shrugged. "I just told her I had a thing for the bartender. It was pretty easy.

"Who says the bartender's available?" She asked me, obviously flirting as she leaned in.

"That's a good question. You got something going with some guy about that tall, wears a sweat suit?" I asked her, talking about Ritchie.

She made a face. "Who?"

"No—my mistake." I told her and then gave her the grin I used to use to pick up women. "What do you say you and me grab a drink after your shift?"

"I say why wait…when we can go right now?" She asked and I just smiled as she grabbed her jacket and we headed out of the bar.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

While Dean was undoubtedly at the bar picking up Casey just as he had planned to try and figure out what happened to Ritchie, Sam and I went to tail Trotter. We watched as he left his office accompanied by an employee, and we took the opportunity to go and explore the place, but we got caught. Sam managed to get the upper hand as I said a spell, Trotter pulling a gun on us.

"What are you doing here?" Trotter asked us.

"I think maybe you know." Sam told him.

Trotter gave him a look. "Yeah? Well, I think I'm calling the cops."

"Cops?" I asked him, Sam and I both _incredibly_ surprised by that.

"Breaking and entering, assault…you're in a peck of trouble, my friend." Trotter replied.

"Uh, well, I think I could probably explain it!" Sam told him, disarming Trotter and taking aim at him. "Alright, back up! Get back."

Suddenly I was feeling like we hadn't hit the right lead—that though Trotter was a scumbag, he wasn't a demon. Still, we had to make sure, and as Trotter tried to explain where the money was and that Sam could have it, I grabbed the Holy Water from Sam and threw it on Trotter. He was stunned and Sam and I were embarrassed, and we were both suddenly _really_ worried about Dean…worried that maybe he had found out more than he had been letting on before—stupid fucker and his kamikaze missions…

"What kind of psycho are you?" Trotter asked us surprised.

"Oh, God." Sam said his face flushing. "Uh, I'm sorry. I think this was just a minor misunderstanding? Okay…um…how 'bout I just…I just leave, cause…you know, I'll take these." Sam said removing the bullets from the gun. "Okay? I'll, uh, I'll leave this for, uh…" Sam put the gun down. "You, uh…have a nice day?"

Sam and I hurried out of the place and went to go and find Dean—things were looking a little messed up from where we stood.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I looked around the basement that Casey led me too and I tried to keep my cool because I had to play this just right. Though I hoped that Sam and Kate would find a lead with Trotter, I knew that Casey was bad news and I was going to have to exorcise her. I just wanted to get this done and check in on Lana because I worried about her when she just waved things off and went to be alone.

"Looks like the maid's day off." I joked with her. "Everything okay?"

She kissed me swiftly making me a little uncomfortable. "Make yourself comfortable."

"Oh, I forgot to mention…Richie was a friend of mine." I told her, nodding when she looked at me. "When I realized I could track the GPS in his cell phone, I swung by earlier. Gave him a proper burial. It's better than rotting in some skank's basement."

Casey rushed at me and then she stopped dead in her tracks and I smiled a little, enjoying this more than I should have. I was prepared and I was doing this on my own and I felt pretty powerful even though I knew that if Lana was here she would be calling me reckless. She would have been right, but at the same time I had to make sure that this ended to that everyone was safe—so that our hunt was done.

"Whoops." I said, lifting the carpet to reveal a devil's trap. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Isn't that a buzz kill? Sorry, sister, but you're going back to where you came from."

She made a face as I took out the exorcism book. "I don't think so."

I started to read from the Latin text but Casey seemed to have some tricks up her sleeves and provoked a wind. It not only blew the pages out of the book away, but it also caused a collapse in the basement that made me feel like Lana would kill me when she heard about this. I ran in guns blazing and got myself trapped and now Casey was _laughing _at me and it was getting on my nerves.

"What are you laughing at, bitch? You're still trapped." I told her.

She smiled at me. "So are you…Bitch."

I made a face and then I looked around a bit, lighting a candle and checking over the rubble. I was _definitely _trapped, and I prayed to God that Kate—or even Lana though I wanted her _out _of the fights—would figure it out and come to my aid. It wasn't that I wanted to be saved from my mistake…it was that Casey needed to be taken care of and I couldn't do it.

"Lose something?" Casey asked me.

I laughed a little. "All you demons have such smart mouths."

"It's a gift." Casey replied in a cheeky manner that almost reminded me of Lana.

"Yeah…well, let's see if you're smiling when I send your ass back to hell." I told her.

"Without your little exorcism book? Hey, go ahead." She said and then she laughed at me when I tried and stopped—Latin was _not_ my strong suit. "Having a little trouble there, Sport?" She smiled as I tried again and had to stop, pissed at myself. "Nice try, but I think you just ordered a pizza. I guess you should have paid more attention in Latin class."

I shot her a look. "I don't know what you're smiling about. You're not going anywhere."

"And, apparently, neither are you." She replied with a smile.

"Yeah, but I got somebody coming for me, and, uh…he _did_ pay attention in class." I said lamely, heading for an opening.

I didn't want to be stuck down here with her anymore than she wanted to be stuck with me, but we were. Honestly all I wanted was for _someone_ to find us, and I _really_ hoped that they would be on _my _side and _not _on _her_ side. That was just what I needed right now—to fight _more _demons.

"Oh, right…Sam." Casey replied nodding. "Everyone says he's the brains of the outfit."

I turned to her. "Everyone?"

"Sure. You Winchester boys are famous. Not Lohan famous, but, you know…?" She asked me and then shrugged. "Lana and Kate are more like Lohan famous with us."

"Well, that's flattering. I'll be sure to let Sam know when he gets here." I told her, not really wanting a demon point of view of my wife.

"_If_ he shows up first." She told me, me making a face because it was my fear. "What, you thought I was flying solo? You shouldn't underestimate, Dean. It might be the death of you. You can give me hard eyes all you want, but the fact remains, we just have to wait and see who shows up first…the cavalry or the Indians."

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

Dean was supposed to meet us at the bar when he was done with Casey and he hadn't showed yet, which had Sam on edge. Honestly I was worried too because I knew how hard it would be for Lana to lose her husband before it was time for Dean to go down to Hell because of his deal. Even if she didn't get him forever, she wanted him to be able to be around to see the birth of his son.

"You look kind of tense." A prostitute told Sam and I shot her a look. "You know, I know a surefire way to relax."

I scoffed. "Go find someone who's _not_ attached."

"Excuse me?" Sam said going up to the bar and talking to the barman, ignoring the prostitute shooting me an angry look and walking away.

"What can I get for you?" The barman asked him.

"Um, you remember the guy I was with last night? We sat right here. Um…" Sam trailed off.

The barman nodded. "The big hero who jumped on Reggie."

"Yeah, yeah….the…the big hero." Sam said dismally, and I rubbed his back. "Right. Um, have you seen him around at all today?"

"Maybe." The barman said shrugging. "Depends."

"D-depends on what?" Sam asked him and the barman smiled, making Sam frown and pull out some money angrily. "Oh, my…does everyone around here have their hand out?"

I really didn't get this town and yet at the same time I understood—everyone here was pretty much out for themselves. All this self-preservation, and hoping that they could get themselves to feel better by whoring themselves out or getting drunk. This was some really messed up town, but hopefully once we took care of the demons…things would get a little better.

"He left with Casey about an hour ago." The barman told him.

Sam nodded at him. "Any idea where they went?"

"Her place…for bible study." The barman replied.

"Yeah, convincing—got an address?" I asked him, losing patience with him.

"What's wrong with you? You think I'm gonna give you a co-worker's address just so you can go over there and get your freaky peeping-tom rocks off?" He asked us and then smiled when Sam handed him another bill. "Corner of Piermont and Clinton…have fun."

Sam and I just nodded at him and then headed out of the bar to go and check Casey's place—we just hoped that Dean was all right.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I finally found a barrel I could stand on and placed it under the opening I had found, trying to get a signal. If I could just get my phone to work than everything would be all right—I could call Sam for back-up, I could let Lana know I was all right…I could see how she was. It was hard for us lately and I just desperately wanted the two of us to be all right…I wanted everything to be fine.

"Why don't you relax?" Casey asked me.

I made a face. "Why don't you kiss my ass?"

"Well, Dean, you're a poet. I had no idea. Look, we won't have any effect on the outcome of this. We might as well be civil." She explained to me.

"Civil, huh?" I asked her after trying in vain to lift the grid blocking the opening. "Killing Richie…that was…that was civil? The guy was harmless."

"That knife he pulled on me didn't look so harmless." She replied quickly.

I rolled my eyes. "A knife wouldn't hurt you."

"No, but it would damage this body…and Casey has such a fine body, I wouldn't want to see it ripped." She told me.

"A demon with a heart. Wow. Well, you know, there's a bunch of dead people in town that might disagree with you." I replied with a soft chuckle.

Honestly it was unnerving me just how like Lana this demon was—she was confident, she was sassy, and she was attractive. The thing was though that I wasn't attracted _to_ her, exactly…I was just kind of missing Lana's company and this banter was the next closest thing that I had. I knew I had to just get used to it until Sam showed up…I didn't really had any other choice and that bothered me.

"Hey, I didn't pull any triggers." Casey protested.

I rolled my eyes again. "Yeah, you did something."

"You want to know what I did…what I really did? I had lunch." She explained to me.

"Lunch?" I asked her.

"Me and Trotter. He had a cheeseburger, I had a salad, and I just pointed out the money that could be made with a few businesses that cater to harmless vice. So Trotter built it, and, man, did they come. Supposedly God-fearing folk, waist-deep in booze, sex, gambling. I barely lifted a finger." Casey told me.

I nodded at her. "That's it?"

"You don't get it." Casey said shaking her head. "All you got to do is nudge humans in the right direction. Some whiskey here, a hooker there, and they'll walk right into Hell with big, fat smiles on their faces. Your kind is corrupt, Dean. Weak. Our will's stronger. That's why we'll win."

"And that's how it ends?" I asked her skeptically.

"No. That's how it begins." She replied to me.

I was kind of confused as to what she meant by that, but at the same time I wanted to know more so I sat down and looked at her. There was no other place for me to try to get out, and I knew I couldn't lift all of the rubble out of my way. All I could do was make small talk with Casey until someone showed and there was a showdown…it was a _terrible_ scenario, but it was the only one.

"So, demons take over. I thought the meek shall inherit the earth." I told her shrugging.

She smiled a little. "Oh, according to your bible. It's only a book, Dean."

"Not everyone would agree." I replied, knowing that Lana at least wouldn't and there were many more that would agree with her.

"Because it's God's book? Do you believe in God, Dean? I'd be surprised if you did." Casey said honestly.

I swallowed at that. "I don't know. I'd like to."

That was honestly the truth for me—I felt like part of the reason why Lana was such a wonderful person was _because_ of her faith. She believed so whole-heartedly in something better than all of us and that made her so optimistic and so loving. I didn't know why she had ever decided to pick me…there were people with more faith out there that could probably give her a better life—but they'd _never_ love her as much I did.

"Well, I don't see how you and your God have done such a bang-up job. War, genocide…it's only getting worse. I mean, this past century, you people racked up a body count that amazed even us. It's our turn now, and we're gonna do it right this time." Casey told me and we both heard a noise that made her shrug. "Don't be hopeful, Dean. You're not delivered…it's only the wind."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

The next time I woke up, it was to my cell phone and I stretched a little, opening my eyes after a moment of ringing. Believe it or not, I was feeling rather refreshed finally, and so I answered instead of ignoring it to go back to sleep. It was about time I got back into the swing of the hunt and I could never just _ignore_ a phone call from Sam.

"Hello?" I answered groggily.

"Where are you?" Sam asked me.

I stretched a little more, still lying in bed. "I'm with Bobby. I was feeling a little lonely, and he always makes me feel safer."

Sam chuckled a little. "Yeah…I was just wondering. Kate and I came back to the motel and you weren't there. I got worried, and the first thing I thought of was calling you and since you answered, we know you're not dead."

"Good call." I said laughing a bit. "I'm nice and safe."

"Good." Sam told me. "Well I was just making sure you were all right and not kidnapped or dead or something—Kate would kick my ass if I let anything happen to you. I'll call back when I get my information."

I nodded at him. "All right, Sammy. We'll talk soon."

I hung up after he did, and then sat up a little and yawned. I ran my fingers along my stomach for a moment, and then slid the covers off of my legs and rested my bare feet on the floor. I was kind of hungry, so I got up and went out to see what Bobby was up to, only to see a slightly panicked look on his face.

"Sammy's lying to me?" I asked him suddenly.

Bobby looked up as he packed a few things. "I told him you were fine and with me before he called you."

"So why tell _me_ the truth?" I asked him, wishing people weren't treating me like some kind of delicate baby.

"Because you explained your deal to me, and I trust you. You need to have trust in other people, Lana." Bobby said, and as I opened my mouth he held up his hand to silence me and continued. "Things aren't going quite as planned."

That was an understatement and I agreed with him—random slightly awkward phone messages from Sam _always _spelled out trouble. Kate had probably _made _him call me because I know the second that Kate lies to me that she's lying and if they wanted to keep me in the dark, _her _calling was out of the question. When I raised an eyebrow, Bobby held up his cell phone and played back the last voicemail he'd gotten from Sam.

"Bobby, it's Sam. We got a big problem. Lana's missing, Kate and I found some sulfur, and now we can't find Dean. Call me as soon as you get this." Sam said firmly.

"So you called him back, told him I was with you, and now you're off to go and save my husband? Were you planning on telling me at all?" I asked, not angry, but wanting to know honestly.

Bobby looked at me. "You can't keep gallivanting off."

"Do you want that kid of yours to be born or not?" Ruby asked, coming into the room.

"Will everyone just stop please?" I asked out loud angrily looking at Ruby. "The only reason _you_ want my baby to be born is because you want Sam to lead your demon army, and so you agree with my father. My father, who also says this child of mine has a destiny—if not demonic, then man, that means that he'll be an even bigger help to my side. To be honest, I _want_ this baby—more than you know. However, I want to have my husband around for his full year even _more_. So you know what? I'm going with you to save him. You need to get over the fact that I'm pregnant. The baby's taking care of himself, and I will protect him."

Ruby smirked a little. "Give her a weapon, Bobby. Now move."

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

"You know, you're piling it pretty high there, sweetheart. I'm not sure I'm buying." I told Casey as we sat there.

Casey gave me a look. "Why would I lie?"

"Demons lie." I replied giving her a look.

"Some do. Some are true believers." Casey said shrugging at me.

I gave her another look. "Believers in what?"

"What?" Casey asked me. "You think humans have an exclusive on a higher power?"

"You have a God?" I asked her skeptically.

"Sure." She said nodding. "His name's Lucifer."

I raised my eyebrows. "You mean the devil?"

"Your word, not ours. Lucifer actually means 'light bringer'. Look it up." Casey told me. "Once he was the most beautiful of all God's angels. But God demanded that he bow down before man, and when he refused, God banished him. Tell me, Dean. How do you like bowing before lesser creatures?"

This whole conversation was really starting to blow my mind and I didn't know exactly what to do here—what to think. I knew that Lana believed in God and in Lucifer, but she believed in them in the realms of the Bible…well mostly. Lana believed in all sorts of strange things and I wished that _she_ was here to banter with Casey because I didn't feel like this was a conversation I could have and sound intelligent while _having_ it.

"Lucifer's really real?" I asked Casey lamely.

"Well, no one's actually seen him, but they say that he made us into what we are, and they say that he'll return." Casey told me firmly.

I looked at her. "Oh, yeah? And, uh, you believe that?"

"I've got faith." She said plainly. "So, you see? Is my kind really all that different than yours?"

"Well, except that, uh, demons are evil." I told her giving her a look.

Casey scoffed at me. "And humans are such a lovable bunch. Dick Cheney."

"He one of yours?" I asked her laughing a little.

"Not yet…but let's just say he's got a parking spot reserved for him downstairs." Casey replied smiling.

I nodded at her and then I swallowed because I knew I shouldn't be talking about this with Casey and _not_ with Lana. It was just that I felt like I had to be strong for Lana…I felt like even though she knew I was scared, I had to act like I was okay with what I had chosen to follow through with…even though I wasn't. The idea of leaving her behind—of leaving our son behind—it frankly scared the shit out of me. I wanted to be with her…I wanted to have a normal life with her…but that just wasn't possible…not with everything we had to do.

"Hey, speaking of downstairs…what's it like down there?" I asked Casey slowly.

She paused a moment. "What, Hell?"

"Yeah." I told her nodding.

"That's right." Casey said nodding at me. "You booked a one-way ticket with that deal. You're not gonna like it, Dean…and, um, judging from the trouble you've caused, I don't think you'll be getting the presidential suite. No, it's a pit of despair. Why do you think we want to come here?"

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

"So, the…the bartender the other night, Casey, you know her pretty well?" Sam asked the priest.

Sam and I were _desperate_ to find Casey because all we had found at her place was sulfur—so we knew Dean was on to something. He'd run off after a demon and he hadn't come back and Sam and I needed to find him right then and there. Lana was going to freak if she found out what was going on, and if Dean was still alive when we got there, I was going to _kill_ him for being so reckless.

"Since she was in pigtails." The priest replied.

Sam nodded at him. "Well, um, she and my brother, they, uh…they…left tonight. Together."

"Well, not that I approve, but they are consenting adults." The priest said and I squirmed a little—I just didn't trust him.

"That's not it—he's married to the other girl we were with when we talked before." Sam said shaking his head. "They're expecting a baby."

I laughed a little. "Could be he's feeling trapped and Casey was giving him an excuse to have a good time, but we're worried. We went to Casey's and they weren't there and we uh…we think they might be in trouble. It's not like him not to call us."

"What kind of trouble?" The priest asked, suddenly alert and that in itself made me feel like we were getting somewhere.

"Just trouble." Sam told him. "Please, Father, I need your help. Is there anything you could tell me about Casey…anyplace she'd go, maybe?"

The priest nodded. "Yes, there is a place. Let me get my jacket."

"No, wait, Father. I don't want to put you out. I can do this just with Kate." Sam tried but the priest was shaking his head.

"Son, if Casey's really in trouble, then there's nothing to talk about." He told us and I bit my lip because I didn't want to be near him. "Shall we go?"

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

"Kind of funny, don't you think? You and me sitting here like a couple of regular folk." Casey told me.

I just nodded. "It's hilarious…you know, in that apocalyptic sort of way."

"You're alright, Dean. The others don't describe you that way. But, you know, you're…you're likable." Casey said smiling at me.

"A demon likes me. Sorry, I don't know how to respond to that." I replied laughing awkwardly.

She smiled at me more. "Well Lana likes you, but that's a whole different story, isn't it?"

"We're not talking about Lanni." I told her firmly, shooting her a look.

If there was just one thing that I was _not_ going to do, it was sit around and listen to the things that _demons_ had to say about my wife. Honestly I trusted Casey, and it was easy to open up to her mostly, but there was _no_ way I was going to listen to her potentially tear my wife down. Lana was perfect and our son was going to be perfect, and that was all that I or anyone else needed to know…even if I was worried about her father's potential influence on her.

"Fine…that deal you made to save Sam…a lot of others would mock you for it, think it was weak or stupid. I don't." Casey told me.

"It's been kind of liberating, actually. What's the point in worrying about a future when you don't have one, huh?" I asked her, knowing I was spouting off garbage because I wanted to give Lana more than this.

Casey nodded at me. "Still, a year left. You're not scared? Not even a little?"

"Of course not." I told her, lying through my teeth.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

"So, insurance investigating. You enjoy the work?" The priest asked us as he drove us to the place Casey was supposed to be at in his car.

Sam coughed a little. "Yeah…yeah, I…like being able to help people."

"Ever think about doing anything else?" He asked him.

"Like what?" Sam questioned.

"Mmm, anything. You seem like a pretty smart kid. Somehow I see you out in front of the pack. You could do some great things." The priest replied to him and then looked in the rearview mirror. "And what about you? You look like you have a future ahead of you to do something better."

"I don't know. I like doing what I'm doing, I guess." Sam told him.

I smiled a little. "I think life is playing out how it should."

"Well, it's your life." The priest told us. "Does, um…Dean?"

"Yeah, Dean." Sam said nodding.

"Does he find trouble often?" The priest asked us. "Seems like he should be more careful with a kid on the way and a wife in the wings."

Sam chortled and nodded. "Yeah, yeah, Dean finds his fair share."

"Well, it's a good thing he has you…his brother's keeper." The priest told us and I suddenly felt like I wanted to smash his head against the window and do this on my own…but why?

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I really wished that I wasn't feeling kind of attracted to Casey while she lie on the floor stretching. It wasn't even that I was sexually attracted to her…I just missed Lana and Casey was an attractive girl—demon in her or no. She smiled a little at me and I realized I was staring and I felt terrible—if only Lana was there to smack me upside my head.

"Oh my, Dean, if I didn't know better, I'd say that was lust in your eyes." Casey said, laughing a little. "Well, it would be one way to spend the time. But I don't think you'd respect me in the morning."

"That's okay. I mean, hey, I barely respect you now." I joked back, laughing and then sobering a bit. "Hey, can I ask you a question?"

Casey nodded at me. "I'm an open book."

"So, the gate opened…the demon army was let out…what now, huh? I'm not seeing a big, honking plan here." I told her.

"Honestly, there was a plan." Casey said shrugging. "Azazel was a tyrant, but he held us all together."

I made a face at her. "Azazel?"

"What? You think his friends just called him 'Yellow Eyes'? He had a name." Casey explained to me. "After you did him in, it all fell apart…after Lana refused to give in to what she was supposed to become to take over for him until he was ready…it all just fell apart."

"Sorry about that." I told her, but I wasn't sorry at all. "So, what? No chain of command?"

Honestly I wanted to know more about this—wanted to be able to tell these things to Lana because now I was more curious than ever. Azazel, _her father_, had a plan and she was supposed to be part of it but I had put a stop to it and what? Things were falling apart and _that_ was why there was no big honking battle right now? I didn't understand…and I was feeling bad that I felt like I had to be weary of my own wife.

"There was." Casey replied nodding. "Lana was supposed to take over and find her place…and then it was supposed to be Sam. Sam was supposed to be the grand pooh-bah and lead the big army, but they haven't exactly stepped up to the plan, have they?"

I chuckled at her. "Thank God for that."

"Again with God—you think this is a good thing? Now you've got chaos, a war without a front, hundreds of demons all jockeying for power, all fighting for the crown…most of them gunning for your brother. For the record, I was ready to follow Lana and Sam."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I followed Ruby out to the car, and we went to where she told us to go, finding Sam facing off with the priest from the church in front of a house. Bobby shot at a statue next to the priest, as Kate got up, brushing herself off—there had been a showdown before we even arrived, and Kate looked _pissed_. The priest turned and threw Bobby with his telekinesis demon power, a force field going up around me automatically—this baby knew when danger was near…he had such a will to live.

Sam got thrown into the windshield of a car and then after throwing Kate up against a tree with his powers, the priest ran off inside the house, and I went over and helped Sam off of the car. He gave me a look, but hurried off to help Bobby instead of scolding me, me running over to help Kate who looked thoroughly upset. Then she made a face when she sensed Ruby and I bit my lip—as helpful as she might be to us in the future, Kate didn't like that I was already trusting the blonde.

"Bobby, you all right?" Sam asked him.

Bobby nodded at him. "Yeah."

"How did you know where we…?" Sam asked trailing off.

"Go." Bobby answered him, giving him the Colt.

"You heard the man." Ruby told him, coming out of the darkness. "Go."

Sam looked at me and when Kate and I nodded, he hurried off and I stayed put, Kate following Sam instinctively. She wanted to be near him and protect him, and I wanted to help Dean too whether I was _supposed _to or not. My son had saved me from demon telekinesis, and I owed him so much—I had to keep him alive, even if it meant letting other people save my husband. What I hadn't come to realize until now was that I owed my son a lot more than just his life—I owed him answers, and non-hypocritical lectures. I needed to know my past…I needed to activate the rune, and that was that.

"Dean!" I called as he and Sam came out of the house.

"I should have known you'd be here." He told me, Ruby having disappeared just in time.

I shrugged, and went over to him, wrapping my arms around him as Bobby went into the house to check out the damage. Dean held me too, and nuzzled my neck with his nose pulling me closer to him and holding on tighter. That made me smile because he missed me, and I had been better this time…I had made sure that I wasn't in the fight endangering my life _or_ our son's.

"She was a lot like you." Dean whispered to me.

I pulled away a little. "The demon? How? Is that a compliment? Were you attracted to her?"

"She had so much faith." Dean told me, stroking my hair. "How can you see everything you see, and still believe in something better? Something bigger than all of this?"

"It's not easy, but it's worth it." I told him shrugging.

"Azazel." Dean said suddenly.

"What?" I asked, thoroughly confused.

Dean nodded and smiled a little. "Your father's name—it's Azazel."

"That's nice to know." I answered honestly.

"We have some things to talk about tonight." Dean informed me, kissing me softly.

"You have _no_ idea—but let's save it until tomorrow. I just want to hold you tonight, all right?" I asked him.

He smiled and kissed me swiftly. "I _love_ that idea."

Once Bobby came out and we cleaned up after ourselves, we headed to the motel and climbed into bed, Bobby heading off to get his own room for the night. I turned out the light and slid under the covers, Dean's arms automatically opening up, and holding me to him. Kate and Sam were snuggled and trying to sleep in the bed next to us and I just wanted some things out in the open.

"The baby's powerful." I whispered to Dean.

Dean kissed my forehead. "What do you mean?"

"He's showing powers in the womb—he's protecting me and himself." I explained softly. "You know what this means, right?"

Dean sighed and held me tighter. "You have to activate the rune?"

I nodded slowly. "That's _exactly_ what it means."

"I want to be there with you—I want you to be careful." Dean told me.

Sam turned over to face our bed. "I want to look at the ritual before you and Kate do this, all right?"

"I want him to do that too." Dean said pointing at Sam.

"We promise." Kate told them, kissing Sam swiftly as I nodded in agreement.

Dean nodded and he and I snuggled up against each other, and then he lovingly stroked my belly, so I took his hand and kissed it, resting it back on my stomach and turning over. We fell asleep quite peacefully, getting up the next morning to pack, Dean and me heading to see Bobby off. I felt like I needed to thank him for taking care of me and loving me like a daughter, and for some reason Dean wanted away from Sam.

"Well, what do you think, Bobby?" Dean asked him. "What we did here, you think it made a difference?"

Bobby looked at him. "Two less demons to worry about—that's not nothing."

"But Trotter's still alive." Dean told him.

"Humans aren't our job." I reminded him, Bobby nodding in agreement with me. "I mean I know it feels like a losing battle because these people are kind of destroying themselves, but that's not our place."

Dean ran his hand down his face. "You guys didn't see it."

"How upset _are_ you that the demon's dead?" I asked him. "Sam did what he had to do."

"It was cold." Dean said shaking his head. "Back in Wyoming, uh, there was this moment Yellow Eyes said something to me…that maybe, when Sam came back from wherever, that…maybe he came back different."

Bobby looked at him as I swallowed. " Different how?"

"I don't know." Dean said shaking his head. "Whatever it was, it didn't sound good. You think…think something's wrong with my brother?"

"No." Bobby told him quickly. "Demons lie. I'm sure Sam's okay."

"Yeah…yeah, me too." Dean replied but I knew they were both thinking _too_ much on this…and it was painful.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

"Leaving so soon?" Ruby asked us, appearing while we were packing. "We haven't even had a chance to celebrate."

Kate scoffed at that. "Yeah, well, you can celebrate without us, Bitch."

"You two aren't gonna get all pouty on me now, are you? Come on! You killed two demons today, Sam!" Ruby exclaimed merrily.

"Yeah, well, maybe you don't care, but I killed two humans, too." Sam replied, shaking his head.

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Sam, you know what happens when demons piggyback humans. They leave them broke hard and pull up what? Chances are those two would have died a slow, sticky death. You probably did them a favor."

"Did them a favor?" Sam exclaimed loudly. "You're a cold bitch, you know that?"

"Yeah, and this cold bitch has saved your ass a couple of times now." She answered shrugging while Sam picked up the colt. "Some respect might be nice. Especially if you want me to help you out with Dean and his little problem."

"You know what? You keep dangling that, but last I checked, Dean's still going to hell." I told her shaking my head. "I am _not_ gonna keep letting Lanni have this false hope that we can save him from his fate when you're not following through!"

"Everything in its own time, Kate, but there's a quid pro quo here." Ruby explained to us. "We're in a war."

Sam nodded at that. "Right…but for some reason, you're fighting on our team. Now, tell me, why is that again?"

"Go screw yourself, that's why." Ruby told him, getting upset. "I don't have to justify my actions to you, Sam. If you don't want my help, fine. Then give me the gun, and I'll pass it on to someone who will use it."

"Maybe I'll just use it on you." Sam replied, pressing the Colt to Ruby's throat.

She just looked at him calmly. "Go ahead, if that makes you happy. It's not gonna do much for Dean, though. So, what's it gonna be?" She smiled when Sam moved the Colt away when I touched his hand—Ruby was still our only choice right now. "That's my boy. This won't be easy, Sam. You're gonna have to do things that go against that gentle nature of yours and Kate's gonna have to let you. There'll be collateral damage…but, it has to be done."

"Well, I don't have to like it." Sam told her.

She smiled at him. "No. You wouldn't be Sam if you did. On the bright side, I'll be there with you, that little fallen angel on your shoulder."

"You better keep up your side of the bargain, Bitch." I told her, looking her down. "Or so help me, I will be the first one to you…and I will _kill_ you."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

After we saw Bobby off, Dean and I went back to the motel room without so much as one word to each other. I was sad that he thought that something was wrong with Sam—Sam just did what he thought was necessary, and I didn't want to fight about it. We'd talk later, but for now, I just wanted to get on the road…wanted to activate the rune and _finally _understand my own past. As we were loading the Impala, the boys were discussing where to go to next and I answered my phone as it rang, Kate just kind of immersed in her own thing, but something was up and I'd talk to her about it soon.

"I think you may want to come home now." Annie's voice said.

I paused and swallowed. "How bad is it?"

"Oh everything is peachy keen actually. Just thought you might want to come home and see how everyone is, is all." Annie told me.

"I'll be there soon." I told her nodding, hanging up the phone.

"What is it?" Dean asked as my face gave away my fear.

"Chase is with Jen. He thinks she has the rune…but I do." I explained to him.

**Note: Oh my GOD! 39 pages AND…the next chapter is THE RUNE! It has taken LONG ENOUGH to get here, don't you think? A LOT of Lana's past is going to get shown to you next chapter and I hope you'll enjoy it. Also, I hope you guys like the switching between Kate and Lana POVs because that will probably happen a lot for the rest of the story, with of course the occasional Dean and Sam POV. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	58. The Rune

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**The chapter you've all been waiting for—THE RUNE!**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

I had been avoiding the subject for the last 20 minutes while I packed as fast as I could, Kate packing up the car with Sam. Dean was upset I hadn't told him that I had the rune on me, but that wasn't why he was giving me the angry look. Honestly he understood when I mentioned it would save Kaydence and Minah…he was giving me the angry look because he knew I wasn't being truthful about _why _I was suddenly being all secretive about the rune.

"Talk to me." Dean said softly and firmly.

I stopped packing and looked up at him. "I was afraid."

I pushed the duffle to the side and sat on the bed as I sighed, Dean nodding and coming over to me. He reached out and stroked my hair, using his free hand to grab mine, squeezing it as I took a deep breath. Dean was waiting until I looked him in the eye and I just smiled at him sadly and shrugged a little.

"What are you afraid of?" He asked me.

"I'm afraid of you backing out of all of this." I admitted to him, shrugging again. "What if what's inside the rune is evil? What if _I'm_ really evil? Why would you want to have anything to do with either of us if I was evil, when that means that in turn, he's evil too?"

Dean kissed me gently. "Baby, stop worrying about that—there is _no _way that you could _ever _be evil, all right? This rune has to do with your life—with our son's life…even though I don't want you to do this, I understand that you have to—but you _can't _go into this _assuming _everything is going to go wrong, all right?"

"Even if I have this feeling that everything _is_ going to go wrong?" I asked him sadly.

He nodded at me and kissed me gently, shaking his head a little when I tried to deepen the kiss. It made me laugh a little and bring his body closer to mine, making a face when he successfully pulled out of the kiss and sent me a look, pointing at the motel room door. I just shrugged and he chuckled a little, but shook his head and pulled back when I went in to kiss him again.

"They could come back any second, Lanni." Dean protested. "I want to, I _do_, but we can do that when we get home."

I smiled at him. "You think of it as your home?"

"Yeah…I haven't let on about that before?" Dean asked me.

"Not in exactly those words, but…_please_ can we do this right now?" I asked suddenly, Dean chuckling and rolling his eyes.

He nodded and kissed me softly, the kiss escalating as I pulled him down on the bed with me, Dean turning us over so I was on top. That made me smiled and I worked on his buttons, Dean grunting a little as I moved against him firmly, both of us looking towards the door as Kate came in and then shook her head. She looked up at the ceiling and laughed a little, rolling her eyes and then closing them.

"The car is ready." Kate told us. "We can leave now."

I smiled a little. "I'm kind of having some urges so if you and Sam wouldn't mind waiting like 20 minutes, that would be great and we'll be out then."

"Only 20 minutes? Again—you two are romantic." Kate said before saluting us and closing the door behind her.

"Okay, we only have 20 minutes." I told Dean, frowning when I looked at him and we made eye contact.

Dean shook his head. "Nope…we're going to wait until we get home so we have more time."

"Dean, it's not like we haven't had a quickie before." I said, sighing as he sat up, me now on his lap, my hands grabbing at his shirt at his sides.

"I…don't _want_ a quickie." Dean admitted shrugging, kissing me softly our eyes locked on each others. "I…want to take my time—don't you dare!"

Dean was faster than me and grabbed my hand as I started to unfasten his pants, smiling at him because the sentiment was sweet. Still I wanted him right then and there and it was going to take us a couple of _days_ to get home…and I wanted him right _now_. I sighed as he brought my hand to his lips and kissed it, both of us looking at each other the whole time and I nodded and rolled my eyes.

"Fine, but I'm on top and I get control when we get there." I said, getting off of his lap and zipping up my duffle. "I'm surprised that as turned on as you are already, I couldn't convince you."

Dean laughed and nodded as I looked at the slight bulge in his pants. "Yeah, well…it was hard to turn you down, but I'm looking forward to being commanded. You know, I find it kind of adorable that you used to be so nervous about sex and now you initiate it about as much as I do."

"Yeah, well…we don't really have _time_ for me to _gradually_ get used to it. I mean sure its been like a little over two years since we started having sex but…we have ten months…I gotta get in what I can." I told him, trying to make the last few words sound perky since I had started to sound upset. "Let's go."

I slung the duffle over my shoulder and then headed for the door, stopping when Dean grabbed my free hand and tugged softly. Slowly I turned to him, smiling a little when his lips collided with mine and he took my duffle from me, dropping it on the floor. He made a face when I pulled back and gave him a look, shrugging his shoulders and motioning his head to the bed.

"Come on, we can do a quickie now and take our time later." Dean said, rolling his eyes. "Least I can do for you."

I smiled a little. "I don't want _guilty_ sex…besides we only have 15 more minutes."

"Then we should be quick about it…you first." Dean replied, his skilled hand going for the button on my jeans.

"Why am _I_ always first?" I asked and then I laughed as he pulled the zipper down, both of us backing up towards the bed, our lips together.

xxxx

I was actually surprised at how fast we got back to Lawrence, Sam and Kate going straight to her room to unpack, me tossing my duffle on the bed. Then I pulled out my phone to call Jen and let her know we were there and to ask about Annie saying 'peachy keen', our safe word, and then Dean took it from me. When I gave him a look, he kissed me and set my phone on the nightstand, slipping his fingers into my hair.

"36 hours too long for you?" I teased, biting his bottom lip gently. "Baby, I have to go check on everyone."

Dean nodded slowly and then he took a deep breath. "I seem to get my way when I say really nice things so…do you want to know why I really did it?"

"Yes." I said softly, knowing he was talking about the deal as he stroked my hair.

"I had to save him." Dean explained to me.

I bit my lip before speaking. "What?"

"Dad said I would have to kill Sammy if I couldn't save him—I saved him. And you want to know what else? You and Sammy? You two are strong." Dean continued.

"No we're—" I tried.

"—let me finish." Dean said, holding up his hand. "You two are stronger than I could ever be. I knew when Sam died that I couldn't go on without him, even with you, my rock, right by my side. You and Sam could have moved on though. You have so much more to live for because you were right—you know me better than anyone. Sam would have settled down with you and finished Law School, and become a lawyer, and you two would have put our son on a path of good. Sure now he has Kate and they're perfect and I wouldn't have wanted you to move on with him anyway, but…you two can _still _raise him up…and Sam is _saved_. You're the strongest woman I've ever met, Lanni. I was a _mess_ when you died. Without you and Sam, I would have just wilted away."

"Dean, how can you doubt yourself like that?" I asked softly stroking his cheek.

Dean swallowed and shrugged at me. "Because I know myself, and that's why I can't let you and Sam try and tinker with this—I can't let Sam be dead again. I wouldn't be able to live with the knowledge that I couldn't get to him in time. He's my little brother—_my_ responsibility."

I kissed him before he could say anything else, and though stunned at first, he returned it slowly. He was my husband and I _hated_ that he felt like he was so weak when he _wasn't_—I just didn't know how to tell him that and make _him_ believe it. Dean stroked my cheek with his thumb when I pulled back and looked up into his eyes, holding onto his shirt and pulling him closer to me.

"What happened to this family wasn't your fault, Dean." I told him, resting my forehead against his. "Everything that happened was because of my father. He's gone now, but his damage is still here…I forgive you for _all_ of it—I _hate_ what the final consequence is, but Baby, I forgive you, okay?"

Dean gave me a look. "No you don't. I threw away _our_ future—I didn't think of _you_, even when _I_ complain that people should think of their loved ones first."

"You have to look after yourself though, too. I get it, Dean. When we're honest, we get through things. This marriage won't be held together without honesty." I said kissing him gently and running my nose along his.

"I'm so angry with myself for leaving you alone." He whispered honestly.

I nodded, and slid his jacket off of him, kissing him again and smiling when he started to unbutton his shirt. He made a noise when I shook my head and stopped his hands, taking my jacket off and dropping it on the floor. Then I pulled my shirt off and stepped back up to him, putting his hands on my hips. There was definitely _no_ way that I had forgotten that it was _my_ turn to be in control…even _after_ what Dean had said to me back at the motel. Normally _he_ was the dominant one no matter _how_ easily sex came to me these days, but I had to get _my_ days with him in too.

"I think it's _your_ turn first this time." I told him as I undid his pants, teasing my fingers against his zipper and then moving to unbutton his buttons. "Can we share?"

Dean chuckled and nodded. "Yeah…we can definitely share command."

"Good…I just…I want this to last a while and I like when you're in charge too." I admitted shrugging, Dean stroking my hair as I looked him in the eye.

"What, Lanni?" Dean asked me softly.

"I'm yours…heart and soul." I told him firmly, running my fingertips along the part of his chest where his heart was.

He smiled and did the same to me. "I'm yours…heart and soul—though you might not want my soul cause it's going to burn."

I made a face, but when he grinned at his joke, I had to smile a little too. "Maybe I like toasty, kind of singed souls."

He nodded as I shrugged playfully, and then kissed me softly again. "You're my soul mate—I truly believe that."

"Are you going to make love to me, or make me cry?" I asked after a pause and a long look in his eyes.

He stroked my hair lovingly. "Let's make love, not tears."

xxxx

"I know you well enough to know that three times just isn't the charm and you want to go again." I told Dean, stroking his bare torso as he laid on top of me, stroking my hair.

Dean smiled at me. "Yes, well, I know you well enough to know that you want to lay here for a little longer, and call Jen back before we continue."

I kissed him softly. "I know you well enough to know that all this loving is working up an appetite and you'd like pie in bed."

Dean chuckled and grinned. "I know you well enough to know that you'll pull your 'Lana' face and whisper dirty things in my ear to make me go get the pie so you can stay in the bed and not move so much."

I giggled and nodded—so true. "I know you well enough to know that now that we've been bantering, you're ready to say loving things."

Dean kissed me softly. "I know you well enough to know that you're feeling sad about my time left, but you're pretending to be happy for me."

"I know you well enough to know that even though you don't always show it, besides Sam, I mean everything to you." I said, running my fingers along his bare torso some more.

"Isn't that a little conceited?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't deny it."

Dean chuckled and then kissed me again, only longer this time, opening up his mouth and letting me push my tongue in when I ran it along his bottom lip. He was always so willing to let me do whatever it was that I wanted and I just hoped that the closer it got to his time to leave me, the better we could handle this. Then he ran his nose along mine, and we looked each other in the eye.

"You mean everything to me—you and the baby." He said sincerely.

I nodded slowly. "I know."

"Even after all of this wonderful 'us' time…I seriously hate myself right now." Dean told me shaking his head. "You're being all understanding about my deal and telling me that I 'did what [I] thought [I] had to do' and I just…I was getting upset because you want so much from me, but you _should_ want that much from me. We created life, and I should be around to help raise him—teach him right from wrong and teach him how to hunt, and how to protect himself."

I nodded and shrugged. "Yeah, but me knowing how much you want that makes me feel a little better. I mean you want me, and you want the baby…you just had to make sure your baby brother was safe and I of all people _know _that. _Please _don't hate yourself, Dean. What's done is done and I want this time I spend with you to be _perfect _and I want you to be happy and to have forgiven yourself by the time our son is born."

"Speaking of our son and accepting things…you have a ritual to do tonight." Dean told me, kissing my nose. "Sam and I needed to look at that before you and Kate do it. I hate that you have to do this…but I understand. Your past affects our son's future."

"It affects _our_ future too." I reminded him, smiling sadly and returning the kiss when he kissed me firmly, murmuring that he loved me.

xxxx

When I got to Jen's, I sighed and she just nodded, Dean entered, hands in his pockets, followed by Sam and Kate—Sam of whom was upset. I had shown him the spell in its completeness and he didn't want Kate and me to go through with it. Dean didn't either, but he understood why I had to and though Sam understood too, he thought it was a bad idea and I got that.

"Annie is unloading to Kalli and Chase in the basement." Jen told me as I took off my jacket.

I nodded and smiled. "Good idea."

"I don't know enough about this rune." Sam said sternly.

"Oh well. We'll find out more when we activate it." Jen replied shrugging.

I took a deep breath. "Here goes nothing."

I started walking towards the basement, but Dean grabbed my hand, so I turned to him. He gave me a look and kissed me, keeping me close to him and then pulling back and looking me in the eye and I knew _exactly_ what the look meant. Dean didn't _have_ to verbalize it, but he was going to and I just smiled a little and nodded as he spoke.

"Please be careful." Dean whispered before going down to eye level with my stomach and kissing it softly as he stroked it. "Both of you."

I kissed him when he stood up, and he returned it lovingly. "I'm going to be fine—we _both_ will be." I promised, kissing him one last time. "Now go see the girls. You'll know when we're done."

He nodded and headed up the stairs, Sam kissing Kate and her telling him to stop being such a baby. It made me giggle a little softly because he just rolled his eyes and kissed her again, stroking her cheek and whispering that he wanted her to come out of this alive, which made me smile. Kate told him everything would be fine and then she came over to me and Jen, Sam going up to talk to Dean since he knew Dean was going to see Kaydence and Minah—whether he wanted anyone to know that or not, Kate, Jen and I going down to the basement.

"Please make her stop." Chase said as we entered the basement. "She won't stop."

"And Lana, I'm sorry. In High School _I'm_ the one that stole those black pumps of yours when you were looking for them for your date with Lance." Kalli admitted giving me that 'sorry' look of hers she was so good at—the one that made everyone forgive for.

Annie pointed to Kalli. "_She_ stole Mr. Benny Boo!"

I laughed loudly. "Kalli did? I thought Kate did."

"Why would I steal that smelly old thing?" Kate asked giving me a look.

"You _knew_ he was stolen? You told me he ran away!" Annie said angrily.

I smiled at her rolling my eyes. "Annie, I think you're old enough to know that teddy bears don't just get up and walk away."

"Lanni, I think you're old enough and you've experienced enough to know that they could." Annie replied giving me a look.

"Touche." I told her. "Now does anyone else have anything to confess?"

"I'm kind of evil." Kristin said shrugging.

I laughed shaking my head. "That's not a _confession_, Kristin—we _knew_ that."

She smiled at me as the others agreed and laughed, all of us _completely_ aware of what it was that made Kristin tick. She and Jen were only _half_ siblings, and though they loved and trusted each other, they both had their own little secrets because of their parentage and growing up half of the years without each other. Kristin looked at me though and I shrugged because I really didn't think I had anything to confess—I'd been being really truthful as of late.

"Well you could confess something, Lana—we all know you need to." Kristin offered with that look of hers.

I laughed and shrugged. "I don't actually really have anything to confess—I've been really honest with everyone as of late…I'm scared my husband's going to die and I'm scared my son's going to turn out evil but…everyone knows that, so shall we?"

Jen nodded, and so we all sat down on the drawn out pentagram, me standing in the middle with the knife. She and I had gone over the ritual over and over again and we were _certain_ about what it was that we needed to do. I looked at the knife hesitantly and then glanced at my stomach, wishing that this wasn't going to make me feel as bad as it was making me feel right then.

"We each have to shed blood, and then chant in old Latin, and when Victoria decides to show herself, Annie and I will unite the rune in the middle." I explained to them.

Victoria stepped out of the shadows and laughed when Chase did. We all looked at them, incredibly annoyed because this was important and we really didn't need any of Chase's or Victoria's crap right then. Still, I decided to humor her so I looked at her and took a deep breath, both of us making eye contact.

"What?" I asked her.

"You and Jen have to be in the middle." Victoria explained to us. "Kristin and I are simply back-up if you fail. Why? You'll find out when we activate the rune—however, Kristin and I will not be helping to actually activate it."

We all looked at each other as Kristin nodded and stood up. "We have to be in balance—the pentagram is going to be more of a giant triangle."

"But isn't good and evil in balance with you two in on this?" I asked, tired of everyone else knowing everything else before I did.

"All your answers will come to you when you do the ritual—_all_ of them." Victoria told me cryptically. "If I'm right…"

I frowned and gave her a look. "That sounded ominous, and terribly risky."

"So we're not filling out the pentagram?" Jen asked aloud, voicing all of our concerns.

Kristin shook her head. "Just make a triangle—Lana and Jen in the middle—grasp hands, shed the blood, and Lana and Jen will chant."

Jen raised an eyebrow. "Why do I feel like this is a trap?"

"Because evil told us to do it?" Kalli offered.

Kate nodded quickly. "That's _exactly_ why I'm not sure if we should do this now."

Jen and I exchanged looks as we took in the new information and we both knew what the other was thinking. Having the two of _us_ in the middle meant that one of us was evil and one of us was good and it was pretty obvious _which one_ of us was evil. I didn't want it to be true, but I knew that if it came down to it…_I_ was the one tainted by evil.

"Come on sis—you and Lana _need_ to do this." Kristin pushed shrugging and smiling sadly. "If not for you guys then for your offspring."

Jen sighed loudly, nodding in agreement. "It's for our children."

"Yes it is. Let's get started." I said nodding, then I took the knife and handed it to Kate, who looked at Kalli, who nodded too.

"They have to be knocked out." Kalli told me.

"We don't trust them here with the rune." Kate added shrugging. "Them being evil and everything kind of loses them the respect and trust."

"Good point." I told them, and then chanted for a moment, a force field going up around us all. "Now even if we pass out, you can't steal the rune."

Kristin faked a hurt look. "How can you not trust me?"

"We _know_ you, Sis." Jen explained to her.

Kristin and Jen smiled at each other, and then Jen and I stood in the middle, Annie, Kalli and Kate around us in a triangle, hands out, palms up. Starting with Annie and ending with me, we each sliced our palms, and dripped our blood into the center. Jen and I then placed our hands on the rune, and started chanting in Latin. The winds whipped up around us, and we all looked around at each other, passing out on the floor as the chant ended and the sound of thunder could be heard, a bolt of lightening striking outside.

xxxx

When I woke up, the girls and I were in a large gray room and it felt ominously like the place I'd seen when I'd died—it was just _gray _instead of white. Jen got up right after me, and then Kalli, Kate, and then Annie, them looking around as I took it all in. Obviously this was some kind of representation of neutral ground—the black and white of everything colliding in peace.

"Welcome." Came an unfamiliar female voice.

We all looked over to see two women—one clad in black, the other clad in white. Jen and I exchanged glances and nodded at each other, both of us aware that it was definitely good and evil, and that the rune was important. How it was important to _us_ was about to be determined and we knew we had to pay attention, so we gave the women our full consideration.

"Seems our own flesh and blood has decided to activate our rune." The woman in black said, and it was obvious that she was not the one to welcome us. "Lana, Kate, Kalli and Annie? I'm Vanessa Redgrove—your ancestor."

"Jennifer? I'm Laraina Fugit—_your_ ancestor." The woman in white told her pleasantly.

Jen nodded slowly. "So this the 'balance', huh? Good and evil?"

I looked at the woman in black. "Great…evil really _does _run in the family…doesn't it?"

"It really does." Vanessa replied nodding and looking me over. "Laraina and I created the rune so good and evil witches would be in balance with each other—stop fighting each other when there's more in this world to fight."

"I should have known that with my karma, evil would run in my blood." I sighed loudly. "It's times like these I understand my occasional pessimism."

Laraina smiled at me warmly. "Don't be silly Lana—dark magic may run in your veins, but good and evil are _choices_. _You_ are the _only_ one who can choose between them."

"Even so, the rune is unbalanced now, and our bloodline has a secret that now has to be explained." Vanessa explained, shooting Laraina a look like she _wanted_ me to pick her over 'good'.

"Actually, every unbalanced witch has this problem—yours is just more severe because of your powers…because of your demon halves." Laraina corrected her.

"You have a dark side—all four of you. Jennifer doesn't have anything to worry about because she's the epitomy of white magic, and apparently _very_ good at getting over dark magic addictions." Vanessa confessed, definitely impressed by her.

I nodded at her. "I really _don't_ want 'Dark Lana' to come back again…how do I stop that?"

"Lana's got a point—you have to tell us how to keep our Dark Sides at bay. I snapped last time and it wasn't pretty." Annie admitted to Vanessa.

"I have a son to raise." I said softly. "I can't take the chance that my darker side will take over and raise him _for_ me…I can _not_ fall into my Dad's plans for me."

Vanessa smiled at me. "Being evil isn't all bad, Lana…but if that is what you _truly_ want…you have to find the way to become one with your other half all on your own. Every unbalanced witch has this problem…and each one has to find the answer to solving it because each one is different. You have it inside of each of you, to become who you were meant to be in the first place."

"You five have to make a choice. If you have to—break the rune." Laraina explained to us. "It's dangerous, and if it comes down to being in _your_ hands, or falling into someone else's…the power _must_ be taken in—but it can only be taken in and controlled _completely_ by one in our bloodline…by one of _you_."

With that, we were each given a couple of important memory gifts, and sent back, knowing that our ancestors gave us the memories so we could do the same things with our lives. When we got up off of the floor, we all looked at each other and I let the force field down, Kate grabbing the rune quickly. We all wanted it to be safe, and we all knew that it was time to talk about what 'gifts' we'd been bestowed with.

"So what now? Laraina's memory gift for me showed me that my girls are more important than hunting." Jen explained slowly. "That mean's I'm officially always putting _them_ first…they're my life and I have to keep them safe, and that means keeping myself alive."

Kate nodded at her and looked at the rune. "Vanessa's memory gift for me is that I'm leading the vampire armies now, with this…I just don't understand why she picked _me_ to do that…I just want to hunt with Sammy…to eventually _settle down_ with Sammy."

"I'm taking Chase." Kalli explained and then she turned to her sister. "Wait a minute—how come _you_ get to lead the vampire army? I was just as badly wounded when that vampire took pity on us and gave us his blood, so technically _I'm _half vampire too."

"My memory gift—my power." Kate shrugged, still looking at the rune and taking it all in, trying to face her past.

"You know, I'm a human being," Chase began, "so I think I should decide whether or not I belong to someone other than myself."

Kalli sent him a look. "Chase? My memory gift was about a dark, mysterious man—you now belong to me. Besides—you're not human anymore."

Annie laughed and shrugged. "Seems even, I think."

Kate nodded and pocketed the rune. "I guess so."

"I guess it is too—you get the power and I get the man." Kalli mused and then sighed and nodded. "All right, I guess I'm okay with that."

I looked at my hands and Jen pointed out of the basement as memories started to cloud my head. Vanessa had special plans for me because I was the eldest of the descendants she had left—because Azazel was my father and I was more powerful than Annie. She wanted me to make her another legacy—wanted me to embrace that I had evil in me, and to accept that Annie did too and raise my son _knowing _that.

"I need to go." I told Jen, rubbing my temples.

Jen sighed and nodded, and I headed upstairs, Sam waiting for me. He looked at my hand and smiled a sad smile, and tucked hair behind my ear in a very brotherly fashion. Kate came in and smiled at him as he got some gauze to patch up my hand and he beamed at her, glad to see that she and I only had wounds on our hands from the blood part of the spell. She sat down next to me and he started to tend to Kate first, me just looking at my hands and running the memory over and over again in my head.

"Dean's waiting at your house—he and I decided that he should be there for us when you guys were done and I brought you back, and I looked after the girls." Sam told me. "What happened exactly?"

"I'll let Kate explain things to you, and I'll explain things to Dean when we get home." I said, running my hands along my stomach.

Sam nodded too, and we headed to the house only to find a note from Dean—he was gone on an errand. He had left to bring me back some pie since he thought I'd need it after the ritual, and so I went up to my bedroom and went to wrap my hand. I washed my hand first and then put antibiotic ointment on it, wrapping it up since I had let Sam finish wrapping up Kate's hand and then really wanted to get home.

I looked up abruptly while wrapping my hand as Dean came in and I smiled at him even though I was feeling sad. Suddenly it just felt like I was going to crush any hope that he had left if I told him the truth, but I'd _break_ if I wasn't honest with him. We'd been doing so _well_ at being there for each other and after everything I'd just seen and heard I _really_ needed him…and it hurt that when he was gone for good someday I wouldn't be able to have him when I needed him.

"They had like 12 different flavors!" He exclaimed, but his face quickly changed when my lip quivered. "What's wrong? Is the baby okay?"

I smiled weakly and nodded. "The baby's fine—I promise. It's just that activating the rune had consequences I wasn't quite expecting…well…even though I totally _knew_ it would turn out this way."

"Like what?" Dean asked, pulling out a box of apple pie.

I took a deep breath and looked him directly in the eye trying _so_ hard not to lose it right then. He knew something was seriously wrong with me, so he took my hand in his and squeezed it, making sure he wasn't hurting my bandaged hand. Dean had known that there would be some blood needing to be spilled in the ritual, and he was here for me…he always knew _just what to say to make me feel better_.

"Johnny's going to be evil if you die and leave me alone." I told him sadly. "I don't have what it takes to raise him good—not when evil runs through my veins, Dean."

Dean sighed and ran his hand down his face. "I need more of an explanation than that."

I nodded and took a deep breath. "The epitome of good and evil forged the rune, and were related to Jen and I—evil to me, and good to Jen. I just…I don't _want_ to know any more about me, or about my ancestors, Dean. I keep getting let down, and it makes me feel like I'm ruining your life."

Dean kissed me softly. "Lana, you are _not_ your ancestors. You are a beautiful, young woman, with a sense of humor, a stubborn streak, a big heart, and…well lets just say that I like looking at you naked."

He smiled, and then wiggled his eyebrows, which made me laugh and I knew that was what he was trying to do and I appreciated it. After everything that I had learned and after everything I had to cope with, I _needed _a good little playful laugh. Dean stroked my hair with one hand, and rubbed my stomach with the other one, kissing me gently again.

"I love you, Lanni. I don't give a rat's ass if you've got 'evil blood', and I don't care that your dad was the demon, or that your mother was a powerful witch with a dark streak. You are still the woman I'm in love with, and you are going to raise our son to be just as good as you are—which is damn good. I _hate_ that you doubt your abilities so much, Baby." He told me softly.

He started saying something else, but I kissed him because he'd said enough. Yeah I hated it too when he doubted himself, but I think that was just part of it…part of why we loved each other and we were there for each other—we were the optimism the other needed when they were down. He chuckled a little, kissing me back, me tugging on his shirt a little, both of us falling back onto the bed.

"You are the most amazing, handsome man, I have ever had the honor and pleasure to meet, fall in love with, marry and sleep with—_you_ are my _perfect_ match." I told him, stroking his cheek.

He smiled genuinely and sincerely. "That's because we're soul mates."

**Note: I hope you enjoyed that even though it kind of leaves you with an ominous feeling doesn't it? What could that mean for future chapters? Well more is coming, I promise! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	59. Bedtime Stories For the Dark at Heart

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay so this chapter, has a cliffy, I'm warning you now.**

**After the rune stuff and Lana learning about her ancestors' 'evil', there is a bit she has to learn to cope with.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

I snuggled up against Dean in the middle of the night, and he wrapped his arms around me. I knew his thoughts were somewhere else, and so I turned over and propped my head up on my hands. He wasn't sleeping and so I knew that his being responsive to me was really just because he needed to talk and I didn't mind that in the slightest—as far as I was concerned, talking was good.

"Okay, no one is sleeping, so tell me what's up, okay?" I told Dean, stroking his hair.

He smiled a little. "I had an interesting dream tonight."

"About what?" I asked, smiling since he seemed so happy.

"Our son." Dean replied as he ran his hand down my arm and rested his hand on my stomach. "He's going to be handsome like me."

I laughed a little. "Well he does have some pretty superb genes if it's not too bold for me to say."

"You would say it even if you _knew_ it was too bold to say." Dean told me.

I laughed a little and shrugged a bit because he really did know me a little _too_ well—when it came to our son nothing was _too_ bold. Besides, I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't dreamt about what our son could potentially look like and we were both thinking about each other's best features mixing together to make the cutest baby ever. Dean smiled at me and he kissed me softly as I shrugged again, me returning the kiss and nuzzling his nose with mine.

"Guilty as charged." I whispered.

He nodded as he chuckled again. "Should we just go ahead and head out to the next hunt?"

"With me? In the middle of the night? Absolutely—no one's sleeping anyway." I said, a grin on my face and I shrugged.

"Lana…" Dean said in that commanding voice of his.

"Dean, don't—I won't fight, I promise. I know we need to protect our son and I want him born, but…I can't be away from you when your time is counting down." I told him firmly. "I _have_ to be around you."

He nodded after a pause and kissed me softly, and I returned it, both of us kissing each other for a little while before getting up and getting ready to go. Sam was downstairs on the couch flipping through papers and on his laptop and I smiled, and then wondered where Kate was. They normally did this late night research together, but maybe she was _actually_ getting herself some well-deserved shut-eye.

"Found anything more?" I asked him, sitting down next to him. "And where is Kate?"

Sam looked at me. "She's packing up so we can be ready in the morning but from the looks of it…you guys want to head out too."

"Absolutely." I said, smiling at him and running my fingers through his hair. "Seems like we all wanna just get out on the road…you're gonna…fight with him, aren't you?"

"I don't understand why _you_ haven't brought it up with him yet." Sam told me, both of us aware of _what_ it was that we were talking about.

The two of us were on the _same page_ here—we had the Colt up and working and we wanted to try it out…we wanted Dean out of his deal. We all wanted him to live, but Kate was the _most_ weary of the plan—she was worried about Dean's other part of the deal…she was worried about us tinkering away and making it so that Sam was dead again, and she didn't want that. None of us did, but Sam and I _both _wanted to try the Colt out on a crossroads demon and we had a feeling that Dean would _not_ go for that.

Sam grabbed his bags and took them to the Impala, and I sighed—there was going to be a fight I couldn't stop. So I sucked it up, and locked up the house, all of us piling into the car and making sure we were ready to head out for this next bit of traveling. Sam of course had _perfect _timing, and once we were out on the actual road, he spoke up and we all knew what was coming.

"Let's get you out of your deal." Sam told him, and I sighed yet again—here we go.

"No, Sam." Dean told him firmly. "We are not screwing with this deal."

"I don't understand, Dean." Sam said angrily. "Why not?"

Dean sighed loudly. "Because I said so."

"We got the colt now." Sam argued, giving Dean a look as Kate and I exchanged looks of our own.

"Sam." Dean told him sternly.

Sam didn't give up though. "We can summon the crossroads demon—"

"—we're not summoning anything." Dean cut him off, but Sam kept going as if Dean hadn't said anything.

"—pull the gun on her, and force her to let you out of the deal." Sam tried loudly.

"We don't know if that'll work!" Dean cried, matching Sam's volume.

"We'll just shoot her! If she dies, the deal goes away!" Sam replied, voice raised.

"We don't know if that will work either, Sam! All you're pitching me is a bunch of 'ifs' and 'maybes'! And that's not good enough! Because if we screw with this deal, you die!" Dean reminded him.

Kate swallowed as Sam continued to yell at his brother and I understood that—we were all freaked out about it, but Kate the most. Dean had made this deal to keep Sam _alive_, and he didn't want _anything_ to screw with that. I didn't want Sam dead because he was my Sammy, and I knew I didn't want to be without his company, and then Kate…Kate was falling in love with him and she wanted Sam alive no matter what.

"And if we don't screw with it, you die!" Sam told Dean, really hurting.

Dean sighed loudly. "Sam, enough! I'm not gonna have this conversation!"

"Why? Because you said so?" Sam asked him angrily.

"Yes, because I said so!" Dean yelled.

Sam scoffed. "Well, you're not Dad!"

"No, but I am the oldest, and I'm doing what's best! You got to let this go. You understand me?" Dean asked him, but Sam didn't answer, so Dean changed the subject since I had decided to keep my mouth shut, Kate not knowing what to say as she bit her lip and closed her eyes. "Tell me about the psychotic killer…come on, Sam tell me about the psychotic killer."

Sam sighed and complied, reading the description. "The psychotic killer rips victims apart with brute-like ferocity."

"Okay, any mention of his razor-sharp teeth or his 4-inch claws, animal eyes?" Dean asked him.

"No. The lunar cycle's right. Look, if it is a werewolf, we don't have long. Moon's full this Friday, and that's the last time it changes for a month." Kate explained, trying to show that she was into the hunt and trying to keep the subject from changing back.

I nodded as I caught on to what she was trying to do. "Two days. No sweat."

xxxx

When we got there to talk to the man, Kyle, that had been attacked, Dean spoke first, all four of us taking out our fake badges, all of us dressed up in pant suits, ready to work. It was getting to the point where I was pretty certain I would need to start the shopping for new clothes, but the slight discomfort, I would have to deal with for now. We were here to do a hunt, and soon I could undo my pants and change into something more comfortable.

"I'm Detective Plant." Dean said, pointing to Sam next, and then me. "This is Detective Page, Detective Bonham and Detective Jones."

I had to hold back a snicker when I realized he was referencing Led Zeppelin members, and then I spoke up when Kyle looked at the grin on my face, and wiped it off. We were supposed to be being professional, but it was always cute to see my husband go off on one of his band rants—even if he was just using band member names.

"We're with the county sheriff's department." I explained.

"Yeah, I've been expecting you." Kyle told us.

"Yeah?" Dean asked.

Kyle nodded. "All morning. You are the sketch artists, right?"

"Absolutely. Yeah." Dean said as Sam nodded. "That is exactly who my partner is." He added, Sam giving him a strange look. "The things he can do with a pen, huh! But listen, before we get started on that, I wanted to ask you…how'd you get away?"

"I…I have no idea." Kyle replied shaking his head. "I was hiding, and he found me. He was coming right for me, and then he just stopped—stared at me with this blank look—and after that, he just took off running."

"Okay…um, I'm gonna need as much physical details as you can remember." Sam told him, pulling a notebook out of his pocket.

"He was about 6 feet tall…dark hair." Kyle began while Sam scribbled on his notebook.

Sam nodded. "Um, what about his eyes? What color eyes did he have?"

"Maybe...blue?" He said, hesitating as Sam repeated his answer. "It was dark."

"Did they seem, uh, animal-ish?" Dean intervened.

"Excuse me?" Kyle asked very perplexed.

I nodded and continued for him. "What about his teeth? You notice anything strange about them?"

Kyle shook his head. "No, they were just teeth."

"Teeth. Okay." Sam said nodding.

"How about his fingernails?" Kate asked him.

"Okay, look, he's…he's just a normal guy with normal eyes and teeth and fingernails." Kyle said.

"Look, sir, it's okay…" Sam started saying, but Kyle shook his head.

Kyle shook his head. "No. No. Those were my brothers. This guy…he killed my brothers. How would you feel?"

"Can't imagine anything worse." Sam answered honestly.

I nodded slowly. "I know this isn't easy, but if you could remember any more details…"

"There was one more thing. He had a…a tattoo on his arm of a cartoon character. Uh, ugh, it's the guy who…he's chasing the roadrunner." Kyle answered, trying to remember the name of the cartoon character.

I smiled and at the same time Dean and I said, "Wile E. Coyote."

Kyle nodded. "Yeah, that's it."

Then Dr. Garrison came into the room to check on Kyle, and Dean wanted to ask him a few questions as I tried to sort out the feelings—something really strange was going on here. That and I felt like the evil part of me was really trying to rear her ugly head…and then I felt it—I felt Johnny move. I smile stretched across my face and Kate looked at me as my hand went to my stomach, suddenly feeling like there was not a more amazing feeling in the world at all…my baby boy was moving in my stomach.

"How far along are you?" Kyle asked me as I went to look up at Kate and telling her what was happening.

I turned to him and smiled. "Actually…19 weeks."

He nodded slowly. "So you don't know what it is yet?"

I smiled a little more. "Actually, it's a boy."

"Your first?" Kyle asked me. "Sorry—it's none of my business."

I waved it off. "That's fine. It's my first child, yes—and my last."

"Again, none of my business…but if you want them, you should give him siblings." Kyle told me.

"I _do_ want to have more kids—but I don't think it's in the cards." I explained to him, smiling sadly, and Kyle nodded and then looked at Sam as Kate went to follow Dean to question Dr. Garrison too.

"Don't I get to see it?" Kyle asked Sam, talking about the sketch.

Sam nodded as I smirked a little. "Um, yeah, yeah. Uh, it's a, you know, work in progress."

"It's really..." Kyle began, but neither he nor I knew what to say when we saw Sam's practically stick figure drawing.

xxxx

"Are you okay?" Sam asked as we were standing outside the hospital a little later.

I looked at him. "Yeah, it's just—it's kind of surreal…I didn't get to feel this with Casey and it's magical and it's bittersweet and…I'm almost ready for a check-up, you know?"

Sam nodded and stroked my hair in his brotherly way. "I saw the look on your face back there, Lan."

"What's going on?" Dean asked, him and Kate joining us.

"I'm 19 weeks along today." I told him.

Dean paused, and his face changed. "You are, aren't you?"

I nodded and smiled. "It's just…I felt Johnny moving around and it's really amazing and yet…it's weird."

"And another sign that you're not fighting." Dean said, reaching for me and pulling me close to him, kissing me softly—he was happy and that made my heart warm and break all at once.

I smiled a little. "Yeah, but enough about me—look at Sammy's sketch."

Dean looked at it and laughed. "Boy, this is a piece of art, really."

"Yeah, like you could have done any better." Sam answered taking the notebook back. "So, what did the doc have to say about Kyle's brothers?"

"Not much. They were D.O.A., at the scene. He did give me and Kate the low-down on the coroner's report." Dean said nodding.

Sam nodded at him. "Let me guess. Their hearts were missing."

Kate shook her head. "Nope, but chunks of their kidneys, lungs, and intestines were."

I made a face. "That's just gross."

"Yeah, and definitely _not_ werewolf behavior." Dean told us.

Sam nodded at him. "So, what…a demon? Attacker could have been possessed."

"Why would a demon stop halfway through an attack?" Kate asked him, raising her eyebrows.

"I think that, uh, could've…yeah, I got nothing." Sam said, reaching out and resting his hand on the hip of hers farthest from her, bringing her to him and kissing the top of her head.

"Me, neither." Dean replied shaking his head.

I sighed and leaned on Dean. "Another weird case solved by the Winchesters."

Dean smiled at me. "How happy are you that you get to say that about yourself now too?"

I couldn't help but grin. "Sooooo happy."

Dean smiled and we all headed to a motel, me sitting on the bed and lifting my shirt up a little as Sam and Kate researched a little. I smiled as I felt the slight movement of Johnny again, and I ran my fingers along my stomach, glad to be out of the fancy pants and into something more comfortable. There was definitely some shopping to be done for some maternity clothes, and I _loved_ the idea of that.

"You're showing more than you were a couple weeks ago." Dean told me, sitting next to me, and touching my stomach.

I nodded at him. "Yeah, I am."

"Mind?" Sam asked me.

Dean and I looked up at him and both shook our heads, so Sam sat on the other side of me and all three of us felt my stomach. Kate smiled over at us, nodding and looking back at the laptop since she'd felt my stomach a lot before and Sam really hadn't. It was kind of nice that everyone was so excited, and I was beyond thrilled to get to go through this miracle finally.

"I really should be getting check-ups." I told them.

Sam nodded at that. "It's probably safe enough."

Dean nodded too. "I wouldn't mind getting another ultrasound—I mean when else will I ever get this opportunity again?"

"Thanks for ruining the moment." I replied, giving him a look but smiling a little.

Dean smiled a little. "Sorry, but you have to admit that it's a really good question."

"Yeah…it's a really good question." I admitted nodding.

"So maybe we should go back to the hospital and get you a check-up." Sam offered, taking his hand away.

"It's not like we'll be far away if something happens." Dean agreed.

I smiled and nodded again. "True—that hospital is bound to get more action today with something in our league—let's go."

Dean and I took our hands off of my stomach and I put my shirt back down, the four of us heading to the hospital and penciling me in. Because I was under cover, they let me in after a good fifteen minutes, and then I asked them to let Sam, Kate and Dean all be in the room with me. The nurse had me lie down and pull my shirt up, and put the cold jelly on my stomach, moving the utensil around, all four of us grinning when we heard the heartbeat.

"Wow." Dean breathed, kissing the hand he was holding.

Sam stroked my hair. "Sounds nice and strong."

Kate nodded and kissed my temple. "This is pretty amazing."

The nurse smiled and nodded. "It really is. And you see that? It's a boy."

She was pointing out his boy parts, and Dean looked rather prouder than I'd seen him in a long while. Sam and Kate looked excited too, to have a nephew, and I was just happy my son was healthy. At the same time I was a little worried…I was worried because my father had been right and because my son was going to have to choose between good and evil. How was I going to be able to do with without Dean there to help to raise his son?

"Could we get a copy or two, please?" I asked her.

She nodded. "Sure. Everything looks good. Your stress levels are a little high, but the fetus is fine."

"Thank you." I told her smiling, her smiling too, and I went to wipe the jelly off as she went to get us copies of the ultrasound.

"Wait." Dean said, and grabbed the utensil, moving it around, and looking at our son from a few different angles. "Do all humans look that non-human when they're this small?"

Sam, Kate and I laughed, and nodded, Dean smiling and nodding too, putting the utensil down and letting me wipe the jelly off. Then I sat up and Dean accepted the ultrasounds, both of us leaving our room and heading down a couple floors just in time to see some cops, meaning that someone else had been attacked. So we snuck into her room.

"We need to observe you while the drugs still may be in your system." Dr. Garrison told the young woman, who wanted to leave the hospital.

"I have things to do, arrangements I need to make." She tried desperately.

"It can wait. Now, you need to rest. Stay, please. I'll be back in a few minutes." He said before heading for the exit and noticing us. "Detectives."

"Dr. Garrison." I answered with a soft smile.

"What the hell's going on here? My whole town's going insane." Dr. Garrison said.

"We'll let you know as soon as we do." Sam explained and the doctor nodded, leaving so that we could all exchange looks.

"Miss Watson?" Dean asked, going up to her bed as he took his badge out. "Hi. Just need to ask you a few questions."

"Do we have to go over this again? Now?" She asked us, visibly distraught.

"We'll try to be brief." Sam answered quickly. "Miss Watson, can you tell us how you got away?"

"I didn't eat as much as Ken did, so I wasn't as out of it. And when the old woman was carving up Ken, I shoved her. And she fell, cracked her head on the stove. She's dead, right? I…I killed her?" She asked us.

I looked at her. "Do you have any idea why she did this to you?"

Honestly, it was these kinds of hunts that made my stomach all queasy—the kind with the freaked out witnesses whose lives were ruined. Sure, that was just about all of them, but this was getting weird, and I was worried about the mental stability of these people. They were losing family members that they held dear to their hearts, and I felt sick that anyone could do such a thing to them so viciously.

"No. One minute, she's just a sweet old lady, and the next, she was like a monster." She answered sincerely.

"Can you remember anything else?" Sam asked her.

She nodded out at him. "Um…yeah. Did you find a little girl there, by any chance?"

"A little girl? At the house?" Sam asked quite surprised.

"I thought I saw her outside the window. She…she just disappeared…just vanished into thin air. It must have been the drugs." The woman explained to us.

"This disappearing girl, what did…what did she look like?" Dean asked her slowly.

She looked at him funny. "Does it matter?"

"Yes, every detail matters." Sam and I replied.

"She had this dark, dark hair and really pale skin. She was around 8. She was a beautiful child. It was…odd to see her in the middle of something so horrible." She answered.

I nodded and thanked her for taking the time to tell us what we needed to know even though I knew it was hard for her, and then we went to go inspect the old lady's house. Kate and I had wheels turning in our heads because it seemed _so_ familiar, and yet so _alien_ all at the same time. Still, we wouldn't know until we checked it out, would we?

"You sure you want to go in?" Dean asked me when we got there.

I smiled at him. "Honey? It's deserted."

Sam nodded as he laughed a bit. "I really highly doubt she's going to get hurt at all."

Dean sighed loudly. "Fine…but stay close, okay?"

I rolled my eyes and kissed him, and the four of us went inside to search around. Sam was working hard with the EMF radar, and Dean and I searched for sulfur, but came up with nothing as Kate worked on the laptop, looking things up that way. The four of us worked _so_ well together, and I was glad to be here…I was glad to have them with me, and I was glad to be able to hunt _and_ protect myself and Johnny at the same time.

"Well, there's no sulfur anywhere. How about the EMF?" Dean asked Sam.

"Yeah, it's going nuts when I go over here by the window. There was definitely a spirit here." Sam told him.

I turned to him. "Who stood outside the crime scene and watched?"

"Looks like." Sam said nodding.

"What the hell do you make of that?" Dean asked him.

Sam turned to us. "Actually, I do have a theory. Uh, sort of."

"Hit me." Dean said, completely confused and it showed.

"Well, thinking about fairy tales." Sam told him.

Kate and I both looked at each other and smiled, both of us suddenly realizing _why _it felt _so_ familiar to us—fairy tales. We were both _incredibly_ versed in fairy tales because we were used to them…we related to the Grimm's Brothers by blood…this was just something we understood. Still, _why_ would the fairy tales be kind of coming to life and lashing out so violently? What was behind _that_?

Dean's face changed. "Oh, that's…that's nice. You think about fairy tales often?"

"No, Dean, I'm talking about the murders. A guy and a girl hiking through the woods. An old lady tries to eat them. That's Hansel and Gretel." Sam explained.

"Exactly!" I said, Dean turning to me. "Then we got the three brothers arguing over how to build houses attacked by the big bad wolf."

"Three little pigs." Dean said slowly.

Kate nodded. "Yeah, exactly."

"Actually, those guys were a little chubby. Well, wait, I thought all those things ended with everybody living happily ever after." Dean said, Kate, Sam and I shaking our heads at him.

"No, no. Not the originals. See, the Grimm Brothers' stuff was kind of like the folklore of its day…full of sex, violence, cannibalism. I love those Grimm Brothers." I told him happily. "Then again I can't _not_ love them."

Kate smiled at me. "Same here."

Sam smiled at us. "Then it got sanitized over the years, turned into Disney flicks and bedtime stories."

Dean nodded, taking it all in. "So, you think the murders are what, a re-enactment? It's a little crazy."

"As crazy as what? Every day of our lives?" Sam asked him, getting ready to head back on out since we'd gotten all we needed.

Dean nodded. "Touché. How's the creepy ghost girl involved?"

"Um, she must have been here for a reason. I'm willing to bet you top dollar she was at the construction site, too." Kate told him shrugging. "The last bit of the puzzle is figuring out why and _how_ this is all happening."

Dean made a face. "We got to do research now, don't we?"

Sam and I laughed, and headed off to the library after Kate, Dean in tow.

xxxx

A little while later, Sam and I stood outside the library waiting for Dean and Kate to come out, Sam giving me looks. The four of us had a habit of splitting up in all different sorts of ways, and this time it was Sam and me, and then Kate and Dean.

"So you want another kid after this one?" Sam asked me.

I nodded at him. "Of course I do, but…Dean is dying, and I _can't_. I always wanted four, honestly—all through High School—but life happens and one is all I can handle without him, you know?"

"So are you stopping hunting after this?" Sam asked me, not wanting to pretend even for a moment that we'd lose Dean, but having too.

"I might, honestly." I admitted with a shrug. "I mean I never thought of my life without it—not until I fell in love with Dean. It's been fun, and it's been not fun, and it's been fulfilling, but I can't do this forever—I want to raise a family, and if he's going to die, Sammy…I'm keeping my baby out of harm's way."

Sam smiled at me. "I think we all want that someday—a family to call our own."

I laughed at him. "To be honest, I don't think Dean will ever want to just settle down—he's a restless soul. Then again—I love him that…way…"

"What is it?" Sam asked, focusing on me as I trailed off.

I took a deep breath and tried to suppress the sudden urge to strike, and I looked at him. Things were starting to make sense—especially since the other part of me was finding amusement in all of this. Every once in a while I had little spasms of amusement in other people's pain—ever since we activated the rune. I was worried about that because I was worried about what would happen if my other half took over, and this was one of those moments.

"Something not so big is going on here. What I mean is—we need to stop it, but it's not as big as some of our other hunts." I explained to him.

"How do you know that?" Sam asked me slowly, worried and I knew it.

I sighed and looked at him sadly. "I've been having little evil spurts lately. When things really get to me, I can feel this, almost loss of control, but so far Dark Lana's suppressed. She's excited though."

"Any idea if she knows what it is? And can I tell you how weird that sentence was to say?" Sam asked with a slight smile.

I laughed a little. "Oh I understand how weird it is—I feel schizophrenic when I talk about my other half."

Sam laughed too. "Yeah, that's a little schizo."

"Whoa." I said, holding my head. "There she goes again. Dean must be onto something."

"Have you told Dean about any of this yet?" Sam asked me.

I nodded truthfully. "Yeah…I already told him—we really don't have the time to be untruthful, and I feel bad enough when I _don't_ talk to him."

At that moment as Sam nodded and I felt good knowing that I _had_ told my husband before my brother-in-law, Dean and Kate came out and we started walking through the forest-like area back towards the car. We really needed to get on this hunt and hopefully Kate and Dean had found something because Lord only knew that Sam and I hadn't found much. The two of us had mostly talked about things, and that was good because we'd needed to be close lately.

"So?" Sam asked them.

"Checked every record they had. Found the usual amount of violent childhood deaths for a town this size." Kate said shrugging.

Sam nodded. "Okay."

"Do you want to know how many were little girls with black hair and pale skin? Zero, they say in unison. Do you want to know how many little girls with black hair and pale skin have gone missing? Right again. Zip, zilch, nada. Tell me you got something good, 'cause we've totally wasted the last six hours." Dean told him.

I smiled at him. "Well, you ever hear of Lilian Bailey? She was a British medium from the 1930s."

"She got a thing for fairy tales?" Dean asked me.

Sam shook his head. "No, trances. See she'd go into these unconscious states where, um…get this…her thoughts and actions were completely controlled by spirits."

"A ghost puppet master?" Dean asked him.

I nodded. "Yeah…pretty much."

"You think that's what this kid is doing? Sending wolf boy and grandma into trances and making them go kill-crazy?" Dean asked us.

Sam shrugged. "It could be. You know, kind of like a spirit hypnosis or something."

Dean nodded. "Trances I get, but fairy-tale trances? That's bizarre, even for us."

We all stopped walking though, hearing the croaking of a huge frog—or toad—and we stared at it intently. Honestly it wasn't like we _couldn't_ run into a frog out here, but it was kind of strange given that we were dealing with _fairy tales_. A frog out here in the middle of nowhere was kind of…it was kind of strange to be honest.

"Yeah, you're right. That's completely normal." I told Dean, giving him a look.

Dean made a face. "Alright, maybe it is fairy tales…totally messed-up fairy tales. I'll tell you one thing. There's no way I'm kissing a damn frog."

"Hell no!" I said, throwing my hands up in the air. "Just because the girl does it in all the stories, doesn't mean I will. I have my…kind of prince, thank you—Kate can do it."

"I'm _not_ kissing a damn frog!" Kate exclaimed, shaking her head vigorously.

"_Kind_ of prince?" Dean asked me.

"Hey, check that out." Sam said, pointing at a pumpkin on the front porch of a house and thankfully changing the subject.

"Yeah, it's close to Halloween." Dean told him.

"You remember Cinderella? The pumpkin that turns into a coach and the mice that become horses." He added, and a mouse went past the pumpkin as if on cue.

I smiled and nodded. "Huh…this is getting a little creepy, guys."

"Dude, could you be more gay? Don't answer that." Dean told Sam.

I smacked his arm. "Hey! I can totally vouch that Sam is _so_ not gay—Hell Kate could vouch for it better than I could."

I winked at Sammy as my eyes traveled below his belt and he blushed, Dean pointing at me as Kate gave me a look. Sam was hers, and I was _not_ allowed to eye him no matter _what_ and I got that—I'd be upset if she randomly checked out Dean. So I just shrugged at her and sent her a 'sorry' with my eyes and then looked at Dean as he gave me a look.

"No." He told me.

"Sorry…just with the right clothes, Sammy would make a really attractive Prince Charming." I said shrugging. "Not a retarded one, or one on drugs, but an _actual_ Prince Charming."

Dean's face got sterner. "No—and since when?"

"She's never told you this?" Kate asked him, laughing a little. "Lana _hates_ the Prince Charmings in the fairy tales."

"Well I mean think about it, guys. In 'Cinderella', he falls in love with her in like ten minutes, but he obviously doesn't love her enough to remember what the Hell she looked like. Then in 'Snow White' he feel in love with her voice but did you _hear_ the pipes the Disney one had—he was _obviously_ under the influence of some crack." I explained and then I shrugged it off and pointed to the house. "We should go in."

Dean nodded. "You wait here. If something is really dangerous inside, then you really have to stay here."

"All right." I told him sincerely, feeling Dark Lana trying to rear her ugly head. "Go."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Too easy."

I faked a hurt look. "I am _not_ easy."

Dean rolled his eyes and kissed me swiftly, and then he. Kate and Sam took off into the house, returning a little later, all of us walking to the Impala as they told me what happened with the girl being beaten by her stepmother and then the dark haired, pale, beautiful little girl turning into a shiny red apple.

"Seriously?" I asked them. "Really pale? Dark hair? Apple?"

"Paramedics picked up Cinderella." Sam said, and Kate nodded.

Dean nodded too. "That's good. So? Little girl; shiny red apple. That means something to you, fairy-tale boy?"

"Who can't pick out Snow White? 'Skin as white as snow; hair as black as night; lips as red as the red, red rose'. Which I think is really redundant to say, but to be fair it's a children's story." I explained, and Sam smiled at me and nodded.

"Snow White? Oh, I saw that movie. Oh, the porn version, anyways. There was this wicked stepmother…woo, she was wicked." Dean said.

I made a face. "You ever wonder how _I_ feel about your porn? I'm ugly, aren't I?"

"Baby, you're not! I saw that a long time ago!" Dean protested. "_Before_ you!"

I nodded slowly. "So I can burn your hidden, 'Busty Asian Beauties' magazines?"

"There is a wicked stepmother, and she tries to kill Snow White with a poison apple." Sam said, changing the subject back to the important case as Kate laughed and Dean and I turned to him.

"But the apple doesn't actually kill the girl, right?" Dean asked him.

Kate shook her head. "No—puts her into a deep sleep. So deep that it's almost like she's dead, but she isn't."

"Then the prince—some guy like Sammy—gave her the kiss of true love and she woke up, and they got married. Well in the Grimm version it wasn't that easy, but what would I know about easy? My boobs are tiny—definitely not busty." I told Dean, getting into the car as he sighed.

Kate laughed again loudly, entertained by what was going on, and I smiled a little as Dean shot me a look, Johnny moving in my stomach. It still felt just as amazing as it had before and though no one else could feel him yet, I could, and I knew that I was going to protect him with all that I had, no matter what. I put my headphones in to listen to my music as we drove to the hospital, and had them check if they had any comatose little girls checked in.

"No, sorry. We don't have any comatose little girls." The nurse at the reception station told us.

"You sure?" Sam asked her.

She nodded. "Totally. It's mostly old guys, and, well, Callie. She's been around since before I started here."

"Callie?" Kate asked the nurse, the wheels turning in her head already.

"It's so sad. And poor Dr. Garrison…he just won't give up on her." The nurse explained.

"Was Callie one of his patients?" Sam asked her.

The nurse shook her head. "No, his daughter."

Suddenly everything came into reality for me as we headed away from the desk after Sam asked what room she was in so we could pay our respects. Kate had already figured it out, and I was suddenly feeling like there was something a little deeper, but that it was definitely Callie. But why…and how?

"So somehow, Callie must be killing people without knowing that she's really doing it." I said out loud.

"We'll know in a moment." Dean told me, and we arrived at Callie's door just in time to hear Dr. Garrison reading out loud to her from a 'Grimm Fairy Tales' book.

"The huntsman stepped inside, and in the bed lay the wolf. So, the huntsman took a pair of scissors and cut open the wolf's belly." Dr. Garrison read.

I looked at the teenage girl as Sam and Dean did, and we realized that she looked a little like Snow White—pale skin, dark, dark hair. Dr. Garrison noticed us standing there, and came over to us, closing the book. She was hearing the stories and she was retaliating, and that meant that there was some deep reason as to _why_ she was doing such a thing. Something _tragic _happened to her, and I was kind of feeling like the sooner I got out of this business, the better for me…the better for me, and the better for Johnny.

"Detectives, can I help you?" Dr. Garrison asked us.

"We just heard that Callie is your daughter." Dean answered nodding in the direction of Callie lying there comatose on the hospital bed.

"And we wanted to say how very sorry we are." Sam added nodding.

I nodded too. "It must be incredibly hard."

"Well, uh, thank you. If you'll excuse me." He told us, and went past us out of the room.

"Oh, we're heading this way." Dean told him, ready to work. "We'll walk with you. How long has Callie been like that?"

"We…we don't mean to intrude." Kate intervened, shooting Dean a look.

I nodded at him. "We can't possibly understand how hard it must be for you seeing her like this."

"Yeah, it's not easy. She's uh…been here since she was 8 years old." Dr. Garrison replied.

"That's when she was poisoned?" Sam asked him.

Dr. Garrison nodded. "Yeah, swallowed bleach. Never figured out how she got her hands on the bottle. My wife found her, brought her to the E.R. here, and I was on call."

"Your wife was, uh…was that Callie's stepmother?" Dean asked him.

Dr. Garrison looked at him funny. "Actually, yes. How'd you know that?"

Dean smiled a little and shrugged. "Lucky guess."

"Well, Julie was the only mother that Callie ever knew. My wife passed away last year, and, uh, it's just my daughter and me now. She's all I got left. Um, excuse me. I've got to get back to work." He said, and left.

I nodded and closed my eyes for a moment as Dark Lana seemed to mock me, and the three of us kept walking as I recovered. These were the kinds of things that I _never_ wanted my son to have to know, but at the same time I knew I wanted him to be aware…I wanted him to be able to defend himself. Mostly, I just wanted to _not_ be the _only_ one making the decisions for how Johnny was going to be raised.

"Well, you three are right. It's Snow White in spades." Dean said nodding.

Sam nodded too. "Yep—Stepmom poisons the girl, puts her into a deep sleep. What's the motive, you think?"

"It could be like Mischa Barton. Sixth sense, not The O.C." Dean told us.

I laughed at that. "What?"

"Hey, you guys know fairy tales. I know movies. She played the pasty ghost. Remember the mom had that thing, you know, where you keep the kid sick so you get all the attention?" Dean asked us.

Kate laughed a little. "Yeah, uh…Munchausen's syndrome by proxy. Huh, could be."

"So, say, all these years Callie's been suffering silently because nobody knows the truth about what mommy dearest did." Dean suggested.

I nodded at that. "And after all this time, her spirit just gets angrier and angrier until it finally just starts lashing out."

"Meanwhile, she has to listen to dad tell her deranged stories about a rabid wolf or a cannibalistic old lady. It's enough to drive anybody nuts." Dean said nodding.

"Not to mention the stories about the stepmothers that hurt their stepdaughters—it would just remind her of what her own stepmother did." Kate said as she looked at me and the look on my face.

Sam nodded too. "Okay, but how are we gonna stop her? I mean, Callie is stuck here. Her father's keeping her body alive."

"That does make it hard to burn the bones." Dean said nodding.

"You think?" Sam told him, giving him a look.

Just then, the paramedics brought in an old lady who was attacked in a parking lot, and I smiled a little, quickly wiping it away when I realized what I was doing. I was smiling at someone in pain and I hadn't been completely in control of it…which meant that I was closer to my fear than I had thought that I was.

"Is that a bite?" Dr. Garrison asked.

The paramedic nodded. "Looks like she was mauled by a mad dog or maybe a wolf."

Dean turned to us. "What was the last story Dr. Garrison was reading Callie?"

"Little Red Riding Hood." Sam and Kate answered together.

I realized that Dark Lana was rather excited that the old lady was dead, and then showed my fake badge with Sam, Kate and Dean so we could get a little more info about her. This was important, and I _knew_ it, but part of me didn't care…part of me wanted me to realize that this happened _all_ the time and that it would happen with or without me there. I understood that but I was a _Hunter_—I _had_ to believe that I could make a difference…but what about after Johnny was born?

"Excuse me. Was she the only victim?" Sam asked the paramedic.

The paramedic nodded. "She was found by the side of the road, barely alive. Alone."

"We need to find her next of kin." Dean said firmly.

"She has a granddaughter." The paramedic answered.

"Do you have an address?" Dean asked him, and the paramedic gave it to him. "Thank you."

"Thanks." Sam and I added as we walked away.

Dean lowered his voice a little to us. "You two find a way to stop Callie, alright?"

"What about you and Kate?" Sam asked him.

"I'm gonna go stop the big bad wolf…which is the weirdest thing I've ever said." Dean replied shrugging. "Kate is going with me—she's got powers and she isn't pregnant."

I nodded—the farther away from the 'big bad wolf' I was, the better off I was and Kate could keep Dean safe. There was no need for me to get myself into a fight, and I didn't want to snap and possibly hurt Dean…even if I was pretty sure that even Dark Lana wanted him safe. So Sam and I set off in search of Dr. Garrison after Kate saw Sam off with a kiss and I saw Dean off with one, and though he knew something was wrong—it wasn't the time.

"Dr. Garrison, I need to speak with you." Sam said when we finally saw him.

"Detectives, what can I do for you?" Dr. Garrison greeted.

Sam took a breath. "Well, um, it's about Callie."

Dr. Garrison was puzzled. "My daughter? What about her?"

"You know, maybe…maybe could we sit down for a minute?" Sam asked him.

"No. What about her?" Dr. Garrison prodded again.

Sam nodded slowly. "Okay, well, um…alright, doctor, this isn't gonna be easy. What happened to Callie was not an accident."

"Excuse me?" He asked, and I could tell he was going to get testy.

"I'm sorry, but it's true." Sam continued.

Dr. Garrison looked hurt. "You have no idea what happened to my daughter."

He started walking away from us, but we followed him because it was imperative that he heard us, no matter what. It was going to be difficult for him to hear, and we knew he wouldn't actually _believe_ us, but it was our job to stop this, and Dr. Garrison could help us. All that mattered right now was helping Callie's soul to move on…because we were Hunters and we needed this hunt to pan out in our favor.

"There are things you don't know, Doctor, about your wife." I tried earnestly.

"My wife?" He asked me.

Sam nodded. "Doctor, your wife poisoned Callie."

"Why would you say something so horrible to me?" Dr. Garrison asked, looking at us both angrily.

"Because we need your help." Sam told him.

Dr. Garrison looked almost livid. "You stay away from me and from my daughter. You understand?"

We followed him to Callie's room as he started walking again because we really needed this to work. However when Sam tried to plead with him. Dr. Garrison shut the door in his face and I took a deep breath because this was _not_ working. We had to switch up our plan, and we had to make our words sink in.

"My turn." I told Sam, and he nodded, me opening up the door, Dr. Garrison looking up at us and looking even more upset than before.

"I'm calling security." He told us, and got up to grab the phone.

I put my hand on it though. "Listen, we don't have time to do this gently. If you don't listen to us, more people are gonna get hurt because Callie is going to hurt them."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dr. Garrison asked.

"You're gonna think we're totally crazy, I know, but just understand: your daughter, Callie, is still here. She's a spirit." I explained calmly.

Dr. Garrison paused. "So, you've seen her, too?"

Sam and I were incredibly surprised, but we nodded—so maybe he _would_ believe what it was that we said. He was just simply in denial, and he wasn't sure _exactly_ what was going on, but he knew that something was up. This hunt was starting to look up after all, but at the same time, I still felt…empty and lost.

"I sensed her…Callie. Her presence, her scent. I even saw her standing at the foot of my bed, but I never believed it. I thought I was dreaming…" He told us.

"It wasn't a dream. She looks like she did when she was 8. White dress, red ribbon in her hair…she's been trying to talk to you." Sam explained to him.

Dr. Garrison looked at us. "You're not a cop, are you?"

"No." He replied.

"Then who are you?" Dr. Garrison asked.

I smiled a little at him. "We're people who know a little bit about this kind of thing."

He nodded slowly. "Well, what you said about my wife poisoning Callie, that…"

"Sir, Callie told us." Sam said softly.

"What?" Dr. Garrison asked.

I nodded too. "Not in so many words, but in her own way, she told us."

"My wife loved Callie! So, how's that…how's that possible?" Dr. Garrison asked us.

Sam shrugged. "I don't know, but it is."

Dr. Garrison shook his head. "No, no. I don't believe you."

"Look, Callie is killing people. She's angry. She's desperate because nobody will listen to her. So you have to listen to her. Please…listen to your daughter." I pleaded.

I watched as Dr. Garrison took a deep breath and went to his daughter's side, holding her hand and looking at her. He loved her so much, and he was so hurt and so confused, but he was going to listen to us and try to get through to his beautiful daughter. I realized right in that moment, that the second Johnny was born, I was done…if not before then, if not for my own sake, but for his.

"Callie? Callie, it's Daddy. It's me, Daddy. Is it true? Mommy did that to you? I…I know I wasn't listening before, but I'm listening now. Daddy's here. Please, honey, is…is there any way that you can tell me?" Dr. Garrison asked her.

"She's here." I told him, Dr. Garrison looking up at us in the direction of Sam's finger.

"Is it true?" He asked the little girl, and she nodded. "Oh, I'm so sorry, baby, but listen to me. You got to stop what you're doing, okay? You're hurting people. I know everything now. I know the truth. It's time for you to let go. It's time for me to let you go."

He rose off of his knees and kissed his daughter that was comatose on the forehead as she laid in the hospital bed, and then she died. I wanted to cry, but I felt like smiling again, so I covered my mouth with my hand and turned into Sam to try and pull the façade that I was incredibly upset. Sam and I left the room to give Dr. Garrison his privacy, and then a little while later when the urge to smile had worn off, Dean and Kate showed up and Dr. Garrison came to talk to us.

"And the girl's okay?" Dr. Garrison asked Dean. "So…it's really over?"

"Yeah…all thanks to you." Sam answered nodding.

Dr. Garrison smiled a little. "Callie was the most important thing in my life, but I should have let her go a long time ago."

"See you around, Doc." Dean told him.

"I sure hope not." Dr. Harrison answered, and we gave him smiles as he left.

"You know, what he said? Some good advice." Dean told Sam, Kate and me.

Sam and I both kind of got a little upset, and then Sam spoke up as I just rested my hand on my stomach and ignored the urges to hit Dean. Yes, I was upset that he would say something like that so calmly and so sure of himself, but I didn't _really_ want to hit him. Yes, I wanted him to care about this more, but I understood his reasoning's, and I was _not_ going to let Dark Lana rear her head.

"Is that what you want us to do, Dean? Just let you go?" Sam asked him, hurt and anger lacing every word.

Dean just looked at us without saying another word, and then walked past us, Kate following him. I knew she was going to give him a piece of her mind for saying such a thing to Sam _and _to me and I appreciated it. At the same time, I knew that her running off to chew him out meant that Sam and I had the moment that we needed to ourselves.

"I'm seeing the crossroads demon tonight." Sam told me.

I nodded as we both watched Dean and Kate continue on, arguing. "Can I come with you? I mean those demons are harmless, right?"

"And if they weren't, I'd kill them for you." Sam replied nodding.

"All right…then we're going." I told him.

xxxx

That night, I slowly got out of Dean's arms and got up as Sam grabbed the Colt and the keys to the Impala, and we got ready to go. We both looked over at Kate and Dean sleeping, both of us knowing we needed to do this, and knowing the other two would be upset. Kate wanted Dean out of his deal, she did…but she didn't want Sam dead, and she was worried about this course of action and what it would lead to.

"Maybe I should do this alone." Sam whispered to me.

I looked at him. "Sam, Dean's my husband—I can't let him go."

"I'm worried about you. You've been acting weird." Sam said shrugging.

"That's what happens when you're truly evil inside, Sam." I told him, shrugging when he gave me a look. "Even so, I love Dean, and we have to get him out of this. You said so yourself that if she gets violent, you'll kill her."

Sam nodded as he sighed. "I would do anything to protect you."

I took his hand, smiling. "I know."

"All right…let's go." Sam told me. "But I'm summoning her, okay?"

"I don't get to negotiate at all?" I asked him. "I'd love to see some really attractive man-demon."

Sam rolled his eyes and we slipped out of the motel room, Dean and Kate still sleeping when we left, and we found a crossroads. Sam placed his picture inside the box with the other summoning tools, and buried it. After a moment of silence and patience, the demon appeared behind us and I sensed her before she even spoke—my senses had been a _lot_ more heightened demon-wise lately.

"Well," She said, and we turned to her, "Little Sammy Winchester and Azazel's eldest. I'm touched that Sammy would put himself on the line like this. I mean, your brother's been to see me twice, but you…I never had the pleasure. What can I do for you, Sam?"

"You can beg for your life." He answered pointing the colt at her.

She frowned at him. "We were having such a nice conversation. Then you had to go and ruin the mood."

"If I were you, I'd drop the wisecracks and start acting scared." Sam replied firmly.

"It's not my style. That's not the original Colt." She said looking at the weapon. "Where did you get that?"

I smiled at her. "Where do you think we got it?"

She looked at me. "I'm surprised you don't have more to say when your husband's soul is on the line."

"Sammy has it under control." I told her.

She looked at me, and then at my stomach, and smirked. "You have no idea what's in store for you. Now…where did you get that?" Neither Sam nor I spoke, and so she continued. "Ruby. Had to be. She is such a pain in my ass. She'll get what's coming to her, you can count on it."

"That's enough. I came here to make you an offer." Sam explained to her.

She smiled at him. "You're gonna make me an offer? That's adorable."

"You can let Dean out of his deal right now. He lives, I live, you live. Everyone goes home happy. Or," he explained arming the colt, "you stop breathing…permanently." Sam told her, and I started to feel something inside of me beg to surface.

"All this tough talk. I have to tell you, it's not very convincing. I mean, come on, Sam. Do you even want to break the deal?" She asked Sam.

Sam looked at her hard. "What do you think?"

"I don't know. Aren't you tired of cleaning up Dean's messes, of dealing with that broken psyche of his? Aren't you tired of being bossed around like a snot-nosed little brother? You're stronger than Dean. You're better than him." She told him and then she looked at me. "You _both_ are."

"Watch your mouth." Sam told her, and I was scared of the malice in his eyes and his voice.

I honestly knew that Sam was capable of this, but at the same time, it scared me because we were part of something. What if this ability to be able to be this forceful and this demanding was part of what it meant for me to be demonic and Sam to be a psychic? What if he and I were just proving that we were in fact _truly_ dangerous?

She smiled at me. "Admit it…you're here, going through the motions, but truth is, you'll be a tiny bit relieved when he's gone."

"Shut up." Sam told her, and I suddenly smiled.

"No more desperate, sloppy, needy Dean. You two can finally be free." She said, smiling as she turned to me.

"I said, shut up." Sam threatened her.

She looked back at him. "Doth protest too much, if you ask me."

"Alright, I've had enough of your crap. You let Dean out of his deal right now." Sam told her in a threatening voice.

She shook her head. "Sorry, sweetheart, but your brother's an adult. He made that deal of his own free will, fair and square. It's ironclad."

Sam nodded slowly. "Every deal can be broken."

"Not this one." She explained shaking her head.

"Fine…then I'll kill you. If you're gone, so is the deal." Sam told her.

She smiled a little more. "Guess again."

"What?" Sam asked her.

I nodded. "Sam, she's just a saleswoman. She has a boss, and they hold the contract, not her. So what? Is there nothing we can give up so that we can get his soul back?"

She shook her head. "He wants Dean's soul bad. And believe me, he's not gonna let it go."

"You're bluffing." Sam said.

"Am I? Shoot me, if it will get you off, but the deal still holds. And when Dean's time is up, he's getting dragged into the pit." She replied.

Honestly, I thought about it—I thought about just telling Sam to pull the trigger and seeing what it would get us. But what if it _didn't_ work? What if we just pissed the crossroad demons off and after this no other ones would talk to us? What if this was our _only_ chance to get this done?

"And who's your boss? Who holds the contract?" Sam asked her.

"He's not as cuddly as me, I can tell you that." She told him.

Sam was angrier now. "Who is it?"

She shook her head. "I can't tell you. I'm sorry, Sam, but there's no way out of this one…not this time."

I stepped in. "What about my baby?"

She and Sam looked at me, and Sam seemed very upset with me and I was upset too because truth be told I didn't _want_ to give up this baby. This was the only piece of Dean I was going to have when he was gone, and he was all named and he was so far along but…but if Dean didn't die, we had another chance to try again. It wasn't fair to Johnny, because he deserved to live, and I felt like the worst person in the world for even considering it, but…but what if this was our _only _shot?

"You'd be willing to give up your baby?" She asked me.

I nodded slowly. "I really don't want to, because I love this baby...but I'd be willing to give up _anything_ so that Dean could live."

She actually looked like she was thinking about it, but before she could tell me anything more, Sam shot her right between the eyes, killing the demon and the woman it was possessing without even flinching. It took me a moment to comprehend what it was that had just happened, but then I was whirling on Sam, wondering if I was going to vomit or not because of all of this stress.

"Sam!" I yelled, and then I found myself feeling trapped—and I was smiling.

"You're not giving up your baby, Lan." Sam told me sternly.

He walked to the Impala and I sighed as Dark Lana stood there contemplating and watching him walk away. This was the moment that I had been dreading and it was finally upon me, and I wasn't able to do _anything _about it. She was in control, and until I focused on becoming one with her…I was screwed, and a slave to the future that Vanessa had mapped out for me.

"He has no idea what he's just done, does he?" She asked me out loud softly and I knew right then and there that this was not looking up for any of us. "And by the way—you're not giving up our baby."

With that, she followed Sam to the car, and we went back to the motel and she snuck back into bed, Dean's arm automatically wrapping around me even though he was still out. I could tell from where I was that she cared about Dean, and she cared about Johnny, but her reasons were definitely _not_ _my _intentions. Life was going to start getting even rougher…

**Note: Okay, and there you have it! Dark Lana is in control now, so what could possibly happen next? Feedback is always appreciated!**


	60. Bela, Dark Lana, and a Hard Decision

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter might be a **_**little**_** hard to understand, but I think you'll get it.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Dark Lana was having a field day being in control, and I decided to let her until I figured all of this out. So far she wasn't putting me in any danger—if anything she _protected _me _better _than I could protect myself, and yet…I was weary of it all. Vanessa had told me that I needed to become one with my dark half. Hell my _mother _had explained that being in _complete control _was the only way for this to all be over for me…it was the only way to truly be whole and to be myself—whomever myself _was_.

It was bittersweet honestly because Kate was dealing with a family matter and Sam missed her, but at the same time, Dean and I went shopping for some maternity clothes. He was just so happy and smiley about it, and Dark Lana let me have control on one condition—that I didn't warn anyone about what was up with me. So I didn't…I just let her do what she wanted when the shopping trip was done because she was being protective—albeit bitchy too, but she was keeping me and Johnny safe…no matter how badly _I _wanted to back in control.

"Just get over that, okay?" She whispered.

"How can I just get _over_ it?" I asked back.

Dean looked in the rearview mirror at me talking to myself, and though he raised an eyebrow, Dark Lana had caught the hint before the look was given, and we started conversing inside my head. It wasn't supposed to be known to them right then that it wasn't _me_ entirely that was in control—she had a purpose. She protected me, and she loved my baby and I just…I didn't understand. She stood with my father and yet…and yet she stood with me as long as I made decisions that she _wanted_ me to make.

"_Just accept me_." She told me.

"_I have no other choice—I can't take control of my own body_." I replied bitterly.

She laughed a little. "_It's __**our**__ body._"

I sighed at that. "_Yeah…you keep saying that_."

"Are you okay, Lana?" Dean asked me.

We looked up at him and smiled. "Yeah, just whispering little things to the baby is all."

Dean nodded, and then he turned to Sam for a second and then looked back at the road. "So, I've been waiting since Maple Springs. You got something to tell me?"

"It's not your birthday." Sam replied.

"No." Dean said shaking his head, but still pressing the topic.

"Happy Purim?" Sam tried, but the three of us knew that Dean didn't find that funny. "Dude, I don't know. I have no idea what you're talking about."

Dean nodded slowly. "There's a bullet missing from the colt. You want to tell me how that happened? I know it wasn't me. So unless you were shooting at some incredibly evil cans…"

"Dean…" I tried, but he spoke as I pleaded with him.

"You went after her, didn't you? The crossroads demon…after I _told_ you not to." Dean said, raising his voice.

We spoke up. "What makes you think that I didn't do it?"

"Because you and I have an understanding, Lanni—you understand why we can't tamper with this, and Sammy doesn't." Dean replied as Sam scoffed.

It was one of those things that I knew was going to cause us all to be upset that day, but we had to talk about it. Honestly, I was on Sam's side here more than Dean's—just because I understood _why_ he did it, didn't mean that I had to just let it all happen. Besides, Dark Lana was having fun goading him and I was just letting her do it because I had no choice in the matter.

"You think she's just going to let you die?" Sam asked Dean angrily.

"You could have gotten yourself killed!" Dean cried loudly.

Sam nodded intently. "I didn't."

"And you shot her." Dean protested.

"She was a smartass." Sam shrugged.

"So, what? Does that…does that mean I'm out of my deal?" Dean asked, and I smiled a little just knowing that part of him wanted out of it as much as Sam, Dark Lana and I wanted him out of it.

Sam sighed dismally. "Don't you think I might have mentioned that little fact, Dean? No. Someone else holds the contract."

"Who?" Dean asked him.

"She wouldn't say." We answered.

Dean made a noise. "What? Did you tell her?"

"I went with him." We told him, and sighed as Dean made the angry noise again. "And seriously, Sam and I are fine so do not _even_ start yelling at me—you haven't the right."

Dean grunted. "Well, we should find out who—of course, our best lead would be the crossroads demon. Oh, wait a minute…"

Sam sighed loudly. "That's not funny."

"No, it's not! It was a stupid freaking risk, and you shouldn't have done it—either of you! _Especially_ you, Lana!" Dean cried, glancing back at me.

We just gave him a look as he said that, both Dark Lana and I on the same page here—he didn't get to be upset like that. Yeah, it was nice that he cared so much about mine well being and about the baby's well-being, but he wasn't allowed to be mad. Sam and I wanted him _alive_, and with that hint in his voice, he wanted to live too—I deserved to be able to keep him and have him help me to raise _our_ son.

"We shouldn't have done it? You're my brother, Dean, and you're Lana's husband, and no matter what you do, we're gonna try and save you—and I'm sure as hell not gonna apologize for it, alright?" Sam asked him. "In fact you have even less right to ask Lan to apologize for it!"

Dean looked like he wasn't going to answer, but words came to him. "We're having a baby…why am I the only one around here that cares about that?"

We sighed from the back seat. "I want out of the car."

"What?" Dean asked.

"Stop the goddamn car, Dean." We told him, Dark Lana getting really angry.

Dean pulled over and turned to talk to us, but Dark Lana had unbuckled us already and grabbed the bag, getting out of the Impala. She was upset, and she wanted away from Dean, aware that she could protect us and Johnny _without_ Dean if need be, and she was making a point. There was no way that she was letting him get away with talking to us like this, and I didn't blame her…I felt the need to get some air too—I just didn't want to just walk away…that just didn't seem fair.

"Lana!" Dean said, and hurried out after us, Sam sitting in the passenger seat looking like he wanted to bash his brains out on his window.

She turned to him. "I'm not going to sit there and listen to you bad mouth the woman that loves you! You may not have said her name, but Lana cares about you more than anyone else in the world besides your baby! What kind of father lets himself die?"

Dean was going to ask us why we speaking in third person, but I could tell that he knew what was going on after a moment when his eyes changed. He knew me well enough to know that Dark Lana didn't refer to herself as 'Lana'—I was one messed up, schizophrenic piece of work, seriously. Now he knew though, and he was going to have to do something about it.

"You know, I was wondering why you've been acting strangely lately." Dean said, running his hand down his face.

She nodded quickly. "Yeah, Dark Lana is back. Why do you call me that anyways?"

"Lana came up with it." Dean told her. "Son of a bitch."

"Hey! Don't talk about Lana like that." She joked, but Dean wasn't amused.

"Get back in the car." Dean told her firmly.

She shook our head. "No—I can take care of the three of us just fine."

"If you know Lana so damn well, then you know that she needs me—that she _wants_ me." Dean said softly. "I need to know that the _entirety_ of my family is safe."

It was in that moment where I thought he was going to cry, that she kissed him, and mid-kiss he responded because he noted the change of control—she'd let me be back in control of my own body. This was a tough time for all of us and she didn't need to be causing such trouble, but at the same time I understood. She was part of me and she hadn't _asked_ to be, and it was only fair that she knew she was safe…that she knew that everything faired well for _us_.

"Please don't let her come back." Dean whispered as our lips parted.

I smiled a little. "How the Hell did you know that she'd let me back in control?"

"Nobody kisses like you, Lanni." He replied with a smirk.

"And don't you forget it." I whispered back, kissing him again and smiling as he rested his hand on my bulging belly.

He was so protective of me and so in love with me and I wondered why I was even upset with him ever. Sure, he'd made mistakes and so had I, but there was no reason to live in the past—there was no reason to dwell on the negative anymore. Dean was doing the best that he could do, and I was more than willing to let him do just that. Why did this have to be so hard? Why wasn't I in control of myself anymore?

"I love you so much, Lanni…I just want you safe." Dean said, resting his forehead on mine. "Why can't you just…stop all of this?"

I stroked his cheek and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. "Baby, I can't bare to be apart from you."

"You know…you're still not as big as I expected…what if our son's a midget?" Dean asked me, suddenly worried.

"Baby he's not." I replied, laughing and kissing him gently. "I'm just carrying him more towards my back. I'll start gaining weight like nobody's business when I hit the beginning of the next trimester, I promise you."

He nodded and kissed me again, making sure to kiss my forehead before taking my hand in his and leading me back to the car. I tossed my duffle into the backseat as Dean got into the driver's side, Sam looking back at me. When I explained to him what happened, he looked worried and I knew that Dean was too—we _all_ were. That didn't matter right now though…right now we were headed for a hunt.

xxxx

I didn't go with the boys to see Gert because I wanted to kind of kick back a little bit…because I was finally realizing that my place wasn't the actual _hunt_ anymore and I needed to wean myself off of it all, all together. Dean had pointed out to me while I was getting ready to go with them that soon I'd be much too large to be going anywhere, and I agreed with him—especially now that Dark Lana was a threat again. I needed to focus on keeping myself alive—keeping my unborn son safe from any harm that could potentially befall him…and me.

So, I researched, and read, and waited until Dean called, and I hurried to the port when I heard Dean suddenly go, "Where's my car?" and then hang up on me. When I got there, I was just in time to see Sam helping Dean to stop hyperventilating, and then I saw Bela, and I gritted my teeth and went towards them. Why was it that on my _bad_ days, I had to meet up with people that I _despised_?

"Bela." Sam said, just as upset to see her as me.

"I'm sorry. I had that car towed." Bela told them.

"You what?" Dean asked her.

She nodded in at him like she could care less. "Well, it was in a tow-away zone."

"No, it wasn't!" Dean told her angrily.

If there was just one thing that I had learned about Dean Winchester, it was that you mess with the Impala, and you die. That car was more of a lover to him than I was, honestly—he would do _anything_ for that piece of sex on wheels. Bela was walking on some _very_ thin ice as far as the Impala was concerned, and I didn't appreciate her being so damn _snarky_ about it.

"It was when I finished with it." She replied with a smile.

"What the hell are you even doing here?" I asked Bela.

She smiled at me. "A little yachting."

"You're Alex." Sam intervened, something dawning on him that I didn't understand. "You're working with that old lady."

"Gert's a dear old friend." Bela answered, completely answering Sam's statement.

Dean gave her a look. "Yeah, right. What's your angle?"

Bela shrugged a little. "There's no angle. There's a lot of lovely old women like Gert up and down the eastern seaboard. I sell them charms; perform séances so they can commune with their dead cats…"

"And let me guess, it's all a con. None of it is real." Dean told her.

Bela smiled more. "The comfort I provide them is very real."

"How do you sleep at night?" Sam asked her.

"On silk sheets, rolling naked in money. Really, Sam, I'd expect the attitude from him. But you?" Bela asked, giving him a look.

"You shot me," Sam reminded her as I said, "You shot him."

Bela rolled her eyes. "I barely grazed you. Cute. But a bit of a drama queen, yeah?"

"You do know what's going on around here." Dean said, looking at her a little closer. "This ghost-ship thing, it is real."

"I'm aware. Thanks for telling Gert the case wasn't solved by the way." Bela told him.

I laughed and nodded a little. "It isn't, but I guess she didn't know that, eh?"

For some reason I _loved_ that Bela was now in trouble with someone and not getting what she wanted—the money. She had shot Sam and none of us had forgotten it. There might have been other people who would just get over it, but we weren't 'other people' and she was a pain in our asses.

"Now the old bag's stopped payment and she's demanding some real answers. Look…just stay out of my way before you cause any more trouble. I'd get to that car if I were you…before they find the arsenal in the trunk. Ciao." She told us, and then left.

"Can I shoot her?" Dean asked us.

"Not in public." Sam replied, making a face because we all wanted to.

"I guess that means witchcraft on her is out of the question." I muttered.

Sam nodded and sent me a look. "Most definitely."

"Dark Lana wants to rip her apart while she's sleeping—can I do that?" I asked, looking at Sam, both of us cracking smiles, him shaking his head.

Dean smiled and took my hand. "Tempting, but no—can't let you near her with our baby in your belly."

"Fine." I told him, giving up.

The three of us headed back to the abandoned house we were inhabiting, and we sat there for a little while, Sam going through some papers before Dean heaved a heavy sigh and Sam rolled his eyes. Dean had different sighs, and Sam and I knew what they all were. It hadn't been his 'bored' sigh, or his 'hit a dead end' sigh…it was his 'horny' sigh—that sigh that meant he wanted Sam to leave so he could have at his wife.

"Why don't you just go into the bedroom upstairs, close the door, and then tell me when you're done?" Sam asked him.

"We're going to have to do this in an enclosed space, Love." Dean said, shaking his head and playfully making a big deal about it, even though Sam and I both knew he wasn't actually upset in the slightest, he was just bitching to bitch.

I rolled my eyes and stood up, taking his hand. "Stop torturing your brother please."

"But it's so much fun!" Dean protested playfully.

I rolled my eyes and turned to Sam. "I'm sorry about him."

Sam let out a hearty laugh, and then Dean and I walked upstairs hand in hand, and took one look at the bed and I frowned, though Dean was ready for anything. After sleeping together on that gross rug after Sam had died, I was really not taking anymore chances with weird furniture and dressings.

"Yeah, I'll be right back." I told him.

He was protesting, but I went downstairs and outside to the Impala, grabbing a duffle I'd packed while last at home with Jen. I took it up into the bedroom, and opened it up to reveal sheets. Since I knew my husband, and I liked sleeping with my husband, I had to be prepared for _anything_…and I was.

"I told you it was books, but I lied." I told him. "Clean sheets."

Dean laughed, and helped me put the sheets on the bed, and then sat on it. I sat on his lap, straddling him, and then laughed a little. As nice as it was to have my stomach getting larger—only because that meant our baby was in there and still alive and developing—it was getting to the point where there was a little distance between us.

"This is a little awkward with a bulge where my stomach should be." I told him.

Dean shrugged and kissed me. "It's going to be fine—I can maneuver around _anything_."

"You are _completely_ adorable." I laughed, sliding my fingers into his hair.

Dean chuckled and kissed me gently, stroking my hair, and I gave into it all. My hands found his button-up shirt, unbuttoning every button slowly, and then helping him out of it. I ran my hands down his torso to his t-shirt, breaking our kiss to get the shirt off over his head, eyeing his abs and smiling because he was all mine. He smiled as I tossed the shirt on the floor, and I smiled back, stroking his hair and leaning forward, running my nose softly along his.

"I love you." I whispered, making sure he could tell that I meant it.

He smiled back. "I love you too."

I lifted my arms up over my head, and Dean smiled, lifting my shirt up and over my head, tossing it right on top of his discarded t-shirt. Dean kissed me with slightly more passion, and I suddenly ignored that my stomach was larger than normal, and I let him lay down, pulling me down with him. I bit his jaw line, nibbling down his throat to his chest, grinning as he started to chuckle, his whole body rumbling against mine.

"I think the best decision that I ever made was marrying you." He told me, shifting his weight to help me to get his jeans off easier. "Honestly and truly."

I smiled at him, biting my bottom lip. "The best decision I ever made was saying 'I do' as well."

"I still can't believe someone like you fell in love with someone like me." Dean admitted, running his hands along my arms as I removed our remaining clothes, keeping my position on top.

"There was no one else for me." I told him, kissing him to make him stop.

I loved the sweet, sappy moments between us, but at the same time, I knew that any more talk would make me cry. So when he started to talk again when my mouth left his, I slipped my hand down his torso and wrapped my hand around him, resorting to seduction to get him to focus on something else. By this point we both knew _exactly _what to do to satisfy the other, even if there were things we still hadn't tried yet together.

There were so many things I wanted to do with him before he died, and I tried instead to focus on what was happening. To focus on his skin running along mine…the rhythm our hips set…the sound of his breathing…the feeling of our heartbeats as they pounded in our chests…his fingertips along my scalp…his skin under my nails…our release as we reached it together…his body riding out the climax with mine, our mouths together. Soon we were cuddling, both of us running our fingers over my protruding bulge, silent for a little while.

"I never thought about it…what do you think the baby knows of all of this?" Dean asked me, the fingers of one hand gliding through my hair with ease while the others ran over my stomach reverently.

I laughed a little and shrugged. "I'm pretty sure he's not aware of what's going on."

"When your heart starts beating really fast, he can feel that more than you can—he's close to it." Dean whispered, kissing my damp temple. "So he has to know that _something_ is affecting his mother."

I nodded slowly. "I suppose that's true."

"You're one hundred percent sure we're just having him?" Dean asked after me after a pause.

"Baby, I _can't_ raise _two_ kids _without_ _you_." I explained to him, snuggling closer to him to show him that I still loved him and wanted him even though I was done with the procreating after Johnny. "Maybe if you find a way to stick around, _then_ we'll talk."

"Fair enough." Dean replied nodding, kissing my head again. "If we had a girl we could name her after our mothers and your sister."

I laughed a little. "I was hoping for 'Lillian' for a girl."

"So you've thought about having a girl, then?" Dean asked me.

I resituated and gave him a look. "Dean Winchester, Jonathon Robert Samuel Winchester is the _only_ child that you _know about_, that you will be having."

Dean chuckled and rolled his eyes. "I doubt I have more kids than the one in your stomach."

"Well _I_ can _hope_…however, considering how many places you've spread your seed, I wouldn't be surprised if Johnny has half siblings out there somewhere that none of us will ever know." I told him, and then kissed him as he shot me a look. "Now shut-up, kiss me, and take over this time."

Dean nodded and stroked my cheek with his thumb as he kissed me again, making sure to let his lips linger on mine when he pulled back to resituate us once more. We were trying to prove to each other that no matter what we were there for each other and we were going to do all of this _together_, and we were _grateful_ for each other. Even though Dean's time was counting down and I was having problems with my other half, this was just us…this was just perfect.

xxxx

The next morning, I stayed in the Impala while Sam and Dean spoke to Peter—his brother had been killed by whatever we were after. When Sam and Dean came back to the car, I got out and Dean told me that we had to save Peter because he saw the ship too, which meant like the others…he was _doomed_. I was helping them to load some of the guns when I felt Bela's presence and groaned again.

"Why's the ugly whore here?" I asked out loud.

"I see you got your car back." Bela told them before they could respond to what I had said, which made me make a face at her.

"You really want to come near me when I got a loaded gun in my hands?" Dean asked her, making me smile.

She smiled a little too. "Now, now, mind your blood pressure. Why are you even still here? You have enough to ID the boat?"

"That guy back there saw the ship." Sam answered before putting his gun down and shutting the trunk.

"Yeah? And?" Bela asked him.

"And he's going to die, so we have to save him." Sam responded like she should know.

Bela smiled condescendingly. "How sweet."

"You think this is funny?" I asked her.

It seemed liked every time we came into contact with Bela, I felt like Dark Lana was almost in control. She fed off of my anger and my hate, and though I knew I should have been worried about that right then and held back, I didn't. Bela didn't _deserve_ to be let off of the hook…right? Was this what my problem was? Was it thoughts like this what were going to turn me?

"He's cannon fodder. He can't be saved in time, and you know it." Bela answered me.

"Yeah, well, see, we have souls, so we're gonna try." Dean told her, and the three of us started to get in the car.

Bela nodded at the statement. "Well, I'm actually gonna find the ship and put an end to this, but you have fun."

"Hey, Bela, how'd you get like this, huh?" Dean asked, going back over to her. "What, did Daddy not give you enough hugs or something?"

"I don't know. Your Daddy give _you_ enough? Don't you dare look down your nose at me—you're not better than I am." Bela told him, and I noticed that he'd struck a nerve, and I went over to stand by him.

Dean scoffed at her. "We help people."

Bela rolled her eyes. "Come on. You do this out of vengeance and obsession. You're a stone's throw from being a serial killer. Whereas I, on the other hand, I get paid to do a job and I do it. So, you tell me…which is healthier?"

"Bela, why don't you just leave?" Sam intervened tiredly. "We've got work to do."

Bela nodded and looked at me. "You know Lana, you're looking a little plumper than last time when I saw you. Are you laying on the food too much?"

I laugh/scoffed. "I'm pregnant, Bitch."

Dean laughed at my exclamation, and Bela's eyes widened a bit. I hadn't appreciated her insinuating that I was fat, and besides—I was _proud_ that Dean and I were going to have a baby. I'm not going to deny that seeing her eyes widen like that and her potentially not have any words anymore thrilled me—it was about time she didn't have a cheeky response to something, wasn't it?

"Pregnant? You mean you're actually hunting while you're carrying a little person inside of you?" She asked me. "Who's better than who now?"

"Still me." I told her with a smile. "Hunting means more than just fighting and killing things. There's research involved too. Now if you'll excuse us, we have a man to save."

"Right." She said, turning back to the boys. "You're 0 for 2. Bang-up job so far."

I watched as she left, trying very hard not to hit her with a fireball as she walked away from us. It took Dean's hand on mine to make me stop watching her take her leave of us, and I shook the violent feelings off. There was _no way_ that I was going to let Dark Lana take control…not when I knew what she was capable of.

xxxx

That night the boys went to watch out for Peter, while I stayed in the old house. I was researching and e-mailing, and basically staying by myself so that I wasn't in the line of fire while there was a baby in my belly. Something was wrong though—and I knew that Dark Lana was up to something. I had to get in control of her, and all of this trying to accommodate for Dean before he left was actually hindering it all. I had to use my powers—had to harness them…I had to stop letting Dark Lana take over, and for that I needed to be much stronger.

When the boys came back, Sam looked really upset and headed straight for bed. Dean explained to me that they couldn't save Peter, and I nodded and told him I had to go talk to Sam. Dean nodded and told me to hurry to bed, and I assured him that I'd be there just as soon as I said something comforting to Sam, because right now I was pretty sure I knew exactly how he was feeling—and right now Sam didn't have Kate to comfort him. Dean was satisfied enough with the answer, so I rapped my knuckles on Sam's bedroom door as Dean went upstairs, and then I opened the door as Sam was searching for a shirt to wear to bed, and his torso was bare.

"Wanna talk about it?" I asked him.

Sam shook his head, finding a t-shirt and pulling it on. He grabbed some pajama pants, and then left the bedroom to go change into them, and I sat on the old bed, my mission here _far _from completed. I ran my fingers through my hair and then set my hand on my stomach, Sam returning and sighing, sitting next to me. I nodded, and I set my hand on his and he took it and grasped it happily, both of us glad to still have this bond between us, no matter what had happened.

"I think this is one of those times where we both realize that we have to save Dean no matter what we have to do." I told him.

Sam nodded. "I feel like I can't save anybody, Lanni."

"I've been feeling that way too." I replied, and rested my head on his shoulder. "I don't really have anything to tell you that's going to make you feel any better, but I _do_ believe that we can save Dean if we try harder than we're trying now."

"We need to finish this hunt first." Sam explained, but he nodded in agreement.

I nodded and kissed his cheek. "Yes we do, and then we focus on saving Dean."

Sam and I were in total agreement, and so I said 'goodnight' and went to see Dean, who was sitting up and wiggled his eyebrows when I walked into the room. I couldn't help but laugh and roll my eyes, pulling off my shirt and kissing him once I made it onto the bed with him. He was just being so attentive, and even though he really wanted to sleep with me more than usual, I wasn't going to say 'no'. So we focused on each other all night, and then the next morning we woke up to a knock on the doors. I got up hurriedly and got dressed, running a brush through my hair as I walked down the stairs, unhappy that one of my first sights of the day was Bela's face.

"Look, I think the three of us should have a heart-to-heart—or four. Wait, it could be five." Bela said as she saw me.

"That's assuming you have a heart." Dean replied making a face.

"Dean, please. I'm sorry about what I said before, okay? I come bearing gifts." Bela explained to him.

I nodded slowly. "They better be really good considering the pregnant crack you just made."

"What kinds of gifts?" Sam asked her.

"I've ID'd the ship." She told us, opening up her briefcase. "It's the Espirito Santo." She explained, holding the picture out to Dean. "A merchant sailing vessel. Quite a colorful history. In 1859, a sailor was accused of treason. He was tried aboard ship in a kangaroo court and hanged. He was 37."

"Which would explain the 37-year cycle." Sam intervened nodding.

She smiled condescendingly again. "Aren't you a sharp tack? There's a photo of him somewhere." She said, searching the papers. "Here."

Dean took the picture from her and looked at me, me walking over and looking at it too because I was part of this hunting team. She had come into our little hide-out and I was just as good at figuring these things out as the rest of them. Besides, it was nice to know that Dean still valued me as part of the team, even though he really didn't want me hunting anymore.

"Isn't that the customer we saw last night?" Dean asked Sam as he showed him the sailor's picture.

"You saw him?" Bela asked him.

"Yeah, that's him." Sam answered nodding. "Except he was missing a hand."

Bela nodded at the statement. "His right hand."

"How did you know?" Sam asked her.

"The sailor's body was cremated, but not before they cut off his hand to make a hand of glory." Bela explained to us.

"A hand of glory? I think I got one of those at the end of my Thai massage last week." Dean joked, and I rolled my eyes.

Leave it to Dean to make a joke about something that was a serious matter. It was cute to see him try to turn this job into something fun—the fact of the matter was that hunting wasn't fun. I needed to get out of it for the sake of Johnny and for the sake of my sanity. Maybe it was this kind of environment that was making me more susceptible to Dark Lana gaining the upper hand on me.

Sam looked at him. "Dean, the right hand of a hanged man is a serious occult object. It's very powerful."

"So they say." Bela said and I could tell from the tone in her voice that something more than this was up…it was a powerful and probably _expensive_ occult item.

I nodded though. "It officially counts as remains."

"Well, still. None of this explains why the ghost is choosing these victims." Sam told us.

"I'll tell you why." Bela replied, and we were all surprised until she said, "Who cares? Find the hand, burn it, and stop the bloody thing."

"I don't get it. Why are you telling us all this?" Dean asked her.

She looked at him. "Because I know exactly where the hand is."

"Where?" I asked her, completely skeptical of her motives more than usual.

"At the Sea Pines museum. It's a macabre bit of maritime history. But I need help." Bela told me.

Sam stood up. "What kind of help?"

I was actually amazed when Bela told us there was a big Gala going down that night, and she needed us to help her get past all of the guards. They needed to dress formally, and though I protested about Dean being Bela's date, he told me I couldn't go with them because something might go wrong like it normally did, before it went right. I was upset for the entire rest of the day, but I helped Dean with his tux that night while Bela waited downstairs in an evening gown.

"You think she's ugly right?" I asked Dean and I did his bowtie.

Dean smiled at me, it turning into a playful smirk. "Someone's actually jealous of Bela."

"She looked pretty in that stupid dress." I said dismally. "Why can't I just go?"

"What's taking so long? Sam's already halfway there…with his date." Bela called up the stairs.

"I'm so not okay with this." Dean answered her, and then looked at me. "Get dressed. What could possibly go wrong with a dead hand?"

I beamed and kissed him. "Thank you—I owe you _so_ much sex for this."

Dean chuckled and I hurriedly pulled my hair back in an up-do and grabbed a formal out of my duffle, pulling it on. As I said, I had to be ready for _every_ occasion, and besides, who knew when Dean would pull another surprise out? Dean helped me to make sure everything was in place and my bra wasn't showing and he fastened the dress up, kissing my neck softly before Bela's voice again ruined everything.

"What are you, a woman? Or are you two satisfying urges or something? We're late. Come down, already." She ordered, and Dean went down the stairs as I grabbed some shoes to put on.

"Alright. Get it out. I look ridiculous." Dean said, and I laughed a little from upstairs because I knew he hated wearing suits—even though he looked _amazing_ in them.

"Not exactly the word I'd use." Bela answered, and I could hear the tone in her voice…it made me put my shoes on faster.

"What?" Dean asked, completely confused.

"You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex." She told him.

I came down the stairs. "Over my dead body, you'll sleep with my husband."

"Yeah." Dean replied, crossing his arms. "Don't objectify me."

I rolled my eyes. "And on that note, let's go."

I made a face because Dean had entertained the idea in his head, even if it was only briefly. It wasn't so much the angry sex he was thinking about either—it was that he looked amazing in a tux and even someone like Bela could notice that. He was a looker and he knew that—Hell he used to use it to pick up women—but sometimes I felt like being married made him feel like he was no longer wanted and he wasn't used to that…I needed to find a way to make him feel like again, because obviously _my_ wanting him wasn't enough.

"Wait a second…you two are married then? That means _he_ put the little person inside of you?" Bela asked me, and then she made a face. "And why are you dressed up?"

"Bite me." I told her. "I don't have to answer to you—what kind of mercenary are you? I think most other hunters we meet up with know Dean and I are married...don't they?"

Dean laughed a little. "It's wrong that I want you to fight her, right? Cause then our baby might be in danger?"

I gave him a look. "Classy…I'm not pulling her hair."

Dean nodded in the direction of the door. "Let's go."

"Stop smirking!" I told him, following him, Bela behind me.

We arrived at the Sea Pines museum and after giving out the invitation cards, Bela noticed my laugh, and looked at Dean curiously. He was so cute no matter what he did, and everyday I counted my blessings that I had him. It honestly no longer mattered what we'd done in the past because our present was perfect—and Dean Winchester was being loving with me even when he was Bela's 'date'…plus he was chewing gum—it was hot.

"Are you chewing gum? Try to behave as if you've lived this life before. Yeah?" She asked him.

Dean gave her a look, and then took his gum out and stuck it to on the fountain of Champagne, Bela rolling her eyes as I laughed again. Then we headed into the ballroom, and saw Sam with Gert—yes, he had had to be _her _date for this fine occasion. I noticed that she was touching him a lot and Sam looked uncomfortable, and then he saw us and hurried over…what he wouldn't do to have Kate here with him.

"Exactly how long do you expect me to entertain my date?" Sam asked us.

"As long as it takes." Bela responded with a slight shrug.

"Look, there's security all over this place, alright? This is an uncrashable party without Gert's invitation, so..." Dean said, but Sam and I gave him looks because Dean just liked seeing Sam uncomfortable.

"We can crash anything, Dean." Sam reminded him.

Dean smiled at him. "Yeah, I know, but this is easier, and it's a lot more entertaining."

"You know there are limits to what I'll do, right?" Sam replied giving him a look. "I'm supposed to call Kate tonight and instead I'm being groped by a horny old woman."

"Aw, he's playing hard-to-get. That's cute. Come on. I want all the details in the morning." He said in a low voice and he held a flute of Champagne out to Bela.

"Thank you." Bela said, smiling at him.

I sighed at the look she gave him. "Can we get this over with so Ugly can go back to the dark cave she lives in?"

Dean laughed a little and kissed me swiftly. "I promise this is going to be over soon."

"I think _you're _the one who owes _me _sex now." I told him, raising my eyebrows and nodding at him.

He chuckled and nodded, and then he and Bela headed to check out the security, Gert coming over to Sam with two flutes of champagne, a random very attractive man approaching me. If this was what Dean was missing, then I understood, but unlike him, I didn't _need_ this. Dean was all that I needed and all that I wanted, and I was in a bad mood about Bela and I was a little sore because of my back and my ankles and it was really _no_ time to be hitting on me.

"I don't think I've seen you around." The man told me.

I smiled and nodded. "I'm pregnant. Done hitting on me now? Yeah…I thought so."

The man just turned and left and I handed Sam another flute of champagne to down Gert looking at me curiously. It had been an outburst and I knew I could have been nicer to the poor guy that got the nerve to come over to try and pick me up, but wasn't I _obviously_ pregnant? Yes, yes I was. I mean I wasn't as large as a whale, but still—and now Gert was giving me a look.

"Did you say 'pregnant'?" She asked me.

I nodded slowly. "Dean, the one off with…Alex…he's my husband, and we're having a baby—in fact I'm six months along next week."

"Congratulations." She told me with a smile and then she noted my behavior. "You seem fidgety."

I smiled at her with my 'Lana' smile. "Just feeling a little queasy is all. Stupid hormones."

Before I had to explain anything I excused myself, just in time to see Dean calling Bela his wife and asking if he could go up and lay her down until she got her 'sea legs' back. I scowled, but they were getting upstairs to where the hand was and I trusted him no matter what. Love was a hard thing for Dean, and I knew that since I _had_ it, he wasn't going to do anything to jeopardize where we were. As they were heading up though, I faked stomach pains and went up to a guard, wanting to be able to help in any way that I could—and hey, I trusted my husband, but I never said I trusted Bela.

"Is there a place where I could lay down? The baby's giving me a bit of trouble." I told him with a small laugh. "He's quite the active little guy."

"Of course, Ma-am. Follow me." The guard told me sweetly.

I followed him up the stairs, sitting in a nice room, smiling at him as he asked me if I needed anything and then let me be. Once he'd gone, I left the room to go into the one I'd seen Dean and Bela going into, opening the door up and then closing it behind me. I didn't want the two of them out of my sight because I was worried about them, and to be honest, I was weary of Bela's true motives here.

"I didn't want you thinking. You're not very good at that." She told Dean, who just stood there taking it as I narrowed my eyes at her. "Oh, look at you. Searching for a witty rejoinder?"

"Screw you." Dean replied and I smiled a little—he kind of was out of words and just saying the first thing to come to his mind.

"Very Oscar Wilde. Room 235. It's in a locked glass case wired for alarm. I'm sure that won't be a problem." She told him, Dean going past me to the other room.

I rolled my eyes as Dean left the room mumbling, quickly kissing my head to show his affection for me and to acknowledge my existence, and I looked at her. She really was kind of getting on my nerves, especially when even when she was being a bitch, she was hitting on my _husband_. What was up with her? What was she trying to pull?

"I can't wait until this is all over and you leave." I told her.

She smiled at me. "Oh, I take it we're not going to be friends then?"

"Why don't you leave condescending out of your voice from now on, and I won't have to kill you?" Dark Lana told her, and I sighed internally because she'd taken over again.  
"You're up to something, and if you cross us, you're as good as dead."

Bela looked at me curiously. "There's so much more to you, isn't there?"

Dark Lana smiled at her contemplative look. "More than you'll ever know. Now stop being a bitch, and do something useful."

With that, Dark Lana headed out of the room, and we went downstairs past Sam and Gert. Sam got away from her, and then followed me towards the door, me still trying to assess Bela's face. She knew that I had changed, and she knew something was up with me, and now we were just leaving? What about Dean? What if he needed help? I mean I knew my man was a Maverick, but at the same time I wanted to protect him, and Dark Lana was the best at that area because I still had yet to train…after this I had to go back to Kansas and talk to Aunt Debra.

"What's wrong, Lana?" Sam asked me.

Dark Lana turned to him, amused. "If it isn't little Sammy."

Sam took a step back. "Oh, it's you."

"Glad to see I'm so remembered around here. Now if you'll excuse me." She said, heading out to the Impala.

She got into the back seat and just waited, obviously just staying out of everything. We sat there for a little while, waiting for the boys to come back and it suddenly became very clear to me, that I had to get away from Sam and Dean—I had to harness my powers alone, and they couldn't know. It would hurt them, but I hard no other choice because they were a weakness to me…I could get them killed and I couldn't do that. Before I could think anymore about leaving them, the boys came and got back into the car and Dark Lana let me take back over.

"Thank God you guys are back." I said smiling brightly, glad to have control again.

Sam smiled at me. "Nice to see you took back over."

Dean sighed loudly. "Dark Lana took over again?"

"I'm back, so what about the hand?" I asked him.

"You got it, right? Tell me I didn't get groped all night by Mrs. Havisham for nothing." Sam told Deam.

"I got it. Mrs. Who?" Dean asked him.

"Havisham—she's the eccentric old lay in Charles Dickens's _**Great Expectations**_…but never mind, you wouldn't have read that because you don't read." I told him, winking.

Sam laughed as Dean began to protest. "Just let me see it."

Dean nodded and rummaged into his pocket, pulling out a ship in a bottle that definitely wasn't the hand. I sighed loudly and then nodded, knowing that there had _definintely_ been an agenda here and Bela had played us. She was using us for a profit, and now she had the hand to sell and we were done here…there was nothing else that we could do, was there? Then again…maybe we could do a spell…

"She's going to sell the hand for a profit." I said dismally. "Oh, I am gonna let Dark Lana kill her." I said as Dean said, "I'm gonna kill her."

Sam, Dean and I went back to the house, and I sat up with the laptop, sighing a bit as Dean got all upset all over again. We were all trying to find another way out of this, but all we were finding really was more information to help us link all of the victims together. That was definitely useful, but we needed some kind of ritual to get rid of this angry spirit so we could do what we had intended to do when we took this hunt on: help people.

"You know what? You're right. I'm not gonna kill her. I think slow torture's the way to go." Dean said, and I smiled.

"Dean, look, you got to relax." Sam told him.

Dean turned to him. "Relax? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'll relax. I can't believe she got another one over on us."

"You." Sam and I pointed out.

"What?" Dean asked us.

Sam nodded at him. "She got one over on _you_, not _us_."

"Thank you, Sam! It's very helpful!" Dean told him, and then suddenly there was a knock on the door.

I groaned loudly. "She's baaack."

"Hello? Could you open up? Just let me explain." Bela said, and Dean opened the door. "I sold it. I had a buyer lined up as soon as I knew it existed."

"So, the whole reason for us going to the charity ball was…" Sam started, trailing off.

I glared at her. "She needed a cover, and we were convenient. I bet she can't even buy it back judging from the look on her face…what happened Bela?"

She sent me a look because she didn't like my fake concern, but that was _all_ that I had for her. Bela had played us and was now crawling back to us because I was pretty certain that she needed our help, and we were just supposed to do it? I mean of course we were—that was what we did—but for some reason, I really didn't care what happened to her.

"It's halfway across the ocean. I can't get it back in time." She explained and then sighed. "I saw the ship."

I laughed and nodded. "This night is getting better already."

Dean nodded in agreement. "Well, you know, I knew you were an immoral, thieving, con-artist bitch, but just when I thought my opinion of you couldn't get any lower…"

"What are you talking about?" Bela asked him, honestly confused.

"We figured out the spirit's motive. This is the captain of our ship, the one who hung our ghost boy." Sam explained to her.

"So?" Bela asked us.

I smiled and stood up, crossing over to her. "So, they were brothers." I told her as Sam put the picture down in front of her. "It was all very Cain and Abel. Our spirit here, he's going after a very specific kind of target...people who've spilled their own family's blood. First, there was Sheila, who killed her cousin in a car accident, then the Warren brothers, who murdered their father for the inheritance…and now you."

"Oh, my God." Bela said slowly, letting it all sink in.

"So, who was it, Bela?" Dean asked her. "Hmm? Who'd you kill? Was it Daddy? Your little sis, maybe?"

"It's none of your business." Bela replied quickly.

Dean nodded at that. "No…right…well, have a nice life…you know, whatever's left of it. Sam, Lanni—let's go."

"You can't just leave me here." Bela told us.

"Watch us." Dean replied.

I realized just how much the three of us hated her, but at the same time, I was kind of worried about all of this. Were we becoming just as bad as Bela here? Why wasn't I being the voice of reason that I used to be? Was I honestly just destined to become evil like everyone else in my family? How did my mother redeem herself? Why did she have to procreate with a demon? Why was all of this happening to _me_?

Bela looked a little scared. "Please, I need your help."

"Our help?" Dean exclaimed. "Well, now, how could a couple of serial killers possibly help you?"

"Okay, that was a bit harsh, I admit it. But it doesn't warrant a death sentence." Bela told him, giving him a look.

"That's not why you're gonna die." Sam corrected her. "What did you do, Bela?"

Bela shook her head. "You wouldn't understand. No one did. Never mind. I'll just do what I've always done. I'll deal with it myself."

"You do realize you just sold the only thing that could save your life." Dean told her.

She nodded at that. "I'm aware."

"Well…maybe not the only thing." Sam explained to them.

I groaned. "You guys go save her, and I'm going to stay here."

"You know, I figured you'd be the first person to try and save a life—even if it was mine. You don't want that evil running through your veins to take over, do you?" Bela asked me.

I looked at her and scoffed. "I'm staying because I'm pregnant—not because I don't want to watch them save you from dying."

Bela nodded at me. "Right…that was convincing."

I smiled at her. "I'm glad."

I nodded and headed for the stairs, Dean stopping my hand with his and I turned to him, aware that Bela was there, happy when he kissed me gently. Lately it had just been the little things with us, and I was so glad to have Dean by my side like this. Then when our lips parted and he told me he loved me and I said it back, I went up to the bedroom as the boys left, trying to think about what I was going to do. I could just skip out now—what Bela said had gotten to me. I was always trying to save people, and suddenly I wanted people to die. What was with that? Whether Bela deserved it or not, I was better than she was…so why wasn't I acting like it?

I curled up under the covers and sighed to myself as Dark Lana started telling me that it was natural that I had these feelings. Ever since I got pregnant things had suddenly gotten more bizarre, and I had to agree with her. Maybe the baby was already evil. Maybe Dad was right about him fighting on his side. Maybe my destiny wasn't to be with Dean at all—it was to raise my son to lead demon armies.

I feel asleep rather upset, surprisingly sleeping rather well, waking up to Sam and Dean packing to leave. I sat up slowly, and Dean sat down next to me, looking me over, sighing a little when I avoided the eye contact with him. I knew I was feeling sorry for myself and I shouldn't be, but I was scared, and nothing that Dean said would make me any _less _scared about raising our son without him. He stroked my hair when I didn't say anything, and asked me to look at him, so I did.

"What's wrong?" He asked me.

I shrugged. "Is Bela alive?"

Dean nodded slowly. "Yes…but I didn't think you'd care about that."

"I don't…that's the problem. Sam can't save anyone, and I don't want anyone to live." I explained lamely.

Dean was going to talk to me about it all, but Sam called for him, so he went downstairs. I sighed loudly and got up and packed too, heading down the stairs in a maternity shirt that actually made me look amazing, just as Bela walked through the door without knocking. Really? She had to just come back and barge in like she owned the place? I was _so_ ready for her to leave already.

"You boys should learn to lock your doors. Anyone could just barge in." Bela told us.

"Anyone just did." Sam replied to her. "Did you come to say 'goodbye' or 'thank you'?"

Bela walked up to them. "I've come to settle affairs. Giving the spirit what he really wanted…his own brother. Very clever, Sam. So, here." She said, throwing all three of us a wad of cash. "It's $15,000. That should cover it. I don't like being in anyone's debt."

"So, ponying up 15 grand is easier for you than a simple thank you? You're so damaged." Dean told her.

"Takes one to know one." She told him. "Goodbye, lads…and Lana."

She left the house, and I rolled my eyes, even though the money would definitely help. I could use some of it for the baby, and I definitely needed to set Johnny up a nursery since he'd be here in around three months.

"She's got style. You got to give her that." Sam said nodding.

"I suppose." Dean replied shrugging.

Sam nodded again. "You know, Dean, we don't know where this money's been."

"No…but I know where it's going." Dean told him and then he looked up at me. "Part of its going to a nursery."

I smiled at him and nodded, all three of us getting onto the road, Sam excited to be heading back to Kansas to meet back up with Kate. Seeing Kate again was actually going to be a highlight for me too, and yet I had to tell them that when we got there, I needed to _stay_ there. I needed to get my own life in control and stop making the boys share time with me when I was a danger to them. Then Dean said we should go to Atlantic City first and _then_ go home, and I knew that a fight was happening now.

"Seriously? Atlantic City?" Sam said looking at the map.

"Hell yeah. Play some roulette. Always bet on black." Dean told him, and right when I thought it was my in, Dean got serious and continued. "Hey, listen, I've been doing some thinking. Um, I want you to know I understand why you did it. I understand why you went after the crossroads demon. You know, situation reversed, I guess I'd have done the same thing. I mean, I'm not blind. I see what you're going through with this whole deal, me going away and all that…but you're gonna be okay—you and Lanni both."

"You think so? You think I'll get over it?" Sam asked him, and I knew that as upset as I was about it, Sam was getting livid.

Dean nodded at him. "Yeah. You'll keep hunting. You know, you'll live your life. You're stronger than me. You are. You are. You'll get over it. You'll help Lanni raise our son, and you'll both be happy again. Even so, I want you to know I'm sorry. I'm sorry for putting you both through all this. I am."

"You know what, Dean? Go screw yourself." Sam told him.

"What?" Dean asked him.

"I don't want an apology from you. And by the way, I'm a big boy now. I can take care of myself—me and Lanni." Sam replied angrily.

Dean made a face. "Oh, well, excuse me."

"So would you please quit worrying about me? I mean, that's the whole problem in the first place! I don't want you to worry about me, Dean! I want you to worry about you! I want you to give a crap that you're dying! I want you to give a crap that you're leaving your wife without her husband, and your son without a father! I want you to care that you're going to Hell!" Sam yelled, but Dean remained silent and I felt the tears start to well up because I had to leave them but like this? "So, that's it? Nothing else to say for you?"

Dean put on a brave face. "I think maybe I'll play craps."

I nodded and spoke up. "When we get to Kansas, I'm not leaving again."

Sam turned to face me. "What?"

"I'm not leaving again." I repeated sadly. "I'm a liability now, and I'm pregnant, and I have an evil inside of me that I can't control, and I need to learn how to. Last time Dark Lana stayed out, she was terrible—she was willing to let Sam die. And you know what? She doesn't give a rat's ass about Dean going to Hell—all she cares about is raising our son to rely on dark magic. I can't do this hunting thing anymore because she comes out during vulnerable moments for me and I _have _to think about my baby. I'm…I'm not strong enough to fight her, and I don't want to lose Dean before his time because Dark Lana got him killed…I'm sorry."

The whole car was silent for a few minutes, and I nodded, leaning back in the seat and wringing my hands a little. No one knew what to say, and between my wanting to stay in Kansas to do what Vanessa had told me and become one with my other half, and Dean's wanting to waste some of his time left on Atlantic City, I knew Sam was in a really bad mood. Dean wanted to say something to convince me not to give up on him and to stay with him and do what I had been doing—_not _exactly hunting—but we all knew how stubborn I was, and they could tell that my mind was made up.

"Are you going to stay in touch?" Sam asked me finally.

I shrugged slowly. "If I can I will."

**Note: That was kind of a sad end to a chapter. Well, don't you want to see what more I have planned for this? The next chapter is going to be…interesting, haha. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	61. Getting Through it All Together

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**So this chapter is…interesting—that's really the **_**only**_** word I have for it, haha.**

**So this also has different POVs, and you'll understand why as you read.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

I should have known that Dean wasn't going to let me just stay behind on my own while he and Sam ran off to hunt. We stayed in Kansas for three full days, the morning of the fourth day, spent with Sam and Kate running off together to spend the day out away from all of us, and Dean was doing things with Kevin while I sat with Jen. She was determined to make all of this work and so was I—there were so many variables to look over and maybe distancing myself _wasn't _the right idea…maybe I needed Dean to help me through all of this. Still, there was only _one_ person who could _truly_ help me with my Dark Lana problem…

"You look like you're planning something." Jen told me slowly. "This have to do with your memory gifts?"

I nodded and took a deep breath. "Vanessa wants me to be the new legacy of the Meckenzies—I just want to be in control of my other half, Jenny."

"So what are you going to do?" Jen asked me, Minah sitting on her knee engrossed in a book about boats while Kaydence played on the floor with the battery operated train.

"I'm going to go and see Aunt Debra." I replied firmly. "I'm going to live with her, because she's been through this and she survived it all. She knows what's wrong with me, and she's gotten her dark side under control, so she can help me with mine."

"What about when your water breaks? Do you think you'll be in control in the next three months?" Jen asked me.

I shrugged a little. "I hope so, but I can't make any promises. Aunt Debra says this is a really hard thing to do, and since I'm more demon than human these days…it might be impossible to live in unison completely with her. I just _need_ to, you know?"

"Well whatever it takes, you'll have me." Dean said, coming over to me.

It was pretty obvious that he had been standing in the doorway while Jen and I were discussing and I smiled up at him softly. He was so good to me and I wished that he knew that I was trying to do this to protect _him_ too, but he was stubborn and I had to live with that. Dean was going to stick by me no matter my decision, and I really hoped that he could _live_ with that, because hunting was his passion.

"In fact, you should have her come here." Dean told me, Kevin kissing Jen's head as he came into the room too, then he headed for Kaydence. "I mean she's going to be helping you anyway, and I don't see why you can't just be near all of us who want to help you _and_ work through your issues."

I bit my lip and nodded slowly. "I understand that, but what if she takes over and I can't get back into control and she hurts someone—hurts one of you? I can't live with that, and you shouldn't make me."

"Yeah, but you're not living without me, so you're going to have to deal with it." Dean replied, getting a cup down from the cupboards and getting himself some water from the sink. "As of right this second, I'm done hunting until you're doing it with me again. Hell, I'm gonna die soon, so I might as well just build a life with you."

"You know a couple years ago you wouldn't have." I said with a smile, going over to him and wrapping my arms around his waist. "Fine…we do this _your_ way, however—if anyone needs your help on a hunt, you are going, no questions asked."

"Well if you're going to get all commanding about it." Dean replied, rolling his eyes and then winking at me and smiling as he drank his water.

We both knew that even if we stopped, Kate wasn't going to because she had other reasons to hunt. If she ever needed help, I needed to know that Sam and Dean would protect her and Hell, if Kate went out hunting, Sam was going to follow her. To be honest, it was kind of weird to think about, but at the same time it was just one of those things that we had to think about.

"I just remembered that Debra doesn't like me—she was a fan of Sammy when we met her." Dean said, making a face. "She's not going to want to _live_ with me."

I shrugged and kissed his cheek. "That's kind of too bad, because she's going to be living in our house, so she's going to have to deal—you're my husband and whether or not she likes you is not _my_ problem."

"Perfect answer." Kevin said, laughing as he sat on the floor and Kaydence sat in his lap, leaning down every once in a while to play with the train. "I think you two have officially become a married couple. Still discussing _everything_, no matter how bad?"

"I'd certainly like to _think_ so." I replied, looking at Dean and then nodding as he did. "Hey look…we've given marriage a real go."

Jen scoffed and it made Minah grin. "You guys have a _long_ way to go yet. Dean's a lot more like Kevin than you think, Lan—they both want more kids."

"I know! And Johnny isn't even _born_ yet!" I exclaimed, winking at Jen as we laughed.

The two of us had so much to tease the boys about, and the fact that they took all of our crap spoke wonders about them. Dean just rolled his eyes and kissed me, Kevin saying that maybe he and Dean should team up, which warranted that death glare that Jen always did so well. Then I looked up as Kalli and Annie made their way into the room and I hugged them, glad to be back around them, and laughing a little when they both touched my stomach and told me how big I was getting.

"Thanks, I appreciate it." I told them, rolling my eyes and laughing a little more. "I think he's ready to see his family…well mostly ready, anyway."

Annie smiled at that. "Oh I _know_ he is…can I tell her, Kalli?"

"No! This is the _worst_ time to tell her! Wait until Aunt Debra has helped her." Kalli replied, grabbing an apple out of the fruit basket and biting into it. "Besides, it's _my_ private life."

"She's with Chase." Jen said shrugging, shrugging again when Kalli shot her a look, mouth open. "What? Sorry."

Dean waved his hand a little. "Wait, wait, wait—back up…Chase? As in the vampire?"

"Yes, and I am back with Penn." Annie explained, looking at me. "I can still live in the house with you, right?"

"Of course you can, Annie." I told her nodding. "It's just as much your house as it is mine and Dean's. Now…Chase?"

Kalli sighed loudly and began to tell us all about how Chase was misunderstood and I knew Dean was worried. Chase wasn't the kind of…guy…that we wanted around our baby, but we let Kalli talk and explain and then we called Aunt Debra, who was more than willing to come and help me out. She was willing to help me to train and the first thing she did when I opened up the door of the house to her was hug me and then rub my stomach, smiling at me.

"Well, well, well—if everything you've told me is true, then we have a lot to do. You sure you can do this while you're pregnant?" She asked me.

I nodded at her. "Nothing can hurt the baby…he's fine."

Aunt Debra nodded in agreement. "Azazel said he'd lead his armies and if that's what you want to stop…then you've come to the right place."

I nodded again, and then I showed her where she would be staying, suddenly feeling like Jen, housing everyone. It was going to be me, Dean, Annie, and Kate and Sam if they wanted, and then Aunt Debra. Nevertheless, I was being convinced left and right that having everyone by my side would help me through all of the hard parts of my training. As long as this helped me to control my powers and to become one with my dark half…I was willing to do _anything_.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

I was _incredibly _confused when Bela called me out of the blue just to inquire about where I was. Apparently she had called Dean and though surprised he was settled in with Lana, he explained he wasn't hunting so she had called me. My beef with Bela wasn't Lana's beef, and I was _also_ surprised that Dean was settling down a bit with Lana. There was nothing more adorable, but it just wasn't for me—I was a hunter, and there were still things I needed to do. Hell, Sam and I had stumbled onto this hunt while trying to get Dean out of his damn deal…something I was still worried about for all sorts of different reasons.

Sam was sitting in the motel room trying to get over me having to behead the vampire we had found, and I was trying to deal with what the vampire had told us. It seemed like there was someone in this town _slipping people_ vampire blood, in order to turn them and add to his family. Vampires were kind of my forte, so it was the perfect job to stumble across…even though it was making me uneasy. There were things about my past that Sam might not understand…then again, he could very well understand just fine…I just didn't know _how_ to tell him.

"Three blondes have gone missing, including Lucy—all last sighted here. I'm telling you, Kate, this is the hunting ground." Sam explained to me.

I nodded at him. "Of course it is, and we have to go back into the alley, but…I need to explain something to you, all right?"

"Explain what?" He asked me, stroking my hair.

"You know how I'm half demon like Lanni?" I asked him, nodding as he nodded at me, scooting close to me to signal that he was here for me. "Well because of the demon blood I never became a vampire…but once I was really hurt and one gave me some of his blood to heal me—to help me to live. These people—these women—that are being drugged with vampire blood…they're not as lucky as me. We need to find whoever is doing this…and _stop_ them."

Sam nodded and kissed me softly. "Thank you for always being truthful with me, Kate."

"Of course." I replied, kissing him back and then pulling away. "Now let's go save some lives, shall we?"

Sam agreed and we headed out into the alley, finding Dixon, the dealer we were trying to find. He was about to drop some vampire blood into a young blonde woman's mouth, when I stopped him. I told the woman to get away and then tried to fight Dixon, but he got the upper hand on me and then fled. Sam and I tried chasing him down, but found ourselves face to face with Kubrick and Gordon.

"Weren't we free of them?" I asked Sam.

He took a deep breath. "We should run."

"You go…I can draw their attention away, all right?" I said hurriedly, and took off before he could stop me, drawing the attention away so Sam could get away, losing Kubrick and Gordon and knowing I needed to find Sam.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Training to keep Dark Lana in control was hard, and it was exhausting no matter what techniques we tried. Dean was getting a little weary about me crashing every night, and about the pained looks on my face every once in a while, completely worried about Johnny. I was worried too, but he seemed to be fine, and as long as I wasn't _too _exhausted, Dean kept his mouth shut and just stayed by my side.

"My hormones also have a big affect on her." I told Aunt Debra. "I mean, it wasn't this bad with her until I was pregnant."

She nodded slowly. "She wants this baby to prosper—but only for Azazel."

"I bet he wishes I was the obedient child I'm sure he wanted." I said sadly.

She told me to stop feeling sorry for myself, and to work harder—that was the only way for me to be able to be in control of this. I did as I was told, and then one night I had a terrible dream about Paige turning on me, and Dark Lana took over. I watched as she snuck out and then snuck into Jen's, kidnapping Paige with strength I didn't know I could muster and I was worried about where this was going.

"Lana?" She asked groggily, but one movement from my hand knocked her out…silencing her.

When she woke up, I was standing over her with a gun, and she was gagged. I took the gag off of her and she looked up at me, completely freaked out. It didn't matter how much I was struggling…this was just something that was going to happen, and I wouldn't be able to stop it. There was something going on here—a deeper plight I wasn't aware of—and I was about to kill one of my friends in cold blood.

"Lana…what?" Paige tried, swallowing in her confusion.

"You're trying to find a way to kill me—separate Lana and I from each other." Dark Lana told her, cutting her off. "I can't allow that."

"You're not natural!" Paige yelled at her.

Dark Lana shrugged. "Neither are you."

She raised the gun and fired it, the bullet going straight into Paige's head. I wanted to cry but Dark Lana was in control, and I heard Lance's voice reach me through all of the thoughts swirling around. Dark Lana let me regain control, and I went to Paige, touching her softly, trying to see if there was any hope left for her…any hope left for me.

"Paige…" I said, my voice trembling. "Paige…what have I done?"

"Lana." Lance said, taking me by the shoulders and pulling me away from her. "Lana."

I pulled out of his grip and shook my head. "No. Stay away from me, Lance!"

I took off from the warehouse, losing him and making sure he was actually not following me before I went back to my house. Sure he knew where I lived and sure he would find me and tell someone, and Dean needed to know. He needed to know what I had done and I started to cry when he came into the greeting area when I closed the front door behind me, worried because he'd woken up without me there.

"I killed her…" I choked out, the blood still on my hands, Dean coming over to hold me close. "She took over and…and Paige is dead…"

What if I wasn't strong enough to do this? What if I was just delaying the inevitable?

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

I got to the motel as quickly as I could, Sam hurrying over to check me for wounds, and me wearing my 'pissed' face. Bela had called me and asked me where I was, and I had stupidly told her and now people were after us—Gordon was after _Sam_. That bitch was going to pay, and though I was thankful for Sam and wanted to prove to him that I was, I had my phone out already.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked me.

I made a face when Bela answered the phone cheerfully. "I am going to hunt you down, rip out your intestines and _strangle_ you with them! I am _not_ Sam, Lana or Dean, Bela—you fuck with me or my boyfriend, and I will retaliate!"

"Whoa, Kate, honey, calm down." Sam said, realizing who I was on the phone with and what I was doing. "Hang up now."

"Gordon Walker paid me to tell him where you were—it was just business. You're a witch, Kate." Bela told me, and she sounded so calm.

I laughed a little angrily. "You know what? There were two of them, and witch or not, I'm going to kill you. So pray to God I don't see you next time you meet up with the boys—you're first on my list."

I hung up the phone before she could answer and then threw it onto the bed and let out a grunt of anger. Lana had always told me that I needed to control my anger and I needed to pick my fights, but I just couldn't lose Sam—not _again_. If there was one thing that I had learned since he died on me the first time, it was that I would do _anything_ for him. Bela had led Gordon straight to Sam, and if anything happened to him, I was going to hunt her down.

"Honey, you have to _calm down_." Sam told me, placing his hands on my shoulders as I closed my eyes and tilted my head up towards the ceiling. "Hey…look at me…"

I slowly opened my eyes and looked at Sam. "I'm sorry, okay, Sammy? I just…everything I love is taken away from me and I _can't_ lose you again. She sent Gordon right to us, and I just…what if he had killed you! _Again_?"

"You really care about me…a lot." Sam said, stroking my hair and then kissing me softly. "I love you too, for the record, and I'd do _anything_ to protect you."

For a moment I just kissed him back, but as he took his jacket off I pulled back and looked at him. What had he just said? What had _I_ just said? I just nodded as he laughed a little and kissed him back, cupping his face and making sure he was as close to me as I could get him. He was trying to show me that he wasn't just going to up and leave me and I really appreciated that. I needed to know that Sam was going to be all right—I needed to know that I wasn't going to lose him.

"I wish I'd said it differently." I whispered as Sam pulled back to pull his shirt off, my hands immediately setting out to touch his abs.

Sam shook his head, smiling at me. "I don't—I think you said it perfectly."

"I do you know?" I said, stroking his hair as he gathered me up in his arms. "You've made me love you."

"I'm glad I have you, Kate." Sam replied, kissing me gently, lying us down on one of the motel beds, the other mattress up against the window.

I decided to just go ahead and give in this time, and show Sam just how much I _did_ love him. Part of me felt like for us this was far too soon, but the other part of me knew this was right…_all_ of me knew this was right. Sam was with me, and he was letting me in _all the way_, and for some reason he dealt with my crazy. I had never met a man before _this okay_ with my crazy…and I realized just _how much_ I appreciated him.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Dean brought me some hot chocolate since he was starting to getting almost _overly_ protective about me and the baby and I thanked him, holding it and looking at it. I had taken a couple of showers and then sat on the couch, a blanket over me, Dean looking after me, Aunt Debra in the kitchen making us a late night snack. Annie was spending the night at Penn's, Kate and Sam were on a hunt because she had been told of it and it was one of those hunts she felt she had to do, and so it was just me, Dean and Aunt Debra.

"I'm freaking out." I told him, staring at the scoop of vanilla ice cream floating in my hot chocolate. "This is the worst that it has ever been. I mean she relinquished control almost immediately after the deed was done, but…I'm freaking out, Dean."

Dean nodded and stroked my hair, taking a deep breath and trying to word it all to me. He was scared too—in fact I was so worried that the thought had crossed my mind to just force him to leave. I didn't want to put him in any danger, but at the same time I didn't think I could do this without him…even if he was afraid of me…even if he wasn't sure what it was he was going to do.

"What was her motive?" Dean asked me, sighing a little when I set the cup down.

I bit my lip. "Paige was trying to separate my dark side from me—that would have been terrible. I know it's weird, and we're kind of different…but she's _part_ of me. Without her, I'm vulnerable and that's why we have to become one. She didn't want me to be vulnerable."

"She was _protecting_ you?" Dean asked, skeptically, but actually accepting the idea of it.

"Yeah…it's weird, but she was." I explained, the tears coming. "Even though she scares me…she wants Johnny and I safe…I need to control this. I can't _kill_ again, Dean. I cared about Paige."

"I know you did." Dean admitted, taking a deep breath. "I know _I_ was never keen on her, but…I know how much she meant to you. Let's go to bed and then in the morning I'll leave you with Deb, okay? I want you to train with no distractions."

I smiled at him and then it brightened as I felt Johnny kick, reaching for Dean's free hand and placing it on my stomach, holding it there. The fingers of his other hand were running through my hair, and he smiled when Johnny kicked again, right against his hand, Dean wiping my tears away and kissing me softly. He was so glad that he was going to get to be a father—it was part of why he was backing me up no matter what. Anything that helped us to have Johnny was just the decision that we had to make.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

"You know…the vampire's still out there." I whispered, kissing Sam softly as he held me to him, both of us snugly under the covers and stroking each other's bare skin.

Sam brushed his thumb across my chin. "I know, and we need to find Gordon."

"What we need to do is—" I began, but sighed when my phone rang and I made a face and answered it. "This had better be good, Bitch."

"I don't like it when people hold grudges against me," Bela explained to me, "and more to the point, I'd rather you didn't kill me, so I went ahead and found Gordon's exact location for you."

I softened a little. "Wait a minute…because you don't want me to rip out your intestines and strangle you with them…you're going to help? Where is he?"

"Warehouse. Two stories, riverfront, neon sign outside." Bela answered and I nodded and thanked her. "One more thing…the spirit had a message for you: 'Leave town, run like hell, and whatever you do, don't go after Gordon'. For whatever that's worth."

I hung up the phone and then looked at Sam. He started to laugh and I smiled a little, shaking my head because I _still _didn't understand why he liked me and why he dealt with my crazy. Sam kissed me, sweet and slow, and then the two of us got up and got dressed, going to the warehouse and finding Dixon, sitting amongst a bunch of beheaded bodies, me picking up the large knife on the table—definite buzz kill after great sex, let me tell you that right now.

"Go ahead. Do it. Kill me." Dixon told us.

Sam looked around. "What happened here?"

"Gordon Walker. I never should have brought a hunter here. Never," Dixon repeated, getting up. "I just…I just wanted some kind of revenge. This was stupid…exposing him to my family."

Dixon's voice trembled and tears appeared in his eyes, making me feel a feeling in my stomach. Normally I took pity on vampires, and I was doing it now, but something was wrong—something was up. I didn't know exactly what was going to happen, but I knew that he was about to tell us something that we did _not_ want to know and I didn't know how this was going to end.

"What…happened?" I asked him pointedly.

"I was desperate." Dixon explained to us. "You ever felt desperate? I've lost everyone I ever loved. I'm staring down eternity alone. Can you think of a worse Hell?"

I shook my head. "No…no, I can't."

"I wasn't thinking. I just…I didn't care anymore. Do you know what it's like when you just don't give a damn? It's like…it's like being dead already. So just go ahead. Do it."

"Kate…" Sam said, looking at a body whose head had been _ripped_ off, rather than _cut_ off, and he looked at Dixon. "Dixon…what did you do to Gordon?"

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I woke up in the middle of the night because of a heat flash, biting my lip and glancing at Dean as he slept peacefully. Mostly I was worried about Kate—she had called me and explained to me that Gordon was a vampire and that she and Sam had to hunt him down, and I wanted everything to be all right. Kate had told me she didn't want me to send Dean to them, and though I tried to insist, she had won the argument, and he was still with me…still protecting me.

"I don't deserve him." I whispered, getting up and heading into the nursery.

Dean and I had been trying to decorate it, and I smiled a little sitting in the rocking chair and trying to meditate a little. I knew the exercises back and forth and though I was kind of exhausted, I knew that becoming one with Dark Lana was a must. So since I was awake, why not go through the motions to try and control her?

_I'm not resisting you_. She told me.

I smiled at that and nodded, speaking aloud. "I know…I know that you care about me, believe it or not. We just…it's dangerous for us _not_ to be in balance."

_I understand that…you still have a lot to embrace._ She reminded me.

"I know I do…that's why I'm so scared." I admitted.

"Scared of what?" Dean asked me, leaning on the doorframe.

I looked up at him and smiled a little, resting my hand on my stomach and taking a deep breath. Nothing was kept secret from each other these days, but at the same time, sometimes I freaked out a little about what he would _say_ about _what_ was going on with me. He walked over to me and then knelt by the rocking chair, placing his hand on my stomach, letting me hold his hands there.

"Baby…you can tell me." He said, kissing my free hand and then smiling a little when I went to run my fingers through his hair. "I love you, Lanni. I'm worried when I wake up in the middle of the night and you're not there—I get even _more_ worried when I wake up and hear you say you don't deserve me."

I nodded, smiling a little. "I have to start using the powers that I'm afraid of. It's the next step and I just…I'm worried about that, you know?"

"I'm worried about it too, but if it helps you, and it helps Johnny…then, Lanni, you _have_ to do it." Dean explained to me, running his thumb along my belly. "You have to do whatever it takes to keep you and our son safe."

"What if I don't want you to see me like that?" I asked him slowly.

It took me a moment to make direct eye contact with him after asking that, but I knew I had to ask it. He was scared enough about the demon things, but to see me actually embrace the part of me that was demonic? I didn't want Dean to be afraid of _me_. I didn't want him to look at me differently. There was no way that I could live with myself, if doing all of this drove Dean away from me.

"Baby, I am going to love you, and be right by your side, no matter _what_ you do." Dean explained, kissing me gently. "Please…don't feel like you have to hide from me. You're _my_ Lanni, okay?"

I smiled, tears of joy coming to my eyes, kissing him again. "I love you so much, Dean Winchester."

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

Sam and I had been looking for Gordon for more than 24 hours, but it wasn't helping us at all. We couldn't find Gordon anymore, and Sam was getting upset about everything. It was nothing that had to do with me, but at the same time, it kind of did. He and I were both worried about Dean—both worried about how Dean was either at Lana's side trying to live a normal life, or he was running straight into danger…we were just trying to make all of this work for everyone.

"I'm starting to want to give up." I admitted, tossing my hands up into the air as I went back into the motel room and took off my jacket.

Sam looked up at me. "We can't give up."

"I can try a spell." I said nodding, tossing my jacket onto the bed we were sharing and then heading for my duffle to get out a spell book. "Any news on Dean's deal?"

"No…nada." Sam replied, shutting his laptop and looking at the tabled in front of him.

I sighed and nodded, going over to him and rubbing his shoulders, trying to figure out how to help him with this. We were hitting dead ends _everywhere_ and I didn't know how to help Sam to feel better. His brother was going to die, and there was nothing that we could do about this no matter how hard we tried. Everything was starting to look hopeless, and I just wanted to deal with this and help Sam…but how?

"He's scared and he won't admit it." Sam said suddenly, sighing loudly.

I massaged his shoulders. "Dean?"

"Yes." Sam replied, and I could hear the pain in his voice. "I just don't understand him. He has a wife! He's going to have a son! How can he just give up? You can see it, right? You can see the fear he has? I've been looking up to him since I was four—trying to be like him…trying to be like my big brother—I _know_ him!"

"I know you do." I told him softly, kissing the top of his head. "Talk to him about it, Sammy…please."

Sam nodded and called Dean as I looked up the spell, both of them arguing a little over the phone, but when Sam had said his piece, he seemed a little better. When he hung up with Dean, he came over to me and sat on the bed with me, wrapping his arm around me and kissing my temple. He was trying to get through this rough patch, and as I kissed him gently, my phone rang and I made a face. Sam and I had gotten new phones because of Gordon tracking us via SIM cards, and it wasn't Lana, Dean or Bobby calling.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, Kate." Gordon told me.

My eyes widened. "I assume you got this number because of our smell in the store? Then again you couldn't find us now because I'm protecting us…you're close, I'm sure. Come and get us."

"Actually…you're going to come to me." Gordon replied, and then held the phone up to a woman's ear, her cries for help coming through the phone. "Shh…Factory on riverside, off the turnpike—be here in 20 minutes or the girl dies."

"Just let the girl go, Gordon." I told him.

"Bye, Kate." Gordon replied.

I took a breath. "Gordon! Don't do this. You don't kill innocent people. You're still a hunter."

"No…I'm a monster." Gordon told me, and hung up the phone.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"You had to know he knew you." I explained to Dean, running my hands up and down his arms as we stood in the kitchen, waiting for the coffee to finish brewing.

He made a face. "I know…he just—he said I was his brother and I need to make this up to him. This is hurting him so much, and I just…I feel bad for what I have put him through right now."

"You'll make it up to him, Dean. Trust me…I know you will." I replied, wrapping my arms around his neck and stepping up close to him. "You have this habit of rising to the occasion."

"I hope you're right." He said, kissing me softly and then pulling back as the coffee maker signaled that it was done. "Now…one cup and one cup only for you, Missy."

I laughed and rolled my eyes, knowing that he was just looking out for me and for Johnny. My caffeine intake was pretty bad normally, but I'd been good ever since I got pregnant. It had been worse for me in the beginning, but for now, I was actually feeling as if I could do this. There were things I had to cope with, and new things I had to get used to, and I was going to do just that…because I was ready for this…I was ready to be a mother.

"I know! Let him fix the car with you!" I exclaimed as he handed me the cup of coffee. "But before that, I think I should practice some powers and I've come to a decision you are _so_ not going to like."

Dean cocked his head to one side after sipping his hot coffee. "What is that? I'm _not_ leaving you, you know."

"I don't want you to leave me." I assured him, smiling a little. "I, uh…I ordered a car seat today. I think that this hunting thing—though a _terrible_ environment to raise a kid—you and I have things we have to do…your time counting down or not. So, I figure once Dark Lana is in control…I can go with you guys…travel…you guys can take out as many bad things as you want before you die, but I want to be with you, and I want you to know your son as best as you can."

"God, I don't deserve you." Dean said, kissing me and slipping his fingers into my hair, both of us setting our cups on the counter and holding onto each other instead. "We'll talk about it, all right?"

I just nodded and smiled as he kissed me again, both of us happy with how things were turning out. Dark Lana and I were in sync more or less—at least with what we both wanted to accomplish—and my husband was trying so hard. Things were going to work out…I was going to make _sure_ of it.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

Sam and I headed straight for the factory, Sam going to untie the girl, but I was kind of worried about her. I knew what it was like to feel someone else with vampire blood in them, and though I was carrying the Colt, I was worried. We needed to find Gordon and so I told Sam to stay close to me, but the iron curtain fell down—we were separated.

"Son of a bitch!" I yelled, beating on it.

I didn't like that Sam was having to face Gordon on his own when Gordon wanted so badly to kill him. He thought that Sam was a monster and now he _was_ a monster and I needed to get to Sam. As I started to try, the girl broke free of her chair and I had to shoot her with the Colt, cursing myself because I _knew_ that Dean was going to kill me for using up one of those bullets—even _if _we could make more now thanks to Ruby…whom I _still_ didn't trust, but that was a story for another time.

"Gordon, I am going to kill you." I said aloud, trying to get to Sam.

I found a way around the iron curtain and went at Gordon as he rushed Sam, making a noise when he got the upper hand. He went to bite me, but I hit him with a fireball, stunning him for a moment as he remembered what he was actually dealing with. Sam got the upper hand on him though with all of the wires around us, decapitating Gordon…saving both of our lives.

"Sammy!" I cried, running to him and wrapping my arms around his neck, not caring that we were both wounded and he was bloody. "God, I'm so glad you're all right."

He nodded and then after one last look at his head on the floor, I picked up the Colt and the two of us headed for the exit. We leaned on each other for support, and realized that we had quite the story to take back to Lana and Dean. Part of us was worried that Dean would want to hunt again after hearing about Sam taking out a super charged vampire, but mostly, we were just glad to have gotten out of this alive with a story to tell.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Kate and Sam told us in great detail about dealing with Gordon and killing Gordon and Dean and I were both a little sorry we'd missed it. She and I sat on the porch and watched as the boys had some beers and Dean tinkered at the car, Kate leaning her head on my shoulder as we watched them, lemonade in our hands, the weather fairly nice outside. We wanted Sam and Dean to bond and they were—it was almost bittersweet to see Sam accepting that Dean was going to die, and yet we both knew that Sam was still helping us to try and find Dean a way out of his ridiculous deal.

"Figure out what's making that rattle?" Sam asked Dean.

Dean shook his head. "Not yet. Give me a box wrench, would you?"

"Yeah," Sam told him, getting out the wrench and handing it to Dean, "there you go."

"Thanks." Dean said and then he glanced at me and I nodded at him, Dean taking a deep breath. "Sam?"

"Wrong one?" Sam asked him.

Dean shook his head. "No, no. Come here for a second."

Kate and I both looked at each other and smiled as Sam got up to do as Dean said, Dean pointing out some things on the car. He wanted Sam to know that he was making an effort here to just be his _brother_, and suddenly I found myself tearing up, Kate stroking my hair. It was just so touching, and yet it hurt me…it hurt me to think that this was all because Dean was passing things down.

"This rattle could be a couple of things. I'm thinking it's an out-of-tune carb." Dean explained to Sam.

Sam nodded at him. "Okay."

"Alright, see this thing? It's a valve cover. Inside are all the parts that are on the head. Hand me that socket wrench. Alright, you with me so far?" Dean asked his brother.

"Yeah, uh, valve cover covers the heads." Sam said, showing Dean what he was talking about.

Dean smiled at him. "Very good. This is your intake manifold, okay? And on top of it?"

"It's, uh, a carburetor." Sam told him.

"Carburetor?" Dean asked Sam.

Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"Very good." Dean told him, a smile on his face.

It was pride that had him glowing and I sipped my lemonade, Sam looking at Dean with that look on his face. Kate just beamed because she found Sam adorable no matter what, and I had to hand it to her—his confused face was mighty cute. I wiped a tear off of my cheek and ran my fingers along my stomach through the material on my shirt and just tried to stay strong.

"What's with the auto shop?" Sam asked Dean, his eyes widening a little as Dean held the wrench out to him. "What, you don't mean you want…?"

Dean nodded at him. "Yeah, I do. You fix it."

"Dean, you barely let me drive this thing." Sam said, Kate and I both laughing a little.

"Well, it's time. You should know how to fix it. You're gonna need to know these things for the future. And, besides, that's my job, right? Show my little brother the ropes." Dean explained, me nodding and biting my lip, a smile forming as Dean went to sit on the cooler that had the beers in it. "Put your shoulder into it."

**Note: A LOT happened there, and I changed this episode SO much, but as you can see, I still got that pivotal Sam/Dean conversation out so…I hope you liked it. The next chapter is kind of…well I really like it. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	62. December is Just Lana's Month

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**All right, this chapter has a huge time jump, but we were all expecting that, right?**

**Season Three went by super fast, and I want this baby born, so…here we are.**

**The next episode is the Christmas one and in order to get there…a **_**very**_** important moment has to happen…this chapter is pretty important, and I hope you enjoy it!**

**I apologize ahead of time for this chapter being short, I just…I wanted to give you guys some fluff…longer chapter next.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

By the time December came around, I was a little worried about _everything_. I was almost to my due date, and Johnny was in the right position to come so it could happen any day. December was just going to be my month: my son was going to be born and it was close to Christmas. The only problem was that since it was December, that meant that Dean officially had only 6 months left to live.

"So…you excited?" Jen asked me.

I smiled at her. "Yeah…I kind of want him to come today."

"Yeah?" Jen said, laughing a little. "I think Kaydee and Minah wanna see their pseudo cousin, actually…and I wanna see if this kid is gonna look more like you, or more like your dashing husband."

"Oh so now he's _dashing_?" I asked her, smiling up at Kevin and Dean as they came into the kitchen with Minah and Kaydence. "Have I mentioned how hot you are when you carry kids around?"

Dean rolled his eyes, Kaydence playing with his necklace. "Why don't _you_ take the little rascal, huh?"

"Because she likes you more." I said shrugging, drinking my apple juice.

Dean smiled at me and handed Kaydence over to me, me nuzzling her nose with mine and smiling at Dean as he kissed the top of my head. Kaydence placed her hand on my stomach and smiled a little when Johnny kicked, Kaydence laughing and pulling her hand away, only to put it back. She was so intrigued by what was happening inside of my belly, and I thought it was an adorable sight.

"The day is almost over and no sign that your water is breaking." Kevin said, stroking my hair and making a face. "I really wanna see my pseudo nephew sometime soon."

I smiled up at him and he kissed my forehead, Kaydence no longer entertained by my stomach because Johnny was no longer kicking or stretching. Sometimes I felt like he was doing somersaults, but right now, nothing, and Kevin was being so sweet to me. We really had started to form a bond that was more like brother/sister—after all, he was married to my practical twin, so our bond had to form _sometime_.

"I just want him to be born." I said shrugging. "Oh well—he'll come when he decides to and not before."

Dean sighed and drank some water. "It would be nice if he could show up sooner rather than later…I do kind of only have around five months left and I'd like to see my son."

"Dean and I are going home to have dinner with Sam and Kate, but we'll be around, I promise. If I go into labor soon, I'll let you know." I told Jen, handing Kaydence over to Kevin and then kissing Jen's forehead softly.

"You better!" Jen said with a laugh, and then Dean helped me into my jacket and we headed for the house.

My exercises had been going well and I felt more in control but I wasn't 'whole' yet…but I was close. I felt like everything could be accomplished and that maybe, just _maybe_, things were finally looking up for me. To top it all off, dinner with the four of us was good, Annie at Penn's again—she'd been spending a _lot_ of time with him—and afterwards we played some cards and then went to bed.

In the middle of the night I woke up, feeling a pain in my stomach, closing my eyes tight and taking a deep breath as Dean continued to sleep on. I knew that my contractions had to be the same amount apart for a steady amount of time or the hospital would just send me back home, and so I just toughed my way through it for a few hours, looking over at the clock and getting up at 4:20am, pushing on Dean's shoulder and then grabbing my packed duffle for the birth. Dean and I had been reading up and taking the necessary classes and though at first he hated the idea, he had been right by my side.

"Baby, it's time to go." I told him as he yawned and tried to snuggle into the bed more, but once I said it, he was alert and he was up. "Can you wake Kate and Sammy while I round up the other duffle, please?"

Dean shook his head, reaching for the duffle. "I'll do all of it—I don't want you carrying _anything_, all right? Just here…take the keys and go grab your jacket. No, better yet…"

Dean pulled his jeans on and then grabbed the duffles, helping me down the stairs and then yelling for Sam and Kate. Kate was up and pushing Sam out the door while Dean helped me into the car, and then we drove to the hospital. Once we were set up in a room and waiting for the doctor, it was _then_ that Dean realized he hadn't put shoes on, and I laughed a little, reaching out and then ending up squeezing his hand tightly as a contraction came, and I just tried to breathe.

"You're doing _perfect_, Lanni." Dean whispered as he tried hard not to show that I was hurting his hand a little. "Just breathe…"

I smiled a little as the contraction subsided. "I want an epidural…like I _really_ want an epidural—and some ice."

"All right, I can do that for you." Dean replied, kissing my hand and then heading out of the room to get the nurse, me leaning my head back on the pillows on the hospital bed.

"Have all of the calls even been made?" I asked aloud, resting the palm of my hand on my forehead. "I need everyone here that wants to be here."

In between contractions, I didn't feel like I was in as much pain, but I knew that once it came time to push Johnny out, I was going to be in a _lot_ of pain. That was why I wanted the epidural instead of doing it naturally because although I had always thought I would give birth naturally, I was in some pain. I couldn't even _imagine_ what it would be like to have to do this _without_ some drugs in my system.

"Lanni?" Annie asked me, poking her head in the door.

I looked over at her and smiled, laughing a bit when she held up the video camera timidly and I just nodded at her. She and I had had long in depth conversations about taping the birth and though everyone thought I was crazy, it was something that I wanted to have—just in case I decided to resurrect Dean, or by some miracle after he was taken from us, we got him back and he needed reminding. Besides, I was a crazy person, and this was just what I wanted.

"Hey, Annie." I told her, smiling at her and kissing her forehead as she came over to the bed and she hugged me. "Thanks for promising to do this—I haven't told Dean you were going to do this yet."

Annie laughed and turned the camera on. "Well he's just going to have to find out the hard way, and then prosperity will get to see his reaction."

"I like your thinking, Devious One." I told her, making a face as a contraction hit and I fisted the sheet over me, biting my lip and trying to breathe.

"And that, Johnny, is a contraction." Annie said, reaching out and letting me squeeze one of her hands and she held the camera with the other. "She's really excited to have you regardless, I promise."

I laughed a little when the contraction subsided and Dean came back into the room, looking at the camera and then giving me a look. It was pretty obvious that he didn't want the birth to be taped, but when I gave him a look back he just held his hands up in surrender and then the nurse came in. She gave me the epidural and though that in itself was uncomfortable—I mean it's a big shot in your spine so how can it _not_ be uncomfortable—I was pretty happy that I was going to be pretty numb. The nurse explained to me that I would feel pressure and potentially a slight burning sensation, but that the pain would be nonexistent until later when the epidural wore off.

"So…it's going to be you, me and Annie then?" Dean asked me.

I smiled at him and nodded. "Yeah—everyone else is waiting out in the waiting room until it's all over. Bobby, Kate, Sammy, Aunt Debra, Jen, Kevin, the girls, Kalli…I think that's it. Lance might show, but he didn't think he was going to be welcome, friend or not…"

"I don't mind him seeing this." Dean said with a shrug, a smug look crossing over his face, him shrugging when I gave him a look. "What? I _enjoy_ marking my territory."

I smiled at him and returned the kiss he placed to my lips, Annie 'awwing' and pointing out to Johnny via the video that his parents were very much in love, and then Dean had a remark about how true men shield their feelings at the right moment. We just bantered a little until the contractions were closer together and the doctor said it was almost time—Dean holding my hand the whole way through. After my water broke, it only took 20 minutes for Johnny to be born, Dean cut the cord, and suddenly we were all crying, looking at the wonder that was the bundle of joy in my arms.

xxxx

The first words that Johnny heard were, "Hey there Johnny-Bear" after the doctor announced we had a healthy baby boy and gave us congratulations. He heard my voice and his crying ceased, the doctor handing him over to me and letting Dean and I look him over, Dean crying proud tears as Annie filmed silently, trying to keep the crying to a minimum, and then the doctors took Johnny over to the other part of the room and Dean helped give him his first bath. From that point, the doctors let me hold my son and everyone filed in to say their 'hellos' to Johnny, Annie catching it all on film.

We had all come to the consensus that Johnny had Dean's nose and his eyes, but that other than that he looked like me, surprisingly. Honestly he was a rather good mix, but he had my facial structure and I was all right with that—it would make looking at him after Dean was gone a lot easier. Nothing about Dean dying was going to be easy by _any_ means, but at least when I looked at our son, I wouldn't see Dean staring back at me…yeah I'd see his eyes, but it would be easier to get past.

"God he's beautiful." Aunt Debra cooed, stroking his soft cheeks as Bobby held him—the first one after Dean because Sam had _insisted_ on it being that way.

I smiled, Dean stroking my hair as he sat by my side. "He really, _really_ is."

"Sam's turn, I think." Bobby said aloud, handing Johnny over to Sam, Sam looking down at the sleeping baby in his arms.

"He really _does_ look like you, Lanni." Sam commented, looking up at me and then smiling, looking back at Johnny and then letting the smile become a grin. "He's perfect."

"You have no arguments from us there." Dean said with a laugh.

The rest of us joined in and then Kate took over the camera, telling Annie that it was her turn next and then Aunt Debra's, everyone getting a turn, and everything getting filmed. Then once everyone had visited, they all started to file out to get on with their lives—soon it was just me, Dean, Johnny, Sam, Kate and Jen. Kevin took the girls home because Kaydence was getting fussy and she needed her sleep, and though Jen was going to follow him shortly after, she wanted to hold Johnny a little longer.

"How does it feel?" Jen asked, looking up at me and Dean, Dean now on the bed with me, just lying there as Sam held Kate on his lap on the windowbed. "You two are parents now—you have a whole other life to look after."

Dean nodded, kissing my temple. "Yeah…I'm a father."

"You're an _amazing_ one." I assured him, kissing his hand, my eyes closed because I was exhausted no matter the rush I had had before. "I feel…I feel great, Jenny. I feel great."

"I concur." Dean said, he and Jen smiling at each other. "Now as much as I love _all_ of you…my baby needs some sleep—and so does our son."

I smiled at that and laughed softly, Dean getting up to get Johnny from Jen, me opening my eyes and giving Jen a proper send off before Kate and Sam readied themselves to leave too. They were headed back to the house and they were going to leave the windowbed to Dean, and us to our son and we appreciated it. After all of the hugging and the kissing and the smiling, everyone left and it was just me, Dean and our son…our _son_. It felt so _good_ to be able to share this with Dean—to be able to have this _with_ Dean.

"Sleep, Baby." Dean told me, Johnny sleeping in his arms as he kissed my forehead. "Your boys will still be here in the morning."

I smiled and closed my eyes. "I'm counting on it."

I took one last glance at Dean, still looking down at Johnny, pride swelling in his eyes, and then I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. Waking up, Dean was still watching over Johnny reverently, Johnny awake and staring up at his father with huge, curious eyes, and for the next couple of weeks, Dean and I got used to being parents. It was hard—waking up in the middle of the night to take care of Johnny's needs—but we were both getting through it because we _wanted_ to…we wanted to do this.

"I'm exhausted." I admitted to Dean over the phone, cradling Johnny as he breastfed, trying to keep eye contact with him _and_ talk to his father at the same time. "He's been kind of fussy all day. It's weird because other than the 2am feedings, he's quiet and he's good but today…something's off."

Dean took a deep breath. "You don't think that he's aware I'm hunting, do you?"

"So it's definitely a hunt then?" I asked Dean, closing my eyes momentarily and nodding as he explained to me what was going on.

He and Sam had gone off to spend some time together, wanting to get out of the house because it was Christmastime now and that was big for me, Dean caving to the idea or not. They had wanted to spend time together just the two of them, and this was a good excuse for Sam. Dean wanted to celebrate for once because it was his last Christmas, and Sam didn't want to have it because he didn't want to believe Dean was going to die—and they didn't _do_ Christmas.

However, Dean was married to me and we had Johnny now and I _did_ do Christmas, and he wanted to celebrate it right. Kate had stayed with me because Annie was always in and out doing college classes and hanging out with Penn, and I just wanted everything to be perfect—I didn't want Sam and Dean hunting on their own. All I knew was that what Dean was describing to me, sounded like a hunt and he wanted to do it…he was back in the world he had tried to walk away from and as tired as he was of he senseless killing, he wanted to mean something to the world and help people—and I got that.

"I'm not ruling that out because he has heightened senses, our Johnny-Bear." I explained, smiling at Johnny as he let go. "I have to burp him—I love you and we'll talk soon."

"I'll check in." Dean replied. "Tell Johnny I'm thinking about him."

I smiled at that. "Will do. Bye, Baby."

I hung up the phone and resituated myself, tucking myself back in and then burping Johnny, snuggling him close and keeping an eye on him. He honestly was a good, calm baby most days—I attributed that to the demon blood inside of him. That and he just always seemed so content and everyone showered him with attention, so it seemed to me that he was just taking in his surroundings. Johnny was aware of everything around him and yet not one sign of powers since he'd been born…not a single one.

"Jen wants to know if now is a good time to come over and make some cookies." Kate explained to me, looking at me and smiling as Johnny snuggled against me but looked at her as she held the phone to her ear. "The girls are getting restless."

I smiled up at Kate. "Now is a good time."

"You can come over now." Kate told her, leaving the room.

"Sounds like you're going to get to see Aunt Jen and the girls today too, Johnny-Bear." I told him, kissing his forehead and running my hand over his soft blonde baby hair. "I said we should wash you up a little and put you in the outfit Daddy bought you."

Johnny just looked up at me with those eyes and then slowly but surely, he smiled at me. He was already holding his head up on his own, and it looked like he was going to be a fast learner—both with normal things _and_ with his powers. I was all right with that since Dark Lana and I had been getting closer and closer to being in sync, and ever since Johnny had been born, it was like she was helping me…but at a price.

"It's your first Christmas, Jonny-Bear." I told him as I washed him down with a wash cloth in the infant bath for the sink. "Are you as excited about it as I am?"

Johnny just smiled up at me and started to blow some spit bubbles, fascinated by the soap and the running water, and I smiled at him. I had finally gotten to be a mother—even after all those months when I thought I was never going to get to have this blessing. It almost made me want to have another one—to give Johnny a sibling so he wouldn't have to just deal with me after Dean was gone—but he would have Kaydence and Minah to play with, and I couldn't force _another_ child to life with a single mother…I just couldn't.

So I cleaned him up and then took him downstairs, Jen and the girls coming over, the girls fascinated by Johnny. Minah kept her distance at first—she was definitely the shy one—and Kaydence kept trying to give him toys to play with. Kate, Jen and I kept a close watch over them, and we got all of the ingredients together, setting to making cookies the way it had always been done. Christmas was just simply our holiday.

xxxx

I was so worried about Sam and Dean when neither of them checked in when they said they were going to and Johnny was restless. It was like he _knew_ that his father and his uncle were in trouble, and I wished that there was something else that I could have done besides sitting and waiting there. What if they were in trouble? What if they weren't coming home?

"That's my phone." I said, handing Johnny over to Kate and picking my phone up off of the coffee table.

Jen and the girls had gone home after cookies and some dinner, Kate and I wringing our hands over the boys. We wanted word from them—we wanted to know that they were alive and that they were on their way home. Honestly, having my phone ring and be Dean's ringtone was a blessing, and with Johnny smiling up at his aunt, I had a feeling it was just the kind of phone call that Kate and I had been waiting for.

"Baby, are you okay?" I asked him, biting my lip waiting for an answer.

Dean chuckled a little. "We're a little nicked up, but Sammy and I are fine. We're actually almost there…"

"Oh thank God! Kate and I didn't even make the eggnog yet because she thought maybe Sam would want to if he decided against _not_ doing Christmas." I explained, letting my heartbeat slow a little and smiling. "We'll both be happy to see you."

"I'm going to be happy to see you two, Baby. How's Johnny?" Dean asked me.

I looked at Johnny and smiled. "He's definitely happier—that was my first clue that this was going to be a _happy_ phone call."

"Well I'll be home soon, I promise." Dean replied and I heard Sam in the background. "Sam says 'tell Kate I'll see her momentarily'."

"Will do." I told him, and then we hung up and I took Johnny back from Kate, glad he was in my arms and in a good mood.

Annie called to let us know that she was going to spend the night at Penn's, and that honestly didn't surprise or bother me. It was Johnny's first Christmas, but Annie had a life of her own, and she'd be around for Christmas Day, which was all that really mattered to me in all reality. Then when Sam and Dean came home, Sam came first, Dean off grabbing some things and Kate and Sam kissing each other all the way into the kitchen, where they made some eggnog. Dean came in soon after and I saw him a little cut up, smiling and watching him take his coat off, Johnny fixated on his father.

"You look terrible." I told him, laughing a little.

He smiled at me. "You beautiful—and our son looks strapping…he really did get _your_ genes."

"I'm glad you're home." I told him smiling, kissing him back as he kissed me and then handing Johnny over. "He's napped quite a bit today, but I think he'll go down for us. Also, Jen, Kate and I left a platter of cookies out, but you can't eat Santa's cookies, all right?"

"If I did, you will kill me." Dean replied, kissing Johnny's temple and then tickling his tummy, Johnny laughing and looking up at him happily.

I don't think I can even explain to you just how _hot_ Dean Winchester looked holding a baby, and I just ran my fingers through my hair and smiled. He smiled back and then looked up when Sam and Kate came in the room with eggnog and hot chocolate, and I laughed a bit.

"Here, uh...Try the eggnog." Sam said holding a glass out to Dean. "Let me know if it needs some more kick."

Dean tried it and made a face. "No, we're good."

"Yeah?" Sam asked him, chuckling a little as Kate told him that she told him so. "I'd have you try it, Lana, but—"

"—that's fine, Sammy, really. I never liked eggnog anyways…makes me gag." I replied with a smile.

Kate laughed as she nodded. "It's true. Even when we were little the stuff made her all pukey—she's not fun to be around when she's pukey."

"I concur." Dean replied, motioning to the tree that Jen, Kate and I had decorated weeks ago. "So uh…"

"Yeah," Sam said nodding, "let's do Christmas stuff or whatever."

I smiled and reached out for Johnny. "Yeah, let's do that."

Dean glanced at me and I nodded, going to grab the presents instead as he held his son, wanting to be around him. He didn't have that much time left, and I knew he wanted to spend as much time with Johnny as possible. Sometimes I woke up in the middle of the night only to go into the nursery and find Dean passed out in the rocking chair, Johnny sleeping in his crib. Then I'd have to cover him up with the blanket and go back to bed, wishing my husband was lying next to me, but knowing that he was just trying to be a great Dad until he couldn't that anymore.

"Alright, first thing's first—Merry Christmas, Sam." Dean said, giving him two presents as Kate settled down and put the presents in piles in front of each of us.

Kate smiled at Sam. "Let's just open things up and go around in a circle."

"That's a good plan." I replied, sipping my hot chocolate—I was the odd man out since Kate had some eggnog too. "Shouldn't we wait until tomorrow to open all of them?"

"Well of course, but we each get one on Christmas Eve—it's a tradition." Kate replied, pointing to Dean's gift to Sam. "Open up Dean's—you can't open mine until tomorrow."

Sam laughed at that and set to opening up Dean's gift, putting the other gifts of his under the tree for the next morning, and after we'd all opened one gift a piece, we sat down and put in a movie. We were all cuddling until Johnny got hungry, so I went up to the nursery and fed him as I sat in the rocking chair, Dean coming up and leaning on the doorframe. I looked up and smiled at him, glad to have him around, and glad to feel like I was collected…glad to feel like we were all safe.

"I love you." Dean told me softly. "I haven't said it the last few days, but I do."

I smiled a little more. "Baby, I know—just like I know that you don't like saying it all the time…I've been good about giving you space."

"He's sleepy." Dean explained, pointing to Johnny and I looked down to find him starting to drift on off to sleep.

"Yeah he is." I replied, stopping feeding him and going to burp him.

I didn't want him to fall asleep eating, and once he was burped, I sang to him a little and rocked him, Dean and I looking at him as I laid him in the crib. Dean stroked his hair and kissed my temple at the same time, me slipping my arm around his waist and smiling—I'd given Dean something I'd always wanted to give him. Ever since I'd fallen in love with him and gotten pregnant the first time, all I had wanted was to give Dean a child—all I'd ever wanted was to give Dean a family.

"We should get you some Ibuprofen and then get you to bed so Santa will come." Dean whispered, smiling against my head as I laughed softly, turning to face him and wrapping my arms around his neck.

I kissed him gently, whispering against his mouth, "I love you."

"You too." Dean said, kissing me and then leading me into our bedroom.

We both got ready for bed and then I snuggled into him, kissing his jaw and then propping my head up on my hand. He ran his nose along mine and cupped my face, kissing me tenderly and I just let him. Like most hunting trips, he had almost died today, and it was nice for him to know he had something to come back to—it helped to keep him going, and I liked knowing that I brought him that kind of happiness.

"You know…I won't be sore _forever_." I whispered to him, referring to our current arrangement of celibacy because of childbirth.

He chuckled and we made eye contact. "Well the ball's in your court there, Lanni—I didn't push out a little person."

"Trust me, I _know_ that." I replied, kissing him and then snuggling up against his warm body. "Goodnight, Dean—Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Lanni." Dean whispered, kissing my head.

xxxx

"Dean kind of went all out." Jen told me, reaching up and touching my new earrings from my husband at breakfast.

I smiled and nodded, Dean burping Johnny in the other room with Sam, Kate, Annie, Kevin and the girls. "Yeah, he kind of really did. I like the necklace Kev got you."

"He kind of went all out too." Jen said happily, tossing her hair to the side in a playful manner.

"How long did it take you to be…_not_ sore anymore?" I asked Jen, coughing a little and blushing.

Jen laughed and rolled her eyes. "What a talk for a Christmas morning."

"I know, I know, I just…how long?" I asked her again.

It wasn't that I was addicted to sex with Dean or that I was even really, _really_ horny, but my husband's time was counting down and I enjoyed that aspect of our relationship. I just couldn't please him or myself yet because I was still in pain from pushing Johnny out and I knew that Dean got that—in fact he was surprisingly supportive—but I wanted things to kind of go back to normal. Call it what you want, but I wanted to sleep with my husband.

"I'd give it a couple more weeks just to be on the safe side, but whenever _you _feel at ease, that's when you're ready to hop back on the horse so to speak. You were lucky and there was no tearing—Kaydence scratched me on the way out." Jen explained to me. "For me it took a little longer but Kevin and I still find time for each other."

I laughed and nodded. "After all, what are baby sitters for, right?"

"Baby sitters?" Dean asked as he came into the room, Johnny awake and playing with his necklace.

"When I'm feeling more in the mood, we have a slew of baby sitters to choose from to leave Johnny with so we can have a date night." I explained shrugging, returning the peck on my lips he placed.

He nodded and got some water form the sink. "As long as said date ends with consummating, I am _all for_ it."

I rolled my eyes as I laughed, Jen telling him he was something else and then heading out into the living room, me reaching out and taking Johnny from Dean smiling when he beamed at me. He didn't really have a favorite parent yet, but with all of the attention he got from both of us, he was always so excited to go to either of us, no matter who it was. One thing I was sure of—Jonathon Robert Samuel Winchester was going to be _incredibly _spoiled.

"Do you think he'll stay blonde?" I asked Dean, running my hand over Johnny's baby fluff and smiling. "I mean its possible—Aunt Debra's blonde and your mother was blonde and you have light brown hair, so I mean there was a 25% chance that our kid would be blonde. Plus, his hair doesn't seem to be getting any darker—where is his binkie?"

Dean chuckled and slid his fingers into my hair, gliding them through it. "You were meant to be a mother…why in the _world_ did you fall for _me_?"

"I fell for you because I was _supposed_ to fall for you." I replied with a soft shrug, smiling when Dean handed me Johnny's binkie, Johnny taking it almost immediately when I held it up to his mouth. "You're a father…"

"You've given me everything I've ever wanted—even though I never knew before just how much I _did_ want this." Dean admitted, kissing me softly and then kissing Johnny's head when he made a noise.

I smiled and kissed him swiftly. "You don't even know how _happy_ I am that _you're _happy, Dean…I love you."

"I love you too." Dean whispered, kissing me back.

I smiled and nodded, kissing him one last time and then taking Johnny back into the living room to play with some of his new toys. Even though I was still getting used to being a mother, I was pretty good so far, and when Johnny spit up, I changed him into his new onesie from Sam and then let Sam play with him for a little while. What were we all going to do when Dean was gone? How were we going to get him out of this? Could we?

"You okay, Lanni?" Kate asked me, wrapping her arm around me and pulling me close.

I looked at her and took a deep breath. "Yeah, I just…I feel like I've given up on him and that makes me a terrible person. I mean we still have a chance to get him out of this, right? Why am I just counting down his days because we've hit dead ends? Why has part of me already _accepted_ that I'm going to lose him? What kind of wife _am_ I?"

"You're _not_ a terrible person, Lanni." Kate told me, kissing my head. "You're trying to be ready for the worst should it happen—you're trying to be ready to be there for your son _without_ your husband if you have to…Lanni, you're doing everything that you can. This is Christmas—_enjoy_ it."

"She's right." Jen said, kissing my head and then smiling when Johnny smiled at her, binkie in his mouth. "Let's focus on the now and we'll deal with all of this in due time—we're all still researching and investigating leads."

I just nodded, agreeing with them, all of us looking up as Dean re-entered the room. We didn't know how much he had heard, but we knew one thing for certain: his permission or not, we were going to keep trying to find him a way out of his deal. Right then though, it was Christmas and the whole family was together and that was what mattered…family was all that mattered.

**Note: And there you have it! Sorry the chapter was short and I kind of skipped the whole "Supernatural Christmas" eppy, but there may be flashbacks. I just wanted to focus on Lana and Johnny and give you guys some fluff with a hint of angst. You guys glad Johnny is born? Next chapter is super important and will be longer, I promise. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	63. Embracing the Future

**AUTHOR'SNOTE:**

**Okay, so this is an important chapter for everyone.**

**It also has several different POVs.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Witches. I finally feel up to going out on a hunt, and I ended up agreeing to do a hunt about witches? Kate and I sat in the backseat with Johnny in between us in his car seat, the boys coming out of Paul and Janet Dutton's house, getting into the car, talking about the case. Johnny was sleeping because the car ride had put him to sleep, and Kate was researching on my laptop as I did some exercises—I still wasn't one with my dark half yet, and this "witch hunt" was making her a little antsy.

"This is Old World black magic, Dean. I mean, warts and all." Sam explained to his brother, both of them shutting their doors as they climbed in.

"I hate witches. They're always spewing their bodily fluids everywhere." Dean told Sam, Sam nodding in agreement.

"Pretty much." Sam said, Kate's head snapping up to look at him.

Dean kept nodding. "It's creepy. It's downright unsanitary!"

"Two witches, right here, taking this personally—that's offensive." Kate told them, giving them her warning smile.

"Sorry…we obviously didn't mean _you two_." Sam said, Kate then proceeding to point out that Lance and Jen were witches too.

Kate actually took the witch thing personally—I did too, but Kate was much better at having the spells on hand because she used them hunting. The two of us had grown up harnessing and knowing about our powers and though I had given them up for a while like Jen, Kate never had. Then again, this was Old World black magic—that meant the whole selling your soul to the devil deals…that meant demons and contracts.

"Lance is unsanitary." Dean told us, looking directly at me as he said it.

I held my hands up surrender. "I'm _not_ going to argue with you."

"Good." Dean replied, and then looked at Sam. "So…we're looking for some craggy old Blair bitch in the woods?"

"No, Dean—it could be anyone. These people sold their souls to get power and they're _human_…we just need to find a motive like a normal murder case." Kate explained, taking a deep breath. "So…we need to watch them."

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I really hated leaving Lana and Johnny in the motel room without me there to protect them. As glad as I was to be back out doing the one thing I knew I was good at, I hated that I was dragging my family into it. Why wasn't I strong enough to just stay put? Why was I such a masochist?

"Dean, stop worrying—Kate's with them." Sam told me, smiling a bit. "It came pretty easily, huh? Being a dad?"

I looked at him. "It came a lot easier than I thought. I'm doing the wrong thing here, aren't I? I mean this may be what I'm good at, but I have a family to think about."

"Lan was the one who forced us to come—you need to bring it up with your wife." Sam replied with a shrug. "That's the only advice I'm willing to give you here."

I was about to say something else when we noticed Paul collapsing by his car, choking. Sam and I hurried over to him and Sam found the Hex bag in the car, destroying it, Paul gasping for breath. He was worried about what was happening with him, and we still needed a motive and then we got a suspect—Paul had had an affair, and it seemed to us that the breaking off of that affair was motive enough for now.

It got me to thinking as well about the whole adultery business. Lana would leave me and I would never be able to live with myself. She'd done so much _for _me, and I couldn't bare to hurt her in _any _way. Honsetly it was moments like this where I realized just how deep with her I really was, and I was glad that I hadn't screwed this up anymore. I was already screwing it up in the worst way possible—I was dying—and she was standing by my side through all of it, no matter how sad about it and no matter how lonely she would be when I was gone…I wasn't going to screw our relationship up anymore, ever again.

"So this Amanda chick…" I told Sam.

Sam nodded at me. "I have an address—let's go."

I nodded in agreement and the two of us headed to Amanda's house, knocking first and then going on inside, guns raised. We needed answers and honestly the sooner we got this over with, the sooner I got Lana back to Kansas and safe where she belonged. She felt like this was a hunt that she needed to do to get the upper hand on her dark half, but I really didn't want her fighting…at _all_.

"That's a curve ball." I said when Sam and I walked into a room and saw Amanda lying there dead, me heading over and turning her forearm with my gun. "Three per wrist…vertical. She wasn't fooling around."

Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah, looks like she was working some heavy weight evil here."

"Yep!" I exclaimed as Sam looked at the witchcraft book, turning around to find myself face to face with a dead rabbit. "Ah! Freaking witches! Seriously, man! Come on! If Lanni was full on into this witchcraft thing, there would be _no way in Hell_ she and I would have procreated!"

"That's a big ol' lie." Sam said, laughing a little. "You overlooked her demon half when any other hunter would have taken her out then and there—when it comes to Lan, your whole world becomes a shade of grey and you know what? That's the way it _should _be."

I rolled my eyes, but on the inside I was a little touched. "Paul sure knows how to pick 'em. It's like Fatal Attraction all over again. Why's the rabbit always get screwed in the deal? Poor little guy."

Sam made a little face at the compassion in my voice for the rabbit, and then he made a different face. None of this was adding up completely, but we always had a theory even when we were faced with pieces that didn't quite add up.

"You know what I don't get, Dean? If she was so bent on revenge, why do this?" Sam asked me, motioning to her death.

I shrugged at him. "Well, she got Janet Dutton, thought she finished off Paul, decided to cap herself and make it a spurned lover's hat trick."

"Maybe." Sam told me, but he didn't seem too convinced about it.

"I mean, this doesn't exactly look like a TV room of a bright and stable person, you know?"

"No. But then…there's this." Sam told me, showing me a hex bag he had found underneath the table.

"Another hex bag? Come on. Looks like we got a hit, huh? A little witch-on-witch violence?" I asked Sam who shrugged as I pulled out my phone and made a call. "I'd like to report a dead body at 309 Mayfair Circle. My name? Yeah, sure, my name is…" I hung up instead and then looked at Sam. "Why are witches ganking each other?"

Sam shook his head. "I don't know, but I think maybe we got a coven on our hands—we need Kate's and Lan's expertise for this, Dean."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"A coven? Oh well that's fantastic." I said, closing my eyes and running my fingers through my hair. "It's probably something like a 'book club' or a 'poker night'—mine and Jen's moms' coven was a 'poker night'."

Dean rested his hands on my hips and kissed me as I stood there with my eyes closed. "I'm so glad you never sold your soul—I do wonder about how exactly you got your powers though without contracting yourself out to demons."

"Different witches have different abilities, Dean." I told him, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him again. "There's a white side to every black side and a grey area to every situation."

"I know, I know." Dean replied, pressing his lips to mine again. "I was just wondering out loud."

Kate cleared her throat. "The love is cute, but tone it down and let me have my cousin to figure this out, please."

I laughed and kissed Dean swiftly one more time, going over to Kate and looking at the laptop with her. Johnny was sleeping in his basinet, Sam was on his own laptop, and Dean started making some phone calls. He and Sam were going to go and question the neighbors in the morning, and Kate and I just wanted them prepared. It was really bad enough that we were dealing with old school witches—Kate and I wanted to be the ones to handle them.

So after a little more research, we all got into bed and slept because we wanted to be ready for the next day, me waking up to Johnny doing his little cry. It was really more of a whine, and so I fed him and burped him and rocked him back to sleep, only sleeping for a couple more hours before he was awake again and wanting some attention. Everyone else woke up a little while later and got ready to go, Dean making me promise that I'd stay in the motel.

"Just…be careful." I told him, kissing him gently and then watching as he kissed Johnny's head and nodded at me.

They left me alone because I insisted on Kate going with them just in case, and I sat on the motel bed, kissing Johnny's head as he played with my shirt. He looked up at me and I smiled down at him, wondering if I was making the right decision here when I had tried _so hard_ to make sure she never took over again. I just felt like it was my only choice and I wanted to make sure that Johnny was going to be all right with it.

"I'm sorry, Johnny-Bear." I whispered to him, kissing his forehead.

I set him down on the bed and then I took a deep breath as he looked up at me, closing my eyes and swallowing. It was only a moment and out came Dark Lana, opening her eyes and smiling down at Johnny, who cocked his head to one side. He knew that I was different but he also gave me this look that I understood—that I was hoping for. Johnny _trusted_ Dark Lana…he _trusted_ my other half, and that meant that he knew that she would _never_ hurt him.

"Mommy wants us to uncover the sinister plot around here via witchcraft, Buddy." She told him, picking him up and getting the baby carrier.

She put it on and then put Johnny in the carrier, looking at him as he hung there snugly against her stomach. I had gone out of my way to make sure that I had a carrier for my front and not my back, because I liked having Johnny in my line of vision at all times. Then she headed out of the motel room and straight to a little clearing around the motel with a duffle, ready to do a spell. She didn't want to go to the houses to alert Sam and Dean about what she was doing, and neither did I…we had a _lot_ to figure out.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

I'm not going to lie to you—I knew who the witches were already based on their behavior. Elizabeth seemed like the only one we could trust, and I knew that from her freaked out demeanor, she was just as nervous about the murders as the boys and I were. I looked around as Sam and Dean talked to Elizabeth about Amanda Burns' death, and I suddenly felt like there was something else here.

Lana and I were really good at figuring out this kind of thing, but she would need to use witchcraft to help her just as I did. I made a little ball of fire as I turned around a corner of Renee Van Allen's house, letting it extinguish but knowing I was onto something. Honestly I was kind of worried about what was going on. This was some hardcore stuff, and I didn't know what to do.

"Where have you been?" Sam asked me as I made my way back over to him and Dean, both of them done talking to Elizabeth, Tammi and Renee finally.

I shook my head and shrugged. "Checking around Renee's house—we need to get back to Lanni and see what she has found out. Something _big_ is going down here…I can feel it."

"All right, I'll go to Lanni, you guys look for a few more clues, all right?" Dean told us, and headed for the Impala. "Call me with anymore news."

"Promise." I assured him, and then I took Sam's hand and he lifted my hand to his lips, kissing it softly as we walked down the sidewalk. "How are you holding up, Sammy?"

Sam took a deep breath and he shrugged, both of us heading for the library and thinking things over. On top of the hunt, we were still trying to figure out a way to get Dean out of his ridiculous deal because his time was _still_ counting down. We were actually both kind of worried about what was going on with Lana—she was getting into hunting again without even so much as a backwards glance. What I didn't get, was that she had been so against it and now suddenly it helped her to figure out who she was? I wasn't buying it.

"I'm…I'm feeling weird." Sam admitted to me. "I mean I feel like this hunt is like one big set-up…and I actually really wish that we were closing to saving Dean from his doom."

I nodded and then stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, looking at him. "We're going to figure _all_ of this out, I promise."

"That means a lot, even though you can't be positive of that." Sam told me, stopping and stroking my hair as we stood there. "Man…what did I do to deserve you?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm sorry you got stuck with me." I replied, smiling as Sam rolled his eyes and leaned down to kiss me. "You're still…you sure this is something that you want, Sammy?"

Sam smiled at me and stroked my cheek, running his thumbs along my face and taking a deep breath. He kissed my forehead and I knew he had a speech ready for me and I was actually content for once to just listen to it. I wanted so badly to just have some time with Sam because the closer we got, the deeper in love I fell with him. How could you _not_ fall in love with Sam Winchester though?

"You are the best thing that has ever happened to me." Sam explained to me, sifting his fingers through my ponytail. "God, I don't even know what I would do without you, Kate. I mean I was never really into Lana in a serious manner—we've made mistakes and I admit we had some chemistry in the beginning but it was all a lie and it's not important anymore. Then you showed up all cheeky and perfect and I just…I can't imagine what my life would be like without you."

I smiled and leaned up, kissing him when he leaned down the rest of the way and wrapped his arms around me. He was so thankful for me, but there was no way that he was as thankful for me as I was for him. There was definitely something about Sam Winchester that made it so that no matter what he did, he really couldn't lose you no matter if you wanted to hate him or not.

"We should probably just get back to the motel and see what Lana has dug up." I whispered, kissing him softly and pulling away.

He smiled at me and nodded, kissing me swiftly. "Sounds like a plan."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Dean was pretty upset when Dark Lana showed up with Johnny, but it wasn't because he noticed the switch right away—it was because we'd left the motel room. By the time we had gotten back to the motel room, Kate and Sam came in and right away Kate picked up that something was askew. She looked at me hard and at Johnny in the carrier and then she sighed loudly and went to take him into her arms.

"Okay…Lana, you should take back over now." Kate explained, Dean and Sam looking at us and widening their eyes.

Dark Lana smiled and then closed her eyes letting me take back over. "How did you know?"

"Johnny wasn't snuggling you and he wasn't smiling—see? He's smiling now." Kate replied, handing Johnny over when he reached his hands out automatically for me.

"That's my boy." I told her, kissing his forehead and then looking at them. "We're dealing with some really _messed_ up humans, guys. There is some dark magic going on around here and demons are part of it."

Kate nodded as I said that, Sam and Dean running their hands down their faces, Sam rustling his fingers through his hair. They weren't very happy with that information and I knew that Dean was in fact upset with me, but right then what we really needed was to do was to finish this hunt. We needed to figure out how the demons factored into all of this, and what it was that they wanted…besides souls of course.

"I need to take a drive." Dean said suddenly, heading for the door.

I took a deep breath and just nodded—I got that he was mad at me. It was kind of obvious that I had _let_ Dark Lana be in control. He still didn't trust her no matter how much she helped me out, and honestly I couldn't blame him even though I wished that he would give her a chance. Until I was one with her, there was no way that he was going to want to have _anything_ to do with her, and it was kind of ruining things.

Sam kissed Kate and then headed out too, leaving the two of us alone to look at each other and shake our heads. She understood how important this was for me, and I wanted so badly to have the _boys_ understand too. Honestly Sam was trying harder than Dean was, and I felt like that was because if we needed her to save Dean…she was still around. As far as _Dean_ was confused, Dark Lana deserved to be extinguished.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, but…do you feel like things get harder and harder the closer it gets?" Kate asked me slowly.

I smiled sadly and nodded as Johnny played with my hair. "Yeah…yeah I do."

"We're going to get him out of this, Lanni." Kate told me, but we both just nodded.

Neither of us were sure if that was really possible or not at this point because we were out of ideas. So we just perked up as best we could and played with Johnny, putting him to bed and then looking up as Dam and Dean came into the motel room both rather upset with each other. I waved my arms around because I didn't want Johnny to wake up, but Sam and Dean were in the middle of an argument, and that was just how it was going to be no matter what, apparently.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Dean asked Sam angrily.

Sam gave him a look. "What? What the hell was _I_ thinking? You shot at her when we can still use her!"

"Ruby." Kate said with a sigh, me stroking Johnny's hair as he seemed to sleep through the argument.

"She's a demon, Sam, period. Alright? They want us dead. We want them dead." Dean explained to Sam.

Sam scoffed at the statement. "Oh, that's funny. I remember that demon chick in Ohio…Casey…you didn't want her dead. As I recall, our wife and your son are also kind of _part_ demon, so you're kind of stepping all over the gray area!"

"Yeah, well, she wasn't stringing me along like a fish on a hook!" Dean protested.

"Oh my God, both of you—shut-up!" I exclaimed angrily.

They both looked at me, fire in their eyes and I knew it wasn't actually directed at me, but it _still_ made me even more irritated with the situation. I was on Ruby's side as long as she was going to still help us with Dean's deal and she had fixed the Colt for us. All I needed to know was why she was here because it obviously meant something.

"She showed up and told us to leave." Sam told me.

I nodded at him. "Okay, well then maybe we should. Kate and I know that something here is dangerous—no, it's not Ruby." I shot at Dean, giving him a look. "We can't just ignore what she has to say because she's a demon, all right? She fixed the Colt for us and we kind of owe her."

"Dean, if she wants us dead, all she has to do is stop saving our lives. Look, we have to start looking at the big picture, Dean. Start thinking in strategies and…and move ahead. It's not so simple. We're not…we're not just hunting anymore. We're at war." Sam explained to him, Dean washing his face off with water.

"Are you feeling okay?" Dean asked him.

"Why are you always asking me that?" Sam replied angrily.

Kate shot Dean a look. "Does it occur to you that maybe Sam is the only one around here that's actually thinking straight?"

"Oh really?" Dean asked her, looking back to Sam when Kate nodded. "You seem less and less worried about offing people, you know? It used to eat you up inside."

"And what has that gotten me?" Sam asked dismally.

Dean shook his head, shrugging. "Nothing, but it's just what you're supposed to do, okay? We're supposed to drive in the freaking car and freaking argue about this stuff! You go on about the sanctity of life and all that crap with Lanni and then Kate and I get all gung-hoe about the killing."

Dean paused and stuck his hand on his stomach, looking kind of queasy and I started to feel like something was wrong. He had been so into the argument and then now suddenly he was feeling off and Dark Lana was stirring. She'd been so good about being suppressed until I had her come out for little things, but something was up—even Johnny's face contorted a little as he slept, like he was having a nightmare.

"Wait, so you're mad because I'm starting to agree with you?" Sam asked Dean skeptically.

"No, I'm not mad! I'm…I'm…I'm worried." Dean admitted, sitting down on our bed shaking his head. "Sam, I'm worried because you're not acting like yourself."

Sam nodded slowly, Kate rubbing his shoulders. "Yeah, you're right. I'm not. I don't have a choice."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Dean asked him.

"Look, Dean, you're leaving, right?" Sam answered, Dean grimacing and touching his stomach again. "And I got to stay here, in this crap hole of a world…it's just going to be me, Kate, Lan and Johnny. So, the way I see it, if I'm gonna make it, if I'm gonna fight this war after you're gone, then I got to change."

Dean swallowed as I did. "Change into what?"

"Into you. I got to be more like you." Sam said and then Dean doubled over in pain and I was kneeling in front of him in a moment. "What's going on with you?"

Dean shook his head quickly as I felt his stomach. "I don't know—something's wrong…a bunch of knives…son of a bitch."

"It's got to be the coven." I said, Kate starting to rip things apart, Sam joining in the search as I did, Johnny waking up and starting to cry. "I'm gonna kill the bitches."

I went over to try and get Johnny to stop crying, Sam heading out when he and Kate couldn't find a hex bag, Dean doubling over on the floor coughing up blood. When Johnny was pretty calm, I set him back in his basinet and knelt next to Dean, starting an incantation as Kate hurried to go with Sam. If the coven was behind it she was going to show them some _real _witchcraft and I was all right with that.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

When I got to the house Sam was in, the girls all seemed freaked out by his accusations that they were killing Dean, but they were. One of them was in charge and evil and I was pretty certain I knew _exactly_ which one it was—Tammi. I was good at picking out demons and they were all in a very _bad_ position here…when Lana got here, Dark Lana just might kill them all for putting her and Johnny in danger.

"Look, if you know about me, then you know about this gun. You're killing my brother." Sam threatened them, me making a fireball in my hand. "Now let him go. Get away from the altar."

Renee looked at a loss for words. "What?"

"Now!" Sam ordered, and the three of them moved away from the altar…have I ever mentioned how _hot_ Sam Winchester is pissed off and commanding?

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Dean stopped coughing up the blood but he was still cringing, me looking up when Ruby came barging into the room. Johnny woke up again and I really didn't think I could handle all of this—he wasn't even a light sleeper…he was just aware of demons and magic and for the first time since he was born, Johnny made a force field. Johnny didn't trust Ruby and if he didn't trust her…should I?

"You want to kill me? Get in line, bitch." Dean told her, me rocking Johnny as Ruby picked him up and pushed him back on the bed.

I made a face as she kept his mouth forced open and poured liquid into it. "Please be careful—Dean, hold still."

"Stop…" Ruby told him, looking at him hard as he seemed to stop tensing, "calling me bitch."

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

"You need to stop this spell and stop it now." I explained to them.

Elizabeth blinked as she looked at my hand. "Is that…are you holding fire?"

"Your time is counting down and counting down fast, Sweetheart." I told her shaking my head. "This is _real_ witchcraft and I'm not afraid to make you ashes on the floor now _stop the spell_."

"Five seconds to stop the spell or you die." Sam added, arming the Colt.

Elizabeth looked freaked. "What?"

"Four." Sam explained to her.

"No, please. Please don't kill us." Elizabeth pleaded.

I looked directly at Tammi. "Stop the spell or you're the first to go."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"Next time you point that gun at me, I'm not gonna just disappear, understand?" Ruby asked as she gave him his gun back.

I nodded and rubbed Johnny's back, the force field down. "Thank you for what you did, Ruby—I appreciate it."

"You…saved my life." Dean told Ruby softly.

"Don't mention it." Ruby replied, looking at him.

Dean nodded, not willing to _fully_ admit he was wrong. "What was that stuff? God, it was ass. It tasted like ass."

"It's called witchcraft, short bus." She told him, heading for the door as I laughed a little.

"You're the short bus. Short bus…" Dean said lamely as she left. "Witchcraft?"

I nodded at him and reached out to stroke his cheek as I held Johnny to me, him falling back to sleep as Dean thought things over for a moment. He had to go and take out the witches, but I knew I needed to be there, so as he left, I gathered up Johnny and we made eye contact. Then I just nodded and put him in his carrier, heading to go and take care of the witches that thought they could just try and off my husband.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

"I don't even know what he's talking about." Tammi told us, her voice shaking. "What are you even talking about?"

I laughed at her. "Oh you are one fucking good actress, but I can see right through your damn bullshit—yeah…the fireball _is_ getting bigger. You're not getting anything out of this—not anything news worthy anyway…you're just getting their souls…and they just handed them over like a bunch of idiots."

"I can't…I'm not…I don't…" Tammi said, but she gave up and her eyes went black. "You really are something, Kate."

"Oh, I've been told—now let my brother-in-law go and maybe I won't turn you into a pile of ashes." I told her with a smile on my face.

She laughed a little, which pissed me off. "What's wrong? Couldn't find my hex bag? Sorry, sweetheart, but your brother-in-law's lungs should be on the floor by now."

Sam pulled the trigger but Tammi stopped it with telekinesis, the other two freaking out about what was going down. They didn't know just how in over their heads they really were, but they were definitely _not_ enjoying being in the middle of this tousle. Then Tammi caught Sam and I off guard and pinned us to the wall, my fireball going out.

"You're both a _lot _of trouble." She told us.

Elizabeth looked at her. "Tammi, what's wrong with your eyes?"

"Tammi, what are you doing?" Renee asked her.

"Renee, shut your painted hole." Tammi replied quickly, obviously bored now.

"What? I…I will…you can't…Not in my house, Tammi Benton." Renee managed to fet out, but with mere wave, she snapped Renee's neck.

I shook my head, starting to get free. "Remind me not to be _your _friend."

"Stop struggling, Kate." Tammi said in a sing-song voice.

"You can just try and _make _me." I retorted, making another fireball. "You came in here and starting wearing Tammi like a suit and then you got them to sell their souls to you…you killed them all because you didn't really need them—you have their souls as collateral. You had them praying to demons and you know what, Elizabeth? You're not really that much better…I mean you guys are doing all these rituals and blindly following her lead for what? Prizes? Money? You can't _play_ with all of this!"

Tammi laughed in my face as Elizabeth took it all in, Tammi explaining to her that she had brought it upon herself. I was sad that it had to end this way, but they were stupid enough to get themselves into this mess in the first place. What had they thought they were doing? What, it was just all fun and games until someone died? Now things got deep and it was time to back right on out?

"You know, Kate…me and my friends have been looking for your boyfriend here." Tammi taunted, me narrowing my eyes at her.

Sam nodded at her. "Why? Oh, right, because I'm supposed to lead some piss-poor demon army."

"No, not at all. You're not our messiah. We don't believe in you." Tammi explained, looking at Sam. "But there's a new leader rising in the West—a real leader. That's the horse to bet on, Sam—the one who's gonna tear this world apart. Thing is, this demon, it doesn't like you very much. It doesn't want the competition." Tammi said, lifting him up the wall. "Nothing personal. It's a P.R. thing. So, bye-bye."

"Fuck you!" I told her, shooting my fireball and nodding as she disintegrated it, slightly impressed by her. "Don't you touch him again, or I'm going to hit you with more power."

Just then, Dean came bursting into the room, Tammi sending him to the other side of the room. He found himself pinned to the wall and I took a deep breath and sighed, knowing that Lana was on her way and we needed her. All of her exercises and all of her hidden power made her the one we needed and then Ruby came in and it was obvious that her and the demon wearing Tammi knew each other—well that was just fucking great.

"Wait," Ruby said as she crossed the threshold, "please. I just…came to talk."

Tammi cocked her head to one side. "You made it out of the gate. Impressive. It was a bitch of a fight, wasn't it?"

"Doors out of Hell only open for so long." Ruby admitted with a nod.

"What do you want, Ruby?" Tammi asked her.

"I've been lost without you. Take me back. That's why I led the Winchesters here." Ruby explained, Dean murmuring to Sam about how he told him so. "They're for you…as a gift. Let me serve you again. I've wanted it. I've wanted you for so long."

Tammi laughed at her as Dean seemed peaked by the slightly lesbian tone the conversation now held. "You were one of my best…but then again you always were a lying whore."

Tammi went for Ruby and the two began to fight, Ruby having pulled out the demon knife and then in Lana came, moving her hands, her eyes yellow. She was even herself right then and as she moved her hands, she pinned Tammi and Ruby to the wall in front of her, me, Sam and Dean feeling like we could suddenly move again. She'd done it…Lana had finally become whole…but how?

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

It was almost like everything had just clicked—I suddenly realized that by denying who I was, even if it was just occasionally, I was putting everyone I loved at risk. So I had dug deep within myself and Dark Lana was happy for once…and she dissipated. She had always been part of me and I had to accept that completely and give in and I had. Now there was all this power coursing through me and I didn't know what to do with it…but I was getting rid of Tammi for once and for all.

"Look at you…you think you're all big and macho because you have some souls?" I asked her, laughing a little and catching Elizabeth scattering some pins on the altar to take out Tammi.

Tammi smiled at me. "Well, well, well—if it isn't Azazel's spawn. Look at you…all grown up and finally using your potential. We've waited for this day for a _long_ time. This day was supposed to come—even when Ruby was human and sold her soul to me to learn the craft we knew Azazel would produce an heir."

"Ruby…I'm going to dispose of your old master whether you like it or not, so close your mouth." I told her as she opened it to say something, and then Tammi started to try and exorcise Ruby, be closing my fist to make her stop as she began to spit out blood and pins because of Elizabeth, Tammi clenching her fist too to stop Elizabeth's heart. "Son of a bitch! For killing her too, you're dead…Hell would be a present."

Dean went at Tammi with Ruby's knife, Sam picking up the Colt as Ruby wiped the blood off of her mouth from her spar with Tammi. Ruby turned to us to tell us that we should leave and she would clean up the mess and Kate ushered us all out, Dean keeping his distance. I had brought Johnny with me and it had been dangerous, but he and I would have made a force field…if we had needed it.

The thing that scared me the most was that we _didn't_ need it and we _knew_ that. There was a long way to go until we would be _completely_ ready, but we were definitely in tune. Now that I was in tune and controlling my own self, I knew how to teach my son when he got to the point where he felt like he had to battle _his_ darker side. He was _much _less demon than me…but it was still in his _blood_ and that made _all_ the difference.

"You saved our asses back there." Kate whispered to me, taking Johnny and smiling at him. "God, you're powerful."

I nodded at her. "Yeah…everything just changed."

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I was really scared about what I had seen when the showdown had taken place. All my life I had hunted the Yellow-eyed son of a bitch that had killed my mother, and then I'd fallen in love with his daughter and we had a son. Seeing Lana embrace her heritage—seeing her as one—I was scared. She could take care of herself and she could take care of our son…but all the demons _wanted_ her this way…and some of them even spoke about _Johnny_.

She had put Johnny to bed and let me head out by myself, and so I had gone to the vending machine first. The idea of a snack had been welcomed but then I decided I wasn't hungry and then the lights began to flicker. It was just my luck and when I turned around I saw Ruby walking towards me and I nodded, walking out to meet her as well.

"So, the devil may care after all." I told her nodding. "Is that what I'm supposed to believe?"

Ruby took a breath in of the night air. "I don't believe in the devil."

"Wacky night." I replied, nodding again. "So, let me get this straight. You were human once. You died, you went to hell, and you became a…"

"Yeah." She told me.

"How long ago?" I asked her, really wanting to know.

She kept her arms crossed across her chest. "Back when the plague was big."

"So, all of them, every damn demon, they were all human once?" I asked her.

At first I wasn't believing a word that came out of her mouth, but how could I ignore any of this? There were so many facts pointing to that, and I knew that if I was going to Hell and there was a chance that could happen to me…I couldn't think about that. I was going to Hell and I _knew_ I was going but this was just one more thing to plague my thoughts—it was just one more thing that I was going to worry about as my time counted down.

"Everyone I've ever met." Ruby told me.

I nodded a little. "Well, they sure don't act like it."

"Most of them have forgotten what it means…or even that they were. That's what happens when you go to Hell, Dean. That's what Hell is…forgetting what you are." Ruby explained to me.

"Class of philosophy from a demon." I scoffed at her. "I'll pass, thanks."

"It's not philosophy. It's not a metaphor. There's a real fire in the pit, agonies you can't even imagine." Ruby told me, getting a little more in my face.

"No, I saw Hell Raiser. I get the gist." I explained nodding at her.

Ruby smiled a little and nodded. "Actually, they got that pretty close…except for all the custom leather. The answer is 'yes', by the way."

I looked at her with a funny look on my face because I hadn't even asked her a question and yet I felt like she knew. She knew that I had sold my soul and she had Kate, Lana and Sam convinced she could save me…and she had _been_ there. Ruby had crawled out of Hell and now she was here and she knew what it was going to be like when I got there.

"Sorry?" I asked her.

She nodded slowly. "Yes, the same thing will happen to you. It might take centuries, but sooner or later, Hell will burn away your humanity. Every hell-bound soul, everyone, turns into something else. Turns you into us, so, yeah…yeah, you can count on it."

"There's no way of saving me from the pit, is there?" I asked her after a pause.

"No." She answered truthfully, and though I hadn't expected it, my heart sank.

I nodded slowly. "Why'd you tell Sam that you could?"

"So he would talk to me. You Winchesters can be pretty bigoted, and I needed something to help him get past the…" She trailed off and nodded.

"The demon thing?" I asked her and we nodded at each other. "That's pretty hard to get past."

"Look at you…trying to be all stoic. My God, it's heartbreaking." She told me.

I was actually starting to be sick and tired of her crap—she didn't know me and she sure as _Hell_ couldn't _read_ me. She didn't know a damn thing about me and though she knew about Hell and she had given me something else to think about, I didn't like her tone. I didn't care if everyone else trusted her…I sure as _Hell_ didn't.

"Why are you telling me all this?" I asked her.

She looked at me. "I need your help."

"Help with what?" I asked again, worried about what she would want from me.

"With Sam. The way you stuck that demon tonight, it was pretty tough. Sam's almost there, but not quite. You need to help me get him ready…for life without you. Lana won't help him because even though she's embraced what she really is this isn't the life she wants and when you're gone, she's going to raise Johnny and she's going to protect him from the demons that want to strip his flesh from his bone because the kid has _powers_…and Kate? Kate's more like you than you give her credit for and Sam can't afford to be coddled when she could get herself killed eventually and leave him on his own. So you need to help him…to fight this war on his own." She explained to me, and turned around, walking away.

"Ruby," I said and she stopped and turned back to me, "why do you want us to win?"

She smiled a little. "Isn't it obvious? I'm not like them. I don't know why. I…I wish I was, but I'm not. I remember what it's like."

"What what's like?" I asked her.

"Being human." She told me.

I nodded and looked down at the ground, looking up to see that she had vanished, leaving me to think things through. When I turned around to head back in I saw Lana standing there and she had that look on her face—she'd heard the whole conversation and I was _certain_ that Ruby had _wanted_ her to hear it, which is why she hadn't even given me an inkling that Lana was standing there listening to our every word.

"Everything is different but…I don't want you to go to Hell, Dean. I don't want you to have to endure that, and I don't want you to get your humanity burned away." She explained, tears spilling down her cheeks and I was to her in an instant, wrapping my arms around her. "I don't want to be alone."

I just kissed the top of her head and resisted the tears coming to my eyes, stroking her hair and closing my eyes as she ran her hands along my back. Then she looked up at me and I kissed her tenderly, her pouring herself into me as she always did and I knew something—she had embraced her inner witch and her inner demon, but she wasn't different. No matter what she did, she was always going to be _my_ Lana.

**Note: I hope that was a cute enough ending to all of that angst! I really wanted to make sure to have a smidge of Kate/Sam in there, and you'll get more of them soon. Also, there was a **_**lot**_** of foreshadowing this chapter, so I hope you guys are ready for what's coming next! Plus, Lana/Dean fluff will come soon, just so you guys know—they have some serious romance coming to them. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	64. Baby, I'm Yours

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter has a little foreshadowing and defining Lana/Dean moment.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!!**

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I told Lana what Ruby had said and I explained to her that I didn't want Sam or Kate to know—I didn't want this to affect Sam the way I figured it would. Lana wasn't happy about keeping the secrets, but I was her husband and she was there to back me up, so suddenly the two of us were done listening to Ruby…at least I hoped so. Honestly I knew how much me staying alive meant to Lana, Kate and Sam, but they hadn't found anything and I was still worried about Sam dying because we tampered with things. Sam was alive and Sam deserved to be alive…how could I mess with that?

"They've been gone for a bit." Lana whispered, running her thumb along my jaw and then kissing my lips gently.

The last few days had been pretty slow and simple, but Sam had been in a funk and while Kate and Lana were too, it wasn't as prominent with them. Lana was trying to make sure that she was there for me whether she agreed with my decisions or not, and Kate was more worried about Sam slipping into depression than she was worried about me—she fighting the hardest now to get me out of my deal and was currently out with Sam.

I stroked Lana's hair softly, Johnny glancing at us from the basinet. "Still sore?"

"A little." She laughed, kissing me again and wrapping her arms around me. "I promise you'll be the _first_ to know when I'm not. You know, though…I can service you in other ways…if you wanna…"

"Shouldn't we…you know…check on Sam and Kate?" I asked her, slipping my fingers under her shirt and smiling a little when she shook her head—I had _really_ wanted _that_ answer.

"I think," She began as unbuttoned my jeans, "we could get away with taking this into the bathroom just for a little bit…Johnny will be fine."

It suddenly dawned on me that as soon as the talk promised me that I was going to get laid by my wife, I had _completely_ forgotten that my son was right next to us. He was watching us—he could _see_ that his father was already turned on by his mother and he didn't know what that meant. Honestly it didn't take Lana much to get me in the mood…she didn't even have to do anything special. The day I realized that all that it took was just her being her, I was already too far gone to let her go.

For a long time I couldn't even admit to her how I felt, and now I couldn't imagine being without her. She was my life…she was my everything and I hated that even though I knew she meant everything to me, I was still putting her through all of this pain. Sadly enough, it was _those_ thoughts that turned me off. It was _those_ thoughts that made me realize that I had to get up and go see Kate and Sam—even though Lana was stroking me in all the right places.

"I need to check on Sam." I managed out, kissing her swiftly and then pulling away.

She nodded and sat up on the bed, leaning on her elbows and watching me as I buttoned my jeans back up and then she sat up completely and picked Johnny up. Honestly I wished we had time to just spend together, but I needed to see how Sam was holding up—whether Kate had it under control or not. So I kissed Lana gently before I kissed the top of Johnny's head and headed out of the motel.

I knew that Sam would have headed to a local bar seeing the look on his face earlier. All that happened these days was Sam looking forlorn at how my time was counting down and he couldn't stop it. Lana had talked my ear off about how she wanted me to make sure that Sam didn't do anything stupid—she didn't _want_ Sam to become anymore like me, and I knew that Kate didn't want him to become like me either…I wasn't sure I did.

"Maybe we should go somewhere to take our minds off of things." Kate told Sam when I entered the bar, running her fingers through his hair.

Sam leaned his head on her shoulder and sighed. "I just…I don't know what to do."

"It's 2:00 in the afternoon and you're drinking whiskey?" I asked Sam as I made it to the bar on the other side of him, a little surprised. "What's going on with you?"

"I tried, Dean." Sam answered, close to tears as he looked at his glass of whiskey, Kate still running her fingers through his hair.

I swallowed and nodded. "To do what?"

"To save you." Sam replied.

I nodded again and looked at the bartender. "Can I get a whiskey? Double, neat."

Sam shot me a look. "I'm serious, Dean."

Kate excused herself to move farther down the bar at the tone in Sam's voice and ordered herself a refill of her own drink. I looked at Sam and I knew he was hurting, but I didn't want to care and share—I didn't want Sam to blame himself. He wouldn't even be trying to talk to me about all of this if he hadn't been under the influence.

"No, you're drunk." I informed him.

"I mean, where you're going…what you're gonna become. I can't stop it. I'm starting to think maybe even Ruby can't stop it." Sam told me. "But, really, the thing is, no one can save you."

I nodded slowly. "What I've been telling you."

"No, that's not what I mean. I mean, no one can save you because you don't _want_ to be saved. I mean, how can you care so little about yourself? How can you do this to Johnny?" Sam asked me and I felt my heart sinking…I felt guilt set in even more than it had set in before. "What's wrong with you?"

I opened my mouth to say something but my phone rang so I answered it—and Bobby was in trouble.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I freaked out a little bit when I heard that Bobby was in a coma in the hospital. The boys were checking out his motel room with Kate while Johnny and I spent time in Bobby's hospital room, looking after him as he slept. He was like my father and I knew that Johnny felt a kinship to him as well and I just wished there was something I could do for him…perhaps try to find him on another plane.

The problem with that, was that I was alone with Johnny and I couldn't just go to another plane to try and find Bobby and wake him up. I finally knew how to do a more complete version of the spell I'd used when Dean was in a coma and I couldn't use it—I couldn't leave Johnny out here on his own to fend for himself…even _if _Johnny was showing that he knew _when _to use magic these days.

"I really wish that you would wake up." I whispered to Bobby, stroking his hand as Johnny sat on my lap and sucked on his binkie, looking at Bobby with those wide, hazel eyes of his. "When the boys get back, I'm going to right this."

Johnny reached out and clapped his hands on his knees, me smiling a little and then shifting when my phone rang. I reached into my pocket and pulled the phone out, answering it because it was Kate and I was sure that she'd have some news. Besides, I knew that Dean and Sam were both pretty flustered, and it was pretty likely that the one keeping me in the loop was going to be Kate.

"So what's going on?" I asked her.

Kate took a deep breath. "There was this Dr. Walter Gregg who was a university neurologist. Says he died in his sleep, but Bobby was looking into his death so its pretty obvious something else is going on here—Dean's on his way to talk to Dr. Gregg's lab assistant and he'll call you soon, promise. 'Silene Capensis' mean anything to you?"

"It means we're definitely dealing with something supernatural. I think it's a plant. I'll look some things up when someone gets here to watch Johnny for me." I explained to her and then I hung up and focused on Johnny while watching Bobby at the same time.

I hated seeing him lying there helpless, but I tried to focus mostly on Johnny until Dean came in. I smiled up at him and he explained that Kate and Sam were doing some more research, and I handed Johnny over to Dean, who looked rather happy to get to hold his son. Honestly, there was nothing that made me happier than to see Dean smile while he was holding Johnny—he was an _amazing_ father and he wasn't even going to get the chance to teach Johnny how to work on a car.

"So this uh…'Silene Capensis'? It's also known as 'African Dream Root'. It's been used by Shaman and Medicine Men for centuries." I explained to him.

Sam chuckled as he came into the room. "I see I'm not the only one who found the dream-walking theory through research. If you believe the legends, that's _exactly _what we're looking at. I mean, entering another person's dreams, poking around in their heads."

"I take it we believe the legends." Dean said nodding.

"I definitely do—this dream root is serious mojo though. You take enough of it then with enough practice…" I told him, Sam cutting in.

"You can become a regular Freddy Krueger—you can control anything. You could turn bad dreams good. You could turn good dreams bad." Sam explained, he and I smiling at each other.

Kate giggled. "Our significant others are so _sexy_ when they spew off all this knowledge, aren't they?"

Dean smiled at me as Sam and I laughed and Johnny made a noise like he agreed too, which made us all laugh. For just a moment there was some light in the darkness, but soon we all looked at Bobby and it all came crashing back to us—we were definitely on a hunt here. This was just one more hunt I was going to be left out of, and I didn't like that…I didn't like that one little bit because I was finally whole…because I _finally_ had powers enough to make a difference.

"So, how do we find our homicidal little sandman?" Dean asked aloud.

I took a deep breath. "You go inside his head and you help him to defeat whomever it is that's keeping him in this coma."

"What?" Sam asked me.

"Okay, I normally side with you, but come on…walking around inside Bobby's head? What if there's something in there that he doesn't want us to see? This is a _total_ invasion of his privacy." Kate told me and we all looked at her, her shrugging. "Okay, sometimes I can be courteous of others, all right?"

I smiled at her and nodded. "I just can't lose him, all right? Going into his head is our only plan…and it's the only plan I can think of that will give us Bobby back in one piece—so I say we risk it."

"All right but we've got one problem, Lan." Sam told me, both of us on the same wavelength about _saving_ people that we _could_ save. "We're fresh out of African dream root. Unless you know someone who can score some…"

"That fucking whore!" Kate exclaimed, me reaching over and covering Johnny's ears. "Sorry, I just…Bela makes me wanna cut her."

I made a face. "You're right—'fucking whore' was the _right_ terminology…damn-it! I feel dirty just _thinking_ about asking her for a favor."

"Then how about we just threaten her instead?" Kate suggested with a shrug as she pulled out her phone.

Sam shook his head, a slight smile on his face, me taking my hands off of Johnny's ears and then leaning down and kissing Bobby's forehead. Then we all headed to the motel and did some more research, Sam and Johnny falling asleep, Kate heading out to get some food as I laid on the motel bed and rested—I didn't _want_ to sleep. We had called Bela and she had told us that she wasn't going to help us. Dean had called—Sam wanted Kate and Bela far away from each other and I got that.

Kate had always had a habit of sort of flying off the handle—but it was only because she was _incredibly_ protective. The second that Bela had shot Sam in the shoulder, she had put _herself_ on Kate's list of people to kill and I didn't mind her being there. Sure it wasn't our place to just take people out, but if Bela died I wouldn't be sorry about it…I just wasn't going to _help_ it happen faster than it should. Since Kate was in love with Sam and definitely ready to kill Bela if Bela stepped out of line again, it was best to keep them away from each other.

"Finding anything?" I asked Dean softly, running my fingers along the sheets.

Dean smiled over at me. "Not yet…you all lonely over there? I mean you look all lovely and cute over there."

"I'm a little lonely…" I replied winking at him a little and then glancing over at Johnny, still sleeping as Sam was.

Dean chuckled and came over to me, lying on the bed and kissing me softly, stroking my hair. He nuzzled my nose and then held me to him, both of us holding onto each other as he kissed my forehead. I ran my thumb along his side through his shirt and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and thinking things over.

"Bobby's going to be all right—I promise. I'm sorry you hit a dead end with that spell." Dean whispered to me.

I shook my head. "I know…I just want him to be okay. He's like my dad, you know? I mean I had Marcus, but still…he's what we have and we have to save him."

"Wait a minute…is that…" Dean asked, trailing off as we both looked at Sam as he started making some noises.

Sam sounded like he was pretty _pleased_ in his dreamland and it made me laugh loudly as Dean chuckled too. We'd never really heard Sam all excited like that, but it was nice to know his dream world was at least a nice place to be. I wanted so badly to just be done with this and have Bobby awake, and I wanted Dean out of his deal, but for now we all just had to take the happiness that we _could_ have.

"Sam?" Dean asked him, going over to his chair since our mood was a little killed. "Sam, wake up!"

Sam jolted a little as I laughed, a bright smile on his face, some drool on his chin. He had _definitely_ been pleased in his dream and I knew that the grins on mine and Dean's perverted faces were definitely not helping. He began to wipe his chin off like he was embarrassed of what he had dreamt and I just smiled and shook my head as Dean prodded him about it.

"Dude, you were out…and making some serious happy noises. Who were you dreaming about?" Dean asked Sam as I sat up and leaned back on my elbows.

"What?" Sam asked him, and then shook his head. "No one…nothing."

Dean chuckled a little. "Come on. You can tell me. Angelina Jolie?"

"No." Sam told him, and I laughed a little because he obviously didn't like her like that at all—props to him for that.

"Brad Pitt?" Dean asked, pulling a serious face.

"No!" Sam exclaimed, looking at him. "No…dude, it doesn't matter."

I smiled and got up, sitting on the end of the bed and dangling my feet off of it, feeling pretty good even though I was worried. I felt a presence though as Dean and Sam began to banter with each other and though it was a bittersweet moment of realization, I knew it was for the best. Whatever we could do we _had_ to do…so when there was a knock on the door, I just went over to it and opened it up wide.

"Hey, Bela…hand over the dream root and leave." I told her, stepping away from the door and letting her in.

Dean and Sam looked at her, Dean speaking up. "I remember you turning me down when I asked you for help."

"Well, I'm just full of surprises." Bela replied with a shrug.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah—are you handing over the root or not?" I asked her, shutting the door and turning to her as she looked over at Johnny.

She looked back at me. "I see you're bringing the little person along."

"That's not the only thing that's different…surely your spirits have talked to you." I told her, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Of course they have." Bela replied with a nod. "You're living up to what they want."

Dean cut in clearing his throat. "I want to know what the strings are before you attach 'em."

I just nodded, Bela and I breaking off the eye contact because we knew it wasn't time to focus on this. No matter what she knew that I wanted to know, it wasn't the time to discuss all of this while Bobby was still in a coma, waiting to wake up. If we could save him we had to try and Bela _had_ brought us the African dream root…I needed to be nicer to her and I knew it.

"You said this was for Bobby singer, right? Well, I'm doing it for him, not you." Bela said as he nodded.

I made a face. "Bobby? Why?"

"He saved my life once…in Flagstaff. I screwed up, and he saved me, okay? Are you satisfied?" Bela asked me.

"I'd be more satisfied if he'd let you die, but sure." Kate said, having come into the room as Bela explained herself, shutting the door behind her. "Now put your coat on and get out of _this_ motel room because 2:00am or not, you're _not_ staying her and you're _not_ going into Bobby's head…why are you still standing there?"

I shrugged and looked at Bela as she and Kate glared each other down. "Sorry…Kate has spoken and around here, her word is gold."

Bela stormed out and I took a deep breath, all of us exchanging glances. Then Kate and I got some things together and we all took a little nap, wanting to go into Bobby's head completely refreshed. Unfortunately, I wasn't going to be allowed to go, so I headed to the hospital that morning with Johnny instead. When he woke up he would want someone to be there with him, and I didn't see why it couldn't be me.

"Just wake up, Bobby." I whispered to him, and after a little while Bobby's eyes opened and I smiled at him. "Hey, Bobby."

xxxx

Turned out that Bobby had been trapped in his head, being chased by his wife—he had become a hunter because his wife had been possessed and he had killed her. He hadn't known before what he knew now, and he didn't want to talk about it either—he just wanted to know what we knew. Besides, he was trying not to be all fawny over Johnny and he was failing—Johnny liked him a lot.

"So he was in there playing in my mind?" Bobby asked, looking at Dean as Johnny started playing with Bobby's beard—he'd wanted to be held and Bobby was the only one who had kept him from crying.

Kate stuck her hand out and rocked it side to side. "Not exactly _playing_…more like trying to kill us all. What do you know about him?"

"His name's Jeremy Frost. Full-on genius. 160 I.Q. Which is saying something, considering his dad took a baseball bat to his head. Here's father of the year." Sam said, showing him the picture out of his research from. "He died before Jeremy was 10. Injury gave him Charcot-Wilbrand. He hasn't dreamt since."

"Till he started dosing the dream drug." Dean said nodding, me smiling at Bobby as Bobby smiled at Johnny momentarily.

Kate spoke up nodding as well. "Okay so he's a dick…he had to have your DNA to get into your head at the first place and then he rooted around in there like a bitch…how'd he get your DNA? I mean I know we pulled out a couple strands of hair to drink—_ew_ by the way."

"Before I knew it was him, he offered me a beer." Bobby explained, running his thumb along Johnny's sides as Johnny sat there playing with his beard. "I drank it—dumbest friggin' thing."

"Oh, I don't know." Dean said, smiling a little and coughing. "It wasn't _that_ dumb."

I turned to him. "Great…now he has _your _DNA too, Baby. You can't fall asleep."

"Yay! That means we get to coffee up!" Kate exclaimed, rubbing her hands together.

I laughed a little and took Johnny from Bobby reluctantly—Bobby looked like he really needed and enjoyed the little bit of normalcy…the little taste of family. Then we headed out after Bobby was discharged and we all tried to stay awake…except for me. It was much too hard because I couldn't stay caffeinated—I had to breastfeed. Besides, I was cranky enough as it was lately without being sleep-deprived with an infant. Worst part was that Kate was with Bobby and Bela to keep Bela under control—she _really_ didn't trust Bela—and I was kind of worried about Dean being behind the wheel. Mostly I miss Johnny—because he could make force fields I'd left him with Kate and Bobby because since I was now in control, next dream walk that happened if it did, I was _going_ to be part of.

"I mean, this Jeremy guy's not a friggin' ghost. Where the hell could he be?" Dean asked Sam and me angrily.

Sam looked at him. "Dean, you sure you don't want me to drive? You…you seem a little…caffeinated."

"Well, thanks for the news flash, Edison!" Dean exclaimed and then suddenly his phone rang and he answered it. "Jeez! Tell me you got something!"

I sighed loudly as he talked to Bobby, wishing that Dean wasn't so on edge but I understood at the same time. This was hard for him and if he fell asleep something bad could potentially happen to him and we couldn't have that. We were all looking for Jeremy and yet it seemed to be of no avail. There was definitely something up and I decided that maybe a dream walk was what we needed…maybe we needed to face Jeremy on his turf and take him out.

"Great! Well, I'm just gonna go blow my brains out now!" Dean exclaimed, hanging up and banging on the wheel—Bobby had nothing.

I took a deep breath. "Pull over."

"What?" Sam asked me, looking at me.

"Just _pull over_." I told him.

Dean nodded and he pulled over, parking the car and Sam whirled on me as Dean leaned back and rested his head. He needed to sleep and he was on edge and I just needed this to happen, so I ran my fingers through his hair and then pulled a couple strands out, Dean looking at me. I just shrugged and handed Sam a strand, looking at Dean as he shook his head—he was scared. He was scared and I wanted to know _why _he didn't want Sam or I to go in his head. I mean invasion of privacy or not, I was his wife and this was the only way to take Jeremy out.

"You're not going in my head." Dean told me.

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah I am—Sam and I _both _are. This way it's three against one, and we know we'll find him because he _will _come to us. Trust us, Dean."

"I don't want you digging around in my head." Dean said softly.

"Too bad." I whispered, reaching out and stroking his cheek.

Dean just took a breath and after a little while the three of us fell asleep and then we woke up and we were still in the Impala. I was kind of worried about how it felt, and I knew we were in Dean's head so I got out and I took a deep breath, looking around. Sam and Dean followed me and we started to walk, me stopping when I saw me on a blanket with four kids, looking at Dean with tears in my eyes.

There were two kids around six—a brunette little girl a blonde little boy—then there was a toddler and a newborn, both girls. The Lana on the blanket looked up from wiping mud off of the little boy and she smiled at him, Dean looking a little nostalgic and the tears came and I couldn't stop them. This must have been what he'd seen when he'd been trapped by the Djinn in the other world…which meant the little brunette girl was Casey—she was our little girl…kind of.

"There you are—Johnny fell in a puddle while he and Casey were running around." Lana said, and I bit my lip.

I took a breath as Casey smiled up at him. "So uh…that's Casey?"

"I wanna show you the frog I found, Daddy!" Casey told him, Lana standing up.

"Come on, Baby." She said, and then suddenly she vanished.

I wiped the tears away as Dean avoided looking at Sam and me, telling us to stop looking at him. He knew the looks we had on our faces and we just nodded, Sam apologizing, and then we saw Jeremy and we took off running after him through the words. Suddenly though, Dean and I were walking down a hallway and Sam was gone…Jeremy had separated us, but left me with Dean? Why? He must not have understood who I was or what I could do.

"Jeremy?" Dean asked, opening up the doors at the end of the hall.

The man in the room turned to us and it was Dean…there were two Dean's. I swallowed as his double greeted us, and I could see the smirk he had on his face. He was a cheeky son of a bitch like Dean used to be but there was something _completely _ominous about him and I was a little worried. I was really hoping that this wasn't going to end as badly as I was pretty sure it was going to.

"Well, aren't you a handsome son of a gun?" Dean asked him.

The double didn't skip a beat. "We need to talk."

"I get it. I get it. I'm my own worst nightmare. Is that it? Huh? Like the Superman III junkyard scene. A little mano y mano with myself?" Dean asked the double.

"Joke all you want, smartass…but you can't lie to me. I know the truth. I know how dead you are inside…how worthless you feel. I know how you look into a mirror…and hate what you see." He explained and I just closed my eyes for a moment.

Dean smirked a bit. "Sorry, pal. It's not gonna work. You're not real."

"Sure I am. I'm you." The double explained.

"I don't think so. 'Cause, see, this is my siesta…_not_ yours. All I got to do is snap my fingers, and you go bye-bye." Dean explained, and then he snapped his fingers.

I looked at the double as he didn't disappear and I took a deep breath as Dean snapped his fingers again. There was definitely no way that this was a _good _sign, and Dean was going to have to have it out with himself and I knew he didn't want me there to hear it when he looked at me. He looked back at his double, who was smirking at him and I took a deep breath again.

"I'm not going anywhere. Neither are you." The double explained, and Dean and I turned when the doors we came in through closed. "Like I said…we need to talk."

I opened my mouth even though I knew it wasn't my place. "You need to talk, huh? Talk about what? Is that how we wake up? Facing the music, so to speak?"

"Something like that." The double said, looking to Dean. "I mean, you're going to Hell, and you won't lift a finger to stop it. Talk about low self-esteem. Talk about being selfish. You have a wife. You have a son—you have things to live for but you're tired and you just want to give up. Then, again, I guess it's not much of a life worth saving, now, is it? You're not much of anything."

"Wake up, Dean." Dean told himself. "Come on. Wake up."

I looked directly at the double. "You obviously don't know yourself very well, do you? You're not just some obedient son of a bitch who doesn't deserve to be happy. You _save_ people even when they don't want you to. You're courageous and you're loyal and you're an _amazing_ person."

"You're as mindless and obedient as an attack dog." The double told Dean.

I shook my head and looked at my Dean. "Dean, Baby, that's not true."

"No? What are the things that you want? What are the things that you dream? I mean, your car…that's Dad's. Your favorite leather jacket…Dad's. Your music…Dad's. Do you even have an original thought? No. No—all there is, is 'watch out for Sammy. Look after your little brother, boy'. You can still hear your Dad's voice in your head, can't you? Clear as a bell." The double told him.

"Just shut up." Dean said to the double, getting angry.

"I mean, think about it. All he ever did was train you…boss you around, but Sam…Sam, he doted on. Sam, he loved." The double explained.

Dean clenched his fists. "I mean it. I'm getting angry."

I didn't like seeing Dean this way and I didn't know how to stop it, but I knew that this was something Dean didn't want me to hear. He kept glancing at me out of the corner of his eye and I couldn't say anything—I was simply stuck there trying to figure out how to keep Dean calm. He had things that he could call his own—he had me…he had Johnny…he wasn't just some stringed puppet.

"Dad knew who you really were…a good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument. Your own father didn't care whether you lived or died. Why should you?" The double asked him.

"You son of a bitch!" Dean yelled and I jumped as he violently pushed the double up against the wall right when I was going to protest and tell the double to shove it up his ass. "My father was an obsessed bastard! All that crap he dumped on me about protecting Sam—that was his crap! _He's_ the one who couldn't protect his family!" Dean hit the double hard and I put my hand over my mouth. "_He's_ the one who let Mom die! Who wasn't there for Sam! _I_ always was! It wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me! And I don't deserve to go to Hell!"

Dean shot hid double as the tears splashed out of my eyes onto my cheeks and he took deep breaths, ignoring me a moment. I bit my lip and kept my breathing under control, both of us snapping our attention to the double as he shot up, his eyes black, blood splattered on his cheeks. This was what Dean was afraid of—he was afraid that he was going to go to Hell and become a demon and he was _right_…he _didn't_ deserve that.

"You can't escape me, Dean. You're gonna die. And this…this is what you're gonna become." The double told him in a slightly demonic voice.

Suddenly we were waking up in the Impala and Dean and I looked at Sam, Sam explaining to us that he had brought Jeremy's dad into the dream and that Jeremy had died. That was how the dream had stopped—killing Jeremy had stopped it all. We were glad to be out and Dean didn't want to talk, so he simply drove us to Bobby's, Kate handing Johnny over and I hugged him to me, noting that Bela wasn't there, but that pleased Kate, I'm sure.

"So, you did a little dream-weaving of your own in there, huh?" Bobby asked Sam when Sam explained the story again.

Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah, uh, I just sort of concentrated, and it happened, you know?"

"Didn't have anything to do with…you know, your psychic stuff?" Bobby asked him slowly.

"No. I mean, I don't think so." Sam admitted to him, Kate running her hand along his back, smiling at him—glad he was safe and sound.

Bobby nodded at him. "Good…good."

"Hey, you guys seen Bela?" Dean asked us. "She's not in her room. She's not answering her phone."

"Check yourselves." Kate said suddenly. "Bitch is a thief and now suddenly she's gone? Something happened and we need to know so we can get a jump on her."

"Kate's right." Bobby said nodding. "You can't trust her."

I raised my eyebrows. "But didn't you save her life at Flagstaff?"

"That thing in Flagstaff was an amulet. I gave her a good deal. That's all." Bobby explained.

I looked at Dean and he went straight to the vault we had been keeping our stuff in and it was empty—the Colt was gone. Dean was really pissed off and we all packed really quickly, heading out to the Impala because Dean and Kate were out for blood. This was the last time that Bela was going to cross us if Dean and Kate had their way, and I didn't mind that in the slightest—bitch took our last means to get a demon to listen to us and let Dean out of his contract to Hell.

"Hey, Sam, I was wondering…when you were in my head, what did you see?" Dean asked as he got into the car, me tossing my duffle down at the bottom of the car.

Sam looked at him. "Uh, just Jeremy. He kept me separated from you. Easier to beat my brains out that way, I guess. What about you? You never said."

"Nothing. I was looking for you the whole time. Sam…" Dean began, looking at Sam as Sam looked back at him. "I've been doing some thinking…and…well, the thing is...I don't want to die. I don't want to go to Hell."

I smiled because I really hadn't heard him actually _want_ us to help him and I didn't know what to say, and yet I did. He was my _husband_ and I _loved_ him, and I knew that no matter what, I needed to save him and now that he wanted to be saved, maybe we had more options…just maybe.

"Alright, yeah. We'll find a way to save you." Sam told him, giving him a sad smile.

Dean nodded slowly. "Okay, good."

"I need to talk to Dean." I said as I put Johnny in his car seat, and Kate nodded, putting Johnny's binkie up to his mouth and smiling when he took it, Sam glancing at me.

"What? Yeah." Dean said, obviously still thinking about what we had seen.

I took him by the hand and led shut my car door, watching as he shut his and then leaned on the car. He looked at the ground as I put my hands on either side of him, pinning him to the car and wishing he would look me in the eye but he wouldn't. He _hated_ that I had seen so much of what was going on with him, but it was because of that, that I had to tell him what was on my mind.

"You have _me_." I told him softly but keeping my tone firm. "So what if Metallicar was John's first? So what if the leather jacket is a hand-me-down? Your father loved you he just didn't know how to deal with his heart break and he went about it the wrong way. He shouldn't have put you and Sam through the lives that he put you through, and he shouldn't have put what he told you about Sam on your shoulders, but you have something to live for, Dean. Johnny is _yours_. _I_ am _yours_. I want you to _know_ that…_always_."

Dean looked up into my eyes and I cupped his face, the tears coming to his eyes. "I didn't want you to see that—to _hear_ all of that. What if we _can't_ stop it? What if that _is_ what I'm going to become? I'm so sorry that I've been so selfish, Lanni."

"Baby, I know…but haven't you always told me that I'm _yours_? I'm _your_ Lana? This works _both_ ways…isn't that worth living for?" I asked him, a tear sliding down my cheek.

Dean kissed me softly and as I responded to it he nodded, holding me close and stroking my hair, deepening the kiss. He wanted me to know he had heard what I had said and I smiled a little because I just wanted him to know that he _deserved_ this…that he was _perfect_ the way he was and I wanted him as is. That was all I needed him to know—he was mine…and I was his…now we just had to get him out of his contract.

**Note: I love this chapter a LOT and the next chapter will have more comedy than sadness, but still **_**some**_** sadness cause the next chapter for this story is…THE GHOSTFACERS!! So next chapter in a few hours cause I want us to be to "Season Four" by Friday night, which means two more chapters. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	65. Ghostfacers and Breaking Celibacy

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay, so the end of this chapter is what all of you have been waiting for, I'm sure, haha—I know at least **_**some**_** of you have been waiting for it…here is your smut warning because this time it's a little more descriptive than most times but not like **_**too**_** descriptive at the same time.**

**This is one of my favorite chapters so far, and I hope you guys enjoy it!**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"Maybe I'm exhausted! Does it occur to you that I'm _exhausted_?!" I asked Dean angrily, bouncing Johnny and trying to calm him down.

It was the first time Johnny had ever been sick and I was at my wit's end with all of it—I just couldn't understand why Dean was pushing me on this. We'd been having heart-to-hearts, we'd been on the same page, but the second I bring up that I think we should contact Ruby to see if she knew any way to potentially get in touch with whatever demon held Dean's contract, he was upset. He was off with Kate and Sam trying to get out of his deal and then he finds a hunt…he finds a hunt that I _can't_ let him go on, on his own.

"That's why you can't come!" Dean exclaimed, running his hand down his face as Johnny cried.

I kissed the top of Johnny's head. "Kate is dealing with her father being in the hospital and you and Sam can't do this alone! This is reckless! You have almost two months left and you can't die on me! Damn-it you _can't_!"

"Stop yelling! You're upsetting Johnny." Dean said, sitting on the bed and taking a deep breath.

We were in Kansas and Jen had offered to watch Johnny while I went with Sam and Dean on the hunt. It would be my first time away from him overnight, and I was worried, but the breast milk was all ready and I just couldn't let my husband die. I had to be there to protect him—_especially_ since he and Sam were so _set_ on doing this hunt. How could he just expect me to stay behind?

"I'm going with you—that's that." I told him softly.

He sighed and looked at me. "I hate how stubborn you are."

"You _love_ how stubborn I am." I retorted with a soft smile.

"Normally, but right now I'm upset. Come on, Lanni…you can't leave Johnny." Dean said, standing up and walking over to me, Johnny calming down since Dean and I were no longer raising our voices. "Lanni what if something happens? We can't keep taking the risk that both of us are going to get hurt…Johnny needs you."

"So do you." I replied simply, kissing Johnny's head again and nodding as Dean nodded and sighed too.

He was tired of trying to put his foot down and I was glad about that—he understood how much he meant to me. Dean had a habit of starting fights the closer to his death that we got since we were still at a dead end, but I seemed to be able to win them these days. Anything to be close to him…anything for us to feel like a family with Johnny for just a little while longer.

xxxx

**Third Person**

Dressed up and sitting in armchairs, Harry Spangler and Ed Zeddmore, the creators of talk to a camera. They're ready to explain to the world about ghosts and they're ready to finally have people see that they're not crazy. It has taken them a while to get here and they're ready…they've _been _ready.

"Hello. I am Harry Spangler." Harry told the camera.

Ed nodded slowly. "And I am Ed Zeddmore. Now, if you've received this tape, you must be some sort of bigwig network executive. Well, today is your lucky day, Mister."

"Because the unsolicited pilot you are about to watch is the bold, new future of 'reality TV'." Harry explained, using his fingers to quote 'reality TV'.

"Hmm." Ed agreed with him. "We know you've had it hard during the crippling writers' strike."

Harry shook his head. "Lazy fat cats."

"Who needs writers when you got guys like us?" Ed asked as Harry filtered the lights. "Our team faced horrible horrors to bring you the footage that will change your world forever." He added, holding a skull in his hands. "So strap in for the scariest hour in the history of television."

"In the history of your life." Harry told the camera.

"Strap in for…" Ed began and then together they said, "Ghostfacers."

Suddenly opening credits rolled for "Ghostfacers". Ed, Ed, Harry, Spruce, Maggie, Corbett and…Sam, Dean and Lana. Then Ed and Harry got out of their car and began to walk in slow motion, Ed speaking over it as a voiceover.

"You know, it can get kind of hard balancing our daytime careers with our nighttime missions." Ed explained.

"Yeah, but Ed and I pretty much call the shots at the Kinko's where we work so we can usually pretty much get off by 6:00…every night?" Harry asked him.

"Yeah, 6:00. It used to be just, you know, you and I taking on the cases." Ed explained, both he and Harry sitting at a picnic table outside, talking to the camera. "Just Harry and me."

Harry nodded. "Two lone wolves."

"And two lone wolves need, uh…other wolves." Ed explained to the camera.

xx

**Phase 1: The Homework**

Ed and Harry arrived at the Ghostfacers' headquarters and it was time to meet the members of the teams. First up was Alan J. Corbett, the intern and the cook for the team.

"I first saw Ed putting up flyers down at the...the outlet mall in Scogan. So I…I read one, and I thought to myself, 'Huh. Where do ghosts come from?' And now here I am." Corbett explained with a smile.

Then there's Maggie, who hits Harry when he annoys her and immediately exclaims, "Ed, your sister's abusing staff."

"That's adopted sister, thank you very much." Ed explained looking at his laptop.

Maggie gave him a look and then looked at the camera, looking for some support about what Ed had just said about her. She didn't get any though, and instead it flips to her talking to the camera about how Ed had been obsessed with the supernatural since he was a kid and that he and Harry met at a computer camp. Then Spruce talked to the camera and explained his different origins before the team members began to talk about their future mission.

"Okay, people. Let's cut the chatter and get on a mission. Okay?" Ed told them all. "Morton house…one of our big fish. Alright, we all know the legend. Every four years, supposedly, this becomes the most haunted place in America."

"The leap year ghost, some call it. The ghost returns at midnight just as February 29th begins." Harry explained while Corbett distributed coffees to the team members.

Maggie looked at them all. "And no one has ever stayed the night, right?"

"Yeah, well, every testimony that we dug up, every eyewitness has cut and run well before midnight." Harry told her.

"Well, that's all about to change." Ed replied sipping his coffee.

"Absolutely true, Ed. Absolutely true." Harry agreed with a smile.

Ed smiled too, only about his coffee. "Mmm. That's good."

"It's French vanilla." Corbett explained to him. "Cause the other day, you said how much you liked it, so…"

Ed nodded at him. "Thank you."

Corbett smiled too. "You are welcome."

Then the camera cuts to Harry sitting in the car and he speaks to the camera. "I like Corbett. I do. Hum. Shows up early, does his job, lot of good hustle out." Harry explained and then Corbett knocked on the window and waved to the camera before leaving. "I think he's got the hots for Ed, and that could spell trouble for the whole team."

The camera cuts to Corbett, who says, "Ed's kind of the more rugged, with that really golden…beautiful sort of beard. Definitely nice. Uh, and Harry's nice."

Suddenly the camera is back in front of the board where all the pictures of the Morton house are displayed, Ed explaining that it's the 29th on Friday and they have a mission to go on. Unfortunately, the garage door opens and upsets all of their research, making Ed and Harry frustrated.

xx

**Phase 2: Infiltration**

"Stay low. Follow formation." Ed said in a low voice as the Ghostfacers went up to the wire netting surrounding the Morton property. "Okay, as suspected. A lot of people have tried to break into the Morton house. The local authorities have just gotten fed up."

Harry nodded. "Looks like the cops have got this place pretty well fenced off."

"Wait." Maggie intervened when Ed took out a bolt-cutter. "Didn't you guys get, like, a permit or something?"

"A permit?" Harry asked her. "That's a good idea for next time."

Then Spruce warned them that a car was coming so they went into hiding and turned their flashlights off so as not to be seen. It turns out that it's Dean, Sam and Lana. Sam inspects the outside of the house as Lana closes her laptop on her lap in the back, and then the Impala moved away. The way being clear, the Ghostfacers cut the chain and entered the property compound, going into the house and starting to explore it.

"Alright, everybody. Ghostfacers, let's line up. Everybody." Harry explained.

"We'll set up camp right here." Ed explained with a nod. "This is command center one."

"We'll call this the eagle's nest." Harry said nodding in agreement and the Ghostfacers set up their base camp and everything they needed to shoot their show and then they tested all the cameras.

"Yo, Corbett. Dude. You're Robocop." Spruce pointed out seeing the young man's get-up.

Corbett smiled a little. "R-Robocop? You think I…you think I look like Robocop?"

"Everybody, bring it in. Bring it in." Ed told them. "We've all been here before. Standard walk-through. Team one, west. Team two, east. Spin the tires, light the fires."

"Ghostfacers on three." Harry explained to them.

Ed nodded too. "1, 2, 3…"

"Ghostfacers!" They all exclaimed in unison raising their hands.

xx

**Phase 3: Face Time!**

Team 1 was made up of Ed and Corbett, who go to explore the first floor together. Everyone was split up and Ed _desperately _wanted to be able to prove to the world that he and Harry knew what they were talking about. He had been working for this his whole life and he wanted to be able to prove that he wasn't insane.

"Hello! I'm speaking to the restless spirits of the Morton house! Hello!" Corbett exclaimed while Harry was doing some readings, and they opened a door but there was nothing behind it so they continued their exploration. "Is there an entity or entities here with us now? Can you give us a sign of your presence?"

Ed noticed Corbett was out of breath and said, "You got to breathe, Buddy."

"I can't breathe." Corbett replied and suddenly they heard a noise in another room.

"Corbett, night vision." Ed told him. "Calm down, buddy. Breathe, alright? Calm the whirlwinds of your mind."

Meanwhile on the second floor is the other team, consisting of Spruce, Maggie and Harry. Harry and Spruce check for EMF and explain it to their audience.

"We're doing a basic EMF, EVP, temp-flux sweep." Harry explained, looking at his EMF radar. "Looks like we've got all of our ducks in a row here."

Suddenly, the image on the camera started jamming without Spruce understanding why, but it didn't last long. They continued their progression in the hallway and then the EMF seemed to indicate something, and Harry tried to kick it open, but without any success.

"Turn the knob." Spruce advised him and the door wasn't locked.

"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!" Harry exclaimed running out.

"It's just a rat, Dude." Spruce pointed out taking a look inside the room.

"What…was that an apparition? Was that a spectral…was that a .4? What do we got, 'cause the EMP was just off the—" Harry asked as he came back to the room but Spruce picked up the rat and threw it at him which made him scream again.

Meanwhile on the first floor, Ed and Corbett tried to recover from the shock, the noise they heard having probably been made by a branch on the window. Corbett couldn't help but freak out because he was only there for Ed—he really didn't care to find any ghosts. The only reason he was even willing to try, was because it was what Ed wanted, and Corbett wanted him to be happy.

"Oh, no!" Corbett howled when a flashlight was suddenly trained on them.

"Freeze! Police officers! Don't move!" Dean told them.

Lana took a deep breath. "Oh my God, it's Ed!"

"What…wow, I know you." Ed said, smiling a little.

"It's nice to see you again, Ed." Lana replied, holding out her hand.

"Holy !$!" Sam exclaimed, his curse words censored in the pilot.

Lana was actually happy to see them even though she knew that they needed to get out because they didn't know what they were dealing with. As nice as it was to have a reunion, Lana didn't want to see Ed or Harry or any of their new associates to become casualties to the ghosts. It was bad enough that Sam and Dean had wanted to come to the house in the first place.

"What?" Dean asked.

Lana turned to him. "Mordechai? The tulpa? The hellhounds?"

"!$ me." Dean exclaimed after lighting up Ed's face with his flashlight.

"Well we're not cops, _we're _the professionals." Lana explained, smiling at Corbett and then looking back at Ed. "So where's Harry?"

Ed shrugged a little. "He's around here somewhere."

"So you have a bigger team around here then?" Lana asked him.

"Listen, you and Rambo need to get your girlfriends and get out of here." Dean told him instead, Lana smacking him in the side.

Ed gave him a look. "Alright…listen here, chisel chest, okay? We were here first. We've already set up base camp. We beat you."

"They were here first." Dean repeated to Sam and then pinned Ed to the wall in a swift movement. "Ed…"

"Yeah?" Ed asked, a little scared of Dean.

"Where's your partner?" Dean asked him.

On the second floor, the EMF was spiking which was making Maggie and Harry freak out a little bit. The pressure was down 11 degrees, and Spruce was still annoyed that something was messing with the chip. They were close to having a spectral encounter, but Spruce wasn't so sure—he just thought that something was going wrong with his equipment until he saw a man appear.

"Guys. Guys. Guys!" Spruce called to them to warn them about the ghost's presence.

"Look Buddy, I'm sorry. That's it. I'm telling you, that's all the money I…" The ghost said but suddenly the ghost is shot and it disappears.

At the same time, Lana, Sam and Dean were talking to Ed and Corbett about how it was leap year and how they shouldn't be there. Lana tried to point out that the people who had spent the night had died and though at first they didn't believe them, Ed had a soft spot for Lana and she appreciated it. When Sam pulled out the evidence, it was the proof that Ed needed, but at the same time he was skeptical of the three because of their dealings in the past.

"Missing-persons reports going back almost a half century. Uh…John Graham stayed on a dare…gone. Julie Wilkerson…gone." Sam read before handing the papers to Ed. "There are tons more. All of them came to just stay the night through, always on a leap year. The only body they ever found was the last owner, Freeman Daggett."

Ed nodded slowly. "These look legit."

"They _are_ legit." Sam told him, Lana nodding as Ed looked to her. "Look, Ed, we ain't got much time here, buddy. Starting at midnight, your friends are going to die."

"Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Guys! Guys! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! We got one! Corbett! Corbett, we saw one! We saw one! It was a full apparition! It was like a class four. It was a spectral illumination! It…" Maggie, Spruce and Harry all exclaimed, trailing off when they saw Lana, Dean and Sam, Lana waving at Harry a little.

"Hey, aren't those the !$ from Texas?" Harry asked, looking at Sam and Dean.

Ed nodded at him. "Yes."

"Alright, let's have this reunion across the street, guys. Come on, come on. We'll get you ice cream…our treat. What do you say? Let's go." Dean told them, but they were too busy trying to show off the scene.

It definitely a death echo and Lana was starting to feel like they were in over their heads because she knew it wasn't _just_ death echoes. She knew that they were dealing with a spirit, but there was definitely something bigger going on here. Lana took Dean's hand and pulled him over to the side, Sam following, Dean looking at his wife and waiting for her to speak.

"That was a death echo." Lana explained to him and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Yeah, but what's it doing here? Did anybody get shot here?" Dean asked her.

Sam shook his head. "No, not that I could find."

"What's a death echo?" Spruce asked, overhearing their conversation.

"Echoes are ghosts that are trapped in a loop." Lana explained to him, putting her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. "They keep replaying how they died over and over and over again, usually in the place where they were ganked. It's about as dangerous as a scary movie—so that ghost? That's _not_ the ghost we should all be worried about…we should get out of here and soon."

Dean nodded quickly. "Yes, I agree."

Dean, Sam and Lana tried to urge the Ghostfacers to leave the Morton house, but they didn't want to leave their material behind and even offered to make the three recurring guest stars in the show so that they would let them stay. Suddenly Ed interrupted them and asked where Corbett was. Lana took a deep breath and explained that he was still upstairs moving around, Maggie cocking her head to one side because she didn't know how Lana knew that but then Corbett screamed.

"Oh, God, what's happened?" Ed asked back at base camp. "Oh, God. He's gone. He just disappeared."

"Okay. Let's just go through all the angles." Harry told Maggie. "Let's go through all the cameras we have."

Lana, Sam and Dean were apart from the group, Sam and Lana both upset because even though Dean had made it seem like Sam had wanted this, he too thought it was a bad idea. Sam was getting on his case and Dean didn't want to deal with it, but at the same time, he didn't want Lana to get involved in the conversation. She was stubborn—and she would even though she should have been focusing on getting _out_ of the Morton House.

"Well, it's 12:04, Dean. You good? You happy?" Sam asked Dean, then he turned to Lana. "Are _you_ happy? I mean you're _both_ away from Johnny now."

Dean just sighed. "Yeah, I am happy."

"'Let's go hunt the Morton house', you said. 'It's our Grand Canyon'." Sam told him. "'Dean you're not going without me. It's all going to be fine'."

"Sam, I don't want to hear this." Dean pointed out to him.

"I concur—you do a _terrible_ impression of me." Lana replied, though she smiled a little.

It was pretty obvious to Spruce as he studied them that though they _seemed_ like they were in control, Lana was the one with the pants in the relationship. She had the two men wrapped around her little finger and even though Sam seemed to be the most upset about things, he couldn't help but smile at Lana—all of them a little scared or not.

"You got two months left, Dean. Instead, we're gonna die tonight." Sam told him as he started banging on the door.

Spruce decided to speak up. "What the hell is going on, guys?"

"I'll tell you what's going on. Every door, every window—I'm guessing every exit out of this house—they're all sealed." Sam explained to him.

"Why are they sealed?" Maggie asked cautiously.

Sam looked at her. "It's a supernatural lockdown, okay? Whatever took Corbett doesn't want us to leave, and it's no death echo. This is a bad mother, and it wants us scared."

"Or it just wants us." Maggie replied to him.

"Uh, guys, the camera's fritzing again." Spruce pointed out as Harry and Maggie held each other's hands.

They were terrified and Lana didn't look too happy when Ed said that the SMF was spiking again. Sam pointed out that another echo was coming, but it was soon explained that it was a different ghost—a _different echo_. That didn't bode well for Lana, who began to try and figure out what it was that she was going to do to get them all safe and sound out of the house as Dean tried to shock the ghost out of the echo to no avail.

"Stay close." Lana explained to them as they went for the other room.

Maggie swallowed from behind the camera. "Did the echoes take Corbett?"

"No, they didn't—echoes don't work like that." Lana explained to her, shaking her head. "Death echoes are ghosts that usually haunt places where they lived or died…except these ones didn't live _or _die here—hence our confusion."

"So, what are they doing here?" Maggie asked Lana.

"Hey, give the lady a cigar." Dean replied and then looked into the camera she was holding. "Alright, seriously, does looking at this nightmare through that camera make you feel better or something? I mean…"

Maggie nodding, the camera moving up and down. "Well, yeah. Uh, yeah. I think so."

Lana smiled and told Dean to leave Maggie alone, Maggie catching him take his hand and run her thumb along it before letting it go. It was kind of obvious that Lana and Dean were together, and Maggie focused her attention on Sam as he found a document about Daggett. There was definitely a LOT more research to be done and Maggie was fascinated by it.

"Freeman Daggett, house's last owner, officially commended for 20 years of fine service at the Gamble general hospital." Sam explained to everyone.

Dean looked at him. "He's a doctor?"

"Janitor…and all these rations? He died at 64 and kept himself here with a lifetime supply of rations just in case of a…oh! Atmoic attack." Lana finished for Sam, holding up a 'Survival Under Atomic Attack' leaflet and then opened up a box. "Ready for some more research by your wife?"

Dean smirked. "What did you find?"

"Taxidermy tags—those echoes? Their bodies are here because Daggett _brought_ them here." Lana explained, handing over the tags. "So can I get !$ now?"

"Wow, and you said it on camera." Dean said, winking and then clearing his throat. "Let's just get out of this alive."

Spruce decided to get back on track since Lana and Dean stopped even _looking _at each other. "That's nasty, Dude."

"Right…wait a minute." Dean said as he looked at the group.

Maggie had disappeared to go and try to find Corbett on her own and Dean knew that was a _bad_ idea. When she was back with the group, Ed suddenly exclaimed about how something big was coming and then the camera started fritzing—and Sam disappeared. Dean and Lana immediately went looking for him in one of the other rooms and Harry tried to reassure Maggie, who was terrified, both of them ending up kissing and Spruce catching it on tape as Ed found them, dumbfounded.

"My best friend…and my best sister." Ed told him.

Harry looked at him, practically jumping away from Maggie. "Ed."

"Harry."

"Ed."

"Harry."

Harry took a breath. "Listen, Ed—"

"—are you banging my sister?" Ed demanded.

"No! No!" Harry exclaimed, looking at Ed.

"Hold my glasses." Ed told Spruce and then hurried to beat up on Harry.

Lana sighed and hurried to them, Dean following her there, Ed and Harry beating up on each other as Maggie shot Spruce a look. She had really hoped that she and Harry could have had a moment _without _Spruce getting Ed involved, but obviously that just _wasn't _going to happen. Now she could tell that the fight was pissing off Dean _and_ Lana, and Lana had seemed like the one who would actually understand what was happening and be all right with it to some extent.

"What the !$ are you doing?!" Dean exclaimed when he separated them. "Cut it out! We're down by two people!"

Lana sighed loudly. "Give them a break, Dean…please."

"No!" Dean yelled and then he went to look for Sam some more.

Lana took a deep breath and shook her head because he was really upset and their little banter had been short lived. They were just at each other's throats lately and as she felt the fear swell up around her, Sam was tied to a chair at a table with a bleeding Corbett, and the other dead bodies. Sam knew he had to try to get through this, but at the same time, he was pretty certain that they were doomed unless Lana found them.

"Corbett? Corbett. Corbett. Hey, wake up, man." Sam said across the table. "Corbett. Hey. Corbett. Hey."

Corbett swallowed. "Sam."

"Corbett, you got to keep listening to my voice, okay? I'm right here. Stay awake." Sam told him with a nod.

"Don't listen. It stops hurting, so don't worry." The ghost explained, showing up and picking a metal rod up off of the table.

"Corbett, stay with me. Stay with me, you got it? I'm right here. Hey. Stay with me. Don't. Don't. No!" Sam exclaimed, but the spirit pierced Corbett's throat and Sam knew he was dead, Lana feeling it. "No! Corbett! No! Corbett!"

Lana dropped to her knees and Dean looked over to her, noticing that Ed got to her first, Lana reaching up and grasping his hand. Normally she could feel things like this and it wouldn't effect her—ever since she had become in tune with her darker half—but she hated that with the emptiness and the sadness, was Sam's _fear_. Sam was still her best guy friend, and she really couldn't bear to feel him so scared and so sad he couldn't save Corbett.

"What is it?" Dean asked her, sending Ed a look. "What did you feel?"

Ed made a face. "Excuse me? What did she _feel_?!"

"Corbett…he's not…Sam's alone and he's stuck." Lana explained, and then she stood up and headed to Daggett's personal effects. "He was afraid of something, Dean…Daggett, he…he was afraid of being alone. Bomb shelters! We should be searching for a bomb shelter! Okay, follow me and stay close, please—we can't afford to lose someone else, so please, no mishaps this time!"

Lana hurried off, Dean following close behind her, and Spruce close behind him as she led the way. She was pretty sure she knew where to go and as the Ghostfacers followed her, the ghost put a party hat on Sam and explained to him that it was all going to be okay. He wanted Sam to relax but Sam was still freaking out and Lana could feel it—it was leading her in the right direction and she jumped when a door slammed behind them and turned around. It was just her, Dean and Spruce…Maggie, Ed and Harry were stuck on the other side of the door.

"Um, who closed the door?" Spruce asked Dean and Lana.

"It did. It wants to separate us." Dean explained to him and then yelled through the door. "Ed! Listen to me!"

Ed swallowed. "What?"

"There's some salt in my duffle. Make a circle and get inside." Den instructed him.

Ed hesitated and then took a breath. "Inside your duffle bag?"

"In the salt, you idiot!" Dean yelled at him.

Lana shook her head but decided not to reprimand Dean because she knew that he was freaking out and she needed to Sam. Besides, Ed, Harry and Maggie got the salt and made a circle our themselves, going as fast as they could. Harry was _definitely _freaking out and Ed was trying to be calm, but he was just as scared as Harry was—Maggie too.

"Guys, guys, I don't want to die, and I don't want you to die." Harry said quickly.

Ed shook his head. "Harry, listen…listen to me, okay? Listen. If we don't die…it's totally okay if you, uh, do my sister."

"Nice." Maggie told Ed, hitting him and then looking out. "Guys. It's coming again."

The camera was jamming again, and soon Corbett's spirit appeared, which freaked the three out. That was what Lana had meant and as Corbett appeared to Ed, Harry and Maggie, Spruce was filming Dean and Lana. Lana didn't want her magic on camera, but she didn't want Sam dead even more so she was debating opening the doors by flicking her wrists and making the doors open on their own.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Spruce asked suddenly.

Dean glanced at him. "What?"

"Earlier, you guys and Sam…he said you had two months left?" Spruce asked Dean.

"Yeah, it's complicated. A while ago, Sam…No. No. No. I'm not gonna whine about my !$ problems to some !$ reality show. I'm gonna do my !$ job." Dean told him, flipping him off.

Spruce nodded slowly. "Is it cancer?"

"Shut up." Dean said, sighing when Lana jumped in.

"He's dying in three days, leaving me alone with our son and I'm finally _not_ sore anymore from pushing a 8 pound baby out three months ago and I can finally get !$, but _he_ dragged us _here_, so…he's as upset as me." Lana explained, Dean hitting her shoulder softly.

"You hear that?" Dean asked her, and she nodded, all of them hearing the song, _**It's my Party**_.

Inside the room, the ghost was explaining to Sam about how he had been waiting for more friends. He got lonely and Lana moved the cupboard blocking the entrance with a flick of her wrist, Spruce freaking out a little and Lana shrugging. She wanted to get to Sam, and so she opened the door with her mind, Dean sighing as she tried to explain to Spruce that she was a witch—but a good one, Spruce looking at Corbett's lifeless body as they went to help Sam.

"Oh, God. What have we done? Oh, Corbett." Ed said, still in the ring of salt.

Harry swallowed then whispered, "Ed."

"Yeah?" Ed answered softly.

"Corbett's a…he's a death echo. He's reliving his own murder." Harry explained to him.

"Over and over forever." Maggie added with a nod.

Spruce tried to wrap his head around Lana's powers as Lana tried to explain to him that Daggett was just lonely. There was too much going on, but when Spruce realized that he had to deal with it, he just listened to Sam as Sam explained more about Daggett. All that mattered was getting back to the others now, and getting out of the Morton House.

"No, no, no, Daggett was the Norman Bates, stuff-your-mother kind of lonely. That's why he lifted these bodies from the morgue, threw himself a birthday party, except they were the only ones who would come. Anyway, so, at midnight, he sealed them in the bomb shelter and went upstairs and OD'd on horse tranqs." Sam explained to all of them.

Dean looked at him. "How do you know this?"

"Cause he told me." Sam said with a shrug.

"Okay so he's pretty much just trying to get people to come to his party?" Lana asked him, nodding as Sam nodded and then loading her gun and smiling at Spruce as he asked about it. "Rock salt—it'll keep Daggett at bay for now, promise."

Spruce nodded slowly. "You can't just…I dunno…zap him?"

"My powers don't work like that, sadly." Lana said with a laugh. "And if they do, I haven't figured it out yet—I'm new to this."

Spruce just nodded as Maggie, Harry and Ed continued to watch Corbett. They could tell that he was in a _lot _of pain, but no matter what they said, Corbett kept dying and they knew they had to stay inside the salt circle. Then Sam looked at Spruce and made a face as Lana led them back upstairs, but felt something and paused, Dean watching her.

"Seriously…you're still shooting?" Sam asked Spruce.

"It makes him feel better." Dean replied, resting his hand on Lana's shoulder. "Don't ask."

Spruce freaked a little when the camera started jamming. "Ah, Hell, guys. Get in your ghost-role thing. Something's coming."

"Just stay calm." Lana explained, stopping the ghost when it appeared and went for Spruce.

It was confused and looked at her, Dean getting a shot in and making him disappear, the others upstairs in the salt circle. Harry suddenly had a plan and he turned to Ed, Maggie watching them and trying to get over the fact that they were having to watch Corbett die. This wasn't what she had signed on for, but it was proving to her that the supernatural existed and she was glad that Harry and Ed had that at least.

"Ed. He had feelings for you." Harry explained to him.

Ed looked at Harry rather confused. "Huh?"

"He wanted you." Harry explained, placing his hand on Ed's chest a moment.

"Want…wanted me to what?" Ed asked Harry, honestly not understanding.

Harry looked at him harder. "You know."

"No." Ed replied, finally understanding.

"And you know what you've got to do. You can do it, Ed. You've always been the brave one. Yes, you can. You make us brave…Maggie, right?" Harry asked, looking to Maggie for support.

Maggie was still focused on how real all of it was, but she knew that this was important so she agreed and nodded at her brother. If there was ever a moment that they all needed to band together and use their heads, it was right then. This was Ed's job to do and he could do it…she _knew_ he could do it.

"You got to go be gay for that poor, dead intern." Harry told him, watching as the wheels turned in Ed's head. "You got to send him into the light."

Ed nodded and slowly left the circle. "Corbett?"

"Maggie, no. No." Harry told her, making her let Ed go.

"It's okay. It's okay, don't worry." Ed said, walking up to Corbett. "Corbett, look. Hey, it's just Ed, buddy. It's just me. Hey, hey, Corbett, listen to me. Listen to me. I…we…you meant…Corbett, you meant a lot to the team. You meant…you meant a lot to me. You know, never…never back down…never say a bad word, okay? I remember that, Corbett. I remember that. I remember because I love you, Corbett. I really, truly love you. Do you remember that? Do you?"

Ed smiled a little as Corbett's spirit reacted to him and asked, "Ed?"

"Yeah. Yeah, Corbett, it's…Corbett, yeah, it's me. It's me. Look at me. You got to help us, man. You have to help us, Corbett." Ed explained to him. "Please. Please. Please help us right now."

Meanwhile in the basement, Daggett's spirit attacked the Winchesters, and was about to attack Spruce when Lana lifted her hand and stopped. Corbett's spirit appeared in the room and rushed the ghost, Lana smiling a little even though it was bittersweet and she felt the pain and sadness in her heart. Both spirits disappeared, and while all of the member of the Ghostfacers _and _the Winchesters left the Morton house in the morning, Harry and Ed commented in the background.

"Leap year, February 29th, the Morton house. A tragic day…a day of souls bound in torment, of lives held in cruel balance. But the Ghostfacers…they did the best that they could. We lost a beloved friend, but we gained new allies. We know this much…that every day, including today, is a new beginning. We learned more than we can say in the brutal feat of the Morton house." Ed explained to the audience.

"The Ghostfacers were forced to face something far more scary than ghosts. They were forced to face themselves." Harry said dramatically.

"War changes men." Ed added.

Harry took a breath. "And Maggie and Lana."

"War changes men…and two women." Ed revised. "You know, Corbett, we just…oh, gosh, we just like to think that you're out there watching over us."

"As far as we're concerned, you're not an intern anymore. You have more than earned full Ghostfacer status. Plus, it'd be cool to have a ghost on the team." Harry said as the thought cam to him.

Ed nodded in agreement. "Yeah. You know, and here we were, thinking that, you know, we were teaching you, and all this time, you were teaching us…about heart, about dedication, and…about how gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day. Thank you, Alan J. Corbett."

"Go well into that starry night, Young Turk. Go well." Harry says he and Ed back in the chairs from the beginning.

A small tribute to Corbett comes on, Corbett talking to the camera because though he was lost, he would never be forgotten. He was part of the team and his death shook his partners, but they knew that they had proven what they set out to prove. There was no quitting, for then Corbett would have died in vain—it was the Ghostfacer's duty to show the world that ghosts existed.

"Come on, Spruce. I got to get all this stuff packed up." Corbett told the camera.

Spruce shrugged. "So? Pack and talk."

"I don't know what to say." Corbett admitted.

"Say what comes to mind. This is one of our confessional moments, Corbett, so confess." Spruce explained. "What do you think was gonna happen tonight? What do you think's gonna happen tonight on this trip?"

Corbett smiled and said, "I think tonight…I really do…"I think all our dreams are gonna come true. Does that sound stupid?"

"Kind of does, yeah." Spruce told him, and they both laughed.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

When the episode ended, I smiled a little and looked at the team around us as they showed us what they had gotten from the hunt. Dean and Sam actually seemed pretty impressed even though the three of us knew that we had to get rid of this. The world just wasn't ready to know all of this, and there was no way that we could let people know that we were out here trying to save people. It was best the world didn't know that Sam, Dean and I were involved in this, and the sooner the better—I had been away from Johnny for _too_ long and I knew Sam missed Kate.

"So, guys, what do you think? You all right?" Ed asked us.

Dean nodded a little. "You know, I kind of think it was half awesome."

"Half awesome…that's full-on good, right?" Maggie exclaimed, looking to us for answers and smiling when the three of us nodded.

"Yeah. I mean, it's…it's bizarre how y'all are able to…to honor Corbett's memory while grossly exploiting the manner of his death. Well done." Sam added, Lana smacking his arm.

"Tight a rope as that is to walk…it was well put together, it got the point across, and the tribute at the end was beautiful." Lana told them, resting her hand on Ed's shoulder. "Just…you know in my experience when the world sees things like this, uh…straitjackets tend to come to the people behind them."

"Or a punch in the face." Dean said and then smiled a little. "Sometimes both."

I laughed a little and ran my fingers through my hair, Harry, Ed, Spruce and Maggie looking at us. They didn't really seem amused, nor did they like that Sam, Dean and I were trying to make them feel like they shouldn't put their hard work out there. It was just that if we couldn't talk them out of this, it was going to be harder for them to lose everything when they did.

"Oh, come on, guys, don't be Facer haters because we happen to have gotten the footage of the century." Harry told us.

"Oh, yeah." Ed agreed as Sam, Dean and I headed for the door.

Sam and Dean looked at each other and Dean said, "You got us there."

"Yeah." Sam said sarcastically.

"We'll see you guys around…Ed." Lana replied with a wink, Dean grabbing her arm and leading her out.

I rolled my eyes and headed out with Sam and Dean, the three of us heading for the Impala because we definitely needed to get back home. Still, we had to make sure that our electromagnet worked, so we were waiting for some kind of confirmation. Then we heard it—they all let out screams because it had wiped their hard drives. It hurt to do it, but we couldn't let them keep all of that evidence.

"Electromagnet wiped out every tape and hard drive they have." Dean nodded slowly.

Sam smiled and nodded too. "World just isn't ready for the Ghostfacers."

"That's too bad. I kind of liked the show." Dean admitted.

"Had its moments." I agreed with a nod as Sam agreed with me. "I did kinda like how every time I said 'laid' it sounded like I was saying a dirtier word when they bleeped it all out with the skull in front of our mouths like we were metal or something."

"Speaking of which," Dean said as we all quickly got into the car and Dean pulled out onto the highway, "we need to get home and rectify all of this celibacy."

xxxx

When we got home, Kate informed us that Johnny was napping and so Dean and I headed straight for the bedroom, his lips crashing into mine as I shut the door behind us. Kate and Sam pretty much knew we had our game faces on, and I giggle a little as Dean went straight for his belt. He really wasn't wasting any time, but I wanted to drag things out a little since it had been so long for us.

"Wait, wait…slow down." I said as he nipped at my neck. "Baby…slow down."

Dean grunted and pulled back to look at me. "Okay, it's been like _five_ months almost, Lanni…how long I gotta wait?"

"You're cute when you're needy but I'm expecting foreplay." I whispered, kissing him and then smirking. "Wanna try role-playing or something?"

"That's Johnny." Dean said with a sigh.

He had just wiggled his eyebrows at my suggestion and then the baby monitor had gone off and we both knew what _that_ cry was—he was hungry. I knew that I had some bottles in the fridge with breast milk in them so Kate could get him, but Dean and I hadn't seen our son for a good 40 hours and I wanted to…even though I _really_ wanted to sleep with my husband. Dean saw the look in my eyes and buckled his pants back up, looking at me and nodding, pointing out the door.

"I'm sorry, Baby." I explained to him.

He shook his head and pushed me out the door. "It's fine, let's just go, okay?"

"Okay." I said, and we both went to the nursery, beating Kate there.

She seemed to understand too that Dean and I really just wanted to see our son, and I picked him up and let him latch on. I was pretty sore anyway since it had been a while since I'd gotten to feed him, and I felt like the tension in my breasts were being alleviated as Johnny fed and Dean ran his hand along Johnny's head, Johnny happy to see us. So we spent some time with him and then handed him over to his uncle, me dragging Dean out into the rain.

Johnny could do without us for a few hours since we'd been spending some time with him, and besides—I'd only been kissed in the rain once before in my life. Dean raised his eyebrows at me as I wrapped my arms around his neck and then placed my finger to his mouth, smiling when he kissed it softly. We were getting pretty soaked to the bone, but really I just wanted a little romance and then Dean could ravage me all he wanted.

"I've been kissed in the rain once—but only once." I explained to him. "I'd really like for it to be by you this second lifetime around…what do you say?"

Dean smiled at me. "If it was Lance, we're doing it out here too."

"Dean!" I exclaimed and then I sighed a little. "I'm not having sex in the rain."

Dean kissed me since he knew that Lance had _indeed_ been the one to kiss me in the rain first and I smiled. There was just something about the way that my lips seemed to fit with his—the way my body seemed to fit into his and I was a little surprised when he pressed me to the Impala and his hands began to stray. Honestly I _didn't_ want to have sex out in the rain, but having his fingers unbutton my jeans and then just slip in automatically made me roll my hips to meet his hand—I wanted it too damn bad.

"That's my girl." Dean whispered, kissing me again and then making sure his fingers found their mark and pushed in, me moving against him and spreading my legs a little more. "Well for someone who doesn't want to do this here and now, you're pretty much _asking_ for it."

I smiled as he started to dip and stroke, my eyes lulling. "Shut up and kiss me."

Dean complied hooking his fingers and making me moan a little as he kissed me passionately, nodding as I went to unbuckle his belt. I bit his neck softly, running my tongue up to his earlobe and sucking on it. He moaned a little too and pressed me harder up against the Impala, hooking his fingers again which made me let out a small cry and move my hips towards him again.

"Bed…I really wanna do this on a bed." I puffed out.

He nodded and went to nuzzle me neck, rubbing his thigh against mine as he pushed his fingers inside a little farther. "Someone needs to do something for her husband first."

"Oh, yeah?" I asked, but I really couldn't hold off much longer.

Dean just nodded and bit my neck hard, making me let out a cry that soon turned into me giving in to the release and rocking against his hand. I had to ride out the intense feelings for a moment, and then Dean removed his fingers and kissed my lips softly, murmuring that I was 'perfect', and I took his hand and dragged him back to the house. We went past Sam and Kate pretty quickly, both of them investing with Johnny in the living room with his blocks, Dean and I soaked to the bone.

When we made it back into our room, I shut the door behind us and Dean and I stripped our clothes off, setting to touch each other immediately. We backed up towards the bed and lay down on it, me on top, Dean running his fingers through my hair and smiling a little as he rocked his hips up into my hand. I ran my fingers down his body and wrapped my hand around him, tugging at him the way that I knew he liked and I ran my teeth along his shoulder.

"I love you." I whispered, biting his shoulder. "I've missed this."

Dean nodded and removed my hand, bringing me closer against him, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth when I kissed him, both of us moaning a little. Since it had been far too long since we'd gotten to do this as far as we were both concerned, I let him push in a little and ran my nose along him, holding my breath a little as he pulled out and then pushed in a little more after a pause. Soon he had pushed his flesh in completely and there was nothing that we could do to stop what was going to happen next.

We both rocked against each other, hands roaming as we tried to get our breathing in order. Soon our bodies were shaking from our release and we kissed, Dean hoisting me up a little to pull out, tucking my hair behind my ears and running his thumbs along my jaw and cheeks. I just smiled a little as he whispered that he loved me too, and then settled my body against his and snuggled into him, letting him stroke my hair as we resettled a little bit.

"Finally." Dean puffed out, chuckling when I pushed on his damp pecks softly. "Sorry, I was just being honest."

I laughed and kissed his peck softly, making a trail of kisses up to his mouth. "Another time…please?"

"Anything for you." Dean whispered and I smiled and nodded, kissing him tenderly and parting my legs for him again as I felt his hand, moaning a bit into his mouth as we started all over again.

**Note: So there you have it—a fun chapter because there is a very **_**sad**_** chapter next, so bring tissues for tonight's chapter, k? I really want to get to "Season Four" by tomorrow so I'm hoping to post tonight—that's my goal. If not, it will go up tomorrow morning. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	66. The Final Countdown

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**You might need some tissues for this and there's another smut warning even though there's not really "smut" exactly, just a little sex that's not very descriptive, but there's a bit of it, and the "f" word is used a few times.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"I think you've slept too long this morning, Princess." I whispered into Dean's ear, nipping it softly and smiling as he chuckled, climbing on top of him and rolling my eyes, shaking my head as he went to run his fingers along my thighs and frowned, opening one eye, raking it over me and pouting. "Sorry, I got dressed."

Dean's eyes met mine. "I thought _you_ were the princess last night and I was the stable boy—which by the way, why was I a stable boy?"

"Because it was _my_ turn to pick the 'skit'." I reminded him, smiling when he sat up and kissed me, starting to lift up my shirt as I sat on his lap in my boxers and t-shirt, just nodding a little into him.

For the last month and a half, Dean and I had been taking advantage of our nights together since Johnny slept through them, and last night had been no exception. We'd even been trying all sorts of new things in the foreplay and positions area. Sadly enough there had also been a couple of hunts and a _lot_ of dead ends to Dean's predicament, so he and I had been getting as much of each other as we could. We had six weeks left, and I didn't want to think about that—I just wanted to spend time with my husband and our son and so far I was getting just that.

"_Someone_ just wants a little action, huh?" I asked between kisses, letting Dean pull my shirt off and toss it onto the floor, me cradling his face and moving to get under the covers with him. "Lucky me, Johnny's already been fed and his aunt wanted to take him out on a walk with her boyfriend today."

Dean chuckled and nodded. "Good thing I actually _like_ this 'Penn' guy or he wouldn't be allowed around our little man."

"Good thing he knows about mine and Annie's heritage or when Johnny made a force field, it would be awkward." I replied, dropping the boxers I had been wearing onto the floor and snuggling up against my husband's naked body with my own. "So…what's the 'skit' for this morning?"

"I've always wanted to pretend I was a cowboy." Dean offered, kissing my nose with a grin on his face.

"Yeah? My mother always told me to stay away from cowboys…" I replied with a wink, covering myself with the sheets and sitting up. "I mean all you do is blow into town, stir up some trouble and then ride off into the sunset."

Dean smirked at me and out came the Southern accent. "Well, purdy lady, there's only way to find out if I'll still be around in the morning."

"What do you take me for? Some cheap floozy?" I asked smiling a little when I realized my accent for those women in the westerns was pretty spot on.

"Of course not—you're incredibly classy." Dean replied, leaning forward and stealing a kiss, smiling as I returned it, quick as it was. "How about a little roll in the hay?"

I scrunched up my nose and smiled a little. "One little toss in the hay shouldn't hurt, I don't think…but just _one_."

"Just one." Dean replied nodding, kissing me softly.

He pulled his lips away our eyes locked, and then kissed me again, longer and longer each time until I was lying down, Dean climbing on top of me and I felt it—he was sad. This was supposed to be a happy morning tryst and suddenly he was sad, and stroking my hair, pulling back and running his thumb along my jaw. I cupped his face and wrapped my legs around him, nodding when he made a pleased noise as I brought his body close to mine, closing the distance between our intimate parts.

"Where'd the playful go?" I asked him, kissing softly and shifting under him to move my body against his.

Dean took a breath. "I'm just scared…Lilith has my contract and we can't get to her and Bela's dead and sold the Colt and I just…what if it's all hopeless?"

"It's not." I told him firmly, giving him a look when he gave me one. "Don't give me that look, Dean Winchester. Bela fucked us over and Kate didn't get to kill her and it upset her, but it's all right—I've been practicing my powers and I'm going to find a way to get you out of this. I don't care about anything but getting to keep you. Please…can we go back to the playful?"

"We can't pretend like—"

"—you're _not_ going to die."

I kissed him when Dean just nodded and it was pretty clear to both of us that the foreplay was over. So instead, Dean just initiated the act because we both needed to feel better after his complete kill of the mood, and we just focused on what we were doing. Things stayed pretty silent—just the two of us running our hands along each other and kissing as our bodies moved together, occasionally gripping the other tighter with our nails. Afterwards we just kind of lay there and Dean ran his fingers through my hair as he rested his lips on my forehead, me tracing shapes on his chest in his sweat as I cradled his body with my own.

"I'm not going to lose you." I whispered to him.

Dean nodded and kissed my head. "I trust you."

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I was in the woods, running as fast as I could away from the growls of the hellhounds chasing me. All I could think about was that I needed to get as far away as possible, but the hellhound was hot on my heels and I fell. It didn't matter how much I squirmed or how hard I fought to get away—I was at its mercy…and then I woke up reading the chapter about hellhounds in the book Lana had given me to do some research.

"Dig up anything good?" Sam asked as he joined me.

I loved my wife—I _really_ did—but it was 30 hours before I was supposed to die and my eyes were playing some tricks on me. It was like I could _see_ demons…so her demon blood and Johnny's demon blood really weren't helping me to stay calm and relaxed like she'd wanted me to be. She was even trying to summon demons to try and help, but I knew the second she decided to ask if she could summon Ruby, I was going to lose it, so we'd been avoiding each other…except for the morning tryst with the lights off and maximum banter.

"No." I told him, quickly shutting the book. "Nothing good."

Sam nodded at me. "Lana has—she's found Lilith."

"What? Seriously?" I asked him and nodded as he nodded. "Wow. With just, uh, 30 hours to go."

"It's better late than never, don't you think?" Sam asked me, and I just nodded and then glanced at him as he sat down next to me. "Hey, hey, Dean…look, we're cutting it close, I know…but we're gonna get this done. I don't care what it takes, Dean. You're not gonna go to Hell. I'm not gonna let you—_Lana's_ not gonna let you. I swear. Everything's gonna be okay."

I nodded and looked up at him, making a small face because I was seeing it again—the decomposing, freaking out, exorcism face. Soon the hallucination was over though, and I knew that Sam was waiting for me to say something and I couldn't wig out like this…we really didn't have the time. So I just nodded and opened my mouth to answer him since I knew that I was going to have to make him understand that I heard him and I didn't want to freak him out by telling him about my hallucinations—Lana got it, but I knew that Sam would immediately equate it to time running out and I didn't need him anymore stressed out than he already was.

"Yeah, okay." I told him.

"Bobby and I are pretty ready to go." Lana said through the door after knocking on it.

She didn't want to enter and have me freak out on her, and I hated seeing her as the creepy demon part and not as my beautiful wife. I had thought that I had gotten over what she was—but seeing her like this was starting to make me nervous. What had the two of us gotten into? Why had we done this? What kind of cruel joke was the world playing here? Why did I have to be _so_ in love with her?

"Alright. Let's go." Sam said, and I followed him out to where Lana and Bobby where, Kate and Johnny already out at the car.

I shook my head as Lana headed for the door, keeping her face turned away from me. "Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Just holster it up, there, Tex. Een if we could get to Lilith, we have no way to gank her—Lana says she isn't strong enough yet, she doesn't think according to the demons she's talked to. Also, isn't this the same Lilith that wants your giant head on a pike? Should I continue?"

"Ain't you just bringing down the room?" Bobby intervened.

"We're going and you're not stopping this." Lana said, grabbing her coat and slipping her shoes on, her back still to me. "You won't let us summon Ruby—"

"—because she's the Miss Universe of lying skanks." I reminded her. "She told you, Kate and Sam that she could save me—lie! She seems to know everything about Lilith but forgot to mention…oh, right…Lilith owns my soul!"

"—if _we_ don't go, _I'm_ going…on my own." Lana told me, heading out of the house to the car since she had given herself the final word.

I grunted angrily as Bobby and Sam both exchanged looks—they knew better than to get in between Lana and me when we were fighting. Bobby took the silence and my angry look out to the car as Lana talked to Kate, to go and try to find something else and then Sam split too, Kate coming in to see me. I sighed loudly as she sat down and then she opened her mouth and I knew I was going to get it.

"I'm starting to think you don't care." Kate explained sadly. "So you mind telling me _why_ you don't care?"

I gave her look. "I _do_ care, Kate! I _do_! But come on! Ruby's a liar!"

"Yeah, but Sam has the knife and he's already summoning her." Kate said with a shrug. "You should be willing to do _anything_ to stay here, whether you like the way we get there or not. Think about your son if nothing else."

"Did you just—fuck, Sam!" I said, heading towards the basement.

"I'd rather if you left that to me!" Kate called after me.

I smirked a little because I appreciated the joke, but this wasn't the way I wanted things to happen. All I needed was some time to get us all back on the same page and I really didn't want to have to deal with Ruby. She had a way of making Sam believe her, and if Lana thought she could use her to get to Lilith, she would—I didn't want _any_ of that to happen at all.

"Oh, so you can save him?" Sam asked Ruby.

Ruby shook her head. "No. But you can."

"What?" Sam asked, rather perplexed.

"Sam, you've got some God given talent. Well, not God given, but you get the gist." Ruby said with a shrug.

"All that psychic crap? That's gone ever since Yellow Eyes died." Sam explained to her.

Ruby shook her head again. "Not gone. Dormant. And not just visions, either. Why do you think Lilith is so scared of you? Why do you think everyone's so scared of Lana and Johnny if Johnny gets a handle on things? All that demon blood? If you wanted, you could wipe her off the map without moving a muscle—it's the truth."

"And you decided to tell me this just now?" Sam asked her, raising her eyebrows.

Ruby gave him a look. "Um…demon. 'Manipulative' is kind of in the job description. The fact is, is that you never would have considered it, not until you were—"

"—desperate enough?" Sam finished for her.

"You don't like being different. You hate the way Dean looks at you sometimes, like you're some sort of sideshow freak. But suck it up because we got a lot of ground to cover, and we got to do it fast. But we can do it." Ruby explained to him, me shaking my head and frowning a little at how she looked. "Look, call me a bitch and hate me all you want but I have never lied to you, Sam. Not ever…and I'm telling you…you can save your brother. And I can show you how."

"So, that's you, huh?" I interrupted. "Our slutty little Yoda."

Ruby sighed loudly. "Dean. Charming as ever."

"Oh, I knew you'd show up…'cause I knew Sam wouldn't listen! But you're not gonna teach him anything. You understand me? Over my dead body." I told her menacingly.

"Oh. Well, you're right about that." She said with a nod.

I was kind of upset with the way she was talking to me—she knew I was doomed and so did I but did she have to _rub it in_? If things could have been different than they would have been, but the fact of the matter was that she was using my death to manipulate my brother and I was _not_ going to have that…I just wasn't.

"What you are gonna do is give me that knife." I told her firmly. "Then you can go crawl back into whatever slop you came from and never bother me or my brother again. Are we clear?"

Ruby looked at me. "Your brother is carrying a bomb inside of him, and we'd be stupid not to use it—just like we'd be stupid not to use Lana. She has even more potential but she'd holding out for _you_…because _you_ don't like that part of her—the part she had to _embrace _in order to stop her little Jekyll and Hyde acts."

"Shut-up." I told her, glancing at Sam. "Don't you get it now, Sam? She wants you to give in to this whole demonic, psychic whatever, okay? Hell, she probably wants you to become her little 'antichrist superstar'."

"I already have Lana to be that if I wanted." Ruby shot back. "I want Lilith dead. That's all."

I turned back to her. "Why?"

"I've told you why!" She replied raising her voice.

"Oh, right, yeah." I said nodding. "Because you were human once and you liked kittens and long walks on the beach."

"You know, I am so sick of proving myself to you. You want to save yourself, this is how, you dumb, spineless dick!" Ruby shot in my face.

I punched her in the face, and it didn't take long for Ruby to react and hit me as well. We were both sporting some blood and when Sam came to intervene, Ruby made sure to neutralize his attempts before knocking me down to the ground and kicking me several times in the stomach, me looking up as Lana screamed, 'Enough!' Soon Ruby was pinned to the opposite wall and I avoided looking at Lana but held Ruby's knife—it was what I had been after in the first place. Sure, I had been getting my ass kicked and it kind of bruised my ego, but that was nothing compared to what I could do with this knife in my possession.

"I'm sick and _fucking_ tired of all of the fighting!" Lana bellowed, and I made the mistake of looking up at her—besides the same kind of display I had seen with Sam earlier, Lana's eyes were yellow…and it scared me a little.

Ruby looked at her. "Lana…let me go."

"Why? So you and Dean can go back to beating the _shit_ out of each other? NO!" She yelled, and then she pointed up the stairs. "Sam, go before I get _really_ pissed off. Dean—follow him. Ruby and I need to talk."

"No…this isn't the answer." I told her firmly.

Lana glanced up at the ceiling. "She's not going anywhere."

I nodded as she noticed the Devil's Trap on the ceiling and then I got up slowly, Lana taking a deep breath and letting Ruby go. Ruby was pissed off and so was Lana and honestly I didn't want to see the showdown between them—I did, however, hope that Lana killed Ruby when she was done with her.

"Oh, so, you're just too stupid to live, is that it?" Ruby asked me as Sam and I went up the stairs. "Then fine. You deserve Hell. And I wish I could be there, Dean. I wish I could smell the flesh sizzle off your bones! I wish I could be there to hear you scream!"

I nodded as I kept going. "And I wish you'd shut your pie hole, but we don't always get what we want."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"Ruby? Shut the fuck up." I told her, sitting on the stairs and looking at her. "I know what I am…I know the power that I have…so why can't I tap into it?"

Ruby looked at me and cocked her head to one side, realizing that _I_ wanted her help and she smiled. She knew that I was caving to the side of me that Dean didn't want to have to deal with, but this was important. In all of my time talking to the demons and learning what I really was and what I was capable of, I hadn't ever asked the _real_ question—why couldn't I _do_ what I was _supposed_ to be able to do.

"You have an _amazing_ amount of power, Lana…you just need to give into it like you did to become whole." Ruby explained to me. "In fact…you could probably take Lilith out if you tried hard enough. Have you practiced?"

I took a deep breath. "You mean have I been able to kill a demon yet just by thinking it? Once…last week."

"Well Lilith isn't just _some_ demon, so you'll need more than that. You need to practice as much as you can in the next 30 hours, or Dean is toast." Ruby explained with a nod. "So…you gonna let me out?"

"No." I replied standing up. "Dean's mad enough at me as it is…give me a little while and I might just reconsider. For now, just…twiddle your thumbs or something."

Ruby was pretty upset with what I had said, but she kept quiet as I went up the stairs and then went to find Sam and Dean. They were having a brotherly moment as they prepared their weapons, and I didn't want to intrude, but I didn't mind listening. It was hard enough on me honestly that Dean could see me for who I 'truly was'…it hurt me that it hurt _him_ every time he looked at me.

"Don't you see a pattern here? Dad's deal, my deal, now this? I mean, every time one of us is…is up to the crick the other is begging to sell their soul. That's all this is, man." Dean told Sam, shaking his head. "Ruby's just jerking your chain down the road. You know what's it's paved with, and you know where it's going."

"Dean. What are you afraid's gonna happen?" Sam asked him, sitting down next to him, both of them done cleaning their guns. "This is me. I can handle it—and if it'll save you…"

I took a breath. "What if _I_ risk it?"

They both looked up at me and I shrugged a little. I had told myself that I wasn't going to get involved but if Sam didn't _have_ to do this, then he and Dean wouldn't be arguing about it. There was always another option and I knew that I had Johnny to think about but wasn't keeping his _father_ alive the most important thing here?

"You're Sam's brother and he'd do _anything_ for you…and so will I. I mean I have more juice in me and tapping into it isn't hard for me anymore." I explained.

Dean nodded. "Yeah…yeah, that's what scares me."

"More than my freaky demon face?" I asked him, tears in my eyes. "Dean, _please_…I _need_ to _save_ you."

"I know…all I'm saying is you guys are my weak spot—you guys and Johnny. You are. And I'm yours." Dean said with a shrug.

Sam shook his head. "No, you don't mean that. We're…we're family."

"I know…and those evil sons of bitches know it, too." Dean told us. "I mean, what we'll do for each other, you know, how far we will go…they're using that against us."

"So we stop being 'martyrs'? Really? What if the knife isn't enough?" I asked him, a couple of tears escaping. "I thought I could handle this when the time came, but I can't. Johnny's only five months old and he _deserves_ to know his _father_."

Dean took a deep breath. "I say we take this knife and we go after Lilith our way, the way Dad taught _us_ to, and the way you're Mom taught _you _to—_without _the magic. And if we go down, then, uh…then we go down swinging. What do you think?"

"I think you totally should have been jamming _**Eye of the Tiger**_ right there." Sam replied.

"Oh, bite me! I totally rehearsed that speech too." Dean added, making Sam smile and me cry a few more tears.

I just nodded and then started out of the room, Dean's voice catching me so I turned around. Sam went past me out of the room to be with Kate and Johnny in the living room and I just cried as Dean came over to me and wrapped his arms around me, both of us kissing gently. Then he pulled his lips back and rested his forehead against mine, shaking his head as my crying continued.

"I _need_ you to understand something, Dean." I told him softly.

Dean sighed and nodded. "It just scares me, Lanni."

"I _hate_ that _I_ scare you, but…I'm _not_ going to live without you and you have _no right _to ask me to." I explained to him.

"You're right." He said with a nod. "I don't have that right at all."

I nodded and kissed him, glad that he was responding and I reached back to lock the door to the spare bedroom in Bobby's. Dean pulled back and looked at me, smiling sadly, and I just shook my head and reached y hands up, touching his eyes softly and smiling when he closed his eyes for me. Then I ran my hands along his stuble and kissed him again, unbuttoning his button-up shirt.

"You look like you right now." Dean promised, and I knew he meant it.

I smiled sadly. "Still…keep your eyes closed. I don't want the last thing you see before we have mind-blowing sex to be me all 'exorcism-faced', all right?"

"Deal." Dean said, sitting on the bed and lying back when I pushed on his shoulders a little bit and straddled his lap.

"You're going to have to just feel this." I replied, slipping my hand down to his buckle.

Dean chuckled a little and nodded, eyes closed and hands running along my jeaned thighs, glad to do as I said. It was all about him right then and I just pleased him in every way that I could think of, smiling a little when he opened his eyes to look at me before pushing inside. He whispered that he could still only see _me_, and I nodded and kissed him, whispering that I loved him too when he whispered that he loved me and he always would. I didn't want to cry, and the pace he set made it pretty hard to concentrate, our bodies sliding and moving together, both of us concentrating at the task at hand.

I really didn't want him to pull out when he did, but I knew we didn't have the time and it was our last…I didn't want it to be, but part of me knew it could be. So I just told him I loved him a few more times and he told me he loved me too, holding me close to him and then he got up to get dressed, me following suit close behind and following him out to the kitchen. We both got something to drink and then he went into the living room, Kate and Sam out back with Bobby when we came to see Johnny, him sleeping in his basinet.

"You take care of your mother." Dean told him as I left the room to get him something else to drink and I paused when he said it outside the door, knowing he had waited until I left to say it. "Buddy? I love you…I do. I'm sorry I'm not going to be there for you. I'm sorry that I can't teach you how to take care of the Impala or how to pick up girls or anything, I just…I had to let your uncle live, all right? Someday you'll understand it, but I know that part of you will hate me for this forever, and I hope that somehow, you and your mother will get through this together. Love her as much as she loves you, okay? Just…do me a favor and take care of her."

I looked in as Dean leaned down to kiss Johnny's forehead as he slept, stroking his blonde baby hair fluff and the tears slid down my cheeks. I wiped them away and continued into the kitchen, getting something to drink and then looking in the shiny side of the toaster and making sure I looked all right. The last thing that Dean needed was me crying…the last thing he needed was me losing it when there was still a chance—there _had_ to still be a chance.

xxxx

Dean was feeling more relaxed after our little afternoon reandevous, and he, Sam and I headed for the car so we could go to New Harmony. Unfortunately the car wouldn't start and we looked up when we saw Kate and Bobby, Bobby holding up a part from the car and I sighed loudly. We had been hoping to take off and leave Johnny safe with Kate and Bobby since we trusted them, but that obviously wasn't the case.

"Where do you think you're going?" Bobby asked us, shaking the distributor cap right under Dean's nose, making us all get out of the car. "I think you guys might have me confused with a babysitter."

I sighed and took Johnny from Bobby, his arms outstretched to me already. "We got the knife."

"And you intend to use it without us?" Kate asked, cocking her head to one side.

Bobby gave me a look. "Do we look like ditchable prom dates to you?"

"No, Bobby, of course not." Sam answered him, looking at Kate as she gave him that glare she was so good at. "Baby, I wanted you safe."

"Well I'm sure as Hell not ready to be a 'Mom' if this went south." Kate told him, looking at me too.

I knew that Bobby and Kate weren't going to take it very well, but at the same time I had hoped they wouldn't have caught on until we were long gone. The fact of the matter was that I had the power to do this and I didn't want Johnny to be in any danger and I trusted him with his Aunt Kate and his Uncle Bobby. Why couldn't they just understand that this was a fight that I _had_ to be part of and just let us get away with this, just this once—this was my final chance to get Dean _saved_.

Dean looked at Bobby. "This is about me, Lana and Sam, okay? This isn't your fight."

"The Hell it isn't! Family don't end with blood, Boy. Besides, you need me—you need Kate too." Bobby told him.

"Yeah, I find it kind of offensive that I'm not considered part of this family by now." Kate said, looking directly at Sam as she said it.

Sam shook his head. "Baby, that's _not_ it—this could end bloody and I _can't_ lose you…I can't lose you too."

"Well maybe I can't lose _you_!" Kate cried out.

I took a deep breath. "Bobby has a point guys—even though we don't want to hear it. Dean?"

"Tell me, how many hallucinations you had so far?" Bobby asked cutting him off and since Sam and Kate didn't know, they gave us looks and Bobby just nodded. "That's what happens when you got hellhounds on your butt, and because I'm smart. Kate will go with you guys and I will follow—and Lana? You're staying with Johnny. Don't be stopping to pee every 10 minutes, either."

I smiled at him and nodded, putting Johnny into the car seat and watching as Kate let Sam kiss her even though she put up a fuss first. She knew how much she really meant to Sam, but she was Kate—if she didn't get pissed at us trying to leave her behind, then she wouldn't Kate. So we headed out onto the road, and we were all pretty silent, Johnny sleeping in his car seat since we'd been on the road a little while already and it had practically rocked him to sleep.

"Hey, Dean?" Sam asked in the silence.

Dean glanced at him. "Yeah?"

Sam took a breath. "You know, if this doesn't…if this doesn't go the way we want, I want you to know that—"

"—No. No, no, no, no, no." Dean said shaking his head.

"'No' what?" Sam asked him, making a face as Kate and I did.

Dean glanced at him again. "You're not gonna bust out the misty goodbye speech, okay? Lanni already tried that and I had to silence her. I mean, if this is my last day on Earth, I do not want it to be socially awkward. You know what I do want?"

Dean turned on the radio and Bon Jovi's _**Wanted Dead or Alive**_ came on which made me clap my hands, Dean sending me a look. I laughed a little and nodded as he chuckled it off because he understood me—I liked all kinds of music including country and this was one of the things he and I actually agreed on. It was the rap I couldn't stand and thank God Dean thought it was terrible too…but there was still the porn…how did I get _that_ to stop?

"Bon Jovi?" Sam exclaimed as Kate laughed.

"Bon Jovi rocks…on occasion." Dean replied, and then he started singing. "And I walk these streets! A loaded six-string on my back! I play for keeps! Come on." He said encouraging us, me and Kate started to sing along. "'Cause I might not make it back! I've been everywhere!"

Sam decided to join in. "Oh, yeah."

"Still I'm standing tall!" Dean and I sang loudly.

"I've seen a million faces and I've rocked 'em all. 'Cause I'm a cowboy on a steel horse, I ride. I'm wanted." We all sang in unison.

"Wanted!" Sam cried out which made me laugh at how off key it was, Kate running her fingers through his hair because she found it adorable.

"Dead or alive…dead or alive." Sam and Kate sang, me mouthing the words as Dean stopped, choking up as he did because it hurt me—what if this was it…what if I didn't get to say my 'goodbyes'?

We drove past a police officer and suddenly we were getting pulled over and while Sam was confused, Kate felt what I felt—demon. Dean stopped the car and the officer came to the window, Dean getting his documents and I got out of the car, as Dean began to waver. I flicked my wrist as the man turned to me and I pinned him where he was, making my hand into a fist and watching as he died, the demon smoking out of him, a single droplet of blood trickling out of my nose as Bobby parked behind us, jogging over to us.

"How did you know?" Bobby asked me.

I wiped the blood off. "I could feel him and then Dean hesitated and I knew he could see his real face…this is new—the killing with my powers thing."

"Yeah…" Bobby said with a nod, Kate rubbing my back and handing me a tissue.

xxxx

"You going to be okay?" Bobby asked me as Sam and Dean went to hide the police car and chatting about what Dean could see now. "You look upset."

I looked at him and nodded. "Yeah, well—I'm falling right into _every demon's_ plan, now aren't I? Dean has what? A little over 5 hours left?"

"He's piercing the veil." Bobby nodded, the boys coming back. "Glimpsing the 'B' side."

"Well with me sensing them and Dean seeing them we have better odds." I said with a nod. "I mean Lilith probably has demons scattered all over this town…we need to get as close to her as possible _without_ her knowing we're here."

Dean nodded and agreed to the plan, all of us getting back into the car and driving to the Fremonts' home. We knew that Lilith was there because I could feel her, and when Dean glanced in the window he could see her—I could tell. Johnny kept quiet and the six of us watched as she got into a little dispute and wrung her grandfather's neck from a distance. She was the creepiest little blonde girl I had ever seen, and Johnny made a force field around us all, trying to keep us safe from the dangerous demon.

"It's definitely the little girl." Dean said with a nod. "God, her face is awful."

Sam nodded and moved a little. "Alright, then let's go. We're wasting time."

"Wait!" Dean told him, catching Sam's arm.

"For what? For her to kill the rest of them?" Sam asked him skeptically.

I sighed loudly. "For one, Johnny's force field is still up—we're good, Johnny-Bear…thank you. Also, there are a few other demons in there. You don't really _think_ that she'd be on her own, do you? And Dean don't say a word—this isn't just about saving _you_…it's about saving _everyone_ so we're going in, we just have to find a way."

"Oh, damn it." Dean told us.

We started to prepare some Holy Water and then Dean acted as bait, Kate only staying behind with Johnny because I made Sam stay too. We drew away a couple of the demons and killed them—one with Ruby's knife and one with my powers, me squinting an eye because of the small headache it brought me. Then Ruby showed up and pressed Dean to a wire mesh fence, but I pulled her off like it was nothing with me powers as she threatened him.

"You…need to back off." I told her. "How did you get out of the Devil's Trap?"

She gave me a look. "What you don't know about me could fill a book."

"Oh!" Dean exclaimed in disgust as he looked at Ruby. "I…I just…I couldn't see you before, but you're one ugly broad!"

"Sam!" I chastised, him showing up with Kate—neither of them had Johnny.

Sam looked at Ruby. "You'll get the knife back when this is over—he's safe."

I knew that he meant Johnny and I knew that meant that he was with Bobby and I took a deep breath, nodding. I knew that right now Johnny's powers were incredibly powerful and he could protect himself but if I couldn't even protect myself from Lilith yet…how could he? Then again, my powers had been hidden mostly when I was little and my mother had kept them in check—Johnny's were unrestrained. God, I was such a _terrible _mother bringing Johnny into danger like this just to save Dean…what had I been thinking? Why was this so damn hard?

"It's already over. I gave you a way to save Dean. You shot me down. Now it's too late. He is dead. And I'm not gonna let you die, too." Ruby explained.

I made a face. "Let's just get out and find Lilith, all right? Just…let's go—you, keep your mouth shut, Bitch."

Ruby made a face but nodded, Dean, Sam and I finding that Kate knew where she was going—she even found the babysitter's body before us. It was almost like she had been paying more attention than we had been, what with bickering with Ruby and we finally found the little girl's father. He told us she wasn't his little girl anymore, but that she was up in her room, and when we got there, the little girl was fine—she wasn't Lilith anymore…Lilith was onto us.

We told the couple to stay with their daughter in the basement no matter what they heard and they just complied. Sam and I were down to our wit's end and Kate didn't even have an answer, Dean looking sad but at the same time not letting it physically show. It was all in his eyes and I didn't know how much of it I could take. I couldn't lose him…I couldn't, and I was about to lose it.

"Okay, you win. What do I have to do?" Sam asked Ruby.

Ruby gave him a look. "What do you mean?"

"If I focused _really_ hard, could I _kill_ Lilith?" I asked her quickly. "What do I do?"

"What the Hell do you think you're doing?" Dean asked when he joined us.

I turned to him. "Just shut up for a moment all right? I can't…I need to think here."

"You had your chance. You can't just flip and switch. We needed time…we don't have it—not even for you, Lana. You haven't practiced enough, but you're the closest to it." Ruby explained to me.

"No! No! This isn't okay! What about Johnny?! You didn't really say 'bye' to him and he has to feel that something is wrong! The speech when he was sleeping just doesn't count!" I told him, the tears already spilling out of my eyes.

Sam nodded at him. "We're not gonna let you go to Hell, Dean!"

"Yes, you are! Yes, you are. I'm sorry. I mean, this is all my fault. I know that. But what you're doing, it's not gonna save me. It's only gonna kill you." Dean told us.

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Sam asked him.

Dean smiled a little. "Keep fighting. And take care of my wheels. Sam, remember what Dad taught you, okay? And remember what I taught you…Lanni? Move on. Don't mourn me forever and raise Johnny…I love you more than I've ever loved anyone but you'll get through this…you're strong. Kate? Take care of Sammy, all right?"

Dean explained and I kissed him as the clock struck midnight, crying a little as he kissed me back intensely. I couldn't believe that his time was up and I couldn't do anything to save him. What if I could kill the hellhounds? There had to be _something_ that I could do! I pulled back and looked him in the eye, biting my trembling lip and stroking his cheek.

"I love you…you're my soul mate, Dean Winchester." I told him, bringing his fingers up to my mouth and kissing them.

"Sorry we couldn't save you." Kate told him softly, tears coming out of her eyes.

Ruby looked at Dean. "I'm sorry, Dean. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy."

"Hellhound." Dean said suddenly, Sam and I looking around and asking where it was. "There."

We started running from it and took refuge in one of the rooms, Kate, Sam and I holding the door shut as Dean spread some Goofer dust in front of the various exits. It wasn't going to last forever and I could save Kate, Sam and I with a force field but…what about Dean? This was it…I was going to lose him and I couldn't stop it and then suddenly Ruby was asking for the knife and we knew it was Lilith—so she pinned us. Ruby had been right…I wasn't strong enough to save Dean because I wasn't strong enough to face Lilith.

"How long have you been in her?" Dean asked her from the table he was pinned on top of.

She looked at him, head cocked. "Not long…but I like it. It's all grown-up and pretty."

"And where's Ruby?" Sam asked her.

"She was a very bad girl so I sent her far far away." Lilith explained, looking up.

Dean nodded a little. "You know, I should have seen it before but you all look alike to me."

Lilith went up to Sam and kissed him, Kate threatening her life, me trying to struggle against Lilith's power. She was strong—like stronger than other demon I'd ever faced kind of strong. I needed to be free of this to get to Bobby and to Johnny and I needed to save Dean. How could I be pinned like this? This couldn't be the end…I could _do_ this!

"So, is this your big plan, huh? Drag me to hell, kill Sam and Kate, and then what? Become queen bitch? Use Lana for her demon potential?" Dean asked her.

"I don't have to answer to puppy chow. Sic him, boy." Ruby said and opened the door, letting the hellhound in.

I shook my head, Sam and I pleading with her. "No! Stop! Stop it! No. No. Stop it. Stop it. No!"

The three of us could only watch as the hellhounds dug into Dean's flesh, the blood oozing, the hellhounds invisible to us. He was torn from the table top and he bled out on the floor, grunting in pain and we couldn't look away, the tears spilling out of our eyes as Lilith just watched, pride on her face. Then she looked at us as Dean lay there a bloody mess on the wood floor and nodded, smiling.

"Yes." She told us and tried to use her powers, a blinding white light hitting all of us but having no effect, all of us let out of our restraints. "Back. I said, back."

I shook my head as Sam picked up the knife. "I _hate_ you."

I started to use my power on her and though it affected her a little, she left out of Ruby's body and Sam, Kate and I looked directly at Dean's body. We went over to him, him ravaged by the hellhound, me getting to him first and looking down at his now lifeless eyes, trying to hold in the sobs as I held him, Sam on the other side holding him too. We just sobbed for a little while Kate rubbing our backs and crying too, carrying him finally out to Bobby.

We took him to Bobby's and I held Johnny close to me, trying to comfort him as he sobbed too, knowing Dean was gone. When he was a little more calm I got him to take a bottle and lay in his basinet, heading into the spare bedroom and closing the door behind me. I slid down the door and buried my face in my knees as I pulled my legs up tight, close to me, letting it all out, not caring that I needed to bathe and get all of the blood off of me—Dean was gone…and I felt like I was only half a person again because Dean Winchester had made me whole.

**Note: And there you have it…a sad, **_**sad**_** chapter, and the next one is Season Four and there are a **_**lot**_** of twists and turns. I promise there will even be some flashbacks to get a little more of Season Three in there. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	67. Four Months of Ache

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Just gotta add an extra warning this chapter: there's some graphic torture in this one, just so you know.**

**Also it's SUPER angsty, and in Sam's, Lana's **_**and**_** Kate's alternating POVs and I wanted this up sooner but I've had some not so good days and keep getting distracted with other things to try and up my moods—the angsty writing really does help though, not gonna lie to you…I know I'm weird, but angst makes me happy.**

**And then one last thing: My Season Four is like 50 percent Eric's and 50 percent my own little thing…you'll understand why this first chapter.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Dean look a deep breath and it was pretty obvious that the breathing came hard to him—his chest was practically ripped to shreds and his blood was dripping down him. There wasn't anything I could do for him either—I just stood there, rooted to the spot unable to move or to speak. Alastair took the blade away from Dean's chest, done carving for a moment and then he smirked at him, shaking his head as Dean's whole body shook in pain, tears spilling down his face, but he wasn't cracking.

"All the pain…all that ache…you know you deserve it." Alastair told him with a nod, looking over his other torture implements and nodding as he found a whip.

Dean lifted his eyes to meet Alastair slowly. "Screw you."

"You didn't fight to stay alive…you didn't care about your family—you're just as selfish as your father." Alastair continued, turning to Dean and bringing the whip down and smiling at Dean's muffled cry. "She's better off without you…the ache, Dean…you can make it go away…you can deal the pain out yourself."

"Never." Dean told him firmly and then cried out as he felt the whip on his flesh again.

"Dean…" I managed to whisper, but it had just been a nightmare—just another nightmare about Dean in Hell.

The tears trickled out of my eyes as I lay there on my side of the bed, turning on my side to face the empty part of the bed next to me. Ever since Dean had died, every time I drifted off to sleep all I saw was Dean being tortured in Hell—Alastair punishing him…Alastair offering to let Dean off the rack if he just tortured souls himself…Dean refusing and being punished even more. It hurt me that he was probably enduring something so much worse than my nightmares—it hurt me that even in my dreams he didn't just give in and stop the hurt…why couldn't he just stop the ache?

I ran my fingers along the space of the mattress between mine and Dean's pillows, crying a little more because his side of the bed no longer smelled like him. He was gone, and it had only been two and a half months but…I just couldn't handle this and I had a huge decision to make. Bobby thought that I was losing it and wanted me and Johnny to move in with him, and I was considering it what with everything happening around me these days…what with all the drama that came after Dean died.

Sam and I decided that Dean was to be buried in a pine box—it was more my pushing than Sam's, but we both wanted him buried. We didn't have the heart to burn him, and though we knew Dean didn't want me to resurrect him (he'd made me promise several times that I wouldn't) we knew there was always hope he'd be brought back to life somehow…maybe with a crossroads deal. Then Lydia Grant had shown up and Kate had been on edge ever since.

Lydia was Jen's cousin—same kind of thing: half dark magic, half light magic. She didn't really do the whole 'hunting' thing, but she was a damn good 'psychic' and she made good money. She came when she heard about Dean's death, also there to check in on her second cousins, and she seemed to have her sights set on Sam. To make things worse, Sam had taken to drinking to get through the pain of Dean's death, and so Kate had a lot on her plate: a friend who wanted her boyfriend, a boyfriend who was grief stricken, and the return of Ruby in a brunette body—Kate had taken to calling her 'Demon Skank' instead of 'Ruby'.

On the Annie front, she spent more time in the house because Penn moved in with us, and so there were times I felt crowded—times I felt almost _suffocated_ by the love in the house. The good news was that Johnny was up and taking shaky steps on his own now and the bittersweet part of it was that he'd said his first word the other day too: Daddy. He missed his father almost as much as I did, and I just hoped that as the days wore on, I'd be more able to be the best mother I could be…it was just hard without Dean.

I decided to get up and go about my day the way I went about all of them: have nightmares about Dean, wake-up and cry a little, cry in the shower, go make some coffee, wait for Johnny to get up, make some breakfast, chat with Annie and Penn, feed Johnny, get a call from Bobby. Bobby was really rather sweet—he checked up on me every day just to make sure that I was doing all right and I tried my hardest to see him when I could. It was nice to have someone to talk to—to have someone there for me since Sam had left and Kate had followed him.

For a while Sam had tried to stick around, but mostly Sam had found that not being around Johnny made him not think about Dean so much. He had gone off to do his own thing and Lydia was encouraging him with the drinking and the revenge, which was tipping Kate over the iceberg of her emotions already. Add in that Kate had to deal with Ruby on a pretty normal basis now, and you have how hard it had been for her and why I didn't bother her with _my_ problems—she had _way_ too many of her own.

"I think I'm going to go live with Bobby…there's just too many memories here." I told Annie as she ate part of a pancake, Penn pouring himself some coffee. "I think it would be best for all of us, honestly."

Annie sighed a little and swallowed the pancake. "Really? You don't want to just…try and get through this with Penn and I?"

"Yeah, I'm a good listener. I mean I don't know what it's like to lose a husband to hellhounds, but…we're both here for you." Penn explained, sipping his coffee and smiling a little. "It's been nice feeling like a family."

"I appreciate it, guys—I do—I just don't think I can do this anymore. Ever since Dean died all I can do is picture him being tortured…the nightmares, the him not being there when I wake up—everything in this house reminds me of him. This was our first research session, the first place we slept together, where Johnny was conceived, where our first fight happened….it's too much for me and he told me to move on. He just…he told me to move on, Annie."

Annie just nodded and ate some more pancake as Penn drank his coffee, Johnny looking up at me with those eyes of his as I tried to get him to eat some applesauce. As many advantages as there were to staying here and staying put, the house was just tearing at my heart strings the longer I stayed and I needed to be strong—for Johnny's sake if not for my own. There was just too much at stake these days and I had to have my wits about me…I had to protect my son from the newest demon threats…the threats on _his_ life.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

I was more worried about Sam than I was about anyone else. Lana had Bobby and though I felt like I should be there for her more, I knew that out of Sam and Lana, Lana was the strongest one…Lana was the one with more people on her side to help her through Dean being ripped away from her. I had _promised_ Dean when he died that I would take care of Sam in his stead and so far I was failing miserably and it didn't even seem to phase him with Lydia around that I had my own problems to deal with.

"I think _someone_ had a little _too_ much to drink tonight and we know what kind of drunk _you _are, Sam Winchester." Lydia said with a laugh as they came into the motel room, Sam in a bit of a huff—he was definitely an _angry_ drunk.

I took a deep breath. "Out drinking again?"

"It's your girlfriend." Lydia told him, pointing to me as she flopped down on her bed and I shut the laptop, deciding that now wasn't the time to explain to them the research I had found.

Honestly, it was moments like this when I actually sort of _missed_ Ruby's company—and Ruby made me wanna gank myself. I understood that Sam was having a rough time and I wanted him to feel better, but I was starting to feel like I couldn't handle this anymore, and I felt like none of my problems mattered. There were so many things that I needed to talk to him about, but I wasn't going to unload to him while he was drunk—not while he was on such a downward spiral.

I had gotten a call that morning from my mother about my father and I had kept it to myself because Sam had been training with Ruby. Of course I'd been devastated to learn that my father had passed, but the second he was about finished up with Ruby, Lydia called me to tell me that she and Sam were going out for drinks and not to wait up. Few phone calls to Sam that he had obviously screened as he got plastered and I couldn't even cry about it because it didn't seem to matter. The only people I thought about talking to about it where Sam and Lana and they had their own problems to deal with.

"Find anything?" Sam asked me, the dark circles under his eyes making him look a lot more ominous than he was.

I shrugged and went to my duffle opening it up. "Why the Hell would _you_ care?"

"I think I care, Kate." Sam told me, anger in his eyes as he sat down on the couch.

"You sure _look_ like you fucking care." I shot at him, grabbing my pajamas and heading into the bathroom to change.

I heard Lydia sigh loudly because I knew she thought that I had a stick up my ass and honestly who could blame her for thinking that—that was how I acted the majority of the time. Besides, I'd been _incredibly_ cranky the last few weeks because a couple days after Lydia showed up, Lana and I had pregnancy scares but did anyone know? No…just me and Lana. Mine had been the scare because I knew I wasn't ready and I knew that Sam couldn't be bothered with that, but it was negative so it didn't matter—Lana on the other hand? She can say she doesn't want anymore kids all she wanted but her negative _killed _her…she wanted something else of Dean to hold onto.

Lately I felt like my whole relationship with Sam was a lie and I wanted out, but I couldn't leave him—not when he was hurting so much. I felt like I just wanted to sit down and cry but I couldn't…I couldn't do that. Sam needed me to be strong and I was trying to be, but it just seemed like the universe was against us—it seemed like the universe wanted us apart because it kept sending all those obstacles our way and I didn't know if I could handle anymore pain…anymore ache. I just wanted it all to go away.

"Lydia, just stop." Sam told her as I came out of the bathroom.

Lydia gave him a look. "I was just saying."

"I need to get some fresh air." I announced, grabbing my coat and pulling it tight across my chest. "Just…I'll be back when I get back."

I left before either of them could say anything else to me, and I walked outside in the crisp night air, looking at the puffs of air come out of my mouth. There was just so much I was holding in and I felt like I was going to explode if I didn't let it out, but how? There was no one I could talk to, nowhere I could run—I was stuck and I felt like there was just so much pressure…so much hurt. I couldn't take it anymore and I quickened my pace, going to the wall around the motel and beating it a little bit, sliding down to the ground and crying into my hands. Lana's death, Sam's death, Dean's death, my father's death—there was seriously only so much more that I could take.

"Pull it together, Kate." I sobbed out, but I just shook my head and kept crying.

I didn't care if someone found me there. I was holding too much in and even though I couldn't talk about it, I knew it was healthy to at least get all out by crying for what I had lost. If only Sam was sober…if only he knew what was going on with me. What if I just called Lana? Could I bother her with my tiny problems when she was still grieving over losing her _husband_? The _father_ of her _infant son_? Who could I turn to?

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

When I heard about Kate's dad I called her to talk to her about it and it seemed like the two of us had been keeping a little _too _much to ourselves. Talking to her only strengthened my prodding to make her _talk_ to Sam about everything that she was going through, and it made my decision for me—I was _definitely_ moving in with Bobby. It seemed to me that if Kate and I couldn't get our _own _lives in order, there was no point in trying to help everyone else with theirs.

I called Sam on the day that I was moving into Bobby's and I chewed him our for ignoring Kate so much. She had told me _not_ too, but he was still technically my brother-in-law and he was being a _colossal _dick and he needed to make things right. He'd let Kate all the way in and he'd made her believe that she was worth it, and yet she felt like she couldn't tell him anything—not about the pregnancy scare, not about her father's death—and if she couldn't do that, then they didn't really _have_ a relationship.

"There you are!" Bobby said as he opened the door, Johnny grinning at him from my arms.

I smiled too. "Hey, Bobby. I didn't bring much with us—just mostly clothes. I left the house to Annie, even though she knows that technically it's still my house since the deed's in my name and everything. Just in case, I've made it a habit to always have a back-up plan."

"Well of course." Bobby told me, grabbing my suitcase and then offering to get the rest out of the car for me. "I'm just helping you to get back onto your feet—I never assumed you'd want to stay here permanently."

"Thanks, Bobby." I said with a nod, kissing his cheek softly. "I really need this."

Bobby just nodded at me and then went to get the two other suitcases out of the car, Johnny squirming a bit because he wanted down. I set him down in the living room and then Bobby wanted to show me the room he'd let me use, and the spare room he'd made up as a nursery for Johnny the week before. It was so sweet of him to do all of this for us and I truly was grateful, Johnny holding my hand as we walked a little bit, letting go and heading straight for a toy as we toured the nursery.

"He's really into dolls—Dean would _hate_ that." I told Bobby, smiling sadly when I said it.

Bobby reached out and stroked my hair. "He would at that…you still having those nightmares?"

"Every time I close my eyes practically. When I sleep. When I nap—it's terrible. This morning I felt like it was really happening. There's a different tone now every once in a while—like someone's trying to reach out to me to tell me something." I said, smiling a little when Johnny played with the blocks in the nursery. "I think I just need to try and move past all of it…think about something else, maybe?"

"Baby steps, Lana." Bobby told me, kissing my temple and then pointing to the kitchen. "You hungry? I can whip you up something if you'd like."

I smiled at him. "I am actually a little hungry."

Bobby smiled at me when I said that and went to make me lunch, me playing with Johnny a little and smiling sadly when he called me 'Mommy'. It was less sad than him going saying 'Daddy', but I was still wishing that Dean was around to see these things. I kept all of it on tape, so if by some miracle he came back to us he could see, but it just wasn't the same and I knew it. Why did I have to lose Dean? Why?

I picked Johnny up and we went downstairs to eat with Bobby, all of us spending some time together and then I let Bobby play with Johnny while I went to take a nap. My whole body was exhausted and I was hoping that being in a new place would stop the nightmares, but I was wrong. The moment I drifted off to sleep, there I was with Alastair and Dean again, Dean's skin falling off of his bones practically, blood spilling out of his mouth—he was trying to breathe but he couldn't.

"The ache can stop…all you have to do is pick up my razor and cut." Alastair explained his voice deep and commanding.

Dean had tears coming out of his eyes, trying to talk but having to get past the blood in his throat. I wanted to go to him and tell him to just give in and make the pain stop, but what could I do? I couldn't move and I couldn't speak and Alastair went up to Dean and pressed his thumb to his Adam's apple, looking at him as Dean tried to speak. He just needed to say 'yes'…just say 'yes', Dean.

"What do you say, Dean?" Alastair asked him and Dean nodded, not able to form words in his condition. "You're making the right decision, you know."

With a wave of his hand, Dean was suddenly off of the rack and completely unharmed, tears in his eyes. Alastair was letting him off at such a huge price, and all Dean had to do now was cut to make the deal complete. He wasn't in pain anymore—at least not physically—but for some reason I felt like a monster was about to be created. How would Dean get through this? This was going against everything that he was and even though I was glad he was no longer in pain, this was going to scar him.

Suddenly there was a woman on the rack and Dean looked at her sadly, Alastair handing him his razor. Dean looked at it as the woman started to beg him not to do what he was going to do, and Dean wasn't listening. He had been taking so much and it was his turn to deal it out and even though he wasn't _entirely_ happy about this, he was willing to do whatever it took _not_ to be on the rack anymore. So I stood there, watching as he carved into her, listening to her cry out in pain while avoiding her eyes—he didn't want to see her in so much pain.

I opened my eyes and lay there on the bed, tears trickling out of my eyes and then I heard it—a voice. Normally I had time to just reflect on the dream and cry a little for Dean but not this time…this time I heard the most beautiful voice that I had ever heard speak to me. I didn't know what was going on, but I _did_ know that the voice was genuine and I sat up as the words filled me, letting me know that I was safe, and that soon…soon Dean would be safe too.

"I will raise him from Perdition." The voice explained to me, musical, deep and calm. "Your mind is plagued with pain for reasons you cannot yet understand, but soon it will all become clear. September 18th, go to his gravesite—sleep, Lana…drink it in and understand his pain."

I didn't know what to say, but I just listened—I just felt like everything was being set in motion for a reason. Fate was something I believed in so whole-heartedly, and if this beautiful voice said he was going to bring Dean back in a month, than he would…I had to believe that. I had to believe and I had to be ready when the time came to be there for Dean when Dean came back to me…Dean was coming back to me.

xxxx

**Sam's POV**

I honestly knew that Kate was upset about how things were going and that something was up with her, but I didn't know what to do. Dean's death had practically crippled me, and yet I knew that I was the bad guy here. I was running off with Lydia getting drunk and going to shooting ranges to let off some steam, training with Ruby to get my psychic powers under control, and I hadn't even _thought_ to make sure that in all of this, _Kate_ was doing all right. Dean was her friend, and by marriage he was part of her _family_, and I just—I was being an ass and she didn't deserve that.

"Katie?" I asked her, rapping my knuckles on the bathroom door and smiling at her sadly when she opened it up, her eyes red from crying. "Baby, I'm sorry."

Kate took a deep breath and ushered me in, closing the door behind her. "Lydia still sleeping?"

"Yeah, she is. What's up? I know something big happened because you've been in a funk." I told her, stroking her hair and smiling a little when she suddenly flung herself into my arms and buried her head in my chest. "Katie, I'm sorry I've been an ass."

"I'm sorry you've been an ass too." She said, laughing a little and then looking up at me with those beautiful eyes of hers. "There's so much to tell you and I don't even know where to begin."

I kissed her gently. "How about at the beginning?"

I knew that my drinking had been getting to Kate and I had stopped, Ruby needing me ready to practice my powers sober too. Lydia wasn't the happiest about it, but she was just glad that I was learning to channel my anger and focus on my abilities since mine weren't exactly passed down at birth—not technically. She was actually a damn good companion and we were lucky to have her as part of our team but we knew she wasn't going to hunt with us—she _hated_ hunting.

Lydia didn't like the idea of going from town to town killing for a living without pay. She liked to go to the theater and have a home to come back to every night and she liked to _enjoy_ life. There was something about running around pretending to be a whole bunch of different people and losing civilians before wasting creatures that didn't appeal to her—oh did we _all_ get _that_. She was lucky that she was able to stay 'normal' and that at the same time she was able to get through to people like me in times of crisis. I just wished that I had been a _lot_ more attentive of Kate because she had _needed_ me and I had failed her in the worst possible way.

"All right, well…remember that weekend like two months ago when Lana and I were _really_ upset but we were all passing it off as something ridiculous like the first time Dean called me you or something ridiculous and kinda cute like that?" She asked me, and nodded when I did, taking a deep breath and then continuing. "We both thought that we might be pregnant—we were both wrong."

I swallowed my eyes a little wider than before. "Wow…are you okay?"

"I was fine, actually. I _know_ that I am _not_ ready to be a _mother_ yet, so I was super but Lana? She was _devastated_. I know she kept saying how she couldn't handle it, but she wanted another kid with Dean—wanted it _bad_." Kate explained to me.

I nodded slowly and kissed her softly, letting her know that I was all right with anything that happened. Honestly I hadn't even entertained the idea of kids lately with everything that had happened and with everything that Lana was going through surely without Dean by her side and everything she went through while he was dying, but I couldn't help but feel partly disappointed. I was just half happy and half sad about it, and I knew that wasn't _all_ that Kate wanted to tell me. She'd been upset _recently_ as well.

"That's understandable." I told her, stroking her neck softly with my thumb. "I would have been okay with whatever outcome had happened."

She smiled sadly. "Thank you for that—I appreciate it more than you know."

"So why so sad recently? I've noticed the change and I just want to be here for you like you've been here for me. I know I've been a right pain in the ass and I know I don't deserve to have you, or to have you stick by me no matter what like you do and I want to make it up to you." I explained to her, wiping her tears away as they trickled out. "I want to be a person that you can _always_ come to talk to and I _know_ I need to make this up to you, and I _know_ it's going to take a while, bu—"

"—my Dad died, Sam." She choked out, cutting me off.

I was stunned for a moment, but then she started to cry and I just held her to me, kissing the top of her head and stroking her hair. There was absolutely _no_ excuse for me not being there for her when something _this big_ had happened to her, and I couldn't believe I had driven her to the point where she thought she couldn't come to me about something as big as this. I had to be there for Kate and I had to make sure never to lose it like this again—I loved her, and I was going to do anything for her no matter what…I was _not_ going to let her down like this _ever_ again.

"Katie, Baby, I'm sorry." I whispered, kissing her head again as I ran my hands along her back.

She nodded into me. "I know you are, and I am too. I should have told you all of this before."

"I don't blame you in the slightest for not coming to me before with any of this." I told her honestly, pulling back and wiping her tears away as I looked her in the eye. "I'm _never_ doing this to you again, you hear me? I love you, Kate."

"I love you too, Sam." She said sincerely, kissing me and keeping me close to her, letting me hoist her up onto the bathroom sink.

She wrapped her legs around me and pulled me close, kissing me and stroking my hair, letting me know that we were all right. I'd done a lot of damage, but we were both too far into this for either of us to stop trying and the fact that she still wanted to be close to me, meant more to me than she would ever know. Honestly I didn't know what I would ever do without her, and I knew that from that point on, she was my number one priority, and that even though Lydia had found us a hunt, I needed to take Kate home and dote on her the way any normal boyfriend would—she deserved to have _everything_ be about _her_ right now and I'm sure she knew that.

"I need a shower." Kate whispered softly, biting my bottom lip and making eye contact with me.

I chuckled at her. "Why, Kate Newman—are you inviting me to join you?"

"No, I'm pretty much _telling_ you to join me." She replied with a wink, and then just like that, she was undressing me—and I was letting her do whatever she wanted to do.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Turned out that the voice I had been hearing belonged to an angel—an angel by the name of 'Castiel' who was deep within Hell ready to bring Dean back to life. Something big was going down and I didn't know exactly what, but I knew that I had a place in it and that quitting, though something I wanted to do, there was no way I could when Dean came back. He was being brought back by _angels_…how do you refuse something that you've believed in for so long?

"You're _sure_ about this?" Bobby asked me skeptically as I fed Johnny, a blanket over me so Bobby didn't feel uncomfortable.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…I believe. There's just—I mean come on, you have to admit that it adds up. What about the whole angels pulling souls from Hell thing I found in that book? Trust me…this is the real deal."

"You know I trust you, Lana, I just—this is pretty interesting timing don't you think? Johnny starts showing signs of moving things already and suddenly angels are pulling Dean out of Hell?" Bobby asked, giving me a look and shrugging a bit.

I smiled at him and reached out to take his hand, knowing that he simply cared about mine and Johnny's safety. He had invited me to stay not just to get me back on my feet after such a devastating happenstance, but to protect me while I wasn't exactly myself—while I was weak. I loved him like a father, and Johnny had started to call him 'Grandpa', and as much as I knew he was just making sure I was being cautious, I needed him to have faith…I needed him to trust this like I did.

"What do you want me to do…summon him?" I asked Bobby.

Bobby sighed loudly. "What I want is for you to _not_ go alone to Dean's grave on the 18th."

"Bobby…you _know_ I need you here to look after Johnny and just in case it doesn't actually happen and I'm imagining _all_ of it, there's no reason to get _anyone's_ hopes up, is there?" I asked him honestly, Johnny taking his mouth off of my nipple so I could move him to the other breast. "I mean I know _my_ hopes are up, but there's no point in telling anyone anything else until we're _certain_ this is all happening and we have actual proof. I can take care of myself."

"I know you can, Lana, I just worry about you is all." Bobby replied, giving my hand a squeeze and then heading out of the room.

I smiled as he headed out, truly grateful for everything that he had done for me, but I was certain this was how it had to happen. I had to go to the gravesite just as Castiel had instructed, and I had to be there for Dean when everything went down. _What_ exactly was going to happen was a mystery, but I knew that Castiel was going out of his way to be there for Dean…to give Dean back to me. Honestly, I was in Castiel's debt, and if he truly did this for me, then I would never doubt him—I would just be more assured in my faith in God and his guardian angels.

So I spent the next couple of weeks getting ready for my little trip to see my husband when he was brought out of Hell, and Bobby let me do that. He and I spent a lot of time with Johnny and I kept in contact with Kate, trying to help her to work through her problems without telling her exactly what was happening with me. I still kept having nightmares, but now it was about what Dean was doing to the other souls—it was about what he was becoming.

The pain he was inflicting was no longer even phasing him and I knew that these nightmares weren't _just_ nightmares. Dean was changing and the sooner that Castiel got him out of Hell, the better as far as I was concerned—I just didn't want to lose him. I didn't want him to be so changed when he got out of Hell that there was no way that we could put a life back together. Obviously Hell was going to change him, but I was a little scared about _how much_ it was changing him.

The nightmares now consisted of me standing there watching as he tortured some poor soul (they were always different souls) and actually _smiling_ sometimes. Certainly there were souls in Hell that deserved the punishments that they were getting, but it went against everything that Dean was to be _enjoying_ the pain of others. Luckily him _doing_ the torture was far better than him _being_ tortured since he was a soul in Hell that _didn't_ deserve punishment like that, but I simply worried about my husband—I worried about whether or not Castiel was going to actually get to him in time.

Fact of the matter was that Dean and I weren't the same people that we had been when he died, and that Johnny wasn't the same little boy. Even if he _did_ come back, there was no guarantee that I would be getting my _husband_ back…there was no guarantee that the two of us would be able to share a life together. Dean would have a harder time than I had coming back to life because Castiel had been sure to explain to me that Dean would keep his memories of Hell—how was he supposed to live with those?

Practically every time that he closed his eyes, Dean would see Alastair or a soul that he tortured and it would haunt him. Knowing Dean he'd just pretend like nothing was wrong and keep things from Sam as long as possible, but he wouldn't be able to do that with me…he wouldn't be able to _hide_ from me. Thinking about that, I wondered if that was what Castiel had meant before—I wondered if I was _supposed_ to see all of this because I was supposed to be there for Dean to _confide_ in…to _talk_ to. It would certainly be a subject that would either tear us apart, or bring us closer together.

So on the morning of the 18th of September, I got up and I made sure that Johnny was all nestled in, still sleeping and I took a deep breath. Today was the day, and though I could have gone without seeing Dean do anymore torture, I knew that the nightmares weren't going to stop and I was starting to get used to them. I hoped that this was all just part of some much larger master plan and the nightmares would stop soon, but I honestly was starting to think that I was going to _keep_ having them, and that was going to drive me incredibly _insane_ someday. I had to hope though—the nightmares had _just_ been about _Dean_…there was a possibility that I had just had my _last_ one.

"There's always hope." I whispered, kissing Johnny's forehead and stroking his hair softly, nuzzling his nose with mine and then heading out of the nursery.

Bobby looked up from his book at the kitchen table and sighed softly. "You sure you want to do this?"

"I'm sure, Bobby—and I have all the necessary tools to make sure he's Dean _if_ he comes back, so…I'm off to get my husband back." I told him, pulling on my coat and kissing his cheek, heading out to my car and driving to Dean's grave.

**Note: I promise you that Dean is in the next one since you all know what happens Episode 1 of Season 4, haha. I just wanted to lay out a lot of information without laying out too much, which is why this chapter isn't exactly very long either. What do you think so far about what I'm setting up? Feedback is always appreciated!**


	68. Everything Has Changed

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay, the moment you've all been waiting for I'm sure, and I totally meant to write 18th, not 4th, so yeah…it's the **_**18th**_** of September, haha.**

**I had to make it wait a chapter because there was too much to explain last chapter and I didn't want **_**all**_** of it to be thrust upon you guys all at once, and there will be more revealed in "I Know What You Did Last Summer" that you didn't get yet.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

"I love you very, _very_ much Sam Winchester." I whispered to him, kissing him softly as we snuggled close under the covers in the motel room.

Sam smiled and stroked my hair. "I love you too, Kate Newman."

"We can get this back right?" I asked him quietly, kissing him gently. "I just feel like ever since Dean died…_everything_ has been falling apart."

"Baby, we're going to make it." Sam assured me, kissing me again. "I'm not going to let us fail."

I smiled at him and then I gasped when Lydia came into the room and sighed, putting her hand over her eyes, but peeking. Who _wouldn't_ want to see Sam's _amazing_ abs though? She told us to get ourselves dressed and Ruby came breezing into the motel room too and Sam and I just told them to get out until we were dressed. On the one hand I was marking my territory and I was glad about that, but on the other hand, Sam seemed like he had changed so much in that one little moment.

All of the loving mature was suddenly gone now that it was time to get down to business again. We were being sweet and calm and then Ruby and Lydia showed up and suddenly it was all about demons again. Honestly I didn't know why I was so upset because _I_ had been the one to suggest doing this to keep all of our minds off of everything. Hunting was a way of hiding and it made us feel like we were good people so _why_ was I suddenly thinking about a _normal_ life…_with Sam_?

"I think something's up." I told Sam as I fixed my hair, Sam smiling a little and buttoning up the buttons on _my_ shirt as we stood in the bathroom—it was always nice when he noticed I was upset and extended a hand to be sweet and accommodating.

He nodded slowly. "So do I. There have been a lot of signs lately."

"I meant with Lana, but yeah—that too." I admitted, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him tenderly. "I miss her."

"I do too…but she isn't opening up and she isn't answering her phone." Sam explained to me, stroking my hair. "I wish there was something else that we could do to help her."

I took a deep breath and nodded, kissing Sam one last time before we went out into the main part of the motel and started to go over things with Lydia and Ruby. There were things to be done and as worried as we were about Lana, Bobby and Johnny, there was so much that we had to take care of. Besides, Sam was getting better at controlling his psychic powers, and I knew that no matter what we did, he needed them to defeat Lilith…especially after what Lilith had said about Johnny.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I grabbed some coffee before I headed to the site, feeling jittery and knowing I shouldn't be drinking a lot of caffeine because I was still breastfeeding Johnny, but I need to calm my nerves and coffee did that for me. For some reason it made me feel safe, and when I got to the gravesite and looked around, I panicked a little bit—it looked like a bomb had gone off, and for some reason I wasn't sure what to do. I had been told to be here, and so I was here. I hadn't been told to bring anything, so I just brought my car and myself and then it happened—suddenly hands shot up through the ground and I screamed a little.

I hurried over to help Dean, using my powers to help move the dirt so he could breathe, and I tugged on Dean's hand, him gasping for air. He didn't talk to me or ask me what I was doing there he just let me help dig him out and then laid on the ground, his face pointed up towards the sun, the tears streaming down my cheeks. All I had had to do was believe and get myself here and here Dean was—he was alive again and he was with me, and I slowly reached out to stroke his cheek.

I looked him over, completely intact, and I could feel that my heart was being mended just at the sight of him breathing. It's just that I wasn't sure if I could love anymore and when Dean had said 'move on', I had never even considered opening up my heart to someone else romantically—I had thought he meant live my life and suddenly that whole inside of me felt like it was filled. As I ran my thumb along his chapped lips, he looked me in the eye, and I knew he was sad, and then he looked around at the gravesite.

"Let's get you some water, all right?" I asked him. "Don't talk, just…there's a gas station down the way."

I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wanted to ask me a whole series of questions, but I couldn't answer them. I had no idea why the Castiel had come to me of all people when I was sure there were other people more suited to be here when he got out—I mean I hadn't even thought to dig up his coffin so he wouldn't have to climb out of a grave. I knew how terrible that had been for me when I had to do it and I had never wished it on Dean—especially when he had so many more memories of Hell than I had visions of it.

"It looks deserted." Dean said his voice hoarse.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when he said it, and looked around—he was right. So I knocked on the door, and when no one answered and I tried it and it was locked, I told Dean to stand back, and kicked the spot of the door by the door knob, watching as it flung open. Honestly I could have used magic, but I knew that had made Dean weary in the past and I didn't want the first thing I did while he was actually paying attention to me and not on how to crawl out of the hole in the ground Sam and I had put him in, to be using magic I knew he disapproved of.

"Loot it as you see fit." I said, and Dean smiled a little for the first time since he'd seen me and my stomach did pleasant flip flops.

We went inside the deserted gas station, and Dean went to grab himself a water bottle, me looking around trying to make sense of it all. Here Dean was, alive and well because God had this master plan and Dean was part of it and he needed to be alive—that was what Castiel had explained to me. It helped Castiel to have me on his side, and I knew some of the hope was for me to convince Dean to do what it was that the angels wanted, but mankind had been blessed with free will—I wasn't going to force Dean to do _anything_ that he _didn't want_ to do.

"September?" Dean asked me as he looked at a newspaper.

I nodded slowly. "The 18th, and it's a Thursday…you were dead for four months."

"Three months longer than you were." Dean told me.

I just nodded again, not really wanting to see the look on his face right now. I had wanted him back so badly, but there were so many things he needed to know that I didn't have the heart to tell him. I turned around when I heard water running though, and smiled a little as Dean washed his face and then looked in the mirror after drying his face off on his button-up shirt. Then he pulled up his shirt and we realized that he had no marks on him—none…except for the hand mark on his shoulder. I stepped up next to him and reached out to touch it, Dean letting me. He even looked happy that he was getting physical contact from me for a moment or two that was more then the gentle, cautious grazing of my fingertips.

"Does it hurt?" I asked him gently, knowing that it was Castiel's mark.

He shrugged a little. "Not really."

I nodded and took my hand away, and then Dean went to grab some more supplies. I opened up my duffle so we could stow away some of the bottled water for the drive to Bobby's and then he put some chocolate bars in the duffle too which made me smile. There were so many non-perishable items for Dean to choose from to eat in the car and yet he had gone for the candy bars—there was still a lot about him that was the same and I was more grateful for that than anyone would know. He reached out as he saw an issue of _Busty Asian Beauties_, however, and I smacked his hand without so much as a thought…it was just a reflex for me.

"If you're going to take something, take something you actually _need_." I said giving him a stern look.

Dean smirked a little, and then went to grab the money out of the cash register. We stashed it in the duffle, and then the television started crackling. Dean went to switch it off, but then the radio started itself and I knew it wasn't demonic—it felt like Castiel to me, and I was used to feeling his presence by now. Dean immediately went for a package of salt, but I shook my head and took his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze before the noise got louder and more high-pitched to Dean, making him drop to the ground and cover his ears as the glass shattered. All I heard was Castiel's voice telling Dean not to panic, but Dean couldn't hear it…why was that?

"Let's go." I told him, taking him out of the gas station as the sound dissipated, Castiel knowing that Dean couldn't be reached right then.

I took him over to the car and then I tossed the duffle into the back next to the car seat, and Dean looked at it. A small, sad smile crossed his face and he looked directly at me, me knowing that a conversation was about to happen and a whole slew of questions that I was going to have to answer. So much had happened in the last four months and we both needed to know so much, but we only had so much time—I was supposed to get back to Bobby and check-in so he knew that I was safe, and I still had to make sure that not all of this was some elaborate demon's scheme.

"Before I ask how Johnny is, why isn't anyone with you? How'd you know I'd climb my way out? Did you do this? Did you make a deal? Am I resurrected?" Dean asked me slowly.

I smiled a little. "I didn't resurrect you because I promised you _several _times that I wouldn't, only Bobby knows I'm here and he's watching Johnny, I didn't make a deal and the whole story is kind of _really _complicated without the proof at _Bobby's_…and Johnny is actually doing really well—his first word was 'Daddy' and I have it on tape for you."

"I'm just going to take your word for it, Lanni." Dean explained to me, reaching out and stroking my hair. "God…it's good to see you."

"It's good to see you too." I said with a sad smile, leaning up on the balls of my feet and kissing him gently.

I hadn't actually thought about trying to be this kind of close to Dean this early in to him being alive again, but it had happened. When I pulled back, Dean shook his head and came back to me, kissing me softly, pulling me close and I almost lost it right there in his arms because that was just it—I was in his arms again. It felt like _forever_ since the two of us had been together, and the way I still fit right into him made a couple of tears leak out that Dean wiped away with his thumbs and then kissed my cheeks where the tears had landed before capturing my lips again.

"I love you." He whispered to me, brushing his nose against mine before resting his forehead to mine.

I smiled at him. "I love you too…that's why it's hard for me to ask you to go through a couple of tests before I take you to Bobby and Johnny."

"I honestly expect nothing less." Dean replied, running his thumb along my jaw line. "First scar of the new body goes to you."

"Oh, very funny." I told him, a smile on my face as I pulled out the knife and Dean handed me his palm.

It wasn't that I was squeamish about it, but I didn't want to cut into Dean's hand—it just didn't feel right. At the same time, without proper proof, I couldn't take him around his own son so I had to…and he bled but he wasn't reacting to the silver like a shape shifter or a revenant would. Then I had him try some Holy Water, and I tried to see if salt would affect him, and after _several_ tests, I just kissed him and smiled a little when he kissed me back intensely and I laughed lightly as he chuckled when we had to catch our breaths.

"Let's go see Johnny." I told him.

Dean nodded and ran his fingers through my hair. "I think that's a _perfect_ idea."

I nodded and kissed him gently, getting into the car and smiling when he got into the passenger seat. We drove all the way to Bobby's, stopping off to get some real food, and when we got there, Bobby was surprised. Dean showed him where I cut him with the silver and after a little bit of talking about how we needed to get proof of _why_ Dean was rescued from Hell, we went into the nursery, Johnny standing up as soon as we opened up the door.

"Daddy." Johnny said a grin on his face.

Dean almost looked like he was going to cry and went over to the crib, Johnny's hands outstretched to his father. I watched as Dean picked him up and held him close, Johnny snuggling up against him and closing his eyes, a soft smile on his face because he felt safe with his Dad. Johnny was definitely ready for a nap, but he wanted to be with his Dad and I was going to let him spend some time with him.

"Someone has been getting big." Dean told Johnny, running his hand over his head.

I just smiled and then went out to see Bobby, both of us realizing that Dean didn't have any idea yet about Sam and Kate. There was so much that I hadn't told Dean yet about what was happening with Sam and Kate because mostly we'd been talking about me and about Johnny and I didn't have the heart to bring up Ruby. I was never going to lie to Dean or keep anything from him again, but bringing up Ruby was a delicate thing—and bringing up Sam practicing his powers was a no-no because _Sam_ had to tell Dean that.

"What are you going to tell him about your angel theory?" Bobby asked me.

I took a deep breath. "I don't know…I just…I don't know. That isn't something that Dean will just readily agree with, you know. This is going to be hard, and I have to find the _perfect_ way to tell him."

"So…where's Sammy?" Dean asked, holding a sleepy Johnny who was refusing to nap because his father was there.

I smiled and told him that we could go to see him, Lydia and Kate, and then had to explain things as we all geared up to go. He knew that I had moved in with Bobby because Penn and Annie were living at our house, and he knew that Kate and Sam were still hunting together. At first he'd been upset that Sam and I had split up pretty much completely, but he was going to be all right with it as long as he could see Sam—so we went to go and do just that.

xxxx

Thankfully, Johnny fell asleep on the car ride over to see Sam and Kate who were in Pontiac, Illinois. When we got to the motel room, Ruby opened up the door and I saw Lydia lying on the bed closest to the door with her hands over her eyes and I wondered where Kate and Sam were. I just gave Ruby a look as she looked at Johnny who made a force field even though he was in my arms and I quickly reversed it because this was Sam's place—not mine and Dean didn't know.

"We're here to see Sam." I told her.

She gave me a look but I heard Sam go, "Lanni? Tell me you brought, Johnny!"

"Yeah, and, uh…a surprise." I replied as Ruby rolled her eyes and I resisted the urge to punch her in the face.

"Bobby?" Sam asked, but when he came to see us in the doorway, he saw Dean.

There was no reason to go through a whole lot of anything because Sam _knew_ I would be thorough before letting Dean around _Johnny_, but Sam was _flabbergasted_. Kate made her way to Dean and hugged him tightly, introducing him to Lydia and then introducing Ruby as 'Christie', and I just sighed—apparently Ruby was a secret. I _hated_ that, but again it wasn't my place…not unless she made it so that _Johnny_ was being threatened.

"But…" Sam began.

Dean smiled at him. "I know. I look fantastic, huh?"

Sam smiled too and the boys hugged each other, and I smiled a little at the brotherly affection as Johnny beamed. They missed each other, and Dean was just what Sam needed—especially now that I could see that while I was suppressing the demon inside, Sam was working with Ruby to unleash his and Kate was _helping him_. I just didn't understand _why_ she was _helping_ _Ruby_ when she _didn't trust Ruby_.

"So, are you two, like...together?" Ruby asked them.

I really wanted to tell her to stop being such an idiot and just tell Dean who she was, but then Sam went, "What? No. No. He's my brother."

I made a face at him because I hated that he was lying to my face—and especially to Dean's face—and Ruby nodded a little. Then Kate handed her, her jacket and told her to get out, Lydia waving as she left. I could stop keeping a handle on Jonny and let him back in control of his own powers and though upset with me and wanting his father, I needed to not be the one that made Sam come clean before _he_ was ready to do that.

"So…Lanni tells me that I have to wait until tonight to understand what went down—you in on this?" Dean asked Sam, holding Johnny who soon wanted Sam and Sam gladly took him.

Sam shook his head. "No, um…Kate and I haven't actually talked to Lana in like…"

"It's been about 3 weeks now." Lydia offered, popping a piece of gum into her mouth. "We've been hunting, she's been raising a kid."

"This about the ni—" Kate began, but I cut her off.

"—Everyone just give me time to explain when we get to my house all right? Annie and Penn went on vacation together for a little while—I'm expecting a proposal out of him—so the house is ours and everything will be explained, I _promise_." I said, trying _not_ to bring up the nightmares.

Everyone just nodded at me and then Sam explained that we all tried to get him back, and then Johnny said 'Grandpa' and everyone looked at him. I laughed loudly as Bobby blushed and went to hold him, telling everyone _not_ to make fun of him and Johnny started to play with his beard as Lydia and Kate began to pack, Sam handing Dean's necklace back and Dean putting it on.

"So you guys have been hunting?" Dean asked, looking at Kate and Lydia.

Lydia nodded slowly. "Yeah—I mean not me, I'm just here for moral support and I'm heading away once we get back to Lawrence now that you're back but uh, we've been looking for Lilith."

"We would have involved Bobby but he's been taking care of Lana and she's needed someone." Kate added with a shrug. "Besides…I didn't want Lana to feel like she needed to fight demons since she's powerful now."

"So this angel Lana says pulled you out—he's going to show tonight?" Bobby asked, shrugging when I gave him a look and shook my head, Dean turning to me.

Dean made a face. "_Angel_?"

"Okay, before you knock the idea, Bobby says I have a valid case and _he _believes me, and tonight I can prove it and there's other evidence that you and I should discuss _privately_." I explained to him.

Dean sighed loudly and then just nodded because he didn't know what was up with me, but he certainly didn't have any reason _not _to trust me. He simply took me at my word but I knew we'd argue later because he _definitely _thought this was the work of _demons _and since I knew Dean well enough to know that he didn't believe in anything he couldn't see, I had to make sure that Castiel showed and that he helped me to explain some things.

"Hey, Dean, what was it like?" Sam asked suddenly as everyone but me, him and Dean went to take things out to the cars.

Dean looked at him. "What? Hell? I don't know. I…I…I must have blacked it out. I don't remember a damn thing."

"Thank God for that." Sam told him.

"Yeah." Dean replied, but it wasn't convincing.

Sam took his things out to the car, taking Johnny with him and I swallowed because I had to say it. It didn't seem like the _perfect_ moment, but I needed Dean to understand that I was here when he _wanted_ to talk. I in _no_ way wanted to _force_ him to talk about it, but I definitely wanted Dean to know that I knew. I _needed_ Dean to know that I knew, and that his secrets were safe with me if he wanted them to be.

"When _you're_ ready to talk to me about what happened to you in Hell, I'm here." I told him not skirting around the issue.

Dean shook his head. "But I don't—"

"—I'd appreciate it if you didn't lie to me, Dean." I said quickly, cutting him off. "It's a long story but…I've been having nightmares about you in Hell. You on the rack. Alastair torturing you. Alastair giving you a choice. You torturing souls. You enjoying it—_every time_ I closed my eyes I saw what was happening to you and I just…you don't have to talk to me about it or to _anyone_ about it but do _not_ lie to me, Dean."

"Okay." Dean told me, and he took a deep breath and then went past me and I knew this was going to be hard for us to get past.

Dean didn't want me to have had to go through all of that and though he couldn't change it, it hurt him. Add in that now he understood why I believed what I believed and why I had reason to believe, and it was obvious that I had him more on my side now. He was willing to believe anything that I said as long as I had proof…so now I just needed proof.

xxxx

By the time we made it back to Lawrence, I told them we were going to have to meet Castiel later and they just nodded at me. Sam and Kate went to their room and Lydia went to Jen's because she was _Jen's_ cousin and she promised to keep in touch. Then Bobby went to the other guest room and Dean took Johnny to our room and I got some food together for everyone, Sam coming into the kitchen with me.

"I _hate_ that you're lying to him." I told him without turning around, knowing that it was just him and me.

Sam sighed loudly. "I have no choice, Lan—Dean practically _begged_ me with his _dying breaths_ to _not_ take my psychic thing any farther."

"I _know_ that, but they're _part of you_…and you shouldn't _lie_ to him." I explained to him, handing him two plates of sandwiches. "Take the one with less to Bobby and we'll talk tomorrow before Castiel shows, all right?"

"You really think he is who he says he is?" Sam asked me.

I nodded slowly and smiled. "I _told_ you that I have proof and we'll talk in the morning but right now I just…just give me this night to try and make sure that he's settled in."

Sam nodded at me and kissed my forehead before he took the sandwiches to Kate and Bobby and I went up with two sandwiches for Dean, one for me. I had a bottle for Johnny so that Dean could be the one to feed him, and when I walked into the bedroom, Johnny was pointing out pictures in one of his favorite books to Dean as Dean lay on his side, propped up on his hand, watching and smiling and narrating. He was _enthralled_ by his son and by how _quickly_ he was learning, and I was just glad to see the two together again.

"There's my boys." I said happily.

Dean looked up and smiled. "Mommy brought me a sandwich—you hungry, Johnny?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you? Johnny-Bear takes after _you_—he's _always_ hungry." I told him with a wink, handing him the plate and then the bottle.

"Thank you." Dean said, smiling at me since he was glad that I had anticipated that he wanted to stay as close to Johnny as possible.

I watched as he put the plate on the nightstand and I took my sandwich off of it, Dean cradling Johnny and feeding him via the bottle. Johnny was getting pretty sleepy, but he was hungry and he wanted his _father_ to feed him, and I was more than okay with that. The two of them had been separated for four months and though he didn't understand _completely_, Johnny knew that he had been _forcibly_ separated from his father and he liked being this close again finally.

So we all ate and then Dean and I played with Johnny a little, I did some dishes, and then Dean and I put Johnny to bed. He went down pretty easy, and when he yawned I heard Dean chuckle and then he pointed out that Johnny was one handsome little thing and then we went back to our room. The house was pretty silent, and Dean and I were finally alone again and we had a chance to talk…_if_ Dean wanted to.

"Wow." Dean told me from the bed.

I looked at him as I pulled my tank top over my head. "'Wow'?"

"I just…missed you." Dean said with a shrug.

"All of me, eh?" I answered with a wink.

Dean chuckled and rolled his eyes, holding me when I crawled into the bed with him and held him close to me. He didn't even understand just _how_ happy I was to hold him…to _hear his heartbeat_ thumping away in my ear. I wanted to be this close to him _forever_, and I wanted to be able to _talk_ to him…about _everything_.

"I'm sorry you had to see everything." Dean whispered to me as I turned off the lamp on the nightstand.

I smiled sadly. "Well so far I've gone back to dreaming."

"Still…I didn't want you to witness all of that." Dean explained, clearing his throat. "I don't know how you could even still love me."

"I'm never going to _stop loving_ you, Dean." I told him, propping myself up on my hand and stroking his chest through his t-shirt, running my bare legs along his under the covers. "Honestly I was rooting for you to take up Alastair on his offer because…because

I didn't want to see you in any pain that you didn't deserve anymore. God, that makes me such a terrible person."

Dean shook his head and kissed me. "Baby, _you_ of _all people_ are _not_ a _terrible_ person. There was not a day that went by that I didn't think about you, you know…not a single day. I swear I thought that by now you would have moved on because…I feel like I've been gone for forty years instead of four months—time went by differently down there."

I nodded and tried hard to keep the tears at bay, kissing him so that he'd close his eyes and not see the look on my face. If there was one thing I _needed_ right then, it was for Dean to feel like when he was with me, he was safe and he could _talk_ to me. Dean didn't like to talk to me about things that hurt me and I was hurt—how could I deny that? He had spent _forty years_ _in Hell_ and I couldn't save him. I had been up here experiencing our son and living even though I was sad and Dean was being tortured…he was feeling like he was losing his humanity by torturing other souls.

"I've missed you so much." I told him, stroking his hair and running my nose along his. "I love you so much…and I could _never_…move on from _you_."

Dean kissed me again and ran his hand down my face, down my arm, down my side, resting his hand on my hip. He was so freshly out of Hell and I didn't want to just take him right then and there no matter how much he seemed to want it right then and there. What if this was temporary? What if what Dean was _really_ brought back for meant he did it and then he went back to being dead? How could I get _this_ close to him again without knowing if this was a forever kind of deal or not?

"You're thinking too much." Dean whispered to me.

I smiled a little. "Yeah…yeah, I know, I just…what if this doesn't last?"

"Then we should take advantage of the moment." Dean replied, bringing my hip closer, pressing his body against mine.

"How romantic." I whispered and then I gave in and kissed him as he moved against me softly.

It had been four whole _months_ without him and I'd been celibate since the last time he and I had slept together like this. We both knew what to do, and when he started making jokes and whispered that he had been 'rehymanated', I really couldn't _not_ take him to be honest. So the two of us removed each others clothes and I felt him hot between my legs, cupping his face with my hands both of us breathing at the same quick pace.

Next thing I knew, Dean was pushing his flesh inside of mine and as we both adjusted to the feeling that we were _finally_ this kind of close, Dean ran his nose along mine. We set a pace together, holding each other close and showing each other with actions how much we loved each other instead of with words, reaching our breaking points together. Our voices mingled as we cried out, riding out the waves of pleasure and then Dean pulled out, holding me close, stroking my hair. He kissed my temple and I stayed close to him, a big grin on my face—we still had it.

"Why did you really move into Bobby's?" Dean asked me, still trying to catch his breath.

I smiled sadly and traced shapes in his sweat on his chest. "Isn't it obvious? This is _our_ house, Dean. _Our_ house, _our_ room, _our _bed, _our_ memories…I mean this is where it all began for us and where Johnny was conceived—I couldn't handle being here _without_ you. So I moved in with Bobby because he offered, because I need someone, because I love him like a father, and because this is _our_ home…and I can't live in it when you're _not_ with me."

"I understand." Dean whispered, kissing my head and then my lips when I tilted my face up, our eyes meeting. "I love you, Lana."

"I love you too, Dean." I replied, kissing him again and then climbing on top of him. "My turn."

Dean chuckled, his chest rumbling against mine. "I would have been worried if you hadn't taken over."

"Things aren't _that_ different." I assured him with a gentle laugh, both of us knowing that just for right then, _everything_ was _perfect_.

xxxx

Waking up to Dean was honestly the best morning I had had in a _very _long time. There was no way that I was _ever _giving this up, and I knew that if I was just simply quiet, Dean would keep sleeping a little longer. It felt like a lifetime since I had gotten to watch him sleep, and there was no man more beautiful than Dean Winchester—not according to me that is.

"You're watching me." Dean whispered, his eyes still closed.

I laughed a little and kept my naked body against his. "Yeah, guilty as charged."

"That's a little creepy, don't you think?" Dean asked me.

"Nah, I think it shows how devoted I am to you." I explained with a small laugh.

Dean chuckled and returned the kiss I pressed to his lips, holding me close and letting me climb on top of him, glad to feel him like this again. It wasn't the sex either—it was simply the fact that we were this close again and things seemed _right_…even though we both knew _everything_ had changed. He remembered Hell, I had seen Hell, we were both parents…everything was different and yet we could still _love _each other like this.

"Good morning." I whispered, running my nose along his and giving his lips a loving peck as he opened his eyes and stroked my hair.

He smiled at me. "Good morning…you really don't know how nice this is."

"I was going to say the same thing to you." I replied lying down there right on top of him, snuggling against him as he held me, my forehead in the crook of his neck.

He just nodded and ran his hands along my arms, me running my fingers along his pecks. The two of us just lay there in silence enjoying the closeness until Johnny woke up and we both had to get dressed. Then we got him breakfast and spent the whole morning with him just the three of us until lunch. I hung out with Kate to catch up with my darling cousin, and Dean had Johnny and Sam out at a diner before we all congregated back together and had to put Johnny down for a nap—we had to get ready to face Castiel.

"The demons are scared." I explained to everyone as the four sat at the table with me. "Castiel is an angel and the fact that we now have an angel on our side is making them run scared."

Kate nodded slowly. "That would make sense—a being powerful enough to drag a soul out of Hell has _got_ to make the demons go running. You really did your research."

"You really did." Dean agreed, reaching his hand up and stroking my hair. "I'm not going to be _fully_ convinced until I see this 'angel' with my own eyes though."

"Well of course not." I replied with a laugh, looking at him. "You're one of those 'seeing is believing' kind of guys."

Dean smiled at me and nodded, all of us setting up for Castiel that night because just in case I was wrong and I had been led astray, we had to be prepared. Everything was all planned out and perfect, and then Kate and Sam disappeared and instead of them watching Johnny, Bobby was going to have to. I was worried about what was going on with Kate and Sam, and it worried me even more, thinking over mine and Kate's talk that afternoon.

"_So what's going on around here, Kate?" I asked her, taking a deep breath._

_Kate took a deep breath. "What do you mean exactly?"_

"_I just keep sensing the tension between you and Sammy." I told her softly._

_Kate smiled sadly and leaned on the kitchen counter, taking a deep breath and then shrugging. The two of them were pretty happy together I knew that, but at the same time there was so much going on that I felt like it was ripping them apart. By the look on Kate's face, she was thinking the same thing, and I didn't know how to help her because I didn't know what to say._

"_Sometimes I feel like things are getting out of control, I admit it." Kate told me, sipping some coffee. "I just…I feel like we aren't the same people anymore."_

_I nodded slowly. "That's because none of us __**are**__. Dean died and we all changed—even __**Dean**__ has changed."_

"_Well he was in Hell." Kate said and then she shook her head. "I don't trust Demon Skank. I mean Lydia I trust even though she wants Sam, but Demon Skank?"_

"_If her nickname from you doesn't tell me something, then I don't know what does." I told her laughing, and then I hugged her. "If you __**don't**__ trust her, Kate…then why do you let her anywhere __**near**__ the man that you love?"_

_Kate sighed and her voice was sad as she spoke. "Because the man I love __**believes**__ that she can help us…and I trust __**him**__."_

_I nodded and kissed the side of her head, both of us holding each other close because that was all I needed. They were in love and things were hard, but if they were meant to be than this was just __**one**__ hardship that the two of them were going to have to go through. All I knew was that I was certain that Kate and Sam were meant to be…and they would find their way to each other in the end._

"Well this is working out…it's working out perfectly." I sighed, sitting in the living room with Dean and smiling a little when he ran his nose along my neck. "I really don't think that I can ever be away from you again."

Dean smiled and pressed his lips to mine gently. "I'm glad to hear that—I'm not ever going anywhere again."

"I believe you…now let's summon Castiel." I told him softly, stroking his face.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

I took a deep breath as Sam exorcised the demon in the diner with his mind and I sighed loudly when I felt Ruby near us. Personally I didn't see a problem with Sam exercising his powers because we needed to find and kill Lilith—that was the main goal and if Sam had to be stronger to do that, then so be it. The thing that pissed me off beyond belief, was that Ruby thought that she had to be around _all of the time _when I could help Sam to exorcise his potential instead…it wasn't like I couldn't help him _without _her.

"Getting pretty slick there, Sam. Better all the time." Ruby told him.

Sam turned to her. "What the Hell's going on around here, Ruby?"

"I wish I knew." Ruby replied sighing.

"Lana seems to think it was an angel, but Dean thinks it was a high level demon that pulled his soul out of Hell." I explained to her, keeping in between her and Sam.

She looked at me. "Human souls don't just walk out of hell and back into their bodies easy. This guy bleeds, the ground quakes…it's cosmic. No demon can swing that. Not Lilith…not anybody—and if Lana is somehow part of this…if her theory is right…we're in for something _big_."

I took a deep breath and nodded, looking at her and then biting my lip as she looked from me to Sam. No matter what it was that I did, or what it was that I said, Ruby and Lydia _both_ had a habit of cutting me out to talk to _Sam_…to _be with Sam_. Why was it that I felt like I was _losing_ him? Why did I always feel like no matter what I did, now that Sam was feeling like he had all of this power, I was just not part of his life anymore?

"So, million-dollar question. You gonna tell Dean about what we're doing?" Ruby asked him.

I held my finger up. "Okay, you do _not_ have to be part of this '_we_' business, so shut the Hell up. As for Dean…Sam and I are waiting for the right moment because what you don't seem to understand is that none of us like you."

"He's gonna find out, and if it's not from you guys, he's gonna be pissed." Ruby explained, shaking her head at me, Sam holding my hand as I took a small step towards her.

"Oh, he's gonna be pissed anyway. He's so hard-headed about this psychic stuff he'll just try and stop us." Sam told her and then looked at me. "Besides…we're _saving_ people and since I don't know if I even trust you or not, Ruby…maybe it would be best if Kate took over this training."

Ruby raised her eyebrows. "Yes, because she can do this."

"Get out, Ruby." I told her plainly, holding my hand out and threatening to exorcise her, but she left and then I turned to Sam. "We have to talk to Dean about this soon—I don't know how long Lana will let us keep this secret before she cracks."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"You sure you did the ritual right?" Dean asked me losing patience and I shot him a look. "Sorry…touchy, touchy huh?"

I rolled my eyes and then one of the light bulbs popped. "That's him…and he owes me a light bulb."

Just then, a rather attractive man in a trench coat with piercing blue eyes came into the room and the wind whipped around us a bit. He was beautiful and he was powerful, and I smiled a little because it was nice to put a face to the voice. This was Castiel and he was here because I had called him here—because he needed to speak to Dean. I was hoping that I would be able to _finally_ have _all_ of my questions answered about what exactly was going on here.

"Who are you?" Dean asked him, holding the gun up to protect him and me from Castiel if Castiel in fact turned out to be a demonic force.

Castiel looked directly at him. "I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."

"Yeah…thanks for that." Dean said and then looked at me as I took a step forward.

"So you're Castiel then?" I asked him.

He nodded and looked at me. "I am."

"Yeah, we figured that much but _what_ are you?" Dean asked him.

Castiel looked back at Dean as I sent him a look because even though I knew Dean, at the same time that seemed to me like a questions with an obvious answer. All of my research had paid off and here was an angel right in front of us and I wanted to know what he had to say. Sure we had called him here to talk to him because Dean wanted a confrontation, but I didn't want any fighting to go down…not right now.

"I'm an angel of the Lord." Castiel explained to him.

Dean shook his head. "I'm not believing that."

"This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith—it's part of why you need her." Castiel told him, and in a moment of light, big black wings spread behind him.

"How is it that I could hear you in the gas station and Dean couldn't?" I asked Castiel quickly, Dean stunned by Castiel's wings and trying to take it all in.

He wasn't sure exactly what he did and didn't believe right then and I couldn't blame him. Dean didn't believe in things he couldn't see and even though he had _just _seen Castiel's wings, he still wasn't _completely _convinced. He wanted _so badly _to believe in something as amazing and beautiful as angels, but something was holding him back.

"That was my mistake. Certain people…special people…can perceive my true visage. I thought Dean would be one of them. I was wrong." Castiel explained and looked at me. "You, however…you I knew could hear me."

"Thank you for getting through to me about the visions of Hell." I told him.

Dean swallowed as he looked back and forth between us and then looked at Castiel. "And what visage are you in now, huh? What…Holy tax accountant?" Dean asked him.

Castiel looked down at his body then up again, tugging on the clothes a little. "This? This is…a vessel."

Dean scoffed at him. "You're _possessing_ some poor bastard?"

"He's a devout man. He actually prayed for this." Castiel replied calmly.

I reached out and rested my hand on Dean's shoulder as he got a little more tense, trying to believe. It was hard for me to see him struggle like this because he wanted to believe but he couldn't…not yet…not without _more_ proof. And Castiel? Castiel was starting to get more and more upset with Dean not buying what he was saying.

"Dean, Baby…he's an angel." I told him softly.

Dean nodded skeptically. "Right…and why would an angel rescue me from hell?"

"Good things _do_ happen, Dean." Castiel explained peacefully.

Dean shook his head. "Not in my experience."

"What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved. Lana thinks you do—isn't she the good in your life? Doesn't her opinion matter to you?" Castiel asked him.

Dean looked him in the eye. "Why'd you do it? Why'd you pull me out? Did Lana ask you to do it?"

I suddenly realized that Dean was having so much trouble believing because he thought that he didn't _deserve_ this. He thought that this was something that someone who loved him had done for him and in a way it _was_—an _angel_ pulled him out which had to prove God's love on some level didn't it? I just didn't understand why Dean never felt like he deserved _anything_…because he deserved so much _more_ than he understood.

"I did it because God commanded it. Because we have work for you." Castiel explained to him, Dean looking at him hard with disbelief, me swallowing—this was big.

**Note: As you can see I have changed storylines a **_**lot**_**, but I hope you guys like it anyway! The next chapter will be kind of…dramatic and angsty with some fluffy moments, and remember that I always like to know what you guys want to see and such. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	69. No Time to Settle Back In

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This is **_**SO HARD TO WORK ON AFTER THAT DAMN FUCKING FINALE**_**!**

**That being said, here is another chapter and I hope you enjoy it and there's a smut warning attached to this one but it isn't really a warning, cause nothing is super descriptive, there's just a couple instances of initiation. ;P**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

The minute we got Bobby up after Castiel left, we started to do some more research just so that Dean would satisfied—in fact we spent three _days_ trying to satisfy him with all of the facts that we had. He really couldn't argue with any of the information that Bobby and I were giving him, but at the same time he was Dean—he was Dean and he didn't believe he _deserved _this. It wasn't that Castiel was an _angel_…it was that Castiel had saved _Dean_…that he had saved Dean because _God _had _plans_ for _Dean_.

"Look, all I know is I was not groped by an angel." Dean said pointedly.

I laughed a little. "Hate me all you want for thinking that would be a little hot but come on, Dean…he's immune to all of the demon tests so he's _not_ a demon. Just—can't you just believe in angels?"

"Don't you think that if angels were real, that some hunter somewhere would have seen one…at some point…ever?" Dean asked me.

"Yeah…_you_ just did, Dean. He's been there for Lana for months now apparently and he's been _helping_." Sam told him.

Dean made a face. "I'm trying to come up with a theory here. Okay? Work with me."

"Dean, we _have_ a theory." Kate protested shrugging. "We have an angel who took you out of Hell and the least you could be here is thankful."

"You know what, you guys discuss this, and I'm going to go and figure out some things…I'm going to go and take care of some things." I explained to them as Dean gave Kate a look.

I felt bad just leaving the room, but I was kind of done with the whole conversation. All I wanted was to make Dean on board with the angel thing and to finally feel like this was what he deserved. Besides, I was kind of feeling like I needed to talk to Jen because while Kate and I had been dealing with our pregnancy negatives…Jen was in a _completely _different boat and I was _beyond _ecstatic when I pulled out my phone to talk to her and _she _called _me_.

"Hey, Jen! We haven't talked in a little while." I told her.

She laughed a bit. "Yeah I know—we've both been busy. I was calling because word on the block is that angels pulled Dean out of Hell."

"Yeah but he's not _completely_ convinced of that yet…he's just in shock right now because Hell is still so fresh with him and I don't know how to get through to him. I mean he's still my husband but at the same time…at the same time we're not the same two people who we were before and I'm a little worried that—you know what? Never mind. Speaking of husbands…how is Kevin and baby number 3?"

"Baby number three is loved even though I know I wasn't on board with baby number three at all—and baby number three is still unnamed." Jen admitted with a soft laugh. "Kind of wishing being pregnant didn't mean more morning sickness—good news in all of this is Kevin's getting a vasectomy this week so no more babies for us. I am _so_ done."

I laughed at that and just nodded, knowing that Jen had only wanted two kids and she hadn't wanted twins. She had a _very_ simple life plan: fall in love, get married, have a kid. When said was about five, have one more—preferably a girl and a boy—and then that was it. Raise kids, further career, flourish…it was all she had wanted. Instead she'd fallen in love, gotten married, lost her husband, got him back, had twins and then been blind-sighted by _another_ pregnancy and she was ready to just enjoy her normal life.

I smiled and nodded. "Boy or girl?"

"No idea and I don't want to know until baby number three is born." Jen said with another laugh.

I laughed too. "So you just call it 'baby number three'?"

"Pretty much." Jen said and I knew she was smiling and nodding. "I just…I wanted to call and see how you were holding up. Go talk to your husband, Lan—tell him how much you missed him and how much you love him and the two of you need to spend some more time with Johnny. You have him back and you aren't having the nightmares anymore and I just…I want _you _to be _happy_. I love you."

"I love you too, Jenny. We'll talk soon." I promised, and we hung up.

I took a deep breath and then I went back into the room in the middle of the conversation the others were having. It seemed that they were about in the same place they were when I had left and I took a deep breath because I was trying to deal. All I wanted was for us to be on board with angels and to get Castiel back to explain to us what he had meant before since he had left so abruptly.

"Why me? If there is a God out there, why would he give a crap about me?" Dean asked them, giving them all looks.

"Dean …" Sam began slowly.

"I mean, I've saved some people, okay? I figured that made up for the…for the stealing and the…the ditching chicks. But why do I deserve to get saved? I'm just a regular guy." Dean protested.

Sam nodded slowly. "Apparently, you're a regular guy that's important to the Man upstairs."

"Well, that creeps me out. I mean, I don't like getting singled out at birthday parties much less by…God." Dean said, pausing before saying the word.

"Okay, well, too bad, Dean, because I think He wants you to strap on your party hat." Sam said shrugging.

Dean looked at Sam and Bobby. "Alright…I need to take a walk and Sammy? You're gonna get me some pie."

I smiled sadly and took a deep breath as he went past us, Kate putting her head in her hands and Bobby running his hand down his face. He adjusted his baseball cap as Sam rustled his hair and I closed my eyes and bit my lip. The four of us were worried about Dean and we were worried that his little walk was going to make him think _too_ much and come back and possibly suggest something rather rash.

"I'm going after him." I announced suddenly.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

Bobby, Sam and I watched as Lana grabbed her coat and hurried out, Bobby glancing at the baby monitor. Johnny's music was playing but he was still sleeping and off ran his parents to talk things over. I understood _why_ he was freaking out, but I also felt like he needed to give his wife more credit. Then it hit me—Lana was the best one out of all of us to get through to her husband.

"I think this is all the research we can get out of _this_." I explained to Bobby and Sam. "The only other thing that I can think of to research is _why_ an angel would want Dean to do work—I mean what _kind_ of work? What does God want him to do?"

Sam reached out and ran his fingers through my hair. "I think we can figure that out in a little while—we should wait for Castiel to come back and talk to us all."

"I agree with this." Bobby said with a nod. "I'm going to go out and run some errands, but I'll be back."

I smiled at him and nodded, heading to the kitchen and grabbing some coffee, going back into the living room to find that no one was there. The baby monitor wasn't even on the coffee table anymore and so I headed into the nursery and Johnny was still sleeping, so I decided there was only one other place Sam could be. I headed to the room that Lana and given to Sam and I and there he was on the bed, hands behind his head with the baby monitor on the bedside table just in case.

"_Someone_ thinks he's gonna get lucky." I said with a smile on my face I couldn't contain.

Sam shrugged, and closed his eyes. "Maybe I just wanna rest here."

"Oh, yeah…I'm _sure_ it's just _that_." I told him laughing, crawling onto the bed with him and pressing my lips to his.

He smiled into it and slid his fingers into my hair, pulling his lips away to apply them to my jaw line. I smiled and ran my hand down to the bottom of his shirt, Sam sitting up a bit and letting me pull his shirt off and toss it onto the floor. Then I ran my hands down Sam's amazingly toned torso and slipped my hand into his pajama pants as he bit my neck, smiling a little.

Every time we touched it was perfect, and even when we weren't trying to make things escalate sexually between us, we simply fit. Honestly I didn't know what my life would be like _without_ Sam and all of the love and support he had been giving me, and when he went to pull my shirt off, I simply held my hands up and then returned my hand to his pajama pants as he tossed the shirt aside. We knew each other well enough by now to know how these encounters were going to go.

"I'm glad we're mostly put back together." I whispered to him, laughing a little as I tugged on him a little and he pressed his lips to mine, holding back a moan.

I ran my thumb along his skin as he rolled his hips up against my hand and I kissed him back hard. He pulled my hips against his and went to get his pants off, leaning his head back against the pillows as I proceeded to gain the upper hand. However our fun was cut short when a loud knock sounded and a voice called out, Sam and I looking at each other and locking gazes, neither of us wanting to stop.

"Bobby called about some research?" Lydia asked through the door.

"Two seconds." I told Sam quickly.

I got off of him and pulled Sam's button-up shirt on, only buttoning the button that made the shirt cover my bra. Then I shimmied out of my jeans and opened up the door, marking my territory whether I should have been focusing on that or not. Sam Winchester was _my_ boyfriend and he was the man that _I_ loved, and Lydia wasn't allowed to have him…he was all I had and I wanted to be with him.

Lydia nodded at my ensemble. "Looks like you two aren't researching at all."

"Not at the moment—we're a little researched out but we'll be willing to do some in a little while." I explained to her.

She smiled a little and then just nodded again. "Have fun, but not _too_ much—bye, Sammy!"

I shut the door as she turned to leave and looked at Sam, a look on my face that he understood. He knew that I was upset that Lydia wanted to talk to him but why was I so jealous in the first place? Why? I had him and he was making it _so clear_ to me that he was going to be here for me, so why was I upset? Why was I feeling like I had to mark my territory when he wasn't even straying?

"Baby, just come here." Sam told me.

I could tell from his voice that he was still _very_ in the mood, but at the same time he wanted to comfort me and his finger slid into my hair the moment I sat on his lap. He kissed me softly and then used his free hand to slip the button out of the button hole, me slipping the shirt off and just nodding into him. Then I helped him out of his pants and I rocked myself against him, both of us enjoying the friction and nibbling and gripping the other's skin and limbs, ignoring the rest of the world and focusing on each other.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I knew that I had to follow Dean because honestly there wasn't much I could do here without him on board. This was hard for him and he _wanted _to be on the same page as me faith-wise, but he just didn't have any _reason _to be. He whole-heartedly believed that he didn't deserve any of this and he wouldn't be Dean if he didn't think that way—I just wished he would think _more _of himself.

"Dean?" I asked as I hurried after him.

Dean took a deep breath but didn't look directly at me. "What could God possibly want with _me_? I mean of all people—of all the souls in Hell that could have potentially not deserved to be down there—he picked _me_…and he made you see what was going on down there!"

"You needed to have someone to talk to. Honestly? Honestly I'm glad I could see it." I admitted to him with a shrug. "You're never going to have to go through any of this alone and I'm truly grateful for that."

"I don't want to talk about it." Dean told me, taking another breath.

I nodded and then went to stand in front of him, reaching up and wrapping my arms around his neck. He looked down at me and kissed me softly, the kiss sad and full of questions but he didn't want to talk about anything. He didn't want to have to deal with anything that had to do with Hell and I wasn't going to push him—we would talk about it when _he_ was ready…they were _his_ scars and I could wait to discuss things until he _wanted_ to discuss them.

"I'm always going to be here—no matter what, forever." I told him as our lips parted and he leaned his forehead on mine. "You told me to move on and I couldn't…I just couldn't see my life without _you_ in it and now I have you back I'm never letting you go and we're doing this on _your_ time, Dean. No matter what happens or what needs to be said, I'm not going anywhere…you're sort of kind of stuck with me, Dean Winchester."

Dean smiled a little. "You know…I still wonder why in the world you fell in love with me. You deserve a better life than this."

"There's no life I could have that I would _want_ as much as this life that I have with you." I promised him, kissing him tenderly. "I love you…I love you and all of this is going to work itself out. If God wants you to do something for him then you'll do it and we'll get through it together."

"Promise you won't leave?" Dean asked me.

I smiled and kissed him again. "Promise."

Dean nodded and returned the kiss, pulling me close and cupping my face, motioning to the sidewalk. I smiled and nodded, taking his hand and walking with him down the sidewalk, both of us silent as our fingers intertwined. The two of us were simply able to have moments like this and it was nice because there were times that I missed just being close to him—just being able to stand or sit or lie in silence with him.

He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed my hand, running his lips against my fingertips and pulling me close. I just smiled and walked along with him, tugging on his hand when we got back to the front door of the house and he paused. Closing the space between us I kissed him, and then I took a hold of his jacket and looked him in the eye wanting to say one more thing before we rejoined the rest of the world inside.

"Tomorrow is a play date for Johnny with Kaydence and Minah." I explained to him. "Will you come? Normally Jen and I just hang out while the kids play, but uh, Kevin has the day off tomorrow and I bet he'd _love_ to see you again and I…I don't have the heart to cancel because Johnny really enjoys getting to hang out with his pseudo cousins."

Dean smiled and stroked my hair. "You went and got all normal on me."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment because I knew how you meant it." I told him.

We both laughed a little and he kissed my lips swiftly, both of us heading into the house to do some more research. Even though we probably should have been getting some sleep, it wasn't night yet and none of us were tired—except Johnny who was already in bed. All that mattered right now was making Dean feel more at ease, and that meant looking at _all_ of the information…that meant explaining the last four months of dreams to him…

xxxx

**Sam's POV**

I took a deep breath, my eyes closed, listening to the whir of the computer behind me as I laid there on my side. Then I heard the _distinct_ sound of typing and I turned over, looking at Kate as she lay there on her stomach. She had an extra sheet around her to cover her beautiful naked body, and she was definitely researching—with us this happened quite a _lot_.

"Why do you always research right after our cuddling stops?" I asked her with a soft chuckle.

Kate smiled a little but kept looking at her laptop screen. "Because _someone_ always solicits when we're _supposed_ to be researching."

"You just get so cute when you're focused on a hunt I can't control myself." I teased, running my fingers through her beautiful red hair.

"Oh really? Well in that case we have a little more time…" She told me with a wink, closing her laptop and setting it on the floor.

I just chuckled and nodded, kissing her when she kissed me and started to get the extra sheet off of her as she did. She loved me very much and I missed the moments with Kate that were simply loving and playful—I missed the moments where she didn't feel like she was trying to _keep_ me. I wasn't romantically interested in Ruby or Lydia and I knew she was worried about that, but she shouldn't have been.

Kate Newman was the woman that I loved. At first it was hard to let her into my heart no matter the amount of flirting, but she was there and I didn't want her to _not_ be there. She was my sunlight and no matter how bad things got, she was _always_ there for me, supporting me and trying to help me through it. I loved her…I simply _loved_ her.

"I love you." I told her softly. "I just want you to know that."

Kate smiled at me and ran her nose along mine. "I love you too, Sammy…enough to let you make that stupid practice with Ruby."

"Okay that is _not_ why I just told you that I love you." I said with a chuckle, kissing her tenderly and cupping her face, enjoying the feel of her skin against mine.

"I know," She said nodding, kissing me again, "but I also know that you want to be better at it so you can save more lives and we all set up the 'appointment' so it would be rude to bail…even if I don't care about being rude towards _her_."

I nodded and kissed her. "All right…thank you, Katie—you're always there for me and I just want you to know that you mean a _lot_ to me…a _lot_."

She nodded and smiled, kissing me softly and then getting up. I watched her as she got dressed, smiling at her fondly and merely chuckling when she rolled her eyes and said a witty remark and then I got up myself. I caught her hand as she tried to head out of the room to grab her jacket and I pulled her to me, kissing her gently. She whispered that she loved me and then grabbed a hairbrush, brushing her hair as I slipped on my shoes and just like that we were off to see Ruby—we were off to keep sneaking around about my powers behind Dean's back.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"You okay, Grandpa?" I asked Bobby with a smile as he came into the room.

He gave me a look as Dean chuckled. "I dunno how many times I have to tell you—only _Johnny _is allowed to call me that!"

"Fine, Gramps, but take a look at this, would you?" Dean asked him with a grin on his face, Bobby smacking him upside the head.

"Sorry, Dad—I forgot that the man I married likes to push buttons for a second." I told Bobby kissing his cheek.

Calling Bobby 'Dad' was a pretty new arrangement, but Bobby didn't seem to mind it—he thought of me as a daughter as much as I thought of him as a father. Dean kind of smiled between us as Bobby looked over the book and then he glanced at his phone and I frowned. Bobby actually _did _seem upset and I wanted to know what exactly it was that was bothering him—could I help?

"Hey…what's wrong?" I asked him softly.

Bobby took a deep breath. "It could be nothing."

"But it could also be _something_…so what's up?" I asked him again.

"I'm just waiting on a call." Bobby informed me with a shrug.

I bit my lip and simply nodded, wanting him to open up but also understanding that there were things I didn't get to be in on. If Bobby wanted to keep it to himself, then Bobby got to keep it to himself. Who was I to push _anyone _on _anything _right now? They were supposed to be able to come to me when they _wanted _to…that moment was obviously _not _right now.

So we just researched for a little while longer, me checking on Johnny but him still sleeping peacefully. He was catching up on sleep and I was thankful for that—he'd been so wide awake just for his father recently and it was nice for him to get to sleep. Then I came back and Bobby seemed even more agitated than normal and I sat down next to him, resting my hand on his knee to let him know I was there for him.

"We may have a situation." Bobby said finally, reaching out and touching my shoulder.

I smiled sadly and nodded. "Well Kate and Sam are pulling up out front so…we can keep the car running, I guess."

"When did they leave?" Dean asked aloud with a confused look on his face.

"I'll grab Johnny and we can go." I told him with a shrug, heading up to the nursery.

Johnny wasn't so happy about being roused from sleep, but when I snuggled him and sung to him softly, he decided not to cry. He just made that adorable pouty face of his and then I got him into his car seat, Kate and I sitting on either side of it in the backseat, Sam getting into the passenger seat of the car.

"So what's going on?" Kate asked Bobby.

Bobby took a deep breath. "I got a friend one state over. Olivia Lowry. I've been trying to reach her for three days on this angel thing. It's not like her to ignore this many calls."

"Olivia Lowry? A hunter, right?" Kate inquired.

"Yeah. We're gonna go check on her. You guys follow me." Bobby told us.

I nodded and then Bobby nodded and went to get in his car, Dean getting into the driver's seat as I got Johnny to take his binkie. As I ran my fingers through his hair, Dean took the bag that Sam had brought from him and checked it. He got a look on his face and Sam just sat there ready to go, Kate looking confused.

"Dude?" Dean asked him, looking in the bag.

"Yeah?" Sam replied.

Dean gave him a look. "Where's the pie?"

I laughed a little. "The least of our worries."

Kate nodded in agreement and then we pulled out onto the road, following Bobby all the way to Olivia's. When we got there, Sam, Bobby, Dean and Kate _all_ told me to stay in the car with Johnny so I did—Johnny was sleeping because of the car ride anyway. Then the three came out and told me she was dead and we went to check on a few more hunters that weren't picking up—Bobby's friend Jed looked even worse off than his friend Olivia.

"Magic time." I said simply, focusing. "No arguing just let me do this."

Dean just nodded and then had Sam take over driving for him, all of us switching around so Dean could nap. Kate got into the passenger seat and Sam drove, Dean sleeping in the back with me and Johnny, Johnny sleeping, his head leaned in Dean's direction. I smiled at how perfect they were and then I did the spell as we made it to a gas station. Kate got out to fill up the car while Sam went to wash his face in the gas station's bathroom. I was trying to think everything over when I felt a presence and I was worried—why her?

"Son of a bitch!" I exclaimed when her face was suddenly in my window and then Dean was up.

"Son of a bitch!" He exclaimed too.

I looked at her. "Are you going to kill me, Chelsea?"

"No." She said as Johnny woke up and started to cry. "I'm here because you wanted to know what was going on—well everyone you let die has come to claim some revenge."

"That doesn't sound pleasant." Dean told her.

I got out of the car while Dean tried to get Johnny to calm down, Johnny making a force field to protect himself and his father and Kate stopped filling up the Impala. She didn't take any steps towards Chelsea for fear of what Chelsea would do, and at the same time what _could_ Chelsea do? I was now one and I finally knew how to kill her—my four months hadn't _just_ been spent being safe with Bobby and Johnny.

"It's _not_ pleasant." Chelsea replied with a laugh. "Something _big_ is in motion and it's only just beginning. I'm betting you guys scrape through this one but you won't _all _survive the war ahead."

I took a deep breath. "Why is this happening, Chelsea? Do you know or are you just being a smartass as usual?"

"I'm checking on Sam." Kate said quickly.

"You and I will fight it out but not here—you're not ready and you don't have the means." Chelsea explained with a shrug. "I'm just the answer…your spell worked…now embrace your full potential."

With that she was gone and Kate helped Sam out of the bathroom, him having honestly been attacked. Turned out it was by the ghost of Henriksen, the FBI agent, and I was kind of worried about what was going to happen so I started trying to call Bobby. This was all starting around him and I needed him to be all right—I could _not _lose _him_ too…I just couldn't.

"Damn it, Bobby! Pick up!" Dean exclaimed as he tried to call him too. "How you feeling, huh? How many fingers am I holding up?"

Sam shot him a look. "None—I'll be fine, Dean."

"Are you sure?" Kate asked him.

"Yes, I'm fine." Sam replied.

Dean nodded slowly. "Henriksen?"

"Yep." Sam said nodding.

I nodded again. "Well, he wanted revenge just like Chelsea said."

"Chelsea?" Sam asked me.

I nodded and rubbed my temples, trying to call Bobby one more time because I was freaking out. She had said that something "big" was going on and I couldn't help but assume that what she was talking about was connected to Dean being dragged out of Hell by an _angel_. Was this really a Heaven vs. Hell kind of war? What exactly were we in the middle of here and why?

"Yeah…the spell worked. Chelsea came to say that the people we let die are going to come for us…lucky me all my family members that are dead weren't dead _because _of me, so…I have nothing to worry about." I said nodding, glad Johnny would be safe from _that_ at least.

Sam laughed a little. "Yes you do—all the hunts with us _and_ all the people Dark Lana killed. You did say you were one with her now, right?"

"Oh right…awesome." I said sighing and then I groaned. "Bobby is _still_ not answering and I'm worried about him."

"We need to get to him before he ends up like Olivia." Dean said with a nod.

"Agreed." I agreed nodding vigorously.

So we hurried to Bobby's and went in guns blazing, since really none of us were safe. We both searched for Bobby, separated, and I stopped in my tracks, holding Johnny close to me. Why were they here? I had always blamed myself for it but it wasn't really _my_ fault, was it? It wasn't really because of _me_ that they were _dead_…right?

"No…I was not responsible for your deaths." I told my adopted parents.

"Are you kidding me? It was your fault that Nora came after us." Marcus told me. "After we took you and Annie in…raised you…and you let us die."

"At least she didn't kill you." Paige said, coming out of nowhere.

I swallowed. "Shit."

"What kind of mouth do you have now?" Bethany asked me. "In front of your son—a son you take into hunts. What kind of mother are you?"

I swallowed as I let the words sink in because they had a point—I brought him around places of danger a _lot_. Johnny and I had been in situations with demons before and if I had to fight them, I needed to know he was safe while I did that, and I knew that these ghosts _couldn't_ touch us. There were things I had to own up about and there were things I wanted to run from, but I couldn't run…I had to face who Johnny and I were.

"You have anything better than that? You're not going to make me feel guilty. I've repented." I told them firmly.

Paige laughed at me. "And become one with your dark side? Do you really think you can be good? Do you? You can't, Lana. You'll never be good…neither will Johnny—you're going to Hell."

"I know I am. I know I'll never see Heaven—not ever." I told he with a nod.

"That's good—you don't deserve it." Marcus replied with a shrug.

I shook my head. "No…no I don't. I'm willing to go there. I don't want to be changed, but I made a deal, and I'm going to follow through with it and Johnny will understand—he'll be safe and all right."

"How _dare_ you?" Bethany asked me.

Paige nodded slowly. "She's right…how _dare_ you? This is the exact attitude Dean gave that you got made at him for."

"Oh my God, all the nagging little voices!" I replied, and focused.

When they laughed, I tapped into my demonic powers and made them leave, Johnny raising his hand up. I didn't want him to do it so I took his hand in mine gently and kissed it—I wasn't ready for him to use his powers again…not when he wasn't actually _trained _to use them. Then we went to see if the others were all right, and I found them discussing what was happening.

"I saw something on Meg. Did she have a tattoo when she was alive?" Dean asked Sam.

Sam shook his head. "I don't think so."

"It was like a…a mark on her hand. Almost like a brand." Dean explained to him.

"Grant had the same mark and so did Henriksen." Kate said with a nod.

"It was on Bethany, Marcus and Paige too." I admitted.

"All three of them? You had to face all three if them?" Dean asked me. "_With_ Johnny?"

I took a deep breath and just nodded and told them that I was fine, drawing the symbol for them. When I handed it to Bobby we both exchanged looks and he grabbed a couple of books and then told us we had to move. He took us to a room that he had made with me when Johnny and I had been staying with him and I set Johnny down, smiling when he stood there and looked around at everyone—taking in everything since he was my little observer. Bobby and I had made sure there was an arsenal, a desk and a bed, and when Bobby shut the door, Sam went to touch the walls.

"Bobby, is this…?" Sam asked him.

"Solid iron. Completely coated in salt. 100% ghost-proof." Bobby replied.

"You built a panic room?" Sam asked with a laugh.

Bobby shrugged. "Lana and I had a weekend off."

"Bobby." Dean began nodding.

"What?" Bobby asked, tired of being mocked.

"You're awesome." Dean answered him, smiling. "Oh!"

Dean went over to look at a poster and I sat on the bed with a book, Johnny reaching his hands up to Kate and saying, "Up". She smiled at him and picked him up, holding him close and kissing his head as he snuggled into her, Bobby grabbing a book too. We were both really worried about what was going on and we were pretty certain that we knew what it was and Sam and Dean started making some salt rounds.

"See, this is why I can't get behind God." Dean said in the silence.

"What are you talking about?" Sam and Kate asked him together.

"If he doesn't exist, fine—bad crap happens to good people. That's how it is. There's no rhyme or reason. Just random, horrible, evil—I get it, okay. I can roll with that. But if He is out there, what's wrong with Him? Where the hell is He while all these decent people are getting torn to shreds? How does He live with Himself? You know, why doesn't He help?" Dean asked aloud, and I knew that it was partially directed at me.

The boys turned to look at me and Bobby in the silence and Kate just shifted and made salt rounds. She didn't want to get involved in a conversation like that, and I knew that the things I wanted to say weren't going to be taken the right way. In the end, Bobby was the one who spoke up since Dean had honestly wanted an answer.

"I ain't touching this one with at 10-foot pole." Bobby said, researching the symbol.

I swallowed and nodded. "Maybe he doesn't think we deserve it. Maybe we all have evil in us, and we can't really be judged until the end—maybe we're all using our _free will_ that _he_ gave us and we get to live life the way we want and then in the end we're judged."

Dean looked at me. "What?"

"Look, I don't know the answer I just—God is a thing of faith and if you don't have faith, then I don't know what to tell you." I told him shrugging and then I stood up. "I found it!"

"Me too." Bobby said, both of us smiling at each other. "The symbol you saw—the brand on the ghosts," Bobby said with a nod, "it's the Mark of the Witness."

"Witness? Witness to what?" Sam asked confused.

I looked at them. "The unnatural—none of them died what you'd call ordinary deaths. These ghosts were forced to rise, and so they woke up in agony."

Bobby nodded slowly. "They were like rabid dogs. It ain't their fault. Someone rose them…on purpose."

"Who?" Sam asked us.

"Do I look like I know?" Bobby replied. "But whoever it was used a spell so powerful that it left a mark, a brand on their souls. Whoever did this had big plans. It's called 'The rising of the witnesses'. It…it figures into an ancient prophecy."

"Wait, wait. What…what book is that prophecy from?" Dean asked.

"The bible, Dean—it's from _R__evelations_." I told him. "This is a sign."

I knew the look that crossed Dean's face momentarily and I swallowed because things just got real. Castiel was telling the truth and angels and demons were fighting and _he_ was in the middle of it…but he had to make sure. We _all_ had to be _certain_ that what was coming right now was in fact _the end of the world_.

"A sign of what?" Sam and Dean asked together.

"The Apocalypse." Bobby and I told them in unison.

"Apocalypse?" Dean repeated slowly.

Bobby nodded at him. "Yeah."

Dean looked at us. "As in the Apocalypse, Apocalypse? The four horsemen, pestilence, $5-A-Gallon-Gas Apocalypse?"

I nodded again. "Yes…the rise of the witnesses is a mile marker."

We all nodded and took the information in, trying to figure out where to go from here. All of us were worried about what was coming next and I was more worried about Dean's role—about what his role was going to mean for _us_. It was selfish to ask that kind of question when this was about _him_ and _not_ about _us_…but I really couldn't help but ask that question to myself?

"Okay, so, what do we do now?" Sam asked aloud.

"Road trip." Dean suggested with a nod. "Grand Canyon. _Star Trek_ experience. Bunny ranch—family to Palm Springs?"

Bobby looked at him. "First things first. How about we survive our friends out there?"

"Great. Any ideas aside from staying in this room until judgment day?" Dean asked.

"There's a spell to send the witnesses back to rest that I bet Bobby and I could do that would work." I explained with a small sigh. "I've been a lot better at all of the magic stuff since Dark Lana and I became one and uh…I'm pretty good with the demon stuff."

Bobby nodded. "It _should _work. Lana can help me translate it correctly. I think I got everything we need here at the house."

"Any chance you got everything we need here in this room?" Dean asked him.

Bobby laughed a little. "So, you thought our luck was gonna start _now_ all of a sudden? Spell's got to be cast over an open fire."

"The fireplace in the library." Sam said nodding.

I nodded too. "Pretty much."

"That's just not as appealing as a ghost-proof panic room, you know?" Dean pointed out.

Kate smiled at him, laughing a little. "That it's not, but we have no other options."

Dean nodded, and after I helped Bobby with the translation, we ran into Ronald when we left the room, Bobby having to shoot him because Dean didn't. We hurried to the library and Sam drew a circle of salt to keep Bobby safe, then Bobby told them he needed his red hex box upstairs. I was about to offer to go and get it because it would keep Johnny and I out of _immediate_ danger, but then I saw her—Victoria.

I hurried out of the house and I went straight for her, Johnny not putting up a force field. It wasn't that he trusted her—neither of us did—but we both knew she wasn't here for a fight. She was outside for a reason, and it looked to me like even though she wasn't on our side, she too did not want any part of the war that was to come. What I was going to have to owe her after this was a _completely_ different story.

"I owe you for saving me a couple of months ago—you and Johnny." Victoria said with a shrug. "Point me the right direction and this can be over. Did you translate the spell?"

I nodded at her. "Yeah—head on in and help Bobby out."

She nodded and we went back in, her helping to fight off the ghosts while Bobby got the spell going. The wind blew in through the windows and hurt the salt circle, and we tried to cover Bobby, more ghosts showing up to stop us. However, Victoria caught the bowl as it fell, and I grabbed it from her and tossed the contents into the fire—the spirits disappeared right away.

xxxx

That night we all fell asleep, Castiel coming to me in my dream and though it wasn't a dream with him in it like before, it was nice to see him. He had gotten me through a _lot_ of my rough times and sometimes just feeling his presence during a nightmare helped and I _needed_ him. Honestly, I didn't know what I would have done _without_ him, and I knew I was going to need him more in the future.

"Hello." I told him pleasantly.

Castiel nodded to acknowledge me. "You did well, tonight."

"Of course you were in on it—what is going on? Is this part of Lilith's plan?" I asked him. "Is this something we can stop?"

"You're very perceptive—I'm glad you're on our side." Castiel replied with a nod.

I smiled and nodded. "Yes, well…convincing everyone else is going to be hard."

"I know…look…if Lilith gets 66 seals opened, she releases Lucifer." Castiel explained without hesitating anymore.

"What? You mean…Lucifer? Fallen angel, _devil_ Lucifer?" I asked him.

Castiel nodded again. "Exactly."

The moment the words came out of his mouth I didn't know what to say. Yes I knew that 'Apocalypse' really spelled out 'Lucifer' but I didn't want to believe it—I didn't want to believe the demons that had mentioned it. If this was Lilith's big master plan and Johnny and I were part of it…then _how_ were we part of it? How was Lilith going to use us?

I sighed as I nodded again. "So this is big?"

"Very." Castiel replied.

I swallowed and looked at him. "Fine…can I ask you something?"

"I can't tell you what your role is, Lana—I can't tell you what you're supposed to do. All I can tell you is you have to protect yourself—you have to protect Johnny. You can not hide who you are…even after making that deal."

"I was afraid you were going to say that." I told him nodding. "What do I do? Embracing all of this and owning up about the deal and about Johnny using powers already is going to _break _him. I don't…it's _not _going to make him want to _help_."

Castiel stepped closer to me. "You'll find a way. I took him out of Hell, and I can throw him back in."

I looked up to tell him that I would, but he was gone, and I woke up with a start. It was really early, so I turned over, Dean still sleeping on the floor next to me, Sam and Kate snuggled on the couch. I got up to make some breakfast after checking Johnny in the basinet, Sam and Kate waking up to the smell, and then a little while later, Dean woke up with a start.

"You all right?" Sam asked him. "What's wrong, Dean?"

"So…you got no problem believing in…God and angels?" Dean asked us.

"No, not really." Sam said shaking his head.

I smiled at him. "I've believed in angels my whole life."

"Me too." Kate admitted as she bit into some toast.

"So, I guess that means that you believe in the Devil?" Dean asked us slowly.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Why are you asking me all this?"

I sighed a little. "Because Lilith's plan is to raise Lucifer."

**Note: Confused? Wondering where this is going? I have a plan, and there **_**will**_** be flashbacks and I have **_**three**_** of my own little side plots to do so I **_**promise**_** I have more in store for you guys! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	70. HD NOTE AND UPDATE

I was gonna update a chapter but this idea came to me and I had to run with it…so go check out: "Hunting Demons: One-Shots".

I will update a chapter and maybe two of "Hunting Demons" tomorrow, I promise.

Thank you all _so_ much for understanding!

Kyla


	71. Calm Before the Storm

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Got my first flame on this story…reading this story over I find no character inconsistencies—it's called 'character growth' and anyone who has seen the actual show knows that deep down Dean wants a "normal" life and he'd do anything to have it if he could; besides, I have Sam and Dean pretty damn in character so…go re-watch the show before you use **_**that **_**as a reason to flame this.**

**I also find that after talking with people, I have decided that even though this story has now been called shit, it's not—and outside of this I'm getting published and paid to write so…haters can hate all they want and then go away because at least I'm making writing a career.**

**Yes, that **_**was **_**kind of bitchy, but it's the truth and I just wanted others who come along to bash me and my stories to know that I **_**do**_** take what you say in your reviews seriously…I just don't agree with this particular one and that is my right.**

**So this chapter is short and fluffy with a little angst cause come on people—this is **_**me**_**, we're talking about.**

**Longer chapter next chapter and soon, I promise!**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

Even though it wasn't at all, Sam and Dean were pretending like everything was all right and Kate was starting to play along. She was pretending that the fights hadn't happened because the boys were happy and I wanted to play along, I did, but I also wanted to talk about things. At the same time, I knew there would be a time for that later…I knew that Castiel wanted to show Dean some things because he had told me and I felt like it was about time I rebuilt my relationships—_all _of them.

"I think Kaydee thinks that she can take Johnny's toys and get away with it." I told Jen with a laugh, leaning my head on her shoulder and sipping my coffee.

Jen laughed loudly. "Yeah, I think she does too because she always tries it. Then what happens? Either Johnny retaliates with powers, or Minah gives it back to him."

"I like Minah giving it back to him, better." Dean admitted as he and Kevin came into the room handing Jen and I each a slice of pie on a plate.

"How come Lana's slice is bigger than mine? I mean yeah, she's Lana, but _I'm _eating for _two_." Jen pointed out as she got a bite on her fork and began to eat it. "Cherry? Well that's definitely different…I was expecting apple."

I laughed and shrugged, my mouth half full as I spoke. "I can't eat apple _all _the time, Jenny."

Jen smiled and it grew as Kevin and Dean chuckled and Dean kissed my head and ran his hand up and down my arm, giving my shoulder a squeeze. He was so happy that he was back even though he was still having nightmares about Hell and wouldn't talk about them to feel better. That was another thing—I was feeling like I was being left out of his life because he didn't want to talk about Hell…as hard as I knew that was for him, I had had to see it and _I _needed to talk about it…but I'd promised to do it on _his _time.

"I'm actually kind of glad you guys stuck around this afternoon." Jen said, leaning back into her husband and laughing as she looked up and saw Dean scarfing the pie down hungrily. "That does it—you two were _meant _for each other…like seriously."

Kevin laughed and nodded. "I concur with this—I also have to ask…are you two having any other kids?"

"Kevin!" Jen chastised, knowing all about the negative pregnancy test that I had gotten while Dean was dead…and knowing all about how I had yet to tell him about that.

Honestly why should I tell him? He had been dead and I had been completely _not _pregnant, so what was the point in opening up _that _can of worms again? I was upset about it and I had thought about talking to him about trying again but there hadn't been a good time and then Castiel had explained about Lilith…and how could I do it now? How could I sign on to bring another child into this world when there was some sort of demon plan for Johnny and when Lucifer might rise? That would be terrible of me.

"We haven't talked about it and if we ever do Jen will be the first to know." I told him with a shrug, shoving a piece of pie into my mouth.

Dean just nodded. "Yeah…"

"I'm sorry—I didn't realize the subject was so touchy." Kevin replied as Jen smacked him in the stomach.

"It's not a 'touchy' subject…it's just not something we're talking about right now." I explained casually with a shrug, finishing off my pie. "We'd stay longer but I have a friend date with Sammy tonight and Johnny needs a nap…he's getting a little cranky with Kaydee. Johnny! No! You do _not _use magic in anger!"

I got up to go and pick him up as he knocked Kaydence over with a wave of his hand and Dean took a deep breath and just smiled awkwardly. It was definitely still something that he was getting used to—Johnny having powers like me because of the demon blood and the witchcraft inside of him—and I understood his hesitation with it. Still, we got all of his things packed up in his diaper bag and Dean got his jacket on him, holding him and shaking Kevin's hand as I hugged Jen and rested my hand on her stomach.

"I love you, Jenny." I told her, kissing her cheek and pulling back.

Jen smiled at me. "I love you too, Lan."

"We'll see you guys next time we can." Dean explained, kissing Jen's cheek as I hugged Kevin and then went to say 'goodbye' to the girls. "I hope you guys get a boy this time."

"Me too." Jen said with a shrug. "If I _have_ to have a third kid, it _better_ be a boy."

Dean chuckled and then we left, heading back to our house and I smiled when Sam looked up and smiled at me. He and I had been drifting apart _so_ much lately and I was just in _desperate_ need of my best guy friend back. There was just so much going on with us and I felt like I was losing him more than I was losing anyone else and it was breaking my heart—he was my platonic soul mate and I _needed_ him.

"You ready for this?" I asked him.

Sam nodded and stood up. "Yeah I am—so what do you have planned?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out when it happens." I explained to him.

"Yeah because _that_ doesn't sound ominous at _all_." Sam chuckled, kissing Kate as she kissed him softly.

Kate took a hold of his jacket as Dean sat on the couch with Johnny, taking his jacket off and grabbing his binkie for him. Neither of us wanted him to nap quite yet—he needed some food and Kate and Dean would be with him to keep him occupied and then I would be home to tuck him in. Sam and I just needed to get back on our feet as far as our friendship was concerned, and we were lucky enough to have Kate and Dean on our sides rooting for us.

"Come on, Bestie." I told him, holding out my hand and grasping his.

Kate smiled at us. "Have fun—and try not to get arrested."

"I'll bring him back in one piece, I promise. Bye, Baby…Kate…my Johnny-Bear." I said happily, blowing Johnny a kiss.

"Mommy." Johnny said with a grin on his face.

I smiled and then Sam and I headed for the door, zipping up our jackets and smiling at each other as we headed out to the sidewalk. It wasn't really late, but it wasn't too early either—it was the perfect time to just walk around and chat and well…get some food. If there was one thing that I was thankful that Sam still understood, it was that I needed to have food.

"So where are we going to eat?" Sam asked me.

I smiled at him. "Hey…I just wanted to let you know that you can _always_ talk to me. I'm here for you, and I love you, and I'm always going to be here to be your best friend—and we're _not_ going for tacos."

"I love you too, Lan. We're going to be best friends forever whether you like it or not—let's go find a hot dog stand." Sam told me with a grin.

I playfully punched his shoulder. "Oh my God you totally _know_ me!"

Sam chuckled and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me close to him and kissing the top of my head. "Yeah, I do…I'm glad you wanted to do this."

"Me too, Sammy…me too." I admitted to him, looking up at him fondly.

The two of us just smiled and then we started to catch up, finding a hot dog stand and ordering a few hot dogs and then heading to the park, grabbing some coffee from a coffee stand. We sat on the park bench and started to gossip and talk about the months away from each other, and it was nice…it felt _right_. The two of us were pretty much the way we'd always been—Sam and Lana and that was just the way it would always be.

"So you and Kate…you guys are pretty perfect then, right?" I inquired, glad that the two of them were together and in love.

Sam nodded and took a breath. "Yeah…we're actually great, and I'm glad. I actually thought about proposing the other day."

"Really?" I asked him, my eyes twinkling as I started to get giddy. "How are you going to do it? Have you bought a ring? Oh my God I am _so_ excited right now!"

"Calm down, Lan, calm down." Sam said chuckling. "When I know all the details, I will most _definitely_ let you know, I _promise_."

I just nodded and then made a face when he pointed out that I'd dropped mustard on my shirt, both of us laughing some more. We spent a few hours at the park before we went back home and I went to tuck in Johnny. He actually went down pretty fast, and so I snuggled into bed with my husband, who complimented me on my smelling of hot dogs, and we slept peacefully most of the night.

xxxx

When I woke up in the middle of the night, I shot up because Castiel was there and I just smiled at him a little. I got up out of the bed and grabbed my robe, motioning my head out of the room because talking would wake Dean up. He looked like he was doing all right even though at the same time I thought he was having nightmares again—nightmares I just couldn't help him to get over. What was the point in me knowing what had happened if he wouldn't _talk_ about it—if I couldn't _help_ him?

"You feel it, right?" Castiel asked me.

I swallowed and nodded. "Yes, I do…are you sure I should be doing this? I mean you're not keen on _Sam_ using _his_ powers, so what's different about me?"

"The difference is you have the ability to control what you do—_you're _not working with demons…why are you letting Sam?" Castiel asked me firmly.

"Because Kate is letting him." I answered simply. "Kate trusts him and Sam is saving people…he's in control. Is that…Cas, is that bad?"

Castiel looked at me and then he looked towards the bedroom door as we stood in the hallway and I glanced at it as well. He wasn't here for me, but at the same time he understood I needed him even though he never showed emotions—never showed that he was _glad _to be here for me…he just always was. Castiel was here for _Dean _this time and I had a feeling that I wasn't going to get to have anything to do with whatever Castiel had planned.

"What exactly did you come for?" I asked softly, turning to look at Castiel. "You're not just here to warn me."

Castiel shook his head. "Dean needs to understand the events that led to this point."

"What do you mean? You mean Mary's deal with my father? You mean how her end was held up when my father dripped his own blood into Sam's mouth and turned him into a psychic? Cas…the demons I've run into seem to want me dead too—because I have the powers that I have and in return Johnny has powers too. Why don't the angels want me dead?" I asked swallowing. "Why is it that you're not here to get rid of me?"

"You have been molded for good—as a child, there were plays for you but your mother understood what had happened…your mother made you _our_ instrument." Castiel explained and then he headed for the door. "Go to Sam and do _not_ use any dark magic."

I just nodded as he went to sit on the bed, going to check on Johnny and change into the extra clothes I had in the nursery. Johnny was sleeping soundly until I stubbed my toe, and I whispered I was sorry and then I stroked his soft baby hair and kissed his forehead. Even though no one really understood, Castiel had been through me in the dark moments of Dean being in Hell and if he directly told me to do something…I did it.

"Mommy has to see Uncle Sammy, Johnny-Bear…now what did I teach you?" I asked Johnny softly.

Almost immediately, Johnny's force field went up and I smiled at him, grabbing my jacket and heading out to find Sam. I was worried about him and worried that Castiel was willing to get rid of him. Why didn't Castiel believe that I could keep Sam in line? Why did Castiel feel like Sam was doing something wrong when I was the one who could already _kill_ demons just by wanting to? Everything was so different now and I suddenly realized that _none_ of us were the same…and who expected us to be?

"Looks like a party in here." I said as I entered the warehouse, Kate, Sam and Ruby all looking up to see me, a possessed man tied down to a chair in front of them.

Kate swallowed. "What brings _you_ here, Lanni?"

"Cas _told_ me to come…what are you guys up to?" I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Sam is practicing." Ruby explained with a shrug.

I nodded slowly. "Oh, I see…practicing to kill a demon _inside_ of the host without _killing_ the _host_."

"Exactly." Kate replied with a nod, looking at the man in the chair.

I simply nodded and took a few more steps towards the threesome and took a deep breath. There was just something about this that made me feel like maybe Castiel was _wrong_ about me…maybe I was just as bad as Sam…maybe I was _worse_. For some reason I just didn't see the problem in Sam exercising his mind—what was wrong with embracing and controlling the part of him that he was so afraid of?

"Why did Cas send you?" Kate asked me suddenly.

I shrugged my shoulders. "He sent me because currently he has Dean doing something else. I don't really question his motives."

"I wonder about that." Ruby told me, giving me a look.

"I hope you don't wonder about me often because you already make me sick and that's creepy." I replied with a curt smile, wishing she would just _stop_ talking.

Sam cleared his throat. "I believe we kind of have a _reason_ for being here."

"Continue—don't let me stop you." I said holding up my hands.

Sam nodded and turned to the man tied to the chair, ready to badger the demon as much as he had to, to get his information. Every time I ran into a demon there was that look they gave me—that look that showed me that they knew who I was…that look that freaked me out because I knew it was bad. I always felt like my part in this upcoming war was going to separate me from Johnny and I didn't like that feeling _one_ bit.

"Where's Lilith?" Sam asked firmly.

The demon looked directly at him. "Kiss my ass."

"I'd watch myself if I were you." Sam told him.

"Why? Huh? Because you're Sam Winchester, Mr. Big Hero?" He replied and Ruby, leaned against the wall, observing in silence Sam's reaction as I did, Kate standing right by Sam's side—right where she belonged. "And yet here you are slutting around with some demon…real hero."

"Shut your mouth." Sam told him.

I made a face as Kate swallowed. "Wait a second…has Sam done something with the dead, ugly-ass, skanky demon that I don't know about?"

The demon looked at me. "Tell me about those months without your husband…about all the things you let your brother-in-law do." He turned to look at Sam. "Tell me about all those months without your brother…all the times you ignored your girlfriend for a demon—for her friend. Huh? Tell me about how being away from Lana tore you apart. Huh? Tell me, hero."

I bit my lip as Sam decided to use his powers to exorcise the demon instead and I suddenly felt it—Dean was there. We were all here with Sam, letting Sam use his powers and Dean's presence was as clear as day. This was about to get ugly, and I was going to be part of the problem since Dean was going to realize that I knew—how long had he been standing there?

**Note: And there you have it! I'm sorry this chapter is **_**sooooo**_** short, but I will make it up to you. I just wanted to get something updated and hopefully all of my following chapters will be better edited. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	72. The Return of the Witch

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Sorry this got messed up somehow.**

**I don't really have anything to say though—this has a doosey of a cliffhanger.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

"How'd it feel?" Ruby asked him as Sam checked the man for a pulse.

"Good. No more headaches." Sam told her, untying the victim.

Ruby smiled at him. "None? That's good."

"Hey, Demon Skank—the man's conscious." Kate said as she rolled her eyes.

"Hey, hey. I got you." Sam told the man. "It's all right."

"So…Anything you want to tell me, Sam?" Dean asked Sam, entering the scene and making me take a deep breath.

I really didn't know what was going to happen, but I was worried because there was _obviously _going to be a blow-out. Then I thought about it a moment as Kate, Ruby and Sam all looked at Dean completely surprised and nervous and I wondered where Johnny was. Hopefully he wasn't all by himself…hopefully someone was with him and for me that was the most important thing—knowing Johnny was safe since he wasn't here with his mother and his father and Bobby had gone back to live at his _own_ house.

"Dean, hold on, okay? Just let me…" Sam tried quickly as I opened up my mouth.

"You gonna say, let me explain? You're gonna explain this? How about this? Why don't you start with who she is and what the hell is she doing here?" Dean asked, and Sam turned to look at Ruby.

I held my hand up as Ruby went to speak. "Where is Johnny? Who did you leave him with? Ruby is not even our largest issue right now."

Dean held his hand up in my direction. "Johnny is with Annie and Penn—they came home early. I'll yell at you later, Lana. Kate…Sam…this is Ruby? Ruby's been around and the three of you just let it happen? Kate I told you to take _care_ of my brother."

Without letting Sam or Kate answer, Dean attacked Ruby and pulled out the knife as he pinned her to the wall, but Sam stopped Dean from killing her. Kate looked like she really didn't care if Dean killed Ruby or not and I didn't mind either, but Sam…Sam felt like he needed her. If there was one thing that I learned from my catch-up with Sam, it was that he _believed_ he was helping people and Ruby was helping him practice—he didn't actually _trust_ her.

"Don't!" Sam exclaimed, and Dean violently pushed Sam back, Ruby gaining the upper hand on him. "Ruby, stop it!"

Kate started to retreat towards the other wall with Sam as I ran my fingers through my hair and then crossed my arms over my chest. Ruby listened to Sam and it was kind of unnerving how obedient she was—then again I think that Kate's look on her made her stop too. If there was _anyone _you didn't want to be on the bad side of, it was _definitely _Kate and I was glad that Ruby was afraid of her.

"Well, aren't you an obedient little bitch?" Dean asked her as she backed off of him.

"Ruby. Ruby…he's hurt. Go." Sam told her, and so Ruby put the victim's arm around her neck to help him walk.

Dean looked at her. "Where the Hell do you think you're going?"

"The E.R….unless you want to go another round first." She said, and then walked out past me when Dean didn't answer her.

Dean looked at Sam with anger in his eyes and then walked away from him towards me, not even looking at Kate. It was hard for him because he suddenly realized that none of what he had asked from us before he died had been honored. Part of me felt bad about that, but the other part of me felt like he should _understand_ that we all had to move on—that we all had to cope without him and make our own decisions.

"Dean." Sam said, but Dean had nothing to say to him. "Dean!"

I opened my mouth to say something, but Dean just walked right past me and I closed my eyes, running my fingers through my hair. Kate wanted to say something because he was making Sam feel bad, but at the same time she didn't want to move. Sam needed us since Dean obviously didn't understand and it was pretty clear that we were going to be walking back to the house…how fun.

"We should have told him earlier." I said as I opened up my eyes, looking at Sam and Kate.

Sam took a deep breath. "Yeah…still this is how we knew he'd react."

"I think part of this is because we've all been lying to him." Kate reminded him. "I promised him I'd look after you and yet I let you do this and Lana…I mean he's not okay with _her _using her powers so he's sure as _Hell _not going to be okay with _you _doing them, Sammy."

"We went about this all wrong." I told them dismally. "I can't believe that we've screwed so much up and he hasn't even been alive again all that long."

"Let's just get home." Sam said as he hurried past us.

Kate and I nodded and followed him, walking all the way back to the house where Annie and Penn were waiting up. Johnny was awake and worried about his parents, and Annie was upset she hadn't been here when Dean had come back to life. We sat around and I fed Johnny and we waited for Dean…tried to call him, wondered if he was even coming home and then it happened—he walked in the front door.

Sam took a deep breath because he obviously didn't want to speak to any of us, and he, Kate and I followed him up to mine and his room, Johnny in my arms. Kate rubbed her temples as Dean grabbed his duffle, starting to pack up his things and suddenly Sam and I both felt desperate. It didn't seem fair that he was just giving up right now but then again, how could we blame him? This was hard for him and it was our fault.

"Dean, what are you doing? What, are you…are you leaving?" Sam asked him.

"You don't need me. You and Ruby go fight demons with Kate, and Lana goes off and fights them on her own." Dean said out loud.

"Hold on. Dean, come on, man." Sam tried, but Dean punched him in the face and I jumped a little, Johnny scrunching up his face like he was going to cry. "You satisfied?" Sam asked, but Dean punched him again. "I guess not."

Kate took a step towards them to protect Sam, knowing Dean was upset but still not wanting to let Dean get away with this. Couldn't he understand that this was part of who Sam _was_? Couldn't he get that we were all doing what we thought was best even though he didn't like it? This was what Sam and Kate had been trying to avoid and I couldn't help but wonder if it would have been better had we told him what was going on so he didn't have to find out like this.

"Do you even know how far off the reservation you've gone? How far from normal? From human?" Dean asked Sam. "Lana too? I was already worried enough about my wife exorcising demons with a flick of her wrist, but now you? To top it off, Kate is _letting_ you do this!"

"We're just exorcising demons." Sam protested as I bit my lip.

"With your mind! What else can you two do?" Dean asked angrily.

I took a deep breath. "We can send them back to Hell, Dean. It only works with demons, and that's it…it saves the host."

"What else can you two do?" Dean asked, grabbing a hold of Sam's collar since he was closest and I was holding a baby and Kate went to stop him.

"She told you!" Sam replied, freeing himself from Dean and sighing when Kate got in between him and his brother.

"And I have every reason in the world to believe that." Dean said sarcastically.

Sam took a breath. "Look, I should have said something. I'm sorry, Dean. I am—but try to see the other side here."

"The other side?" Dean asked, turning to face Sam since he had been coming over to me.

"I'm pulling demons out of innocent people." Sam explained slowly.

Dean was livid. "Use the knife!"

"The knife kills the victim! What I do, most of them survive!" Sam yelled back. "Look, I've saved more people in the last five months than we save in a year. And Lana…Lana's stronger than me and because of that we're making a difference!"

Dean nodded. "Right. You two are saving people. That's what Ruby wants you to think? Kind of like the way she tricked you into using your powers? Slippery slope, brother. Just wait and see. Because it's gonna get darker and darker, and God knows where it ends."

"I'm not gonna let it go too far." Sam told him, but Dean sent a lamp flying across the room and Johnny started to cry so I got up and rocked him a little.

"It's already gone too far, Sam. If I didn't know you…I would want to hunt you—both of you." Dean added looking at me too, Sam and I feeling the tears come. "And so would other hunters."

The two of us nodded slowly, Kate looking at Dean with daggers in her eyes and I had a feeling she had a lot to say. She had a lot to say but Sam was already starting to talk and Johnny was crying because he really didn't like the arguing that was happening. I was surprised Annie and Penn hadn't shown up yet to stop us all from yelling at each other—then again…maybe we all _needed_ to yell at each other.

"You were gone. Lana, Kate and I were here. We had to keep on fighting without you. And what we're doing…it works." Sam told Dean firmly as I rocked Johnny some more and kissed his head, calmly him down a little bit.

"Well, tell me, if it's so terrific…then why'd you lie about it to me? Why did an _angel_ tell me to stop you?" Dean asked Sam and then he looked directly at me. "And why did an angel not tell me to stop you if you're supposedly stronger than Sam is? If that's the case then surely you're more of a threat."

Sam was incredibly surprised. "What?"

"Cas said that if I don't stop you, he will. See what that means, Sam? That means that _God_ doesn't want you doing this. So, are you just gonna stand there and tell me that everything is all good? Are you both going to just keep defending each other?" Dean asked him, but Sam's phone rang.

I took a breath as Sam answered his phone and Kate looked upset I cut her off. "Look, Dean—don't you dare hold your hand up to stop me from talking! You have no idea what it's like to have darkness inside of you—to have demon blood coursing through your veins. Now I have tried as hard as I could not to use my powers whether you want to believe me or not! This is _who I am_, Dean! These powers keep us all safe and Cas _specifically _told me that he trusts me! That I'm on his side and that I was raised to follow him…_not _the darkness. Cas had a path for you—your little time trip to learn about what happened to Sam and now that you know can't you even _try _to understand? We have no choice!"

"There's always a choice, Lana!" Dean told me angrily.

I nodded slowly. "Obviously…sometimes they're as small as calling your wife by her name."

Dean ran his hand down his face. "Lana…"

"I don't care, Dean." I told him in a tired voice. "No, its okay, Johnny-Bear—Mommy didn't mean to yell. Shhh, Buddy…it's okay."

Kate shook her head. "No, it's _not_ okay. You have no idea what Lana and Sam have to go through and you have no right to be upset about this. How about you stop to actually think about it and then you talk it out without pointing fingers! They're not bad people and yet you're treating them like shit!"

"We need to head to Carthage, Missouri and look for Jack Montgomery—that was Travis." Sam told us all, trying to stop Kate from starting this conversation and I just kissed Johnny's head and nodded.

Once we got Johnny into his car seat and were all packed and on the road, Dean told Sam, Kate and I about his time trip with Castiel. He got to go back into the past and learn why things were the way that they were and I was surprised to find out that my mother was Mary's friend…but then it all clicked for me. She and Mary were hunters—they knew about demons, they even did hunts together and when Mary died, my mother helped John…she helped him to avenge Mary's death. So why were there still holes in the past? Why did my mother know what I was and yet train me for good when she loved my father?

"I can't believe it. Mom? A hunter?" Sam asked him.

"I wouldn't have believed it, either, if I hadn't seen it myself." Dean answered with a nod. "That woman could kick some ass. I mean, she almost took me down."

I smiled a little and Sam asked, "How'd she look? I mean…was she happy?"

"Yeah, she was awesome. Funny and smart. So hopeful. Dad, too. Until, of course…" Dean stopped when he heard Sam sighing. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just our parents, and now we find out our grandparents, too? Our whole family murdered, and for what? So Yellow Eyes could get in my nursery and bleed in my mouth?" Sam asked and the car was silent.

"Sam, I never said anything about demon blood." Dean told him breaking the silence first, but Sam didn't answer. "You knew about that?"

"Yeah, for about a year." Sam admitted with a nod.

Dean nodded too. "A whole year."

"I should have told you. I'm sorry." Sam said glancing at him.

Dean nodded again. "You've been saying that a lot lately, Sam. But whatever. You don't want to tell me, you don't have to. It's fine."

"Dean." Sam tried and then gave up. "Whatever."

"You don't have to apologize, Sam." Kate told him and Dean glanced at her via the rearview mirror and they shared a glare.

I understood that everyone was upset and yet I was still trying to figure it all out—what if my mother was one of the bad guys here? She was in love with my father and yet he ruined her friend's life and she…later on down the road she still procreated with him? How did that make sense? What was in it for my mother? Why would she do that?

"So I guess all of that Mary stuff fits." I told them, trying to get back onto the subject of our parents and away from the arguing about all of the lying. "I mean she hunted with my mother, she had to save her family, she made a deal with my father, Sam was turned into a psychic, Mary was sorry, my mother helped her have her normal life…it all fits together. Then John had to come into the hunters' life to avenge your mother and my mother helped him out…why do you two even put up with me. Look at all of the grief my father has caused you guys—he's the reason your family is so broken."

"You're not your father." Dean replied, and I smiled a little because even though he was scared to death of what Sam and I could do, he was trying—he was still in love with me even though he was incredibly upset.

Sam nodded as Kate grasped my hand. "Dean's right…you're not your father, Lan."

I stroked Johnny's hair and then after we got some food and figured out where the Montgomery's lived, we parked the car and the boys used their binoculars to spy on him while I hummed to Johnny and yawned a little. He probably should have been left in the motel with me and/or Kate by his side, but I wanted to be around the boys, and Kate did too. It was just easier for us all to do this together and it wasn't like we were actually doing a fight right now…

"We could have dropped you off at the motel, Lan." Sam told me.

I shrugged and shook my head. "Why do that? Johnny enjoys being in his father's presence, I think."

"I like being near him too." Dean admitted with a smile.

I smiled back at Dean, and then Dean went back to the binoculars and he sighed a little complaining, "You sure that's him, Sam?"

"Only Jack Montgomery in town…" Sam replied with a shrug.

"And we're looking for…?" Kate asked him. "He looks pretty normal to me."

"Travis said to keep an eye out for anything weird." Sam answered with a shrug.

Dean nodded slowly. "Weird?"

Sam nodded too. "Yeah."

"Alright, well, yeah, I've seen big weird, little weird, weird with crazy on top, but this guy? I mean, come on, this guy's boring." Dean said shrugging.

"I don't know, Dean. Travis seemed pretty sure." Sam replied. "I guess—oh God."

"What?" I asked Sam.

"He's eating a package of raw meat." Sam replied making a face.

I made a face too. "I'd say that qualifies as weird."

Sam nodded, and then we headed back to the motel opened the door to see a hunter with a beer in his hand. At first I thought about acting first and talking later, but no, Johnny trusted him. Whenever Johnny trusted someone, it was pretty obvious that that person was on our side…if only because so far he and I were on the same page.

"Travis!" Dean exclaimed, welcoming Travis who had beer in his hand. "See, Sam. Told you we should have hidden the beer."

"Smartass. Get over here!" Travis told him and hugged Dean. "Ohh, good to see you."

"You too." Dean replied and I smiled, Johnny in my arms sucking his thumb and looking around to see what was going on.

"Good to see you." Travis said while hugging Sam.

Sam smiled too. "You too, Travis."

"Man, you got tall, kid." Travis told Sam, and he laughed. "How long has it been?"

Sam shrugged a little. "Oh, got to be 10 years."

Travis nodded at him. "You still a…oh, what was it? A mathlete?"

"No." Sam answered.

"Yep, sure is." Dean replied.

Travis smiled. "Been too long, boys. I mean, look at you. Grown men. John would have been damn proud of you…sticking together like this."

"Yeah. Yeah, we're as thick as thieves. Nothing more important than family." Dean added, and then took my free hand. "Speaking of which…this is my wife, Lana, and our son, Johnny."

I rolled my eyes and held my hand out to Travis. "It's nice to meet you, Travis—I've heard stories."

Travis smiled at me. "All true I hope."

"I certainly hope so too." I replied to him. "This Kate Newman—my cousin."

"Trav and I know each other." Kate replied with a laugh, embracing him with a hug.

Travis nodded and hugged her back. "It's good to see you, Katie."

Sam, Dean and I were _all_ taken aback when the two embraced each other, wondering how in the world they knew each other. Yeah, Kate was a pretty famous hunter, but she'd actually hunted with _Travis_? With a man that Sam and Dean knew too and it was suddenly like she was part of the family. She was already as far as Sam was concerned, but they knew someone—knew someone before they knew each other.

"Katie helped me with a ghost problem." Travis said and then he looked at Johnny as Johnny smiled and then looked at Dean. "Wow…a wife and a kid? Never thought of you as the settling down type."

I laughed and nodded. "Well it's not exactly settling down when you hunt with your wife."

Travis pointed to Johnny. "So you hunt even with the kid?"

"Well…long story but Johnny's kind of…" I tried, but I trailed off and looked to Dean because I wanted to explain but what was I supposed to say? "So what can we help you with, Travis?"

I didn't like that I was flaking out, but I knew how upset Dean was right then already, and I didn't want to make it worse. Ten years later, one of his Dad's friends shows up and I didn't want to be the one to explain that Dean married a half-demon, witch…that wasn't my place. Besides, Travis was obviously here for a reason, so I handed Johnny to Dean, who gladly took him and I went to grab my duffle and head into the bathroom to change, listening to them talk through the door.

"Thanks for helping out an old man. I'm a little, uh, shorthanded." He told them and I assumed he was joking about the cast on his right arm. "So, you track down Montgomery?"

"Yeah, we found him at his home." Sam answered.

"And?" Travis asked him, wanting more details.

"Well, he had a Hell of a case of the munchies, topped off with a burger that he forgot to cook." Dean replied.

I came out of the bathroom as Travis nodded and responded, "That's him, alright."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "What's him?"

Travis took a breath as I took Johnny back. "Boys, we got a Rougarou on our hands."

"A Rougarou?" Dean repeated pretty surprised. "Is that made up? That sounds made up."

I shook my head. "No, actually. They're mean, nasty little suckers. They've got rotted teeth, wormy skin—the works."

Travis smiled at me. "I see what you see in her, Dean. Though she seems a little too smart to be with you. Sam, maybe but—"

"—well, that ain't this guy. I mean, he was wearing a cell phone on his belt." Dean said, changing the subject from Sam and me as I put Johnny in the basinet and set it by mine and Dean's motel bed, in between ours and Sam's and Kate's, then snuggled into the covers, smiling at my sleeping little baby boy. "Besides, Kate's with Sam."

"Jack'll turn ugly soon enough. They start out human, for all intents and purposes." Travis said after a pause, assessing Dean's behavior.

"So, what, they go through some kind of metamorphosis?" Sam asked Travis.

Kate nodded quickly. "Yep, like a maggot turning into a bull fly, but most of all, they're hungry."

Sam made a face. "Hungry for what?"

"At first, for everything, but then for long pig." Travis replied.

"Long pig?" Dean asked as a confused look crossing over his face.

I laughed and smiled at him. "Human flesh, Baby."

"And that is my word of the day." Dean replied and looked at me. "Thanks, Baby."

"Anytime." I told him with a smile.

Travis smiled a little too before continuing. "Hunger grows in till they can't fight it, till they got to take themselves a big, juicy chomp, and then it happens."

"What happens?" Sam asked him.

"They transform completely and fast." Travis explained. "One bite's all it takes—eyes, teeth, skin, all turns. No going back, either. They feed once, they're a monster forever. And our man Jack's headed there on a bullet train."

"Well, how'd you find this guy if he's a walking, talking human?" Dean asked him.

Kate nodded slowly. "Good question. He hasn't turned yet."

Travis nodded too. "Let's just say it runs in his family."

"You mean, uh…" Sam started asking.

"Killed his daddy back in '78. Son of a bitch mangled eight bodies before I put him down. Guy used to be a dentist. Cadillac, trophy wife. Little did I know, pregnant trophy wife. She put the boy up for adoption. By the time I found out, he was long gone, lost in the system." Travis explained to us.

"You mean to tell me you couldn't find someone?" Sam asked him skeptically, a small smile on his face.

"I'm not sure I wanted to. The idea of hunting down some poor kid…I don't think I'd have had the heart. No. Wanted to wait, make damn sure I had the right man. Apparently, I do." Travis replied with a nod.

I sat up a little. "Well…I guess that means that you guys need to go and see him them—I should stay with Johnny, but if you need me, call."

Travis raised an eyebrow. "And you'll what? Bring the kid out as bait or something to this flesh eating monster?"

I looked at Dean again who nodded this time for me to go ahead and say it. "Johnny makes force fields."

"Come again?" Travis asked me, raising his eyebrows, taken aback by the question.

"Long story short—I married a witch." Dean told Travis. "Johnny can do the kinds of things his mother can do already."

Travis nodded slowly. "I assume you made sure she was a good witch, then?"

"I'd hope that in almost four years of acquaintance, he'd have checked that out." I told Travis with a smile. "I promise—I'm harmless."

Travis nodded and then started to tell us all about how to kill Rougarous. He explained that fire was the way to go, and Sam left the room to grab something. Kate stayed with Travis and Dean and as Johnny stirred a little, I kissed his forehead, stroking his hair and humming a little. I wanted him to sleep as much as possible right then, and I was pretty glad that the boys had someone else to have their back.

"How the Hell did you end up with a woman like that?" I heard Travis whisper to Dean.

I smiled at Dean as he looked at me and smiled, and then winked at me. Even though he had been so upset before, he knew that Travis was proud of him for finding something all his own that he loved so much. Dean was happy and Travis was happy he was happy, and regardless of what had happened, Dean knew I was standing by his side and he wanted to let me know he still liked showing me off.

"I got lucky." Dean replied with a shrug.

"Oh, in more ways than one, Baby." I told him, winking at him too, Travis chuckling and then smiling at Dean when Dean looked back at him.

"So, fire, huh?" Dean asked Travis to get the subject back to the subject at hand.

"The only way I found to kill these bastards…deep-fry 'em." Travis replied, fiddling with his flame-thrower.

Dean nodded slowly. "Well, that's gonna be…horrible. Is that what you did to Jack's dad?"

"Uh-huh." Travis replied nodding.

"Not wasting any time, are you?" Sam asked as he entered the room and saw the flame throwers on the table.

"None to waste." Travis replied shrugging. "The guy hulks out, we won't be finding bodies, just remains."

Sam nodded a him. "What if he doesn't hulk out? I did a little homework. I've been checking out the lore on Rougarous."

Travis made a face. "What, my 30 years of experience not good enough for you?"

"What? No. No, I…I just wanted to be prepared. I mean, not that you didn't…" Sam tried, trying hard not to make Travis feel bad.

"Sammy loves research." Kate told Travis, smiling up at me as I came to sit at the table with them.

"He does. He keeps it under his mattress right next to his KY. It's a sickness. It is." Dean joked, laughing as I rolled my eyes.

Sam made a face then took a breath. "Look, everything you said checked out, of course, but, uh, I found a couple of interesting stories about people who have this Rougarou gene or whatever. See, they start to turn, but they never take the final step."

I looked at him. "Really?"

Sam nodded at me. "See, if they never eat human flesh, they don't fully transform."

"So, what? Go vegan, stay human?" Dean asked him.

Sam nodded again. "Basically. Or in this case, eat a lot of raw meat, just not—"

"—Long pig!" Dean exclaimed, cutting Sam off.

"Right." Sam replied as I giggled, Kate patting Dean's shoulder as she laughed too, glad to have him _not_ yelling at us all.

Travis nodded slowly. "Good on you for the due diligence, Sam, but those are fairy tales. Fact is every Rougarou I ever saw or heard of…took that bite."

"Okay, well, that doesn't mean that Jack will." Sam pointed out to him.

"So, what do we do? Sit and hope and wait for a body count?" Travis asked him.

"We could try talking to him. You know what I've noticed? You hunters never think to talk first—you just go in guns blazing." I said with a laugh.

"Lan's right—we talk to him; explain what's happening. That way, he can fight it." Sam told Travis.

Travis scoffed at that. "Fight it? Are you kidding me? You ever been really hungry? I mean, haven't-eaten-in-days hungry?"

"Yeah." Dean answered, and I had to smile because only Dean would answer that and then get that look on his face—that 'I'm hungry now' look.

Travis nodded at him. "Yeah…right, then. Somebody slaps a big, juicy sirloin in front of you, you walking away? That's what we are to him now, meat on legs. I'm sorry. I'm sure he's a stand-up guy, but it's pure, base instinct. Everything in nature's got to eat. You think he can stop himself 'cause he's nice?"

Sam shrugged. "I don't know, but we're not gonna kill him unless he does something to get killed for."

With that, Sam handed me a Milky Way he'd brought back from the vending machine for me, and left the room. Kate sighed and followed him out, and I just kind of looked at the candy bar and set it down, swallowing. Dean was getting a look on his face because we now had something else to talk about and I wasn't ready—what had Sam been _thinking_?

"What's up with your brother, and why did he hand your wife a candy bar?" Travis asked Dean.

Dean sighed and shook his head. "Don't get me started…and Lanni craves Milky Ways when she's pregnant."

Travis turned to me. "Another one?"

"No…he prolly just hit the wrong button and knew I liked them so…I'm not pregnant, promise." I said, but I knew that part of it was that he knew I was hiding something from him…and that was his biggest pet peeve right now.

"We can do this in the morning, right?" Dean asked Travis.

Travis sighed loudly. "He could snap at any moment."

I snuggled under the covers in the bed. "You're probably going to need Sammy."

"Lanni's right." Dean said pointing to me, glad to now have an actual excuse.

"Fine." Travis replied annoyed. "Bright and early—so if your wife solicits you for anything…try to keep it quick."

"How romantic." I said with a laugh.

Travis smiled at me. "It really was nice to meet you, Lana."

I sat up and smiled at Travis. "You too, Travis."

Travis left the motel room with a wave, and then Dean changed into boxers, and stopped unbuttoning his shirt when I protested and got out of bed. He kind of gave me a look but I knew at the same time he was happy to be solicited—mad or not. The two of us just kind of stood there for a moment and then a playful look crossed my face and I smiled at him.

"Do you know nothing of your wife?" I asked him as I rolled my eyes playfully.

Dean chuckled and rolled his eyes too. "Lanni…though I am still terribly mad at you, would you like to unbutton my shirt for me?"

I made a face. "No…I'm gonna let you be mad at me."

Dean rolled his eyes and kissed me. "Unbutton my shirt or I'll be more upset with you."

"Well if it makes you happier with me…" I said playfully, unbuttoning his shirt and sliding it off of him. "My, my, my, I do declare! Is that a t-shirt draped over the frame of my beautiful man?"

Dean laughed at me. "So now you're Southern, are you?"

"Oh the darndest, most prettiest Southern Belle you eva laid your darn beautiful eyes on!" I replied, giggling as he kissed me and we backed up towards the bed.

Our kisses became a little more passionate, and as we situated under the covers, Dean on top of me. I moaned a little as his body moved a little against mine, and then I shook my head. He stroked my hair and I knew he wanted to ask me questions too, but I didn't want him to ask me anything—I just wanted to make him understand that I wanted this but we totally couldn't do this right now.

"We can't…Johnny's right next to us, sleeping." I told Dean softly, pointing to our son, sleeping in his basinet.

"We could be quiet, couldn't we?" Dean pleaded softly.

I pondered it a moment. "I guess we could be quiet—unless _you're_ gonna get really loud or something."

"Oh so there's absolutely no way _I_ could make _you_ be the loud one?" Dean asked, eyebrows raised.

I shook my head. "Not if you want a quiet quickie right now, Dean Winchester."

Dean nodded and smirked. "Then it's settled, Lana Winchester—one quiet quickie coming right up."

Dean kissed me again, me taking Dean's shirt off, and him playing with the straps of my tank top, Sam walking in. We both looked up and I blushed as Kate came in right behind him and started to laugh. She totally knew what we were going to do and she understood Sam's little stunt from before and I knew he was right…someday Dean was going to find out so he needed to find out from _me_…not from anyone else.

"Oh my God—are you two about to have sex right next to your son's crib?" Sam asked in a shocked voice.

Dean and I looked at Sam. "What? No."

"Of course not." I said as Dean rolled his eyes at his brother. "Dean's just…putting his shirt on."

"What Lanni means is that we were totally gonna have a quiet quickie next to our son's crib." Dean said lying on his side next to me. "But you two came in."

Sam nodded at me. "Well we're going to go to sleep, so you can definitely not have that quickie now."

Dean and I laughed a little as Sam and Kate got ready for bed and then kissed Johnny's cheeks and crawled into their motel bed, holding each other close. Then Sam turned off the light on the nightstand in between the beds, and I giggled a little as I tried to snuggle up against Dean.

"Do you have a roll of quarters in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" I asked him, trying not to laugh but I couldn't help it—it was too funny.

Dean chuckled and kissed my neck swiftly. "Oh, I'm happy to see you."

Sam sighed loudly. "Enough."

I giggled and shrugged. "Sorry, Sammy—you just caught him when he was up and ready."

I laughed as Dean nodded and Sam sighed again, and then when the ruckus died down and Dean wasn't really in the mood anymore, he held me and we fell asleep peacefully, only to wake up the next morning to Johnny whimpering a little. Kate groaned but then just turned over and put the pillow over her head, covering her ears. Our son needed us but I thought it was Dean's turn—I'd been changing and feeding him the most lately and Dean was all freshly back from Hell, sure but…it was definitely his turn.

"He needs a diaper change." I said, turning to put my face in the pillow. "Please, Dean."

Dean sighed loudly. "You do it—you're his mother."

"You do it—you're his father." I shot back softly.

"I have to do a hunt today." Dean reminded me.

I sat up and gave him a look. "Fine—but you had better not get into a habit of using that excuse or it will no longer be a working excuse."

I got up and changed Johnny's diaper and then took Johnny out for a walk and brought back coffee and random breakfast items. Sam, Dean, Kate and I had a little breakfast and chatted a little, Travis showing up and smiling at the five of us. We smiled back up at him, glad to see him and yet I knew the boys were leaving with him and Kate and I'd have to stay behind with Johnny…too much to explain if _I_ had to use my powers, and none of us wanted that.

"Time to go." Travis told us.

I pouted as I sipped my coffee. "It's going to be weird to not actually be in on a hunt."

"Looks like the little tyke is already putting shapes in the right holes on those toys—how old is he?" Travis asked me.

I looked at Johnny sitting on the blanket with a smile on his face playing with his toes and then beamed a little at my little genius. He really was a fast learner and he stood up, taking steps over to a toy and then plopping down, making me smile. Johnny was my little blonde miracle and I was glad that others were doting on him—he deserved it.

"He's only ten months old." I replied with a grin. "He's my little genius."

"Wow." Travis said, impressed. "He definitely had to have gotten his brains from you."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Let's go."

I nodded and kissed Dean as he kissed me goodbye. "I'll pack to move on while you guys are gone—please be careful."

"Promise." Dean replied, and then the four of them were out the door.

I watched Johnny for a little while and then read to him and played with him—I even caught up with Jen before I started to get worried and left messages on Sam's and Dean's phones. When it had been a few hours and I'd heard nothing, I was dialing Bobby's number before Kate, Sam and Dean walked in the door sporting new wounds.

"Thank God!" I replied, throwing my arms around Dean, and then hitting his arm when I pulled away. "No one could pick up a phone and call me on the car ride back here? I've been worried sick!"

Sam went straight over to grab his bag and check to make sure everything was packed, and Dean looked at me. I knew instantly that something was wrong and I bit my lip because there was something up he didn't really want to deal with. Then I realized that I hadn't asked about Travis—he was definitely not with them…so where was he?

"Where's Travis?" I asked him.

Dean shook his head sadly. "Travis didn't make it. I'm pretty sure that he threatened Jack and his wife, and so Jack went ballistic and ate him."

I nodded slowly as I let it all sink in. "So…did you find his wife?"

"Why?" Sam asked me.

"Well if Travis threatened his wife…she was probably pregnant." I replied with a soft shrug. "Isn't that how we got Jack in the first place? Travis made the mistake once and you can be _sure_ that he wouldn't make that same mistake again."

Dean sighed loudly. "Son of a bitch…too bad. I'm not going to hunt down his pregnant wife and kill her. What the Hell?"

I kissed Dean softly as I nodded and then Dean picked up Johnny and we headed out to the car. Dean got Johnny into the car seat without a hitch that time, and then we all got back onto the road and Johnny started to fall asleep as the car drove along. I smiled a little at the effect that cars had on babies, and then looked up as Dean spoke.

"You did the right thing, you know. That guy was a monster. There was no going back. Sam, I want to tell you I'm sorry. I've been kind of hard on you lately." Dean told Sam.

"Don't worry about it, Dean." Sam replied shaking his head.

Dean took a deep breath. "It's just that your, uh, your psychic thing…it scares the crap out of me. Especially when I hear about you doing it too, Lanni—our son has demon blood in him too…it's only a matter of time before he can do more than make force fields."

Dean didn't even really understand how right he was about that—Johnny already could if he wanted. Raising him was going to be hard, but I knew that he had it in him to be good I just had to make sure I raised him right. Still, it wasn't time to talk to Dean about that…there were so many other things that Dean had to understand first and foremost.

Sam sighed dismally. "If it's all the same, I'd really rather not talk about it."

"Me neither, actually." I admitted to him.

Dean scoffed a little. "Wait a minute. What? You two don't want to talk? You two?"

Sam shrugged as I rolled my eyes. "There's nothing more to say. I can't keep explaining myself to you. I can't make you understand."

"Why don't you try?" Dean asked Sam as I sat in the back quietly.

"Because he can't _make_ you understand." Kate told him. "_You _have to be _open_ to the idea, Dean."

"This thing, this blood…it's not in you the way it's in me. It's just something I got to deal with—it's something Lanni has to deal with because she's got a way higher dosage than I do. I mean, Hell—she had two personalities for awhile!" Sam exclaimed to his brother.

Dean sighed loudly. "You two don't have to deal with it alone."

Sam shrugged at him. "Anyway, it doesn't matter. These powers…it's playing with fire. I'm done with them. I'm done with everything."

"I'm not promising not to use my powers, Dean…that's not a good idea—we saw how that played out when Dark Lana came out to play. However, I'll cut down my usage of them." I told him slowly.

Dean nodded. "Well either way, Lanni, that's a relief, thank you…and thank _you_, Sammy."

"Don't thank me. I'm not doing it for you. Or for the angels or for anybody—this is my choice." Sam replied, looking at the reflection in his window.

Dean looked at him and then back at the road, and I leaned against the window and closed my eyes. Things between the four of us would never be the same again…but at least my husband was trying to understand—no matter how against it he was. Then suddenly my phone rang and my heart stopped as I looked at the cover.

"Pull over." I said suddenly.

Kate made a face and looked at me. "What is it?"

"Dean, just pull over." I replied quickly.

Dean did as I told him and I hurried out of the car, answering the phone and walking away from the Impala. Everyone was confused—except Johnny who was sleeping—and I was all right with that because right now everything was coming back to bite me in the ass. This was something I was paying for and I was going to pay for it eventually…it was something I couldn't take back and I knew I wouldn't even if I could.

"I've been looking for you since I made the deal, Mom." I told her, answering the phone.

"I know you have, Kidlet." Mom replied taking a breath. "Look, I've been doing some things since you brought me back and it's about time we met up to go over my findings…there are things you need to know."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, Mom…yeah, I know. I need you, Mommy."

"Come alone, Kidlet…you know where." She explained to me and when I promised she hung up and so did I, turning to look at Kate, Sam and Dean, who were leaning on the car…what in the world was I supposed to tell them?

**Note: Oh snaps! Questions will be answered soon, I promise. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	73. Betrayals and Bad Communication

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay, so this chapter is pretty…involved, I guess.**

**Since I'm babysitting all the rest of this week from 8-6, I will have a little time to write and then hopefully to post the next chapter Saturday when I have the Internet again.**

**There is a **_**lot**_** in this chapter—mostly explanations, and some "romantic situations", plus I have flashbacks planned for next chapter.**

**Those of you who follow my YT, this is where Dean does something that you're going to get mad at him for, and in the next chapter Annie confronts him about it.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

"So what was that about?" Dean asked me as I made my way over to the car.

I swallowed and put my hands in my pockets. "Look, I don't this is the time or the place to talk about this. I have a _lot_ to explain and even _I_ don't have all of the answers."

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm about to be upset with you, again?" Dean asked in a tired voice.

"Because you're good at sensing things like that." I told him, getting into the backseat and looking at Johnny.

I knew that I shouldn't have made the deal—I had no excuses for it, no matter how I had been feeling about Dean's death and my loneliness. Because of my deal, I was going to die in ten years, and I'd be leaving Johnny with Dean. I hadn't known that when I made the deal, however. I hadn't expected Dean to come back…I was simply going to leave Johnny to Kate and Sam.

We were all pretty silent on our way to the house, everyone thinking about their own things and not wanting to speak to anyone else. Kate seemed weary of both Dean _and_ Sam, Dean didn't want to deal with anything that regarded mine and Sam's powers, and I didn't want to have to explain things yet. There was still so much that even _I_ didn't know, but I knew that Mom was going to tell me soon.

"We're here." Dean said as he parked the car in the driveway.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah…I'll get Johnny out and to bed and uh…then we'll talk in the living room. If Annie and Penn aren't up, Annie at least needs to be."

"I'm not going to like this." Dean told me dismally, getting out of the car and running his hand down his face.

"No…no you're really _not_." I replied as I held a sleeping Johnny to me. "None of you are actually if I'm being honest here, but let's just talk about it when Johnny's down. Kate? Can you get Annie for me? I really need to reiterate how important it is that she's here for this discussion. I just…get Annie—Penn can stay sleeping if he so wishes because it really doesn't have anything to do with him."

Kate nodded at me and went for Annie's room as I went to the nursery, Dean following me in there. I laid Johnny down and ran my fingers over his head, Dean coming up behind me and resting his chin in the crook of my neck, kissing my jaw and taking a deep breath. He wanted so badly to ask me what was going on right then and there, but he didn't even know where to start. He was just going to let me tell him with everyone in the living room, and then he'd get to talk to me one on one later.

We both leaned down and kissed Johnny's forehead, heading out of the room and going down to the living room. Dean sat on the couch and ran his hand down his face, Kate and Sam looking at us and trying to figure out what I was going to say, Annie bringing us all coffee. She had a feeling too that what I was going to say was bad, and she wasn't sure she was going to be able to handle it now that she was _finally_ happy.

While Dean was gone we had all tried our best to live somewhat normal lives…until Ruby convinced Sam that he should use his powers. Now we were back into hunting, but I knew that Annie wanted to stay as far away from it as possible no matter what. There was no way that even _with_ Mom back Annie was going to take time out to hunt demons. She was done with that and even though Penn hadn't proposed yet, she was willing to give up _anything_ to have a life with him.

"I made a crossroads deal when Dean was gone." I told them after Annie settled down in the lazy boy chair.

Dean's eyes were on me first. "What?"

"Annie and Penn were on vacation, Kevin took Jen and the girls on a trip because he was home for the first time in a long while, Kate and Sam were away, Paige is dead—I was in a really bad place and I just needed my Mom." I said with a shrug, flinching a little when Dean stood up. "I'm not trying to condone what I did, but nevertheless I did it, it's done and I have things I have to do now."

"After that huge speech about how I was being selfish and how I shouldn't have even _thought_ about bringing my father back and you just brought your _mother_ back?" Dean asked me angrily, raising his voice. "You signed away your _soul_ and gave up your future with your _son_ just to bring back your _mother_? What about Bobby? What about Ellen? YOU COULD HAVE RUN TO ONE OF THEM!"

Sam looked at his hands and Kate placed one of her on his, both of them trying hard to stay out of the conversation. Annie had tears in her eyes and I knew she was conflicted—she was glad to have Mom back, but she really didn't want to have to deal with the fact that ten years from now I was going to meet the same fate that Dean had met. I was going to be ripped apart by Hellhounds and then I'd be down on the rack…forever.

"Dean, she's a key." I tried, sliding my fingers up into my hair and holding it, my arms in the air—I didn't know what to do.

Dean looked at me, _completely_ livid. "I DON'T FUCKING CARE! Damn-it, Lana! DAMN-IT! You don't have any idea what it's like in Hell!"

"Well maybe someone will bring me back and I won't have to remember." I told him crossing my arms over my chest and looking at him.

He still didn't want anyone to know that he remembered Hell—that part of him had enjoyed ripping all of those souls apart. I understood that, and I understood that I was going to go through what he went through without a choice…I was pretty sure that when I went down there, I was going to be down there for good. I just needed my mother, and I needed all of the knowledge that he held. She was the key…she was the key and I had to get Dean to understand that we needed her—that she would help us with Lilith.

"I'm done." Dean said suddenly, heading towards the front door. "I'm simply done."

I closed my eyes and put my hands in my back pockets. "Please don't just walk out, Dean."

"I don't know when I'll be back—don't wait for me." Dean replied, not looking at us. "I'm sick and tired of what's going on around here."

We all just stayed where we were and then slowly began to exchange looks and I could feel all of the stares on me. They were coming to terms with what I had done and they were _all_ upset with me. It was almost as bad as when I had told Jen what I had done—Jen had me reduced to tears within five minutes of telling her and then we just held each other all night and reminisced about the old days.

"How could you do this, Lan?" Sam asked me, standing up slowly and coming over to me, wrapping his arms around me.

I smiled sadly and shrugged a little, burying my face into his chest. "How could you trust Ruby?"

"Lan, this is completely different and you _know_ that." Sam told me, kissing the top of my head and running his hand along my back. "Lan, what were you thinking when you did this? What about Johnny? What were you going to do when the time came for you to die? He'd only be ten!"

"Honestly?" I asked him, pulling back a little and looking at him and then at Kate. "I was going to give him to you and Kate…you guys would take care of him."

"Lanni…" Kate said softly.

Kate took a breath and shook her head, coming over and joining the hug, Annie joining in on it too. They all just wanted to be close to me and I got that, knowing that when I told Bobby, he was going to have a cow. I shouldn't have done it and yet…and yet I knew that I would have done it again if given the choice because there was so much that I needed to know—so much that I needed to learn. That made me a terrible person and a terrible mother, but this was a time of war and I needed as much information as I could get my hands on.

"Your son would want _you_…not Sam and I." Kate told me, stroking my hair. "You're an idiot—even though I understand why you brought Aunt Flor back."

Sam nodded slowly in agreement. "She knows a lot about how it all started."

"Do you know where she is?" Annie asked me.

"Yeah…I just have to go alone first and then she'll slowly integrate herself back into our lives. Right now Mom and I have things to talk about so I should go, I just…I wanted you guys to know." I told them with a shrug, smiling at them and giving them all hugs. "I love you all, all right? I'll be back soon and uh, if Dean comes back…_if_ he comes back just tell him I'll be back before it's _too_ late."

They nodded and promised to do just that but I was pretty sure Dean was out for the entire night. In fact if he went to a bar and he got himself drunk enough, he would probably have some fling with a bartender or a slutty drunk chick and then we'd have even _more_ to fight about. I realized as I headed to where I knew Mom would be that Dean and I were broken…and there was nothing that either of us could do to get this back no matter how hard we tried—we just weren't the same people anymore.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

The first thing I did was head to the nearest bar to try and run everything over in my mind because I was upset. How could she do that to me? How could she do that to _Johnny_? I understood that I wasn't around and I understood that she was lonely but _what was she thinking_? She had been so upset with me for what I had been doing to her the whole year that we were counting down to me going to Hell and now she'd done this.

Yes, Florence was an important part of the puzzle—I got that. She was in the past with my parents...she was a hunter with my mother. I had seen how the two of them competed against each other, and how happy she truly was for my mother. She wanted her to have a normal life if she so wished—even if it was more because _she_ wanted to be the "big hunter on campus". I really didn't understand why Lana thought that this war was more important than her own life—I really wanted her to put _herself_ first…then again that was probably what she wanted from _me_.

"You look upset." A female voice said, and I looked up just in time to see an attractive blonde sit down next to me.

I sipped my beer. "You could say that."

"Anything I can help you out with?" She asked me, a smile on her face.

"I don't think I'm drunk enough to accept." I admitted to her. "It has nothing to do with you it's just that I'm married."

I held my left hand up and she nodded as she looked at the finger that held my wedding band and I glanced at it too. Truth of the matter was that as much as I loved my wife, I was sick and tired of all of the lying that was going on and if I got drunk enough, I'd let this infidelity happen. Things were so different than they had been before I had died and I didn't fit in anymore…no one acted like my opinions even mattered anymore.

"So it's trouble on the home front, huh?" She asked me, ordering me another drink.

I smirked a little and looked at her. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Well I'm all ears—I'm a good listener." She explained with a wink.

"I bet you are…when you _have_ to be." I replied with a chuckle.

She laughed and nodded at me, smiling a bit and listening to me as I explained that I'd been gone for a while. I told her that I had come back and everything was different, and my family was keeping huge secrets from me. Johnny wasn't even brought up because I could tell from the way she tried to comfort me that she might give up trying to win me over if she knew I had a kid at home.

"Four years is a lot of memories to just give up on." She told me, tracing my earlobes with her finger.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…yeah it is…at the same time I feel like this is my only way to get back at her—show her that I'm angry."

"Maybe…but you're hesitant about it." She said with a shrug. "You don't really want to."

"I love her." I admitted slowly. "I love her, but she's hurt me so bad that I don't know what else to do at this point. I just feel like I'm done with _all_ of it and I dunno what else to do. She shouldn't have kept so much from me, you know?"

The woman next to me nodded and began to slide her fingers through my hair and honestly it felt nice. For some reason I felt like _she_ was paying attention to me. On some level I had just expected Lana to come after me, but she didn't. She didn't want to have anything to do with me after I yelled at her and I didn't get it. Why did she think that she got to get away with this and I didn't when _I_ did it?

"Do you want another beer, or do you want to go back home to your wife?" She asked me slowly, looking me in the eye.

I smiled a little. "Another beer sounds good."

"I'm glad you chose that." She admitted with a soft laugh.

"Me too." I replied with a nod, drinking the new beer that was set in front of me.

There was no way that I was going to leave here without at least flirting a little more even though I was beginning to feel guilty. The alcohol was supposed to make me _okay_ with this…it wasn't supposed to make me think more about it all. I wasn't supposed to think about how much warmer Lana's laugh…how much more beautiful her hair was…how perfect Lana was to me in every way—and this woman just wasn't my wife.

"What's a woman like you doing trolling bars?" I asked her with a laugh, having another beer.

She shrugged and ran her finger along her beer mug. "I'm just looking for a pick-me up. It's been a long few months and I want back on the horse."

"This stallion's been ridden by one mare since he got paired off." I admitted to her, looking her in the eye. "I'm willing to change that though…"

"I was really hoping you'd say that." She told me, her whole face lighting up.

I just smiled back and then finished off my beer and we headed out to the car. She immediately set to praising it, but it just wasn't the same—Lana at least knew enough about it to have me turned on by this point. I started to feel like I was almost trying to force it when we made it to her apartment complex and she kissed me. It was nice enough, honestly, but I wasn't completely into it.

She moved her lips against mine with purpose and I just reciprocated the movements, not really putting any feeling behind it. Then she ran her fingers through my hair and the moment her hand went down towards my belt I started to feel sick to my stomach. It was _wrong_ to be getting _this_ close to a woman who was Lana…it was making me feel _physically_ sick to my stomach.

Damn, Lana for this! Damn her for making me let my walls down and let her in! Damn her for making me fall in love with her and hurt when I wasn't with her! Damn her for letting _me_ in, and for making me feel like I deserved her! Damn her for lying to me and then forcing me to get out of the house! Damn myself for letting this random woman get her hand into my pants and touch me in places only Lana should get to touch.

"I don't…I don't think I can do this." I murmured cursing myself for being a man and starting to enjoy what was happening to me.

She didn't let up. "Just stop thinking so much—you'll be fine."

"No, I just—hey…I can't do this." I told her, freeing myself from her and fastening my pants back up. "I'm sorry, I just…I can't do this to her."

"Someday she'll push you far enough that it'll get easier." She said softly, fixing her hair and moving towards the door. "When that day comes I won't be here."

I just nodded and picked my jacket up off of the floor, putting it off and leaving without another word. For some reason I actually felt violated—I felt sorry for the woman I'd just left because she was all right being someone's way to get through their pain. _I_ used to be that person—I used to be the guy that was _looking_ for vulnerable women because it would make them feel better for a bit, and it would get me laid. Then Lana happened…_that_ was why I was so upset.

How did she expect me to live without her? How did she expect me to just _accept_ this? When she died, she left me alone and I couldn't handle it—I _needed_ her, and I needed her to _understand_ that I needed her. She couldn't just leave me alone with Johnny and go to Hell. I had _been_ in Hell and it was _not_ a nice place to be. I didn't want Lana to have to go through what it was that I went through…but I couldn't _talk_ to her about it. I wasn't the kind of man that she wanted to have raising our kid—even if he was also _my_ kid to raise.

It wasn't time for me to go home yet…home. Lana's house was the _only_ place that I had _ever_ called home. Sure I had a home before my mother was taken from me by Lana's father, but I had grown accustomed to being with Lana…being with her at _our home_. Until my head was clearer, I was going to drive around for a while because I had to think about…I had a lot to accept. She didn't do it to hurt everyone around her—it was _that_ that was making it all hard for me to accept. So I just got into the Impala and drove.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Mom embraced me tightly when she saw me, taking a deep breath and kissing my cheek as she pulled back, looking me over. When I'd brought her back, I had gone to go and see her, but she called me to tell me she knew what I had done and she had some things to take care of. She understood what was happening with me, and she understood that I needed answers and she wanted to get some for me. I was grateful to her and _for_ her, and I knew that she was pretty excited to be alive—even though it had cost me a price.

"There's my baby girl." Mom said, tucking some hair behind my ears. "You're incredibly sad right now…you told them, I take it?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, and then Dean stormed out. I'm pretty sure he's off having a beer, maybe flirting…I don't think he'll actually _cheat_ though. He'll think about it, but he won't actually go through with it."

"He loves you too much?" Mom asked me with a soft laugh.

"More like it would be too much for him to feel guilty about." I told her with a shrug. "I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he wants to be far, _far_ away from me after I get back home."

Mom nodded slowly and then crossed her arms over her chest, taking a deep breath and looking me over. I was different from the last time that she had seen me, but at the same time I was very much the same. She wanted so badly for me to not have to embrace who I was, but she knew this time was going to come sooner or later and right now, she knew I had to become what the demons wanted…that thought scared me.

"You're not going to like what I'm going to say to you, Kidlet." Mom explained to me, shaking her head slowly.

I swallowed and nodded slowly. "I'm pretty sure you're right about that. I know what I have to do to embrace my powers…I know why the demons want Johnny and I know why the angels are weary of people like me."

"It's because of all the power that you have. When you were little I kept you pretty cut off from your powers—it was the only way to keep the angels away from you. Then when I realized that your father wanted to use you for a more sinister plan…I panicked and I gave you up to Bethany and Marcus." Mom told me, stroking my hair. "I left completely when I was sure that you and Annie had forgotten you had powers…eventually I knew your father would find you and now this—now we're standing close to the eve of using them…of finalizing all of his plans."

"What exactly _are_ his plans, Mom?" I asked her slowly. "Why did you ever love him?"

Mom stroked my cheek with her thumb. "You can't choose who you love, Sweetheart—love just happens. Just like Dean couldn't choose, and just like you couldn't. You fell in love with each other even though he was the kind of guy you used to avoid, and even though you're the kind of thing that he would normally have to hunt. Love kind of cancels out everything else. That's just the way that it works, and by now I'd think that you know that. As to Azazel's plan…well there was a reason that he started to create a psychic army. He has _always_ been working for Lilith—she's like the top dog, and everyone else follows her. All this pitting demons against each other is a bunch of bullshit. I don't know how, but the psychics are part of this final plan to raise Lucifer. And _that_, Sweetheart, is something that you _have_ to stop."

"I'm going to stop it if I can, Mom—I _promise_ you that. I want to be done with _all_ of this. I want to finish this, and I want to take Johnny far, _far_ away and try to live a normal life. Get a job, raise him up, send him to school. I want Dean to be part of it all I just…I have to make sure that he _wants_ to be part of it…someday I want a house full of kids someplace where he can work at a garage he wants to work at and we can deal with report cards and boo-boos and I just…what if this is the final straw? What if he's done?" I asked her and then I shook my head when she opened her mouth to speak. "No, no—that's not important. What's important is figuring out Lilith's plan."

Mom nodded at me and told me there was a way to figure it out, but she wasn't sure _exactly_ what it was. There was _one_ thin she was sure about though: I was going to have to have a meeting with Lilith. In fact the moment I was completely able to tap into my powers, I might have to align myself with her in order to figure out how to stop her and in turn find a way to _stop_ her.

"Dean might take that as the ultimate betrayal…I wouldn't be able to tell him my plan." I said slowly, looking at my mother.

She nodded slowly. "You wouldn't be able to tell _anyone_…not even Jen."

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

"Sammy," I giggled as he kissed my neck, "I'm worried about Lana and Dean."

Sam nodded as he kissed my neck some more, both of us naked and holding each other close. The two of us had both been pretty upset, but at the same time the two of us knew we wanted to be close to each other, so one thing had led to another and here we were, post sex cuddling. We seemed to always end up in this position and honestly? Honestly I didn't mind being in this situation in the slightest because I was with Sam—I was close to him and that was _all_ that mattered.

"You know they'll work through it—they work through _everything_ no matter _how_ bad it gets." Sam explained, biting my neck softly and then kissing my lips swiftly. "Have I told you today that I love you?"

I smiled at him and shook my head. "Actually, no. I know you do, though."

"It's not the same as _saying_ it, Katie." He said as he stroked my hair, resting his forehead against mine. "I love you—I can't imagine my life without you."

"I don't deserve you." I told him, kissing him softly and running my hand down his torso to his thigh, spreading my legs and pulling him closer.

"Are you kidding me?" He asked, grunting a little as I wrapped my hand around the length of him.

I smiled and tugged on him a little. "I love you too, you know."

He nodded and bit my bottom lip gently. "I know."

I laughed a little as her gripped my hip and pulled my body close to his, nipping at my jaw and then slowly moving my hand. Then he pushed inside and I moaned, running my hand up his arm to grip his shoulder as he moved against me. The fingers of my other hand slid into his hair, pulling it a little as I moved my body at the same pace that he set, smiling a little as he whispered nothing but endearing and slightly dirty comments until I hit my breaking point. He followed soon after and then pulled out, stroking my hair and kissing me gently, running his nose along mine.

"I'm like putty in your hands." I said with a laugh, trying to catch my breath as he held me in his arms.

Sam rolled his eyes as he tried to take even breaths. "Yeah, because _you_ don't _ever_ initiate _anything_."

"Of course I don't!" I laughed, kissing him tenderly. "I'm totally innocent like _all_ the time. You've corrupted me."

"I think it's the other way around." Sam replied, kissing me back and holding me close to him, running his knuckles along my arm. "I really don't think I can be away from you, Katie—what can I do to deserve you?"

I rolled my eyes and kissed him again, stroking his hair and then his cheeks, pouring myself into him. Sam meant everything to me and even though I wasn't exactly _pleased_ with what was going on with Ruby and with Lana, I knew that I could trust Sam. He was _helping_ people and yeah, the angels were upset, but everyone was upset about things they couldn't understand. Everyone was worried about Lana embracing her true potential too…except for Castiel…why was that?

Lana was special—she was half demon and half human, and that was a kind of power that even _angels_ were afraid of. She was sort of like the antichrist, only Aunt Florence was able to control her powers through witchcraft, which was rare, but she had that kind of power. It was why Azazel had chosen her in the first place—it wasn't about love, or about infatuation…it was about power.

"What if Lana and Dean _can't_ fix this?" I asked Sam slowly, running my thumb along his lips as I cupped his face.

Sam took a deep breath and stroked my hair. "If they can't fix things after everything they've been through, there is no hope for the rest of us."

"I agree with this." I told him honestly, kissing him again. "I'm worried about what Cas said, but at the same time, I don't think that you should do anything just because you're _told_ to. They don't know what it's like to have demon blood in them—they're just afraid of your power. Do what _you_ want to do, Sammy. I'm going to stand by you no matter _what_ you choose and I want you to be aware of that, all right? I'm always going to be here for you, right by your side."

"And I'm always going to be here for you…no matter what, forever." Sam replied, and I knew that he meant it.

I smiled and kissed him again, snuggling up against him and kissing his chest gently as he held me, both of us a little exhausted. We both hoped that Lana and Dean would be able to patch things up because we knew that they both needed and depended upon each other. There was little that Sam and I could do to help them, but at the moment it was about us…it was about us and I felt safe and at home in Sam's arms. For the first time ever, I wanted a future with a man—for the first time ever I wanted some semblance of a normal life, but I knew that at this rate, I wasn't going to get to have one.

"I love you, Sam." I whispered to him, pulling the covers up a little more and wrapping my arms around him.

Sam kissed my head, a smile on his face as he turned out the light and held me too. "I love you too, Kate."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

By the time I got home from talking with my mother, I expected Dean to be home too, but he wasn't. The house was silent because every sane person was sleeping at this hour, and after checking on Johnny, I went to mine and Dean's room and got reading for bed, pulling on some pajama pants and a tank top. Then I let my hair down and turned out the light, crawling into bed and realizing that I couldn't sleep without knowing where Dean was…what if I had been wrong?

I had so much trust in him that I was _certain_ that he wouldn't cheat on me…but what if he _would_? What if this was that one thing that would push him so far over the edge that he was going to do something I couldn't forgive him for? There was no way that I was going to maintain a relationship where my doing something hurtful meant that Dean got to go out and do whatever he wanted…not if it meant adultery.

Deep down I knew that I deserved to be punished for what I had done, but I didn't deserve to have my husband sleep with someone else—even if technically we weren't married anymore. I didn't like to think about it like that because yeah, Dean had died, and the vows were "till death do we part", but he had been brought back _to me_. He had a part in this upcoming war, sure, but didn't that mean anything? Castiel had said specifically that I had to see what was happening in Hell because Dean had to be able to have someone to talk to about it so he could cope.

I looked up as I heard the bedroom door open, Dean coming in and shutting the door behind him quietly. He nodded at me slowly because he had obviously expected me to be asleep and he was kind of hoping to come home, slip into bed and then talk to me about things in the morning. Where had he run off to? Was he upset that I went to talk to my mother instead of going after him? What had he done? Were we over?

"I'm glad you're safe and in one piece." I told him gently, turning so that I was lying on my back and I watched him as he changed.

He was still my Dean, and I knew somehow that even if he _did_ cheat on me, someday I would be able to at least discuss it with him. After all _I_ had been the one to push him out of the house with my overwhelming news about my deal. On the one hand if he cheated on me I was going to hold this against him for a _long_ time and it was in _no_ way my fault—that much I understood, but on the other hand, I couldn't just up and leave him because he needed me…he needed me and I loved him to much to leave him and just let him fall.

"Mom's going to keep in contact, and she told me to tell you that she's sorry…she's sorry that I made the deal to bring her back and brought you this much grief." I explained as he went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth with the door open. "I'm sorry I made you so upset too, but I'm not sorry I brought her back—we all need her for one reason or another and if she helps us to stop Lilith then so be it."

Dean was still pretty much giving me the silent treatment and I couldn't blame him—I never really _completely_ got over him signing away his soul. I knew that someday I was going to die and end up handing Johnny over to Dean full time and he just wasn't ready for that. Someday though…someday maybe he would be. Someday maybe Lilith would be dead and he and I would get to have that normal life that we both deserved…maybe someday we'd find a way to get me out of this—it just wasn't the top priority.

"I'm sorry I've done this to you, Dean." I told him, turning back over on my side, my back facing the bathroom door as he turned out the light. "You don't have to talk to me, I just want you to know that I'm still here for you."

Dean took a deep breath as he crawled into bed in the dark. "You shouldn't still be here for me."

"Of course I should be." I responded almost automatically.

"I almost cheated on you tonight with some random chick at a bar whose name I don't even know nor did I care to ask." Dean explained, slipping his arms around me.

"I knew you'd think about it, but you wouldn't _actually_ cheat." I said softly, wishing the words hadn't hurt me so much.

He nodded and rested his lips against my ear. "Because you know I love you too much?"

"Because I know you can't handle anymore guilt on your conscience." I replied quickly.

Dean and I were both silent for a moment as we let the conversation sink in and I knew that we were both in a pretty bad mood. He had actually thought about cheating on me and my faith in him wasn't in our love for each other…it was in the things that Dean and I had to carry around. There was so much going on with each of us that the minute Dean runs off to go and get himself trashed and laid by the first thing that hits on him, was the minute I ran off to talk to my mother whom I'd sold my soul to and I trusted in guilt…what did that say about our relationship?

"When did we become so broken, Lana?" Dean asked me softly. "I mean I _wanted_ to cheat on you—I wanted to come home tomorrow and see the pain on your face when I told you I slept with someone else just because I was mad…you don't deserve that."

I shook my head slowly. "No, I don't."

I knew Dean could make out the pain in my voice—I knew that he knew the words had hurt me and I hoped it was enough for him. Honestly I understood his need to feel like he _wasn't_ the one in pain. He'd spent forty _years_ in Hell and there was no way that any of us could make that better for him. Dean had tried so hard to get _away_ from things causing him pain, and he needed to know he could deal it out but he was right…I _didn't_ deserve _that_ kind of pain.

"I'm the worst person in the world for wishing that on you and I knew it…so I stopped what was happening. I couldn't do that to you." Dean explained to me. "Especially since as I thought about it more, I realized that you didn't do this to hurt _me_…you did it because you thought you had to in order to _save everyone else_. Hell, you didn't even know I was coming back before you did it—had you even talked to Castiel yet?"

I shook my head again. "No…no I hadn't talked to him yet. I was having the nightmares about you in Hell and I dunno, Dean…it was just too much for me to handle and I needed my mother and I knew that we needed her for more than just comforting me—which I should point out she didn't do at first. The minute I brought hr back she took off, and she's been gathering information for us ever since."

"Damn-it, Lanni…I should have stuck around to talk this out with you." Dean whispered, kissing my earlobe and then my cheek, slipping his hand to the bottom of my tank and playing with it. "I shouldn't have just assumed all of these things and run off to make an ass out of myself…I shouldn't have even _thought_ about hurting you."

"It's a reflex." I replied sadly, tears in my eyes as I stopped his hand from trying to travel up my shirt and turned over in his arms, shaking my head. "I can't, Dean…I can't help you feel better through random sex when I know what you were doing tonight while you were out. Some other woman was touching you all over and I just…it makes me a little sick to my stomach. I forgive you for doing it, but I just—I can't, okay?"

Dean nodded slowly and kissed me tenderly, noting how hard I was trying to keep myself composed and then he just held me, stroking my hair and kissing my head once more. He knew that getting past this was going to take me a while, but at the same time I had forgiven him, so it wasn't like it was going to take forever. I didn't know if I actually entirely _did_ forgive him for what he had done, but I knew that for right then, I didn't want him to feel hurt or brushed aside—I just couldn't make-up with him through sex right now. This was something he and I would have to get through with time, and forgiving him allowed us that window of opportunity.

"I love you, Lanni, and I'm _sorry_." He told me sincerely. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me and I wish I wasn't ruining this…I guess I wouldn't be me if I didn't. You deserve so much better than this but I can't walk away like I should."

I smiled sadly, a couple of tears trickling out. "I don't _want_ you to walk away."

**Note: So…Lana just forgave him huh? She knows she's going to do something "so much worse" to save everyone so she just forgave? Did she really? Would you? What happens next? And more importantly: which secret comes out next? Feedback is always appreciated!**


	74. Movies are Simpler

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**So there is a lot of rebuilding relationships in this chapter, and I **_**love **_**Jamie, I **_**really **_**do, and I **_**loved **_**her with Dean, I just couldn't have her be the main girl in this chapter considering what happened **_**last**_** chapter.**

**Expect **_**several **_**surprises, and I know I said there would be flashbacks, and there will be, but not the ones I planned—those will come **_**really**_** soon, but not this chapter…this chapter is focusing on relationships and on the awesomeness that was "Monster Movie".**

**Also…THERE'S AN HD POLL ON MY PROFILE…so go vote pretty please.**

**There will be more polls for this story and my other ones to come and I'll let you know in 'Author's Notes' when they're up.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I couldn't believe how awful I felt the next morning when I woke up and Lana wasn't there. She was probably already up with Johnny, and I ran my hand along her side of the bed a moment before I got up and headed downstairs. It was a really crowded breakfast table—Annie, Penn, Sam, Kate, Lana and then Johnny in his high chair, everyone looking up and smiling at me…everyone except Annie.

Did Annie know about what happened between Lana and me the night before? Honestly I hadn't expected her to already tell her sister that I was almost willing to step out on her…honestly I hadn't realized that Lana and Annie still talked like that. I knew that she always told Jen _everything_, but I hadn't realized that she and Annie were so close when they had also always been a little distant from each other.

Jen was more of a sister to Lana than Annie was, but I knew that was only because Lana grew up with Jen since Annie was away from her. So much had been done to keep Lana and Annie _away_ from each other and now it was almost like we were in the ninth inning already—everything needed to happen. That, and I felt like maybe part of making things up to Lana was talking to her about Hell…but _how_ could I do that?

"Good morning, Dean." Penn said brightly and it was pretty obvious that out of everyone at the table, Penn and Johnny were the happiest to see me.

Lana set down a cup of coffee at the place setting for me. "It's hot and strong—just how you like it."

"Thank you." I told her, catching her hand and running my thumb along it.

I really wanted to prove to her just how much she meant to me, but I could also tell just how hurt she was by what I'd done. Still, she just smiled and kissed me gently, so maybe she really _had_ forgiven me. I didn't know _why_ she forgave me, and I didn't know how I was going to make this up to her since she was being so amazing about all of this, but I knew that one thing was for certain—she was _not_ dying for this cause. I was going to get her out of her deal, and I was going to do it so that eventually she, Johnny and I could be a normal family…someday I was going to give her that because she deserved it. We just had to find our way back to each other and I didn't know where to start, and I didn't know how long that was going to take.

"Sam and Lana made pancakes, and even though she fed him earlier, she cut up some fruit for Johnny." Kate informed me as I sat down, Kate on my right and Lana's place on my left, but she was up refilling people's coffee cups. "Annie volunteered for the two of you to stay here with Johnny while the others get some things done…and while Sam and I get some errands run with Kevin."

I nodded slowly at that. "Yeah, okay…I can do that."

"Good. Jen and I are going to have a day just to us—go to the spa, maybe buy a couple things for baby number 3. She gets to find out what it is next week." Lana said softly, handing Sam and Penn their new coffee and then sitting down and eating a bite of pancake. "Just play nice and soon we'll all be back."

"Where is Penn going to be?" I inquired, eating some breakfast and feeling like 'play nice' was Lana's way of warning me that Annie was pissed off.

Penn smiled and ran his fingers through Annie's hair. "I have my weekly golf with the guys today."

I nodded and smiled a little, glad that Annie was getting a piece of normal life—glad that Annie had someone who knew she deserved it. On top of that, he was able to love her for who she was…he was able to see past that she was half demon and that she knew witchcraft and she needed that. She'd been through _so_ much in her life, and she needed a man like that…Lana did too, and I was trying to be the man that she needed because just being the man that she wanted wasn't good enough for her as far as I was concerned.

Everyone got ready to go and then I had to initiate the kiss with Lana before she headed off with Jen, sighing loudly at how bad I felt. Then there was Annie who avoided me for the first little bit, trying hard not to speak with me that afternoon when I sat down with her after Johnny went down for his nap. She turned the TV up a little more and I took a deep breath, looking at her until she sighed loudly and then turned the TV off.

"I'm not talking to you because I do not like you right now." Annie told me, standing up and heading out of the room. "I'm just the only one who is willing to alienate you."

I nodded slowly and took a deep breath…she was right. If everyone knew about what had happened they sure weren't showing me that they knew what had happened. They were all actually not talking to me much, but they were acknowledging my presence…even when they all found out. Sam took me aside and told me what an idiot I had been even thinking about cheating on Lana, and everyone was pretty upset with me…except Lana who was making me feel like everything was okay—why? Why was she treating me so well when I had been so _horrible_ to her?

"He uh…he has a doll." I told Lana as I walked into the nursery.

She smiled a little and shrugged. "He likes it and I'm letting him keep it."

"I think he really is growing up to be his mother's son—that's a compliment, by the way." I explained to her, running my hand along her arm.

"I knew it was." She replied with a nod, smiling at me politely and then looking at Johnny.

I knew that I deserved this, I did, but at the same time I was really getting worried about what was going on around here and I couldn't take this. What if we never got this back to normal? What if what I almost did made it so that the two of us would never be close again? What if Lana and I could no longer be together? What if she was right—what if the two of us were just too _different_ from who we used to be to make this work? What if I'd lost her for good?

"I'm going to go out and take a walk but uh…anything you need me to pick up from the store on the way back?" I asked her calmly, trying to act like this wasn't phasing me because I didn't want her to feel bad about what _I_ was supposed to be feeling bad about.

She shrugged a little and stroked Johnny's hair. "Actually, I think we're good, but thank you for offering."

"All right." I told her nodding, heading to the door and stopping for a moment, looking down at the floor. "I love you, Lanni."

"I love you too." She answered honestly.

I was glad to be able to hear the sincerity in her voice, but at the same time I knew that everything had changed. It wasn't the same kind of change either and after my walk and coming back to everyone pretty much avoiding me, I went and sat in the den…bombarded with memories of asking Lana to marry me. When did it all fall apart? When did it come down to this? I wasn't going to be able to take it if our _entire_ world sudden fell apart just because I was an idiot—how did I make this up to her?

"Everyone's pretty mad at you." Annie told me, dragging me out of my thoughts, and I looked up at her and nodded, not saying a word. "Look, I don't know the exact details about everything that has been happening between you two, but she doesn't deserve this. I mean come on, Dean, do you love her? I mean do you _really_ and _truly_ love her?"

Annie paused so that I could have a moment to answer, but all I could do was look at her and then look back at the rug on the carpet as I sat in the chair. How could she ask me such a question when she so obviously knew the answer to that? Lana was my life and I had been an idiot and all I could do was wait until she _truly_ forgave me for what I had done…because how did I even _begin_ to rebuild our marriage? Was there even going to be a marriage to try and salvage once Lana thought about it all a little more?

"Then how could you do that to her, Dean?" Annie asked me as she nodded, aware of what my answer was even though I couldn't say it aloud without my voice betraying how hurt I was feeling about hurting her. "Come on, Dean, she does _everything_ for you. Yeah, she brought Mom back and that was really reckless and selfish on her part and you _should_ be mad, but how _dare_ you even _think_ about _cheating_ on her? Are you _mental_? She stands by you, she sides with you, she protects you, she loves you…she _believes in you_…how could you? Normally I would stay out of this and let you guys rebuild on your own but I couldn't just sit back and let you hurt my sister, Dean. If you can't do better than this for her than you should just leave—she has other people to help her out who won't shatter her heart like this. I love you, and I love that you're my brother-in-law, but shape up…shape-up before I have to _do_ something about it."

What Annie had said to me was really making me look at things—yeah I had a right to be mad about the deal that was going to take Lana away in ten years, but I had done so many more worse things than Lana had ever done. In all actuality, _I _was the one who had sabotaged our relationship the most and the worst, and somehow I had to make this better—somehow _Lana and I _had to make this better, and I had to believe that we could do that. I didn't believe in much, but I believed in that…if I didn't then I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

I was so angry with myself for the next few weeks that I was trying _everything_ to make things up to Lana. There were things I was even doing that were _completely_ out of my norm, but for Lana anything was worth it…even if it _was_ PDA…I was resorting to a _lot_ of PDA and a _lot_ of attention and affection. I really just needed her to understand just _how_ much she meant to me and I knew that I couldn't do that without devoting 98% of my attention on her and Johnny and on making her feel like she was my number one because she was mine—and she always would be.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Even though it was out of his norm, it was nice to be showered with so much affection from Dean—even if sometimes I tried to get him to tone it down because I knew it was hard for him. It wasn't the attention and the affection that were hard for him…it was the showing them in _public _that was hard and I understood that. Dean Winchester never got attached as it was, let alone showing that he was attached to complete strangers, but nevertheless it was nice…it was nice to feel like I was his territory and I was marked.

"_You_ have been _incredibly_ attentive lately." I told Dean, wrapping my arms around his neck and nuzzling his nose with mine, smiling a little as he kissed me softly.

He smiled and nodded, kissing me again. "Are you getting sick of me yet?"

"Actually, just the opposite." I replied winking, kissing him and cupping his face, looking him in the eye when I pulled back. "I really _do _forgive you, you know. You didn't _actually _cheat on me and I know you love me, you were just upset about the deal I made and you have every right to be. You don't have to sit around here out of your norm and try to make me happy…I'm fine."

"No, no, no." Dean replied shaking his head. "You can't just sweep what I did under the rug, just like I couldn't just sweep you sleeping with Sam under the rug when that happened a couple years ago—this is me making up for my mistake and believe me this was _worse _than you sleeping with Sam."

I raised my eyebrows. "It so was _not _worse than that. Sam was your _brother _and we were _dating_ and he and I _both _should have known better."

"We're _married_." Dean pointed out, running his nose along mine. "Mine was worse."

"Yours might have been a little more morally corrupt, but that doesn't make it _worse_." I told him slowly.

We both smiled at each other and I had to admit that as hurt as I still was, I was just glad to be in Dean's arms again. We'd both done a _lot_ of things to disrupt the trust and faith we had in each other over the years and I was really hoping that when I had to potentially ally myself with Lilith that would be the last time. I didn't _want_ to help Lilith ever, by any means, but at the same time…how could I just ignore this? If that was the only way in to stop this and in turn stop Lucifer from rising, than so be it.

"Kate and Sam are getting Johnny into his car seat and then it's off on a hunt we go." I mused, kissing Dean gently and running my hand up and down along his side. "Maybe depending on how this hunt goes…you and I could try making up in a more physical manner?"

Dean smirked and kissed my forehead. "I'd like to try that, I really would."

"Well of course _you_ would—you love sex." I said laughing, laughing a little more when he gave me a look and playfully poked me in my side.

Dean kissed me swiftly. "You like it just as much, Lanni."

I nodded and smiled up at him fondly. "Only if it's with you."

Dean smiled back at me and we both kissed each other lovingly before we headed to the car, fingers entwined. We weren't completely back, and we knew it was going to take some time, but I had faith that we were both trying hard enough to get this marriage worked out. As long as we were both willing to try and make it work, we would make it in the end and that was what really mattered.

So we drove on for a while, talking amongst the four of us and definitely talking to Johnny too for a while since he was awake and wanting to mingle with us. He was far too adorable and definitely still blonde and I kind of wished that there was a way to spare him from all of this but I couldn't—I couldn't let him _ignore_ who he was and I needed him to be able to protect himself from the demons that wanted to harm him. I felt like I was the worst mother in the history of the world, but what else could I do? He had to be kept safe and that was that.

I looked up from my book in the middle of the night as Dean played with the radio, Johnny slept, Sam looked at a file and Kate rubbed his shoulders from her seat. They were honestly almost _too_ adorable, and I was glad that they were still together and I was still wondering _when_ Sam was going to propose to her. I was waiting for and excited about having her all giddy showing off a ring and everything and I knew she'd say 'yes'…I really just knew it.

"Wait a second—did that sign just say 'Welcome to Transylvania'?" I asked as looked at the sign on the side of the road as we hurried past it.

Dean laughed and shook his head. "No, it said 'Welcome to Pennsylvania', Lanni. You watch _way_ too many horror movies."

"Guilty as charged." I said with a laugh.

"Our _lives_ are a horror movie." Kate said quickly as I answered Dean.

Sam chuckled and nodded. "Touché."

"The radio around here sucks!" Dean exclaimed and he turned off the old movie music. "Come on, guys—jobs don't get much sweeter than this, you know? Dead vic with a gnawed-on neck, body drained of blood, and a witness who swears up and down that it was a vampire."

"No, I…I agree. It's a Hell of a case." Sam answered, but his tone conveyed that he was _not_ convinced.

I smiled a little as Kate stroked his hair and smiled as well, both of us so glad to see that the old Sam was still there. He was still adorable and researchy, and the two of us were glad that he was also still focused on everything else—he wouldn't be Sam if he wasn't trying to pile too much on his plate. Dean, however, though glad he was his brother and still like this, wanted Sam to be more excited at this change of pace.

"A little more gusto, please?" Dean asked Sam.

Sam sighed a little. "It's just…the world is coming to an end. Things are a little complicated, you know?"

"Yeah, well, we can't save the world—not today anyway—but what we _can_ do is trump off some vamps' heads. Come on, man, it's like the good old days. An honest-to-goodness monster hunt. It's about time the Winchesters got back to tackling a straightforward, black-and-white case." Dean explained to him and then smiled back at us. "Aren't you two glad you can put yourselves into the 'Winchester' category now?"

"Hear that, Kate? You're officially a Winchester now—the last name is just a technicality." I told her with a grin.

Sam looked back at us. "She's been a 'Winchester' for a while now."

Kate blushed a bit and we all smiled, glad to be this close and not having anyone mad at the other—not have any arguing. We drove on until the morning and arrived in Canonsburg, where an Oktoberfest was taking place and I got Johnny out of his car-seat, settling him into the carrier on my front. Dean stood next to me and I checked his tie, and then he kissed Johnny's head and stole a kiss from me making me smile.

"We still got to see the new Raiders movie." Dean said suddenly as we entered the enclosure of the Fest.

Sam shrugged a bit. "Saw it."

"And it was the worst movie _ever_." Kate and I said at once, bumping our fists together as Johnny snuggled into me and looked around a bit.

"You guys saw it without me?" Dean asked us angrily.

Sam shrugged again. "You were in Hell."

"That's no excuse. Big pretzel!" Dean exclaimed and we all laughed a little as he went to go and buy four pretzels, smiling at the vendor. "Thank you."

He came back over to us and handed us all pretzels, us thanking him and then a beautiful blonde woman walked past him and said 'Guten Tag', Dean checking her out a second. It was a normal Dean movement and he realized what he was doing and kissed my cheek, but still…it was almost _too _early for him to be doing that. I think that he got it and I was glad he was trying to make it up to me already, but at the same time I was kind of upset and I didn't know what to do about it.

"Looks like that's our man." Sam told us as he aw the sheriff and we all walked over to meet him. "Sheriff Dietrich."

The sheriff looked at us. "Are you the boys from the fed?"

"Agents Angus, Young, and Williams." Dean explained and we showed our badges, me trying to keep a hold on my smile at the AC/DC reference he was using. "We called ahead about your, uh, problem."

"Right. Um…I'll tell you what, why don't we talk this out away from the crowd, huh?" He asked us.

We nodded and he took us to the morgue, asking some questions about Johnny who just kind of smiled at him. I explained that we were close to town and that with a force of two and some back-up things would be fine, but he was still a little worried about the morgue…I was too. Johnny hadn't really seen _dead_, dead people before, and I wasn't quite sure if I wanted him to be scarred by them already when he wasn't even one yet, so I ended up waiting outside, Dean kissing me gently and following the rest of them in.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

After leaving Lana outside, Sam, Kate and I followed Sheriff Dietrich in to look at the victim's body, ready to make a deduction. This was just one of the things that we had to do to figure out exactly what it was that we were up against and Kate looked at me. I smiled at her a little and then I took a deep breath, looking at Sheriff Dietrich because he had things to disclose to us.

"Marissa Wright, 26, just up from Lockhard for the 'fest. Terrible. Just terrible. It's the last thing this town needs at peak tourist season." Sheriff Dietrich answered.

Sam nodded slowly. "Definitely the last thing Marissa Wright needed."

"What the Hell?" Kate asked after I turned Marissa's head and we all saw the two bite marks. "Wow."

"Yeah, you got me. I mean, this killer's some kind of grade 'A' wacko, right? I mean, some Satan-worshipping, Anne Rice-reading, gothic, psycho vampire wannabe." Sheriff Dietrich explained shaking his head slowly.

I nodded and then looked at him. "Sheriff, in your report, you mentioned a witness."

"Yeah, I wished I didn't, but our witness insisted. That's Ed Brewer. Not exactly what you'd call reliable." Sheriff Dietrich told us as he closed the drawer containing Marissa.

We nodded and thanked him heading out to see how Lana and Johnny were holding up and then headed to the tavern. Lana was a little weary about it because of what had almost happened the _last_ time I was at a bar, but I was _determined_ to show her that she was my number one…it would be easier if getting women to do things didn't mean flirting with them. It was just that kind of job, and I knew that Lana understood that, but it was kind of still a sore spot for the two of us and I was kind of nervous.

"It's the blonde from the street." Lana pointed out and then she sighed loudly. "Go turn on your charm…just please, please, _please_ leave it to verbal flirting. Your son and I are getting a table over here and we're going to get…food or something."

I laughed a little and kissed her gently, right there in the bar for everyone to see and even though part of me still felt weird about PDA, she deserved this. She deserved having everyone know that she was taken and that she was loved by the man who was with her, and that was it. So then I ran my hand over Johnny's head and went with Kate and Sam up to the bar and looked at the woman's nametag and realized that her name was Jamie.

"I remember you." She told me as I leaned on the bar.

I smiled at her. "And I remember you, Jamie—I never forget a pretty…everything."

"We're looking for Ed Brewer." Sam interrupted me.

"What do you want with Ed?" Jamie asked us.

I nodded and showed her my badge, Sam and Kate following suit. "Well, we are, uh…federal agents. Mr. Brewer was witness to a serious crime. We just need to—"

"—wait a minute. You're a fed? Wow, you don't come on like a fed. Seriously?" Jamie asked me, flirting a little.

"I'm a maverick, ma'am. A rebel with a badge." I told her, knowing I was going a little overboard and I shouldn't.

"Maverick here is also married and a father—wife and kid." Kate said, pointing over to Lana who was nuzzling Johnny's nose with hers, Johnny smiling and laughing and the sight was pretty amazing—they were so happy and the two of them were my family. "So, uh, where can we find Mr. Brewer?"

Jamie smiled and pointed him out to us, the three of us heading over to him and Kate decided to turn on _her _charm. It wasn't as hard for her because she and Sam never cheated on each other and they knew it was part of the job—I just wished that was the way Lana and I could handle things. Everything was different…we got married and now _everything _was different.

"I told the cops everything I saw." Ed explained to us as we came over to him, drinking another gulp of beer. "No one believes me. Why should you be any different?"

Kate smiled and sat down with him. "Oh we're different, Mr. Brewer, trust me. We believe you, and we believe that Marissa Wright's murderer was a vampire, we just want to know exactly what he looked like—we want to find him and stop this from happening again…_you_ can help us with that."

Kate smiled at him and for a minute I saw that Meckenzie woman charm—it was like every female in Lana's family had the same quality. Somehow they were able to render men completely useless just by flashing a smile and then talking the man up…was that how Lana landed me? She had this way of putting an idea in my head and then making me think that it was mine in the first place—that was my girl.

"He looked like a vampire." Ed told us shrugging. "You know, with the fangs and the slicked-back hair and the fancy cape and the little medallion thingy on the ribbon."

I raised my eyebrows. "You mean like a Dracula?"

"Exactly. Like a Dracula. Right down to the accent." Ed said nodding at us.

"The accent?" Sam repeated smiling.

Ed nodded vigorously. "Yep."

"What did he say?" I asked Ed, getting serious again.

"You know—something like 'Stay away, mortal! The night is mine!'" Ed said placing his arm over his face to cover his mouth like Dracula in old horror movies and we all just gaped at him. "You do believe me, don't you?"

What a question that was! On the one hand we really _wanted _to believe him, but on the other hand what in the world would make us believe that we were going to be going up against _Dracula_? There _had_ to be something else here, but Kate just nodded and rested her hand on his to stop him, me looking over to see Lana and Johnny over at the bar, Lana trying to keep Johnny's little hands out of the pretzels—that was my boy.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

While Dean, Kate and Sam were talking to Ed, I went up to the bar and decided to see what I could overhear. Once they're left the bar, Jamie had watched them go and I wondered if she was as into Dean as every other girl seemed to be. Why was it that everyone and their mother was into my husband? I mean yeah he was attractive and he had a way of picking women up, but really? Sam was attractive too!

"They must be here following up on that murdered woman. Crazy Ed and his vampire story." One of the bartenders said as she came over to Jamie—her name-tag read 'Lucy'.

"He might be weird, but he's not crazy." Jamie replied while Lucy adjusted her lipstick with a napkin and I made sure Johnny didn't steal one of the pretzels.

Lucy rolled her eyes. "Look, you're just saying that 'cause the guy has a crush on you and he tips you in $20s."

Jamie rolled her eyes too and then Lucy put the napkin with the lipstick mark down on the bar and then moved away when somebody called to her. I watched her go and then laughed a little and pushed Johnny's hand away from the pretzels again, moving the bowl out of his reach as Jamie smiled and came over to me. We had to be quite a sight—a baby at a bar…what kind of mother _was _I?

"He's adorable—he looks a lot like you." Jamie told me with a smile on her face.

I smiled back and nodded as I shrugged a bit. "He really does. We all thought he'd look like his Daddy, but apparently my genes were just dominant."

"Well that's not necessarily a _bad _thing." Jamie replied as she pulled out a pad and a pen. "Do you want anything?"

"Um a Shirley Temple and some fries maybe?" I asked her, laughing a bit. "I'm still breastfeeding so no alcohol for me, and um…my partners might want some beers."

"Coming right up." Jamie said, smiling at me and then smiling at Dean as he came up to us and sat next to me at the bar.

Ever since I had become one with Dark Lana, I'd been able to sense everyone a lot better and I grinned when Dean kissed the top of my head and reached out for Johnny. Johnny went to him eagerly because Dean was closer to the bowl of pretzels, and I laughed and pulled the bowl closer to me, Dean looking at me. I could tell by the look on his face that this was a little hard for him and yet I was kind of glad—everyone could see I was in a happy marriage and Dean was making that possible for me.

"You know I _know_ this is hard for you." I told him, popping a pretzel into my mouth and sighing when Johnny started to pout. "He got that from me."

Dean laughed as he looked at Johnny. "Yeah, he kind of did. Sam and Kate have a table for us, so…"

"I ordered for us." I replied as I stood up, catching Jamie smile at us from her perch at the beer tap. "Let's go."

Dean smiled and nodded, both of us heading to the table with Kate and Sam and sitting down at it. I still felt kind of strange having a baby in a bar, but at the same time, we were all being attentive of him so how bad was it in all reality? Besides, if anything _bad_ happened, then we were all perfectly capable of protecting him. This was better than Johnny and I being bored by ourselves in a motel room doing absolutely _nothing_.

"You know…this would have been the _perfect_ place for you to lose your second virginity." I teased Dean, knowing that if I started making these kinds of jokes, he would know that it wasn't too early to joke about it too—I kind of missed his little jokes regardless of what he'd done.

Sam looked at me as Jamie set the beers in front of us and then left. "Come again?"

"Look at me. I came back from the furnace without any of my old scars, right? You know, bullet wounds, knife cuts, none of the off-angled fingers from all the breaks. I mean, my hide is as smooth as a baby's bottom, which led me to conclude, sadly…that my virginity was intact when I came back." Dean explained with a shrug.

"What?" Kate asked laughing. "Wow."

"What?" Dean asked her, sipping his beer. "I was re-hymenated."

Sam laughed at that. "Re…please. Dean, maybe angels can pull you out of Hell, but _no_ one could do that."

"I beg to differ—I was re-hymenated when I was resurrected." I said with a shrug, sipping the Shirley Temple. "In fact actually if you think about it, it's kind of romantic."

"What makes you say _that_?" Sam, Dean and Kate all asked at once making different looks and raising their eyebrows.

I shrugged a little and then laughed a bit as Johnny snuggled into Dean. "The two of us have only slept with each other now technically. He took my virginity when I came back, and I took his when he did. So even though we have other experience, it's like we're all re-pure or something."

"Oh my God, that was mushy." Dean said, but he chuckled and thought it over a little.

Even though I admit that it _had_ been a bit _mushy_, I had been thinking about it and thinking about it _that_ way was putting me on my way to _full_ forgiveness for Dean. The two of us hadn't slept with anyone else since we came back, and I was grateful for that. We were both kind of reborn and we'd only been with each other and that made it all the more special, didn't it? Or was I just a true girl in that respect?

"I don't think we're going to stay." Sam told me after the laughter had died down and Dean took Johnny from me. "Motel?"

Kate smiled and nodded. "Yeah! Motel!"

"Sounds good to me." I replied, and took a deep breath. "Can I get my baby back now?"

"Nope." Dean told me, grinning at me with that grin he was so good at.

I laughed a little and we all went to the motel, hanging out and sleeping and then getting up in the morning and heading back to a café in the town. A woman named Mary was with us because her boyfriend had been ripped to pieces the night before by a werewolf and we were all feeling pretty freaked out it. The boys and Kate ended up going to the morgue and we all met back up at the cavern and they confirmed what she said—not that they confirmed it was a werewolf…they just kind of explained that the body had been mauled and we couldn't ignore the eye witness statements.

"Wolf hairs? You really found _wolf_ hairs? Oh God, give him a pretzel but watch him, I don't want him to choke." I told Dean as Johnny started to whine, Kate keeping the pretzels away from him. "Maybe we should call Jen or Lydia?"

Kate shrugged a little. "Lydia might actually know."

"Well then maybe you should make the call." Sam told her stroking her hair.

"Yeah, I can do that." Kate said softly nodding, smiling when Sam kissed her temple.

I watched as Kate sighed loudly and got up to phone Lydia, all of us letting Jen have a break from researching. She was pregnant and extra hormonal, and Kate and I assumed it meant she was having a boy because her pregnancy with the girls was actually pretty smooth sailing for her. Besides, Lydia was amazing with research and since she had worked with Kate and Sam for a time it wasn't like they didn't already have a sort of work relationship with her.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

I was actually pretty certain that Lydia would know what was going on here—and even if she didn't she could point us in the right direction. It was almost kind of right up her alley what with the Dracula and the Wolf Man thing going on. If it wasn't vampires or werewolves it could just be a really creepy sadist but even _that_ seemed far-fetched considering what was going on here…what would the motive be? Killing people like classic horror movies…_why_ exactly?

"Hey, Kate." Lydia answered immediately when she picked up the phone, and I laughed a little cause she pretty much killed any room for small talk. "What is it exactly that I can do for you?"

I took a deep breath. "We have a so called werewolf and Dracula killing people. Weird part? It actually looks like that might have happened."

"Okay, Dracula doesn't exist and if it's a werewolf go with silver, Kate. You're a famous hunter—_you_ should know that." Lydia replied to me, laughing a little.

"Yeah, it's not a werewolf like we know if it is one—just a man-wolf that mauled a guy. The heart was still there and we're stuck and I don't wanna ask Lana to do any of her mojo on this situation when she and Dean are still working things out." I explained to her, rubbing my temples.

I heard Lydia sigh softly and then I heard the sound of pages and knew that at least she was looking something up for me. This was one _incredibly_ weird case and none of us even knew where to start with the evidence that was piling up to suggest this really _was_ Dracula and a werewolf from a horror movie. What we needed was to find the perpetrator in action so that we could deduce who or what it was…for that we might need bait.

"I suggest having Lana use her powers—she wants to be all in tune with them, doesn't she?" Lydia asked me finally. "Dracula doesn't exist so it's _obviously_ an impersonator and you know that…well _hopefully_ at least. Shapeshifter? Then again I dunno this isn't a shapeshifter M.O."

I nodded and rubbed my temples. "I definitely don't think it is."

"I say Lana is your best bet—use some bait, and I'll keep researching. Where are you?" Lydia asked me point blank.

I started to list off all of the information that I thought that she would need and then after hanging up with her I went back to our table. Sam kissed my head when I got there, all of us laughing a little at Johnny playing with a napkin and then I heard that Lana and Dean were going to go on a date that night and I was a little confused. I mean I understood that he was trying to make things up to her, but a random date during an Oktoberfest in the middle of a potential hunt?

"Really?" I asked them skeptically.

Lana nodded at me. "Yeah…I don't see why not. Sam offered to look after Johnny and the two of us want to spend some time together. Are you okay with that? I mean besides if all else fails, we're bait."

"Yes, because the _married_ people with _a son_ should be _bait_." I told them rolling my eyes, but I laughed and consented.

Truth be told if they got into any trouble Lana would be able to get them _out_ of it, and Johnny was safe with Sam and I. He was our flesh and blood and we'd protect him no matter what, so it wasn't like this couldn't be done—and Lydia had said that we needed to use Lana and she was willing to be bait. It really didn't matter whether or not we agreed with their decision because they made their own decisions and to be fair, they _needed_ this…they _needed_ to be close to each other.

"Have fun." I told them sincerely.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"Seriously? A mummy? Oh my God, I don't even get it." I told Kate on the phone, Dean kissing my neck softly as he held me to him, my back to his chest. "I'll call you back in a bit, okay?"

Kate laughed a bit. "Yeah, that's fine. Enjoy the rest of your date."

"Kiss Johnny for us—we'll be in soon." I said happily and then we exchanged 'I love yous' and I hung up, turning around in Dean's arms. "So…where were we."

"Right about…here." Dean replied, kissing me and slipping my phone into my jean's pocket. "Hey, do you think this Dracula can turn into a bat? That would be cool."

I laughed and rolled my eyes, stroking his hair. "I dunno, Baby, but that _would_ be kind of cool, I admit it. I might run off with him though, so let's hope not."

Dean rolled his eyes and kissed me as he chuckled, both of us laughing and kissing each other as we stood there on the sidewalk. We suddenly heard wings flutter, however, and I turned around to find myself in front of a man dressed up as Dracula. I was kind of amazed and oddly giddy and enthralled all at the same time, ready to do what I needed to, but hoping he was just something cool and not something evil…that would be _really_ nice for a change.

"Good evening." Dracula drawled and I held my hand out, keeping Dean behind me. "I have watched you for many nights from afar. My passion knows no bounds, Mina! You are the reincarnation of my beloved, and I must have you."

I giggled a little. "Why, Dracula, you flatter me."

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a little turned on by this almost Bram Stoker replica of Dracula. He had the accent and everything, and even though he wasn't Gary Oldman, I was fascinated and I was willing to listen to him, wondering how this would pan out. Besides, if Dean tried to attack him too soon, he could get away and then we'd be back at square one and we couldn't have that.

"You must come with me." Dracula told me, reaching out to grab my arm.

Dean stepped in then. "Don't touch her, you son of a bitch."

"You should not use such language in the presence of my bride." Dracula told him.

"Okay, but I should warn you—she's my wife." Dean replied and he punched him, but Dracula immediately stood up, showed his fangs, and pressed Dean up against the wall.

"You have no choice in the matter, Mr. Harker. Mina is mine." Dracula said simply and went to bite Dean so I raised my hand but Dean shook his head and pulled off Dracula's ear and the ribbon around his neck.

I made a face as Dracula rushed off rather surprised, both Dean and I following him and looking at him as he hopped on a motor scooter. Not only was he on a _scooter_, but he honked the horn and everything and I turned to Dean, knowing he was glad I didn't use my powers, but I wished that I had. Then I pouted and Dean sent me a look like he thought I was crazy and he didn't know why I was upset and I shrugged.

"He suggested you were my Keanu and I'm not really happy about that." I said as I pouted some more. "I'm repulsed by Keanu."

Dean laughed a little and then handed me the ear. "Feel familiar to you?"

"This ruined the romance, but at the same time yeah—shapeshifter." I told him and pulled my phone out. "I guess we tell Kate and Sam."

"Some date." Dean sighed and then he stroked my hair as I talked to Kate on the phone.

Dean and I hurried back to the motel and explained the encounter, showing the two the ear and checking on Johnny who was sleeping soundly. Apparently he'd been a little fussy for Kate and Sam but he'd gone down, and the most important part was that he was still sleeping. The kid grew when he slept and I loved knowing that he could rest peacefully even though he lived in such a world, around such things.

"So he totally thinks you're his Mina?" Kate asked me laughing. "Wow…you must be in Heaven."

I shrugged as a smiled. "Maybe a little—I had to explain it all to Dean because he was kind of clueless."

"Well he doesn't _read_ and he prolly never saw the movie either—your husband is limited in that respect." Kate replied, shrugging when Dean punched her playfully in the arm. "This is the same label as the one on the mummy's sarcophagus from the costume rental place where the last murder happened. Now we just have to figure out who would have a motive to fixate on you."

"Do you know how long that list is?" I asked her with a sigh.

They all nodded and we got to researching, calling it a night after a little while, Sam and Kate passing out right off the bat. Johnny was still sleeping and Dean and I snuggled each other, Dean running his fingers through my hair as I ran my fingers along his t-shirt, my head on his chest. His heartbeat was thumping in my ear and I felt peaceful just lying there with him, both of us sighing at the same time and then looking at each other and smiling a bit—we still did quite a few things at the same time.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him honestly.

Dean kissed my forehead. "You know what? I'm feeling okay. Things aren't perfect and we definitely still have things to work on, but I'm good. We're helping people and we're keeping our family safe and…and I think I'm starting believe that I was brought back for a reason but I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"Probably have faith." I replied with a shrug.

Dean chuckled softly and I kissed him, lying down in his arms and waiting until he was asleep before I got up. I kissed Johnny's forehead and then headed out of the motel, intending to find the shapeshifter and take him out before he hurt anyone else. Unfortunately I was knocked out when I got there, not expecting him to be expecting me to get the drop on me and I woke up feeling like I had made a really _stupid_ decision.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

Sam and I went to check out Ed when we woke up to find Lana, Dean and Johnny gone with a note left behind. All it said was that they'd be back soon and it was in Dean's handwriting so Sam and I really didn't think much of it—we assumed that the two had taken their son for a little breakfast time. Besides, that meant that Sam and I got to have some time alone after we took care of our hunt business.

So we went to find Ed since he was first on our list of suspects for the shapeshifter since he just seemed to know _too_ much, but found out it wasn't Ed at all. He'd just been in the wrong place at the wrong time and was _really _into old horror movies—definitely human. Since we were kind of back at square one, we just took a walk down the sidewalk hand in hand, enjoying each other's company until one of the other two called.

"It's nice out." I told him softly, leaning into him.

He nodded and chuckled. "It actually really is."

"I love you, you know that?" I asked him suddenly, stopping on the sidewalk and turning to face him, holding his hands in mine and looking up into his eyes.

Sam smiled at that and nodded, looking at the ground and then looking at me with a new look in his eyes. I wasn't sure what the look was and I knew that he could tell how confused I was because he kissed me swiftly and then pulled back and pulled one of his hands away. Then he stuck his hand into his jacket pocket and I cocked my head to one side, wondering what in the world Sam was even doing.

"I love you too. In fact…I want to marry you." Sam told me, pulling out an engagement ring.

I was surprised and yet I couldn't surprise the giant grin that stretched across my face as I looked at the ring and then up into his loving eyes. It was just that too—he _always_ looked at me like he loved me and I _always_ felt safe and protected…and _home_. Then I realized that I was just looking like a fool standing there and I looked up into his eyes, the grin still on my face because I couldn't control it.

"Really?" I asked him excitedly.

He nodded and ran his thumb along the hand he was holding. "You don't even know how much. I know that you deserve more than I can give you, but I'm going to try to be the man you need."

"Sammy…you already are—wanting you is just a plus." I told him with a playful shrug, smiling as he slipped the ring onto my finger.

"Is that a 'yes'?" Sam asked me, fishing for an actual answer.

I smiled at him and reached out to stroke his cheek. "It's always a 'yes'."

Sam grinned too as I answered him, opening up his arms to me and holding me close as I held him and then kissed him gently. I was _engaged_! I was _engaged_ to _Sam Winchester_! It was a feeling that was going to have to sink in, and it was a feeling that I didn't really know to explain. I was pretty damn giddy and I knew that Sam and I were going to be able to do this—I didn't know how I knew that, but I did.

"I know it totally ruins the moment but, uh…we should check in on the other happy couple." I whispered to Sam between kisses, laughing a little when he pulled me closer.

He chuckled a little and nodded. "Yeah, we should—besides…we have good news for them."

"Yeah, we have the _best_ news!" I replied with a soft laugh, kissing him again.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

When I woke up from being knocked unconscious, I found myself tied to an upright plank, dressed in a Bavarian traditional costume. I had gotten up and grabbed Johnny so that he could lead me to his mother, and then the next thing I know we come to the right place and I get knocked out from behind. Johnny was safe and on the floor playing with his force field up and though I was glad he was sound, I was worried and the shapeshifter was right in front of me in his decked out Dr. Frankenstein kind of lab.

"Oh, come on!" I exclaimed out loud in protest to the costume, and then I saw a portrait of a woman that looked like Lucy only dressed in more period clothes.

Dracula smiled at me. "She is beautiful, no? Bride number three from the first film. She never got the acclaim that she deserved, which is why I chose her shape—her form to move among the mortals unnoticed; to listen to the cricket songs of the living. That is when I discovered my bride had been reborn in this century."

"I can't get over what a pumpkin-pie-head, crazy son of a bitch you really are." I told him laughing, Johnny looking up as I spoke and the shapeshifter neared me. "You're not Dracula. You get that, right? Or even if you think you are Dracula, what the Hell's up with the mummy?"

Dracula punched me. "I am all monsters!"

"Life ain't a movie, you sorry sack of—" I tried, but he punched me again. "Aah!"

"Life is small. Meager. Messy. The movies are grand, simple, elegant. I have chosen elegance." Dracula explained to me, spreading his cape.

"You think 'elegance' is really the word for what you did to Marissa or Rick Deacon? Or any of the others?" I asked him, wanting him to think about all that he had done.

He nodded at me as Johnny began to raise his hand as he'd undoubtedly seen his mother do. "But of course—it is a monster movie, after all."

"You _do_ realize what happens at the end of every monster movie?" I asked him.

"Ah, but this movie is mine and in it, the monster wins—the monster gets the girl and the hero, he's…electrocuted. And tonight, Jonathan Harker, you will be my hero." Dracula explained to me with a soft, majestic shrug.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait." I said as Dracula went to a lever that controlled the electricity, but luckily the doorbell rang.

He glanced at me. "Please, excuse me."

I watched as he hurried off to answer the door and looked at Johnny who was almost waiting for some kind of nod. It was almost as if he thought he had to ask for permission to use his powers and I was kind of proud of him for that…but _why_ did he think he had to ask? Whether I wanted it to be that way or not, the powers were part of him and I knew that Lana wanted me to understand that—I knew I had to let him use them…so I nodded.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

When I came to I saw a gown and decided to put in on, understanding the Dracula movie well enough to know what to do. Once it was on I walked out of the room into an adjoining one and nodded slowly at the food on the table—I had _thought_ I'd smelled pizza. I even wanted to make a joke about garlic on it, but I knew it wasn't the time so I just smiled a little more as Dracula smiled at me.

"I can sense Dean…where is he?" I asked Dracula calmly, taking a seat.

Dracula nodded slowly. "Harker is resting elsewhere. Please, sit down and eat with me."

"I honestly don't mind doing that, but you _do _understand that this isn't a movie right? You can't make this real for you, and I can't stay." I explained to him. "I have a son to think about and protect."

"'Real' is being born this way. Different. 'Real' is having your dad call you 'monster'. It's the first time you hear the word…and he tries to beat you to death with a shovel. Everywhere I ran, everywhere I tried to hide, people found me, ragged me up, attacked me, called me 'freak', called me 'monster'." He explained to me, and I honestly felt bad for him—like falling for Dracula and the Phantom in the movies. "Then I found them: the great monsters. In their movies, they were strong. They were feared. They were beautiful. And now I am like them. Commanding. Terrifying."

I smiled sadly at him. "Lonely."

"_Was_ lonely. Now I…I have you." Dracula told me softly.

"But I can't stay. You had a chance to surround yourself with people—have friends—but you killed them. Maybe you're lonely because you kill people." I said, reaching out and touching his hand gently.

"Or I kill people because I'm lonely." Dracula said a sudden noise sounded—Sam and Kate were there now too. "Did you hear that?"

I squeezed his hand, hoping to keep his attention focused on me because I could do this—I could either convince him to stop or kill him all on my own. No one else needed to be in trouble even though I could sense them _all_. Johnny, Kate, Sam and Dean were all in the mansion with me and there was only so much I could do about it. All I needed to do was to make sure that the shapeshifter stopped and then there was nothing else left…maybe I could be Mina _and_ Van Helsing all rolled up into one.

"You have to stop this." I explained to him.

He shook his head and looked to the door, sending Sam and Kate flying across the room all together, trying on Dean, but Johnny had a force field up. Strong as he was I knew it wouldn't last _too_ much longer and I took a deep breath. Then I watched as Dean set Johnny down and Johnny kept his force field up, Dean pointing a gun at Dracula, but he sent Dean across the room too. So I went for the gun and pointed it as Dracula, all of his attention on Dean, who had stood up again.

"You will never be Van Helsing!" Dracula exclaimed, grabbing a hold of him. "And you, Harker, now you die."

Dean kneed him to free himself. "How 'bout now you shut the hell up?"

Dracula went to kill him so I found the strength to shoot him in the back with the silver bullets, Sam helping Kate to stand and Johnny shielding his eyes. He was a good boy, but he'd just already seen someone die in front of him and I was worried about it. There was only so much I wanted him exposed to, and this? This was _not_ something that I thought that he should see.

"Silver?" Dracula asked, letting himself fall into a chair. "It was beauty that killed the beast. No, Mina, do not weep—perhaps this is how the movie should end."

I went to hold his hand as he died, feeling like I should at least do the movie a _little_ bit of justice, and then I picked up Johnny and held him close to me. How was I going to make this better for him? It was the middle of the night and thought the hunt was accomplished, Johnny had just been witness to a fight _and_ a kill and I wasn't sure either he _or_ I could handle that. What did this mean?

Dean came to me and held me close, the five of us heading back to the motel and actually getting a good night's sleep. Sure I was chastised about just running out, but everyone was all right and it wasn't until the morning when we were heading out that I noticed Kate had a _ring_ on her finger. I squealed about it as Dean carried Johnny on our way to the car, and Dean looked at us.

"He _finally_ did it! In the car you have to tell me the _whole_ story!" I exclaimed as I hugged my cousin tightly.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "He's been planning this and you knew?"

"Well yeah…it was just one of those Lana/Sam chats that's just between the two of us—don't take it personally." I told him shrugging and then I laughed a little. "You two are going to be siblings-in-law…you know that right?"

Dean and Kate both exchanged looks and then Kate and Sam got into the car and after I got Johnny into his car seat I smiled at the hand on my side. I turned to Dean and kissed him tenderly, wrapping my arms around his neck and then nuzzling my nose against his as he pulled back. He stroked my hair and kissed me again, both of us glad we were having these little moments even after what had happened between us.

"Feels good to be back on the job, doesn't it?" I asked him with a grin.

He nodded and kissed me gently. "Yeah, it does."

"The hero gets the girl, the monster gets the gank—all in all, happy ending." I told him with a laugh, kissing him again. "We did good, and our Dracula shifter had a point, you know? It would be nice if life was a movie."

"Yeah but I wouldn't do this 'Abbott and Costello meet the monster crap'." Dean told me making a face.

Sam laughed loudly. "Yeah…no—I know what you'd pick."

"No, you don't." Dean told him, leaning down a little to talk to his brother through the car window.

Sam nodded and laughed some more. "_Yeah_, I do."

"No, you don't." Dean said and then gave us all looks when we looked at him, our eyebrows raised. "You don't!"

"Porky's II." Sam said immediately, Kate and I nodding at him.

Dean looked at us all, rather surprised. "What?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "You heard him."

"Lucky guess." Dean told us, giving in because he knew just how well we knew him.

"Just get in the car, Perv." I told him with a laugh, rolling my eyes as well.

**Note: There you have it! A nice fluffy chapter, but it won't stay fluffy forever guys—you know me well enough by now to know that. Don't forget to take the poll! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	75. It's Only Fear

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Here is another chapter that's pretty comedic but at the same time is angsty and I hope you guys like it!**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Third Person**

It was dark outside that night, Dean's feet padding against the ground hard as he ran from growls closing in on him. At the bend in the street he hits a shopping cart and falls to the wet pavement. Immediately he picked himself up and pointed at the beast following him, the homeless man looking at him with a curious look on his face.

"Run! It'll kill you!" Dean exclaimed, but the man wasn't scared—Dean was running from a Yorkshire who simply growled a little and Dean took to his heels, the dog following him.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

**Rock Ridge, Colorado.**

**43 Hours Earlier**

"Agent Tyler, Agent Perry—meet Frank O'Brien." The forensic surgeon explained to Kate and me as he opened up the mortuary bag containing Frank's body.

We had split up into two teams of two and for once I actually felt a little awkward—as great as it was hunting with Kate, I kind of missed just hunting with Sam. Currently he was at the hotel with Lana and Johnny and it wasn't like I didn't want them there, it was just that the two of them had become so close again. They were best friends and I understood and accepted that, it was just that lately I'd been feeling like they had so many secrets from me—like Sam proposing to Kate.

"He died of a heart attack, right?" Kate asked the man as she looked at Frank's corpse.

He nodded and looked at her. "Three days ago."

"But O'Brien was 44 years old and, according to this, a marathon runner." Kate told him, as skeptical as I was about the nature of Frank's death.

"Everybody drops dead sooner or later." The doctor shrugged. "It's why I got job security."

"Yeah, but Frank kicked it here." I intervened, deciding to be part of this and not dwell on what Sam and Lana were and were not telling me. "Now, just yesterday, two perfectly healthy men bit it in Maumee—all heart attacks. You don't think that's strange?"

The doctor gave me a look. "Sounds like Maumee's problem to me. Why's the FBI give a damn, anyway?"

"We just want to see the results of Frank's autopsy." I told him shrugging.

"What autopsy?" The doctor asked.

I smiled at him and Kate gave him a look. "The one you're gonna do."

The doctor just kind of looked at us both for a moment and then nodded, caving to the idea and getting ready. We needed to make sure that this was definitely our kind of gig, and for that we had to be incredibly thorough. We knew we couldn't just run into things guns blazing—we had to be sure before we started killing things and salting and burning bones and what not.

"First dead body?" The coroner asked us as he started to cut Frank's chest open.

I chuckled a little at that. "Far from it."

"Oh, good, because these suckers can get pretty ripe." The coroner explained and then spoke up. "Hey, hand me those rib cutters, would you?"

"Is that from a wedding ring?" I asked him as I handed him the rib cutters, seeing a mark on Frank's left ring finger. "I didn't think Frank was married."

The coroner shrugged at me. "Ain't my department."

I just nodded and glanced at my own ring a second, Kate looking over the body with a small smile on her face. She always caught onto whenever I even _started_ to think about Lana, and she had even more to be happy about—not only did I truly love her cousin, but she was _engaged _to my brother and would someday understand this marriage thing. She would probably even take to it completely and even Sam might want to quit hunting for good. If everyone else around me quit…could I?

"Any idea how he got these?" Kate asked the coroner, showing him the scratches on the victim's forearm.

"You know what? When you drop dead, you actually tend to drop. Body probably got scraped up when it hit the ground. Huh!" He exclaimed, his hand deep in Frank's chest.

Kate looked at him. "What?"

"I…I can't find any blockages in any of the major arteries." The coroner explained and he just tore the heart off, which I really don't understand why I couldn't stomach it, but I couldn't and Kate tried hard not to laugh at me, but she found my slight squeamishness entertaining and I knew it. "Heart looks pretty damn healthy. Hold that a second, would you?"

I held the heart when he handed it to me, Kate laughing softly to herself just a minute, but suddenly some blood spurted her in the face almost. At first I was going to laugh, but she had a force field up pretty quick and dodge her head, some blood hitting the wall. She was quick enough that the coroner really didn't notice that anything was weird but that had been close. What if he _had_ seen her use her powers and knew that something was up?

"Oh, sorry. Spleen juice." The coroner explained, and I just laughed a little because honestly I was glad _I _hadn't been spurted with any blood.

Kate gave me a look since I had laughed at her, and then the two of us continued what we were doing before heading to the Sheriff station. Normally this was the kind of job that Sam and I would do together, but Kate wanted to do it and Sam wanted to spend some quality time with Lana and I wasn't going to stop him. They'd been close since before Lana and I had gotten close and I couldn't get in the way of their friendship—I _wouldn't_.

"He's kind of cute." Kate said with a shrug and a smile when we walked into the station and the young Deputy Sheriff smiled at us as we showed him our fake badges. "Not Sammy, but if we need information, I can get it out of him."

I laughed a little and nodded. "Good to know."

"And hey if he goes for men, you're _perfect _for the task of seduction." Kate told me, nudging me with her elbow.

"Hell's Bells, Linus, have you seen my—" The Sheriff said coming out of his office before I could even counter that with reminding her what had happened earlier that morning. "Who are they?"

"Federal agents." Linus answered him. "I, uh—"

"—and you kept them waiting?" The Sheriff interrupted him.

Linus looked at him sheepishly. "You…you said not to disturb."

"Yeah, he wants _you_." Kate whispered to me.

I shot her a look because I wasn't going to flirt with some young slightly attractive Deputy just for information. I had my standards and they did _not_ involve flirting with men who were into other men. Dean Winchester was a _woman's_ man, and it was going to stay that way. There was just an image that I had created that didn't need to be destroyed and if we wanted info out of him…_Kate_ was getting it out of him.

"Come on back, you two." The Sheriff told us, motioning for us to follow him. "Shoes off." He asked and then once we'd done that he let us into his office and went to shake our hands, Kate's first. "Al Britton. Good to meet you."

Kate smiled at him as he offered for us to sit. "You too—thank you."

"Okay," He said nodding, disinfecting his hands before finishing his sentence, which made Kate and I both pull surprised faces, "so…what can I do for Uncle Sam?"

"Well, we're looking into the death of Frank O'Brien." Kate responded in that Meckenzie way that made everyone want to tell them just about anything. "We understand some of your men found his body."

"They did. Me and Frank…we were friends. Hell, we were Gamecocks." The Sheriff explained and Kate nudged me in the ribs with a smile on her face as I chuckled so I had to regain composure and become serious again. "That's our softball team's name. They're majestic animals. I knew Frank since High School. To be honest, I just this morning got up the strength to go see him. Frank was…he was a good man."

I nodded at that. "Yeah…big heart."

I looked at Kate who shot me a look, obviously not enjoying my joke. It was kind of strange because normally Kate and I were on the same page but I just couldn't read her right then. Why wasn't she laughing? Why didn't she think I was funny? What happened to the girl who cracked dirty jokes with me long after Sam and Lana got sick and tired of hearing them?

"Before he died, did you notice Frank acting strange? Maybe scared of something?" Kate asked him, returning focus back to why we were here.

The Sheriff nodded almost immediately. "Oh, Hell, yeah—real jumpy."

"You know what scared him?" Kate asked with a look on her face that meant the wheels were already turning in her head.

"No. Wouldn't answer his phone. Finally, I sent some of my boys over to check on him, and, well, you know the rest." He told us before going into a coughing fit and then disinfecting his hands once again. "So, why do the feds give a crap? You don't really think there's a case here?"

I shook my head at that. "No, no. It's…it's probably nothing. Just a heart attack."

We thanked the Sheriff for his time and then walked outside the building, me telling Kate almost immediately that there was no way that was a heart attack and she agreed with me. All of the victims had the same red scratches and all of them went from jittery to terrified to dead within 48 hours. Then all of a sudden…all of a sudden Kate was _laughing_.

"Big heart—I do kind of miss hanging out with you one on one. When you're not being a royal douche, you're actually kind of hilarious." Kate told me, smiling at me and nodding. "I'm glad I'm almost your sister-in-law."

I smiled at her and nodded as we headed down the sidewalk. "I'm glad you're almost my sister-in-law too, Kate."

"Good. Now, uh, what could scare them to death? Then again what can't right? Ghosts, vampires, chupacabra—it could be a hundred things." Kate told me miserably. "I guess we should start with the last person to see Frank O'Brien alive."

"Uh, his neighbor, Mark Hutchins." I reminded her, and then saw a group of teenagers down the way that seemed shady to me. "Hang on, hey."

Kate raised her eyebrows at me. "What?"

"I don't like the looks of those teenagers down there." I replied, Kate looking at them and then looking at me funny. "Let's walk this way."

"They look like four normal teenagers to me you big baby." Kate told me, but she followed me across the street anyway. "Lead the way, Princess."

xxxx

**Sam's POV**

I smiled at Lana as she burped Johnny, bouncing up and down a bit and patting his back, still able to carry on a conversation with me. Honestly the first time I'd met Lana I'd never pegged her as a mother, but it was almost like she was made to be one and it made her happy. I'd always wanted her happy and she'd always wanted that for me and now we both were—and we'd found people to be happy with…to spend the rest of our probably short lives with. It was times like this that I wondered why Lana would shorten that time just to bring her mother back. Then again, Lana and Dean had a lot more in common than they would admit to _anyone_.

"So have you told Dean about your pregnancy 'scare' yet?" I asked her, not wanting to bring up Florence _quite_ yet.

Lana gave me a look. "No, and I don't plan to. There's been no reason to bring it up and I don't see there being a reason in the future to bring it up. I thought I was pregnant, I wasn't, end of discussion."

"But it's _not_ the end of the discussion, Lan—you _wanted_ another baby and now Dean's here for you two to try again." I told her with a shrug of my shoulders. "Why not focus on the now and be happy, Lan?"

"Sammy, it's not that simple and you know it. On top of Lilith wanting Lucifer to rise, I sold my soul and I'm not going to leave _another_ kid behind. I feel bad enough I'll be leaving Johnny-Bear." She admitted with a sad smile. "I can't do it to _two_ kids, Sammy…I just can't."

I sighed and gave her a look. "We have ten _whole_ years to get you out of this deal, Lanni—we'll get you out."

Lana then gave _me_ a look. "We thought we were going to get _Dean_ out."

I hated that she had brought that up to counter me because it was true—we had tried _desperately_ to get Dean out of his deal and failed. Then he had gone to Hell and even though thankfully he couldn't remember a thing that had happened to him down there, we all felt a little responsible that he had _had_ to go down because there was more that we could have done. We all still felt guilty that we hadn't taken every measure into account and now it was Lana's soul on the line and we were all upset again.

Lana selling her soul didn't warrant Dean to go out and cheat—none of us forgave him for that except for Lana. She had such complete faith in him and even though he had almost crushed that for her…he _hadn't_. He had come home and he had explained to her what it was that he had thought about doing and then he asked for forgiveness and he had been trying _so_ hard to make us all forgive him. Lana deserved so much and she wanted so much and she wanted Dean—and that was enough for all of us.

"We know that there are lines we may have to cross this time around and most of all we have _time_." I pointed out to her, smiling and taking Johnny from her when she held him out to me.

Lana nodded slowly. "That may be true, but we both know how valuable my soul is."

"I don't care." I said firmly, chuckling a little when Johnny grabbed my nose and then let go of it, laughing his adorable laugh and then doing it again like it was a game. "Johnny is going to grow up with his mother. Dean and I didn't get that—Hell we hardly ever had our Dad with us—and you can bet that we're going to do _everything_ in our power to make sure that you and Johnny get the chance that we never had. Besides, you've already died once so…I think dying again would just be overkill."

"God I've missed our talks." Lana told me with a smile on her face, leaning in and kissing my cheek. "Let's make a promise that we won't be adding Kate to the list of Winchester deaths, okay? I died, then you died, then Dean died—I'd like it if Kate got to stay alive."

I nodded quickly. "I want nothing more than that, I assure you. Speaking of talks…why'd you _really_ bring your mother back?"

Lana had tried to explain it to us, but for some reason I just saw _so_ many flaws in what she had been saying to us. It was as if there was some underlying reason that she really didn't want to tell us and that made sense to me…it made sense to me but at the same time? At the same time I had a feeling that whatever it was, she was keeping it from us for a reason.

"I needed answers, Sammy. I needed answers and she was the _only_ one who could give them to me. Come on…I'm turning into something and I just needed her to help me through the transition. I don't want to hurt you and everyone around me when I make the complete transition—when I finally get through the barriers that my mother put in place when I was a child…there's just so much at stake, Sammy." Lana explained to me. "Can you understand that?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. "I understand that, Lan—that doesn't mean I have to like it."

"I don't even like it." Lana said with a laugh, kissing Johnny's forehead and stroking his blonde hair. "I don't want to leave my baby boy but I didn't have any other options this is the only way that we could all be safe…I'm sorry for the price, but I'm not going to try and change my mother being alive—changing having to go to Hell I'm more than happy to do."

"Well I'm glad to hear _that_ at least." I told her with a smile, both of us looking at Johnny as he said 'Daddy'. "God it must have been hard to hear _that_ as his first word at the time."

Lana sat down next to me and ran her hand over Johnny's hair. "You really have no idea."

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

Dean and I made it to Mark Hutchins' house and even though I was a little worried about Dean's slightly off behavior, there was really no reason to dwell on it. Mark owned all types of pets of all kinds and I thought it was kind of cool along with being super creepy. He must have had a fear of being alone or something because honestly _no one_ needed to have _this _many pets.

"Tyler and Perry. Just like Aerosmith." Mark pointed out to us after looking at our badges, stroking the snake around his neck.

I laughed a little and tried to ignore Dean checking out his surroundings more than usual. "Yeah—it's a small word. So, the last time you saw Frank O'Brien?"

"Monday. He was watching me from his window. I waved at him, but he just closed the curtains." Mark replied with a soft shrug as we all sat down.

"Interesting." I told him nodding. "Did you speak to him recently? Did he seem different? Scared perhaps?"

"Oh, totally—he was freaking out." Mark answered and I nodded, looking back to Dean.

He was being a little _too _quiet, and on top of it all he actually looked like he was pretty scared. I wasn't sure exactly what was happening, but I was starting to feel like maybe somehow we'd already stumbled into what we were looking for. He was scared…all of the victims had been scared to death—and I, Kate Newman, did _not_ believe in coincidences.

"Do you know, uh…do you know what scared him?" Dean asked when he noticed my eyes on him.

Mark nodded at that. "Well, yeah, witches."

"Witches?" I asked him quizzically, _really_ hoping we weren't going to have to deal with some sort of coven right now.

"Well, _**Wizard of Oz**_ was on TV the other night, right? And he said that green bitch was totally out to get him." Mark informed us.

I raised my eyebrows. "Anything else scared him?"

"Everything else scared him." Mark said as Dean started to get a little more fidgety next to me. "Al-Qaeda, ferrets, artificial sweetener—those Pez dispensers with their dead little eyes…lots of stuff."

Helpful as the information was, I wasn't really finding any of the information particularly relevant yet. There _had_ to be something to tie all of this together, but what was it? I was supposed to one of the best damn hunters out there but I wasn't entirely focused and I was rather upset with myself about that.

"So, tell me…what was Frank like?" I asked Mark directly.

Mark looked at me. "I mean, he's dead, you know? I…I don't want to hammer him, but he got better."

"He got better?" I repeated with a small laugh.

"Well, in high school he was…he was a dick." Mark replied simply. "Like a bully. I mean, he probably taped half the town's butt cheeks together, mine included."

I elbowed Dean when he laughed and the he covered saying, "So he pissed a lot of people off. You think anyone would have wanted to get revenge?"

"Well, I don't…" Mark began, but he trailed off and suddenly looked a little disconcerted. "Frank had a heart attack, right?"

"Just answer the question, sir." I told him, needing this answer.

Mark shook his head. "No, I don't think so. Like I said, he got better after what happened to his wife."

"His wife?" Dean asked him, glancing at his wedding ring. "So he was married."

I smiled a little at the way that Dean said the word 'married'. It was a little hard to believe that Dean was so in love with Lana and at the same time it was so _easy_ to believe. The man was the same man she had met and yet he had grown up quite a lot and he was happy…he was happy to be _married_. He'd never thought he would think something like that, but he did and I had been lucky enough to hear the words out of _his_ mouth—he wanted everyone to feel as lucky as he did everyday.

"She died about 20 years ago. Frank was really broken up about it. Don't be scared of Donny." Mark said suddenly in the middle of explaining to me, seeing the way Dean was looking at the snake around his neck—Dean was _terrified_. "He's a sweetheart. It's Marie you got to look out for. She smells fear."

Suddenly there was a large snake slithering along the top of the couch, sliding down Dean, resting on his leg a moment. I honestly thought that Dean might up and wet himself as he tried to take deep breaths and made fists with his hands. Then I remembered that we doing a job and I helped Dean out of his predicament before we thanked Mark and then headed back to the hotel to tell Sam and Lana about all of our findings.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

When Kate and Dean got back to us, Sam and I smiled at them, and we all got ready to go and take a little drive to a diner, eating some dinner. Dean was acting kind of strangely and even made up some weird excuse _not_ to have a quickie in the backseat and I raised my eyebrows. What exactly was up with him and was it connected to the strange deaths in town? What if Dean had just caught whatever it was that the others had died from?

"Hey, any luck at the county clerk's office?" Sam asked as he and Kate got back into the car.

While we were out, we decided to go ahead and keep researching, Sam and Kate heading to one place, Dean and I to another and now we were picking them up. Dean had been itching his arm and I was pretty sure he had a rash, plus he was _super_ jumpy which wasn't normal…what was going on with my husband? If he had whatever was killing people, I wasn't going to be all right—we needed to figure this out.

"I'm not sure we'd call it luck." I replied with a shrug as I fed Johnny, a blanket over me since I was breastfeeding. "Frank's wife, Jessie, was a manic-depressive. She went off her meds back in '88 and vanished—Dean grabbed the article. They found her two weeks later, three towns over, strung up in her motel room…suicide."

Sam nodded as he looked at the newspaper. "Any chance Frank helped her along to the other side?"

"No, Frank was working the swing shift when she disappeared. Airtight alibi." Dean told him, starting the car even though I wasn't done feeding Johnny yet. "How was Frank's pad?"

"Clean—Kate and I searched it top to bottom. No EMF, no hex bags, no silver." Sam said with a shrug and then gave Dean a look when Dean glanced back at me as I helped Johnny off of my breast and then tucked myself back in and burped him. "We gonna go?"

"When Johnny's in his car seat. So uh…probably no ghosts, no witches, no demons. 3 down and 97 to go." Dean told Sam, trying to lighten the mood.

I laughed a little and put Johnny in his car seat once he burped, kissing his head and handing him his binkie and his blanket. Then Dean pulled out onto the road and Kate explained everything they saw in Frank's and suddenly we were all staring at Dean. He was going so slowly compared to normal and even _Johnny _was alert and kind of wondering what it was that had gotten into his father.

"Dude, you're going 20." Sam told Dean after taking a look at the speedometer.

Dean shrugged a little. "And?"

"That's the speed limit." Sam replied to him.

"What? Safety's a crime now? Besides, there's a baby in the care so I have to be safe." Dean asked, annoyed with us, and then Kate spoke up when we drove past the Bluebird.

"Okay, Dean, where are you going? That was our hotel and Johnny needs to sleep since it's night time." Kate told him and then she made a face.

Dean gave her a look. "Guys, I'm not gonna make a left-hand turn into oncoming traffic. I'm not suicidal."

"Is that the EMF signal?" I asked, Kate and I looking at Sam as Sam took it out of his jacket.

"That was kind of weird." Dean admitted when he thought about what he had said and then he looked at Sam completely freaked out as Sam pointed the EMF radar at him and it went crazy. "What the hell? Am I haunted? Am I _haunted_?"

None of us really knew what to say to that so we eventually just got back to the hotel and went up to put Johnny to bed, all of us taking deep breaths. Kate and Sam snuggled up with each other practically immediately, me taking Dean by the hand as he made a face at the mark on his arm. We had tried to get a hold of Bobby, but he wasn't answering, so we'd left a message and I just wanted to take Dean's mind off of what was happening.

"Remember that list that we made before you died?" I asked him softly as I took him outside.

Dean made a face. "We shouldn't leave the other three in the hotel room sleeping."

"Baby, they're going to be fine—do you remember the list?" I asked him, kissing him gently as we paused a moment.

"Yeah…I remember the list—I remember that you wouldn't do three of the things on that list. Like number 12?" He told me softly.

I made a face and stroked his hair as his hands found my hips and his thumbs ran along my hip bones. "Number 12 was dirty and I don't roll that way—I don't roll _that_ dirty, Mister. However…how about number 8?"

"Right now?" Dean asked, glancing around. "Someone is going to see, Lanni."

I shrugged and went for his belt. "All _you_ have to do is enjoy this one, and come on…I want it—we haven't had any sex since our fight and your little bar tryst. You know what? I wouldn't even mind making a new list…adding to the one we have…"

Dean chuckled, and even though he seemed pretty nervous and he looked around again, he let me drag him to the side of the hotel and leaned against it, kissing me back as my lips crashed into his. By now I was able to get his belt undone like a pro, unbuttoning his jeans and sliding my hand into his boxers. If I dragged it out _too_ much, I was worried Dean would get _too_ nervous and this wouldn't happen…it _was_ after all in a semi-public place and Dean so _obviously_ was infected with whatever had affected the other victims.

"Lanni…" Dean whispered.

I smiled at him and just kissed him, tugging on him in the ways he liked and giggling a little as he slipped his hand into my jeans as well. We decided to tune out the rest of the world and brought each other over the edge together, our chests heaving together as we paused for a moment to let our bodies come down from the pleasing high. All that I had wanted to do was make Dean feel more comfortable and relaxed and I felt like I had accomplished just that, so I smiled.

Dean kissed me when it was over, both of us trying to catch our breaths as our bodies heaved, me cupping Dean's face and stroking it as he ran his fingers through my hair. He went to tuck himself in as I fixed our shirts and fastened up my own pants, both of us pressing our lips together one last time. It was nice to be able to be this close to each other even though something potentially bad was happening to him, and I laughed a little when he went to kiss my neck.

"We don't have time to do that again." I told him, running my fingers through his hair.

He smiled at me and kissed me gently. "Thank you for that…now we should go before someone catches us—besides, this was dangerous. What about splinters? Bacteria?"

"I kind of like you all jittery." I said laughing at how ridiculous what he had just said sounded, and I kissed him again. "Let's go inside."

xxxx

The following morning, Dean and I had a little fun in the shower even though the idea was freaking him out. I had to take matters into my own hands and just use my mouth, wondering how Dean was going to feel about all of this when we got him out of this. They were things I didn't normally do and I felt like he was going to expect them now and part of me was okay with that—it was about time we took new steps in the marriage.

Sam had gone to talk to Bobby with Kate, me and Johnny hanging out in the Impala with Dean—Dean was rocking out to _**Eye of Tiger**_ while Johnny laughed at his father being all adorable lying across the front seats pretending he had drum sticks. He was freaked out to go back up to the hotel room and I was just smiling at him as Johnny cooed, both of us enjoying watching him, Sam and Kate coming back over, Sam banging on the top of the car with a box of doughnuts in his hand and Dean freaked and sat up, immediately turning off the radio and getting out of the car as Johnny and I laughed a little and Johnny watched us from his car seat.

"Dude, look at this." Dean told us all, showing us the rash on his arm as he scratched it.

I made a face. "I think it's getting worse."

"Yeah, well, I just talked to Bobby." Sam explained to him and gave Dean the box of doughnuts. "Um, well, you're not gonna like it."

"Great…that means it's going to be hard to correct." I said as Kate, Sam and I raised our eyebrows at Dean tossing the box of doughnuts onto the seat without even touching it—he hadn't even gone to eat them.

Sam took a deep breath. "It's ghost sickness."

"Ghost sickness?" Dean asked them as I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Yeah…awesome." I said with a sigh, looking at Johnny.

"God, no!" Dean exclaimed as he leaned against the car and we all nodded. "I don't even know what that is."

We all laughed a little and I ran my fingers through his hair, still finding him adorable even though I knew that Kate, Sam and I knew what it was. I opened my mouth first to explain it because I wanted to explain it to him and have him focus, knowing he focused on me more than on Sam. Kate just kind of observed Dean's behavior and took it all in, looking like she knew that something else was up.

"Some cultures believe that certain spirits can infect the living with a disease, which is why they stopped displaying bodies in houses and started taking them off to funeral homes." I explained to him.

Dean nodded slowly. "Okay, get to the good stuff."

"Symptoms are you get anxious," Kate began to ramble off, Dean nodding, "and scared, then really scared, then your heart gives out. Sound familiar?"

"Yeah, but, guys, we haven't seen a ghost in weeks." Dean said softly, giving us all looks.

"Well, I doubt you caught it from a ghost." I told him with a laugh. "Look, once a spirit infects that first person, ghost sickness can spread like any sickness through a cough, a handshake, whatever—it's like the flu."

Sam nodded quickly. "Now, Frank O'Brien was the first to die, which means he was probably the first infected: patient zero."

"Our very own outbreak monkey." Dean said nodding.

I nodded too, thinking about what Kate and Dean had told me about what had happened with the autopsy. Dean had gotten himself sprayed with some of the bodily juices and Kate had avoided them with her force field. This meant that he was infected by Frank…which meant that somehow the whole hunt had something to do with Frank, and potentially his wife.

"Right, get this—Frank was in Maumee over the weekend. Softball tournament, which is where he must have infected the other two victims." Sam explained to him.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Were they Gamecocks?"

"Cornjerkers." Kate replied with a shrug. "It looks like the ghost infected Frank, he passed it on to the other guys, and you got it from his corpse."

"So now, what, I have 48 hours before I go insane and my heart stops?" Dean asked us.

I swallowed and looked at him. "More like 24."

"You actually had your hands in him and Bobby has a theory—all three of the victims shared a certain personality type: Frank was a bully. The other two victims…one was a vice principal, the other was a bouncer—they all used fear as a weapon and now this disease is just returning the favor."

"I don't scare people." Dean protested, giving us looks.

We all gave Dean looks and then I smiled a little, trying hard not to laugh at the face he was making. This whole situation was pretty upsetting for him because he was scared of everything right now and he normally could keep that under wraps—he wasn't ever _this_ scared in public. Especially around the rest of us…he really didn't like being the one that was wearing his emotions on his sleeves.

"Dean, all we do is scare people." Sam pointed out to him.

Dean frowned and pointed to Kate. "Well if we're going by that logic, then Kate is a dick too."

"Apparently, I'm not." Kate said sticking her tongue out.

"Whatever. How do we stop it?" Dean asked us.

"We gank the ghost that started all this. We do that, the disease should clear up." Sam explained with a shrug and a nod.

Dean looked at him. "You think it's Frank's wife?"

"Who knows why she killed herself, you know?" Sam asked with a shrug, and then he looked hard at Johnny, Dean and I out at the Impala and raised his eyebrows. "Hey, what are you doing waiting out here, anyway?"

Dean looked at him like he should have known the answer to that, and I took a deep breath and started to smile some more. He was my adorable husband with ghost sickness, and to be honest, I kind of liked him all cute and jumpy this way. At the same time I knew it was going to get on my nerves eventually so the quicker we took care of the problem, the better.

"Our room's on the fourth floor." Dean told him pointedly.

Kate raised her eyebrows and stared at him. "And?"

"And it's too high for him." I told her, trying hard not to laugh as Johnny beamed.

Sam sighed and nodded. "I'll see if I can move us down to the first."

Dean nodded too. "Thanks."

"Sure." Sam replied, and turned towards the hotel.

Kate laughed and took Sam's hand, their fingers intertwining. "Wow…"

I smiled at them as they went, glad to still see them so much in love and hoping to see them married soon. The two of them deserved to be as happy as I was most days, and as I thought about that, I realized that Dean really _should_ be forgiven. He didn't cheat on me because he loved me too much, and to be fair, I had driven him to doubt me. We needed to talk more, and we would…after he stopped being so damn adorable!

"Don't laugh!" Dean told me, pointing his finger in my face as I tried to keep the snicker in.

I failed, however, and started laughing, Johnny joining in. "I can't help it! You're adorable!"

"Knock it off!" Dean said, looking at Johnny and shaking his head.

"Johnny and I just find you all cute when you're all jumpy." I said with a shrug, wrapping my arms around his neck after fixing his jacket. "Kiss me."

"No, you laughed at me." Dean told me pouting.

I smiled and kissed him, Dean kissing me back and then pulling back because he was worried about people seeing and about me getting infected. He started to freak out about the sex up against the hotel the night before and then pulled out of my arms until I forced him up against the car and glanced at Johnny who was just sucking on his binkie and watching. It was a slightly awkward moment, but I looked Dean in the eye and I smiled a little, kissing him softly and keeping my hands away from his pants.

"I'm immune to practically everything because of the demon blood in me—Johnny too. The sex last night didn't change anything…neither did the little shower tryst this morning." I whispered, kissing him softly and then pulling back and getting Johnny out of his seat when Kate and Sam came back with the room change and Johnny made noises of protest—he wanted out of his car seat. "How's my little Johnny-Bear?"

Johnny smiled before he snuggled into me. "Mommy."

"I love you too, Johnny-Bear." I said kissing his head, catching his binkie when it fell out of his mouth to speak and holding it back up to his mouth. "Let's go switch rooms."

Everyone agreed with me and we headed to the room, Johnny and I sitting on the floor and playing with some blocks while Kate and Sam headed off to do more research. Dean opened up a book that had to do with ghost sickness and started to read through it, me glancing over as he opened up his eyes wide like he was reading something weird. When I opened my mouth to speak he just shook his head and so I looked at Johnny and opened my mouth up wide in a big grin, tickling his stomach and then both of us looked up suddenly as Dean threw the clock onto the floor and it broke.

"Shhh, its okay, Johnny-Bear." I whispered soothingly as his lip began to quiver, scared by his father's behavior.

There was so much more to my little guy than I really knew and even though it seemed sometimes like he had no idea what to do, I knew he did. On some level Johnny knew how to use his powers, he just wasn't really good at it yet and that was what I was there to help him with…until I followed through with my plan. There just wasn't anything to go off of yet, even though I was doing my research, and I couldn't very well leave them now…

"Have a beer." I told Dean calmly, grabbing him one out of the mini fridge as Johnny played with some blocks and I pointed to the couch. "Sit and take deep breaths."

Dean gave me a look. "What makes you think that you're being helpful?"

"You need to calm down because Johnny is going to cry if you keep this up. You're far too tense, and I get that you're scared, but I'm here." I explained to him.

"Thank you." Dean said with a nod, taking the beer from me and kissing my temple as I sat down next to him. "I just can't help freaking out right now."

"Its okay, Baby, I get it." I responded, kissing his cheek as he opened up the beer cautiously. "I understand."

Dean nodded and after a few more minutes Sam and Kate came back, looking at the clock and nodding a little. I didn't know if it was the ticking or what, but Dean had had it out for the clock and now he was quiet, just focusing on his beer as Johnny played quietly on the floor. He smiled up at his Aunt and Uncle and then went back to his toys, Sam focusing attention on Dean.

"Everything all right?" Sam asked Dean.

Dean nodded at him. "Oh, yeah, just peachy. Find anything?"

"Yeah: Jessie O'Brien's body was cremated, so I'm pretty sure she is not our ghost." Kate responded with a shrug and a 'sorry' face, Dean scratching his rash again.

"Hey—quit picking at that." Sam said, reaching out and stopping his brother's hand. "How you feeling?"

"Awesome." Dean responded sarcastically. "It's nice to have my head on the chopping block again—I almost forgot what that feels like."

I gave him a look. "Dean, that's really not a funny joke."

Kate and Sam agreed with me as Dean began to say something else sarcastically, Johnny crying suddenly right before Dean started having a coughing fit. I got off of the couch and scooped Johnny up into my arms, rocking him as Dean ran into the bathroom to spit something into the washbowl, Sam and Kate focused on Dean.

"What the…?" Dean asked as he showed us a little piece of wood he'd just hacked up.

Sam nodded slowly. "We've been completely ignoring the biggest clue we have…you."

"I don't want to be a clue." Dean whined, and honestly even though I was terrified it had gone on this long without us finding something, he was adorable when he pouted.

"The abrasion—this is trying to tell us something." Kate told him, heading over to the research again.

"Tell us what?" Dean asked looking directly at her. "Wood chips?"

Kate smiled at him. "Exactly."

Kate looked over the research a little more and then suggested that we head to the mill because it seemed like all of the victims had the mill in common, and the wood chip Dean hacked up made sense to fit there. At first Johnny and I were told to stay home, but with my newly honed powers and me still trying to unlock what my mother so obviously had tried hard to keep hidden, we were allowed. Johnny and I could take care of ourselves, and we'd stay by the car just in case anything happened and we were needed—we weren't putting ourselves in _immediate _danger.

"I'm not going in there." Dean told us all after he got out of the car.

Sam sighed and looked at Dean. "I thought we agreed in the car that I need back-up and Lan might need help so Kate was going to stay out here and protect your wife—you're going in."

"Why can't I stay out here and protect my wife? Kate can fight better than me right now." Dean replied, taking a giant swig of whiskey.

"Lana has Johnny and you fighting right now?" Kate pointed out to him.

Dean took another giant swig of whiskey and nodded. "Let's do this!"

We all looked at Dean and nodded at his faked enthusiasm, knowing that the ghost sickness was really setting in right then. He was scared of every single little thing, and though I wanted Sam to have real back-up and I knew Johnny and I would be fine, I wasn't arguing. Besides…Sam could do this, right?

"It is a little spooky, isn't it?" Dean pointed out to us as Sam grabbed some weapons out of the trunk and tried to hand one to Dean, Dean shaking his head and holding the flashlight with both hands. "Oh, I'm not carrying that—it could go off. I'll man the flashlight."

"You do that." Sam replied with a nod.

I shook my head. "Oh, no—Kate is going in there with you guys. I'm not losing Sam."

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

I was glad that I was going to get to go inside the mill and have Sam's back, both of us insisting that Dean come with us. He was the one hit by the ghost sickness and he was at a stage that he could tell us more about the situation and help us out. There was bound to be something in there that might spark something with Dean because Sam was right—the ghost was trying to tell us something and Dean was our biggest clue to the secret.

"Are you sure that's going to work?" I asked Sam as he pulled out the EMF radar to try and get an EMF signal.

Dean nodded as it went off, his hand on Sam's arm. "EMF's not gonna work with me around, is it?"

"You don't say!" Sam responded and put the EMF radar back into his pocket, looking at Dean and I. "Come on."

"Wait." I told him, spotting something on the ground and smiling a little when Sam reached out to put his hand on Dean's chest to stop him and Dean jumped at the action. "It's a ring. 'To Frank. Love, Jessie'. It's Frank O'Brien's ring."

"What the hell was Frank doing here?" Dean asked us.

Sam shook his head. "No idea."

We headed farther into the mill and then suddenly there was a sound and we went up to the employees' locker room, pointing a gun at one of the lockers. There was definitely a noise coming from within it and Sam opened up the door, a cat getting out of it. Dean was screaming and freaking out more than he had before, and I wanted to laugh while Sam just stood there completely not believing his eyes, and a small snicker escaped—as insensitive as it might have been—Dean taking in a breath and bending over, hands on his knees before returning to an upright position.

"That was scary!" Dean exclaimed but Sam left the room without a word and Dean rushed to follow him, me following after calmly, arriving in another room.

Sam picked up an employee card while Dean headed for a desk with a picture of a woman on it. "Luther Garland."

"Hey, this is, uh…this is Frank's wife." Dean told us, unfolding the article about Jessie.

"Plot thickens." Sam responded, he and I heading over to Dean.

"Yeah…but into what?" Dean asked us, freaking out when the mill started after he ripped the picture of Jessie, trying to pick it up to see it. "Hey!"

Dean swept the room with the flashlight as Sam and I looked around, our eyes resting on Dean, who was frozen to the spot. Sam and I immediately pointed our guns at the man that we saw, trying to get his attention and then turning to see if Dean was all right—but Dean was no longer by us. He was running for his life with the flashlight out of the mill, headed back to the Impala, me shooting at the man that came towards us, watching as he disintegrated—ghost.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I looked up from playing Peek-A-Boo with Johnny to see running as fast as he could out of the mill. Johnny stopped laughing, but still had a faint smile on his face as Dean came right for me and wrapped his arms around me, hiding his face in me. I ran my fingers through his hair and held him close as he tried to catch his breath, trying hard not to laugh at the fact that he was running to me for protection from the things that went bump in the night, Sam and Kate coming out and nodding.

"Guess we got the right place." Sam said as he showed me an employee card. "I'm sure this is our ghost, so let's get to the Sheriff station and ask some more questions."

I nodded and kissed Dean's head, placing a soft kiss to his mouth as he straightened up and looked at me. He seemed a little eager to feel safe so I kissed him again as Kate went to get in the car, taking the passenger seat when I told her Dean would sit in the back with Johnny and I. Dean didn't seem to mind and got into the back, glancing at me every once in a while, glad and yet a little unnerved I was sure that I was watching him…looking after him.

"I think Linus will help us." Kate said when we got there. "He seemed accommodating enough and totally into Dean."

I laughed and smiled at that as I got Johnny into the carrier on my front. "Even men want a piece of my husband."

Kate laughed and we headed into the sheriff station, asking Linus to get us the file on Luther Garland. Linus headed for it and forked it over, Kate smiling at him and handing it over to Sam who gave it a once over, Dean standing unsteadily and me sitting in the waiting area smiling at my son. He reached out and got a hold of my nose, making me smile, a woman watching us, her eyes on Dean.

"Is he…drunk?" Linus asked as Dean scratched his arm through his suit and tried to shake off the unsteadiness.

"No." Sam told him after glancing at Dean, me reaching up to touch Dean's hand, Sam looking back at the file. "Deputy, according to this, Luther Garland's cause of death was physical trauma. What does that mean?"

Linus looked at him. "The guy died 20 years ago…before my time. Sorry."

"Then can we talk to the Sheriff?" Kate asked Linus.

"Um, he's out sick today." Linus explained with a shrug.

"Well, if you see him, will you have him call us?" Kate asked him sweetly. "We're staying at the Bluebird. Mind if I take this?"

Sam motioned for us to follow him and Kate out, me getting up from the seat following, stopping when Dean didn't. We all turned to see him smile at Linus and point at him, wondering what it was that he was doing and why. Yeah, he was just acting weird all over the place, but what was this?

"Know what? You're awesome." Dean informed Linus.

"Thanks." Linus answered smiling. "Um, y…you too, I guess."

Sam went over to him and took him by the shoulders, leading him out so that we could continue our investigation. We were running out of time and we needed to get down to the bottom of this, all of us checking the file again and heading to Peaceful Pines: Assisted Living. We were going to talk to Luther Garland's brother about him and about the accident with Jessie.

We headed into the Elderly's Home, turning around a corner and watching as Dean came face to face with an old woman and freaked out. I reached out to take his hand, wanting Kate and Sam to do this instead because honestly it would make more sense. Dean and I could stay in the car with Johnny and it would get done faster. Besides, it wasn't like Dean was really physically fit to handle this.

"This isn't gonna work!" Dean told us all. "Come on, these badges are fake. What if we get busted? We could go to jail."

I took a deep breath. "I'm taking my husband out to the car, all right? You and Kate have this under control, Sammy, and I think it would be best if he wasn't here almost getting you guys caught. Break a leg."

"They don't want to do that!" Dean exclaimed and I smiled a little and took his hand, tugging him back towards the entrance. "Yeah, okay, I'll go with you."

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

To be honest, I felt really bad for Dean—this was something he couldn't control and he was freaking out about it. All I could do was do this with Sam and get all the rest of the answers that we needed so we could save Dean. He had too much to live for and I wasn't going to let him die when his family needed him.

"Mr. Garland," Sam said as we arrived in the cafeteria area where he was sitting by himself in his wheelchair with a cup of coffee, "hi. Um…I'm Agent Tyler. This is Agent Perry—FBI. We'd like to ask you a few questions about your brother Luther."

Mr. Garland nodded. "Let me see some I.D."

"Certainly," Sam answered and he and I showed them our fake badges.

"What do you want to know?" Mr. Garland asked us after looking them over, Sam motioning for me to sit and I did.

"Uh, well," Sam began before sitting down and opening Luther's file. "According to this, your brother Luther died of physical trauma. You don't agree?"

"No, I don't." He responded after scoffing at the report.

I nodded and looked directly at him. "Well, then, what would you call it?"

"Don't matter what an old man thinks." He replied stubbornly.

I smiled a little, knowing that whether I was technically a Newman or not, that Meckenzie smile got us Meckenzie women through almost anything. He looked at me and I folded my hands on the table, Sam smiling at me and letting me take the reins on this one. Mr. Garland looked at me, making eye contact after a moment and I opened up my mouth to speak.

"Mr. Garland…we're just trying to get the truth on your brother." I explained to him with a soft shrug. "Please."

He nodded and took a deep breath as he looked at his brother's card. "Everybody was scared of Luther—they called him a monster. He was too big, too mean-looking…just too different. Didn't matter he was the kindest man I ever knew. Didn't matter he'd never hurt no one. A lot of people failed Luther. I was one of them. I was a widower with three youngens, and I told myself there was nothing I could do."

"Mr. Garland, um…do you recognize this woman?" Sam asked him, showing him the picture that we had found at the mill.

"It's Jessie O'Brien—her man, Frank, killed Luther." Mr. Garland told us.

"How do you know that?" Sam asked him quickly.

Mr. Garland looked at him. "Everybody knows, they just don't talk about it. Jessie was a receptionist at the mill. She was always real nice to Luther, and he had a crush on her. But Frank didn't like it. And when Jessie went missing, Frank was sure that Luther had done something to her. Turns out the old gal killed herself, but Frank didn't know that."

Mr. Garland continued to explain to us that Frank had dragged Luther outside, and wrapped a chain around his neck before dragging him all over the place behind his car. Frank was convinced that because Luther drew so many pictures of his wife and was 'obsessed' with her, he killed her. Mr. Garland was convinced, however, that his brother would never do anything to hurt anyone and I believed him.

"They found Luther with a chain wrapped around his neck. He was dragged up and down the stretch outside that plant till he was past dead." Mr. Garland explained to us.

I shook my head sadly. "And O'Brien was never arrested?"

"I screamed to every cop in town. They didn't want to look into Frank—he was a pillar of the community. My brother was just the town freak." He told us sadly.

"You must have hated Frank O'Brien." Sam said looking directly at him.

Mr. Garland nodded slowly. "I did for a long time, but…life's too short for hate, son, and Frank wasn't thinking straight. His wife had vanished, he was terrified—a damn shame he had to put Luther through the same, but…that's fear. It spreads and spreads."

I thanked him for his time and he thanked us for listening to his story, Sam and I heading out to the car where Lana was giving Dean a backrub. He seemed a little calmer and we explained what Mr. Garland had told us, Lana looking crestfallen at the tale and believing it like I did. Dean nodded the whole time, taking the story in and trying to figure out what to do next.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"This means that Dean's rash is road rash and I assume he's coughing up wood chips because Luther swallowed some when they dragged him down the road." I told them all, taking a deep breath. "So now Dean's experiencing Luther's death in slow motion."

Dean nodded quickly. "Yeah, well, not slow enough, huh? Say we burn some bones and get me healthy."

"Dean, it won't be that easy." Sam said slowly.

"No, no. It'll be that easy." Dean told him and then he frowned. "Why wouldn't it be that easy?"

"Luther was road-hauled—his body was ripped to pieces. He was probably scattered all over that road so there's no way we're gonna find all the remains." Kate explained slowly, looking around at the darkness that had finally settled.

Dean blinked at her. "You're kidding me."

"Look, we'll just have to figure something else out." Sam told him.

"You know what?" Dean asked us, shaking his head. "Screw this."

We were all surprised that Dean had finally just given up, but what could we do? He'd had this ghost sickness for a long while now and he was beginning to feel helpless about the situation, as were we all. We had more answers, sure, but we really didn't have _enough_ answers to be able to fix this and fix it fast.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dean. Come on." Sam told him.

Dean shook his head. "No, I mean, come on, Sam. What are we doing?"

"We're hunting a ghost." Kate tried as he took steps away from me, Johnny sleeping in his car seat, one of the back doors open like always when she was in his car seat and no one else was in the car.

"A ghost…exactly. Who does that?" Dean asked us.

Sam gave him a look. "Us."

"Us? Right…and _that_, Sam…that is exactly why our lives suck. I mean, come on. We hunt monsters! What the Hell? I mean, normal people, they see a monster, and they run. Normal people have kids, settle down and get normal jobs, but not us. No, no, no. We, we search out things that want to kill us. Yeah? Huh? Or eat us! You know who does that? Crazy people! We…are insane!" Dean told us all shaking his head, having a breakdown most definitely. "You know, and then there's the bad diner food and then the skivvy motel rooms and then the truck-stop waitress with the bizarre rash and all of the powers and the thought in the back of your mind that the love of your life is going to snap and kill everyone. I mean, who wants this life, Sam? Huh? Seriously? Do you actually like being stuck in a car with me eight hours a day, every single day? I don't think so! I mean, I drive too fast, and I listen to the same five albums over and over and over again, and…and…and I sing along. I'm annoying, I know that. I'm a terrible father and you…you're gassy! You eat half a burrito, and you get toxic! Even Kate finds reasons to leave when you're like that! I mean, you know what?" He asked, throwing Sam the keys and starting to walk away. "You can forget it."

I looked at him. "Dean…where are you going? You can't go by yourself, it's not safe."

"Just stay away from me guys, okay? Cause I am done with it. I'm done with the monsters and…and…and the hellhounds and the ghost sickness and the powers and the demons and the damn apocalypse. I'm out. I'm done. Quit." Dean told us, and he walked off, leaving the three of us there on our own.

I sighed loudly and closed my eyes, all of us deciding to go out and find him, tracking him down finally, heading to the hotel. He was sitting on the couch out of breath and in a sweat, telling us about the Yorkshire terrier he'd run into and I handed Johnny over to Kate, going over to Dean who looked terrified. It was the same look that he had had when he had been hallucinating when he was on his way to Hell.

"Baby, are you okay?" I asked him, keeping my distance even though it hurt. "Baby, have you been hallucinating again?"

Dean swallowed and Kate and Sam hurriedly went to call Bobby for some back-up—we needed to have as much help as possible and when Dean buried his face in my chest, I just ran my fingers through his hair. We slept, but mostly I watched over him and Johnny, making sure they were fed and that Johnny was changed and having fun, but they both went down for me and I just held Dean to me, making sure he was all right even though even his dreams seemed plagued with thoughts.

The next morning after I'd slept a little bit, I got Johnny up, fed and changed and then we played for a little while, Kate and Sam meeting up with Bobby. We only had a few more hours left until Dean's time ran out and this had to be taken care of—he couldn't die on me _again_. I wanted my husband around for a very long time and I just wished there was something more that _I_ could do.

xxxx

**Third Person**

"Howdy, Sam…Kate." Bobby greeted them.

Sam smiled at him. "Hey, Bobby. Hey, thanks for coming so quick."

"Where's Dean?" Bobby asked them.

"He's with Lana and Johnny at the hotel. She's been his rock, and honestly I feel safe leaving him with her." Kate said with a shrug.

Back at the hotel Lana frowned a little at Dean still scratching his rash, heading into the bathroom after kissing his head to call Jen. She was a little worried about what was going on with Johnny and put him in his playpen since Dean wasn't really in a state to watch him if he got into anything. While that was going on, Bobby nodded and looked at Kate and Sam, sighing a little.

"So, have his hallucinations started yet?" Bobby asked calmly.

Kate nodded at that. "Yeah…a few hours ago. He had a hallucination about Sam, one about Lana and even one about Johnny…we're all worried about it."

"How we doing on time?" Bobby asked quickly as he nodded.

"Kate and Dean saw the coroner about 8:00 a.m. Monday morning, so, uh…just under two hours. What about you? You find anything?" Sam asked him hurriedly.

"This, uh, encyclopedia of spirits dates to the Edo period." Bobby explained, giving the book to Sam.

"You can read Japanese?" Kate chuckled a little and then she winked at Bobby as he spoke to them in Japanese. "Guess so, show-off. I see why Lana jokes sometimes about you being the sexy one."

Bobby chuckled and rolled his eyes, Sam rolling his too and then it was back to business. As much as they wanted to keep catching up, they were running low on time and Lana wasn't really getting that far with Jen and Kevin either. Kevin had taken the day off of work to help Jen to find an answer and Lana felt so blessed to have such wonderful friends.

"Anyway, this book lists a kind of ghost that could be our guy. It, uh, infects people with fear. It's called a buruburu." Bobby explained to Sam and Kate.

Kate nodded at that. "It says how to kill it?"

"Sam as usual: burn the remains." Bobby said making a face.

"Wonderful. Uh…is there a plan B?" Sam asked him.

"Well, the buruburu is born of fear—Hell, it is fear—and the lore says we can kill it with fear." Bobby told them nodding.

Kate nodded slowly, taking it all in. "So we have to scare a ghost to death?"

"Pretty much." Bobby said nodding.

"Then we really have like one plan…use some iron chains and recreate the death." Kate told the men sadly. "Damn, I hate to do that to him, but he has to be stopped."

Sam and Bobby agreed even though the plan was pretty far-fetched and called Dean to tell him to ride it out. Dean was already hallucinating some more, hearing hellhounds, Lana coming out of the bathroom just when the Sheriff showed up and Johnny put up his force field. He had the same rash and he had a gun, Lana not willing to let Dean die because some crazy, guilty sheriff shot her husband.

"Sheriff? What are you doing?" Dean asked him rather scared.

The Sheriff pointed the gun at him, Lana's hand poised and ready to stop him. "Why are you looking into Luther Garland's death?"

"Okay, look, just calm down and we can talk about this, okay? We didn't mean any kind of harm and we're not here to bust you." Lana explained calmly.

"Frank O'Brien was my friend. So he made a mistake. So I didn't bust him. So what? And you're gonna bring me down over that? No, sir." The sheriff explained pointing the gun at Dean and cocking it.

Dean started to hallucinate some more and Lana stopped the sheriff, the sheriff freaking out about her. She had powers and she was stronger than anything he'd ever seen and suddenly he could hear it—a voice saying, 'they know what you did'. Lana hurried to him when it looked like he was having a heart attack and he yelled at her to step back before he died, Johnny frowning and Lana closing her eyes, looking at Dean who sat on one of the beds.

Meanwhile, Sam was looking for Luther with Kate and they weren't having any luck, so Sam started tearing pictures of Jessie up. Kate was surprised when Luther showed up and grabbed Sam by the neck, Kate going for him with the chains and wrapping them around his neck. Luther hadn't really wanted to harm him, but at the same time this was the angry, spurned ghost of Luther and Kate wasn't going to let him hurt Sam or be the reason that Dean dropped dead from a heart attack.

"You're going back: it's about damn time too." Dean heard Sam's voice say and he picked up a Bible, hugging it to him, his eyes closed, Lana heading into the bathroom again to try Jen.

There wasn't much more that she could do, but she was running out of time—she needed to fix this now. Dean heard more barking and the tic-tock of his watch as he sat there, Johnny watching him intently and then suddenly he heard another voice…a voice he had hoped that he would never hear again.

"Hi, Dean." The girl said, and Dean looked at her, seeing Lilith in the little blonde girl's body from before he went to Hell.

Dean shook his head vigorously. "Oh, no…no."

"Yes, it's me. Lilith. Oh, I missed you so much!" She exclaimed, squeezing him tightly. "It's time to go back now."

"You…you are not real!" He told her rising from his spot, Johnny's lip quivering.

Lilith looked up at him. "What's the matter, Dean? Don't you remember all the fun you had down there? You do remember. 4 months is like 40 years in Hell—like doggy years. And you remember every second."

Dean felt his chest start to hurt as Johnny started to cry softly, Lana hearing and getting off of the phone with Jen as Lilith told Dean that he was still going to burn. Hallucination or not, Johnny knew that something was wrong and put a force field up around his father, Lana feeling helpless as Dean started to have a heart attack. Why was it always his heart? Why?

"Why me? Why'd I get infected?" Dean asked Lilith.

She smiled at him. "Silly goose—you know why, Dean. Listen to your heart."

"What?" Dean asked her, and suddenly he felt the pain again only it was worse, Johnny trying to make the force field stronger to save his father.

At the same time Bobby started the truck and started to drag Luther's spirit down the road, Dean's heart beating faster and hurting more. Soon, however, Frank's spirit dissipated and suddenly the rash was gone—and Johnny let the force field down, Lana hurrying to Dean. Johnny was safe for them and Dean laid on the floor catching his breath, letting his wife wrap her arms around him and kiss his shirted chest.

"I hate feeling like I can't help you." Lana whispered, pressing her lips to his and smiling a little when he kissed her back. "We owe Bobby."

Dean nodded. "Yes we do."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I got Dean up and he got himself showered and dressed, him, Johnny and I heading out to go and meet up with Kate, Sam and Bobby. They explained to us how they had made Luther stop and I kissed Johnny's head as I held him, the boys and Kate drinking some beers—except for Bobby. We were all looking over what had happened and I smiled a little as Dean rested his free hand on my hip.

"So you guys rode off a ghost with a chain?" Dean asked them.

Sam nodded at him. "Iron chain etched with a spell word."

"Hmm. Now, that's a new one." Dean exclaimed before drinking a swig of beer. "Kate must have come up with that one."

"Well Bobby found out we might be able to scare him and so I figured that was what he was most scared of—being dragged behind a car. It was brutal though…and I really wish we hadn't had to do it." Kate admitted sadly.

Dean nodded slowly. "Well, on the upside, I'm still alive, so, uh, go, team."

"Yeah…how you feeling, by the way?" Sam asked Dean.

"Fine." Dean replied shrugging.

We all looked at him as he took a sip of beer, Kate running her fingers through Sam's hair. The four of us felt really close and Dean wasn't dead so everything looked okay…at least for now. There was still the issue of my powers and of my plan to side with Lilith and find out her weakness without putting the rest of my family in danger but it wasn't time for that.

"You sure, Dean?" Bobby asked him. "'Cause this line of work can get awful scary—especially when you're protecting a family too."

"I'm fine." Dean replied shaking his head and trying to sound tough. "You want to go hunting? I'll hunt. I'll kill anything."

Sam, Kate, Bobby and I all smiled. "Aww."

"He's adorable." Bobby said aloud, Dean chugging some beer and rolling his eyes. "Well, I got to get out of here. You guys drive safe and Johnny? Keep protecting your parents."

"Grampa." Johnny said happily.

I smile as Bobby did. "You drive safe too, Bobby."

Bobby smiled and got into his car to drive away, all of us turning to Dean. We all wanted to know what he had hallucinated at the end, but he didn't want to tell us—it definitely wasn't Howler monkeys like he was pretending it was. It was something big and I knew that no matter what happened, I couldn't tell anyone about my plan to ice Lilith…it put them all in too much danger.

**Note: Sorry it took so long for this chapter! The next chapter will be coming up soon, I just gotta get my outline set up. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	76. Forgetting is Just the Final Step

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**So this chapter is fun and I'm a big fan of it so I hope you guys like it too—it's kind of short but it's comedic and fluffy along with some angst.**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

I stroked Dean's hair as he stroked mine, peering at me fondly. I was lying on my back, snuggled under the covers, Dean on his stomach next to me, an arm draped over me as he leaned against me with his chest. He was propped up on his elbows stroking my skin lovingly, and I felt content. The two of us were rather glad to feel so put back together after everything that we had been through lately and I finally felt like we were where we were supposed to be.

"You have beautiful eyes." I whispered to him, a smile on my face. "How are you this morning?"

Dean rolled his eyes and kissed my lips softly. "Oh so now you're suddenly all mushy with me, eh? No playful/witty remarks or playful arguing?"

"No, not at all—you took me for a nice dinner last night, you held me, you told me how much I meant to you…it makes me want to show you how much _you_ mean to _me_." I whispered as I ran my fingers through his hair. "Besides, it's our bed and we haven't had _real_ sex to show that we were made up yet—what we did up against the side of the hotel and what I did to you the last two showers, totally doesn't count."

"You're right about that." Dean responded with a chuckle. "What do you say we remedy that since it's early and Johnny is still sleeping?"

"I'd say, 'yes, please'." I replied smiling as Dean kissed me softly.

Dean slipped his fingers into my hair and bit my bottom lip, chuckling as I moved to get my shirt off, pulling it over my head and tossing it onto the floor. I smiled and rested my head against the pillows, closing my eyes as Dean started to slip off my pajama pants and I really just wanted this. I was tired of Dean and I both feeling so bad and it was about time that we just had this time for us.

"If I bantered?" Dean asked me, running his teeth along my collar bone.

I smiled and bit my lip. "I wouldn't say 'no'."

"This is my favorite bra." Dean whispered, his lips brushing against my sternum as he slipped his fingers past the waistband of my underwear.

"I know." I replied with a soft laugh, spreading my legs a little more. "What are you going to do about it?"

"Probably unhook it." Dean told me with a wink.

I smiled at him as I laughed a little, helping Dean out of his clothes, both of us soon naked and pressed together, kissing. As I ran my fingers down his chest, Dean grunted a little and then nodded into the kiss when I wrapped my hand around him between his legs and started to work him in every way that he liked. He rocked himself against my hand and then when he felt like he might embarrass himself, he bit my neck and it surprised me, making me stop long enough for Dean to take over instead.

We'd been together for so long now that he knew every pressure point that would make me twist towards him and allow him more access and he was counting on that. We were both feeling aroused and happy and soon Dean gripped my hip and I knew what was about to happen. What I hadn't been counting on was Dean pushing in only a little and then pulling out, doing it again and again until there was no more space between us.

He wanted me to know that he loved me so much and that he was sorry that he had even _thought_ about being with another woman and I believed him. Dean whispered that he loved me and he pulled my hair a little, nodding into the crook of my neck as I gripped his shoulders and whispered that I loved him back. We hit our release at the same time and then we pressed our lips together as we rode out the blast of endorphins, Dean pulling out and still keeping me close.

"You're my one and only." I told him with a soft laugh as I ran my fingers through his hair. "I love you so much."

Dean smiled at me and chuckled. "I love you too."

"You're glad you married me?" I asked him as I caught my breath.

"Always." He responded and he kissed me again, chuckling and starting the banter again, both of us knowing it would all just happen again.

xxxx

Dean kissed me softly as we stood in the shower, the water running down our bodies, and I returned the kiss. We stood there, arms wrapped around each other while we kissed. We were supposed to be showering while Kate and Sam packed so we could move on to the next place so we got closer to finding Lilith, but so far Dean and I hadn't gotten off of each other long enough to _actually_ shower.

"We need to go check on Johnny." I whispered softly, laughing a little when he nodded, but kissed me anyway. "This wasn't even a real shower."

Dean grinned. "Yeah, but it was more fun than a real shower."

"I agree with this." I told him with a smile, and then I kissed him swiftly and pulled back. "We really _do_ need to check on Johnny."

Dean nodded in agreement and after one more kiss, we were both getting out and getting dressed. When we made it into the nursery I went straight for the crib and Dean leaned on the doorframe, watching me as I smiled at Johnny. He was lying on his back and he beamed up at me, grasping my hand when I went to tickle his stomach a little bit. Johnny laughed and it made Dean and I both smile—we really loved our son, and it suddenly made me realize that the two of us were going to be able to get through this if we could stop Lilith.

"So…now that I'm back from Hell where do we stand on Johnny getting siblings?" Dean asked me suddenly.

I rolled my eyes. "Johnny's the only one you're gonna get."

"I love you." Dean told me, walking over to me slowly.

"Only one you're gonna get." I replied with a smile.

Dean wrapped his arms around my waist. "But I was hoping for maybe a little girl too."

I paused at that and actually found myself considering that—I mean how adorable would Dean look with a daughter? On top of that, I really wouldn't mind having a girl and that would mean that Dean and I were really gving this a shot…it meant we were really trying to settle down with a family. But that was just it—we _couldn't _settle down because of Lilith and all the demons after Johnny and it just…it wouldn't be responsible to have more children right now.

"Only one you're gonna get." I responded as I leaned back into him, Johnny smiling up at us as we looked at him.

Dean beamed though. "You hesitated!"

"Hey!" I exclaimed, and pointed to Johnny. "Only one!"

"I will get you to cave!" Dean responded, and I jumped a little as Dean's hand started to try to slip into the front of my jeans and I stopped him, Johnny laughing at us even though he didn't know _exactly_ what was happening by his crib. "See? He's on my side!"

I rolled my eyes and laughed, seriously thinking it over and then deciding that I needed to change the subject. Luckily Kate came in and she told us about a little hunt in the area and asked if she could do it with me. On the one hand she didn't want to drag me away from Johnny into potential danger, but on the other hand Jen seemed to think that it was a hunt I should take care of. Since Jen telling me to do something meant a lot to me, I just nodded and went with Kate.

We ended up in an abandoned warehouse—the same one we'd found the vampires in the first hunt I ever did with Sam and Dean—and I felt a dark presence. It was dangerous and I felt claustrophobic and doomed and soon Kate was screaming and we heard chanting. We heard this language we'd only heard twice before and soon Kate was pinned against a wall and woman with black eyes showed up with this scary grin on her face.

"What do you want?" I asked her slowly backing up against a wall.

She smiled at me. "You're too close to your potential."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" I asked, feeling a little more terrified than before and then suddenly feeling like I was suffocating as she held up her hand. "What are you doing? I can't…I can't breathe."

"It's all right, Lana…soon you'll forget." She told me, and then suddenly everything was pitch black.

xxxx

**Third Person**

Lana opened up her eyes and blinked, taking in a deep breath and taking in her surroundings. She had no idea where she was or who she was with, but she knew that there were three people staring at her and she backed up a little up against the wall, trying to take even breaths. All that she knew right then was that she wasn't anywhere familiar…but what was really familiar? In fact more importantly than who were they…who was _she_?

The demon had effectively erased her memory of everything in her life that had to do with who she was. She didn't remember her name, who she was, what she was, she didn't know anything about her family, and she didn't know anything about the Winchesters or any of the demons or witches she had come into contact in her life. Lana could tell them who the president was, or answer math questions…she was just missing the specifics that had to do with her powers—that had to do with the supernatural world.

"It's all right, Baby." Dean told her softly, taking a step towards her and then frowning when she tried to press herself harder up against the wall.

She shook her head. "Excuse me?"

"Lanni…it's just me." Dean said and then his eyes widened a little. "What do you remember?"

"Lanni? Is that my name?" Lana asked him as she swallowed. "I don't remember anything that is helpful…I don't know who you guys are…I don't know who _I_ am."

"Shit!" Dean cursed, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "Sam, start looking up this demon. Kate? Call Florence—we're going to need her."

Sam and Kate nodded and hurried to the other parts of the house, Dean sitting on his and Lana's bed as Lana stayed near the wall. It was obvious that these people knew her and she didn't sense that they were going to harm her, but she also didn't feel like she knew them. She couldn't remember anything and it was frustrating and Dean looked so upset and she didn't know what it was that she could do to make it better.

"You could probably use some water?" Dean asked her finally as they stayed in their positions in silence.

Lana nodded slowly. "Yeah…sure."

"Follow me then." Dean replied and got up from the bed, avoiding eye contact with her. "Is there any place you want me to start?"

"You mean with information?" Lana asked and nodded as he did. "Wherever you think is easiest."

"Oh…well in that case, I'm your husband." Dean told her without skipping a beat.

Lana's eyes widened and she stopped on one of the stairs, Dean turning to her when he reached the bottom and nodded. She immediately looked at her wedding band and when she looked back up Dean was showing her his and suddenly she was smiling. Somehow even though she didn't remember it, Lana had found a rather attractive man and she had _married_ him…why couldn't she _remember_ that? That was something she would have liked to know!

"I guess you're not bad to look at." Lana said with a soft shrug, trying not to grin too much.

Dean chuckled and shook his head. "Naked, either."

"Well _that's_ something I would have liked to remember." Lana told him honestly, continuing down the stairs. "After learning some of the more important basics, I want some details—how we met, how you proposed, what the wedding was like."

"I'm looking forward to it." Dean admitted with a nod. "Um…the other most important part is that you have powers."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…like Harry Potter or something?" Lana asked him softly.

Dean laughed a little. "Or something."

Lana nodded as Dean began to explain about her biological mother and father and got her a glass of water. At first Lana really didn't believe a word that came out of Dean's mouth about demons and witches and powers, but she didn't have a reason _not_ to trust him. Then he pulled out John's journal and a few of Lana's diaries, letting her look over the journal first and then Sam and Kate re-entered the room, done with their phone calls.

Sam opened up his laptop as Kate sat at the island counter, explaining that Florence was two days away, but that she'd be there. Lana just nodded and kept reading John's journal, determined to read her own diary last because she felt like John's journal was more full of crazy than her own would be. Then she heard it—the baby monitor on the counter went off and the sound of a child floated through and Lana looked incredibly surprised.

"What is that? It sounds like a baby." Lana said, looking at everyone as they all looked at her.

Dean nodded slowly. "It is—that's Johnny."

"And Johnny belongs to who?" Lana asked him firmly.

"_You_, Lan—he's yours and Dean's son." Sam explained to her, knowing she couldn't remember but feeling like the sound of his voice should bring something back for her.

Lana's eyes widened. "I'm a mother? I can't be…I'd have remembered that."

Lana swallowed and looked around at the three of them, shaking her head again and then just looking rather stunned. She was married, she was half demon, she had powers, and she was a _mother_. Suddenly it occurred to her that though stranger things had happened to the four of them, she couldn't remember and it must hurt them all so much. How old was Johnny? Would he be sad to know his mother couldn't remember him? What was happening?

"Can you get him please?" Lana asked softly as he started to coo through the monitor.

Dean nodded and went upstairs, Lana chewing on her lip and then flipping through the journal some more. She just wanted to understand what was happening to her and she wanted to be able to remember all of these people around her. Was that so hard to ask? What was she supposed to be doing? Who was this Lilith? Could her powers take Lilith out? What was she doing raising a kid in this dangerous world?

"We might need to call in Castiel." Sam offered slowly as he watched Lana switch to her journal.

Lana looked up at him. "For some reason _that_ name actually rings a bell."

"What?" Kate asked her, her and Sam exchanging looks. "You remember Cas, but you don't remember any of us?"

"Cas protects me…I don't recall any specific memories, but I know that for sure." Lana explained with a shrug. "He's an angel."

"Yeah, he is." Sam admitted with a nod. "How'd you know that?"

"Says here that he's an angel…he brought Dean out of Hell." Lana explained, showing Sam a page. "I'm sorry, you guys, okay? I'm sorry I don't remember, I'm sorry you have to deal with me, and I'm just…how do you do it? Every day something bad is happening out there and you _know_ about it. I mean…how do we even do this? I have a son—shouldn't I quit this? Shouldn't I be protecting him?"

Kate smiled sadly. "There's a lot about even Johnny that we don't know. He always knows when something bad is happening, he also has powers, and it's best to get the jump on demons before they get the jump on us."

"But actually _looking_ for trouble? Why?" Lana asked her again.

Kate tried to come up with an answer, opening her mouth as Sam did, but they both stopped when Dean came down with Johnny and he said, 'Mommy'. Lana smiled at the adorable little boy in Dean's arms and she held out her hands for him, smiling more as he snuggled into it. He knew that his mother wasn't all there, but he also knew that everything was going to be all right and he just wanted to be near her.

Johnny had learned to rely on his mother and he needed to know that even though she was tense, she was there in the flesh. He'd been upset that his father was gone and away from him and his mother was sad, but he couldn't imagine what it would be like without his mother. He wanted her to be all right and he wanted to play with her, but right then it felt good just to have his mother stroke his hair and hold him close to her.

"He's beautiful—looks more like me." Lana told Dean, kissing Johnny's head. "You sure he's yours?"

Dean gave her a look. "I'm positive."

"I believe you." Lana responded and then she kissed Johnny's head again. "Wow…I have a lot to catch up on. Sam? What have you found out about this demon?"

xxxx

Lana had been trying to piece together all of the information that she had been receiving the last few hours and it was making her a little overwhelmed. She walked out of the house and sat in a lawn chair in the back yard and put her head in her hands, wishing she could remember specifics. Dean came out after her and sat in the chair next to her, taking a deep breath and deciding to lighten the mood a little bit because he missed his wife.

"You can't just ask that of me right now." Lana told him even though she was smiling a little, Sam and Kate on the other side of the open patio door, Johnny eating in his high chair as Kate and Sam watched him.

Dean looked at her and shrugged. "Why not?"

"You know, for all I know you and I fight all the time and it's breaking the four of us apart, so you guys aren't telling me. It's not fair to me to ask me for a second kid just cause I can't remember saying 'no'." Lana replied with a small laugh.

"Why do you think you said 'no'?" Dean asked her cautiously, knowing that she really had, but wanting to understand since this Lana had no actually memory of anything bad happening to them—they could be a family couldn't they?

"Because after everything you've told me, I don't want to have another kid and I don't even have specific memories of anything." Lana replied, her tone getting a little more serious.

Dean nodded slowly. "Even without your memories, you're very you."

"I'm taking that as a compliment." Lana said and then she decided that the conversation was much too serious and she tried to lighten Dean's already sad mood. "Even with no trying for another kid…can I still see you naked once?"

Dean chuckled when she winked after she said it and nodded, knowing that she was just trying to make him feel better. He wasn't going to feel better until she got all of her memories back—he had so many things to talk to her about that he really couldn't actually bring up with her. Besides, she was still digesting information and she really needed some time alone…Dean just didn't feel like he could protect her if she was alone.

"When my mother shows up…do you think that she can fix this?" Lana asked him slowly. "I want to remember, Dean. I want to be able to remember Johnny's first words, and when he was born, and I want to remember our relationship. I want to remember more than…Cas."

Dean turned as Lana's eyes focused and he saw Castiel standing there in the yard, looking as stoic as always. Lana nodded slowly and swallowed, knowing that she had to pick the best question to ask and not just verbally vomit all over Castiel as he stood there. He knew that he was needed and he had things to explain to her, so he simply began to talk as Dean opened his mouth to ask him questions.

"We had a feeling that Lilith would send a witch to do this." Castiel told her firmly. "We put a fail safe in you so you wouldn't forget _everything_…so you wouldn't forget me. Your mother is on her way and she can fix this…however, you're going to be fully into your powers. Are you ready for that?"

Lana swallowed again. "You make me sound like a robot."

"That was not what I intended." Castiel assured her.

"That was a joke." Dean informed him, smiling a little and then taking a deep breath. "Lana talks about getting in touch with her powers all the time—this is what she wants."

Lana looked at her hands. "That's what I'm told. In several entries in my journals I mention that I want to be whole. I want to be who I was born to be and I want to raise Johnny with Dean—it's all I want. I'm scared though…I don't know what this means. I don't what _any_ of this means. I mean _why_ am I so important?"

"Lilith needs you." Castiel responded without skipping a beat.

"For _what_ exactly?" Lana asked him, feeling like he knew more than he was letting on.

"All I was told was that she needs you and we have to stop that from happening. Ergo, you need to be as powerful as you were meant to be." Castiel explained with a small nod. "Florence raised you to be good and she hid things from you for a reason. You brought her back because you know you needed her and though now you've sold your soul, you did the right thing."

Dean raised his eyebrows at Castiel. "The '_right_' thing?"

Castiel glanced at Dean as Lana did, both of them understanding the pain that was in his voice as he talked to them. Dean still hadn't been able to accept that in ten years he was going to lose Lana forever and now she had to come into her powers to stop Lilith? Once she finally knew how to use all of her powers, what did that mean? Did that mean she could go straight after Lilith? Did she need to train any?

"I don't understand why _I'm_ the link…why?" Lana asked Castiel. "Why did Azazel want me? Why did he want Annie? How does Annie fit into this?"

Castiel shook his head. "I don't have all of those answers—your mother does."

"I just want to understand, you know? I want to understand why this happened and what I have to do to make this all better." Lana said with a shrug. "I mean what if I don't survive this? What if I leave Johnny alone? I don't feel like this is all right—I don't feel like I should have brought a child into this world if I'm just going to leave him. What kind of mother _am_ I? I mean Johnny's already been on hunts."

"You're doing what you're destined to do." Castiel protested, looking at Dean as he scoffed.

"Destiny—I don't believe in this destiny crap." Dean told them both firmly. "You're not going to die, Lanni, because I would _never_ let that happen. We're going to kill Lilith, save the world, and then we're going to quit this. Lucifer isn't going to rise, and there isn't going to be an Apocalypse. This is going to end."

Lana smiled a little. "I hope you're right."

xxxx

By the time that Florence got there, Lana was sleeping in and Johnny had been in a funk for the last 36 hours. He wanted his mother back and she wanted to be back in control of her own life, and he was sleeping as well. Kate and Sam were at the kitchen table when Florence came in and they could feel the tension in the room as Dean glanced up at her. Part of him understood that she had been trying to protect her daughter by keeping things from her and limiting her powers with magic, but the other part of him felt like it wasn't worth Lana's sacrifice to bring her back into the picture.

"Sam and I are going to go have some sex." Kate said with a shrug. "Good to see you, Aunt Flor."

Florence laughed a little as Sam blushed. "Have fun—not _too_ much, but more than just a little bit."

"I'll try—we'll probably ending up having _too much_ fun though." Kate replied with a wink.

"Good too see you." Sam told Florence, heading out of the room hurriedly after Kate.

Florence looked at Dean and took a deep breath, knowing that no matter what he said, she couldn't take the hurt away. She felt incredibly guilty knowing that Lana had sacrificed so much for her, and she knew that she needed to ell her daughter things but she wanted the stakes to be lower. She wanted to be able to take it all back and go about things differently but she couldn't turn back time…the only way she could fix this was to give Lana back her memories and to work tirelessly to get Lana out of her deal.

"Is Lana upstairs?" Florence asked Dean calmly.

Dean nodded and then shook his head. "I'm not going to pretend that things are all good between us, Florence. I know that it's not your fault that you're back, but you're the reason my wife is going to die in ten years. If you hadn't have shielded her from all of this, she wouldn't have had to bring you back. We have a son, and someday I want us to have more than that and I just…there's so much to do."

"Then the first step is finding Lilith." Florence said nodding. "You know, for the record, I'm sorry that Lana did this. The last thing I want is for my grandson to grow up without his mother. You had to, Lana had to grow up without her biological mother, and I don't want that for Johnny. I'm working to get her out of this, so I don't want you to focus on that—focus on Lilith and stopping Lucifer before you really have to. We have ten years and when you're done with Lilith, if I haven't found anything, you can help me—we're not letting Lana go to the pit."

"All right." Dean told her calmly. "Lana's upstairs."

Florence nodded and smiled at him sadly, heading upstairs and leaving him in the kitchen. She knocked on the bedroom door and Lana let her in, smiling at her and then having to just listen and nod as Florence explained who she was and then she felt like she wanted to cry and she didn't know why. It was like it was all just _too much_ to handle and Lana really wanted to just be held and forget…maybe just go back to normal.

"When I restore you, you're going to remember this—and you're going to know how to use your powers fully…are you ready for that?" Florence asked her daughter softly, holding her close and stroking her hair.

Lana nodded slowly. "Yeah…yeah, I think that I can do that. Everything?"

"Everything that has happened these last few days is going to stay with you." Florence said again with a nod. "I just need to do this spell and then we'll talk more—it'll be easier to comprehend when you remember."

"All right." Lana said with a nod. "Let's get started."

Florence nodded too and she got some things out of her bag, lighting some candles and making a symbol on the carpet. She and Lana sat inside of it cross legged, holding hands, Florence closing her eyes and chanting in an ancient language that wasn't Latin. Lana closed her eyes and just listened to her mother speaking, feeling suddenly like her head hurt really bad.

It was almost as if her brain was being _forced_ to absorb so much at once and soon the pain was beginning to be unbearable. Her whole head was throbbing and she couldn't hold back the scream anymore, Florence continuing to chant and holding her daughter's hands a little tighter. Suddenly Lana felt like this was all incredibly familiar and she blacked out, Florence stopping the chanting as the candles went out and Dean burst into the room…it was done…she was now who she was meant to be.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I woke up groaning a little, my head hurting but the pain was a _lot_ duller than before and it was going away. I smiled a little when I opened my eyes and Dean was sitting on the side of the bed holding my hands, Johnny playing on the other side with his blocks and his G.I. Joe action figure. Johnny smiled at me too and Dean leaned down to kiss my lips, smiling a little as I returned it—he was my husband.

Honestly, remembering the three days that I couldn't remember anything, I felt like I had put everyone through so much all over again, but at the same time I felt like it _had_ to happen. Now I was stronger—now I could take on Lilith. Besides, the me that couldn't remember still thought about things the way that I did so it had proved to me that there was nothing wrong with me. My family loved me, I loved them, and until things were safer, Dean and I couldn't have anymore kids…we just couldn't, no matter _how much_ I wanted to…no matter how much _Dean_ wanted to.

"How do you feel?" Dean asked me, stroking my hair.

I sat up slowly and shrugged. "I feel stronger…I feel better…I feel sad."

"Johnny's happier than he has been." Dean told me, trying not to have to talk about this right now.

"Well his mother is back." I explained to him softly. "He really is the best decision we ever made."

"Even though you're against just raising a family?" Dean asked me.

"Hand Johnny over to Kate and Sam and come back." I told him with a soft sigh.

Dean nodded and after I kissed Johnny and smiled at him, Dean took him to his aunt and uncle and I ran my fingers through my hair. I couldn't tell anyone about my plans to take out Lilith, but that wasn't what this was about—this about Dean feeling like he needed to have something_ normal_ in his life and I couldn't give it to him. I felt like we were both incredibly too far in over our heads and that bringing another child into the world was just hurting our children.

What if we couldn't defeat Lilith and Lucifer rose? What if this was all too much for us to handle? What if we couldn't take out Lucifer? What if the whole world was doomed? Were we really supposed to bring another kid into the world just for them to die? How was that fair? It wasn't…it wasn't fair and I was scared and I needed Dean to understand that.

"So what is it?" Dean asked me as he came into the room and shut the door.

I looked at him and shrugged a little. "We just can't do this, okay? We can't have another kid. What if Lucifer rises?"

"We're going to stop that." Dean protested shaking his head.

"Like we were going to get you out of your deal?" I asked him, knowing it was a low blow, but feeling like I had to say it. "Dean, what if we don't? I can't have that over my head."

"What about trying to be happy? What about hunting down Lilith, taking her out and then just settling down?" Dean asked me honestly. "Lanni, I'm tired—I'm not lying when I say that. I'm tired of the traveling and the hunting and I just…I just want to enjoy you and Johnny and finally have the life you deserve."

I smiled at him and got up, crossing to him and taking his hands in mine. "Baby, you deserve that future too, but right now that's just not in the cards for us. We need to focus on the hunt and on doing what the angels need us to do. We need to focus on me being this new, powerful person and…and we need to get past my deal."

"That's another thing—why, Lana? You sold us short on time." Dean said shaking his head. "I can't watch you die again…I can't."

"I know." I told him, choking up. "I'm still _so_ sorry that I did that to you. There's so many more things to say, but…I think this is what we needed to say now. We need to focus on hunting Lilith down—there will be more time to talk later."

Dean nodded and kissed me softly. "I'm glad you remember."

"Me too." I admitted and then I smirked a little to lighten the mood. "I also remember that you promised to let me see you naked."

**Note: Well Lana's finally into her full powers and only time can tell what she's going to do now. I'm sorry the chapter was short—the next chapter will be a lot longer and it's pretty fluffy with some angst and I hope you guys are looking forward to it. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	77. Orders Are Orders

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter is long and it's emotionally charged, and it switches POVs.**

**You're in for some angst you guys, and I **_**really**_** hope you like it.**

**I also made this hunt happen in Lawrence because it fits in with **_**my**_** plans better, so enjoy what I've added!**

**Also, Lana has a Twitter now (I was bored and sometimes I'm a little not in the right mind when she tweets, but oh well I love her and all the characters in this world that have Twitters too) and though there are some spoilers since it all takes place in between S5 and S6 and you should follow at your own risk I just sometimes get irrevocably bored and it's an outlet…LanaRWinchester…**

**WARNINGS: ****Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

All I could think about was what I had been talking to my mother about when we got closer to Halloween. There were so may things that I wanted to do and so many things that I had to keep a secret, Dean in his own little funk even though now he had candy. I thought that as we got closer to Halloween everyone would be happier, but we weren't…we were all in a funk, just going through the motions _pretending_ to be happy.

"_Mom, I'm not sure that I quite understand." I told her slowly, running my fingers through my hair. "I mean I'm what exactly?"_

_Mom took a deep breath. "You're the product of Azazel possessing me and in turn impregnating me and making me carry you to term."_

"_So…you never wanted me?" I asked her. "I mean on some level I just assumed since you gave me to Bethany and Marcus."_

"_Sweetheart, of __**course**__ I wanted you…I just knew you were safer __**away **__from me. I gave birth to an 'anti-christ'. You're half demon and half human, but you are __**far**__ more powerful than the angels __**or**__ the demons, you just need to control your power. I was afraid for you, so I hid your powers since lets face it—Meckenzie blood and witchcraft is some powerful stuff." She explained to me. "Marcus and Bethany were willing to take you because I shielded you from all of that."_

_I nodded slowly. "And Annie?"_

"_The truth about Annie is that she's not really half demon at all, but Azazel __**did**__ turn her into a psychic and he __**did**__ give her a __**lot**__ more blood than the others when she was a baby. Annie is the product of an actual man that I was quite fond of that Azazel killed, and I gave you to Bethany and Marcus because everyone knew who I was—everyone wanted to find me." She continued as I let it all sink in. "Sweetheart, you're special and you need to know that, and now that you've come into your powers, you need to hone your skills and make use of them. Marcus and Bethany taught you wrong from right after I gave them to you, and you'll make the right choices. You're a good person, and you had the opportunity to live and now you have the opportunity to build an actual life if you want it…raise a family."_

"_When everyone is trying to make or stop __**Lucifer**__ from rising?" I asked her skeptically. "Yeah…yeah this is the __**perfect**__ time to tell my husband about how devastated I was to find out I __**wasn't**__ pregnant when he was dead! This is the __**perfect**__ time to tell him how badly I want another baby! Mom…there are things I have to do that I might not make it back from. I have ten years to live, but with this Lilith and Lucifer fiasco, I could die before that."_

_Mom took a deep breath and hugged me. "Just remember that this isn't the time to run, Sweetheart…this is the time to stand up for what you believe in—for what you want."_

I got up as I tried to collect my thoughts and walked out back, smiling a little when I saw Dean standing out back too. The house was near a small brook, and I leaned on the fence, looking at the wet rocks as Dean sipped a beer and took a deep breath. He was scared of me and I knew that—he was scared of what had happened when he and I had talked more the day after I had gotten all of my memories back.

_Sometimes there were demons that I just couldn't fight the __**normal**__ way, and this was one of those demons. He was pretty high up there on the food chain and just like that, I had my hand out and there he was, white light practically trying to explode out of his whole body. He was dying right in front of me and I felt my eyes change a little, the body collapsing on the floor, the demon dead, the man he was inhabiting still alive._

_When I looked up, Dean was standing there and I closed my eyes, shaking away the pain on his face and then opening them to see him leaving. I ran after him and saw him sit on the hood of the car, not looking at me, sadness in his eyes. He let me run my fingers through his hair, and we were silent for a little while, Dean letting me try to comfort him as best as I could even though we both knew this was going to be the __**hardest**__ thing in our marriage to get past._

"_When I saw your eyes, it scared me…it reminded me that everything has changed." Dean explained slowly._

_I nodded, biting my lip. "I know I just don't know how to fix it."_

"_Neither do I…but I still love you." He told me, looking at me and kissing me softly, his eyes closed. "I'm always going to love you."_

"_I know…that's what makes this so hard." I responded, resting my forehead on his, both of our eyes closed, and we sat there for a little while thinking._

Dean knew that something was wrong with me and he knew we needed to talk, but he didn't know what to say. There was just so much going on with me and so much that I wanted that I couldn't have, and sometimes I wondered why I didn't just give up. Why had I come into their lives? Why did it seem like every time I did something right I ended up doing something wrong? Why hadn't Castiel given me a sign yet? I'd been waiting for Castiel to tell me that it was time for me to go and infiltrate Lilith…I was waiting for him to tell me that it was still the best option that we had.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Dean asked me.

I looked at Dean and shrugged a little. "I just…I need them to have an actual wedding. I want them to get married and to be happy and leave this life behind. I just…I just want them to get a chance at a normal life."

Silence fell between us and I knew that everything had been pushed to the back burner to discuss Kate and Sam. The two of them were our family and our priority and I loved them way too much for them to end up like Dean and I were ending up. They had so much potential to be happy and I wanted them to get to have that chance—I didn't want them to end up having kids and then having to deal with what I was going through.

Johnny was the first of his kind—he was the product of an 'anti-christ' and a human being and he had powers. Demons wanted him, angels were wary of him, and if I made one wrong step, that would be the end of him. They were things I wanted to tell Dean and things I knew he deserved to know, but I didn't know how to bring them up in conversation…especially not after finding out Dean was scared of _me_. I couldn't let him be scared of his son too…scared _for_ his son.

"Like we didn't get to?" Dean asked me.

I looked at him. "That wasn't exactly what I meant, Dean…but I guess, yeah. I want them to be able to get out of this life."

"Me too." Dean admitted, sipping some more beer.

"Baby? Can we talk about Johnny for a second?" I asked him finally.

I took a deep breath as Dean slowly lowered the bottle from his lips and looked at me, nodding. There was already fear in his eyes and I knew he thought that I was about to say something bad and I knew I had to just warn him. He didn't have to know all of the specifics until I found the right words to say, but just in case I could leave at any minute, I had to make him understand that Johnny was our priority—not that he wasn't already since he was our son.

"I'm worried about Johnny and the demons that seem to want to hurt him…promise me that no matter what, we'll protect him—even if one of us can't be there." I told him, looking him in the eye.

Dean set his beer down and reached for me, cupping my face and pulling me close to him, kissing my forehead. In all the years that we'd known each other now, he knew when to be lovey-dovey and when to be serious, and when to blend the two. It was kind of surreal to think that Dean and I had now known each other for almost four years and we were married and parents…and still hunters. We knew each other so well and yet sometimes I thought we didn't know each other at all.

"Baby, Johnny is safe with us. We're always going to be there for him and we're always going to protect him, all right? Where's that faith that you normally have?" He asked me, running his thumbs along my cheeks and then pulling me into an embrace. "I miss the Lanni that was always telling everyone else that everything was going to be good and fine and perfect."

I smiled sadly and buried my face in his chest. "Sometimes I just feel like no matter how optimistic I am, something bad always happens—I have terrible karma."

Dean nodded slowly and kissed the top of my head, looking me in the eye when I looked up at him. I leaned up on the balls of my feet and kissed him softly, pressing my lips against his a little harder when he returned it, slipping his fingers into my hair. He loved me so much and I loved him and it was a moment where I second guessed what we were doing. Why did _we_ have to hunt? Weren't there other hunters? Then I remembered that they were involved with _me_…this wasn't fair to them.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

The day before Halloween, Jen caught wind of a death in the area and Lana opted to stay with Johnny while I went with one of the boys to check it out. Sad thing was we had known the Wallace's, and I didn't think Lana really wanted to go into the environment of a woman with a baby who had lost her husband. Besides, Jen finding something meant witches and possibly something bigger, so Lana was being a mother _and_ researching, and so I had Dean come with me.

"Now, how many razor blades did they find?" I asked Mrs. Wallace, trying to be delicate about it, but truly needing to know.

"Two on the floor, one in his stomach, and one was stuck in his throat. He swallowed four of them. How is that even possible?" She asked and then gave Dean a look as he opened the door of the stove. "The candy was never in the oven."

Dean nodded slowly. "We just have to be thorough, Mrs. Wallace."

"Did the police find any razors in the rest of the candy?" I asked her trying to get back on the topic of the subject at hand.

"No. I mean, I don't know. I don't think so." She said with a nod while Dean looked around the fridge. "I just…I can't believe it. You hear urban legends about this stuff, but it actually happens?"

"Sadly, more than you might imagine." I replied with a sad smile, and glanced over, trying hard not to frown when I saw the hex bag he showed me. "Mrs. Wallace, did Luke have any enemies?"

She looked at me when I asked her that, and I knew she was wondering what I could mean by that, but I needed to know. Hex bags meant that someone wanted revenge or just simply wanted him dead and we needed to know who to find to make this stop. At the same time we were here because her husband had eaten candy and there were razor blades in it—at least that's what she believed.

"Enemies?" She asked me skeptically.

I nodded slowly. "Anyone who might have held a grudge against him?"

"What do you mean?" She asked again, not comprehending why I was asking such questions of her.

"Co-workers. Neighbors. Maybe a woman…" I tried slowly, even though I knew it wasn't the sort of thing that she wanted to hear.

"Are you suggesting an affair?" She asked me.

Well that was just great—here I come in and start making her feel like her husband was cheating on her? I was making her feel like not only was her husband cheating on her maybe, but someone had it out for him. All she wanted was to be left alone and to mourn her loss and I was making it worse…for once in my life I _hated_ my job…I hated it a _lot_.

"Is it possible?" I asked her slowly.

Mrs. Wallace looked appalled. "No! No, Luke would nev—"

"—I'm very sorry." I told her quickly, shaking my head. "We just have to consider all possibilities."

"If someone wanted to kill my husband, don't you think they'd find a better way than a razor in a piece of candy he might eat?" She asked me, raising her eyebrows.

I just smiled awkwardly and then Dean and I thanked her for her time and we left, Dean immediately calling Lana. He explained about the hex bag and then we headed back to the house, Lana taking the hex bag and Dean heading into the kitchen while we all sat around the coffee table in the living room. Johnny was building with giant legos and paying attention to his toys while Lana sighed loudly and ran her fingers through her hair, looking more upset than normal…but why?

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I opened up the hex bag and glanced up when Dean entered the room eating some candy from the giant bags in the kitchen for the Trick-or-Treaters the next night. Rolling my eyes, I laughed a little and looked back at the contents of the hex bag, feeling like this was more than just witches getting their rocks off. Something about it seemed _really _familiar and I felt like this wasn't a coincidence and maybe Johnny should be feeling like he needed to have his force field up 24/7.

"Really?" Sam asked Dean as Dean shoved candy in his mouth. "After that guy choked down all those razor blades?"

"It's Halloween, Man." Dean said with a shrug, eating another one. "Besides…my wife wouldn't let razor blades hang out in her candy."

Sam nodded and agreed with that. "Yeah…but for us every day is Halloween."

"Don't be a downer." Dean replied, sitting down next to him on the couch. "Anything interesting?"

"We're definitely hunting a which, but this is serious and it's not your typical hex bag." I explained, chewing a little on my lip and then I held up one of the herbs from the bag. "Goldthread—it's an herb that's been extinct for 200 years and this is Celtic." I explained, showing dean a coin. "I don't mean some new age knock-off either—it looks like the real deal, like 600 years old real. That that you're currently holding now, Baby…is the charred metacarpal bone of a newborn baby."

"Oh, gross!" Dean exclaimed, putting it back on the table.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Relax, man. It's, like at least 100 years old."

"Oh, right, like that makes it better?" Dean asked Sam as Sam picked up the bone and looked it over, Kate's nose in research. "Witches, man—they're so freaking skeevy."

"Hey!" I exclaimed, Kate reaching over and hitting Dean's arm hard.

Dean sighed loudly and apologized to Kate and me since we _weren't _skeevy, but we agreed that a lot of witches were. There were a lot more witches that got their powers by selling their souls to demons than there were that got their powers from having _actual _magic coursing through their veins. Right now, though, we had to figure out what powerful witch we were up against and why.

"The problem with this hex bag is that it takes a pretty powerful one to put a bag like this together—like more juice than you and Sammy have ever dealt with before. Jen, Kate and I have dealt with this before though…Mom should take a look at this bag and see if she can put anything together for us." I explained to Dean, glancing at Kate. "What about you, Katie? Find anything on Luke?"

Kate nodded slowly. "This Luke Wallace—"

"—he was so vanilla that he made vanilla seem spicy." Dean finished for her. "We can't find any reason why somebody would want him dead."

"That's incredibly helpful." I said and we all smiled a little at the sarcasm.

There was some more research to do and I called Mom on the phone, all of us splitting up a little to search better. Sometimes there was only so much that any of us could do, and I laughed a little as Dean ate some more candy and it reminded me of the previous Halloween and we had to set some ground rules. I wanted the Trick-or-Treaters to get candy, and I wanted them to have fun—it was always one of my favorite holidays.

"Dean, this Halloween you have got to let the kids have the candy, okay?" I asked him, picking up Johnny and bouncing him a little on my lap.

Dean looked at me. "What?"

"Dean you heard me—this is the _kids_' holiday." I informed her, giving him a stern look.

"Don't you steal candy from the bowl and tell me how hot I am with food shoved into my mouth in between Trick-or-Treaters?" Dean asked me winking—he had a point, but still this was for the kids.

"We always get that group of kids where you open up the door and suddenly it's all like, 'We ran out of candy, but don't worry about it, have an apple. You guys don't need candy anyway! Don't get mugged! Stay in groups!' I _hated_ those people on Halloween!" I explained to him, making faces and waving around my arms as I spoke.

Dean smirked and made eye contact with me. "God you're sexy when you're all riled up and doing impressions of me."

"Dean!" I scolded, "Kate and Sam can hear us right now, and the three of us made a pact while you were out buying the candy, okay?"

"Since when has their hearing us ever stopped us?" Dean asked me honestly.

There it was—he had me this time and he totally knew it too. He and I did all sorts of questionable things when Kate and Sam were sleeping and though the first time in the motel bed next to them in the middle of the night had been all Dean's fault, it wasn't _just_ his fault anymore. These days Dean and I were so comfortable with each other and I just so desperately wanted him right then all playful and perfect.

"Well…okay you have a point…_once_ and then we continue this discussion." I told him, trying to be all firm and laying down the law with him.

Dean smirked a little more. "It's not only going to be once and you know it, Lanni."

I smirked when he said it because once again he had me—it wasn't just going to be once. Dean and I tended to have sex twice when we slept together and it was always practically in a row. He and I were pretty proud with even numbers, and whenever I tried new things I was always rewarded with yet one more go on top of our regular two if I was up to it and if I wasn't going to just get one time…I was damn well getting three.

xxxx

Dean had his fingers in my hair and our naked bodies were pressed together when Kate knocked on the bedroom door. Sam was downstairs with Johnny and I couldn't even properly hit on my husband and get my second go in when my playful banter was ruined because something had happened. There was yet another death, only this time it was a teenager and it was yet another strange story only this time all five of us went to go and see what was up since we could blend in with the neighbors—Hell, technically we _were_ neighbors since it wasn't very far from home, and that in itself was worrying me.

"You know, it's just so weird." Tracy, one of the teenagers from the party, explained to the policeman. "I mean, the water in the tub…it wasn't hot. I had just been in there myself."

"Your friend didn't happen to know a man named Luke Wallace?" Dean asked her. "Agent Seger. FBI."

I swallowed as he flashed his badge and the policeman walked away, me eying Tracy. For a moment she had eyed me too and I had a bad feeling about her—something was off and I didn't trust her and I knew that I had to do something about it. Kate and Sam were out with Johnny being neighbors, and I was pretending to be my husband's GBI partner. I couldn't make a scene so I had to go with this, and I had to try and fit in.

"Um, who's Luke Wallace?" Tracy asked Dean.

I stepped up to them, the hex bag I'd found in my pocket. "He died yesterday."

"I don't know who that is." She replied, both of us looking at each other.

I watched as the blonde walked away and I raised my eyebrows, showing Dean the hex bag and then heading back to the house. We struck up some research and I explained my feelings to Kate, and she seemed to think I should make sure to follow my gut and I just agreed with her. Especially because as close to home as this was, and with all of the demons after Johnny popping out of the woodwork, our new research was making me rather worried.

"I don't think this is about pay-back. This is some serious magic and I think they're working a spell." I explained, handing them a spellbook that Kate and I always kept around. "Three blood sacrifices over three days, the last before midnight on the final day of the final harvest…Celtic calendar. Wanna guess when the day of the final harvest is?"

Dean sighed as he read it. "Halloween."

"Exactly, and this witch isn't just summoning any demon, Dean—Samhain." I explained to him.

"Am I supposed to be impressed?" Dean asked me as Sam rubbed his temples and Kate took a deep breath.

"Dean, Samhain is the damn origin of Halloween." Kate explained to him. "The Celts believed that October 31st was the one night of the year when the veil was thinnest between the living and the dead, and it was Samhain's night. I mean, masks were put on to hide from him, sweets left on doorsteps to appease him, faces carved into pumpkins to worship him. He was exorcised centuries ago."

Dean nodded slowly. "So even though Samhain took a trip downstairs, the tradition stuck."

"Exactly, only now, instead of demons and blood orgies, Halloween is all about kids, candy, and costumes." Sam finished off.

"Okay, so some witch wants to raise Samhain and take back the night?" Dean asked us.

"I know it sounds kind of funny, but this is serious, Dean. We're talking _heavy_ witchcraft—this ritual can only be performed every 600 years and that year-marked rolls round tomorrow night and once Samhain is raised, he can do some raising of his own." I explained to my husband. "We're talking evil following him around everywhere he goes. Ghosts, Zombies—"

"—Leprechauns?" Dean joked.

Sam gave him a look. "Dean."

"Those little dudes are scary. Small hands." Dean replied.

I smiled a little as Kate and Sam did, all of us rather entertained and yet we knew this was important. We knew that no matter what happened, we had to stop this and we had to stop this as soon as possible. Nothing good could come of this and with everything we had on our plate, we really couldn't deal with Samhain being raised and causing all the havoc that he would be causing.

"Look, it just starts with ghosts and ghouls. This sucker keeps on going, by night's end, we are talking every awful thing we've ever seen, everything we fight all in one place." Sam told Dean slowly.

Dean nodded and swallowed. "It's gonna be a slaughterhouse."

I nodded and then Dean decided to go and tail Tracy, me staying with Johnny and Kate, Sam heading out with his brother. I just wanted to make sure that my son was all right because I had terrible feelings—why was this happening so close to me and Johnny? Why was this happening so close to home and why wasn't Castiel here to talk to me about what was happening? He said he would be here…

"You okay, Lan?" Kate asked me slowly, reaching out and squeezing my hand.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, I just…I feel like things are starting to get a little hopeless."

"Things are going to be fine, Lan. All we need to do is be there for each other, take out the opposition, and you need to embrace who you are." Kate explained to me and then laughed when I popped from one part of the room to the other. "Yeah…like that."

"I don't have the hang on _everything_, but I'm getting the hang on a lot." I told her slowly. "I haven't told or shown Dean though…he's scared of what I am, and he should be. I'm just also starting to think that he's scared of our son…and that maybe now he doesn't _want_ any more kids with me."

"Oh, I highly doubt that." Kate said laughing. "He wants a family with you—he wants something to settle down with."

I smiled at her and then opened up my mouth to say something, but Sam and Dean came back to tell us that Tracy was the Wallace's babysitter—so she'd lied. She knew the Wallaces well and that meant that she was most likely what we were looking for. She had seemed so different and yet almost protected…maybe she was a powerful demon and I wasn't honed in my 'anti-christ' powers quite yet.

"Interesting look for a centuries-old witch." Kate said as Sam kissed the top of her head and went for his laptop.

"Yeah, well, if you were a 600-year-old hag and you could pick any costume to come back in, wouldn't you go for a hot cheerleader? I would. Mmm," Dean said, a little lost in his thoughts and then he looked at me when I smacked his arm.

I gave him a look. "You just kind of said that you wanted to be a girl…"

"According to this, Tracy wasn't so wholesome either." Kate said interrupting us, having hacked into Tracy's school records already. "Apparently, she got into a violent altercation with one of her teachers. Got suspended from school…we should talk to him."

They all agreed and then Sam and Dean headed out again the next day, headed to talk to the teacher while I hung out with Kate, Jen and the girls. Jen was kind of excited to have a third child even though she only wanted two, and she was definitely hoping that she was going to have a little boy. I really wanted to be there where she was—having _another_ child…so why I couldn't be there? I wanted to have another baby…I wanted to be a mother and settle down…

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I was feeling a little bit distracted, but I was getting through this case the best that I could. Meeting Mr. Harding had been interesting and we definitely knew that through him Tracy had 'learned to use the kiln'—she used his kiln to burn the most recent bones. She was a seriously disgusting being and we went to her apartment to try and find her, but with no luck.

"Luck is not our style. Friends don't know where she is. It's like the bitch hopped a broom stick." I said in a tired voice.

Sam nodded slowly. "She could be making the third sacrifice any time."

"Yes, thank you, Sam." I said before we were interrupted by a kid dressed up as an astronaut.

"Trick or treat." He said, holding out his pillow case candy sack.

"This is a motel." I told him.

The kid looked at me. "So?"

"So we don't have any candy." I explained to him.

Honestly, how hard was it for him to understand that we didn't have any candy on us? Even if I did, Lana wasn't here to tell me to be nice and the kid was in the way of us getting back home, so I really just needed him to move. Still…still he kind of reminded me of what Johnny would be someday—if we made it there. Lately I was worried that my association with my family was going to do more harm than good.

"I want candy." The kid insisted.

I looked at him. "Well, I think you've had enough."

The kid gave me a rather mean glare and then bumped into me as he left, Sam shaking his head at me. Yeah, I could have handled it better, but suddenly I was worried about my family and my son and I wanted to get home to my wife. I needed to show her that we could have what we wanted if we tried…that was just something I had to believe in. If there was one thing I had learned from Lana, it was to have faith—faith and the drive to fight for what I wanted.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

After a little bonding with Jen, I went back to the house and I gasped a little when I saw Castiel and Uriel there. Uriel was as big and black and scary as he had been the first time that we had met, and Kate looked a little tense. I introduced everyone and then I set Johnny in his play pen and his force field went straight off. It wasn't Castiel either…it was Uriel and we all knew that.

"What are you doing here?" I asked them, crossing my arms over my chest.

Right as I asked, Sam and Dean came in the door and Kate stood up from her seat on the couch, immediately introducing everyone. Sam and Castiel shook hands while Uriel stood there, giving me a lot of disapproving looks and Dean wasn't very happy about it. He understood the hate in Uriel's eyes for Sam and I and he made the connection of the demon blood when Castiel mentioned it.

"The boy with the demon blood. Glad to hear you've ceased your extra-curricular activities." Castiel told Sam, holding his hand.

Uriel nodded slowly. "Let's keep it that way."

"Yeah, okay, Chuckles." Dean replied and then looked at Castiel. "Who's your friend?"

"This raising of Samhain…have you stopped it?" Uriel asked him instead.

I took a breath to keep myself calm. "That's Uriel and yes we've located the witch, and before you ask, no she's not dead yet, but we know who she is."

"She knows who you are too, Lana—we found this in the wall of this room." Uriel explained, tossing me the hex bag.

"So she's onto us then…and you being here means this raising is one of the 66 seals, I presume?" I asked them.

Uriel nodded slowly. "And you need to stop it. You have your powers in full now—we can't track you, yourself, and if you focused you could find this witch before any real harm was done."

"I'd appreciate it if you spoke to my wife with a little more respect." Dean told him suddenly.

"I don't care what you want, Dean." Uriel replied without skipping a beat.

Uriel had explained to me the night that we met that he wanted me and Johnny dead. He didn't understand why we were still kept around, and he didn't understand why the angels were using us when we were such dangerous weapons. Uriel wasn't about to go against orders, however, so no matter the hatred and disdain, Uriel wasn't going to make any kind of move to hurt us.

"What happens if we don't stop it?" I asked Uriel, getting back to the point at hand.

Uriel looked directly at me. "I'm going to wipe this place off of the map. We don't have time…we're here to destroy it."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa—no." I told him firmly. "You're not just going to smite this whole town. I'll tap into my powers and find this witch."

"This isn't a chance we can take." Uriel explained to me.

"There are a thousand people here." Sam intervened quickly.

Uriel looked at him. "1,214."

"And you're willing to kill them all?" Sam asked him.

"This isn't the first time I've…purified a city." Uriel informed us candidly.

Kate shook her head. "Look, I understand that seals have broken and that you guys have to stop this, but there's another way—trust in Lana's abilities."

Dean looked at her and then at the floor, focusing then on Castiel as all of us remained silent. Uriel and I kept direct eye contact and Johnny still sat in his crib with his force field up, all of us trying to figure out how to get past this. We knew we had no other choice in the matter but to let me use my powers, and I needed to work on them quick because the sooner the better—too many people I loved lived here and I couldn't just let this place be 'purified'.

"I don't trust her farther than I can throw her." Uriel told Kate, looking directly at me when he said it.

Dean glared at him. "Seriously—cut it out. She's our best option here."

"Do you think I can do this, Cas?" I asked him slowly.

"It would certainly prove that you were on our side." Castiel explained to me, his blue eyes meeting mine. "We have order to nuke this town, directly from Heaven…if you can't do this, we have no other choice."

"How much time can you give me?" I asked him, taking a step closer to him.

Castiel kept eye contact with me. "A few hours, but that's all."

"Then I have a few hours to deep fry me a witch." I replied with a nod, squeezing the hex bag in my hand. "I should be able to find her before anything bad happens."

"Bad things have already happened." Uriel pointed out to me.

"Hey, Buddy, shut-up. Lanni says she can do it, so she can do it. You're _not_ smiting this whole town." Dean told him firmly. "We're doing this our way."

"I suggest you move quickly." Castiel replied nodding.

With that the angels were gone with the sound of the flutter of wings and I was deep in a spell book, trying to figure out how to track this witch. She was good, and she was ancient, and this was out of my league, but I had the power. All I had to do was tap into it and then use it for our benefit—thousands of people were counting on me.

"I thought they'd be different." Sam said in the silence.

Kate nodded as she picked up Johnny from the play pen. "Yeah…there's nothing more dangerous than some asshole who thinks he's on a holy mission."

"But, I mean, this is God and heaven? This is what Lan and I have been praying to?" Sam asked aloud.

"Look, man, I know you're into the whole God thing—Jesus on a tortilla and stuff like that—but just because there's a couple of bad apples doesn't mean the whole barrel is rotten. I mean, for all we know, God hates these jerks. Don't give up on the stuff is all I'm saying. Babe Ruth was a dick, but baseball's still a beautiful game." Dean told him.

I looked at Sam and realized he was looking at me, waiting for me to speak. "Castiel got me through some dark days when Dean was in Hell and Uriel is afraid of the potential of the demon blood running through my veins—he isn't too happy with you. This whole Lucifer thing is making the angels jumpy and for all we know, there's more going on here than we think."

"If you can still have faith when Uriel so obvious wanted to smite you right then and there…I don't know why _I_ can't have it." Sam said with a small smile.

I smiled a little and nodded too, quickly looking back at the spell book and then figuring out where Tracy was. It took me longer than I wanted and it was night time, Annie staying with Johnny while Sam, Dean, Kate and I headed out to find Tracy and Don Harding. The hex bag had showed up after the boys had talked to Mr. Harding, and when we got to the basement of his house, Tracy was tied and gagged while Don recited an incantation in front of the altar, about to stab Tracy when Sam and Dean shot him in the back and went to untie Tracy but I stopped them.

"Hey! No." I said as Dean went for the restraints, the gag already off.

She looked at me. "What? That sick son-of-a-bitch was going to kill me!"

"He said a sloppy incantation, you stupid bitch." I replied, walking towards her as Sam and Dean backed off, trusting my judgment. "He was the final sacrifice…it was going to be you."

"God, you're good, Lana." She responded and suddenly she was out of the ropes, Kate, Sam and Dean neutralized up against the walls. "Our master has returned. This spell work's a two-man job, you understand? So for 600 years, I had to deal with that pompous son of a bitch. Planning, preparing…unbearable. The whole time, I wanted to rip his face off…and you get him with a gun. Oh, I love that." She said as she gathered his blood, me holding out my hand to stop her in her tracks. "You know, back in the day, this was the one night you kept your children inside. Well, tonight, you'll all see what Halloween really is."

I shook my head. "Not today, Bitch."

She said the incantation quickly, however, me killing her just as she finished, feeling a little lightheaded but enjoying the rush. I felt so powerful and so perfect for a moment, right before I felt something hard hit me in the back of the head and I fell onto the floor, blacking out.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

Sam, Kate and I were certain Lana was still alive even though Samhain left her alone and then headed away from us since we were wearing his blood as masks to shield us from him—Sam's idea. We picked her up and carried her out to the car, me kissing her softly as she groaned and went to rub the back of her head.

"I am going to kill that son of a bitch." She muttered and I shook my head.

"No you're not, Lanni. You're done for now—Sam, Kate and I are going to handle it from here, all right?" I told her.

Lana made a face. "No, that's _not_ all right, Dean. I have to do this—I have to prove my allegiance to the angels."

"She has a point, Dean." Kate intervened with a sigh. "I mean we have to get to the cemetery and we have to get there fast. There's no telling when he's going to start raising evil and this demon's pretty powerful."

"It might take more than the usual weapons." Sam agreed nodding.

"Sam, no. You're not using your psychic whatever." I told him shaking my head. "I hate it enough that Lana does it—I don't want this to happen. Don't even think about it. Ruby's knife is enough. In fact Kate and I will do this on our own if you two push the matter any further."

I loved my wife, I did, but I was scared of what she was and I was scared of Sam when Sam used the powers. They had demon blood in them and I knew I couldn't understand what that was like, but I also knew that if the angels didn't like that about them, then I shouldn't either. This was like playing with fire and I was worried about them and I just wanted to do this the old fashioned way.

"Dean, there's no other way." Lana insisted and then like that, she and Sam were gone.

I hadn't seen her use her power like that before, but I knew that I had to get to the cemetery with Kate and quick. We hurried there and got inside of one of the mausoleums, helping out some teenagers who had had a party in there. One of them had died already and Kate and I killed the zombies and unlocked the place for the teenagers, heading in to see Sam and Lana facing Samhain on their own.

"Fine, Sam…you do it." Lana responded. "I have your back."

I felt at such a loss to move and Kate and I just stood there as Sam held out his hand and started to exorcise Samhain with his mind, Ruby's knife knocked off to the side. Sam's nose started to bleed as he noticed Kate and I watching him and I couldn't help but feel so incredibly powerless and sad as I saw the look on Lana's face—she was proud. How could she be proud of this? This was unnatural—that was obvious judging the bloody nose and the headache…and I just felt overwhelmed and disappointed.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Dean hardly spoke to any of us the next day. He just headed out to the park and sat by himself, Kate and Sam hanging out in the living room with Johnny and I. We were worried about Dean, but we also knew that no matter what we did, we couldn't convince him that what Sam had done was for the better. He was battling with the demon inside of him and he had to learn to control his powers…which meant using them. Yeah, the angels were wary, but they had given me permission to use _my _powers, and so Sam using his wasn't even the worst of it.

"Tomorrow is November 2nd. That's an anniversary for you, right?" Uriel asked us all suddenly.

I looked at him. "What are you doing here?"

"It's the day Azazel killed your mother, and, 22 years later, your girlfriend, too. It must be difficult to bear, yet you brazenly use the power he gave you, his profane blood pumping through your veins." Uriel told Sam and then he turned to me. "And you—you're his daughter. His blood inside of your mother created you and we should kill you…we should have your head on a platter, but your mother protected you. The only reason we don't rip her bones from her flesh is because she bred you to fight for us…but things change."

"You stay away from my mother." I told Uriel strongly, stepping up close to him, glancing at Johnny, who had his force field up. "And stay away from my son."

Uriel looked me in the eye. "The only reason that Sam Winchester is still alive is because he's been useful. The moment that ceases to be true, the second he becomes more trouble than he's worth, one word…one…and I turn him to dust. You, will be harder to kill, but I swear to you that I will waste you the second you step out of line and if you prove to be a nuisance, I'm kill him too."

I shook my head slowly, tears coming to my eyes. "Threatening my son is the last thing you want to do, Uriel—angel or not, I will hurt you if you go near him."

"Don't threaten me, stain." Uriel told me, narrowing his eyes. "Tell your husband that maybe he should climb off that high horse of his. Ask Dean…what he remembers from Hell, Sam."

I closed my eyes as Uriel vanished, Johnny's force field going down and I picked him up, holding him close to me and stroking his blonde hair. I almost felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest—this wasn't right. This wasn't how my life was supposed to go. Why couldn't I be normal? Why couldn't I have normal things?

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I had to get out of the house for a little while after what had happened in mausoleum and I knew the others wouldn't come after me. They wanted to give me my space to let me think and I was grateful to them…I needed time to get used to the idea of all of this. My wife and my brother had demon blood in them and what they could do was unnatural and frowned upon and yet…and yet they would do all of this anyway.

"Let me guess," I said as I felt Castiel's presence beside me, "you're here for the 'I told you so'."

Castiel shook his head. "No."

"Well, good, 'cause I'm really not that interested." I explained to him.

"I am not here to judge you, Dean." Castiel said in an emotionless voice.

"Then why are you here?" I asked, really wanting to be left alone some more.

"Our orders…"

"Yeah, you know, I've had about enough of these orders of yours."

Castiel continued. "Our orders…were not to stop the summoning of Samhain. They were to do whatever you told us to do and to let Lana make her choice."

I let the words sink in and looked directly at him, raising my eyebrows.

"Your orders were to follow my orders?" I asked him skeptically. "And what do you mean to let Lana make her choice?"

"It was a test…to see how you would perform under…battlefield conditions, you might say." Castiel explained. "As to Lana, she has a weight on her shoulders her mother tried to shield her from but she needs to do this. This is who she is and if she steps out of line, Uriel _will_ kill her, and he'll kill Johnny too. She's walking a tight line and right now…right now she's making the right choices—she's fighting for us."

I nodded slowly. "Right…so she's doing all right but I, uh, failed your test, huh? I get it. But you know what? If you were to waive that…that magic time-traveling wand of yours and we had to do it all over again, I'd make the same call. 'Cause, see, I don't know what's gonna happen when these seals are broken. Hell, I don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow, but what I do know is…is that this here, these kids, the swings, the trees, all of it…is still here because of my family and me. I did what I did—I made the call that I made—to save these people…to give my son a chance to get to play here again."

"You misunderstand me, Dean. I'm not like you think. I was praying that you would choose to save the town." Castiel said slowly.

"You were?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"These people…they're all my father's creations. They're works of art. And yet…even though you stopped Samhain, the seal was broken, and we are one step closer to Hell on Earth for all creation, and that's not an expression, Dean. It's literal. You of all people should appreciate what that means. I'll tell you something…if you promise not to tell another soul." Castiel explained to me.

I swallowed. "I assume that goes for Lana too?"

"Lana is your wife…she is there for you to confide in and cherish and you should do so—she is an exception." Castiel said after a pause.

"Okay then." I replied.

"I'm not, uh…a hammer, as you say. I have questions. I…I have doubts. I don't know what is right and what is wrong anymore, and whether you passed or failed here, but, in the coming months, you will have more decisions to make. I don't envy the weight that's on your shoulders, Dean. I truly don't." Castiel told me.

I nodded and looked away for a few seconds, turning back to look at Castiel but realizing that he was already gone. Everything that he had told me was starting to sink in completely and I stood up, heading for the Impala and then heading home. There was so much that I needed to talk about and there was only _one_ person with whom I could talk to about _everything_ and _anything_…Lana.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I got up from the couch when Dean came in the door, Johnny looking up from his toys with a smile on his face. Dean kissed me tenderly and then rested his forehead on mine for a moment, kissing me again and then looking around. He was making sure that we were alone and we were for the time being—Sam and Kate had gone to take a walk because what Uriel had said had really gotten to Sam and he needed his fiancé by his side to help him through it…and she wasn't going anywhere.

"Cas visited me at the park." Dean explained slowly.

I nodded and smiled sadly. "Uriel came here and he had a _lot_ to say…what was it that Cas said?"

"You first." Dean told me, suddenly only interested in what Uriel could have possibly wanted.

"As always, Uriel is worried about what I am and he doesn't trust me to stay on our side." I explained with a soft shrug.

"Cas says his and Uriel's orders were really to follow _my_ orders." Dean explained to me, shaking his head. "What's going on, here, Lanni? You've talked to them more than me and I don't know what to do."

I took a deep breath. "Neither do I…Dean, talk to me. There's so much more going on with you than you'll admit and I need to know what that something is."

"Lanni…don't…" Dean told me shaking his head. "Don't ask me."

"I _know_ I said we'd do this on _your_ time, but I'm tired of being left out of your life, Dean. I know Hell is hard for you to talk about, but I can't help but feel like it's something we can _both_ discuss." I explained to him. "You had to live it and I'll _never_ know what that was like but I had to _see_ it and the things that happened down there are going to haunt _both_ of us."

Dean shook his head and headed back towards the front door, leaving me to feel as if I had pushed him. I had told him we'd do this on _his_ time, but there was so much I didn't understand and I needed to understand it and I felt like he didn't trust me enough to tell me. I needed to come clean about my powers and about Johnny showing signs of being almost as strong as me and I needed to talk about Hell. Uriel kept making me feel like I was worthless and like I didn't understand and he wanted us to ask Dean…so it had to be important for us to know.

"Dean where are you going? You can't just walk out!" I told him as he opened up the front door.

Dean went out the front door anyway, leaving me to nod sadly and brush a fallen tear off of my cheek, wishing I'd just kept my mouth shut. It was too painful for him to talk about and I had pushed it too soon and no matter my reasons, I was wrong to do it. There were things that he wanted to talk about and things that he didn't and I knew my husband well enough to know that he cared and shared at his own pace…so why did I push it?

"Daddy…" Johnny whispered sadly.

**Note: Yeah, I know I left that all angsty and sad, and there is more angst to come, but I promise there's a silver lining. There will also be a lot more flashbacks, some cuts, **_**lots**_** of additions, and lots of stuff to pay attention to. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	78. Past of the Present

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay…I wasn't really a fan of "Wishful Thinking" even though there were parts that were funny, so I'm kind of skipping it…I just feel like I don't need it.**

**This chapter is **_**really**_** angsty, has a **_**lot**_** of flashbacks, and a **_**lot**_** of confessions.**

**I promise there will be fluff soon, but first I have two **_**huge**_** angsty storylines to work on and I hope that you guys will enjoy it…I want to get into Season Five and Season Six **_**so**_** bad, so I'm going to be focusing on this story and moving it along as fast as I can while still not forgetting what I want in it and I hope that's okay with you guys.**

**Also, this chapter is ENTIRELY in third person because EVERYONE'S emotions and thoughts and flashbacks are INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT.**

**So without further ado, here is this chapter.**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Third Person**

Kate smiled a little as she woke up that morning, Sam running his fingers along her bare arms, kissing her cheek. Even though Dean hadn't come home the night before, Sam and Kate had made sure to spend time with each other and they needed to make sure to devote some time just the two of them. They wanted to focus on some hunting and on making sure that the world was safe and that they could find Lilith, and yet they needed to spend time reveling in the 'normal' moments.

"Good morning." Kate said, turning over and kissing her naked fiancé as they snuggled under the covers that morning. "So, I smell coffee."

Sam nodded and kissed his fiancé again. "Lana and Johnny are already up eating—you can smell the turkey bacon on the air too."

"Did Dean come home yet?" Kate asked Sam, stroking his cheek and nodding slowly when Sam shook his head, his face sad. "Of course not…when do you think he'll come back and will he have almost cheated again?"

"I assure you he won't do that again." Sam told her, cupping her face and running his thumb along her chin. "He loves Lana almost as much as I love you."

"Oh my God, _that_ much?" Kate asked him, laughing a little and kissing him again. "We haven't talked about our wedding yet, you know."

Sam nodded and held Kate close to him. "I know, but I want to make sure that we don't have to focus on anything else but us. I want to marry you _so_ much more than you know, but right now we have to focus on demon hunting."

"I know, don't worry." Kate replied and kissed him lovingly, the kiss escalating. "I'm sure Dean will show up today…for now let's just go again."

Sam smirked at her. "Well we _are_ kind of already not dressed for this…"

Lana had just finished cleaning off Johnny's face from breakfast and let him go into the living room to play with his toys when Dean knocked on the front door. He'd spent all night at a motel that was close, thinking over things and trying to come up with a way to make sure that his family was going to be safe. No matter what he and Lana wanted, there were things that they _needed_ to do, and there was a war to fight that they were both too stubborn to let go.

When Lana opened up the door she was smiled a little, having sensed it was his as she neared the door. She didn't really understand why in the world he hadn't just opened up the door and let himself in since she considered it _his_ house too, but they _had_ fought and he was just trying to be polite. They smiled softly at each other and Lana cocked her head a little to one side, letting Dean start off the conversation.

"Hey." He said slowly.

She nodded and cocked her head to the side a little. "Hi. It's your house too you know. You can just walk right in even after a fight."

"Yeah, I uh…" Dean began with a nod, Johnny wandering towards the door and holding his teddy bear with two hands, a red shirt and some jeans on, "…I'm here to say 'goodbye'."

The words hit Lana harder than either of them had expected them to and suddenly there was sharp pain in her chest. It didn't take long for the ache to start to spread either, and it took her a moment to drag the words out and speak to him.

"What?" She asked, the words barely audible.

The pain written all over her face and the sadness in her eyes was almost enough to break him, but he had thought long and hard about this. He had thought about how dangerous this life was and about how the demons didn't just come after them, and he needed to take away the added danger. He didn't feel like he was being a very good father if he stuck there and made their lives miserable when there was hunting to do…when he couldn't talk to his wife about things he _knew_ he needed to talk to her about.

"You and Johnny deserve better than this. I'm sorry I walked out the other day because I couldn't handle the topic of conversation but I just…I can't do this. I thought that I could just go back to my old life with you but I can't—I can't drag you down with me. I can't do this to you." Dean explained to her, avoiding eye contact.

Lana shook her head. "Dean, I'm your _wife_. You can't just up and decide to leave without talking to me first. What about Johnny?"

Lana and Dean both glanced at Johnny as he held the teddy bear closing, understanding the tension in the room. His parents were both sad and upset and it was making him sad and upset, but he knew he couldn't do anything about it. Dean nodded slowly and then he looked at Lana who looked absolutely crestfallen, looking at the floor, slowly making eye contact with him.

"You and Johnny are better off away from me—better off someplace safe and stable and I have to figure out why I was pulled out of Hell and why these demons want Johnny. I can't put you through this, Lanni, I just…I love you, but I have to go." Dean said, and with a shake of his head and tears collected in his eyes, he turned and started down the porch steps.

"How come you can take on my baggage, but I can't take on yours?" Lana asked suddenly, hurrying after him. "You're being a selfish bastard. No!"

She made her way in front of him and planted her hands on his chest, pushing on him to make him stop in front of her. He was avoiding eye contact because it was hurting him too, but there was nothing more to say as far as he was concerned. Dean knew Lana wouldn't take this very well, but he didn't expect her to try and stop him like this—he didn't expect her to start making a scene.

"You don't get to just decide that you're leaving!" Lana told him, shaking her head as the tears came and she pushed on his chest again. "I knew I shouldn't have pushed you about Hell, and I take it back, okay? I take it all back, just please…please stay with me. I _want_ all of your baggage, and I want to stand by you and I want to help you to defeat your demons—your personal ones _and_ the literal ones. I want to prove everyone wrong and show them that we're stronger than everything that they send at us, all right? We can do this, but you _have_ to be on board with this, _with_ me."

Dean felt a tear slide down his cheek. "I can't be the reason you and Johnny die."

"Baby, you're not _going_ to be." Lana promised him kissing him and cupping his face. "Besides, Dean…Sam and Kate know—Uriel told them that you remember Hell, and I know you don't want to talk about it now…but you're going to have to eventually."

"I hate him." Dean explained, making eye contact with Lana again finally. "He's a dick and he's looking to pick a fight."

"Stay with me." Lana said suddenly, kissing him again. "Just…just stay with me…please."

Dean took a deep breath and nodded. "Yeah…yeah, okay."

"I love you." Lana told him before she kissed him again, smiling a little as he brushed the fallen tears off of her cheeks with his thumbs. "You scared me, you know."

Dean nodded slowly and kissed her, Sam and Kate making it to the open front door and looking out at them. They'd heard part of the conversation and they didn't want to get too involved in it, but they hadn't heard anything about Hell—they had heard the parts before it through their window. Kate picked Johnny up and she and Sam took him into the kitchen, Lana and Dean heading inside and trying to make themselves look presentable.

"I probably look like crap now." Lana said with a laugh, fluffing her hair a little.

Dean smiled and shook his head. "That's not even possible."

"We can do this, Dean…I promise you that we can. We just…we need to be honest with each other _all_ the time and that means…that means that I have a _lot_ to come clean about." Lana explained taking a deep breath. "There's something I've been keeping from you too—two things actually. I haven't known how to bring them up and one is big and Cas wanted me to keep it to myself, but I just…I don't want this to fall apart because we can't _talk_ to each other."

"All right…we'll get some talking out right and proper…_after_ some breakfast. Is that okay with you?" Dean asked her, stroking her hair.

Lana nodded and the two went into the kitchen, Sam eating some breakfast with Kate and Sam before Sam opened up his mouth and Dean knew it was coming. Kate took a breath because she knew that eventually they all would have to explain what was happening to them now and what had happened when Dean was in Hell and it was going to be hard. It was going to be hard for all of them and they really didn't know what to do, but they knew that this was just the beginning of confessions and anger and angst and then eventually…acceptance.

"I assume that Lana told you that Uriel told us that you remember Hell?" Sam asked Dean as Johnny played with his teddy bear on his mother's lap, both of them already fed.

Dean nodded slowly. "Yeah…yeah she did."

"Why did you lie to us?" Sam asked him.

"Because I don't want to talk about it. Lanni's known since I came back that the nightmares she had were real and I haven't even talk to _her_ about it." Dean explained shaking his head.

"Wait a minute…nightmares? Like you _saw_ what was happening and you didn't talk to Kate and I about it?" Sam asked her.

Lana took a deep breath. "All I did was mention that I had nightmares…I didn't tell you details and I didn't think they were real…but they were, and it's Dean's problems to share, Sammy."

Sam nodded slowly as Kate and Dean did, Johnny suddenly getting very silent and then Sam started shaking his head. None of them wanted Dean to have to go through this on his own—they just wanted to be there for him and protect him and help him, but he never _let_ them. Dean thought that he had to take everything onto himself and then whenever someone tried to help _him_, he kept it to himself and it was frustrating. Sam was his brother and Sam wanted to be there for him like Dean was there for him.

"So tell us about it." Sam said suddenly.

Dean shook his head. "No."

"Uh…" Sam began, not having the words to say.

"I won't lie anymore, but I'm not gonna talk about it." Dean explained shaking his head.

"Dean, look, you can't just shoulder this thing alone. You got to let us help—at least let _Lan_ help…she had to see it all." Sam explained to him slowly.

"How? Do you really think that a little heart-to-heart, some sharing and caring, is gonna change anything? Hmm? Somehow…_heal_ me? I'm not talking about a bad day here." Dean said, Sam saying he knew that, but Dean continuing. "The things that I saw…there aren't words. There is no forgetting. There's no making it better…because it is right here," Dean explained, pointing to his head, "forever. You wouldn't understand, and I could never make you understand…so I'm sorry."

Kate nodded slowly. "Yes, but Lana had to _see_ it too. Shouldn't you at least let _her_ help you through this?"

"I'm not pushing." Lana said shaking her head. "He's had a month to talk to me about it and he hasn't…just let it go. He'll talk when he wants to and not before—it'll happen, don't worry about it."

Dean smiled sadly at her momentarily and nodded slowly, glad to know that she was on his side no matter what. He wanted to leave her because he thought she'd be safer, but at the same time it broke him just to think like that. She was in his life and she was staying there no matter what _he _had to say on the matter, and he was going to have to accept that. They were going to get through this together and they were going to care and share as soon as they had the right atmosphere for it.

xxxx

For the next couple of weeks, everyone went about like nothing was wrong and kept things to themselves. Then Ruby showed up and told them about an Anna Milton, telling them that she had escaped from a mental institution and that the demons were looking for her. Lana had gotten a visit from Castiel and she was aware that this was a big hunt, so she was trying hard to find a way to go about it _without_ having to make anyone else _too_ uncomfortable with her and the powers she was getting the hang of.

"We're doing this again, why?" Dean asked Sam and Kate, Lana breastfeeding Johnny and chewing on her lip.

Kate ran her fingers through her hair. "Because Ruby told us to follow the leads and we have to follow the leads. Lana's on board with it, so why aren't you?"

"Because I don't trust the bitch." Dean said with a shrug.

"I don't trust Ruby either, but we have to." Lana explained with a small shrug that didn't upset Johnny. "This is just something that we have to do."

She hadn't told them that Castiel wanted them to do this yet, but that was because Castiel said it was on a 'need-to-know' basis and Lana wasn't sure how she felt about betraying his confidence. He was an angel, and he was there for her when Dean couldn't be because he was in Hell, and Lana knew that eventually Dean would know everything…but right now he was still skeptical. He wasn't even really on the angels' side and yet he was more on their side than he was on Ruby's—_that_, Lana was grateful for.

"She helped a bit, okay? She gave us leads on Lilith, she…I hate her with a fiery passion, but even _I_ think we should do this." Kate explained to Dean with a shrug. "She knows not to cross me."

_Kate shook her head as Sam left the room to grab Kate some water, Ruby looking directly at her. Ruby knew that Kate was upset and she didn't trust her, however she was there for a purpose and she was staying there as long as possible. Before Kate could open up her mouth to say anything, Ruby was talking to her and Kate was listening to her with hatred and yet with open ears._

"_This is the only way, Kate—are you going to help Sam to save us all from Lilith or aren't you?" Ruby asked her._

_Kate took a deep breath and shook her head. "I'm not on board with this plan, Ruby…if it has to be done, however, I'll stand by Sammy."_

"_That's a good choice." Ruby told her with a nod._

_Kate had had it, and she gave Ruby a glare, shaking her head slowly and taking a deep breath. She was going to lay down the law with Ruby once and for all and without Sam there to try and break up a potential future fight, she was able to say whatever it was that she wanted to say. Kate didn't trust Ruby and she never would…Ruby needed to understand that, and she needed to understand that there was __**no**__ way that Kate was letting anything happen to the man that she loved._

"_If you hurt him in __**any**__ way…I promise I'll be the first one to gank your skanky ass—and you won't be coming back from it." Kate threatened and Ruby saw the honesty in her eyes, both of them playing nice and smiling at Sam when he came back into the room and handed Kate her glass of water._

Dean took a deep breath as he listened to Kate telling the story and Lana burped Johnny, all tucked in again. He was only almost 11 months old and she hadn't weaned him yet, but she was thinking about it. Johnny seemed to like his bottle and his sippy-cup better anyway, but it had been the most convenient right then and it helped her to focus _not_ on the conversation that the others were having.

"So you didn't like what Sam was doing, but you did it anyway?" Dean asked Kate.

Kate took a deep breath. "Look, you told me to take care of Sammy, and I did. I made sure that he was safe and I made sure that he didn't ignore what and who he was. This is scary for us Dean—we're not demonic and we don't have demon blood in us and we don't understand what Sam and Lana are going through. I threatened her—if anything bad happens, I'm killing her without hesitation. For now, though…for now she's being rather helpful. It's surprising, but it's true."

"A lot of things happened when you were gone, Dean…to all of us." Lana said calmly, holding up her hand when Dean shot her a look. "Not about that, I just…we're taking this hunt—at least I am."

Dean closed his eyes and nodded. "Yeah…fine. We'll check this out. Do you have any vibes? Do you know where this Anna Milton is, Lanni?"

"I can easily get that information." She explained nodding. "Just give me a couple hours and then I can pinpoint her."

"Sam and I can go ahead and look up some more information too before we head out." Kate said, and glanced over at Sam who seemed lost in thought.

_**6 Months Earlier**_

_Sam dug a hole in the ground with his bare hands, putting a metal box in it and then covering it back up. Kate was on her way in her car to Sam, knowing that while he was fairly drunk he wouldn't be making very good choices. In fact as he stood up from burying his box for the crossroads demon, he took a large swig of alcohol and then opened up his mouth to speak._

"_Come on! Where the Hell are you?" Sam yelled, throwing the bottle of alcohol down and then seeing the demon as Kate got stopped at a red light._

"_I was wondering whether to come or not. I mean, you shot one of my co-workers." The Crossroads Demon explained to Sam, Sam walking in his direction. "Don't take this the wrong way, Sam, but you don't look so hot, Buddy. I guess burying your brother didn't agree with you."_

"_Well…" Sam said, Kate hurrying to the crossroads and parking the car._

_She knew that she had to be as close to Sam as possible because drinking didn't put him in the right frame of mind. He, Lana and Kate had been working around the clock to try and get Dean out of Hell even though they were all separated. Kate hated seeing Sam in so much physical and emotional pain and she wanted to take the hurt away, but there was nothing she could do—Dean was gone and they were all going to have to deal in their own ways. Still, Sam was the man she loved and she had to make sure that he wasn't going to run off and get himself hurt._

"_Well, let's see that special little knife of yours first." The demon explained, and Sam put the knife from Ruby down in front of the man on the wooden table between them._

_Sam looked at him, his eyes bloodshot. "No Devil's Traps, either—I'm not here to play games."_

"_Well, let me guess," the demon said, coming up to the table, "you want to make a deal. And 'round and 'round the Winchesters go." He said, placing his hands on the table. "I'm surprised that in all this time, Lana hasn't come back, and what about that lovely girlfriend of yours? Kate? I'm sorry, Sam. That's not gonna happen."_

_After a few moments, Kate saw the two and Sam suddenly grabbed the knife and shoved it into the demon's hand. It wasn't enough to kill him, but it hurt, and Kate hurried over to them just as Sam started yelling, the brokenness in his voice enough to break her heart even more than it was already broken._

"_I don't want 10 years." Sam explained, keeping the knife in place. "I don't want one year. I don't want candy! I want to trade places with Dean!"_

_The demon shook his head. "No."_

"_Just take me! It's a fair trade!" Sam shouted in anguish._

"_No!" The demon replied loudly._

"_Why not? Lilith wants me dead. Just let Dean go, and she can have me." Sam tried, wishing that someone would let him do __**something**__ to save the brother he loved that was gone because he brought Sam back to life._

_The demon laughed a little bit. "Don't you understand, Sam? It's not about your soul. Dean's in Hell, right where we want him. We've got everything exactly the way we want it. You want to kill me? Go ahead. I've made peace with my Lord."_

_Kate brushed a tear off of her cheek as Sam killed the demon, taking deep, painful breaths and then turning to her. He wanted to cry, and she knew he would, wrapping her arms around him and holding him to her. Sam wreaked of alcohol and dirt, but Kate held him close and whispered that she loved him, running her fingers through his hair to calm him down. She couldn't bring Dean back to him, but she could be there for him no matter the pain it caused her to see him so broken…she was determined to fix him and fix everything that had happened to them._

"Sammy?" Kate asked lovingly, resting her hand on his shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You okay?"

Sam nodded and shook the thoughts away, kissing Kate softly and then following her to do some research. There wasn't a day that went by without Sam feeling like he didn't deserve Kate or how she stood by him no matter what, and he wished there was _more_ that he could do for her. She deserved so much more than him and yet he didn't want to be anywhere else and he was determined to make this work—after everything that they had all been through, he thought they all deserved some happiness.

"So I will go ahead and go under cover to ask about Anna and her schizophrenia, and Lana can go ahead and deal with the big things…like tracking her down and talking her down." Sam explained to her, stroking her hair. "You know…I'm starting to see your brunette roots…"

Kate laughed a little and shrugged. "But they look fine, don't they? Cause naturally I have red highlights."

"You're beautiful as always." Sam replied and kissed her again before grabbing an address for the institution that Anna had escaped from.

xxxx

When they got to the motel, Lana and Johnny set to playing with some blocks while Kate and Sam went to talk to the psychiatrist while Dean looked around for some new information. There was a lot of ground to cover and Dean wanted to figure out where Anna was while Kate and Sam did more research together like they enjoyed. Lana was focusing on Johnny and yet she was completely alert when Castiel showed up in the room.

"Nice to see you again, Cas." Lana said with a smile on her face, Johnny smiling at Castiel too.

Castiel looked directly at her. "I want to know when you find Anna."

"So the angels are after her too? Not just the demons?" Lana asked him, nodding when he nodded at her.

He was only confirming her fear—they were on the trail of an incredibly powerful girl and they didn't know who or what she _really_ was. She could simply be an innocent with no knowledge, or she could be a powerful being that was leading them into a trap and suddenly Lana knew at least one thing—she didn't trust her. There was no room for trust when Lana had Johnny to think about as well, and she knew that no matter what happened Johnny's safety was priority number one.

"He seems calm." Castiel commented as he looked at Johnny playing with his blocks.

Lana smiled at Johnny and then looked up at Castiel. "Yeah…yeah he's a really good baby. It makes me feel a _lot_ better hearing a little concern in your voice for him."

"I do not have emotions, Lana." Castiel told her blankly.

"No, you do—you're like Vulcans. You _have_ emotions, you're just not ruled by them." Lana said with a soft laugh, smiling a little more brightly. "You _do_ know how grateful I am to you, right? I mean I wouldn't have made it through those months without Dean without you there."

Castiel looked her in the eye. "I was doing my job."

"Doing your job or not, you got me through a lot of bad times. I was a mess without him and _you_ brought him back to me. I don't care that they were your orders, Cas…_you_ fulfilled them and you've been different since Dean became your charge, but I'm _still_ grateful to you." Lana explained, looking back at Johnny who beamed at his mother. "You're also the only one who never threatens Johnny."

"I have no reason to believe that you will betray us." Castiel told her nonchalantly. "He is your son and he is an innocent until proven otherwise."

Lana nodded and then looked back to Castiel. "Thank you for that. Um…is there anything that I should know about Anna?"

"All you need to know is that the angels need her, and we need to find her before the demons do." Castiel explained and Lana nodded, Johnny nodding too, Castiel disappearing just like that, feeling like he'd stayed and talked to her for too long.

xxxx

Kate and Sam went straight to the Connor Beverly Behavioral Medicine Center to talk to the psychiatrist that was in charge of Anna's care and realized that she was special. It seemed that she'd been having 'delusions' of demons and seals and she was a link that they couldn't put together without help. She was connected to them all somehow and yet they didn't know why, so when Lana called as Kate flipped through the journal that Anna had kept and drawn in, Sam answered readily.

"Please tell me you have something—we're learning some crazy things right now." Sam said running his fingers through his hair.

Lana nodded slowly and closed her eyes. "Yeah…I also know that her parents are dead so there's no point in finding their bodies—I called the police anonymously. Dean and I have tracked down the church and we'd like to meet you and Kate there. Johnny wants out of the motel room as much as I do and I need to be there to talk to her."

"Is there something else going on here that I'm not aware of?" Sam asked Lana, taking a breath. "You have that tone in your voice like you're not telling us all everything."

"Probably because I'm not. Just…I'll give you the address." Lana explained and then gave Sam the address and he and Kate hurried to the church with the journal.

When they got there, Dean, Sam and Kate had their guns on them, Lana holding Johnny who was busy looking around to try and see what was happening. He knew that there was someone here who felt like others he'd met before, and Lana knew that the woman they had found on the top floor of the church with the red hair was going to cause some trouble. However she opened up her mouth before anyone could, Anna turning to her as hid behind the glass door they were nearing.

"Anna? Sweetheart, we're not going to hurt you…we're here to help." Lana explained, Kate sensing what she was doing and motioning for Sam and Dean to lower their weapons, which they did. "My name is Lana. This is Sam, Dean and Kate. We promise we're here to help."

Anna came out into the open. "Sam? Not Sam Winchester? Kate Newman?"

"Uh, yeah." Sam answered, all of them now face to face.

"And you're Dean? _The_ Dean?" She asked, excitement in her voice.

Dean looked a little happy too, like he had a fan. "Well, yeah. The Dean, I guess."

"It's really you! Oh, my God. The angels talk about you." Anna explained to them, coming up to them. "You were in Hell, but Castiel pulled you out, and some of them think you can help save us. And some of them don't like you at all." Anna told Sam, looking at him. "They talk on and on about Kate, and Lana…only a few of them like Lana…and this must be Johnny."

Lana swallowed and nodded, Dean and Kate exchanging looks as Lana decided to speak up again. She didn't like being ignored, she didn't like that Anna felt like she knew them all and had a grudge against her already, and she certainly didn't like that Johnny was no longer smiling now that Anna's attention was on him. His force field wasn't up and he didn't look upset, but he didn't look happy either.

"So you hear angels? Talk to them?" Lana asked Anna calmly.

Anna looked at her. "I just kind of…overhear them."

"Over hear them?" Sam repeated softly.

"How long have you been able to hear them?" Lana asked her.

"September 18th." Anna told her with a nod.

Dean nodded too. "The day I got out of Hell."

"First words I heard, clear as a bell: 'Dean Winchester is saved'." Anna explained.

"What do you think?" Dean asked Lana.

He was looking directly at her, knowing that out of all of them, this was more in Lana's area of expertise. She had been talking to Castiel _while_ Dean was in Hell, and she had been there to save him because Castiel had told her what he was doing before he did it. Now here was Anna Milton, a girl who could hear angels and Lana _also_ felt like she had felt this presence before…she felt familiar and yet…

"We need to hurry." Lana said suddenly as Johnny's force field went up around him and his mother. "Demons are coming…Ruby, and one I don't think I've met yet before."

Kate sighed loudly. "You know we could gank her with her own knife."

"Guys…" Sam pointed out, and they all looked over to see the statue of the Virgin Mary crying tears of blood.

"You're too late to warn us, Demon Skank." Kate said as Ruby appeared, Anna covering her face because she could also see what demons really looked like.

Ruby made a face at her. "This isn't my fault, it's yours. He's been following you since Anna's house."

"You guys take Anna and Johnny, and Dean and I have this." Lana explained, shooting Ruby a look as she opened up her mouth to talk to Sam. "Don't think I haven't thought about killing you, Ruby—Sam's not doing this."

"He could be ready for it." Ruby protested.

Lana shook her head. "I said, no."

Kate hurried off with Anna and Johnny, Lana turning to see the demon enter the room, Dean, Sam and Ruby next to her. Lana held up her hand to kill him, the demon stopping for a moment and feeling the effect, some black smoke coming out of his lungs but then it stopped—she didn't have the power no matter what she was. She wasn't feeling it and she wanted to know who the demon was…she wasn't into it like she should have been. She knew she had the power to kill him right then and there—so why wasn't she just taking the chance instead of being curious?

"Come on, Lana—you can kill me and yet you won't?" The demon asked, sending Sam and Dean and Ruby up against the walls. "I was looking for an actual showdown and yet…and yet I knew you'd freeze."

Lana smiled a little, rooted in place. "So you know who and what I am?"

"I know that had the demons gotten to Florence first, you'd be helping _us_ and not _them_." He explained, smiling a little. "You don't recognize me, do you?"

"Something about you is familiar." Lana admitted, keeping Sam and Dean and Ruby where they were for a moment while she had a talk with him. "The only reason you're still here is because I want answers from you, and you know that. So why don't you just fess up? I could kill demons _before _I unlocked my true powers…lets just make this quick."

The demon smiled at her a little more. "If I told you who I was, you'd kill me without hesitation, so why would I tell you?"

"Because we both know that you like games, or else you wouldn't be playing right now." Lana responded, a cheeky smile on her face. "Now tell me who you are."

"Since I'm going to die either way, I'm going to choose a different option." He responded and started to hurt Sam, Dean trying to stab him with the knife and realizing it didn't have the same affect.

"Oh, so you're a powerful demon." Lana said with a nod. "That would explain why it takes so much juice to send you packing…play my game…answer me."

The demon chuckled and nodded. "Your husband was my best friend in Hell."

"Alastair." Lana and Dean said at once.

Lana narrowed her eyes at him and Alastair started to crackle, lighting up his host body and Dean shook his head. He couldn't let his wife do this to herself—give in—and he was a little upset about Lana keeping him rooted with her powers even if only for a moment. So he ran towards her, Sam there too, Lana breaking concentration, Alastair pulling the knife out of him and watching as Lana, Sam and Dean jumped out the stained glass window and landed below.

xxxx

"Are you almost done?" Dean asked Sam as Sam stitched up his arm, Lana on the phone with Kate.

They had gotten themselves back to the motel, but Kate was with Ruby, Anna and Johnny somewhere else. Kate said she was making it safe with protection spells and what-not, but Lana was worried about her son, and worried that they were all together with Ruby. She, Dean and Sam were all pretty nicked up and though Lana could heal faster, she was pretty sore and she just wanted to get this over with.

"I'm going as fast as I can." Sam explained to him.

Dean nodded and grunted in pain. "Good, 'cause you know I got a dislocated shoulder over here."

"Baby, I'll pop it back in, in just a second." Lana told him, holding up her finger as Dean took a good swig of alcohol and then handed it to Sam, who poured it on his wound to disinfect it, Lana then hanging up the phone. "So we lost Ruby's knife, Johnny won't let Ruby near her, Anna trusts Kate over Ruby and Kate wants to have Ruby's head on a platter. Meanwhile, we're all here because _someone_ wouldn't let me waste the demon that's on my list of 'people to kill' and currently ranked number one. Yes, that's right, Alastair is right _above_ Lilith on that list. You heard that directly from the mouth of the freak that the demons and angels believe to be an anti-christ."

"At least they're safe." Dean tried, nodding when Lana came over to him and placed her hands on his arm.

"On three, okay?" Lana asked him. "One…"

Then without waiting anymore, Lana put Dean's shoulder back in its socket and kissed him when he closed his eyes. He moved his arm a little and put an icepack on it, knowing she meant well, but also knowing she was rather pissed at him, hence the quick, chaste kiss. There was a lot on her mind that she wanted to spill to Sam that she wasn't going to, and Dean knew he had set her off a little.

"He hurt you, Dean! He _hurt _you!" Lana told him shaking her head. "Why didn't you just let me kill him?"

Dean gave her a look as Sam looked over at them. "Are you two sure about Ruby?"

"Actually, I hate Ruby almost as much as Kate does, but for some reason I trust the dirty skank." Lana said with a sigh. "At least I trust her not to try anything while Kate is around—I don't trust _her _exactly, and I know Kate can take her."

"That she can." Sam said with a soft laugh. "Is there's one thing that Kate is sure of, it's that eventually Ruby will lead us astray, but that's probably just because she's protective of me."

"Of course she is!" Lana told him, sitting on the motel bed Sam wasn't sitting on. "She loves you more than she's ever loved anybody else and she's going to protect you with her life."

Sam nodded slowly. "Sometimes I wish that the pregnancy test you guys took was positive."

"Sammy…" Lana said slowly, shaking her head.

Dean looked at the two of them and took a deep breath, the realization hitting him as Sam looked embarrassed. He didn't know that in all the talking that Lana hadn't told Dean—in fact he thought that Dean was even more upset _because _she had wanted another baby when he was gone and now he was back and she didn't anymore…at least not out loud. The moment Lana's eyes changed though, Sam knew that he had spilled something that was for Lana to spill and he felt like a fool and he felt bad. Lana reached out and squeezed his hand though, letting him know she forgave him, and feeling like a weight had been lifted now that Dean knew.

"Wait a second…you thought you were pregnant when I was dead?" Dean asked her.

Lana nodded slowly. "Um…yeah."

"And you didn't tell me?" Dean asked, a hint of anger in his voice.

"I didn't really think it was that important." Lana responded, looking up to meet his eyes as he sat down next to her. "You look like you need some water. Water?"

"What's left in the bottle will do just fine." Dean replied slowly. "That's something I would have wanted to know."

Lana nodded and got up to pour Sam and Dean some alcohol. "Okay, how about this? Sam and I will tell you what happened, sound fair? Kate told me everything so I even have her said of the story…it all really starts with Ruby getting her new body because Sam and Kate made her find one that didn't have another person in it…so she picked a coma patient."

_Kate watched Sam sadly as he cleaned and put together some weapons, Lydia on a little mission of her own. Lydia didn't hunt, but she __**did**__ do things for small fees and right then it was just Kate and Sam until there was a knock on the cabin door. After splitting from Lana to do their own things and try to bring Sam back, they'd been finding whatever abandoned place they could move to next, and now Ruby have found them._

"_Proof," the new Ruby said showing Kate the document since she had answered the door, "this body is 100% socially conscious. I recycle. Al Gore would be proud."_

_Kate looked over the document. "You're in a coma patient?"_

"_You didn't want me to take a body with someone in it, and I made sure that the spirit was gone. Apartment was empty. You happy?" She asked her._

"_I'd be happier if you took your skanky ass somewhere else, honestly. This isn't a good time." Kate explained to her._

"_So you're not going to let me in and help you with your drunk boyfriend?" Ruby asked her._

_Kate nodded slowly, a smile on her face. "I really want to kill you."_

"_Ruby?" Sam asked, coming to the door with a rifle and a bottle of alcohol._

"_I suppose we can't let her freeze her ass off outside in her new skanky reject body?" Kate asked and sighed and opened up the door, Ruby waltzing right in. "Let's skip the speeches and get this over with. Sam says he's ready to train his powers and you seem to be the only one who can help do that—otherwise I wouldn't have played games and killed you already." Kate said, taking the bottle from Sam and setting it down on the table in between her and Ruby. "You just have to tell us what we have to do and once you've got the hang of teaching him, you can get your skanky ass far away from me so I'm not tempted to waste you once you've taught him all he needs to know."_

_Ruby looked at Kate. "Look, Lilith is one scary bitch. When I was in the pit, there was talk. She's cooking up something big…Apocalyptic big."_

"_So let's kill her." Sam said shrugging, the scent of alcohol hitting the air._

"_You want to go in there and half-ass it like before? We have the time to get it right. Let's get it right." Ruby explained to him, looking at Kate. "You can't just take him wherever a lead takes him."_

"_You…stay out of my fucking business." Kate warned her, pointing a finger in her face. "Teach him all you know."_

Lana laughed a little as she helped Sam to tell the story, Sam knowing how Kate had felt and how broken and helpless he had felt. No matter what he did or said to her, Kate always stuck by his side and tried to tell him that he was better than how he was acting. Then he looked up as Lana began to explain about how Sam was getting headaches and nose bleeds, but he was getting better at pulling out demons even though there was still a giant hole left in side of him, and that brought him to Kate and Lana finding out that they might be pregnant.

"_Kate, I need you." Lana explained, taking a deep breath._

_Kate nodded and explained that she needed Lana too, both of them heading into the bathroom and discussing things. It turned out that they were both late and they had both bought pregnancy tests, both of them pledging to take the tests together and then deal with the consequences as a family. They had been apart for a little while and Lana knew that Ruby was back and no matter what she said out loud, she wanted another baby—she wanted another piece of Dean._

"_It says it'll take three minutes." Kate explained as she read the back of the box. "Are you okay? Are you scared?"_

_Lana looked at her. "I don't know __**how**__ I feel, to be honest. What about you? I mean with all of this stuff with Ruby and Sam and all? Is he even quite completely sober yet?"_

"_He has his moments." Kate told her with a sad smile. "It's not always perfect and Dad's been sick, but…how is Johnny?"_

"_He misses his daddy but I know he's gonna get through it all." Lana replied smiling._

_Lana had gotten in the habit of faking smiles everywhere she went because everyone asked her how she was holding up. She felt like half of her was missing and no matter the amount of attention she paid to Johnny, Lana missed Dean and she couldn't help but wonder if she could get him out of this. There was more to her than met the eye—she knew that—but what exactly was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to get through all of this without him?_

"_I miss him too." Kate admitted, squeezing Lana's hand as the timer went off. "That's it."_

_Lana nodded and the two of them went for the pregnancy tests, both of them looking at each other before they were able to look at the tests. They needed that reassurance that everything was going to be okay no matter what happened and then they saw the results. The two of them look at the tests and then looked back at each other, letting the results sink in before they spoke._

"_I'm not pregnant." Kate said first._

_Lana nodded and wet her bottom lip. "Me neither."_

"_Well…that's a good thing." Kate said, offering a small smile that she was pretty sure even __**she**__ didn't believe._

"_Yeah…it's perfect." Lana responded, giving a half smile of her own._

_They weren't willing to admit it as they threw the tests away, but they were both a little crushed. The two of them had wanted that kind of change and yet they both knew it wasn't the time and they weren't ready for it. Kate was handling it better than Lana was though—the negative setting in made her realize that Dean was truly gone and that they were never going to be a family again._

"But we can be a family _now_." Dean told Lana as she finished explaining.

She smiled at him and stroked his cheek. "Not the point of this conversation, but thank you."

Lana kissed him gently and smiled a little when he kissed her back, Sam watching them both and smiling a little bit. He wanted so badly to have Kate with him right then, and so he needed to explain some more before they went to go and see Anna and Ruby and figure more of this out. So Sam continued, explaining why he and Kate had been so close and yet so far, and it helped Dean to understand exactly _why_ Kate hated Ruby so much.

_**4 Months Earlier in the Cabin**_

_Sam took some pills for her headache and drank them down with alcohol, Kate out back finishing burying the body of the man that didn't survive the demon being in him. Ruby looked at him and told him to give it some time and Sam really didn't appreciate the patronizing voice of hers and he didn't get why she was still there. Lydia didn't even like Ruby and right then it was just Ruby, Sam and Kate and he and Kate were at the point where they were starting to get better._

"_What? I need more practice?" Sam asked her._

_Ruby shook her head. "I'm not talking about pulling demons. I know losing Dean was—"_

"—_hey! I don't want to talk about it." Sam told her, knowing that if he hadn't talked to Kate about it, he sure as Hell wasn't talking to Ruby about it. "You know what? Where do you get off slapping me with that greeting-card, time-heals crap? What the Hell do you know?"_

"_I used to be human…and I still remember what it feels like to lose someone. I'm sorry." She told him, touching his face._

"_Nuh-uh," Sam told her, pushing her hand away. "Don't. I can't."_

"_Sam, you're not alone." She said softly._

"_Okay, it's done." Kate announced as she came back into the room just as Ruby made her move._

_Ruby kissed Sam, Kate's heart breaking even though the anger rising in her was more than the pain, but she left. She turned to leave just as Sam pushed Ruby off and went straight past her for Kate. It was Kate. It would always __**be**__ Kate. __**She**__ was the one that he loved and __**she**__ was the one that he was going to go after and Ruby wasn't going to get in the way of them…__**ever**__._

"_Kate!" Sam called after her, heading outside._

_Kate turned around to look at him, anger in her eyes. "If we didn't need her, I would kill her. Where does she get off doing that to you? And __**don't**__ try to kiss me right now, Sam Winchester—I don't want secondhand demon skank, okay?"_

"_We don't need her for this." Sam tried shaking his head, taking her hands in his. "We can figure out a way to do this without her."_

"_No we can't…we still need her." Kate said sadly. "I just…I need to take a walk, okay. I know you love me, and I know you won't let that happen again because I trust you. I just…I have to be away from her before I do something that I'm going to regret. And for the record? I love you too."_

_Sam nodded as Kate walked away and then he took a deep breath and went back inside the cabin. Ruby was standing in the same place she'd been when she blind-sighted him with the kiss, Sam shaking his head at her and pointing towards the front door._

"_Get out." Sam told her firmly._

Lana nodded and smiled at him, taking a breath and grasping Sam's hand, kissing it softly. He loved her cousin with all of his heart and it was obvious to Dean now that Kate hated Ruby because she really _was_ a skank. She was trying to get her way with Sam, but why? What was she up to and _why_ were Lana and Kate _letting_ it happen? He could tell that Lana was just happy that Kate had found someone to love her no matter what, and in turn found someone to love the same way…but what was Ruby up to?

"Kate and Sam actually weren't the only ones to go after Lilith, either. In fact Lilith and I had a chat about Johnny that wasn't very pleasant." Lana explained, taking another breath and looking at Dean. "Then again, Lilith and I will probably _never_ have pleasant run-ins."

_Lana smiled as she pushed Johnny gently in the swing at the park, both of them laughing, Johnny having a good time. Bobby was sitting on the bench near them with the stroller and the diaper bag, looking like a proud grandpa as he smiled and made small talk. Suddenly though, Lana's ears perked up and she looked past the swing, a tall blonde woman looking at her, her eyes going white for a moment._

"_Bobby…could you push him, please?" Lana asked him._

_Bobby looked a little confused. "Um…yeah, sure…"_

"_Thank you." Lana responded, and headed for the blonde as Bobby switched spots with her, Johnny's mood reduced but he still love his 'Grampa Bobby'._

"_Nice little family outing—someone's missing though." Lilith told her._

_Lana grabbed her by the arm and dragged her over under a tree, still visible by Bobby in case she needed assistance. She didn't understand why Lilith even had the gall to be there in the park when there were people and kids and yet Lilith was a demon. Lilith didn't care who she hurt or who got in the way as long as what __**she**__ wanted got done and Lana understood that loud and clear._

"_What are you doing here?" Lana asked her, shaking her head. "I can't kill you and you __**know**__ that."_

_Lilith smiled at her. "I was just sizing up my competition."_

"_Stay away from my son." Lana told her firmly. "I will do __**everything**__ in my power to protect him from you."_

"_I'm not worried about your little half-breed, Lana." Lilith told her, rolling the blonde's piercing green eyes. "__**You're**__ the one I'm interested in."_

_Lana swallowed and then just like that Lilith was gone and Lana turned to Bobby, making eye contact with him. They both knew who the demon had been and now that she was gone Johnny seemed a lot happier, but Lana didn't know what she had meant. Lilith was playing her like a fiddle and it seemed like everything Lana did to try and kill Lilith just seemed to work in Lilith's favor._

"I just assume that meant my powers." Lana explained with a soft shrug. "But that's really all there is to tell. We're with Ruby 'cause we have to be and she was there when she didn't have to be and now we're heading to the cabin because that's where they have Anna."

Dean nodded and they headed towards the cabin, Lana scooping Johnny up into her arms the second they got there. Lana went to check on Anna who seemed to like her a little bit more even though most of the angels wanted her gone, and Ruby seemed to know that she wasn't wanted, but Kate wasn't talking to her—she wasn't even being _mean_ to her. In fact she seemed to actually just be trying to hatch out a plan, and that was really all that she needed to do right then…Ruby wasn't even part of her equation.

"Hey, Sam, you think it'd be safe to make a quick call, just to tell my parents I'm okay?" Anna asked suddenly. "They must be completely freaked."

Lana swallowed slowly. "Um…there isn't an easy way to say this, Anna…"

"No, they're not…" Anna said, but then she started to cry when Lana looked so sad about giving her the hard news. "Why is this happening to me?"

"I don't know." Sam told her sincerely.

"They're coming." Anna and Lana said at once, the lights starting to flicker.

Dean nodded and then pointed towards the back. "Back room."

"No, Dean, it's okay…this isn't demons." Lana explained, Kate taking Anna into the back room because just in case she needed protecting. "Besides, even if it was demons it would be up to me seeing as how we lost Ruby's knife to Alastair, remember?"

Ruby looked at them all like they were incredibly stupid and shook her head as the door flew open. Lana smiled a little when Castiel and Uriel entered and Ruby's eyes went black, Sam and Dean just standing there wondering what would happen next. Anna was safe with Kate and they knew that, but just in case, they would have liked her there in the room to have their back.

"Please tell me you're here to help." Dean said finally as everyone looked at each other, surprised that Johnny didn't have his force field up even though Uriel was there. "We've been having demon issues all day."

"Well, I can see that." Uriel said with a nod, Ruby's eyes becoming normal again. "You want to explain why you have that stain in the room."

Castiel cut in. "We're here for Anna."

"It took you long enough to get here." Lana told them, but the look on their faces made her second guess what she was doing. "You're…you're here to help her, right? I saved her like you asked for a good cause…right?"

"Stop talking." Uriel told her, as everyone looked at her, completely unaware of her talk with Castiel before. "Give her to us."

Sam took a deep breath. "Are you gonna help her?"

"No," Castiel answered firmly. "She has to die."

**Notes: There it is and hopefully I'll be having a chapter up every day. We'll see what happens, but that's my goal to be honest. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	79. Angels, Demons and Powers, Oh My

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter is also in third person, but only for the beginning and then it goes back into first person and changes POVs—just a heads up.**

**A lot changes in this chapter, and yet a lot stays the same and there's a little fluff, a tiny bit of sap, and some angst.**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

"Whoa, whoa, whoa—no." Lana told them, tensing up because she didn't like the idea of handing over an innocent girl to her death. "You told me to find her so that you could _kill_ her? I'm not going to just hand her over to you so she can die. I don't see how _that_ constitutes as me being on your side—she's an innocent girl!"

Castiel stepped in. "She is far from innocent."

"Then explain to me what it is that she has done!" Lana exclaimed loudly.

"We don't answer to you, half-breed." Uriel told her firmly and then he smirked a little. "Don't worry, Lana…I'll kill her gentle."

"You're some heartless sons of bitches, you know that?" Dean asked, stepping in no matter the anger towards his wife that he felt.

He didn't understand why it hadn't come up in the heart to heart that Lana had known to look for Anna because of Castiel and Uriel. Dean was certain that it was one of the things that she was hiding from him that she was going to tell him, but he had heard the conversation between Lana and Castiel to confirm it all and not just directly from _Lana's_ mouth. Now she was standing up for Anna even though Dean knew she was wary of her, and Dean just didn't get why _angels_ were going to kill a girl who just seemed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"There is another way." Lana said as Uriel looked at Dean with disdain. "Just tell me another way to do this and I'll cooperate."

Uriel looked at Lana. "Who's gonna stop us? You three? Or this demon whore?"

"If Kate was here she'd decide she likes you for that, but come on…what has she done? What is so bad that she has to die?" Lana asked, shaking her head as Uriel went to throw them out of his way.

"So now you have the balls to use your powers against me?" Uriel asked her. "I don't really think that's a smart idea, Lana."

"Why?" Lana asked him. "Because you'll threaten my son again?"

Before she knew what was happening, Uriel had thrown Ruby up against a wall and went for Dean, punching him in the face. Lana stopped Uriel after the first punch and looked over as Castiel placed his fingers to Sam's forehead, Sam passing out on the floor. Just as he reached for the handle, a bright light appeared and suddenly Uriel and Castiel were gone and I had a headache.

"What in the…" Lana trailed off, hurrying for the door and opening it up.

There was a symbol painted in blood, Kate rocking Johnny as he cried, Anna sitting at a table, blood on it and the mirror. She had banished them somehow but she didn't know how herself, and Lana was starting to feel like this environment was a little _too _dangerous for Johnny, no matter _what_ he was used to at this point. She also knew that leaving Kate with Anna and Ruby for too long was a mistake, so she left Ruby to guard Anna while she talked to Sam and Dean, letting Kate tag along, Johnny finally sleeping in Lana's arms even though he was a little afraid of what was happening around him.

"So, what do you think?" Dean asked them all as they congregated in the main room.

Sam shrugged a little, raising his eyebrows in thought. "I think Anna's getting more interesting by the second."

"Yeah, I agree. And what did they mean by 'she's not innocent'?" Dean asked aloud.

"I think that this is all a _lot_ more complicated than first glance and we're once again in the middle of it all." Kate responded and then looked at Lana. "What's with this secrecy with Cas? You have any two cents to put in?"

"My breasts are sore." Lana replied, stating a fact and trying to lighten the mood.

Dean cracked a smile because he knew what she was doing, but at the same time he thought that Kate's question deserved an answer. Sam wanted to know just as badly why Lana was in cahoots with the angels, and why she found it necessary to keep her allegiance with them a secret. The three just assumed that by now Lana would understand that they trusted her judgment…that they stood by her.

"I feel like I owe Cas for standing by me when Dean was dead, all right? It was wrong to keep it from you guys, but he asked me to bring him Anna and I was going to. Now I'm not so sure because it isn't right, you know? At the same time part of me thinks it isn't _our_ decision." Lana explained, closing her eyes and shaking her head, cradling Johnny as she napped. "Our top priority is finding someone to help us, all right? Bobby gave me a list of people to contact if I ever needed anything before I moved in with him."

Dean nodded slowly. "I think that's a good place to start."

Lana smiled a little and nodded, looking through the list on her phone and deciding that Pamela was the best person to call. She would be able to help Anna to remember things given that she was a psychic, and Lana had met her once when Dean was dead. She'd come over to pay her respects and to talk to Lana out of a favor to Bobby, and Lana had been grateful and was in need of her services again.

Lana looked at Dean after getting off of the phone with Pamela. "She's a handful and she'll prolly hit on you two since Bobby isn't around, but I swear to God, Dean—"

"—I _won't_ hit on her back." Dean told her simply, kissing her softly as Anna and Ruby came into the room. "I thought you were supposed to keep an eye on her."

"She's being watched." Ruby responded with a shrug.

Kate sighed loudly. "You can't trust Ruby to do _anything_, but at the same time it doesn't matter—let Anna walk around. She's not going anywhere when we're the only ones around to protect her."

"I find it strange that the angels have such nice things to say about Kate and yet…" Anna said and she trailed off.

"I'm half demon. No doubt I'm not crazy ugly, but I do have a strange face, right?" Lana asked her, nodding as Anna did. "They're afraid of my power and my allegiance, but I assure you that I'm on the right side."

Lana handed the sleeping Johnny over to Dean and tried to piece together the 'Anna-puzzle' in her head. Her file said that from two and a half, Anna was convinced that her father, Rich Milton, wasn't her real father at all and it worried her mother, Amy Milton. At two, Anna kept saying that her real father was mad and he was going to kill her and here Castiel and Uriel were, looking to kill her. What did that mean? Was Anna really crazy, or did she just have repressed memories? Did she feel like Castiel because she was somehow…_angelic_?

"Pamela is meeting us at Bobby's soon and she'll help you to remember." Lana explained calmly, smiling at Anna a little. "The angels seem to think that you're guilty of something and they want you dead, but we don't know what that is…we're assuming you don't know either given the state of things."

Anna shook her head. "I honestly don't know why all of this is happening to me."

Lana nodded and offered her a smile, all of them picking up and heading to Bobby's to meet up with Pamela. Bobby was in the Dominican working a job and even with all the extra research, they didn't know what to do and they simply made sure the panic room was open for business. They wanted to keep Anna in there so that she'd be safe from demons _and_ angels, and so far everything seemed to be all right.

"She has a thing for you." Lana told Dean as she flipped through a spell book, Dean holding Johnny on his lap. "You're like her hero or something."

Dean rolled his eyes and looked at Lana, a smile on his face. "You sound jealous."

"I'm not jealous…I'm just letting you know that she has a thing for you." Lana replied shrugging her shoulders. "She's worried for you, too."

"She doesn't know anything about you, Lanni." Dean assured her, reaching out and taking her hand in his. "I'm the safest right here with you."

Lana smiled a little. "Way to be sappy…but thank you for that."

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

I was actually kind of enjoying being able to bicker with Ruby, but I was trying to keep the bickering to a minimum because I wasn't trying to make Anna uncomfortable. At the same time I didn't really care if she knew I hated Ruby because to be honest, I only trusted her because _Sam_ did. I was always right there with him when she was because I didn't trust her and the second she stepped out of line, I was going to _end_ her.

"They saying anything useful?" I asked Anna slowly.

Anna shook her head. "It's quiet. Dead silence."

"They must not want us to know what's happening then." I replied with a small nod. "They know you're with us, and they want to find you but they can't tip us off if they get a lead, which they probably won't with Lana calling shots."

"She _does_ seem to be one of the main leaders around here who has a plan in mind." Anna said with a small nod. "She's so powerful…so dangerous…and bringing a kid around to hunt…it has to be hard for her."

I nodded at that. "She hates herself a lot of the time but she has a job to do and she can't leave Johnny unattended when so many demons want him."

"The angels aren't fond of Johnny either…I always thought angels were more…forgiving." Anna explained slowly.

I smiled at her a moment and nodded, taking a deep breath and then deciding not to even explain anymore. Johnny was a complicated topic and to know that Lana was following the angels almost blindly when there was a hidden agenda made me a little weary. On top of that I really wanted to know why the angels wanted Anna dead…why the demons wanted her. Was she _also_ some kind of hidden agenda? Did she remember more than what she said she remembered?

I excused myself from the room and told Ruby to keep an eye on her, not wanting to leave her alone, but wanting to be near Sam. He always seemed to have a way to reassure me about things and I needed now more than ever for someone to just stroke my hair and tell me that everything was going to be fine. There was a knock on the door, however, and I answered it since I was closest to the door, smiling a little at the brunette in front of me.

"You must be Pamela." I told her, holding out my hand. "Kate Newman."

Pamela smiled at me. "So you're Lana's cousin, eh? I've heard a lot about you."

"Pamela!" Lana exclaimed, hurrying towards her and embracing her. "I'm so glad that you're here!"

"Well of course I'm here for you, Lana." Pamela told her, hugging her back and then laughing a little when she caught site of Dean and Sam, Dean holding Johnny who smiled at Pamela too. "You snagged yourself one hot husband, if I do say so myself."

Lana laughed and rolled her eyes playfully as she pulled out of the hug. "Hands off, Pam…he's mine—Sam's only engaged though."

"Lana!" I chastised, hitting her in the arm. "You're insatiable."

Lana shrugged and then we all headed into the panic room, Anna and Pamela getting acquainted before Anna lied down on the bed in the panic room. Pamela needed to put her into a state of deep hypnosis and we all wanted to know sooner rather than later what we were really up against. The angels wanted Anna for a reason and this was the only way we knew to get the answers to our questions.

"Nice and relaxed…now, I'm going to count down from five to zero. When we're at zero, you'll be in a deep state of hypnosis. As I count down, just go deeper and deeper, okay? 5…4…3…2…1…deep sleep. Deep sleep. Every muscle calm and relaxed." Pamela instructed Anna. "Can you hear me?"

Anna opened her mouth, her eyes closed. "I can hear you."

"Now, Anna, tell me…how can you hear the angels? How did you work that spell?" Pamela asked her.

"I don't know. I just did." Anna responded.

"Your father…what's his name?" Pamela probed as we all gathered around, trying to be as silent as possible.

"Rich Milton." Anna replied.

I ran my fingers through my hair wishing I wasn't feeling like this was going to get us nowhere, but how else was I supposed to feel? There was no way for us to know for certain if this was going to work and even if it did, what if being in Anna's company was worse than the alternative? What if we really should have just handed her over to the angels and let them do what they thought was best? Who were we to question them?

"All right, but I want you to look further back. When you were very young…just a couple of years old." Pamela explained to her.

Anna shook her head. "I don't wanna."

"It'll be okay, Anna, just one look. That's all we need." Pamela told her calmly.

"No." Anna replied.

"What's your dad's name? Your real dad," Pamela insisted, Anna starting to fidget. "Why is he angry at you?"

"No. No!" Anna replied, starting to thrash a little. "No. No!"

Pamela looked at her. "Calm down."

"He's gonna kill me!" Anna yelled in anguish, writhing around.

"Anna, you're safe." Pamela insisted and then suddenly the panic room door shut by itself and the bulbs started exploding. "Calm down, Anna."

Anna writhed some more. "He's gonna kill me!"

"It's all right, Anna. Anna? Dean, don't." Pamela warned him as he went to go up to Anna and Anna hit Dean so hard that was sent a ways across the room. "Wake in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5." Pamela said finally, and everything began to die down a bit, Johnny's reactive force field down and Lana looking worried. "Anna…Anna…you all right?"

Anna nodded slowly. "Thank you, Pamela. That helped a lot. I remember now."

It seemed as if _everyone_ had calmed down and Anna was speaking with a new confidence and authority. Whatever Pamela had done had worked and now it was time for everyone to find out if this had all been some kind of terrible decision or not. Anna knew who she was and she knew why the angels wanted her dead and it was only a matter of time before Castiel and Uriel found them all again. For a moment Lana wondered if maybe Ruby was the lesser of two evils because to be fair, at least she trusted _Ruby_ to betray them and ruin lives. Lana made eye contact with Anna, both of them understanding right then and there that Lana knew what Anna was, and she was debating what she was going to do now.

"Remember what?" Sam asked her.

Anna looked at him. "Who I am."

"I'll bite." Dean responded nodding. "Who are you?"

"She's an angel." Lana said aloud before Anna could, but the nod Anna gave her confirmed Lana's information.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"Let's move this to the library and chat more about it." I offered, heading out the door with Johnny in my arms.

Everyone seemed to agree with me and so we all went into Bobby's library, Johnny playing in his playpen, Anna standing with Ruby by the door as everyone else took a seat except me. I looked over at Anna and found myself feeling like I had almost known all along and wondering what it was that she had done to make the other angels mad. There obviously _had_ to be a reason as to _why_ Castiel wanted her dead…because as much as I trusted him and wanted to do as he said, I couldn't just hand Anna over to be executed because that just wasn't me.

"Don't be afraid. I'm not like the others." Anna informed Ruby once everyone was settled in.

Kate sighed loudly. "Damn…I was hoping someone would call her a stain and go for her throat."

"Cute as the jealous hostility is, we have bigger issues at hand." I told Kate, a small smile on my face as Kate and Ruby glared at each other. "Anna…why do Cas and Uriel want you dead?"

"I used to be their boss." Anna explained, making eye contact with me. "They want to kill me because orders are orders. I have a death sentence on my head because I disobeyed…which, for us, is about the worst thing you can do. I fell."

I nodded slowly. "So you disobeyed and then you feel to Earth and became…human? How exactly does that work?"

"It kind of hurts—try cutting your kidney out with a butter knife…_that_ kind of hurt. I ripped out my grace." Anna explained to us.

"What second….you ripped out your _own_ grace?" I asked her.

"Yeah…hacked it out and fell. My mother, Amy, couldn't get pregnant—always called me her little miracle. She had no idea how right she was." Anna said with a small nod.

"So, you just forgot that you were God's little Power Ranger?" Dean asked her.

All of sudden her attention was all focused on Dean and even though I knew she was just showing him she was engaged in the conversation, I was jealous. She'd been eying him since he had arrived and her obvious interest in him hadn't waivered since she had gotten her memories back, which didn't make me feel any better. She was obviously one of the angels that was set against me, and if she in _any_ way got in the way of my family she could consider herself handed over.

"The older I got, the longer I was human, yeah." Anna replied nodding.

Ruby nodded and threw her hand up into the air. "I don't think you all appreciate how completely screwed we are."

"Ruby's right…Heaven wants me dead." Anna agreed nodding.

"And Hell just wants her." Ruby added, clearly frustrated by all of it. "A flesh-and-blood angel that you can question and torture that bleeds. Sister, you're the Stanley cup. And sooner or later, Heaven or Hell, they're gonna find you."

"I know…and that's why I'm gonna get it back." Anna explained nodding some more.

"What?" Sam exclaimed, all of us a little confused.

Anna looked at him. "My grace."

"Wait a minute…why should we let you do this?" I asked her.

Everyone looked at me and I knew they were going to bring something up about how this wasn't really my decision but honestly what was the big picture here? Anna had disobeyed Heaven and she was supposed to be sentenced and with all of the doubt floating around the room, I didn't know what to do. I trusted Castiel more than I trusted any other angel and if he said that Anna wasn't innocent, then she wasn't innocent—we hadn't gotten any real answers.

"Look, I know that right now I sound like a heartless bitch, but I have a family to consider." I explained in the momentary silence. "We don't know exactly what she did to disobey, and to be fair I don't think that this is our call because without knowing what she did to piss of _Heaven_ and _the angels_ and _God_…I just don't know what to do."

Dean looked at me. "No matter what we do, we can't give them license to kill her."

"Who are we to question Heaven?" I asked back.

"Anna's living proof that it happens." Dean replied with a shrug. "I get that you have your faith, but obviously—"

"—you don't know what happened either, Dean." I told him, trying not to lose my patience. "I'm not trying to be the Big Bad here, but I don't know what she did and she isn't talking. For all I know, there's just reason to fry her ass. Yes, innocent until proven guilty, but most people do bad things to get bounties on their heads. Some people were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but she _admitted_ to disobeying."

Dean took a breath. "We disobeyed when we wouldn't let Castiel and Uriel nuke Lawrence."

"That was different, Dean, and you _know_ it—that was a test for you and for me." I reminded him. "I can't trust her when I have Johnny to look after."

"Oh, so I'm not looking after him now?" Dean asked me, visibly more anger than before. "Lana, we're _not_ condemning her to death. She deserves a fighting chance and that's the end of the discussion."

Dean looked at me like his word was final and I just nodded and went out of the room without even looking at Anna. Kate looked like she wanted to start some mayhem and as much as I got that, I knew that I had to handle this on my own and maybe I _was_ out of line. Maybe I was looking at this all wrong because I felt like something was going to go incredibly wrong like normal. All I knew was that I had stepped out of line back there, angered my husband, and now Anna thought I was even more heartless than she probably thought before.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

After Anna explained to us that her falling from Heaven would look like a meteor to the naked eye, we all split up. Lana was on a walk trying to figure out what to do, Pamela went back home, Anna went outside to think, Dean put Johnny in his crib to sleep and smiled as the force field went up, and then Sam and I stayed in the library with Ruby to research. We were onto something and I loved how Sam's fingers were sliding through my hair, but I was kind of sick and tired of Ruby being there.

"In March '85, a meteorite vanished in the night sky over northwestern Ohio. It was sighted nine months before Anna was born, and she was born in that part of Ohio." Sam explained looking over his laptop.

Ruby smiled at him. "You're pretty buff for a nerd."

"It has to be Anna." I said, biting back an insult. "Same time there was another meteor over Kentucky that could have been her grace. It doesn't narrow down anything, but it's a start and judging by how Dean wants to handle things, its our _only_ lead."

"I was expecting you to say something mean." Ruby told me.

I smiled at her. "For Sammy's sake I'm playing nice."

"Well that's new for you." Ruby responded, that fake smile on her face—I wanted to punch it off.

"Don't push your luck." I said, looking at Sam as he rested his hand on my knee. "Sorry, Sammy, I just…I hated her _before_ she went and kissed you and now I try my hardest _every day_ to _not_ kill her where she stands."

"I know," Sam responded, kissing me softly. "Just take deep breaths."

Ruby rolled her eyes at our displays of affection and for a moment I actually couldn't care less. Sam was making it so clear to me that he didn't have eyes for anyone but me, and I knew that he wouldn't have asked me to marry him if he didn't love me, so why was I so worried? Him getting in touch with his psychic powers wasn't going to make him leave me…it wasn't going to make him take Ruby's word over mine so why was I freaking like an unattractive female character in a chick flick?

"For the record, you guys do _not _want to get between these two armies. It's Godzilla and Mothra. If one side doesn't get us, the other one will." Ruby explained to us.

I nodded slowly. "That's about what it seems like to me and we're all split on what we want to do."

"So, what do you want to do, Ruby? Dump Anna and run?" Sam asked and when Ruby and I both seemed to be in agreement with that, Sam shook his head. "Forget it. Look, I know the angels freak you out."

"Forget the angels—it's Alastair I'm scared of." Ruby informed him.

"That demon that Lana says hurt Dean?" Sam asked slowly, me taking in the information since I hadn't actually gotten to meet this demon due to babysitting Anna.

Ruby nodded slowly. "Sounds like Lana knows a lot more about Hell than most people. You know what you should do, Sam? You should pull him out and throw him back in the pit…if you weren't so out of shape."

"Ruby…" Sam told her shaking his head.

"No," she replied shaking her head. "Your abilities…you're getting flabby."

"Yeah, so how do I tone up?" He asked her.

She gave him a look. "You know how. You know what you got to do."

"No, I'm not doing that anymore." Sam reminded her, shaking his head in defiance.

"Sam…" Ruby told him.

"Back off." I responded automatically. "He said he wasn't doing it anymore and to be completely and utterly fair about this, Lana wants his head on a silver platter so maybe you should talk to _her_ about it instead."

Ruby nodded slowly. "Well it needs to be her or else you better pray that Anna gets her groove back, or we're all dead."

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I really couldn't understand why Lana was so upset about Anna when normally she was the first person to try and save the innocents we ran across in our job. Anna had every right to be able to fight back even though Lana had a point—Anna hadn't told us _what_ she had done. As far as I was concerned, the angels weren't always right—they had a habit of deciding to nuke towns just because a seal was getting broken…important or not.

Lana had gone on a walk without me and once Johnny was down, I went out amongst the wrecked cars that Bobby had out back and saw Anna leaning on one. I knew that Sam was in good hands with Kate and Ruby even though I still didn't trust Ruby and I wished that Kate wouldn't let Sam make choices like using his powers. So I walked up to Anna as she stood there in silence looking up at the stars.

"Pamela get home okay?" Anna asked me, knowing I was there.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…she got home just fine. She says she's sorry, but this is just too rich for her blood."

"I don't blame her. You guys should do the same." Anna informed me.

"Well, we're not that smart." I told her with a small smile.

"Lana seems to think I deserve whatever is coming to me." Anna said with a nod.

I took a deep breath and nodded slowly too, planting myself right beside her and leaning on the random car she'd chosen in the lot as well. She glanced at me and I looked directly at my feet, not wanting to make eye contact because there were things that I wanted to ask her. I still needed to know why the angels had pulled my as out of Hell, and I wanted to know why they were upset with Lana and Johnny when Lana was fighting on our side and Johnny was still an innocent.

"Lana's worried about Johnny." I explained to her. "She's incredibly full of faith, she wants to know the answers to all of her questions, and Castiel has made his way into her circle of trust and once you get there for Lanni, it's hard to change her mind."

Anna nodded slowly. "Well what do _you _think?"

"You were in there." I reminded her, remembering Lana walking out of the house. "Can I ask you something? What do they want me for? Why did they save me?"

"I'm sorry. The angels aren't talking about it…and it was after I fell." Anna informed me, shrugging a little.

"That's another question I have—why did you fall? Lana asked and you never answered." I told her, incredibly curious and hoping I was in fact making the right decision here. "Why would you want to be one of us?"

Anna looked at me again. "You don't mean that."

"I don't?" I asked her, looking at her for the first time since stepping out to talk to her. "A bunch of…of miserable bastards. I mean, eating, crapping, confused, afraid."

"I don't know." Anna shrugged. "There is loyalty…forgiveness…love."

Years ago I would have just jumped right into a list of all of the bad and I would still, but for a second I had to stop. She was right about one thing—there was love. I didn't know where I would be without Lana and her love for me and sometimes I felt like without her love I'd be able to protect her better…without my love for her, I'd be able to let her go so she could have a better. All I seemed to do was bring her pain and I wanted to be a better man for her…I couldn't be that man while I was a hunter.

"Pain." I admitted to her.

She nodded. "Chocolate cake."

"Guilt."

"Sex."

"Yeah, you got me there." I replied with a nod and a smirk.

"I mean it." Anna told me seriously. "Every emotion, Dean, even the bad ones…it's why I fell. It's why…why I'd give anything not to have to go back. _Anything_."

I nodded slowly at that. "Feelings are overrated, if you ask me. They make us all think way too much about everything."

"Beats being an angel." Anna replied almost immediately.

"How's that possible? You guys are powerful and perfect. You don't doubt yourselves or God or anything." I told her.

From what I had heard from Lana, it seemed to me like avenging angels or not, angels had it good. They were able to converse with God and see Heaven and I had always thought that guardians angels were a thing to believe in…even if I never admitted it. Thinking about angels watching over me made me feel like I was close to my mother even though I'd never actually believed in the angels themselves.

"Perfect…like a marble statue. Cold…no choice…only obedience. Dean, do you know how many angels have actually seen God? Seen his face?" Anna asked me.

I looked at her. "All of you?"

"Four angels. Four…and I'm not one of them." Anna told me shaking her head.

"That's it?" I asked her, rather skeptical. "Well, then how do you even know that there is a God?"

"We have to take it on faith…which we're killed if we don't have." Anna said with a nod.

I nodded slowly. "Huh."

"I was stationed on Earth 2,000 years. Just…watching…silent…invisible…out on the road…sick for home…waiting on orders from an unknowable father I can't begin to understand. So don't tell me that…"

She trailed off as I began to laugh, feeling like what she was saying was all too close to home. All I had ever done was following my dad's _every_ order and I never challenged him on anything…not unless Sam was there to challenge him. Come to think of it, I never had the courage to stand up to him unless Sam had my back—normally I just took Dad's side because I felt like I owed him that much.

"What is so funny?" Anna asked me, a small smile on her face. "What?"

I glanced at her. "Nothing. Sorry. It's just…I can relate."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I honestly didn't know what was wrong with me, but the second I saw Dean and Anna talking and laughing I felt jealousy in my stomach. Anna seemed like someone that Dean could talk to and relate to, and she knew more about Hell and about what Dean had seen than I did…so he could confide in her like he couldn't seem to confide in me. It just felt to me like he was slipping away more and more and that I wasn't right for this task that Castiel had sent me on…my emotions were in the way.

"We found something." Sam said as he came up to me, looking at Dean and Anna and then squeezing my shoulder. "I'll bring them in if you want."

I smiled at him and shook my head, squeezing his hand. "No, it's okay—I got this. I can tone down the jealousy, I promise."

Sam nodded at that and then I raised my voice a little so they could hear me, keeping it level and calm. Anna and Dean turned to me and I saw Anna glance at Dean, Dean making his way over to me when I said that Sam and Kate had found something with Ruby. First thing he did was ask me how my walk was and when I said it was good he nodded and headed into the house, leaving me to look at Anna.

"So you're siding with them now?" Anna asked me.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…they're right—you don't deserve to die. I don't know what you did or why you did it, but no one deserves to die…even though God gave them the order and what he says is supposed to go, isn't it?"

"The answer to that is long and complicated, Lana." Anna informed me.

I wanted to ask more, but instead the two of us went into the house and Sam and Kate began to explain about how there was a miracle tree in Kentucky that looked centuries old but grew in six months. We all decided it was Anna's grace and so the next morning we were headed for Kentucky…but we needed to sleep first. So I showed everyone to the guest rooms and then took Dean into the room Bobby had fashioned up for me, the baby monitor in my hand.

Dean told me about his talk with Anna and I listened as I changed into my pajamas, looking at him as he crawled into the bed, still talking. It touched me that he already felt a kinship to her, but it also hurt me a little more to feel like the more I learned about her, the more I felt like maybe she was more fit for Dean than I was. She had more knowledge, she seemed to make him feel comfortable when he talked to her, and she was a big fan of emotions.

"I just feel like we have to save her, you know?" Dean asked me as I put lotion on my arms, standing by the foot of the bed. "She was forced into all of this by her family and she just wants a way out because it isn't what she wants. To wants to pave a whole different life for herself and for that she needs help. She kind of…she kind of reminds me of my mother…and I couldn't save my mother."

I looked at him and chewed on my lip. "Well that doesn't make me feel better at all."

"What?" Dean asked me, looking up at me.

"She's not your mother, Dean." I told him and he gave me a look that made me explain myself immediately. "What I mean is that it's not your job to save her and she isn't some kind of saint. Yes, I get that she wants to start over and you obviously have _not_ problems talking to her, but…we're just…wow, I sound like a jealous bitch."

"A little…" Dean said slowly.

I shook my head and closed my eyes. "I'm sorry, I just…apparently I hate her so much and I'm so jealous because we have a lot in common. You told me, _I_ was like your mother once, remember? It was one of the main reasons you decided to try and date me…act on your feelings towards me."

"Lanni," Dean said, pulling me close as I climbed into the bed with him, "baby, you're mine, all right? Nothing is ever going to change that…especially not Anna. Yeah, she's an angel, and yeah she knows answers to some of my questions that you don't, but she's not _you_."

"I know…and I know you mean that, I just…I'm obviously a jealous bitch." I responded, shaking my head, snuggling under the covers and into my husband.

Dean shook his head. "No you're not. I mean let's face it…it's not like you don't have justified reasons _not_ to trust me."

I tilted my head to look at him, resting my head on his shoulder instead of his chest as he ran his fingers through my hair. He avoided eye contact as I ran my fingers along his pecks through his grey t-shirt and I kissed his chin before returning to my position of looking at him. No matter how upset and broken I had felt about the almost cheating, I had put it mostly behind me because I _knew_ that he loved me…I knew that he'd do _anything_ for me…so why bring it up now?

"Dean," I said finally, "look at me."

Dean slowly turned his head to make eye contact with me. "What?"

"I trust you, okay?" I told him, kissing him gently, smiling a little when he returned the kiss. "I just don't trust her. I'm sorry that I don't too. She hasn't given me a reason not to, I just…I trust, Cas, okay?"

"Yeah," he responded, initiating a kiss, "I know…and I respect that."

xxxx

When I went into the kitchen and saw Castiel leaning against the counter, I took a deep breath. I had a feeling that I was in a dream because things felt a little weird, and I smiled at him because I felt safe with him. I knew that he wanted something from me and I wasn't going to give it to him, but at the same time I knew that I owed him for getting me through all of those tough months…I was _always_ going to feel like I owed him.

"So you guys still haven't found us?" I asked him calmly, leaning on the counter as well.

Castiel shook his head. "You've hidden yourselves rather well."

"Dean and Sam are convinced that Anna deserves a chance." I explained to him. "Personally I agree with them, no matter how much I don't care for her."

"Lana…this is a bad decision you're making here." Castiel told me slowly. "You're supposed to be proving to us that you're on our side."

I looked at him and nodded, knowing that had Uriel come to me he would have just threatened me and bluffed his way through it. Castiel already knew me enough to know that he didn't have to threaten me, but at the same time he had to remind of what could happen. He would never hurt me just to hurt me…I didn't know how I knew that, but I knew that unless directly ordered, Castiel would never harm me _or_ Johnny.

"I know that, and I _am _on your side, but I just can't." I told him shaking my head. "Didn't _you_ tell Dean that you were supposed to follow _his_ orders? Dean doesn't think this is fair and I'm not going to go behind his back and do something different just because I don't trust Anna."

Castiel nodded slowly. "This is something far too important to be put into Dean's hands. We can't let the demons get a hold of Anna and what she knows."

"I figured as much…I also figure you're 'Good Cop'." I told him, smiling when he didn't get the reference. "It means you're the one being calm and logical whereas Uriel threatens and berates."

"If you change your mind, Lana, you know how to contact me." Castiel explained and then we made eye contact. "Uriel won't think this is over."

"I'd be surprised if he did." I told him with a smile.

xxxx

The following morning we headed to go and find the oak that had sprouted from Anna's grace, but instead we found that her grace had been taken. Someone had stolen it and we needed to find out who, all of us heading back to the cabin. There was only so much that we could do, and I was happy I'd get to perhaps talk to Anna and apologize for being slightly abrasive before.

"We still got the hex bags." Dean told us all. "I say we head back to the panic room."

Ruby looked at him skeptically. "What, forever?"

"I'm just thinking out loud!" He replied angrily.

"Oh, you call that thinking?" Ruby asked him, giving him a look.

"Hey!" Sam said intervening. "Hey, hey, hey…stop it."

Ruby gave him a look and I shook my head, knowing that fighting would ensue and I really didn't want it to. There was just nothing that I could do to make this better and yet that was _all_ I wanted to do—makes this all better. We were in the middle of a demon and angel war and I didn't know why, and I didn't know how to make it stop.

"Anna's grace is gone. You understand? She can't angel up. She can't protect us. We can't fight Heaven and Hell. One side maybe, but not both. Not at once." Ruby said and then she looked directly at me. "You're our only hope now."

"Um…guys?" Anna said suddenly. "The angels are talking again."

Sam looked at her. "What are they saying?"

"It's weird…like a recording…a loop. It says, 'Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight, or'…" Anna trailed off.

"Or what?" Dean asked in the pause.

She looked at him. "'Or we hurl him back to damnation'."

We all just looked at her for a moment and then suddenly Sam started to talk about weapons that could potentially kill angels. Anna didn't seem to know any and the plan was to call Bobby, but to me it seemed like there was only one solution—hand Anna over like Castiel had told me to in the first place. I couldn't let Dean go back to Hell and I knew he didn't want to go back either, but he was a better person than me…he was willing to help Anna no matter what the consequences were.

"We've got to think of something!" Dean said shrugging.

I nodded slowly and everyone split up, everyone doing various things in the next couple of hours before it started to get dark again. I put Johnny down to sleep when Sam and Kate ran off to have their alone time, and then I realized Anna and I were along in the library. Dean was upstairs checking on Johnny and searching my extra duffle with books in it for a particular book of ancient spells, and I _had_ to talk to her.

"I don't hate you, okay?" I told her.

Anna looked at me. "I know…you don't care for me either though."

"Well I don't much care for anyone who undresses married men with their eyes." I responded and then I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. "Sorry…sorry…sometimes I just get a little jealous, okay? Dean and I are having a really rough time right now and you're not helping."

"Your father planned for you, you know." Anna informed me as she nodded. "He wanted so badly to have a powerful, devastating daughter. Azazel thought that by picking Florence, your added power would help to tip the scales…bring the demons forward into power. He didn't count on Florence's attachments to Mary or her will to want you to be a good kid who got to make her own choices."

"My mother _is_ pretty amazing." I responded with a soft smile, and then I looked at Anna. "You don't like me…do you?"

Anna took a breath. "I don't trust you. After everything you've been through and even everything you've proven, you just…you're unstable."

"You know, for a girl who likes emotions, you certainly don't seem to think that I should have any." I explained to her.

"You have demon blood coursing through your system and sooner or later, if you let it, that part of you will consume you…and no one will be safe." Anna warned me.

I nodded slowly and looked back at my book, looking up as she left the room to go back outside with the cars. It was like she was looking up into the Heavens looking for a purpose and on the one hand I respected her, but on the other hand I was worried that her opinion of me would somehow affect everything else. What was going on with her and what was it that I was going to have to do to fix all of this?

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

After glancing into the library and seeing Lana flipping through a couple of books, still trying to see if she could stop the angels from sending me back to Hell, I headed outside. Anna and Lana had needed to talk and I had found the book I had wanted, so I placed a portable lamp on the hood of the Impala and I studied. After several minutes had passed, Anna came out to join me, and I glanced at her, wondering if the talk with Lana had gone well or not.

"Hey." I greeted her. "Holding up okay?"

Anna nodding slowly. "Trying."

"Yeah." I responded, returning to the book.

"A little scared, I guess. So, um…Dean…I just wanted to thank you…and talk to you." She said softly.

For a moment I really thought that maybe Lana and Anna had gotten into a fight and I didn't want to be in the middle of it. Lana was my wife and I was on her side, but at the same time I needed Anna to be safe…I needed to save her. She was an innocent and she deserved the chance to be able to get out and live the life that _she_ wanted to live. She was going to be sacrificing her freedom just to help us and she really didn't have to.

"Thank me for what?" I asked her.

"Everything." She replied with a small shrug and a smile. "You guys…you didn't have to help me…Lana still doesn't really want to."

I cut in. "Hey, let's can the 'thanks for trying' speech, you know? Participation trophies suck ass."

"I don't know." Anna said shrugging. "Maybe I don't deserve to be saved."

"Don't talk like that." I told her.

She shrugged again. "I disobeyed. Lucifer disobeyed. It's our murder one, and I knew it. Maybe I got to pay."

"Yeah, well, we've all done things we got to pay for." I responded with a nod.

The fact of the matter was that in Hell I had done some terrible things and Lana of _all_ people had had to see it all. It was one of the many reason that I couldn't talk about it because I had done so many horrible things and the one person I loved most had seen me at my ultimate worst…and she still wanted me. How was I supposed to talk with her when she'd just forgive me and I hadn't even forgiven myself yet? She was my beautiful, strong, forgiving wife and I just didn't want her to have to talk to me about the terrible things that I had done…it shouldn't have been on her conscious…it was something I should have had to bare all on my own.

"I got to tell you something." Anna told me, leaning against the hood of the Impala. "You're not gonna like it."

I looked at her. "Okay. What?"

"About a week ago, I heard the angels talking…about you…what you did in Hell. Dean, I know." Anna told me, resting her hand on my cheek as the pain set in about yet another person having seen that. "It wasn't your fault. You should forgive yourself."

"Anna, I don't w…I don't want to, uh…I don't want to…I can't talk about that." I told her, knowing that my voice was trembling.

"I know," she responded softly, nodding, "but when you can, you have people that want to help. You are not alone. That's all I'm trying to say."

I nodded and I knew that she meant well…I knew that she was right. Lana had explained to me that Castiel had told her that I needed to have someone to talk to and I understood that and I appreciated it, but I still didn't want Lana to have to deal with it all. Then suddenly, after a short instant, she kissed me—leaned up and pressed her lips to mine.

For a moment I was completely confused, and I most definitely didn't kiss her back, but what had just happened? When it finally clicked in my mind that Anna was making a pass at me just like how Lana had been worried about, she had pulled back and I shook my head slowly. This wasn't all right…this wasn't okay…Lana _trusted_ me. I hadn't done anything wrong except _let_ Anna kiss me, but still…now I felt like crap.

"Anna, you can't do that, all right?" I told her, shaking my head and taking a step back. "I'm married and I love my wife, all right?"

Without letting her answer, I went into the house and straight to the library, looking around when Lana wasn't there. She wasn't in the kitchen either, so I went to the room she had chosen, and I frowned when I saw her sitting there…tears sliding down her cheeks. I nodded slowly when she looked at me and then shrugged a little, wiping her own tears away—she'd seen it.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I had wondered if Dean had gotten the book that he had wanted, but I saw him talking to Anna. As I headed towards them, I saw Anna kiss Dean and for a moment I just stood there and there was no reason why I just stood there, but I couldn't help it. Then the rage built up inside and I went back into the house, not bothering to care what happened afterwards. All I could think about was getting Anna as far away from me and my family as I could…and as soon as possible.

"I can't be part of this, Dean." I explained to him as he sat on the bed next to me. "I'm done…this isn't all right…I want her out of here—I want to sleep and talk to Cas and tell him where we are because I hate her, okay? I hate her."

Dean nodded slowly and kissed my forehead. "I got away from her, you know? I love _you_."

"I know, and I still trust you." I responded honestly, resting my hand on his. "That just hurt me…a lot."

"I know, Baby…I know." He told me, kissing my temple.

I looked up at him and smiled sadly, Dean making eye contact with me and then slowly leaning in, caught off guard when I kissed him, but quickly returning the kiss. Even though Anna had kissed him, I needed to be with my husband and he had rejected Anna and that was all that mattered. Besides, if we were going to sleep at all, it would be best if I made sure that Dean was relaxed and comfortable.

"I'm not too hurt to sleep with you." I told him quietly, stroking his hair. "We both know that you have an 80% less chance of having nightmares about Hell if you're happy and relaxed."

Dean ran his nose along mine. "I don't deserve you."

"Is that a 'yes'?" I asked him.

"Of course it is, but Johnny's in the room in the basinet so…we have to take this outside…" Dean explained.

I shook my head. "We can be quiet about it—it'll be like having sex in the motel room in the bed next to Kate's and Sam's while they're sleeping. I just…I don't want to chance running into Anna."

Dean nodded and kissed me gently, letting me press back and deepen the kiss a little, his thumbs brushing the tears off of my cheeks. We handled each other gently and lovingly, staying quiet so Johnny wasn't disturbed and still reaching every breaking point we needed. Then afterwards we talked softly, me propping my head up on my hand as I lay on my side next to Dean, him on his back, running his hand along my arm, both of us snuggled under the ruffled sheets of the bed.

"I can't talk about it because it hurts, Lanni." Dean told me in the silence.

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, I know…that's why I'm not pushing."

"I don't want you to forgive me, okay? I don't want you to tell me that I didn't have a choice and that I had to do that to stop the ache because…because I hate myself." Dean explained, pain in his voice. "I hate what I did—what I became—I can't believe that I let myself be changed like that. I failed you down there and I just…"

I nodded and kissed him softly, understanding as he began to tear up, the pain in his voice overwhelming me. Dean kissed me back as I tucked my hair behind my ears, both of us trying hard to just forget all of this for now because Dean was feeling so bad about it and it hurt him too much still to talk about it. I held him close to me and soon after he fell asleep, I fell asleep as well, trying to figure out what to do next.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I found myself walking out and entering the barn, coming face to face with Uriel. For a moment I thought maybe they had found us, but last thing I remembered was falling asleep next to Lana and now I was here.

"I'm dreaming, aren't I?" I asked him.

Uriel nodded. "It's the only way we could chat…since you're hiding like cowards. Lana wouldn't tell Castiel anything when he tried for her."

"Don't normally see you off leash. Where's your boss?" I asked him, trying not to feel bad that Lana hadn't told me that Castiel had visited her in one of her dreams.

"Castiel?" Uriel asked me. "Oh, he, uh…he's not here. See, he has this weakness. He likes you. Time's up, boy. We want the girl."

"Wouldn't try that if I were you. See, she got her grace back. Full-blown angel now." I bluffed.

Uriel laughed a little. "That would be a neat trick, considering…I have her grace right here."

I watched as he showed me a glowing pendant that he was wearing around his neck and I couldn't help but swallow. He was holding all of the cards and he had been holding them the whole time just watching us all writhe like fish on a hook. There was no way that he was going to get Anna, however—Lana and I had both agreed that no matter how we felt about her, she had a right to live if she wanted.

"We can't let Hell get their hooks into her." Uriel explained to me. "I thought your wife would cave when Castiel explained that to her, but she _also_ has a weakness…she cares about what _you_ want."

I smiled a little. "That sounds like Lanni…why don't you just give Anna back her angel juice, Uriel?"

"She committed a serious crime." Uriel told me.

"What? Thinking for herself?" I asked him angrily.

"This is our business, not yours. She's not even human…not technically." Uriel said and then he took a deep breath. "Listen to your wife and hand Anna over."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…Lana doesn't want you guys to kill her either. It's not like you're really going to toss me back in the hole—you're bluffing."

"Try me!" Uriel exclaimed. "This is a whole lot bigger than the plans we got for you, Dean. You can be replaced."

"I don't break that easy, Uriel." I told him shaking my head. "Lana and I talked about this and if I'm willing to take this chance, then she's willing to let me go."

Uriel laughed a little. "Oh, you break, Dean…you just got to know where to apply the right pressure."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I woke up from the small amount of sleep to see that Dean wasn't lying there anymore. When I went into the barn he was drinking some alcohol and I ran my fingers through my hair as I thought about checking in on Johnny. I didn't like the idea of him being in the room without Dean and I there, and though I had the baby monitor on me and he was sleeping fine and his force field was up, I couldn't figure out where I needed to be.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked him, running my hand along his shoulder.

He looked at me. "You didn't give her up to Castiel."

"Of course not—oh…Uriel or Cas?" I asked him, knowing one of them came to him in a dream as well.

"Uriel…that guy is a dick." Dean said, taking another sip.

"I hate asking and ruining how perfect it is without her, but…where is Ruby?" Kate asked as she came into the barn, Sam right behind her, followed by Anna. "We can't find her anywhere…is Johnny alone in the house?"

I was going to answer when suddenly the doors of the barn opened and Castiel and Uriel showed up. The doors shut immediately and Castiel and I shared looks, Anna surprised that they were there and yet holding her ground, glancing at me. In fact I came to realize that they all seemed to think that it was _me _who had given away our position and I hadn't, which meant…which meant that Dean had…

"Hello, Anna." Castiel told her. "It's good to see you."

"How? How did you find us?" Sam asked, looking around at everyone and then looking at how guilty Dean looked. "Dean?"

Dean looked at Anna. "I'm sorry."

"Why did you do it?" Kate asked Dean calmly.

"Because they gave him a choice," Anna explained to Sam, still looking at Dean as he looked at her with guilt and sadness. "They either kill me…or kill you…or they take Lana and Johnny away from him by force—I know how their minds work. You did the best you could, Dean…I forgive you."

I half expected her to kiss him again, but she seemed to have learned her lesson and instead turned to Uriel. Dean was feeling like crap because he had given up on something he believed in just to save everyone else and I knew suddenly that a fight was going to happen. I couldn't let this all be in vain, and I was really hoping that when this was over, Dean would still want to be around me.

"Okay. No more tricks. No more running. I'm ready." Anna explained to them strongly.

Castiel looked at her. "I'm sorry."

"No. You're not." Anna told him angrily. "Not really. You don't know the feeling."

"Still, we have a history. It's just—"

"—order are orders. I know. Just make it quick."

"Don't you touch a hair on that poor girl's head." Alastair said suddenly, entering the barn with an obviously tortured Ruby.

It answered our question as to where Ruby had gone off to and I wondered if she had done it on purpose or had been captured. She had brought the demons here and it kind of made sense and I wanted it all to end. This was none of our business and I didn't want to be in the middle so I had to do something—I had to act. If that meant using my 'anti-christ' powers, then I was going to have to just use them and then ask for some sort of permission later because two angels and then Alastair and his two henchmen were really making me sick and tired of this job.

"How dare you come in this room…you pussing sore?" Uriel asked Alastair going up to him.

"Name-calling," Alastair replied shaking his head, "that hurt my feelings…you sanctimonious, fanatical prick."

Castiel looked at him. "Turn around and walk away now."

"Sure. Just give us the girl. We'll make sure she gets punished good and proper." Alastair explained with a grin."

"You know what?" I asked them, stepping towards them and staying out of reach of Dean who wanted to hold me back. "This ends now."

"Looks like little Lana grew some balls." Alastair told me.

I laughed a little. "You're the one who should be the _most_ scared right now. I'm going to do to you, what you did to Dean."

"I don't think you have it in you." Alastair said, egging me on. "I mean I knew that Dean had promise, but I had no idea that _you_ were so capable."

When I went for him to deliver a physical blow to his face, Anna went straight for Uriel and snatched the pendant off of his neck. She was using my anger towards Alastair as a diversion, and the second she threw the pendant on the ground and it broke, her grace began to come out of it. She told us all to shield our eyes and after a bright flash of light and some gusts of wind, she was gone and so was Alastair, me neutralizing his henchmen easily.

"I'm sorry." I told Castiel sadly. "I couldn't do what you wanted."

Castiel nodded slowly. "I gave you a task you weren't up to doing…this can't happen again."

"I know, I know…Johnny and I are on some pretty short leashes." I said letting him know that I was aware. "So are you guys going after Anna?"

"This isn't over." Uriel warned us.

"Oh, it looks over to me, junkless." Dean informed him and then the angels vanished, and I looked at Ruby.

She kind of limped over to us and I felt a little bad, but at the same time I didn't really care enough about her to _actually_ care. The look on Kate's face showed me that she most definitely didn't care, but Sam and Dean seemed to have a bit of compassion for her and what she had gone through for us. When did Kate and I become like this? When did we let our jealousy get the better of us?

"You okay?" Sam asked Ruby.

Ruby looked at him. "Not so much."

"What took you so long to get here?" Dean asked her.

"Sorry I'm late with the demon delivery. I was only being tortured." Ruby explained.

Kate nodded at that. "You know, you didn't _need_ to do that. We had Lana, and when the chips are down, she kind of _always_ comes through. Wish I could have watched Alastair at work though…"

"You know I did this to _save_ you guys." Ruby told her. "All you have are snide remarks? I brought everyone together to have a showdown between themselves."

"Which was _Sam's_ amazing plan and still Lana could have taken care of everyone if need be." Kate pointed out. "Sorry, I just can't ever seem to see the need for you…ever…"

I held my hands up in the air and told them to stop, shaking my head and then convincing everyone to split up for now. Ruby went on her merry way, Kate and Sam went to go and get some sleep, and Dean and I went to go and make sure that Johnny was all right—he was perfectly fine. He even smiled a little in his sleep when Dean ran his hand over his head and I smiled at them as I got into the bed and hugged my pillow a little.

"I'm sorry." I told him. "I'm sorry that this is how it ended."

Dean nodded and got into the bed with me, pulling me close. "I just know that wherever she is, she hates it…she's not happy."

"I know…and I'm sorry." I said again, closing my eyes and sighing. "I know that doesn't help and I should quit saying it, but I am. We'll see her again…I know this isn't over."

xxxx

The next day we all stopped on the side of the highway and Kate and I showed Johnny some of the foliage and tickled his stomach, Dean and Sam sharing a beer. We were trying to unwind and to forget and then suddenly Dean was talking to Sam with that serious tone in his voice. Kate and I knew that we needed to tune in and we all leaned on the hood of the Impala, Kate running her fingers through Sam's hair, and me holding onto Johnny and keeping him occupied with the occasional tickling of his nose with my finger as Dean began to talk to us and I knew it was really good for him.

"I know you heard him." Dean told us.

Sam looked at him. "Who?"

"Alastair." Dean said nodding. "What he said…about how I had promise…and you also heard Lana saw she was going to do to him what he did to me."

"Yeah…yeah we heard." Sam admitted, nodding and taking a swig of beer.

Dean looked at his beer, his back to Sam and Kate. "You're not curious?"

"Dean, I'm damn curious—Kate and I _both_ are…but…you're not talking about Hell, and we're not pushing." Sam said shrugging.

Dean nodded and glanced at me and Johnny, then looking back at his beer and for the first time since he had come out of Hell, I knew he was going to say something. We had gotten a little somewhere when Dean explained to me how he felt when we were babysitting Anna, but it just wasn't the same. There was a lot that Dean still had to deal with and then he took a deep breath and I reached out to squeeze his hand.

"It wasn't four months, you know." Dean explained to Kate and Sam first.

Sam looked at him. "What?"

"It was four months up here, but down there…I don't know. Time's different. It was more like 40 years." Dean told him slowly.

"Oh, my God…" Sam said softly.

"They, uh…they sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you…until there was nothing left, and then, suddenly…I would be whole again…like magic…just so they could start in all over." Dean explained, pain etching out every word he said. "And Alastair…at the end of every day…every one…he would come over. And he would make me an offer to take me off the rack…if I put souls on…if I started the torturing…and every day, I told him to stick it where the sun shines." Dean explained to us, all of us taking it all in as tears came to my eyes and I saw my nightmares flooding back, Alastair hurting Dean and Dean saying 'no' and me wishing he'd just give in. "For 30 years, I told him…but then I couldn't do it anymore, Sammy." He explained, tears in his eyes, his voice trembling as I took calming breaths to stop the tears. "I couldn't…and I got off that rack. God help me, I got right off it, and I started ripping them apart." He said, his whole mouth trembling as he tried to hard to keep it all together, pain and guilt and sadness coming off of him in waves, the tears sliding down my cheeks. "I lost count of how many souls. The…the things that I did to them…"

I closed my eyes as Dean started to cry, not wanting to watch him lose it and yet not wanting to see all of the images flashing through my mind either. The things that Alastair did to him…the way he broke him…the things that Dean did when he got off of the rack…the way that he changed…I felt like it was a all my fault. I couldn't save my husband from having to go to Hell and in turn he had to torture souls in order to stop the pain that was being inflicted on him that he didn't deserve.

"Dean," Sam started and then he cleared his throat as Dean closed his eyes and cried, me running my fingers through his hair, Johnny snuggling against me. "Dean, look, you held out for 30 years. That's longer than anyone would have."

Dean kept his eyes closed, tears running down his face, trying to control himself and take deep breaths, me wiping a couple tears off of his cheeks and then taking my hands away. I knew that when I was upset and people doted on me it just made me feel worse—like I was forcing my problems on them when I didn't need to—and I knew how Dean worked. In a little bit when he felt more put together I could hold him and kiss him and tell him how much I loved him and what a wonderful man he really was…but not right then…right then I just had to let him let it all out before he shut down again.

Dean tried to control himself and then spoke through his tears. "How I feel…this…inside me…I wish I couldn't feel anything, Sammy."

I brushed a few tears off of my cheek as I felt all of the emotions from everyone right then, taking a deep breath to try and calm myself. Dean needed me to be strong right then while he explained how he felt, and what had happened and no matter the images flashing in my mind as he spoke, I had to hold it together…for Dean. He had to live it and that was nowhere near what I had to experience—it was a million times worse for Dean and I didn't have the right to cry about it.

"I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing." Dean explained to us, and I rested my hand on his thigh as he looked at Johnny, avoiding eye contact with the rest of us, Johnny looking at his father and reaching up to touch his face.

**Note: As you can see, a **_**lot **_**of storylines changed a little, Pamela's mostly. Another chapter should be up in the next couple of days and I'm excited to know what you guys think about what's happening right now! Feedback is always appreciated!**


	80. Baby, It's Us Against the World

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I apologize that this is kind of a filler chapter, but it really needed to be here and soon we'll be done with S4.**

**I know you could call S4 important, but I kind of didn't really like most of the individual episodes (I like it as a whole), so I'm only incorporating the parts/episodes that I actually liked, and then adding in my own two storylines.**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

I ran my fingers along Dean's t-shirt as we lay there in bed, both of us silent because we'd run out of things to talk about. Besides my plans to run off and be a double agent and try to take out Lilith, we'd told each other _everything_. I was propped up on my hand, my elbow on my pillow, Dean's eyes focused on the ceiling, his lips curving up into a smile as I ran my toes along his ankle a moment under the covers.

"You can sleep if you want to, you know." He told me, his eyes still fixed on the ceiling.

I smiled at him. "I don't really want to since you're going to be up all night again. I'm worried about you, Dean…you're not sleeping much. Nightmares? Or is it something else?"

"I'm fine." He said shrugging. "I'm just not tired."

"You're such a terrible liar….well when you're lying to me." I replied, remembering that this was something that we did for a living. "You're exhausted and you need sleep, but I'm not pushing, promise."

"Yes, because you, my lovely wife, don't push ever." Dean replied sarcastically, kissing me as I laughed a little and shrugged.

He slipped his fingers into my hair and ran his thumb along my jaw, before looking me in the eye and shrugging a little. We both knew that he was exhausted and that he needed sleep and then we could go about going on a hunt. There was so much that we wanted—so many things left to simply chat about—and yet all we were doing was lying next to each other and making jokes back and forth. Sometimes it was the little moments, and for now we needed things to be kept nice and light.

"Kate found a hunt that I'm going to help her on tomorrow because Kevin wants you and Sam to do something with him…are you going to be up to it?" I asked him.

Dean gave me a look. "I've operated on less sleep before."

"Yeah, but you have a son that is actually up right now…that's weird." I said as the baby monitor went off, and just like that Dean and I were up and we were headed to the nursery, stopping in our tracks when we opened up the door.

Johnny's force field wasn't up, and Castiel was in the room, looking at him. I raised up my hand and then Castiel shook his head, looking at me as Johnny cooed a little and looked at us for answers. He trusted Castiel like I did, and I could tell that for a second Dean was able to trust him too just because we didn't have any reason not to and he seemed to keep Johnny and I safe, but what was he doing here? It was 3 o'clock in the morning and we didn't think the hunt that Kate had found would have anything to do with Castiel…maybe we were wrong.

"Can we help you?" Dean asked him.

Castiel looked at me. "You need to stop Kate."

"Why? Next to Dean, she's like…the human one." I told him, knowing that even though she was a witch, she wasn't like Sam and I…she didn't actually have demon blood in her.

"She's willing to do _anything_ to help Sam, and though commendable, she's allowing Ruby to get to him." Castiel explained and then he looked at Dean. "I understand that Sam has made a choice not to use his powers, but can you really trust this demon not to persuade him to again?"

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

It was a rough night for me—I couldn't sleep no matter what it was that I did and I had a feeling that what I _really_ needed was to get up and research some more. This newest hunt was something that I had found and there was more to it than met the eye—that much I was _sure_ of. For a moment I thought I might need Ruby just to ask her for information on the demonic stuff going down, but I didn't want to admit that I needed _her_ help…especially _not_ to her face.

So I just got up and pulled a robe on, heading downstairs to the living room and grabbing a couple of the spell books down there. Sam had implemented a 'no researching in the room' rule because he wanted to have sex with non-interrupted post cuddling and I obliged him. He deserved to have my full attention these days, especially when I was going around finding us all hunts to do in some of my free time when I should have been leaving well enough alone.

The truth of the matter was that I was restless these days, and I was itching to find Lilith and stop Lucifer so we could focus on getting Lana out of her deal. I wanted to find time to plan Sam's and my wedding, and I wanted Lana to feel like the world was safe enough for her to bring another baby into it because she wanted another one so bad and so did Dean. In fact the two had been arguing about it the night before and when Dean had asked Lana to just drop it, she'd obliged and tried to keep a game face on and not show us that she was really kind of upset.

Just in case my middle of the night wandering down in only a robe wasn't enough of an uncomfortable moment since Dean or Penn could show up any moment and realize I was naked under the robe, Ruby showed up. The only places in the entire house that demons could enter were the living room, the kitchen and the basement…just my luck. She looked at me like she needed something and also like she was slightly disgusted that I was flaunting that Sam and I in fact _had_ a sex life together.

"What do you want, Demon Skank?" I asked her calmly, making eye contact with her. "I'm already doing a hunt and no matter what you say, you can't deter me from it."

Ruby raised her eyebrows. "So you're telling me that even if I had the exact coordinates of where Lilith is right now, you wouldn't bite?"

"We're not _ready_ to face Lilith, and even if we were, I think that we both know that I'd bite—but that's _not_ why you're here, so why don't you cut the crap?" I told her in a tired voice. "I'd like to flip through some spells and then go back up to my fiancé and maybe actually get some sleep before waking up and taking out a demon."

"You have to make Sam start practicing again." Ruby told me flat out. "He has to be strong enough to take out Lilith in case Lana flakes, or something happens to her."

I gave her a look. "Sam said he wasn't going to do this anymore…I'm not going to push him back into it just because some skanky demon whore tells me to."

"This is _so_ much bigger than your hatred for me, Kate!" She exclaimed, shaking her head. "This is about Sam protecting himself, and _everyone else around him_."

I took a deep breath and let the words settle in, remembering the time that Annie had caught Sam using his powers. He and I had been caught in a tough situation, and it was about time that someone else knew besides just Sam and I, but we hadn't wanted it to be _Annie_. She had a habit of judging things before she got all of the facts, but when I told her about how he was exercising those powers, it was almost as if all of her feelings for Sam somehow resurfaced.

"_You have to stop this Kate—this is wrong, and you know it." Annie told me as I blotted up some blood from the cut on my head._

_I took a deep breath. "Annie, you don't understand. This has to be done."_

"_I understand that you're letting Sam do something that he shouldn't be doing. What is wrong with you? I thought you loved him!" She exclaimed, Sam in the living room giving us space, but I knew that he was listening in on the conversation as a whole because it involved him and he hated when people got mad at me for standing up for him—like I __**wouldn't**__ stand up for him._

"_I __**do**__ love him…this is just the only way and I have to support his decision." I explained to her slowly._

_Annie shook her head. "I __**never**__ would have done this to him."_

_I opened my mouth to say something to her but then I closed it, glad that she cared enough about Sam to fight with me. Lord knew that he needed to have as many people in his corner right then as he could get, and Annie was just trying to help me keep my promise to Dean __**and**__ keep Sam out of danger. I agreed with her too—I didn't feel like this was right, but at the same time I had this feeling in my gut that this __**had**__ to be done, and that Sam had decided to do it, and I was going to stand by him no matter what…I was going to protect and support the man that I loved._

"Get out." I told her firmly. "You'll hear from us when you hear from us."

Ruby opened her mouth to say something, but instead left when I gave her that glare of mine that she was so used to receiving by now. She knew that I had just agreed to talk to Sam about it all and let him know that she had stopped by to tell us that we had to resume the practices and I sighed when she was gone. That had pretty much stopped me in my tracks and I no longer felt like researching, so I set the spell books down and went straight back to the room I shared with Sam, shutting the door behind me and sighing loudly when I saw him sitting up in the bed, on his laptop.

"What happened to your 'no post-sex research' rule?" I asked him, crossing my arms over my chest.

He laughed a little. "I'm not researching for a hunt and you were down there getting a spell book, and once _I_ fell asleep, the rule no longer applied."

"God, you know me _so_ well." I told him with a smile. "I was indeed down there gathering up spell books, and then Skank showed up and told me that you need to train with her again and…and I think I agree with her, but I want this to be _your_ choice."

"So it's just 'Skank' now?" He asked me with a chuckle.

I shrugged a little. "One syllable as opposed to three. Now can we be serious a moment and think over what she said, please?"

"Come here." Sam instructed, closing his laptop and setting it on the floor next to his side of the bed.

I nodded and got into bed with him, climbing onto his lap and straddling him, smiling softly when he slipped his fingers into my hair. He kissed me, and though I wanted to talk to him about this, I wanted to kiss him more so I returned the kiss and ran my nose along his when he pulled back. His fingers trailed down my robe to the sash, and he tugged on it, loosening it and then making eye contact with me when I laughed a little bit.

"I don't want to still be hunting when I'm old and gray, Katie." Sam explained to me, slowly opening up my robe but keeping eye contact with me. "Someday I want us to settle down into a normal life and leave hunting behind."

I smiled at him a little and slipped the robe off, letting our bare skin brush against each others'. Tossing the robe onto the floor on the opposite side of the bed I kissed him, cupping his face and shifting my weight on his lap, trying to get my feelings all in check. I walk into our room telling him about how we needed to take what Ruby had said into consideration, but instead he set to telling how he wanted a life with me. Yes, his proposal had made me realize that too, but this was different…this was the prospect of an _actual life_.

"So I agree with you about needing to train with Ruby again." Sam told me, grunting a little and then laughing when I shifted my weight again. "We have a hunt to do later today…"

I shrugged a little and rocked against him. "I can function fine."

"Trust me…I know." Sam replied laughing.

The laugh just rumbled right out of his throat and I captured his lips with mine, his hands running along my skin as I slipped my hand down his torso. There wasn't much need for foreplay when we were both so ready and willing and so I brought myself right down on him and kissed him hard as we held each other close and moved against each other. Sam Winchester had come into my life in a moment of great sadness when Lana had died, and ever since then, he and I had been helping each other through our problems.

We'd been there through the highs and the lows, we'd fallen in love, and now we were getting married. At first everything had seemed so complicated and felt like there were strings attached to it, but in these moments where our bodies were moving together almost effortlessly, everything seemed simple. Everything felt like it was the way it was supposed to be, and I couldn't help but feel like this was where we _belonged_.

"I love you." Sam breathed out, bringing my over the edge and showering my face with kisses as he found his breaking point shortly after.

Our chests heaved together and he pressed his lips to mine, our arms wrapped around each other, both of us trying to catch our breaths. I nodded into the kiss and managed an, 'I love you' before our lips were together again, our wet bodies resting against each others' and we sat there a few moments just breathing and kissing, and holding each other close. Then I rested my forehead against Sam's and a smile broke out across my face, Sam tucking slightly damp hair behind my ears and running his thumb along my jaw as he rested his hand on my face.

"Someday, Sammy…I want to make babies with you this way." I whispered, smiling when he grinned and kissed me tenderly. "Not now, and not soon, but someday."

Sam nodded and kissed me again, both of us managing to lie down again, snuggled up with each other. I ran my fingers along his pecks and he glided his fingers through my hair as I laid out the hunt for him. We'd both gotten a fix we needed and we weren't researching, but talking out the hunts sometimes put Sam and I on the right track and we were exhausted, and waiting for sleep to overtake us.

"Wait, what?" Sam asked as I put in my two cents about it all.

I shrugged a little. "I just feel like everything is connected through our so-called victim."

"Kate, you're a genius!" Sam exclaimed, kissing my head.

I shifted and propped myself up on my elbow. "What?"

"I know what it is now!" Sam said with a grin on his face. "We should tell Lan and Dean."

"Oh…so we have to get up now?" I asked him, disappointment setting in because I just wanted to sleep in his arms right then.

He smiled and shook his head. "Sleep first, hunt later."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

At breakfast the next morning, I made everyone toaster waffles and brewed some coffee, sitting next to Johnny's high chair and putting on my bravest face. Bobby had called Sam and Dean and offered them a hunt and they were going to take it, leaving Kate and I to deal with this witch problem. Witch problems were all well and good for us, but at the same time I was starting to understand that it wasn't really Lilith and Lucifer that were making me weary about having another baby…it was everything else.

"How long do you think you guys will be gone?" I asked Dean slowly, forcing a smile when he kissed my temple as he sat down at the table next to me.

"No more than a few days." Dean replied with certainty in his voice. "It seems to Sam and I like a rather quick in and out, and Annie even offered to help you guys with this witch that needs to be taken out. You guys will all be fine while Sam and I are gone."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, I was just trying to figure out how many nights I have to spend alone."

"I would have invited you along, had you not said that you wanted to stay as close to Kansas as possible these days." Dean responded, digging into his waffle as Johnny ripped apart his plain one and ate it, everyone else at the table trying to mind their own business and start their own conversation at the other end of the table. "I'm just trying to keep Johnny out of as much hunting as we can."

"Yeah, I know, and that's a good thing." I replied nodding too.

With that we simply changed the subject, Kate explaining about the 'so-called victim' and then all of us getting ready to go. As the girls and I gathered up things for our hunt, Dean and Sam packed duffels and hit the road, promising to check in as often as they could. All I knew was that this was what I had been afraid of all this time, and I really didn't know how to get past it all when the only thing I could think about suddenly was another baby and how happy that would make me.

Part of me was beginning to wonder if maybe I suddenly just wanted another baby because it might be an extra bargaining chip for Dean and me. If I got pregnant again, everything would have to change so drastically that maybe we would be _forced_ to quit and settle down. We could resign and only hunt every once in while when it was absolutely necessary, and other than that we could have an actual life. I wouldn't be able to hunt so much with two kids, and Dean would have all the more reason to cash in on his 'I'm tired of all of this' card.

With another baby, there wouldn't be room for him, Kate, Sam and me to travel around the country in the Impala, and since an extra car was just a hassle, why even bother? Dean and I felt bad enough putting Johnny in all of the danger that we put him in, and we wouldn't be willing to do that to another kid…right? We were learning as we went and I'd wanted a baby before now and just come up with reasons to say 'no' to the idea…so why not just say 'yes' and figure it out as we went? Then again I knew the answer to that—Lucifer.

Everything _always_ seemed to come back to Lucifer, and I was starting to think that maybe wanting another baby right now was just me being selfish. On the one hand, I had every right to want a family with my husband and to want to keep my children safe from harm, but on the other hand, Sam, Kate, Dean and I had kind of started this when the door to Hell had been opened and there were still demons after me and Johnny that probably wouldn't stop until Lilith was taken care of, so bringing another child into that kind of danger was completely unreasonable.

"You look like you need some kind of break before we do anything." Kate informed me, resting her hand on my shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Come into the living room…I have something I want to show you while Annie finishes packing."

I just smiled at her and nodded, both of sitting on the couch and my eyes lit up when I saw the scrapbook she had been putting together and the bridal magazines. Even though she and Sam hadn't set an actual date yet because they were waiting to figure out the Lilith/Lucifer situation, they were both dead set on getting married and just like any normal girl, Kate was already planning. She started to pull out color schemes and show me floral arrangements and the bridesmaids' dresses she was picking in between, making me suddenly feel all perked up as Johnny played on the floor with his blocks, me laughing and vetoing a bridesmaid dress right off the back as Kate pointed to it.

"Okay, okay, okay—how about this one?" Kate asked me.

I made a face and shook my head. "Oh, I am not going to be caught dead wearing that bridesmaids dress and I don't think your sisters would wear it either."

"I was thinking more like…you could be my Maid of Honor…so you'd be the only one wearing whatever dress we decide on." Kate told me slowly, a smile stretching out across her face as she saw the happiness twinkle in my eyes.

"Really?" I asked her slowly, the words barely audible. "You want me to be your Maid of Honor?"

Honestly I couldn't believe it—Kate had _two_ younger sisters that she could bestow such an honor on and yet she was asking _me_? Even though I hadn't seen Kathryn in several years since she lived with hers, Kalli's and Kate's mother all the way in Windom, Minnesota, I was quite aware that Kate talked to her everyday either via phone or via computer and so she knew what was up with her sister—both of them even though Kalli didn't keep in regular contact with either of her sisters. How was it that she would pick _me _above her own sisters?

"Yeah…yeah, I do." Kate replied nodding. "Dean is Sam's Best Man and Johnny's the Ring Bearer obviously and if this is going to go down as an actual wedding even with the whole hassle of them being 'dead'—even if this is just for ceremonial purposes—I want you to be my Maid of Honor. You've got my back, and there's no other role in this wedding that I'd want you to play."

I smiled at her. "Oh, Katie…I'd be honored. I love you…you know that right?"

"I love you too, Lan." Kate told me, pulling me into a fond embrace. "It's you and me, okay?"

"Katelyn Lara Newman, you're making me cry." I responded, hugging her tightly. "I'm going to do everything in my power to make this happen for you—to make this run smoothly and be your _perfect_ day."

She smiled at me and then we looked up as Annie came down the stairs, all of us ready to go and nab us a witch. It was going to be a piece of cake and I knew that no matter what we did, we were going to be prepared, and it was going to be a piece of cake. I had a chance to practice my new powers, Annie had a chance to make sure her hunting skills weren't so rusty, and Kate was getting to do the one thing in life that she thought that she was actually good at—we'd had _that_ conversation before.

"_You just don't get it, Lana—this is __**all**__ that I can do!" Kate told me shrugging and shaking her head. "I'm not like you! I'm not taking online classes behind my significant other's back so I can run a Daycare! I'm not talented! I graduated High School and then I took to hunting full time while Kat decided to stay normal and Kalli up and ran off with her dick of a boyfriend! The only one who is getting a decent education is Kat—she has her whole future mapped out, college and everything. Kalli and I chose to do hunting. I don't have __**any**__ special skills other than my gun level knowledge and my knack for ghost hunting!"_

_I rested my hands on her shoulders. "Kate…you don't give yourself enough credit. You would make an __**amazing**__ woodshop teacher if you put your mind to it. Hack a computer system and give yourself a degree and all of that—you're an __**amazing**__ hacker, and you're really good at giving people direction and focus. Honey…you can be whatever it is that you want to be once you and Sam are married, okay? Just calm down."_

"_I just…I don't know what I can do for him." Kate said shaking her head a little. "He has some law under his belt, and he can go back and learn it and be successful, but…sometimes I wonder why he picked me. Crazy, damaged…me."_

"_Because he loves you." I replied with a shrug and a soft laugh. "Just love him too and hammer out all of the details later, all right?"_

"_Fine…but only if you talk to your husband about what is __**really**__ going on with you." Kate said, me nodding slowly and then both of us hugging it out._

As I thought it all over on the way to the witch's home, I realized that Kate had been incredibly right—I needed to talk to Dean. I had just shut down the baby idea and given him such terrible excuses, that though valid, weren't what I was _really_ afraid of. He and I had been arguing about my deal, and about Lilith, and about Lucifer, and about my powers and the angels plans, and it just seemed to me like I needed to be straightforward with him now that I was _finally_ seeing clearly. He and I needed to sit down and express ourselves because that was the only way that our relationship worked—good communication.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

Taking out the witch was easier than we thought it would be—almost like it was _too_ easy, and yet we'd tied up all the leads. There wasn't a part of the research left unturned, and so we went home and ate and took Johnny to the park, me looking up as Lana got a call from Dean, checking in. Sam would check in shortly after, knowing that both of us were most likely together and finishing up a little of his research so he could focus on me. It was just one of the many quirks about him that I loved so dearly.

"EW!" Lana said suddenly. "You mean there's like a girl bred by incest in the walls? Okay, okay, a girl who got knocked up by her dad in the walls…that it disgusting. Have you at least found the little boy who she took into the walls? I worry about him."

I smiled a little as Lana ran her fingers through her hair, absent-mindedly running her fingers along her stomach. She just wanted to have a big family with her husband and yet she felt obligated to do so many things and to take out so many demons and I wished that she could just focus on herself and on _her_ happiness. That had never really been her way of dealing with things—she always put everyone else first unless she felt like what she wanted was slipping away forever—and I wanted her to get her picket fence life with a tiny side of demon slaying.

"Well just be careful and come back to me in one piece, okay?" Lana told him, and then nodded a little. "I love you too, Baby."

With that she hung up the phone and I smiled at Johnny as he laughed in his baby swing, pointing at his mother who started to play peek-a-boo with him. She was so naturally a mother and someday I hoped I could be as amazing at it as Lana…someday I hoped that I'd be able to feel like I _could_ settle, because though I entertained the idea, sometimes I just felt like it was going to make me restless. Then again I'd be with Sam, and there was no one else in the world that I'd want to spend my life with…maybe I could honestly find a way to settle in to what _he_ wanted, just as Dean had done with Lana.

"Johnny, who is that?" I asked him playfully as I pushed him just a little higher and he laughed.

"Momma!" Johnny said happily.

I nodded and smiled as Lana waved at him. "Yeah, that's Momma. We love Momma, don't we? Yeah, that's right."

I erupted into laughter, as Johnny nodded and then Lana stood up and came to relieve me from swing duty, Sam calling my phone. I answered as Lana picked Johnny up out of the swing and kissed his head, nuzzling him with her nose and tickling his stomach, both of them heading over to the teeter-totter. Johnny sat on her lap as she sat on one side of the teeter-totter, bouncing up and down enough to keep Johnny happy and not put him in any danger at the same time…someday she could do that with another baby and Johnny could be big enough to be on the other side.

"Hey, Sammy." I answered smiling. "Got your research all squared away?"

Sam chuckled and I knew he was nodding. "Yeah, I think so…Dean and I are about to go and try and finish this already, and it's only been like twelve hours since we saw each other last."

"Yeah…good luck, though. Get that kid back to his parents." I told him, fluffing my hair a little bit. "I'll see you when you get home—try not to get _too_ cut up and bruised, okay?"

"I'll try. I love you, Kate." Sam said sincerely.

I smiled and nodded. "I love you too."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

By the time Sam and Dean got back from saving the boy and Sam and Dean having another heart to heart about Hell, it had been about 36 hours since we'd seen them last and though Kate and Sam went straight upstairs, I sat in the kitchen, Johnny sleeping. Dean could tell that I was incredibly upset and he sat at the island counter next to me, reaching out and taking my hand. There was just so much to say to him and I didn't even know where to begin at this point. He just deserved to know _everything_ going on in my head, and I needed to square away _everything_ before Castiel showed up to tell me to go to Lilith…I knew that could happen any time now because he'd told me to be ready before Sam and Dean had returned.

"So what's really up? You've been sad this whole hunt, and you've barely spoken…even Johnny knows something's up with you." Dean told me softly, running his thumb along my hand.

I nodded slowly and then made eye contact with him. "Look, Dean, I need you to know something, all right? Earlier, when we were talking about us and Johnny and our family, it wasn't about you and the angels and Lilith. This isn't even about me and my deal or about Johnny and his powers—this is about the fact that we're hunters. Once you're in, you can't just get back out without taking some strings along with you. No, I _don't_ want to do this forever, you're right, but that doesn't change the fact that even when we walk away, things will follow us and we'll never truly be safe."

I could feel the tears well up in my eyes as I spoke, and I kept thinking about my childhood and about the future, and I just wanted Dean in it. I wanted out of my deal, I wanted to raise my son, and I wanted to be a _real_ family someday, but we _were_ hunters—we were _always_ going to be part of this fight, even if we were part of it less and less. There were so many things that Dean and I had to be aware of before we even _thought_ about having another baby, though I hoped having another baby was close on the horizon, there were things to do first.

"Johnny's going to have to grow up knowing that there are things that go bump in the night so that he can protect himself and sometimes that hurts me. I grew up like that…I grew up in an environment where I went to school and I had sleepovers, and I occasionally did a hunt because I had to protect myself and _that_ is what our life is going to be like and deep down you _know_ that." I explained to him, brushing away a tear as I looked at the hurt and yet understanding look in Dean's eyes as he took in my every word and focused all of his attention on me. "So yes, yes I want more kids with you, and yes I'm tired of all of this and I want to quit, but lets face it Dean…we're never _really_ going to be done no matter what we do."

Dean nodded slowly, taking a deep breath and then squeezing my hand. "I know…you're right."

"I really wish I wasn't." I responded, letting the tears out.

Dean immediately wrapped me up in his arms and held me close to him, both of us feeling like _finally_ for the first time since he was back, we had been honest with each other…now I just had to find a way to break him into the Lilith situation…

**Notes: Again I am **_**so **_**sorry that this is short—the next chapter will be a lot longer and it'll be more fun (with some kind of angsty flashbacks, like the Sam and Dean talk about Dean enjoying the torturing), and I'm hoping to have it up in the next couple of days, but I'm not sure these days. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	81. The Hardest Decision

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter is nice and long, with comedy, flashbacks, angst, a cliffhanger, and a look into Kate and Lana that you really haven't seen before.**

**Also check out the "Untold Chapters" if you haven't already and read the new chapters, 'Johnny's First Birthday', 'Johnny's Second Christmas' and 'Halloween for Everyone'.**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Third Person**

Dean set the Impala keys down and took off his jacket, setting it on the coat rack hook near the door. He glanced into the living room, expecting Sam and Kate to still be there cuddling on the couch, but they were nowhere to be seen. All he had done was gone out for a drive to clear his head and he came back and the house seemed…empty—so he panicked. Just like that he was up the stairs and in the nursery, raising his eyebrows as Johnny slept there peacefully.

Then he checked Annie's room, her and Penn nowhere to be seen and he just shrugged a little and went into the bedroom. When Dean opened up the bedroom door, he was surprised to see Lana lying there on her side on top of the blankets, propped up on her hand in the lingerie that he liked so much. She just smiled at him, obviously having planned this and been waiting for him and it made him smirk a little bit.

"Good evening, Husband." Lana said, smiling at the smirk on his face. "I'm glad you finally came home."

Dean nodded slowly. "Yeah…I always come back."

"I know." Lana responded, smiling a little more and sitting up. "You're my husband, right?"

"Yes." Dean responded with a soft chuckle.

"And I'm your wife, right?" Lana asked again, her eyes on Dean.

Dean rolled his eyes playfully. "What's with all the obvious questions?"

Lana nodded slowly and bit her lip, Dean keeping his feet firmly planted where they were and trying to control himself. The lip biting and the pushing her bangs out of her eyes was enough to make him simply act on impulse, but he wanted her to get this off of her chest. It was obvious that like the whole night, she had a speech planned and he owed it to her to let her talk no matter the urges his body was feeling.

"We've been through a lot, me and you." Lana said, smiling at him fondly. "Lies, secrets, break-ups, dating other people, trying to just be friends—we've both even died and been brought back. We've had to cope with demons and with letting each other all the way in, and somehow we always managed to find our way back to each other. We got married, we have a son now that has demon blood in him just like I do…and even with the Apocalypse looming over our heads and the guilt and the anger and the sadness, we find a way to make this work every day."

Dean nodded slowly. "This is all true…"

"We deserve something normal don't we?" Lana asked him, nodding as he did. "Then let's have something normal, even if it's just for tonight. Sam and Kate are out with Annie and Penn so the house is empty, and Johnny is sleeping in his crib. Tonight, lets just be a husband and a wife spending some time together. I've missed you, Dean. We've been right next to each other for weeks and yet we've both been so far away and I want to fix this…I want to fix us before something happens that ruins us forever."

"I love you." Dean told her shrugging, finding suddenly that he had no words to say to her gesture that he needed so desperately right then.

She beamed and nodded as he made his way over to the bed, kicking off his shoes. "I love you too."

Lana smiled a little as Dean pressed his lips to hers, working to get his belt off. She bit his earlobe softly to make him stop and he paused, letting her get the belt off and then kissing him softly, nibbling on his jaw as she got his jeans off. Dean let her remove all of his clothes, and even let her push him down on the bed, straddling him and kissing him again, tucking her hair behind her ears as Dean cupped her face.

"So you're in charge, huh?" Dean asked her.

Lana laughed a little. "Yeah…right now."

"I'm good with this." Dean chuckled happily.

Lana laughed too and smiled at him, kissing him again and slipping off her outfit, glad to skip past the foreplay a bit. She and Dean had needed to have their skin brushing along each others…they'd needed to be able to make sure that they could still tune out the rest of the world. It made it all the more magical that they toppled over the edge at the same time and then just laid there, Dean on top, both of them trying to take deep breaths.

Lana ran her fingers along Dean's scalp as she ran her fingers through his hair, Dean's lips on the skin on the nape of her neck. They were both just lying there in silence, trying to catch their breaths, and then suddenly Dean chuckled and Lana smiled, running a hand down Dean's back and then back up his torso, resting it on his shoulder. He pulled back and pushed her bangs off of her damp forehead, kissing her softly and running his nose along hers as their bodies rested together.

"I got lucky with you." Dean whispered, kissing her gently again.

Lana smiled and shook her head slowly. "I don't really think so."

"Why would you say that?" Dean asked softly, kissing her. "As damaged and broken as I am…you stick by me. When I'm stupid, or I'm rash, or I'm—"

Lana cut him off by pressing her lips to his, wrapping her arms around him and holding him there, trying her hardest not to cry. He felt like _he_ was the lucky one and any moment Castiel could show up and tell her to go to Lilith and Dean would be left with Johnny…broken. _She_ was the one who had gotten lucky…_she_ was the one who didn't deserve the man that was lying there on top of here—she just felt like Dean could do so much better than her and yet there he was, thinking that _she_ had settled.

"I love you so much, Dean…_always_…no matter what." Lana told him, his forehead resting against hers. "I just want you to know that, all right? No matter what happens, or what I do, or what I say…I love you, and I will never _not_ protect and cherish you."

Dean took a deep breath. "What are you planning, Lana?"

"Just relax, okay?" Lana replied shaking her head. "I was just being mushy…we're being normal tonight, remember?"

Dean nodded slowly and decided not to push the issue, kissing Lana tenderly and then holding her close. They resituated a little and he held her close, stroking her hair and running his lips along her lips and her jaw line. He love her so much more than he'd ever loved anyone else, and when she started to put herself down it upset him…he was pretty certain that it upset her when he did the same thing. So he kissed her shoulder and ran her fingertips along her bare arm, both of them snuggled under the covers.

"So…is one time really normal?" Dean asked softly, nipping at her ear lobe.

Lana laughed and turned her head to look at him, only shifting a little. "Not for us, no…so I guess we should rectify this."

xxxx

Lana smiled at Dean as he lay there sleeping, running her fingers along his cheek and kissing his temple softly. She always enjoyed watching Dean sleep, and yet she wanted him up so that their day could start, and Lana had so much planned. At the same time, Lana had nothing planned and it made sense to her, but she knew it wouldn't make sense to her beautiful man.

"Wake up, Dean." Lana whispered softly, brushing her lips across his temple, smiling as he grunted in protest. "Come on…wake up, Birthday Boy."

Dean opened up one eye. "What?"

"Exactly two years ago today we reminisced about trust, bantered about finding each other, and we promised that through thick and thin we'd be by each others' sides." Lana explained, Dean taking her hand as she ran it along his shirted chest. "Then we had a little morning tryst and told each other how much we loved each other and just laid in bed all morning enjoying each other's company."

Dean smiled softly at her and nodded, remembering it all like it was yesterday. It was one of the _many_ moments where Lana proved to him that she cared and that she loved him and he really couldn't understand how he could ever doubt it. She was there for the long run and whether he thought she was safe with him or not, she was going to make sure that she was right by his side.

**Two Years Ago**

Dean grunted a little as Lana ran her hands along his chest and then he smirked a little bit when she nipped at his ear. He had to admit that he was incredibly happy about having Lana this close to him because it was fun—it was all about the fun. They were finally being honest with each other and Dean enjoyed being able to get some…he wasn't going to lie about that.

"Happy Birthday." Lana whispered to him, kissing his lips softly.

Dean opened up his eyes and raised his eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"It's January 24th, Silly Goose. Someone is another year older." Lana explained to him, kissing his nose and then kissing his lips swiftly. "Wanna hear my plans for celebration?"

"How did you know it was my birthday?" Dean asked her, yawning a little and then propping himself up on his hand. "I don't remember telling you."

Lana smiled at him and stroked his cheek, snuggling close to him and smiling a little more when he cupped her face and ran his thumb along her cheek. He leaned close and ran his nose along hers avoiding her lips every time Lana went to capture his with her own and Lana made a face that just seemed to make him grin a little more each time. He wanted to hear what she had to say even though he knew it was going to be mushy…even though he knew that Lana wanted to get the day under-way.

"Remember that demon before I met your father?" Lana asked him, biting her lip and looking at his eyes as he glanced at her mouth and smiled a little, nodding, her following his nod. "Well…that was a pretty monumental day for us."

Dean looked her in the eye. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Lana admitted nodding. "That was the first time that you let me touch John's journal."

_It didn't make any sense to Lana that this demon wasn't something she'd come into contact with before, and Lana was even more surprised when Dean ran his hand down his face and handed John's journal over to her. He had __**never**__, not once given the journal to her in the past, and Lana was flattered. It was taking him long enough to even admit that he wanted to be with her, but this was just another step towards where Lana wanted them to be and she didn't want to ruin it._

"_You sure?" Lana asked him._

_Dean smiled a little and nodded. "Yeah…it's not gonna bite."_

_Dean __**knew **__this was a big step, but he __**wanted **__to take it and Lana smiled at him and nodded, looking at the worn, thick journal and taking in the moment before opening it up as Dean started to use her laptop, Sam at the library. He was taking to using Lana's things more often these days, but he was trying not to let it show too much that he wanted her around…not in exactly so many words. Dean was afraid of their budding relationship, and so was Lana. Still, it was almost like fate had other options when Lana opened up the journal and the first page Lana flipped to, was a January 24th entry—Dean's birthday._

"I read that entry first—you were 12. It said: 'Dean turns twelve today. School has started again, but we're going to move on. Next week, the Winchesters are going to be residents of Albuquerque. Dean's going to be a normal sixth grader for at least the next couple of months. He even talked about wanting to play baseball this spring, but I'm not sure he's serious. I think he's taking his cues from me, talking about everyday stuff when I try to keep us in one place. Then when we're on the road again, all he can talk about is hunting'." Lana said with a shrug. "I just…then I flipped to the page at hand, but it was a big moment for me, and I still think about it every once in a while. Since that day, I've always remembered your birthday…you know…even though this is the first one that we get together."

Lana blushed a little as Dean's look changed, but he kissed her suddenly, pulling her close to him and Lana smiled into it, just happy to be in his arms and accepted. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer to her, stroking his hair and then pulling back a little, Dean making a face in protest again. Dean and Lana were happy to be spending the time together, and Lana kissed him again before pulling back and opening up her mouth to say something, Dean cutting her off before she had even gotten out her full first word.

"I can't believe that you cherished it so much, Baby." Dean whispered, kissing her mouth gently and starting to slip his hand up her shirt. "Best birthday ever."

Lana smiled at him as he cupped her breast. "Even better than when you were fourteen and had that girlfriend…Katie?"

"I'm never letting you read that journal again." Dean teased, sighing when she avoided his mouth. "What?"

"Best birthday ever?" Lana asked him again.

"Best birthday ever." Dean replied and kissed her again, smiling as she kissed him back, helping him to help her out of her pajamas.

**Present**

Dean glanced at Lana and they made eye contact. "I remember."

Lana smiled too. "Happy Birthday, Baby."

Dean kissed his wife happily and then chuckled a little as he went to pull off her tank top, the baby monitor going off. Lana laughed a bit too and then the two of them got up and went into the nursery, both of them smiling at him as he smiled back at them, standing up in his crib holding onto the side. He reached out for his mother and she scooped him up into her arms and blew on his stomach, Dean rustling his hair. The three of them laughed together and then went downstairs, eating some breakfast and then handing Johnny over to Kate and Sam for the day.

Lana dragged Dean out the door and they took her car to a nice, quaint little bar a good thirty minute drive out, Lana sighing when they got there. She had had plans and she wanted Dean to relax and unwind and think about normal things, but Kate had called with a hunt…on Dean's birthday…and Sam was backing her up. It was almost like Lana couldn't catch a break and she was _determined_ to at least get this one thing in…just this _one_ thing in…

She and Dean found a table to sit at and then Dean poured over a newspaper article that he found on Lana's laptop. Lana took a breath and then went to talk to the man in charge of the open mic that day and he let her up on the stage, Lana smiling and tapping the microphone once, hearing it echo a little. Suddenly half of the people in the bar and diner looked up at her and she smiled, waving a little and then setting in to her little spiel.

"So I brought my workaholic husband here to unwind because I thought, 'Hey, open mic—he'll enjoy that', and instead he decided to slave away." Lana began, Dean looking up immediately and realizing that his wife was up on the stage. "I'm not the only woman in here with a workaholic husband, am I right?" She asked, hands shooting up and woman laughing and shaking their heads, Dean glancing around, a small smirk appearing on his face. "Yeah…I figured there were others. Today actually happens to be my beautiful husband's birthday and I know I've come here before and felt relaxed—Hell I even skipped school a time or two back in High School to come in here with my boyfriend."

Dean made a face when she said that, immediately picturing Lance in his mind's eye and then giving Lana a look. It was _his_ _birthday_ and the woman that he loved was mentioning her ex-boyfriend that had _proposed_ to her after they graduated High School. Still, he knew that she had more to say than just that, and he thought it was kind of adorable that she had gotten up on stage just to get his attention.

"Awww, see, _now_ he's giving me that look—the ex is a poor subject for him." Lana said, receiving some laughs, and smiling a little. "But where were we? Oh, yeah—I brought him here to relax and he brought his work with him. Don't you smile at me right now, beautiful husband of mine…right now I'm not finding you as irresistible as I normally do."

Dean smirked at her. "So do you know any jokes, or are you just going to stand up there and look adorable?"

"This is what I married." Lana responded, looking right at him as a couple of the men laughed and some of the women 'awwwed'. "He thinks he's like the most adorable person and that he can get by on his good looks and charm. I'm _really_ hoping that our son ends up taking after me."

Dean chuckled and then bantered with her a little, Lana getting a whole routine in and they got laughter and applause and when she sat back down at the table with Dean and he kissed her, he smirked at the couple of whistles that they got. She was trying to make his birthday special and memorable and that was how it was turning out. So he took her home after they had a couple of drinks and ate some food, both of them heading straight upstairs, crashing their lips together and pulling at each other's clothes.

"Best birthday ever." Dean whispered to her.

Lana laughed infectiously. "A little less talk and a lot more action, please."

"Yep…best birthday ever." Dean responded, pulling his shirt off over his head and flopping back on the bed.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"So let me just make this clear—you're only coming on this hunt because…you want to help save the kids?" Dean asked me as I packed up a duffel, Johnny on the bed with his coat on, trying to be helpful and handing me bunches of socks and some shirts, me smiling at him and putting them in the duffel, putting some of his toys in another one.

He was 1 now, and his first birthday had been a success and I felt like he was all the more aware of things now. Neither of us wanted Dean to run off by himself, and though to be fair Kate and Sam would be there with him, I just couldn't bear the thought of wasting time away from Dean right now. I wanted to spend time with both of my boys before Castiel showed up to make me leave…maybe Dean felt like he was being suffocated…

"Do you not _want_ me to go?" I asked him, sighing when he gave me a look. "Okay, bad wording choice, I admit because I _know_ you don't want me hunting and taking Johnny with me, but…no, you know what? I'm going. End of discussion."

Dean sighed. "You're going to throw that in my face every once in a while forever aren't you?"

"Oh you mean like how in front of _everyone_ you told me that our discussion was over when Anna was around? Um…yes…yes, I think so." I responded, handing Johnny his teddy bear. "Let's just go to this Truman High, figure out what's up, solve it and then come back…all right?"

"All right." Dean told me, nodding, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close. "It was a good birthday yesterday, you know…"

"I'm glad to hear that." I said, kissing him gently. "Now help me pack up the car, okay?"

Dean nodded and stole a kiss from me, picking up the duffels as I picked up Johnny, and we headed downstairs. Annie and Penn sent us off on our way, Kate, Sam, Dean, Johnny and I just heading out, it taking us two days to get to our destination. Kate and Sam decided that for splitting up, I was going with Sam and Kate and Dean were going to wait in the car for us.

The victim's name was April, and right when we started to talk to her about how she felt like she was possessed and couldn't control herself, I felt pain in my head. So I excused myself and made up a lame excuse, heading out into the hall and seeing Castiel looking at me. Then he slowly went into an empty room in the institute and I followed him in there, shaking my head and looking him in the eye.

"No…no not right now." I told him. "Let us finish this hunt first—I'm not in a position to just pick up and leave."

Castiel gave me a look. "This is the task that you promised to accomplish, Lana…you can't back out now."

"I'm not backing out." I said quickly, really needing him to understand that I was on his side and I would follow my orders. "I'm not backing out…I just want more time, all right? I want to get them through this hunt and then as soon as it's over, I will go straight to Lilith…I promise."

Castiel nodded and then just like that he was gone, me leaving the empty room and running into Sam. He hadn't heard anything—he had _just_ left April's room—and he reached out to stroke my hair, asking if my head was okay. I just nodded and told him that it was just a sharp pain and it was gone now, and so we headed out to Kate and Dean, Kate a little excited about it all.

"So Sam and Dean went to Truman High once upon a time." Kate said merrily, Dean rolling his eyes as Johnny played with one of his light up toys. "They were only there for a month, but they were there—I even came up with a plan."

Sam laughed a little. "That's my girl—always coming up with a plan. Good thing too because she didn't see black smoke _or_ smell sulfur…we have to go to the High School in order to figure out what's going on here."

xxxx

**Third Person**

"Wait, so…the way she talked about it, it seemed like possession…but no sulfur?" Dean asked aloud.

Sam shook his head. "No sulfur, no black smoke."

"Right…Truman High…home of the Bombers." Dean said, and he didn't sound too excited about it.

"You sound like you're annoyed." Lana told him, getting into the backseat and kissing Johnny's temple.

Dean shrugged. "I just mean that Sam and I went there like…for a month a million years ago. I'm not entirely jazzed to be back."

"A girl dumped you, didn't she?" Lana asked him.

Dean glanced at her in the rear view mirror and Lana realized that she could have never been more right. He had felt some feelings for a girl and had done something to push her away and she had let herself be pushed away. It made Lana think about Lance a little bit…think about how if it hadn't been for the death of her parents she never would have told him she wouldn't marry him…_then_ how would things have been?

**Lawrence, Kansas, 2002**

Lana smiled as Bethany and Marcus kissed the top of her head, sending her off to school. She got into Lance's car and leaned across the middle of the front of the car, kissing him softly. He smiled and kissed her back, then waited until she was buckled to pull out of the driveway. They enjoyed carpooling and Lana felt incredibly safe and secure whenever she was with Lance so it was always a plus. What she didn't know, was that Lance was already planning on asking her to marry him.

"So there's a math test today." Lana told Lance, checking her eyebrows and her hair in the mirror as Lance drove.

He chuckled and nodded. "Yeah…yeah, I know. You're going to do great."

"Of course I'm going to do great." Lana responded with a laugh. "I'm a whiz at math."

"I'm surprised at how many things you _are_ a whiz at actually," Lance told her, parking in the school parking lot. "There's a Physics test today too."

Lana made a face as Lance opened up her car door for her and then shut it once she was out. "Ew…now physics I'm not fond of."

"I know." Lance said, kissing her softly and smiling as she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him again. "Well, good morning, Lan."

"Good morning." Lana told him with a grin on her face. "Date night tomorrow night?"

Lance nodded in agreement and then took her hand, both of them heading into the school and smiling at Jen and Kevin. Jen and Lana split off from the boys and hey headed straight to their homeroom, sitting next to each other and smiling as they chatted about their English homework the night before. After English and Statistics, Lana got a note that made her head down to the office and it was like her entire world changed in a moment—Bethany and Marcus had died in a house fire.

**Present**

"So…how was Truman High?" Kate asked, pulling Lana out of her thoughts.

**Truman High, 1997**

John Winchester stopped the Impala in front of the high school to drop Sam and Dean off. Dean got out of the car followed by Sam, Sam with a backpack slung over his shoulder and Dean in his leather jacket ready to just fly by on charms.

"Thanks, Dad." Dean said before his father left. "Books? Butterfly knife?"

Sam sighed a little. "Yeah, Dean."

"You okay?" Dean asked him.

"Sure." Sam answered.

"Sammy…" Dean tried, knowing that his brother was lying to him.

Sam took a deep breath. "I mean, look, this is the third school we've been to this year, and it's only November. I'm just sick of always being the new kid."

"You'll be fine. If anyone gives you any trouble, you let me know." Dean told him, Sam shaking his head. "Relax. Dad said this hunt will take him two weeks, tops. As soon as he gets back, we're out of here."

"To another school…awesome," Sam added and he headed for the entrance to the high school.

The bell had just rung and the literature teacher introduced Sam to his new classmates while Dean's history teacher introduced him. Sam was polite while Dean was a smartass, noticing a really pretty blonde named Amanda, who seemed to think he was cute…and charming. A boy with think glasses, named Barry, became fast friends with Sam and Sam even stood up for Barry, who was being bullied by a boy named, Dirk.

**Present**

"Pretty blonde, eh? Wonder if she still lives around here?" Lana asked Dean.

Dean shot her a look. "You're not as adorable as I think you normally are."

Lana just laughed a little and held her hands up in the air, all of them heading for the school and doing Kate's plan—integrate into the High School. After some hacking, Dean became the new P.E. Teacher, Sam became the janitor, Kate became the lady in the front office, and Lana became the substitute English teacher for one class—she got to have two study periods, which was helpful with Johnny.

"He's just so cute!" A girl told Lana as she grabbed her bag to exit the class. "And so quiet."

Lana smiled as Johnny smiled at the girl. "Yeah…if substituting today hadn't been so last minute, I'd have had a babysitter for him…but he's a good boy."

The girl smiled and left the room, Lana taking advantage of her study period and heading to see what Dean was doing to torture the Freshmen. When she got into the gym, she saw that Dean had the students all lined up, and he was giving them a little speech.

"Today, you will have the honor of playing one of the greatest games ever invented. A game of skill, agility, cunning. A game with one simple rule…dodge." Dean explained, throwing a ball at a student who caught it in the stomach and doubled over in pain. "Sorry."

Lana put her hand to her mouth as Johnny giggled. "What a role model."

"Uh, substitute Coach Roth?" Another student asked raising his hand.

"Yes?" Dean asked him.

"Ms. Boudreaux never let us play dodge ball." The kid explained.

"Well, Ms. B's in Massachusetts getting married, so we're playing." Dean responded, putting the whistle to his lips and winking at Lana when he saw her over near the door.

The student shook his head. "She says it's dangerous."

Dean blew the whistle however, then made the kid take a lap around the gym. When he protested again, Dean blew the whistle again and then smiled at Lana when she rolled her eyes and laughed. She didn't see why the kid was being punished so, but at the same time she understood her husband.

"Go nuts." Dean told the kids, handing them the netted sack of balls, and then he walked over to Lana and kissed her softly. "How goes English?"

Lana smiled. "English is an incredibly easy class to teach for just one day…we're doing creative writing and sharing poems. How about you? You having fun?"

"The whistle makes me their god." Dean replied with a grin on his face.

"I'm loving the red shorts and the sweat band." I told him, handing Johnny over as Sam came into the gym. "Find anything?"

Sam shook his head. "I've been over the entire school twice. No sulfur."

"No sulfur, no demon. No demon, no case." Dean said shrugging.

"No…no something is definitely here, I just don't know what it is." Lana responded and Dean sighed.

"Fine," Dean said and then he, Sam and Lana all looked over at a student who just got hurt, Johnny laying his head on his mother's shoulder. "Good hustle, Colby!" Dean exclaimed as the kid went past him, a hand over his nose. "Walk it off!"

Lana rolled her eyes again and kissed Dean swiftly, heading out with Johnny back to her class. She felt like something was happening though, so she headed towards the cooking class, just in time to see one kid ripping another kids' fist to shreds with an appliance. Handing Johnny over to Sam who showed up too, the kid doing the damage fainted and then woke up shortly after wondering what had happened…ectoplasm was leaking out of his ear and Lana swallowed.

xxxx

There was an emergency assembly that Kate, Lana, Dean and Sam got out of, talking about what they could possibly do about this. An angry ghost was possessing people and getting revenge, but who and why? Lucky for them all, Kate found an article about a kid named Barry Cook who committed suicide by slashing his wrists in the girls' bathroom—the same place where the first attack had happened.

"Back in '98?" Sam asked as he looked at the paper. "I knew him…"

Dean nodded slowly. "So this Barry kid is possessing nerds and getting back at bullies?"

"That's what it looks like." Sam said nodding.

"Does that sound like Barry's M.O.?" Kate asked delicately, holding Sam's hand and squeezing it reassuringly.

Sam took a breath. "Barry had a hard time."

**Truman High, 1997**

While Barry was walking alone in the hallway, one of the sportsmen made his books fall, which made the students around him laugh. Nobody else but Sam helped him, helping him to pick his books up.

"Thanks, Sam." Barry told him.

Sam shook his head. "Great school."

"I don't care. Three years, and I'm out of here. I'm going to Michigan State. They got the best vet program in the country." Barry explained to him.

"Do you like animals?" Sam asked him.

"They're a lot nicer than people." Barry replied and Sam nodded in agreement.

Meanwhile, Dean was in the janitor's closet making out with Amanda Heckerling, who was already quite taken with him. He was glad to be around her, but at the same time, Dean Winchester did _not _get attached because he saw it as a weakness.

"So tonight I'm thinking you, me, a bucket of popcorn, extra butter…" Dean told her.

She smiled at him. "Mm, kinky."

"…and the midnight screening of _**I Spit on Your Grave**_ at the Cinedome." Dean finished, a big grin on his face.

"I can't. I have a curfew…at 11:00." She told him, a smile on her face though, glad to be asked anyway.

Dean shrugged. "So?"

"So…if I break it, my folks will ground me for a month." She explained to him, giving him a look like he should get that.

"Yeah, parents. Terrifying," He responded, kissing her again.

She smiled and returned the kiss. "Mm-hmm. Well, when's your curfew?"

"I don't have one." He told her.

"Your parents just let you stay out all night, don't they?" She asked incredulously.

Dean could tell that this was a girl who was not only close to her parents, but confused that parents wouldn't want to know where their children were every second of every day. She was brought up well and she adhered to rules and Dean was the _exact_ opposite—he did what he wanted, when he wanted and that was that.

"My dad's out of town on a job. It's just me and my brother." Dean explained to her.

Her smile started to fade. "For how long?"

"Couple of weeks." Dean responded with a shrug.

"Seriously?" She asks surprised.

"Yeah, we got a pretty sweet setup at the Pines." Dean told her.

That made Amanda raise her eyebrows even more because as great as the freedom sounded to her, it sounded lonely as well. She wondered how a boy could be so okay with his Dad being gone for so long…did he really just _not_ care?

"The motel?" She asked him.

"Mm-Hmm. HBO, magic fingers, free ice…it's great." Dean told her.

Amanda nodded slowly. "Yeah…I guess…"

"What?" Dean asked her, feeling like she actually cared and it was scaring him. "I do whatever I want, whenever I want. It's perfect."

"Yeah, but…don't you miss your dad?" Amanda asked him sincerely.

Dean looked at her and knew that he did, but he would never tell _Amanda_ that—that would be getting too close to her. At the same time, it would be nice to just get to kiss her some more to get his mind off of things. So he just kissed her again and then they went out of the closet and Amanda kissed Dean again, then went off to class and Dean followed her, seeing Sam walking with Barry.

"Yo! Sammy!" Dean exclaimed before continuing on his way.

"That's your brother with Amanda Heckerling?" Barry asked Sam, who nodded, and Barry was impressed. "He's cool."

Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah…he thinks so."

"Hey, tough guy," Dirk shouted at him at the bend in the hallway. "I've been looking for you. Still want to take Barry's place?"

"Get out of here, Barry." Sam told Barry.

"I'll go get a teacher." Barry answered before leaving.

Dirk looked at Sam. "You want to go?"

"I'm not gonna fight you, Dirk." Sam told him shaking his head.

"Why not? You chicken? Come on!" He insisted while the other students started watching them.

"No," Sam responded, and while he was about to leave, Dirk caught hold of his arm and turned him around, punching him.

"Get up!" Dirk shouted while Sam lie there on the floor, able to get up and stand up for himself, but choosing not to. "Get up! Come on! Get up!"

"Hey, get back! Get back," the literature teacher ordered him as he arrived. "That is enough."

**Present**

Kate, Lana, Sam and Dean went to salt and burn Barry's bones, Sam looking incredibly down and guilty. Lana smiled sadly at him and took one of his hands with the free hand that wasn't holding Johnny, and Kate held his other one. Dean noted the sad look on his brother's face and took a deep breath.

"You all right?" Dean asked him.

Sam kept looking at the grave. "Barry was my friend…and I just burned his bones."

"Well, he's at peace now, Sam." Dean tried.

"I mean, if Dad had let us stay just a little while longer, maybe I could have helped the kid, you know?" Sam offered, Kate leaning against him and smiling a little as he squeezed her hand to let her know that he was glad she was there for him.

"You read the coroner's report same as me. Barry was on every anxiety drug and antidepressant known to man. School was Hell for that kid. His parents had split up. He just wanted out. It was tragic, but it's not your fault." Dean explained to him, Lana feeling herself getting lost in thought again. "To tell you the truth, I'm glad we got out of that town. I hated that school."

Lana looked at him. "I dunno…you had Amanda and she cared about you."

"That didn't last." Dean replied to her, and Lana noted the slight pain and she understood it…it was the same when she thought about her and Lance sometimes.

**Lawrence, Kansas, 2002**

Lance wrapped his arms around Lana as she sat there, stunned, staying at Jen's while her house was rebuilt. It was two months away from graduation and Lana's life had completely changed in an instant. To top it all off, Lana _knew_ that it was a message for her…she _knew_ that Bethany and Marcus had been murdered to get to her because she knew she was special…she just didn't understand it.

"They're still trying to get a hold of my birth mother." Lana said, brushing a single tear off of her cheek, Lance kissing the top of her head. "I don't think she's coming back. She ran scared after everything with Annie."

Lance nodded slowly and kissed her head again. "Sweetheart, I know…but she wouldn't just abandon you now."

"Why not? That's what she's good at." Lana responded, tucking hair behind her ears and leaning against Lance. "I'm 18 now, anyway…maybe I should just embrace that I was born to be a hunter."

"You don't believe that, Lan." Lance told her, not able to find the words to say when she looked up at him, eyes red and puffy. "Sweetheart…"

"It's okay, Lance…you don't have to know what to say." Lana told him, kissing him softly. "I'm fine."

Lance didn't believe her, but he held her close and stroked her hair as she reveled in his warmth. She was glad that she had people to count on and talk to, but she knew that everything was different and she knew that all of her plans for the future had changed. She and Lance didn't have the same relationship anymore and she didn't want to just cling onto him when she had to figure out her life—it wasn't fair to him. He wanted to go to college and move out of Kansas and suddenly all Lana wanted to do was hunt…was to rebuild her house the way it had been before…and just hunt.

**Present**

"You okay, Lanni?" Dean asked suddenly, Lana being pulled out of her thoughts again.

She smiled a little and shook it off. "What? Yeah...yeah, I'm fine…I just need to make a phone call."

She handed Johnny over to Dean and then walked towards the Impala, Sam explaining to Kate about how he didn't want to start anything in High School. Dean didn't want to meet Amanda's parents or get to deep into the relationship, and Sam just wanted to get away from Dirk…but at the same time he wanted to be part of a school and _not _always be the new kid.

He was rather fond of his literature teacher who had called him on an essay he'd written about a werewolf. It had been the truth but his teacher had thought that Sam was just trying to be cute since he wasn't staying forever, and still gave him an 'A'. He felt like Sam was a good kid, and that he was good at writing, and when he realized how accurately Sam was describing his family, he was interested in Sam as a person.

**Truman High, 1997**

"Well, your brother is quite a character." Mr. Wyatt told Sam. "And your father…he seems, uh, driven. Anyway, it's good, Sam. It's really good. Have you ever thought about pursuing writing?"

Sam shook his head. "I can't. I have to go into the family business."

"Family business?" Mr. Wyatt asked him.

"Yeah, my dad's a…my dad's a mechanic. So I have to be a mechanic, too." Sam answered, knowing he couldn't say he was a hunter.

"Do you want to go in the family business, Sam?" Mr. Wyatt asked Sam, noting the tone in Sam's voice.

Sam looked at him curiously. "No one's ever asked me that before."

"Well?" Mr. Wyatt asked again.

Sam realized that for the first time in his life he was able to entertain the thought of _not_ hunting forever. His teacher genuinely wanted to know what _he_, _Sam Winchester_, wanted to do and Sam thought it over. What did he want to do? Did Sam _want_ to hunt?

"More than anything, no." Sam answered honestly.

Mr. Wyatt nodded slowly. "Well…I don't want to overstep my bounds here, but…you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Look, I mean, I know what it's like. Okay? I come from a family of surgeons, and that wasn't me. So, you know, I traded in the money and prestige of being a doctor for all the glamour you see around you. But the point is…there may be three or four big choices that shape someone's whole life, and you need to be the one that makes them, not anyone else. You seem like a great kid, Sam. Just live the life you want to live."

**Present**

Dean walked away from Kate and Sam as Kate tried to console him, catching the conversation that Lana was having on her cell phone. Sam and Kate headed towards the motel so that they could sleep, knowing that they'd come back because Sam wanted to talk to Mr. Wyatt before they took off. But what Lana was doing…Dean was less than okay about it even though he knew that his feelings about screwing up things with Amanda would make her think about how she screwed things up with Lance.

"So basically your little brother showed back up looking for a place to crash and he won't look for a job?" Lana asked him, laughing a little. "Well that definitely sounds eventful. How is the new job?"

Lana shrugged as he sat on the couch in his house. "The new job is good—so is the new girlfriend."

"I'm dying to meet her, so next time I'm in Kansas can we _please_ meet up?" Lana asked him.

"Of course we can, Lan—I would _never_ say 'no' to you…well almost never." Lance responded laughing.

Lana smiled and nodded, looking over at Dean. "Well, my boys both look a little tired so I'm going to get them back to the motel and we'll talk later okay?"

"Sounds perfect." Lance answered, smiling and then looking up as his younger brother entered the room with some popcorn. "Goodnight, Lan-Bon."

"Goodnight, Lance." Lana replied and then she hung up the phone and bit her lip as she looked at Dean. "Sorry…it just got me to thinking and I thought I'd check in. Lance has a new girlfriend he's been hording away and we're invited to dinner with them next time we're back in Kansas…what do you say? I mean I _know_ that you hate him, but he hasn't seem Johnny since he was born and I want to be supportive of him since he's always been supportive of me."

"I get it, Lanni." Dean told her.

He really _did_ get it, and _that_ was what was driving him so crazy—that and he had always expected Lance and Lana to get back together. To be perfectly honest, Dean had expected Lance to try and help Lana to get through Dean's death, and then they'd get together, get married like they would have had Dean not come into her life, and then they'd raise Johnny together. When none of that happened, Dean felt solid about the relationship that he and Lana had rekindled and now…now all he could think about was how Amanda always cared and he pushed her away and Lana owed Lance…Dean knew that.

After kissing Lana back when she kissed him and took Johnny from him, they followed Kate and Sam to the motel and they all went to sleep. Then in the morning they got dressed and went to the school, Sam heading in to talk to Mr. Wyatt, but a student named Jennifer stopped him…stopped him, asked him a question and then she hit him. Kate was right next to his side and went for her, getting salt in her mouth, ectoplasm leaking out of it. Then the demon left Jennifer's body and she fainted into Sam's arms.

The two went straight to Lana and Dean to explain what had happened and Lana sighed loudly. She tried to explain to them that it just must not have been Barry, and then she got the pain in her head again. Castiel wanted her to leave and he wanted her to do it soon, but she wasn't ready…not now…not yet. They were so close and once they found the school bus after some more research, they found that the EMF was off the charts.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute," Kate said suddenly, showing Sam and Dean the registration of the bus driver. "Dirk McGregor, Sr. 39 North Central Avenue…remind anyone of anything?"

Sam looked at her. "Yeah…I knew his son."

"Did you know everybody at this school?" Dean asked him, knowing that other than Amanda and girl he didn't ever bother to get the name from he knew no one.

Sam looked at him and explained about how he and Dirk got into a fight when Sam tried to protect Barry, and ended up overpowering him. He had been trained by a hunter to _be_ a hunter and it seemed like for once in his life, Sam was standing up for himself and doing what _he_ believed, not just following someone else. He called Dirk, Dirk the Jerk, and he hadn't meant to hurt Dirk…he had just always been sensitive about being called a Freak. It had hurt Dirk and Sam knew it, but at the time they were just 15 year olds and Sam thought that Dirk was deserved to be put in his place.

"We should visit Mr. McGregor." Lana offered, handing Johnny a bottle while she held him. "I think that Sam and Dean can handle this."

Dean smiled and looked at Sam. "You can take Kate if you want to."

"Let's just get this over with." Sam explained, dropping Kate's hand slowly.

Kate agreed that it was something that Dean needed to do with his brother and so she went with Lana to the motel to look after Johnny. The two of them sat around and Lana felt a bit of a headache coming back, Sam and Dean talking to Mr. McGregor, who told them that Dirk passed when he was 18. It was definitely his spirit that was causing all of the trouble, and Sam felt bad because his 'Dirk the Jerk' nickname had caught on and plagued Dirk up until he ODed.

"And after what happened to his mother, he—" Mr. McGregor explained.

Sam looked at him. "His mother?"

"Yeah, Jane, my wife. She died when Dirk was 13. Cancer. I was working three jobs, so it fell to Dirk to take care of her. And he was a great kid," Mr. McGregor explained and Sam noticed a picture of Dirk smiling on the mantle place of the chimney. "He made sure Jane got her medicine. He helped her, cleaned up after her. But, you know, you…you watch somebody die slow, waste away to nothing…it does things to a person. Horrible things."

"I didn't know about his mother." Sam admitted slowly.

Mr. McGregor nodded slowly. "He…he wouldn't talk about her, not even to me. Lot of anger in that boy."

"I'm sorry." Sam said honestly.

"Well, we'd really like to pay our respects, Mr. McGregor." Dean intervened, trying to get the job done. "Um, you mind telling us where Dirk is buried?"

"Oh, he wasn't. I had him cremated." Mr. McGregor explained.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "All of him?"

"Well, I kept a lock of his hair." Mr. McGregor admitted.

"Oh, that's…that's nice. Where do you keep that?" Dean asked him.

Mr. McGregor gave him a look. "On my bus, in my bible."

Sam and Dean nodded and paid their respects to Mr. McGregor again, heading back to the girls and waiting until nightfall to go to the bus. Lana stayed back with Johnny in the motel room because the headache was getting worse and worse, and she knew that it was just going to get worse until she left. She just wanted to hold out until Sam, Dean and Kate came back to tell her that the job was done and then she could leave…but not until then…not until then.

"Dirk!" Sam called out and Eddie, the bus driver right then, turned to him, Sam pointing the shotgun at him.

He smirked a little. "Winchester. What are you gonna do, shoot me?"

"Don't need to," Sam answered, Dean arriving behind Eddie and putting the salt water soaked rope around his arms as Kate got into the bus.

She had to get to the Bible to get to the hair and burn it, but when she opened up the Bible Eddie taunted her from outside and told her she wouldn't find it. He'd hidden it somewhere else and somehow gotten out of the rope when Dean got startled, Kate trying to rack her brain for answers. She was a witch and a damn good hunter…the answer _should _have been staring her in the face—and then it came to her.

"It's on him." Kate said suddenly, getting out of the bus. "We could set him ablaze, or figure out where he would have hidden it on him."

Sam nodded slowly. "We're not setting him ablaze. I'm not evil and neither is he—he's just upset. Kids are cruel and bad things happened to him while he was already having a bad time…but this needs to end…you're still hurting people, Dirk."

"Where would he hide it? Where?" Kate asked, tucking hair behind her ears. "I know."

She went for his feet, Dirk trying to kick her away, but Dean held him back with a better hold and Kate got his shoe over, finding the hair inside of it and burning it. Sam looked at her once it was over and he kissed her softly, Dean telling them it was time to clean up a bit and then head back to the motel. All of this facing his past made him want to go back to talk to Lana because Sam had been practically cheered out of the school even though he had to leave his new friend Barry behind to be alone again.

The three of them went back to the motel and Johnny was sleeping, Kate and Sam heading out to a bar to unwind a little. Sam had a lot to think about and a lot to tell Kate and Dean wanted to come clean too. Dean was a little worried when he saw Lana washing some Ibuprofen down with a bottle of water and when he ran his hands along her shoulders and her arms, kissing the back of her head.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Dean asked her.

Lana shook her head. "It's okay…what do you want to talk to me about?"

"Look…you were right, okay? I didn't want to come back here because when I left Truman all that Amanda left me with was pity." Dean explained slowly. "I was afraid of how much she cared about me…how much she believed in me. She was willing to see past me pretending I didn't care but that scared me and so I cheated on her. I made-out with another girl in our janitor closet and I was pretty much the laughing stock of the Seniors. Sammy, he made friends and he stood up for himself and I was just an insecure ass."

"Baby, that's nothing to be ashamed of." Lana explained to him, sitting on the end of the bed and resisting the urge to rub her temples, stroking Dean's cheek as he sat down too. "You were raised to be a hunter…you were raised to push people away…you shouldn't apologize for that. You ended up able to let someone else in and that's all that matters in the long run. You've grown _so _much since High School…I admire you for that."

Dean swallowed and nodded. "You have that look in your eye—you're sad."

"Yeah…yeah, Baby…I am." Lana admitted, glancing over at Johnny as he made a noise, knowing that something was coming. "This was a _really_ hard decision for me to make, but I had to make it, all right? I have to go to Lilith and I have to take care of this now because there's no other choice. I'm the only way we can do this…take care of Johnny."

"Lana you don't have to do this! Think about this!" Dean said quickly, suddenly feeling more lost and scared than he'd ever felt before.

"It's the only way to keep you safe—it's just…it's the only way." Lana said, tears in her eyes, and Dean knew she didn't want to, but she'd made up her mind.

"Don't do this! Don't leave me!" Dean told her, shaking his head and feeling the tears come as Johnny got fussy.

Lana took a deep breath. "I love you, Baby…take care of Johnny."

With that Lana popped right out of the motel, Johnny bursting into tears and Dean feeling like he'd just lost everything. There wasn't even enough of an explanation and suddenly she was gone just like that and Dean didn't know when or if she was coming back…he felt sick. He felt like he had just had half of him ripped out, and his heart hurt…and Johnny saying 'Momma' didn't help the situation any at all.

xxxx

Kate went with Sam back to the school the next morning, Dean spending time with Johnny and trying to reach Lana on her cell phone. No one had been able to get a hold of her and Dean was starting to wonder if she was dead or not. She felt like she was doing what needed to be done, but what if Lilith didn't believe her? What if she was dead already?

"Uh, Mr. Wyatt?" Sam asked entering his class room.

Mr. Wyatt looked up from his desk. "Yes."

"You probably don't remember me, um, but my name is Sam Winchester, and I just wanted to thank you." Sam told him, Kate entering but just leaning on the door frame.

"For?" Mr. Wyatt asked him.

"I was a student here, and you gave me some advice once." Sam explained to him.

Mr. Wyatt stood up as he was taking it all in, trying to remember and nodding. "Winchester, right. Right. Yeah. You, uh…you wrote that horror story."

Sam smiled and nodded when Mr. Wyatt smiled at him and stood up to shake his hand, Kate smiling at them. She knew how much it meant to Sam for someone to actually care about what he wanted and she was glad that the teacher remembered him.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did. Yeah, it's kind of all been one long horror story." Sam admitted with a small laugh.

Mr. Wyatt looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing. Sorry." Sam told him, shaking his head.

"So, what was this advice? I might need to plagiarize myself down the line." Mr. Wyatt told him with a smile.

Sam nodded at that. "You told me that I didn't have to go into the family business. You said I should make my own choices."

"So you've managed to do your own thing, then, huh?" Mr. Wyatt asked him.

"Yeah, for a while, yeah. And I think I went to college because of you." Sam admitted and then he shrugged a little. "But, you know, people grow up."

Mr. Wyatt nodded at that. "Yeah."

"Responsibilities." Sam added nodding. "But still, um…you took an interest in me when no one else did. That matters, so thank you."

Mr. Wyatt smiled at him. "Well, you know, the only thing that really matters is that you're happy. Are you happy, Sam?"

Sam thought about it a moment and then looked at Kate who kind of smiled sadly at him, taking in all of the emotions in the two mens' voices. She knew that he was still finding his way and the fact that he smiled at her as Mr. Wyatt followed Sam's gaze made her whole heart warm.

"Yeah…yeah I think I will be." Sam admitted. "This is Kate…she's my fiancé."

Kate smiled and entered the room, shaking Mr. Wyatt's hand. "Nice to meet you. I've actually heard a lot about you."

"I'm glad I could help." Mr. Wyatt admitted, smiling a little as Kate took Sam's hand. "I wish you both the best."

**Note: I LOVE AMANDA/DEAN SO MUCH YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW! Of course I like Lana/Dean better, but that's a rather biased opinion, haha. So that was kind of uh…sad…but cute…and I hope you guys liked it! Next chapter will be really angsty, but there will be plenty of flashbacks, I promise. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	82. Lilith's Second Plan

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This is another kind of filler chapter, but it's REALLY important, so pay attention and you won't have as many questions later on.**

**Lots of flashbacks next chapter, but this starts the return of old characters.**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I took a deep breath as I looked at Castiel, both of us sitting in silence because I had yelled at him and he had more to say but he was giving me space. I knew that I was kind of an antichrist and Castiel was letting me conduct this my way because I could send him away if I wanted to. There was so much that we needed to discuss and I was stressing and I was upset and Castiel had told me not to answer Dean's frantic calls.

I guess it hadn't really hit me that choosing to do this meant that I was going to have to be out of contact with _everyone_…everyone except my mother, who had given the angels this idea in the first place. Dean had already enlisted Jen and Annie to call me once an hour and if that wasn't bad enough, Dean, Kate and Sam called me all the other moments in between and pretty soon my voicemail on my cell would be full. Then the second I listened to all the frantic messages, they'd realize I'd listened to them because they could start leaving _more_ messages.

"We've pinpointed Lilith's location." Castiel explained slowly.

I took a deep breath. "So now I need to get there?"

"You need to be aware of some ground rules first." Castiel told me with a small nod. "You're not going in to kill her—you're going in to get Heaven information. This is not a permanent gig and you aren't powerful enough or trained to kill Lilith."

"I had a feeling I couldn't kill her yet—I haven't practiced enough because I'm always worried that Uriel is going to kill me or Johnny." I admitted with a small shrug. "So what exactly is that you want from me? How long is this going to take?"

Castiel looked me in the eye. "You will have to break a seal to gain her trust."

I must have been looking at him like he was crazy because his eyes betrayed annoyance as we stared at each other. He really didn't appreciate me questioning my orders but I really couldn't help it—that was what we were supposed to be _stopping_. Yes, I understood the reasoning behind it all, but if I helped Lilith to _break_ a seal, then everyone was going to think that I most definitely went rogue.

I understood that the whole point was to convince everyone that I had turned because in turn _Lilith_ would believe that, but why? Hadn't I already sacrificed enough? It didn't seem fair that I was going to have to now make my husband and my _family_ and my _best friends_ think that I was in league with Lucifer. Dean was already scared enough of what I could do and now what? Now I was just supposed to let him think that one of his worst fears had come true—that his wife had snapped and given in to her demonic nature?

"There has to be another way, Cas." I told him softly.

Castiel shook his head. "There is no other way, Lana. This is your task, and you must accomplish it."

"Cas, they're not going to take me back after this. I could be with Lilith for _months_ and when I come back I might not have a _family_ anymore." I tried to explain to him.

"Once you explain that it was simply a job they will understand." Castiel responded, reaching out and holding my hand. "You know where to go."

I didn't understand what was happening, but I knew suddenly where Lilith was and I knew that I had to go. Everything that I was about to do was for the greater good and even though I had all of my lies in line, I wanted to talk to my mother first. I wanted to hear her voice…I wanted to talk to Dean. Yeah, I missed Kate and Sam and Annie and Jen and Kevin, but I just wanted to talk to my husband. I wanted him to understand _everything_…but for this to work he _especially_ had to be in the dark.

"All right…I'm in." I told Castiel firmly, nodding as he popped out. "And apparently that's all you needed to hear."

Grabbing my cell phone and my jacket I dialed my mother, smiling when she picked up the call. I really needed to talk to her because I had no one else to turn to and after this I was cut off for good—I couldn't risk Lilith thinking I was warning anyone. Mom was glad to hear from me too and her voice was calm and collected but at the same time I knew that no matter what she wasn't going to try to talk me _out_ of this.

"I'll look after Johnny and Dean for you while you're gone." Mom promised me, shaking her head slowly. "I'm sorry that you have to do this, baby girl."

I smiled a little sadly. "I wish you really _were_ sorry, but I know that no one is. This is best for the world and I get that I'm the choice for infiltration…I hate it, but I agree. I didn't realize that I would have to break a seal though. Why do I have to break a seal? There's no coming back from that."

"Especially when you're going to need Kate to do it with you." Mom told me slowly.

xxxx

**Third Person**

Lana had known that showing up where Lilith was, wasn't going to be a good idea, but she hadn't expected Lilith to not be on her own. She knew she should have researched it better and she knew that she was coming in unprepared, but if Lilith had wanted her dead, she would have just killed her already. No, instead the rather attractive brunette with Lilith was to her in an instant, gripping her neck tightly and Lana's hands gripped her wrists.

"I came to join you." Lana managed, trying to take a breath and thinking about using her powers but knowing she was supposed to come in peace just like Castiel had told her to.

The brunette laughed. "Right—Dean Winchester's wife is here because she's betraying him. If I don't believe you, then what makes you think that Lilith will?"

"Actually, word around is that Lana's been using her powers against her husband's wishes." Lilith managed, looking the sight over, Lana struggling a little as the brunette shoved her up against the wall. "What kind of offering have you brought me?"

"I know a seal that we can break together." Lana offered, wishing she didn't have to but remembering Castiel's words—this was her only way in and Heaven was willing to lose one seal to get this upper hand.

Lilith looked the two over again and the brunette looked her over a moment as well, then she looked at Lana. Lana wasn't using her powers against her so maybe she was telling the truth…maybe she truly was defecting. It just seemed to the brunette that there was no way that Lana Winchester was going to betray her family…unless she had a hidden agenda.

"What's in this for you?" The brunette asked Lana firmly.

Lana managed to swallow. "If I help Lucifer, he leaves me and my loved ones alone."

"Call me an idiot…but I believe her." Lilith explained, smiling a little. "Let her go, Megan."

"Fine," Megan responded, letting Lana go and looking her over as she coughed and rubbed her neck, "but I'm watching you, Winchester."

Lana nodded and brushed herself off. "I wouldn't expect anything less."

Megan nodded slowly and went to stand next to Lilith, Lana wondering why she didn't feel as scared as she thought she would feel. She had to admit that when Megan's fingers were coiled around her throat she was worried that Megan would try to snap her neck, but now…now she felt like she was going to be just fine. She was here to do a job and she would carry through with her mission even if it was just to prove to the angels that she wasn't a bad person. She was on Heaven's side and she really just needed to make the angels understand that so the threats would stop…so that maybe they would help her to protect Johnny from the demons.

"This seal you have for me…what does it entail?" Lilith asked Lana, cocking her head to one side and looking at her.

Even though she'd said it, Lilith didn't trust Lana—not for a moment. Lana was the enemy and even if she helped to break this seal, Lilith was going to need more than just one broken seal to trust Lana with _any_ information. This was far too important and in order to make sure that Lilith's second plan was executed, she had to make sure that Lana didn't know her _full_ intentions.

In fact, Megan had her orders and Lilith trusted her to follow through with them. Lana didn't know it yet, but she knew Megan…she had indirectly hurt Megan in ways that she might never know and Megan wanted back at Lana almost as much as Lilith. Azazel wanted to have a daughter for a reason and when Lana fulfilled her part in the Apocalypse, she was going to get everything she wanted—all of the protection that she so desperately craved.

"There's a slight problem with it but I can handle it…that's why I'm here." Lana explained, adding on the last part as Megan made her way to her.

Megan cocked her head to one side. "What kind of problem is it, Goody-Two-Shoes?"

Lana looked at her. "It's not so much a problem as it is that this particular seal—"

"—pertains specifically to the Meckenzie bloodline." Lilith finished for her, smiling a little bit. "You're actually going to help me with _that_ seal."

"What better way to prove to you that I'm here to _help_ you?" Lana asked her.

Lilith looked at her, Megan knowing to hold her tongue so that Lilith could assess the situation better. Lana was offering up a seal that would mean her embracing the darkness inside of her and it was almost too good to be true. She couldn't believe that Lana would _truly_ be willing to bring Kate into this and unlock the darkness of the Meckenzie line…she couldn't believe that Lana was really here willing to do this.

"You're willing to spill blood?" Lilith asked her finally.

Lana nodded calmly. "It's the only way to break the seal, isn't it? The darkness in the Meckenzie line is from the first, ancient dark witches and one tainted by vampirism and one conceived of a demon are supposed to break it—they're the only ones that can, by spilling the blood of a virgin on the cursed ground. I already knew that nothing that happened to the Meckenzies was coincidence…this was always _supposed_ to happen."

Lana was terrified on the inside but she knew as Castiel and her mother explained everything to her that it was the only answer. She believed that she and Kate could control the darkness once they let it take over but at the same time how could she—she remembered what it was like to have Dark Lana in control and she didn't know if she could do that again and take back over no matter _how_ strong she had gotten since then. Still, no matter what, Lana knew she had to be calm so that Lilith bought that Lana _wanted_ to do this…even though she didn't.

Azazel had always planned for this—he had made psychics to help Lucifer and fight to be number one, and then he had created Lana. Lana was a link…she was a way to break a seal because she would be of the Meckenzie line and have enough demon blood in her to be able to amplify her powers to levels the psychics would never reach. Then there was Kate—the moment she was mortally wounded, a vampire that followed Azazel offered her his blood and it healed her without turning her—without tainting the Meckenzie magic. They were created to break the seal by fate…not by chance.

Lilith was aware of this because she had been part of it—this was all part of a giant master plan. What Lana didn't know, was that Lilith still had another plan…Lilith knew that she needed to have a back-up plan because having Lucifer rise was the most important thing—so she needed Johnny. Lana would never just hand Johnny over, and she would never use him to save the world, but in order to raise Lucifer, Lilith knew that she would need Lana's power and to get her to use it…Lilith needed Johnny in her possession to control Lana.

"How will you lure Kate into this?" Megan asked Lana, skeptical of her at all times. "She is Sam's girlfriend—she's on _his_ side and he and Dean are very _against_ letting Lucifer rise. In fact word around is they want Lilith's head on a platter."

Lana nodded slowly. "Let me take care of my cousin, all right? Blood means more to her than her fiancé."

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

The moment that Lana left me I felt like I was only a shell—she was my everything and she had just left me. I understood on some level that she thought that she was doing the right thing, but I didn't like being left with Johnny and then cut off. She wasn't answering my calls, or listening to my voicemails, and I couldn't leave anymore right now. Eventually I hoped she would check, but I had a feeling that this was the beginning of a long time _without_ her.

Then there was Johnny—Johnny had been a wreak since Lana had left and he wasn't eating very much. Sadly enough I had a feeling that Lana had expected to be gone because she left enough breast milk for the next couple of days and she had been trying to wean Johnny—she'd been giving him formula more and more. The problem with leaving me with Johnny and formula was that he wanted his mother…he wanted his mother and I couldn't breastfeed him. I didn't know what to do without her.

"Dean?" Sam asked me.

I looked up from watching Johnny sleep in his crib. "Yeah?"

"Kate and I can't find anything. We've tortured two demons already and neither of them knew where Lilith is." Sam explained shaking his head slowly. "I don't get it. Why now? I thought that she…you know…"

I made a face. "That she was behind Ruby trying to train you to kill Lilith? Yeah…I think that she has decided that it's supposed to be _her_ that does that."

"Dean, I know this hurts, but we have to focus." Sam tried and I got it—he knew my head wasn't entirely in the game anymore.

When Lana left it was almost as if I was going to have to raise Johnny all on my own and I didn't understand. Why was it that she couldn't see that keeping Johnny safe meant no more hunting? Yes, I understood that we were hunters and that we were never going to _not_ be hunters, but why couldn't we lessen the load? Why couldn't we just settle into a home and then have some kids and try to be normal? Hunt when we _had_ to?

I wasn't the settling down type and I knew that—I knew that I would be restless without hunting—but I didn't want to turn into my father. Lana had made her way into my heart and I had married her and we had a son and we were supposed to be _protecting_ him _no matter what_…and that's when it hit me. Lana wasn't doing this just because she thought it was the only way to take care of Lilith…she was trying to make sure that Johnny and I were safe. The night before my birthday she had wanted me to understand that she was always going to protect me—but why at her own expense?

"I can't focus, Sam…what if she's gone?" I asked him point blank, Johnny stirring as he slept. "I mean what if she went to Lilith and Lilith killed her?"

Sam shook his head. "If Lana was dead we would know it—someone would tell us."

"You think that we would know?" I asked him.

"The demons are really focused on the Apocalypse, Dean…if Lana died because of Lilith word would get back to us—she's been egging us all on." Sam explained with a shrug. "Lana is fine…she's just gone…how is Johnny?"

"He misses his mother." I told him shaking my head.

I glance at Johnny and the slightly pouty look on his face, leaving the nursery. It was like I finally understood what Lana had been talking about before I had died—he looked more like Lana than he looked like me and I couldn't look at him without missing her. Johnny wanted his mother…_I_ wanted his mother. I guess just couldn't understand why she felt like she had to sacrifice herself…how would I be able to forgive myself for making her feel like she had to do this for me?

I had been in Hell and I had come back and felt like I would never be able to readjust…and only Lana really knew all of it. Sam knew a lot, but it was different with Lana because she had _seen_ everything that I had seen and done. She knew about all of the torturing and how I had felt and she had taken it better than Sam…then again it wasn't like Sam could just kiss me and make it all better—that would be weird.

_Sam got me a burger when we had wrapped up the hunt, but I couldn't unwrap it and eat it. Immediately Sam knew that something was wrong with me but that also meant that I needed to own up more about Hell. The whole thing with the girl in the walls and how badly I had wanted to kill her and yet understood her just wasn't entirely…me._

"_You okay?" Sam asked me._

_I looked at him slowly. "You know, I felt for those sons of bitches back there. Lifelong torture turns you into something like that."_

"_You were in Hell, Dean. Look, maybe you did what you did there…but you're not them. They were barely human." Sam explained to me._

"_Well, you're right. I wasn't like them. I was worse. They were animals, Sam, defending territory. Me…I did it for the sheer pleasure." I managed to explain to him._

"_What?" Sam asked me surprised._

_I nodded slowly. "I enjoyed it, Sam. They took me off the rack, and I tortured souls, and I __**liked**__ it. All those years…all that pain…finally getting to deal some out yourself…I didn't care who they put in front of me. Because that f…that pain I felt…it just slipped away. No matter how many people I save…I can't change that. I can't fill this hole. Not ever. I'm surprised Lana wants to have anything to do with me after seeing it all…I don't get how she can look at me and not see a monster."_

_Sam just looked at me as he took it all in and I avoided the eye contact. As glad as I was that he knew, I felt like he was going to look at me differently now because I had more of a killer's instinct than I had ever had before. Then again, Sam had always been understanding like Lana and if Lana could look at me and not see a monster, then maybe Sam could too…_

"I want her back—I don't care what it takes, I want her back now." I told Sam as we went down the stairs. "Where is Kate?"

Sam looked around the living room. "Um…that's a very good question."

"She didn't take off too, did she?" I asked him hurriedly.

"She wouldn't do that…not without telling me about it first," Sam told me firmly and I nodded—I believed him.

He and Kate had such a close relationship and I had a feeling that they were the way Lana and I used to be—the way Lana and I had been when I only had a year left to live. She and I had been so truthful and close and now…now there was so much that we felt like we had to hide and I finally got it—_this_ was what she had been hiding from me when we were finally honest. She had been thinking she had to do this and waiting until she had no other choice…how could I be mad at her for that? At the same time she left without letting me talk her out of it—she left me with our son and she was cutting me out of her life…she had _lied_ to me…and where was Kate?

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

I hadn't meant to leave Sam and Dean but I really couldn't help it—Aunt Florence had left me a voice message and I had to call her back, and Ruby had shown. There were just things that I didn't want to deal with and right now with Lana MIA and Ruby pushing to be around Sam I was flipping out. Ruby was on my last nerve and I had to help my family no matter what the consequences of that were.

"You are really starting to get on my last nerve, Kate." Ruby told me, crossing her arms over her chest. "I could just go straight to Sam, you know."

I shook my head angrily. "You wouldn't do that—going to him behind my back gives _me_ the upper hand. I mean yeah, I _always_ have the upper hand, but still."

"This is bigger than you, Kate…this is _way_ bigger than you." Ruby said with disdain in her voice. "I'm going over your head to Sam."

"Oh, I'm sorry—let me spell it out for you: I don't like you. You're an ugly, lying skank, and some days I wonder why I'm still letting you live." I explained to her, hearing footsteps and knowing that Sam and Dean were making their way into the basement to talk to me since they could obviously hear us now.

Ruby gave me a look. "You know that you need me to train Sam."

"That's just it—we _don't_ need you! We have Lana, and from what I've seen, she's stronger than Sam and I can at least trust her _not_ to betray us all and get us all killed. I'm canceling your little 'training' session with Sam tonight—we're done with you." I told her firmly.

I knew that this was the kind of 'problem' that Sam and I were going to have to agree on, but at the same time I didn't think that we needed her anymore. Lana had left and from what Dean had said it sounded like she was going to confront Lilith on her own so why did we need ruby anymore? If Lana could do this—and I had faith that she _could_—then Sam didn't need to do this anymore.

"Sounds like there's a problem in here…raise your hand if you have a problem." Sam told Ruby and I, entering the basement while Dean stayed in at the top of the stairs.

I raised my hand. "She's leaving though…hopefully for good."

"Sam…will you talk some sense into her, please?" Ruby asked him, making a face.

"Talk some sense into _me_?" I asked her scoffing. "Did you _really_ just ask _Sam_ to talk some sense into _me_? Listen, Skank, get out of Lana's house. She left to take care of Lilith and that means we no longer need you. Training is over—get out before I exorcise you."

Ruby stood her ground, her eyes changing to black. "You wouldn't…"

"Wanna try me?" I asked her.

When she continued to stand her ground I started to chant in Latin, Ruby holding up her hands in surrender. I let her leave even though every fiber in my being was telling me to just end her then and there, Dean giving me a look and then leaving into the other part of the house. Sam took a deep breath and rubbed his temples, trying to figure out what to say to me next but my phone rang and I knew I had to answer it—it was Aunt Florence.

"We'll talk in a little bit, okay?" I told him as he opened his mouth up to speak. "This is important—Aunt Flor might have something on Lana."

Sam nodded slowly. "Take it then…I'll go check on Dean."

"Good idea." I agreed, returning the kiss he placed on my lips softly.

I flipped open my phone and put it up to my ear, really needing to hear Aunt Florence's voice…really needing some answers. Lana had left everyone to go and 'join Lilith' and I needed to know if this was really to protect us, or her snapping and going Dark Side. I was hoping for the former because if Lana couldn't control the darkness in the Meckenzie bloodline…then how in the Hell could _I_?

"I was going to call you back but I got distracted by Demon Skank." I explained to her. "What is it?"

Aunt Florence took a deep breath. "Katie, honey, I need you to listen to me and keep an open mind all right?"

"Yeah, this sounds promising." I told her sarcastically.

I expected the reprimand that came afterwards because I knew that Aunt Florence meant this to be important but I was me—sarcasm was my flavor of choice. What was I supposed to do right now? Just sit around and pretend like I was all right with all of the bad things that just kept happening left and right? Of course not! We were going to war soon and I was in the middle and if Aunt Florence knew something and was asking me for favors…then I was pretty certain I wasn't going to like what it was that she was going to ask of me.

"Just what do you know, Aunt Flor?" I asked her quickly, wanting her to get to the point and just ask already.

Aunt Florence took another breath. "Katie…the darkness in our bloodline is a really important factor in what's going on right now, all right? Remember the rune? Remember what you learned? Lana is going to ask you to do something you're not going to like but you _have_ to do it without asking _any_ questions, okay? Promise me, Katie."

"How do I just promise something like that?" I asked her, feeling a lump rise up in my throat.

"Promise me, Katie." Aunt Florence repeated, her voice firm and yet calm.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, nodding as I cradled the phone. "I promise Aunt Flor."

xxxx

**Third Person**

Dean went to bed that night in a bad mood, missing his wife and wishing he could have gotten Johnny to eat more. The side of the bed that Lana normally slept on still kind of smelled like her, and Dean felt almost alien in that bed…he felt helpless. If there was one feeling that Dean couldn't _stand_ feeling, it was helplessness.

Suddenly though, Dean felt hands run along his peck and his shoulder next to Lana's side of the bed, and he looked to see her there. She smiled up at him with those warm eyes of hers and for a moment all Dean wanted to do was kiss her, but at the same time all his angry feelings came flooding back. Lana had left him and she hadn't even thought to stick around and here him talk her out of it…she deserved to hear that.

"You just come back and expect me to be okay with it?" Dean asked her skeptically.

Lana shook her head. "Not at all…I'm not really here."

"What?" Dean asked her, shaking his head slowly as the words sunk in. "No…no…you're not doing what I think you're doing, are you? You don't have that kind of power."

"You'd actually be surprised at the kind of power I _do_ have, Dean." Lana explained, sadness crossing over her irises. "I just had to come to you because I miss you and I know you're worried."

"You're damn straight I'm worried!" Dean exclaimed, sitting up in the bed and looking down at her as she nodded and propped herself up on her hand, choosing to continue to lay there. "You just skipped out and expected me to understand but I don't! You have a son, so where in the Hell do you get off gallivanting _straight into danger_? You just _left_ me after I asked you _not_ to!"

Lana looked directly at him. "Don't you dare try to turn this into something that it isn't, Dean—I would _never_ leave you and Johnny just because I could. Baby, it broke my heart to leave but you refuse to accept the fact that I have powers that will help us to end this! I'm doing this _for_ us. God, Dean, I want this over with so that I can come back to you and start trying for baby number 2…I want a _life_ with you, but that doesn't exist with Lilith alive!"

Dean looked away from her and shook his head slowly, trying to find it in him to just yell at her some more because he felt lost, but he couldn't. He wanted to hold her and kiss her and stroke her hair and feel her body pressed up against his and so he slowly laid back down. Lana immediately set to cradling his body with hers and he closed his eyes a moment, his face pointed up towards the ceiling.

"This is just a dream Dean," Lana told him softly, running her fingers along his shirted chest. "You're going to wake up and I won't be there, so let's just be us right now, all right? You can be mad at me when I come back to you."

Dean nodded and wrapped his arms around her, letting out a breath of relief when she kissed him. The kiss was just so loving and it felt so real, but he felt the pull of the outside world as he slipped his fingers into her hair, feeling her nip at his jaw line as his alarm went off. It didn't even feel like he'd been sleeping so long, and he could still feel her touch on him even though it was just a dream. For a moment he had felt so complete…but then she left and he felt empty again.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Waking up and not having Dean there was a nightmare—I hated it on a normal basis already, but knowing he was so mad at me made it even harder. He was so distraught without me and Johnny was too and I just didn't think that I could handle this—I had to make this over as soon as possible. How was I supposed to pretend that I _wanted_ to be here when I didn't? For the good of the world or not this was hard…I missed my family and the love I felt in their company.

"God, you sleep a lot—you can't make this a habit." Megan told me.

I made a face and faked a smile. "Yeah, you're right, because sleep doesn't ever help you to find your edge—let's be sleep deprived."

"If I didn't know you weren't already, I'd think you were pregnant again with all this sleep—then again you could be depressed…" Megan said, pondering out loud.

"I'm not either." I told her, getting up from the cot on the ground and brushing myself off. "You know, I find it funny—old abandoned warehouses? Condemned buildings? What about a motel?"

Megan laughed and rolled her eyes. "Demons don't really need to sleep, Lana."

"Oh…I pegged you as a witch." I said, rolling my eyes because I had known she was a demon the moment I had appeared.

She and Lilith were too powerful for me to think otherwise—the skins they were wearing were most _definitely not_ their own. It had been easy to pinpoint Megan as a demon and now all I had to do was get her off of my back a little. Yes, she was going to _not_ trust me the whole time I was here and I knew that, but I needed her to back off a little because I didn't think I could do this with her breathing down my neck the _whole_ time.

"Where is Lilith?" I asked Megan as I ran my fingers through my hair to fix it a little. "I don't want to leave and have you guys think I'm ditching, but I'm only human—I need food."

Megan raised her eyebrows at my tone. "You know, Lana, you don't really act like you _want_ to be here."

"Of course I don't _want_ to be here, Megan. I want to be at home with my son doing things that _normal_ mothers do." I explained to her honestly and then remembering the story that Castiel had wanted me to feed her and Lilith and knowing I had to add that in with my sincerity. "I want to kiss his forehead when he wakes up and feed him his bottle and play with blocks with him and read him stories, and yet I'm here…planning how to break a seal with you and Lilith. I'm not ever going to be normal, but I might as well protect Johnny from afar, right?"

Megan nodded and cracked a smile. "Right…protect your little spawn."

It annoyed me _every_ time when someone talked about Johnny like he was just the product of an abomination and a hunter. Johnny was a living, breathing little boy and even though he had demon blood in him, he didn't deserve to be talked about with such little respect. Someday he would be strong enough to talk even Megan out and seeing as he was my son, I was a little biased when it came to standing up for him…Megan was pissing me off more than I wanted her to and I snapped a little.

"When I'm done with this and Lucifer is out, I quit." I told her, enforcing the lie that Castiel wanted me to feed Lilith. "He'll be in my debt, my family will be safe, and I'll never have to see you again—in fact if I do see you after Lucifer rises I'm going to kill you so you don't go near my son."

Megan laughed a little, looking me directly in the eye. "Oh, Lana…Lana, Lana, Lana—you never get out of this. This…hunting…you'll always be part of it, and _I_ will always be one step ahead of you."

I let the words that she was saying settle in, swallowing as I thought of something to say in response. It had been what I was the most afraid of and I believed her, but at the same time when this was all over she would be dead—I would make sure of that. There was absolutely no way that she could know what I was up to because from here on out all contact was through dreams…and she and Lilith couldn't monitor those…but other angels could.

Castiel had actually been _very_ specific about that and it was then that I understood that Heaven really wanted this. They wanted Lilith stopped and with my power they knew that I could do that…I just never truly _embrace_ my potential. It scared my husband too much and I knew that even though I fully _accepted_ what I was, I couldn't use all of the powers that I wanted because Dean was afraid of what I could potentially become…and to be honest, so was I. For now though, I was going to do what I was told.

"I want food, Megan." I told her firmly, shrugging my shoulders. "Where is Lilith so I can relieve myself?"

Lilith laughed and I turned to see her there in the room. "You can go get food, Lana…but Megan is going with you. If you try to get away she has orders to kill you, and when you get back…we're talking about how to get Kate's help with this seal."

xxxx

**Third Person**

Johnny was worried about his mother and about not having seen her for a while now. He was only a little over a year old and he didn't have a handle on _any_ of his powers, but he just knew that his mother was in trouble wherever she was. It was almost the feelings that he had had when Dean was being ripped apart by Hellhounds…it was almost like he _knew_ that she was in a life or death situation.

He looked up at his father as his father cut his banana into slices, wanting to stay for food but feeling like his mother couldn't wait. Not only were they bonded because of their demon blood and because of the powers he got because he had Meckenzie blood, but he got to bond with his mother when his father was gone those four months that he was in Hell. Johnny knew that his mother needed help and yet no one was with her.

"Here's your banana, Buddy." Dean told Johnny, kissing his head and putting the banana on the tray of Johnny's high chair.

Johnny couldn't comprehend anything around him completely, but he knew something was wrong and he couldn't sit there. He wanted his mother, he knew his father wanted his mother, and he just needed to be with her. Dean didn't understand either, but he had a feeling that Johnny wasn't eating because he wanted Lana back—and it scared him when suddenly Johnny was gone.

Dean didn't know that Johnny could pop out at will and he was instantly up calling Johnny's name and running around the house searching for him. He called Kate and then Sam and realized that no matter how many hunts he had been on, and no matter how many life and death situations that he'd been in, nothing scared him more than this. He would have been even more scared if he had known that in trying to get to his mother, Johnny had popped into a diner filled with demons…

**Note: What a cliffy, huh? The next chapter is pretty dark and intense and I'm hoping to get it up really soon. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	83. The Darkness Can Consume

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay, so here is yet another chapter and it's kind of intense and emotional so I hope that you guys will enjoy it.**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I didn't waste any time at all getting Kate and Sam together to help me to track down Johnny once he popped out on me. He was worried about his mother—I knew that much—but it baffled me that he would just up and leave like that when he was just a baby. Surely he didn't know his powers well enough to protect himself, and what did that mean? What if I didn't find him in time? What if it was too late?

"We don't have a _single_ lead on where Lana might be, let alone Johnny." Kate said dismally, pulling out her cell phone. "We need to call Aunt Flor—maybe she can track him…maybe Cas can?"

I looked at her. "You're right—Castiel could find him."

"I'm going to call Aunt Flor, and _you_ call Castiel." Kate informed me, quickly dialing out the number for Lana's mother.

I nodded at her and called out Castiel's name, knowing that right now he was really my best option. There was no guarantee that he was going to show up and help, but I had to try everything that I could think of because my _son_ was missing. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if anything bad happened to him when his mother wasn't here to protect him…I was supposed to be able to protect my own kid.

"Castiel!" I cried out, shaking my head and trying again. "Come on! Show up! I need your help!"

I turned around to see Castiel standing behind me and I leapt a little bit—it was disconcerting the way that he showed up out of nowhere. Thankfully, he had shown up, though, because honestly I had thought that he would ignore me since he was trying to stop seals from being broken. Honestly, I had expected him to be too busy to show up and so for a moment once the shock of his appearance wore off, I felt relief set in.

"Johnny is missing." I told Castiel, shaking my head a little bit. "He just popped right out, and I need to know where he is so that I can bring him back home."

Castiel nodded slowly. "He went to find his mother?"

"We haven't been able to pinpoint Lana since she left…but I know she's not dead…she came to me in a dream." I explained to him. "She is hidden from us right now…is she hidden from you?"

Castiel ignored my question and looked at me. "I can tell you where your son is."

Just like that he was gone and I shook my head, wondering where on Earth he had just gone to. I had asked him for help finding my son and he had just decided to pop out without telling me anything—what about Johnny? The more time we wasted, the more danger Johnny was in…_that _I was sure of.

"Castiel!" I called out again, shaking my head.

"I can tell you where Johnny is….but you will probably need to have Florence with you." Castiel explained to me.

I turned around to see Castiel standing behind me once again, the same cold, emotionless look on his face. It was almost as if I had bothered him—almost as if this was the least important thing on his list of things to do. Since I couldn't really dwell on that though, I just got the coordinates and then I headed out with Sam and Kate. If anything happened to Johnny, I would never be able to forgive myself.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Talking to Megan and Lilith about my plans to get Kate on board with breaking a seal hit me as betrayal for a moment. How I could even be _thinking_ about making her help me to do this was beyond me—it was one thing for _me_ to do it, but for _Kate_ to do it? Hadn't Castiel told me to make sure that Kate didn't let Ruby back into Sam's life? Yet here I was, getting ready to kill a poor, innocent virgin to try to end a war.

"I still don't get why we trust her to do anything at all," Megan said aloud, looking at me instead of Lilith when she said it. "How do we know she won't just run off when the going gets rough? I don't see her slitting the throat of a virgin and draining her blood to open up a seal—she doesn't have it in her."

I looked Megan in the eye and crossed my arms over my chest. "I don't need your approval, Megan—all I need is to get into contact…with Kate…"

For a moment I felt like something was wrong and so I trailed off and focused, Megan rolling her eyes at me and Lilith studying me. Something was wrong with Johnny and as I focused a little harder I suddenly realized that my son was in trouble and that was more important to me than this stupid seal. I had to leave, find Johnny, and then come back—all I knew was that this could ruin everything, but my son's life was more important to me than Lilith's trust.

"I have to leave for a moment—I will be back as soon as I fix this." I told them, shaking my head as Megan took a step towards me. "My son is in trouble…I give you my word that I will be back."

I knew that I probably should have waited for Lilith or Megan to say something to me, but at the same time, this was too important. I found myself in an abandoned warehouse, several demons around, and Johnny was here too—but how did he get here. The worst part of it all was that I could hear him crying…and his crying was breaking my heart into a millions different pieces.

The demons weren't going to get away with any of this, and I made my way to them quickly, standing in the doorway. Johnny was standing off in a corner by himself, tired and scared, crying with his force field up, the demons trying to get to him. I held up my hand as two of the ten looked over at me, all of them freezing. Knowing that I was going to be willingly in Lilith's company, I had been practicing, and the power that I felt right that moment almost overwhelmed me.

"Step away from my son." I said firmly, parting them with my hands from my position near the door. "If you want to be spared, I suggest you leave."

A few of the demons laugh, one of them leaving their host almost immediately. They were trying to intimidate me even though _I_ had the power, and I cocked my head to one side, feeling my irises change to yellow. It was my heritage, and I understood that it made me who I was, but sometimes it scared even _me_ that I was this way. I hated so much that I was half demon—that I was bestowed with all of this power that was starting to change me…starting to twist my priorities.

"It makes more sense for us to kill you and your son, doesn't it?" One of the demons asked me, fighting against me, trying to move and almost succeeding. "You can't hold _all_ of us, forever."

I nodded slowly, feeling some blood in my nose. "I don't need forever."

I squeezed my hand into a fist, killing all of the demons, a trickle of blood coming out of my nose. I had never killed so many demons at once before, but the host bodies fell on the floor and Johnny let his force field down, crying into me as I threw my arms around him and scooped him up. Stroking his hair, I kissed his head softly, closing my eyes and bobbing him up and down a little bit sensing Mom, Sam, Dean and Kate.

On the one hand, I wanted to leave since Dean would get to get Johnny and take him home, but at the same time I felt like I was thinking clearly. I wanted so badly to explain to Dean _why_ I was doing what I was doing, and I felt like I needed to personally hand Johnny over to his father and tell him to stay with him. So, I headed towards where I had come in, nodding slowly when Mom, Dean, Sam and Kate showed up, having hurried here with weapons, ready to fight whatever it was that they needed. To them it seemed like Johnny had tried to come to my rescue, and the look on Dean's face was _killing_ me.

None of this was really fair to him, and I felt the need to simply explain it all even though I knew that he would be mad at me. He was going to be freaking out about everything that I was going to tell him, but I should have been upfront and honest with him from the beginning. I couldn't tell him _everything_, just because some of the knowledge would put his life in danger, but I had to tell him _some_ of it.

"I think he might have learned his lesson." I said as Mom, Sam and Kate lowered their weapons, Dean lowering his slowly, nodding.

Kate spoke up in the silence that followed. "We're just glad that he's safe."

"So I take it that he actually found you?" Mom asked me, taking a step towards me.

"No, actually…I knew something was wrong, so I found him…he had good intentions." I said, looking at Dean as he came up to me. "He's pretty scared, but I think he'd like his Daddy."

Dean shook his head, and instead rubbed Johnny's back and looked me in the eye, Sam and Kate excusing themselves. They went to go and wait in the car while Mom took a step back, Johnny's arms wrapped around my neck as he buried his face in me. It felt nice to be this close to my son and my husband, but I knew it couldn't last because I had a mission to do. Castiel had told me to do this and as far as I was concerned, Heaven was worth the sacrifice.

"I've been really worried about you, Lanni." Dean told me, stepping closer to me, still rubbing Johnny's back. "Why did you just take off like that?"

I nodded slowly. "I didn't have a choice—I know that you're going to tell me that I did, but I didn't. This is a test for me, and with me away from you, you're safe. You and Johnny and Sam and Kate…you're all safe. I have to prove to Lilith that I'm on her side so that I can figure out what it is that she's doing so I can stop her."

"Why can't you do that _with me_?" Dean asked me, shaking his head. "I don't understand why _you_ have to put _all_ _of this_ on your own shoulders."

"Because I have the power to stand up to her." I explained sadly with a soft shrug. "She's stronger than _me_, and that's saying something right now. I'm the one with the power to protect myself, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you or Johnny were caught in the crossfire…but I shouldn't have left without _telling_ you that, and I apologize. I've been so selfish lately…I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Lana…you need to be careful about what you say to him." Mom told me firmly.

I looked over at her as Dean did, taking a deep breath and holding onto Johnny, stroking his hair as anger boiled up inside of Dean. He was mad enough that I sold my soul to bring her back, but the fact that Mom was in on it and he _wasn't_ was kind of pissing him off and I understood that. He had every right to be mad, and to blame me because it was my fault and he deserved better than that.

"Johnny-Bear…Sweetie…I need you to stay with Daddy, okay?" I told him before Dean opened his mouth to get mad at my mother. "I'm going to hand you over to your Uncle Sammy and you're going to stay put, okay? Okay?"

Johnny nodded at me as I pulled out my cell phone, Sam and Kate coming in and taking Johnny, me making Kate stay. She was kind of important to proving to Lilith that I was faithful to her—even though I wasn't—and I also knew that she could keep Mom in line. Dean needed explanations, and I needed to explain my actions because keeping him in the dark was wrong.

"Why do _you_ know about this?" Dean asked my mother.

I took a deep breath. "Because she proposed it."

"She _what_?" Dean asked sharply.

"After getting _all_ of her memories back, Lana unlocked power that you can't even imagine—power that can be used to kill Lilith if she can catch her off guard." Mom explained, and I closed my eyes and shook my head. "So when the angels realized that she could help them, they recruited her—it's her last test to prove to them that she's on their side."

"Why would you _suggest_ that my wife should put herself in _danger_?" Dean asked her, his voice rising. "SHE'S YOUR _DAUGHTER_!"

I asked Kate to take my Mom out to Sam and Johnny and then to come back and Kate just nodded, me reaching out to take Dean's hand. He didn't pull away, so I was thankful for that, and I just took a deep breath and then decided to just go ahead and say it. Everything I had to say, Dean needed to hear, and then I could go back to it and then finish this all once and for all so I could return to my husband.

"I had to protect you and Johnny." I told him, shaking my head slowly. "This whole thing started to spiral out of control, but with Lilith being a threat, the demons always after Johnny, and Uriel threatening you, what choice did I have?"

"To _tell_ me what was going on!" Dean responded, running his hand down his face. "Lanni, you can't just run off. I mean I get it—I caved to Uriel too, for threatening you and Sam, but being apart isn't the answer."

"Even if it means saving your life?" I asked him softly.

I knew that he was mad at me and that he had a point, but at the same time what if Lilith found out? What if Dean knew too much and she sent demons after him to torture him or kill him? What if Uriel went through on his threat because he was higher up on the angelic food chain than Castiel? What if _I_ was the reason that Dean and Johnny got killed? I couldn't live with that on my head…hard as it was, having my husband mad at me was something I _could_ live with—at least he'd still be alive.

"Baby…we're stronger together." Dean told me, shrugging. "If there's a plan to take out Lilith, I need to be _in_ on it, all right? I need to know what's going to happen so that I know how to help you with it."

I shook my head slowly. "I can't take that risk, Dean. I can't take the risk that Lilith is going to find out and send someone to kill you. I can't take the risk that Uriel is going to kill you because I went against my orders…I can't risk you getting hurt. If you have to be mad at me, or divorce me or any of it…it's better than you being dead. I'm the only one that can do this…so I have to."

"Lanni…stop acting like you can't have help," Dean said firmly. "I'm your husband, okay? I get it—I get why you have to do this—but why can't you trust me to help you?"

"I _do _trust you, Dean! I do! I just have to make sure that I do everything in my power to protect you! Don't you get that? What if Lilith suspects that I'm not actually trying to help her and she goes after you? I know that you're strong, and you're brave and you're like the best hunter that I know, but if she _killed_ you…I wouldn't be able to deal with it." I explained to him, tears in my eyes. "You're my whole life and if I can stop her, then I _have_ to. You always used to tell me that you couldn't be the reason for my death, but did it ever occur to you that I can't be the reason for yours?"

Dean nodded slowly and a sad smile appeared on his face as he closed the distance between us and kissed me. I was finally opening up to him completely again and it felt nice, but I also felt like we were almost just agreeing to stop all of the fighting just because we didn't want to fight. There was just so much more to talk to him about, and yet so much to keep from him and I just…I guess I just really wanted to _know_ that I was doing the _right_ thing here…

"There's something else you need to know, Baby," I told Dean softly, closing my eyes as he rested his forehead to mine. "In order to prove my loyalty to Lilith, I have to break a seal. I don't want to, I really don't, but it's the only chance I have, and I have to do something _really_ terrible…and I don't know if you're still going to _want_ me after this."

Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath, kissing me again as he ran his thumbs along my cheeks. I let him deepen it a moment as he took the words in, feeling like I had just sealed his fate by even telling him _this_ much. I had to return to Lilith and what if she found out that Dean was here and then suspected that I was running to him to tell him what was happening? That was pretty much _exactly_ what was happening and that meant I was putting Dean in danger…why was I doing this? I should have just handed Johnny over and then left…especially since that one demon got away…

"Oh my God," I said, pulling out of Dean's embrace and taking a step back. "A demon got away and what if they tell Lilith? What if she assumes I'm telling you everything? My _entire_ cover will be blown…and you'll be in danger—you, Johnny, Kate, Sam…even my mother…what have I done?"

Dean spoke up as I groaned and put my head in my hands. "Then you go back…you go back and you break the seal, and you figure out how to defeat her, and you come back to me. From this point on, you're the enemy…only you're not."

"Promise me that you're going to be careful?" I asked him.

"I promise." Dean said nodding.

I nodded too and smiled, looking at Kate as she came back into the warehouse. "So I just need Kate, and then…we'll come back to you guys, you just have to give us some time."

xxxx

When I explained to Kate what it was that we needed to do, she was pretty livid about it all. She was pacing the 'room' that I was staying in while I was with Lilith and Megan, and she wanted to understand for once and for all _why_ I was willing to do this. Even when I explained that Castiel had said his orders were to tell me and Kate to do it, she wasn't all right with it.

"I just can't slit the throat of an innocent girl who hasn't even gotten to have sex yet." Kate said shaking her head. "I mean it's the meanest thing that you could do."

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…I was there too, but…I have to protect Dean and Johnny and Sam—if it helps, _I'll_ slit her throat. God…I hate this so much, Katie."

"I guess I understand, but I just…it's the sacrifice of the one for the many, you know?" Kate asked me, shaking her head. "I just wish it didn't come at _this_ price, and I wish that _we_ didn't have to do this. Sam and Dean aren't going to forgive this, you know? Once they find out what it was that we had to do to actually _break the seal_…they're not going to accept us back, and I don't know if I'm ready for that."

"I really didn't want to involve you in this," I admitted to her, feeling the sadness hit me all at once again. "I just wanted to get something done and then go back to my husband. This is the best way that I can protect him—figuring out up close how to take out Lilith—and if that meant losing him than so be it. I mean I can't live without him, I know that already, but I sure as Hell can't live with him dead—I can't live with myself knowing it was _my fault_ that he got killed, you know? Killing this girl is going to be hard…except once we cross this line…it won't be."

"Yeah…there's no going back…" Kate told me, looking up at me and looking me in the eye. "But…this is the only way."

I nodded slowly at her. "I know."

Kate and I both nodded at each other and knew that we were doing this for the people that we loved most. It wasn't because we _wanted_ to, it was just because it _needed_ to be done to not only prove our worth to Heaven, but to make sure that Sam, Dean and Johnny were safe. As hard as it was for us to know that we were about to give into the darkness inside of us, if it meant defeating Lilith, then it had to be done.

"I know the spell…we just have to be ready for this, and I suggest reversing the effects as soon as we can because we don't want to let the darkness inside of us be out for too long." Kate explained to me. "It's hard to control."

I nodded slowly. "Trust me…I'm aware."

"So does Lilith have everything ready? This has to be done tomorrow night or not at all…where are we finding this virgin?" Kate asked me. "I mean _we_ don't have to pick her out, do we?"

"I certainly hope not." I replied, making a face. "It's bad enough that I'm going to let Dark Lana gank her…I don't want to _pick_ her."

"I picked her." Megan spoke up, entering the room and laughing a little bit. "I expected Kate to be _so_ much more badass than this."

Kate laughed and nodded. "Yeah, well, when this is over maybe I'll kill you."

Megan shot her a look. "Be careful who you threaten, Newman…I'm not your run of the mill demon."

"I don't really care _what_ kind of demon you are—getting on my bad side is a bad idea." Kate responded with a shrug.

"You're lucky we need you around to break a seal, but _after_…not so much." Megan told Kate with a look in her eyes. "You're treading on dangerous ground."

"Get out before I _make _you get out." I told Megan firmly, staring her down.

Megan glared at me and then left the room, letting Kate and I get some sleep since we had a long day ahead of us. There was a lot to get done, and a lot of tracks to cover, and to be honest, when Kate and I found ourselves on the hallowed ground we were going to have to curse, we felt kind of bad about it. On the one hand, Vanessa would be proud of her descendents embracing their destinies, but on the other hand _we_ were going to be so _incredibly_ disappointed in ourselves afterwards.

"Are you ready for this?" Kate asked me.

I took a deep breath. "I'm as ready for this as I can be…you?"

"I just want to get this over with." Kate admitted to me. "Let's perform the spell and then Megan will bring us the girl, we'll spill her blood and voila…a broken seal for Lilith."

"All right…let's do this then." I told her, nodding slowly as I remembered all of the reasons why we were doing this in the first place.

Even though there were voices in my head telling me that this was going a little too far—even for Heaven—I didn't feel like I could trust those voices. Castiel got me through Dean being dead and if this was going to keep the threat away from him, then so be it. So Kate and I started to chant the incantation and we stood there, chanting and keeping eye contact with each other, feeling the darkness course through us…feeling the strength it was bringing us. Our hair went black and our eyes flashed a little, a smirk crossing my face that didn't entirely belong to me, and Kate matched it, but it wasn't all her either.

"I finally got to come back out and play." Dark Lana said happily. "And look, I'm not the only one."

Dark Kate laughed and nodded, looking herself over. "Kate is feisty, but…she knows I'll protect her…and hey, we get to fulfill the Meckenzie line so everyone wins."

"Someone seems a little more evil and upbeat." Megan said happily, holding onto a blonde who was crying, her face stained with tears. "I'm loving the revamp on the hair."

"Keep her where you are, Megan," Dark Lana said bitterly, looking at her feet and around the mausoleum. "Kate and I still have to curse the ground before you let her step foot here."

"Why do you think she's slung over my shoulder?" Megan asked angrily.

It seemed that even in my more evil form, Megan and I just didn't seem to get along. Honestly it didn't bother me, but what did, was the feeling like Dark Lana was stronger this time around and that she was about to get to curse hallowed ground _and_ spill the blood of an innocent girl. She was going to enjoy it _too_ much, and then I was going to have to find a way to take back over.

The thing was, even though we were technically one person now, the spell that Kate and I had performed had allowed the dark magic to completely take control. It wasn't forever, but the sooner we could battle it with the light magic inside of us, the better. Our mothers had raised us to stay away from dark magic, and even though sometimes we used it, it was never like this…it was never in _complete_ control, and it was little scary, no matter _how_ powerful we were right now.

After a moment or two, Dark Kate and Dark Lana had the ground cursed by means of a spell from one of the memory gifts that Vanessa had given me, and Megan threw the girl down onto it. Dark Lana looked down at her and pulled a silver knife out of a holster, the girl crying and shaking her head. She knew that she was about to die and the fear in her eyes was almost too much for me, but I had to let it all happen.

"Please…please don't do this to me," She sobbed out, shaking her head as Dark Kate cocked her head to one side and looked her over. "I haven't done anything…"

Dark Lana nodded slowly. "I know, which is why you were the perfect choice. You go to church, you pray, you walk your dog everyday…your blood has to be spilled though, for a higher cause. You're saving the world here."

"Just remember that," Dark Kate added with a nod. "Just remember that your actions are sending you up to God and the angels—your sacrifice won't be for nothing."

"This isn't fair," The girl sobbed, shaking her head.

"Life isn't fair." Megan responded, looking straight at me. "Are you going to do it or not?"

Dark Lana knelt down and grabbed the girl by the hair, looking her in the eye just as she had done with Paige. I didn't like looking at this teenage girl like this—seeing all of the fear and sadness behind her irises—and then suddenly the knife made contact with her throat and slid right across it. Her blood began to spill out of her as her body fell onto the ground, spreading out in a symbol, the ground beginning to glow and shake…and then it ceased…then the task was complete.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

Getting Johnny back home was the top priority even though Sam didn't want to leave Kate and Lana with Lilith. I tried to explain to him that they were doing what they thought was best, but the two of us felt a little helpless because the women we loved were trying to save _us_ and we felt like we couldn't return the favor. Hell, it had been _Lana_ who had actually _saved_ Johnny…I had just gotten there in time to bring him home.

On top of that, I was pretty upset about Florence being in on everything—how could she send her own daughter out to potentially get killed. I understood why Dad did it to me—I was _raised_ to be a hunter—but Lana was given the chance at a normal life. Granted, it seemed like our lives were _always_ going to be anything _but_ normal, but it still felt like there was more that we could do to help Lana do this. I couldn't see another way, and as much as I hated to admit it, the plan was rather brilliant even though it was dangerous, but I wanted to help my wife…I wanted to _protect_ her.

"We shouldn't have let them go." Sam told me, shaking his head. "We shouldn't have let them go off with Lilith. What if Lana can't protect them both? I don't have any idea what I would do if I lost them."

I looked at him and nodded slowly. "I don't know what I'd do either…but what were we supposed to do? If Lilith thought that Lana had betrayed her already, she would have sent someone to kill her. At least this way we know that she has proven that she can be trusted."

"Even though she can't be?" Sam asked me. "I mean her whole plan is to betray her in the end, right?"

"Why do I feel like _you_ of _all_ people is doubting her?" I asked him suddenly, raising my eyebrows. "All the times that she stands up for you and _you_ sound unsure."

"I just know that breaking a seal is serious business, Dean, and this is going to change both of them _forever_." Sam said as he sat down on the couch, the baby monitor on the coffee table.

Johnny was upstairs in his crib sleeping soundly, Sam and I alone in the house because Annie and Penn had gone off on another vacation—he was going to propose this time. All of the words coming out of Sam's mouth were making me feel kind of doubtful as well, but at the same time I knew this. The things that I had done in Hell had changed me forever, and whatever it was taking to break this seal was going to change Lana too. With all of this change in such a short time, how were we ever going to fix _us_?

It wasn't like we were _broken_—we were both fighting to protect each other no matter what—it was just that we were different. We still loved each other, and we loved Johnny, and we _wanted_ to be together, but what if that wasn't enough? I was a monster—I had done things and enjoyed things that I couldn't take back—and Lana was helping Lilith to get just one step closer to letting Lucifer out. What if she was right and we failed? What if Lucifer got out? Then she was going to blame herself for _everything_…and I didn't think that I could help her with that.

"News is spreading like wildfire already, Boys." Florence told us, coming into the living room. "That seal got broken, and a hunter I know thought he saw Lana and so he called me…it won't be long before everyone thinks that Lana betrayed us all."

I nodded slowly. "That's what we were going for…this seal…"

"You don't want to know." Florence told me, shaking her head. "Trust me—you don't want to have _anything_ to do with this, okay?"

"This is my _wife_, Florence—I _have_ to know what's going on with her so that I can help her, all right?" I asked her, getting a little bit testy. "I came back from Hell and I shunned her _every time_ she tried to help and it wasn't right. I was being closed off and she could _feel_ that, and she closed herself off too. She's _always_ standing by me, protecting me, _loving_ me…and I _need_ to be able to do the same for her. Help me to _help_ her…please."

"She and Kate cursed hallowed ground and killed a virgin—they released the darkness of the Meckenzie line." Florence told me plainly.

I had to let the words sink in—they _killed_ an innocent person to break a seal. I thought that it would have to do with some kind of dark magic spell or something, but they _killed_ someone. Then as I looked up at her to ask her if she was sure about that, Jen came bursting into the house without even knocking. She and Lana sometimes came and went as they pleased no matter whose house it was, but the sight of a frightened, pregnant witch that could kick my ass practically breathing down my neck had me on edge.

"The Rune _broke_, Dean…it _broke_—where is Lana?" Jen asked me.

It suddenly dawned on me that Lana hadn't told Jen anything because out of everyone that she said she was protecting, the person she didn't have to announce to the world was Jennifer Delkan. They were _best_ friends—they were practically sisters—and Lana would gladly lay down her life to make sure that Jen got absolutely everything that it was that she wanted. So she didn't tell Jen because Jen would want to do the exact same thing for her in return…and that beautiful wife of mine had trusted me even though she had wanted to keep me safe and in the dark too—she just knew how much I needed her to be honest with me no matter what…and she had still managed to keep enough from me so that I couldn't be tortured for information.

"Lana isn't here right now." Florence told her softly.

Jen turned to her. "Oh…I have a feeling that you being here is a bad sign. Not that I'm sorry to see you or anything, Flor, but Lana sold her _soul_ for you and the fact that she's not here _and_ the Rune just kind of broke? I have an even _stronger_ feeling that it wasn't a coincidence…"

"That's because it isn't." I managed, running my hand down my face. "Lana and Kate just tipped the scales and unleashed the darkness that helped to forge the Rune…"

"That would mean that she broke a seal," Jen managed, tears coming to her eyes as she began to shake her head. "And that could only mean that she's with Lilith right now…which means that she's trying to save all of us now that she knows how to use and control her powers. Damn that stupid, girl! This is dangerous, even for her! What if her plan backfires? None of us are strong enough to save her if it does!"

"She won't fail," Florence announced, shaking her head. "She's got this."

Jen looked at her. "I'm glad you have faith in your daughter, but this is big, and Lana just tipped the scales…the only way to put the covens on an even playing field again, is for her and I to re-forge the Rune…and it has to be soon."

I raised my eyebrows. "That can be done?"

"Yes, but time is counting down and if she returns within the time line…Lilith might suspect something." Jen explained.

I nodded slowly and then I smiled a little, realizing in that moment that Lana really couldn't ask for better people to surround her. She takes off and the one person that never doubted her for a second—the one who knew her true heart—wasn't even me…it was her best friend. Deep down I had known that Lana would never just switch sides because she always lobbied so hard against Lilith and against demons, but Jen knew right off the bat that she was sacrificing herself for _everyone that she loved and cared about_.

"You never doubted her…not for a second." I told her softly.

Jen smiled at me. "Lana's the most loyal person that I know. She doesn't always go about things the right way, but her heart is in the right place. The real question here is: can you get over the fact that she spilled innocent blood?"

"Yeah," I told her softly, nodding my head. "Trust me, Jen…I've done a whole lot worse."

**Note: Sorry the chapter was on the short side, but things needed to happen and get done and they have. The next chapter will be long, and intense, and angsty, but fluff is just around the corner if you stick around. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	84. Looking at Our Choices

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**This chapter goes back and forth between POVs because there are two **_**distinctive**_** story lines that are important.**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Kate and I kept in touch after breaking the seal. She and Sam had a mock fight for the sake of keeping Lilith off of our trail before she 'reunited' with him, and I found myself being sucked even deeper into Lilith's world and yet no closer to my original goal. It had been a _month and a half_ since I had _physically_ been in bed with my husband, and _three whole weeks_ since appearing in one of his dreams. Lilith was getting suspicious, I was getting restless, and I really just missed my family…so much I wanted to quit.

So I had tried to call Castiel to me several times, Megan getting a little suspicious—not that she wasn't already, but more so—and I was running out of options. I wanted to just run—I wanted to just go back to my life with my family—but I was too afraid that just taking off was going to piss Lilith off enough to send demons after Dean and Johnny and Sam and Kate…and I just couldn't risk that. I was here to protect them, and just giving up and running just wasn't an option right now.

"Where in God's name have you been?" I asked Castiel angrily when he visited me in a dream that night. "I am at my wit's end here, and I'm no closer to being strong enough to kill her yet…I can't do this anymore."

Castiel looked me in the eye. "This was your task, Lana—"

"—I don't really care anymore!" I interrupted him, shaking my head and closing my eyes as I composed myself. "Look…I want to go back to Dean and Johnny, okay? I can protect them better with them and Lilith just doesn't trust me enough to tell me anything. The only thing I've found out is that she has to be there for the final seal and I don't know what significance that makes—I feel like I've been away from my family for _no good reason_. Find me a reason to leave or I'm just going to leave."

"Have you heard anything about the death of angels?" Castiel asked me suddenly.

I raised my eyebrows and looked at him, wondering where in the world _that_ had come from because I really didn't have an answer for him there. Lilith and Megan had their own little conversations without me around and even sometimes with me in the room in hushed whispers away from me. As much as I had tried, after being back in control, there really wasn't anything that Lilith seemed to _want_ to divulge to me.

"I haven't heard _anything_ about angels being murdered." I told him honestly. "Why? Do you think that Lilith is behind this somehow?"

"I think that we have a lead." Castiel explained and then he took a step closer to me. "Dean is going to need you, so tie up some ends—pretend that you're going to be a double agent and keep Sam and Dean off of the scent. This isn't something Dean should go through without you…in fact you might even be able to persuade Dean to do what he really needs to do."

I made a face because I was confused. "What in the world does that mean, Cas? I need more than that."

"I'll let you know where we are when we're ready." Castiel told me simply.

I opened my mouth to ask another series of questions, but Castiel was gone and I was sitting up in the 'room' I was now almost used to. Neither Lilith nor Megan was around me, but when I walked out of the room, they were talking in hushed whispers. It was just a normal day with them it seemed…only I was about to leave and go back to the people I _actually_ cared about.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

"I think this is a _terrible_ idea, okay?" I asked Sam angrily, shaking my head. "I mean we've been through enough, don't you think? You and Dean beat the shit out of each other before Bobby and I stopped you when we met up with the Siren, Dean _hates _Ruby and he's testy about Lana being out of contact and Johnny using his powers more in retaliation to her being gone, he saw Tessa again, Pamela died and gave me a message for Lana and told _you_ that this was wrong, and now you're _drinking Skank's blood_! I mean I understand, okay—demon blood is what makes the powers stronger—but why do _you_ need it? We still have Lana!"

Sam took a deep breath. "You sound like you're not standing behind me on this decision, Katie. What if Lana needs help?"

"We will find a different way." I said firmly. "I will _kill_ her, Sam—this is wrong, and I trust Pamela's judgment, all right? Lana is our plan right now and Skank needs to back the fuck off and sooner rather than later."

"I'm tired of feeling like I can't help." Sam said softly.

"And I'm tired of burying our friends, okay?" I asked him shaking my head. "I'm tired of looking at Skank's face, I'm tired of hearing her voice, I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay with this, I'm tired of pretending that I think she's right, I'm just…I don't _want_ this, Sammy. I just…I want to be able to deal with this and then move on. What the Hell is up with even trusting her? Using your powers was one thing but blood? No. I completely and one hundred percent put my foot down."

I noticed the look on Sam's face when Dean walked into the motel room, Dean getting a look on his face too. So I turned around and I saw Castiel and Uriel standing there, which made me sigh because I really didn't want to deal with them right now. I knew they hadn't heard what I had said because Sam hadn't reacted until a little bit after I had said it, and now they were here…why?

"Winchester, Winchester and Newman—where's little Winchester Stain?" Uriel asked us.

I made a face. "I really don't think calling Johnny names right now is making you any less of a douche to any of us."

"You are needed." Uriel told Dean, looking right at him instead of prying into where Johnny was—I guess he didn't care that Bobby was babysitting him.

"Needed? We just got back from needed!" Dean told him, referring to our latest hunt with Pamela and Tessa.

"Now, you mind your tone with me." Uriel said firmly.

Dean gave him a look. "No, you mind your damn tone with us."

"Look, we just got back from Pamela's funeral a couple hours ago." Sam explained to him.

Castiel seemed to nod slowly and I had a feeling that it was just because he knew that Lana and Pamela had been close when Dean was dead. Other than him, Lana really only had Bobby close to her every day because she was with him instead of staying in Kansas with Jen and she and Pamela had bonded. Now Pamela was dead and Lana didn't even know yet and why wasn't Castiel chiming up?

"She died saving one of your precious seals. So, maybe you can stop pushing us around like chess pieces for five freakin' minutes!" Dean exclaimed, and in that moment I realized that Lana might know that Pamela was dead—because she was with Lilith, and Lilith was trying to break seals.

Uriel gave Dean a look. "We raised you out of hell for our purposes."

"Yeah, and what were those again? What exactly do you want from me?" Dean asked him.

"Start with gratitude." Uriel responded without so much as a pause.

"Oh!" Dean exclaimed, nodding his head.

Castiel spoke up finally. "Dean, we know this is difficult to understand—"

"—and we…don't…care." Uriel added and when we all looked at Castiel, he seemed almost impassive which was strange since Castiel and Dean had seemed to be becoming good friends these days—especially in Lana's absence…they just seemed like the respected and understood each other. "Now, seven angels have been murdered…all of them from our garrison. The last one was killed tonight."

"Demons?" Dean asked and Uriel nodded slowly. "How they doing it?"

"We don't know." Uriel responded, looking at Dean.

It seemed to me that this was almost a trap—Uriel showed up out of the blue to talk to us about demons killing angels when Ruby was fishing together a hunt? When she was trying to get Sam to try more of her blood even though I was putting my foot down about all of that. It just seemed to me that it was about time to make Ruby disappear forever so that she couldn't bother us anymore…killing her wouldn't hurt my conscious in the slightest to be perfectly candid.

"I'm sorry, but…but what do you want us to do about it?" Sam asked Uriel after a moment. "I mean, a demon with the juice to ice angels has to be out of our league, right?"

Uriel laughed a little. "We can handle the demons, thank you very much."

"Once we find whoever it is," Castiel added in.

"So, you need our help…hunting a demon?" Dean asked them.

"Not quite," Castiel responded walking up to him. "We have Alastair."

Dean nodded slowly. "Great. He should be able to name your triggerman."

"But he…won't talk," Castiel added in. "Alastair's will is very strong. We've arrived at an impasse."

"Yeah, well, he's like a black belt in torture. I mean, you guys are out of your league." Dean told them nodding.

I could tell that this wasn't really a conversation that Dean wanted to have and I reached out and took his hand a moment. If Lana had been here she would have chimed in by now or been rubbing his arm and this was the best that I could do. Honestly I knew where this was going—they wouldn't be here telling us all of this if they didn't want Dean to _do_ something about all of this…in a way that only Dean knew how to do…torture…

"That's why we've come to his student," Uriel replied with a nonchalant shrug. "You happen to be the most qualified interrogator we've got."

Castiel looked directly at Dean. "Dean…you're our best hope."

"No. No way. You can't ask me to do this, Cas…not this." Dean told him, shaking his head, obvious fear in his voice.

"Who said anything…about asking?" Uriel asked Dean, and then just like that, it was only Sam and I in the room.

"Damn-it!" Sam exclaimed and it took everything I had not to jump him because he'd sounded so hot just then—we had to find a way to find him.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

I looked around the warehouse that I had been brought to and I took a deep breath, not wanting to be here, but seeing Alastair being held prisoner in front of me. Why were they asking this of me? Why _Castiel_ of all people? With Lana gone and doing what I knew she had to do, Castiel and I had been bonding and he had to know that this wasn't what I wanted…there _had_ to be another way.

Down in Hell I had become a monster and I did _not_ want to become a monster again. Everything that I had been doing since I had gotten back was to try to make up for what I had become, and now to have the chance to pick up a razor and deal out the pain that I had always wanted to deal out to Alastair. This wasn't a good idea and Castiel had to know that…he _had_ to.

"This devil's trap is old Enochian. He's bound completely," Castiel explained to me.

I nodded and started walking across the room. "Fascinating. Where's the door?"

"Where are you going?" Castiel asked me.

"Hitch back to Cheyenne, thank you very much," I replied, going past Uriel.

"Angels are dying, Boy," Uriel told me, rematerializing in front of me.

I nodded slowly. "Everybody's dying these days, and, hey, I get it. You are powerful. You can make me do whatever you want, but you can't make me do this."

I turned to look at Castiel, knowing that out of Castiel and Uriel, Castiel was more likely to care. He didn't seem like he was exactly _pleased _about what they were asking of me, but I knew that orders were orders to him. Still, Castiel had to see that this was a bad idea and so he had to stop this. He had to convince Uriel to just let me go and let me get back to doing what I had been doing—hunting and protecting other seals.

"This is too much to ask, I know," Castiel explained to me, walking up to me. "But we have to ask it."

Uriel nodded slowly. "If you refuse, we can just ask your wife—I'm sure she'd _love_ to get a piece of Alastair…she just isn't really versed in torture."

Just the fact that Uriel was using Lana to get to me made my rage for him increase. Lana was this beautiful, independent, strong, caring woman, and she didn't need to see me do this, nor did she need to be part of this, let alone _do_ this.

"I want to talk to Cass alone." I told Uriel firmly.

"I think I'll go seek…revelation," Uriel said after a moment. "We might have some further orders."

"Well, get some doughnuts while you're out." I told him and Uriel actually laughed at my joke.

"Ah, this one just won't quit, will he? I think I'm starting to like you, Boy." Uriel said with a smile before he disappeared.

I was honestly a little surprised to see such emotion in an angel when Castiel was so stoic, but I didn't know if I was relieved about that or kind of worried. All I knew was that if I didn't crack another joke and then convince Castiel to let me out of this and to _promise _not to involve Lana, I was going to crack.

"You guys don't walk enough—you're gonna get flabby." I told Castiel, but he didn't even crack a smile. "You know, I'm starting to think Junkless has a better sense of humor than you do."

"Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone." Castiel responded seriously.

I nodded slowly and then got down to business. "What's going on, Cass? Since when does Uriel put a leash on you?"

"My superiors have begun to question my sympathies." Castiel explained to me.

"Your sympathies?" I asked him, raising my eyebrows.

Castiel nodded slowly. "I was getting too close to the humans in my charge…you. They feel I've begun to express emotions…the doorways to doubt. This can impair my judgment. They don't believe I should be this close to you…or your wife."

I nodded slowly as I took all of that in and on the one hand I was kind of flattered—he was expressing to me that our friendship was important. Yes, it was 'wrong' for him to put that above his orders, but it showed me that on a level maybe even _he_ couldn't see yet, he actually _cared_…it was helpful. Still, there was no way that I was going to do this—I just couldn't.

"Well, tell Uriel or whoever…you do not want me doing this, trust me." I told him shaking my head.

Castiel looked at me and I looked at Alastair, my back to Castiel now. "Want it? No…but I've been told we need it."

"You ask me to open that door and walk through it…you will not like what walks back out." I told him, feeling everything inside of me start to hurt.

"For what it's worth…I would give anything not to have you do this." Castiel said, and I could tell that he meant it.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I almost felt like Lilith was _too_ okay with letting me go—I almost felt like she believed me _too_ easily about me saying I was going to keep them away. On the one hand, I understood that we had been together long enough and I had helped her out with enough seals that on some level she _had_ to trust me, but she was _Lilith_. If I couldn't trust _her_ completely, she sure as Hell couldn't trust _me_ completely.

Still, I got out of there and then Uriel told me where Dean and Castiel were and I went straight there, Dean already in the room with a strung up demon—Alastair. I had gotten _really _good at figuring out who was who these days—my senses were impeccable, and I hated that Dean was in there…this was obviously big and it involved torture. Nothing had really happened yet, but Castiel looked at me when I showed up and walked straight over to him.

I admit that I was scared—not just for Dean, but for what this meant. He had felt so bad about what he had done in Hell and honestly, I couldn't blame him. All of the things that Alastair did to him and then in turn taught him to do to others? Dean didn't want to go through any of that again and I never wanted him to have to either…especially not without me by his side reassuring him that he would never have to go through anything alone again.

"Are you serious?" I asked Castiel angrily. "Why would you _do_ this to him?"

Castiel looked at the table in front of him. "We don't have a choice."

"Of course you don't—you have your orders." I said nodding sadly, a little angry about what end these orders had come to. "Where is Johnny?"

"He's with your friend…Bobby Singer." Castiel explained to me.

I laughed a little and nodded. "I'm glad he gets to spend time with Johnny…now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go in there and help my husband."

Without another word to Castiel, I went into the room and I perked up my ears as Alastair and Dean exchanged some words. I was wearing a red, fitted three-quarter length button-up shirt, dark, skinny jeans, and my favorite, supportive, deep brown boots, so I felt like I could at least roll my sleeves up and make Alastair bleed—that and my footsteps were soft and quiet so it wouldn't startle Dean. As I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, I felt the anger and hatred bottle up inside of me as well…this demon had hurt my husband…and he wasn't going to get away with that—tonight he was going to die.

"Now answer the question." Dean told Alastair firmly.

"Or what? You'll work me over? But then, maybe…you don't want to." Alastair told him and then started humming. "Maybe…you're a-scared to."

Dean looked at him hard as I pushed my bangs out of my face. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"Not entirely. You left part of yourself back in the pit. Let's see if we can…get the two of you back together again, shall we?" Alastair asked him.

"You're gonna be disappointed," Dean answered before going back to the service wagon.

"You have not disappointed me so far. Come on. You got to want a little payback for everything I did to you—for all the pokes and prods." Alastair said, goading him and making me proud of my strong husband as he resisted the taunting. "No? Then…how about for all the things I did to your daddy?"

I shook my head. "Now _that_ was uncalled for."

Dean's head jerked up as he looked at me, Alastair looking up and smirking, me taking in the whole visage of his new body. He had facial hair this time, and he spoke with a deeper, slightly creepier voice than before. Still, he was Alastair and I was going to rip out his throat and make him breathe through his blood before even _thinking_ about putting him out of his misery.

It hurt me a little bit that Dean looked so unhappy to see me, but I understood that—he didn't want me to see him like this, but I _needed_ to. I had to stand by him in his darkest hour and then stand by him after it to prove to him that I loved him and that there was _no way_ that he was going through _anything_ alone again. He was the man that I loved and he needed to know that I had his back even when he was so certain that there was no way that I possibly could. This was just something that the two of us were going to have to get through together since apparently there was no other way.

"Well if it isn't Little Miss Antichrist." Alastair said as Dean pleading with me with his eyes to turn around.

I rested my hand on Dean's and looked at Alastair. "I'm glad I chose red today—I can't stain my shirt with your blood."

"You talk big…but you don't have it in you." Alastair told me with a soft shrug even though he was chained upright.

"You have no _idea_ what I can do to you." I responded, Dean running his thumb along mine, his back to Alastair as he composed himself. "I bet you'd like to see though."

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

I ran my fingers through my hair exasperatedly as I looked through the spell book I had brought with me, trying to find a way to pinpoint Dean. It was harder than I had thought at first because of the protection that was surrounding wherever they were, and so I had caved—I had let Sam call up Ruby. So when there was a knock on the door, I gave Sam and look and he just nodded and stayed seated on the bed, me opening up the door and looking Ruby in the face.

"I can still smell them," Ruby said as she pushed past me, making me want to cut her right then and there. "Seriously, Sam, I'm not exactly dying to tangle with angels again."

I turned around and shut the door behind me. "First of all, I am _allowing_ you to be here, so show me some damn respect, all right? Second of all, you're going to tell us where Dean is, and then you're going to leave before I get knife happy and carve your ugly face."

"If it's possible, I think you're less happy to see me than normal." Ruby explained to me, laughing a little. "I'm not sure I see the problem with Dean being gone. You know they have Alastair, strung up six ways from Sunday. Dean cuts himself a slice, Al's reduced to a quivering heap, and the good guys get the goods. What's wrong with that?"

"What's wrong with that is the way they're going about it." I told her, Sam just relinquishing the talking for me.

"What, do you talk for Sam now, or something?" Ruby asked me.

I clenched my fists as she finally turned to acknowledge my presence and I tried hard not to just kill her right then. Sam's intentions for all of this were all nice and good and I trusted him no matter what he decided to do, but part of me felt like this was just _wrong_. Demon blood? Trusting Ruby? At first I got it because Sam was stronger and he was helping people by embracing what he was and I got the need to do that, but this was _dangerous_ territory that we were treading upon and I wasn't going to let this happen.

"I don't think you get how hard I am restraining myself from killing you right now, Ruby," I told her, putting a smile on my face that I knew was ominous. "Do what we called you here to do, do it without being a cheeky skank, and then get the fuck out before I change my mind and run you through right now. Capiche?"

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"So, you were goading us about John, huh? If a month is ten years, then man…you've had him for like…ever." I told Alastair, walking up to him as Dean looked through blades. "It's actually a really nice stalling tactic—have you felt your own skin boil from a thought?"

Alastair laughed loudly. "Your husband isn't going to be so happy to see you use your powers—you're already treading lightly."

"I don't really care," I responded with a soft shrug. "I love my husband, more than anything, and so the fact that I am standing just mere _inches_ away from the man that tortured him for 30 years in Hell? That just makes me giddy? See, I _saw_ what you did to him, and what _he_ did to other people, and I'm _still_ here…and I'm going to make you wish that you had never lived."

"Did you know that I made John the same offer?" Alastair asked me, and then he looked at Dean. "Every time I offered for him to just pick up my blade if he'd just torture some souls."

Dean took a deep breath. "Just give me the demon's name, Alastair."

"But…he said, 'nein', huh!" Alastair continued. "Each and every time. Damned if I couldn't break him!" Alastair said as I pushed my bangs out of my face and Dean took off his jacket. "Pulled out all the stops, but John…he was…made of something unique—the stuff of heroes. And then came Dean. Dean Winchester. I thought I was up against it again…but daddy's little girl," He said as Dean took a gulp of whiskey to ready himself, me clenching my fists. "He broke. He broke in 30. Just not the man your Daddy wanted you to be, huh, Dean?"

"Taunting the love of my life is really not your greatest move." I said with a laugh, finally knowing what I wanted to do first. "I'm kind of curious as to what your stomach looks like, Alastair. I mean have you ever actually thought about that?" I asked him, ripping the shirt he was wearing and placing my hand on him. "Once you ripped out Dean's heart and made him watch it beating in front of him since he couldn't die—he could just feel pain, but, your stomach," I said, pushing my hand inside of him and letting his screams overwhelm me. "Now _that _I want to see."

Some red stained Alastair's teeth as I stuck my other hand inside of his abdomen and tore at his flesh, pulling at his stomach as Dean put salt and holy water on a jagged blade and walked over. I didn't want him to see me actually _enjoying _torturing Alastair, but I was—I liked to see him in pain because for _30 years _he had put Dean in worse pain than this and I was going to make him break. At the same time, we needed information and if that meant me being intimidating in a darker way than before, than so be it.

xxxx

**Dean's POV**

Part of me felt scared of Lana as she showed this incredibly animalistic side to Alastair, but the other part of me was even more in love with her than I had been before. She was willing to lose herself—to _kill _for me—just to make sure that Alastair got what was coming to him. On the one hand I didn't want her to have to be part of this because she was my Lana—she wasn't a killer…she wasn't a torturer or a monster like me—but on the other hand she was doing this for the bigger picture.

There was a war that was going down here and she was willing to do _anything_ to be on the side of _good_…she was willing to do anything for _me_. For the first time since she had told me about it, I was actually glad that she was aware of how hard this was for me…and she wasn't taking 'no' for an answer when I wanted her to leave and not see me like this. Lana was in this for the long haul…and I was just going to have to accept that.

"Come on, Grasshopper," Alastair managed as Lana pulled out his actual stomach. "Your wife is more creative than you—she's actually almost impressing me."

I laughed a little and nodded. "You know something, Alastair? I could still dream, even in Hell." I explained, and I watched as Lana put his stomach back in and I handed her the knife, filling up a syringe with some holy water as Lana ran the salted, Holy water knife over his wounds, which made him wince and hiss a little. "And over and over and over, you know what I dreamt—other than getting back to Lana? I dreamt of _this_ moment…and believe me…I got a few ideas. So let me know if you want some more of this…there's plenty to go around."

Lana took a step back and I put the syringe into Alastair's chest, injecting the Holy water and listening to him howl. If I said that the sound didn't bring me satisfaction, then I would be lying to you. In fact, for a moment I wondered _why_ Lana was letting me do this, and then it hit me—she was willing to do this on her own, but she knew I wouldn't let her do it…and she wouldn't let me. We were the perfect, dysfunctional pair, and I knew it.

"Go directly to Hell," Alastair replied breathless as I set the syringe on the table. "Do not pass go. Do not collect $200."

"Atta boy." Lana said, and I couldn't help but smile a little.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

I watched as Ruby took a candle and set fire to a map, reciting an incantation. The edges of the map went up in flames and she ended the spell, the map completely on fire, Sam getting up to stop it. I went to stop him though, Ruby laughing a little at his reaction even though it was perfectly normal for him to—that map was our ticket to Dean.

"Relax," Ruby told Sam, shaking her head. "The fire is our friend. Besides, the only part of the map we need is the 'where's Dean?' part. Out."

As soon as she said it, the flames went out a tiny bit of the map was still intact—it was actually an incredibly clever spell. For a moment I actually wanted to praise her on her work, but on the other hand I kind of still hated her guts and I didn't want her getting any ideas. Besides, once she gave us the information that we needed, we were going to send her off and we weren't going to deal with her anymore…if I had any say in the matter. Honestly, if I had to kill her to get rid of her…then so be it.

"There. Your brother is there, and it's a good thing angels aren't concerned with hiding their dirty business. Not used to being spied on. I mean, who'd be stupid enough to try?" Ruby asked shaking her head.

Sam swallowed slowly. "It's been weeks, Ruby…I need it."

"Okay, we _talked_ about this!" I exclaimed, shaking my head.

"Neither of you sounds too happy about this," Ruby said, actually looking at me. "Why are you so quick to shut this down?"

"BECAUSE THIS ISN'T NORMAL!" I yelled at her. "There is another way, and this is _not_ happening!"

Ruby laughed and shook her head. "This is the _only_ way, and you're going to have to get used to that, Kate. Do you _want_ Lana to die? Because she's going to need some back-up."

"Then we'll give her back-up without Sam doing…_this_," I responded, shaking my head and stepping up to her. "I swear to God, Ruby…Lana isn't going to be gone forever. She is going to be able to sense _everything_, which means that she'll know when you're around or not and then the next time I see you? I _will_ kill you—I'm not kidding anymore. This is stupid, and you're a demon, and I don't trust you. I'm a witch, and I remember you once saying that witches were whores…but that's better than being an ugly skank. Name-calling, I know, it's uncalled for and it's unprofessional but you listen to me right now, Ruby—_**no more**_."

"I think this is _my_ decision, Katie…" Sam said softly, and yet it was firm and I didn't like the tone of voice.

Slowly I turned to him and tried to look him in the eye, but he wasn't making direct eye contact with me and that upset me greatly. It was like he was making this decision and he didn't care whether or not I agreed with it even though we were _engaged_ and we were supposed to be making these decisions _together_. Yeah, I was kind of taking this all into my _own_ hands, but it was like he didn't see that she was _poisoning_ him.

"Oh…so you're just going to let her _poison_ you?" I asked him angrily.

Ruby rolled her eyes. "I am _not_ poisoning him."

"I'm warning you for the _last_ time to _STAY OUT OF THIS_!" I screamed, my eyes flashing as I looked at Ruby and then looked at Sam. "Sam, you _crave_ her blood. I mean, it's like a drug, and drugs are bad—you don't have to be a genius to know that. This is _wrong_, and in Pamela's last dying breaths, she told you to stop this, and you know what? This is wrong, and I think that you actually _trust_ Ruby…and I don't. I don't because I love you, and I can see that isn't what we want. But you know what? It's her…" I told him, taking off my engagement ring and holding it up. "Or it's me…but you can't have both, and I _will_ walk out that door and not come back, because I will _not_ watch you destroy yourself."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

"There's that little pig poker," Alastair exclaimed, seeing the hunting knife Dean was holding in his hand. "I wondered where it went," he said while Dean poured Holy water on it. "Do you really think this is gonna fix you? Give you closure? Oh, that is sad," Alastair told him as Dean went up to him with the knife.

It was hard for me to see Dean like this, but at I really wanted Alastair to suffer as much as possible. This was what Dean was afraid of—becoming a monster again—but I knew that my husband was too strong to let that happen. So I just wiped the blood off of my hands with a cloth and then I glanced up as Alastair continued to speak because I knew that sooner or later his words were going to make Dean break…Hell, some of the things he was saying were making me break already…

"I…carved you into a new animal, Dean." Alastair managed as Dean twisted the knife inside of him. "There is no…going back."

Dean nodded and twisted the knife some more. "Maybe you're right…but now it's my turn to carve."

As Alastair moaned in pain, my attention diverted from the creaking of the pipes he was attached to, and instead I was drawn in by a familiar presence—Anna. What was she doing here and why? I was hoping—even though I knew it was really just a wish—that she wouldn't come back…even though deep down I knew that she almost _had_ to. She was so against Heaven and I was so for it, but which one of us was right? Heaven _was_ making my husband torture a demon right now for its own personal gain.

"Somehow I didn't think that you would come back looking like…your human form." I told Anna as I left the room, Dean knowing I was coming back.

I made sure not to leave the room without letting him know that I was leaving and I was coming back in, and now I was face to face with Anna. Castiel was avoiding her gaze and yet I wanted to know why she was there—the angels were still supposed to kill her if they could. She was risking everything to be here…why?

"You're letting them make him torture." Anna told me coldly.

"Apparently this is God's will." I responded, looking her in the eye. "Who are we to question the will of God, Anna?"

Anna nodded slowly. "Unless this _isn't_ his will."

"Then where do the orders come from?" Castiel asked her.

"I don't know. One of our superiors maybe…but not Him," Anna replied, all of us hearing Dean splash Alastair with Holy water and then ask him who was killing the angels again. "The father you love…you think He wants this? You think He'd ask this of you? You think this is righteous? What you're feeling, it's called doubt."

I watched as Anna placed her hand on Castiel's and I swallowed as I let her words sink in, barely catching her telling Castiel that what he was feeling was doubt. On the one hand she made a _lot_ of sense—why in the world would God want such a beautiful man like Dean to do such terrible things? On the other hand his children were dying, and if this was the way to avenger them then so be it—after all, what else were Avenging angels for?

"You can do the right thing." Anna told Castiel as I thought about returning to Dean. "You're afraid, Cas. I was, too…but together, we can—"

"Together?" Castiel repeated, pulling his hand back. "I am nothing like you. You fell! Go."

Anna looked at him sadly and I turned around to go back to Dean. "Cas…"

"Go," Castiel repeated, and I felt Anna leave as I returned into the room.

There was a lot to think about as Anna's words still rang in my ears, and I took a deep breath as I fixed my ponytail. Alastair was telling Dean that Dean really didn't have any idea just _how_ bad what he had done was, and for a minute I felt like maybe there wasn't really anyone that we could trust. Then again…so much truth seemed to be coming out of everyone's mouths and I just needed time to think it all over.

"Shut up." Dean told Alastair, getting salt and Holy water into a bag.

Alastair nodded slowly. "The whole bloody thing, Dean. The reason Lilith wanted you there in the first place…she has so many plans—some that don't even involve you."

"Okay, then I'll just make you shut up." Dean told him, pouring the contents of the bag down Alastair's throat so he couldn't look at me anymore.

For a moment as Alastair hacked up his throat, I had a feeling that maybe what I was looking for had been right in front of me all the time. What if it had all been an act—Lilith, Megan…all of it? What if all this time the real key wasn't Johnny or Sam or the psychics or anything…what if Lilith just wanted…_me_? What if my father created me, and I was supposed to be used specifically to help to raise Lucifer? I mean it had to be _more _than just a coincidence that one of the seals dealt _specifically _with _my _family line.

"Wait a minute…hold up…Lilith's plan ultimately has to do with _me_…doesn't it?" I asked Alastair slowly.

Dean shook his head. "Lanni, no, just—don't let him talk to you. This is what he wants and this is _not _what we're here for."

"It was supposed to be John," Alastair explained, looking directly at me. "I gave him the same proposition I gave your wife and he never took it. But Dean…he said, 'sign me up'. Oh, the first time you picked up my razor, the first time you sliced into that weeping bitch…" Alastair told Dean, and then just like that the attention was back on me. "That was the first seal."

"You're lying." Dean told him, walking up to him as my face changed—what?

"'And it is written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in hell. As he breaks, so shall it break'," Alastair explained, Dean walking away from him and looking like he was going to lose it, but trying to stay strong, just standing with his back to Alastair. "We had to break the first seal before any others—only way to get the dominoes to fall right. Topple the one at the front of the line."

I nodded slowly because I knew it was the truth—too much of it made too much sense all put together. Castiel hadn't brought my husband back to bring him back to me…he had brought him back because he had unknowingly started this whole thing. There was no way that he could have known and I in _no way _faulted him for it, but _Dean _was going to blame himself.

"When we win...when we bring on the apocalypse and burn this Earth down…we'll owe it all to you…Dean Winchester. Believe me, Son, I wouldn't lie about this. It's kind of a…religious sort of thing with me." Alastair told us.

I nodded as Dean told him he knew it was true and then suddenly there was a hand against my face—Alastair was free. Since I was caught off guard, I landed across the room, but I got up quickly as Alastair started to beat Dean and I held up my hand, Alastair stopping, Dean slumping to the ground. The sound of Alastair's fist hitting Dean's face was sounding in my ears and I was pissed…he wasn't supposed to be able to hurt Dean _ever again_.

"Tell me who's murdering the angels." I told him as I sent him up against the wall, Castiel coming in and just watching me at work. "That's what we were sent here for, and I'd really like to know before I kill you."

Alastair laughed at that. "Oh, I know I'm going to die, but even if I knew…I wouldn't tell you."

"It's a shame I didn't get to boil your skin." I said shaking my head, applying some pressure and listening to him scream as I used my powers on him. "It would have made this _so _much more fun."

"You already know that Lilith isn't behind it!" Alastair told me when I let up a little. "You've been with her long enough to know that…but it isn't us…it's not the demons."

I nodded slowly as I felt the presence of Sam and Kate entering the room and I took a deep breath and I glanced at them. My hold on Alastair was firm and true and he wasn't going to get away, but it was nice to see familiar faces, and they nodded at me. They understood more than almost anyone that I needed to do this, and I needed to do this _my _way after everything that was happening.

"That's disconcerting, but…I believe you." I told Alastair, making eye contact with him again. "Now it's time for you to die."

With just a look, Alastair was dying right in front of me, which scared Sam, Kate _and_ Castiel—they didn't realize how strong I had become. Some of my sense were just simply heightened, and as soon as Alastair's body slid down the wall, I was over to Dean, and we were taking him to a hospital.

xxxx

At the hospital, Dean got all hooked up to the instruments and he even got his own room, Sam sitting by his side when I wasn't. Kate and I had a little chat as we grabbed some coffee, waiting for Dean to wake up, and it turned out that Kate and Sam had fought and he'd picked her over Ruby. I didn't know what the fight was about, but all that mattered was that Sam was making the right decisions—he had picked right who to trust.

"I'm still trying to figure out all of this, you know?" Kate asked me, taking a sip of her coffee as we headed back to Dean's room. "I mean this is big, and somehow we're all part of it."

I nodded slowly. "Scarily yes…but I am kind of glad that Johnny is with Bobby right now so he doesn't have to deal with _any_ of this, in _any_ form."

"When do you have to go back to Lilith?" Kate asked me slowly.

"I'm not going back to Lilith until I'm strong enough to kill her." I told her firmly. "I'm done with that. I've been away from my family for too long and my husband needs me. Besides, Bobby told me on the phone an hour ago that he was feeling a little babysittered out, so I need to be around more for the son I miss so terribly."

"I'm just glad you're back." Kate said with a smile.

I was going to tell her that I was glad to be back, but we turned the corner of the hallway in the hospital to find Sam and Castiel arguing. Sam was pretty upset that Dean was in such bad shape even though I had been there, and we were all pretty upset about Dean having to torture Alastair in the first place. At the same time I didn't think this was Castiel's fault—he was simply following orders.

"This whole thing…was pointless. You understand that? The demons aren't doing the hits. Something else is killing your soldiers." Sam told Castiel angrily.

"Perhaps Alastair was lying." Castiel offered slowly.

Sam shook his head. "No. He wasn't."

Kate followed Sam into the hospital room to go back to Dean, Castiel and I making eye contact. It almost felt to me like Castiel thought that I was going to yell at him too, but that really wasn't the case. I knew that he cared about Dean, and I knew that he was trying to do best by God and even though things ended up really bad, Castiel really didn't need to have all of this blame put on him.

"Just figure out what's happening." I told Castiel calmly. "We'll still be here a little while longer…don't blame yourself."

Castiel nodded slowly. "I did not intend to."

"Good." I told him with a smile. "I just…I want you to know that I appreciate everything you've been doing for me—for us. Getting me through Dean being in, getting him through me being gone, not ever threatening my family…letting me be there for him. Thank you. You're the best guardian angel that anyone could ever have—and yes I know that's not technically what you are."

"I…" Castiel began, and I nodded for him to continue. "I'm considering disobedience after this."

I nodded slowly too. "Yeah…what Anna said kind of has me all second guessing a lot of things, but I still firmly believe in God…I just want to know what Dean torturing Alastair had to do with anything—it was a dead end and I feel like maybe it was a trap."

"You have great power now," Castiel said slowly. "I…I feel, I think…we are losing this war. I want to know what to do."

"I don't know what to do." I told him sadly, reaching out and taking his hand in mine with my free one. "I have no idea what it is that Heaven wants, but I trust in _you_…and maybe you should try to trust in _yourself_…I believe in you."

I nodded when Castiel did and then went into Dean's room too as Castiel took off to try and answer his questions. I was having a feeling that something big was going down, but all of that fell away as Dean stirred a little and opened up his eyes. Smiling at him I sat closest to his bed, taking his hand in mine and setting my coffee off to the side, bringing my lips to Dean's hand.

"I'm surprised you're still here." Dean managed, though I knew talking with the tube up his nose was hard.

I smiled a little more as he tried to smile at Sam and Kate too. "Baby, I'm not leaving you ever again, okay? I'm here to stay…my place is here with you."

Dean seemed happy to hear that and he nodded, Sam and Kate telling Dean about how they wanted to take a small break back at home while he recuperated. He didn't seem to have any problem with that, and Bobby was on his way with Johnny so that I could spend some time by my husband's side, so for now things seemed all right…I just wanted to know what was happening with Castiel because I felt so much like he needed me right then, but my place was here—by my husband's side where I hadn't physically been for the last month and a half.

Kate and Sam ended up going off to get something to eat that night, Bobby and Johnny about an hour and a half away, and then Castiel showed up. Dean was resting and I was reading a book, both of us having tried _not_ to talk about Alastair together right now because with the tube up his nose it was just a more uncomfortable conversation than it was before. Still, it was nice to see Castiel paying a visit because Dean really needed to have him here—he really needed to ask some questions and get some answers, and he needed to be reassured that Castiel did in fact care about us.

"Are you all right?" Castiel asked him.

Dean was still weak but he managed to be cross. "No thanks to you."

"You need to be more careful." Castiel informed him.

"You need to learn how to manage a damn devil's trap." Dean bantered back, and I smiled just a little bit.

"That's not what I mean. Uriel is dead." Castiel said, and I looked at him, my smile fading.

I took a breath. "When Alastair said that the demons weren't doing this…"

"Uriel," Castiel replied with a small nod.

I nodded too and then closed my eyes, feeling like I really hadn't wanted to be right—I didn't want to think this was all a trap. So the devil's trap—it had broken because Uriel had _wanted_ it to. He hadn't _ever_ been keen on me, or on Dean questioning him, and he was just trying to turn Dean into a reason to throw him back into the pit, and then if I snapped he could kill me and Johnny…right? It was the only plausible scenario that I could come up with.

"Is it true? Did I break the first seal? Did I start all this?" Dean asked Castiel, and I looked at him.

I knew it was about time that Dean asked that question, but I hadn't really wanted to get into that right now. Even if he had, he really didn't need to dwell on it and blame himself like he was going to—there was absolutely _no way_ that he could have known that he was starting this.

"Yes…when we discovered Lilith's plan for you…we laid siege to hell, and we fought our way to get to you before you…" Castiel trailed off.

Dean nodded slowly. "Jump-started the apocalypse."

"But we were too late." Castiel explained, shaking his head.

"Why didn't you just leave me there, then?" Dean asked him sadly, feeling incredibly down and trodden upon.

"Dean…" I said shaking my head, pain building up inside of me at how hurt and broken Dean felt right now.

Castiel looked at him and I wanted to ask about my nightmares and about why it was that I had to see what was happening, but I knew he wanted to talk to Dean, so I wanted them to finish first. This was important, and Dean needed to understand and I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to know what was going on. This was just one more of the reasons why Dean and I needed to stay together on this—we were supposed to be getting through all of this together.

"It's not…blame that falls on you, Dean. It's fate—and the righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it." Castiel explained to him.

"Lucifer? The apocalypse? What does that mean?" Dean asked him, but Castiel remained silent. "Hey! Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean?"

Castiel paused just a moment longer. "I don't know."

"Bull!" Dean told him.

"I don't. Dean, they don't tell me much. I know…how our fate rests with you…or Lana." Castiel admitted, and I believed him.

"Well, then, you guys are screwed. I can't do it, Cass. It's too big," Dean said, his voice trembling.

I took that moment to get up and sit closer to my husband, taking his hand whether he wanted me to or not. He needed to know that no matter what he thought of himself, I thought he was strong and a hero, and I was going to be right by his side to help him all through it. He wasn't the broken, terrible, weak man that he thought that he was and I really wished that he knew that.

"Alastair was right. I'm not all here. I'm…I'm not…I'm not strong enough," He told us, tears in his eyes. "Well, I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me."

He turned his head so that neither Castiel nor I could see his eyes and when I looked at Castiel, he looked as pained as me. We both believed that Dean was stronger than he believed himself to be, and in the broken silence I had to speak up. There were still questions that I needed answers to in order to fix this…in order to handle this.

"The nightmares…why did you give them to me?" I asked him.

Castiel made eye contact with me. "Heaven believed that it was imperative that you understand what kinds of demons you were up against…imperative that you would be able to somewhat understand what your husband was going through. No matter the tasks you must accomplish separately, you are stronger together."

I nodded slowly, smiling a little because the first time that I had heard that, Dean had said it. Actually, I had said it first, but that had been a _long_ time ago and times were different…but that was still the same—Dean and I needed each other. There was nothing that we couldn't accomplish _together_.

"All right…I need to talk to my husband alone for a moment…" I told Castiel slowly.

He nodded, and with one last look at Dean, he disappeared and I looked at Dean, who kept his face away from me. I knew that I really just needed him to listen to me—it really didn't matter to me if he looked at me or not, as long as he acknowledged what it was that I was saying to him. There were just things that had to come out of my mouth, and he just had to listen to me…he didn't even need to speak.

"I thought a lot while I was gone about the choices that we'd made…the good _and_ the bad," I explained to him, taking a deep breath. "Mostly I thought about _my_ choices—all of the decisions that I've made throughout my life. I always told myself that I would live a life without regret, but there are choices I would make differently given a second chance at them, you know? I would have kept Annie close instead of letting there be an opening for Dad to take her from me, I would have told you I was alive, I never would have pressured you into answering me about getting married and I never would have gone to Lilith without telling you _why_ I was doing it first."

Dean nodded a little bit, me smiling because he was listening to me, and even though he wasn't looking at me, I was going to continue. He and I had to have this out in the open and it was something that I really need to get off of my chest.

"So there are things that I regret in my life, I guess—and things that I don't because I know they were the right thing to do." I continued, nodding a little as Dean ran his thumb along my hand. "You want to know what the absolute _best_ decision I ever made was? Like the one decision I would never _ever_ take back no matter what?"

Dean swallowed, still looking at the wall and not me. "Having Johnny?"

"Falling in love with you," I told him without skipping a beat, a small smile spreading across my face. "Having Johnny is the second best decision I ever made."

Dean turned to look at me, nodding slowly as I squeezed his hand, taking another breath and then kissing his hand softly. He was touched by my words and I was glad, and I just wanted him to know that my life with him was what I wanted. It was hard sometimes, and there were days that he and I needed to slow down and take a break from the hunting life, but this was what I wanted—a life with Dean.

I looked Dean in the eye and smirked a little. "I mean I guess you could argue that I didn't have a choice to fall for you—honestly I don't think I did, but—"

"—I love you, Lanni." Dean told me softly.

"I love you too." I responded honestly, nodding slowly. "We're going to get through this…together."

**Note: I know I have changed a **_**lot **_**of the original kind of story line, but I **_**promise **_**you that it will still work with the Season Five story arch, okay? I'm just going about part of it differently and I like this way more because I feel like with their women with them, different decisions would be made and ultimately, it's not **_**just **_**about **_**them**_**. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	85. Johnny's Secret

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**It's kind of another filler chapter, but it's **_**really**_** important and it has some flashbacks that are important too.**

**As the title suggests, this chapter has a **_**lot**_** to do with Johnny.**

**This is also my first update of 2011 because this story and the characters in it are my babies.**

**HAPPY NEW YEAR! (Even though that was a week ago, haha)**

**WARNINGS: Rated "M" for language, dirty thoughts, sex, innuendo, blood, violence and dark themes.**

**ENJOY!**

xxxx

I have to admit that trying to go back to my life with Dean and Johnny was a lot harder than I had anticipated it would be. To a certain degree I knew that acclimating was going to be difficult, but I didn't expect everyone to be so cold towards me at first—and by everyone I really just meant Dean. Sam and Kate understood why I had left and it seemed like Sam and Dean had already forgiven _her_ for killing a poor, defenseless virgin to _break a seal_…but I'd been with Lilith for two months—_that_ was just not acceptable.

All I could think about those days was mine and Dean's fight a few days ago when we got him checked out of the hospital. I got him home and tried to settle him in, calling Bobby, Mom and then Ellen when it seemed like things were taking a turn for the worst—I just needed someone to talk to. He was just so upset even though he was still sore and emotionally broken, and I didn't know how to help him through his funk.

"_So you came back." Dean told me when we got into the house, his nose still bruised and a little but._

_I nodded slowly as we took off our jackets. "Yeah…it's time for me to be back here with you and Johnny."_

"_So you don't want to be with Lilith anymore? You're switching back sides now?" He inquired, hanging his jacket up on the coat rack by the front door._

"_Come on, Dean—Cas and I explained to you that it was just a cover…we know a little more, don't we?" I asked him, taking a deep breath and sighing when Sam and Kate brought Johnny in, all bundled up._

_Bobby had stayed for a little bit in the hospital the night before and I was thankful for him, but I had let him get back to his own business. Then Johnny and I had spent a lot of time together and he wanted to hang out with his aunt and his uncle, which I was more than happy to let him do. I wasn't planning on being far away from him again, and if him spending time with his aunt and uncle because he __**wanted**__ to helped me with talking to Dean one on one and fixing things between us, than so be it._

"_What you put me through wasn't fair. I appreciate that you were there for me when I had to torture Alastair after being away for weeks without a word, and that you sat by my side in the hospital when Alastair escaped, but you can't just do this, Lanni." Dean told me slowly as Kate and Sam retreated into the living room with Johnny and his teddy bear to give Dean and me some space. "You can't just come back and expect everything to go back to how it was."_

_I nodded slowly, understanding his position. "I know, I'm not making any excuses…I just want to see you and Johnny. Is there any way that we can get past this?"_

I had been channeling my feelings into hunting—yes, I know how unhealthy that is—and that seemed to push Dean even farther over the edge. That night I had actually come home bleeding and Dean took one look at me, got a scowl on his face, and then he pointed up the stairs sternly. I just nodded and went straight up, not wanting to start anything with him since it seemed like suddenly we had switched roles. No, he was not being a 'housewife' or anything like that, but it was _me_ who was making reckless decisions all willy-nilly instead of _him_, and it just seemed out of character…no matter the fact that I didn't know what else to do.

"I thought that you coming back would mean that you would be the reason around here, but I was wrong." Dean said as he got some gauze from the bathroom that connected to our room. "Take off your shirt."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Why? I can fix my own wound."

"Too bad, I'm doing it for you." Dean responded as he looked for the rubbing alcohol under the sink.

"I thought you wanted me to figure things out." I told him as I started to pull my shirt off over my head, messing up the curls that I had been sporting.

"I didn't mean by going off and almost getting killed."

"Oh, so it's not okay when _I_ do it, but when you do it, it is?"

"That isn't what I said."

"Well, that's what you're implying."

I ran my fingers through my hair and rustled my curls a bit, knowing it was fruitless to try and save them, but I needed something to do since Dean was looking at me like that. He was upset with me and I knew that and I got it, but I didn't think it was fair that he was holding me at a double standard here—this was the first time I'd escaped into hunting to get away from my problems…he'd done it more times than I could count. I always let it go after getting a little upset too because I got it—hunting was something that he was used to and to be fair he was right…it _was_ a good way to relieve stress.

"When did I become the wife here?" Dean asked me, coming out of the bathroom with rubbing alcohol and gauze.

I smiled a little and shrugged. "Beats me—honestly I expected us to be past this already. I was expecting some yelling, some cuddling, some serious make-up sex, and then a little more talking and it would all be resolved…so far all we've done is yell and spoon a little at night. Could it be you're cranky because of the lack of sex for a little over two months and I'm cranky because I did a stupid thing that you're never going to forgive me for?"

"Whatever—you miss the sex just as much as I do." Dean said as he poured some alcohol on a wad of gauze and went to apply it to the wound on my side. "What the Hell got you, anyway?"

"That would be a Greplin." I responded with a shrug. "Don't worry, it's all taken care of, I just got scratched."

"Did you have to let the Greplin hurt you where I tend to grab during sex?" Dean asked me, giving me a judging look.

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Okay, 1) what does it matter when we're not having any? And 2) the second that the word 'sex' came out of my mouth, we started to argue for an _entirely_ different reason and I'm not sure how comfortable I am with that…shouldn't we resolve our issues and _then_ have sex?"

"Well, I mean, if you _have_ to do it that way." Dean said rolling his eyes, making a face when I hissed and cringed as he went to clean up the wound. "Sorry, Lanni."

I smiled a little bit. "Well, that's a start."

He hadn't called me by my nickname since he was checked out of the hospital, and I was honestly glad that he was warming back up to me. It just felt like my "betrayal" had been _too_ big, but he was giving me hope that there was a chance to work right through this. The fact that he blew air on the cut on my side and looked up to make eye contact with me, gave me even more hope…especially when he winked at me.

"I take it that other than this hunt that you have sore feelings for, you had already forgiven me?" I asked him.

Dean shrugged a little. "Yeah…because I get why you did it. You didn't want to—the angels told you to and you have power that they don't, so they exploited you…though I do have to ask one thing."

"Just one?" I teased, smiling a little when he kissed my side, his lips brushing the skin around the wound.

"If you're stronger than them, why did you let them intimidate you?" Dean asked me.

I nodded slowly and then took a deep breath. "Because to be honest, I trust that they could hurt you and/or Johnny faster than I could stop them from hurting you. I hated being away from you almost as much you hated me being gone, but I had to—I just hate that I broke a seal…that I helped her to three others…but at least those were failed attempts!"

"I can't believe you killed a poor girl who hadn't even gotten laid yet." Dean said as he headed into the bathroom for some Neosporin.

"I feel bad about that too, okay?" I told him honestly, closing my eyes and ignoring the slight pain that shot through my body as he applied the Neosporin.

"Sorry," He said again, kissing my shoulder this time as he wiped the excess Neosporin on the gauze he was going to put on my side. "Medical tape or a wrap around?"

"Medical tape, please." I responded with a nod. "It's far less wasteful."

Dean nodded in agreement and finished patching me up, smiling at me and then putting all of the medical gear away. Then he sat down on the bed with me and shook his head as I went to get up and grab a new shirt, me raising my eyebrows but smiling a little when he kissed me. His lips were so soft and warm and to be honest I had missed them—I had missed practically everything about him.

The way he got up late in the morning and always made a fuss about being woken up early, the way he shoved food into his face—though I missed his body more. It wasn't about the sex or the kissing or the groping—though I'm not going to say I didn't miss that too—it was the cuddling and the hand holding when things were rough. He was getting so much "better" at making sure that no matter what was going on or where we were, he showed me that he cared about how I was…he gave me a peck on the lips or he squeezed my hand reassuringly.

He bit my bottom lip softly as I leaned into him, and then reached down and moved my legs so that they were draping over his lap. I cringed a moment when he rested his hand on my side and accidentally pressed on my wound, Dean sighing a little and pulling back, his eyes looking back into mine—he was sorry. All he wanted was to kiss me and be close to me, and yet I had gone out and gotten myself hurt and _he_ was sorry.

"Are you expecting some sex here, Dean?" I asked him point blank, reaching up and cupping his face, running my thumb along his chin.

Dean chuckled a little and shrugged. "I was kind of hoping for it."

"All right…then I think a talk is in order." I told him.

"No, it's okay," Dean told me, leaning back and opening up the drawer of the nightstand, holding up the condoms we had stashed in there. "We're good—completely protected sex. I remember our last few talks about it, and trust me, I—"

"—actually, I haven't been on birth control since I left to be a double agent, and I'd rather have sex _without_ the protection if you don't mind." I told him quickly, glad that I could get out what it was that I wanted to talk to him about.

Dean raised his eyebrows and then he relaxed. "Wait a minute…does that mean…?"

"It means I'm sick and tired of everyone else determining how _we_ are going to live our lives." I told him with a shrug. "I mean I still believe and agree with what I've said before, but I'm tried of running—I'm tired of us putting _our_ happiness on hold when we just want to be a family. I mean, us…_us_ the dysfunctional antichrist and the damaged hunter…I just want to be happy…with _you_."

Dean smiled and stroked my hair, taking a deep breath and taking in everything that I said to him. He had been so ready to keep going—to have a second kid—before all of this had happened, and honestly I had a feeling that we were honestly okay. The two of us wanted to start over and continue our lives together and this seemed like the perfect time to do just that.

"What brought all of this about?" Dean asked me.

I shrugged a little bit. "Remember that girl I was when we were still getting to know each other? That girl that was actually optimistic and wanted to take on all your burdens and thought that all that mattered was us and the world could come in second? Well I want to be that girl again."

"After everything that has happened…you still believe that we can say 'screw the world' and be all right?" Dean asked, leaning in a little bit, breathing on my face and glancing at my lips like old times.

"I still believe it." I answered honestly. "The question is: do _you_ still want to do this?"

Dean answered me by crashing his lips into mine, and honestly I didn't know if this meant he actually _wanted_ another kid, or he just really wanted to have sex with his wife again, finally. Still, he slipped his tongue into my willing mouth, and I started to just not really care about the fact that I wasn't sure because Dean and I were back—at least mostly so. The two of us _deserved_ this, and I was _honestly_ trying to do this and he was _honestly_ ready to just move past this…so it was worth it to just let this happen.

I knew that I should have realized it right off the bat, but for some reason it dawned on me that Dean and I were trying for a baby. It had been a little while since we had done just that, and I smiled at how soft and loving his touch was as he started placing open-mouthed kisses all over my body, running his fingers along my skin gently as I laid there under him on the bed, tilting my head back into the pillows as Dean started to move his mouth lower.

"Someone's dragging this out," I managed to breathe out, a smile on my face.

Dean chuckled and kissed my inner thigh. "Someone's going to lay there and enjoy it."

I just smiled as I felt Dean work on me with his tongue and his fingers, wanting to show him how happy I was by reciprocating what he was doing, but he wanted me to just enjoy it, so I did. _He_ wanted to be the one to be in charge of this encounter and after everything that I had put him through he deserved that much. So when he brought me over the edge with his fingers, he chuckled and moved back up my body, pressing his lips to mine.

He took my bottom lip into his teeth and then hissed when my hand went in between our bodies and wrapped itself around him. I tugged on him in all the ways that I knew that he liked, smiling and breathing through my mouth as he took my wrist and pinned it to the pillows, entering me in one fast motion. His mouth covered mine as I let out a soft cry, and he moved his body against mine at a determined pace, our bodies moving in time.

Instead of continuing to pin my wrist, Dean held my hand and our fingers entwined, his other hand cupping my face as he kissed me, the pace quickening a little as I gripped his shoulder with my nails with my free hand. He brought me to my breaking point right before he toppled over the edge himself, both of us moving together a little bit longer before he slipped out, mouth covering mine again as he did so. I smiled when he let go of my hand and let me wrap my arms around him, both of us kissing for a little while longer and then going again before just lying next to each other in silence.

Dean propped his head up on his hand and laid there on his side with the sheet and the blankets covering his bottom half, the sheet covering me as I laid on the bed on my back, my eyes on the ceiling. I was fiddling with the top of the sheet and Dean looked at me, running the fingers of his free hand along my shoulder that was farthest from him. He leaned down and kissed my shoulder closest to him, making me smile a little and look at him. I reached up and rested my hand on his peck, Dean resting his head back on his hand and waiting for me to say something.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked him softly, still looking up at the ceiling.

Dean smiled sadly. "I was hoping that trying to make a baby would put you in a better mood than this—that look on your face is your 'I'm thinking everything over' look."

"How do you still love me after all of this? After everything that I have done?" I asked him, looking at him as he made a face at me. "I know, I know—I got mad at you for asking the same things when you came back from Hell but come on, Dean…what are we doing here?"

"Get dressed and take me to where you broke the seal with Kate." Dean told me softly, both of us knowing that it needed to be done.

Every time that Dean and I had a heart to heart these days, we tried to do it some place where we could both clear our minds—both think _directly_ about what it was that we were talking about. In this case, Dean understood me well enough to know that I really needed to be in the place where I had broken…the place where everything had changed. He wanted to see where things between us has broken a little bit and I was thankful that he knew that…I was so incredibly thankful for _him_.

I kissed him tenderly and then we both got up and got dressed, checking on Johnny a moment and then heading to leave a baby monitor with Kate and Sam, both of us hearing them having some rather loud sex, so I just used a spell and had the monitor appear in their room. Neither of us wanted to walk in on them, and neither of us really wanted to stand around and hear them go at it, so we just hurried out the door and to the Impala, ending up in the cemetery where it had all gone wrong.

"This is where it all happened," I explained to him, pulling my coat tight across my chest and shaking my head sadly. "This is where I let the darkness take over…this is where I actually _helped_ Lilith to get closer to freeing Lucifer. Why would the angels make me do something like that? I felt like I had lost myself and then Jen and I had to re-forge the rune and I just…sometimes I feel like magic is what is making my life so much harder."

Dean nodded slowly and took my hand in his. "You did what you thought was best and I really wish you knew that I knew that, Lanni. Yes, this was bad and yes, I'm mad that it happened and that you left Johnny and me, but…you were doing what you were told because you were _protecting_ us. Lanni, you have a lot of baggage, but I'm willing to take it on for you, all right? God knows that you take it on for me."

"That's because I love you." I responded, nodding slowly as I turned to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "You have to realize though, that you're taking me, Dean. I'm different than I was when we met and we can't go back to that. I am what I am, and our children are going to be like me, and I want you to think about what you're getting into before you decided to get into it…I'm giving you an out."

"Yes, but I don't _want_ an 'out'." Dean responded immediately, kissing my softly. "I want you just the way that you are—everything you are is what makes you who you are and I'm in love with you, Lanni. You complete me."

I smiled and nodded. "I love it when you're chick-flicky."

"Woman," Dean said, kissing me to shut me up.

I giggled and kissed him back, slipping my fingers into his hair and keeping him close to me, wanting desperately right then to just go back home and try for another baby again. In fact that thought all on its own made me remember just how much happier my life was right now—Dean and I were trying to be happy…we were trying to have everything that it was that we wanted.

"Are you sure you want to deal with all of my baggage?" I asked him, looking him in the eye as he held me close to him, one hand wormed in my hair and the other resting in the small of my back.

Dean grinned at me. "A million times, yes."

I smiled at him and kissed him again, letting him hoist my body up and then wrapping my legs around his waist. The kiss deepened and Dean carried me over to the Impala, both of us getting into the back seat. At first I was a little worried about it, but Dean wanted to make a _good_ memory here and what better way to do that then to try for a baby in the backseat? So I just kissed him and started working on getting his clothes off, laughing when Dean started making up a story we could tell everyone later.

xxxx

I was rather happy the next day and I was trying to spread that happiness around because I wanted everyone to be as happy as me. Dean and I were trying for another baby, we were all under one roof, my wound didn't hurt so much, and though Kate and Sam had been arguing a lot, I wanted everyone to be good. Things were finally looking like they were good.

"Look at Johnny today—isn't he adorable?" I asked Kate as she played some cards with Sam in the living room, Dean shoving food into his mouth across the room in the arm chair.

Kate looked up and smiled at him in his sweater. "Awww! He is! I think he's starting to look a little like his daddy, too."

"Ha!" Dean exclaimed, talking with food in his mouth. "I _told_ you he would start to look more like me and less like you as he got older!"

"I'm sorry, Lan…" Sam told me, a slight smile on his face.

Normally I was rather attracted to my husband when he was shoving food into his mouth and talking at the same time but this was different. I'd gotten so used to our son looking more like me and for him to start looking more like his dad? Handsome as Dean was, I wanted Johnny to look like me forever.

"Why would you even say that to me?" I asked Kate.

She laughed and rolled her eyes, Dean coming over and taking Johnny from me, kissing me softly and then swatting my ass as he went with Sam out the door. Sam was looking into something and Dean was making an outing with Kevin and the girls and it was just going to be me and Kate. Kate said that she had plans of her own, but while I was looking up omens to see if Lilith had struck anywhere recently, she came into the den and she started setting up a camera, chatting away to me.

"I've been feeling like such a bitch because I hate Ruby so much and I can't help but be upset about her and we haven't even talked about when we're getting married—if that's going to happen—so all we've been doing is having a bunch of sex." Kate informed me, setting the video camera up on the tripod she'd brought with her.

I laughed a little. "Yeah, trust me, I know. Dean and I had to leave the house last night to have our heart to heart because we didn't want to hear you."

"Oh, my bad—all we've been doing is having a bunch of loud sex." Kate corrected herself and I laughed again, smiling at her.

"Yeah…and to be fair we left last night because we needed to be at the mouth of the seal you and I broke—your loud sex didn't make us leave. Hey…um…" I made a face as I looked at her and the camera, wondering why she was setting it up _and _talking about her and Sam. "What is the camera for?"

"I'm doing part of Kat's school project for her—now back to Sam." Kate told me.

I nodded slowly at the _newest_ mention of Sam. "You're not going to like…film you and Sam are you?"

Kate gasped. "Of course not! Porn is not part of Kat's High School Project!"

"Good…now stop recording and rewind the tape so she sees none of this." I told her with a laugh.

"It's on right now? Fuck." Kate said softly.

We both laughed a little bit as she stopped the tape and then rewound it, both of us spending the afternoon together. The two of us watched TV and looked into omens, and then Dean home and Sam called Kate to check in while he was still out, Dean and I getting dinner together for everyone. It was a little frustrating, however, when Johnny wouldn't eat his vegetables—he wanted to play with them.

"Johnny-Bear, Sweetheart, please stop putting your finger in your mouth and just eat your peas." I told Johnny, looking at Dean because he was holding Johnny instead of getting him to sit in his high chair.

I loved how much Dean loved his little boy, but he was starting to pick up bad habits already. He didn't like sitting at the table in his high chair really anymore—he wanted to sit on someone's lap—and since I was trying for another baby with Dean, the two of us were trying to wean Johnny off of breast milk. That was all well and good, but Johnny wanted to be held more often these days and happy as we were to do just that, we were both kind of worried on how dependent he was growing.

"Maybe he just doesn't want his vegetables." Dean told me with a shrug.

I sighed loudly. "I don't care, he's going to have to eat them—you're teaching our son bad habits, Dean. You wouldn't eat your peas, so now he won't eat his…"

"Just eating some junk food and watching Lana try to feed Johnny some peas, but Dean ruined it for him once again." Kate explained to Sam, walking into the kitchen while on the phone with him.

"Hey! My son and I just don't like peas, okay?" Dean told her, looking at me and shrugging a little bit.

"Maybe he would like them if you let him decide for himself whether or not they were good." I told him, raising my eyebrows at him and giving him a look.

Kate laughed and Dean and I both looked at her. "Sam! I'm not going to have phone sex with you right now, just come home faster and we can utilize our room."

I'm not going to lie—I laughed a little bit when she said that, and laughed even harder when Dean made a face. He really didn't want to even _think_ about his brother having phone sex, but it was pretty funny to me because it was just so Kate. Not to mention I was just happy that Kate and Sam were talking even though tensions were high with them.

"Okay, ew…I feel disturbed now." Dean said, looking down at Johnny as Johnny laughed a little bit and ate a pea much to my pleasure.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

I felt pretty bad about the way that I had been acting and I really felt like Sam deserved better. He had come in late that night and we had just held each other instead of really talking about anything, both of us really trying to get past this. So I had gotten up early—Lana before me, but she had a kid to attend to—and when Sam cam downstairs he was surprised that Dean wasn't there too, but Dean was sleeping.

"I made you pancakes, all right?" I informed him, setting some down in front of him on a plate. "I've been bitchy about Ruby, and I've been a little pushy about getting married and I need to make up for it."

"So all of the sex recently wasn't 'making up for it'?" Sam asked me, winking.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Our loud, amazing, angry sex was just that—loud, amazing, angry sex. This is a peace offering from me to you because I need you to know that I still love you, and that I'm trying to back off and take things as we go—there's only so much pushing someone can do before they push someone away completely and I can't lose you."

"Katie…you're never going to lose me—I would never let that happen." Sam promised me, resting his hands on mine. "I love you too much to let you go."

I kissed him softly, glad to hear it. He and I had been drifting away from each other and I really wanted to believe that he and I were going to make it. We were just hitting a bump in the road right then and as much as we hated it, it was just something that was happening. The two of us had the ability to make the situation better though…and we were going to work at it.

"Forget the pancakes—let's go have loud make-up sex." I told Sam, taking him by the hand and leading him upstairs.

Sam chuckled and followed me to our room, crashing his lips into mine once I closed the bedroom door behind us. I suddenly realized as we both worked quickly to get each other's clothes off, that Sam and I didn't really have calm, romantic sex anymore…it was always quick and fevered. It was almost like the two of us really didn't have sex unless we were upset or trying to make up for fighting and so things between us were heated.

It wasn't that I was exactly complaining, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss when we used to make love instead of just have sex. I was pulled out of my thoughts when I felt Sam's large, calloused hands push my pants off of my hips, me helping him to get them off of me before going for his pants next. We were naked quickly, Sam falling back on the bed and pulling me down with him, nipping at my bottom lip and sucking it into his mouth.

I moaned as his hands roamed my skin, feeling tiny against his massive body like I normally did, but for a moment I started wondering what we were doing. Yes, we were made up now and we were just sleeping together because we wanted to and we wanted to show each other physically that we were put together again, but what were we doing? All we'd been doing recently was arguing and having sex and we'd never really had _this much_ sex _this often_ before…what if this had repercussions?

I was reminded that we were always safe when Sam fumbled with the nightstand drawer and pulled out a condom, me taking it from him. We continued to kiss each other hard, bruising each other's lips, Sam hissing a little as I ran my hand down his body, my nails raking against his skin, stopping at his member. Then I opened up the condom package with my teeth and once I'd slipped it on him, he initiated the act.

Why was I so upset that it was just sex? It felt incredibly as always and Sam even whispered that he loved me when he brought me to my breaking point, me whispering it back. He loved me and I loved him, but right now we were really only being held together by duct tape and we both knew it…we weren't one hundred percent fixed. We were silent for a while as we lay there wrapped up in each other's arms afterwards, Sam placing a soft kiss to my temple as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"I promise you that we're getting married, Katie." Sam told me, kissing me again.

I smiled a little and nodded as I ran my finger along his chest in lazy circles. "I believe you, Sammy."

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

I laughed a little when I saw Kate and Sam hurrying into their room and went straight up to wake up Dean, Johnny holding my hand with his left hand and holding his bright red fire truck from his father for Christmas in his right hand. It was one of Johnny's new favorite toys, and I was feeling pretty happy right now with everything going on. Johnny and I wanted to go out and greet the day with Dean in tow, and so since Sam and Kate were going to start making up, we wanted to leave soon.

I opened up the door to mine and Dean's bedroom, heading over to him and shaking his foot with my hand as Johnny stood over by the door. Dean stirred a little and I looked at Johnny who laughed, both of us pretty amused by the fact that Dean was still in bed when it was so late in the morning. Johnny and I had already had breakfast and we just wanted to go to the park and spend some time outside like a family.

Dean grunted a little bit. "Yeah?"

"So…your son and I would very much like to get outside and enjoy the day, right, Johnny-Bear?" I asked Johnny, him nodding vigorously as Dean looked at us, a little startled. "We want to go to…"

"The park!" Johnny exclaimed, a giant smile on his face.

I beamed at him, proud he was learning words and sentences. "Exactly, the park. Because we want to go to the playground and play with the…"

"Fire truck!" Johnny answered when I paused to let him talk to his father.

I smiled, even more when Dean smiled a little too because he loved his son just as much as I loved him. We were proud parents and I knew that he wanted to spend time with us this morning too, but he just wasn't quite awake yet.

I smiled broadly. "Yes! We want to play on the playground with the fire truck! So…are you getting up or what?"

Dean rubbed his eyes and turned a little to look at Johnny who was beaming and holding up his fire truck. He chuckled a little bit because he loved how much Johnny loved his new toy, and I knew that the next words out of his mouth would be cheeky.

"Do you think that you could give me like ten more minutes to get my bearings first?" Dean asked me, lounging there in the bed as Johnny just grinned.

I scrunched up my nose playfully, smiling too. "I think that you're a pain in my something I won't say in front of our son, but yes…ten minutes and that's all, Husband."

I turned to Johnny and lifted my hands up like claws a big grin on my face. He squealed and hurried out of the room, down the hall, me following after him like I was a giant monster, Dean laughing as Johnny and I left the room. Johnny and I went downstairs, me picking him up and Eskimo-kissing his nose, Johnny happily giving me an Eskimo-kiss back, and even happier when his father came down the stairs dressed and held out his arms for him. I faked a hurt look that my husband was taking our little boy from me, but I liked to see him and Johnny smile and laugh with each other.

The three of us went to the park, me sitting on the bench as Dean and Johnny played near the swings, Dean pushing Johnny in the baby swing. He was 15 months old and he was learning and growing so fast and I was so happy and yet it seemed so surreal. I couldn't believe that Dean and I had a son and that he was over a year old…it just didn't really seem real.

"Hello, Lana." Came the voice of a redhead I recognized.

I nodded slowly but didn't look at her as she sat next to me on the bench. "Hey, Chelsea."

"Looks like you're getting exactly what you want." Chelsea said with a nod.

"What do you want, Chelsea?" I asked her, looking at her as Dean focused attention on Johnny and Johnny focused attention on him.

"I wanted to warn you that Lilith is onto you." Chelsea responded, looking me in the eye. "You're not going to get to keep them safe forever."

I swallowed slowly. "How do you know all of this, Chelsea? I know that you know that I know how to kill you…so why risk coming here?"

"I'm like every other thing that goes bump in the night, Lan—I don't want to die." Chelsea explained with a shrug. "I protect you from Lilith…you don't kill me."

I looked at her and took a deep breath, eying the red-head that used to be my best friend and nodding slowly. It wasn't like Chelsea couldn't know about Lilith—it wasn't like Dean and I weren't expecting that, but I didn't want to go back. I wanted to protect my family by being _with_ my family.

"If you threaten my family at all, Chelsea—and I mean _at all_—I will end you." I told her, shaking my head when I suddenly felt Dean alert.

He was finally noticing Chelsea's presence, being far too invested in Johnny, but that was what I wanted. Dean deserved to be invested in spending time with his son, and even though Johnny felt her presence, he knew I had things under control so he never put up his force field. Chelsea just agreed to my terms and then got up to leave, Dean getting Johnny out of the baby swing and bringing him over to me, holding him close.

"So…what was _that_ about?" Dean asked me.

I took a deep breath. "Lilith is mad that I left her, and now I'm reconsidering our new arrangement, and Chelsea is going to update me so I know when Lilith is on the move in exchange for me not killing her."

"Is that worth it?" Dean asked me slowly.

"I think so…I don't know…I hope so." I responded, smiling and kissing Johnny's hand when he reached out and touched my mouth with it, the fire truck in the other hand.

There were other things that Dean and I wanted to talk about, but we figured that this wasn't really the time or place. We were at the park and we were playing with our son, and so we continued to do that and then we went home, Kate and Sam out and about in the house. The four of us decided to have some time in with Johnny, playing with him and cooking, and then Kate and Dean started talking in the kitchen while Sam and I figured out a movie to watch after we put Johnny down for the night.

xxxx

**Kate's POV**

"I think it's kind of awesome how fatherly you've been lately, Dean." I told Dean with a smile on my face. "You and Lana seem to be pretty patched up."

He nodded slowly. "Yeah…Lana and I are trying to go back to the way that things were."

"I like this idea—you and I should try that too." I said, shrugging my shoulders a little bit. "Lana and Sam haven't really spent time together since breaking the seal and Lana coming back and you know what? Neither have you and I. Since our romances are secure at the moment, maybe we should take some time out to get our friendships back in order."

"You mean you think I'm mad at you or something?" Dean asked me, laughing a little bit.

I shrugged again. "I mean I don't think you've forgiven me like you've forgiven your wife, and I don't think Sam has forgiven Lana like he's forgiven me. Lana's your wife and I'm Sam's fiancé. To a certain extent, forgiving us for our role in breaking that seal was a little easier just because you guys love us…but what about the rest of the people that are important to us?"

Dean knew that I had brought up a good point—part of he and Sam felt like it was _harder_ to forgive the woman that they loved for such a betrayal, but at the same time they knew that the love they had for Lana and I helped them to see that we did it for the greater good. We were just doing what we were told, but Lana and I hadn't exactly been trying to get out friendships back on track…just our romances. This was a great night to try and change all of that because Johnny was sleeping, and we were all together and actually forgiven by our lovers.

"Okay, then it's settled." Dean announced, raising his fist up in the air.

I knew that Dean wanted me to bump his fist with mine but I really didn't understand why because it wasn't really us. Maybe it was this residual feeling of him being fatherly and trying to be friendly, but Dean and I weren't really _this_ kind of friends. Dean and I were unconventional, and I couldn't help but give him a look and then stare at his raised fist, his smile wavering a little as I just stood there.

"Are you expecting me to fist bump you?" I asked him slowly.

Dean chuckled awkwardly. "You're not going to?"

"No." I told him pointedly, shaking my head.

"Why not?" Dean asked, pouting a little bit—that didn't work with me.

I made eye contact with him, his fist still up in the air. "Because you're not Sam and I'm not Lana—fist bumping is their thing. We drink beer and play 'Rate-a-Ho' at bars."

"Okay…" Dean said, slowly lowering his fist, drawing out the word he was saying, "let's go out and get a beer?"

"Atta boy." I responded with a smile on my face, and just like that we were out of the house, Sam and Lana watching an action movie in the living room while Johnny slept peacefully upstairs, the baby monitor on the coffee table.

xxxx

**Lana's POV**

Johnny started crying in the middle of the night and so I got up to go and see what was wrong. Since it didn't seem demon related, Dean stayed in bed, but he still had the baby monitor, so he could hear everything that was happening in the nursery. I tried _everything_ I could think of to try and get Johnny to stop…but nothing seemed to work.

I tried singing to him, changing him even though he didn't need to be changed, playing with him, trying to feed him but he wasn't hungry, rocking him, bouncing him up and down, bouncing him up and down on my hip while rocking back and forth, turning on some of his favorite music, humming to him—nothing worked. I couldn't even sense what was wrong with him and I was exhausted and I couldn't do anything to help him and when Dean came into the nursery he seemed a little upset as well.

"What's wrong with him? He won't stop crying." Dean told me.

I gave him a look. "You don't think I know that? I've tried everything I can think of! I don't know what's wrong!"

I shook my head and tried patting his back a bit, his cries still as steady as when I'd come into the nursery the hour before. He hadn't even cried himself back to sleep—what was going on? Why was my son is such a bad state? Did it have to do with Lilith? Was it something else? I needed to talk to my mother…maybe she would know, seeing as how she knew so much.

"Normally I do, but I just…I'm so tired right now, Dean. Can you please take your son? He obviously doesn't want his Mommy right now and unless I can figure out what's wrong with him, none of us are getting any sleep—I should call my mother." I told him, handing him over.

Dean nodded slowly and started rubbing Johnny's back, trying to hum some Metallica to him which made me smile a little but I had a mission. I went to the phone and called my mother, Mom telling me that she thought that she knew what was happening and telling me that I wouldn't like it. She didn't want to explain anything to me over the phone, but I had a feeling that it had to do with my heritage…which meant that _Dean_ wasn't going to like it either.

"_I don't understand what's going on with her, Flor…do you understand it?" John asked her, a little weary of the little girl in her arms._

_Florence looked at him and took a deep breath, smiling sadly and then just trying really hard not to be __**too**__ up front with him. He was only __**just**__ getting used to the fact that Lana was the product of a human and a demon and with everything he was learning about hunting, he was afraid of the crying baby girl that Florence was trying to rock back to sleep. At the same time, she was a baby girl and he trusted Florence—trusted her with his life._

"_She's just becoming who she is…which worries me, to be honest." Florence admitted, shaking her head. "I might have to hide this part of her from her."_

_John looked at her, 6-year-old Dean in the other room looking over Sam, but aware that Florence was there. He knew the woman and he knew the baby girl…but he wouldn't always remember that. Florence brought up shielding memories from the children about Lana and Florence and their tie into demons and such and John though not wanting to part with Florence yet, thought that maybe that was a good idea…eventually they'd know…and maybe they wouldn't._

"_Will this be the last time that I see you, Flor?" John asked her calmly._

_Florence shook her head and kissed him. "No…not at all. Eventually we'll meet up again, and we'll continue to kick demon ass, I just…I don't want Lana to be part of this, and I'd rather the boys not know."_

_John nodded and kissed Florence swiftly, heading into the other room with his boys as Florence looked at the baby in her arms. For this moment in time Lana was calm, but Florence knew that wouldn't last—she'd be flustered until she came in contact with a demon and if that was the way it had to be then so be it…but Florence didn't like this. After everything that she had promised Mary, how could things have turned out like this?_

"So how is he this morning?" Dean asked me the next morning.

Johnny had eventually cried himself to sleep and I'd gone back to bed for a little while, glad to get some sleep and yet worried about my son. My mother was on her way soon and I was stroking Johnny's hair as he stood up in his crib, his finger in his mouth. He wasn't crying this morning, but I knew that something was still up with him because I could sense his sadness and fear beneath his happiness…what was happening?

"I think he's better—he seems pretty happy. It's a good thing Mom is coming today because I need to know what's up with our son." I told him, kissing Johnny's forehead and tucking some hair behind my ear as Johnny looked up at his father.

Dean smiled and then slipped into some baby talk. "You feeling better today, Buddy?"

Johnny just beamed at him and then held up his arms. "Up."

I laughed a little bit and smiled as Dean picked Johnny up with a smile on his face, kissing his temple softly. Johnny buried his face in his father's neck and I kissed Dean's cheek swiftly, Dean catching my hand with his as I went to leave the nursery, and I looked at him. He smiled at me and kissed me softly, nuzzling my nose with his and then looking me in the eye as Johnny pulled back a little and looked at us, content to be with us. He even started to grin a little as Dean pushed hair off of my face and tucked it behind my ear, his thumb lazily running along my cheek.

"I still want to try for another kid, you know…" Dean told me softly.

I smiled at him. "Are you sure?"

"I'm most definitely sure." Dean replied with a nod, smiling when I smiled. "We deserve this, Lanni—we've done so much for this world already and I think that seeing as how we've found each other and gone through so much to keep each other, and to make this family work…we should have another kid."

"I would really love to keep trying." I told him honestly, knowing that he knew that I was really, really happy.

"Hear that, Johnny?" Dean asked him, looking at him as he sucked on his thumb.

I smiled and looked at Johnny too. "You're going to get a little brother or sister."

"No," Johnny said, shaking his head a bit, laughing when Dean and I both went to tickle him with one of our hands.

"No?" Dean asked him, shaking his head.

Johnny shook his head. "No."

"Okay fine…you can just be an only child then." I told him with a shrug, pouting a little bit.

"No!" Johnny said, shaking his head harder this time.

"So you _want_ a brother or sister?" Dean asked him skeptically, smiling when Johnny started to nod, his blonde hair moving a bit as he did do.

"Well right now I don't really think that's a smart idea." My mother informed me.

Dean, Johnny and I turned to see my mother standing in the doorway, Kate or Sam having let her in. She was here to talk to me about my son and though Dean didn't seem so happy to see her given their history, but Johnny lit right up when he saw his grandmother. I wondered what was wrong with Johnny, and at the same time, I wanted Mom and Johnny to have some time together right now.

"Gramma," Johnny said, holding out his hands to her.

Mom laughed a little and started over to us, arms outstretched. "There's my little man—though I don't think I'm ever _really_ going to get used to him calling me that."

"Bobby isn't used to it either." I told her with a soft laugh as she held him. "Now do you want to tell us what's happening to our son, Mom?"

"I can't be one hundred percent sure right now, but I think he's just going through what you did, Lana—he's coming into his powers." Mom explained to me.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "Johnny's already got powers…what do you mean 'coming into them'?"

"I'm not talking about his powers from being a witch, Dean…I'm talking about his demonic powers." Mom told him softly.

Dean _really_ didn't like the sound of that, and I could tell that suddenly he was incredibly uncomfortable. He didn't understand what was happening because as far as he and I had been aware of, Johnny had already _had _his powers…did you really _come into them_? Did that mean that Johnny was going to start being able to actually hold his own against demons now?

"So demons have been trying to get him _before_ now so that they could manipulate _how_ he uses his powers?" I asked my mother, nodding when she did. "I see…so he could start crying again and not stop? Does it _hurt_?"

Mom shook her head. "No, it's just overwhelming. He might be having some nightmares like you used to."

"I had nightmares up until I was 5 that I couldn't explain." I reminded her, frowning a little bit. "I _hate_ that he has to go through this—that if Dean and I have more kids _they_ have to go through it too."

"_When_ we have more kids." Dean told me.

I smiled at him sadly, the two of us going down to get everyone some food since Mom was here. We spent some time with Johnny and then Sam and Dean went to go to the store when Kate begged them to, me taking Johnny and putting him down for a nap. I smiled at my little boy as he sleepily cooed a little, and then I left to go and work on my reading and researching where Lilith was right then.

If Lilith really was looking for me—or at least mad at me—I really had to know where she was so I could be ready for her. I really didn't want to have to look out for her my entire life…I really didn't want to think that by coming back I was putting Dean and Johnny in danger. Maybe Mom was right…maybe this was a really bad time for Dean and me to be trying for another baby.

"Well, well, well…if it isn't little Johnny." Megan said, her voice coming through loud and clear over the baby monitor.

Just like that I was up and headed for the room, surprised when I got there and Johnny was standing in his crib, his hands out. He'd seen me do this before, but his eyes were yellow and he looked so terrified and yet…so determined to eliminate this threat. He wasn't strong enough to kill Megan, but right before my stunned eyes, my son sent a demon to Hell…Johnny was now most definitely exhibiting his demonic powers.

Until I saw Johnny's eyes go yellow, I never really thought about what it meant to have Azazel's blood running through me. I'd been trying to teach Johnny things you would teach a normal little boy and yet…he _wasn't_ a normal little boy because his mother was half demon…his mother was a freaky 'anti-christ'. Mom told me this was going to be hard, and I knew that eventually I was going to have to teach Johnny what I had been taught growing up but what about Dean?

It was _hi_s little boy too and he was sometimes scared of what _I_ could do…he was scared of why demons wanted Johnny…_I_ was scared. The moment Dean realized that Johnny's eyes flashed when he was upset too, we were going to have some more awkward moments and then an in depth chat where he pushed things under the rug because he felt obligated to 'do the right thing' and keep our family together…but how was that fair?

Instead of dwelling on the thoughts, I quickly got Johnny out of his crib and held him close, wondering what it was that I was supposed to do now…something didn't seem right. Why would Megan come and not put up a fight against Johnny? Was this all just some part of one of Lilith's messed up plans? I mean it would make sense for demons to _want_ Johnny to come into his powers…but what was I missing?

I held Johnny close and I explained everything to Kate and the boys when we were all together that night, calling Bobby and chatting with him a little bit. Mom took off soon there after and went to help Bobby with a hunt and with Sam and Dean researching demons and Kate starting to get more into hunting like she used to be before meeting Sam and Dean, I was just lonely. Even with Johnny and getting to play with him and be with him, I felt suddenly like everything was starting to crumble and so I called Ellen and though it was a little out of the blue because we hadn't talked a while, she listened to me unload about everything—and she was a little mad at Dean and I for not telling her that he was alive.

"Lana, Sweetheart…it sounds to me like you need some help." Ellen told me, her motherly nature shining through her disappointment that we hadn't kept in touch.

I smiled a little. "I just…I feel overwhelmed is all—I'm not asking you to come. I know you have your own life, I just need to talk to someone."

"With Bobby and your mother gone right now it sounds like you need someone else there to help you take care of things—a hunt pulled them away?" Ellen asked me, making sure that she had gotten it correctly.

"Mom helped with Johnny and then took off and Bobby is helping her out of favor to me…I just…I miss you, Ellen." I admitted, loving that I could hear the sound of her voice.

Ellen had always tried to be a mother to me and she honestly cared about what happened to me and what happened to Johnny. Mad at Dean and me or not, she wanted to help me because she was motherly, and I was thankful for her, but I didn't want to pull her away from her own life. It wasn't her job to help me to clean up my own messes, but she was honestly worried about me and about how I was handling things…I loved her so much more than she'd ever really know.

"I'll be on the next plane out, Lana." Ellen informed me.

I was surprised. "I don't want to put you out—"

"—I'll be on the next plane out." She repeated and I honestly smiled…I was going to get to spend some quality time with Ellen.

**Note: So there is the chapter that gives you a little bit of insight not just into Johnny and how he is developing, but it gives you some insight into Florence's past and how things affected Lana, which in turn is what she's going through with Johnny. Plus there was some Ellen because let's face it—I **_**love**_** Ellen. Next chapter is longer and though angsty, it's pretty fun. Feedback is always appreciated!**


	86. Re Doing This Story

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Alright, I am re-writing this again…so go and look at the new story and I hope you guys don't mind a story that goes from Season 1-Season ?. So basically it is going back to the beginning and for some of you that might be annoying, but I backed myself into a corner with it all and I need to go back and put different things in. See…I quit the show and only recently started watching it again and I have new ideas and I have tweaks to make to old ideas and since I have time to make everyone grow, I want things to move faster and yet slower, and I want more past to be part of it.**

**So…check out "Hunting Demons: Remastered" and give me your feedback. I still love you guys and I hope that you all enjoy what I'm doing with this story now because it's going to move farther past where this one went.**


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